April 1, 2014- Uvm, Burlington, Vt Uvm.Edu/~Watertwr - @Thewatertowernews - Thewatertower.Tumblr.Com
volume 15 - issue 9 - tuesday, april 1, 2014- uvm, burlington, vt uvm.edu/~watertwr - @thewatertowernews - thewatertower.tumblr.com by staceybrandt Contrary to previous speculations, I have come to the conclusion that human by dannissim life is not brought down to this !ne green Earth by some enormous bird, known as It was a day like any other. School was the stork by most nature enthusiasts and uneventful, Tommy tried to steal my Tonka commonly known as Big Bird by children Truck, per usual, and Suzy threatened me my age. I also !nd the whole you-were-le"- with her cooties. I was looking forward to on-the-doorstep-in-a-basket theory incon- my welcome-home-snack of cookies and clusive in that, for that theory to work, I, milk when I walked through to door to the infant child, would have already been the most frightening sight: all of the cook- created—but by whom, or by what? I am ies in the cookie jar were missing. #e jar fully aware that I am being quite radical in had been full in the morning. #ere were opposing the leading theories, but I must eight cookies; I like to count them from the expose the truth of the existence of human- kitchen table (I may still count with my !n- ity. gers, but it gets the job done). Alas, a great Naturally, logically, the parents of a mystery had presented itself. #e game was child must be involved. Today, James had afoot! an interesting observation: His parents I started my investigation with Mom- seem to touch lips quite frequently, and my ,who had been home all day.
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