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Davidson College Yearbook, Quips and Cranks, 1898

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Davidson College Yearbook, Quips and Cranks, 1898 Library nf Davidson Collep e Library of Davidson College Quips and (pranks Published by the VOL. III. STUDENTS OF DAVIDSON COLLEGE Davidson College NORTH CAROLINA 1898 SUBSCRIPTION PRICE, ONE DOLLAR AND A HALF Postage, Twenty-five Cents Address, QUIPS AND CRANKS DAVIDSON, N. C. E. A. WRIGHT ENGRAVER, PRINTER AND STATIONER PHILADELPHIA ! SALUTATORY ..* .* Quaint little midget on rainbow wings, Under the roses the humming bird darts [nto the flowers' golden hearts, "[©lying his toil while another sings, <§)ipping the sweet from the roses' breast. /~\lways the sweet and nothing more. Meed we increase life's bitter store? te)ear tiny sage, his plan is best. ©an we not learn the lesson too, "[Reaching far down in our flower's heart /~\ lways choosing the better part Now, in this book we offer you, fCeep from your sight the lesser side, peeking the good its leaves may hide. TO THE MEMORY OF WILLIAM DANIEL VINSON, A.M., L. L. D. A MAN GREAT IN EVERY GREAT QUALITY, N I GREAT IX INTELLECT, IN COURAGE, AFFEI HON \ « INTEGRITY; A RARE COMBINATION OF SUBLIMITY AND SWEETNESS, 01 GRANDEUR \ND GENTLENESS, OF LEARNING AND LOVE, IHIS III I'M-. STI \>\ "I COLLEG1 LIFE IS LOVINGLY DEDICATED Bl mi-. EDITORS fhr. BOARD OF EDITORS William Gilmer Perry, Editor-in-Chief Athletic Department Literary Department John McAllister MacSwain Claudius Tate Carr Wade Cothran Harrison William Angus Ferguson Henry Gillespie Smith Marcus W. Lyon Riin McAmis Fitzpatrick Walter Miller Walsh Art Department John Lawrence Farries James William Calder Business Managers Joel David Woodside Joseph Moore MacConnell Louis Girardeau Beall '—> ^'.i ©#* 2i*% <v !t BOARD OF EDITORS QUIPS AND CRANKS FlTZ PATRICK Smith, H. O. Harrison Walsh ' I H Bl ALL ' Carh \\ ii iDSIDE l'l-K H \ Ferc i MCCONXELL Harries DAVIDSON COLLEGE— MAIN BUILDING V* v_> f tHcrc 9 B — _ iwever incorrecl this may be, remember, it weird shadows on wall and ceiling reminding one " M" will not be my fault as 1 tell the tale as of a giant kaleidoscope worked by unseen fingers. t'was told to me," — not being here at the At length, over the whole College grew a deep time, I cannot prove the statements herein con silence, and one by one the chance loot steps died tained, —only, I can re-commend them as coming away; save for the occasional sputtering of the from a venerable body, whose words ought to cany coal, all was still. Setting aside my books and weight on any subj< < I pulling my chair nearer the fire 1 began dreamily Misty, damp and melancholy had been the day, to ruminate over one thing and another, musing and night came on earlier than usual and found me over the petty incidents of the day and the weari- deep in my arm-chair poring over well-thumbed ness of it all. "Ah' said I aloud, "how fleeting books and weaned with the monotony of things in things are ! Mow many others such as 1 have sat general. The flickering fire cast checkered and bv this same the and, while watching the glowing coals, have planned and projected only to see all might I have the felicity of addressing, —and-er- " overwhelmed at last by the ruthless hand of Time. wont you have a chair ? Here I looked around, is, How insignificant man and how powerless ! but finding that I occupied the only chair in the Impelled by ambition, he strives day and night to room, I became embarrassed. My visitor evidently accomplish his ends, only to be cast down and for- gotten at last. How much better off is the existence of the animal, who has no thoughts for the morrow and lives contented and untouched by the vanities of life." I had no sooner finished than I was suddenly- aware of the presence of another person in the room. Turning quickly around, I saw in the darkest corner a misty looking object bearing somewhat of a human shape, and yet thoroughly transparent, for I could see the wall right through it. I rubbed my eyes and coughed to dispel what appeared to me to be an optical delusion, but it remained in the same place. With my hair standing on m_\- head, I was about to ask who was there, when it began to speak. "Miserable man," it said, "why sit you here THE DRUHtochTV ARCHITECTURE prattling as a child over your fancied ills ? What do you know of life and its troubles ? What do noticed this, and perching himself rather non- you know of the great men who have occupied the " chalantly on my trunk, fixed his piercing eyes on very room you sit in, grumbler that you are ? me and began : Thoroughly crestfallen, I was trying to remem- " Who am I ? I am he who watches over these ber the most approved methods of addressing venerable walls, ceaselessly, day and night. For shades, and at length cried out : sixty long years have I witnessed the annual arrival "O, your most transparent highness! Who of crowds of verdant freshmen, for sixty years have I heard the dull thud which accompanies the Soph- (pink and) blues. \\,, my son, time- are not what omores' fall on Greek. I have seen men come and they were." go, some from the plough, others from the ribbon "One of our principal subjects was practical counter, and all bearing on them when they left the stamp of my powerful hand. You nor your like do not know me, now, but even you will feel my power in after years and realize the greatness of my influence." Here he pounded on the trunk is, lid ; that he struck at it, for there wasn't any sound .md his fist went right thro the lid. "Honored Sir," said I, "accept my humblest apologies for the statements I so rashly uttered a few moments ago, and tell me something of the life of the College in the good old days of it's infamy, and how we got here." The shade looked at me earnestly for a long time, cleared its ghostly throat with a peculiar noise, and said : "My son. 1 come of the best stock in the country. It is true, I had to confine myself to a small building at first, but I grew by degrees until you see what 1 am to-day. The men who built that little brick building you call the Old Chapel were men of the Drumtochty style of archi- tecture ; shoulders as broad as their Hieland accent and having a great capacity for ' tastin ' and a won- 'SIR ol l\ I.K CA1 HCART derful knowledge of the Shorter Catechism. Ah, when 1 think of the days of my youth," he sighed, farming, and it was a great sight to see a long line " and, remembering these men, compare them with ol students ploughing over a piece of unbroken those of to-day, it gives me a terrible fit of the ground. Alas, though, this hail to be given up. '3 over the campus, wakes for it was found that ploughing and the Rible glides like a startled faun Course were extremely antagonistic. In those days sad memories in me of his lovely youth." " 1 fell the spectral eye, passed through if the boys wanted money they would write : tear A tear from Father, please send some money right away, the trunk with the ease of an x-ray, and dropped I've worn out three plough points this week doing from sight. Wishing to relieve his feelings by a of subject, 1 said, "Hut Sir, what do you 'parallel work ' in Practical Agriculture, I've had change three back reviews to stand on it." think of the College now-a-days ? How about the The ghostly form became silent for a moment looking steadily at me as if in deep thought ; then a spectral smile lit up his face and he said : "There ol the is one consolation left me, however ; some old landmarks still remain. One in particular is with us yet, and if appearances are not deceptive, will be for sometime." "Long years ago it was when I first set eyes on bold young Oliver, the bright-eyed youth who e rippling peals of laughter chipped great chunks of plaster from the College walls. His like could be found nowhere, but alas, one day having fallen into Lake Wiley, he swore by the great red wart on his nasal proboscis, that as long as they continued to build dams on the lake, so long would he unfurl his brindle whiskers, uncut, to the winds of the west; a vow which he has faithfully kept to this students, the Faculty and the equipments we have superior to those of day. Yes, it is indeed a pleasure to have our to-day? Are they not very " old friends with us after all these years, and Sir long ago ? acts as a soporific He gave a deep groan, "Superior, !" cried he Oliver Cathcart's face always j is have made when I feel my troubles bearing too heavily on me. "Stuff and nonsense. It true you His sylphlike form, the Very poetry of motion, as he 'additions,' but what are they? You have made a M — lake, lint it is of such a nomadic nature that it ob- now a days, like —well like" — "Henry LouisSmith, jects to any permanent geographical location, and i'i example,.?" Asked I sarcastically. .\ pinkish anyone going in it for a swim is liable to find him- flush passed over the spectre' cheek, and he was self on dry ground before he can get thoroughly plainly embarrassed.
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