Extramarital Sexuality, Monogamy, and Mate Poaching: Evolutionary and Societal Forces That Define Sexual Behaviors and Roles for Men and Women
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The Review: A Journal of Undergraduate Student Research Volume 8 Article 9 2006 Extramarital Sexuality, Monogamy, and Mate Poaching: Evolutionary and Societal Forces that Define Sexual Behaviors and Roles for Men and Women Jason Northrup St. John Fisher College, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: https://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/ur Part of the Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies Commons How has open access to Fisher Digital Publications benefited ou?y Recommended Citation Northrup, Jason. "Extramarital Sexuality, Monogamy, and Mate Poaching: Evolutionary and Societal Forces that Define Sexual Behaviors and Roles for Men and Women." The Review: A Journal of Undergraduate Student Research 8 (2006): 43-49. Web. [date of access]. <https://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/ur/ vol8/iss1/9>. This document is posted at https://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/ur/vol8/iss1/9 and is brought to you for free and open access by Fisher Digital Publications at St. John Fisher College. For more information, please contact [email protected]. Extramarital Sexuality, Monogamy, and Mate Poaching: Evolutionary and Societal Forces that Define Sexual Behaviors and Roles for Men and Women Abstract Through the discussion of prevalence of extramarital sexuality (EMS), jealousy, domestic violence, monogamy, marriage, evolutionary theories, and mate poaching, a theme emerges as human sexuality finds a medium between social and cultural constructs and evolutionary constructs within the context of male and female differences. It is suggested that mate poaching has transpired due to monogamy and marriage being the defining factors of human sexual relations where needs are not being met. Also, there exists several significantly diverse sexual roles and behaviors between males and females. Men are more interested in sexual novelty and variety, whereas women are more interested in long-term relationships as assurance of a resource supply for offspring. This article is available in The Review: A Journal of Undergraduate Student Research: https://fisherpub.sjfc.edu/ur/ vol8/iss1/9 Northrup: Extramarital Sexuality, Monogamy, and Mate Poaching Extramarital Sexuality, Monogamy, and Mate Poaching: Evolutionary and Societal Forces that Define Sexual Behaviors and Roles for Men and Women Jason Northrup Abstract A study by Liu (2000) suggested that marital Through the discussion of prevalence of duration is an important factor in the prevalence of extramarital sexuality (EMS), jealousy, domestic extramarital sexuality. Men showed a decrease in violence, monogamy, marriage, evolutionary EMS for the first 18-20 years of a marriage, and a theories, and mate poaching, a theme emerges as gradual increase in EMS after 20 years of human sexuality finds a medium between social marriage. Women showed a steady decline in and cultural constructs and evolutionary constructs EMS as the length of the marriage increased. This within the context of male and female differences. suggests that women are more focused on long- It is suggested that mate poaching has transpired term mating, whereas men may devote a certain due to monogamy and marriage being the defining amount of time to long-term mating, but later factors of human sexual relations where needs are refocus their attention towards short-term mating. not being met. Also, there exists several In a study by Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobsen significantly diverse sexual roles and behaviors (2001), it was found that for respondents who between males and females. Men are more made over $30,000 a year, EMS had a positive interested in sexual novelty and variety, whereas correlation with income. Also, in couples who women are more interested in long-term reported one spouse working out of the home and relationships as assurance of a resource supply for the other staying within the home, there were offspring. higher rates of EMS. By spending more time outside of the home, there was more interaction Introduction with more people. It was also be concluded that Extramarital sexuality is generally regarded as people who work outside of the home may have to involving sexual activity with a person outside of travel and attend more social functions, allowing an established relationship. It is important to for the possibility of meeting someone with whom discuss theories, rates, and concepts of EMS may be performed. extramarital sexuality because it can help to People who reported being "not too happy" identify models of human behavior and human within their marriage were found to be four times sexuality. Marriage and monogamy are social more likely to report EMS than people who constructs that have been created that seem to defy responded "very happy" (Atkins et al., 2001). This notions of evolution and the purpose of human study also reported that there was a negative sexuality. Evolutionary theories and mate correlation with the age at which a person was poaching, defined as actively luring people out of married and EMS. This would make sense since already established relationships, work to someone who was married at the age of 20 would undermine marriages and monogamy in an attempt have more time to partake in EMS than someone to return to the main purpose of human sexuality who was married at the age of 30. Also, people as a means of procreation. who are married younger may be more socially and emotionally immature; their relationships may Prevalence and Types of Extramarital be immature as well, and development may still be Sexuality taking place (Atkins et al., 2001). Extramarital With divorce rates increasing, it is important to sexuality may be an outlet for the development of identify some trends that exist within the confines social and emotional functioning at the cost of of marriage and extramarital sexuality. In terms of damaging an already existing relationship. prevalence of extramarital sexuality (EMS), rates The importance of fidelity within a marriage seem to hover around 25% for men and 15% for has significantly shifted. The toleration of women. For men, rates of EMS increase with age, infidelity has increased since the middle part of the whereas women show an increase in EMS 20lh century (Larson, 1988). One study showed between the ages of 30 and 50 (Widermann, that there was a drastic decrease in the role of 1997). fidelity as central to a marriage (1988). 43 Published by Fisher Digital Publications, 2006 1 The Review: A Journal of Undergraduate Student Research, Vol. 8 [2006], Art. 9 Longitudinal research conducted during the latter gang-bangs, threesomes, and swinging (Lawson, half of the 20th century showed a significant 1988). decline in fidelity being a large part of the foundation of an intimate relationship or marriage Monogamy and Marriage (1988). Marriage is essentially defined as being In order to understand EMS, it is important to monogamous. A man is faithful to his wife and distinguish and define the different forms. Lawson vice-versa. Monogamy demands exclusivity (1988) proposes three types of EMS: parallel, (Barash & Lipton, 2001). Extramarital sexuality traditional, and recreational. These are meant to be occurs because of the social creation of marriage a general guide for identifying types of EMS and in which there is supposed to be one male for what implications may be imminent for the future every female. For males, the idea of monogamy of a relationship. The information required in suggests monotony (2001). Using EMS prevalence order to create these definitions was compiled information from Widermann (1997), Liu (2000), from many qualitative and quantitative studies, and Atkins, Baucom, & Jacobsen (2001), it seems including many personal interviews. as though males crave novelty and variety, and Parallel adultery involves a mistress or a marriage is the direct opposite of those needs. concubine (Lawson, 1988). This type of EMS Within monogamy, two types of love can be seems to be more conducive to evolutionary identified: masculine and feminine (Lawson, perspectives, since it can involve one man and 1988). These two types of love may be largely several women. The idea of a "kept" woman socially created, but are relatively descriptive of seems more appealing to men (1988). In this type the roles men and women play within a marriage. of EMS, the wife may choose to ignore it, rather Masculine love, also referred to as instrumental than protest. However, this may actually appeal to love, is characterized by supplying resources like wives since they can be more "adventurous" and money, food, and shelter, which is related to a be more independent while being supported by her general theme of looking after the family. husband (Lawson, 1988). The man may be getting Feminine styles of love are portrayed as actively his sexual fulfillment from another woman, expressing feelings of love that provide essential leaving the wife to enjoy a supported lifestyle elements of intimacy and comfort (1988). without being obligated to have sex with her The construct of monogamy relies heavily on husband. the idea of egalitarianism (Barash & Lipton, Traditional adultery defines EMS as being a 2001). When one partner commits an act of EMS, direct breach of a marriage. In the traditional it causes an imbalance in the relationship. sense, the man's role within a marriage involves Egalitarianism, which is essential to marriage and power; he is the protector and provider. Within a any intimate relationship, is partially destroyed marriage, the woman supplies nurturance and care. through cheating behavior (2001). When this Traditional adultery is often regarded as the most imbalance occurs, it is also important to identify dangerous and detrimental form of adultery since jealousy and the effect it may have on the future of it is so secretive, both for men and women. a relationship. However, within the traditional type of EMS, women may be granted more power since their Jealousy and Domestic Violence within role may not consist of nurturance and care, but Extramarital Sexuality may be the direct result of hedonism or seeking Duncombe, Harrison, Allan, & Marsden (2004) pleasure (Lawson, 1988).