October 25, 2019 | Volume XVII, Issue 11 4th demonstrations at In- Lived dependence Hall in Phila- large – delphia. In those days be- Bradley REMEMBERING Bradley Grant fore Stonewall, few people Grant had the courage to publicly by Jim Becker rived, their focus was not the neighbor’s proclaim their homosexual- Baltimore native and pre-Stonewall gay attempted murder; instead they arrested ity by marching in a demon- activist Bradley Grant died on October Bradley for holding a disorderly party. In stration urging justice for 11th at Gilchrist Hospice in these pre gay-liberation gay people. But Bradley Towson. He was diagnosed days this response by can be seen in photos of with lung cancer in 2016 Bradley Grant, the authorities was com- the event picketing with the and was able to live inde- who died October mon – -arrest the victim other courageous lesbians pendently and with much if that person happened and gay men, placard in his enthusiasm until ten days 11th, was a larger- to be queer. wounded hand wrapped in before his death. than-life figure Bradley was not bandages. Courage indeed! In 1968, Bradley held a about to be a victim – it Bradley was one of Bal- birthday party in his home on Baltimore’s was not in his DNA. He timore’s true characters, ex- in Dundalk with his many used this indignity as tremely outgoing – “larger gay friends, some of whom gay scene – and motivation for action! He than life” his friend Scott Ma- were extravagant, and his its unofficial contacted the Washing- cLeod said – and could easi- next-door neighbor was ton, DC, Mattachine So- ly command a room. Another not pleased. The outraged photographer ciety, met with someone friend, who occasionally took neighbor came over to his in Washington – likely him to his medical appoint- house and shot him. Fortunately, the bul- legendary activist Frank Kameny – and ments, described him enter- let hit his arm, wrist, and hand causing less than two weeks later joined them in ing the large waiting area at no serious damage. When the police ar- their annual Day of Remembrance July —continued on page 4 —continued on page 4

Reynaldo Piniella & Ryan Jamaal Swain in ‘A Beautiful Thoughts of a Colored Man An interview at Center Stage with ‘Thoughts credit: Michael Time to Be Davis in Keenan Scott of a Colored II’s Thoughts Man’ star Ryan Black’ of a Colored Man, Swain has Jamaal Swain By Frankie Kujawa brought intensi- James Baldwin once said, ty, light, and grace to his work. In Balti- “Fires can’t be made with more Center Stage’s Thoughts of a Col- dead embers, nor can en- ored Man (running through November thusiasm be stirred by 10th), Swain joins an extraordinary en- spiritless men. Enthusiasm semble that showcases the vibrant inner in our daily work lightens life of being Black, proud, and thriving in effort and turns even la- the 21st Century. Swain recently spoke bor into pleasant tasks.” exclusively with Baltimore OUTloud re- It’s evident in the first few garding this must-see production. minutes of meeting actor Frankie Kujawa: What can audi- Ryan Jamaal Swain, that ences expect from Thoughts of a Col- the dynamic performer is ored Man? the sheer embodiment of Ryan Jamaal Swain: I think what au- Baldwin’s words. From his diences learn to love from this piece is powerful performance as that it paints black culture – black men Damon on FX’s “Pose” to and black women – as poly-lith and not his magnetic role as Love —continued on page 12 2 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com local news Knife-Wielding Man May Be Targeting Transwomen in DC

By Lou Chibbaro, Jr knife and demanded the victim’s proper- Reprinted by permission of the ty and vehicle,” according to an October Washington Blade 15th police statement. “The victim com- Washington, DC – DC police are seeking plied and the suspect fled the scene in help from the public in identifying a male the victim’s vehicle,” the statement says. suspect who allegedly met two transgen- The statement says that on Tuesday, der women through a dating app known October 15th, the second victim and the as Tagged and forced one of them to turn suspect arranged through the Tagged over her car at knifepoint and stabbed app to meet at the same location at 4238 and robbed the other victim. Police re- 4th Street SE at approximately 3:32 am. “Once at the listed location, the suspect brandished a knife and assaulted the victim inside of a vehicle,” the statement says. “The suspect then fled the scene with the victim’s property,” it says. “The victim sustained non-life threatening in- juries and was transported to an area hospital for medical treatment.” The statement says the suspect in the case from October 7th was captured by a surveillance camera and can be Suspected man in transwoman attacks, according to DC cops seen in photos released by DC police. “The suspect in both cases is described as a black male who is 6 foot to 6 foot 2 ports for the two incidents say the perpe- in height, with medium complexion,” ac- trator, believed to be the same person, cording to the statement. “The Metropol- met the first victim through the Tagged itan Police Department is investigating app and arranged to have her pick him these cases as potentially being relat- up on October 7th at approximately 4:45 ed,” the statement continues. “In each of am in a parking lot at an apartment build- the above cases, transgender individuals ing at 4238 4th Street SE. “Once at the were victimized after utilizing the Tagged listed location, the suspect brandished a online application,” it says, adding that department’s Special Liaison Branch is assisting in the investigation. Lt. Brett Parson, who heads SLB, told the Blade the LGBT Liaison Unit, which is part of the SLB, is participating in the Skip investigation. Anyone who can iden- Peacock tify the suspect shown in the pho- tos released by police should call 202-727-9099 or text their tip to the department’s Text Tip Line at 50411, the statement says. t (The original article may be found at Washing- tonblade.com/2019/10/16/1-trans- woman-stabbed-another-carjacked- after-dating-app-meeting) k

Skip Peacock

On September 16th, Skip Peacock – aka Tia Chambers – passed away from kidney failure. She was a beloved member of our community and our 1991 and 1992 Queen of Pride. At the time of press no other information was available but have been told by family they are working on his celebration of life. As soon as we get it, we will publish it. RIP Skip – we love you. t —continued on page 4

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 3 local news

it to its original Victorian appearance cancer diagnosis, he joined the Edge- – including a parlor ceiling mural, gas wood Senior Center. He became a regu- lighting and tall pocket doors. I painted a lar participant in the Zumba classes and REMEMBERING Bradley Grant mural for Bradley’s exotic garden that he in typical fashion, he stood out with this said he treasured always, even after he group of mostly women of his vintage —continued from page 1 Unfortunately, Brazil would not grant him sold the home. Always unconventional, that embraced him and sent him get-well the Kaiser Medical Center in Woodlawn permanent resident status so he was always ahead of his time.” cards daily. and announcing “All medical treatments confined to six months in Brazil and six Bradley was active in neighborhood Bradley is survived by a cousin Bar- are half price until 3 pm!” He brought joy months in Baltimore each year. A snow- affairs in the Eutaw Place community. bara Griffith; goddaughter Christine Ma- and humor to so many people. As long- bird, he made his trips to Brazil to coin- He was very proud that he convinced the ranville; friends including Allen. Bonnie time friend Bill Bixler said, “Bradley was cide with the cold weather in Baltimore. city to repair the gorgeous fountain in the Thomson, Marianne Hill, Andrew Collet- the prince of many universes.” Bradley was born June 23rd, 1945. Druid Hill Park Reservoir. The fountain ta, Michael Carpenter, Scott MacLeod, Bradley was well-known in the Balti- He often said that he was born in the Hol- had been in disrepair for years. As a re- and his new friends from his Zumba more underground gay community of the land Tunnel travelling from New York to sult of his consistent persistence, the city class. 1960s and 70s, and because he had a New Jersey but his birth certificate reads repaired and re-lit the fountain. Sadly, A memorial service will be held but camera, documented many of the events Hoboken, New Jersey, the fountain has been destroyed as part the details had not been finalized at of this outlaw scene. of a major reconfiguring of the reservoir. press time. t His slideshow Shortly after Bradley learned of his of 60s and 70s Baltimore’s secret gay life showed a thriv- ing community of lesbians and gay men living their lives with ‘A Guiding Light’ joy despite the By Scott MacLeod danger of dis- During the summer of 2017, I had the privilege to be invited to a slideshow retro- covery by the spective of Baltimore’s nascent gay scene in the 1960s and 70s, which had been straight world. painstakingly recovered from decades of photographs taken by Bradley Grant. It He photographed revealed a secret world unbeknownst to me as a late-era baby-boomer – a world young gay men, that existed in some other time beyond the surface of my imagination and peopled lesbians, and by strange brave bedfellows. Yet, this was the misshapen world I had inherited drag queens at upon coming out, now nearly lost to time. Bradley’s presentation opened my eyes parties and caus- and greatly deepened my respect for himself and all those who truly risked their ing mayhem at lives on the frontline of gay liberation to pave the way for generations to come. the Bickford’s Bradley was a larger-than-life familiar and fun-loving fixture inB altimore’s gay restaurant on Bradley Grant which is right at the New bars and community for as long as I can remember since my own coming out in Calvert Street after the bars closed (left) with friend Jersey end of the tunnel. the late 1970s. It was a revelation to learn of the early trauma that gave shape or on Halloween, at the annual Hair- Jim Becker His mother, Agnes, worked to his bold personality. The theatrical quality he lent to any occasion was on the dressers Ball and Druid Hill Park arts for many years tending grand scale of Hollywood’s best. His tongue-in-cheek wit and deadpan festival, and many other long-gone bar. His father, Stanley, delivery often elevated the room to a high level high points in the gay social calendar. was a soldier who died from injuries he of dramatic revelry. He was mischievous, so- Dennis Watson, a friend from the received during World War II just before licitous, and dead serious when the occasion 60s, remembers Bradley’s role in docu- Bradley was born. His father had bought called for it. Was it all a Great Mystery? Tight- menting the gay scene “as the photog- his mother a house in Dundalk and Brad- rope Suspense? High Drama? Romance? rapher for the gay community for many ley lived there with his mother until she Tragicomedy? Or, just plain Slapstick? With years.” He added, “Bradley was a free died in 1966. Bradley, it was all of the above, with a little bit spirit who loved to behave the way he Bradley attended Gray Manor Ele- of Horror Show tossed in for livening. In the saw fit and loved the attention he could mentary School, Dundalk High School, duality of our gay universe Bradley was both obtain from others. He was a true Balti- and graduated from the University of the Wizard and the man behind the curtain. (I morean who loved the city and its people Baltimore. He maintained contact with recall that one of his favorite films wasThe Lion from all walks of life.” friends from his childhood, including his in Winter.) Bradley was a true adventurer with a lifelong friend Allen Stockett; they met in I remember arriving to play music at a holi- penchant for those who lived on the fringe. elementary school when they were ten. day party for employees of a local nursing home To quote Laura Branigan’s 1984 gay an- Bradley continued to live in the in the 1990s, and, much to my surprise, was them “Self Control,” Bradley “lived among Dundalk home until 1975, when he and soon introduced to its administrator, Mr. Stan- the creatures of the night.” He felt espe- his longtime roommate Stanley Cockrell ley?? (Ha ha, the man behind the curtain!) – it Bradley Grant cially at home in Pigtown, Highlandtown, – a cosmetologist and well-known drag was Bradley Grant. As the party progressed Bradley joined his (right) with friend Hamden, South Baltimore, and Wilkens performer named Stella – purchased a employees in dancing to the popular line dance – the “Electric Avenue and came to know many friends large row house on Eutaw Street. The Slide.” It was obvious that Bradley was much-beloved by his during his jaunts through the streets of house had been turned into multiple mostly African-American staff, which took great joy in dancing and joking with him. these Baltimore neighborhoods. Because apartments and he and Stanley pains- It was a testament to his humanity that he shared the deep respect and camara- of his personal proclivities, he often said takingly restored it to a gorgeous sin- derie of those who toil in the trenches daily for low wages while bringing relief to that he had adopted safe play long before gle-family mansion. He and Stanley lived often forgotten members of our society. it was necessary to do so. there together with Stanley’s lover Sam While I was largely more an acquaintance than friend of Bradley, I shared in the During a vacation trip to Brazil about until Stanley died in 1991. fortune of his wide network of friends and felt welcome at the table. Even in a city the 20 years ago, Bradley fell in love with Rio. Michael Carpenter, a friend and artist size of Baltimore, the galaxy of stars in our gay universe is rather small. Bradley’s Each year he would make a trip there and who worked on Bradley’s Eutaw Street death burns like a bright shooting star that so briefly illuminates our night sky. It is no decided that he would move to Brazil house for him, remembers how much he surprise that Bradley remained a guiding light and maintained his wonderfully en- once he retired. After working for years as loved that home. He said, “Bradley was gaging presence up until the end of his life. It is truly the hallmark of who he was. t a nursing home administrator, he retired a jester and prankster. He so loved his about ten years ago and made his move. Eutaw Street townhouse that he restored 4 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com beyond the beltway

compiled by Jim Becker troduce-anti-homosexuality-act & Peter entire gay community as I know it at that you’ll remember me in better times and Tatchell Foundation & Pink News – John time – which isn’t much.” Hay, still mar- better light.” Becky Kugler, who identi- Milton at Pinknews.co.uk/2019/10/16/ ried himself, hosted several gatherings fied herself as Dorman’s sister on the so- Uganda may uganda-u-turns-kill-the-gays-bill-africa- ostensibly to discuss the book everyone cial media platform, confirmed the come- death-penalty ) was talking about but actually to promote dian’s death in a comment on Dorman’s have reversed his ideas for organizing. He found little original post. “It is with great sadness interest, even mockery and hostility, until and despair to hand out this information. plan to execute November 1950, when he and four oth- Sweet, sweet Daphne,” wrote Kugler, Was Stonewall ers founded the Mattachine Society, the who added she lives in Pennsylvania. gay people first enduring gay rights group in the US. “I so wish we could all have helped you possible Also shocking was how many Kinsey Kampala, Uganda – On October convinced to confide in him when a sin- 10th, Simon Lokodo, the Ethics and In- without Dr. gle sex act with another man could then tegrity minister of Uganda, announced lead to prison from one year in several in an interview with Reuters that he Alfred Kinsey? states to life in Connecticut, Georgia, planned to introduce to the Ugandan and Nevada. A pioneer in the documen- parliament a bill imposing the death pen- Charlotte, North Carolina – There tation of sexual behavior, Kinsey wrote: alty for same-sex relations and “promo- was a time when one out of every two “About 13% of the high school [educated] tion and recruitment” of homosexuality Americans Gallup polled knew Alfred level has admitted such experience [with in order to curb a rise in “unnatural sex.” Kinsey’s name, and to gay men and les- orgasm] after marriage and between the Fortunately, the government appears to bians he was a living hero, “the man who ages of 21 and 25. Only 3% of the mar- have had a change in heart on going for- made the homosexual movement possi- ried males of college-level have admitted ward with this so called “Kill the Gays” ble.” Kinsey died in 1956 at the age of homosexual experience after marriage – bill according to the Peter Tatchell Foun- 62. Finally, this year on June 27th, the mostly between the ages of 31 and 35. dation and Pink News in a post by John late bisexual Indiana University zoolo- Younger, unmarried males have regular- Milton on October 18th. LGBTQ activists gy professor’s name was finally immor- ly given us some record of sexual con- were wrapped in fear after Lokodo made talized where it should have been long tacts with older, married males.” Daphne Dorman– Trans activist and ago – in New York’s Stonewall Inn, along In 1953, his Sexual Behavior in the comedian with Harvey Milk, Edie Windsor, José Human Female appeared, exploding hal- Sarria, Christine Jorgensen, Bayard lowed myths about women’s sex lives, through your darkness. We’ll always love Rustin, et al., among the 50 individuals too. Frank Kameny applied various you, fly high sweet angel.” San Francis- on the permanent National LGBTQ Wall Kinsey statistics in his unprecedented co’s Office of Transgender Initiatives of Honor “Honoring Pioneers, Trailblaz- Supreme Court challenge to his 1957 fir- also tweeted confirmation October 11th ers, and Heroes” who “contributed to the ing by the Army Map Service for being of Dorman’s death and encouraged folks advancement of the LGBTQ community gay. Kinsey had begun publicly advocat- in need of support to reach out to support in a substantive way.” Next to Kinsey on ing for the repeal of laws against con- hotline Trans Lifeline or Trans:Thrive, a the wall is the late Harry Hay, who’d long sensual sodomy in 1949 and the late gay drop-in community center for the trans dreamed of an organization of gays and novelist Samuel Steward, who became community in San Francisco. gave Kinsey and his book credit for mo- close to Kinsey, called him “Dr. Pro- Professional profiles indicate Dor- his TV statement. But a spokesperson bilizing him in 1948. metheus,” adding, “He truly brought fire man, who also describes herself as a for President Yoweri Museveni said the Kinsey’s role is traceable to the and light to the world. We looked upon writer and actress, previously worked government has no plans to introduce birth of the gay rights movement in the him as a savior. He was the liberator. as director of operations for Philadel- the legislation. “There are no plans by US after the first effort by Henry Gerber He was our Stonewall.” Without Kinsey phia-based Actors Center, where she the government to introduce a law like and his Society for Human Rights was would a Mattachine have formed? Would taught improvisation and stage com- that,” Don Wanyama, President Museve- smothered to death by authorities in Chi- a Kameny have demanded equality? bat from 2003-05. She then launched ni’s senior press secretary told Reuters. cago in 1925. As Lambda Legal luminary Would the Stonewall riots have hap- her own web development agency and “We have the penal code that already Tom Stoddard once told the Washington pened? No doubt, yes. But I also don’t worked as a software engineer. Dorman handles issues of unnatural sexual be- Post, “Civil rights shouldn’t be a matter doubt that without Kinsey they wouldn’t recently was featured in comedian Dave havior so there is no law coming up.” of numbers, but they are.” Ours started have happened when they did. (Q Notes Chappelle’s live Netflix special “Sticks Uganda’s “Anti-Homosexuality Act” with Kinsey’s 1948 Sexual Behavior in Online – Michael Bedwell at goqnotes. & Stones,” which came under fire after was first passed by the parliament in Human Males based on interviews with com/64060/alfred-kinsey-was-our-stone- its August 26th release for including 2013 and signed into law by President wall-samuel-steward) anti-trans jokes and dismissing the con- Museveni in early 2014, only to be in- cerns of sexual assault victims. In foot- validated by the Constitutional Court of age added to the special, Chappelle de- Uganda on procedural grounds the same fends the content by saying a friend of year. According to Reuters, the govern- Trans comedian, his who is a trans woman was the person ment now plans to resurrect the act in “laughing the hardest” at his jokes. This the coming weeks, with a death penalty activist with person was Dorman, who appeared in foreseen not only for same-sex relations, but also for “promotion and recruitment” Philly roots of homosexuality Outright Action Inter- national noted in a press release. commits suicide These news notes have been compiled, Dr. Alfred Kinsey– sex researcher who Same-sex relations have been crim- with permission, from the online version brought us gay liberation inalized in Uganda since British colonial Philadelphia – Daphne Dorman, a of various newspapers and other web sites. We thank these publications for times, the advocacy organization notes, 5,300 men that shot to the top of the trans activist and comedian who was a allowing us to bring you their news sto- adding that Articles on “unnatural offens- New York Times bestseller list. Hay said Philadelphia native, died by suicide last ries. Usually the reports have been sig- weekend. She was 44 years old. “To es” and “indecent practices” have been of Kinsey’s study, “It was a shocker for nificantly edited and you can read the those of you who are mad at me, please retained in the Penal Code since inde- us because we had assumed that we full story by going to the web site men- pendence. “Carnal knowledge against were a few hundred in every city. Turned forgive me. To those of you who wonder tioned following the item. Comments the order of nature” between men current- out, we were thousands in every city that if you failed me, you didn’t,” Dorman are strictly the opinions of Jim Becker ly carries a maximum sentence of life in even he knew about. So, with my copy wrote on Facebook in the early hours of and not of Baltimore OUTloud or Pride prison. (Dallas Voice – Tammye Nash at of [the book] under one arm, a sheaf of October 11th. “To those of you feel like I Media. Dallasvoice.com/uganda-plans-to-re-in- papers under the other, I go through the failed you, I did and I’m sorry and I hope

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 5 beyond the beltway the credits of “Sticks & Stones. ing them, we were very careful to make an elder what they learned through their eties. According to SAGE, in the LGBTQ Dorman defended Chappelle and sure that they were located at spots that life in the LGBTQ / allied communities, in community, “Self-care is frequently more the Netflix show on Twitter. “As the tran- were very high profile and they were go- order to make sense of their place in the difficult for LGBT elders because they swoman he talks about in the epilogue, ing to operate safely…. We’re seeing a world today. The young LGBTQ / allied are much more likely to live on I’ll tell you that he 100% supports trans reduction in pedestrian collisions to the people expressed their joy and gratitude people,” she wrote. “And the LGBT com- point that they’re not really happening,” at the opportuni- munity. Comedy isn’t a documentary or Chang continued. “We would not have ty to connect with a sermon or a Ted talk. It’s comedy.” Ac- installed these [had they not been safe]. LGBTQ elders. cording to 2015 findings by the Williams They are very vibrant; they are loved by Wise words Institute at UCLA School of Law, 41% of the community, and people see them.” In were spoken by Col. trans or gender non-conforming people fact, the city has a Community Cross- Grethe Cammer- have attempted suicide compared to less walk program that allows neighborhoods meyer regarding the than 5% of the overall US population. to apply for a specially-painted cross- value of intergenera- (Philadelphia Gay News – Laura Smythe walk, Chang added. tional support: “If you at Epgn.com/news/national/15314-trans- “Our records are telling us that these are young enough, comedian-and-activist-with-philly-roots- crosswalks are safer than before and we being out is part of dies-by-suicide) want to continue that,” Chang said. The you just being; those city says it shares safety information with of us who are old- the Federal Highway Administration, and er and been through for now the rainbow crosswalks can stay the closet in and out unless the intersections where they are should not allow our- their Seattle to keep located become part of a federal roads selves to be put back own, have fewer financial resources, project. But even then they would hope in by anyone else.” The younger gen- and don’t necessarily trust their health its rainbow to work with the FHA to show the cross- erations were able to listen to inspiring care providers to treat them from a place walks work. Data from three years be- stories from Cammermeyer and others, of cultural competency.” Staying safe at despite Fed fore and three years after the crosswalks who helped the LGTBQ community be home can be challenging and danger- were painted show vastly improved pe- more visible. As emphasized through the ous for many older adults, which means claims destrian safety at those intersections. night, although the community was com- people must learn to recognize the signs (Seattle Gay News – Mike Andrew at ing together to celebrate, much more that indicate it’s no longer a safe option. Seattle – Seattle officials say local .sgn.org/sgnnews47_41/page1.cfm) work needs to be done. The celebration Here are some signs. Regarding medi- data contradicts assertions by the Trump itself was just that, and hopefully newly cation mismanagement are there mis- administration that rainbow crosswalks formed bonds between people of differ- takes with dosage and timing? Is there are unsafe, and the ones that were in- ent demographics and experiences will evidence of fires or has there been falls? stalled here will remain in place. Last ‘Aging with come together to advocate for true eq- Is it difficult to access upstairs bedrooms week the city of Ames, Iowa, revealed uity. (Seattle Gay News at Sgn.org/sgn- and showers? it had received a letter from the Federal Pride’ gala held news47_41/page8.cfm) Although many in the LGBTQ com- Highway Administration threatening to munity have created social support cut off federal money for roads unless in Seattle networks, social isolation is prevalent amongst the senior LGBTQ population Seattle – The inaugural Generations Is aging at which can lead to depression, mental Celebration on October 5th – presented and physical health issues, and even by the University of Washington’s Aging home the best mortality. Many LGBTQ seniors do not with Pride, Healthy Generations, and have children or support from blood the National LGBTQ Health and Lon- for LGBTQ family members to help them as they gevity Center, with co-sponsor GenPride get older. When staying at home is no – was a gala to recognize and honor people? longer the best option, senior housing our LGBTQ elders, link lives, and build communities such as assisted living bridges across generations and allies. Charlotte, North Carolina – Aging may work. They provide three nutritional The gala itself represented the unity of at home is certainly a viable option for meals daily, a social life, companionship Safer for pedestrians?– Seattle says yes, generations. It formed and nurtured a many seniors, but what about when it’s and wellness opportunities; the sense of while Trump’s transportation bureaucrats space of interconnectedness across not the safest, healthiest or most cost-ef- community, friendship, and activity boost claim colorful crosswalks cause confusion generations and identities. People from fective option for a person’s situation? all walks of life and experience came to- According to Genworth, after age 65, its rainbow crosswalk – installed to mark gether in a welcoming and accepting en- there is nearly a 7% chance a senior will Pride this year – was removed. The let- vironment with the purpose of breaking need some form of senior care. A study ter asserts that rainbow crosswalks don’t down what makes us different and em- of 2,560 LGBTQ adults aged 50 to 95 comply with federal safety standards and bracing our commonalities. The purpose across the US by author Karen Fredrik- could be a distraction for drivers and pe- to embrace one another as individuals sen-Goldsen, professor at the University destrians. Ames officials said they would and provide a safe, loving, and honest of Washington’s School of Social Work, ignore the letter. Seattle has received a environment for people to build connec- found that the LGBTQ participants had similar letter and is also ignoring the fed- tions with one another was achieved. greater rates of disability, depression, eral order. It received a similar letter in This sold-out community-forming and loneliness compared with hetero- 2015, during the Obama administration. event was attended by adults of all ages, sexuals of similar ages. The idea of LGBT elders may need to rally a social According to Seattle City traffic en- and stories. Singing, food, laughs, and aging at home may not be realistic for support network if family isn’t close gineer Dong Ho Chang, Seattle has 11 even dance moves were shared. Multiple some, thus making it all the more import- rainbow crosswalks in the Capitol Hill speakers of different generations shared ant to know what senior housing options mental and emotional health. (Theresa neighborhood alone. Similar cross- their experiences as LGBTQ people, are available. Robertson is a Certified Senior Advisor walks painted in African-liberation col- unifying the gala in solidarity. A key part It’s important for seniors and their and senior housing specialist with Oa- ors adorn crosswalks in the Central of this celebration was the dialogue be- families to consider three common con- sis Senior Advisors.) t (Q Notes On- District. “They’ve been used other lo- tween generations in an exercise called cerns associated with aging at home: line – Theresa Robertson at Goqnotes. cations across the US and the world,” Building Bridges. Younger LGBTQ / al- safety, health and costs. Knowing senior com/64036/aging-at-home/) Chang said. “And when we were deploy- lied adults shared their stories and asked housing options can help alleviate anxi-

6 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com thinking outloud quality of life // Health and Wellness

why it’s so important to look out for black transgender women. Treatments for Discomfort The logical deduction I am making Disrupting from this feedback is that if the cops don’t know these things about us then A Bias neither do other people that interact with During Intimacy discussion Johanna M. Dolan us – from lawmakers to educators, from healthcare providers to human service Q: Intimacy has become more and more ulates increased with Dr. providers, from bankers to lawyers, etc. uncomfortable. Can laser treatments re- moisture in the Talking with etc. etc. The list goes on and on and on. ally help? vaginal canal, re- Andrew Heck! I didn’t understand these things A: In most cases, yes! Specialized laser ducing dryness and until I needed to either. treatments have shown to be highly effec- discomfort during London Police I needed to understand because my tive for reducing discomfort during inter- intimate relations. “Privilege is presuming to speak life depended upon it. Then the people course, especially for menopausal women. It can also improve of Belcara for others you know nothing about.” – I served lives depended on it. In very Painful sex, clinically known as “dyspa- the appearance of DaShanne Stokes much the same way that the police of- reunia,” can be caused by a wide range of the external tissues Health ficers I’ve been working to educate un- physical and psychological conditions, but of the vagina and to In December 2018 Corporal Erica Mah- derstood before asking me to come train the primary cause is vaginal dryness, a com- help correct some looseness of the vagi- an from the Anne Arundel County Police them. Lives depend on us working to- mon symptom of menopause. Menopause nal opening. Department Training Academy reached gether to understand, change, and heal. is a natural biological process that occurs Treatments are performed with a hand- out the Maryland LGBT Chamber of Com- The benefit of learning this informa- when a woman’s men- held device that addresses merce seeking a trainer to conduct LGBT tion personally is that I no longer fight strual cycles end, usually the superficial and deep skin Cultural Awareness classes to all police myself. It’s helped me to heal. I’m a bet- somewhere around age layers simultaneously, with officers during their annual in-service ter person. And I have more ability to 50. During menopause, highly precise control – very trainings. I was one of the trainers the contribute to the world because I’m not the body’s natural pro- important for this intimate Chamber recommended. afraid of being found out anymore. I’m duction of estrogen de- area. For most women, only What I’ve since learned is that the discovering that this is the way it is for creases. Estrogen is a three treatment sessions are hormone that is largely Training Academy had been conducting others also. required, performed four to responsible for a wom- diversity training for the County officers The benefit of teaching it to allies, six weeks apart, with occa- an’s physical capacity to for several years as part of Chief Timo- police departments, and companies is sional touchups after a year produce the vaginal lubri- thy Altomare’s fair and impartial policing that with greater understanding comes or two, if needed. The proce- cants needed for sexual mandate. Learning about the many com- greater empathy and greater freedom dure itself takes only two to enjoyment. The decrease munities that make up the county gives for all Marylanders. And more spaces four minutes, with minimal the officers a better understanding of of estrogen causes vag- where police of- to no discomfort. who’s in their community inal tissues to become ficers are not to By restoring health and how they can best thin, dry, and less elastic, be feared but Dr. Andrew and balance to the vaginal serve the entire commu- making sexual intercourse recognized as London tissues, laser treatments nity. They started with painful and unappealing. It allies in building correct the conditions that training to improve race can also cause vaginal irritation and the better communi- cause painful intercourse relations and then moved leaking of urine with laughing, coughing, ties. from vaginal dryness so women can en- into the different cultures. or sneezing. joy sex once again. It has quickly become Last year they learned According There are several traditional treatments a popular solution for women seeking a about Hispanic culture. to the Human for vaginal dryness associated with meno- non-invasive, comfortable, drug-free solu- This year they’ve been Rights Cam- pause, including moisturizers, lubricants, tion and has shown to be successful for learning about us. paign Maryland vaginal estrogen supplements, and bioiden- nearly 90% of women experiencing sexu- The top three things I is “Solidifying tical hormone therapies. Unfortunately, top- am told by the police offi- Equality.” The ical products must be used continuously to al discomfort. And, it should be noted that cers I’ve taught are: Human Rights offer relief and many women are not willing this treatment is not limited to menopausal 1) They didn’t know what it means to Campaign defines Solidifying Equality to take estrogen products, due to the in- women. Any woman experiencing vaginal be LGBTQ. They didn’t know that gender as states that “generally have several convenience and the potential cancer risk. dryness, irritation, or mild incontinence, or and sexual orientation are on a spec- basic measures of equality, including There are some cancers that feed on es- looseness of the vagina could benefit from trum. They don’t know our language. That non-discrimination protections or an- trogen, therefore adding more estrogen into this treatment. also means they didn’t know that gender ti-bullying laws. Advocates work to en- the body could give cancer cells (hidden or The first step is selecting the right identity doesn’t equal gender expression sure the broad implementation of these known) fuel for growth. practice and doctor. It is extremely im- or biological sex. Nor did they know that laws while advancing laws concerning Today, however, women have a new, portant to seek help from a qualified, gender doesn’t equal sexual orientation parenting, youth, health, and safety to long-term solution for relief. Laser treat- board-certified specialist before starting until they took my class. There’s no rea- achieve full equality for the LGBTQ com- ments, such as CO2re Intima, provide a any treatment because you will feel more son they should know these things – we munity.” That means our state, Mary- drug-free, minimally-invasive way to pre- confident about your results when you aren’t taught these things in school. Not land, is in a state of change. It’s going vent and reduce the discomforts of painful have confidence in your medical team. even those of us who are sexual orienta- to take all of us – the entire village – to sex, vaginal irritation, and mild urinary in- Remember, the sooner you seek help, the tion and gender minorities are taught this. positively influence the change. continence. There is no hormonal activity sooner you can resume a healthy, reward- We have to seek it out. Anne Arundel County police officers with this treatment, making it a safe solution ing sex life. t 2) They didn’t know our past. They will be continuing training on diversity for cancer patients and anyone who doesn’t Dr. Andrew London is a board-certified didn’t know our history of police interac- long after my year with them is up. Sgt. want to use traditional hormone therapy. obstetrician and gynecologist, specializ- tions. They don’t know us. Until they sat Adrienne Pugh is educating current re- The CO2re Intima laser uses fractional ing in women’s sexual wellness at Belcara in my class, they didn’t understand the cruits so that this year, and in years to carbon dioxide (CO2) technology and deliv- Health. Trained at the University of Mary- spectrum of responses and experiences, come, all incoming recruits will receive ers light energy to the tissues in and around land and Johns Hopkins, he completed a from fear and hate-fueled to love-fueled education on LGBTQ issues and how the vagina. The laser energy stimulates the pelvic surgery fellowship at Union Memo- responses, that exist within the LGBTQ to positively interact with us before they body’s own healing response to promote rial Hospital. In addition to seeing patients community to anyone of us coming out. graduate from the academy. increased collagen production. This natural at Belcara Health, he is associate director 3) They reported walking away from But wait! There’s more! You’ll just healing response improves the soft tissue of the Maryland Center for Sexual Health class with new ideas about how to interact have to connect with me next time to tone, texture, and appearance in the vagi- and is an assistant professor of OB/GYN with the diverse LGBTQ community and hear just what. t nal canal and over the external vulva (when at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine. treated). In addition, the laser energy stim-

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 7 quality of life // Health and Wellness

Cardiovascular: the different ways alcohol affects • High blood pressure the body? • Increased risk of stroke Feeling Better • Heart failure, usually at age 45-60 Open Wide • Peripheral vascular disease: poor Dear Feeling Better, ask Dr Eva blood circulation, especially in the legs. Most people understand that Dr Eva Hersh Stomach – H. pylori, a type of bac- alcohol is dangerous when it be- teria, is the main cause of stomach ul- comes an addiction, but many don’t cers, but ulcers are much more com- know about the toxic effect’s alco- mon in drinkers. Alcohol also causes hol has even for people who are not How Alcohol heartburn (gastro-esophageal reflux). physically or psychologically depen- Liver – Alcohol injures the liver. dent on it. Affects Your With ongoing drinking, the liver shrinks Alcohol is a drug, not a food. It is and hardens. This puts pressure on a poison. Like many prescription and veins in the liver, causing back-up of Body street drugs, it is usually safe in small blood into the veins of the esophagus amounts, but large amounts (swallowing tube.) The swollen veins can be deadly. Beyond burst easily, especially with vomit- Dear Dr. Eva, Women are more sen- ing, and the bleeding is hard to stop. I don’t have a drinking sitive to alcohol than men. moderation, Hemorrhage from esophagus veins problem and never have. A This is at least partly be- is one of the ways alcohol causes few months ago, I decided it’s demon cause women have smaller sudden death. to stop drinking because livers. The liver breaks down Pancreas – The pancreas I was gaining weight and brew alcohol and detoxifies it. Old- makes insulin and digestive en- I know alcohol has a lot er people also have increased zymes. Alcohol damage to the pan- of calories. I used to have two to three risk of alcohol-related problems. Alco- creas causes diarrhea due to lack drinks several days a week. hol-related health problems are likely of digestive enzymes. Irritation of I’m amazed at how much better I if women, and men over 65, drink more Your water the pancreas causes severe abdomi- feel physically after stopping alcohol. I than seven drinks a week and if men un- doctor agrees glass, or vodka, tequila, nal pain. With ongoing alcohol use, the stopped getting headaches, my sleep is der 65 have more than 14 drinks a week. whiskey or scotch from cells that make insulin are destroyed, better, I don’t have problems with heart- One drink means 12 ounces of beer, five anything bigger than a shot glass is us- causing diabetes. burn anymore and I was able to stop tak- ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces (less than ing an unhealthy amount of alcohol. Any- Cancer – as little as one drink a ing sleeping pills and medicine for reflux. ¼ cup) of 80 proof liquor. Someone who one who drinks wine or liquor straight day increases the risk of cancer, in- Even a rash I couldn’t seem to get rid of drinks beer from a pitcher, wine from a has healed up. Can you write about all from the bottle will drink more than they cluding cancers of the mouth, throat, realize. vocal cords, esophagus, liver, pancre- These are some of the physical ef- as, breast, colon, and lungs. The more fects of alcohol: a person drinks, the greater the cancer risk. General health Alcohol poisoning – people who • Malnutrition. As you mention, alco- drink a large amount of alcohol in a short hol has a lot of calories. For some peo- time may die of a heart attack, especial- ple, drinking causes weight gain. For ly if they aren’t used to heavy drinking. others, the calories in alcohol, which are This happens most often to young men nutritionally empty calories, like calories during drinking contests and fraternity from sugar, become a replacement for initiations. food, leading to malnutrition. Alcohol is the third most common • Increased risk of infections. preventable cause of death in the US. Saturday October 26, • Mood: alcohol is a mood depres- More than 85,000 deaths a year are 10p.m. sant, contributing to depression and anx- due to alcohol related illnesses, traffic UNDERWEAR NIGHT Sunday Oct. 27, iety. Many suicides, especially in men, deaths, drowning, and suicides. Many of happen when the suicide victim is drink- these deaths happen to, or are caused W/ DJ CAPTAIN JOE GUITAR BAR AND SING-ALONG 7:00 PM - 11:00 PM ing. by, people who aren’t alcoholic but have Friday November 1, 10p.m. • Blood: alcohol causes anemia and drunk too much one time or over a brief #KIKI: Dance Party increased bleeding. period. • Bones: alcohol causes osteoporo- Alcohol is a dangerous drug. Even if and Drag Show sis, thinning of the bones. Alcohol also you don’t have alcohol dependency, al- A SILLY SHOW increases the risk of falls. Both these ef- cohol can make you sick and increase fects result in broken hips and other bro- your risk of death as well as your risk ken bones. Alcohol users are also much of harming others. Monitor your drinking more likely to have gout, a painful form and the drinking of people you’re close of arthritis. to. If you’re not sure whether alcohol is • Brain and nervous system: alcohol harming you, stop drinking for at least a damages the nerves. Daily drinking can month and see if your health or your feel- result in loss of sensation and muscle ing of well-being improves. If the idea of control in the arms and legs, which can stopping for a month seems too difficult, be so severe that a person loses the abil- you may have alcoholism. ity to walk. Long-term alcohol use also Any physical or emotional discomfort causes brain damage. that happens mainly after drinking alco- • Sleep problems. hol, or gets worse after drinking alcohol, 60376037 BelairBelair Road.Road. Baltimore,Baltimore, MDMD 2120621206 • Memory problems, especially prob- is an alcohol related health problem. t 443-885-9799443-885-9799 ·· Facebook:Facebook: @mixersbar@mixersbar lems absorbing new information, even when sober.

8 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com quality of life // Health & Wellness

Starting the U=U Conversation Who do you think should be putting them in the hamper? For a few days, that be- havior improved, and then, back to the in Maryland Ask old ways… So for every relationship, there does By Aaron Cahall Care and the partners at the Baltimore Dr. J come a time when you ask yourself: Is Chase Brexton Health Care City Health Department. We all sat down Janan Broadbent, Ph.D. it time to break up? Time for me to exit, The Baltimore City Health Department at the table and drafted a statement for stage left? and community partners across the city Baltimore. We released that statement Also for every relationship, there joined the international U=U conversa- in December 2017, and I thought that are turning points. It is when you decide tion last December with the launch of the was it. Then the Maryland Department Time to Leave? to work at making it better, for you and U=U Maryland campaign, spreading the of Health said it needed to be more and your partner, and accept that it is a joint funded the U=U coalition venture. You contribute to what is going to create a movement. On At the beginning, it was exhilarating … on as much as the other does. Most of World AIDS Day 2018, we Looking into each other’s eyes, holding us put in eight hours a day into work. unveiled the U=U Maryland hands, hooking up, savoring the physical How much time do you think you invest website, with the amazing and the emotional highs. Then, slowly, all in your relationship? Studies show that help of Chase Brexton. The seemed to be calming down. You started it is much less than that. So why do we coalition includes commu- to notice little quirks that annoyed you. expect things to be better if we do not nity partners from all over The same quirks that you used to think “Most of us put in the region and has become were oh so cute …. You asked: Why do part of the Baltimore City you leave the wet towels on the floor? eight hours a day Health Department. What has surprised into work. How much you the most about the campaign as it has un- time do you think folded? you invest in your I stand in awe of how have lent their voices to this effort. t Andrew McCarty, the community voices For more about the U=U Maryland relationship?” scientific con- (right) seen have changed HIV prevention in Balti- campaign, to learn about the science sensus that HIV-pos- here with Chase more City. I never expected this to take behind U=U, and to sign the consen- actively do something about it? itive individuals with Brexton Health on a life of its own. I am very grateful for sus statement and join the conversation an undetectable viral Care’s Dr. Someone could be your soulmate, if all the support and for the people that about U=U, visit Uequalsumaryland.org. load cannot transmit Sebastian Ruhs, you believe in that notion. Or it could be the disease to sexual is the chair of the a person you are absolutely compatible partners. U=U Maryland with. But getting along and being at least In the months campaign content, if not happy, does not happen since, the campaign by itself, no matter the good intentions. has been a presence at community I am not singling out romantic connec- events, resource fairs, and health discus- tions only. This holds true for friendships, sions across the city. Guiding the cam- parent-child encounters, with coworkers paign’s efforts is its community board, and neighbors too. If you tell me you chaired by Anthony McCarty. are a vegetarian, and I keep inviting you We asked Andrew to reflect on the to steakhouses, how would you feel to- first year of U=U Maryland, and what it wards me? took to bring the campaign’s message to Now there is no denying that none Baltimore. of us is perfect and we all do things in When and how did you first hear of ways that bother others, and we may be U=U? too demanding or unrealistic. It is equally A little over two years ago at a Urban true that we can make amends, change Coalition for HIV/AIDS Prevention Ser- our ways to respect those we care for vices (UCHAPS) meeting in Los Angeles. and love. So can they. It is when both (or We talked briefly about this “new” U=U more) parties make the effort to observe Campaign. At that point, partners from each other’s needs, requests, and wants across the country sat down and formed that respect and love grow. It is also im- the UCHAPS statement for U=U. portant to acknowledge that to love an- What about the U=U message other, we need to have love within, to see spoke to you the most? ourselves as worthwhile people. We have That this, for once, would put science to do some soul-searching to examine behind what many knew to be true for our own weaknesses, frailties, strengths, several years. This was the game-chang- and offerings. If I think I am not good er for how people perceive someone liv- enough for me, why would anyone else ing with HIV. U=U was the gold medal think differently? Looking at one’s self in many received for taking control of their the mirror is not always comfortable, but health and becoming undetectable. it is crucial to learn what we are made of How did the U=U Maryland cam- so we can offer it to others. The work you paign get started? put in will give you priceless returns. t After that UCHAPS meeting, I talk- “It is easy to hate and it is difficult to ed with my doctor about this. We both love. This is how the whole scheme of were so excited about this victory. After things works. All good things are difficult that conversation, I reached out to doc- to achieve, and bad things are very easy tors from Johns Hopkins, University of to get.” – Confucius Maryland, Sinai, Chase Brexton Health

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 9 quality of life // Health and Wellness Gay Sex in the Golden Years MENTAL HEALTH MOMENT – All it dr. Dudley Seth Danoff which is a “prophylactic” drug designed Of all the factors that affect your sex life, to decrease the odds of contracting AIDS Takes is One the most predictable is the natural pro- and HIV. While our improved ability to cess of aging. As men get older, they prevent such devastating diseases is often notice that their libido is no longer worth celebrating, PrEP has made many by Carrie Etheridge pervasive and damaging as in-person raging, that their erections are no longer men overconfident and careless when it Nine out of ten LGBTQ youth reported ex- bullying. Parents should monitor their as quick on the draw or as firm, and that comes to using condoms. Condoms may periencing bullying in the past year. And child’s social media, turn off comments, they need more time to recover after sex. cramp your style, and yes, sex feels a lot LGBTQ youth are twice as likely to ex- and block users when necessary. They These changes happen at different better without them. perience physical assault as their peers. should also encourage their child to take times to different men, But your health (and During National Bullying plenty of breaks from digital de- but they happen to ev- your partner’s) is at Prevention Month in Oc- vices and pursue creative out- ery man who lives long stake. You can love tober, it is important to Ally against lets or physical exercise, both enough! Does this sex even with latex. recognize the signs and of which boast proven mental mean that you have to You just have to do symptoms of bullying, and bullying this health benefits. how you can help those give up on a fulfilling it with discernment, LGBTQ adults are equally impacted. October! sex life after reach- caution, and care. as susceptible to cyberbullying Bullying is defined ing a certain age? Of The physical as the younger generation. Be by the Merriam-Webster course not! If you are changes and extra conscientious about your social Dictionary as “abuse and willing to adapt to your health consider- media use. If you notice that time mistreatment of someone vulnerable by body’s natural changes ations that come spent on a certain social media platform someone stronger or more powerful.” and take extra care of with growing older often results in negative emotions, then yourself and your part- Symptoms of someone who is being bul- choose to disengage from that platform. may seem depress- lied include isolation, declining grades, ner, you can enjoy gay ing, but aging also Healing starts with seeking help sex well into your senior disinterest in eating, poor sleep habits, gives you certain – For students who suffer from the af- years. and irritability and anger. advantages in the ter-effects of bullying, therapy and talking Thanks to “mag- While much of the literature about bul- sexual arena. The through these negative emotions is an es- ic blue pills” such as lying is targeted to youth, LGBTQ adults bright side is that with sential first step toward healing. Parents Viagra and Cialis, older men also still experience bullying, though often advanced years come experience and might also consider seeking out a thera- can achieve erections firm enough for in forms that are less overt. For example, wisdom, which I’ve found to be more pist who specializes in LGBTQ issues. penetration and boost their sexual perfor- exclusion from social events, being the important in the bedroom than youthful LGBTQ adults who were victims of mance. Taking erectile dysfunction (ED) subject of gossip or being targeted on so- brute vigor. As you age, not only do you bullying are also encouraged to seek drugs is not a sign of weakness – in fact, cial media are a few of the ways LGBTQ therapy to process past experiences ED drugs are the most common sexual acquire greater ejaculatory control, but adults are victims of bullying. Further, you also learn the best tricks for pleas- and understand its impact on their pres- aid for men of a certain age, so you are LGBTQ adults may have experienced ent-day mental health. Many may also ing and satisfying your partner. I always more aggressive, traumatizing bullying in in good company. ED pills are safe for all find healing by volunteering for a local tell my urology patients that the greatest their youth and are still recovering from men when taken alone, but guys who take group that supports LGBTQ youth. Vol- aphrodisiac is love. Be kind and gentle its affects. certain other medications should exercise unteering with a youth hotline or help- to one another. Do to your partner what What can a parent or caregiv- caution when considering the use of ED ing students at their local school you would have your partner do to you. er do to help bullied LGBTQ drugs. Men who take nitroglycerine for form a Gay-Straight-Alliance Be giving and open and positive in your youth? The most important cardiovascular disease should avoid the program, can also be very relationship. And remember, the great- way for any person to com- miracle pills, and guys who are on HIV empowering and help est tool in your sexual arsenal resides bat bullying is to tell some- meds should confer with their doctor to transform a negative past determine the safest dosages of both HIV between your ears, not between your one! Many victims feel t experience into a teach- and ED drugs. legs! shame or feel they can ing tool that can posi- One sexual health consideration that Dudley Seth Danoff, MD, FACS, is “handle it” until they no tively impact the next is especially important for gay men of president and founder of the Cedars-Si- longer can or are in crisis. generation. all ages is avoiding sexually transmitted nai Medical Center Tower Urology According to Stopbullying. Bullying is a per- diseases (STDs). After decades of our Group in Los Angeles, a diplomate of gov, only 20 to 30% of vasive problem that society fighting to lower sexual infection the American Board of Urology, a fellow students ever report negatively impacts rates, recent data from the CDC indicates of the American College of Surgeons, bullies. But studies the lives of millions that STD rates are climbing once again. A and author of The Ultimate Guide to Male show that having of people each major factor behind this trend is the intro- Sexual Health. at least one duction of the new drug Truvada for PrEP, person stand year, some- with a victim times in tragic as an ally ways—and is often all the LGBTQ Hearts and Ears Inc. it takes to community LGBTQIA+ Wellness & Recovery Center stop the is dispro- bullying. portionally Sheppard Pratt’s Par- affected by Carrie Etheridge ents and bullying. If you have been af- Hearts & Ears, Inc. is a non-profit organization for Gay, guardians are students’ best allies fected by bullying, seek help. Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and and advocates. Parents should investi- And take the opportunity to partner with Questioning, and Gender Non-Conforming individuals gate school situations to find out who is the next generation of LGBTQ youth creating a negative environment for their to create a more supportive and kind with behavioral health issues and concerns. loved one. They should involve the ad- world. t ministration when appropriate and help Carrie Etheridge, LCSW-C, is the them draft a specific LGBTQ bullying poli- director of social work responsible for cy if one does not already exist. 611 Park Avenue Suite A, Baltimore, Maryland 21201 • 410-523-1694 planning and directing policies for social However, protecting your child ex- work and related professional counsel- [email protected] • heartsandears.org tends beyond the school yard to their dig- ing services in Sheppard Pratt’s inpa- ital devices as well. Cyberbullying is as tient and day programs. 10 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com Spiritual Directory

Baltimore Ethical Society Grace United Methodist Church 2521 Saint Paul St. Baltimore, MD 5407 North Charles Street 21218 Baltimore, MD 21210 [email protected] 410-433-6650. baltimoreethicalsociety.org graceunitedmethodist.org

Bolton Street Synagogue Govans Presbyterian Church 212 West Coldspring Lane 5828 York Road. Baltimore, MD 21210 Baltimore MD 21212 410-235-5354. boltonstreet.org 410-435-9188. govanspres.org

Brown Memorial Park Avenue Interfaith Fairness Presbyterian Church Coalition of MD 1316 Park Avenue P.O. Box 13132 Baltimore MD 21217 Baltimore MD 21203 410-523-1542. 410-233-5555. ifcmd.org ALL ARE WELCOME browndowntown.org MCC of Baltimore Mass schedule Chevrei Tzedek Congregation 405 West Monument Street. •Saturday 5:30 p.m 3101 Fallstaff Road Baltimore MD 21201 •Sunday 9 a.m., 10:45 a.m., 12:15 p.m Baltimore MD 21209 410-669-6222 •Reconciliation is available 443-992-7485. chevreitzedek.org mccbaltimore.org Saturdays at 4:30 p.m. to 5 p.m.

Congregation Beit Tikvah Memorial Episcopal Church Contact st. Bernadette Parish 5802 Roland Avenue 1407 Bolton Street Deacon Fred Passauer Baltimore MD 21210 Baltimore MD 21217 801 Stevenson Road 410-464-9402. beittikvah.org 410-669-0220 Parish Administrator Severn, Maryland 21144-2299 memorialepiscopal.org 410-969-2783 410-969-2783 Emmanuel Episcopal Church 811 Cathedral Street New Light MCC Baltimore, MD 21201 40 W. Church Street 410-685-1130. emmanueldown- Hagerstown MD 21740 Chevrei Tzedek Congregation town.org 301-797-5698 newlightmcc.com 3101 Fallstaff Road, First and Franklin Street. Baltimore, MD 21209 Presbyterian Church The Church of the Advent 210 W. Madison Street 1301 South Charles Street [email protected] Baltimore MD 21201-4693 Baltimore, MD 21230 www.chevreitzedek.org 410-728-5545. firstfranklin.org 410-539-7804 (443) 992-7485 advent-baltimore.org First Unitarian Church of RABBI RORY KATZ Baltimore Veritas United JTS Gladstein Fellow 1 West Hamilton Street. Church of Christ Baltimore MD 21201 22 N Mulberry Street., Suite 113 410-685-2330. firstunitarian.net Hagerstown, MD 21740 An informal, Welcoming, Participatory, Conservative Jewish Community 240- 310-6891 veritashagerstown.com

The Source for the lgbtq community To advertise in our Spiritual directory please call 410-802-1310 BaltimoreOutloud.com

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 11 Lively Arts // out on stage

keep practicing. I still must maintain my —continued from page 1 physical endurance. For me, because monolith. We get to see a very specific Cirque I’ve been doing it for such a long time, I story illuminating universal truths about ‘A Beautiful practice twice a week for an hour. When humanity. A story about wanting love, Italia Brings you begin, however, you have to practice wanting acceptance, wanting to be seen a lot. and heard. What Keenan [Scott II] has Time to Be What’s it like to feel the audience done so beautifully in this is allowing a Aquatic reaction? space for all types of men to exist under I’m concentrating when I’m per- the sun. You have heteronormative men, Circus to you have homosexual men. You have Black’ people that are trying to figure out, “Am I Death- a pansexual? Am I a sapiosexual?” This Fredrick defying – piece injects understanding and empa- Guillermo thy for a whole bunch of people across should reflect the times. Art has the pow- By Frankie Kujawa Fernandez the board. er to shift the paradigm. Cirque Italia presents “Aquatic Sounds like a timely production! That means more to me than any- Spectacular” in Frederick, Mary- Absolutely! The strains that our polit- thing. Beyond the fame, the celebrity, land, running from October 31st ical administration has thrown us gets us being noticed on the street – fuck that! to November 3rd. The name re- yearning for authentic stories. I think that It’s about how am I impacting and being flects a unique attribute under this piece, specifically, is needed right of service to human beings. I’ve been so the tent, as the show features a here, right now, in Baltimore, in New fortunate to use my custom designed water stage that York, on the globe at large. There travels from city to city. The stage are so many things backwards holds 35,000 gallons of water about a term like “Make America that performers dazzle over while Great Again.” A notion that, “It thrilling the audience with every was once great and, therefore, it move. With this “unique feature” can’t be great anymore unless we under the tent, guests will be sur- retreat back to things that we left prised, for it’s a show all its own! and diminished.” The idea that we Baltimore OUTloud recently chat- almost have to erase the progress ted with Guillermo Fernandez, we’ve made in order to then go who performs the death-defying back. Having that as the slogan, stunt, the “Wheel of Death.” the mantra for this new leadership, Frankie Kujawa: What can really puts a strain on humanity. audiences expect from this up- It doesn’t allow us to be our full, coming performance? forming. Yes, I do hear little things, but authentic selves. It’s asking us to Guillermo Fernandez: Cirque Italia I really don’t really get to see people’s fit a square box into a circle hole. is a traditional circus with clowns, ac- faces. After the Wheel of Death, there’s I think, right now, what we need robats and dancers. But the plus side a section after the show when we meet more than ever is to be able to pro- is this is the first and only water circus. people in front of the circus. It’s there vide empathy. We need something So, besides all these great performances when I get to hear what people have to that gives us grace and compas- and acts, there is water involved. It’s a say. They’ll say, “You’re crazy!” or “How sion. Something that allows us to Vegas-level show in do you do that?!” be a unified front and not this divi- your own backyard! sive culture that has enabled this Not the and that’s when There’s no show wheel of life it sinks into my administration for this amount of travelling around the head that for time. Actor Ryan country this big. Ev- some people Both Thoughts of a Colored Man, gift as a conduit for Jamaal Swain erywhere we go, peo- this stunt is out as well as your work on the critical- people to have heal- ple love it! Another of this world. ly-acclaimed “Pose,” tell poignant, ing – whether it be thing that people can But, for me, it’s thought-provoking stories. What is it spiritual, emotional, expect is that this is normal. about story-telling that’s appeals to mental, or physical. a 100% pro-animal Can you you so much? What messages do you hope au- circus. So, there are tell our read- I love when stories can puncture the diences take away from this produc- absolutely no animals ers a little bit hearts and minds of everyone. That sto- tion? in the show whatsoev- about your ries can change the molecular structure I hope that they take understanding er. Any person worried background? of what somebody is thinking. People of marginalized people, of brown and about animal welfare I was born come out thinking something new, and black folk, of Latinos, of queer folk, of can enjoy 100% of in Guadalajara, that thought funnels into action, and gender non-binary people, of question- the show. We believe Mexico, and that action funnels into community and ing people. I hope that they take that we animals belong to live was raised in that community turns into a nation. I’ve are all here trying to get through it the in the jungle, so that’s Mexico City. I been so fortunate and blessed with the best way that we know how. This is a where we leave them. was a circus work I’ve done with Thoughts of a Col- movement and not a moment. Black peo- What kind of kid, and my ored Man, as well as “Pose,” to be on the ple are in Vogue, black and brown peo- training and condi- family and I frontline of social change. I think that’s ple are on TV, they’re producing, they tioning goes into per- went all over. been very impactful for me. It’s allowed have a staged play here in Baltimore. It forming the Wheel of So I’ve been me to tap into my “Why?” as an artist. My is a beautiful time to be black, but I also Death stunt? pretty much to “why” is to be in service of the people. To want people to understand that we’ve Well, the Wheel of all of Mexico, the US, Italy, always have the stories of the people. If always been at the center of culture, of Death is one of the most dangerous acts and Spain. I spent most of my childhood we’re not telling those stories, and we’re ethics. We’re just pushing the pendulum in the circus world. Everyone is different both in Mexico and the US. I went back not inside saturating and talking to the forward. t in how they approach it. For me, person- to Mexico and came back ten years ago youth, and being vessels for that, then For more info on Thoughts of a Col- ally, I started practicing when I was 14 and haven’t left. I enjoy life on the road. what am I doing? When I hear things ored Man visit Centerstage.org. years old for about four hours a day. I It’s super fun. t like “Art is for art’s sake,” I say no – art 12 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com Lively Arts // personalities

of that. I didn’t have to be an Uber driver; Rules.” he didn’t have to be a waiter. It allowed I watched the first seven episodes us to focus 100% on the podcast. That, in of your animated series “The Real Watch That Man turn, empowered us to forge our own ways Housewares of Kitchen Island.” Are By Gregg Shapiro For years we’ve An with our careers and not relying on other there more in the works? Katonah native Ben Mandelker is a funny been this outsider people to decide whether or not to give us Yes! Believe it or not, I’m going to sit guy. The Dartmouth College alum moved podcast, just two interview an opportunity. It allowed us to create our down and work on the next scripts today. to Los Angeles a few years ago to be a guys talking trash own opportunities. I’ve taken some time off and chilling out. comedy writer. He’s not the first and he about reality stars. with Ben That’s quite an endorsement! Have I’m not going to lie. I was planning on get- won’t be the last. His is a familiar story of It never sounded you heard from Andy Cohen or any cast ting one or two more up. I’ve actually out- starts and stops, highs and lows. Fortu- as sharp and crisp Mandelker members of the Bravo shows? lined the next nine episodes. There’s going nately for Mandelker, he met fellow funny as a super-profes- A few months ago Andy Cohen actu- to be quite a scandalous arc that’s going to man Ronnie Karam, and their shared af- sionally made pod- of ‘Watch ally Tweeted out something. He said that happen. I’m glad that you watched it. I love fection for “The Real Housewives” and all cast, but I think it we were hilarious. We get a lot of support doing it. As I mentioned, I came out here things Bravo led them to create the popu- made it sound ac- What from Bravo celebrities, such as Lisa Rinna to be a writer and since the podcast has lar podcast “Watch What Crappens.” The cessible. You can (“The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”), become a big thing, I’ve focused a lot of title of the podcast, a nod to Andy Cohen’s hear trucks driv- Crappens’ LeeAnne Locken (“The Real Housewives attention on that. But I still want to keep “Watch What Happens: Live” recap and ing by and sirens of Dallas”), and a lot of people from “Van- writing as part of my life. The reason I do call-in show, has been well-received, not passing our apartments. At the end of the derpump Rules,” “Below Deck,” and “Sum- “The Real Housewares” is it’s a way for me only by the large listener base, but also day, we’re still dudes putting together a re- mer House,” among them, Patricia Alt- to write quick, easy fun stuff on the side. by Cohen and Bravo show cast members cording for the fun of it. schul, who is the grand dame of “Southern It’s also my way of writing something, do- alike. In fact, “Watch What Crappens” is At the beginning of each episode, Charm,” and Catherine Dennis, who is the ing the voices. I taught myself animation so successful, that Mandelker and Karam you thank your Patreon supporters. breakout star from that show. A lot of them so I could make it myself. It’s something have been doing a series of sold-out live How has crowd funding changed the listen, support, come to our live shows, that’s 100% my own. shows. Mandelker, who also does the an- creativity landscape? which is exciting. It’s awesome when we Do you think Forky from Toy Story 4 imated “The Real Housewares of Kitchen Crowd funding in general, but specif- do a live show and one of the Bravo-leb- might make a guest appearance? Island” series, took some time out of his ically Patreon, was a total game-changer rities shows up. They get the joke, they You never know. I would love to have busy production schedule to answer a understand. At the end of the day, Ron- some crossovers. I’m sure Disney would few questions. nie and I are just two friends watch- absolutely allow that to happen. License Gregg Shapiro: Ben, please say ing these shows and broadcasting their characters to appear on “The Real something about the genesis of the the same thing everyone says to their Housewares of Kitchen Island” [laughs]. “Watch What Crappens” podcast. friends when they watch the shows. We Finally, Ben, can you please say a Ben Mandelker: (“Watch What just happen to be broadcasting it to 2.5 few words about the symbiotic relation- Crappens” co-host) Ronnie Karam million people. ship between gay men and the Bravo and I knew each other from the world I’m glad you mentioned the live network? of blogging from the mid-aughts. We shows. How did the concept of doing There really is a connection between had forged a friendship from that. live versions of “Watch What Crap- Bravo show and gay men. I think that Around 2010 or 2011, I was hired to pens” come about? there’s something about gay culture that be the host of a web series called We had always wanted to incorpo- really appreciates camp and a bent sense “Housewives Hoedown” where ev- rate a live component, going back to of humor. That’s the mindset you have to ery week I would be on video talking our first year. Truthfully, Ronnie and I have when you watch these shows. You about the “Real Housewives.” My are performers at heart. My background can’t watch “The Real Housewives of New role as host was to find guests to be is a little more in writing. His is in the- on the show. I knew Ronnie and he’s ater and improv. Together, we are two “Ronnie and I are super-funny. I invited him and my people who live to make people laugh. friend Matt Whitfield, who was a writ- If I make Ronnie laugh on the podcast, just two friends er for Yahoo at the time. The three that’s all I’m trying to do [laughs]. If I can of us had great chemistry. When the make him laugh, then the audience will watching these shows web series was canceled after nine be laughing. We have a desire to enter- and broadcasting the months, we decided that we wanted to for us. I could even say it changed tain. We love to get up in front of people keep talking about “Real Housewives” and my life. I had moved out to Los Angeles and do our shows. Going back to our first same thing everyone expand it to included Bravo as a whole. to be a comedy writer. I had some suc- year, we did a show at the (now defunct) We started “Watch What Crappens” seven cess. I had a feature that I was going to Improv Olympic (in Los Angeles). Ten peo- says to their friends and a half years ago. do with director McG. I had a pitch a few ple showed up, but we had so much fun. when they watch the A recent “Watch What Crappens” years ago that Zach Braff was attached Every once in a while we’d have a chance episode made mention of technical dif- to, with the producers of “La La Land” and to do a show at The Improv and we’d have shows.” ficulties. Are you and Ronnie the ones “New Girl.” Across the board, they would 60 people. Then we got the opportunity doing the production work or do you fall apart for some reason. What I realized to do our show at the Gotham Comedy in York” and not appreciate the camp value. have a team? is that the entertainment industry in LA is New York and we sold out in six hours. It’s If you take it at face value, you’ll wonder, We do it all ourselves. We record over a crapshoot. The podcast was something a room that holds 250 or 300. We did the “What’s the point of this? Why is it funny Skype. Even though we live about a mile that allowed us to take ownership of our show and it was exciting. A few days later, for me to watch Ramona Singer walking away from each other. You can never un- future and our careers. Not have every- a big venue in LA reached out to us. We her dog?” Instead of deriding that, embrac- derestimate how hard it is to drive places thing in the hands of fickle decisions. The thought, “This might be happening!” Now ing the ridiculousness of it is when you and find parking in Los Angeles [laughs]. reason this matters in terms of Patreon is we’re with APA, which is a huge honor, truly understand and get Bravo TV. You We could theoretically meet up. We record that this is what I was going through at the because they’re major in terms of comedy could probably have an entire academic five episodes a week, plus a bonus for Pa- time. My career was in the hands of oth- booking. It’s crazy to think we did a show course of study or thesis about why gay treon, so it’s easier to record over Skype. er people. I was driving Uber to support where only ten people showed up and men respond to different kinds of humor One of the things that’s been really fun for myself while I was going on these pitches. now we sold out the 9:30 Club in DC and in a certain way. There’s something about us as a podcast is that’s it’s always been When Patreon came around and people Just For Laughs in Montreal and SXSW. gay men’s appreciation of certain kinds on us. We’ve always done it ourselves. stared donating, a dollar, two dollars, five It’s been so crazy, especially in the con- of comedy that just dovetails so well with Every now and then we’d get an oppor- dollars here and there, after a few months text that we’re just two guys talking about Bravo. t tunity to record in a nice studio setting. Ronnie and I were actually able to live off “The Real Housewives” and “Vanderpump

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 13 Lively Arts // qmusic

gives us full-on divo realness on his new the Ceiling (Ghostlight), features Lippa album Face To Face (Broadway). Ac- in the role of Uncle Lester, Grady Mi- Not Just a Stage cording to the liner notes written by Tee, randa as Lester’s nephew Jimmy, Tony “Les Parapluies De Cherbourg”), jazz (“I the characters in the songs he sings, Award-winning actor Gavin Creel as By Gregg Shapiro Get Along Without You Very Well,” “Star- many of whom he has “inhabited” on Jimmy’s father and Tony-nominee Kate You’ve got to give Michael Longoria, dust,” “Golden Earrings”) and even an stage, are “rebels and antagonists,” who performed on Broadway in Jersey original (“New York Treasure”). and come from shows including Les Boys and Hairspray, credit for being Gay New Zealand transplant and Miserables (“Stars” and “Empty ballsy. On his 2016 album Broadway musical theater performer Hayden Tee Chairs at Empty Tables”), Cabaret Brick By Brick he powered his way (“I Don’t Care Much / So What”), through a set of popular songs from, Love Never Dies (“Till I you guessed it, Broadway musicals. Michael Hear You Sing”), Matil- Longoria For his new album, Like They Do in da (“The Smell of Re- the Movies (Broadway), he turns his bellion”), and Floyd Col- attention to songs from the cinema. lins (“How Glory Goes”), Longoria begins the album with the to mention a few. catchy original “Kiss Me (Like They These days, Orville Do in the Movies”) before boldly tak- Peck and Black Belt ing on well-known numbers such Eagle Scout aren’t the as “Arthur’s Theme,” “Evergreen,” only queer artists using “Wind Beneath My Wings,” “I Will Al- stage names for their ways Love You,” “It Must Have Been creative sides. You can Love,” “Take My Breath Away,” “My add Jay Som (aka Meli- Heart Will Go On,” and “The Rose,” na Mae Duterte) to that to name a few. list, too. On her third Bi-coastal lesbian vocalist Jen album, Anak Ko (Poly- Fellman has populated her debut vinyl), which translated album Forbidden Drive (Broad- from Tagalog means “my way) with songs from a variety of child,” Jay Som sounds sources. There are Broadway num- like she’s ready for main- bers (“Wherever He Ain’t,” “Hap- stream stardom. The piness,” “I Won’t Send Roses,” poppy shoegaze jangle “Love Look Away”), French chan- of “Superbike” has the son (“Mon Amant De Saint Jean,” potential to grab the ears of listeners of all ages. “Nighttime Drive” feels like hipster Americana, complete with Annie Baldwin as Jimmy’s mother. OPENING NOVEMBER 8 Trusscott’s fiddle. The suitably named Also based on a novel (by Ned Vizz- “Tenderness” is powered by the subtlest ini), the double disc set Be More Chill: of synth beats before it slinks into infec- Original Broadway Cast Recording tious funk and “If (Ghostlight) features The power of You Want It” will retro – The make you want Backstreet to dance. Boys Portuguese alt-folk singer/ songwriter Fili- pa Marinho, who just goes by Marinho, has released her debut al- bum – aka Til- de (Street Mis- sion). Marinho addresses themes of sad- ness and fear of abandon- ment, issues with which many listen- ers will be able to identify, on songs such as “I Give music and lyrics by Up and It’s Okay,” “Not You,” and “Freck- Joe Iconis and book by Joe Tracz. Set les.” in the torture chamber known as high 2020 SUBSCRIPTIONS Best-known for his award-winning school, the musical is of the moment, 410-730-8311 musical The Wild Party, gay theater touching on subjects including bully- TobysDinnerTheatre.com NOW ON SALE! Hurry...Quantities are Limited! composer Andrew Lippa teamed up with ing, social ostracism, popularity, video On sale through December 31, 2019 cartoonist and writer Jules Feiffer for a games, and drugs, as well as a bisexual stage adaptation of Feiffer’s 1993 young character, Rich (played by Gerard Ca- Due to the nature of theatrical bookings, all shows and dates are subject to change. • Toby’s Dinner Theatre, Columbia, MD adult novel The Man in the Ceiling. The nonico). t world premiere recording of The Man in 14 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com out in the valley Hagerstown Hopes Supports Trans Community, Youth, and Arts by Brian George Hose to attend both the candlelight vigil and This is an exciting time of year for us at the proclamation. The vigil will take place These opportunities are available to ev- Hagerstown Hopes. We recently elected from 6 to 7 pm at 5 Public Square in Hag- eryone in the community (including our a new board of directors, as well as an erstown. straight allies) and our goal is to unite executive board of officers. Along the Numbers make a statement and we the community through arts programs way, we’ve met a number of passion- encourage members of our community that are otherwise not available. Stay ate, dedicated individuals committed to and our allies to attend both the tuned for updates! strengthening, supporting, Our last Drag Bingo of 2019 is coming up soon! Country Hoe- down Drag Bingo will take place on Sunday, November 10th from and a meet-and-greet with our queens! 1 to 6 pm at Breakaway II Sports We hope you’ll join us in supporting two Lounge Warehouse and pro- great causes. ceeds will benefit Hagerstown As always, we hope you’ll follow us Hopes and For Otis Sake. Tick- on Facebook and check in at Hager- ets are $35 in advance for 20 stownHopesMD.org to stay up to date games of bingo and includes on what we’re doing. We’ve been hard lunch! The price goes up to $45 at work developing new ways to reach the day of the event. VIP seating out to the community, including new so- is available and includes prior- cial opportunities, health care resources, ity seating, food and dessert, and the arts! t

proclamation and serving our and the candlelight vigil. Attending in- community. Together, we’re working to creases visibility and also helps to bring provide activities, programs, and ser- attention to the continued violence en- vices that are needed in Hagerstown and dured by the transgender community. the surrounding areas. Our Trans Meetup Group meets the November is an important month for first and third Sundays of every month our trans community, and we hope you’ll at the Hagerstown Hopes Hub from 4 to join us in celebrating and supporting our 7pm. Meetings are open to all trans peo- The Keystone Gay Rodeo Association is a 501(c)(3) tax-exempt trans community, as well as remember- ple (including non-binary and agender ing those we’ve lost over the past year. friends) who can attend. There is also a non-pro t organization whose purpose is to promote the The mayor of Hagerstown will be issu- Trans Partner Meetup Group that is open country and western lifestyle and rodeo type events within ing an official proclamation, recognizing to the partners of trans, non-binary, and the LGBT community and their allies. Transgender Day of Remembrance as agender folks. Meetings are held at the an official day of remembrance in Hager- same time as the Trans Meetup Group, stown. The proclamation will take place but the Partners group will meet at The Do you enjoy any of the following activities? on Tuesday, November 19th at 7 pm at Nook, also located in Mulberry Lofts. •Social Events including country music and dancing. City Hall (1 East Franklin Street) on the We are also committed to providing second floor in the Council Chambers. safe spaces for members of our commu- •Meeting new people and making new friends. The proclamation will take place during nity. Young people aged 14 to 19 are wel- •Helping other community organizations by volunteering and the opening ceremonies and we ask that come to attend our Youth Group, which raising much needed funds. participants arrive on time to ensure the meets the first Saturday of the month council sees our support of the transgen- from 1 to 4 pm. Information is available •Trail riding, open horse shows, der community. in Washington County public schools rodeos and other horse related events. The following day, November 20th, and information will be shared through we will be participating in the Transgen- Facebook and our website Hagerstown- der Day of Remembrance Candlelight HopesMD.org. If so, then KSGRA membership may Vigil on the square in Downtown Hag- We are also excited to begin our arts be for you. To join visit our website erstown. Transgender Day of Remem- outreach program. We’ve begun orga- brance occurs annually on November nizing local musicians to sing at public at ksgra.org 20th and is a day to remember those in events, such as Transgender Day of Re- the transgender community we’ve lost membrance. We’re starting small and to violence over the past year. This is a once we have a group, we will begin public event and allies are encouraged planning full concerts and performances.

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 15 out in the valley

I turn on the television and find myself ing for me and I had a choice to make. being discussed as a hypothetical, while I could go with her now and everything I’m standing in my living room eating a would be okay – I would have no wor- tuna sandwich and feeling my ears turn Brian’s ries ever again. Or, I could go back. It Asher’s red. And trust me, I get it, I understand Brain wouldn’t be easy, she warned, but it World our world is constantly evolving. Ten Brian George Hose would be worth it. I stayed in that place Asher Kennedy years ago, I was so horribly trapped in for a while, feeling love and golden light a closet that I was getting strangled on and blue sky. And then I went back to the sweaters. Now we are everywhere. And What Scares hospital. A Vote Against that is my point. Just let us exist. I don’t know if this really happened, I don’t want a grand parade. I don’t but her words have guided me to this Vote care if you fly the trans pride flag out- Me day. I trusted that everything would be side of your home. I don’t need you to Halloween is my favorite time of year be- okay, would be worth it. When things Courting tell me you watch “Pose” and you love cause I love all things spooky. It hasn’t were scary, and they often were, I would Laverne Cox and Jazz Jennings. All I always been this way, though. This year, remember this and my outlook would want, all any trans or enby person living instead of writing about the Snallygas- shift. Scary things are scary because I loathe election season. The for- in this country wants is to just be able ter (a local monster legend) they have power, but I also mer-wanting-to-be-president child within to exist. I don’t want to turn on the tele- or personal spooky experi- learned that scary things only me would scream if they heard adult me vision and see my right to exist in this ences, I’m instead going to Recovered have the power we give them. utter those words, but here we country being debated like I’m tell you the story of how I It was because I trusted in a are. We have a dozen candi- not already here, exhausted learned to to be comfort- but changed positive outcome that chemo- dates for president, the cycle When from painting and training and able with fear. therapy stopped being scary of pandering ads with dramatic smelling like tuna fish. I know My body broke at 23. A and became that horrible, in- effects is just starting, and I am politicians Transgender Day of Remem- rare autoimmune disease had emerged, convenient task that was necessary for completely over it. Former teen- brance is coming up, and as slowly dissolving my organs to mush. me to become wonderful, to have a life age anarchist cobwebs aside, I pretend wonderful as the loud procla- When the diagnosis was given, it came that was “worth it.” am here to remind those seek- mations will be, what matters with a series of ifs: If I made it out of What scares me, though, is that ing to be elected into office of intimacy to me a lot more is that I can the hospital; If my body responded to some days I wonder if I made the right something that has increasingly become go to the bathroom and there be a stall the non-standardized, experimental imperative to me. I am not seeking to be to use; or how many glances I’m going treatment; If I could obtain the neces- “My body broke at 23. courted. While I get to spend the next to get if I go swimming and everyone sary chemotherapy without insurance; If year of my I could avoid infection while my immune A rare autoimmune life listening system was systematically destroyed (to to people who save my life), I might have a chance at disease had emerged, have never met a normal life. slowly dissolving my me – or any ac- The primary treatment lasted three tual living, feel- years. Three years of ingesting poison, organs to mush.” ing trans per- three years of knowing that I wasn’t my- son – decide self. Three years of knowing there was decision. Life is hard, and being queer what my rights still a “me” in there somewhere, just seems to make everything more compli- should be, I out of reach. This is now what I think of cated somehow. Forging true friendships would like to when I imagine hell. in a rural area isn’t easy, and dating is remind every- Ironically, I wasn’t afraid of dying. even more difficult. A person can simul- one: My vote is There, in a hospital bed, surrounded by taneously be too much for one suitor and not the priority, a tangle of tubes and hidden behind a not enough for another. And then there’s my life is, be- breathing mask, I decided to stay. May- our community’s focus on appearances. cause I am al- be it was the meds, or I no longer swim because ready here. I’m tired of reliving my own This week I have been can see my binder. personal hell to explain painting my house. Painting has been Last week a guest made a Caitlyn the map of scars on my exhausting, and any hope I had of ac- Jenner joke at the desk, and I had to body. The meds may have tually getting it done by Thanksgiving stand there and just smile and hand him saved my life, but they left was dashed when I realised it was go- a key pack. I want to make the world so a trail of carnage behind. ing to take a dozen coats to turn the ca- that garbage stops. If you want my vote, We all have our scars nary-yellow walls of my kitchen the de- or the vote of any of us; do something that we fear will never sired red without any paint-bleed. I also to fix that. Make bathroom bills a prior- heal. Things also only have been helping train new employees ity and not an added bonus. Make it so have the power we give at my day job, and in my spare time I trans kids aren’t killing themselves be- them. We can’t change have worked to put together a leadership cause we’ve allowed a culture of toxic- the past, but we can committee at Hopes so that I don’t burn ity to fester due to infighting. Make this change the future. What myself out before the holidays. And all country one that embraces me as a per- we do and say matters. of these things are enough to make the son and not just a minority vote. We are Be kind to others, go the average person feel a little maxed out, here, not just for votes, but to live our extra mile. Take care of and then I check my inbox. lives. And if you really want my vote, I yourself. Know that you “Looking for a trans perspective could definitely use help painting. t maybe it was my mind entering survival will always have choices in your life, about the election and how it makes you mode, but I met a woman I knew to be and those choices are what make your feel?” “God.” She took me to the top of a moun- life what it is. Make good ones. So, if “Calling for trans persons to write tain, the leaves all gold against a warm you’ve ever been afraid, take back your about their stories for the campaign trail!” blue sky. It was peaceful, it was loving. power and start living a life that one day “Looking for trans folks looking to It was home. will be worth the pain and strife it took to help with the campaign.” She told me that this is what is wait- achieve. t That is not counting the ones that get lobbed to Hopes directly, or every time 16 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com out in the valley // quality of life

because caring for it makes it worse. You The space you get back when you put on weight or you lose too much. You transition is absolutely priceless. There drink a lot. You get into toxic relationships are so many moments that make your What is where your partner is suffering more than heart light up and your soul sing, like you so you can focus on that instead. hearing the sound of your new name or You play video games for hours and your letting a friend braid your hair. You have best friends are people who have never so much more room for love, happiness, seen your face or heard your voice. Your and the tiny joys in life. You eat better and health plummets, but you’ve reduced this you spend amazing nights watching mov- Dysphoria? nagging itch to background noise and ies with your friends lounging around in drowned it in abuse, avoidance, and ad- diction. You dull the pain of the itch and “Have you ever been by Asher Kennedy How do you would be from another station the joy of anything else. You just exist. One of the most common (usually the weather channel). But you also learn what gives you mo- sitting somewhere in themes in questions I get know your The video was fine. The audio ments, brief respites, of relief or even joy. a public or a formal asked by folks is on the was fine. But the mismatch be- When I was young, before the traumas nature of dysphoria. How body is tween them? That’s the kind of happened in my life and well before I’d place and all of a do you know your body frustration that sits with you all hit puberty, I had a journal with a beau- is wrong? What does that wrong? day as a child. tiful parchment background and flowers sudden, the bottom feel like? It’s the feeling you get when on the cover. I wrote in that journal as a of your foot itches? Communicating such a mental pain is you ask for a crisp, refreshing Diet Coke young girl would and it delighted my heart. really difficult so we reach for metaphors and the server says, “Is Pepsi okay?” It’s I would sneak feminine clothing to my It’s not like you can that hopefully can summon that particular the way this picture makes you feel. bedroom, usually nightwear like pajamas misery, or some approximation of it, up for Or this one. and wear them to bed and that felt good remove your shoes someone else to help them gain empathy Or this one. as long as I didn’t look in a mirror and see right there and and understanding. It is knowing that something is wrong the clunky way they hung from my body. I’ve thought way too much about how and not being able to do a damn thing Or I’d put on chapstick as though it were scratch it, so you to communicate that. The metaphor I about it. lipstick. I carried around a messenger bag used to reach for was that it’s like being And that feeling is there for you ev- because that was acceptable but a purse endure the feeling of in an iron maiden, but it’s your body and ery morning when you wake up and when wasn’t. On the bad days, these little tricks dying inside while nobody can see how much it’s hurting you wash your body. It’s there when you and rituals I learned to give myself peace you. Ultimately that metaphor fell short. brush your teeth. It’s there when you put were all I had. And all of this feedback this itch grows and People could understand that that sounds your clothes on and it’s really there when combined taught me an important lesson: like it sucks, but nobody has the concept people touch or hug you and you feel the I’m not the gender people said I was. grows until you are of being in an iron maiden. So, I’m going way the shape of your body doesn’t con- And for a lot of people those respites ready to murder the form to theirs aren’t enough. This itch kills people. They the way you in- die from this secret pain that gnaws them next person that tuitively expect. until it eats away their will to live. And It’s there every then we bury them with a name that made speaks to you.” time you see them sick and an identity that broke them. your lips or the But some of us learn new words like your pajamas. You make beautiful mem- way your hair- “transition” and “gender dysphoria.” We ories with a body that is more and more line flows. see Laverne Cox on Netflix. We find hope yours every day. And there will never, And some- in these terms and examples. If we’re ever be any feeling so intoxicating and re- times it fades lucky, we get to transition our bodies to warding and wholesome as the one when out a little and something that salves that itch most of the you look into the mirror and you see the you get a mo- time. We take new names and identities person your heart understood you were ment to catch because we’re conditioned in such a way all along. t yourself and that the old ones call back that itch for us. breathe a sigh Misalignment of relief before you accidentally hear to try this differently. I’m going to kinda your own voice in a recording or see gush my thoughts out here, and I hope yourself in a mirror or notice the hair on you will get the idea of what I’m trying to your hands or look down in the shower or communicate. a friend takes a photograph with you in Have you ever been sitting some- it and oh-my-god does my face look like where in a public or a formal place and that? It is like having an allergic reaction all of a sudden, the bottom of your foot to the very awareness of your own body itches? It’s not like you can remove your or the sound of the name you were giv- shoes right there and scratch it, so you en. And that’s how it tortures you. It is a endure the feeling of dying inside while constant drum beat of repetitious misery: this itch grows and grows until you are something is wrong. ready to murder the next person that You learn what causes it to flare up speaks to you. and you just don’t do that, or you avoid it. Or when I was younger, I used to You hide your body under baggy clothes watch cable TV in the mornings before or try to power through and dress per- school. Because it was cable TV in early fectly to your gender as if to vaccinate 90s rural West Virginia, every so often I’d yourself against this itch. You don’t take turn on my favorite channel to watch my pictures often because each one seems shows while I ate maple oatmeal and I’d to accentuate the things that make your be seeing Power Rangers – but the audio heart hurt. You avoid tending to your body

BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 17 dining out

stead, the Gypsy Style (with espresso BBQ sauce) and especially the Rose- mary Honey Wings, reminiscent of an Munch old school Italian method, captured sweet, savory and tangy elements we On This need more of. The sandwich offerings Michael Ritmiller include sliders and a burger with curried mayo and chutney. (The truffle fries go New employmeNt opportuNity! great with the chutney.) One of the most brilliant ideas from New outdoor resort opening this summer located north of Gypsy’s Truckstaurant this kitchen are the meals in a waffle Romney, Hampshire Co. West Virginia. 3515 Clipper Mill Road, Baltimore cone. The Korean Fried Chicken Cone We need the following positions filled within the next four 443-869-5602 is a unique spin on the chicken and waf- Gypsystruckstaurant.com fles concept. Even better is the Jumbo to six weeks. Many of these positions will be year round! Lump Crab Cake Waffle Cone with Truf- Tucked away in the industrial part of fle Fries, draped in Old Bay Aioli. The Restaurant: Bakers, Bartenders, Bar-backs, Clipper Mill is a hidden oasis of deli- creamy aioli dripping off the crab cake, Bus & cleaning staff, Dish/Pot washers, ciousness waiting to be discovered. It with the barely sweet crunch of the waf- is not too often we fle cone, was an- Food prep & Line cooks, see a food truck “The selection of craft other scrumptious Floor managers, Host & Wait staff. lay down roots on marriage of fla- outside Help: Activities attendant, Groundskeepers, a permanent ad- cocktails focuses on vors. dress. Especially The menu Horse tenders, Facility maintenance staff. one with a nomadic locally sourced spirits continues on with name. Fortunately, and ingredients that a large variety of Please complete the job application at the following link Annmarie Langton go down easier than fusion concepts and we will get back to you! and Tom Looney of masterfully put the famed Gypsy Stormy Daniels. The together, includ- https://rainbowcountryresorts.com/job-application Queen Food Truck ing sweet pairings Come grow with us!!! have made their rest of the menu reads with the Taharka street fare more Bros Ice Cream accessible at Gyp- like exciting stoner next door. The sy’s Truckstaurant. porn.” final cherry on Don’t let the this sweet end- view from the ing is not on the street fool you. Behind the privacy fence sundaes. Rather, you can bring your is an adorable, colorful courtyard in front well-behaved leashed pet with you in the of a warehouse with lots of table and outdoor courtyard area for those doggy bar seating. The selection of craft cock- date nights. t tails focuses on locally sourced spirits and in- gredients that go down A truck- easier than Stormy staurant Daniels. The rest of the like no menu reads like excit- other ing stoner porn. Langton and Loo- ney may refer to their cuisine as street food but their take on a num- ber of items are far more than that, covering a spectrum of culinary influence from around the globe. The Truffled Parmesan Fries had the right mix of crunch and chew balanced nicely with the saltiness of the parmesan. The Bourbon Bacon Brussel sprouts had a lightly sweet sticky coating that was like eating a fine candy. The Gorgonzola Stuffed Dates with Applewood Smoked Bacon had a similar finish as though I was happily having des- sert first. The wings aren’t the usual boring flavors. In-

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BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com t 19 real estate

By Wayne Curtis For many years now, pre-millennial Millennials and Online Fraud Americans such as myself have been hearing how computer savvy the mem- a smart phone in their mitts, and what an tised. Millennials reported Perhaps the millennials bers of the millennial generation are, advantage this gives them in the world losing $71 million to online Surprising are more trusting of what they how they have grown up with a mouse or that is rapidly evolving into existence. shopping fraud-out of the see online, precisely because Well, maybe not. nearly $450 million they re- data it is such familiar, comfortable According to con- ported losing to all types of territory for them to navigate Notorious sumer complaint data fraud-in the last two years.” through. precursor to recently released by Online shopping is not the only com- This is particularly relevant to real online real the Federal Trade mercial category where millennials are estate transactions, which have been estate fraud – Commission (FTC), much more likely to report losing mon- targeted by scammers for many years You don’t have to millennials are 25% ey to fraud than consumers 40 and over. because of the amount of money in- be premodern to more likely to com- Some of these other transactions include volved in just one “score.” It is especial- fall for it! plain to authorities ly important for all consumers to follow that they have lost “Perhaps the the instructions given by their real estate money to fraud than agents, lender representatives, and title consumers aged 40 millennials are more company officers, and to make sure that and over. if they are told those instructions have “The FTC’s latest trusting of what they suddenly changed, to double and triple Consumer Protec- see online, precisely check with all involved before sending tion Data Spotlight money in a different man- shows that millenni- because it is such ner than originally in- als-those ages 20- structed. 39-are twice as familiar, comfortable A healthy sense likely to report los- territory for them to of skepticism would ing money to online also be a very shopping fraud than navigate through.” good thing to de- those 40 and over. velop! t Online shopping fake check scams, services that prom- Reach Wayne fraud reports include ise to fix debt-related issues, or services Curtis of Charm complaints about promising income through jobs, invest- City Real Estate at items that are never ments, or business opportunities. (For in- 410-467-8950. delivered or are not formation on how to avoid these scams, as they were adver- visit Consumer.ftc.gov.) You've met the person of your dreams; let us help make another dream a reality.

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20 t BALTIMORE OUTLOUD october 25, 2019 • baltimoreoutloud.com leather

there were gay leather clubs. When the he became presi- Baltimore Eagle opened in 1991, Steve dent. As president Lord Stephen bought his first pair of leather chaps he presided over J. Cather – there and became more involved in the three successful Mr. Maryland Leather leather community big events: the Leather 2005 Line By 2000 people started asking him club’s anniversary Rodney Burger to run for a leather title. Having dys- dinner (which was lexia, he wasn’t sure if he was ready. attended by three Plus, he did not own very much leather IML judges), the beyond that pair of chaps. In 2002 he club’s Maryland Another traveled to Chicago to attend the Inter- Leather Weekend, national Mr. Leather Contest (IML) and and the first ever to get a feel for what it was all about. Leather Ball – a Mr. Maryland The Mr. Maryland Leather 2003 Contest dance at the Club was held in February and not the tradi- Hippo. tional November. It ended up being held Recently we Leather during a big snowstorm and was not a both lost a dear financial success. Steve hoped to run in friend and leather Since I started writing this column in 2004, but the Mr. Maryland Leather Con- mentor, Vern Stew- 2005, I interviewed many Mr. Maryland test was not held that year. He ran for Mr. art. I wrote about my Leather titleholders. Recently I sat down Maryland Leather 2005 and was thrilled favorite Vern stories with one that I missed. I was excited to to have been selected. In a nod to his in my last Leather finally tell his story because he is also proud Scottish heritage, he wore a kilt on Line. I couldn’t re- a dear friend. Allow me to introduce you stage. Although many leather titlehold- sist asking Steve to Lord Stephen J. Cather, Mr. Maryland ers now wear kilts, it was not looked on if he had a favorite Leather 2005. (Since Steve owns a very kindly by many leather folks at that time. Vern story. small piece of land in Scotland, he has He was advised to not wear a kilt in Chi- During Steve’s officially been recognized by the Scottish Mr. Maryland title Parliament as a lord.) “Although many year, COMMAND Born in Aberdeen, Maryland, and MC decided to have raised in the state’s Cecil County, Steve leather titleholders a new sash made. has resided for many years in Baltimore The sash that was City. All through school his family thought now wear kilts, it was presented to Steve of him as “artsy.” He didn’t label himself not looked on kindly on stage was huge. as gay, but even in college he knew that In fact, it was two he was not interested in dating women. by many leather folks sashes chained to- Although he never officially came out gether. The first to his family, one of his uncles Googled at that time. He was wide sash read “Mr. him in 2005 and discovered that Steve advised to not wear a Maryland” and the was a contestant for the International second sash read Mr. Leather Contest. The response he kilt in Chicago when “Leather.” It was so got from his family was: “Good for you!” large that it wrapped Steve is happy to say the he paved the he competed at IML around even Steve’s way for his cousin’s kids who came out and he didn’t. He large chest. At the as gay. large formal leather Like many men in Baltimore in the regrets not being true cocktail party during 1980s, he discovered the leather com- Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend in DC his contestant interview, one of the judg- munity when he walked into the Gallery to himself at IML.” someone came up to Steve and asked if es asked him to do something which he One bar on Maryland Avenue. Although he was Mr. Mary Leather (the “land” was refused three times. After the contest, it is still there today, at that time it was cago when he competed at IML and he wrapped behind him.) Vern wrote in his contestants are given their judge’s score a dress code leather bar. He confessed didn’t. He regrets not being true to himself leather column that “Mr. Maryland Leath- sheets complete with comments. One that he had met a man on “the block” (a at IML. Although he had attended IML be- er’s sash is so big that he is looking for judge wrote: “You need to get over your part of Baltimore known for adult book- fore, he was not prepared for how intense a bigger suitcase to take it to Chicago!” disability and get a life!” Steve’s first stores and strip clubs) who told him it was behind the scenes as a contestant. Steve resolved the problem and designed thought was: “Why is my disability more about the Gallery. There he discovered He put what he learned to good use years the beautiful Mr. Maryland Leather stole of a problem for you than it is for me.” the leather community and found a crowd later when he mentored other Mr. Mary- that the winner wears today. The stole This rude comment gave him a back- that would accept him. He soon joined land Leather contestants at IML. design, which goes around the shoul- bone which made him work even harder. a Monday night gay men’s group. In the When asked what advice he would ders, was a change from the traditional Towards the end of his title year he was group he met a man who was a member have for someone who wants to run for leather sash the hangs across the wear- approached by a newly sashed female of the Spartans MC (motorcycle club) a leather title, he quickly stated, “Work er’s chest. Many new contest producers leather titleholder. She beamed and told who taught him that on your resumé. Make sure it reflects have now adopted the stole design. They Steve that she had dyslexia also. He had some community service and is profes- are easier to wear and photograph beau- inspired her to run for a leather title. In sionally written. The application is tifully. (Steve retired the large sash. The that moment his title year was all worth- the judge’s first impression of the last time I saw it, he had it hanging in while. contestant. Make a good first im- his basement like a sling.) When Steve On Saturday, November 2nd Mr. pression.” wore the Mr. Maryland Leather stole for Maryland Leather 2020 will be select During his 2005 title year, he the first time at American Brotherhood during a contest held at the Ottobar in was also made a member of the Weekend (ABW), he made sure Vern Baltimore. Details can be found at Com- COMMAND MC leather club and was the first one to see it. He approved. mandmc.org. I have many memories of was later elected vice president. When asked about the high point and Mr. Maryland Leather titleholders. It is Hail to the When the club’s low point of his leather title year, Steve hard to believe that it will soon be time to plaid! president resigned, had no trouble with his answers. During select another Mr. Maryland Leather. t

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