[No. 21]Torso-1989-063-001.Pdf
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EDITOR: MICHAEL LAMB CAT: NAG TYPOGRAPHICAL SURGEON: NGAWAIERUA SIMPSON ADVERTISING MANAGER: ANITA ANDRELL CAMERAS AND PIZZA ADVICE: JASON SCHULZ TECHNICAL EDITOR: CORNELIUS REDFERN-STONE DISTRIBUTION: JULIAN LA VALETTE YOU MAY WELL BE WONDERING WHY THIS NEWSPAPER SEEMS TAP-DANCER: HEATHER ANDERSON TO HAVE A DIFFERENT NAME EVERY WEEK. IS IT SOME KIND OF DECONSTRUCTIVIST JOKE I HEAR YOU ASK? OR ARE WE JUST TRY CRICKETER: PETER MALC0UR0NNE ING TO CONFUSE YOU? NEITHER. SIMPLY THAT THE NEWSPAPER MYSTERY GUEST: THE SWERVE COMMONLY KNOWN AS ‘CRACCUM’ HAS BEEN PUT TO SLEEP BY A PAINLESS INJECTION OF PARAQUAT. THIS WILL NO DOUBT UP NURTURING: TOPO GIGIO'S PIZZA PLACE SET A FEW PEOPLE WHO CLING TO THE PAST LIKE LINT CLINGS PRINTING: TE AWAMUTU COURIER TO A CHEAP SUIT, BUT THERE COMES A TIME WHEN THE BROOM MUST PASS THROUGH, SWEEPING ALL BEFORE IT INTO A NEW 'TOONS: ROGER LANGRDIDGE (KNUCKLES) AND EXCITING FUTURE. BESIDES, SINCE ‘CRACCUM’ WAS A REAR RANGED ACRONYM FOR SOME LONG GONE ‘AUCKLAND UNIVER SITY MEN’S COMMON ROOM CIRCULAR’, ITS UTILITY BARELY OUTLASTED ITS UGLINESS. NEXT YEAR OF COURSE ANYTHING, COULD HAPPEN, BUT I HOPE THE NEW REGIME PREVAILS. THE IDEA IS TO IMPROVE THE QUALITY OF YOUR NEWSPAPER TO THE POINT WHERE ADVERTISNG REVENUE CAN REDUCE (TO ZERO) THE COST BURDEN ON THE STUDENT’S ASSOCIATION. AFTER ALL WHY SHOULD YOU BE LEVIED EACH YEAR FOR AN OFTEN SUB-ST ANDARD PUBLICATION—AND WHY SHOULD YOU PAY TO BE DELIVERED TO THE ADVERTISERS? SO HERE IT IS: ‘TORSO’THE MAGAZINE OF THE STUDENT BODY. Torso published under the auspices of the Auckland University Student's Association, which also takes NO responsibili ty for the content» herein and are an awfully difficult bunch to sue anyway so don't even think about trying, even if you are Matlock, Please tv*? alt submissions, double spaced and single sided. Letter to The Editor may be left at A. U. S. A. reception or posted to: LETTERS............................... 3/4 c/o A. U. S.A. Private Bag, GLASSHOUSE.............................................................................. 5 Auckland, f i AM a i or: Level Two A. U. S.A Building HAIR '••♦••7 34 Princes Street TANGATA WHENUA.................................................... 8/9 j Auckland POETRY........... ...................... 10 Ph. 390-789 EXT 840 Fax. 3032236 SPORT................................................. 11 Advertising: Anita Andrell 390-789 Ext. 841 FEATURES/MUSIC...................... 12/13 DEADLINE is strictly Tuesday 5pm for all material, unless otherwise arranged. ENTERTAINMENT................................................... 14-19 AMAZON ARTICLES.................................... •*«*» NOTICES............................................................ 23 KNUCKLES ............. 24 M A C . T H E B l a c k c a t : s m a l l t a l k O f THAT § 1 Musical Condoms From the BritishSun newspaper comes the story of musical conDoms which are dub to be on sale in EnglanD by Christmas, Evi Dently they have a micro chip in the rim. Or* - • 7 r , r< " TORCHES ‘N’ SPEARS WINGS O F .. C An Open Letter to O n e th in g s I Whose rights? Cer corner gushes vitroil to Samoa by the the StuDents taking Despise more than tainly not those of like “those ............... Palangi. This ‘Cul 03. 100 Social An right wing bigotry is the group con Christians! ” tural Sensitivity’ is to thropology. left wing bigotry. I cerneD. Their free These people, a colonising cauca Despise it more be Dom of expression - who quite rightly sion religion. This EviDently some of cause the “liberals”, of existence even - is woulD never utter, group has strong you turneD off anD as many of them like only guaranteeD if say, a rascist or sex funDamentalist be tuneD out to the lec to be calleD, priDe they abanDon their ist comment, think liefs, well anD gooD ture on the Treaty of themselves on their beliefs anD embrace nothing of running freeDom to believe Waitangi at 5pm on open- minDeDness, the gays. roughshoD over the what you like, but August 1st. anD their commit W h a t th is sensibilities of Chris this group just 1 feel saDDeneD ment to the free ex scenario amounts to tians with the most Doesn’t Do that it at that you were either change of iDeas. is a form of left wing offensive religious tempts to evangilise DisturbeD by, or Recent events censorship which profanity im in a personal way boreD with the con have convinceD me, easily rivals any aginable. that is obviously ef tent or Delivery of however, that the other on its That’s their right fective in this in the lecture, anD re hackneyeD catch hypocrisy. just as, I suppose, stance in De minD you that what cry, “FreeDom of Now it is certain forcing others to politicising our stu someone has to say, speech anD iDeas” is ly reasonable to ex subsrcibe to their Dents association. rather than the m an little more than a pect people of views is also their This may be ok with ner of saying it is justification for Differing opinions to ‘right’. But let’s not politicos but other more important. guaranteeing the treat each other with confuse it for what it stuDents have founD Perhaps next time free expression of a respect anD Dignity. really is. Calling it them anD like you feel obligeD to secret few. After all, that is a “free speech” is more religions Damaging. snigger, play games, ConsiDer: A stu Christian principle than just a little mis It’s great that Differ or chat to your Dent club of 70 to which the “con nomer. I’D tenD to ing cultures form groups at University frienDs, you will members is Dis DemneD” group no call it left wing big anD iDentify ethni remember that some affiliateD because it Doubt subscribes. otry anD intolerance. cally, but the nature of us are DistracteD Does not conDone But to say they can The ultimate by such behaviour, homosexuality. not holD to a moral hypocrisy. of this group iDen tifying arounD en anD that you are free There’s a curious perspective other trencheD Pakeha to leave the room or irony here. The club than one which ac GRAHAM funDamentalist atti quietly sleep if you is accuseD of bigotry tively supports BLAIKIE tuDes is strange to wish. anD intolerance, anD homosexual acts, is Continuing the say the least. It is not for me or promptly DispatcheD the greatest form of Maraantha Debate, Where’s the political my generation to from the campus by manipulation. this Christian g ro u p nature of stuDents carry the torches of people intolerant of But this is where has been reaffiliateD tolerance, justice, anyone expressing a the Double stanDarD to the passifying gone? The first Decision anD unDerstanDing view contrary of leaps in with great StuDents Associa to Dissaffiliate was a into the 21st centu theirs. aDroitness. While tion. The argument gooD one. A fair so ry, anD 1 hope that AnD after the extolling the virtues of cultural sensitivi ciety allows all to ex those of you who DeeD is Done, every of free speech in one ty was the means of ist but we shoulDn’t closeD your minDs one smiles self- breath, it silences regaining some ap legitimise any op During the lecture Do righteously anD pats those who Disagree preciation for this pressive group. If not carry with you each other on the with it in the next. group anD its en the facts are that the th e sp e a rs o f ignorance back exclaiming, Out of one corner of Deavours. The facts group has stoppeD , intolerance, “Well, there’s the mouth comes are that Christianity evangilising that a n D b ig o try . another victory for lauDable epithets was introDuceD to freeDom anD in such as “We neeD to New ZealanD 150 woulD be goD, but that is only heresay DiviDual rights. ” be more tolerant”, years ago by the LIANNE HUGHES Whose freeDom? anD out of the other Pakeha anD earlier at this stage. J O’CO N N O R the Malevolent <£)! ** 51aet Mother-In-Law It niff; A BARE FORM O f BEAU TY •'harpy, w o rn ASK THE QUEEN DON’T PORK O’RORKE JONES IS DEAD Dear Craccum, If certain “unhappy pelled whilst trying Dear They have got it By the way, in residents” of to protect their girls’ C raccum really hard up at 1986 at Rochester O’Rorke hostel virtues by throwing O’Rorke hostel, ha and Rutherford Hall sp en t less tim e eggs from 10 floors Congratulations on ven’t they? I can just in Christchurch, a whinging and spew above them, the the E lvis a rtic le . imagine how being young man choked ing off balconies punishment was Spot on! harassed for damag to death on his own and more time on hardly unjust. The Re the gang article. ing rooms, throwing vomit. A year later, their grammar then same goes for the Drop the sycophan water around, having (my year) another maybe they could other expellee whose tic liberal approach food fights, chuck person fell from a get their views about last warning was for laDs. G angs ta k e ing things out of third story window. the “endless restric throwing wild “let’s- priDe in being a n ti windows, vomiting tions” into per squeeze-all-the- so c ia l. M o n s ie u r at toilets and out L O V E A N D spective. toothpaste-we-can- Jones is DeaD right - windows and clog KISSES Firstly, rules about find” parties and us they’re scu m , n o t ging other peoples SHANE HOLMES footwear in the din ing the fifth floor worthy o f se rio u s lungs with unwant ing room, taking fod balcony as a toilet.