UC Santa Cruz Electronic Theses and Dissertations
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UC Santa Cruz UC Santa Cruz Electronic Theses and Dissertations Title Portraits of Decolonizing Praxis: How the Lives of Critically Engaged Pinay Scholars Inform Their Work Permalink https://escholarship.org/uc/item/5f90f7z8 Author Nievera-Lozano, Melissa-Ann Nielo Publication Date 2016 License https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/4.0/ 4.0 Peer reviewed|Thesis/dissertation eScholarship.org Powered by the California Digital Library University of California UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA SANTA CRUZ PORTRAITS OF DECOLONIZING PRAXIS: HOW THE LIVES OF CRITICALLY ENGAGED PINAY SCHOLARS INFORM THEIR WORK A dissertation submitted in partial satisfaction of the requirements for the degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY In EDUCATION by Melissa-Ann Nielo Nievera-Lozano June 2016 The Dissertation of Melissa-Ann Nielo Nievera-Lozano is approved: ____________________________________ Professor Cindy Cruz, chair ____________________________________ Professor Allyson Tintiangco-Cubales ____________________________________ Professor Emerita Rosa-Linda Fregoso _____________________________ Tyrus Miller Vice Provost and Dean of Graduate Studies Copyright © by Melissa-Ann Nielo Nievera-Lozano 2016 TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER I: INTRODUCTION ..................................................................................... 1 WHEN THE GONGS ECHO, OUR HISTORY REVERBERATES ................................................ 1 BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY ........................................................................................... 3 CONCEPTUAL AND THEORETICAL FRAMEWORK ................................................................ 7 TRANSFORMATIVE INTELLECTUALS ............................................................................... 10 THE RHYTHM OF THESE PORTRAITS ................................................................................ 11 CHAPTER II: LITERATURE REVIEW ..................................................................... 14 DEMOGRAPHIC IMPERATIVE ........................................................................................... 14 EDUCATIONAL EXPERIENCES OF FILIPINA/O AMERICANS (NOT NECESSARILY YOUR MODEL MINORITY) ......................................................................................................... 15 STUCK ON THE MODEL MINORITY MYTH: 1960S – PRESENT ......................................... 15 DISMANTLING THE MYTH: AAPI College-Going Rates and the Complexity Within ............................................. 18 Factors Negatively Affecting AAPI Academic Performance ...................................... 18 Examining Gender Gives Insight to Academic Struggle .......................................... 23 Examining the Colonial Experiences Gives Insight to Academic Struggle ................ 24 Filipinos in Higher Education .................................................................................... 26 CHAPTER III: METHODOLOGY AND METHODS ............................................... 30 TOWARDS EMBODIED PORTRAITURE ............................................................................... 31 Taking a Perspective ................................................................................................... 34 The Importance of Context ......................................................................................... 34 Multiple Forms of Voice and Power ........................................................................... 35 Critique of Portraiture ................................................................................................ 38 Raced Lives in Portraiture: Illustrated through Critical Race Theory, Poetry, and Jazz .............................................................................................................................. 40 Portraiture’s Relationship to Case Study and Forms of Oral .................................... 50 Language and Power in Portraiture .......................................................................... 52 A NEW EMBODIED PORTRAITURE: COLONIALITY + WOMEN OF COLOR THEORIES ........... 58 Critical Women of Color Theories .............................................................................. 61 RESEARCH DESIGN AND METHODS .................................................................................. 63 Sample Selection ........................................................................................................ 63 Data Collection and Analysis .................................................................................... 65 Research Risks ............................................................................................................ 66 Confidentiality ............................................................................................................ 67 Limitations of the Study .............................................................................................. 67 The How Means So Much More ................................................................................ 68 CHAPTER IV: PORTRAIT OF LENY STROBEL .................................................... 70 WHO IS DR. LENY STROBEL? .......................................................................................... 70 HOW IT COMES FULL CIRCLE ......................................................................................... 71 iii BUT THERE IS SOMETHING ELSE .................................................................................... 73 AIN’T FEELIN’ THE ACADEMY ........................................................................................ 77 A SELF-BUILT PLATFORM IN COMMUNION WITH OTHERS .............................................. 82 WHAT IS EDUCATION? .................................................................................................... 84 WHEN IT HITS HOME ...................................................................................................... 88 WHEN THE WORLD GOES DARK, STARS ARE THERE ...................................................... 90 DREAMING AS KNOWLEDGE PRODUCTION ...................................................................... 93 PERSONAL VOICE AS MEDITATION ................................................................................. 95 TEACHING TODAY THROUGH KAPWA (INTERCONNECTEDNESS) .................................... 98 GRATITUDE TO ATE LENY ............................................................................................ 100 CHAPTER V: PORTRAIT OF DAWN MABALON ................................................ 103 WHO IS DAWN MABALON? .......................................................................................... 104 BUT THIS WAS NOT MY DREAM AT FIRST ................................................................... 107 HOW I CAME TO MY TRUTH ......................................................................................... 110 “SOMEONE BELIEVED IN ME”: HOW MENTORS AND LOVED ONES LIGHT THE WAY .... 112 IMPOSTER SYNDROME: BEING PINAY IN THE INSTITUTION OF THE ACADEMY .............. 117 SACRIFICING THE BODY ON THE HAMSTER WHEEL ....................................................... 125 REFLECTING ON THE PATH AND THE IMPACT ................................................................ 130 WHY I’M HERE ............................................................................................................. 132 GRATITUDE TO DAWN .................................................................................................. 133 CHAPTER VI: PORTRAIT OF ROBYN RODRIGUEZ ........................................ 135 WHO IS ROBYN RODRIGUEZ? ....................................................................................... 137 UNION CITY IN THE LATE 80S: MY YOUTHOOD, MY POLITICS ..................................... 139 WATCHING RACE AND RACISM UNFOLD ...................................................................... 143 HIGHER LEARNING IN THE 90S: HOW A BOOK AND A MENTOR CHANGED THE GAME .. 148 ACADEMIC TENURE: SURVIVAL AS A WOMAN OF COLOR ............................................. 154 ARRIVING IN THE BODY: THE IMPOSTURE SYNDROME, REFLECTION AND HEALING ..... 159 WHAT’S MINE IS YOURS: SHARING WEALTH AS A SCHOLAR-ACTIVIST ....................... 163 GRATITUDE TO ROBYN .................................................................................................. 166 CHAPTER VII: PORTRAIT OF ROWENA TOMANENG .................................... 168 WHO IS ROWENA TOMANENG? ..................................................................................... 168 THE MEANING BEHIND THE BADGE ............................................................................. 169 THE HARM OF AMERICAN SCHOOLING .......................................................................... 171 AMERICAN SETTLEMENT: HEARTBREAK AND HORIZONS .............................................. 172 THE AIRPLANE INCIDENT ............................................................................................. 177 CHANGING DIRECTIONS ............................................................................................... 178 THE SOUL WOUND OF MARGINALIZATION .................................................................... 181 NEW MOVES, NEW CHALLENGES ................................................................................. 183 RADICALIZING FROM BELOW ....................................................................................... 187 BRANCHING OUT WITH STUDENTS AND COMMUNITY ................................................... 189 TRANSLATING