President's Mmessage
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November 2002 Inside this Issue ❖ Creative Intelligence Cheat Sheet ❖ Editor’s Corner ❖ New Members ❖ November General Meeting ❖ President’s Message President’s Message ❖ PSMA Luncheon Summary- October 2002 n an unbearably hot day in August I received a call from a former colleague. Could I possibly assist her former secretary in her job search? She likes to work the midnight O ❖ Some Tips On Enhancing shift. I've had difficulty recruiting for this particular role in the past. Someone in TLOMA must have a need. I recall my recent career move and the people who were generous with Credibility their time and encouragement. You can't always pay back, but you can pay-it-forward. So, I take out the TLOMA list looking for contact information. I must respect the privacy of ❖ TLOMA Conference TLOMA members so I can't give out any information, but I can make a couple of calls. Debt paid. Schedule of Events Next, I open my first, post September 11th commercial insurance renewal and gasp at the premium increase. I study the four-page explanation, which amounts to a recom- mendation to increase future budgets because higher costs are here to stay. It occurs to November 27 - HR SIG me that someone from the insurance industry might be a good speaker for TLOMA in December 6 - Social the coming year. December 9 – Technology SIG Now I'm moving on to my projects, with my first being the firm brochure. More phone calls and emails to collect a few samples to see what the recent styles and trends are. January 7 – Executive Meeting January 14 – Finance SIG Moving down the list of projects, I look at the due date for our group insurance renew- al and note that I will have the TLOMA, Salary and Benefits Survey in time to bench- January 16 – General mark our coverage before the negotiation starts. January 21 – Facilities SIG By now you will have gathered the theme of my missive. TLOMA is a valuable January 30 – HR SIG resource. Members who choose to participate in running the association get a lot out of the experience and participate in helping to keep TLOMA healthy for our future ben- efit. Why not consider getting involved next year? It really is quite manageable and you won't regret it. Carole Paskin Single issue: $5.00 President Yearly Subscription: $25.00 Director of Operations Torkin Manes HOW TO ENJOY HOLIDAY STRESS EDITOR’S CORNER harles Dickens began A Tale of Two Cities, with the line, "It Season's Greetings to all, whether you celebrate any Cwas the best of times, it was the worst of times." Paraphrased one of winter festivities. This is a busy time for every- for the holiday season, it could read, "I can't wait for Christmas - to one - at home, at work and at play. I hope everyone finds a few moments to relax and enjoy themselves at be over!" some point. December can be a delicious time of year, or extremely stressful This issue contains articles/excerpts from two of our and depressing. Whatever holiday you observe, it's hard to not be conference presenters, Mr. Robert Maister and Dr. affected by the hoopla and activity of the festive season. David Posen, for which we thank them. I also wish to thank any of our other contributors. Writing articles of interest is what makes our TLOMA Today a valuable Even though I grew up in the Jewish tradition and celebrated reference tool for our members. Hanukkah, I got to experience Christmas by marching in three Santa Claus parades, spending two Christmas Eves in Bethlehem We have also included (for our members) Association's and frequently sharing parts of Christmas with friends. I also got to financial reports. Thank you to our responsible execu- see Christmas through the eyes of my patients. I have come to tive members for this year-end reporting. If you have any questions with respect to these reports, please con- understand the stress, exhaustion, mixed feelings and even anguish tact our Treasurer or President, directly. All contact that can arise at this time of year. information is on the final pages of this newsletter. Another order of business is our much discussed Where Does Holiday Stress Come From? and What Can We do Listserve usage. We have included (for our members's review and reference) our recently clarified Listserve to Better Manage It? rules. These rules are in place to protect our associa- tion and each and every individual member of TLOMA. 1. Unrealistic Expectations Please refer to them carefully, respect and adhere to The perfect Christmas is an illusion. And the quest for perfection is them. This is in the best interest of everyone in our guaranteed to end in frustration and disillusionment, because noth- association and within our firms. Our TLOMA execu- ing will measure up. Some people have mythical ideals about the tive is investigating ways in which our members can meet other members of firms of a similar size so that holiday season, or gilded memories where everything seemed to networking can successfully occur. In any event, we have been warm and wonderful. Then they try to recreate the feel- must all recognize and respect the confidentiality of the ing of remembered Christmases. But these images are often more information we have in our firms. romanticized than real. TLOMA will be holding a SIG on the new Privacy Act in 2003 in an attempt to provide education and guid- Don't compare this year's Christmas with past years or idealized ance in this regard. We will continue to monitor the use standards from books and popular movies. This is not a competition of the Listserve and notify individually anyone who con- or a contest. Don't try to make every Christmas "the best ever." Just travenes the Listserve rules. Please support our take it as it comes and enjoy it on its own terms. Association in this quest for shared knowledge in a highly ethical environment. Similarly, you don't have to create the kind of Christmas you had as I hope you enjoy this issue and find something of value a child. Start new traditions and create new memories for your own for yourself. I hope to see you at the December 6th children. One of my former nurses developed a ritual of making a Social. Best wishes for the upcoming season! gingerbread man for each family member the night before Christmas, and everyone got a new pair of pyjamas to open on Christmas Eve. Another family has a tradition of going to church on Christmas Eve and then coming home to watch a holiday movie. They rotate among "A Muppet Christmas Carol", "The Santa Clause" and "Miracle on 34th Street". In years past, when I joined friends for Christmas, I liked reading Dylan Thomas's poem, "A Child's Christmas in Wales," as my contribution to their tradition. Another unrealistic expectation is trying to please everyone or to do everything for everybody. This is especially a trap for women who are socialized to meet the needs of others. The fact is you can't please everyone, you can't do it all, and you can't be all things to all Audrey Isenor people. So take that burden off your shoulders. Don't tie yourself Director of Human Resources into a Christmas wreath trying to meet these expectations. Lerners LLP Continued on page 3 www.tloma.on.ca 2 November 2002 Legal Assistants • Law Clerks Support Staff • Temps Contact ZSA Support Services to find out how we can help you find the support you need. Carolyn Berger [email protected] Sharyn Linds [email protected] Carla Ford-Willis [email protected] Suzanne Kolev [email protected] Tel: (416) 368-2051 Fax: (416) 628-7435 www.zsa.ca Avoid perfectionism. The house doesn't have to be spotless. Not Christmas she could remember. She was able to relax and enjoy every meal has to be prepared from basic ingredients. It's really herself. And she noticed that all the others had been able to create okay to go out and buy the dessert instead of cooking your own their own pleasure without her being the self-designated fun- cake or pie. Remember two phrases: "When all else fails, lower provider. your standards" and "Dare to be average." 3. Overemphasis on Gift-Giving Give yourself permission to be less than perfect. Lighten up and A friend told me this story about a Christmas morning fiasco at loosen up. Some parties are so lavish and formal you wonder when their house. They all went to bed early on Christmas Eve with the Governor General is going to show up. everything organized for morning. 2. Beliefs and Self-Created Pressure. At 7:00 a.m. they were jolted awake by a scream followed by loud Everyone has beliefs about how the holiday season should be and crying. Their five-year-old daughter had gone into the living room how everyone should behave. For example, "You don't open gifts only to discover a scene of utter chaos. It turns out that their three- until Christmas morning;" "The tree has to be green," etc. But one year-old was so excited about opening presents that she couldn't belief really troubled a patient of mine. She felt that "I'm responsi- sleep. At 5:00 a.m., unable to contain herself, she'd opened every ble for everyone having a happy Christmas." I saw her on gift (hers and everybody else's) and left everything strewn all over December 23rd and she was dreading Christmas Day.