“VERITAS VISIT US ON THE WEB AT SUPER www.phillipian.net OMNIA”

Volume CXXIX, Number 22 Phillips Academy, Andover, Massachusetts November 10, 2006 WPAA Election Latino Students Special Streamed Discuss Forming Worldwide Independent Group

By JACK DICKEY New Branch of Af-Lat- and CORA LEWIS Am Proposed to Address Latino Issues Although major broadcast net- works provided live coverage of Tuesdayʼs elections through the wee hours of the morning, WPAA By ALICIA KEYES provided an alternative star-stud- ded commentary. Hosted by Alex- Recently, a group of Latino ander Heffner ʼ08, The Progressive students met to discuss the possi- Mind became the fi rst Andover bility of forming an independent radio show to be available interna- Latino club. If formed, the new tionally over the Internet. club would probably be an exten- Over 540 people logged in to sion of the African Latin Ameri- WPAA.com to listen to Tuesdayʼs can Society (Af-Lat-Am), rather broadcast. According to Henry than a separate entity, according Frankievich, General Manager to Af-Lat-Am President Edwin of WPAA, the “Election Night Diaz ʼ07. Special” drew listeners from as Despite the clear Latino pres- far away as California and even ence on the Af-Lat-Am Board, Mexico. Others tuned in from including the President, Diaz, Pennsylvania, Washington D.C., some students still feel the need New York, Maine, Tennessee, for a club dedicated solely to La- Colorado, Illinois, North Carolina, tino culture. Ohio, Oregon, and Connecticut. Af-Lat-Am exists to celebrate The program featured discus- W. Hunckler/The Phillipian the various black and Latino cul- sions with esteemed correspon- Big Blue goes red for a day. Andover students showcase their geekieest red attire, TI-83ʼs, and retainers on Thursday, gearing up tures at Phillips Academy. Origi- dents and analysts of American for Andover-Exeter rivalry weekend, the culmination of spirit week. nally created in 1968, Af-Lat- politics. Although Heffner had to sign off at midnight, before all of Am created one club for the two the Senate and House races were cultural groups because Black resolved, he obtained valuable and Latino students often have commentary. Eligible PA Seniors Vote in Midterm Elections similar backgrounds. Of the 1096 students at Two of the programʼs guests in this yearʼs midterm elections. In fact, some “The great surprise of the day was that we were PA alumni: Sarah Chayes ʼ80, Phillips Academy, roughly 100 By CHRISTINE CHOI were even surprised that Phillips Academy did got to meet Senator Chafee himself, who was a former NPR correspondent who not sponsor or promote Senior voting. more than happy to see students from his alma (9.2%) are black and 54 (5%) are was greeted with cheers at newly On campus political clubs campaigned for mater campaigning for him,” said Kumar. Hispanic/Latino. The term black Many members of the Class of 2007 were refers to African-Americans, elected Massachusetts governor eligible to vote in the midterm elections this specifi c candidates as well as their respective Though Kumar himself could not vote while Hispanic/Latino students Deval Patrickʼs victory party, and past Tuesday, and most of them chose to voice parties. Many of the Senior members of these because he is still 16, he said, “I am excited Evan Thomas ʼ69, Assistant Man- their political opinions, either via absentee clubs were especially enthusiastic because about this election and have tried to do my part can be of any race. aging Editor at Newsweek Maga- ballots for boarders or poll booths for day of their eligibility to fi nally participate in the by helping out with GOP campaigns, including Diaz said, “The matter is zine. students. voting process. that of Senator Chafeeʼs.” that with so many cultures rep- Other notable contributors Many Seniors expressed excitement over Headed by Prateek Kumar ʼ07, Phillips Despite the Republican Clubʼs efforts, resented in Af-Lat-Am, it is dif- were Sheryl Gay Stolberg, White the chance to vote and be a part of a process Academyʼs Republican Club traveled to Senator Chafee lost to now Senator Sheldon fi cult to specifi cally address the House Correspondent for the New that many have anticipated since middle Rhode Island on Sunday to campaign for Whitehouse by six percent of the votes. The differences within each cultural York Times, and Judy Woodruff, school. Though some students preferred to Senator Lincoln Chafee ʼ71. Republican Party lost a total of 33 seats in background. I was present at the PBS Political Correspondent. wait to learn more about the voting process and During their time in Rhode Island, Congress to the Democratic Party. [Latino student] meetings...and politics before casting their ballots, Seniors Republican Club members visited several generally demonstrated a high level of interest homes and held up signs at intersections, Continued on Page B4, Column 3 Continued on Page B5, Column 1 asking residents to vote for Senator Chafee. Continued on Page B5, Column 1

Widespread Caffeine Use Among EXPERTS DISCUSS Writer-in-Residence Bill Students Could Pose Health Risks ARTISTSʼ ROLE IN Lychack Hosts Reading concern. By CONOR McKINNON Caffeine can help a student ODERNIZATION By CORA LEWIS perk up before class in the M and ANISAH GIRANCUISA Overburdened with morning, or get through an all- homework, students often resort nighter. However, chronic heavy By HANNAH In Bill Lychakʼs novel, The to caffeine use, ignoring the darker users can experience health KAUFFMAN Wasp Eater, the main charac- possibility of problems, such as insomnia, ter eats wasps to brace himself addiction. anxiety, and even addiction. Although most artists in the against fear. According Many students noted that eighteenth century were commis- Mr. Lychack, Phillips Acad- to the caffeine use is clearly very sioned to produce images of mem- emyʼs current Writer-in-Resi- Phillipianʼs prevalent on the PA campus, orable structures or important dence, read from his work last 2006 State of as it is elsewhere. “I think itʼs fi gures, modernization during the Tuesday in the Freeman room. the Academy excessive, but necessary,” said nineteenth century changed the Mr. Lychack arrived on cam- Survey, only Stephanie Teo ʼ08. role of the artist to a refl ector and pus this Fall to teach fi ction and poetry workshops, though he has They also felt that caffeine interpreter of American society. 12.5% of 737 students who not yet published any poems of responded have used caffeine pills use is an essential part of life here. “Coming of Age: A Sympo- Mike Jiang ʼ07 commented, “I his own. on campus. However, widespread sium Exploring a Century of Art English Instructors Jon Sta- use and accessibility of other drink four or fi ve Mountain Dews and Artists from the Collection every day. Do I think [caffeine bleford, Kevin OʼConnor, and forms of the drug makes caffeine of the Addison Gallery” featured Carolyn Kelly selected him from use] is prevalent? Yes. But is it addiction a valid concern. R.Waldo/The Phillipian eight art history professors, with a pool of over one hundred ap- With full schedules and endangering the studentsʼ health? These caffeinated drinks sold William Agee, Evelyn Kranes plicants. demanding workloads, caffeine is No.” He continued, “I donʼt think in Ryley are popular among Kossak Professor of Art History “We were taken with the a helpful and sometimes necessary the negative effects of caffeine PA students. at Hunter College, as the keynote beauty and genuine modesty of Lychack’s most recent work, part of life at Andover. use outweigh the benefi ts, like speaker. his craft. It worms its way in and The Wasp Eater. Caffeine is a widely consumed, being able to stay up.” heart rate, promoting alertness. Their presentation focused takes a hold of you,” said Mrs. albeit addictive, chemical at PA, The drug works by blocking Other students agreed that mainly on pieces in the current Kelly. Lychack said, “I never knew and while many in the community receptors for the neurotransmitter while it is obviously a popular exhibit at the Addison that portray The Wasp Eater, published in my father... and all the stories I feel that it is a useful and essential adenosine in the brain, preventing substance, caffeine consumption consequential changes in the Unit- 2004, is set in 1979 and tells the was writing were father-son wish part of their day-to-day routines, the body from recognizing ed States due to modernization. story of a ten-year-old boy who fulfi llment stories.” He went on caffeine use can become a medical sleepiness. It also increases the Continued on Page B4, Column 1 “Coming of Age: American is on a quest to reunite his fam- to say that he “ended up forgiv- Art, 1850s to 1950s” features a ily after his father cheats on his ing him.” variety of artworks, from Arthur mother. Lychack named his novel When asked how much of his Doveʼs abstract, fuzzy lines to for the main characterʼs penchant own life was intertwined with the Frederic Edwin Churchʼs realistic for eating wasps to deal with his plot of The Wasp Eater, Lychack answered, “The best parts are Admissions Boosts Recrutiment Efforts landscapes. A common theme of emotions. Lychackʼs personal experi- fi ction.” American art transformation tie ences greatly infl uenced the Although he is considering To Increase Diversity Among Applicants these paintings together. novelʼs plot; he wrote the book writing a book about his mother Angela Miller, Professor in prospective students. Andover diversity to Andover. Within in order to put his dead father to rest. is known for its dedication to the past few years, the Board of Continued on Page B5, Column 1 Continued on Page B5, Column 4 By ANNA BURGESS creating one of the most diverse Trustees approved an Affordabil- student bodies among secondary ity Initiative to give 40 percent of The Admissions Offi ce plans schools. the student body fi nancial aid. In to reach out to different geo- In a recent trip out west, Mrs. order to maintain a high level of Inside The Phillipian graphic areas, offer more fi nan- Fried traveled to Helena, Great socioeconomic diversity among Big Blue Football Main- Silk Defends Student cial aid, and create a committee Falls, Missoula and Bozeman, the students, the Academy must of current students and faculty to tains Perfect Record Council Mont. and Jackson and Lander, add an additional $1 million dol- help choose new students in an at- After winning against worcester School President Danny Silk Wyo., where she met with over 50 lars to the fi nancial aid budget tempt to increase student body di- Academy, the team looks to defeat ʼ07 writes to the editor in repsonse prospective families. Her visit as every year. versity for the 2007-2008 school Exeter for a spot in the champion- to last weekʼs criticism of student a boarding school representative Andover is able to set aside year. ships. Page B3 government. Page A2 in Montana was so unusual that over $11.7 million in aid to give Over the past year, Jane Fried, she was even asked to speak on a to qualifying students. This al- Dean of Admission, has visited radio talk show during her trip. lows Andover to offer 41 percent Exonian Report: Viscaus Dave Holliday is the Nerd London, Hong Kong, Singapore, Other admissions offi cers of the student body partial fi nan- Basilisk Ingests Exeter Theater 520 presents a comedy South Africa, and India to fur- will make trips out to the western cial aid and 10 percent full fi nan- on how the life of an architect is ther Andoverʼs tradition of having Griffi n United States later this year. Two cial aid. In response to the Acad- forever changed by the arrival of a “Youth from Every Quarter.” Exeter students remain deeply of the nine admissions offi cers emyʼs Strategic Plan, the Board of nerd! Page A8 Ms. Fried has also scouted trifl ed by the loss of their mascot. are always on the road to insure Trustees recently awarded the ad- students in states such as Illinois, Page A3 SECTIONS that they see as many families as ditional funds to the Admissions Texas, Wyoming, Colorado, Cali- possible between the beginning Offi ce. News...... B4-B5 fornia, and New York. Unlike of school and January, when the Financial aid grants are given Veterans Speak at ASM most other schools, Andoverʼs As a preface to Veteranʼs Day, Commentary...... A2, A7 selection process begins. to a student based on the appli- admissions offi cers frequently M.Discenza/The Phillipian Carlson and Doherty ʼ59 shared per- The Exonian...... A3-A6 The Admissions Offi ce is aim- revisit areas in the same admis- ACDC decorated campus to sonal experiences and the tale of PA Entertainment...... A8 ing to bring more socioeconomic Continued on Page B4, Column 1 raise school spirit before A/E. sions cycle in order to draw more alum Hudnerʼs bravery. Page B4 Sports...... B1-B3, B6 A2 THE PHILLIPIAN COMMENTARY NOVEMBER 10, 2006

Volume CXXIX

NUMBER 22 Letters to the Editor sions.” I agree it is possible for mitories—an idea which two Juniors Stephen S. Blackman In Defense of someone to be elected because he recommended during last springʼs Editor-in-Chief or she is funny and/or radical, but I housing process. Within two weeks Student Council do not think such was the case for of mentioning the idea to the Clus- this yearʼs Student Council. If it is, ter Deans, Ms. Aya Murata, the Pine Emma W. Wood Lauren J. Kelleher Prateek Kumar SIR: then I consider myself lucky, because Knoll Cluster Dean, gathered all of

News Director Managing Editor Deputy Managing Editor many of the members are dedicated the requested information and even I respect the fact that The Philli- and give a great amount of their time; took pictures of the dormitories. Stu- pian encourages students to exercise otherwise, we would not have been dents can now access this information their right to free and open expression. News Director of Production Business Manager able to do so much this term. This under the “Students” tab of PAnet. But after reading last weekʼs Student Song Kim Katharine Matsumoto Henry Frankievich year I have received compliments While Bloom certainly has a right Council-bashing article, “Who is to Alexa Reid from students, faculty members, and to form and voice his own opinions, Blame? A Look at Doomed Student Head of Photography Advertising Director administrators alike regarding the I wish that he had at least articulated Initiatives,” I knew I had to respond Brooks Canaday Justin Waite councilʼs ability to speak honestly his concerns to a Student Council Commentary to author Oliver Bloomʼs inaccurate and to stay on topic. member or at a Student Council meet- Yoni Gruskin reporting with some facts. Photography Editor The relationship between Student ing first. We welcome Oliver and all Danielle Rothman Circulation While Bloom is obviously upset Rebecca Waldo Council and the administration is not other students interested in learning Suzanne Hwang that Student Council has not been at all comparable to the one Bloom more about Student Council to attend Cecily Pulver able to get “popular and meaning- Sports Associate Editors describes in his article. In fact, I our weekly meetings. In order to Steve Loeffler ful” things done— like putting more Peter Dignard News: Katherine Chen, Elinor would argue that the administra- keep everyone updated, we even post toasters in Commons— he fails to Rush Martin Garcia-Garcia, Conor McKin- Technology tion does not lessen the power of the minutes from the meetings on our non, Madeleine OʼConnor recognize the great strides Student Will Sherrill council, but rather augments it. Stu- PAnet web site (under the “Students” Commentary: Adam Giansir- Ethan Schmertzler Council has recently made elsewhere. dent Council has provided valuable tab), and there is a Student Coun- acusa, Kate Iannarone, James Abhishek Mukherjee Over the past eight months, Student input to administrators on several cil write-up in The Phillipian every Entertainment Sawabini Council has arranged discounts for occasions. Currently we have rep- week. Finally, we encourage anyone Chris Li Sports: Jen Downing, Sara Ho, Senior Associates students at three major downtown Chad Hollis, J.R. Santaniello resentatives in over five committees with questions, comments, sugges- Jess White Commentary: John Gwin restaurants, has helped start the An- Entertainment: Lisa Lian, comprised mostly of faculty mem- tions, or criticism to e-mail Student Features: Pete Smith dover Campus Decorating Committee Megan Richards bers and administrators. We will Council at studentcouncil@andover. Features Entertainment: Polly Sinclair (AC/DC), an organization devoted to Features: Jonathan Adler, Steve even be leading the discussion at this edu. Will Cannon Bartz Cartoon: Nathaniel Flagg beautifying the campus for Andover- Mondayʼs faculty meeting. David Curtis Photo: Will Hunckler, Murphy Exeter weekend, and has created the Respectfully yours, It is not only students who are Temple, Mike Discenza Copy Editor Academic Advisory Committee, a going out of their way to keep lines Business: Sarah Poole, Tantum Thomas Smyth student group designed to promote Danny Silk ʻ07 of communication open. At our last Collins communication between students and Student Council President Student Council meeting, Mr. Carlos the Dean of Studies Office. Just last Hoyt, Associate Dean of Students, night, Student Council submitted two and Mrs. Rebecca “Becky” Sykes, The Phillipian welcomes all letters to DITORIAL Abbot Grant proposals: one to reno- E Associate Head of School, came to the Editor. We try to print all letters, but vate the mailroom area of George discuss the Residential Education Washington Hall; the other to host because of space limitations, we rec- Program. In October, Mr. Michael a series of student, faculty, and staff ommend brevity and conciseness. We Williams, Director of Facilities, at- dinners. reserve the right to edit all submitted Expand the Airwaves tended a meeting to go over possible While I was frustrated that Bloom letters to conform with print restraints Ryley Room renovations proposals. decided to ignore these successful Mrs. Agatha Kip, the schoolʼs nutri- and proper syntax. We will not publish On Tuesday night, parents, alumni, friends and politically-minded and promising efforts, I was more tionist, is also planning on geting the any anonymous letters. Please submit people worldwide tuned in to WPAA to hear Alexander Heffner ʼ08 and a bothered by the way he criticized councils two cents about Commons letters by the Monday of each week to every student-elected member of variety of experts, including Newsweek Assistant Managing Editor Evan food later this term. The Phillipian mailbox in G.W. or to the council. He claimed that “it is Thomas ʼ69, former NPR international correspondent and Fuess Award Faculty members also contribute The Phillipian newsroom in the base- not fair to condemn the students we to Student Council initiatives. Last recipient Sarah Chayes ʼ80, and USA Today Congressional Correspon- elect... we elect them for the wrong ment of Morse Hall, or send an e-mail month, Student Council suggested reasons and with the wrong impres- to [email protected]. dent Andrea Stone discuss the midterm elections until midnight. This oc- setting up an on-line directory of dor- casion marked the first time WPAA has been available worldwide since the station moved from the FM airwaves to the Internet We believe the school should reexamine its broadcasting policies in light of the success of Tuesday nightʼs programming to allow WPAA to once again serve as a critical link among the PA campus, members of the far-flung Andover A Visit for Spencer community, and the town of Andover. Maggie Maffione TRAVELLER WPAA was taken off the air in May 2003 after a town resident This past Saturday, November 4th, Mr. Cardozo, Jeff DeLong ʼ08, and I flew to complained that students broadcasted what Mrs. Chase called “sexual, Pittsburgh to visit Spencer Rice ʻ08. As the violent and vulgar” content on their radio show. The stationʼs FCC li- community is aware, Spencer was in a car cense expired after a year off the air, and the antenna was torn down crash on his way to campus this year, re- sulting in a broken pelvis, internal injuries, with the rest of Evans Hall during the winter of 2004. When the station and confinement to a wheelchair. Almost resumed broadcasting, it was made accessible via a link on PANet, mean- nine weeks after his accident, Spencer has ing that only students and faculty could listen. made dramatic progress both physically and emotionally. It was a stealth visit. Spencerʼs mom Last night, however, WPAA recorded its highest listenership had tricked Spencer into getting ready since it began broadcasting on the Web, with 540 people logging on to early in the morning by telling him that he would be going on a day trip to see his aunt WPAA.com to listen to Heffnerʼs broadcast or access materials related to in Ohio. When we arrived at Spencerʼs the show. According to WPAA General Manager Henry Frankievich ʼ07, house, Mr. Cardozo burst in and exclaimed listeners tuned in from states across the nation, on both coasts, and even “Spencer, you forgot to sign in!” Spencerʼs face was a combination of sheer shock and Mexico. confusion. Jeff and I then tackled Spen- cer with big hugs, and his confusion and Although the cost and general inconvenience of building a new shock escalated to complete befuddlement as he asked, “Wait, so weʼre not going to antenna prohibit a return to the airwaves, Internet radio offers a vehicle to Ohio?!” reach an even wider audience, not just in Andover but around the world. Once the shock wore off, Spencer be- gan to tell us all about his recovery and then excitedly asked, “So, you guys want Phillips Academy has alumni living all over the nation and the to see my sweet battle scars?” Although world, many of whom subscribe to the Phillipian or read it online at phil- he has large scars on his arms and legs, he Courtesy of Maggie Maffione lipian.net. However, we are only a weekly paper, and cannot express the is still confined to a wheel chair and has wheelchair pass slowly, this Saturday was “SPENCER RICE” bracelets were a won- some nerve damage in his feet; his little attitudes of every student or report on every trend. On the other hand, an exception. The day flew by with lots of derful success, and all of you wearing the toe “dangles down kind of goofy,” but he laughs as Spencer showed off his wheel- blue bands helped to buy Spencer a video when WPAA first went on the air in 1965, it was one of the most popu- has made great progress. Every day he chair tricks and Jeff and I told him all of ipod. Spencer was thrilled to receive this lar radio stations in the town of Andover, broadcasting breaking news as works to increase his lower mobility by the Andover gossip. Spencer hopes to start gift and says that is has been a great help watching “Sit and Be Fit.” well as talk and music. visiting Andover in Winter Term when he distracting him from his condition and When Jeff and I asked Spencer his has learned how to walk again, and plans helping to pass the long hours cooped up secret to success, his face immediately lit on returning as an Upper in the class of in bed. Spencer also said, “Even the simple We applaud the current board of WPAA for their dedication to re- up with his mischievous grin. He wheeled 2009. Facebook messages from kids were a great over to his hospital bed and used his go- viving a once-thriving medium for communication on campus, and urge His other big plans include “getting fat help, and Iʼll never be able to thank you all pher (a handy tool used to reach objects off of Arbyʼs junk food” and turning his enough.” them to continue developing the potential their organization has. when you canʼt move easily) to grab his latch hook creations into accessory pil- The trip, graciously sponsored by PA, latest pieces of art. He proudly showed Jeff lows. In the meantime, he remains strong, was good medicine for Spencer and for the and me his latch-hooking pattern of a dog, working hard to get back the use of his legs community of friends and faculty who are Keep the Politics Out of Veterans Day his cross-stitching of a dancing “rapper and “falling asleep to Jay Leno every night cheered to see his progress and know that ducky,” and his most frustrating project: a like old people do.” he is returning to his old energetic self. leopard paint-by-numbers. When activity All joking aside, Spencer and his fam- Despite the terrible accident, Spencer is This past Wednesdayʼs All-School Meeting was supposed to be is limited, these handcrafts provide thera- ily have asked me to share his thanks with still the same old crazy kid who loves a a “non-partisan” celebration of Veterans Day, a recognition of the noble peutic amusement and have been key to the Andover community for their support good time and a great cross-stitch, and he his recovery process. They give Spencer sacrifices our soldiers have made for our country. While we wholeheart- throughout his accident. The cards and says that he canʼt wait to get back to “bum- a sense of accomplishment and help him presents sent by students and faculty let him ming around campus again and demolish- edly agree with that message and its pertinence today in light of grow- pass the endless hours spent in bed. know that he is in our thoughts and prayers ing the Taylor boys with his refined video- ing opposition to the Iraq war, we were disappointed with the way it Although days confined to his bed or and that we eagerly await his return. The gaming skills.” was presented.

Though Prateek Kumar ʼ07 deserves credit for his efforts in or- ganizing the ASM and pushing for greater recognition of Veterans Day and Memorial Day here on the Hill, we are disappointed that a well- A Call to Underclassmen meaning and heartfelt message devolved into a partisan pro-military time, these issues too have fallen out of because there exists no incentive for Annalee Leggett and the limelight. We should examine why change if they will not be affected by screed. Michaeljit Sandhu issues lose attention and what can be the changes they work towards. More- done to stop side-stepping issues and over, the turnaround rate for ideas is ex- The presence of the entire Republican Club on stage, along with LOWERS turning problems into ʻfads.ʼ tremely slow at Andover. If a fad doesnʼt Generally, when the student body die out by the time people take it seri- speaker John Doherty ʼ59ʼs tangential attack on Massachusetts Senator Andover is a school of fads. Every wants change, movements are lead by ously, it still has little chance of taking (and fellow Vietnam veteran) John Kerry, undermined the important term new songs come up that are re- upperclassmen. Uppers and Seniors un- effect in the foreseeable future. Take message of the presentation. If support of veterans should not be a peated endlessly at each dance, new derstand the problems and have a good for example, the school year extension partisan issue, these glaring signs of partisanship should not have been fashions become popular, and new sense of the way things work. Further- plan. Upperclassmen wonʼt even be af- problems with the school become ap- more, these older students are the ones fected by the changes. “Why should we present. In fact, the original message was lost in the seeming appearance parent. with the necessary connections to make campaign against the calendar exten- of hypocrisy. Last year, fall term was dominated things happen. They know the teachers sion since wonʼt even affect us?” by the crusade to reinstate the “Burn- and many are close with administrators. So, Juniors and Lowers are the class- With all due respect, this All-School Meeting was highly politi- ing of the A”, which got so popular that If the student body wants change, these es that will actually be affected by the t-shirts were made to support the cause. are the students to lead it. actions and thus we should be the stu- cized. Maybe it was by coincidence or accident that this occurred, but at Spring term of last year, it seemed that However, considering the slow pace dents who not only encourage change, any rate, we were dismayed that what should have been a presentation everyone was talking about Pearsonʼs at which change is actually made by ad- but also those who are consulted when about appreciation turned into one about party affiliation. renovations, from angry Uppers and ministrators at this school and the fact a movement begins. Only then will the Seniors petitioning in the library to that fads quickly die out, generally their longevity of an issue will be assured. freshman who finally learned where efforts will not make a difference with- It is obvious that we all want our These editorials represent the opinion of the Phillipian editorial Pearson was and why it was important. in their PA career. So, upperclassmen student body to be more active. How- board. However, just like the songs and fash- that have the highest chance of actually ever, this is not possible without the ef- ion trends that dominate campus for a making a difference are discouraged forts of lowerclassmen.

“All the news Special theyʼll Pull-Out let us print”

Volume CXXIX, Number Green Phillips Exeter Academy, Exeter, New Hampshire November 10, 2006 Harkness Table StuCo to Impeach Collapses; President Tex Damron Three Dead By Rolie Polie Olie Student Council announced impeachment proceedings against School President Charles “Tex” A Terrible Tragedy Dameron ʼ07 in response to what one member called “the most egregious violation of the sacred By Leonard Goldfarb symbolic position of student body president ever.” He was referring, of course, to EXETER, NH- It was a sad the startling discovery that Dam- day Wednesday on the Phillips eron was involved in a weekend Exeter Academy campus as stu- tryst with local prostitute Katie dents and faculty continued to Frecklestein ʼ18. To make mat- S. Goodcat/The Exonian grieve the loss of three students in ters worse, the allegations came Tex Dameron ’07 may be im- a horrific Harkness table tragedy. to light through photos obtained peached by StuCo. “I just canʼt believe something by the Phillipian, the acknowl- like this could happen, not here,” edged leader among prep school whether he likes it or not. said Seamus OʼDoyle ʼ07. He was newspapers. The Exonian was “Eight-year olds, dude,” com- surrounded by fellow students, unable to publish these photos due mented one Senior, “Thatʼs basi- all crowding around the outside to the actions of School Censor cally...legend status.” of the English building where the Saddam Hussein ʼ69, though they Principal Tyler Tingley said, accident happened. Students and have been variously described as “This is completely irresponsi- community members began leav- “disturbingly graphic,” “obscene ble conduct unbefitting a leader. ing flowers and cards outside the and g-ross,” and “the kind Iʼd pay In addition, I donʼt get what he building Wednesday evening. good money for on the Internet.” sees in that girl – the ʻmassage On Tuesday morning, during “These accusations are com- therapistsʼ at Madame Kimmeiʼs the third period English elective, pletely unfounded. I have done Filipino Love Palace give you the “Dan Brown is a Genius,” three a great job thus far as President, real bang for your buck.” students were killed when their planning such events as the Jew- It is alleged that even R&B ish Student Union hot dog eat- Harkness table collapsed and great R. Kelly has contacted ing contest, Hindu Society Milk Dameron in an attempt to get crushed their bodies beneath it. Chug, and First Annual Calculus The Harkness Table style of some pointers on seducing mi- Cup. YEE-HAW!” Dameron nors. Dameron would not com- teaching has been at the center of said. Exeterʼs history for over 75 years. ment on such allegations. R. Braile/The Exonian This is not the first blemish on It is a large, oval table that students While it is not within the jour- Dameronʼs record. In addition to nalistʼs realm to offer an opinion and teachers sit around during all appearing nearly naked, clad only classes to encourage discussion on whether or not Dameron is Basilisk Devours Entrails of Mascot; in a Texan flag, at a campaign ap- actually guilty, I will leave you and the easy flow of ideas. No- pearance, he has since been ac- with this one lasting image of the body expected that it would lead cused of misappropriating StuCo man Exeter has deemed fit to rep- to the death of three of Exeterʼs Community Mourns A Terrible Loss funds and selling nuclear secrets resent their school. While being most cherished seniors. to Kim Jong Il. Plus heʼs ugly. asked a typical question during Rory McDougall was in the cat standing up on two legs. A basilisk, for those who have Frown. What a sight he was to see, of- been living under a rock these an interview with him, a school class when the accident occurred. Public reaction to the an- of kindergarteners walked by the “We were all sitting around the By Robinson Crusoe ten magically taking his head off past few years, is a big, meanie- nouncement has been uniformly and replacing it with a humanʼs. faced snake thing. The basilisk nearby path holding hands. As table, just like we always do in all mixed. According to Math PG Dameron spotted these youngnʼs, of our classes. Soon, we were all This past week, a dark, omi- Itʼs as almost as if he was an ac- can supposedly “kill upon con- Pointextron 2000, “The nerds on nous cloud slowly inched over tual Exeter student of whom we tact,” which is coincidentally the he yelled across the quad “Hey, leaning into the center of the table StuCo seem to have their pant- the freshly dug gravesite of the all knew the identity of. Exeter expression used to described the Shortie!” because our discussion was so en- ies in a bunch over this one; you As one of the smallest chil- recently departed Exeter Grif- Principal Tyler C. Tingley, com- body odor of many Exeter stu- people are so amusing. End com- gaging. Next thing I knew, I heard fin. He was loved by all and was mented on the mascotʼs death. dents. dren turned their heads to see a snap and the table just went out. munication.” On the other hand, who had yelled at her, Dameron a very pretty, frolicky and prissy “Lion Rampant was very close to The Exeter administration Upper Lie N. Rampant said, “Itʼs Now read that back to me, does it creature to say the least. He was a my heart indeed,” Tingley stated, has been recently been under at- extended his thumb and pinky sound dramatic enough?” completely inappropriate that Tex fingers and raised them to his ear, father of five, a believer in the fine while scratching his rear end. tack by the furious student body. was having fun here at PEA, in Phillips Exeter Academy Pub- arts, an advocate of child moles- “His presence often gave me a In hindsight, many students feel as to mimic a phone. He mouthed lic Safety, or PEAPS, quickly ar- clear violation of Captain No- the words “call me,” and then tation and an ugly dog-like thing tingly feeling in my body. Get it? that the death could possibly have Funʼs [Director of Student Non- rived on the scene and uncovered proceded to lick his lips, wink that looked nothing like a mytho- Itʼs a play on words. My last name been prevented. Sean Beckett Activities Hugh Jass] decree. the cause of the accident. The col- and blow a kiss at the girl. logical creature. But most impor- is Tingley. Man, I gotta write that ʼ08, who is currently enrolled in He knew that all forms of fun lapse was blamed on one of the tantly, he was a friend. The name down. Wait ʻtil the boys over at Parseltongue-200, was recently As our interview ended, Dam- and frolicking (especially of the eron approached the girl who was Harkness Tableʼs faulty legs. that was given to this valiant the bar hear this one.” reported as going on a hunger sexual nature) were strictly for- Chief PEAPS Officer, Donald beast at birth is officially notated The funeral procession took strike for the cause. “There were hanging upside down from the bidden.” monkey bars. He then picked her Sullivan said of the accident, “Itʼs in Wikipedia as Lion Rampant. place last Sunday and was gener- tons of signs that predicted the Still, one thing is certain: this a shame that this could happen on Websterʼs Dictionary defines ally peaceful in nature. However, murder of Lion Rampant,” Beck- up and placed her in the back of event will come to define Damer- his VW minibus. our campus. Something like this the word “lion” as a large, heav- feelings of hatred and anger be- ett stated. “What about the writ- onʼs legacy as school president, hasnʼt happened at Exeter since ily built social cat and the word gan to emerge throughout the ing on the wall? You know, ʻTHE 1998.” “rampant” as rearing upon the Exeter community, for this was CHAMBER OF SECRETS HAS Next, and probably less wisely, hind legs with forelegs extended. no accidental death. The terrible BEEN OPENED. ENEMIES OF And there is no doubt that all of truth is that our Lion Rampant us can build the familiar image of had been brutally murdered by a Continued on Page 3, Column 4 Continued on Page 3, Column 1 our very own heavily built social common garden-variety basilisk. Harkness Method Used in Mid-East; “Wild Bill” All Conflicts Immediately Resolved Released is complete. There was no doubt, Isreali soldier and had difficulty By Don Quixote de la Mancha our oval table would save the explaining his endeavor, since he Middle East just as it has saved did not speak Hebrew. Thanks From Cage Last summer Principal Tin- other secondary schools.” to the Harkness table, our Prin- gley took on the Middle East cri- His first stop was Israel, where cipal did not end up in an Isreali Tingley contended the Harkness prison that day, which, as he re- sis with the most classic Exeter T. Kaczynski/The Exonian problem-solver, the Harkness philosophy would help the Isre- ported, typically lack any sort of Will Travel to Andover table. As he explained just be- ali government better communi- Student-Center. Tingley quickly fore leaving for the trip, “Just as cate with Hezbollah and Hamas. ordered his crew of carpenters to Students Defy Dress Code: our proud Harkness table saved Upon arriving, he went straight build him a Harkness table, while By Hugo Posh to Isreali Millitary Headquarters the Isreali solider stood waiting. Andover students from eternal EXETER, NH – In an as- with his gang of carpenters. How- Only once it was completed could Corporal Punishment Used hellfire, so shall it save the Ar- tounding turn of events, newly ever, Tingley was stopped by an Tingley communicate with the abs once this Harkness Crusade hired PEAPS officer Tom Clancy solider, and, with the magic of the announced Tuesday that campus By Michael McMichaelson oval, explain his goal. legend “Wild Bill” would be re- The soldier was immediately leased from his cage temporar- Last Tuesday, a group of 26 fist of justice. The ceremony took struck by the power of the Hark- ily for the Exeter/Andover athletic ness and offered to personally es- students led by a free-spirited a proverbial “trip down memory contests. Sean Beckett ʼ09 abandoned the lane,” back to the Golden Age cort Tingley and his crew to the William “Wild Bill” Mac- Israeli Military Headquarters. On school dress code for torn jeans of the Academy, a time of haz- Gregor, now in the class of 2007, and Hawaiian shirts. They jus- ing and paddling alike. And the way, he asked Principal Tin- has attended Phillips Exeter since tified their actions by declaring though those times may have gley about the Harkness table, and 1992, having never quite fulfilled an “Impromptu Funky Flowered ended with the passed legislation all of its magic. As he explained the requirements necessary to Shirt Day.” The students were of a spineless, hippy Washington, to the soldier, “Millions of years graduate. It is speculated that he swiftly reprimanded, to stifle the the Dean of Students took a risk ago Exeter students roamed their chooses to fail the mandatory development of any Andover- in dealing with these disrespect- campus as you do now, confused swim test every year in order that esque attitude. ful young people. And so, the from miscommunication. The he might spend another year at the The Exeter community is still studentsʼ dorms were raided and only structure available to them Academy. recovering from the disciplinary their Vineyard Vines neckties was the gym, which was itself no Nurtured by anacondas in the action taken against these dress were promptly confiscated, only more than a cold dungeon-cave, Amazon, “Wild Bill” is not what code offenders. The punishment to serve as tools of vicious repri- though it still stands today. But one might consider a “normal” of said offenders was a public af- mand. The students were one by one day a tall man named Hark- student. Until the age of nine, he fair, and took place in the center one whipped with their own ac- ness had an idea. For the first time foraged the dense foliage of Brazil of campus. An invitation was cessories, and not a butt was left in human history, to put a table, for nuts and berries to survive. At extended to the students, faculty, without the beet-red imprint of a a primitive type of furniture in nine, he trekked overland to the and entirety of the four four resi- Vineyard Vines Whale. the shape of an oval together, to United States in search of a bet- dents of Exeter, NH. The demon- Many members of the non-Ex- create the mighty Harkness table. ter education; his previous system stration began with a burnt sac- eter community feel that resorting had consisted of hurling feces at After that, things changed. The rifice of over-sized Ecko t-shirts to such drastic punishment was tree stumps and yelling a lot. Af- and Guess jeans. Following a unprecedented. After all, break- Harkness table slayed the mighty ter several years harvesting grapes Courtesy of Yo Mama whale that had harassed our chant and dance around this bon- ing the dress code is supposed to fire of teenage individuality, all The “Harkness Method” has proved to be a panacea for all Continued on Page 3, Column 4 Continued on Page 3, Column 1 those who dared to break Exeterʼs Continued on Page 3, Column 1 evils, except crime, drugs, lust, gluttony, and rainbows. sacred code of dress felt the iron

MATHLETES WILD BILL FREED SUBMIT TO THE CAUGHT DOPING p. 1 EXONIAN HUMOR p.4 SECTION... PLEASE?!

SECTIONS: News: 1, 3 Opinion: 2 Sports: 4 2 THE EXONIAN OPINIONS FEBTOBER 10, 2006

Volume CXXIX

NUMBER Letter to the Editor GREEN can clearly see that there is no conceiv- legitimately stands a chance of going To the editor: able way any of our students deserve to to college is Wild Bill, and thatʼs only Ted Bundy and Dog Woman attend an institute of higher education. because heʼs Native American. Editors-in-Chief I am writing in regards to an article At this point in time, the average SAT ���������������� in last weeks paper entitled: “College for the class of 2007 is 1130, on the Sorry to be such a pessimist, but, Bram Strokenlick Dudley Do-Right Outlook: Better than Usual!” In this ar- new one. The majority of the points for well just sorry, Managing Editor Deputy Managing Editor ticle, it was reported that seven students this score come from the math section. from Exeter were going to stand a good In contrast, the classʼ combined essay Tyler Tingley aka “Debby Downer” chance of going to college. This is score (yes, combined, as in the sum of indeed a bold-faced lie. It is ridiculous every seniors essay score) is a 1. The News Faculty Editors and ill conceived to even consider that only person to record a point was “Wild Pat McGroin The Exonian welcomes all letters to the many students from Exeter are going to Holden Caulfield Jamal P. Harrington III, Esq. Bill.” Somehow, William was able to Editor. We try to print all letters, but be- college. In the whole of the last three Pablo Fancypants throw together a few coherent sentences cause of space limitations, we recommend Peter Pan years we have sent only eight students in pencil, a task that no other student at brevity and conciseness. We reserve the Opinions Borat Sagdiyev Mel Gibson to colleges: three to UPhoenix Online, The Academy was able to accomplish. right to edit all submitted letters to conform Dog the Bounty Hunter two to UCLA (University of Chel- Looking at some other numbers, one Nathan Bedford Forrest Professor Snape with print restraints,proper syntax, and the sea at Logan Airport) two to Subway will find that the classʼ average GPA is Satan Fibonacci Sequence. We will not publish University and one to “The SACC” Arts Naked Fat Man somehow a negative number. I didnʼt any anonymous letters. Please submit let- Richard Simmons Captain James Weatherby (San Antonio Community College). It think that it was even possible for a ters by the Monday of each week to The Oprah Winfrey Mikhael Barishnakov would require a miracle for two Exeter student to get a negative grade on a test, Exonian mailbox in T.J. or to The Exonian Barry Manilow students to attend college this year, let yet astoundingly the students at this newsroom in the basement of Stalin Hall, Humor John Cornwallis Edmund Smith X alone seven. school have proved me wrong. or send an e-mail to [email protected]. JonBenet Ramsey Flying Spaghetti Monster Going through the numbers, one Letʼs face it. The only person who John Mark Karr Jamarcus Washington Arbuckle Roscow Seafood Baby Mathletics Amos Fortune Po Fei Ryes Joan of Arc Will Cannon Virgil Grissom Why Exeter Needs a Force Field Zhang “Zhang” Zhang Ganymede Smegmar Goldfarbsteinman Copy Editor fields prevails. Not only are of the effort by raising funds trying to study without a force Thomas Smithe By COLONEL SANDERS force fields impervious to ex- and spreading the word about field is like a chicken trying plosions weaker than an atomic the impracticality of concrete. to lay an egg in the middle of Last year, several students bomb, they also extend under- The Vulcan Club is planning a minefield,” said Vulcan Club EDITORIAL and parents petitioned the ground for several hundreds of to walk out of classes until the advisor Dr. Spock ʼ71 B.C. This editorial represents the views of the Exeter Board of Trustees to erect a gi- yards. Force fields also allow force field is activated. “I just The world is an increasingly administration. ant concrete wall around Exeter things moving from inside the donʼt feel safe dude, like I dun- dangerous place. Every day new to keep out possible security field to move outside complete- no. What happens if some crazy wars are being waged. Every The End of the World as We Know It? threats and unwanted visitors. ly unscathed. This would pre- dude from the Middle East de- day democracy is destroyed in The plan for the $17 million vent the hassle of having to pas cided to bomb Exeter so that some unfortunate third world Last Tuesday campus was buzzing with news and speculation. wall was approved, and con- through the giant bronze gate as America would have no future? country. If we are truly des- Exonians and people across America held their breath as they struction is scheduled to begin proposed in last yearʼs plan. How would concrete stop that, tined to blossom into the future listened to the news. In just a few short hours, history was put this spring. Not only is this wall Support for the force field man? Just think about it. You leaders of the world, we need to on a different track and the course of humanity was changed the biggest waste of money the has being growing steadily know Iʼm, like, used to force do it in a safe comfortable at- forever. school has ever approved, it is throughout campus. Republican fields; theyʼve always been a mosphere. just plain stupid and unethical. Club has been at the forefront part of my life at home. Students Britney Spears decided to divorce her husband, Kevin This concrete wall will have Federline ʼ98. no purpose but to serve as a symbol of the stupidity of Phil- Many of our older siblings knew Kevin personally. Certainly, lips Exeter Academy. That is most of us know his father, Instructor in Mathematics, Barry why the board needs to throw Federline. Known to friends and fans as “K-Fed,” we would like away the idea of this concrete to recognize the hard times he is going through and give him our wall and replace it with a force utmost sympathy. field. Concrete is simply im- practical, but a class L7 force Tuesdayʼs events brought up several issues that merit closer field will protect the Exeter examination. Firstly, Britneyʼs abuse of Kevin. Britney has been campus in ways that a concrete downright cruel to Kevin: promising him commitment, tying him wall never could. down with two children, and then slashing the ropes and running. Concrete is susceptible to Poor Kevin is left not only broken-hearted, but with the coupleʼs many compromising factors two children, whom Britney now claims not to be the mother of. that are eliminated when em- In a touching scene, Kevin appeared on TV last Tuesday, his eyes ploying a force field. For ex- overflowing with tears, begging Britney “hit me baby one more ample, say a terror cell was time” and give their children a chance to know their mother. He hired to kidnap several students went as far as promising to be “a slave to you” if she would show of important social status to be him sympathy. She crudely responded that their relationship had held for ransom. The terrorists been “toxic” from the beginning- though we would like to note could use a simple C-4 explo- that the couple has always been seen affectionately cuddling and sive placed in a drainage ditch taking romantic walks in public. to infiltrate the campus, similar to the method used by the Uruk- But Britney isnʼt the only one guilty of conspiring against hai when destroying the stone Kevin. There is another culprit, a bigger, more dangerous one. wall at Helmʼs Deep. Then The liberal American media. Were one to turn on the TV last there is also the possibility of Tuesday, one had to look long and hard before they discovered paratroopers, bombing raids Kevinʼs story (though is was extensively covered on WPEA and and giant arachnid attacks. we commend them for that). Instead, pictures of red and blue And Iʼm not even going to start states dominated the screens of CNN and the New York Times talking about aliens. Last time website. This was none other than an attempt to keep Britneyʼs I checked, space ships can fly crime out of public view and put a damper on Kevinʼs tragic over concrete walls. story. It is downright inhumane that media corporations, with Where concrete fails, a force a moral obligation to bring us the news, would conspire to do such a thing. (We would also like to commend Fox News on their “fair and balanced” coverage of the Britney/Kevin tragedy and the support that Rupert Murdoch personally showed to Kevin.)

Tuesday was indeed a day that will live in infamy. Not only because of the abuse K-Feds was forced to endure, but Lack ofror – lax dress Sex code. I find myself OnBoys – objectify Campus us, please! interesting math problem with a because this, once again, demonstrated the problems, biases, unable to don a skirt any shorter Sexually harass us, make crude boy; letʼs call him Jack. Well, Jack and conspiracies that exist within our countryʼs liberal media. than mid-calf or even a shirt with jokes about us, force yourselves and I were sitting with our knees We urge all young and idealistic Exonians to face this problem By LAFAWNDUH JOHNSON short sleeves or a scoop-neck be- into our rooms, grind with us rubbing and our calculators con- head on by boycotting the New York Times and CNN and by As I walked along the path to cause of the effects I know these without asking, please, just act nected when I asked him to come contributing to the Kevin Fund, so that his children can afford to my twelfth class of the day, Being items would have our boys. First, like normal boys! We need it, and back to my room. He smiled and go to school and he can treat his heartʼs open wounds. “Cool” 100, I noticed something: they cringe, and then squirm we need you to. said, “No thanks, Iʼm pretty com- the leaves are changing. In other with disgust, until they are un- Second, boys here simply fortable here. Anyway, this math words, coat season will soon be able to bear it and quickly dismiss donʼt respond to sexual cues. My homework is really interesting here, and we Exonians need no themselves from your presence or friends and I constantly flirt ex- and I wouldnʼt want to leave it for longer worry whether our shirts politely cough and point to our cessively with boys to no avail. a second!” are tucked in or if our ties are exposed skin as if to say “remem- No matter how much you stroke What a dreamboat. I canʼt wrinkled. ber to cover up your ankles next their inner thigh, how hard you stand leaving math homework un- CORREKSHUNS Before we cover up, however, time.” laugh at even their worst jokes, or finished either. As The Exonian attempts to improve upon the content and overall I would like to address an issue It is unjust that Exonian girls compliment their strong biceps, Anyway, I then decided to try design of the paper, the editorial board would like to emphasize its that most girls on campus feel must feel so stifled without even they simply donʼt respond. They to get closer to Jack to see if he continued commitment to accuracy. We hope that this Corrections box strongly about: Exonian boysʼ a dress code prohibiting these often even shrink from my touch, would pick up on my cues. So, I will help us accomplish this goal and aid our readers in gaining a better general sexual incompetence. items of clothing. We need to as if they are either confused or moved onto his lap. Though he understanding of the events, people, and issues we cover. I can tell they long for coat wear revealing clothes! How can simply disgusted with what we looked a bit startled at first, he al- weather, so that they no longer we utilize our “feminine wiles” or want from them. most immediately began smiling Because of a reporting error, a news article in last weekʼs paper stated have to pretend to be interested in shroud ourselves in the “feminine I will use a true story to il- and said, “Great idea! Now I can that Principal Tyler Tingley had withdrawn his anti-fun policy. Principal our bodies. In winter, to their re- mystique” if the boys here wonʼt lustrate boysʼ inability to detect see your calculator screen too!” Tingley remains committed to his long-held stances on happiness and lief, they need not be subjected to let us even be feminine? How even the largest social cues from Even when I began to stroke his laughter. Both are specifically forbidden by the E Book. a piece of skin, carelessly exposed will I ever get an 11 in a class if I girls. The other day I was sitting cheek and gaze hungrily at his Ex- by an increasingly – to their hor- canʼt seduce my teacher? at a Harkness table discussing an eter-red lips, he failed to respond. A commentary article in last weekʼs paper made it seem as though Needless to say, I gave up after I studentsʼ opinions matter. The writer, his immediate family, and his tried to kiss him and he pushed puppy have all been executed. me away because I was blocking the calculator screen. We dun screwed up. Because of these boys like Jack, we girls must grow more sexually repressed by day. I havenʼt kissed a boy for approxi- mately 35,040 hours and 13 – no 14 – seconds. I havenʼt even made Write For Opinions: physical contact with one since I was a little Prep and Rex Pression Disillusion yourself into ran into me at 10:13 a.m. before my English class. Why wonʼt boys here touch thinking that people want to us? Why wonʼt boys here touch me? I donʼt think Iʼll last much longer. I need testosterone. Itʼs hear what you have to say. just been so long and no one here understands. So please, please if youʼre reading this and are lonely or curious or even just the slight- est bit interested, and would may- be want to meet up to hold hands Chaim Potok x3618 for a few hours or exchange pecks on the cheek even, then call 6139. “Wild Bill” x 2243 Iʼll be waiting. THE EXONIAN NEWS FESTIVAL OF APOLLO, 2006 3 Wild Billʼs Release Frightens Masses; Basilisk Sated by Tom Clancy Hired 5 kg, 10 kg, 15 kg Go Into Hiding School Mascot Continued from Page 1, Column 2 this point that one work duty in- straight to the football game and As Director of PEAPS Continued from Page 1, Column 4 volves feeding Bill gruel, rats, and asks to try out. What better way THE BIG BLUE, BEWARE.ʼ And hardtack twice weekly. to loose his pent-up aggression all of those petrified students, I By RON BURGUNDY When PEAPS officer Thomas than on the playing field?” mean, the administration had just and selling oranges under the free- Clancy discovered the inhumane It is known that Wild Bill will way as an illegal migrant worker casually swept the corpses under After a series of embarass- ened by an army of sea otters, living conditions faced by Wild not be released from his cage until the rug, literally.” in southern California, Bill saved Bill, he issued a public service he has arrived safely in Andover. ing campus intrusions, the Ex- Clancy will be able to handle up enough money to afford the In response to the murder, lo- eter administration has decided the situation. During simula- announcement stating that he will Officer Clancy affirmed that Billʼs cal professional detective and res- Exeter admissions application fee. release Bill from his cage this discharge coincides with Exeter/ to fire the former head of Pub- tions in the Academyʼs holo- Needless to say, his credentials ident wizard, Gilderoy Lockhart, weekend. If Bill exhibits good be- Andover weekend intentionally. has been called onto the scene lic Safety and replace him with deck, Clancy successfully were more than enough to warrant havior, PEAPS may consider giv- “Weʼre going to get those famous military novelist Tom defended the school form the admission. to investigate further. Lockhartʼs ing him permanent liberation. Andover bastards this year,” said Clancy. Most students are eager North Korean army with only a Wild Bill first arrived on Ex- main lead is the infamous He- No one is sure how Wild Bill Clancy. who-must-not-be-named, under for change after the several ex rusty spoon and 40 million il- eter grounds in the fall of 1992. will react to his newfound free- As a prep, Bill was rambunctious, the fake name of Tom Riddle. convicts had been spotted eat- legal immigrants. Well done sir, dom. Sandy Beavertrap ʼ09 spec- Lockhart has reported that Riddle ing in the dining hall. Although Well done. disruptive and borderline insane. ulated, “My bet is that he heads In one of his more memorable can control the basilisk with his in- some of us could not falling in Clancy will also make sev- outbursts, Bill, prompted by his sane magical powers and evilness love with that one crook affec- eral changes to the Red Book. math teacher to write a problem in general. It has later been found tionately nicknamed “Fingerz”, In addition to the martial law on the board, swallowed his TI that after attending the Hogwarts the majority concencus hopes that will be instated, Clancy 93 Voyager + Silver Edition, slip School of Witchcraft and Wiz- Mr. Clancy will prevent such will also aim to change the cover and all. Although Bill was ardry, the present Dark Lord had incidents from happening again. dress code to army fatigues. So constantly in trouble, he became enrolled in a post-graduate year at Clancy has already construct a far only one faculty member has very popular amongst his class- Phillips Exeter. He was captain of plan known as “Operation Beta voiced any opposition to this mates for his loveable antics and the varsity mathleticsʼ team and Zulu Gamma Fat Duck,” which plan. His wife and children still guttural ululations. star of Exeterʼs ballet program. will increase the efficiency miss him to this very day. Another one of Lockhartʼs On October 15, 1996, in Wild of the security on campus by A new policy will also be Billʼs first senior year, catastrophe suspects is the student community of Exeterʼs rival school, Phillips 300%. In an excerpt from the created concerning Wild Bill, struck. Confused by advertise- plan, Clancy lays out the nec- everyoneʼs new favorite person ments for “International Dinner” Academy Andover. “I wouldnʼt essary steps that are needed to on campus. Clancy will allow in the dining hall, Bill ate seven put it past them. Andover has been international students before known to make fun of our studentsʼ achieve this goal. Bill to be released on Andover PEAPS officer Rodney Farva rainbow suspenders and matching “The first step in increas- Exeter days, as long as every subdued him with a horse tran- bowties,” Head of School Tingley ing efficiency is increasing abil- Andover student agrees to wear quilizer. Farva proceeded to lock said. “Theyʼve even ridiculed my ity. Hence, all PEAPS officers clothed soaked in barbeque Bill in a cage in the Academy Li- TI-83+ millennium edition, with 4 will need equip themselves with sauce. brary stacks, where he has made more Gigs of RAM.” automatic M-4 rifles. After cur- The Exeter campus is ex- his home the last ten years. Billʼs This is the best picture that our photographer took before he The Phillips Andover com- few is instated, all officers have tremely enthusiastic about Mr. presence is so commonplace at passed out from the stench. munity made this statement in re- orders to shoot to kill. The only Clancyʼs presence at The Acad- sponse: “Harry Potter is not real.” exception are squirrels, because emy. Students will be able to Upon hearing this, Tingley began everyone likes squirrels. Should walk around campus again to cry and immediately called an the target not be eliminated af- without having to worry about Dress Code Rebels Beaten Senseless emergency all-school meeting to ter an initial barrage, continue safety. Well Iʼve used up my al- inform the student body of the to use the plasma grenades lo- lotted amount of free speech for first bar mitzvah. A boy of 13 will pils come across as? Andover horrible news. Continued from Page 1, Column 5 surely need instruction in getting students, thatʼs who! I mean re- cated in the glove compartment the day, and frankly I donʼt want dressed for the gathering. And ally, who allows their students to of your amphibious assault ve- to spend another three days in be a minor infraction, and likely when it comes time for him tie wear pajamas to class? How are hicles,” he wrote. the pit of scorpions. I hope ev- is not worthy of a public display his necktie, he will certainly ap- they supposed to learn properly Clancyʼs experience will eryone can give Mr. Clancy the of violent discipline. They see proach their father. What will he without a tie around their neck? prove him invaluable to the warm welcome he has given us. the actions of the students as an think of his dad when he spends And I bet that their females wear school when faced with a threat. attempt to “wear what the kids the afternoon crying in the clos- low-cut shirts, and those “booty Should the campus be invaded are wearing these days.” And et? It is this kind of trauma that shorts”... their students must be Use of Harkness by an enemy horde, or threat- so, if students happen to choose a should make the school rethink sex-craved maniacs!” This is a saggy pair of jeans over a respect- their actions, and to reevaluate strong statement from our wise Ameliorates able pair of chinos, we should their methods in responding to principal. embrace it as an attempt towards future offenses. The Exeter ad- I suppose that most students individuality. It can be expected ministration and faculty, on the never thought that their ties and Middle East Issues from teenagers, they say, and to other hand, feels differently. khakis held so much stead in the Continued from Page 1, Column 1 give them a spanking flies in the When I sat down with PEAʼs heart and soul of Exeter. These face of their desire for indepen- principal he had the following to regulations, however, are what community and strung its rotting dence. say: “Here at Exeter, we have a separate us from the barbaric prep corpse up on a frame that would This is not to mention the se- certain image of prestige to up- school students to our south. Cer- rious emotional and psychologi- hold in all aspects of the daily tainly the offenders in this recent become our science building. cal damage that students are sure life of our students. This includes outburst of nonconformity did not With its own...legs...the Harkness to face in their adult lives. One behavior, attitude and dress. realize that they were blurring the built Exeter a shinny new student woman described a scenario in And so, if we were to allow our line between red and blue. Thatʼs center, which has since lured pro- which one of the offendersʼ sons students to pick their outfits all right; they were turning our fair spective students to our school. will be preparing to attend their willy-nilly, whom would our pu- campus...purple! And purple, my However, most of all, the Hark- ness table facilitated communica- tion between Exeter students, and ended years of math related vio- lence. This is how I intend to help Harkness Table Kills! Students Beware! you,” he concluded. so that nobody was seated next ing the memorial. Some faculty Once the group got to the Continued from Page1, Column 1 to anyone of the same race or and students have complained headquarters, Tingley was taken ethnicity. Next, we were simply that, “the memorial reminds me to see the Prime Minster. But the PEAPS carried to studentsʼ bodies enjoying class. I reminded them a lot of the memorial planned for prime minster did not understand out from the English building and of my Yale degree, and we read those dancers who were killed how some prep school Principal threw them onto the roof-rack of from the poetry book I wrote in in the 1970s...that memorial that was going to save his country, and E. Thomas/The Exonian their Honda CR-V, carting them Somalia.” was never built.” so once again Tingley explained An Exeter student bows to Officer Tom Clancy, who doesnʼt off to the Exeter morgue. A hor- A memorial is planned for Until the dedication, the Ex- the story of the Harkness. Even take “No” for an answer. rified crowd of students watched sometime next week to remember eter community has nothing to upon hearing the story, though, in tears. those lost in the Harkness acci- do but mourn their painful loss. the Prime Minister was still un- Today two more members of dent. The art department has al- When asked if the Harkness style convinced. “What difference does the Exeter family remain hos- ready revealed a design for a me- of teaching would continue at Ex- it make wether or not the table is pitalized, including the classʼ morial, to be placed outside of the eter, Principal Tyler Tingley re- an oval or a circle or a rectangle,” professor, Dr. Patrick Finnegan. English building. The memorial sponded, “What else do we have he questioned, “as long as we can Finnegan was reached last eve- will feature three students, danc- to offer in our admissions pam- speak to each other? In fact, why Write for News ning for a phone interview. ing atop a golden Harkness table. phlets, videos and mailings?” do we need a table at all? Wouldnʼt “There was a photographer The words “They danced until He continued, “Has anyone seen desks work equally well?” visiting our class that day, so I they could dance no more” will my wife?” She left him six years Tingley was shocked by the had just arranged the students be engraved on a plaque explain- ago. Prime Ministerʼs response, and Even Though knew immediately that he would need another Harkness table to explain the power of the oval. At once his crew got to work building Nothing another Harkness table, while the Prime Minister waited. When they were finally finished, the Prime Ever Happens Minster was stunned. A large oval table stood in his chambers, and he could sense its power. “How do I use it?” he asked. And Tin- gley responded “Sit down friend, Boredom x 6293 and let the Harkness show you its ExonianSports

Volume CXXIX, Number Green Phillips Exeter Academy, Exeter, New Hampshire Ides of March, 2006 NOTABLE NOTES FROM... THE GRIFFIN OCTATHALON

By DOUG FUNNIE

The annual fall Griffin Octathalon continued again this year. Though the results have yet to be tabulated, it looks as though new- comer and linear algebra PG Zhongrui “Jimmy” Wang ʼ07 may have taken this yearʼs prize, a Ti-89+ Platinum Edition.

Magic the Gathering Competition:

Maximilian van Dorenʼs ʼ08ʼs, mana pool was stocked full of plains. He was prepared to strike with the centerpiece of his arsenal, but he was in for a surprise. As he laid down his Golden Zombie of Smite, Merlin level three, he cut his pinky on the edge of the card. He was promptly rushed on a stretcher to the Band-Aid tent. Fortunately he was fine. He took a three-day medical leave of absence from the competition but returned with a vengeance and a mean scar for the ladies.

Tech Deck:

With his trademark goofy benihana kickflip 360, student body President “Tex” Dameron ʼ07 took the competition by a slide. Re- ceiving a 9.99, repeating of course, as an overall score. He pro- R. Bodangle/The Exonian claimed the half-pipe his domain, screaming “Woot! Woot!” Math PG Neil Diamond ʼ07 takes a break after some intense “studying.” Cheaters never win. 4-Square:

Though the returning star, Miriam “Ginger” McCormick, had Mathletes Caught Doping; beefed up over the summer (she currently weighs in at an impres- sive 230) clearly had more power than the rest of the field. Jamaal Brain Steroids Cause Controversy “Notso” White proved that technique is the true deciding factor. His segments: complex analysis, Streisand announced her 1999 determinable.” This satisfied the incredible wrist control dominated the corners. four-dimensional calculus, and world tour.” Sadly, that tour sold campus feminists and led them to By STROM THURMOND Chess: digits of pi. no tickets. back down and lower their arms. Several of Exeterʼs star math- Said Coach Zheng Xiangji At a Science Club meeting a Exeter administration has Unfortuantely, despite protests, the chess competition was dis- letes may face disqualification of the doping allegations, “I am few weeks ago, members were warned the students that if they banded because of last yearʼs rook to the opponentʼs rectum move. from the league and public flog- exactly 87% sure that members asked to engineer drugs that test positive for brain doping, ging due to the alarmingly high of my team would not abuse il- would increase brain power by at appropriate disciplinary action Dodgeball: number of anonymous doping al- legal substances that are frowned least 10%. After the end of their will be taken against them. The legations made across the league upon amongst the math com- six-hour meeting, the students administrationʼs greatest worry With loads of support from fans, the dodgeball competition did not against them. After careful in- munity. I will be examining our had developed a drug and con- at this point is that all Exeter stu- work out. Most likely because everyone was a last pick. vestigation, it is probable that the current workout plan and looking ducted field testing of the drug on dents will begin “smart doping” Math Club was obtaining arith- for areas that cause students ex- this yearʼs math postgraduates. so they feel at least somewhat as Blockdude: metic-performance-enhancing cruciating hardship. Never in my The Math Club at Exeter is an competent as Phillips Academy Strapped with the newest in Texas Instrumentʼs line, the athletes drugs from another hugely popu- career as Exeterʼs math coach did extremely prestigious and smart Andover students. This fear has prepared for head to head Blockdude thanks to the glorious gold- lar campus club, Science Club. I sponsor substance abuse.” group of young boys. (Bylaw I, brought widespread panic across With the Math Cup only a Section I: Girls are proven to be the Exeter faculty. coated connector cable. John Preis ʼ02 fell behind on level six, but Members of the Math team promptly came back with a SICK performance on levels eight, nine, slapped with accusations were week away, the allegations are unnecessary at Math Club due If such a widespread doping devastating to the Math Team. to the distraction they cause and sweeps campus, the deans will and ten. He beat the game in school-record fashion, six hours and unavailable for comment on the twelve minutes. controversy. The team will be forced to bring their complete mental incapacity. be required to expel every guilty If the five members are dis- a number of mediocre students Hence, females should not be part student. Such a disaster would Gluten-Free Organic Soy Milk Pong: qualified, it will be a huge hit to off the bench. of Math Club.) Their sexist by- tarnish Exeterʼs reputation per- Exeterʼs star lineup, which is bol- One of these students released laws have caused some problems manently. Even though the committee thought this competition might finally stered this year by five talented the following statement through in the Exeter community, espe- What becomes of the allega- be well received by the school, after last yearʼs Juicy Juice Pong PGs. The team has a strong lega- his frequently updated blog: “I cially with the militant Female tions and the truth behind them scandal, the student body protested, saying that this was inappropri- cy to maintain and will be forced am deeply saddened to hear my Supremacy Club. will be better known after the re- ate. They all quickly ran to their rooms in single-file lines, quoting the to work even harder this season to teammates decided to abuse To prevent a campus civil view of the Anti-Doping Force in E-bookʼs “being in the presence of” line. compensate for the missing stars. drugs, but I will not let this af- war, Model U.N. club stepped the Prep School Math League. Prospects for this year were very fect my performance in the Math in to mediate the rising conflict. Time will only tell what will Quidditch: high. The team had taken first at Cup. I could not imagine any bet- They resolved that Math Club become of Exeter and its legend- the nationally televised Golden ter news than hearing I will not should amend their bylaws. In re- ary math squad, but as of now the After repeated unsuccessful attempts to go airborne, the students ended up running through town with brooms in between their legs Calculator high-school series be forced into the dodgy ʻalter- sponse, Math Club added Bylaw future looks grim. looking for the golden snitch. They were beaten up by Exeter High and at the IronMath trialthon, an nateʼ position. I have not heard I, Section II: “Girls may join the More on this story as it be- such great news since Barbara club so long as their gender is un- comes available. students. (Only the twelfth time this week! Hey, whatever, theyʼre event equally divided into three poor.) Football Trounces Town Nine & Unders Boys Soccer Gets Makeover

By DANTE ALIGHIERI By LYNN FARTSWORTH

This past Saturday, the However, our sources tell us, longed to Exeter. The Nine and In one of the most brilliant Exeter Varsity Football team that because Kapoorson cannot Unders were massacred. Nose schemes in the history of Exeter showed the world how football read, he was confused by the bleeds, cries for mommies and athletic teams, the boysʼ soccer is really played. Facing cross- numbers on the field. He ran the wedgies ensued, and after ten team plans to defeat their Ando- town rivals, the “Nine and Un- ball up and down the field, not minutes, Exeter football was ver opponents with striking in- ders” team, the Exeter boys were knowing where to score. Such up 28-12. By the fourth quarter, seams. ready for a challenge. The strong tremendous endurance deserves there were hardly enough Nine As a response to the distaste- lead taken in the first quarter by recognition. Exeter scored, and and Unders to make a full string. ful, and so obviously untrue, cheer the Nine and Unders was only took the extra point for a 7-6 Exeter was exhausted. They had that that place-down-in-Massa- chusettsʼ team is hotter, Captain stopped when Exeterʼs starting lead. fought hard, and needed to get Elmer Fudge ʼ07 has put together tackle Frederick McPhilSteven- Exeter decided, against their through the final quarter. a team of players no more bril- son-OʼBrian was able to make better judgment, to keep Ka- The first five minutes were liant than Harry Potter. his first sack of his career. Mc- poorson on the field. He started scoreless, until one Nine and “Saying nothing of my boy- PhilStevenson-OʼBrianʼs victim the quarter confused, because Under, Henry Grafters ʼ15, ish good looks, I believe this team would have survived the blow, he didnʼt realize the end zones made an amazing catch for a has the potential to move up in the but as our sources told us, he had changed. Standing in the TD. With a missed kick, Exeter history books. Thatʼs why I cam- was “seven years old”. Fortu- middle of his own end zone, be- was only up 28 - 18. The Big paigned for these new warm-ups, nately, Exeter does not respond ing yelled at by his coaches, Ka- Red prevailed, however, after because weʼll look good for all excuses well. After McPhilSte- poorson was slowly taken down Kapoorson got a second wind. the Exonian close-ups,” claimed venson-OʼBrian was kicked out by eleven desperate Nine and He ran for 3 touchdowns in the Fudge. of the game, Exeter gained pos- Unders for a safety. final minutes of the game. Ex- The new attire looks some- session of the ball and ran for Halftime gave the team a eter won 49 - 18. The coaches thing like kilts crossed with quilts. Although longer than the S. Baby/The Exonian 534 yards in the next two downs. chance to regroup. After go- say Kapoorson did it because of Boys soccer plans to beat Andover this weekend. It took six small children to fi- ing over a new strategy for the his training, the media say dur- skirts worn by Paris Hilton ʼ00 at first glance, up close there is no nally take down Exeterʼs top game, the teams resumed their ing halftime he studied which beauty at every baboon afternoon, knows what the coaches have running back, Thair Kapoorson. positions. The third quarter be- end of the field to score on, and chance. “Theyʼre surprisingly warm,” and in addition to new clothing, all called for. others say that he must have explains newcomer “Smurf” boys were treated by Pete Smith Nobody knows what to expect “taken some steroids or some- Wrigley ʼ10. “When we walk onto ʼ11 to a day at Patty-Anne-Mayʼs from the team. I think we need thing, because no one can throw the field, our opponents donʼt beauty saloon. [Editorʼs note: we some Neapolitan ice cream. a nine year old through a field know what to do. I believe one of are at this time required and be- On a final note, “WHAT- goal from the 40 yard line.” the Penguins wet his pants, and ing paid off by the Smith family EVER THE HECK YOU WANT Whatever the reason for Ex- he thought he looked so tough be- to end all rumors that their little HIM TO SAY WITHIN REA- eterʼs enormous win, the team cause he had a tattoo. I have one Pete-y Wete-y bought his way SON” concludes Fudge. “Shhh! needs to look ahead to the end too, want to see it?” onto the team] Be very quiet! Iʼm hunting wab- of the season. Final prepara- Not much more than a moder- We have from an inside bits!” tions need to be made for their ate season so far, and up against source that each player now game against Phillips Andover, the potentially unbeatable Big sports a French twirly mustache Boys Soccer Lineup: and the team believes that they Blue, Big Red looks to Wrigley to and has shaved their numbers on heads, but no one has seen any Goal: Mini-Me Magoo ʼ10 will be ready to put up a fight. lead the team. Their crossover JV Mathlete of the boys since they retreated On defense: Captain Fudge, As Kapoorson told us in his in- to The Sheds. For the past week, Whipper Creamer ʼ07, and Beluga terview, “Heck, I done gone and coach is excited about his cap- tainʼs stroke of genius. they have partaken in the annual Cherry ʼ08 studied the field. Did you know ritual of knotting threads. It is In the midfield: Pikachu Cheng itʼs 100 yards long? I counted When their equipment man- ager, who rides a really cool red said to focus all energy and keep ʼ07, Quentin Watson ʼ09, Rhyminʼ ʻem. Betcha Andover kids donʼt tricycle, accidentally put the it within the jail compound, rather Dog Dog ʼ08, and Wrigley even know how long they field warm-ups out to be recycled, they the campus. Up top: Prince Scooby of is. Dang. We in a good place, were saved by bench boy Jay-Jay Through the slot under the Playboy ʼ07 and Peace Birchwood man.” John-Paul Smith Michael ʼ08. Di- door, the secret line-up for tomor- ʼ09 D. Cuthell/The Exonian saster averted. rowʼs competition was bought on Somewhere on the field: Pete the black market floor. No one Smith ʼ11 “Roar” says Exeter football PG Fifi Fluffybutt ʼ07. With the clear advantage in THE PHILLIPIAN COMMENTARY NOVEMBER 10, 2006 A7 Take a Break A Defeat for Veterans Everyone at PA tion of success tell At ASM on Wednesday, Prateek Ku- Adam Giansiracusa and asked far more meaningful and relevant knows one of those Oliver Bloom us, enjoying life is mar ʼ07 stood up to introduce two speak- questions. Why do so few Andover students who is a far more important ers in honor of Veterans Day, the time of Oliver Bloom students go on to serve in the military? SLACKER member of 25 differ- than any grade, any year when we honor all those who served Why has a disconnect formed between ent clubs, does 500 club, or any college. in the Armed Forces. Kumar discussed PARTISAN LINES the supposed “educated elite” of Ando- the importance of this holiday as a com- ver and the military? And why do people hours of community service a week, Students at Andover often speak as Germany at the close of WWII, Ameri- memoration of Americaʼs servicemen so often blame the soldiers rather than has 10 senior board positions, and brags if they already have their lives figured can use of napalm and Agent Orange, and women that should remain devoid of the policies and those who make them? about how few hours of sleep they get. out. They already know exactly what the numerous accounts of rape, or more partisanship. We should have been challenged to end This kid never has free time, never re- classes, sports, and clubs they want to recently, the horrors of Abu Ghraib, Unfortunately, the first speaker, Cap- this cycle and rebuild the once great ties laxes, watches a movie, plays video do. They know where they want to go to Guantanamo Bay, and the slaughter of tain John Doherty (Ret.) ʼ59, politicized between the Andover and the Armed games, or reads a book. They never take college, where they want to work, how innocent Iraqis by a few soldiers. The the day, failed to assist his own cause and Forces. Veterans Day is not only a day to a break. And yet this is the same kid conduct of soldiers abroad is not squeaky unabashedly assailed the left wing of the recognize and appreciate the tremendous who always talks about how he needs clean, and in an unnecessary war, they political spectrum in this nation. service our soldiers have done for us, but to do even more and how everything he mar the public image of soldiers. The first speech was laden with bla- also to remember why we are so proud does is just another step towards getting At the same time, we cannot damn “Life is not supposed to tant attacks on liberals and others who and appreciative of them. Let us not only into College #1. Unless he becomes Se- an entire group of people, whether they agree with their stance on various issues. remember the service of our soldiers, but nior Chairman and Executive Officer of are leftists of the 1960ʼs or soldiers, sim- be all figured out and Of particular ire was Dohertyʼs verbal also continue the military tradition of Finances of Sums Less Than or Equal to ply because of the appalling actions of a tirade against John Kerry (D-MA) as an making our servicemen some of the fin- $15 of the Avifauna and Small-beaked few. No group can be judged by its most allegedly terrible soldier with equally est and most honorable in the world. Yellow Woodpecker of Eastern West all planned at age 16.” radical and fringe elements. Surely Mr. bad grades. Not only were Mr. Dohertyʼs Thankfully, the first steps in this di- Swahili Society, his life is doomed to Doherty would not want us to judge the attacks insensitive and distasteful, for rection were taken by the second speak- fail. Despite this kidʼs “amazing feats,” United States military by the actions of he was attacking a fellow serviceman, er, Brig. Gen. John Carlson (Ret.), who, those soldiers at Abu Ghraib. he is not the kind of student we want to but they were also completely partisan. in very eloquent terms, highlighted the It seems odd to use a reference from be. much money they want to make, where There has been debate from both sides heroism of our armed forces in the re- Ann Coulter here, but it is also appropri- Far more impressive is the student they want to retire and where they want of the political aisle as to the validity of treat during the Battle of the Chosin Ba- ate. In her book “Godless: The Church who has his few clubs that he likes, to be buried. And nothing will stop John Kerryʼs war record, but a Veterans sin. These are the types of heroes who of Liberalism,” she attacked the “Jersey his certain sport, his “little group of them from getting there. Granted, some Day speech at Andover is neither the should be remembered on this day, and Girls,” a group of women widowed on things.” This student has spare time, students have their passions and nothing time nor the place to raise this as an is- it was in this spirit that we should have 9/11, for supposedly using their status enjoys simply hanging around with will ever change this, but for most kids, sue. What John Kerry did or did not do left. to further a partisan agenda. The same friends, sleeps more than five hours a high school is still a period of explora- thirty years ago has nothing to do with The goal of bringing speakers to applies here: the military uniform can- night, and occasionally spends time do- tion. There is a reason why we donʼt the thousands of other military person- campus to highlight the sacrifice men in not be reason to silence criticism and ing nothing at all. He does not care if take only math courses or only history nel who served this country. For every the armed services of this nation have denounce without fear of reprisal. If a he has some meaningless board title as- courses. Even after we have found our controversy surrounding a soldierʼs war made is an admirable goal. It would just soldier commits a crime, he should be sociated with a club. His mind is not particular interests, it should not pre- record, there are one hundred other sol- be better if the speakers had consistently held to the same standards, if not higher already made up about what he wants clude us from still looking at entirely diers who served without question and maintained Kumarʼs stated intention of ones, than any other citizen. The mili- to be, nor where he wants to go to col- new areas. Life is not supposed to be all who deserve our respect. honoring the troops. Such blatant attacks tary uniform represents the principles lege. He chooses what he wants to do figured out and all planned at age 16. The discussion by Mr. Doherty about serve no goal and politicize the time we of the United States of America and we not because it would impress a college Most importantly, high school and the negative attitudes towards troops was should spend honoring our heroes. Every should hold this uniform and the people but because he honestly enjoys doing it. our time at Andover is not simply a a valid point, yet he would do better to other day is filled with partisan attacks who wear it to the same high standards Some might call him a dilettante, but he stepping-stone for college. As much discuss part of the reason why such ten- and mudslinging, but for this one day, to which we hold our country and our enjoys the things he does, and more im- emphasis as students, teachers, advi- sion exists. Being upset at the insults and let us leave all politics and feuds at the values. portantly, he enjoys his free time. His sors, college counselors and society put disrespect of leftist radicals is under- door and remember and thank all of our Mr. Doherty, instead of spending so life is not part of some grander picture on preparing our applications, applying standable, but we can also never forget servicemen and women for their tremen- much time attacking a few radicals and a that revolves around College #1, Job #1, to and attending only the best and most the atrocities of My Lai, the indiscrimi- dous duty to this country. United States Senator, could have rather or Perfect Life #1. elite colleges, there are far more impor- nate firebombing of civilians in Dresden, Free time is something to be trea- tant things to spend our time worrying sured. We should enjoy the time we and stressing over. have at Andover. It is far too easy to College certainly is important, but get wrapped up in all the classes, sports, it is not our only goal. Why spend all clubs and opportunities that Andover of your time preparing for the future offers, and forget that we are only teen- and never enjoy the present? Andover agers. We are constantly encouraged is a unique and great place, and there to try new things and pile even more is absolutely no reason why we should onto our plate, without remembering not simply enjoy Andover as such a our limits. The school offers so much place. People are often in such a hurry that we always take on more than we to get into college and to move onward can handle. And consequently, we lose that they realize too late that they have more and more of our free time. Just wasted away some of the best years of as classes and sports are important, free their life on a new place that did not turn time is as well. No one can be busy out to be that great. from 7 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day of the It is a common cliché of Andover to reiterate the need to calm down and enjoy free time, but it is one nonethe- less worth repeating. Instead of buying “Our time at Andover is into the vicious cycle of competition, stress, sleepless nights, packed days, bad grades, and little fun, we should not simply a stepping- all step back and remember a simple truth: we are a bunch of teenagers in stone for college.” high school. Life is not supposed to be this stressful, we are not supposed to al- ready know exactly what we want to do, week without crashing sometime. Like and everything we do is not supposed a reckless teenager with a credit card, to be a piece of some grand puzzle it is too easy for us to spend away our about college and success. To quote a time until we are suddenly left with no bumper sticker, “life is a journey, not a time, mountains of homework, and far race.” So next time someone tells you too many commitments. And how do that “the kids who go to the best col- we pay off this debt? We stay up far leges” do more than 10 clubs, only get too late, cut back on sleep, cut back on perfect grades, only play varsity sports, time with friends and sacrifice impor- never relax and never sleep, remember tant and necessary things. And despite that these kids also never have fun and what some people and what the defini- never enjoy life. Breeding Laziness Take Hold of Your Future Steve Blackman quantified on a standardized test or tran- that admission committees try to get a less. Donʼt brag about how many hours script. sense of applicants beyond their grades Alex McHale youʼre going to play “Smash” during GROWN UP Finally, in the same vein as SAT prep and SAT scores, the current process is Deanʼs Week, because everyone knows classes and private college admissions not infallible. FREE CUT In my English class last week, a stu- coaches, this idea widens the gap be- Itʼs nearly impossible to get to know a you have work. Chances are you spent dent raised a shocking proposal: a central The smartest kid in math class isnʼt just as much time hitting your chemis- tween the “haves” and “have-nots” even student based on just one essay, and with part of all Senior English electives should further. so much riding on it, something needs to the person who studies for five hours try books as you did hitting Kirby. be writing college admissions essays. the night before the test and gets the Second, while no one likes the There is a practical consideration here be done. This hand-holding mentality goes as well: if colleges find out that Andover Unfortunately, a complete overhaul of highest grade in the class with 100% smelly kid at the end of the hall who against the foundations of our school. correct. The smartest kid in math class coaches its seniors to write their essays in the way we apply to college probably isnʼt only comes out of his room for Golden Andover prides itself on following the class, that fact automatically devalues the in the cards. Nevertheless, we should start is the person who rolls out of bed five Chopsticks and math class, the guy who “independent learner” model of educa- minutes before math class, arrives late effort we put into our classes and applica- in the only place we can: with ourselves. brags about having fifteen minutes of tion, which is why we have less class time tions. Furthermore, what does that say Instead of asking Andover for more help coming off five hours of sleep and abso- homework is just annoying. The image but more homework than most of our about the supposed value of an Andover getting in, letʼs focus on becoming con- lutely no preparation, and gets 98% cor- of watching any movie youʼd like and peer schools. We are expected to be self- education? sciences and well-rounded young adults, rect. Right? Person #2 is simply much going to bed at your leisure is perhaps motivated, to learn because we want to, Lets face it; the college admission the kind of students that are actually im- more intellectually efficient. He would the greatest anti-motivator for those of not because we have to. This is the reason process is a mess. While itʼs a good thing pressive, not just on paper. have only needed half an hour to match us that actually do our work. Go away, many students decided to leave famil- iar surroundings and go off to boarding his workaholic buddyʼs test grade. or get ahead or something. Know that This laid-back attitude can be help- school in the first place. the more you glorify your screwing Most of us consult someone for help ful in some cases, but at Andover it is around, the harder we laugh when you too often taken to the extreme. Some of on our essays for proofreading, fact- bomb your finals. checking, or just for reassurance that it So, how is this problem fixed? Easy: sounds okay. College counselors, teach- teachers provide grade incentives for ers, friends, and parents all fill this role, “..teachers [should] hard work, which they should be doing and thatʼs fine. But distracting from the anyway. That doesnʼt mean piles of ex- core curriculum for this purpose is not. tra-credit opportunities. It means grade Senior English electives are the domain WRITE provide grade incentives bonuses for re-writes on English pa- of the department – each teacher has pers, group work on extremely complex something they are passionate about, and for hard work...” math problems (a la Mr. Farrellʼs major students in these classes have the unique assignments), more history research pa- opportunity to learn something new that pers than tests, weighted lab reports in they would otherwise not be exposed to. science, etc. Itʼs hard to think that our Letting the college process take over yet our more insecure peers have used this unmotivated buddy from paragraph #1 another aspect of our lives would be an FOR attitude to justify slacking. It figures: is so smart when he gets 3ʼs in his His- affront to our institutional values and our dedicated and enthusiastic faculty. If I donʼt study, Iʼll fail, but at least I tory class because he didnʼt feel like do- wonʼt waste my time, and I wonʼt come Although PA is a prep, or college ing any research. preparatory school, the curriculum is de- across as nerdy to my friends. If I study, Of course, this attitude is funda- I might fail, and Iʼll risk coming across signed to give students an education that mental to the persona of Andover, and will help them succeed in college and in as a nerd. A school culture that provides should not be completely altered. life, rather than groom them to look good such easy rationalization for slacking COMMEN- One of the key defining features of on paper. Andover does not “teach to the off must be fixed. our school versus certain others is the test.” Although many classes are at the First of all, attempting to appear per- fact that we know how to have a good Advanced Placement level, the Course fectly serene all the time is downright time and will not kill ourselves over of Study states that, while these courses silly at a place like Andover. Everyone grades. To motivate students and truly cover the material on the AP exam, they needs to work (except seniors during force them to use their time efficiently are not AP classes per se. The goals and the springtime), so attempting to hide we must stop excessively glorifying the successes of the Andover classroom are TARY! this with a façade of relaxation is point- bright slacker. much more abstract than what can be A8 THE PHLLIPIAN ENTERTAINMENT NOVEMBER 10, 2006 From Spices to Saris Andover’s International Weekend International Festival Flavors and talents from around the lated lyrics “Hereʼs to women, hereʼs to all world came together last Saturday night the lovely women, they who have no cru- during International Clubʼs Food Festival elty.” At the bridge, they added their own and Talent Show. The diverse club mem- spin on this Italian folk song by adding a bers represented their countriesʼ cultures Jewish twist. by cooking ethnic dishes and performing Also, Stephanie Yu ʼ09 showed off her entertaining acts. expertise on the “gu zheng,” the Chinese The delicious student-cooked foods, harp. She played a traditional Chinese ranging from Japanese to French cuisine, dance piece written by the Yao clan. The not only excited taste buds but also pro- songʼs fast paced plucking of the strings vided the Andover community with a tasty sounded like a rushing river. insight into various cultures. To contrast the ancient music, James Who can deny a big pizza pie? No Tsay ʼ09 from Taiwan performed illusion- ne could refuse the Italian Clubʼs home- ary tricks with his Chinese Yo-Yo. made pizza, pasta, meatballs, Bolognese, Peter Yao ʼ07 said, “Heʼs magic! Itʼs calzones, as well as mouthwatering cano- like watching a Chinese David Blaine!” lis. The clubʼs president, Alex Green ʼ07, Afterwards, Lucy Maguire ʼ08, of Eng- donned his “Italia” shirt with enthusiasm lish descent, and Paul Joo ʼ08, of Korean and patriotism. descent, blended their heritages and shared This year, Chinese offerings stepped the stage. Joo played violin, accompanied away from typical, greasy Americanized by Maguire on piano. take-out dishes. Carolyn Han ʼ09 described Together, they played a Korean folk her Maltose Bananas and Crackers, stuffed song dating back to the early Joseon (Yi) B. Canaday/The Phillipian cucumbers, and fish-flavored eggplant Dynasty (1392-1910). Today, the song is Wearing the newest Italian fashions, students walk down the Kemper aisle at Saturday nightʼs International Festival as “really traditional dishes. I donʼt think recognized as an international symbol of Fashion Show that capped off the evening. anyoneʼs ever seen them before.” the Korean people. Nana Matsushita ʼ09, a member of An- A great highlight, the entire Indo-Pak down the runway wearing traditional and dover Japanese Club (AJC), said, “Getting club danced an Indian Bhangra Dance. modern outfits from different countries. ready for the festival took forever; there Their number was a treat for the eyes and At the same time, students learned bits of was so much cooking. First we had to cook the ears. Their vibrant and flowy garb trivia about each country. all the noodles, then all the vegetables - fi- combined with the catchy harmonies and Did you know that Bangkok,Thailandʼs nally we had to cook them all together.” thumping beats of the music hooked the capitol, is actually an abbreviation for the After a long day of preparation, AJCʼs audience. longest name in the world? Petch Jirapinyo Diwali-Eid Festival work paid off. Their noodle and vegetable Toning down the evening, Chris Li ʼ07 ʼ07, from Thailand, shared Bangkokʼs full dishes, with distinctive seaweed season- and Olivia Pei ʼ07 sang a French and Japa- name, taking nearly 20 seconds to recite ing, were huge successes and completely nese version of the jazz classic “Autumn it. Veda Eswarappa sold out. Leaves.” Max Meyer ʼ08 accompanied the At the close of the festival, Stephanie Katie Zimmerman ʼ08 and Jonas Aller- two singers with impressive, jazzy piano Teo ʼ08 said,“Organizing everything was beck ʼ07, representing Germany, cooked chords. hard. But in the end, learning about differ- Traditional dancing, home-cooked food, three different varieties of pancakes. Stu- Concluding the show, Iris Li ʼ08, ac- ent cultures made it a great experience!” and brightly colored South Asian outfits. All dents enjoyed learning and saying the com- companied by a full band, sang the wildly of these and more were found at the Diwali- plex names for plum pancakes, “pfaumen- popular Chinese song, “Fairy Tale.” Eid show last Friday. pfannkuchen,” pancakes with mushroom, Abishek Sripod ʼ07 said, “The song Phillips Academyʼs India/Pakistan Soci- cheese, and ham, “pilzpfannkuchen mit was calming and relaxing and left me with Compiled By: Lisa Lian and ety (IndoPak) organized this annual event. Kaseund Schinken,” and delicious apple a warm, fuzzy feeling.” Megan Richards Co-head Abhishek Sripad ʼ07 said, “It is pancakes, “Apfelpfannkuchen.” The International Festival finished the important to have a Diwali and Eid celebration “The best thing about this kind of Ger- night with a fashion show. Models strut at Andover because the school is supposed to man food is that you can eat it for dinner or represent the world at large. Statistically, there have it for dessert,” said Allerbeck. are more Hindus and Muslims [combined] in “The International Food Festival is an the world than any other religion. In India and escape from Commons food,” said Chris Pakistan, we see the rare blend of two reli- Han ʼ07. “Instead of eating ordinary food gions and cultures. Therefore, in a sense, we from the U.S., we get to try foods from dif- are bringing the world to Andover.” ferent countries.” Diwali, also known as Deepavali, is the Other popular dishes at the Festival Hindu festival of lights, a celebration of Lord ranged from French crepes to Bulgarian Ramaʼs defeat of the demon Ravana. One of stuffed apples the most significant events of the Hindu cal- “This food is outstanding, delicious, endar, the festival symbolizes the triumph of unique, and Iʼm definitely coming back good over evil. next year,” said David Stern, Chemistry This festival usually occurs at the end of M. Discenza/The Phillipian Instructor. “Itʼs a blast.” October or beginning of November, during The boys of IndoPak sport their best With full stomachs, the patrons of the which Hindus celebrate by getting together dance moves and poses. Food Festival made their way to Kemper with family and friends and enjoying good Auditorium for the International Talent food, song, and dance. and Fashion Show. Eid al-Fitr is the festival of fast-breaking, observed by Muslims who fast during the Stephanie Teo ʼ08 and Mike Zhan month of Ramadan. On the first day of Eid, many Muslim families wake early and go to their ʼ08 started off the talent show with witty mosques to attend khutbah, a congregational prayer and special sermon. After fasting from skits. They declared that, “God made dif- sunrise to sunset each day during the Islamic lunar calendarʼs ninth month, many Muslims ferent languages and different people for a celebrate all the things they are grateful for with joyous festivities, food, and gifts. purpose. And that purpose is to share and During the first part of the evening, a charity dinner in Underwood offered a broad selec- enjoy with all!” tion of home-cooked South Asian food such as naan (flat bread), chana (spicy chickpeas), Notable acts included the Yorkies, who B. Canaday/The Phillipian chicken, and other dishes with rice and vegetables. As of last years, IndoPak established this sang an Italian folk song, “Viva Tuttae.” Paul Joo ʼ08 performed a heartwrenching rendition of a traditional Korean dinner to be a fundraising dinner for natural disaster relief. Sales from the $5-a-plate dinner They cheered up audiences with the trans- folksong at Saturdayʼs International Festival Talent Show. raised an impressive sum of $350. Later, IndoPak presented the Diwali-Eid talent show, which was M.C.ʼd by IndoPak members Rohan Hooda ʼ07, Nikhil Sabharwal ʼ07, and Ishan Kapoor ʼ09. They kept the audience engaged between acts by performing a series of brief skits. They also presented their own act, a mock-interview with members of the PA campus. In the video, they asked questions from “Who is the current Prime Minister of India?” to “Who is the most attractive South Asian on campus?” The studentsʼ responses were intentionally ridiculous, but hilari- ous as well. Picking on the Nerd Many students also performed many South Asian-style dances. According to Nayab Theatre 520 Production Khan ʼ08, “The most fun part of the Diwali show was performing the Bhangra dance. The group had really bonded in the days leading up to the show, which made performing it really to bring Tansy and Willum together and also work to help Willum fun.” Victoria Sanchez with his building designs. Blue Strut members Renee Amirault ʼ07, Farah Dahya ʼ08, and Kiara Brereton ʼ09 The cast is rounded out by Blaine Johnson ʼ08 and Scott Dzialo danced an IndoFusion dance, which first appeared in last yearʼs Diwali-Eid show. Some ʼ09, who play Waldgraveʼs wife Celia and young son Thor, respec- brightly colored dupattas, Indian scarves, jazzed up their black outfits and reflected the girlsʼ Nick Anschuetz ʼ08 popped open a bottle of Jack Daniels and tively. The show required much more work and effort than a typical creative combination of traditional Indian and contemporary western dance styles. poured himself a glass as he said, “Jack! Jack Daniels! Where the play. The cast and crew of the production treated the show as a 5th In addition to this yearʼs talent show, IndoPak hosted an “Indian accent contest.” A hand- hell you been, babe? Have you had anything to eat? Well, try some or 6th course, so they have been grinding out rehearsals during 6th ful of audience members entered the contest hoping to win a $30 gift certificate to the Bol- of my stomach lining!” As he downed the shot, not a single faculty periods and Wednesday nights from 6-9:30 all term. lywood Grill in North Andover. After listening to the contestantsʼ best attempts at Indian member stood up to reprimand him. With so much to keep in order, all of the organization was left to accents – ranging from actual Hindi phrases to lines from “The Simpsons” character Apu Sound a bit unrealistic? This is a scene from “The Nerd,” a play stage manager Lilli Stein ʼ07. Of the experience Stein said, “Learn- – the competition narrowed to Eddy Kang ʼ07 and Andi Zhou ʼ09. After reciting part of the by Larry Shue which premiered in Steinbach Theatre last week- ing to be a stage manager was something all together new and “Welcome to India” rap, a humorous rendition of Ludacrisʼs hit “Welcome to Atlanta,” Zhou end. “The Nerd,” directed by Instructor in Theatre, Mark Efinger, strange to me, and it was challenging to try to exceed expectations eventually emerged victorious. is the culmination of the Theatre 520 classʼ work this term. And the while sweeping up the questions and problems of my colleagues.” The final event of the program was the fashion show, which is traditionally one of the “whiskey” Nick was drinking? No worries, just some watered-down Shepley said, “We had to plot out what our objective was in ev- most popular elements of the Diwali-Eid show. Over thirty models clad in traditional South Coke. ery scene. We used beat sheets to figure out what we are trying to Asian attire strutted down the Kemper aisle in pairs. The evening was a fantastic success. “The Nerd” focuses on the get from the other person in the scene during each moment of the Sripad concluded, “Whenever youʼre able to coordinate a lot of people into doing something, life of Willum Cubbert, an ar- play.” The actors also used various other methods to get into charac- itʼs a good feeling.” chitect played by Eli Grober ter. In the play, Shepleyʼs character wants to become a weathergirl, ʼ09. Willum has trouble de- so Shepley spoke with a newscaster about her experiences to get into signing a hotel for his latest character. client, Warnock Waldgrave, The play also required a complicated set. The Theatre Depart- played by Evan DelGaudio ment Chair, Bruce Bacon, was in charge of scenic design for the ʼ08. Simultaneously, Willumʼs play. Together with Johnson and DelGaudio, Mr. Bacon built the romantic life is also in set with input from director Efinger. As well built as the set was, a danger. His love in- new molding for the top step of the staircase broke during one of the terest, Tansy Mc- scenes, in which Thor, played by Scott Dzialo ʼ09, rambunctiously Ginnis, played by jumped around and rolled down the steps. Ellie Shepley Dzialo said, “I didnʼt even know Iʼd broken the step until I got ʼ08, plans to backstage. But it came out well because thatʼs something my char- move away to acter would probably do - break something.” take a weath- The play also presented a challenging set of props. Stage man- ergirl job in ager Stein said, “You look at the list [of props] and gawk. Its like five Washington pages long and calls for things like cottage cheese, Cornish hens, D.C. devilled eggs, a T-square, watercolor renderings, and a monster cos- T h e i r tume - the props table is covered with junk.” mutual friend, The props girl, Jean Fang ʼ09, said, “Finding the props was Axel Ham- stressful. I got them from all over. The bad part is when the audience mond, played steals the 610 business cards, which I spent a period cutting. And all by Anschuetz, conspires the tech people have to run around with mops and clean up the cot- with Rick Steadman, tage cheese off of the furniture. Everything was real.” played The hard work of the cast and crew on the props, the set, and the M. Discenza/The Phillipian by David Holliday ʼ08, actual acting helped to create a hilarious play that is worth seeing. If M. Discenza/The Phillipian “The Nerd,” as played by who “saved” Willumʼs life you have not seen it yet, donʼt miss the last performance, this Sunday David Holliday ʼ08. in Vietnam. The pair attempt at 2 p.m. in Steinbach Theatre. IndoPak members donned their best South Asian fashions on Friday Night. Volume CXXIX, Number 22 SPORT Phillips Academy, Andover, Massachusetts S November 10, 2006

Emphasis on Positive Cheers Takes Fire Out of the Crowd

By The Sports Editors board” in a winning effort or PHILLIPIAN SPORTS EDITORIAL yelling “Safety School” to jeer Exies. The fall Andover/Exeter One of the best parts of the weekend is the most intense football game is hearing both sporting event of the year. schools shouting cheers at each In recent years, however, the other, taunting each other, over shifting focus to “enjoying the the din of the action on the rivalry” has diminished the in- field. And this verbal warfare trinsically competitive nature takes nothing away from the of the games. actual game. It should be an The point of the weekend is unspoken requirement of any to dominate Exeter and show rivalry game, especially one as our superiority as a school storied as Andover/Exeter. through our athletic teams. In this same spirit, the Ex- While we understand the ies will not heed any advice to importance of behaving re- tone down the virulence of their M. Discenza/The Phillipian spectfully, we would assume cheers, chanting “What Do We Geoff Martin ʼ07 (left) keeps strong form against Exeter opponents. Dave Wilson ʼ09 (right) sprints to the fi nish as Andoverʼs top that beating Exeter is still the Do, Kill You” across the side- runner against Exeter. primary objective. The fans line at the Andover crowd or should feel every bit as in- hanging huge banners saying volved in the games as the “Screw the Blue.” As a player, players and should be as loud hearing your crowd taunted in Boys Cross Country Beats Exeter; Prepares for Interschols and intense as possible. this manner and not hearing The overemphasis on po- any response diminishes your Wilson ʼ09 Leads Andover to Take Four of the Five Top Places litical correctness and poten- swagger and confidence and, tial insensitivity of Andover ultimately, hurts your perfor- cheers and Andover fans has mance on the field. By Abby Levene did last week, there is no way The path looped back to runners to settle into fifth place taken some of the fire out of We ought to remind them PHILLIPIAN SPORTS WRITER Exeter can beat us.” complete the first mile and, fol- overall. After a cancelled race the lowing the two leaders, a clump Bramhall was stunned by his the games and taken a lot of the that our school was the blue- Andover 22 previous weekend, the team of runners headed by Bramhall incredible (and crucial) move: fire out of the crowd. print for theirs. They were not was eager for competition, es- and Addison Godine ʼ07 re- “Eli was the man on Saturday!” The athletes feed off the original enough to create their Exeter 33 pecially on the road against its emerged onto the field where A few minutes later, Keggi intensity of the crowd, and a own mottos, so they copied toughest rival. the race initiated. crossed the finish line first in toned-down crowd hurts their ours. Dave Wilson ʼ09 led the Without the presence on the The boys continued to battle 15:58. Eighteen seconds be- performance on the field. Andover fans need to be Boys Varsity Cross Country race course of Co-Captain Ken as they disappeared into another hind, Wilson finished in 16:16. There is not a problem with respectful, but should not fear team to a Watari ʼ07 and Mike Discenza forest area. A stride later, Co-Captain shoving our dominance in Ex- disciplinary action for verbally stunning win ʼ09, both suffering injuries, ev- After scurrying up the eterʼs face by shouting “Score- over Phillips ery runner knew he had to step courseʼs only incline, a short Continued on Page B3, Column 1 Continued on Page B3, Column 6 Exeter last up to bring home a victory for hill, the runners surged out of Saturday. Andover. the woods. BOYS CROSS Although With the starterʼs command, In the third mile, Andover COUNTRY hindered by Exeterʼs Graham Keggi was executed its moves. a few inju- first off the line. Bramhall and Godine fought ries and illnesses, the boys per- Displaying commanding Ian Winthrop of Exeter to a har- formed their strategy without speed, he quickly took charge epin turn around an oak tree. flaw, capturing the toughest of the pack. Here, Winthrop tripped and dual meet of the season by 11 Mimicking his speedy start, tumbled over. points. Dave Wilson ʼ09 stayed on Although he righted him- Co-Captain Ben Bramhall Keggiʼs heels. self and continued forward, he ʼ07 was filled with delight say- After traversing a field of never recaptured his position in ing, “The race gave us a lot of mud left over from heavy rains, the race. confidence for Interschols this the boys entered onto a wooded A few meters behind, Eli Saturday. If we run the way we trail. Howe ʼ09 sped by two Exeter

Girls Cross Country Destroys Exeter in First Dual Meet Win Over Exeter in Seven Years

By Anne Elder the fi rst time in years. In fi rst place dan ʼ09 and Jen Downing ʼ08 all PHILLIPIAN SPORTS WRITER was Amy Schuman, who, pushed broke 19 minutes, fi nishing with by Dewdney, set a new course re- times of 18:28, 18:45 and 18:52, re- Andover 21 cord that was a full 43 seconds spectively. These all were personal faster than the former record. best times for the girls. Exeter 40 The varsity team won with a Unfortunately, Exeterʼs number score of 21-40. This was the fi rst two runner lost a shoe in the mud B. Canaday/The Phillipian dual-meet win for Andover against on the fi rst stretch of the course. Leaping after a loose ball, Alex Clifford ʼ07 beats a Kimball Union opponent to gain possession. Led by Berol Dewdney ʼ09, Andover won the game 3-0. who took sec- Exeter since 1999. The JV team Jordan commented on the situation, ond place with also won their race with a per- “I was completely shocked when a time 18:12 fect score of 15-50 and took fi rst the Exeter runner lost her shoe and this past Satur- through ninth place. The strength in I avoided the mud for the rest of Boys Soccer Blanks KUA for Ninth Shutout; day, Andover the JV race shows the teamʼs over- the race. I heard the girl ask, ʻWhat GIRLS CROSS beat Exeter for all depth. do I do?ʼ, but I donʼt think anyone COUNTRY Abby Levene ʼ09, Breezy Jor- knew what to say. The girl tried to keep going, but she cut her foot on Charles ʼ07 Nets Two Goals, Readies for PEA a rock and had to stop. She was crying, and I felt really bad, but I By Matt Schubert fender Sam Gould ʼ07 and had As with the fi rst goal, Charles was mostly just glad that my spikes PHILLIPIAN SPORTS WRITER an opportunity to score, but goal scored this one from inside six were tied on tightly.” keeper John Gardner ʼ08 made a yards out. Both required hard Exeterʼs course was very fl at Andover 3 diving save, catching the ball with work, and the second was an es- compared to every other course the outstretched arms and sparking an pecially impressive feat. He made girls have run on so far this season. KUA 0 Andover offensive drive. a 40 yard sprint downfi eld to put The racers started across a muddy Gardner threw the ball to himself in position to score. fi eld turned to follow a dirt road into A.J. Charles ʼ07 scored twice Chris Wade ʼ08 on the left side “A.J. [Charles] had his best the woods. A loop led them through and led the Andover Boysʼ Varsi- of the fi eld, who passed to Cap- game of the year,” said Carr. the trees, along a trail scattered ty Soccer Team tain Alex Clifford ʼ07 in the mid- Captain Clifford scored An- with roots and rocks. After exiting to a 3-0 victory dle. Captain Clifford then sent a doverʼs third and fi nal goal, drib- the woods, the runners doubled over Kimball through ball to Zach Dixon ʼ08 on bling his way past three defenders back along the dirt road and across Union Acad- the right, who had a one-on-one in the goalieʼs box to put Andover the fi eld into another wooded area. emy Saturday. with the opposing goalie. Dixon up 3-0. This took them around another Andover en- shoveled the ball over to Charles, Charles and Clifford led a large fi eld and through to a grassy BOYS SOCCER tered the game who knocked the ball in from the strong offensive performance for fi nish. a bit uneasy keeperʼs right side. Andover. Crossing the fi nish line in sev- about the play- This “two goal swing”—as “The forwards played a good enth place was Abby King ʼ07 at ing conditions. The game was Carr termed it—put Andover up game overall,” said Carr. 19:13. She was followed closely by played under the lights on the turf 1-0 and set the team on its way to Andoverʼs defense also had Sara Ho ʼ08 at 19:19, Sarah Cohan at Merrimack College because of victory. a strong performance. Naturally, ʼ08 at 19:28, and Aubrey Zimmer- time and fi eld constraints. Ando- From this point forward, An- goal-keeping anchored this de- ling ʼ09 at 19:37. verʼs players were worried that dover remained in control of the fensive effort. Gardner played the In the words of Coach Lang, KUA would have an advantage game. It held the ball for most fi rst half, and James Freeman ʼ07 “The Andover girls had tremen- because it plays its home games of the game and made frequent covered the net during the second dous performances! We raced 30 on turf. Andover adjusted nicely, drives on the opposing goal. half. This was the seventh game girls. To have that number healthy however, and this turned out not “We dominated for most of of the season in which Andover enough to race at this point in the to be much of an issue. the game,” said Dixon. “We kept has not allowed any goals. After season is unprecedented.” Andover got out to a fast start, possession about 70 percent of Saturday, Andover had let in just Next weekend the girlʼs team took control of the tempo, and the time.” nine goals—the fewest of any Charles continued to propel team in the Class A league. M. Discenza/The Phillipian will travel again to Exeter, this time remained on top the entire game. to defend their current title of New In the 20th minute, a KUA player Andover forward by scoring the The team faces Exeter on Sat- Berol Dewdney ʼ09 races Exeterʼs top runner to the fi nish on England champions. teamʼs second goal of the game. urday to close the regular season. the fi nal grassy stretch. made an impressive turn on de- B2 THE PHILLIPIAN SPORTS NOVEMBER 10, 2006 Andover/Exeter Preview Anthony Ambrosi ʼ07 Anthony Ambrosi ʼ07 hasnʼt stopped running since he came to campus from Newton, MA. The 5ʼ9” postgraduate tailback and cornerback has kept up a pace that captured the Andover single season rushing touchdown record only five games into the season. With OOTBALL 17 touchdowns and over 1120 yards rushing in six games, the speedy and powerful back F has averaged 187 yards per game and an astounding ten yards per carry on the ground. Ambrosi had done this against defenses that stack eight or nine men on the line of scrim- mage to stop the run. “Heʼs obviously an amazing running back, but heʼs so important to our defense as well,” said teammate Austin Monahan ʼ07. “After he runs on offense, heʼs able to keep running on defense and can cover anyone we need him to.” Last Saturday vs. Worcester, Ambrosi racked up 4 tackles and registered a sack and an interception. Tomor- row, the very quick Exeter defense will be the biggest challenge Ambrosi and backfield partner Luke DeLuca ʼ07 have faced this year.

6-0 6-1 Peter Casey ʼ07 Three-year starter and Co-Captain Peter Casey ʼ07 also leads the team on both ends of the field. A vocal leader by example, Casey lines up at tight end and as an outside linebacker. Fellow wideout Austin Monahan ʼ07 chipped in and said, “Heʼll tell you what youʼre doing wrong in practice, and point you in the right direction. Heʼs a very hard 2005: Andover 24 - 8 Exeter worker, and he practices just like he plays, all out.” The experienced linebacker provides an excellent run-stopping presence, and fills out the best linebacking corps Andover has seen in a long time with Kevin Wood ʼ07, Luke DeLuca ʼ07 and Gigi Cadet ʼ07. Casey also has caught six passes for 183 yards on the season, good for second in receiving yards on the team. Cornerback Chad Hollis ʼ08 remarked, “Peterʼs the leader of the defense. Heʼs always in the right position and making sure we are too, making big plays when we need him to, and you know no one is going to shed that tackle.”

Annie Boylan ʼ07 Annie Boylan ʼ07 is the captain of the Andover Field Hockey team. She plays back, and is one of strongest defenders on Andover Field Hockey team. The team has only given up 17 goals this season in 13 games, for an average of 1.3 goals per game. While not the FIELD HOCKEY best defense in the league, the Andover unit, led by Boylan, has been great at holding the lead in close games. Andover has yet to fall behind late in the second half, and its one loss came on early goals from the Brooks offense. Boylan will have to lead the Andover defense to another strong game and keep the score close, as the Exeter offense is on a role, having scored eight goals last game and 32 on the season. Boylan ought to continue her strong play and role as a leader on the field this weekend against Exeter. Lauren Jackson ʼ07 Lauren Jackson ʼ07 has been the leader of the Andover offense all year. Jackson, a Senior forward, leads the teams in scores off penalty strokes. Jackson has received four 9-1-3 11-3 stroke chances and converted on all four. She has scored seven goals this season in thir- teen games heading into the season finale against Exeter. Jacksonʼs goals have come at crucial points throughout the games, and three of her seven goals have been game win- 2005: Exeter 2 - 0 Andover ners. Jackson is a key part of an Andover offense that has scored 32 goals in 13 games, for an average of 2.46 goals per game, and she ought to have a great game in order to lead the offense against an Exeter defense that has only allowed 13 goals all year.

Alex Clifford ʼ07 The Andover Boysʼ Varsity Soccer team carries an 8-2-3 record this season, thanks to a healthy balance of offense and defense. Captain Alex Clifford ʼ07 has led the team in its scoring efforts - creating plays and putting in eight goals of his own. He combines terrific BOYS SOCCER handling skills with aggressive play to work his way around defenders and set up offensive drives. “[Captain Clifford] has excellent skill and a certain ruggedness,” said Coach Steve Carr. “Heʼs a competitive kid.” Carr also noted that Clifford has “worked to hone his leader- ship skill” this year. “He leads by example,” noted A.J. Charles ʼ07. Coming into the year, the team was losing four members of the Class of 2006 that had provided leadership for four years. Clifford has stepped into that leadership role and has helped put Andover in position to make the playoffs after being surprisingly shut out of the postseason last year. John Gardner ʼ08 Goalkeeper John Gardner ʼ08 has anchored one of this yearʼs best defenses in the Class 8-2-3 13-2-1 A league. Carr admires the progress Gardner has made during the past two years as the Varsity keeper: “Johnʼs made some great strides. He tries hard to be a steady, poised pres- ence.” Behind Gardnerʼs efforts, Andover has the stingiest defense in New England Prep School soccer. Andover has given up a grand total of nine goals this year and has recorded 2005: Exeter 2 - 1 Andover an amazing seven shutouts. Gardnerʼs improvement has helped Andover win defensive struggles that it did not win last year, and a strong performance in net will be crucial in the game against Exeter. If Andover wants to make any noise in the postseason this year, Gardner ought to be the brick wall that he has been all year.

VOLLEYBALL GIRLS SOCCER

12-0 11-2 7-3-3 12-3-1 2005: Andover 3 - 1 Exeter 2005: Exeter 2 - 1 Andover Cassidy Carpenter ʼ08 Emily Weedon ʼ07 Having joined the Andover Varsity Girls Soccer team this fall as At Andover, itʼs very rare for an Upper to be given the position of a varsity starting goalie, Emily Weedon serves as the backbone on the playing team captain. However, after watching Cassidy Carpenter ʼ08 on the court, it field. This post-graduate from Wellesley, Massachusetts possesses a is clear why she was chosen to lead her team. A member of the varsity team certain prowess between the goal posts that keeps Andoverʼs defense since her Junior year, Cassidy has become one of the best players in New players calm. Katy Holihan, a fellow post-graduate and defensive England. Just last week, she was named to the Boston Globe All-Star team teammate, said, “On defense, I feel like weʼre all really comfortable due to her impressive play this season. Cassidy is universally recognized by with her behind us. I know if the ball gets past me, sheʼs the next line.” her teammates as a great leader on and off the court. According to Atima Lui Holihan also commented on Weedonʼs eagerness to play the field dur- ʼ08, “Whenever a player might be feeling down, Cassidy is always right there ing practice, often leaving the net in hopes of a shot on the opponentʼs to encourage her and make her feel and play her best” In addition, Carpen- goal—an entertaining attempt. Teammates and coaches strongly agree ter has elevated her play to a new level this season. As the setter, she is the on her overall enthusiasm and positive attitude. Assistant Coach Em- primary playmaker on the team and has produced an impressive amount of manuel Odjo noted, “Emily Weedon means a lot to the team... Even assists throughout the season. Her playmaking abilities and great leadership though sheʼs in goal and it may be hard to see, she helps bring the team have been a primary part in Andoverʼs 13-0 record on the season. together.” Pia Heilmann ʼ07 Emily Little ʼ09 Whether itʼs due to her vibrant enthusiasm or her explosive play in the Thereʼs something about Lower Emily Little that strikes her teammates back court, Pia Heilmann ʼ07 has been a key part of Andoverʼs success and coaches. Assistant Coach Emmanuel Odjo said, “Emily Little is an this season. A two-year member of the team, she has impressed many on outstanding athlete. Sheʼs basically unbreakable, thatʼs how I see her on the the court this year with her outside hitting abilities. Recognized as a hard field. She doesnʼt talk much, but you can feel that she invests her mind and worker during practice, Heilmann has consistently improved throughout soul in the sport and plays with passion.” Clearly a skilled soccer player, the last two years. As a substitute, she has contributed with both great Little was a starting defender during first year on the team as a Junior. In back court play and solid hits at the net. However, her volleyball skills Andoverʼs game with Brooks, Little covered the opponentsʼ best forward, are just one talent of many that she brings to the team. Erika Bakies ʼ08 and helped Andover to a 3-1 win. This season, her presence is felt through- echoed the thoughts of many when she said, “Pia is a remarkable person out the field game in and game out. Teammate Katie Michaelson ʼ08 called and player, always bringing life and fun on and off the court...She brings a Little “the center of our team.” Hopefully Littleʼs skill and infectious in- lot of spirit to our team.” When Heilmann graduates next spring, the team tensity will lead Andover to a victory over Exeter, which may determine will miss her never-quit attitude on the court. whether or not the girls will move on to the postseason tournament. THE PHILLIPIAN SPORTS NOVEMBER 10, 2006 B3 BXC Wins Students Lack First A/E Competitive Coaching Bowl Vigor in A/E

Depth of PA Runners Thereʼs Nothing Wrong Fuels Win With Playing (or Cheering) to Win Continued from Page B1, Column 4

Bramhall and Godine crossed Continued from Page B1, Column 6 together in 16:17. Howe completed the race mixing it up with some Exies. next in 16:22 to secure Ando- Do not be like the Exies and verʼs hold on four of the top five cheer when an opposing player places. gets injured. Do not be like Sixth and seventh were taken the Exies and shout curses and by Exeterʼs Winthrop and Bren- slurs at opposing players. nan who finished in 16:31 and However, do cheer when 16:33 respectively. an opposing player makes a Rounding out Andoverʼs mistake that benefits Andover. scoring, Evan Moore ʼ07 ran Do cheer when that goofy Grif- powerfully to cross the line in fin mascot trips over his own

16:39 for eighth. B. Canaday/The Phillipian tail and face-plants into the Exeter attained the next five Andover Football players and fans celebrate last seasonʼs 24-8 win over Exeter on Exeterʼs home turf. With a win over the Big ground. places, followed strongly by Red on Saturday, the Varsity Football team would return to the New England Championship game. Victory at Andover/Exeter Alex Hugon ʼ07 who finished is a source of pride for not only in 17:13. Geoff Martin ʼ07 also students but also alumni. ran with zeal, crossing the line In 20 years, whether you in 17:24. Football Defeats Worcester 16-6 and Prepares to Face Exeter; won or lost at Andover/Exeter Driven by the flat course will matter a lot more than if and Andover/ Exeter rivalry that you “enjoyed the rivalry.” melted the frosty November air, Hollis ʼ08 Blocks Two Punts and an Extra Point to Spur PA to Win Is it really possible to “en- a large number of personal best joy the rivalry” when hundreds times, some by a minute, were By Chris George Red zone turnovers and key rushed in for the score, but Hol- and there,” but also emphasized of Exies are stomping and cele- recorded. PHILLIPIAN SPORTS WRITER stops by Worcester hit Andover lis blocked the extra point as the great special teams effort brating at midfield on our home Following the race, former hard on the scoreboard, but PA Andoverʼs lead shrank to 9-6. the Blue put on. “Our kickers turf? Exeter coach Dave Weber per- won the battle for field position Andover quickly answered, and punter did great jobs. The Andover 16 At the same time, is there formed the honors at the inaugu- with its efforts. driving down the field, but once extra points were huge because anything better than the elation ral presentation of the “Coachesʼ Worcester 6 On its first drive of the game, again shot itself in the foot and it made our lead a two-posses- after a win in your final Ando- Bowl,” a new prize given each Andover easily moved the ball turned the ball over to Worces- sion lead.” ver/Exeter? downfield but, after 13 plays, ter for the sixth time. The defense put in an out- year to the winning team of the Andover and Exeter alumni forked the ball over on a fumble On Worcesterʼs ensuing pos- standing effort and bailed out Andover/Exeter varsity cross On Saturday night, Ando- cross paths all over the profes- at the Worcester 16-yard line. session with a chance to take the the offense in by far the worst country race. ver finished off its penultimate sional world. An Andover vic- Co-Captains Bramhall and After holding the hosts to lead and give Andover its first offensive performance of the o p p o n e n t , tory at A/E gives our alumni Watari proudly accepted the sil- a three-and-out, Hollis broke loss of the year, Chris Bramwell year for Andover. W o r c e s t e r bragging rights over their Exie ver bowl on behalf of the team. through the punt coverage, and ʼ07 made a leaping interception PA held Worcester to nega- Academy, by colleagues. Although the squad returned deflected the kick out of the end and squelched any chance of a tive yards rushing and allowed a 16-6 score Winning is most important. home with the win, the boys are zone for a safety, and a 2-0 PA Worcester comeback. only one big play, stuffing the at a neutral Having fun will take care of it- well aware of the hard work that lead. Andover answered with a Worcester attack for the entire FOOTBALL site, Assump- self in a winning effort. still lies ahead at Interschols. tion College Later in the half, after an- long drive, but came upon more game. Wilson elaborated: “We all other halted Worcester drive in red zone trouble as it faced a Tomorrow brings the match- Thus, we implore Ando- in Worcester, ver students to do everything thought the race would be tight- Massachusetts. the opponentʼs end of the field, fourth down and seven from the up everyone has been wait- er than it was, and weʼre glad we Hollis blocked another punt, de- Worcester 12 yard line. ing for, the 126th meeting of in their power as spectators to The outstanding PA defense will their athletes to victory on won by a healthy margin, but we forced four turnovers, a safety, flecting the ball into the hands The Blue collected itself, archrivals Andover and Exeter, still have to arrive at Interschols of Gigi Cadet ʼ07, who ran the however, and Co-Captain QB at home in Phelps Stadium at 2 Saturday. and scored a touchdown, while Be loud and intimidat- expecting to be challenged at Chad Hollis ʼ08 blocked three ball in 25 yards for the score. Will Sherrill ʼ07 fired a 12-yard p.m. on Saturday. every level.” “Chadʼs got great timing, TD strike to Austin Monahan The game will also be video ing; show them that this is our kicks in the victory. house. The race secured the teamʼs “Most importantly, we came and he takes pride in his spe- ʼ07 to increase the gap to 16- broadcasted live on wpaa.com. We donʼt want any violence, undefeated record of 6-0 in the away from a game on the road cial teams work. Heʼs just got a 6 PA and deliver the dagger to This year, 6-1 Exeter fields but thereʼs nothing wrong with regular season. healthy, and with a win,” com- great knack for blocking kicks,” Worcesterʼs hopes for an upset. a speedy defense and a talented continuing the tradition of Additionally, the day served mented Coach Modeste. said Coach Modeste. Andover stopped the Hill- and quick offense, led by QB school pride and enthusiastic as a preview for this weekend The Blue came away with a With a dominating first half toppers once again in the fourth Cam Ely and RB Mark Seager. support for our athletic teams. when Exeter will be hosting the season-low one offensive touch- defensive performance, Ando- quarter, forcing a fumble inside PEA will be looking to bust New England Prep School Inter- down on the night, but gained ver led 9-0 at the end of the first the Blue 20-yard line, and would out big plays on offense and Keep the cheers classy but scholastic Championship. over 300 yards and had an ef- half, with all nine points coming hold the lead to exit the night defense, and the Big Blue is not wimpy. Donʼt be so worried fective passing game. off the blocked punts. with an intact 6-0 record. preparing for anything Exeter about hurt feelings or insensi- The Blue turned up its game The Andover offense suf- throws its direction. tive chants. in the third quarter, but not be- fered from four fumbles and two The stakes are also higher After all, theyʼre only Ex- fore Worcester struck with one interceptions aside from gaining this year: the winner moves on ies. big passing play. 300 yards. to play the Salisbury School in A long reception placed the Coach Modeste remarked, the New England Class A Super Hilltoppers at the two yard line, “We had a little too many turn- Bowl. ATHLETIC and its running back promptly overs, had some mistakes here SLATE PA Volleyball Sends Four Players to League All-Star Game; Team Looks Sharp Heading into A/E with Win over Worcester ANDOVER/EXETER, NOVEMBER 11 By James Ricker Over the course of the match, 14 for 15 with 6 aces. Once again, by the defeat. PHILLIPIAN SPORTS WRITER nearly every player on Andoverʼs Captain Carpenter demonstrated Exeter has a strong defense, 12-woman roster saw time on the her great playmaking abilities by and it has the ability to keep tough Girls Soccer @ 11:00 Andover 3 court. The scores of the games contributing with 34 assists. Fi- balls in play and extend rallies. were 30-18, 30-10 and 30-18, re- nally, Joyce-Mendive proved her Andover is expecting the Big Red Worcester 0 spectively. With the win, Andover MVP status with 10 kills through- to put forth a very tough match, as improves to 13-0 overall on the out the match. is always the case on Andover-Ex- season and 11-0 in the league. This Saturday, Andover looks eter day. Field Hockey @ 11:30 Last weekend at Choate, Even though Wednesdayʼs to fi nish the season with an unde- After a very productive scrim- four of Andoverʼs standout vol- win was truly a team effort, there feated record against rival Exeter. mage against Andover High and leyball players were some great individual per- The Big Red will come to the Bor- two more solid wins, the Big were rewarded formances that propelled the team den Gym with a 10-2 record, and Blue feel well prepared for both Volleyball @ 12:00 for their hard to victory. Engelsted provided will be looking to avenge their 0-3 Saturdayʼs game and the postsea- work and suc- consistent serving with an impres- loss to Andover earlier this sea- son. Andover hopes its all-around cess this season sive 18 for 20 from behind the son. With 3-0 wins against Deer- great play and leadership will top with all-star rec- line. Also serving a strong game fi eld and St. Paulʼs after the loss, it off an undefeated season with a VOLLEYBALL ognition. It was was Melissa Yan ʼ10, who went is clear that Exeter was motivated win against Exeter. Boys Soccer @ 1:00 a tough decision for the Andover coaches to select four players to make the trip to the all-star game, as many members of the team de- Football @ 2:00 served the honor. However, after some deliberation, Dawson Joyce- Mendive ʼ07, Sarah Beattie ʼ08, Isabelle Engelsted ʼ09 and Cas- sidy Carpenter ʼ08 were chosen as the Andover representatives. On Sunday, in the all-star INTERSCHOLS, NOVEMBER 11 game, all four Andover players had great performances and were selected to the Boston Globe All- Star team. This was particularly impressive, as only 12 of the 36 Girls Cross Country Inter- players present were selected to the Globe team. Joyce-Mendiveʼs schols @ Exeter, 1:30 impressive season continued as she was selected by the coaches as the MVP of the league. All season, Joyce-Mendive has been one of the main contrib- Boys Cross Country Inter- utors to Andoverʼs success, and it was no surprise to those involved schols @ Exeter, 1:30 on the team that she was selected as the MVP. On Wednesday, the Andover girls had another strong show- ing against non-league opponent Waterpolo Semifi nals vs. Suf- Worcester, winning the match 3- 0. The team looked very sharp fi eld @ 12:00 from the start, and Worcester was unable to handle the strong serv- ing of Andover. Great teamwork

was displayed on the court, and B. Canaday/The Phillipian the entire team contributed to the Englested ʼ09 and Beattie ʼ07 (left) block a Worcester hit. Lui ʼ08 slams in the win over Worces- shutout victory. ter as Andover heads into the Exeter match undefeated. B4 THE PHILLIPIAN NEWS NOVEMBER 10, 2006 Student Council Caffeine Helps Students Cope with Work and Long Nights kick and are much more powerful is an immensely popular drug consumption of too much caffeine Continued from Page A1, Column 1 than just a cup of coffee. NoDoz both on and off the Phillips has caused medical problems. pills contain 200mg of caffeine Academy campus. From a He said, “There have been some Update is not a problem at Andover. “A each, while a cup of coffee usually medical perspective, Dr. Keller problems. Weʼve seen things Abbot Grant Presentations lot of people [use] caffeine, but contains between 100 and 200mg, said, “Anything [with caffeine like kids who have overdosed… Student Councilʼs Abbot Grant proposals for student-faculty I donʼt think many people are depending on the size of the drink that is] used sporadically is OK. they come in with symptoms of dinners and GW renovations will be presented at a dinner meeting on addicted,” said John Twomey and the type of coffee used. Dr. However, in big doses, caffeine anxiety attack and panic.” Thursday night. Teddy Collins ʻ08, Maura Mulroy ʻ07 and Carolyn ʼ08. Richard Keller, School Physician, becomes a concern…Multiple An overdose can occur Brown ʻ09 will elaborate on these ideas during their presentations. Cassidy Carpenter ʼ08 added, observed that some other pills caffeine drinks per day could be a following the ingestion of as “Itʼs not a problem because itʼs could contain as much caffeine as problem and lead to addiction.” little as 250mg of caffeine, School Congress not just at this school – everyone two to four cups of coffee. About the usage of caffeine though since tolerance to the The Student Council will focus on the student-faculty dinner uses caffeine.” and the Academic Advisory Committee. The Council is trying to keep Studentsʼ thoughts on pills pills, Dr. Keller said, “Once you drug builds quickly, student Caffeine is the most popular the topic of dialogue limited to discussing faculty opinions rather than were mixed, but many felt that the start using caffeine in pill form, daily consumption often greatly drug in America. In January administrative approval. use of pills was not widespread thatʼs too much – especially if exceeds this value. 2005, the Journal of the American School Congress, which is essentially a faculty meeting to which the enough to be a reason for concern. you take them multiple times He added, “I would stay away Dietetic Association wrote Student Council is invited, will be held Monday at 6:45 p.m. in Kemper. Mike Donelan ʼ08 said, “I know together.” from high-caffeine drinks; they that as many as 90 percent of No Uppers will be present because of a conflict with date rape seminars. kids who take caffeine pills for Dr. Keller acknowledged that can get you into trouble. The next the American population had finals, but I donʼt think itʼs a caffeine use is widespread and step up is the use of prescription consumed caffeine, and that 87 PSPA Grant Application problem on campus.” often only in moderation, but he drugs, like Ritalin, etc. They have School President Danny Silk ʻ07 applied for a $300 dollar percent of those who did had Dr. Keller noted that caffeine commented on cases in which a greater risk of serious effects.” PSPA grant to fund the provision of food during certain student council consumed it through either coffee meetings. While all meetings are open to the public, Danny feels that or soda. food would provide an incentive for more widespread participation. However, some students did view caffeine as a problem Residential Education Program on campus. James McGuiness Honored Veterans Share Personal Possible changes to Life Issues were suggested, including ʼ08 said, “I donʼt drink coffee, combining it with Physical Education and having Seniors lead the but a lot of people do. Itʼs a weekly Life Issue meetings with Lowers. Experiences with the Student Body problem because students are bert Hooverʼs statement, “Older men It was also brought up that orientation groups should extend overworked.” declare war, but it is the youth that beyond the first few weeks of school to further the connection between By BONNER CAMPBELL Students have also found other must fight and die.” returning and incoming students. Brigadier General Carlson is a Carlos Hoyt, Associate Dean of Students, and Rebecca Sykes, ways to consume caffeine besides In celebration of upcoming Vet- retired member of the MA National Acting Head of School, were present at last weekʼs meeting to discuss coffee, tea, soda, and energy eranʼs Day, two honored Andover Guard. He was a commander of ar- these issues. drinks. Caffeine pills, such as veterans spoke at this weekʼs All- tillery and engineer units, and was -Kevin Zhai NoDoz, can be used for an extra School Meeting. They discussed the military tradition of the school and selected as Assistant Adjutant Gen- emphasized the importance of not eral (Army) for the MA National politicizing the service of veterans. Guard. He received federal recog- The first speaker, Captain John nition as a General Officer in 1986 Doherty ʼ59, attended Harvard Uni- and retired in 1993 after serving his Political Figures and Alumni Join versity and then entered military state and nation for nearly 44 years. service. He is the current Director of The Brigadier General remind- WPAA Live Election Night Coverage Veteransʼ Services for the Town of ed the students of the rich military Andover. tradition of PA. Three alumni are recipients of the nationʼs highest Continued from Page A1, Column 1 abruptly, apologizing and saying, Heffner approached the He served in the Vietnam War award, the Medal of Honor. The “I have to go run and do a Fox in- Academyʼs Senior Administrative as an Assistant G2 Officer for the Although an air of chaos typi- youngest Navy pilot in history and terview or Iʼm going to be in real Council about streaming the Southern European Task Force in cally surrounds even the most hundreds of other acclaimed veter- trouble with my employers.” show on the web. On the Tuesday Verona, Italy from 1964-1965 be- professional of election night fore being deployed to Vietnam as ans are also PA graduates. broadcasts, the show ran relatively The show was the culmina- following Parentsʼ Weekend, with Brigadier General Carlson fo- tion of a yearlong undertaking by the support of the faculty, the deans an Intelligence Officer between M. Discenza/The Phillipian smoothly, featuring interviews 1965 and 1968. Mr. Doherty has cused on the strong military ethic John Doherty ’59 spoke of his Heffner, who has hosted various decided unanimously in his favor. experiences as a veteran. with nearly every scheduled guest, been awarded the Bronze Star, four and honor of one alumnus, Tom as well as live results and forecasts congressional candidates on his “His effort and the programs Hudner ʻ43. weekly WPAA broadcast, includ- seemed like a valuable contribution Purple Hearts, and a Republic of and Brown came from very differ- courtesy of news networks with Vietnam Medal of Honor. A pilot fighting in the Korean intermittent features from the orig- ing newly elected congressmen to the PA community,” said Marlys War, Lieutenant Thomas Hudner ent social backgrounds. Brown was John Hall (NY 19th District) and Edwards, Dean of Students and In his lecture, Mr. Doherty em- the first black pilot to serve in the inal WPAA broadcast and the Yor- phasized that soldiers do not start the flew with his wing of eight planes kies, PAʼs male a capella group. Dave Loebsack (IA 2nd District). Residential Life. over Chosin Reservoir in North Ko- U.S. military and the son of a poor “Alexander works hard to Despite the conclusion of the wars, they just fight in them. In Viet- sharecropper in Mississippi, while Susan Estrich, former Nation- nam, Mr. Doherty said, “[He] never rea on December 4, 1950, to protect al Campaign Manager for Michael make his show sound like some- “Campaign Forum” series, The the American ground troopsʼ re- Hudner was the son of a well-off thing you might hear on NPR,” Progressive Mind has more dis- served with anyone who started that Irish family. Dukakis, ended her commentary war or decided how we fought it... treat. said Frankievich. tinguished guests lined up, includ- Suddenly, something hit the Despite these differences, Hud- “I see my program as pro- ing U.S. Senators Olympia Snowe As a nation we must divorce politics ner did the best he could, piling with military service; the conflicts plane of ensign Jesse Brown, a fel- gressing thoughtful conversation (R-ME) and Chuck Hagel (R-NE) low pilot. His engine went out, and snow on the engine to keep it from rather than a particular partisan as well as former senator Max Cle- are not of the soldiersʼ making.” lighting the plane on fire. He also The treatment Mr. Doherty and he was forced to land without power agenda. My aim is to be objective land (D-GA). on the rugged mountaintops. kept Mr. Brown warm by giving and open-minded and invite guests Heffner also plans to begin a his fellow veterans faced after re- him his hat and scarf. turning from Vietnam shocked him. In an instant, Hudner made a of all political persuasions,” Hef- “PA Alumni Perspective Series” For his heroism and selflessness, According to him, “Many people crucial decision and proceeded to fner said. later this season, featuring Acad- Tom Hudner received the American chose to take out their anger on the crash-land his plane on the moun- Heffnerʼs interest in the emy graduates who are prominent tain without permission from his Medal of Honor. soldiers and not at the polls as they “America needs its defenders, American political system in politics and journalism. Unlike should.” commander. He ran over to Brownʼs sparked his decision to organize Tuesdayʼs show, however, Heff- plane to see what state he was in. always has, always will,” concluded Upon returning to Andover, Brigadier General Carlson, “Look his “Election Night Special,” nerʼs programming will once again his hometown, Mr. Doherty saw a Hudner struggled to free Brown, but and he began work on the event be limited to the PA campus. the metal was too thick. out for yourself by looking out for woman bearing a sign labeled “End America.” last summer. During the months Heffner said, “In...2007 and the war, bring home the baby kill- Mr. Carlson noted that Hudner before school, Heffner contacted beyond, I plan to start spotlighting ers.” Although the woman told Mr. a handful of political analysts, governors throughout the nation Doherty not to “take it personally,” S. Blackman/The Phillipian activists and reporters with the and interviewing potential and Alex Heffner ’08 covering the the sign offended him deeply. hopes that they would be interested declared 2008 presidential candi- He ended his speech with Her- Admissions Travels to Attract election live in WPAA in contributing. dates.” “Youth From Every Quarter” also help the admissions staff Continued from Page A1, Column 6 shape the future Phillips Acade- Kennedy ʼ86 Reelected; my student body. The Admissions cantʼs needs. Unlike loans, grants Office feels that it is important to do not have to be paid back and include the current students in Chafee ʼ71 Loses Senate Seat cover mostly curriculum-related the admissions process so it can costs. Some scholarships offer receive direct feedback about the more benefits to students depend- diversity of students at the Acad- By JACK DICKEY ing on a familyʼs particular finan- emy. cial situation. The grants given to In September, Andover in- Rhode Islandʼs Tuesday night term in 2000, and has continued students come directly from the vited educational consultant Dr. election results brought both good to serve as a senator since. schoolʼs endowment. Whitney Laughlin to advise the and bad news for Andover alum- Mr. Kennedy was first elected The Admissions Office has Admissions Office on the recruit- ni. Rep. Patrick Kennedy ʼ86 dis- to the House in 1994, where he also formed the Composition of ment of Native American stu- patched Republican challenger presently serves on the House Ap- the Student Body Committee, dents. Jon Scott, but Lincoln Chafee propriations Committee. Contro- which will include alumni, current Dr. Laughlin helped found ʼ71 lost his seat in the Senate to versy has marred the incumbentʼs PA students, faculty and trustees, College Horizons, a pre-college Democratic challenger Attorney year, as he received much public- and should greatly change the pro- workshop for Native American General Sheldon Whitehouse in a ity for driving his Ford Mustang Jason Reed/Reuters/CORBIS cess. The committee will meet in students. The Admissions Office close, competitive election. into a barricade on Capitol Hill Rep. Patrick Kennedy ʼ86 (D-RI) defeated challenger Jon is waiting for her report and will Mr. Chafee lost the race de- while intoxicated in the early Scott to keep his seat in the House of Representatives. January, around the same time as the first Board Meeting of 2007, work with the College Horizons spite of the efforts of Andoverʼs hours of the morning. program for Native American stu- Republican Club, which brought Both Mr. Kennedy and Mr. to discuss the student body, and attempt to determine what types dents in June at Harvard Univer- a team of nearly 20 volunteers Chafee have rich political fam- Democrats and Republican sity. Andover will join many elite to Warwick, R.I., on November ily histories within New England. of student the Academy should focus on recruiting. colleges at the four-day college 5. The volunteers met Senator Mr. Kennedy entered into politics fair hosted by the program. Chafee briefly for lunch, then before graduating from Provi- Clubs Aid Campaigns Students from the Admissions spent nearly all day Sunday can- dence College in 1991, winning to distribute fliers to customers Office Ambassador program will vassing the state capital, Provi- his first election to join the state Continued from Page A1, Column 2 throughout the day. According dence, going door-to-door to House of Representatives in The Democratic Club was to OʼHern, Democratic Club sway independent voters and Rhode Island in1988. especially excited for the midterm chose to visit Lawrence partly rally support. Mr. Chafee graduated from elections. “Itʼs the first time in 20 because it is heavily populated by According to the National Brown University after leaving years that Democrats can retake Democrats. Journal, Mr. Chafee has the PA, but he opted to pursue a ca- the Senate and the House,” said On Election Day itself, most liberal record of any sitting reer as a blacksmith, working at President Joseph OʼHern ʼ07. Democratic Club gave members Republican senator. The clubʼs harness racing tracks in the US However, before the elections the chance to watch as votes leadership felt obligated to aid and Canada before serving on the took place, he described were counted and the data was an alumnus of similar affiliation, Warwick City Council. reservations about the results: analyzed. Election Day proved to considering his votes against the Mr. Kennedy, who has re- “I realize that itʼs still going to be a great victory for Democrats, Iraq War and support for environ- cently acknowledged developing be a tough battle…Republicans who took over the House and mental preservation. a cocaine addiction during his have structural advantages. The maintained strong representation Although the Democrats teenage years, later entered drug congressional districts are set up in the Senate. Club did not campaign for Mr. rehab, and now must take weekly so that there are more Republicans Patrick, now the governor of Kennedy, they did hold a voter urine tests as part of his congres- in each area,” said OʼHern. Massachusetts, gained 56 percent registration drive in Lawrence sional probation program. He is Democratic Club campaigned of the votes (over one million the weekend before the election. the son of Massachusetts Senator specifically for Deval Patrick, votes), which is a 21 percent Alexander Heffner ʼ08, one of Ted Kennedy. Democratic candidate for difference from the percentage of votes Republican candidate the clubʼs members, also hosted The election results of the Governor of Massachusetts. Like Kerry Healey received. Healey an internationally broadcasted Andover alumni accurately rep- the Republicans in Rhode Island, gained 35 percent of the votes, a election special Tuesday night on resented the trends across the the members of the Democratic Club visited Lawrence over the little more than 750,000 votes. WPAA. nation, as the Democrats seized Dean of Students and Since 1999, when then Mayor control of the House, while Mr. weekend to rally support for Patrick. They went from door Residential Life Marlys Edwards of Warwick Mr. Chafee was ap- Chafee was one of several incum- said, “I think [Seniors] should pointed to replace his late father bent Republican senators who to door to remind Lawrence residents of the location and definitely vote. Not just day and become the junior senator were defeated. The re-election of students, but boarders too…Itʼs a from Rhode Island, the stateʼs na- Mr. Kennedy will allow him to time of the voting. Members also put up fliers and handed them right that needs to be exercised. tional representation has had roots serve until January 2009, while If you start when youʼre eighteen, on the PA campus. Mr. Chafee Mr. Chafeeʼs term concludes in out throughout the town, even asking businesses for permission you learn the importance of won re-election for his first full January 2007. voting.” THE PHILLIPIAN NEWS NOVEMBER 10, 2006 B5 Symposium Discusses the Effect of Modernization on American Art ~Picture of the Week~ work displayed the changes in depiction of ordinary people in the landscape resulting from new Harlem and their spirit, hope, and Continued from Page A1, Column 4 telegraph and railroad networks. sense of community. Art History at Washington Uni- Karal Ann Marling, Profes- Hills described the Addi- versity, presented her analysis of sor in Art History and Ameri- son Galleryʼs Kibitzers, a group Alexander Archipenkoʼ Torso in can Studies at the University of of African-Americans gathered Space collection, a series of nude Minnesota, spoke about George around two men playing check- female sculptures. Bellowsʼ circus paintings of the ers and giving unwanted advice. Professor Miller discussed the twentieth century. During a time According to Hills, the warm col- way in which Archipenko brought period where entertainment was ors and jazzy feel of the painting cubism to Americans with deco- important, Bellows carefully ob- show how African-Americans in rative and stylized shapes that served the interactions between Harlem “celebrated their struggle distinguished his work. Prof. performers and their audience. in humanity.” Miller noted that people “[are] According to Prof. Marling, he Other speakers discussed po- uncomfortable in the presence captured the essence of Americaʼs litical and religious aspects of of elegance, and elegance in this amusement and leisure obsessed nineteenth century art. Alexander time period is a packaged prod- culture during the twentieth cen- Nemerov, Professor in the Histo- uct.” tury. ry of Art at Yale University, high- Underlying Archipenkoʼs Patricia Hills, Professor in lighted the themes of Jacksonian work is a concern for growing Art History at Boston University, democracy in John Godman and modernization in America dur- presented Jacob Lawrenceʼs Har- John James Audubonʼs writing ing the twentieth century. While lem street scenes. She discussed and paintings, focusing particu- many of his female sculptures are the connection between Langston larly on Godmanʼs Rambles of a posed in classic style, their sleek Hughesʼs poems and Lawrenceʼs Naturalist and Audubonʼs Noth- structure suggests machinery. paintings, which followed the po- ern Mockingbird. Prof. Miller explored the reasons emsʼ rhythms. The Charlotte C. Weber Pro- behind these portrayals of the fe- Furthermore, both Hughes fessor in Art at Wake Forest Uni- male, concluding that Archipenko and Lawrence expressed their versity David Lubin presented his hoped to illustrate how the fasci- feelings about racial segregation analysis of Childe Hassamʼs flag nation with modern appliances in their art. Prof. Hills described paintings and their connection has displaced interest in people. Lawrenceʼs style, which por- with the First World War. Hassam Another featured expert was trayed Harlem as “a vernacular used nineteenth century French Jennifer Roberts, Assistant Pro- street-savvy contrast with simple art techniques in his work to raise fessor in History of Art and Ar- shapes and a limited palate.” support for the first global war of chitecture at Harvard University, Prof. Hills continued to ex- the twentieth century. who focused on the work of Ash- plain the importance of family for Erika Doss, Professor in Art er B. Durand and his landscapes. the thousands of African-Ameri- History at the University of Colo- During the middle of the nine- cans living in Harlem during the rado, discussed Protestantism in teenth century, American com- twentieth century. According nineteenth century America with munication and transportation to her, the significance of Law- Augustus Saint-Gaudensʼ The technology advanced as a result renceʼs art, with its sharp edges Puritan. of industrialization. Durandʼs and blunt details, lies within his The paintings featured in this series will be on display until Jan- B.Canaday/The Phillipian uary 7 in the Addison Gallery. Blue Key Heads sold spirit gear in the Commons lobby this week in preparation for Andover- Exeter weekend.

Wreck Exeter! Brace Center Fellow Heffner ʼ08 Compares Beliefs And Decisions of the Female Supreme Court Justices in their court proceedings and de- Heffner wanted to research how ters.” Both Justices OʼConnor and By JENNIFER MORGAN cisions. He concluded that while these women attained such high Ginsburg agreed that the policy WRITE FOR NEWS the two often agree in cases deal- positions, how their background was unconstitutional and should Alexander Heffner ʼ08 found ing with gender discrimination, and experiences have shaped the be inclusive to women. that the two female Justices on they disagree in cases involving way they make decisions, and to While Justice OʼConnor tends the Supreme Court only seem to reproductive rights and affirma- explore the differences between to be more conservative in sup- agree on issues regarding gender tive action. their legal philosophies. porting reproductive rights and discrimination. Prompted by his interest in the Heffner found that both wom- questions “a womanʼs unchecked On Monday night, Heffner political process and law, Heffner en graduated at the top of their authority to have an abortion,” gave the final Brace Center pre- began his research this summer class from prestigious universi- Justice Ginsburg has never voted sentation entitled “Madame Jus- Go x6646 by interviewing distinguished ties, but their different legal ex- for a measure that hinders a wom- tices: A Comparative Analysis of law professors and clerks who periences have led them to follow anʼs access to an abortion. She has the Biography, Temperament and had worked under the two wom- different paths as judges. Justice also traditionally voted more lib- Jurisprudence of Justices Sandra en. He then read numerous books Oʼ Connor has served in the Ari- erally on affirmative action cases, Big x6139 Day OʼConnor and Ruth Bader about their lives, their respective zona State Senate, as a judge in believing that minorities deserve Ginsburg.” legal backgrounds, and their de- the Superior Court and as a judge compensation for decades of In his presentation, Heffner cision-making history on the Su- on the Court of Appeals. Her historical discriminations. Jus- hoped to determine if a common preme Court. While researching, background in legislature helped tice Oʼ Connor believes that race Blue! x6430 feminine judicial voice prevails Heffner searched for the answer shape her judicial philosophy on should be used as a small factor to a central question: whether or the Supreme Court. in admissions, but not a large one not Justice OʼConnor and Justice Justice Ginsburg worked as like the system, which the Uni- Ginsburg share a single female a law professor, a director of the versity of Michigan undergradu- Latino Students Consider Creating a voice in their jurisprudence. Womenʼs Rights Project for the ate admissions uses. In the beginning of his pre- American Civil Liberties Union Heffner concluded that the sentation, Heffner stated that (ACLU), and finally as a judge differences between Justices Group Solely Dedicated to Latino Issues there was “no doubt in [his] mind on the Court of Appeals for the OʼConnor and Ginsburg show that these are two of the most in- District of Columbia. Her experi- that no distinct female judicial few parents who were on cam- leadership. Once Olmo gradu- Continued from Page A1, Column 1 fluential women in history.” He ences as both a woman and a Jew voice exists. Both of the justices pus for Parentsʼ Weekend. ated, the desire for a Latino went on to explain how their votes have shaped her views on gender are passionate, courageous, and At this second meeting, the organization still existed, but it became evident that there is a in the Supreme Court constituted equality and reproductive rights. knowledgeable, but the fact that students continued to acquaint students lacked the appropriate need for a group that exclusively two out of the total nine, giving Out of the three main issues they are women does not set them themselves with each other leadership, and the club disinte- relates to the issues of Latino them much more decision-mak- that Heffner studied, he found that off from the male justices on the with questions like, “What was grated. students on campus.” ing power than other women in Justices OʼConnor and Ginsburg Supreme Court. your adjustment like coming to Dhariana Gonzalez ʼ08 gath- legal or judicial professions. tended to agree on cases dealing Heffner said that it was “fas- PA? What did you find hard or ered a group of Latino students The judicial power these with gender, because they had cinating” to study their complex easy?” for the two meetings mentioned women held inspired Heffner in both experienced its effects. In differences and plans to continue Johnny Carmona ʼ09 com- “The matter is that by Diaz. The first meeting was his research. Historically, it was a case where a Virginia military his work after reading more about mented on the meeting, “Over- with so many cultures held on October 12 in the Blue unprecedented for a woman to school did not allow women to at- these two “judicially different yet all, we did not come up with spe- represented in Af- Room of Commons with approx- become a judge of this power or tend, Heffner quoted Justice Gins- equally influential” female Su- cific ways to achieve any goals Lat-Am, it is difficult imately 10 students. even participate actively in le- burg, who said that the school had preme Court Justices. for a Latino organization. How- to specifically ad- During the dinner, the stu- gal proceedings. Furthermore, to be “open to Americaʼs daugh- dents voiced general discontent ever, we will be meeting again dress the differences over the lack of Latino presence some time in December, and within each cultural in Af-Lat-Am. hopefully then we can establish background.” Some Latino students at something concrete, and not just - EDDIE DIAZ ʼ07 the meeting also said that they general feelings.” Lychack Reads Excerpts from Novel wanted to educate students This is not the first time that about different Latino cultures. students have expressed their Olmo attended the studentsʼ Others stressed the importance desire for a singularly Latino first meeting on October 12 and The Wasp Eater, Fields Questions group. offered his advice: “In my opin- with it.” books 1984, Catcher in the Rye, of representing international La- Continued from Page A1, Column 6 tinos, who may not feel a strong According to Mr. Alonso, ion, right now is the perfect time When asked to give advice to and Watership Down to high connection with Af-Lat-Am. students have tried to form a La- for us to make a formal statement next, Lychack insisted, “I want aspiring writers, Lychack said, school students. tino club in the past. “Theyʼll as a community that we not only to get out of my own life. I donʼt “Be honest on the page. Trust He is currently at work on a The term Latino refers to yourself. Read a lot. Donʼt let book of modern fables. a diverse ethnic group that in- start up, as do many organiza- wish to support the current La- want to be solipsistic. I want to tions on campus, based on the tino population on campus, but get out in the world. Whenever people say no to you. If someone Further, he managed to sum cludes around 25 Central and can convince you not to write, up the frustration many writers South American races. specific needs of certain stu- also further develop that groupʼs you write, you become person- dents. Once those students leave, presence as their numbers in- ally involved. It doesnʼt feel like you shouldnʼt be writing. Itʼs a encounter with an eloquent turn Thus, Gonzalez noted that hard life.” of phrase: “I donʼt like writing. I the club dies off. Interest ebbs crease throughout our country work if you care about it.” the students “discussed what Lychak recommended the like having written.” being Latino meant for each of and flows,” he said. and worldwide.” Now Lychack is sharing his words of wisdom with Andover us, seeing that thereʼs so much One past effort to form an The current group of Latino students. He accepted the posi- diversity [within the Latin cul- organization resulted in a La- students on campus has decided tino club called “La Alianza not to rush the formation of a tion of Writer-in-Residence at Latina, ” Spanish for “The La- formal organization, in order to Phillips Academy because he considers the job “a wonderful “We did not come tino Alliance.” Nick Olmo ʼ98, avoid the possible failure of a along with three other students, hastily organized club. Instead, opportunity to teach and write.” Lychack, however, did not up with any specific founded the group in 1996 based they plan to continue informal [goals] for a Latino always know he wanted to be a organization...Hope- on feelings that Latinos were not meetings and discussion. The writer. “[In high school,] I didnʼt receiving enough attention on group has also recognized the know it was possible,” he said. fully [in December] campus. importance of establishing con- we can establish In college, Lychack attended Olmo said, “A lot of us [La- nections with the faculty and a writing workshop with Joan something concrete.” tinos on campus] at the time did maintaining strong student sup- Didion and Norman Mailer, - JOHNNY CARMONA ʼ09 not know nearly enough about port. where he discovered that writ- our own cultures to be ambas- Gonzalez ʼ08 said, “[Our ing was something he definitely sadors on campus. We felt that goals for this group] really de- wanted to pursue. ture].” we needed La Alianza Latina pend on if we can keep up mo- Lychack taught judo to men- Fernando Alonso, Director to exist for our own education mentum. Student demand and tally challenged children and 2 worked as a Mr. Softee ice cream of the (MS) program, hosted the so that we could then share our support shifts a lot, so weʼll just man before deciding to pursue second dinner on October 29 at knowledge and experiences with have to wait and see what hap- writing as a career. S. Hall/The Phillipian his apartment in Bertha Bailey the entire community.” pens. The specifics of what weʼre He said, “I donʼt have a lot Radoaca Tudor ’08 speaks to author and writer-in-residence House. 12 students and 3 faculty La Alianza Latinaʼs success going to do are still undecided.” largely depended on Olmoʼs of talent, but I have a talent for Bill Lychack after the reading of The Wasp Eater. members attended, along with a sitting and working and sticking B6 THE PHILLIPIAN SPORTS NOVEMBER 10, 2006 Cluster Soccer All-Stars CLUSTER RESERVES PETER DIGNARD ʼ07 FLG Forward

DAN POULIOT ʼ08 TNT Defense

ROB SUN ʼ07 JUSTIN WAITE ʼ07 ABB Keeper WQS Goalie

TREVOR SANDERS ʼ07 WQS Defense

NICOLE DUDDY ʼ08 TNT Midfi eld

JONAH GUERIN ʼ07 DANNY SILK ʼ07 NOAH WARREN ʼ07 NICK ANSCHUETZ ʼ08 FLG Defense WQS Defense ABB Defense WQU Defense

JOHN BURKE ʼ08 WQU Forward

DAVE CURTIS ʼ07 FLG Forward

LIZ SOLAND ʼ07 EVAN HARMELING ʼ07 DAVID CUTHELL ʼ07 WQN Midfi eld FLG Midfi eld FLU Midfi eld NICO LANSON ʼ07 FLU Midfi eld

Shay Paintal ʼ07 WQN Forward

Fallen Soldier HENRY YIN ʼ07 COLIN DUNN ʼ07 Award WQN Midfi eld PKN Midfi eld

PAT CURTIN ʼ07 JAY PARK ʼ08 JOHN GWIN ʼ07 ABB Foward WQU Forward FLG Forward

Jackson ʼ07 Scores Third Game-Winning Goal of the Season for Field Hockey; Go Big Andover Continues 10-Game Unbeaten Streak with 2-1 Win over Cushing

Blue! By Matt Higgins Just 2:15 into the game, Ando- The Andover defense played 12 minutes remaining, Andover the season against Brooks. PHILLIPIAN SPORTS WRITER verʼs Jamie Harisiades ʼ08 re- strong as well, keeping the Cush- now held a 2-1 lead. Saturday, Andover will close ceived a pass from Kristen Mac- ing offense at bay. The game The Andover defense held off the season at home in the annual Andover 2 donald ʼ07 and beat the Cushing headed into halftime still tied at Cushing and closed out the game Andover/Exeter game. Write for goalie for the games fi rst goal. 1-1. with another strong performance. Exeter comes into the game Cushing 1 The goal gave Andover a quick The second half was domi- Lead by goalie Ale Moss ʼ07 and with an impressive 11-3 record Sports 1-0 lead. nated by the Andover offense. It Captain Annie Boylan ʼ07, the and a two game winning streak. Lauren Jackson ʼ07 scored an- Andoverʼs lead was short- earned 12 corners in the half, but Andover defense was able to shut Exeter has not allowed a goal in other winning goal as the Ando- lived, as less than one minute lat- despite the numerous chances, out Cushing in the second half. either game, beating Holderness ver Field Hockey er Cushing scored to tie the game the Andover offense was unable The game ended with Andover 4-0 and then dominating their team kept its now at 1-1 just three minutes into the to fi nd the back of the net. holding its 2-1 lead. last opponent, Kents Hill. Exter ten-game unbeat- game. Finally, later in the half An- Andover is now sitting near dominated the game, both offen- x6558 en streak alive, Both offenses started to slow dover was able to earn a pen- the top of the league with a 9-1-3 sively and defensively, shutting beating Cushing down after the Cushing goal. An- alty stroke. Once again, Jackson record. The Andover Field Hock- out Kents Hill, 8-0. With both 2-1. dover had several chances, but calmly stepped to the line and ey team is currently on a ten-game teams playing well this late in the x6302 FIELD HOCKEY Both teams the Cushing defense stepped up beat the Cushing goalie. This unbeaten streaking dating back season, Saturday will certainly started the fi rst and continued to hold Andover to was Jacksonʼs fourth goal off a all the way to September, when offer a great game between rivals x2523 half with strong offensive play. one goal. penalty stroke this season. With the team suffered its only loss of Andover and Exeter.