Student Staff Reclaim Weekly Pay a Quota System on Asylum Seekers Has Sparked a Heat- Ed Debate

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The student newspaper of Imperial College ● Established 1949 ● Issue 1313 ● Thursday 27 January 2005 ● www.felixonline.co.uk

Immigration issues The Conservative Party’s recent proposal to introduce Student staff reclaim weekly pay a quota system on asylum seekers has sparked a heated debate. Felix looks at the By Dave Edwards monthly pay was made in Operations Committee Imperial College Union, told said: “It was acknowledged national newspapers’ views Editor order to cut costs and make reversed the decision. One Felix: “The situation with that paying students on a on this contentious issue. it easier for the College to co- student, who has worked for part time student staff has monthly cycle was leading to uNEWS page 2 Following a highly unpopu- ordinate payments. Student the College for two years, been unfortunate, and I hope recruitment problems in our lar change to monthly pay in staff complained about a cautiously welcomed the those who have been incon- organisation.” State of the Union December, students who work range of issues, including a news: “We’re all incredibly venienced will be compensat- Meanwhile, the introduc- The President’s views on hall part time for Imperial College lack of communication, insuf- pleased, but as far as I’m ed appropriately. tion of new computer soft- rents, freedom of speech, will be paid on a weekly basis ficient compensation pay- concerned they should never “It’s great that the College ware has caused yet more sabbatical elections and (of again from 1 March. ments, short notice, incorrect have moved us off weekly pay has finally realised that part payroll difficulties, with some course) doughnuts. A considerable proportion tax deductions and the fact in the first place. Perhaps in time staff should be paid systems unavailable for eight uCOMMENT page 6 of Imperial students work for that some non-student staff future these decisions should weekly, and I hope all the days in early February. This the College part time, in areas were still being paid weekly. be made at higher levels and problems can be sorted out has inconvenienced line Sexist science? ranging from Conferences to Some workers even quit their after the students have been very soon.” managers, who have had to The President of Harvard the students’ union. jobs as a result. consulted.” Malcolm Aldridge, the process payroll details earlier University recently claimed The original change to However, the College’s Mustafa Arif, President of College’s Financial Controller, than expected. that men have more “innate ability” at science and maths than women. Is he right? uSCIENCE page 5 Student struck by taxi as Books is back In Collapse, Jared Diamond explains how we can learn from the mistakes of past politicians consider ‘naked roads’ civilisations. uBOOKS page 21 By Dave Edwards would be part of a £25m rede- velopment of the area. This week in sport An Imperial College stu- The idea has been used suc- Varsity Day tickets go on dent was hit by a taxi on a cessfully in Holland and is sale. Plus match reports from pedestrian crossing close to also being trialled in Seend, rugby and lacrosse. Exhibition Road, which may Wiltshire. Its supporters uSPORT page 27 soon be stripped of all its traf- claim that it encourages driv- fic lights, signs and crossings ers to slow down and take under new proposals. more notice of pedestrians. The student, Dan Houcke, Wiltshire County Council who is in the fourth year of says that accidents in Seend a mechanical engineering have fallen by a third and the degree, was crossing Prince average driving speed has Consort Road on Tuesday dropped by 5% since roads’ lunchtime when he was hit by central white lines were the car. He was unhurt. The removed. driver of the taxi blamed Mr However, the scheme has The women’s lacrosse team Houcke for the collision and received widespread criti- attempted to place him under cism. Edmund King, execu- a citizen’s arrest. Police were tive director of the RAC, said: called to the scene, where “Although this might make THIS WEEK they questioned the two men drivers more careful, it could News page 2 but took no further action. also encourage the aggres- Business page 3 Mr Houcke told Felix: “I was sive motorist to behave more Science page 4 walking across the pedestri- recklessly. We would certainly Comment page 6 an crossing. He was probably question whether this type of Clubs & Societies page 8 doing well over 30mph.” experiment should be imple- Around Campus page 11 A short distance away, mented on a wider scale.” Exhibition Road is set to Mr Houcke, following his What’s On page 13 be the site of a pilot ‘traf- encounter with the taxi, said Mechanical engineering student Dan Houcke answers questions from police after being Music page 16 fic calming’ scheme, in of the ‘naked road’ scheme: hit by a taxi on Prince Consort Road on Tuesday. Proposals to remove all traffic lights, Nightlife page 18 which all markings would be “I wouldn’t have thought it kerbs, crossings and signs from nearby Exhibition Road are being considered by Arts page 20 removed and no-one would would work, considering peo- Kensington and Chelsea Council, with a decision expected in the next few months Books page 21 have automatic right of way. ple cross the road so frequent- Film page 22 Pedestrians would be able to ly and drivers go so fast.” Union, told Felix: “We [the for students, given the large drivers in the area”. Coffee Break page 24 cross the road anywhere, and Sam Rorke, Deputy Union] are excited to see if it number needing to cross A decision on the future of a 20mph speed limit could President (Education and works, but concerned about Exhibition Road. Personally Exhibition Road will be made Sport page 27 be introduced. The scheme Welfare) of Imperial College possible safety implications I’ve seen a lot of dangerous in the next few months. Felix 2 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

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Issue 1313 Experts demand action against South

Editor Dave Edwards Kensington ‘pollution hotspot’ Business Editor Numaan Chaudhry By Darius Nikbin nitrogen dioxide air pollution attributable to vehicle emis- experts determined that irritation in the eyes, throat, Science Editor in certain areas of London sions. South Kensington had the and on the skin. Science Editor was as much as three times An Imperial College stu- second highest level of nitro- In the long term, nitro- Darius Nikbin A study last week published the government target. dent living on Cromwell Road gen dioxide out of the areas gen dioxide exposure may Music Editor by the Chartered Society of A measuring station next to told Felix: “Pollution is a fact tested. London’s Marylebone also increase an individual’s Andrew Sykes Physiotherapy (CSP) has the Natural History Museum of everyday life for me here. Road was highest with 108 susceptibility to respiratory identified 25 areas in the UK, found that the level of nitro- This area is particularly bad micrograms per cubic metre. infection and cause altera- Nightlife Editor including London’s South gen dioxide on Cromwell because of the traffic, so I The average from all UK stations in the lungs. High levels Simon Clark Kensington, as being major Road was 80 micrograms avoid walking or cycling along tions was 32 micrograms. of pollutants such as nitro- Arts Editor pollution hotspots. per cubic metre, twice the 40 the major roads. So I’m not Nitrogen dioxide reacts gen dioxide exacerbate the Paola Smith Respiratory physiothera- microgram target set by the surprised by the results.” instantaneously with water to symptoms of those suffering pists have urged immedi- government for 2005. Using information from 110 form nitric acid. This means from lung diseases such as Books Editor ate action after the study Around 80% of the nitrogen automatic monitoring points it is toxic to various animals asthma, chronic bronchitis Martin Smith revealed that the level of dioxide present in cities is spread throughout the UK, as well as to humans, causing and emphysema. Film Editor Alan Ng Sub Editors Sarah Pozniak Students make vocal protest Immigration Zaina Nobeebux Stephen Spain debate reopens Felix against occupation of Iraq Beit Quad By Emily Gwyer But The Mail, one of the Prince Consort Road By Dave Edwards country’s most powerful London SW7 2BB Editor The parliamentary system papers, is in support of the Telephone: 020 7594 8072 and first-past-the-post voting move: “Our hospitality has Email: [email protected] A group of protesters from methods we have in Britain been abused. Many asylum Web: www.felixonline.co.uk Imperial Against Imperialism mean it is vital that we have applicants are economic caught the attention of diners two strong parties, so that migrants in disguise, play- Registered newspaper in the Union building and the the Government does not run ing the system to stay as ISSN 1040-0711 JCR last Thursday lunchtime, amok with no-one to censure long as possible. Others just as they demonstrated against it but itself. It is just a shame enter and work here illegally. Copyright © Felix 2005 the continued occupation of that the second party is right Michael Howard, himself the Printed by Sharman and Iraq by British and American wing, allowing Tony Blair to proud son of Jewish immi- Company, Peterborough troops. push further and further to grants, deserves much credit With two students dressed the right and steal the Tories’ for courageously refusing to as soldiers and one as an Iraqi thunder. accept the orthodoxy of our prisoner, the group handed If the Liberal Democrats smug liberal elite who want out flyers and spoke through manage to do what they think to suppress real debate on megaphones in an attempt to is possible and become the this issue.” highlight the abuse of detain- second party at this year’s The paper recommends ees at the Abu Ghraib prison. election, they may manage repealing the Human Rights A motion entitled ‘End the to shame Blair into actually Act, which, it said, has caused occupation of Iraq’ was on behaving like the leader of damage by giving “a green the agenda of the last meet- a Labour party. But while light to asylum seekers”. ing of Imperial College Union the Tories are in opposition, The Independent has one of Council but was not consid- they must do everything the most thoughtful articles ered as the meeting ran out Imperial Against Imperialism members demonstrate they can to win back seats, on the topic, asking: “Why not of time. against the occupation of Iraq and in their wisdom they are use this excellent model on swinging even further to the our stretched public services right. Whether this will appeal too? Put a limit on how many to many voters is question- injured people will be admit- able, but they are doing their ted into hospitals.” best. Under Tory plans, The This week, they caused an Independent points out, enormous storm by pulling Kelly Holmes would never into debate the issue their have competed for Britain supporters feel so strongly in the Olympics since her about: immigration. father came to Britain in the Michael Howard, Tory 1960s without the crucial job leader and the son of immi- skills required for admission. grants, put a full page ad in “There are those who prefer The Sunday Telegraph which to see the positive contribu- promised that, if elected, the tion played by new arrivals. Tories would impose a quota Britain, they argue, would on asylum seekers and intro- be a much poorer place both duce a points system for eco- culturally and economically nomic migrants. Cue much should Mr Howard’s vision wailing and gnashing of teeth have prevailed over the last by the left wing papers. three generations. The losses The Mirror accuses the would be felt in the transport Conservatives of despera- and health services, the arts, tion and reminds us that “the sport and, crucially, com- Tories have a history of play- merce.” ing the ‘race card’.” Howard’s The paper points out that – predecessor, William Hague, unlike the stereotype of immi- took a similar lurch to the grants working in unskilled right shortly before the Tories jobs – three quarters have were thrashed at the polls managerial or skilled profes- four years ago. sions and are sought out by The Guardian reports the Government. Trevor Phillips, chair- This debate is not going to man of the Commission for go away. No matter how dis- Racial Equality, accused tasteful some of us may find the Conservatives of plan- it, it is important to many ning their campaign around voters and needs to be dis- “ill-informed propaganda of cussed. But let’s hope that it some of the more demented does not become a mud-sling- anti-immigration groups.” ing free for all. Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 3

Business [email protected] Latest from the Square Mile After the 20% surge in online spending by Britons during the Christmas period, Numaan Chaudhry analyses the future of some of the biggest online corporations

EBay advertising, has become an with 13.7% a year earlier and increasingly important web 13.4% in the third quarter. EBay, the online auction- destination for consumers Nokia, of Finnish origins, eer, said fourth-quarter net shopping for holiday gifts. has the largest share with income rose over 40% but “Online is becoming a key 31.4% as of the third quar- narrowly missed Wall Street component of holiday shop- ter, according to IDC, a tech- expectations. ping,” said Rajiv Dutta, nology research firm. Nokia The rare stumble, and a eBay’s CFO. The company will report its fourth-quarter lukewarm financial fore- has been adding and promot- earnings later this month cast for this year, sent its ing features to help holiday which should go some way in shares down 12% in after- shoppers, such as its “Buy revealing how well the intro- hours trading. The San Jose, it now” feature that allows duction of its 7260 and 6670 California, company reported users to buy an item for a set have gone. net income of $205.4 million, price, without waiting for the Motorola apparently has up from $142.5 million, in the close of an auction. regained the number two comparable period last year. EBay executives remain ranking after conceding that The result matched the com- confident enough to increase spot earlier in 2004 to South pany’s forecast. Excluding investment plans for this Korea’s Samsung Electronics the amortization of intangi- year to more than $300 mil- Co. Samsung has stumbled bles and some stock option lion from an original $200 recently, with reportings from expenses, however, eBay million. Dutta said much of last week indicating that its said it would have reported the additional money would net profit in the fourth quar- income of 33 cents per share; be directed at eBay’s PayPal ter fell 2% as margins tight- just shy of the 34 cents per payment-processing unit and ened. share expected by Wall Street its relatively new China oper- Motorola reported revenue analysts. ation. Dutta also said eBay of $8.84 billion in the quar- Revenue climbed 44% to will accelerate its expansion ter, a 27% increase from a $935.8 million from $648.4 mil- of PayPal internationally by year earlier. The company’s lion, surpassing the compa- introducing the service in overall performance, which ny’s prediction of $915 mil- more countries, and invest exceeded market expecta- lion. $100 million in China, the tions, was driven by strong For the year 2005, eBay said world’s fastest growing econ- sales in the handset division, it expects revenue of $4.25 omy. “We see even greater which accounts for about 40% to $4.35 billion and earnings opportunity in China today of its total revenue. Motorola per share excluding certain than we did six months ago,” shipped 31.8 million handsets expenses of $1.48 to $1.52. said Chief Executive Officer in the quarter, a 42% increase Analysts had been expect- Meg Whitman. from the fourth quarter a year ing annual revenue of $4.37 EBay also declared a 2-for-1 earlier. billion and earnings of $1.61, stock split to shareholders of The fourth quarter is criti- according to Thomson First record on 31 January. cal because holiday sales can Call. Revenue from eBay’s US make or break the whole year “This was a surprisingly auctions business, its biggest and can determine momen- soft report for eBay dur- unit, rose 24% to $362.7 mil- tum going into the new year. ing a strong quarter”, said lion. Revenue from the inter- A year ago, Motorola stum- Mark Mahaney, an analyst national auctions business bled badly in the quarter, at American Technology rose 64% to $344.3 million. when several key handsets Research. Adjusting for the Revenue from PayPal rose didn’t reach the market. impact of foreign exchange, 53% to $200.2 million. the company’s revenue grew For 2004, eBay reported net Yahoo 39%, significantly slower than income of $778.2 million, or the 48% growth rate in the $1.14 a share, compared with Yahoo, the Californian third quarter, Mahaney said. net income of $441.8 million, internet company, reported The company’s internation- or 67 cents, a year earlier. a fourth-quarter profit nearly al-business growth rate also Revenue climbed 51% to $3.27 quintupled from a year earlier appeared to lag most expec- billion, from $2.17 billion; as it continued to benefit from tations. slightly higher than the com- a surge in online advertising. Nokia 7260: stiff competition for Motorola Inc EBay shares plunged 12%, pany’s previous forecast of The firm claimed net income to $90.92 in after-hours trad- $3.25 billion. rising to $373 million (25 cents beginning of a tipping point in first three quarters of 2004; Non-advertising revenue at ing, after falling $3.32 in 4 per share) from $75 million (5 advertising,” with more main- nearly equalling the $7.3 billion Yahoo rose 40%, although it pm Nasdaq composite trad- Motorola cents per share) a year ear- stream advertisers increas- spent in all of 2003, according still remained a small share ing. However, EBay shares lier. Revenues rose 62% to an ing their marketing online. to trade group the Interactive of the total. Yahoo’s fees for soared 80% last year, briefly Motorola Inc., the US tele- astounding $1.1 billion from Advertising-related rev- Advertising Bureau. Online its premium offerings, such giving the ten-year-old com- com-equipment maker, said $664 million. Not including enue rose 67% from a year ad revenue last year could as broadband services bun- pany a market value of more its share of the global market profits from the sale of shares earlier and accounted for 85% exceed the $8 billion in 2000, dled with high-speed internet than $75 billion. for mobile phones surged in in Google Inc by Yahoo dur- of Yahoo’s revenue, the same the biggest year before the access, climbed 52% to $129 Despite the concerns about the fourth quarter because ing the quarter, Yahoo’s profit as the previous quarter when recent slump. Yahoo’s gains million. Yahoo claims a client slowing growth, eBay has of a large rollout of handsets would have been $187 mil- compared with like-for-like in search-related advertising base of 8.4 million fee-paying been benefitting from the loaded with new features. lion (13 cents per share). That sales. Semel also said both of are “volume-driven”; revenue customers at the end of the growing popularity of internet The company said its net exceeded the earnings of 11 Yahoo’s major ad categories per search was flat from the quarter, compared with 7.6 shopping. Consumers spent income soared 34% to $654 cents per share expected by – search-related advertising previous quarter, but the million in the third quarter. $15.8 billion on the web during million from $489 million a many senior analysts. Also, and brand advertising such as number of search queries Revenue from listings, such the November and December year earlier. excluding commissions paid banner ads – grew strongly. conducted on Yahoo and its as help-wanted ads, also rose holiday season, up 29% from Chairman and CEO Ed to marketing partners, Yahoo Yahoo has profited from affiliate sites increased in the 15% to $38 million. Yahoo’s the previous year, according Zander, who took over the top reported revenues of $75 mil- a broader rebirth in online “double digits” from a year international revenue, out- to comScore Networks Inc., a position at Motorola a year lion above the company’s pro- advertising driven partly by earlier. Yahoo attributed the side of its US home, surged to market-research firm. EBay, ago, said the new models jection of $710 million. Yahoo’s search-related ads. US online per-search pricing trends to a $303 million. At 28% of sales, which began promoting itself helped increase the compa- Chairman and CEO, Terry advertising revenue, for both seasonal surge in retail-relat- that revenue represented the a few years ago through ny’s global handset market Semel, called 2004 “the year Yahoo and its rivals, totalled ed advertising, which gener- same portion of sales as in holiday television and print share to 16.6%, compared in which we witnessed the more than $6.8 billion in the ally requires lower rates. the third quarter. Felix 4 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Science [email protected] Am I my brother’s designer sibling? Is it right for parents to have an embryo selected as a donor for their terminally ill living child? Ignacio Quinones looks at a question that has enormous consequences for who we are How far would you go to save possibility of conceiving a new as two dozen couples each ics. The genetic improvement your brother’s life? If he was baby, who could then act as a year, at a cost of £20,000 for of humans and the generation sitting in the room next to donor for their ill son, arose. the four rounds of procedures of super-human “designer yours, quietly enduring one The new infant would be that are often required. From babies” is still very far from of many painful blood trans- conceived by In-Vitro fer- a purely economical point of being technically feasible, fusions, waiting for a dona- tilisation (IVF) followed by view, the NHS might profit but for certain sectors of the tion, would you not open the Preimplantation Genetic from such procedures if we public, genetic screening of door to help him? Now imag- Diagnosis (PGD) to ensure were to compare them with embryos is the thin edge of a ine that you owed your exist- compatibility with Zain’s the price of lifetime treatment very large wedge. Regulatory ence to him. That somebody blood type. PGD evaluates for a patient suffering from bodies such as the Human else had you born so that a the genetic characteristics of Thalassaemia, which nears Fertilisation and Embryology part of you would provide a three-day-old embryos before the £1m mark. But money is Authority serve to prevent cure for your brother’s ill- they are implanted in the not the main issue here. such events by monitoring ness. Imagine that you could mother’s womb. In this case, Ethically speaking, the wel- PGD on a case by case basis, actually have been a different fare of the unborn child is the but there has certainly been a person altogether, but instead “There is an ongoing main issue that causes con- relaxation in the laws. you were ‘planned’ to be a heated debate cern. If the child was born but When considering all these certain way. Could this be a unexpectedly failed to produce factors we must take into step too far? about the use of a suitable cure for its brother, account what is achieved by There’s an ongoing heated controversial genetic Child of our time: is it right for an embryo to be selected how would that be regarded the technique. In this case, debate about the use of con- screening techniques” on the basis of its usefulness in saving the life of a sibling? by the parents? Would the unless a suitable donor is troversial genetic screening child be conceived simply as a found, the only alternative is techniques by couples want- the embryos would only be an act considered as murder be healthy embryos that means to save a life, or would for Zain to lead a life of hospi- ing to save the life of a ter- selected should they prove to by groups that believe that unfortunately do not match it be fully accepted as part of tals and endless blood transfu- minally ill child by creating be a match for their future a human life is formed upon the blood type of their sibling the family? It can be argued sions. A ‘saviour sibling’ could a ‘designer’ sibling to act as brother. Any other embryos conception. These opposing and are therefore denied the that the reason for having be born instead, to provide a stem cell donor. You may would be discarded. voices were quietened down, chance to live. This was the a child by all couples is not him with healthy stem cells have heard about the Hashmi PGD is not a new tech- however, by the conclusion price to pay in exchange for always perfectly selfless, and and give him a chance at ‘real’ family from Leeds, whose nique; it has been used since that the born child would ben- saving little Zain’s life. The indeed some couples’ motiva- life. We cannot know if the five-year-old son Zain has had the 1980s in over 2500 differ- efit directly from the use of debate rages on, as there is tion to have a child naturally family will welcome the child over 100 blood transfusions ent situations worldwide. It such a technique, which has controversy regarding wheth- may be deemed as unethical in its own right or whether due to a potentially fatal blood is used by families that risk been in use in the UK since er this is too high a price to (having a child to save a mar- he will be treated as a con- disorder, Beta Thalassaemia. the conception of a child the early 1990s. pay. riage, for example). But then venience. In the same way, This condition could be treat- with a serious genetic condi- However, in the case of the The court’s decision to have again, not all couples ask for only time will tell whether ed by a stem cell transplant, tion, such as Cystic Fibrosis Hashmi family, it is not the the operation funded by the public funds for such causes. this is the road to eugenics but the failure to find a suit- or Beta Thalassaemia. The unborn child that benefits NHS has forced this highly Another source of concern is and “designer babies”. At the able donor with a compatible technique was deemed to from this application of PGD. topical issue into the public the fear that this could be the moment, a little boy needs aid blood group forced the family be controversial as it led to When embryos are selected, eye. This type of operation beginning of a ‘slippery slope’, and it is within our capacity to to consider alternatives. The the discarding of embryos, those being discarded might can be required by as much the road that leads to eugen- help him. Perfect antidotes: placebos and nocebos

By Giovanna Larice had received an active drug effect by having a significant mented in scientific literature, Biochemistry department that had earlier eased their biochemical effect. Sensory as ethical concerns prevent symptoms. experience and thoughts are them from being regularly Several studies have shown Evidence for a biochemical known to affect neurochem- used in research and in medi- that placebos, Latin for “I basis of the placebo effect has istry, which in turn is able to cal practice. shall please”, may actually do also been observed in patients affect other biochemical sys- Nonetheless, some stud- more than that and improve suffering from depression. tems such as the immune sys- ies have been carried out to health. Doctors have known for years tem. It follows that a person’s support the nocebo theory. In The placebo effect, an that many depressed patients mood may psychosomatically the Framingham study for the observable or felt improve- report improvements in their 20-year incidence of myocar- ment of health not ascribable mood after being given pla- “Do patients who dial infarction and coronary to an active drug, has been cebos (such as sugar pills) death, data showed that, inde- known for some time now. but only of late have place- benefit from taking Placebo: awful band, but recent research trials have pendently of commonly recog- Long term medical research bos been associated with a antidepressants do so shown their biochemical effectiveness in medicine nised factors that may lead to has suggested that some change in brain function. This thanks to the pill itself coronary death, women who sick people feel better after suggests that placebos may step further and claims that The placebo’s wicked double believed they were more likely taking a ‘dummy pill’ simply represent an active treatment or simply the act of the placebo effect need not is the altogether less notorious to experience a heart attack because they think it is real condition. Research conduct- taking a pill?” depend on making use of a nocebo, Latin for “I will harm”. were actually 3.7 times more medicine. ed by the psychiatrist Andrew placebo at all and can instead This is a harmless treatment likely to do so than women Until now, the placebo F. Leuchter and published affect their wellbeing or ability simply be achieved by positive that induces harmful effects that had no such belief. effect has been assumed in the American Journal of to recover from illness. feelings created in the health in a patient due to negative Are common expressions to be psychological, with Psychiatry in January 2002 A tantalizing question is then care environment. expectations or the psycho- such as ‘scared to death’ and patients simply believing that was the first to show that raised: do patients who benefit Other researchers suggest logical condition of the patient. ‘worried sick’ that have long they are feeling better, yet patients with severe depres- from taking antidepressants that the mysterious placebo The term nocebo became been part of our vocabulary recent studies have unveiled sion show alterations in brain do so thanks to the pill itself effect can be used in conjunc- popular in the 1990s, when just mere exaggerations, or do a direct biochemical basis functioning improvement irre- or simply to the act of taking tion with other medicines and scientists wanted to under- they represent an underlying to the phenomenon. A real spective of whether the drug a pill? harnessed to improve drug stand the factors that lead to realisation of the significance chemical response may actu- is placebo or active. All the same, many medi- efficacy - for example, by pre- negative effects in treatments, of mind over matter? ally be occurring in patients. According to Mr Leuchter, cal ethicists, such as Howard senting drugs to patients in such as non-specific medica- Modern scientists should be Experimental results released the hope associated with the Brody of Michingan State an optimistic and encourag- tion side effects. Unlike its less ignorant of the fascinating this year on Parkinson’s dis- potential for a treatment’s University, believe that admin- ing light. Ethical problems virtuous twin, a nocebo isn’t power our psyches can have ease showed that the neurons effectiveness and the convic- istering a placebo to a patient may arise however, if doctors generally a medication, but over our health and wellbeing, of patients receiving a simple tion of taking a real drug, along in the old-fashioned way is fail to elucidate all possible an influence (such as a belief, and should learn to merge the salt solution at the University with positive interactions with deceptive, unethical, and side effects in an attempt to certain cultural factors, or a body and mind in order to har- of Turin in Italy responded in the health providers, may in most cases should not be manipulate a patient’s view on mindset). Furthermore, noce- ness these amazing phenom- the same way as when they all contribute to the placebo done. Mr Brody takes it one the drug. bos are far less well-docu- ena to our advantage. Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 5

SCIENCE [email protected] Is science really sexist? News The Harvard President suggested that women have less “innate ability” at science and maths. Kathryn Lougheed asks whether there is sexism in science in brief

Hands up anyone who believes you need only look around the ted he “was wrong to have that women are physiologi- offices of the academic staff spoken in a way that has US plans ‘robot cally different from men. Do at Imperial College to realise resulted in an unintended you believe that women are the difference in the numbers signal of discouragement to troops’ for Iraq dependent while men are of men and women in top sci- talented girls and women.” more independent; women ence positions. Whether or not he meant to The US military is planning think with their hearts rather Recent comments by imply that men are better to deploy robots armed with than their heads? What about the President of Harvard than women at science, and machine guns to wage war the role of a woman? Is it nat- University, Lawrence even if his comments were against insurgents in Iraq this ural for a woman to want to Summers, have opened up misinterpreted, a man in his spring. The 1m high robots, marry and have children, to a huge debate on the dif- position should know better based on a robot already used want the protection of a part- ferences between men and than to make any suggestion by the military to disable ner, while men yearn to make women in science, and his concerning differences in bombs, is equipped with cam- their mark on the outside subsequent apologies have ability between the sexes. eras and operated by remote world? And of course, do men done little to quell the anger. Mr. Summers made anoth- control. Officials say the robot gain a higher status in life According to Mr. Summers, er point that has not been warrior is fast, accurate, and due to their work being more pounced upon with such pas- unlike its human counter- important than that done by a “...you only need to sion. He suggested that lack parts, does not require food, woman? What do these sup- look around the of senior female academics clothing, training, motivation posed differences mean for is partly due to child-mind- or a pension. women in science? offices of Imperial ing duties and the difficulty I should point out that I College to realise the for many women to work personally do not believe that difference in numbers the 80 hour weeks required you can so easily divide men for advancement. While this and women based solely upon of men and women in comment may not bepopu- UK sends data- their sex and would fervently top science positions” lar among many who believe collecting ship to argue with anyone who would they do not fit this stereo- suggest that women are less women have less “innate type, it is hard to deny that Aceh epicentre suited to science careers than ability” at science and maths there is not a bias towards men. My intention is to make than men, and he believes women being the ones who Marie Curie: an exception to Lawrence Summers’ rule? A British research ship will you think about whether you this is supported by research. give up their jobs to have chil- survey the sea floor near the believe differences between Among my co-workers, these dren. While there are always fessional advancement tend men and women in top jobs epicentre of the earthquake the sexes are playing a role in remarks caused much anger, exceptions, I am sure that to be between 25 and 40, and can be attributed in any way to that triggered the Indian the fate of women in science. from both men and women, there are still many people a large chunk of this period genetic differences between Ocean tsunami to gather As a woman, I believe I am and had it been our Rector out there who believe that can be missed if women the sexes. But perhaps there data for an early warning sys- equally capable as my male who had expressed this working mums are somehow have to put their careers on are still old-fashioned atti- tem, the British embassy in co-workers and I must con- opinion, it is possible that a letting their children down hold for the sake of their tudes towards women and Indonesia said. The vessel, fess that I have never been lynch mob would have been and these women will often families. environmental influences which is fitted with a multi- aware of any form of sexism dispatched rapidly from my feel a huge amount of guilt So is there sexism in sci- that impact their advance- beam sonar suite enabling holding me back from follow- building. at not being there for their ence? I cannot believe that ment in science careers. You the mapping of the ocean ing my chosen career. But Mr. Summers later admit- kids. The key years for pro- the difference in numbers of decide. floor, can retrieve information from waters up to 5000m deep, making it the first ship capable of such an assess- Obscene molecules: no. 237 ment to reach the region off the west coast of Indonesia’s This week, a molecule that doesn’t get up to Aceh province. too much at all. Fucol to be precise. The L-form (only D form pictured) is obtained from the Albert who? eggs of sea urchins. Amazing hominid haul in Ethiopia Fossil hunters working in Ethiopia have unearthed Fucol the remains of at least nine primitive hominids that are between 4.5 million and 4.3 million years old. The fossils, uncovered in As Duma, are mostly teeth and jaw frag- ments, but also include parts of hands and feet. All finds belong to the Ardipithecus ramidus species, which was first described about a dec- ade ago. Sea urchin Ultra-orthodox I, science J-walking A science magazine for Imperial A new study in Israel has shown that Orthodox Jews are three times more likely Next, week we look at the properties of Fucitol. We are looking for news and feature articles about than their secular neighbours Not just any molecule, but a molecule with to be risk-taking pedestrians. research at Imperial and elsewhere Rosenbloom and her col- some serious attitude. leagues watched more than 1000 pedestrians at two busy ● Do you think the Science section is dumbing To get involved, contact us now at junctions. An explanation down? Email [email protected] with your given is that the Orthodox are comments and comedy [email protected] more fanatical and therefore less afraid of death.

Felix 6 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Comment [email protected] Mixed messages

Apologies for missing last week’s but then voted against the overall room will cost the same in Beit as it to try to improve life for your peers? column. The observant amongst option. We thought this was partly STATE OF will do in Willis Jackson. Does working upwards of 100 hours you will have noticed that Union due to a misunderstanding of the a week at what amounts to less than Council was a little lacking in its similarity of options A and C (and THE UNION Freedom of speech £2.60 an hour turn you on? clarity of messages over the annual the correspondingly split vote). If so, why don’t you think about rent review. That meeting finished We therefore decided that there As sabbatical elections approach, standing for election as a Sabbatical at 11.30pm the night before the rent wasn’t enough strong support from the issue of independence of the stu- Officer of Imperial College Union? review meeting (and Felix’s print Council for us to ask College to dent media will rear its head again. Very few people will ever thank you. deadline). Sam Rorke, my Deputy vary rents according to ability to It’s perhaps worth reiterating that Everything you do will always be President (Education & Welfare), pay. We felt that a small majority of Felix is editorially independent. wrong for someone. But it’s char- and I spent much of the small hours Council wanted all students to pay Similarly, it’s worth re-iterating acter building and a real chance to and late morning preparing for the the going rate for their room and that the Union has a duty, under make a difference for your fellow rent review meeting that afternoon be empowered to make their own the 1986 Education Act, to “promote students (whether recognised or and I just didn’t get a chance to get choice about what type of room they freedom of speech within the law”. not). Nominations close on Tuesday. my column done. want and hence how much they Of course, there are limits to free For details of how to stand, visit the are prepared to pay. Accordingly, speech and there are laws against, elections website: www.union.ic.ac. Rent review support for students who can’t afford for example, incitement to racial uk/elections. higher cost rooms should continue MUSTAFA ARIF hatred. Firstly I think with hindsight Sam to come out of hardship and relat- UNION PRESIDENT Krispy Kreme and I could have tried to put the ed funds, which should be better Sabbatical elections issues to Council in a less confusing promoted. I did promise I’d stop talking about way. We found ourselves having to Where we felt there was a strong ent rates. We were able to address Do you look at things around College doughnuts. However, the Medical piece together what the consensus steer from Council was on address- this at the Rector’s Committee and wonder why they aren’t done School RAG are selling Krispy of their opinion was. Confusingly ing the unfairness that, at present, on Student Residences and it was better? Can you challenge com- Kreme doughnuts all week – pro- Council had, as reported by Felix, identical rooms in halls that have agreed that there should be some monly held views and assumptions? ceeds to charity. Which is fantastic voted for option B (rents should been refurbished to a similar stand- price harmonisation. Accordingly a Do you have the drive to work long because they really are the best vary according to ability to pay) ard are sometimes charged at differ- single, refurbished en suite single hours, with very little personal gain, doughnuts in the world. Summer ball 2005

Summer ball many students as we can. Club and society events at Online survey prize winners We are looking at various the Union Everyone wants a great College- options, such as holding the ball in From all those of you who fully com- wide summer ball. We need to make College as we did two years ago, We’re looking into new initiatives for pleted the online survey last term, it appealing yet completely finan- going for an external venue like last ents and want to work more closely here are the winners: cially viable and accessible to as year, or maybe combining it with with clubs and societies. This initia- Playstation: Altaf Daya. many students as possible in terms the Union’s end of term carnival. tive is a collaboration between the STA Travel Voucher: Sapna of location, ticketing issues, and of Or maybe something completely Union and its members that allows Nundloll. course date. new... you to get involved in organizing Meal for two at Moti Mahal: Unfortunately, departmental exam So if you’re interested in the chal- ents nights. Nicholas Oswald. timings vary so greatly, from the lenge and fancy getting involved Contact your club officers if you Crate of beer (or soft drinks if beginning of term right until the in making this year’s summer ball SAMEENA MISBAHUDDIN have an idea for a collaborative desired): Manish Hassani, Gareth end, so we’re aiming for a date as a success, or you just have some event and then get in touch with Clews and Tamara Elliot. close to the end of the summer term bright ideas and suggestions, get in DEPUTY PRESIDENT me at [email protected]. We’re making Winners will be notified of how to as possible to avoid exams for as touch at [email protected]. (FINANCE & SERVICES) plans for the summer term now. collect their prizes. An Irishman, a Scotsman and a Jamaican... I am glad to say that in this coun- of racial abuse that can affect you in Sometimes, people who don’t con- Extreme prejudice try the vast majority of people are all walks of life. ADVICE SERVICE sider themselves prejudiced will happy to live in a multi-ethnic com- make fun of someone’s accent or Racist attacks and violence are seri- munity. However, as always, there Racial discrimination birthplace. Although it is easy to ous criminal offences and must be is a minority of people who believe go along with a joke at someone reported to the police. The Crime that this is wrong somehow and In the UK, the main law dealing else’s expense, this can make them and Disorder Act 1998 created new we should all be the same. In some with racial discrimination is the feel hurt and isolated. If you have ‘racially aggravated offences’, such extreme cases, people believe we Race Relations Act 1976, which to make someone feel small to get as harassment, assault, grievous should all look the same, talk the was recently amended by the Race a laugh, maybe you just aren’t that bodily harm, and criminal damag- same and think the same. Relations (Amendment) Act 2000. funny... es, which carry significantly higher In the last couple of years there European Union law (which the penalties. has been a significant rise in sup- UK has also agreed to) includes a At College or at work It is also a criminal offence under port for far right political groups Race Directive which makes dis- the Public Order Act 1986 to use such as the BNP and the National crimination on grounds of racial or If you feel that you may be being threatening, abusive or insulting Front. This is clearly very concern- ethnic origin unlawful in: employ- NIGEL COOKE racially abused or unfairly preju- language or behaviour in order to ing for the future of our country and ment, training, education, access diced against at College or at work, stir up racial hatred. This includes the survival of our multi-cultural to social security and health care, STUDENT ADVISER there are a couple of options you distributing racist leaflets. All sus- communities. social advantages, access to goods can take. pected criminal offences and any These groups, in some instances, and services, and housing. people who are visibly different, for Firstly, you can take it up with racist incidents should be reported can target students in all sorts of example, black or Asian people. someone in your department, and to the police. The Information and ways. For example, they may decide What is racism? Racism can also include preju- then, if you feel that you are not being Advice Centre can also help you in to come on to campus and try to dice against ethnic, cultural and listened to, it may be an idea to seek this situation and give you advice for recruit members or just to stir up It’s not about white against black, national differences. Irish travel- further advice from the Information reporting extreme case of prejudice racial hatred. or black against white. It’s about lers, Romanian asylum seekers, & Advice Centre, who can advocate to the police. Aside from this, you as a student origins, roots, religion, and not being gypsies and eastern Europeans all for you in such disputes. We are Don’t let your concern turn into may experience racial abuse either accepted for who you are. experience serious discrimination independent of the College so would crisis. Make the Information and at College, outside College or at A racist is someone who picks and racism. They are white but may be able to deal with the situation in Advice Centre your one stop shop work, and it is important to know on someone or treats them badly dress in a distinct way, speak a dif- a more impartial way. You can also for all your welfare issues. what you can do if this happens. It is because they view them as different ferent language or act differently in use the Centre if you feel the same Telephone: 020 7594 8067. Email: also good for you to know the types and unequal. Often, racists focus on a racist’s eyes. thing is happening to you at work. [email protected]. Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 7

COMMENT [email protected] Make a difference in two hours Sajini Wijetilleka encourages you to give blood and help save lives The silly season has come and gone. The number of people needing used to treat those with blood com- the UK population are regular blood out of their schedules this year, Come February, only the bull-head- blood and its components is rising ponent defects, immune deficien- donors, donating the three million to donate the vital pint that could edly determined few can adhere to at an ever-increasing rate. One in cies and cancers of the blood on a units currently used on an annual save another’s life. The West End their ridiculously ambitious New five surgical procedures requires regular basis, along with road traffic basis. However, current demograph- Donor Centre, located on Margaret Year’s resolutions. The mere mor- five units of blood to be transfused. accident and shock victims. Thus, ics, with an ageing population, indi- St, London W1 (nearest tube tals among us should take it upon With older people requiring more somebody you know, perhaps your- cate the number of people available Oxford Circus), is open from 8am to ourselves to commit one act of altru- surgery, and the short shelf-life (five self, may unexpectedly be needing to donate, aged 17-70, is decreasing 7.30pm on weekdays. Call 08457 ism this year; and what better than weeks) of blood components making whole or partial blood donations. by 17% each year. 711 711 now to pre-book your next an act which some of us, as future it difficult to stockpile, more dona- We all expect blood to be there for Conclusively, it is up to healthy appointment. doctors, are intrinsically linked to tions are required. us, but barely a fraction of those who people, preferably from the younger Make a difference this year. Visit – the donation of blood? Blood is an essential commodity, can give actually do. Five per cent of age groups, to take just two hours www.blood.co.uk for further details. Letters to the Editor Security and first aid but I do think it is important that to suggest atheism is a bad idea is Moon (put “Easter date calculation” each course want. Dep Reps should Security have the support and confi- absolutely crazy. in Google if you are interested). This actively look at timetables and get I was disturbed, and disappointed, dence of the Students Union. means that the date of Easter moves problems sorted (I always did when to read the letter in Felix on the 20th Yours, around, with a maximum variance I was ISE Dep Rep). We don’t get January regarding the response of Regards Name and department supplied of 33 days! Sometimes Easter is details of departmental timetabling the Security team to a medical inci- Diana Pinn “early” and sometimes it is “late” any earlier than they do – and we dent in the SAF building. I do not Assistant Director of Estates in our, solar based, calendar. This cannot understand the consequenc- wish to enter into a tit for tat corre- (Services & Administration) Exam anguish and term dates means that the Academic Registrar es for the students as well as they spondence, but I feel it is only right has a very difficult task trying to can themselves. to correct the false impression given Dear Sir, balance the length of the Christmas I’m sorry Tim didn’t get a personal by the letter. ‘Atheism’ posters holiday with that of the Easter one. reply from Sam but all the sabbati- I understand that the facts of the In response to Tim Weinert-Aplin’s Sometimes one or both is going to cals do get a lot of email and Sam’s case are these: Dear Editor, letter I feel I must express my sup- have to be curtailed. The next major inbox was very full of disaffected Two people (members of the pub- port for the action of Sam Rorke, as upset will be 2008/2009. Aero students – it is not too surpris- lic) separately rang for an ambu- I would like to voice my total support my Deputy President (Education & As to exams around Christmas, ing that one or two didn’t get a reply. lance before Sherfield Control were for whoever it was that responded to Welfare). that’s really left to departments The important thing is that Sam was contacted. the atheism posters last week. The Union does not have a “bum- (and so the student view should be able to help the departmental reps Sherfield Control was informed at The ‘Life’ group at Imperial, a bling inability to see into the future”. a on a per department basis). My when it was clear that the students, 16.15 and immediately responded. Christian club, had put up posters Sam was correct to point out that old department always took the view in that department, were not happy The individual concerned had been saying “Atheism: the fashionable term dates are set (provisionally) (endorsed by the staff student com- with that department’s exam dates. having an epileptic fit. By the time world view that can’t deliver”. ten years in advance and confirmed mittee) that it was much better to the officers arrived, the fit was over In due time, posters in the same two years in advance. Last year, have exams before Christmas so as Kind regards, and the student was back on his feet. style but saying “Freethinking: the after a particularly late start of ses- not to ruin the holiday. Other depart- Mustafa Arif (None of our officers were present sensible world view that delivers” sion (which caused problems with ments (again with the students’ President when the fit was taking place). appeared. (Apologies if the words the autumn term starting at the agreement) have decided that it’s Imperial College Union The correct treatment in these aren’t exactly right.) same time as the ULU/BUSA sports better to give the students a longer cases (endorsed by the Ambulance This simple lampoon is the first season and ending too close to chance to revise. There is no right or Service) is for any obstructions to act I’ve seen which bucks a trend Christmas) I checked the term dates wrong answer as to how much revi- The dodgy dollar be cleared around the patient and that’s passed unnoticed for a while for the next nine years and made sion time is needed and the views for no intervention to be made until now. sure that they were all reasonable – of students on a particular course Dear Sir, the fit is over. The clubs – especially the numer- a couple of changes were made and can change from year to year. Sam Two ambulances, called by mem- ous Christian ones – blanket poster these went through Senate without should not be imposing one view Numaan Chaudhry missed out one bers of the public, arrived at 16.20 the campus advertising their events, anyone noticing. I couldn’t do any- or another on departments. That is important reason why the dollar will and 16.25 and the student was taken hoping that they can make some of thing about this year’s term dates as why departmental and course stu- not collapse as it should. Petroleum to Chelsea and Westminster Hospital the students pray/prey. they had already been confirmed. dent reps are so important. is traded in dollars and that accounts for a check up. Last term, I saw one student I should point out, however, that “The Union” is not just the sabbat- for 40% of the world’s trade so there- The Security Guards who respond at Imperial preaching outside sometimes the calendar just causes icals. Dep Reps are union officers fore there will always be a demand in the event of an emergency call Boots on Kensington High Street. problems. The main issue is Easter too and it is primarily their respon- for the dollar regardless of the US’s are all fully trained in First Aid. 29 of Unbelievable. which is the only Christian holiday, sibility to sort problems in individ- own balance of payments deficit. them have also been trained in the Imperial is a science university, that is based on a lunar date calcula- ual departments. Ultimately Sam’s Only one country has ever tried to use of a Defibrillator. and such open displaying of reli- tion. I can’t remember the exact for- (and my) responsibility is to help trade oil in another currency (the It is totally incorrect and irrespon- gious activities gives us a farcical mula off-hand but it’s basically the them represent their students not to Euro), Iraq, and look what happened sible of the letter writer to imply appearance. For posters at Imperial Sunday following the Paschal Full assume we know what students on there. otherwise. I cannot, obviously, comment on the capability of the medi- Yours faithfully, cal students around. Send your letters to [email protected] by 10pm Monday. This is the page where you can make your voice heard on just about Nicholas Royall As I say, I do not want to create any topic. Letters may be edited for length but not for spelling or grammar, and are printed at the Editor’s discretion Materials Dept staff member a mountain out of a mole hill here,

New look website launched today www.felixonline.co.uk The online student newspaper for Imperial College Felix 8 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Clubs & Societies [email protected] Ten things I can do that you can’t EPISODE ONE: The big red ball

JUGGLING CLUB Placing them out of the win- 1 2 dow is necessary in a small number of cases. By Chris Rowlands Place your left foot on the top of the ball, and step onto I’d like to take a quick it [see picture 1, right]. As moment to set out what you step, the ball will rotate these articles are about. This slightly – put your other foot is not a good place to find on it to stop it rotating too choice political comment, far. At this stage, it helps to complaints about why men have a friend who stands at Imperial are so unwilling behind you ready to break to approach women, or even your fall [see picture 2]. They much-ignored match reports should stand behind rather from some of Imperial’s fin- than in front, as you can catch est obscure sporting socie- yourself when you fall for- ties. Instead, on this page for wards. the next few weeks, you can Keep your feet moving! This find tricks, skills and forms of makes it easier to stay on lunacy that not only look good, balance – do tiny little steps but are surprisingly easy too. each time [see picture 3]. If Think of it as “Coffee Break 2: you feel yourself going off bal- 3 4 Extreme”. ance, jump off – you’re going With that in mind, I invite down anyway, so you might you to attempt our first feat: as well avoid landing on your the big red ball! arse. Keep your eyes fixed on It’s big, red, and you stand a spot on the wall as it will on it. No, really. Take off both help you keep your balance. shoes (and socks), then jump Of course, anything you (yes, jump) onto the ball. can do on terra firma can Now, try and stay on. Keep be done on a ball (although your feet moving, your eyes some things may require fixed on a reference point on hasty adaptation and a super- the wall, and a very strong human sense of balance). We belief in whichever God you suggest juggling three balls believe in. to start showing off properly This can be mastered rela- [see picture 4]. Once you can tively quickly, hence the need do that, try keeping your feet to make life more difficult. A still. Then try jumping. Then running mount (where you try only one leg. When you’re take a run up, leap and pray), out of Casualty, tell us how a static jump (where you bend wonderful you are by email- your knees, jump and pray) ing [email protected]. We and handstands (don’t ever meet every Tuesday evening stop praying) are all possible. and have all sorts of weird As mentioned before, this and wonderful toys to play is actually much easier than with, not just the usual balls, it looks. clubs and the like. Please Here are our step-by-step come along – email us for instructions: details. Firstly, take your shoes off. Place your shoes near ● Next week: the window where they are EPISODE TWO: 1. Put your foot on the ball, and step onto it, 2. Position a friend behind you, to prevent accidents such as this, unlikely to offend people. NUNCHUCKS 3. Take little steps and keep your balance, 4. Show off! Chess club rises to new levels

CHESS CLUB lenge on Monday. Bhatia proved to be too strong to play us in a few weeks’ On Wednesday 2 February, for their opponents. Anup time. we will arrange a blitz tourna- Sinha beat his opponent in 4. Organising the chess trip By Anup Sinha ment where each player has an interesting and tense fin- to Greece in the summer. 10 minutes on the clock. The ish. Willesden & Brent could 5. Other mini tournaments. In the last two weeks, we tournament is free to enter not provide any resistance The latest addition will be have had more convincing for club members, with a against the Imperial team. the game where you play wins for the two Imperial prize of £10 to be won. Email A few of the Chess exchange chess. Do you know Chess teams: 6½–1½ against [email protected] if you are Committee’s responsibilities what I’m talking about? This West London and 8-0 against interested. include: is a fun game of chess, which Willesden & Brent in the Against SOAS and City, 1. Organising all matches requires deep and quick think- Middlesex League, and 5½ Felix Balthasar, Robin Nandi, – we are now firm favourites ing plus team work... you play –½ against SOAS and City Yiannis Phinikettos and for the first ever season to in pairs! If you want to find in the ULU League. Having Beinan Liu performed well win both the leagues simul- out more, why not take part lost only one match this sea- to win both the matches they taneously. in the tournament for free son, both the Imperial teams played. 2. The Grandmaster and win prizes? Just email remain hot favourites to win In the Middlesex League, Challenge, as mentioned [email protected]. their respective leagues. West London had fielded above. 6. Many more events: just We pitted our wits against strong players in their team. 3. A tournament against become a member of the club Dr Jonathan Mestel, of the But Richard Thursby, Slava Oxford and Cambridge is in and find out about them. Visit maths department, in the Burenkov, Moritz Reuter, the process of being organ- www.union.ic.ac.uk/chess for The Imperial Chess Club are favourites to win both their annual grandmaster chal- Peter Levermore and Kanwal ised. Cambridge have agreed more information. leagues this season Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 9

CLUBS & SOCIETIES [email protected] Rowing for charity

MEDICS BOAT CLUB

By Joanne Hardwick

The Imperial Medics Boat Club held a sponsored ‘Ergothon’ at Paddington Station on 12 January. All donations from this event were given to the British Red Cross and the Disasters Emergency Committee in aid of the Tsunami Appeal. Over 60 medical student rowers took part in the event, and rowed the distance from London to Penzance over the course of a day. Even the coxes took part! £1500 was raised at this event, to join a further £500 donated via the website www.justgiving/icsm. We are extremely grateful to Rebecca Caroe at RowPerfect (who lent us the ergometers), Dan at the Red Cross (who provided our collecting buck- ets) and Lorna Enright at Paddington Station.

Rowers Andy, Gavin (above), Frank and Damo (left) helped to raise over £2000 for the Tsunami Appeal VOLUNTEERS NEEDED! Why not get active in the community whilst you’re at Imperial College London? It doesn’t matter if you work or study in Imperial – volunteering will have always something to offer you! We have over 250 volunteering opportunities in our database, so there should be a project for you.

The easiest way to get regular updates about volunteering is by signing up to our mailing list. You will receive all the latest opportunities on a weekly basis, directly to your email inbox. Simply send us an email to [email protected], clearly stating that you want to receive the weekly news bulletin and we will do the rest!

Imperial Volunteer Centre

email phone check out volunteering 020 www. Imperial Volunteer Centre @ 7594 imperial.ac.uk/ imperial.ac.uk 8141 volunteering South Kensington campus Union Building Beit Quadrangle East Basement Linking opportunities Prince Consort Road IN PARTNERSHIP WITH IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION London SW7 2BB

Holbein & Willis Jackson Halls of Residence

Applications are invited for Re-app Positions

If you would like to be a re-app at Holbein & Willis Jackson for the 2005/2006 academic year, then e-mail the address below to obtain an application form. Application forms are also available from the Accommodation Ofﬁ ce.

Email: [email protected]

Deadline for applications is 5pm Friday 11th February Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 11

Around Campus [email protected] News and events at Wye

By Nichola Hawkins Wye correspondent

January. Cold weather, dark evenings and coursework deadlines. Consequently I’m going to leave the serious journalism for now and write about some forthcoming parties.

Recent events

After a slightly slow start to the term for the Union, due to a rather busy start to the term in the library as coursework deadlines approached, things picked up again with events including a bungee run night in aid of the Tsunami appeal, the custom- ary rugby girls’ beach party and a trip to Canterbury. This Friday looks set to be another busy one, with a visiting rugby team coming down for the weekend, and next Tuesday will be a foam party.

Chinese New Year

On 7 February, the Chinese society will hold their biggest event of the year, with Chinese food, music, dancing and games in the dining hall from 7pm until 11pm, with the show starting at 8.15pm. The other big cultural event of the year is the International Night, when students from any country will have the chance to per- form to the Wye community.

Hunt ball

On Friday 18 February, the Wye students raised money for the tsunami appeal with a bungee run Wye Beagles will hold their annual ball. The Beagles are couldn’t support union events Choir will be visiting Wye for for their rehearsals that will provide a chance for Friday 4 March 2005. This has not a College or Union club, or use the services and rep- their annual ‘weekend away’, weekend, let me know (any continuing students to see the added advantage of the and this is not a Union event, resentation that their union a chance to escape from Silwoodians, contact one of some old friends again, and Swanley Hall at Withersdane although many students usu- offers because they disagreed London and concentrate on us and we’ll see what we can a chance for new students to being available for the ball, ally attend. with its political views. So we rehearsing, with some time do…). Any Wye-based stu- meet some former students so hopefully our guest DJ The Union is not pro-hunt- stay out of politics unless it’s for socialising on Saturday dents who want to meet some and hear some amazing (and can finally use his whole light ing, or anti-hunting for that something student-related night. real live South Kensington sometimes not-quite-believ- show. matter. Whichever view the like tuition fees. Any London-based stu- students on Saturday night, able) stories about “the old Union took on issues such as dents who would like to come look out for more details. days”. It’s Wye’s famous ‘old So, it may be cold and dark hunting, some of our mem- Choir visit should contact Choir social boys weekend’. right now, but this term has bers would disagree, and secretary Katherine Sloyan; Old boys As a result, the Easter plenty to look forward to. Just it wouldn’t be fair to make That weekend, 19-20 any Wye-based student who Dinner and Ball have been as soon as you’ve finished some students feel that they February, Imperial College wishes to join the choir The weekend of 11 March moved forward a week, to that essay. Silwood: international metropolis

By Andy Brown the community of Silwood For the international food whole is a global metropo- cooled by drinks from our new years natural disaster such Silwood Park correspondent mobilised itself to contribute night, the global community lis. The home countries were first time father Dave the bar- as this one demands a monu- to the global relief operation. was well represented with well represented too – there man (congratulations Dave mental effort by all. It is impos- There cannot be one person in A combination of second over eighteen nations contrib- were contributions from all and Michelle). Huge congrat- sible to place blame or fault this country who has not been hand book sale and inter- uting to the feast, from the four parts of the UK, with ulations have to be given to all for the devastation caused made aware of the force of national food night raised a well known and always appre- traditional Scottish Bonnie the chefs, in particular Bish, by such a rare event, which nature since the international combined total in excess of ciated Chinese, Indian and Prince Charlie Chicken and Saskia, Roshan, Niki and should instead be seen as a events over our Christmas £380 which has been given to Italian to the less commonly Clapshot and Welsh Rarebit Rob. There are also plans to chance for humanity to join in period, and there can be none the UNICEF tsunami appeal, found Iranian, Caribbean and (fancy cheese on toast to the release a book to accompany a common cause, recognising who can say they were not a fantastic achievement to Luxemburgish (Petit Beurre, English). the series, in true Channel the fact that the countries hit touched by the images and those organising it bearing in if you were wondering). It was All was consumed in the Four style, with money raised did not choose this outcome stories that have been emerg- mind there are only around 80 a firm demonstration that social room, conveniently from these sales also going to and that international politics ing in its aftermath. So it was students permanently living the community at Silwood next to the bar where the food the relief fund. should surely be put aside in with a sense of purpose that on site. and the Imperial world as a was washed down and spices A once in seven hundred order to help them recover. Felix 12 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

FEATURES [email protected] Around the world in 86 days James Devine visits construction projects around the globe

I observed, and although they the creation of a bio-diverse were implemented for eco- planted roof and the adoption nomic or legislative reasons, of an engagement plan with most carried an environmen- the local community. There tal benefit which was not nec- are also some outlandish and essarily measured. interesting features, mostly Sydney, Australia, was my revolving around the use of next stop, and also the head- materials for fit-out. These quarters of Bovis Lend Lease are so called ‘low embodied worldwide. Before spending energy materials’ or ‘rapid- some time in the ‘big house’ ly renewable’, and included as they called it, I took a side office interior cork walls and trip to Brisbane, Queensland. goat’s hair carpets! Initially, the trip had just The final stop on my tour been a way of filling time and was Los Angeles. In LA, I visiting more construction spent some time with the projects before head office ‘Fire Bond Program’, which could find me a temporary aims to build new fire stations space. However, Queensland for the city of Los Angeles, all had many of the most ‘sus- of which will be environmen- tainable’ projects I encoun- tally certified through the tered and a substantially dif- US LEAD program. It was ferent regional approach to an interesting office to work the subject. The most strik- in, with a number of uniform ing element of this difference ‘Fire Chiefs’ from the LA Fire was a personal commitment, Department. on behalf of the engineers, On site visits, I was really managers and construction struck by the extensive use workers, to maximise things of timber as a building mate- like recycling and minimising rial. Unfortunately it wasn’t material waste on site. sourced from rapidly renew- Returning to Sydney, I had able or managed forests, but the chance to study several as such represents a substan- showcase environmental tial opportunity for improve- projects. These are projects ment. There were also clear in which sustainability is key signs that suppliers and sub- to the design philosophy, a contractors were being chal- On site at Jacksons Landing, a housing development in Sydney, Australia decision usually made at the lenged by the inclusion of an expense of minimising project environmental metric in their In the summer of 2004, I is apparently a fairly severe only two days! I managed use and help out! I took some costs, despite the fact that performance assessment. spent my holidays travelling monsoon. By the time I got to negotiate my way to the time out from the project to this does not always have to With the correct incentives, around the world visiting to my hotel, everyone had hotel, which was surprisingly visit a few ‘typical’ Japanese be the case. contractors were finding construction projects on four been sent home from work nice given how little I had construction projects, which One particular project I stud- innovative ways to raise the continents. and it was raining bucket- paid for it. were a real culture shock ied was St. Patrick’s, a hous- recycled content of the fin- The aim of this journey loads. Undaunted, I jumped The choice of visiting compared with a typical UK ing estate conceived as being ished building, such as rais- was to gather an insight into into a taxi and headed over to Taiwan was something of a site. Of ‘standard’ construc- constructed in harmony with ing the proportion of fly ash some of the best practices in the other side of Hong Kong wildcard, but I found a sur- tion work ware, only a hard the sensitive local environ- in concrete, whilst balancing the field of sustainability and island. The taxi driver insist- prising body of work being hat was needed – no steel toe- ment and local community. the effect this would have on sustainable construction. The ed I pay a danger money pre- undertaken by Bovis Lend cap boots or high-vis jacket Another project was the head its structural properties. project was funded through mium, because his insurance Lease. I took an afternoon as would be mandatory in the office building itself. ‘30 The To give an exceedingly brief an Engineering Leadership didn’t extend to driving in a out of the Taipei office to go UK. All the site workers wore Bond’, to use its official title, summary of the whole trip: Award from the Royal Signal 8. I paid up and within for a walk down the road and their company overalls. has achieved class-leading In sustainable construction, a Academy of Engineering and 25 minutes we had arrived see Taipei 101, the world’s I found the Japanese repu- scores using the Australian huge difference can be made supported by Bovis Lend at Repulse Bay. Fortunately tallest building. Although not tation for quality, diligence ‘Green Star’ ratings tool. The through strong personal com- Lease. However, I wasn’t the construction project, a directly involved in building and efficiency to be well holistic approach applies not mitment to sustainability and looking especially at flagship housing estate, had achieved the skyscraper, Bovis Lend founded. A large number of only to the engineering choic- a willingness to challenge ‘green’ projects, but rather practical completion a cou- lease had done planning and efficiencies were to be found es which have been made and ask questions of others the mainstream of construc- ple of weeks before, so I had management work on the in the construction processes in construction, but also to involved in the process. tion activity. somewhere dry to weather shopping mall at the base of This article is intended as a the rest of the storm. the tower. I took a side trip brief overview of some of my The estate had been refit- to visit Tainan, in the south experiences and findings. I’m ted and refurbished as part of Taiwan, where a $300m currently working on a more of a project to turn it into an glass factory was being con- formal write up of my travels exclusive housing complex. structed for the American and discoveries. If you would Some innovative techniques glass manufacturer Corning. like a copy, just email me at and practices had been used It was the largest single con- [email protected]. in the project, including some struction project I’ve ever Dubai was the first stop very tight logistics to mini- seen, with hundreds steel on my tour. The construc- mise inconvenience to sitting beams, many over 1.5m deep, tion industry in Dubai has tenants. Although it hadn’t all working 24 hours a day to been in a state of continu- been one of the specific aims meet the client’s ambitious ous boom since the 1980s. I’d of the project, refurbishment requirements. Cement lor- never seen so many tower rather than demolition is ries were rolling in continu- cranes at the same time often cited as being better ously throughout my two day before; it was as if the entire on ecological and sustainable stay. As for sustainability, I city was being constructed grounds. didn’t find it to be a particu- right in front of your eyes! It was a wet 48 hours in larly important issue. Prime There wasn’t much evidence Hong Kong, which included focus was instead placed on of sustainability in any of the me accidentally setting my worker safety and meeting projects I had the opportunity watch two hours two fast on the program deadlines. to look at. Although it won a Sunday morning, then madly After visiting Taiwan, I flew mention, along with energy rushing to the airport, when on to Japan and spent some efficiency, there was little evi- I could have had some more time working in the office dence that it was actually a sleep! I caught a flight to there. As luck would have real priority. Taipei, the capital of Taiwan. it, they were engaged in the Next stop was a flying visit I picked it up somewhere that process of modelling leak- to Hong Kong. I arrived on Taiwan receives 20,000 visi- age from underground petrol a Friday afternoon in the tors from the UK each year, tanks for a client, so I was middle of a Signal 8, which with an averagestay lasting able to put my maths skills to The Hoover Dam, on the border between Arizona and Nevada, USA Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 13

What’s on [email protected] Without Borders UK will be FREE FRIDAY running 36 placements in The quiz is a bit of a tradition a wide variety of develop- at the Union, with cash and 28 JANUARY ment-related work. Locations beer prizes on offer. Get a Running an event? include Brazil, Ecuador, team together and see how UNION EVENTS Nigeria, Rwanda, Sri Lanka, much you really know. BIKE AUCTION India, Nepal and Malaysia. Contact: [email protected] Tell us about it! 1pm They are open to students Beit Quad of any discipline. If you wish FILM Second hand and nearly new to find out more about the ENDURING LOVE Felix will print your listings free of charge. bikes for sale. placements as well informa- 8.30pm Contact: [email protected] tion about how to apply for Union Concert Hall Just email [email protected] and tell us: them, come to this event. £3 – UNION EVENTS There will also be the oppor- Two strangers become dan- • the name of the event RED HOT SALSA & tunity to answer any ques- gerously close after witness- SALSA LESSON PARTY tions you might have. For ing a deadly accident. • who is running it 8pm–2am more information, check out Showing at the Union’s own Beit Quad the placements section of our cinema. £3 web page (www.ewb-uk.org/ Contact: [email protected] • the time Tapas and a house white/red placements/2005/index.php). costing £2.60. Shot of malibu Contact: • the location and draft mixer for £1 in dBs [email protected] bar. • the cost (if any) Advance ticket profit goes WEDNESDAY to IC Dance, Latin American, • a brief description of the event Spanish, Italian, Portuguese 2 FEBRUARY and Cypriot societies. TUESDAY • a contact email address Contact: [email protected] UNION EVENTS 1 FEBRUARY SPORTS NIGHT 8pm–12midnight CLUBS AND SOCIETIES Beit Quad Please put ‘LISTINGS’ in the subject CREATE POP ART WITH £1 SATURDAY LEOSOC Carlsberg and Tetley £1 a pint field of your email Room 407, Electrical engineer- all night in all bars. 29 JANUARY ing building Contact: [email protected] Join us with our tutor to UNION EVENTS investigate and create some FILM Daily: 1pm, 2.30pm, 3.45pm, WORLD POLICE (15) ROCKSOC presents pop art of our own. Please I HEART HUCKABEES 5.45pm, 6.45pm, 8.30pm, Daily: 5pm, 9.40pm. Fri and PANDEMONIUM email for details. 8.15pm 9.15pm. Fri and Sat only: Sat only: 11.55pm. 7–11pm Contact: [email protected] THURSDAY Union Concert Hall 11.30pm. Sat and Sun only: MILLION DOLLAR BABY dBs £3 10.30am, 11.30am. (12A) £2–£4 FILM 3 FEBRUARY A husband-and-wife team ASSAULT ON PRECINCT Daily: 2pm, 5.10pm, 8pm. Fri Rocksoc brings you a night I HEART HUCKABEES play detective, but not in the 13 (15) and Sat only: 10.50pm. of live music from 40 Acres, 6pm VERY IMPORTANT traditional sense. Instead, Daily: 1.40pm, 4.30pm, 7pm, THE AVIATOR (12A) Helgrind and Kody. Union Concert Hall FELIX PUBLISHED the happy duo help others 9.30pm. Fri and Sat only: Daily: 12.45pm, 4.15pm, Contact: [email protected] £3 10am onwards solve their existential issues, 11.45pm. Sat and Sun only: 7.45pm. A husband-and-wife team Pick up the last issue of term the kind that keep you up at 11.15am. WHITE NOISE (15) play detective, but not in the from your department or the night, wondering what it all RAY (15) Fri and Sat only: 12midnight. traditional sense. Instead, Union building. means. Daily: 2.10pm, 5.30pm, LEMONY SNICKET’S A the happy duo help others Contact: [email protected] Showing at the Union’s own 8.45pm. SERIES OF UNFORTU- MONDAY solve their existential issues, cinema. ELEKTRA (12A) NATE EVENTS (PG) the kind that keep you up at FILM Contact: [email protected] Daily: 2.45pm, 7.20pm. Sat and Sat and Sun only: 11.30am. 31 JANUARY night, wondering what it all ENDURING LOVE Sun only: 12.30pm. THE INCREDIBLES (U) means. 6pm A VERY LONG ENGAGE- Sat and Sun only: 10.10am. CLUBS AND SOCIETIES Showing at the Union’s own Union Concert Hall MENT (15) HOUSE OF FLYING ENGINEERS WITHOUT cinema. £3 ALL WEEK Daily: 5.20pm, 8.10pm. Sat to DAGGERS (12A) BORDERS PLACEMENT Contact: [email protected] Two strangers become dan- Thurs: 1.50pm. Fri and Sat only: 11.45pm. LAUNCH gerously close after witness- FILMS: VUE CINEMA, CLOSER (15) GARDEN STATE (15) Room 342, Mechanical UNION EVENTS ing a deadly accident. FULHAM BROADWAY Daily: 1.30pm, 4pm, 6.30pm, Fri and Sat only: 11.20pm. Sat engineering department STA TRAVEL QUIZ NIGHT Showing at the Union’s own Student discount ALL WEEK 9pm. Fri and Sat only: 11.30pm. and Sun only: 11.30am. 6–8pm 8–10.30pm cinema. MEET THE FOCKERS Sat and Sun only: 11am. ELLA ENCHANTED (PG) This summer, Engineers Beit Quad Contact: [email protected] (12A) TEAM AMERICA – Sat and Sun only: 11.45am.

Felix 16 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Music [email protected] Doves’ new Blunt in Brick Lane single gets He’s supported Elton John as his first full band gig, fought in Kosovo, a thorough and dedicated songs about sex and drugs to his gran

(including me passing comment at going over; LIVE REVIEW James’s incredible voice!) Despite his enthusiasm for the James Blunt support act, Luane Parle was lit- Ambulance 93 Feet East tle more than a Shania Twain trib- HHHHI ute band; just not my cup of tea. But it wasn’t long until James, with Ltd get My brother said: “You’ll know you’re his drummer going mental in the there when someone approaches background, let rip with new song you offering curry”. It’s almost a Dancing Days before introducing trashed package deal: curry and live music himself and offering his services on Brick Lane. But it wasn’t the for Bar Mitvahs and threesomes. curry that did it for me – singer- The set then started properly with SINGLE REVIEWS songwriter James Blunt is an awe- brilliant album opener and current some new talent and a really nice single High. Doves guy too. Sadly the dodgy acoustics com- James Blunt: heartmeltingly good-looking. Damn him Black And White Town We were there to interview James bined with much chat at the back (Heavenly) and to confirm he is every bit as (no, it wasn’t me this time) let the best until last, James finished some top-class lyrics which, com- HHHII good live as his debut album Back James down during No Bravery, a up with You’re Beautiful, a truly bined with acoustic brilliance and an To Bedlam. On his sell-out band song written during and about his pretty song about an ex-girlfriend, amazing voice, leave me begging for Those expecting another Pounding residency at 93 Feet East (running time serving in Kosovo. (We asked followed by Wisemen, my personal more. Watch out for Wisemen to be so to speak, be disappointed. Doves on three consecutive Wednesdays), to see the bullet-ridden guitar but it favourite. Then, all too soon, it was released on 7 March, but if, like me, have obviously realised that dance James modestly told us he has a suffered an unfortunate motorbike home time. you can’t wait, go out and get the music is dead and now want to do ‘big family’, but it’s not true. The accident in front of the EMI bosses.) He’s been compared to Damien album – it won’t leave your stereo their part in reminding people why venue was packed, both with the However, there was no stopping the Rice, Van Morrison, and Counting in a hurry. it died. public school types he grew up with crowd joining in with So Long Jimmy Crows; that’s some list, but James To hear the interview, download The early nineties semi-Italian at Harrow School, and the usual die- and I got all excited with second new Blunt deserves the association. His the 17 January NSUAOSATOC show house piano is a nice touch but hard fans who scorn anyone who song I Really Want You – I can bare- rather unconventional route into from www.icradio.com. only serves to irritate after a while. dare utter a word during the set ly wait for his new album. Saving the music industry is reflected in Lucy Smith Luckily they try to over-shadow such an obvious mistake by putting in fuzz-laden guitars all over the place alongside an up-tempo rock beat. Of course, lead singer Jimi tries his hardest to cover it up with Ch-ch-ch-check it out his trademark Manc mope and at times the track feels compelling and Mixmaster Mike found fame as The Beastie Boys’ resident DJ; on this, even worthy of dancing to. But as you begin to forgive the elements of mediocrity and lack of any sig- his solo outing, he heads back to old school hiphop nificant idea to latch onto, a wimpy guitar solo makes an appearance. hits such as Intergalactic, and the old movies and news stories to cre- main mixes give a blend of trippy And when I mean wimpy, I mean ALBUM REVIEW recent screeching rhythm for the ate his unique warped audio comic beats and attention-grabbing bursts taken from the You Can Play Blues Beastie’s latest album To The Five strip. Elements of B-movies, Star of quick screeching; they pierce the Guitar Too 3 handbook wimpy. Must Mix Master Mike Boroughs. Also a stand-alone DJ, Trek and various tales of spacemen airwaves and demand your atten- try harder! Matty Hoban Bangzilla here he presents his latest solo are all present, though unfortunate- tion, similar to the beat Mike used (Immortal) work, Bangzilla. ly there’s no Dr. Who. in the recent Beastie Boys hit, Ch- HHHHI The whole album is a nostalgic Beginning with Trigger Man, a Check It Out. You’re always kept Ambulance Ltd throwback in two respects. First chorus of violins and dodgy trumpets on your toes due to the changing Stay Where You Are Most of you have probably heard it takes the eighties approach to straight out of any fifties sci-fi movie rhythms and samples, such as the (Tvt) Mixmaster Mike’s work before, even hip-hop (think earlier acts like breaks down into a moody beat com- sudden breakout into foreign pop on IIIII if you have no idea who he is. As M.A.R.R.S.), throwing together plete with ‘red alert’ alarms, a rum- Marvel, or the conclusion to MJ-12 the long term collaborator with the quickfire samples to create a jumpy bling bass line and Mike’s traditional Strike, when swirling violins provide Yeah but why? Just why? There’s Beastie Boys, his DJing provided beat. And secondly, the album is manic scratching. From then on, the a backdrop to a shootout. no need. Ambulance Ltd are indie the addictive beats for widespread centred on a sci-fi theme, sampling samples come thick and fast. The The strengths of the album, how- made boring to the extreme. These ever, also provide its weaknesses. pale-faced bedwetters are afraid to As it is essentially a quick fire sam- make their song Stay Where You ple album, there are several dull- Are do anything. I can’t believe that ing moments where the continuing someone would fund the release of scratching and sample-changing this. I mean, it’s not offensive, it’s start to grate. In some places the not really unpleasant, but it’s not album needs a bit more substance, something that should have been perhaps requiring a leaf out of DJ released as a single. It consists of Shadow’s book with an attempt one long verse. at using the samples to create a Ambulance Ltd will probably melody; or inviting in his old pals next be seen supporting Embrace to provide some lyrics to go along in your local pub when the world with the mix. It’s a weakness that realises what a mistake their latest rarely occurs though, and you’re left comeback was. Stay Where You Are with a mostly solid hip-hop album, is like one of those instrumental demanding constant attention until filler tracks on albums by genius the very last beat with its addictive post-metal bands like Oceansize, or pace and unique sound structure. recent Radiohead albums, that you Finally, it’s refreshing to see that cherish because the previous song in the age of sixth form poetry and made your brain leak out of your a polarised music industry, we can ear. The previous song I listened still get an album that doesn’t take to was the Fierce Girl single. And itself too seriously. I mean – why I still think this track is awful. Go else would you call it Bangzilla? figure. James Millen The Beastie Boys: I know it’s not Mike, but they look so damn cool Matthew Hartfield Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 17

MUSIC [email protected] I love rock ‘n’ roll General Khaki, featuring Tommy Mack of our very own (sadly departed) The Shakes, bring us their new demo

promoting opening shot Give Us (Hope Of The States) impression really loud noise. In short, I was DEMO REVIEW The Bullets And We’ll Shoot The SINGLE REVIEWS when he spits condemnation upon expecting it to be awesome. Guns, a garage-punk frenzy deliv- our generation: “What will you tell But oh dear no. It’s actually two ered with seriousness and army- Agent Blue your children’s children when they chavs singing about other chavs, General Khaki Children’s Children Good Guys And Bad Guys march style drums timed to preci- ask where have their homes gone? / and being general obnoxious chav sion by Daniel Mack. Endearing to MCA Will you tell them you lit the fires?” bastards over crap chavvy dance the end, the ironic yet ska-tinged HHHHI The music never feels stagnant beats. I bravely put on my investi- With the Brits only weeks away, the Animal displays the Khakis’ more and resembles Bloc Party in its gative journalist hat and Googled musical silly season is thankfully flippant slower side, with kooky lyr- At the end of the day, truly great driving and climactic guitar them. When asked in an interview as coming to an end. Say goodbye to ics to put a smile on both the listener music can either be put down to its dualism. It may feel predictable at to what was currently floating their last year’s tedium (more common- and Lance Bombardier Kat Stevens’ context or its timelessness. Music turns but that’s only because you’re boat, they listed “Tanya Turner, The ly known as Roosta, Kasabian and face. that may not stand the test of time hearing what you want to hear: Cock, Marlboro Lights, Peaches, Keane) and say hello to London’s Good Guys And Bad Guys is the may be great purely because it inspired music by individuals with a Lucy Liu, Burberry, Bad Girls, Vin hottest live act, the brilliant General band on top form: catchy, dance- saved everyone’s life from Travis message. Matty Hoban Diesel, Horsemeat Disco, any kind Khaki. able and taking a well-deserved pot- and inspired a generation to back of beer, White Van Men, Aaliyah, but Formed from the ashes of General shot at Dubya and his futile war on away from the acoustic guitar. Right most of all... Kat Slater.” They are Tommy Mack’s previous outfit, The Islam: “You can tell a bad guy with a now, we’re truly in the middle of an Fierce Girl even worse than suggested by the Shakes, General Khaki are a force to beard and a moustache, he likes to amplified music scene with every- What Makes A Girl Fierce? NME, who (thinking that this was be reckoned with, offering the most ride a camel and he likes to smoke one picking up guitars and shout- Red Flag a compliment) described them as original and compelling take on hash.” The EP is rounded off with ing the immortal lines of Art Brut: IIIII a mix between Fischerspooner and garage rock since the White Stripes. the fantastic Stone Roses inspired “Look at us! We formed a band!” The Streets. Unholy. With influences ranging from the Swagger, the track to epitomise But wonderful bands such as the I picked up this record because it I looked at the video and it was the Clash to Captain Beefheart and the what rock and roll should be – irrev- Futureheads also follow the tire- said “Horny Pony” on the front. I’m two skinheads who make up Fierce Beach Boys, General Khaki deliver erent, sexy, brooding and command- some likes of The Others. So which yet to work out why; I think it may be Girl waving their hands aggressively their most captivating introducto- ing, whilst letting the listener have category do Stoke-on-Trent’s Agent their PR company. With a name like at the screen for three minutes and ry message with immense wit at an excellent time. Blue fall under? If this single is any- Fierce Girl, I was expecting shonky 33 seconds. This is the soundtrack to breakneck speed. “Show us your swagger” and thing to go by then they could soon Camden indie whores with too much you getting knifed. And I’m guessing Their live demo, comprising seven General Khaki will show you the be up there with the best of them. eye makeup and little or no knowl- that that is not a pleasant occur- minutes of pure sonic assault, way. Take the draft at www.gener- Singer Nick Andrews does a nice edge of how a guitar works, except rence, but then again neither is this starts with the General’s self- alkhaki.com. Sajini Wijetilleka Joe Strummer via Sam Herlihy that when you do this it makes a record. James Millen Felix 18 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Nightlife [email protected] DJ Marky and friends

DJ Marky (centre) and friends Dynamite MC (left) and Giles Peterson (right)

up to attract the maximum number Fresh from his recently released smiles and good feeling all around. could do nothing but look on in awe CLUB REVIEW of paying customers. This evening, solo album, the Reprazent front man Away from the main room, Bugz as the entire crowd erupted. Marky and friends had taken mat- had raps to burn. Unfortunately we in the Attic were hosting the lounge As the set rolled on, things were DJ Marky and friends ters into their own hands. had missed out on Giles Peterson’s and their broken beats provided a getting progressively nasty tune- The End Our touchdown was slightly later performance, but the reports were fitting respite from the high tem- wise. Needless to say, the heinous HHHHI than anticipated, and it was imme- healthy. Meanwhile, Marky was pos elsewhere. Recently crowned sub-section of Logistics’ Together diately evident that it was going coming seriously correct with his ‘Worldwide Winners of 2004’ on Giles bust up the place and left the audi- Another Friday night, another SICK to be a busy night. The guestlist tune selection. The longer set made Peterson’s Radio 1 show, one might ence pleading for the rewind. Marky line up at the End. Tonight, the queue was bursting at its seams, for a deep and diverse assortment have expected this room to have seemed to be relishing the extra menu had a Brazilian twist – namely whilst the regular line had wrapped – early highlights included a slice of packed out. In truth, however, it time, allowing him to build up a an exclusive DJ Marky four hour itself around the full length of West Calibre’s beautiful Hypnotize, a dol- seemed the majority of the masses structured performance through set. Marky’s epic sets have taken Central St. Once inside, drinks were lop of Die’s funked out Jitta Bug and had come for the man from Brazil. the night. on legendary status in his home city purchased and a quick scan towards a very rare outing for Roni’s 1998 When Marky first burst onto the Perhaps the success of this event of Sao Paolo, but this was to be the the DJ booth revealed a familiar anthem Breakbeat Tera. DJ circuit in this country, it was his will sway promoters towards longer UK’s first taste of an extended ses- figure at the controls – the Marky Even though his set was long fin- wild scratching and cutting tech- set times on a regular basis. If not, it sion with the Brazilian deck-wizard. showcase was already in effect. ished, Giles P could evidently not niques that really caught people’s might be time to start saving for that Set times have become a bone As we hit the floor, we were greet- bear to tear himself away. Hanging attention. Back in the main room, we plane ticket to Sao Paolo. of contention in the drum & bass ed by the sublime sounds of MC around to share jokes with Dynamite were given an excellent reminder of scene of late, with Andy C and the Conrad’s Golden Girl, a tune that is and Marky whilst getting down with what the fuss was about. Playing a File under: rest of the D’n’B premier league deservedly causing a storm on the the sounds, it was clear that the record composed of nothing but a Jazzy drum & bass, Liquid funk requesting longer slots to showcase scene at present. Soulful and heavy night’s title ‘DJ Marky and friends’ continuous tone, the Brazilian won- If you like this, try: their music. However, club promot- in equal measure, this was to epito- was not just a cynical marketing der proceeded to chop it to shreds Movement @ Bar Rumba, Swerve ers remain reluctant, preferring to mize Marky’s four hour onslaught. ploy. The nice atmosphere was not on the cross-fader, using the pitch @ The End opt for safety in numbers, ie pack- Dynamite MC was in full swing, run- restricted to the DJ booth, and the control to match it to the tune play- Anthony Roberts & ing all the big names on one line- ning the show in his inimitable style. tight laser displays illuminated ing in the background. Dynamite Joseph Bull

The wild crowd, DJ Marky and Dynamite MC show their appreciation for one another Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 19

NIGHTLIFE [email protected] House for your Hed, Kandi for your eyes

The dance floor was rammed by music you will be letting yourself on, you forget all about some of the CLUB REVIEW 10.30 and although it was meant to “Pure and utter in for at an event like this. Pacha not-great mixing. have been a quiet night for clubbing is spread over two rooms – the This is another thing with Hed Hed Kandi after the expense of Christmas, it gorgeous main room was all about deep disco Kandi – you don’t just get a DJ, you Pacha, Terminus Place, Victoria didn’t show. People were queuing house, and upstairs was dark, sexy get a bit of live action as well. I’ve £20 around the side of the building at fabulousness” and dirty. OK, Hed Kandi lacks a never seen people get so excited HHHHH 9pm, an hour before the event even are unfamiliar with the world out- little in terms of perfect mixing and over the sight of a slightly bearded started. side their bedroom, calculator and timing, but the crowd doesn’t care. fat man thrashing about and a girl For those of you who don’t know, For such a popular event, the door recent issue of Star Trek Weekly. They sing along at any opportunity and her horn. It was so good that Hed Kandi it is one of the fastest staff were surprisingly welcoming If you own a Hed Kandi album, they can and as soon as Pav, the per- at one point the DJ stopped and growing house labels. If you go to and unstressed. One guy told me you will have an idea of the type of cussionist, and Laura on sax come the crowd leapt and cheered to the any Hed Kandi event, you can see this was a piece of piss compared sounds of a sax and a set of bongos. why – it’s special. There are other to the launch of their new album I think the phrase I heard most words I could use, but most couldn’t before Christmas. throughout the evening was “this is be printed, so let’s just say it was fucking fantastic”. good. “Everyone should go I won’t spoil it too much for those It’s not just about the music, it’s intending on going to the next Hed the whole atmosphere of every before they die or Kandi event, but I can say you had event, be it at El Divinos in Ibiza or better dust off your disco rags as Bed in Sheffield. You are provided become too it’s about going to a sexy venue, with a live act, dancers, entertain- being sexy and dancing to the best ers, an amazing environment... and unattractive” sexy music. I loved it and can highly this is before the crowd comes in recommend it. In fact, I don’t just and it really goes off. Once inside, the club looked like recommend, I insist that everyone Each time is an extremely pleas- the sexiest person on earth had just should go before they die or become urable experience leaving you ful- exploded, covering the place in pure too unattractive. Just have a look at filled in every way. It’s on a par with and utter gorgeous fabulousness. some of the pictures to see what I the first time you discover mastur- One thing to understand about any mean. bation. Come on girls, don’t act like Hed Kandi event is that it’s like you don’t do it as well. being at a fashion show. It is essen- File under: This was the first time for me tial to look good and when you get Deep house, funky house to go to Pacha, and having been a inside you can see why everyone is If you like this, try: regular at most Hed Kandi events so damn sexy. Saturday Sessions @ Ministry of here and abroad, I had high expec- I can understand this may be a bit Sound, City Loud @ Turnmills tations and I wasn’t disappointed. daunting, as some Imperial students An attractive young lady and a man in a dress. Need I say more? Aaron Mason

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Arts [email protected] Ice princesses and plot failures Turandot is back on stage at Covent Garden. Puccini’s classic continues to deliver

Turandot how she is prepared to die G. Puccini, Turandot for her love if it will give him happi- Royal Opera ness, she then kills herself. Timur February 1, 5, 7 is distraught; Calaf only gives her Royal Opera House, WC2 sacrifice a few moments of his time before he continues his wooing of After the excitement of my last trip the woman of no redeeming quali- to the opera (that would be the time ties, Turandot. Evidently there will when we went to hear Bryn Terfel’s be another crisis before following on Wotan and ended up seeing him to a relatively happy ending where mime to Donald MacIntyre’s ren- love has conquered even Turandot’s dition of the role from the orches- impressive ego issues. tra pit), this was somewhat more Unlike the Ring cycle, this is a sedate. much more traditional production, As always, we went to the Royal where the scenery and the cos- Opera House, (I know, I should prob- tumes as well as the action have ably try to get some variety, but I been designed to fit with the peri- can’t help it, I am a creature of habit od in which the opera is supposed and the routine we have for our eve- to take place. The production is nings at the opera works so well), already 20 years old, having being this time to enjoy some Puccini. premiered at the Los Angeles opera The royal opera is currently in the in 1984. Unlike the production of middle of a run of performances A poster for the opera Turandot, Saint-Saens’ Samson et Dalila from of the composer’s legendary work, from the 1920s. Note the lack of approximately the same period that Turandot. Asian facial features graced the stage at Covent Garden For those of you less familiar with last year, this production has aged the works of Puccini, here’s a brief riddle’s defeat by Calaf, she tries to really rather well. While Samson et synopsis of the action; for those of beg her father to let her renege on Dalila looked dated, Turandot still you who are more aware of Puccini’s her promise to marry the man that looked creative and visually strik- plots I’m sure you’ll recognise his solves the riddles, but the emperor ing. general disregard for watertight tells her to stop whining. Calaf, in Overall, the opera was enjoyable storylines. his eternal stupidity, offers Turandot – the music is wonderfully melodic a deal: he will gladly be executed if and there are so many wonderful “Whatever the she can find out his name by dawn. arias in the score that you would Turandot uses her power to force really have to try hard to massa- failings of Puccini’s her subjects to search high and low cre it. There are essentially two for the stranger’s name; Calaf sits casts – for the principal roles of plots, they never fail gloating that at dawn he will win Calaf, Liu and Turandot there are the woman of his dreams in the two singers each. I had the pleas- to move you” infamous Nessun Dorma aria. The ure of seeing Vladimir Galouzine, reverie is broken up as townspeo- Andrea Gruber and Hei-Kyung Turandot is the cruel daughter ple and imperial guards try eve- Hong as Calaf, Turandot and Liu. of the Chinese Emperor who has rything to force him to give up his As an ensemble they were good, decreed that she will only marry name, including threatening Timur however, the real star of the show The composer Giacomo Puccini, pictured here in 1923, a year before his the man who can solve her three and Liu. This is where Calaf really was Hei-Kyung Hong. She was spec- death. Turandot, his last opera, was left unfinished riddles. Any man who takes up the proves his worthlessness; Liu sings tacular, both technically and theatri- challenge and fails is to be behead- another beautiful aria explaining to cally. Galouzine unfortunately had no dynamic range, his only dynamic failings of Puccini’s plots, they ed. The story begins in a crowd being forte, and Gruber managed to never fail to move you. Liu’s tragi- before the execution of one unfor- avoid conveying any of Turandot’s cally unappreciated sacrifice is tunate failure; among the crowd potentially redeeming qualities; her heart rendering, Cio-Cio-San’s bro- are Calaf, Timur and Liu. Timur, voice was harsh, and during her ken heart in Madama Butterfly will the blind and very fragile deposed aria where she explains why she shatter yours in a thousand pieces king of an undisclosed kingdom, has has enforced the ‘solve them or die’ and Mimi’s final moments are drip- been travelling in search of a new policy with respect to the riddles, ping in pathos. Of Puccini’s seven life guided by Liu, a faithful former she failed utterly to convince that full-length opera’s, here I’m defin- slave of the royal household who her character had any humanity or ing that as being more than one secretly loves Calaf, the king’s son that indeed her reasons for her deci- Act in duration, only one ends hap- whom they had presumed dead. sion had any grounds at all. pily, La Fanciulla Del West, and In what is possibly one of the My only complaint about the pro- the rest will have you in tears. In most stupendous coincidences in all duction itself is about the stage direc- a rather Puccini-laden season at opera, Calaf and Timur are reunited tions given to Turandot. Whenever the Royal Opera, there are many within the first ten minutes of the she was to make an important point, opportunities to go and get thor- score. Following the touching reun- she was made to raise her arms and oughly depressed. Up-coming ion, Turandot makes her first appear- spread them and then to stick her works include Madama Butterlfy ance to confirm that the execution is head forward; the effect was rather and La Boheme. La Boheme should to take place, Calaf is reviled by comical. Instead of looking authori- be spectacular, with the role of Mimi her lack of mercy and compassion, tative she just looked like a vulture, being shared by Angela Gheorghiu but then he sees her from afar and and the constant repetition did not and Liping Zhang, two sopranos instantly falls in love with her. Calaf help make any point whatsoever. with very different styles but with now must have Turandot, and so I realise that some of my com- equally stunning voices and stage takes up the challenge of the riddles ments have tended towards the neg- presences. with a complete disregard for what ative, but let me reassure you that For details of all upcoming Puccini impact his possible failure could an evening spent at Covent Garden operas at the Royal Opera House, as have on his already very ill father. at a performance of Turandot will well as works by many other com- Liu’s pleadings, which take the form not be a wasted one. Despite his posers, go to their website www.roh. of a spectacularly touching aria, fall uni-dynamical style, Galouzine does org.uk. Here you will also find infor- on deaf ears. do a good job with Nessun Dorma, mation about the ballet and book- As can be expected, the riddles and Hong is stupendous. One can ing details. For those of you prefer- are no match for our hero’s superior only hope that Cellia Rose does a ring opera in English, the English intellect. Preceding the unveiling of comparable job in the role of Liu National Opera would be the place the riddles, Turandot has her turn Romanian soprano Angela Gheorghiu. Gheorghiu will return to Covent as she takes over for the last three to go. Their website is www.eno.org. to sing her heart out as she explains Garden in the role of Mimi in Puccini’s La Boheme, which she will performances. Paola Smith why she is so cruel. Following her share with the equally fabulous Chinese soprano Liping Zhang One final remark: whatever the Arts Editor Felix Thursday 27 Januray 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 21

Books [email protected] A manual for saving the world Andya Primanda finds out how can we use the demise of historical civilisations to prevent our doom

the Caribbean island of Hispaniola their environments just unsuitable Collapse reminds us to take the Collapse: How societies with differing governmental atti- to support civilization. The case of environmental and population choose to fail or survive tudes towards the environment; societies that lived on Greenland problems seriously if we want to by Jared Diamond and the environmental problems of would dispel this argument. The be survivors. Some reappraisal of (Allen Lane, Hardcover) China and Australia. Greenland Norse chose to live core values would also be necessary, HHHHI Human societies, past and as farmers inkeeping with their because some societies made envi- present, always have a major impact European identity, and perished ronmentally destructive decisions Here is a book foretelling doom. on their environment. Some parts of because their choice was unsuit- for the sake of those values. Also, It warns us of a possible impend- the world are more environmentally able in Greenland; while the Inuit with a globalized world, countries ing disaster, in which society would fragile than the others, and if the mastered the appropriate survival are becoming increasingly interde- break down, governments would pressure caused by human activi- techniques and survived until today. pendent, and a collapse anywhere fall, and people would be pushed to ties on any such region is too large, The environment might put pres- in the world would affect everyone. the limit and start killing and even its life-sustaining ability would sure on the society, but the people Diamond summarized twelve main eating each other. In fact, all those break down, as would the socie- can decide what to do about it. environmental problems that we events had been the fate of some ty that depends on it. Diamond’s Environmental activists some- must tackle if we want to survive: societies before ours, and we might examples show that some societies times point their fingers at big destruction of natural habitats; be on our way there. failed to anticipate environmental businesses as the main perpetra- overfishing; biodiversity loss; soil Written in the analytical histo- crises and continued with whatever tors of environmental destruction. erosion; depletion of fossil fuels; ry style of his earlier work Guns, they had been doing for years, oblivi- Diamond offers his own experi- depletion of freshwater; exhaustion Germs and Steel, Jared Diamond ous to the destruction they would ence of involvement with several of global photosynthetic capacity; gives an account of the successes bring until the consequences turned big extractive companies, and while toxic chemicals; alien species; glo- and failures of several societies in up. Sometimes the insulation of some are outright destructive, there bal warming; population growth; facing environmental crises that elites from problems encountered are also big businesses that adopted and overconsumption (Imperial stu- threatened their means of surviving by commoners can end up in bad failures. Several societies, like the rigorous conservation practices. dents from various disciplines might in Collapse. Easter Islanders, the decisions; like Easter Island chiefs Tikopians and New Guinea high- The companies realise that invest- want to pick one most familiar to Mayan civilization, the Anasazi and that kept on erecting statues and landers, adopted a bottom-up ing and practising conservation is them and start doing something). the Greenland Norse colony suc- Mayan kings bent on attacking each approach, with individuals actively profitable in the long-term interest It is a Herculean task indeed, but cumbed to those crises, while the other, oblivious that their subjects doing things to ensure that they of their business: they would avoid Jared Diamond describes his own people of Tikopia, New Guinea high- were suffering from environmental could sustain the quality of their the potential costs of cleaning up stance as that of a ‘cautious opti- landers, and Tokugawa-era Japan breakdown. Today we have much environment. Tokugawa, Japan and after accidents and have a more mist’, where he maintains hope that managed to make the right decisions more impact on nature than those the Dominican Republic used a dif- respectable corporate image. The we could pull ourselves through. and survived. Also highlighted are past societies, because of our larger ferent approach: top-down manage- public can influence businesses to The reasons for his hope are that the Malthusian tragedy that mate- numbers and more intensive use ment where a centralized author- be more environmentally friendly these problems are not insoluble, rialized in Rwanda in 1994, where of land and resources. Should we ity dictates effective environmental by knowing where to exert their and we can learn from the success tensions caused by overpopulation start asking ourselves whether we protection measurements. pressure – campaigning against and failure stories of earlier civiliza- exploded into genocide; the contrast might be following their footsteps to Some might think that the col- buying the products of companies tions. There is still hope to save the between deforested Haiti and green destruction? lapsed societies just had the mis- known to harm the environment, for world, and this book could be consid- Dominican Republic, neighbours on However, the book is not all about fortune of being at the wrong place; example. ered a manual of how to do so. Felix 22 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

[email protected] Film Listings: page 13 Jamie Foxx could win an Oscar A man who thought harder and went further than anyone thought possible impresses on a global scale

Ray Evidently his major handicap is not his blindness, but a taste for women Director: Taylor Hackford and heroin. Starring: Jamie Foxx, Demons sprout from guilt about Kerry Washington, Regina King, his brother’s death, or at least that’s Sharon Warren the way Hackford draws it. Unsubtle Length: 152 minutes scenes include Ray knocking des- Certificate: 15 perately on a bathroom door where HHHHH others are getting high, and sudden- ly he’s wading ankle-deep in water. Patching together key events in Later, when going cold turkey, the the life of legendary musician Ray memory becomes a horrific halluci- Charles and peppered with standout nation with water turning to blood. songs, this is a tear-jerking, toe-tap- It may be slightly clumsy but it’s ping biopic that serves as testament done so well. Stylistically this film to the man’s passion and resilience. is amazing – there’s something very Seven-year-old Ray (Foxx) loses old school about it, and some of the his sight two years after watch- scenes are beautifully shot. But the ing his little brother drown, but his major selling point here is Jamie mother Aretha refuses to coddle Foxx. him. Through a somewhat ‘tough love’ approach to parenting, she “You constantly for- forces her son to learn to stand on his own two feet and becomes the get you are watching embodiment of strength throughout his life. Foxx; it is like they The film carries on to tell us about Ray’s rise to fame and how other actually managed to things in his life almost destroyed what he loved the most – his music. turn back the clock” The extraordinary life story of Ray Charles As an adult he is exploited by nearly everybody he meets, but nearly Ray Charles has some pretty king. It is gratifying to know that felt or caused was what made that (Regina King) are all singularly tal- everybody recognizes that he has distinct mannerisms. Foxx takes Mr Charles himself screened the music, and we have to take the good ented and deserve recognition. real talent. In spite of his blindness, Charles’ manner, his personal- film and enjoyed it greatly. He’s a with the bad to get anything so spe- It’s hard to go wrong with a film he seems to be able to function ity, his flaws, his shrewdness, he man whose god was music and who cial. that shows Southern discrimina- almost as if he can see. He cleverly takes it all. You constantly forget filtered God’s music through his It’s a fantastic performance, and tion, sex and drugs, and glues it gets around many problems of the you are watching him; it is like they morally ambiguous life and made the music selections they choose together with the soulful music of blind by using his hearing and his actually managed to turn back the it something special, to which gen- to follow his rises and falls is a Ray Charles. The film is at its best memory. He insists that he be paid clock to Charles’ youth. Foxx really erations have connected. Music is great spread of his work. I don’t showing the roots of the character. only in one dollar bills to avoid the is magnetic. The insanely rich and what Ray Charles is all about, and mean to detract from any of the But the music is fine and is what will danger of being short-changed. But detailed production design doesn’t the music that he made, the impact other performances in the film – please audiences. This is an amaz- he gets along and eventually has hurt, either. that he made, despite all the obsta- the women who play his mother ing and touching film – one in which contracts; first with Atlantic Records This film pulls no punches of van- cles (self-imposed or not), stand the (Sharon Warren) and his wife (Kerry you can actually say the actor truly and then with ABC-Paramount. ity or reverence for the blues-gospel test of time. Any pain he might have Washington) and his major mistress made it great. Haj Alttahir A hot piece of action?

Ladder 49 moving performances and the cast- 49 team will have you laughing ing of Phoenix – not your stereotypi- out loud in your seat, whilst other Director: Jay Russell cally rugged ‘hero’ – adds depth scenes will have the more sensitive Starring: Joaquin Phoenix, and realism to the role. Travolta members of the audience reaching John Travolta, Robert Patrick, gives a flawless performance as the for tissues. Jacinda Barrett firefighting team’s captain, and the There was something about this Length: 98 minutes acting of the supporting cast cannot film, however, that failed to leave Certificate: 12A be faulted either. the mark of a true classic. Perhaps HHIII The movie progresses nicely as it was the fact that, although some we see Phoenix start off as a fresh- scenes were charged with raw emo- Ladder 49 is the film industry’s faced young rookie. Both the plot tion, they sometimes bordered on latest attempt to encapsulate the and the characters are given plenty becoming clichéd. More than that, bravery and heroism of American of time to develop, as you gradually however, is the undeniable fact that firefighters post 9/11. The story fol- firefighting heroics are best suited lows the career of Baltimore fire- “You would not be to the small screen and are really fighter Jack Morrison (Phoenix) not the material of Hollywood block- seen through reflections of his life missing anything if busters. The scenario of a fire can as he lies trapped in a blazing twen- only lead to one logical conclusion ty storey building. you were to wait for from a firefighter’s point of view The film deserves credit for many – saving the people inside the build- good points – Disney have certainly the DVD release” ing and getting themselves out: a made an excellent job of keeping it simple premise that doesn’t leave Shit. That was a good curry focused on the human side of what acquaint yourself with the members the audience guessing. The team being in a firefighting team entails of Ladder 49. either make it or they don’t. and engaging. Not surprisingly, this scenes are memorable and some rather than allowing themselves to Another plus is the interesting Given the difficulty of finding an film grossed some $73m in the US soundbites will stay with you after get carried away with clichéd, over- mix of emotions and genres expe- interesting plot set amongst acci- where it whetted the public’s appe- it has ended, but it also needs to be the-top displays of heroics against rienced whilst watching the movie. dental fires, Disney has done a sur- tite for fire fighting heroics. said that you would not be missing burning backdrops. Both Phoenix Some scenes detailing the sense of prisingly good job of coming up with Overall, it is difficult to find too anything if you were to wait for the and Travolta deliver powerful and camaraderie amongst the Ladder a storyline that is suitably plausible much to fault in this movie. Some DVD release. Marya Ziauddin Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 23

FILM [email protected] Elektra-fyingly good? From the creators of X-Men and Spiderman comes the newest comic book adaptation. How does it fare?

Elektra new friends from other trained kill- ers, some of which possess evil Director: Rob Bowan supernatural powers. Starring: Jennifer Garner, Goran Garner does a brilliant job as the Visnjic, Kristen Prout, Terence Stamp beautiful yet deadly killer. She looks Length: 97 minutes the part and is a dedicated actress Certificate: 12A who carries the film. Let’s face it, HHHII there have been countless films where children have grown up to Since the success of Spiderman in avenge the death of a loved one, but 2002, comic book characters have for some reason (possibly the outfit) been waiting in line for the chance Elektra stands out for me. to leave their pages to seek out Strangely, I grew quite fond of finer things on the big screen, but ‘The Hand’ and their deadly array finally it’s a chick’s turn to kick ass! of assassins, one of whom spread Elektra is back, and this time she’s disease and death through touch going solo. whilst one of the others bore tat- We last saw Elektra at the end toos which came to life. Novel ideas of Daredevil (2003) where she dies indeed. They worked well in the film. in the arms of blind lawyer Matt Unfortunately, they were not utilised Murdock. Having lived a tragic life, enough in terms of screen time, Elektra (Jennifer Garner) is resur- much to my disappointment. rected by a martial arts master who leads the side of good against the “It’s a rare treat for evil forces of ‘The Hand’. Haunted by her past and enraged the ladies to see a by the brutal murder of her mother, not even her sensei’s strict training female kick ass, and and discipline can quench Elektra’s raging thirst for vengeance. Given the lads will love it” One lass you don’t wanna mess with the ability to see shadows of the future, she is more powerful than Elektra is pleasing to the eye in Although Elektra possesses these I left the cinema in a sense of bewil- to the cinema in excitement. Just ever. She becomes an assassin for more ways than just one – not just positive things, I feel the movie derment, as I am sure you will too if walk. Stephen P Smith she has no reason to live, only to Garner, but the film as a whole. The lacked flow since her shadowed past you watch this. kill. lush forest green settings in the kept disrupting the rest of the film However, don’t think for a second Her latest targets are in the form majority of the film are a refreshing in the form of annoying flashbacks. I’m discouraging you from going to Last week’s winners of the of a 13 year old girl, Abby (Kirsten change from the cold rooftops of Necessary as they are, I see no see it. On the contrary, go, and check Elektra competition were: Prout) and her father Mark (Goran New York City. justification to include that many. it out for yourself. Timothy Barber and Matt Ayer Visnjic). However, what she sees in The action scenes are relatively Another contributing factor to let- It’s a rare treat for the ladies to see won the goodie bags; Andrew Abby reminds her of herself and the short and fewer in number than ting the film down was the brief a female kick ass, and the lads will Voak and Jessica Wright won the two form a bond. Having not done expected. However, those that are yet confusing love story between love it since Garner looks amazing. t-shirts. Alan Ng the job she was sent to do, Elektra included are satisfying to watch and Elektra and Mark. I never really Just don’t expect non-stop action. I Film Editor dedicates herself to protecting her well choreographed. caught on to the point or relevance. recommend you don’t all go running A very long French film OUT NEXT WEEK Released on Friday 28 January at A Very Long Engagement The viewers are put through the Vue Fulham Broadway: viciousness of the war, heroism of Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet ordinary men, enduring passion, Starring: Audrey Tautou. Gaspard intuition and persistence of the ● Meet The Fockers Ulliel, Jean-Pierre Becker human heart. The first hour of the Length: 134 minutes movie leaves you with a little confu- ● Assault on Precinct Certificate: 15 sion because of the many names of HHHHI those involved. Gradually though, a 13 picture begins to emerge. Manech (Gaspard Ulliel) is not dead. Audrey Tatou continues to amaze Visit www.myvue.com/student for Manech is not dead, for if he was, the viewers throughout the movie more details. Mathilde (Audrey Tautou) would with her sincerity and natural know. screen presence. Her sadness is Vue Fulham Broadway are giving Based on the novel by Sebastien sometimes heartbreaking. However, you the opportunity to win posters Japrisot, director Jean-Pierre this movie is not only romantic for these new releases. Just answer Jeunet’s A Very Long Engagement but violent. You find yourself being this question: brings out a realistic portrait of war- drawn into the war scenes with each fare set at the close of World War I. bomb blast, due to the vibrations of Who wrote and directed the The movie starts off with five French the sound. original Assault on Precinct 13? soldiers who are sentenced to death There are some very graphic a) John Carpenter due to self-mutilation and are con- scenes which include the image of a b) Kevin Williamson demned to march out into no man’s man covered with guts of a comrade c) Wes Craven land. and spitting some of them out of his It’s 1920 and the war has ended. mouth. Jeunet also adds, with per- Email your answers and which mer- For three years, Mathilde’s beloved fect comic timing, the minor argu- chandise you would like to win to fiancé Manech has been missing. ments between the postman and [email protected]. Usual Felix She refuses to accept the fact that Mathilde’s uncle Sylvain. competition rules apply. Manech died in early 1917 and still Production designer Aline Bonetto, clings on to a thread of hope, with cinematographer Bruno Delbonnel Mathilde’s relentless search for her fiancée Now booking at Vue Fulham the instinct that he is still alive. So and costume designer Madeline Broadway: she begins an investigation, through Fontaine effortlessly make every- lated and are sometimes given an As beautiful, grand and entertain- letters, tracking down official docu- thing feel fully formed and complete- earthy look. What Jeunet really suc- ing as A Very Long Engagement ments and putting ads in newspa- ly realized, especially the two major ceeds is in his amazing visionary of was, it was unnecessarily long. The ● Oceans Twelve pers. This starts her on a journey, landscapes, the trench (wasteland the bittersweet but picture perfect movie could have been cut down Released on Friday 4 February trying to find an answer to the mys- full of blood and mud) and the peace- realistic finale that couldn’t have with some tales, which hardly had tery of her lost love by digging up ful country farm (full of warmth and ended any better, with the voice- anything to do with the mystery, left pieces of information that may lead comfort of home). The colours of the over narration relating the onscreen unsaid. Alan Ng to nothing more that a heartbreak. images in the movie are manipu- action flawlessly. Vidula Vinayagamoorthy Film Editor Felix 24 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Coffee Break [email protected] Hey there Coffee fans! Apologies for the cheesiness of the intro, but this is by far the hardest part of the page to write. Anyway, two things for you to do this week again, and they’re not especially time-consuming for us, or for you. We hope you like them. Answers to [email protected] Close-ups

Hopefully this picture quiz is pretty much Google-proof. We’ve taken some close-ups of iconic album covers, and all you have to do is tell us the artist and the title. There’s a point for each. To give you a clue, there’s one each from the 60s, 70s, 80s and the 00s, and four from the 90s. 1

2 1 2 3 4 3

8 5 6 7 8

Small stories Answers and stuff

Everybody entering Coffee Break a Prisoner of War camp. Some of For those of you who entered, and 1. Oliver Twist Thanks go to Adrian Knight, a seems to know their films. Or at them do. those of you who are intrested, here 2. American Beauty building services engineer working the least, they know how to work 13. A couple go through a process are the answers from issue 1311 3. Dirty Dancing around the college, for that qual- imdb.com properly. We’re going to to remove each other from their 4. 2001 ity slice of randomness. His cat is test you on your knowledge of films memories. Double Vision 5. Top Gun called Felix, you see. Cheers dude. by giving you a very brief descrip- 14. A daddy fish tries to find his son This was the quiz where we mixed 6. ET We’ll see you all next week. tion of the plot from some famous fish. up some famous faces. You couldn’t 7. South Park movies. There’s a point for each film 15. Disaffected males search for really Google this one, which is prob- 8. Dr Strangeglove title you get right. the meaning of life by fighting each ably why nobody got all the answers 9. Tom Hanks FUCWIT LEAGUE other. right! 10. Ewan Mcgregor (in 1. Gang of kids (Plus a weird mon- 1. George W Bush (leader of the Trainspotting) 2004-5 ster) go looking for treasure. free world, he owns your ass) and 11. Simon Pegg (in Shaun of the Smith & Wesson 170 points 2. Timid girl goes to a holiday camp, 1 Oliver Stone (American film direc- Dead) learns to dance. tor, probably hates George) 12. Micheal Caine (in The Italian Management Slackers 127 points 3. Loveable old man fills an island 2 2. Rachel Weisz (The bird from Job) with dinosaurs. The Mummy, not Cher!) and Kelly 13. Bruce Lee (in Enter the Araldite Sniffers 112 points 4. Irresponsible fat man takes care 3 Brook (Super boobs) Dragon) of his sister’s kids. Hilarity ensues. 3. Marlon Brando (legendary 14. Uma Thurman (in Pulp Team Willy J 93 points 5. Grouchy weather man gets 4 actor) and Robert de Niro (legen- Fiction) trapped living the same day, over dary actor) 15. Mark Wahlberg (in Boogie Schoolboy Error 80 points and over. 5 4. Sir Richard Sykes (the Rector) Nights) 6. A witch, some kids and a magic and Thom Yorke (miserable sing- 16. Eugene Levy (in American The Illegitimate Bionic Progeny of bed go on adventures, play football 6 er) Pie) Jeremy Beadle 69 points with a lion, and save the world from 5. Jackie Chan (kung-fu king) Nazis. 7 and Sir Paul McCartney (from The Thanks to everybody who entered, Team Robin 52 points 7. A soldier goes on a journey Beatles) and there’s still time to enter last through Cambodia to kill a freaky 8 6. James Dean (iconic actor) and week’s quiz too. Just email us at Team Bulwer 42 points nutter. Johnny Cash (American music leg- [email protected]. We don’t 8. Guy gets locked up for a crime he 9 end) just want answers though, oh no. The Schist Ones 38 points didn’t commit, makes some friends 7. Cameron Diaz (Princess Fiona Sugestions and comments are in prison, then escapes. 10 in Shrek) and Angelina Jolie (Lara always welcome too. And so are Oliver Carson 29 points 9. Two cops, one young, one a griz- Croft in Tomb Raider) pictures of your pets... zled veteran, attempt to solve seven 11 8. Tom Selleck (moustache king) KPN2 11 points murders. and George Clooney (used to be in 10. Some guys try to rob a bank in 12 ER or something) Natasha Kundi 10 points order to pay for a sex-change operation. It doesn’t go well. 13 Movie Quote Quiz Send in your entries to 11. A film star and a tasty blonde Unsurprisingly, most of you got [email protected] end up as good pals through their 14 all the answers right. Personally, I mutual loathing of the city they’re think you cheated... Special mention There are prizes for the top teams stuck in. 15 must go to The Schist Ones, who at the end of the year! 12. Some guys try to escape from definitely didn’t. Never mind guys! Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 25

COFFEE BREAK [email protected]

Felix Crossword 1313 by Jabberwock

1 2 3 4 5 5 6 7 8 Across Down 1.* The way a traitor can love (8) 1. Cut grass without... without 5.* Charge with possession of feeling deserted out in field heavy Burmese knife (6) (6) 9 10 9. A nation lacking direction 2. Remotely controlled aircraft, afflicted by unknown (again!) starting to descend, emitted malady (8) humming sound (6) 10. Caveat! No point to argue 3. To reboot Windows may be an Greetings, cruciverbovoracists! 11 12 12 about point that’s inane (6) unhappy ordeal (6) I picked this week’s grid remem- 11. Logical quantities, for one, 4. He can provide a lift for duty I bering a certain Financial Times 13 work partially in natural last paid on the Thames, e.g. crossword that I’d found quite dif- deduction system at first (8) (4-6) ficult in my early ‘crossword years’. 13 14 14 12. One wearing masquerade 6. Freemason did produce pre- The grid is quite restrictive in that dress is friar I cannot love (6) cious gemstones (8) the only possible word lengths are 15 16 17 14.* Audibly slow down and duck 7. Danger! It could be an incline six, eight and ten letters. I suppose (10) (8) the difficulty really arises from the fact that most first letters are left 18 19 18.* Olga rewrote letter hastily 8. Greek church found unopened, (10) north of the boatyard, we’re unchecked. 22.* Unusual tabu? Or… (6) told (8) Also note that the asterisked clues 19 20 21 23. …a kind of limit: BA, for 13. Roman poet’s book of epi- contain no definition but are all of a instance, is based at Heathrow grams, perhaps, was a mode type. Good luck! Jabberwock 22 23 (8) of self-defence (7,3) 24. Convent heads observe two 15. It is to love what a coach is to Issue 1312 solution bishops in covered colonnade the horse (8) when returning (6) 16. Sociable but suitable for a 24 25 25 25. A student departs from con- beating? (8) spiratorial group’s base where 17. Nervous about silver I’d 4 may be found (3-5) deposited outside of gallery 26. Critically edits and corrects (8) 26 27 over the internet? (6) 19.* In favour of accepting electric 27. Lazily lose one toy while play- shock treatment (6) ing (8) 20.* Long live the Church! (6) 21. Daughter’s delay may be fatal Last week’s winner is Rachel Farlie. Well done! (6) Send your answers to [email protected] or bring this page down to the Felix office in the West Wing of Beit Quad. Each week, we’ll choose a winner and print their name, thus providing them with almost unlimited kudos and self-satisfaction. Everyone who provides us with a correct solution will get an entry into our prize draw at the end of the year

Felix Thursday 27 January 2005 www.felixonline.co.uk 27

SPORT [email protected] Varsity Day tickets on sale PHOTO: IAN GILLETT By Morten Olesen match, making it an all-day event. All matches apart from Tickets have finally gone the first XV rugby will take on sale across the South place at Imperial’s sports Kensington and Charing ground at Harlington, near Cross campuses for the Heathrow, from lunchtime upcoming Varsity Day. onwards. Students as well as staff are The timetable for kick-off/ strongly encouraged to get push-back is as follows: their tickets as soon as pos- Rugby 2nds and 3rds: 2.15pm sible, as interest will reach Football 1sts and 2nds: 2pm record heights this year. Hockey Game 1: 1pm The event will take place Hockey Game 2: 2.30pm on Wednesday 16 February at Hockey Game 3: 4pm the Imperial College sports Rugby Women’s 7s: 3pm ground at Harlington with The results of the Varsity the main evening rugby game Day competitions will be being played at the Richmond announced at a presentation Athletic Association Ground. at Harlington by the Imperial Named the JPR Williams College Union President and Cup after former Wales full the Imperial Medicals Union back and St Mary’s old boy President before the crowd John Peter Rhys Williams, the are taken to Richmond for main evening rugby game, or the JPR Williams Varsity Cup Varsity Match, has become a Match. great success since it started Three types of ticket are two years ago. The last two available: years have seen closely A £10 advance ticket gives contested matches, with access to ALL games at the Imperial Medicals beat- Harlington as well as the ing the IC side. The match game in Richmond. Included between the two sides this is coach transport from Beit year may well become the Quad to Harlington, from tightest match in the short there to Richmond, and then history of the Cup. back from Richmond to South As reported in Felix last Kensington to finish the night term, the event has been off at the Union in South expanded this year to include Kensington. Action at a lineout during last year’s JPR Williams Cup Varsity Match three men’s rugby matches, A £6 advance ticket for the two men’s football matches, JPR Williams Cup Match have to make their own way Richmond Athletic Ground, port either. travel is the £10 ticket.) two men’s hockey matches, a in Richmond. This ticket to Richmond Athletic Ground giving access to the JPR (Note that the only ticket For more information women’s seven-a-side rugby includes ONLY gate entry. A £7.50 ticket available on Williams Cup Match. Note giving access to the games about the Varsity Day, email match and a women’s hockey Holders of this ticket will the night, at the gate of the this ticket includes no trans- at Harlington and covering [email protected]. Another victory for outstanding Wye

RUGBY been left in the car park in titude of tries in the first 15 superlative skill with some doesn’t play in the scrum! to Death for her “deadly and Wye. Well done for noticing minutes, with notable run- good backs moves orches- The scrum deserves a huge sinister tackling”. Wye Women’s 1st 39 Scummy! The team arrived ning (like a pony) from fly trated by Gobby and more mention for massive effort The last special mention Kings Women’s 1st 20 a massive two hours early for half Gobby and outside centre great running from the and spectacular power in the goes to fresher Alice, who did the 11.30 kick-off. Bendy leaving the opposition wingers. face of what was not an incon- a truly terrible job as photog- By Annie Latham and Things seemed to go from trailing in their wake. Special mentions go to siderable weight difference. rapher and forgot she had Hetty Stearn bad to worse when we real- We gave them a chance freshers Kayleigh and Becky Good work for achieving the camera. (This can only ised our worst fears had after half time when a few for awesome effort in their what appeared to be impos- be blamed on the enthral- Again Wye displayed sheer come true; it was the return tries slipped through the debut game. These two will sible and turning over several ling quality of the game!) She strength, speed and agility, of the Tank! Luckily small defence, but then Wye pow- be forces to be reckoned with scrums! is officially fired from this proving that size definitely things like unconsciousness, ered forward again after in the future. The forwards, especially capacity and next match isn’t everything! and not so small things, we took to heart some apt Flanker Pikey was moved to jumper Spaz, also deserve will be on the pitch. No Despite an early start, the like Tank, were not going to advice from the opposition’s outside centre following some praise for their ever-impres- excuses about injury will be captain eventually woke up stand in the way of Wye mak- scrum half: “Forward, run injuries in the backs. She did sive lineouts. Proper job! accepted. and realised that, while most ing a crashing start to the forward!” an excellent job, though it Players of the match went Next week we take on GKT of the team was en route to game. In the latter part of the sec- took a few minutes before she to Bendy for her massive hits in the cup, and Wye will be out Kingston, winger Kipling had Wye hit Kings with a mul- ond half, Wye again showed realised that the back line and great ball handling, and to marmalize! Rugby Fourths make their debut

RUGBY weakened by two key for- The opposition immediately a further two and converted line-out; however, one smart through two tacklers with wards being pulled up to the responded with a period of one. set play led to Imperial’s sheer determination to touch- LSE Men’s 3rd 48 Thirds and one more pulling pressure, scoring three quick After the interval, Imperial fourth try. down and complete the clean Imperial Men’s 4th 25 out to injury. tries using their pacey backs. endeavoured to re-address At an Imperial scrum on sweep of tries for the fourth Despite being strengthened Imperial countered with the balance with several peri- the LSE 22 metre line, a sud- team new boys. By David Kaye by four brand new players another try, this time from ods of sustained pressure. den change of tactics led Despite the loss, the game turning up on the day, the Terry Scarrott, turning on the Imperial had a play on the Chav Dave to swiftly pick up strengthened the team unit Imperial’s newest sports Filthy Fourths still only had engine to motor past their LSE five metre line turned the ball at number eight and and the tries made by the team ran out to face their 13 players and were forced to helpless defence. A classic over and kicked away, deny- pop round the blind side to four new players provided first university opposition last play uncontested scrums as piece of wing play from a lad ing a much needed oppor- make use of the vast space inspiration for Imperial stu- Wednesday on the back of two they had only one front row who, prior to the game, had tunity. LSE used this rapid that the unaware LSE had dents interested in taking up heavy losses against ‘adult’ player. never even held a rugby ball! gain in possession by winning left. The ball was then given the sport. Anybody interested teams. LSE were immediately Despite the efforts of the the lineout and, after some to number nine, Neil Harris, should contact the club or Confidence was fairly high on the back foot as new boy Imperial side and another hard forward work, forcing who made a powerful run to meet at the Union on Monday as Imperial Thirds had won and later man of the match, weaving run and try from Jon another try. finish on his debut. at 6pm for training. Who against the same team by a Jonathan Woodrow, carved Woodrow, LSE, a well-organ- Set pieces were quite poor The final Imperial try was knows, maybe you could con- comfortable 40 points earlier his way through the defence ised team who have played for the whole game, with scored by the other debutant- tribute to the fourth team’s in the season. The team was for his first of two tries. together much longer, scored Imperial only winning one David Hunter, who fought first win? Felix 28 www.felixonline.co.uk Thursday 27 January 2005

Sport [email protected] King’s overthrown

LACROSSE strong chance of winning the league and everybody wanted Imperial Women’s 1st 17 revenge for King’s previous King’s Women’s 1st 4 whinging and general skul- duggery. By Michelle Maloney Jeanette won the first draw and the ball was swiftly taken First, a little background to down to King’s end (for some the situation: we were meant bizarre reason their goalie to play King’s last term at wasn’t yet on the pitch) but the lacrosse team’s debut at some good defending from Harlington, but King’s turned them sent it back up the other up an hour and a quarter late. way. Imperial were solid with They did not like the decision Annie at Point and Sabrina at that we would take the walko- Cover, yet swift with Hannah ver and spurned our offer of a C and Mary defending on the friendly match. Complaints to wing (like a battering ram on BUSA and cock-ups with fax greased weasel shit). machines resulted in us hav- It was initially a bit sticky ing to rematch at the neutral around midfield, but Caroline ground of UCL. In order to went on one of her trademark patch up the King’s-IC rela- mad dashes and shot a peach tion, a men’s friendly was of a goal. That seemed to spur organised for the same time. the rest of Imperial’s goals- Things did not get off to the coring machine into action best of starts when we turned and two more goals quickly up at Shenley and none of the followed. After some substitu- groundsmen knew that we tions (eating my own weight were coming. Luckily they had in mince pies over Christmas one pitch already set up and may not have been the best so the girls could play their idea) the goals kept coming. BUSA match. Unfortunately, The boys, by this point, had the boys had to make do with gone off to have a men’s train- a football pitch. ing session and mini match. The King’s mixed team had It was quite amusing watch- thrashed us last term and we ing the fear in their eyes as had no idea of the standard the King’s men ‘kitted up’ in of their ladies’ team, so no helmets and pads... but back Young, cold and in with a chance of winning the league: Imperial’s women’s lacrosse team excuses were accepted for to the ladies’ game. absence. The umpire seemed A momentary lack in con- eight goals in one half so can minutes later. players making a run and The match ended 17-4 to slightly confused by our deci- centration from the defence they”, “play as if it is 0-0”, It brought us back to earth shooting at her own goal was us – they should have settled sion to play boundaries but allowed King’s to sneak “we’ve really pissed them with a bump and our play quite amusing though. for a walkover after all. We no restraining lines, but it one in, which was a bit of off now”) but couldn’t dis- picked up again. Caroline, King’s last goal of the match were just finishing the usual suited all the oldies in our a shame; their side of the pel the glee that we were all Mary, Jeanette our goalscor- was again controversial: one jolly hockey sticks hurrah- team just fine. Imperial won umpire’s card was so lovely feeling. Consequently, when ers were numerous... and Ms of their players steamed down ing and hand shaking when the toss (or hide the whistle and clear. we got back on the pitch we Hannah Readman was on fire the pitch ‘through’ Hannah C Tim came over and told us as it seems to have become...) Half time came and it was were not together and Kings with a couple of really sneaky to score. The umpire allowed that one of the King’s boys and we opted to shoot uphill 8-1 to Imperial. Doing our quickly scored. This was not underarm shots. Being in the goal to stand even though had broken his collar bone, so for the first half. I have to best not to get too excited part of the plan. Nor was defence for Imperial was the scorer had smacked would Annie mind (as most say that personally I have and with only minimal them scoring another goal, slightly boring in the second Hannah in the face as she senior medic) coming and never, ever been more nerv- squealing, we regrouped to quite controversially – even part of this half – all of the shot, causing Hannah to bite taking a look at him. Whoops. ous at the start of a Lacrosse discuss tactics. Wise words some King’s players thought play was at the other end. through her lip. Thank good- Still, I think that generally a match – we are in with a were spoken (“if we can get it didn’t go in, a couple of Watching one of the King’s ness for gumshields. fine day was had by all.

Quick Crossword by Fishface

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Across Down 1. Beginning of famous quote from Hamlet 1. Regulator of horse racing in Great (2,2,2,3,2,2) Britain (3,6,4) 8. Period added at the end, in the event of 2. Cricketer’s implement (3) 8 9 a tie (5,4) 3. City in Japan (5) 9. Allow (3) 4. Claw or talon (4) 10. Difficult experience (6) 5. Subject (5) Send your answers to 10 11 12 13 13. See 7 down 6. Lacking awareness (9) 14. Alien spacecraft (1,1,1) 7 and 13 across. Book about punctuation; [email protected] or bring this page to the Felix office in 12 14 15. Young cat (6) best-selling non-fiction of 2004 (4,6,3,6) 16. Male escort (6) 11. Explosive device (9) the West Wing of Beit Quad 15 16 17. __ Baba and the Forty Thieves (3) 12. Involving the moon (5) 18. Distant but within sight (6) 13. System of reasoning (5) Issue 1312 solution 17 20. Undergarment (6) 19. Boredom (5) S U N R O O F D S H S R F 23. Item for sale at auction (3) 21. Shaped like an egg (5) M A O L B C O A T E Q U A 18 19 20 21 24. Reminiscence (9) 22. Abbreviation for ‘assistant’ (4) O U T D O O R H U T U R N 26. A ______is worth two in the bush 25. State of southwestern India (3) K I C B E E T E R P A C T 22 (proverb) (4,2,3,4) E C H O P B U L G A R I A L S D P T S N R E N E E S M I S C H I E V O U S L Y 23 24 25 O R O S E R T A N E N B I U N P R O V E N Y S P U R N N R C R L L I G Y H L I T R A M P/E R L E O P A R D 26 Thanks and apologies to Alex Khalifa, who pointed out the mistake in last week’s Quick Crossword. E G N I M G E M O N S A E The answers were meant to be ‘Theorems’ and ‘Tramp’, but they didn’t intersect properly. Sorry! D O O O S T R U N N E R S