Tinisex and Gender Trouble

Sherry Turkle

uest Editors' Now Most ofu.s, that world h0.s created fortn.r of niosf ($the time, neatly,fit our- Iznmnn interaction thut cannot rely This article is excerpted ,from selves and ofherr info one @ on such takeng?wgratzted knowl- Life on the Screen, b,y Sherry fwo tnirtnall)~exclusive social edge. When a person is online, Turkle. Copyright 0 I995 by Sher- categories. We are either men one's jienfler identity must be ry Turkle. Reprinted hy permission or women; we cannot he both uctively consti-ucted and presented of Sinion ancl Sckuster; Inc. Sherry at once. Tkis is something we fake witlzitz an interarfion. Her accounts Turkle is Pr~$essor; Science Tech- fir granted, Sherry TurkkS Life on a/ gender-swapping and virfual nology and Society, E51-296C thc Scrccn: ldentily in the Age of cross-dxssing suggest ways in Massachusem In.sfifufe of Tech- the Intcrnet is an entlmography of which computer technologies can nology, Cumhridge, MA 02138. the Internet world. In this excerpt provide unique opportunitie.s for Email: [email protected]. fivm tlze book, slze examines how exploring how we enact our gender

8 IEEE Technology and Society Magazine, Winter 1999l2000 identities and what we require o/ option. I wondered if playing a iuvolved a different attitude about other,s as they enact their,s. male might allow me to feel lcss sexual advances, which now A word on acronyms. Multi-U.rer out of place. I could stand on the seemed less threatening. As a Domains (MUh)are Internet /oca sidelines and people would expect woman 1 have a hard time deflect- lions, vituul .s/xice,s in which partici- me to makc the lirst move. And I ing a request for convcrsation by pants interact anonymoirsly. Most could choose not to. I could choose asserting my own agenda. As a are text-hused but .some use gruplzi- simply to “lurk,” to stand by and MUD male, doing so (nicely) CUI icons. They are computer pro- observe the action. Boys, aEter all, seemed more natural; it never gram urganized around different were not called prudes if they were struck me as dismissive or rude. themes, games, and interests but they too cool to play kissing gamcs. OC course, my reaction said as share the churucteristic that MUD They were not categorized 11s wall- much about the construction of pluyers participate through the tlowcrs il they held back and did- gender in my own mind as it did pmcess of creuting themselves with- n’t ask girls to dance. Thcy could ahout the social construction of in the communi@ activity. Lambda simply be shy in a manly gender in the MUD. MOO iv U ,specific MUD (MOO is way-aloof, above it all. Playing in MUDS, whether as a “MUD Object C)riented”.) Two days later I was back in man, a woman, or a neuter charac- the MUD. ACtcr I typed the coin- tcr, I quickly fell into the habit of From my earliest effort to con- mand that joined mc, in Boston, to orienting myself to new cyberspace struct an online persona, it occurred the computer in California where acquaintances by checking out to me that being a viitual man the MUD resided, I discovered their gender. This was a strangc might be more comCortable than that 1 had lost the paper on which excrcisc, especially because a sig- king a virtual woman. 1 had writtcn my MUD password. nificant proportion of the When I first logged on to a This incant that I could uot play fcinalc-presenting characters were MUD, I named atid described a my own character hut had to log RL incn, and a good number of the character but forgot to give it a on as a gucst. As such, 1 was male-presenting characters were gender. I was struggling with the assigned a color: Magenta. As RL women. I was not alone in this technical aspects of the MUD uni- “Magenta-gucst” I was again curiously irrational preoccupation. verse - the difCerencc between vw- without gender. While I was strug- For many players, guessing the true ious MUD commands such as gling with basic MUD commands, gender ol players behind MUD “saying” and “emoting,” “paging” other players were typing mes- characters has become something and “whispering.” Gender was the sages for all to see - such as of an art form. Pave1 Curtis, the last thing on my mind. This rapid- “Magenta-guest gazes hot and €ounder of LambdaMOO, has ly changed when a male-prescnl- enraptured at thc approach of observcd that when a female - pre- ing character namcd JiCCy asked Fire-Eater.” Again I was tcmptcd senting character is called some- mc if I was “really an it.” At his to hide from thc frat party atmos- thing likc FabiilousHotBahe. one question, I experienced an unplea- phere by trying to pass as a man.’ can be almost sure there is a man surable seine of disorientation When much later 1 did try playing behind thc mask? . . . which immediately gave way to an a male character, I Cinally experi- unfamiliar seiisc of freedom. enced that permission to move GENDERTROUR1,E’ When Jiffy’s question appeared freely I had always imagined to he What is virtual gender-swap- on my scrccn, I was standing in a the birthright of men. Not only ping all about? Some of tliosc who room of LambdaMO0 filled with wits I approached less frequently, do il claim that it is not particularly characters engaged in sexual ban- but 1 found it easier to respond to significant. ”When I play a woman ter in the style of the movie Aninarrl an unwantcd overture with I don’t really take it too seriously,” House. The innuendos, double aplomb, saying something likc, said twenty-year-old Andrei. “I do cntcndres, and leering invitations “That’s ilattcring, Ribald-Temptress. it to improve the ratio oi‘women to were scrolling by at B fast clip; I but I’m otherwise cngaged.” My lclt awkward, as thuugh at a party sense of Crccdom didn’t just to which 1 had been invited by mis- take. I was reminded ofiunior high school dances when 1 wanted to go home or hide behind the punch howl. 1 was reminded of kissing games in which it was awful to bc chosen and awful not to he chosen. Now, on the MUD, I had ii new

IEEE Technology and Society Magazine, Winter 199912000 men. It’s just a game.” On onc lev- spicuously. [When online] I MUDding as a €enlale character. In el, virtual gender-swapping is easi- don’t actually have [vi~tual] response to my question, “Has er than doing it in real life. For a sex with anyone. I get out of MUDding ever caused yon any man to present himself as female in that by telling the men there emotional pain?” he says, “Yes, a chat room, on an IRC channel, or that I’m shy and still unsure. but also the kind of learning that in a MUD, only requircs writing a But I like hanging out; il comes from hard times.” description. For a man to play a makes gays secin less wornan on the streets of an Ameri- strangc to me. But it is not so I’m having pain in my play- can city, hc would have to shave easy. You havc to think about ing now. The woman I’m various parts of his body; wear it, to make up a life, a job, a playing in MedievaIMUSH makeup, pcrhaps a wig, a dress, set of rcactions. [Mairead] is having an intcr- and high heels; perhaps cliangc his csting relationship with a voice, walk, and mannerisms. IIe Virtual cross-dressing is not as fellow. Mairead is a lawyer. would have some anxiety about simplc as Andrei suggests. No1 It costs so much to go to law passing, and there might be cven only can it be technically challeng- school that it has to be paid more anxiety about not passing, ing, it can be psychologically coin- for by a corporation or a plicated. Taking a noble house. A man she met virtual role may and fell in love with was a involve you in nobleman. He paid for her ongoing relation- law school. He bought my ships. In this pro- [Case slips into referring to cess, you inay dis- Maireed in the first person] cover things about contract. Now he wants to yourself that you marry inc although I’m a nevcr knew before. commoner. I finally said yes. You, may discover I try to talk to him about the things about othci fact that I’m cssciitially his people’s response property. I’m a commoner, to you.,Yon arc not I’m basically property and to in danger of being a certain cxtciit that doesn’t arrested, but you bother me. I’ve grown I up are embarked on with it, that’s the way life is. which would pose a risk of vio- an entcrpsise that is not without He wants to deny the situa- lence and possibly anest. So more some gravity and emotional risk. tion. He says, “Oh no, no, no men are willing to give virtual In fact, one strong motivation to .... We’ll pick you up, set you cross-dressing ii try. But oncc they gender-swap in virtual space is to on your leet, the whole arc online as female, they soon find have TinySex as a creature of world is open to you.” that maintaining this liction is diffi- another gendcr, something that cult. To pass as a woman for any suggests more than an emotionally But cverytime I behave like length of time requires imderstand- neutral activity. Gender-swapping I’m now going to be a count- ing how gender inflects speech, is an opportunity to explore con- ess some day, yon know, manncr, the interpretation of expe- flicts raised by one’s biological assert myself - as in, “And I rience. Women attempting to pass gender. , , , By enabling people to never liked this wallpaper as men facc the same kind of chal- experience what it “feels” like to anyway” - I get pushed lenge. Oue woman said that she be the nppositc gcnder or to have down. The relationship is “worked hard” to pass in a room on no gender at all, the pull up, push down. it’s an a commercial network service that practice.encourages reflection on incredibly psychologically was advertised as a meeting place the way ideas about gender shape damaging thing to do to a for gay men. our expectations. MUDS and thc person. And the very thing virtual personae one adopts within that he liked about her - that 1 have always been so curious thcm arc objects-to-think-wit11 for she was independent, strong, about what men do with each reflecting 011 the social construc- said what was on her mind - other. I could never even lion of gender. it is all being bled out of her. imagine how they talk to each Case. a tliirtv-fonr-vear-old other. I can’t exactly go to a industrial designer-who is- happily Case looks at me With a wry smilc gay bar and eavesdrop incon- marfiecl to a coworker, is currently and sighs, “A woman’s life.” He

IEEE Technology and Society Magazine. Winter 1999l2000 .. continues: being offered help, -.,., .. some reflect that I see her [Mairead] heading those offers of hclp Bsimale, I could staridon t:he:1.’. .: .:. for a major psychological may well have led problem What we have is a them to believe dysfunctional relationship. a woman,lleeded TintAs sidelilies and people would expect But even though it’s very painful and stressful, it’s very you ask for help interesting to watch myself cope with this problem. How itbecause will beyou cxpedi- think me to idhe the first inoye, : . . .. :’. ! am I going to dig my per- cnt,” says a collere- .. .,...... sona’s self out of this mess? sophomore, “then Because I don’t want Lo go on you realize that you aren’t dcvcl- Growing up. competition was like this. I want to get out of oping the skills to figure things out thrust upon him and he didn’t much it .... You can see that playing for yourself.” . , , like it. Garrett, whosc parents this woiimn lets me see what Garrett is, a twenty-eight-year- divorced when he was an infant, I have in my psychological old male computer programmer rarely saw his father, His mother repertoire, what is hard and who played a female character on a offered little protection from his what is easy for me. And I MUD for nearly a year. The char- brother’s bullying. An older cousin can also see how some of the acler was a frog named Ribbit. regularly heat him up until Garrett things that work when you’re Whcn Ribbit sensed that a new turned fourteen and could inflict a man just backfire when player was Cloundering, a sinall some damage of his own. Garrett you’re a woman. sign would materialize in her hand got the clear idea that inalc aggrcs- that said,. “If you are lost in the sion could only be controlled by Case hiis played Mairead for MUD, this frog ciin be a friend.” male force. . . . From Garrett’s point nearly a year, hut even a brief Whcn talking about why he of view, most computer bulletin experience playing a character of chose to play Ribbit, Garrett says: boards and discussion groups are another gender can be evocative. not collaborative but hostile envi- William James said, “Philosophy I wanted to know more about ronments, characterized by “flam- is the art of imagining alterna- women’s experiences, and ing.” This is the practice of trading tives.” MUDs are proving grounds not just from reading about angry and often ad bomincin for an action-based philosophical them .... I wanted to see what remarks on any given topic. practice that can serve as a form of the difference felt like. I consciousness-raising about gen- wanted to experiment with There was a premium on der issues. For example, on many the other side.... I wanted to saying something new, MUDs, offering technical assis- he collaborative and helpful, which is typically something tance has become a common way and 1 thought it would be that disagrees to some extent in which male characters “pur- easier as a Cemale _.__As a with what somebody else chase” female attention, analogous man I was brought up to be has said. And that in itself to picking up the check at an RL territorial and competitive. I provides an atmosphere dinner, In real life, our expecta- wanted tu try something that’s ripe for conflict. tions about sex roles (who offers new.... In some way I really Another aspect, 1 think, is hclp, who buys dinner, who brews felt that Ihe canonically the fact that it takes a certain the coffee) can become so female way of communicat- degree of courage to risk ingrained that we no longer notice ing was more productive really annoying someone. them. On MUDs, however, expec- than the male-in that dl this But that’s not necessarily tations are expressed in visible tex- coinpctitioii got in the way. true on an electronic medi- tual actions, widely witnessed and um, because they can’t get to openly discussed. When men play- And indeed, Garrett says that as you. It’s sort of like hiding ing females are plied with iinre- a female frog, he did feel freer to behind a wall and throwing quested offers of hclp on MUDs, express the helpful side of his stones. You can keep throw- they oflen remark that such chival- nature than he ever had as a man. ing them as long as you want ries communicate a belief in “My competitive side takes a back and you’re safe. feemale incompetence. When seat when I am Ribbit.” Garrett’s women play inales on MUDs and motivations for his experiment in Garrett found MUDs different realize that they are no longer gender-swapping run deep. and a lot morc comfortable. “On

IEEE Technology and Socisty Magazine, Winter 1999l2000 ing it.” Garrett space as a way ol‘lil’e. says that when he As more and more people hive helped others as a loggcd 011 to this ncw way of life female frog, it was and have experienced the effects of taken as welcome, virtuality, a genre of cultural criti- natural, and kind. cism is emerging to intcrpret these Bjrtual cross-dressin!] a trq,1 Whcii he now phenomena. An article in The New helns as a male York 7lnze.s dcscribed ncw books on frog, people find it the subjcct by dividing thcm into MUDS,” he says, “people were unexpected and suspect that it is a three cntcgorics- utopian, otilitari- making a world together. You got scduction ploy. The analogy with an, and apocalyptic.“ Utilitarian no prestige from being abusivc.” his real life is striking. There, too, writers emphasize the practical sidc Garrett’s gender-swapping on he found that playing the hclping of the new way of life. Apocalyptic MUDS gave him an experience-to- rolc as a man led to trouble because writers warn us of increasing social think-with for thinking about gen- it was easily misinterprcted as an and pcrsonal fragmcntation, more der. From his point of view, all he attempt to create an expectation of widespread surveillance, and loss had to do was to replace inalc with intimacy of direct knowledge of the world. female in a charactcr’s description [As Garrett’s stories illustratc] To date, howevcr, the utopian to change how people saw him and oncc we takc virtuality seriously as approaches have dominated the what he fclt comfortable express- a way of life, we need a ncw lan- ficld. They sharc the technological ing. Garrett’s MUD expcricnce, guage for talking about the sim- optimism that has doininatcd post- whcrc as a female he could be col- plest things. Each individual must war culture, an optiinisin captured laborativc without being stigma- ask What is the nature of my rela- in the advertising slogans of my tized, left him comtnittcd to bring- tionships? What are the limits of youth “Beltcr living through chem- ing the helpful frog persona into my responsibility? And even more istry,” “Progress is our most impor- his life as a malc, both on and off basic: Who and what am I? What is tant product.” In our current situa- tbc MUD. . . . the conncction bctwecn my physi- tion, lechnological optimism tends When Garrctt stopped playing cal and virtual bodies? Aud is it to represent urban decay, social thc kmale Ribbit and started play- dillkcrent in different cyberspaces? dieniltion, and, economic polariza- ing a helpful male frog namcd Ron, These questions are framed to tion as out-of-datc forinulations of a many of Garrett’s MUDding coin- interrogate an individual, but with prohlcin that could bc solvcd if panions inlcrpreted his actions as minor modifications, they are appropriate technology were those of a wuman who now wanted equally central for thinking about applicd in sufkcicnt doses; for to try playing a man. Indeed, a year community. what is the nature of example, technology that would after his switch, Garrett says that at our social ties? What kind of link evcryonc to tbc “inCormation least one of his MUD fricntls, accountability do we have for our superhighway.” We all want to Drcdlock, remains unconvinced actions in real fife and in. cyber- believe in some quick and rclalivc- that the same person has actually space? What kind of society or ly incxpcnsivc solution to our diffi- played both Ribbit and Ron. Dred- societies are we creating, both on culties. Wc arc tempted to belicve lock insists that while Ribbit was and off thc screen? with the utopians that the Internet is erratic (he says, “She would some- a field for the flowering of partici- times walk out in the middle of a BEINGDIGITAL patory democracy and a medium conversation”), Ron is more [My research about tbe internet for the transformation of education. dcpcndable. Has Garrett’s behavior shows] people doing what they We are tempted to share in the changed? Is Garrctt’s bchavior the have always done: trying to under- utopians’ cxcitcmcnt at thc prospect samc but viewed differently stand themsclves land improve of virtual pleasures: sex with a dis- through the filter of gender? Gar- their lives by tising the materials tant partner, travel minus the risks rett believes that both are probably thcy have at hand. Although this end inconvenience of actually hav- true. “Peoplc on thc MUD have ... practice is familiar, the Fact that ing to go anywhcrc. , , , The new seen the change and it hasn’t ncc- these materials now include the practice of cntcring virtual worlds cssarily convinced them that I’m ability to livc through virtual raises fundiiinentiil questions about malc, hut they’re also not sure that personae mcans two fundamental our communities and ourselves. I’m fcmale. And so, I’ve sort of changes haw occtirrcd in our silua- (Cunfinued on p. 38) gotten into this state whcre niy gen- tion. We can easily move through der is unknown and people arc multiplc identities, and we can S Loh,: “TIE tneaning qfdifiiru life,’’ Thhc prctty much resigned to not know- embrace-or be trappcd by-cyber- New York Times, Ap?:24, 111115.

12 IEEE Technology and Society Magazine, Winter 1999l2000 technology resources acro 11 segments of society.

Elucidation of these issues is crucial, given the unprecedented pace of rcccnl innovations in informa- tion- and hio-technology and their potcnlial for bcnc- ticial, harmful, and even unintended effects. A valu- able intellectual contribution to establishing 21 context for exploring such important issues is offcred by Pree- man Dyson 121. In his brief, but excellent, treatment of issues of technology atid society, Dyson helps those who are not scientists and cnginccrs understand how scientific progress and social policy can combine to utilize recent and future innovations in solar energy, biotechnology and inlormation technology to improve the economic and human vitality of all individuals, despite their educational or economic status. In his introduction, Rhodes acknowledges thc unavoidable problem in any anthology cif excluding svmc topics that others may think arc important. Even with his omissions, lhis anlhology is a wcll- organized, insightlul and provocative exploration of 20th century technological innovation. Issues raised in this anthology provide us with a critical perspec-

Gender Tr o ub I e (Continuedjrom /I. 12)

social problems.. problems of community, identity, govcrnancc, equity, and values. There is no simple good news or bad news. Allhough it provides 11s with no easy answers, lifc online does provide new lcnscs through which to examine current com- plexities. Unless wc take advan- lagc of lhcsc new lenses and My account challenges any simple ships and sense of ourselves. My carefully analyze onr situation, we utililarian story. For every step for- accotml also calls inlo question lhc shall ccdc the future tu those who ward in the instrumental use of a apocalyptic and utopian views. want lo believe that simple lixcs technology (what the technology The issues raised by thc new way can solve complicated problems. can do for us), there are subjective of life are difficult and painful, Given Ihe history or the last cenln- effects. The technology changes us bccause they strike at the hear1 of ry, thoughts of such a future arc as people, changes our relation- our most complex and intransigent htirdly inspiring.

38 IEEE Technology and Society Magazine. Winter 1999l2000