2: LeChuck's Revenge

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Hint Book by Sara Reeder Lucasfilm Qames Qeneral Manager: Doug Cilen Edited by Judith Lucero Lucasfilm Ciames Director of Development: Maps by Peter Chan Kelly Rock Additional Conhibutions by Tami Borowick, Lucasfilm Ciames Associate Director of Shelley Day, Ron Qilbert, Dave (irossman, Development: Lucy Bradshaw James Purple Hampton, Eli Mark, (jwen Public Relations by Sue Seserrnan Musengwa, , and Kris Sontag Product Support by Khris Brown, (jwen Designed by Mark Shepard Musengwa, Livia Mackin and Erin Collier Product Marketing Manager: Robin Parker International Coordinator: Lisa Star Administrative Support by AnneMarie Barrett, Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge created Wendy Bertram, Meredith Cahill, and designed by Ron Ciilbert Alexa Eurich, Claudia Hardin, Michele Harrell, Programmed by Tim Schafer, Tami Borowick, Brenna Krupa Holden, Marcia Keasler, Dave Cirossrnan, and Bret Barrett Debbie Ratio, Lisa Star, Kim Foulger, Background Art by Peter Chan, , James Wood, and Dawn Yamada Sean Turner, andJames Dollar Animation by Sean T umer, Larry Ahem, Special thanks to Cieorge Luc:as Mike Mclaughlin, Steve Purcell, Ken Macklin, and Peter Chan Original Music by Michael Z Land, Peter Additional copies ofthis hint book McConnell, and may be ordered from: Arrangements by Matt Berardo, Robin Cioldstein, Lucasfilm Ciames Company Store Robert Marsanyi, andJ. Anthony White PO Box 10307 SCVMM Story System by Ron Ciilbert, San Rafael, CA 94912 Arie Wilmunder, Brad P. Taylor and Vince Lee VSA: 1-800-782-7927 (1-800-STAR-WARS) iMVSE'" Music System by Michael Z. Land Canada: 1-800-82.8-792.7 and Peter McConnell Lead testing by James Purple Hampton Produced by Shelley Day

Monkey Island£: LeChucks Rf!Vl'nge, character names. all other elements of the game fantasy, iMVSE and Lucasfilm (iames are trademarks of LucasArts Entertainment Company. TM & © 1991 LucasArts Entertainment Company. 1MVSE patents pending. All rights reserved. Hint Book 3 ~ Z:-A.BLe OJ= CONCeNcS

2 CREDITS 4 INTRODVCTION 5 HINTS FOR EAsY MODE (MONKEY 2 LITE) 19 HINTS FOR RECiVLAR MODE 42 SCABB ISLAND MAP 44 PHATI ISLAND MAP 46 BoolY ISLAND MAP 48 DINKY ISLAND VNDERCiROVND MAP 50 VSEFVL OBJECTS 58 THE MEMOIRS OF (iVYBRVSH THREEPWOOD, VOLVME II ... A MONKEY ISLAND 2: LECHvcK's REVENCiE WALK-THROVCiH 4 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge

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,lfflM•• ...... ~ his hint book is divided into several sections, each one with different kinds of infonnation to get you through Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge with a minimum of frustration and a maximum of fun, Here's what you'll find, and how to use it: The Hints section is the most helpful place to tum if you 're bogged down on one particular puule, It is divided into two sections-one for Easy Mode (Monkey 2. Lite) and the other for Regular Mode, Skim the appropriate section until you come to the place in the game where you got stuck, then use the red decoder strip to read the hints, The first hint gives you minimal infonnation-just enough to get you pointed in the right direction, The second one is more specific, the third even more so, and so on until the final hint, which spells out the entire solution, a. The Maps section helps you find your way around Quybrush's comer of the Olde Caribbean, The island charts help you make sure that you haven't missed any important locations, You can also find a map of the Dinky Island Vnderground here, The Vseful Objects list is a list of all the Vseful Objects to be found throughout the game, We also tell you where to find them, and how to use them, This list alone contains solutions to most of the puzzles in the game, so don 't spend too much time reading through it if you really intend to solve some of the puzzles on your own, A good part of this book is taken up by Volume II of the Memoirs of Quybrush Threepwood, a ponderous tome that has questionable literary value, but may be helpful if you want to move through the game quickly, or prop up the end of your coffee table, Exhaustive as this walk-through appears, it won't show you everything in the entire game, but you'll still get to see all of the nifty puzzles and graphics. The walk-through corresponds to the Regular play level. This book contains the collected knowledge of all the Lucasfilm testers, programmers, and writers who worked on Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge. Vse it carefully (like many good things, it's best in small doses), and above all, have fun! Hint Book 5 ~ hlNCS J=OR E-A.SYmone (ffionkey 2 Lire)

PAPLONe-: c hE- LA.P---c;o E-msA.P---c;o Welcome to Woodtick

~ fow do I keep from gettmQ musmed by the HUY on the bndr.e!

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Whal do I SdY to the woodsm1th!

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~ fow do I gel the spit off the wall!

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How do I P,CI mto the bars kitchen!

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Whdt do I need from the kitchen!

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I'm di the sw.imp. What do I do nowl

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I nc <1 d pi ot Lcir o clothing. ~ fow do I et 111

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Off to Sea with Captain Dread (Or, ;;Money-That's what I want, mon.")

Now tllat Lu~o s out ot th picture how do I get ott this rock!

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PAP-<:: L\,VO: Che J=ouµ_ m~ p1eces

NOTE You c.an acquire the four map pieces in any order. (jeneral Hints

Where drr the four mdp pieces loCdted!

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I get drrested when I tep off the dock di Phd!t ls1J'ld. Whdt Cdn I do about it!

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~ low do I r,et out of the Phatt lsldnd ja1ll

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I'm at !hr Bt~ f rrc on Booty Island Jnd I jJst hdd the wctrdrst dream but I Cdn t rcMember the mportant details. Whd! should I dol Hint Book 11

The (jovernor's Map

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I m m the dnhque shop. Where s the mdp!

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Where do I hnd Kum's house!

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I m di the bottom of the waterfall What do I do now!

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. I

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This pld1..e rs RfAL LY creepy. Whc1t should I do first1

Wheres Wc1lly'

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~ low do I get through that enormous door1

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I m in the office. Now whafl

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I m hanP,ing around m the dungeon with Wally, and 11 looks hopelc ~ low do I gr! out of tins mess!

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X Marks the Spot

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What does the parrot wantl And how do I get 11!

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Monl&y I nd 2.. L.e

~keyl s landi2 : LeChlick's evtn eMonkey ISiand .2 huclf ~vc ge Monkey Island 2: l.'.eOrucl' Revenge Monkey J £: UChu&'s ng M ey Isla nil~ LeChuck' s Revenge onktylS!and 2! L!e

Monkeytsland 21 L~hu k :Rev lf?e Monkey Island .2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey ts htJ&' R M onkey Island 36 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island£: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey lsland.2: LcChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey lslahd 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island .2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: leChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island .2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

PAfl.C cnp_ee: LeCnuCK's J=oµ._-cµ_.e-ss

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: leChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: leChuck's Revenge

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island Hint Book 37

Monl

M nkey Island 2.. LeChuck s Revmge onkey I d 2: Le6 huck's R£veng tv'tonkey Island

Monkey Isl 2: LcChuck s Revenge Monkey Island ~ L ~huck ' R e Monkey ISiand

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Monkey J lani:l 2: LCChucJ<: eveng Monkey lslan

Monkey Island 2. cChuck s Revenge Monkty I land 2. L. huck's Revenge Monkey Island .2: LeGhod('s Revenge Monkey I 2. ~11uck ' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Monkey Island 2. LeChuck' Reveng1: nkcy lslan 2. Leehuck' Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2. LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeC::huck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: lcC!huck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: LeGhuck's Revenge Monke lslan 2": l.:.t utk' Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2: Lec:'.:huck's Revenge Monkey kind 2.- ttChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 21 L uck's ewngc Monkey Island 2: t h k's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2 LeUhuc Revenge Monkey1sland 2: teGhuCl<'s Revenge Monkey l~and 2: teChuCl<'s Revenge Monkey Island 2: rleGhuck's Revenge Monkey I land 2: ~eChuc 's Revenge 38 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

I Cdn I seed th ng. Are we dedd, or just lost m rl .., di" r.nd whd' Cdn I do dbout 1tl

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PAP-c Fouµ.: b1NK.Y lsLAND

X Marks the Spot

Tti1s pl<1ce rs J lot b ttcr thd L ( huck' s fortre s. But how do I 'in BiP, Whoop w1thoul the map I

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Whdt do ~ th p rrot wantl And how do I ,et 1tl

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One 1s not enough. • low do I hnd morel

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Mdrlk'fyfSl.md ~: ie~Jt ReWn ~Mohkfytslahd ~ tie,~ti uck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: Lttlli c1tr sRtWH~t ~1&~ 1a'1U~ ! tit(9ltul'. s~etigtiM ~y · 151cltid' ~: LeChuck's Revenge

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M nltey Island !J ©Jock's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

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M

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Monkey Island 2: LeCbuck' s Revenge Monkey Island .2: leChuck'.s Revenge Monkey Island fhe el o w h d

Monkey Island .2.; LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2 ~ LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Mmikey stand 21 L.eGhuck's. Revmge Monkey Island 2: teChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2. L~huck ' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Mun Rey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island 21 LeChuck's Revenge-Monkey Island

Monkey Island 21LeChock ' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Monkey Island 2! LeChuck's R~enge Monkey tsland 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

M0nkey tsland,2: Leehuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2! LeChutk's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island 2. LeChutk' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChucl{s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Ntonkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey lslat1d ~: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey Island .2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

Monkey lsland2: LeChuck's'Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island Hint Book 41

from h v

Monkey Island£: LeChud<'s Revenge Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island

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MQnkey 1.iland £.; LeCh uok '~ Revenge Monkey Island !£1 LeChuck's Revenge Monkey Island 42 Monkey Isand 1 2: LeCh uck ,s Revenge Hint Book 43 44 Monkey Island 2.: LeChuck's Revenge Hint Book 46 ~--~Mo~nk~eyl~slan~d 2~ : L~eCh~uck~'sR~ ~ ~~ Hint Book 47 48 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's RNengr

Vast amounts of Cirog Machine unobtainable wealth* and Coins Helium Tank

Elevator

I E Ticket & Light Switch

*Found only in Hint Book! Hint Book 49

Qeneric Voodoo Doll Balloon Dad's Skull 2 boxes of Root Beer Surgical Qloves 1 Empty Box Hypodermic Syringe 50 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

USE-PJL OSJECCS SCABB ISLAND Woodtick Location Vse '>hovel S1~n at Woodt1ck bndgc Mollkey taltm,i l i :d~(!fhW!ii&.-Revenge M6")1mw lslWld ~ f~l~1sil?.ow enge Mqpke}ldShnid: B 1 ~l'kk'l1.Revenge ~~~&nd l .2: LeChuck's Revenge Stick On the beach ~n~ Wan4 ~ «h();.huck's Revenge Mnnkeyrltll 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Spit dnpping down wall Bloody Lip Bctr & C,ril, &ddrij

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Crazy straw Bloody Ltp Bar & Cinll M0n~ ljlaod 2: 1 Lk~ ' s~ ge Mnnktt' 6sGuui~ . Lg(dJwd ~~ e ~blll1td f l LtChuck' s Revenge Metronome Bloody Lip Bar & Cirill MQf'fbyJlskm 121 L

Money Bloody l ip Bar & (jnll ~onk'fl}1rftla-ndi 2; heGhutkls Revenge M nJo~y ~d .2: LeChuck's Revenge Kmfe Bloody l ip kitchen Mort~:l:Siand~ : I MGhtt.

Vichyssoise Bloody Lip kitchen ~~::t Jsl eft L Cfill., k's Revenge t\.1.on~ blattd .2: LeChuck's Revenge Hint Book 51

111."ll loca• n Vse Monocle Cd'iogr

PJper Cd ogrdphe s ~hop M:onk~ l f.Utthdi~ L~~ · 1R_j:}(-6);>Wf

I- ldl'lMer & NJ Is Woodsm1th ~..;hop M:on.ke cb1"5lm42idlu.¢6l11.Jck's Revenge ~lqeyJslan d 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Wood Po'1sh Woodsmith s shop ~rt&~ l lslathi S ~blJ~k' s Revenge on~~Jisl.aM~ l !Wi(h uck' s Revenge

M n o low Mord F.ber Mo~~d. ~() bt~ud<'s Revenge Jt l.Jundry <-~ip Mo~lsla.tllil ~ h leChuck ' s Revenge

Bucket Lrnndry ship MbRkfy.Wa ~.Li Gibtii(k\s enge Monkt slwisf ~ twobm:u cvenge "4urtktly.:Jsland 2: LeChuck's Revenge

Box Lrnndry ship Mun eyi tmnd ~ ·&Ghut.1Kls?llqvenge Monjqf}E'J stan &i ·ldil 's Revenge

Rat L.aundry ship kdonkey::ls,l.arol; 2 : 1 ~ ~i ~enge

Pedrly-wh1te br Ldundry ship Mooley lslahd-. ta y~iriWiiSIR-eli ttge

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01' Pegb1ter Swamp Rot ln'l Mon~eyi lsiauxlJ21 1LcGhwt.'s Revenge 1lh tor MtJlil:kei<;!statid: .2 1lwm.tJ<'&1Rt'venge

Cheese Squ1gghes 01 Pegb1ter's bowl M-0~ h:IB:rd.tit rChuck's Revenge at Swdmp Rot Inn Laundry claim ticket Lar o's room at Mook.a la .2:'*"ttQtudkiajQEst'enge Swamp Rot Inn M~~tsl ~ LoU:huck's Revenge

fo ee L.d o oom Jt t0"0nkey1 tslarui121 eGIUK~cs~enge ')w mp Rot In C run wlutc folded slurt Largos room .:1t <.wamp Rot Inn 52 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge

Swamp Locahon }..,. Flodhng coffin fdgc of swdmp

(rate Ed of swamp

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Cemetery

Ash s Rapp calhon s crypt

Key R.ipp 5Cdlhon s crypt

Repp m pp cc pp SCdlhon cryp Mo.ntt~ fstantl 2: LeChuck's Revenge Hint Book 53

AT SEA Locati n Ve DrcJd's Mdp CJpl Dredd Mo y island:~ L«G ol!ld Re\lenge M6 k'1y Isl d.@1 LeGnuck's Revenge PdrrotChow Dredd's ship Ml1nkey ISlartd !i litrok' hge Molikey I ~ L.mJhuck' e.venge key Is d-.2t LeG.hi.tck' Revenge figurehedd of Ocean floor Jllitankey Is 2: U:Chuck's Revenge Mad Mo PV key 2: LeChuck' s Revenge PHATT ISIAND Phatt City Ph It ("tty Jdll Morucey Island 21 U.Chuck'1' R~venge Bone Ph tt Ct'Y dtl Monkfy.-tsland 2 1LaC!;huck's Revenge Mon Island 1J. l.eChuck's Revenge Cell keys Phdtt City Jdtl Mo key I sland~ Le0hutj

remporary bbrary card Library fV'on '"f island~ = b£hulMs Revenge Model lighthouse lens library Mkey sla b k'.s Jkvenge Mon~ ~ sland H· LJG ck's Revenge onke Is nd 2: l:.: (; k' R-evenge

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Item Location u(jreat Shipwrecks Library ~~ bian~ eliihbf;io s. &,11~ of Our Century" MD~ lskl 1£; ~ms ~venge M.mibJ bl ~ ; laalut~Revenge ~ Ma d .2.; LeChuck' s Revenge

Any book Library Monkey Jlilan~r L.m:Slru e Revenge Mnnkey sla · dlt.CJwckiJ lnnamg.e

Invitation Cas1'10 Alley Ni0m4e'fiklamt ~' ~htmktsi ltev0)lge M~ l5hmd . fi'l1J..aGlhudda~nge Mm:ikey:J.dand 2.t 11.-etl:ttuckla Ri?venge 60 Pieces of Fight GismoAUey Monkily hslat:1dd! lbeGhuck' s Revenge Monlgey kllm

(juybrush Outside the jail Rdof1Jaty ~!llartd · i! . ~eChuck' s Revenge Wanted Poster M~ Lllood ~ LeChuck' s Revenge Fishmg pole Fisherman on dock Mertlury !slaw iC loaii s Revenge Mam~d nB ~ huck ' s Revenge

The Island's Interior

hatt's bedroom Moh~'.11 lllrtd fhideChuck' s Revenge Quotations" RAonlbty lillmlil fir Chuck's Revenge

Water pump Summit of waterfall M-OrlQll)' I n ~· Latmuck's Revenge M.on 1i1 LeChuck's Revenge

7rapDoor Rums house ~ l:slandi.2.1 t.pQlruck' s Revenge Mug o'grog Rum's house Mollkerl ndtfl: LeUm' JiUtvenge M11 y lsl 2t LitChuck's Revenge

Monkey Statue Outside Rum' Rdorlkey lsli!lnd~r ubehodds ~ ge Mmiby . beCh ' Revenge k~ end~ak rB~Ml e

Rum ~ map piece Rums cellar /Ykmkay' I latlm 1! ·. Uffllut:kls ~~venge Mtml

BOOTY ISLAND Ville de la Booty LOU1tion Use Kate's leaflet Kate o key>Jsla '.shll.:.eChllB:llcis Revenge M

Crypt key

Ship's horn Antique shop Mortktl)t.hdand ~ LBGt:u~k '.'R ~ M key. tekn4~ ,hucl(s

Beware sign Antique shop :it LeOhuc>Cs ~enge tGhwik's Revenge Mirror Antique shop

Well-pohshed old saw Antique shop

M.ip piece Anhque shop

Bronze plaque Sp1tt111g contest i\;Ld~tk's Revenge 6000 pieces of eight Antique dealer Monk11]hklcrn 'i. ~qu ck's Revenge

(iovemor Marley's Mansion

!(. 1Q room Mb key lshnni 2.: lleChuck's Revenge Oar E:.lamc' s bedroom Mcnltt?.y l ~ ' i' nge Moh~y d. · di Ifs Revenge (juybrush the Dog Elamc' s front lawn Monaey slaud..2t 1.oo6midc

Item local n v

Ciarbdge C ns Bdck of Mdn 1011 oh key lsla 2 hGhacld's Revenge

Fme fat fish E-lame's kitchen Monkay l'Sl.imb£:~4lo\s mttnge M'onkey ·f slcm 2: qk' R~venge Monke~Jkla 12/ !LeChuck's Revenge

The lsldnd's lntenor Pkmk B1 free Monkey tst.md 2A cG ' R£wnge MQ keyJsland 2: Huck's Revenge Pap r with spit Big free Mor.rkey.:; 151 Iii: LeGh rl<'s Raueage Monkey lslan ~ JleGJrud' lhndmge Monkey tshltld £: LeChuck's Revenge

Telescop Big r ree Menkay lsta ~ b©buck' · ft-(l)llge Manke~dsl arid .21 LeC k's ew Mon}i:ey lshmli .£1 LeQt k's Revenge

LeCHVCK'S FORTRESS & DINKY ISLAND Mo'nkey lslandl.2iliGhuck's Revenge MQflkey Js.lahd 2. lruh: ck's Revenge Monkey I 2: LeChuck's Revenge (rick r [) ky I I nd b ch Monke)'-lslandt£: LeChuck's Revenge trow r Dr y I I nd b ith Monkpy Island 2:: heGhtldc' s Rdlenge Martm1 gkl s Dmky Island beach Mo key i f 1 Le h.uck' Revenge Monkey Umd £: LeChuck's Revenge

Grog 1111 Dm v Island beach Mo hy lattit~leGhuck's Revenge fmpty bottl Dmky I land bedch Mankey tslarld bt!Clta~k i s-Relre nge Monkeyhian ~tleG 'sRem!llge M key blani 2: eChuck's Revenge

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Item mn

C<1ll Box In tlie 1um1lc Mk)Q~y lslandJ2: lt<:ht.Jtk's Revenge Tredrure Che Vndergrou d Mon'key lshmd .2: Le

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Vndeiwe

B 1l 1on Sto dQC 1Jom Mbnkey lsbnd 2: L!.eOlucl

Root Beer ~to J ro 'Tl Monkey lslanfi 2: LeGhuok's IM!nge Monkey lsl~nd 2.: Ldilluck's Revenge C 'lSPY Bonrd B I EI ato Mimkay Island&.:: LkG.h.ili:k' iRevenge Dad sSkml F1rst 00 Mcnktty Island ~. L.ruhiick' ~~enge

<.ur111wl f,?loves FI oom Monkey Island 2: 1!£Enuck's Ra~ nge Monkey; Jslaml 2~ LeGh\kk's Revenge

~ lypodcrmic <.ynn,,c h oom Monkey ls:l.and 21 te

Cne memo1µ_s OJ= Quysµ_usn C'hREEP~VOOb, VoLume 11 ... A. ffiONR.E-)J 1SLAND 2: LeCnua..'s ReVENc.Je ~VALR.--ChROUc.Jh

n the time following the publication of my first volume of Memoirs, I have found myself much in demand as an author of books, discoverer of lost riches, and highly-regarded after-dinner speaker. Throughout my trav­ els, many have found themselves enlightened, entertained, and over­ awed by accounts of my adventures-both my epic battle to the death with the Cihost Pirate LeChuck, and the many colorful exploits that marked my career thereafter. Yet none of these tales compares with my greatest adventure to date: my second encounter with the diabolical scoundrel LeChuck, and my discovery of the legendary treasure of Big Whoop. Therefore, at the overwhelming demand of my large and loyal following, I, Ciuybrush Threepwood, do now take quill in hand once more and recount this tale of daring, cunning, and surprising wit, in the hopes that it will find its way into the hands and hearts of a larger readership. I have set down one version of my latest endeavor: it is the Full and Vnexpurgated tale, complete in every detail and most suitable for the bold of heart and stomach. I warrant that the recounting is accurate in every degree. Cientle reader, behold and mark well the tale that follows ... Hint Book 59

Z::-1-,e UNEXPLJRCiA.CED Continuing down the lane, I dropped down the hatch into the Bloody A. AnVENUJRES Ot= Lip Bar & Cirill to see if I could get someone to JOLJRNE'YffiA.N P11~.ALE buy me a drink in exchange for a good story. I was talking with the barkeeper when Largo CHAPTfR ONf LaQrande burst into the bar and shook down the barkeeper for his day's earnings. (He also left a I am robbed of my coin and disgusting glob of green spit on the wall.) Since it learn more of my quest was dear that there was no such thing as a free lunch-at least, not in Woodtick-1 left the bar arrived on Scabb Island near sunset, rested from and continued my explorations. my long quiet days at sea and ready for what­ l Outside, I looked over the edge of the bar ever new challenges befell me in my search for ship, and noticed three small, well-lit windows Big Whoop, the largest and most mysterious lost just below the stem. I carefully lowered myself treasure known to piratedom. I had brought with over the edge of the ship and through the first me ample coin and other rich baubles to help window, into the ship's kitchen. The cook was fund the expedition .. .wealth that I was not des­ an extremely rude fellow, so I didn't spend much tined to enjoy for long. On the bridge al the time talking with him, but I did purloin a kitchen Woodtick city limits, I was accosted by one Largo knife off the table in the center of the room before LaQrande, an obnoxious little man (vermin, real­ leaving through the open window. ly), who forcibly wrested all my belongings from Back on Woodtick's main boardwalk, I me. Because Scabb Island has no local constabu­ kept to the left and soon found myself at the lary, it was futile to call for help. In that moment, Swamp Rot Inn, the local hostelry. The innkeep­ I determined to have my revenge on this er, who was only slightly more helpful than the LaQrande, at whatever cost. chef, was not inclined lo let me explore the inn, Left on the bridge, broke but unbroken, I so I distracted him by using my newly acquired noticed a nearby sign bearing the international knife lo cut the rope that restrained his pet alliga­ symbol for "No Digging." l attempted to pick up tor. I helped myself to a handful of the Cheese the sign, but only succeeded in breaking it. Still, I Squigglies™ from ol' Pegbiter's dish, and climbed was pleased lo have al least one new possession the stairs. Opening the door, I found myself in a with which to fill my empty pockets---even if it filthy bedroom-which, I soon learned, belonged was only a rusty old shovel. to Largo LaQrande. Retreating (at least for the I crossed the bridge and entered down­ nonce), I returned to the boardwalk and pressed town Woodtick-a decrepit little hamlet of on . junked ships and the wreckage of unsalvageable The last place in Woodtick was Mad human lives. The first shop on my right was that Marty's Laundry ship at the far end of the board­ of the local woodsmith, who told me a what he walk. Marty himself proved too deaf to hold any knew of the bully LaQrande. Next door, the kind of meaningful conversation, but the three town 's cartographer, Wally, proved even more Men of Low Moral Fiber hanging around on the informative: he knew a great deal about Scabb back of the ship looked oddly familiar. As soon as Island and its neighbors-and shared my interest I saw their rat, it all dicked into place. These were in Big Whoop. I borrowed some writing paper the same three men who had given me those use­ from a pile in his shop; and, as he rested his eyes, less PT A notes in my last adventure. I stopped to I also helped myself to his monocle. (From my talk to them and they brought me up-to-date on prior adventures, I had learned that a fine glass their dramatic adventures, and even let me take lens has many uses in the hands of a clever their bucket, just for old limes' sake. Nothing like pirate.) 60 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

old friends, I always say ... Largo's room at the Swamp Rot Inn. Based on my conversations with the Once inside, I noticed a toupee on a wig various citizens of Woodtick, there appeared to stand on the dresser, and pocketed it. One be a strong consensus that something needed to from the head-that was easy. Next, I carefully be done about this Largo person, and soon. Like a propped the bucket over the bedroom door, and voodoo doll, maybe. Indeed ... a voodoo doll. Yes. hid behind the screen, awaiting Largo's return. I And speaking of old friends, I knew just the per­ didn't have to wait long. The bucket made a son who could do it. splendid mess of Largo's clothing, and got stuck Tired of sightseeing, I returned to the on his head besides. He struggled unsuccessfully bridge and headed for the swamp on the east to remove it, and eventually stumbled out of the edge of the island. Vsing the coffin awaiting me room in search of help. I quickly took my leave at the edge of the swamp, I rowed out through ... though I ran into Largo again at Mad Marty's, the trees until I came to a huge wooden skull where he was dropping off his swamp-begrimed with jaws that closed ominously behind me. I left laundry. the coffin and checked out the parlor of the Inter­ Collecting a sample of Largo·s precious national House of Mojo-for indeed, that is bodily fluids might have proved a difficult chal­ where I was. There was nothing of real interest, lenge for a lesser pirate. For (/uybrush Threep­ though I did take a bit of string from the table wood, however, this type of subtle task is all in a with the skull on it. As I entered the back room, day's work. I merely wandered over to the however, the Voodoo Lady recognized me Bloody Lip Bar & (/rill, and used a piece of the instantly-even through my new beard. cartographer's paper to wipe up the gross green As we talked, she revealed that Largo spit glob that was still dinging to the wall. Two La(/rande was far more than a miserable little ter­ down, two to go. Next, I went to Mad Marty's rorist-he was, in fact, a toady and henchman of to check on the status of Largo's laundry. The old my old nemesis, the dread (/host Pirate guy may have been half blind and totally deaf, LeChuck! Not only that, he was extorting money but he wasn't about to give me the laundry with­ from the poor residents of Woodtick and refused out the ticket, so I returned to Largo's room. For­ to let anyone leave the island-he called it his tunately, he wasn't in; even more fortunately, '"Largo Embargo'". The only good news was that he'd left his laundry ticket on the back of his hotel the Voodoo Lady was delighted and eager to room door. I took it to Mad Marty, who prompt­ help me make a voodoo doll of Largo-once I ly presented me with Largo's threads. I didn't rounded up ingredients from the four basic recall ever seeing Largo wear this particular item voodoo groups. She even gave me a shopping list: before, but there are probably some questions bet­ one item from Largo's head, one from his threads, ter left unasked. Besides, I had my bits of head, one from his body, and one from the dead. With thread, and body ... and it was now time to tum renewed determination, I climbed back into the my attention to the quest for something dead. coffin and rowed back to shore. Yuck. The cemetery on the southeastern comer of r OT the island seemed the logical place to begin my search. My hunt for Largo's ancestors took me all I exact my revenge the way up the distant hill, where I finally found ~ s I rowed, I devised a plan for collecting the one Marco La(/rande, buried under a large ~four ingredients. ll1e first order of business gravestone. I took up my shovel, and began dig­ was to get something from Largo's clothes. ging. By and by, I hit pay dirt-in this case, a When I arrived on the shore of the swamp, I bone. Hoping it wasn't just a beef shank buried filled the bucket with mud before heading back to by a neighborhood dog, I stashed it in my coat Hint Book 61

and returned to the International House refused to take me to sea until I could of Mojo. The Voodoo Lady was waiting come up with a new lucky sailing charm and ready. Moments later, I had everything I and 20 pieces of eight. I easily convinced him needed to make good my revenge on Largo that the cartographer's monocle would serve as a La(irande. fine new sailing charm. Raising the money As I expected, I found Largo in his hotel would require slightly more cunning. It looked as room. Despite his repeated attempts to throw me though there was nothing for it but to abandon out, I persisted until I got my chance. Quickly, l my principles and look for a steady job ... if only started poking the pins in the doll, with remark­ for a few days. On my way back to town, I able results. Within minutes, Largo was gone devised a brilliant scheme by which I should be from Woodtick for good. The only drawback was quickly employed. The trick, I realized, was to to that he'd gotten away with one of my favorite a better rat trap. souvenirs: LeChuck's living beard, from which At Mad Marty's laundry ship, I opened (he said) that villainous spirit could be reanimat­ the small box on the ground, and used the stick to ed. prop it open. Next, I tied the string to the stick, and placed some Cheese SquiggliesTM inside the CH;\ TEP T -f i:i:. box. I walked to the end of the string, waited until the rat took the bait, and pulled. From there, I learn a terrible truth, it was a simple matter to open the box ... pocket and face Dread the trapped, cowering rat ... sneak once more into Bernard's greasy kitchen ... neatly deposit my ~e Voodoo Lady confirmed that, for once, furry catch in the vichyssoise ... and retreat once '-"Largo wasn't lying. The terrible truth of more out the window (Lest you, gentle reader, the matter was that l would have to face think me heartless and cruel to have subjected a LeChuck once again. Although she could not helpless animal to such a fate, I hasten to remind offer me any protection, she hinted that my deliv­ you that vichyssoise is a cold soup. The rat had a erance might lie in the successful discovery of Big good meal and went his merry way.) . Whoop and handed me a book entitled "Big All that remained was to enter the bar Whoop: Vnclaimed Bonanza or Myth?" Accord­ through the front hatch, ask the barkeeper about ing to the book, the only map ever made of the the soup, and wait for Bernard to be shown the treasure's location had long ago been tom into door. Within moments, I was being offered a four pieces. The key to the treasure-and my ulti­ job-and a week's pay up front. Money in hand, mate defeat of LeChuck-would be to find each I hustled into the kitchen, out the open window, piece, and recreate the map. It would be a treach­ and off once more to Captain Dread. It was high erous and difficult quest-a job for only the most time for me to get off this miserable rock. skilled and resourceful of adventurers. Embold­ ened by the Voodoo Lady's words, I set out in search of a ship. EP V I decided to ask Fink and Bart, the two I go in search of the first pirates on the beach, for advice. (Along the way, l found a sturdy stick on the ground, which I map piece, and find myself added to my meager collection of belongings.) in Phatt City The two pirates referred me to one Captain ~ fter chartering his ship, we cruised aimless­ Dread, a sailor who lived on the far peninsula at ~y for awhile. While we did this, I stepped the southwest comer of the island. · outside for some fresh air. I noticed a bag of parrot Eager to begin my expedition I headed chow and picked it up, thinking (quite correctly, I over, only to find out that the good Captain 62 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck' s Revenge

might add) that it would come in handy Whoop. I decided to secure the party later. l then headed back into the cabin, invitation for myself. and told Dread that I wanted to go to Phatt The ruffian playing the game before me Island. After a long and circuitous journey, Dread proved to be an unnaturally consistent winner, and I reached the island, where I was surprised to when he left the game, I trailed him into a second find that, for some inexplicable reason, I was a alley on the other side of the library, which was wanted man . One of Qovemor Phatt's goons dominated by a formidable-looking green door. arrested me the moment I stepped off the dock, Hiding among some nearby crates, I watched stripped me of my belongings, and threw me into carefully, for my sharply-honed pirate instincts the most miserable jail cell this side of Port-au­ told me that the secret to his success lay on the Prince. Along the way, I had an unpleasant audi­ other side. The green door was home to the ence with Qovemor Phatt, who explained glee­ Qamblers' Club, which used an elaborate pass­ fully that the Voodoo Lady's awful premonition word to identify its members. After the ruffian was true: LeChuck was indeed alive and well, got his number and left, I approached the door and had put a bounty on my head-a bounty the and tried to open it. Vsing all the charm and governor was determined to collect. savoir faire l could muster, I assured Bruno, the As usual, my native wit and cunning doorkeeper, that I was a legitimate club member. served me well . While cooling my heels in jail, He put out his hand and began to signal the pass­ waiting for LeChuck to come round and collect word numbers. By my keen powers of observa­ me, I found a stick under the bed's rock-hard mat­ tion, l knew that the first number he showed in tress, which I then used to retrieve a bone from each set of two would be the correct password, no the skeleton of my unfortunate neighbor. The matter which number followed it. Convinced by bone proved to be attractive bait for the jailhouse my brilliant ruse, Bruno gave me a winning dog, who in his eagerness to collect ii, dropped roulette number to bet. the cell door key within easy reach. Vsing the key Returning to the game, l quickly collected in the cell door, I handily liberated myself-and my invitation to Elaine's party, and then ducked the two large envelopes on the nearby bookshelf. into the library for a little peace and quiet. ..and One contained all my earthly goods, which I re­ maybe something to read at sea during Dread's pocketed1the other contained a ... uh ... banana. endless meanderings. A model lighthouse by the And a barrel organ. (All things considered, I door caught my eye. When I attempted to open it would have preferred a sword and a bottle of up for a closer look, a small glass lens fell out, near-grog.) which soon found itself a new home in my pock­ Stepping out into the street, I turned et. Next, l turned my attention to the card cata­ toward the library. In the first alley to my left, I log, looking for anything that might be useful to discovered a fancy rogue engaging a local ruffian me as a pirate, or in my search for Big Whoop. l in a game of roulette. Among the prizes offered made a note to remember "Qreat Shipwrecks of were a large pot of cash (which I certainly could Our Century" (filed under D for Disaster), "The use), a vacation (not at all attractive, given that I Joy of Hex" (see Recipes, Voodoo), and "Famous had just passed a restful stay in the nearby jail), Pirate Quotations" (under Q, naturally). Finally, and an invitation to the gala Mardi Qras party under "Humor," l found the classic "Dumb Pirate given by the rich and beautiful Qovemor Elaine Jokes." Marley, administrator of nearby Booty Island. The librarian al the rear of the library My own fair Elaine! Though l had not seen her issued me a temporary library card, and found all in quite awhile, l craved the luxury of basking in my books except "Famous Pirate Quotations," her bounteous presence once again. Besides, l which she said had recently been checked out by thought, she might know something about Big Qovemor Phatt. After a brief conversation with Hint Book 63

an arrogant fisherman on the nearby fellow partygoers were having much too dock (which ended when I wagered my much fun to notice as I worked my way fishing ability against his favorite rod), it was over to the wall, surreptitiously tucked the map time to get to Elaine's party. Besides, I thought it inside my tutu, and quietly stole out the front door best to leave the island before Phatt's goons real­ again. ized I was gone. I returned to Dread's ship, and Although I had escaped the party without set sail for Booty Island. detection, I had the misfortune of encountering Elaine's dog while crossing the front lawn. It CHA TE VE· seems that the dog (whom, out of fondness, she had named after me-what a woman!) caught I find a Booty of two map the scent of the map. He alerted the nearby gar­ pieces-and lose them both dener, who hauled me upstairs for that most eagerly anticipated of all human experiences-a ews of LeChuck's bounty had not yet chance to chat with an old girlfriend. N reached Booty Island, and I was free to Even after all this time, Elaine still proved wander the charming Ville de la Booty. Accord­ quite responsive to my natural way with words. ing to my invitation, costumes would be required Though she seemed a bit angry at first, I was for entry to Elaine's party, so I began at the cos­ quickly able to charm my way through her tume shop. defenses, and very soon, she willingly offered me Something grand and manly, I thought to the map and her wholehearted support. Unfortu­ myself. A cannibal's bones, or an Aztec warrior's nately, just as we were making up, a gust of wind gleaming cape of feathers, or a rough but elegant from the open window caught the map piece and suit of lndyWear™. Something to make Elaine blew it away ... feel all those old urges ... I bolted out of the bedroom in pursuit of The shopkeeper had other ideas. Every cos­ the map (stopping only to collect a small token of tume in his shop had been reserved for Mardi our mutual passion: the oar that Elaine kept (iras revelers, and he would scarcely even talk to mounted over her bed). I chased the map outside, me until I showed him my invitation. Fortunate­ across the lawn, and into the trees-but all in ly, a costume had been reserved for the winner of vain. For, as I watched in horror, a larger gust the invitation. It wasn't exactly what I had in seized it and carried it away to a distant cliff on mind, but I took the costume and left. the south edge of the island. Outside the shop, I met one Captain Kate No way to retrieve it now: I would have Capsize, who was passing out leaflets for her to come back for it later. But, as long as I was charter boat tours-and shared my interest in here, I decided to help myself to a brief tour of finding Big Whoop. Vpon leaving her, I proceed­ Elaine's new mansion. I began by confiscating ed out the west side of town onto the path to that pesky dog. Elaine's mansion in the northwest corner of the Heading around to the back of the house, I island. found some garbage cans by the kitchen door. After presenting my invitation to the secu­ Ever curious, I rattled the cans to see what might rity guard at the mansion kiosk , I ducked behind shake loose. I found nothing, but the noise attract­ a bush, changed into my costume, and proceeded ed the attention of Elaine's down the path to the mansion. As I made my nasty attitude suggested a strong family grand entrance-an eye-catching in pink resemblance to the now unemployed Bernard. tulle-I spotted the longed-for treasure of my Wildly brandishing his meat cleaver, the cook heart: the first map piece. (iood old Elaine comes chased me around the mansion and back into the through again, I thought. She had even framed it kitchen. I caught a fine fat fish out of the bowl in and hung it over the mantle, in plain sight. My 64 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

the table before beating a hasty retreat the northeast part of the island, and dis­ into the woods. appeared into a big tree. I cursed to think Back in Ville de la Booty, I ducked into that she was probably going to make a nest Stan's Vsed Coffins to catch my breath. That out of my hard-won prize, and dashed after her as obnoxious used ship salesman from my Melee fast as I could go. Island days had evidently found himself another, A spiraling series of holes had been drilled even more grisly, line of work. I took a quick look into the tree trunk, as though someone had once around, accepted a souvenir hanky from him, and tried to build a stairway to the top. A sturdy departed. plank jammed into the lowest hole confirmed my My encounter with the antique dealer over hunch-and inspired my next brilliant plan. Like by the wharf was more profitable. I quickly pro­ most brilliant plans, this one was deceptively sim­ cured, at fair prices, a well-polished old saw and a ple. I put Elaine's oar in the second hole, and large brass ship's horn. I was also interested in the climbed up to stand on it. Just as l was about to mirror hanging by the parrot's perch-unfortu­ reach back for the plank to continue my way up nately, so was the parrot. To distract him, I pur­ the tree, the oar suddenly broke, and I crumpled chased a Beware sign farther down the wall, and to the ground, unconscious. I remained there for hung Dread's parrot chow bag on the now-empty some time, tormented by wild dreams of dancing hook. After the parrot turned toward the food skeletons with shifting bones. When I came to, I sack, I was able to purchase the mirror. collected the pieces of my broken oar, and set out As I was paying for my selections, I found for the woodsmith 's shop on Scabb Island. on the counter one more item of interest-the sec­ After getting my battered old oar fixed, I ond piece to the coveted Big Whoop map! Vnfor­ decided to try out my well-polished old saw. tunately, the dealer's asking price was just a tad Finding the Men of Low Moral Fiber sound steep, and I was forced to return to Dread's ship asleep, I decided that that fine hardwood peg leg without it. But, until I got my hands on it, that would make a fine trial of my new blade. It map piece was never far from my mind. might also distract the woodsmith from his shop, giving me an opportunity to borrow his hammer CH~ and nails ... That, I felt, was enough mayhem and pil­ I commit assorted acts of laging for one day. It was time to drop into the pillage and plunder, and secure Bloody Lip for a drink of strong grog. The bar­ the first map piece tender was glad to accept my library card as ID, though he was perhaps less glad to see me again. ack on Dread's ship, I cudgeled my brains to Along with my drinks (a Yellowbeard's Baby B discover a way to get Elaine's"map piece off and a Blue Whale to go), the bartender (who was that cliff. The solution proved to include a brief proving to be very generous man) gave me a free return visit to Phatt Island, where I showed that crazy straw. Wow. My mind reeled with the braggart fisherman my fine fat fish . I then had to possibilities. make a few threatening noises, but he eventually The entertainment in the bar that evening made good on his wager. With my new fishing was Jojo, a rather stupid-looking monkey-so pole in hand, I returned to Booty Island, and stupid, in fact, that when I stuck my banana on made my way to the cliffs on the southern shore. his metronome, he was instantly mesmerized. I The fishing pole worked as smoothly and tucked him into one of my larger coat pockets, easily as one of the Voodoo Lady's potions-­ and left the bar. (V\/ith Jojo and the organ, I fig­ right up to the moment that some stupid sea gull ured, I at least had a profitable street act to fall snagged the map piece off the hook, soared off to back on if I retired from the pirate biz.) Hint Book 65

It was high time to get back to It occurred to me that such an Booty Island. That gull was probably lay­ impressive-looking plaque might be of ing her eggs on my map that very moment. some interest to the antique dealer. Vpon Arriving at the Big Tree, I used my reinforced oar entering his fine establishment, l asked him once and the plank in alternating holes, and climbed to again about the map piece, hoping that he might the tree house at the top. Before ducking inside lower his price for the one-and-only conqueror of the house itself to get the map, I ran up to the tip­ the (jhost Pirate LeChuck. He mentioned that he top of the tree and grabbed a telescope. Inside the might be willing to exchange it for the fabulously tree house, the gull proudly protected a huge caNed figurehead of the Mad Monkey, a ship paper junk pile-with my map somewhere that had been lost at sea some years before. underneath. Fortunately, it didn't take long for When I told him who I was, he was so (juybrush the Wonder Dog to sniff out my prize. awestruck that he also quickly agreed to buy my The first map piece was mine! bronze plaque for 6000 pieces of eight. Back outside on the town green, I perused PT my copy of "(jreat Shipwrecks of Our Century," looking for any reference to the fate of the Mad I spit into the wind, and recov­ Monkey. The book was a veritable treasure chest er the fabulous Mad Monkey of information-including the coordinates of the spot where the ship was lost. n etuming to town, l joined the spitting con- Dread, of course, was disinclined to take 1"--test being held on the village green. It his leaking sieve of a tub out on the high seas­ would add much to my reputation as a fearsome and I would have been just as reluctant to be his and unruly pirate to hold such a championship, passenger. Captain Kate Capsize, however, was and I applied myself to the challenge with my more than willing to take me to the site ... in usual cunning and wit. exchange for all the money the antique dealer had First, I amended the game to better suit my just given me. On Dread's map, I showed her the abilities. Blowing the ship's horn to distract the coordinates I had found in the book. And, before crowd, I quickly changed the field flags around to I knew it, we were there. a more advantageous configuration. Second, Diving over the side of the ship, I descend­ based on my obseNation of Largo's spitting abili­ ed to the darkest depths of the Caribbean, hoping ty back on Scabb Island, I enhanced the quality of against hope that the book's information was my projectile by mixing the blue and yellow cock­ right. It was: I came to rest on the sea floor just a tails into a vile, sticky, green concoction, which I few feet from the wreck of the Mad Monkey. It sipped through my crazy straw. was a simple matter to pull off the figurehead As I stepped to the line, I noticed that a (which, I thought, bore a stronger resemblance to handsome young woman at the end of the bench Bonzo than it did priceless work of art), step onto was dearly smitten with me. She kept trying to Kate's anchor, and return to the surface. get my attention with her long red silk scarf, As promised, the antique dealer gratefully which fluttered tantalizingly in the slightest exchanged the second map piece for the monkey breeze. Realizing that she was sending me a head. Two down, two to go. And I had a good secret signal about the wind direction, I watched idea about where I'd find piece number three. that scarf and waited until the winds favored me. On cue, I let fly my spitball with a loud "Ptooie!". The crowd went wild, and I collected a heavy bronze plaque in recognition of my unparalleled prowess with phlegm. 66 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

which led up the hill to the Ciovemor's CHAPTER EIGHT: Mansion. I consign Stan to The mansion proved to be completely unguarded, which surprised me: if I were as a premature burial amoral a scoundrel as Ciovemor Phatt, I reck­ ~e last bit of business to finish on Booty oned, I should have surrounded myself with \...... --Island concerned my old friend Stan. Dur­ much more vigilant security. I proceeded through ing my Monkey Island adventures, Stan, you the main gate, across the lawn, and into the may recall, had bilked me out of a great deal of house completely unchallenged; only at the stairs gold. Stan, it should be noted, sent me out on the did I finally encounter one lone guard, the same high seas on a ship that barely floated. Stan, faith­ ugly bruiser who had arrested me before-a man ful readers will remember, was simply the most with fewer brains than your average head of let­ obnoxious man alive. If revenge is a dish best tuce. It was pathetically easy to convince him that served cold, I was about to savor an iceberg-sized the (iovemor Himself had ordered my release, portion for myself. and that he was urgently needed elsewhere in the Vpon entering his used coffin shop, I set mansion. my scheme in motion by faking an interest in a Stealing upstairs, 1 found Ciovemor Phatt good used coffin. Stan, ever eager to make a sale, sound asleep, with "Famous Pirate Quotations" gave me a personal demo of his most expensive lying on his stomach. I used my 'Stupid Pirate floor model. As he sat in the coffin, chattering on Jokes" book as a replacement (The joke book had about its useless features, I dosed it, then used my not failed to live up to its name). Quickly and qui­ hammer and nails and to seal him in . Ifs a good etly, lest I awaken the sleeping blob, I left the thing Stan was so enthusiastic about that particu­ mansion and returned to town. lar model, because he probably spent quite a long Meanwhile, back in town, my good friend time in there. Kate had unexpectedly come ashore, and even With Stan safely out of the way, l did a more unexpectedly gotten herself arrested. (Imag­ quick search of his store. Nothing much of inter­ ine that.) Though quite indignant, she was glad est ... except a grisly-looking crypt key on the back to see me, and even more glad to see my cell key. wall. I had a hunch that the key opened one of As she stormed out of the jail, 1noticed that she'd the crypts in the Scabb Island cemetery. I had a left behind her envelope-a vanilla envelope con­ chilling image of wandering the cemetery for taining a full bottle of near-grog. Of course I kept hours, fumbling that key into the doors of endless it: I was heading for the island's interior, and dead people. It was certainly something to look would probably welcome the refreshment. forward to ... after l cleared up a bit of confusion Returning to the path, I eventually found on Phatt Island. myself beside a waterfall in the northwest part of the island. 1climbed to the top of the falls for a CHAPTER NINE· better view, and came upon a shiny new water faucet. .. an odd thing to find in such a remote I get the better of Governor area. I found that the still mesmerized Jojo made a Phatt, and am introduced perfect monkey wrench, so I used him to tum off the faucet, and walked back down the hill. As I to Rum Rogers suspected, turning off the faucet had stopped the ~e first thing I did upon our landing at waterfall's flow, exposing a gaping hole in the \...... -- Phatt City was use Kate's leaflet to cover rocks underneath. Entering the hole, I wandered the face on my wanted poster. That should con­ through some decidedly non-primitive water­ fuse the Ciovemor's moronic goons, I figured. I works, which led to a sandy beach. then took to the path on the left side of town, On the cliff above the beach I found a Hint Book 67

small cottage, the residence of one Rum didn't take long: the key easily opened Rogers, a retired pirate with a penchant for the second crypt in the cemetery, a small privacy. I soon discovered that sweet-talking stone mausoleum remarkable only for the tiny the old coot was useless, so I took a more aggres­ cross atop its roof. sive tone ... and goaded him right into the fatal Entering the tomb, I perused my hard-won mistake of challenging me to a drinking contest. copy of "Famous Pirate Quotations," looking for Rum may have been cranky, but he was a anything by Rapp Scallion, the one-time propri­ hospitable guy at heart. He brought me a full etor of the beachside Weenie Hut. Next, I com­ mug of strong grog, then returned to the liquor pared Rapp's words of eternal wisdom with the cabinet to get one for himself. While he was epitaphs on the various coffins. All too soon, I gone, I emptied the mug into the potted tree on found what I was seeking. the back wall, and refilled it with Kate's near­ My hands shaking with cold dread, my grog. Rum had lost that drinking contest before eyes half-closed to steel me against the specter of he even sat down at the table. death and decay that awaited me, I slowly When my host passed out on the floor, I opened Rapp Scallion 's coffin. When the lid was took a look around. What was it about this house fully off, the chill moonlight illuminated the cof­ that attracted treasure-hunters, and made Rum so fin 's grotesque contents, and my eyes were filled vicious about his privacy? First, to shed some light with the horrible sight of ... on the subject, I opened the shutters by the front Ashes. Just a pile of ashes. Rapp Scallion door, and put my mirror in the mirror frame on had been cremated! In a blinding flash, I recalled the back wall. Then I put the telescope in the a dusty jar I'd seen on the shelves of the Interna­ hands of the giant monkey statue out front. A tional House of Mojo, a jar labeled "Ash-2- beam of light reflected from the telescope to the Life'."" Quickly, I snatched up a handfUl of Rapp's mirror to the brick wall in Rum's house, burning ashes and dashed for the swamp. a spot onto a single brick. Ciingerly, I pushed the Vnfortunately, the jar on the shelf was just brick. When the dust settled, I found myself in a store sample; and, even more unfortunately, the Rum's cellar, face to face with a grinning corpse. Voodoo Lady had forgotten the recipe. Fortunate­ He had a lot to smile about, for in his right hand ly for both of us, my well-traveled copy of 'The was the third map piece. Joy of Hex" had the information she needed, and The chute on the left wall of Rum 's cellar I was soon on my way back to the swamp to returned me to the beach. I hurried back to have a nice friendly chat with a dead man about Dread's ship, confident that I would find the a map. fourth piece awaiting me back on that dismal This adventure was getting creepier and rock, Scabb Island. more surreal by the moment, because the first thing Rapp wanted to talk about when he came CHAPTER TEN: to was his Steamin' Weenie shack. All these years, he had been tossing and turning in his I have dealings with the grave, worrying that he'd left the gas on in his dead, and am rewarded with restaurant. Oust what I needed. A neurotic ghost.) Just to shut him up, I agreed to go check it out for the ultimate prize him. He handed over the key. o matter what time of day it was any­ I went up to the beach on the north side of N where else, it always seemed to be a dark the island, used the key to enter the shack, turned and stormy night in the Scabb Island cemetery. off the gas, hurried back to the cemetery, used the Drawing my overloaded greatcoat around me, I Ash-2 - Life~ to resurrect Rapp a second time, and began to search for the crypt that fit Stan's key. It reassured him that he'd been right all along: the 68 Monkey Isl.Ind 2: LeChuck's Revenge

gas was on, but I turned it off. Eternally traveling companions and I saw the light relieved, and ready to rest in peace at last, again. It was not daylight nor starlight Rapp rewarded me with my ultimate prize: the that finally greeted my eyes, however-it was fourth and final map piece. the red, eerie firelight deep inside LeChuck's own impregnable fortress. r c L r T Victory is won ... and lost. ~y final triumph was so near that I I am subjected to LeChuck's ( J .J swore I could hear its heart beating in unique brand of hospitality the trees as I returned to Woodtick, the four map t was an enormous old castle, full of maze-like pieces clutched tightly in my pocket. Within hallways that were similar enough to be disori­ hours, I knew, I would enter history as the great­ l enting, but different enough to let you know that est pirate of all time ... the first and only to discov­ you were completely lost. Of course, my long er the lost treasure of Big Whoop. years as an explorer enabled me to maintain my After providing my old friend Wally with bearings almost effortlessly. Off to the right of the a suitable replacement for his missing monocle crate, I discovered a staircase, which I followed up (the lens from the Phatt Island library's model through a small passageway. I continued to bear lighthouse), I was able to persuade him to right, and proceeded straight down a long hall­ reassemble my four map pieces into one master way, finally emerging in a particularly dreary map. To repay his kindness, I ran a small errand dungeon. To my dismay, I found my old friend for him while I waited. When I returned from Wally hanging around in the lower cell. The this brief mission I found, much to my horror, dungeon keys, he said, were kept in LeChuck's that Wally was gone-along with my map. The office. The map, I learned, was probably gone for hastily-scrawled message carved into his desk good, but just in case, since Wally was my only confirmed my worst fear: my old nemesis had link to the map, I decided to spring him. been following me much more closely than I had Qetting to LeChuck's office required some imagined. advanced trickery. Looking through my pockets, I What should I do next! Clearly, there was found a spit-encrusted piece of paper containing nothing left for me on any of these miserable the words to a bizarre song. I didn't quite remem­ islands. The only loose end that hadn't been tied ber ever hearing this song before-it was almost up concerned a huge crate that I'd notice on the like something I'd heard in a dream once. The bank of the swamp during my last visit to the grisly lyrics sounded like something they might Voodoo Lady. As long as I was caught in this have sung at a truly demented surgeon's college: dead end, I sighed, I might as well go check it knee bones connecting to arm bones and and out. head bones and so on. Some of the odder verses I climbed into the crate carefully, deter­ described anatomical configurations that were mined to make a thorough inspection of its con­ downright kinky to think about. tents. Destiny, however, had other plans. It took Speaking of kinky, though, the lyrics did less than five seconds to decide that I wanted no seem to describe the rather macabre artwork on part of this crate and its writhing cargo; it took LeChuck's walls. I looked at the first verse more even less time for the efficient minions of Vnited closely. Though I don 't recall anymore what the Pirate Shipping to seal me into the crate and ship exact words were, it was probably something like me off to parts unknown. My adventure had just "head bone to foot bone to hip bone." I wandered taken a very different tum. the long hallways until I found a wall panel with It was five long days before my reptilian a head bone at the top, a foot bone underneath, Hint Book 69

and a hip bone at the bottom. As I of several surfaces before thoroughly pushed the panel, it opened into another dousing the candle flame, putting my little hallway. Aha! Maybe I was onto something buddy and me out of immediate danger. here ... We wandered, in total darkness, until I I looked at the song's second verse, and found some matches in the pink juju bag. I lit again found a wall panel that matched the order one, .. and that was the last I saw of Wally, of the bones. In fact, each of the song's verses had LeChuck's fortress, and the room full of dynamite a matching wall. (I got lost once or twice, and we'd somehow discovered .. . Leaping major found myself back at a central hallway that served island groups in a single blast, I was transported as a sort of crossroads. From there, it was easy to to Dinky Island-the home of the legendary Big begin again, with the first verse.) \'\,/hen I had Whoop. gone through all the panels in the correct order, I found myself in front of the largest, heaviest, most CH N. imposing door I'd ever seen in my life. LeChuck's office. It couldn't have been I find Big Whoop anything else. The door was guarded with many '' 1 hen I came to, I was lying on the more locks than I had keys, but it was very easy VV warm white sand of a beautiful wesl­ (in retrospect, probably too easy) to let myself facing beach, part of a scene so perfect I felt I'd through the doggie door (Like everything else stepped into a travel ad-except for the rickety about this door, it was the largest one I'd ever still nearby, which was tended by my old friend seen-and I had no wish to meet the dog for Herman Toothrot and a rather chatty parrot who whom it had been built.). Inside the office, the never stopped begging for crackers. key was hanging just where Wally had said ii Talking to Herman turned out to be even would be. I reached for it. .. more pointless and frustrating than usual, but the ... and the next thing I knew, I was hang­ parrot had plenty of interesting things to say. It ing by my thumbs in LeChuck's dungeon, twist­ occurred to me that he might have belonged to ing in the breeze, an acrid green acid bath froth­ one of the original Big Whoop gang: he certainly ing gently below my heels. One booby caught in was eager to tell me where to go. I found a crack­ a booby trap. Or make that two boobies-for er in the barrel by the still, gave it to him, and lis­ Wally was hanging beside me. tened closely. This bird and I were going to get As I listened lo LeChuck, it became appar­ along just fine. ent that his plans for me were nothing less than Combing the beach, I also found a crow­ diabolical, so I kept him talking, stalling for time bar, an empty bottle, and a martini glass (which I while I planned our daring escape. I soon learned filled with ocean water, and transformed into that I couldn't reach anything in my fresh water using the still) . There didn't appear to pockets ... except the green drink and the crazy be anything else of interest on the beach, so I straw. It was all I needed. When LeChuck left headed into the jungle. the room, I proved once again that they don 't call I wandered around for quite some time, me The Phlegm Master for nothing. First, I fired bearing to the left, until I came to a tree with a a wet glob of green al the skull shield hanging small bag hanging from one limb. After breaking from the ceiling to my left, then a shot to the the empty bottle on the tree trunk, I used the shield on the ground in front of me. This was all jagged edge to slice the bag open. A box of crack­ preparation for the final shot. Carefully swirling er mix fell out at my feet. the spit in my mouth, I prepared for the moment Yeah. Cracker mix. Just add low-salt of truth. Then I shot a big ball of it right at the water-like the water in my martini glass-and skull shield. The well-aimed missile ricocheted off before you could say "Where's that parrot?" I had 70 Monkey Island 2: LeChuck's Revenge

two more crackers, just the thing to make when an unexpected visitor dropped in a certain parrot very happy. Sure enough, for a chat. back on the beach, the parrot cheerfully ate my Elaine. Dear, faithful, brave Elaine. Her crackers and told me everything I needed to know only thought was of saving me, but her rescue to get to Big v\/hoop. attempt ended in disaster. I fell, still clutching the Following the parrot's directions, I walked chest, into the blackness of the pit with a resound­ east (that is, to my right), until I came to a small ing crash. pond. I first removed the rope, then used my new I was out of matches by this time, and, crowbar to open, the small box on the bank, quite frankly, after my last experience, a little hesi­ which contained a bundle of dynamite, which (of tant about using them, so I groped around in the course) I pocketed. From the pond, I took the mid­ darkness. I found a light switch and turned it on. I dle path, continuing due east until I found the then found an E ticket - as if this hadn't already dinosaur. At that junction, I turned left, passing a been the ride of my life.Turning around, I soon topiary dolphin; then right (east) again at the learned that I was not alone. I was, in fact, stand­ rocks. And, suddenly, I was standing on the big ing nose-to-nose with LeChuck himself. black X that marked the spot. It got worse. A lot worse. LeChuck, who Big Whoop was, at last, below my very had obviously sat through way too many "Star feet. Little did I know then that my troubles were Wars™ " marathons, opened with the cheapest just about to get a whole lot worse. shot in the history of psychologic.al warfare. He told me that he was my brother. (As if this was a CHAPTER FOURTEEN: good reason not to kill him.) He also had a voodoo doll with my name on it, which he used I kick butt. Again. remorselessly lo torture me. (Some brother .... ) It got out my trusty old shovel, and began to dig. I was clear that I would have to fight fire with fire. 1had gone several feet, thinking that I would I would build a doll of my own. soon hit a box or chest of some sort, when my I explored the bunker, with LeChuck in shovel hit a solid object .. . that is, a solid concrete constant pursuit. Passing the elevator, I found a wall. couple of storage rooms. The first contained a No problem: I just used the matches to helium tank and a broken grog machine. Out of light the little bundle of dynamite, and threw it habit, I hit the coin return on the machine ... and a into the hole. After the dust cleared, I was stand­ coin rolled out. Hmm. If LeChuck was really my ing on a pedestal inside what appeared to be a brother, he'd find that coin hard to resist. . concrete bunker. There was a comfortably large As I expected, LeChuck soon materialized hole in the ceiling over my head. And, on a sec­ before me, wielding his ghastly little doll. Then ond pedestal nearby, there was a wooden chest. he noticed the coin. As he bent to pick it up, I THE chest. quickly grabbed his underwear and gave him a Working quickly, I used the rope and wedgie that left him walking even funnier than crowbar together, and threw them over the twist­ usual. It didn 't make him any less angry, mind ed metal rods above me. Holding onto the rope, I you, but at least I had a piece of his clothing for swung over to the other pedestal to grab the trea­ my voodoo doll. sure. I'm not exactly sure what happened next-a In the second storage room were hundreds wind came up!-yeah, that's it, a gust of wind of boxes-boxes of dolls, boxes of balloons, boxes grabbed me ... anyway, a moment later I was of root beer. Since I knew from bitter experience hanging by the rope, clutching the treasure chest. that the root beer was useless, I helped myself to a I was too far up to fall, and too loaded down to doll and balloon. Then I moved down the hall to climb. I was swinging there, plotting my esc.ape, the First Aid room, a creepy-looking place fur- Hint Book 71

nished with all the usual instruments of The next time LeChuck appeared, medical torture. In the trash can, I found a I greeted him with Stan's clean, white two used surgical gloves. There was a syringe hanky in hand. It took a few tries to get him to in the drawer (which, I thought, would do nicely notice it before he whipped out that agonizing as a voodoo pin) . Lastly, I took the skull of one of doll, but eventually he took the hint and wiped the skeletons on the couch. If LeChuck and I real­ his nose before getting down to business. That ly were brothers, then Dad's dead head would was all I needed. I stuffed the hanky into the pink come in quite handy. juju bag, and threw in the generic voodoo doll. With LeChuck harassing me almost con­ Seconds later, I was ready to end LeChuck's mis­ stantly, I returned to the first storage room, filled erable existence once and for all. up the balloon and both surgical gloves with heli­ With the doll in one hand and the syringe um, and went to the elevator. There was a 900- in the other, I waited for LeChuck. The very pound crate in the elevator, but with the helium instant he appeared before me, I used the syringe balloons in my pocket, I was just light enough to with the doll. The effect was immensely gratify- evade the elevator's overload mechanism. ing. LeChuck, as usual, was right behind me. As he LeChuck was gone for good. tried to board the elevator, I quickly flipped the My parents were very much alive. lever, trapping his beard in the door. I put the lit­ And life seemed as happy and carefree as a tle fibers into the juju bag with the underwear child's Sunday visit to an amusement park .. . and the skull. Just one more ingredient to go ...... at least for the moment. PLA.Y ffioNK.ey lsLA.Nb 2: LEChuCK.'s Re-ve-Nc;e-

~ VQA 256-color art ~ Completely interactive music system: iMuse™ ~State-of-the-art graphic adventure design ~ Point 'n click interface ~ Laugh so hard milk comes out your nose

Illiteracy-based icon system

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