Simpson's Script Treehouse of Horror
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Simpson’s script Treehouse of horror Intro (Scene starts with a title shot of a darkened studio and the shadows of one man and two other outlines) Announcer: live from sunny California it’s the late night. Heres your host Conan o’ Brian (Lights turn on and Conan is at his desk as the crowd cheer) Conan: thank you. Thank you. Oh please stop. NOW. (Crowd stops cheering) Conan:ok tonight we have two special guests. Please welcome kang and kodos. (Kang and kodos are sitting next to him) Kodos: thank you. Conan: so kang, how’s life? Kang: well, we live on our beautiful planet of Rigel 4 and…. Conan: so it’s true what they say. The grass is greener on the other side. Get it. Green. Ha ha ha ha. (Audience laugh, as Kang and Kodos get mad) (Scene changes to kang and kodos in Conan’s seat and Conan is gone) Kang: Hello. Welcome back to the kang and kodos show. After the break we’ll be meeting with sir William shatner. Kodos: what! That man drank my white wine collection. I’ll squeeze it out of him if I.. Oh. See you. (Conan appears battered and bruised in front of the camera) Conan: well be right ba..(He falls on the floor as the treehouse of horror symbol shows up) (Cut to the Simpson’s as bats flying onto the couch and they turn back to vampires yet homers replaced by Dracula) First story: brat to the future 1st scene Simpson’s home. (Homer and Marge are looking at their school year book) Homer: look at this (Homer sees a picture of a young him callasposed on a football field) Homer: look. (Homer sees another picture of a young him collapsed on a tennis court) Homer: oh look (Homer sees another picture of himself collapsed in a lunch hall) Homer: Wow. Good times. Marge: imagine we went back. Homer: yeah (Bart opens the door) Bart: im going to see the professor Marge: take your time dear. (Door slams) Homer: Marge. Remember when I hit the dean. Marge: that was 2 weeks ago. (Bart walks through a lab filled with devices and things) (A Vincent price like hunchback goes up to Bart) Vincent: ah yes. Ah yes. Ah yes (Bart yells) (A professor that looks like the one in back to the future walks in) Professor: oh don’t worry Bart. Vince here is retiring soon. Vincent: yes. Free bus fare. Ah he. Ah he. Ah he. (Bart and the professor are walking alone in the lab) Bart: wow this place is cool. Professor: yes. I have a lot to show you. (The two walk up to a box) Professor: Bart this is a box I got from an old friend of mine. Don’t know where he went. Complete jackass. (A voice comes from inside the box of the professor from futurama) Voice: I heard that. Professor: shut up. You’ve been cancelled Voice: oh Bart: (looking off screen) cool. (He walks up to a car that looks like the back to the future car) Professor: that is my time travelling car. Where were going we don’t need roads. Bart: where’s that? Professor: Atlantis (A booing is heard off screen) Professor: stupid machines playing up. (Bart is inside the car fiddling with all the buttons) Professor: now be careful. (Bart notices a timer that says April 19th 1979) Bart: cool. (He hits the button and the car zooms off. It runs over the professor and disappears). Professor: (on the floor barley able to talk) help me. Vince: (walks on) not until a pay rise. Ah he. Ah he. Ah he. Scene 2 (Car suddenly appears on a cattle field) (Barts inside a bit dazed) Bart: wow I’m in the 70’s (Bart looks around and there’s a disco with a bouncer throwing out john travolta) John: hey what’s the big idea? Bouncer: sorry mr travolta. We cant make any more cocktails. John: Ah jez. I’ll sell my shirt. I’ll sing. (Singing) once I was afraid. I was petrified. I couldn’t live with.. (A disco ball comes out of nowhere and hits him. He falls on the ground) aw jezz. (Switch back to Bart) Bart: wait im young. Im single. Im stuck in 1979. Oh baby. (Scene switches to Bart trying on Austin powers suit with the Austin powers music playing. Then he’s in the middle of a street dancing doing all 60’s moves like Austin powers) Bart: wait that’s the 60’s. (Looking off screen) oh my god its dad. (Young homer is outside school with young Barney) (Bart runs into them) Bart: hey its homer. Homer: hey its Shirley temple. Male style. What can I do? Bart: um are you in love. Homer: I sure am. With her. (Scene changes to Marge holding a sign-saying Uncle Sam hates nam. With a picture of an American pointing at an Asian child). Bart: Aren’t you a little late. Homer: nope. Bart: uh oh I changed history. Homer marry that woman. Homer: I try but she doesn’t notice me. Bart: then invite her round. Make up some French excuse. Homer: ok (walks off) Bart: excellent. Muh ha ha ha. Scene 3 (Bart is waiting by the lockers and homer walks in) Bart: so. Homer: well (homer turns his face and its purple) Bart: yeesh. With that face you could be an ompaa lompaa. Homer: a what Bart: uh oh. We are heading back in time every minute. (Charlie Chaplin is nibbling at Barts shoe) Bart: hey get off those. Homer you have to go to the prom or else well be bowing down to Pocahontas. Homer: not Pocahontas. (Pause) who? (Homer is at the prom with Bart) Homer: are you sure this will work? Bart: sure. Now stand right in the middle. (The people are all doing the Charleston while World War II music is playing). (Bart is backstage). Bart: now to trick someone. (Goes up to the guitarist) Bart: hey al Capone wants to see you. (Guitarist yells and runs dropping his guitar) Bart: hey that wasn’t even my trick. (Bart picks up the guitar) Bart: lets ration. (Bart starts playing ‘Johnny be good’ and trashing the stage and people stare at him) Bart: oh forget it. (He throws the guitar at homer and hits him in slow motion. homer falls on the ground) (Homers eyes open and Marge is in front of him) Marge: oh are you alright? Homer: I am now (Bart shows up) Bart: what did I miss? (Scene changes to the three by the car) Bart: Well see you Marge: never forget you. We should name our first born after you. What’s your name? Bart: um. Ivana tucuss. (Homers inside fiddling with the buttons) Homer: what’s this (he presses the button) Bart: don’t touch tha.. (The car disappears with Bart and Marge) (Back to the present day and normal homer is sleeping in his hammock when the car appears) Homer: will you keep it down. I… huh? (Young homer and Marge step out the car. Homer stares at young homer) Young homer: huh (Normal Marge walks in the garden) Marge: Ivana. Lunch is… oh my. Young Marge: wow. Are my hips that size? Normal homer: wait two of us. Two of them. He he he. (Scene changes to the two homers in hammocks chinging their beer cans and laughing and the two marges are mowing) Normal Marge: men. Bart: well im glad everything’s back to normal. (Camera zooms out and Bart is a baby) Bart: oh crap. Um I think I wet myself. Hello. AD BREAK Story two: 28 Toys Later (Bart, Lisa, Marge and Maggie are in the living room as Homer stumbles through the door carrying a sack) Homer: Hi kids. Marge: Homer, where have you been? Homer: Well first I went drinking, then more drinking, and then I remember being punched, more drinking and finally walking into the house with a bag of toys. (Homer opens the bag revelling lots of toys) Lisa: Wow! Bart: I love it when you’re drunk. Homer: Thanks. My doctor says drinking is good for me. (Dr Nick appears in the window) Dr Nick: It’s good for the mind, because it completely wipes it out. Marge: What are you doing? Dr Nick: I’m looking for used knives in your trash. Hey if you think this is bad, you should go to England. Homer: Been there got the T-shirt. (He holds up a T-shirt reading ‘I’ve been wasted in more countries than Boris Yelstin’) Bart: Dad the toys you got suck. Lisa: Yeah like Chinese Monopoly (Lisa holps up a box with the words ‘Chinese Monopoly’ with the words below ‘No winners, just us’) Lisa: Joan rivers operation (She sticks the tool in the game and Joan Rivers voice comes out) Joan: Hey, that parts worth more than your house Bart: And you got a Mel Gibson action doll. (Bart holds a doll in the shape of Mel Gibson a pulls the string at the back as Mel Gibson’s voice comes out) Mel: I blame the Jews myself. I’m not drunk I’m dizzy. Sugar tits. Bart: Dad these toys are terrible. Homers: No Godfather 2 was better. Lisa: What’s this? (Lisa picks up a doll, which looks like a gremlin doll) Lisa: Awww. Isn’t this cute. (The doll talks) Doll: Mogwai loves you. Bart, Lisa and Marge: Awww.