th www.mx5club.com.au 15 Anniversary Celebrations (Cont…) Founded 1990

(Continued from page 2) for the cost of the CD/DVD. made to happen”, Sunday’s dinner has and instructions for the drive everyone justified this observation. headed off. The events inside went as follows: Rob Gray • Welcome by S. Corston Brian Butterworth • Entrée “Just wanted to say thank you for the excellent day we had on Sunday. • The birth of the MX-5 by B. Butter- worth • The birth of the club by P. Randell • Main course MX-press • Auction of MX-5 poster for charity by D. Turk • The MX-5 present and future by Editing, design and production Simon Corston & Bob Sharpe Sep-Oct 2005 D. Hughes • Cutting of the cake • Group photo • Desserts & coffee 15th Anniversary Sprint School (p.16) • Viewing of the new MX-5 NC on Sprint School (p.16) the lawns Event at Peel Manor 15th Anniversary Bash (p.2) In finishing I would like to provide some Sadly, I missed the drive, but reports of quotes from members who attended the people seeing and being thrilled by the function: AGM (p.8) cavalcade of MX-5s reached us quickly. Unfortunately, half way there the “Congratulations to all those who obvi- Everyone wants the first piece President’s QLD Trip (p.3) weather turned on us. Tops went up ously worked so hard putting together and the drive continued. Some of us such a wonderful day as the club's 15th That was the second event we have headed straight to Peel Manor to get anniversary dinner. The amount of ef- been on as club members, the first was the final banners up and be ready to fort put in by Simon, David, Ash and the track day at AHG. Both were pro- direct traffic. It was a great sight seeing Sandra, Vaughan and Robyn and oth- fessionally organised and the people the string of MX-5s working their way ers one may not be aware of, resulted were really friendly, we are enjoying up the driveway. in a day that will be long remembered ourselves! Once the arrivals were directed to their by those attending. Also the folk at Thanks for all your hard work. planned display position it was out with Mazda and the staff at Peel Manor Vanessa Haycock the cameras before heading inside. I must also be mentioned as all contrib- and Dave Abetz would like to make a request to anyone uted to a great club day. who took photos on the day to send “Thanks to you all who were them to David Turk or myself. We have involved in organising a plans to collect all the photos and video very memorable day last if there is any and compile a CD/DVD Sunday. which will then be available to members 11 out of 10 for all the "work behind the scenes", it was a David Hughes great experience for the club and all it's members, with plenty of detail taking care of!” Paul & Judith Andriessen

“Many thanks for a great day on Sunday...fantastic!” Show me the money Dave Hults

Maybe a little more attention could have “Had a great time on Sunday - what a PLUS been given to the Rain Gods; however great day. Well done to you (Sandra), the few spots of rain hardly dampened Simon and all others involved in the Coming Events (p.5) the enthusiasm of those attending. It organisation of the day. And the cake Humour Us (p.11) was noticed the last to stop to raise the tasted awesome.” roof was our enigmatic Newsletter edi- Andrew Seinor Around the Club (p.14) tor who maybe had the task of speaking Past Events (p.5) with the Rain Gods and didn't really be- “Please pass on to all concerned with lieve it was raining. last Sunday's organisation my thanks ...and much more As a past president once said, “Great for a superbly organised function.” events don't just occur, they must be Barry Carter

20 1 Mazda MX-5 Club of WA inc members have reciprocal rights with other Mazda MX-5 clubs in Australia. th 15 Anniversary Celebrations by Simon Corston I want to start out this article by thank- However, when that happens I won’t fell through. David’s very noticeable ing everyone involved in this fantastic have such an enthusiastic and helpful contribution came in the form of the event. team working with me. slideshow running in the background I would like to make mention of some of displaying the enormous digital library First my thanks go to the sub- the individual efforts that went in to the club is building from the many committee that worked with me on this making this event so successful. events and motor sports activities it project, which consisted of Sandra Pull- Leslie Proctor, our newly-anointed Mer- gets involved in. Everyone found the man, Ashley Price, Leslie Proctor. chandise Manager, took on the task of slideshow to be a highly informative David Turk, Robyn and Vaughn Thomp- designing and ordering the 15th anni- and interesting display. sett. Everyone involved worked ably versary caps. The task involved design- and tirelessly on this project whilst still ing all the embroidery work and getting carrying out their normal committee re- the manufacturer to come up with the Bosch 044 motor sport fuel pump. Monte Carlo Magic Chameleon paint sponsibilities. Everyone did a great job right result. He achieved this with three FOR SALE Polished rocker cover and throttle-body. (seven different colours). and made my role of leading the sub- days to spare. Well done, Les. 1989 Mazda MX-5 NA6CE with Hardtop Mazda 5-speed transmission. Fully re-trimmed interior in Connolly committee much easier. Vaughn and Robyn took on a number One-tonne pressure plate. leather and matching carpets. of tasks including organising the park- SPECIFICATIONS Lightened flywheel. Clarion DRX 7675Z AM/FM CD player ing plan, the route the MX-5s took to Mazda B6 turbo pistons, connecting Mazda MX-5 Torsen 1.8 LSD. w/CD changer controller DIN Chassis get to Peel Manor, seating arrange- rods and camshafts. 1.8 drive shafts & input shaft. w/flip down detachable face plate. ments and many more administrative AVO manifold and head match-ported Carbing 4-point roll cage. 235 hp@ rear wheels at 1 bar boost on details that helped everything keep to and polished. Koni adjustable shock absorbers. SST Dyno Dynamics dynamometer. time. All this with Vaughn’s work which Autronics SMC engine management Sparco racing springs (50 mm lower). takes him out of state. My role was that of coordinating the system. Mazdaspeed front and rear anti-sway Sandra and Ashley took on a number of activities of the sub-committee ensuring HKS GT2535 ball bearing turbo. Contact: Alvin Ang bars. Email: [email protected] tasks including the magnificent anniver- that every detail was covered. I also Mitsubishi Evolution II intercooler. Mazdaspeed full body kit for MKII MX-5. Phone: 9258-4171 sary cake. I am no baker, but I can only had the privilege of liaising with David Mazda RX7 550 cc injectors x 4. Fully resprayed (in/out) in Standox Mobile: 0412 982 278 imagine how hard it must have been to Hughes of Mazda WA and with the Peel get the cake to look something like an Manor staff. I was also given the initial Next I want to thank Mazda WA (David MX-5. And it tasted great as well. The task of finding the venue and negotiat- Hughes) who provided excellent guid- schedule of events was developed by ing the costs of this event. Finding Peel ONLY IN SOUTH TEXAS ance to the sub-committee and at the Sandra and Ashley and they also or- Manor was as much luck as good man- A highway patrolman pulled a car over and told the driver that because he had been wearing his seat belt, he had just won same time made it clear that Mazda ganised the four speakers making sure agement. We tried to work a deal with $5,000 in the state-wide safety competition. would stay in the background allowing they were clear on what we wanted Houghton’s winery to hold the event. As the club to celebrate the event in the them to talk about. The speakers did a the location of the first ever club event, "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. way it thought best. Mazda WA also terrific job. The most amazing task San- it was thought that the historical signifi- provided the club with substantial sup- cance would add to the event. For vari- "Well, I guess I'm going to get a driver's licence," he answered. port by providing us with a loan vehicle ous reasons this did not work out, and to move things, all the audio-visual how fortunate that turned out to be. All "Oh, don't listen to him," yelled a woman in the passenger seat. "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." equipment, and the gift bags and their the other venues that were considered contents with the exception of those had no suitable grounds on which to This woke up the guy in the back-seat, who took one look at the cop and moaned," I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." great club anniversary caps. Mazda WA display our MX-5s. That was until I paid At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, in Spanish, "Are we over the border yet?" were also very generous in their assis- a visit to Peel Manor. Once I saw the tance in funding this event. location and considered the possibilities Thanks must go to you, the member- I was sold. It didn’t take more than a ship, who turned out in a big way to few photos to convince the rest of the support the day. Without you guys there sub-committee. FOR SALE would be no event. In addition to the The real fun for the sub-committee be- 1990 MAZDA MX-5 TURBO EXTRA EQUIPMENT Air-conditioned with new compressor membership I also want to thank the dra and Ashley took on was to prepare gan on Saturday afternoon. It was Cobra alarm and immobilizer with two and re-gassed dealers and Mazda staff who also at- the display boards and all the other amazing how quickly we were able to SPECIFICATIONS remote controls Floor mats tended the function. The presence of memorabilia of the club. This was just get the displays, audio-visual equip- Year of manufacture: 1990 Headrest speakers Four extra wheels with worn perform- three of the new MX-5 NCs really was the best display I have ever seen. I am ment and gift bags ready. On Sunday Engine capacity: 1.6 litre Additional interior lights in rear vision ance tyres the icing on the cake with the backdrop sure that old members enjoyed seeing the gathering of MX-5s at Car Park A Transmission: 5-speed manual mirror of nearly 40 club members’ MX-5s dis- things from the past and new members brought home how big this event was Colour: Red played on the grounds. got a great feel for the club they have going to be. After handing out gift bags Kilometres: 194,000 PRICE Finally, the staff and management of joined. One very important task that (Continued on page 20) $14,000 ono Peel Manor did a great job both in the Ashley had was to get the invitations OTHER PERFORMANCE IMPROVE- lead-up to the event and on the day. out to the membership and get the ac- MENTS CONTACT The manor, its grounds and the food ceptances locked in. With attendance Koni adjustable shock absorbers were all fitting for such an event. numbers over 90 it is quite clear how Lowered suspension Peter Folland Even as a professional project man- much effort Ashley put in to this task. Upgraded sway bars H - 9388 6454 ager, I had no idea just how much plan- David Turk was initially focussed on Heavy duty radiator W - 9480 2000 ning and effort goes into such an event. arranging a “show and shine” of our Heavy duty clutch M - 0413 946 939 Someone jokingly suggested that it was MX-5s which would have taken place at Limited slip differential Email: good training for organising my daugh- the Burswood casino; however, due to Sports air filter [email protected] ter’s wedding when it comes about. insurance issues and lack of time this

2 19 Your Committee President’s Report All state clubs are listed at www.mx-5club.com.au Wow, what a huge couple of months run. I realised he was serious when he ers who’d bought aftermarket parts Mazda MX-5 Club of Western Australia Inc Committee for 2005/2006 since the last MX-Press Presidents Re- handed me the stopwatch and pro- from MX-5 Mania over the years. She Home Work E-mail port! ceeded buckling into a racing harness. was very complimentary to our club Mazda kindly offered to fly state presi- Wow, what a blast! Steven has fitted a members. One WA customer had even President & Webmaster David Turk 9310 8975 0413 939 007 [email protected] dents to Queensland to enjoy the NC set of 14” OEM wheels and was run- been kind enough to send her a bunch MX-5 and I was delighted to accept. ning on retreads. The slipping and slid- of flowers as a token of his apprecia- Vice President & Simon Corston 9310 4013 0417 656 079 [email protected] My flight was to stop over for a night in ing through corners made the drive tion. My budget was tight, but my will Newsletter Production [email protected] Sydney before heading off to Brisbane seem even faster. At the end of the run was weak and I could not resist pur- for the “test drive”, I asked Mazda if I there was a spectacular view along the chasing a few goodies for our MX-5. Secretary & Sandra Pullman 9364 4456 0416 221 773 [email protected] could extend both the Sydney and Bris- beach to the city lights of Wollongong, I also visited the Sydney Aquarium for Event Coordinator bane sections of my trip and they kindly then it was time to buckle up and zoom the first time and would highly recom- Treasurer Alan Wallace 9313 6538 0414 809 922 [email protected] accommodated my request. back to Sydney. We stopped at Harry’s mend it to anyone heading to Sydney. I arrived at the crack of dawn Tuesday Café De Wheels on the fringe of Kings Motorsport Manager Ian Lewis 9277 3684 0407 058 996 [email protected] morning and began a day of sight- Cross. seeing and catching up on sleep. Membership Ashley Price 9364 4456 0411 886 122 [email protected] That night the NSW Club President George Benedek had organized a Merchandise Leslie Proctor 9358 2360 0411 520 595 [email protected] “Presidents Fish and Chip Run”. Local club member Stephan Mayer kindly Newsletter Editor Bob Sharpe 9332 1303 0438 929 046 [email protected] picked me up from my hotel in his bril- liant classic red NA6 and we drove to the meet point at the northern end of General Committee Neil Baker 9247 2747 0414 755 645 [email protected] the Harbour Bridge. About 30 people Their pie selection is famous and the were waiting eagerly. I got to meet quite café is lined with photographs of celeb- General Committee Robyn Thompsett 9593 6673 0419 587 776 [email protected] a few friends whom I’d only known via rity customers. We met Clarence Mak the national online forum; it was great from the local club and he showed me Friday morning I met NSW President General Committee Vaughn Thompsett 9593 6673 0419 587 776 [email protected] to be able to put names to faces. A the modifications he’d made to his George Benedek at the Sydney airport brief fireworks display begun across in NB8C including the very sexy K&N car- and later, Victorian President Matty General Committee Paul Liebich 9458 3990 0429 400 779 [email protected] Darling Harbour which the local mem- bon fibre intake mod. King and South Australian President bers laid claim to organising. NSW Club Alan Webber at Brisbane Airport, where All other club correspondence to: Mazda MX-5 Club of WA Inc., PO Box 849, Cloverdale WA 6105 Captain Craig Berthold is employed by we all excitedly stepped into a chauffer The committee meets on the last Tuesday of every month at Mazda WA 170 Campbell Street Belmont at 7:30 pm Ferrero Rocher. He surprised us all by driven limo for the ride to the Hilton Ho- Thanks to Mazda WA for the use of their premises. opening his MX-5 boot and handing out tel. boxes and boxes of chocolates. Mem- Mazda Australia had just spent a week Founding Members of the Mazda MX-5 Club of WA (Founded Nov 1990) who are still members bers filled their arms and headed to or so promoting the MX-5 to Mazda their MX-5s for the run to get dinner. dealers and the media . They had an Doug Cooper Ian Lewis Graeme Martin Ashley Price Sandra Pullman We all swarmed the tiny Balmoral fish MX-5 on display and we sat down to a and chip shop before sitting along the DVD presentation and a question and Life Member: Brian Butterworth beach side to eat dinner. answer session with Mazda Australia After dinner we had another exciting head Doug Dixon, MX-5 Product Man- run to Dee Why Beach for coffee and ager Amanda Chaise and the head of dessert. I received a lift back to my ho- Mazda Merchandise and Marketing For Sale tel with Craig in a silver 2002 Auto MX- from Japan. PARTS FOR SALE FOR SALE - MX-5 PARTS JONAH 5 company car he’d been borrowing. Thursday morning I rang Simone at A little girl was talking to her teacher Thank you to George and the MX-5 MX-5 Mania. The last time I was in Syd- Armrest – passenger door $20 Air filter box and intake $15 about whales. Club of New South Wales for organis- ney I’d made the hour long trip to their Bumper – front Racing Beat $200 – The teacher said it was physically im- ing a delightful and exciting run in my workshop only to find it closed. This available soon Windscreen washer reservoir $15 possible for a whale to swallow a hu- honour. Thanks also go to Stefan time she was there and kind enough to Cigarette Lighters $5ea man because even though it was a Meyer and Craig Berthold for lifts to and pick me up from the train station to Clutch - Heavy duty (250bhp) $200 Catalytic converter $5 very large mammal its throat was very from my hotel. I look forward to the op- show me their aftermarket part busi- Exhaust – 2.5” stainless steel, dump- small. portunity to return the favour should any ness and workshop. Simone is such a pipe to tip $500 All these parts were taken from my pre- NSW club members come to visit WA. warm and friendly person. We dis- Heater core & fan $100 vious (2000) MX-5 when the Loch The little girl stated that Jonah was While I was out enjoying myself in Syd- cussed all the different WA MX-5 own- Jack $20 Stewart intake and exhaust system was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the ney I missed the rescheduled AGM Radiator Cap $5 installed. All in working order. teacher reiterated that a whale could held at Wheelspin. Space Saver wheel & tyre $40 not swallow a human; it was physically A huge thank you to Vice President MX-5 Product Manager Thermostat - unused $10 Contact Simon Corston impossible. Simon Corston who chaired the meet- Amanda Chaise demonstrates Turbocharger, Garrett T25L – requires 0409 139 606 OR The little girl said, "When I get to ing and to all the committee members the boot release switch) refurb $400 [email protected] heaven I will ask Jonah". who made the task easier for him by Vents - air con eyeballs $5 ea The teacher asked, " What if Jonah releasing their reports via e-mail the We were all itching to get behind the went to hell?" previous week. wheel so it wasn’t long before we de- Ian Lewis Wednesday night MX-5 club of NSW scended to the hotel car park where a 0400 319 958 The little girl replied, "Then you ask member Steven Tew took me on the line of NC MX-5s were waiting. Stop- him." infamous “Nasho” Royal National Park (Continued on page 4)

18 3 month for the club teams? CMCSR erated up to as much as 160 kph and MC both run half-day individual’s on the 500m straight, into a fast President’s Report (Cont…) competitions just for you. Dates are left sweeper, a hairpin left, a fast (Continued from page 3) pects of the NC, about OEM GPS de- tackled was called “the goat track” shown on the club calendar. right sweeper, into a hard left, ping briefly to gaze and drool we then velopment and other Mazda products in which wound tightly around the side of accelerated again into a double paired up for the drive to lunch. the market place. The group from a mountain. The road often turned into MaxAction Autokhana apex left and an immediate 180° Mazda are a fantastic bunch and are as single lane sections which made for September 18. Congratulations War- right and flying finish. There was st passionate about the MX-5 as we are. It some nervous moments avoiding traffic wick Gates on your 1 place. Simon barely enough time to get your th was great to finally meet Alan from in the other direction. I can’t thank Mark Corston finished the day in 20 , 5th helmet off and cool down a bit Adelaide and catch up with the rest of and Sandy enough. It was a marvelous on handicap! before (Marshall) Robyn had you the state presidents. day with incredible roads made even lining up again, loading an in- For the drive back to Brisbane I got be- better by the chance to drive a pair of MX-5 MKIII structor and doing another lap. hind the wheel of a red auto MX-5. The stunning cars. We drove back to Hel- For those interested in performance You certainly couldn’t complain tiptronic style shift was fantastic but the ensville train station where I hopped on related figures, the new MKIII is 47% about the number of laps, in fact gear levers on the steering wheel a train to the airport for the flight home. stiffer torsionally than its predecessor, Club driver training day has come and some people were worn out well before th makes for an sensational auto MX-5, More news from Queensland is that allowing the suspension to work more gone. On Sept 25 we held our very the 12:30 pack-up time. A couple of the almost as good as a manual! there is a new State President in efficiently. Its centre of gravity is 18 first Sprint School. more enthusiastic drivers managed to Thank you to Mazda Australia for giving Queensland; Tom Sandmann. Con- mm lower and overhang weight run off the tarmac, but sus- me such a memorable experience. The gratulations, Tom! has been reduced, both improving tained nothing more than slight I got behind the seat of a brilliant black new NC is phenomenal. Any club mem- I’ve been aware of unfortunate rivalry cornering ability. Although re- embarrassment before getting manual MX-5. While the updated inte- bers who have questions regarding the between the three different Queensland maining in Motorkhana Class B, into it again. Many drivers also rior was new and exciting, I immediately new NC please ask me or test drive chapters (Brisbane, Gold Coast & Sun- the wheelbase has increased 65 took the opportunity to ride in felt at home. The new seats are stun- one at your local Mazda Dealer. shine Coast). Hopefully Tom can help mm, improving ride without the instructors’ cars to experience ning, I adjusted mine to suit, then the tilt On Saturday I was picked up at 6:30 settle some of the infighting and get need to soften the springs. The A just how quickly an MX-5 can of the steering wheel, a quick check of am by Brisbane MX-5 owner Ryan Mid- everyone focussed on enjoying their pillar is now 90 mm closer making lap the entertaining lit- the mirror and we were set to go. dleton, his girlfriend Kassy and NSW MX-5s, shake the “cardigan club” im- it easier to see those witches’ tle course. On behalf of every- I nervously followed the line of MX-5s club member Sean Thompson to attend age, hit some of those sensational hats. Torque to weight ratio has one I’d like to say a special out on the Brisbane roads, having the “Fast Fours Jamboree” a two-day twisty roads that I envy and entice improved roughly 16%, improving thank you to Robyn Thompsett never been to Brisbane I was a little drag racing meet held at Willowbank some of the younger members back acceleration (unless you own a who made sure all the cars afraid of getting lost, but more con- Raceway. into the club. turbo model, in which case you’re were kept in order and rolling cerned I’d put a scratch on such a Apparently there’d been huge traffic The MX-5 appeals to such a broad se- still ahead). A Torsen Limited Slip without delay and to our volun- beautiful car. The convoy headed out of jams the previous year so we got to the lection of people it’s important to cater Differential is now standard on the teer instructors – Warwick, Brisbane, keen to put the foot down and track early. Wandering around the pits for all different interests, be it mo- manual version improving corner exit After an early scrutineering and drivers’ Mark, Vaughn, Dave and Ashley from test the potential of the new NC MX-5. I looking at the stunning drag cars I was torsport related, cruising or social gath- and wet road acceleration. And brake briefing, 18 drivers with an instructor on MC Motorsport. I’ve had so many posi- discussed first impressions with Matty delighted to see so many Mazdas; I’d erings. You can’t please everyone all disc diameters are now 290 mm front board spent a very busy morning learn- tive comments about the venue, the the Victorian President in my passenger estimate at least one third of the field the time, but if you can please every- and 280 rear (2” bigger than the standard of instruction, the seat. were running rotary engines. body some of the time then all mem- ’89 model), “all the better for amount everybody learnt and Heading off towards Mount Glorious we We spent the day looking at the drag bers obtain some positive benefits from stopping you with”. how much fun it was. Look hit some amazing roads with a plethora racing, show cars on display, trade dis- the club. out for our future driver train- of nice sweeping corners. The new MX- plays and the cars being prepped in the On another note, the Queensland club National Motorkhana Champi- ing days, which will include 5 sits well on the road, very solid and pits. have been working hard on organising onships advanced driving, autokhana firm while remaining incredibly smooth That night Ryan drove us all down to the next Natmeet. We have a few club The Australian Motorkhana skills and multi-lap sprints. over the ruts and bumps. Unfortunately the Gold Coast to show me the Indy members who have already expressed Championships are being held at it wasn’t long before we pulled over, Car Race Track and some of the Gold an interest in attending. It would be fan- the AHG Driver Training Centre Tune To Win th took a few photos and I handed the Coast car scene. Thanks to Ryan, tastic to have a large WA contingent on Sunday November 6 . You Driving and tuning articles keys to Matty. I sat in the passenger Kassy and Sean for a great day. attend the event. The Natmeet website can spectate or if you have a from past MX-Press maga- seat trying to digest this first impression 9 am Sunday I took the first train to Hel- is http://www.natmeet2006.org.au/ . CAMS licence, compete. Either zines are available at www. and make some notes for this article. ensvale and was picked up from the As I reported in the last MX-Press there are bound to be great fun. mx5club.com.au and you Only a couple of corners later Matty station by Mark in his blue SP, Sandy in were some disagreements within the can read more in Engineer To was already testing the traction limits of a worked black SP and Mr and Mrs JTB Canberra Chapter of the MX-5 Club of P Plate Restrictions – NSW Win, Tune To Win & Prepare the sticky Michelin tyres; boy can he in their red NA6. NSW, unfortunately this rift could not be Revamped restrictions on P- To Win by Carroll Smith, How drive! We headed up the scarp and admired mended and a new Canberra club has Platers in NSW initially banned To Make Your Car Handle by the view of the coast before tackling been formed in competition with the them from driving a Daihatsu Co- Fred Puhn, Race Car Engi- some fantastic roads in the Gold Coast NSW Canberra Chapter. I would like to pen (47 kw) or a Smart car (45 neering by Van Valkenburgh hinterland. We drove to one of the wish both these clubs the best and kw) because they’re turbo’d, but and Inside Racing Technology dams that supplies the Gold Coast. hope that all members can find enjoy- allowed them to drive a Porsche 911 ing to drive the AHG Driving Centre by Paul Haney, all available from Pit- After some photos Mark handed me the ment from either club. Carrera S with 261 kw of power. track. From a standing start they accel- Stop Bookshop, King Street, Perth. keys to his SP and we zoomed off to Simon has written a brilliant review of Somebody pointed out the Bavarian Hut restaurant in Beech- the event, I’d just like to personally their stupidity and now mont, but found it shut so continued on thank all involved in making this event the restrictions are so to another café for lunch. After lunch I such a memorable day; particularly to complicated that no-one was given the keys to Sandy’s modified club Vice President Simon Corston who seems to know what a P- SP and boy was I bitten by the turbo coordinated the entire event, the 15th plater can or cannot bug! Both these SPs were so amazing anniversary sub-committee and Mazda drive! to drive. I couldn’t believe how effort- WA for their ongoing support. We stopped for lunch and quizzed the lessly the engine has to work with Sprint School group from Mazda about various as- some forced induction. One road we David Turk Another successful MX-5

4 17 Don’t forget to check out our website (www.mx5club.com.au) for the latest pictures MOTORSPORT REPORT Past Events With Ian Lewis Sunday Cruise - 4/9 Sprint School - 25/9 technical topics were discussed. For more see page 9. Team MX5A. 10 932.77 Congratulations to our own Warwick Sandra & Ashley organised a short cof- Ian Lewis did another great job of or- Mid-Week Pasta Run - 18/10 (Warwick 20, Simon 29, Mark 35, Dave Gates for placing 3rd at the Sprint fee run because of Father’s Day. This ganising a half-day on the AHG track.

49) Championship finals for class B—over enabled us to have a drive and meet Ian and several instructors took 18 driv- Seven cars, including new members, Team Elsie 11 939.18 2 litres. family commitments. Starting at No. 1 ers through their paces. Another bril- attended the drive to a South Fremantle & Friends Car Park the group headed off for liant learning experience thanks to Ian Wheels World 12 942.52 Hillary’s. See page 7 for the story. and the other instructors (both club eatery which serves great pasta. No CAMS News article submitted. WRXOC Girls With some help from Mazda WA, we members and Ashley from AGH). See After work get together & AGM - 14/9 Team MX5B. 13 969.51 may be re-affiliating to CAMS, which page 17 for details and pictures. Club Meeting - 25/10 (Pete C 36, Les 44, Rob 47, Andrew 50) would enable us to buy event insurance This gathering was held at Wheelspin, Mazport - 1089.45 and save our members from having to Club Meeting - 27/9 owned by member Les Proctor. The Melville Mazda were our hosts for the join another club to get their competi- AGM (Mark II) was completed. See committee meeting which was pre- We run two MX-5 teams. If you’re inter- tion licences. Stay tuned. The club committee met as usual at page 9 for details. ceded by a presentation of the new MX- ested in competing, timing or spectating Mazda’s WA headquarters (170 Camp- 5 NC. We were also shown through the please email motorsport@mx5club. Cruise Control bell Street, Belmont) at 7:30 pm. At MotorSport Report - 1 November Country Wildflower Drive - 17/9 workshops with an NC on the hoist and com.au. We can organize an introduc- The Australian introduction of cruise these meetings we discuss club busi- 2005 others being prepared for sale. This tory lecture and training sessions be- control in the new MKIII brings to mind ness, plan events and hear what is hap- Gary Wotzko organised this Saturday was an excellent and informative eve- fore you Mrs Grazinski of Oklahoma City, who pening in the motoring world. run to see the wildflowers in overcast ning, so look out for another meeting compete – if bought a new Winnebago motor home. weather. The drive started from the hosted by a dealer. you feel you On a freeway on her first road trip she Sunday Cruise - 2/10 Centrepoint Car Park (Midland) without need them! set the cruise control to 55 mph and left th any tales of people going to the wrong 15 Anniversary Bash Students the driver’s seat to make a sandwich in David Masters took us on an excellent car park. See page 8 for the story. who have the kitchen. Not surprisingly the Winne- drive to his holiday “shack” in Lancelin, The celebration of the year, by the way attended our bago ran off the road and overturned. where we were treated to great weather Fremantle Dinner Drive - 23/9 everyone responded. A vast array of Autokhana Mrs Gravinsky successfully sued the and BBQ. For the full story see page 7. MX-5s, a wonderful setting at Peel school are manufacturer for not advising her that Tich and Mike from the Queensland After Work Get Together - 12/10 Manor, great food and three MX-5 NCs well quali- she couldn’t do this. Winnebago, now MX-5 club were in Perth. David Turk to inspect. The sub-committee working fied. some $2M poorer, have rewritten the organised for two MX-5s to pick them This gathering was held at Wheelspin, on this project were strongly applauded owner’s manual. up, meet at car park A and then a drive owned by member Les Proctor. Various for their efforts. See the story on page 2 Bridge- (The above story is unfortunately an to Fremantle for a meal. with more pictures on page 10. stone WA urban myth and even the West admit- Sprint ted it the day after they published it. It Competi- has been left in just because it is enter- tion Coming Events David Masters taining and I want to believe it might Sprint meet- happen somewhere, someday……Ed) ings are Sunday Cruise - 6/11 Club Meeting - 29/11 Special Club Weekend Down South Autokhana is a great intro to mo- held at the AHG Driving Centre. Over 2 Feb 2006 - Reserve Your Spot torsport! Layouts are reasonably easy Drag Racing litre, under 2 litre, 4wd turbo & Outright The ever-popular 'Whoop Ass Wednes- David Turk is organising this The club committee will meet as Now! and very safe. You get out of first gear, classes compete on a 2.5 km track. month’s Sunday cruise. Meet at Car usual at Mazda’s WA headquarters but never into reverse. The MC Mo- days' for licensed, muffled Street vehi- With practice MX-5s will be quite com- cles are returning soon on Wednesday Park A (used to be No. 1) at 9:30 (170 Campbell Street, Belmont) at If you came on any of the previous torsport series is a half-day event at the petitive in the under 2L class as han- MX-5 weekends away in the Bunbury new International Airport venue. nights at Motorplex am and we start the run at 10 am 7:30 pm. All members are welcome dling counts more than outright power region organised by club members You drive three courses twice each and All you need to compete is a licensed/ sharp. to join us for pizza before discussing on these tight & twisty courses. Add a Dennis and Maree Courtney, then only the best three of the four team muffled street car, a helmet and long the club business. This is our last turbo to the equation and you have a you will know how fantastic they are members’ times are counted, so it sleeves, long pants and enclosed foot- After work get together - 9/11 committee meeting for 2005. possible winner in the over 2L class as and you'll want to buy a 2006 diary doesn’t matter if you occasionally suffer wear. well! You can race your car as many times straightaway and block out February brain-fade. Entry is $70 for holders of From 5:30 pm at Wheelspin (1/30- Sunday Cruise - 4/12 CAMS or AASA licenses and helmets as you wish and you will find the staff 24/25/26!! This is when we are plan- on hand only too willing to ensure that 34 Adams Drive Welshpool). Leslie ning another "Courtney special". are compulsory. For tips on autokhana Proctor always manages to arrange Simon Corston is organising this driving, go to www.mx5club.com.au/ your first experience at drag racing is For those of you who haven't man- an enjoyable one. It’s only $30. for some interesting discussion. If Sunday cruise. We will meet at Car aged to join us for this weekend of driver. you have some questions about Park A (used to be No. 1) at 9:30 mini-rallies, country drives to spots Hill Climb your MX-5 then this is the time and am for a 10 am start. Results by Teams – 9th October 2005 that only the locals know about, plus The opening round of the State’s first place to discuss it with the experts. Team Name PL Round 3 suberb meals and other special permanent Hill Climb track next to Bar- What The!! 1 854.97 Christmas Picnic - 10/12 treats - then make sure you reserve bagallo Raceway is limited to CAMS log Team RMS 2 874.32 Variety Club Event - 12/11 your place as soon as possible not to booked cars, but after that it should be Max Motorsport 3 875.98 Penelope Williamson is planning a miss out. This is a quality event in the available for club hire. Interested? WRXOC 1 This will be held at Whiteman Park fun event for our Christmas picnic club calendar - well-organised, good CAMS level 2S is the minimum licence Individuals 4 883.13 for children from the Salvation Army this year. The location is the South fun, and always at a magically good required. Team Technic 5 887.17 price. This year we are planning to fit foster homes in Mirrabooka and Perth foreshore. Watch your email The Odd Squad 6 902.61 in a sociable welcome BBQ, and a Individual’s Autokhana Competition Landsdale. Volunteer drivers should for details. SAUWA (Skyline) 7 910.81 trip to the local Dolphin Centre. Con- Don’t want to commit to driving every contact Mike Meynert for details. SkyRex 8 912.49 tact Dennis and Maree on court- WRXOC2 9 932.43 Leslie Proctor (Continued on page 17)

16 5 Editor’s Desk Bits ‘n Bobs Hi, everyone. I have just realised was the oldest continuous MX-5 station 92.9 was running an embar- WHAT’S IN A NAME? centre car park. It also appears that a to Car Park A. that the next issue of MX-Press is club (presumably in Australia). This rassing moments segment the other If you are involved in choosing a do- large number are caused by older peo- They have also laid some very vicious the Christmas issue. In previous is an achievement due in no small day when some guy rang in to say main name for your business think ple who cannot or will not turn their kerbing at the sides of the main en- times I have had to wait until after part to those founding members that he was embarrassed when he carefully and write it down before using heads while reversing. Maybe valet trance so don’t get caught by the loca- it. A perfectly acceptable business parking at shopping centres where you tion or the kerbs. the event to wish you all a Merry who are still associated with the backed his semi trailer over an MX- name can go horribly wrong when put could stop at main entrance of the I am told if you approach the entrance Christmas and a Happy New Year club and are listed in each newslet- 5. Regular readers will know that into a domain name. Here are some shopping centre and hand your keys at precisely 45.36 degrees from a but consider yourselves so wished ter. Well done, guys. David then that was my MX-5, with ME IN IT. I genuine examples. over to have it safely parked might southerly direction at 1500 rpm doing now. For those who didn’t want to went on to have a shot at club was tempted to ring in myself with a Who Represents, a database for agen- work. Anyone for a franchise? 20 kph with your hands at a quarter to be reminded, don’t take it too hard. members by saying that they did few comments but refrained. I hope cies to the rich and famous became Statistics are always quoted to support two and your eyes shut, you can negoti- On an equally happy note I can re- not buy enough cars. “You buy one, he didn’t win a prize. www.whorepresents.com the use of speed cameras but only in ate the entrance quite well…. port that I attended the 15th anniver- give it a name, fall in love with it Finally keep having “Fun on Experts Exchange, a knowledge base terms of total accidents and total sometimes. sary celebration of the club at the and can’t kill the damn thing off”. Wheels” and remember that for $20 for programmers became deaths. One wonders what the picture Peel Manor. What a magnificent See David we do listen…and yes a US insurance company will insure www.expertsexchange.com would be if these statistics could be EFFIN HARD TOP Pen Island, a pen retailer became broken down to show how many non- Ever whinged about putting on or taking event. It was one of the best run, we do like our cars. you for $10,000,000 against alien www.penisland.net drugged, sober drivers driving ordinary off a hardtop on an MX-5? Well, con- best organised, best attended On the fifteenth anniversary run I abduction and you only need the Therapist Finder, a database for thera- cars in the metro area doing 10 to 15 sider yourself lucky that you didn’t have events that the club has ever held. held off putting the soft top up but alien’s signature to get the cash. pists became www.therapistfinder.com kph above the limit are involved in acci- wads of cash and bought a Ferrari. A Credit must go to organiser Simon the rain didn’t, so at the point that it Mole Station Native Nursery in NSW dents. guy in the east who loves his Ferraris Corston and the sub-committee of bucketed down I stopped the car, Bob Sharpe became www.molestationnursery.com was complaining about the lack of David Turk, Robyn and Vaughn jumped out and realised that I had INDIAN(A) TOMBS headroom in his new F50 and when Thompsett, Sandra Pullman, Ash put the cover over the damn soft You have been warned. Watching a doco the other day on asked why he didn’t simply take the Price, Les Proctor and of course top. So while I unclipped the whole Webmaster Seeks PHP Guru! Mumbai I was amazed to hear that 10 hardtop off replied” Nah, it takes two people per DAY die on Indian railways. blokes well over an hour to do it.” David Hughes from Mazda WA. A thing stowed it in the boot and BROCK MAZDA The Herald-Sun newspaper has re- All from being hit by trains or railway full write-up will appear in this issue grabbed a jacket, I managed to get I’d like to add a lot more Dy- ported that Peter Brock’s new partner workers dying on the job. Each 12 car- KRAUT COLOUR but if you did not attend this event partially drowned before the roof namic Content and Member drives a Mazda 3. Seems like Mazda’s riage train carries 2500 people and one The Germans are developing a car you will realise what you missed went into position and I jumped Management to our club web- marketing men could strap 60-year-old arrives every nine minutes. Just think if paint that will glow red or some other after reading the details. Just don’t back inside. Les Procter and Ian site but I lack the time and Peter into the new MX-5 and see what you were to use your MX-5 to carry the bright colour at dusk or in fog. In future miss the Christmas function. Lewis kindly stopped and Les lent skills, if a club member would happens. passengers off just one train you would we may see freeways at night filled with David Hughes always entertains me a rag to mop out the inside of like to assist please don’t hesi- make 2500 trips or 12500 trips if you let luminous UFOs in green, red, orange and informs his audience and this the car though I thought I may have tate to contact me via Webmas- HO HUM REVIEW 12500 different Indians drive your car. etc. occasion was no exception. He told detected a smirk on their faces. It [email protected] – David MX-press will comment on MX-5 re- Paradoxically the Indian railways are views good and bad so here goes. the safest in the world in that there has A GOOD LOOKING BONK us that although the WA MX-5 club was still a great day. Turk Club Webmaster. John Simister writing for Evo motor never been a train smash into another In August this year attractive 19-year- was not the oldest club formed, it On another note apparently radio magazine says the new MX-5 has train, a la Uncle Fester. old Julia Bonk became the youngest something missing. Praising the Japa- state parliamentarian in Berlin’s history. nese for their exhaustive attempts to St BLOW-EM-ALL TO HELL Wearing a T-shirt proclaiming “Live bet- Computer Corner make the car “feel right” and be fun to The Russian Orthodox Church has des- ter without Nazis”, Ms Bonk made the drive, John says “it doesn’t quite work” ignated Saint Fyodor Ushakov the pa- front page of 58 German newspapers. THE LAW IS AN ASS Georgia: It is illegal to carry an ice FUN MEETING because: tron saint of NUCLEAR-ARMED, LONG Watch out President Turk, if she comes After seeing a reference to it in the cream cone in your back pocket on a Some photos of a meet involving The steering is quicker to respond but DISTANCE RUSSIAN BOMBERS. Fyo- over here, buys an MX-5, joins the club newspaper I checked out www. Sunday. the new MX-5 NCs. there is too much friction in the system dor, a naval admiral was a hero in Rus- and wants to be president she has my dumblaws.com and found a treasure Hawaii: All residents may be fined for http://gallery.q-taro.com/funmeeting which results in an artificial dartiness, a sia’s wars against Turkey and Napo- vote. trove of bewilderingly silly laws that not owning a boat. resistance to turning which you sud- leon, having never lost a battle. He was purport to be still on the statute books Idaho: You may not fish from a PLACE NAMES denly get past then the nose dives in. appropriately “canonised” in 2004. He NC PERFORMANCE all around the world. Here are a few camel’s back. To find out why Western Australian It’s not fast enough. It feels flat and he reformed the Russian navy but upset Readers of "Motor" will have devoured from the USA. Iowa: One-armed piano players must towns, shires, suburbs, streets, lakes blames engines calibrated for 91 oc- the upper echelons of the Russian im- the brief report on the new MX-5 driven Alaska: It is an offence to push a play for free. etc are so named click on the website tane fuel. perial administration while doing so and at Wakefield Park race track (a track moose out of a moving plane. Kansas: It is illegal to shoot rabbits below. Check out your suburb name. The gearing is way too short. Sixth was forced to retire in 1807 and died in that some of we old NatMeeters will Arizona: Hunting camels is illegal. from a motor boat. http://www.dli.wa.gov.au/corporate.nsf/ gives 20 mph per thousand revs and 1817 aged 73. remember fondly). Arkansas: A man may legally beat his Maine: It is illegal to step out of a web/WA+Place+Names third is almost redundant. Perhaps George Dubbaya should get Their data puts the MX5 at similar cor- wife but not more than once per plane in flight. Apparently the car feels chunkier and the Pope to make a Saint John Wayne nering speeds to Porsche Boxster, more “polite” in the handling depart- the patron saint of Colt 45s, or Saint Mitsu Evo8 (and thus probably better month. Michigan: It is illegal for a woman to TORNADO RIDER ment. Douglas MacArthur the patron saint of than Rex STi). Very impressive. Florida: Women and the salon owner cut her hair without her husband’s per- Armoured F450 for filming inside torna- This was after the tests in Hawaii and battleships. can be fined for falling asleep under a mission. does. he “suspects” that some changes may It must confuse the hell out of God try- Graeme Martin hair dryer. Missouri: It is NOT illegal to speed. http://www.autoweek.com/article.cms? be made before the Australian release. ing to work out whose side to be on. Florida: An unmarried woman is pro- Montana: Seven or more Native articleId=102748 hibited from parachuting on a Sunday. Americans constitute a raiding party STATISTICS CAR PARK CAPERS Florida: A parking fee must be paid if and it is legal to shoot them. USELESS FACTS In case you missed it there was a little Very slyly the Perth City Council has an elephant is tied to a parking meter. Minnesota: It is illegal to cross state Care of the BBC: http://newsvote.bbc. article in the “West” which stated that changed the name of the Number One Florida: Having sexual relations with a lines with a duck on your head. co.uk/mpapps/pagetools/print/news. one in every four motor vehicle acci- Car Park where our Sunday runs com- porcupine is illegal. (Not to mention bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/ dents in WA happens in a shopping mence, also known as “the usual spot”, painful?...Ed) magazine/4134329.stm

6 15 Around the Club Event Write-ups COMMITTED COMMITTEE the state later this year due to family com- Hermits, Ted Egan, Searchers, Slim Sunday Cruise - Father’s Day Our short drive took us to Hillary’s Boat very nice spot for morning tea which It is said that committees are formed to mitments. Dusty, Cliff Richard, Chad & Jeremy, th “spread the blame” and that one such You can see that some members are do- Beatles, Dr Hook, Frankie Laine, Archies, (4 September) Harbour via a cleverly planned detour gave us our first taste of rain and you body set out to design a horse and fin- ing “double duty” and we may lose a cou- JOK, Homer and Jethro, Rolf Harris, etc Your ever vigilant committee, realising around the back streets of North Beach. can drive through the rain with the top ished up with a camel. Well, your ple of general members later so if you etc all played at full volume. that the September monthly run would Fortunately the car park at Hillary’s was down and not get wet but don’t stop - 2005/2006 Mazda MX-5 club of WA com- have any interest in becoming a commit- OK, so I won’t get many requests for pas- coincide with Father’s Day, decided to relatively quiet for a Sunday morning that’s the catch. mittee has been elected and is ready to tee member please see one of the above sengers and now you understand why I keep the run short and sweet to allow and parking the cars together was easy Morning tea aside we headed up Tood- shoulder the blame and design events for people as soon as possible and be as- come to club runs alone and my kids hate dads to participate in the drive without and quick. yay Rd to Toodyay for a regrouping and another year. The majority have served sured that your assistance will be appreci- my music. As for the rest of the above falling out of favour with the family. As We settled into one of the outdoor eat- the last leg through the Valley to Bulls- on the committee before and are prepared ated. names, I have not heard of most of them the father of a 12-year-old and two 20+ ing areas, and drinks and cakes were brook where we saw plenty of evidence to stay on to see that the club continues to To all of the new committee “Good luck and it appears that only Nina Simone, year olds it was hardly a challenge to ordered and consumed interposed with of the Targa West Rally of the previous function for the benefit of the other club for the coming year” and may all members whom I also have never heard of, is men- juggle the events. Simply wake up early friendly chat, discussions, and camara- weekend. members. Their reward for this is free support and enjoy the upcoming events. tioned by more than one person. so I can eat breakfast in bed lovingly derie. The weather was perfect for sit- I would like to thank those who at- pizza at the monthly committee meetings So let us all drive to our own sound of prepared by the youngest (Ashleigh), ting outside and enjoying the coffee and tended which included prospective new where they try to come up with events that Bob Sharpe, Editor music even if the rest of you have no taste and then be home by noon in time for company, but I had promised to be members who out numbered the exist- will interest and attract a large atten- whatsoever. my mother’s visit, and before the eldest home by 1200 so Ashleigh and I set off ing members. dance. There is not one committee mem- THE GREAT MUSIC SURVEY Bob Sharpe, Editor two to crawl out of their rooms when early and left the group to carry on. We Everyone enjoyed the drive despite the ber who would not stand aside to give There was only one thing that the Great someone else a go at a particular position music Survey told me and that was that NEW CAR SHOW they can smell lunch is ready. arrived home literally seconds before weather and that’s what it is all about. and there is not one committee member MX-5 Club members do not like doing A new car-oriented TV show called “Drive By the time I was ready to leave home Sheila and my mother arrived for lunch, I would like to thank Sandra for giving who would not like to hear the opinions of surveys. The seven responses received TV” will be launched on the 10 network on for the start point I had managed to ex- so perfect timing there. Oh and yes, the me the opportunity to organize the drive other members and pass those on to the were all totally, and I mean totally, differ- the 29th of October and screen on Satur- tract all the breakfast, tea/coffee, and big kids were still in bed and did surface which I enjoyed doing and recommend whole committee. Therefore there is am- ent. What that again shows is that the day afternoons. Based on Britain’s im- gifts I could reasonably get from Ash- when the smell of lunch wafted down to everyone to try it at least once. ple opportunity for anyone at any time to main thing that the members have in com- mensely popular Top Gear and Fifth Gear leigh so she came with me to enjoy the the corridor. become a committee member and the mon is their MX-5. Can you imagine driv- shows, the Oz version will be hosted by morning and explain again to me why I My mother used to say “Many a good Gary Wotzko monthly meetings are open to all mem- ing with the following people and listening motoring writer Michael Stahl. The only couldn’t have breakfast in bed every- thing comes in small parcels”, and San- bers to attend and put forward their views. to the following music. odd thing is that it is being described as a day. dra’s short Sunday drive is another ex- Lancelin Cruise (2nd October 2005) I heard a comment recently that the com- Barry Nash: Rod Stewart, George Mi- low budget show when I believe both Top The run was organized by Sandra Pull- ample of this maxim. Variety is a spice Organised by David and Kathy Masters mittee was informed about what was hap- chael, Kylie, Michael Bublé, Elvis Gear and Fifth Gear have pretty hefty man, and commenced at Car Park No 1 of life, and my opinion is the committee Cruise Stats: pening but the other members were not. Costello, Jimmy Barnes. budgets. Lets hope it is as entertaining as at the usual time. Six MX-5s turned up should consider making the occasional This, despite the newsletter, website, Sandra Pullman: Mostly drives in silence the two British shows. for the drive plus two Elises. I have Sunday drive a short one. Maybe this • 17 MX-5s – 6 red, 5 silver, 2 blue, 1 emails, flyers and minutes. If this view is but sometimes Bruce Springstein, Joe never seen an Elise close up so I had a could become the norm if a drive is on gold, 1 green, 1 black & 1 Monte held by others it should be reported to any Cocker, Ralph McTell. HOT MX-5 good sticky-beak at the yellow and sil- Mother’s or Father’s Day. Carlo Magic (Chameleon) committee member immediately by all Simon Corston: Jaques Loussier, Dave At the last committee meeting it was men- ver versions on display. Whilst I like the • 29 attendees who hold it. Similarly it would be terrific if Brubeck, Nina Simone, Norah Jones, Keb tioned that the new MX-5 will have the you could pass on your ideas about Mo, Dianna Krall, Miles Davis. exhaust on the opposite side, i.e. our driv- look of the car, and I read that they are Alan Wallace • Stops – Gingin & Lancelin events, ways of keeping members inter- Paul Andriessen: Cara Mia by Jay and ers side. Apparently the Yanks have been brilliant on the track, it re-enforced to • Lots of cows ested in the club and attracting members the Americans, Gazza Ladra by Rossini, complaining about hot floors under the me the beauty of the MX-5, which Wildflower Drive • Weather - Early showers clearing to your club. Highway Star by Deep Purple. driver for some time. Maybe it is our turn blends fun and drivability with everyday (SATURDAY 17/09/05) to a fine day. So, your committee for 2005/2006 is; Fay and Wayne Martin: Bryan Adams, now and maybe leg room might be re- practicability. I use my MX-5 as my A bleak weather forecast didn’t deter a PRESIDENT and WEBMASTER: David Spiderbait, Switch by Will Smith, Nathan duced? daily drive car so I need space for few brave souls who turned up at the What a fantastic cruise! And the perfect Turk, VICE-PRESIDENT and NEWSLET- and Nat on Nova. ‘things’. With the Elise, the storage is Midland carpark, eight in all, seven for holiday house in Lancelin for a glorious TER PRODUCTION: Simon Corston, David Turk: U2, Underneath the Radar, THE GOOD GUYS minimal (unless the passenger seat is the drive in five cars and one to see us BBQ lunch. There was plenty of laughs SECRETARY and EVENT CO- Linkin Park, UTI, Grooverider, Jungle It had been proposed at committee level empty). For example, there is nowhere off. and some drama for a few of us but ORDINATOR: Sandra Pullman, TREAS- Brothers, Kruder & Dorfmeister, Hoover- that people who had served on the com- for a slab of beer when out shopping, We set off at 10 am, with tops down. read on and all shall be revealed. URER: Alan Wallace, MOTORSPORT phonic, Roni Size, Fatboy Slim, Aphrodite, mittee for 15 years get free life member- definitely a negative factor. Yes you read correctly, tops down. Instead of the usual Riverside Drive Car MANAGER: Ian Lewis, MEMBERSHIP Kosheen, Rob Dougan, Moby,Scribe, Al- ships to the club. Those who were in line It was pointed out one of the Elise own- Something in the club constitution Park A, we met at the Midland Shop- SECRETARY: Ashley Price, MERCHAN- ter Ego. for this quickly and unanimously rejected ers that Car Park No 1 is actually sign- about neither rain nor sleet nor snow.., ping Centre Car Park on Sunday morn- DISE MANAGER: Les Proctor, NEWS- Kim Page: This bloke would need a semi the proposal on the basis that they did not posted as Car Park A. Obviously the up the Great Eastern Highway to John ing and what a beautiful sight to see a LETTER EDITOR: Bob Sharpe, GEN- to cart his music around. He lists The want other members “subsidising” their numbering system was a bit too com- Forrest National Park which provided large turnout of about 10 cars already ERAL COMMITTEE MEMBERS: Neil Mars Volta, Phonique, The Postal Ser- fees simply because of long service. How- plex so Perth Council had to adopt a us with our first section of scenery and there. As we gathered for the drivers Baker, Robyn Thompsett, Vaughn vice, Groove Armada, Gerling, Crazy Pe- ever life memberships are still able to be Thompsett and Paul Liebich. nis, Nina Simone, Salmonella Dub, Unkle, bestowed at the discretion of the commit- simpler system!!!! A point to remember some spirited driving on the winding (Continued on page 8) It is with great pleasure we welcome the Radiohead, Chemical Brothers, Every- tee if meritable circumstances arise. for future drives. and greasy road thanks to first time committee members Neil Baker thing But The Girl, Jeff Beck, King Crim- Onto the drive. the rain which managed to and Paul Liebich because it takes cour- son, UK, Allan Holdsworth, Neil Larsen, AVOID SPEEDING FINES..... stay away. We left Cark Park 1 (I mean A), and We took a tour through age and goodwill to join any committee Michael Colombier, John McLaughlin. If anyone would like to check the accu- headed through the city and Subiaco that doesn’t offer financial incentives to do Phew! Kim, we need blokes like you in the racy of their speedometer, they're quite Hovea to Twelve Mile Creek toward Perry Lakes. Along Oceanic so. club. I’m not sure why but I’m sure we do. welcome to contact me so that they can where we crossed Toodyay We would also like to thank outgoing com- Anyway none of the above artists are check it with our GPS. drive our team leader Sandra pulled road for our first glimpse of mittee members Andrew Seinor and played on my wireless (I don’t do radios) Please contact Paul on ppjaa@bigpond. over thinking that she was being wildflowers which weren’t in Penelope (“Does it come in red?”) Wil- or even my tape (8 track?) or CD player net.au or 9361-6769 (B) or 9361-9906 (a/ flashed by the entourage behind her to full bloom because of the liamson who gave their time and efforts to so there. The following do rate however : h), or 0409 683 713. stop, when in fact we were merely gloomy weather. Curse you the club last year. We also hope that Beach Boys, Atlantics, Jan & Dean, Roy This is a free offer (of course), you'll just flashing at the oncoming traffic to say God you know how a MX- Robyn and Vaughn Thompsett, club Orbison, any 50’s rock & roll, most 60’s have to make your way to the Kewdale / “G’day, …oh and by the way there’s a 5er loves a good bloom members of the year, who have relin- pop, Nev Nichols, Johnny Cash, Roger Welshpool area. speed camera ahead”. This little misun- bloom! After a 20 km trip quished their specific roles to become Miller, Jimmy Dean, Ray Stevens, any derstanding over, we proceeded to through the Chittering Valley general members, do not have to leave funny songs, Peter & Gordon, Hermans Paul Andriessen West Coast Highway and up the coast. we headed to Noble Falls, a

14 7 Event Write-ups (cont…) First Impressions (Continued from page 7) immobiliser or electrical problem but First drive of the NC Mazda MX-5 briefing, David Masters started to give after a bit of a fiddle, I realised there Well, the buildup from Mazda and also out yellow envelopes with directions for was nothing I could ascertain as I had motoring magazines and journalists, the cruise and an interesting quiz on no multi-meter or any tools that would was overwhelming. “Bethecar” Mazda the cows that we would be able to see allow me to even check the spark said cryptically. “Better than ever” said while driving. Right… plugs. So the decision was made to call some magazines. Who do we believe? the local RAC guy. At this stage it was After eight months of seeing pictures, already 3 or 4 pm. The RAC guy came websites and videos, we finally saw it in and basically after half an hour said that the metal two weeks ago, at the he needed to ring an auto electrician. monthly meeting at Melville Mazda. So now, we had to wait for the local And it looked much better than most of 'sparky' to turn up and half an hour later the pictures had led us to believe. In Back at the house, David (AKA Doctor he arrived. He checked to see that all some ways, it is more reminiscent of Chef) had the BBQ going and there the main systems were getting power the original car, with the flatter bonnet was a wonderful spread of salad & and they were all fine so it pointed to a and boot lid, and simple oval grille. And pasta. Our lunch consisted of some fan- Mazda, while changing so much, have tastic steak, sausages and onions – the somehow retained the look of an MX-5. when cold. The NC box feels much have all been around town. But they food of champions (in my world)! David No mean feat! smoother, with seemingly better syn- could have occurred in the middle of Fair to say, I could not figure out the then announced the winner of the But when you look at the details, it is so chros. nowhere. Space saver wheels aren’t difference between any of the cows but quiz – Penelope Williamson and her different to all previous MX-5s, espe- • Although the handling felt sharp and perfect, but at least they keep you mo- it made me really hungry. We kept with partner Tony. cially inside the cockpit. From behind quick, the car felt somehow a size bile. I remember Ian Lewis crawling the MX-5 convoy, which brought us As part of his acceptance speech, Tony the wheel, it looks and feels as special bigger than ours. This was only back from Wanneroo once on 2 space through some fantastic roads through to also told us the incredible story of their as any German sports car costing twice partly because of the low-set driving savers, when he popped the bead on Gingin where we stopped for some cof- MX-5 soft-top problem. It seems that the incredibly low price that Mazda position (I had the adjustable wheel two tyres at the track. I don’t know if the fee and cake. The spread at the café whenever they put their top down it have announced for the car. Mazda on its lowest setting). Mazda 3 space saver wheel will fit, but I was scrumptious and as we were hav- would not sit down flat in the rear parcel have always had the mechanical/ • Vision out the back was worse, be- would be checking that if I bought an ing our cups of coffee and tea, Tony shelf. Asking Bob Sharpe for his expert electrical build quality to match anything cause of the low seat again, but also NC. And if the full size flat tyre had to duly informed us that he had received a opinion, Bob pointed to something in on the road, but now, they have added the roll hoops and mesh wind blocker stick out of the boot, at least you’re still mobile phone call from Neil Baker and the back of the shelf and said, “ I don’t style and perceived quality, something get in the way. moving! that together with Andrew Painter, they have a half-moon thing in my car… fuel pump problem. that the Germans are very good at. However, in spite of this one gripe, the th • Nice to have a real oil pressure had gone to Riverside Car Park and what’s that?” Tony reached down and At this point the sun was already set- After coming home from the 15 Anni- car is still a great triumph by Mazda. gauge again, though actual numbers wondered where everyone was. Tony with a bit of effort pulled out the offend- ting. So an RAC tow truck was called versary, and still not having driven the But is it really an MX-5? If you ignore would be nice, rather than vague instructed them to meet us in Gingin ing part - a sunglass case. “So there it and we were told he would be coming car, Sandra had secretly arranged to the external similarities, it is totally dif- markings on the dial. and they arrived just as we were start- is! I’ve been looking for that for months” from Balcatta. Right…. So we headed borrow a demo car overnight. After hav- ferent inside, it drives totally differently, ing to leave for Lancelin. With the whole said Penelope. Amidst howls of laugh- back into the house for some coffee ing had three, I suppose we are a likely • The screen pillars are further back it feels very different. Every previous group now together, we headed to our ter and a red-faced sunglasses case and to stay warm. We can now fast for- candidate for another! So when she than before, giving a much wider MX-5 sounds similar - you would know final destination in Lancelin. owner, we finally settled down to our ward to much later and after numerous came home and I saw a silver car in the view through the screen. It almost blindfolded what it was. Not with this coffee and group photo shots. Alvin and calls to RAC, phone patches to the lost garage, I had to look twice before I real- feels like a late-50s wraparound one! Sure, the handling will be brilliant, Lefina were on their last cruise before tow truck driver and one serious com- ized what it was. Ten seconds later, I screen! but that doesn’t make it an MX-5. Has flying to Singapore for work and they plaint, the tow truck driver arrived …at had the keys and was swinging down • With the low seats, I suspect the new Mazda done too good a job of matching were already saying how much they 9 pm!! the drive. smaller, non-swiveling sun visors will the competition? would miss the club and all its mem- We did a fair amount of driving that be rather ineffectual. The car will rightly sell like hot cakes, bers. Max (Penelope’s MX-5) was to be night, including showing it to some MX- • Huge increase in foot room in the and to a much wider range of people. As the event slowly came to an end, dropped off at Wheelspin and Penelope 5 owning friends and ex-Club members. passenger foot well, but slightly off- There is little that anyone could object members started to leave for the drive & Tony would ride with the tow truck. It It was enough to clarify some surprising set pedals for the driver now. to, now that the interior is more roomy. was 10:30 pm by the time I got home. conclusions: back to Perth. As one of the few re- • Brilliant brakes. They have just got But somehow, though I love the car, I’m This brings me to the most important maining, we began to head down to our • It is a totally different car to sit in bigger with every model change. not convinced that it could replace our car. point of the story. The overwhelming from all other MX-5s. The low-set MX-5. This sounds contrary, but most • The much-vaunted central horn but- support and help that our club members seat, differently angled wheel, mod- previous MX-5s had little flaws and ton is far too easy to knock inadver- As we approached the water, we would gave when someone was in trouble ern instruments and high set quirks that seemed to make them more tently - I’ve done it four times, espe- catch glimpses of the endless coastline showed what an amazing club spirit we dashboard are all unique to this personal. The NC is almost perfect, and cially when raising/lowering the roof. which left many of us breathless but have. I personally would like to thank all model, and make the car look and perfection can be almost too good! this was nothing compared to the beau- those that stayed behind to make sure feel quite different. • When driving the car, the over- (There speaks an Italian car enthusi- whelming impression is of a bigger, tiful view that we had once we reached that everything was okay before they • The engine has a unique sound, ast!) much better built and engineered David & Kathy’s beautiful holiday house left. Especially David & Kathy Masters much more characterful than previ- So, Mazda have done it again. The new car. The way the car drives, and the aptly named “Salty Towers”. Once for not only their efforts in organising ously. And does it want to rev! It MX-5 is still a wonderful sports car, and feel and movement of the controls everyone had parked, it was obvious the event but also for staying there till feels much punchier than our 1.8, unmatched for the price. I’m sure we and switches is close to the best lev- what a fantastic view we had, especially late in the evening. with only 5 Kw more, and an extra 20 will see many new members with NCs. els of perceived quality. This is far from the second floor veranda. The Kg to pull. It may be the electronic For existing owners, maybe the answer more than you could expect from a beach was less than a stone’s throw Epilogue – Max was up and running as throttle. is to keep their current MX-5 and buy away and many of us took walks up to soon as the fuel pump was replaced. A car costing just over $41,000. • The six-speed gearbox feels solid an NC as well! As I type this, Sandra is the lookout point. Lancelin Island was Penelope was having problems starting happy ending for all. and well engineered, yet still has a But I think there is a problem. No spare continuing to tell me that she DOES nearby and seemed so close we could her car and so I took a quick look. At slick change. Ours has always felt wheel. We have had three punctures in want a new MX-5. swim across. first the problem seemed to be a simple Leslie Proctor notchy, especially going into 2nd the last three years, and luckily, they Ash Price

8 13 Membership Update Event Write-ups (cont…) Membership Report November 2005 Chris Tidy of Melville Mazda in support- meeting at Mazda, we gave him a vances mean that you now can have a crankshaft nose and also the failure of ing the Club by both joining and being membership form, and he sent it Monthly Get-Together @ Wheelspin handbrake button that you can twist the spark plug leads. The last six to eight weeks have been active on events such as the 15th Anni- straight off to me. He must have been (14th September) one way to make it unlockable and by We were about to finish about 7 pm very hectic at the Mt Pleasant Home for versary day. impressed with what he saw, or maybe September’s get-together was actually twisting it the other way, return the when another new member Glen Mar- Retired MX-5s, with the preparations for Graeme & 1999 Lotus Met Red just couldn’t believe it!? the AGM reconvened at Wheelspin. handbrake to normal locking use. row turned up. He was hoping to get the 15th Anniversary, and the launch of This was due to insufficient numbers for “What on earth do I need this?” – I hear some advice on the incorrect readings Rose Martin Elise Wayne 1994 Mk 1 1.8 Red the all-new NC MX-5 at last. And in be- O’Brien the initial AGM. you say. Well, it would of course only of his new electro-luminescent face di- tween all that, we increased member- Graeme, one of our five remaining The AGM was attended by 13 members be useful to any vehicle owner that als. Motor sport Captain Ian Lewis foundation members, is “temporarily Wayne 1995 Mk 1 1.8 Red ship numbers from 56 to 73. Seow and involved electing a 2005/2006 com- does either Autokhana, Motorkhana, quickly checked another MX-5 speed- between MX-5s”. mittee. The entire meeting was com- Drifting or any motor sports that re- ometer to ascertain that the markings Welcome back to 05 members who Ray Pullen 1991 Mk 1 LE Neo I met both Waynes for the first time on pleted in 45 minutes and was very pre- quires the use of the handbrake to com- were indeed different. have recently rejoined: Green the Pasta Run to Freo - same name, cise. Some of my concerns were that plete a very tight elbow turn. With a I then advised Glen that AISAT could A warm welcome to these brand new virtually the same cars, this could have some of our committee members have quick flick of the wrist, you will never correctly recalibrate his instruments Sue Dawes 2001 Mk3 Silver been tricky! Luckily, they are both very Peter Hall 2005 SP23 Yellow Club members: two roles as no one else has volun- accidentally leave your handbrake up with the new face dials. AISAT are the Kim and 1990 Mk 1 Mariner different, and both enthusiastic about teered for certain positions. I certainly after completing the tight turn. Gone is WA distributors for VDO gauges and Peter had to reluctantly sell his Mk 1 Rhonda Hardy Blue their car and the Club. hope that club members realise the that feeling of “…why is my car so slow Terratrip Rally computers. AISAT can Mariner Blue car, because Candy, his Wanneroo Mazda have joined the Club Kim and Rhonda have bought Peter amount of effort that the committee put …doh!!!” ensure your instrumentation is cali- Old English sheepdog, (the Club’s unof- as a new member; so far, they haven’t in every year to organise and plan Drift buttons are made by CUSCO Ja- brated to read correctly so you do not ficial canine mascot) found it difficult to Hall’s old car, though not directly from been able to attend an event, but I have Peter, and are thrilled with it. Until re- events. pan and are available for $55 at Wheel- get photographed thinking you are on jump up onto the back shelf, due to ad- a contact there (who is currently driving The recent 15th Anniversary is one such spin. Contact them on Tel no. 9470- or below the speed limit when you are vancing dog-years. He assures me that cently, Kim was founder and leading an NC!) and I’m sure they will be get- light of the Datsun Fairlady Car Club example that shows the tremendous 5300. actually over. AISAT can be contacted the minute the metal folding roof ver- ting more involved soon. time and effort put in by committee via telephone number: 9350-5545. sion of the NC comes out, he’ll be driv- (hands up, those who don’t know what And a returnee from some years ago: a Fairlady is?) He has now seen the members. I hope that the event will en- Monthly Get-Together @ Wheelspin This was another simple and efficient ing one, and Candy will be his faithful Andrew Wong 1998 Mk 2 Red courage more members to come for- (12th October) solution that was easily solved by the navigator. light, and moved forward by around 30 years in technology. Perhaps he might Andrew, and partner Lisa, are well ward to help when the club needs them. Another regular get-together after work vast knowledge that exists in the club. I Rob Gray 1999 Mk2 Innocent write a piece about this Japanese two- known to many members - Andrew was Remember that you only get out what has held at Wheelspin and it was nice encourage all MX-5 owners as well as Blue seater roadster from the 60’s, which an enthusiastic member for some years you put in. With this in mind, please to see new members Kim Hardy & Pe- club members to come along for these Jacqueline 1995 Mk 1 Limited Ed could be seen as the closest Japanese in the late 90s, and was Member of the approach any of the committee mem- ter Hall there to share in the experience ‘get-togethers’ as it is an excellent and Eamer Dark Blue predecessor in spirit to the MX-5. Year, before moving, first to Sydney, bers if you are able to help. of owning a MX-5. The discussion cen- informal way to learn more about your then Kuala Lumpur. Now permanently Now to a more serious issue – “Drift tred on the usual problems of the NA6 MX-5. Great to see Jacqueline back, with her John 2002 Mk 3 Black back here, I’m sure we’ll see them Buttons”. Amazing technological ad- models such as the worn keyway in the unique, specially imported Japanese Anderton Leslie Proctor Limited Edition car. regularly, in Andrew’s very hot Turbo. John came along to a monthly Club Paul Lawrence of Jason Mazda, joined Ashley Price Special Notices want roll bars with greater structural Style Bars strength that meet CAMS approval, you SPECIAL CLUB WEEKEND and always at a magically good A couple decide to go for a meal and, can get them but the cost is significantly DOWN SOUTH price. This year we are planning to after some deliberation, settle for their Style Bars for the MX-5 higher and less convenient as far as the FEB 2006 - RESERVE YOUR fit in a sociable welcome BBQ, and local Chinese restaurant. They peruse the menu and finally agree on the soft-top with a glass rear window is SPOT NOW! a trip to the local Dolphin Centre. chef's special ‘Chicken Surprise'. One of the great things about the MX-5 concerned. See the flier enclosed with this aftermarket support is that there are a The waiter brings over the meal, which I did a bit of asking around and found If you came on any of the previous newsletter for the deadline for ex- is served in a lidded, cast iron pot. lot of choices of where to go and get that Mazda Mania (NSW) had style the accessory you want. Even though MX-5 weekends away in the Bun- pressions of interest; contact the Just as the wife is about to start on the bars available. They offer a few types totype design with some improvements. bury region organised by club mem- Dennis and Maree on court- meal, the lid of the pot rises by a tiny we are somewhat isolated in Perth it is with the Racing Beat Type 2 style bars During the fitting of the roll bar Les dis- possible to buy online from the US, the bers Dennis and Maree Courtney, [email protected] for more infor- amount and she briefly sees two beady the closest to my needs. They are cur- covered that due to the different wind- eyes looking out before the lid slams UK and even our own Eastern states. I then you will know how fantastic mation. rently asking $935. On top of the pur- break on the SE (thicker because of the back down. had decided after seeing different style chase price there would be the addi- speakers) they had to have the wind- they are and you'll want to buy a "Good grief, did you see that?" she bars on a number of members’ cars tional cost to have them fitted ($120 break raked back at an angle. Despite 2006 diary straightaway and block ROAD RULES asks her husband. that this was to be my next purchase for according to Mazda Mania). This would that, I have found no discernable differ- out February 24/25/26!! This is On a freeway, a person shall not He didn't, so she asks him to look in the my MX-5 SE. I was looking for an en- bring the price to $1055. So I asked ence in the amount of wind when driv- when we are planning another drive more than 20km/h below the pot. He reaches for it - and again the lid hanced look to the car as well as that around the club and ended up talking to ing at speed. I am extremely happy with Courtney special". speed limit, unless traffic conges- rises and the two beady eyes look out additional safety factor if the worst were Les Proctor of Wheelspin. At the time the looks of the roll bar and I feel that tion or any other reason makes it and the lid slams back down. to happen. I must point out that if you Les was developing his own prototype they offer me an enhanced safety factor The husband is clearly perturbed: he For those of you who haven't man- unsafe to do so. Penalty $50. style bars for his MX-5 SP. Les in the event of a rollover. An additional calls the waiter over, explains what is indicated that he could build bonus is that the style bars add to the aged to join us for this weekend of happening and demands an explana- and fit the roll bars and guaran- cars rigidity. Most importantly I can get mini-rallies, country drives to spots Drivers will incur Double Demerit tion. tee the use of high grade my roof up and down with ease even that only the locals know about, Points if caught drink driving, "Well, sir" says the waiter, "what did stainless steel and the quality of with the glass window. You can make plus suberb meals and other spe- speeding, failing to wear a seatbelt you order?" the welding. All this and fitted up your own mind about the look from cial treats - then make sure you re- (including passengers) or carrying "'We both chose the same" he replies. for $650. Soon after that I de- the photos and if you have any ques- serve your place as soon as possi- passengers in the open load space "Chicken surprise." cided to place an order with tions feel free to ask me next time you "Oh, I do apologise, sir. This is my fault" ble not to miss out. of a vehicle, on all long weekends, says the waiter. Les, who was in the process of see me or talk to Les of Wheelspin. This is a quality event in the club starting midnight the night before a getting an order for 25 to be calendar - well organised, good fun, long weekend (Thursday). manufactured based on his pro- Simon Corston "I've brought you peeking duck".

12 9 Photos from 15th Anniversary Event Humour Us SECRETS OF A PERFECT RELA- A reporter interviewed a 104-year-old The doctor said, "I didn't say that! I said, TIONSHIP woman: "And what do you think is the 'You've got a heart murmur. Be care- best thing about being 104?" ful.'" 1. It's important to have a woman who "No peer pressure." helps at home, who cooks from GAY ROOSTER time to time, cleans up and has a The nice thing about being senile is you A farmer goes out one day and buys a job. can hide your own Easter eggs. brand new stud rooster for his chicken 2. It's important to have a woman who coop. The new rooster struts over to the can make you laugh. Just before the funeral services, the old rooster and says, "OK, old fart, time 3. It's important to have a woman who undertaker came up to the very elderly for you to retire." you can trust and who doesn't lie to widow and asked, "How old was your The old rooster replies, "Come on, you. husband?" surely you cannot handle ALL of these 4. It's important to have a woman who "98," she replied. "Two years older than chickens. Look what it has done to me. is good in bed and who likes to be me." Can't you just let me have the two old with you. "So you're 96," the undertaker com- hens over in the corner?" 5. It's very, very important that these mented. The young rooster says, "Beat it: You four women don't know each other. She responded, "Hardly worth going are washed up and I am taking over." home is it?" The old rooster says, "I tell you what, HOOKERS young stud. I will race you around the A lady goes to her priest one day and A 97-year-old man goes into his doc- farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the ex- tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I tor's office and says, "Doc, I want my clusive domain over the entire chicken Peter Hall, Candy & Ian Lewis have two female parrots, but they only sex drive lowered." coop." know how to say one thing." "Sir", replied the doctor, "you're 97. The young rooster laughs. "You know Peter Randell Presidential address "What do they say?" the priest inquired. Don't you think your sex drive is all in you don't stand a chance old man. So, They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you your head?" just to be fair I will give you a head want to have some fun?" "You're darned right it is!" said the old start." "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed. man. "That's why I want it lowered!" The old rooster takes off running. About Then he thought for a moment. "You 15 seconds later the young rooster know," he said, "I may have a solution An elderly woman in Brooklyn decided takes off running after him. They round to your problem. I have two male talking to prepare her will and make her final the front porch of the farmhouse and parrots, which I have taught to pray and requests. She told her rabbi she had the young rooster has closed the gap. read the Bible. Bring your two parrots two final requests. First, she wanted to He is already about five inches behind over to my house, and we'll put them in be cremated and second, she wanted the old rooster and gaining fast. the cage with Francis and Peter. My her ashes scattered throughout Bloom- The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his parrots can teach your parrots to praise ingdales. "Bloomingdales?" the rabbi usual spot on the front porch when he Tasty MX-5 and worship, and your parrots are sure exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" sees the roosters running by. He grabs David & Karen Hughes A happy crowd to stop saying that phrase in no time." "Then I know my daughters will visit me his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the "Thank you," the woman responded, twice a week." young rooster to bits. "this may very well be the solution." The farmer sadly shakes his head and The next day, she brought her female Three old guys are out walking. First says, "Dammit... third gay rooster I parrots to the priest's house. one says, "Windy, isn't it?" bought this month." As he ushered her in, she saw that his Second one says, "No, it’s Thursday!" Moral of this story.... Don't mess with two male parrots were inside their cage Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a the OLD FARTS - age and treachery holding rosary beads and praying. beer." will always overcome youth and skill! Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them. A man was telling his neighbour, "I just THE STORK After a few minutes, the female parrots bought a new hearing aid. It cost me The teacher was telling the kids about cried out in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! four thousand dollars, but it's state of the birds and the bees. She explained Do you want to have some fun?" the art. It's perfect!" that when a man and a woman meet There was stunned silence. "Really?" answered the neighbour. and fall in love, nine months later the MX-5 NC (“Nice Car”) Start your engines Shocked, one male parrot looked over "What kind is it?" stork usually brings them a little baby. at the other male parrot and exclaimed, "Twelve thirty." Little Johnny at the back of the class "Put the beads away, Frank. Our puts his hand up and asks the teacher, prayers have been answered." Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the “Are you sure about the stork miss? doctor to get a physical. A few days Cos my sister just got a little baby and THE JOYS OF GETTING OLD later the doctor saw Morris walking she said it was from a shag at the I felt like my body had gotten totally out down the street with a gorgeous young beach.!!!” of shape, so I got my doctor's permis- woman on his arm. A couple of days sion to join a fitness club and start exer- later the doctor spoke to Morris and FUNNY SIGNS cising. I decided to take an aerobics said, "You're really doing great, aren't Outside a muffler shop: "No appoint- class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gy- you?" ment necessary! We hear you coming" rated, jumped up and down, and per- Morris replied, "Just doing what you spired for an hour. But by the time I got said, Doc: 'Get a hot mama and be Outside a Chicago radiator shop: my leotard on, the class was over. cheerful.'" "Best place in town to take a leak." Pre-start catch up NC getting the “once over” Ladies at lunch

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