first heard of Dale Webster in Surfer Magazine six or seven And the thing is, by the time I catch that first wave, stand, and start years ago. He immediately became an inspiration to me. riding down the face, I know it’s all worth it. I’m doing myself a favor. On the surface, a guy like Dale Webster would seem like your I’ve never dale webstered it and rode only three to the beach. By the I typical Northern California burnout. He lives in a trailer in a third wave, I’m ready to ride three more and three more after that. It small town north of San Francisco. I’m not sure what he does for a liv- never fails. ing, but I’m pretty sure it’s nothing impressive. He’s never really been I don’t mean to suggest that Dale Webster is in this issue of the best at anything. But more than thirty years ago, he decided that he Razorcake or that he has anything to do with punk rock. He doesn’t was going to surf everyday of a 28-year lunar cycle. He started back really. He’s just an old surfer. Dale webster the verb, on the other on September 2, 1975. In February, 2004, he pulled it off. hand, has everything to do with punk rock. Because I’ve found that I This goal may seem quixotic. It may be. I’ve been up around can dale webster other things in my life. When it comes time to do a Bodega Bay. I’ve looked at the waves that Webster surfed every day little writing, to work a little extra on Razorcake or Gorsky Press, to for nearly thirty years. They’re not pretty waves. They’re do any number of things that I love but feel like I don’t have enough windswept. The water is cold and full of sharks. I love to surf, but I time for, I think about that old surfer and tell myself, “Three to the have no interest in surfing those waves. Still, every day for almost beach.” It’s a pretty fucking cool mantra to have running around your three decades, Dale Webster suited up, paddled out, and rode three head. It’s exactly the kind of thing that has driven us to release our waves to the beach. twenty-ninth issue of Razorcake now, exactly five years after Todd Now, in my mind, he’s more than a person. He’s a verb. Some days, Taylor and I first sat in a Mexican restaurant and hatched plans to start I ride my bike down to the beach, look at the waves, and think to this fucker. myself, fuck it. It’s not worth it. But then I’ll realize that I have a lit- So, in celebration of the fact that you’re alive right now, ride three tle extra time on my hands and I already own the surfboard and it to whatever beach you’re headed for, and tip your hat to crazy fuckers doesn’t cost me anything to go surfing and, well, I’m alive right now. and their quixotic dreams. May they give us all a little inspiration. So I’ll dale webster it. I’ll tell myself, “Three to the beach. You have time for that.” –Sean AD DEADLINES AD SIZES • Full page, 7.5” wide, 10” tall. ISSUE #30 • 1/2 pg: 7.5” wide, 5” tall. December 1st, 2005 • 1/4 pg:, 3.75” wide, 5” tall. ISSUE #31 • 1/6 page, 2.5” wide, 5” tall. February 1st, 2006 • Please make all checks out to Razorcake. Email [email protected] • We only accept electronic ads. for rates and full details. • All ads are black and white. Our ad rates are super. • We don’t reserve ad space. Cover photograph of Alicja Trout taken by Justin Bourke Cover designed by Amy Adoyzie "Spending plenty of time on something can be the most sophisticated form of revenge.” –Haruki Murakami, The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle Contact Razorcake: [email protected] Thank you list: Striped shirts plus Korgs thanks to Justin Bourke for his photos of Alicja Trout; genuine sweet tea thanks to Miss Erika for Alicja Toby Tober’s niece, Ellie, cuddles Trout interview and photos; transvestit thanks to Brad Beshaw for her first beer. Sweet, sweet memories. the illustration in Sean’s column; writing’s on the wrist thanks to Megan C. Brooks for the Constantines photo; “you’ll shoot yer eye out, kid” thanks to Kris Tripplaar for the photo in Dale’s column; hair won’t grow there thanks to Mitch Clem for the illustration in Nardwuar’s column; picking on kids half your size thanks to Jim Ruland for the So Unloved interview and photos; lasers and stuff thanks to Kat Jetson for the Checkers interview; ties are for wearin’, not for chokin’ thanks to Lowell Abellon and Susan Davis for the Checkers photos; everybody’s favorite Creedence cover band thanks to Ryan Leach for the Gun Club arti- cle and for the Checkers intro; guns, headbands, and church thanks to Jacqui Pierce for letting us use the Gun Club photos; you’re a patient breed for people thanks to Donofthedead, Jimmy Alvarado, Chris Pepus, Jenny Moncayo, KO!, Kurt Morris, the Lord Kveldulfr, Mike Frame, Sean Koepenick, Ty Stranglehold, Mr. Z, Speedway Randy, Brian Mosher, and Gus Straub for ceaselessly and masochistically wading through all the review materials that we send them. Todd’s eggplanted ankle and broken fibula would like to thank Shoreleave Shawn, Alicia, Ellis, and John for pulling him out of that abandoned pool and not leaving him on the side of the road; Megan Pants for making sure I didn’t die; Brandy Vick for going above and beyond the call of duty and providing the excellent medical advice that an upside down bucket to sit on in the shower probably wasn’t the best idea; and the rest of the local Razorcake family for keeping me in good spirits and taking care of a man down. Issue #29 December 2005 / January 2006 PO Box 42129 Los Angeles, CA 90042 www.razorcake.com WE DO OUR PART COLUMNS 4 Liz O. Guerrilla My Dreams 7 Art Fuentes Shizzville 8 Jim Ruland Lazy Mick 34 40 12 Amy Adoyzie Monster of Fun 15 Ben Snakepit Snakepit 52 16 Rev. Nørb Love, Nørb 44 20 The Rhythm Chicken The Dinghole Reports 22 Designated Dale I’m Against It 24 Josh Lane Kind of a Sewer 26 Gary Hornberger Squeeze My Horn 28 Sean Carswell A Monkey to Ride the Dog 31 Chrystaei Branchaw’s Photo Page 33 Dan Monick’s Photo Page INTERVIEWSANDFEATURES 34 Nardwuar Vs. David Cross 56 62 40 So Unloved by Jim Ruland 44 Paint It Black by Todd Taylor 52 The Checkers by Kat Jetson 56 Alicja Trout by Miss Erika 62 Oral History of the Gun Club by Ryan Leach FAVORITESANDREVIEWS 76 Top 5s Fuck you, Dale. You’re listing cats? Fuck, dude. Cats? Folks, this is why we re-used the unicorn header for him this time. Cats? 78 Record I listened to it and felt like I'd just beer-bonged nine gallons of cocoa... 104 Zine A fuzzy duck sewn into the back... 108 Book Well, I owe the author an apology. Because I honestly didn’t finish this book... 112 DVD A little boy who believes his dead mother has been reincarnated as a tree in the backyard... Individual opinions expressed within are not necessarily those of Razorcake/Gorsky Press, Inc. Razorcake/ Gorsky, Inc. Board of Directors are: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Dan Clarke, Katy Spining, Leo Emil Tober III This issue of Razorcake and www.razorcake.com were put together by: Todd Taylor, Sean Carswell, Josh Lane, Megan Pants, Skinny Dan, Amy Adoyzie, Keith Rosson, Juila Smut, and Chris Devlin Razorcake is bi-monthly. Issues are $3.00 ppd. in the U.S. Yearly subscriptions (six issues) are $15.00 bulk rate or $21.00 first class mail. Plus you get some free shit. These prices are only valid for people who live in the U.S. and are not in prison. Issues and subs are more for everyone else (because we have to pay more in postage). Write us and we’ll give you a price. Prisoners may receive free single issues of Razorcake solely via Books to Prisoners, 92 Pike St., Box A, Seattle, WA 98101. Want to distribute Razorcake in the United States? The minimum order is five issues. You have to prepay. For $10.00, you’ll receive five copies of the same issue, sent to you when we do our mailout to all of our distros, big and small. Email [email protected] for all the details. This is very small type. There’s nothing to read here. Independent GGUUEERRRRIILLLLAA MMYY DDRREEAAMMSS music is LIZ O thriving in Canada. O h, Constantines photo by Megan C. Brooks, megancbrooks.com Lately, it sounds like something is brewing north of the United States. Sift through Lthe piles new releases at your local record store or click through your favorite MP3 site Liz O.: One thing that consistently comes up and you might notice it too: independent music is thriving in Canada. in your press is Fugazi and Dischord Steve Lambke, vocalist and guitarist for Toronto-based five piece Constantines, may Records. How were you affected by say that he has no explanation for these phenomena. However, during the course of this Dischord, in terms of both sound and the half-hour interview, all roads seemed to lead toward his home country, whether it was DIY ethic? discussing the DIY shows Lambke threw as a student at University of Guelph, why Steve: We were definitely all fans growing Canadian indie bands make more videos than their American counterparts, or the influ- up.