ABCDQ: Which Is Iraq?*

MARCH 23, 2007 | WWW.REPORTERMAG.COM

Q: Which is Iraq?*

CHECK YOUR ANSWER PG. 23 *Not to scale. Editorial

Not an Exit

EDITOR IN CHIEF Casey Dehlinger Tucked beneath the belly of the SAU, hiding in a tangle of pipes below Ingle Auditorium, rests one SENIOR EDITORS Jen Loomis, J.S. Ost of the most unsightly places you could imagine. This acoustic nightmare of perpetually exhaling ventilation ducts, white-painted concrete, and a raked ceiling has become an adopted home of sorts, NEWS EDITOR David Spiecker for myself and many before me. LEISURE EDITOR Laura Mandanas FEATURES EDITOR Adam Botzenhart You wouldn’t think they’d come back, but they do. The former editors always fi nd their way to the SPORTS/VIEWS EDITOR Chad Carbone offi ce when I’m around, and the fi rst thing out of their mouths when they reenter unannounced, after hiatuses spanning upwards of 20 years, is “this place really doesn’t change.” Sure, the furniture is WRITERS Tony Castillo, Chris Cesarano, Veena Chatti, different, the darkroom is now home to archives spanning back over 55 years, and the layout tablets Casey Dehlinger, Laura Mandanas, Evan McNamara, have been replaced by iMacs, but there’s something inherently the same in its harsh fl uorescent Ryan Metzler, Govind Ramabadran, Alex Salsberg, lighting and its reclusive subterranean location. Geoff Shearer There are no windows here, so there is no time. I’ve had instances where 9 p.m. quickly became

Art 4 a.m. There have been times when I’ve watched 2007 become 1969 as former editors point and narrate; storytellers, one and all. We brag about the things we got away with. One didn’t hear a peep ART DIRECTOR Josh Gomby when she ran a photo of her having sex with her boyfriend, printed as a wrap-around landscape cover STAFF DESIGNERS Michelle Brook, in black and white. Another that ran a nude woman wrapped in a “bunting” had charges ﬁ led against Mariola Costa him (he denies to this day that it was an American ﬂ ag). Some of them repent, like the woman who HOUSE DESIGNER Jeff Chiappone ran a fake ad for “Beaver Liquor” on the back of an April Fool’s edition; others still can’t for the life CONTRIBUTING ILLUSTRATORS of them understand what all the fuss was about. Greg Caggiano, Alex Salsberg, Erin Wengrovius, Bryan Williams Not all of their accomplishments were nudity controversies, though. This one changed Reporter to CARTOONIST Alex Salsberg magazine format; that one made it weekly. Another gave Reporter color, then some other editor put it on the world wide web. This one met his future wife (current divorcee) at that desk, and that one

Photo got punched by a jealous boyfriend in this corner (he ran a photo of the pugilist’s girlfriend ﬂ ashing

PHOTO EDITOR Dave Londres the photographer at an underwater fashion show). Okay, so most of their accomplishments were nudity controversies. STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Matt Bagwell, Ryan Randolph, CoCo Walters Some have gone on to succeed. One became a publisher and boasts that he recently had a lawsuit ﬁ led against him for several million dollars. He warns that journalism is a ﬁ ne profession, Production so long as you don’t hold money too dearly. No matter how prosperous they are, though, they always PRODUCTION MANAGER John Carew come back. PRINTING Printing Applications Lab I’m generally not sentimental, but their returning motivates me, giving me the casual subliminal Business reminder that this will mean something to me, and that I will return someday. And when I do? PUBLIC RELATIONS Kayla Himelein I can show some sleepless twenty-something the couch where I napped one night because my car AD MANAGER Geo Kartheiser broke down on the way back from a journalism conference and that I got to see Bill Clinton and the BUSINESS MANAGER Akira Simizu Dalai Lama and made Reporter glow and fold out and play music. And you know what? I put twenty nudes on the cover. CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE Kyle O’Neill

I’ll tell that constantly caffeinated individual that there is a place that resides behind a door hiding Online in the corner of the archives. There are two signs on it. One says, “Emergency Exit: Do Not Block” ONLINE EDITOR Erhardt Graeff the other says “Not an Exit.” It’s a dank and foreboding space, reaching up into darkness, full of vents and pipes, covered in dust. The old editors tell me that they would climb up into it and play as Advisor if it were some macabre playground. The door leading to this place was locked off before I knew it Rudy Pugliese existed, but thanks to my predecessors, I can see it just ﬁ ne.

Contact The luckiest of us have found theses places: dwellings where we can ﬁ t in, no matter how stressful

MAIN 585.475.2212 the circumstances. We all need a place like this. No matter how dreary.

EMAIL [email protected] ADVERTISING 585.475.2213

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Casey Dehlinger Editor in Chief Table of Contents

March 23, 2007 | Vol. 56, Issue 22 Letters 4 Letters to the Editor 15 At Your Leisure A Rashomon of responses to last Unjumble the Greek Gods before week’s Views article about Lisa they chain you atop Caucasus. Lampanelli. Features News 16 Four Years Later: 7 Game Design The War in Iraq and Development A recap of the Iraq War thus far Making video games isn’t all and current RIT opinions and jumping on goombas, but now perceptions of a future resolution. RIT offers a degree program to train a new generation of 20 Iraq War Support Miyamotos. A comparison of National and RIT perceptions of the war in Iraq 8 Global Warming: over time. Walking on Thin Ice As waters rise, Mark Bowen talks 23 Word on the Street about the potential Atlantisian Can RIT students identify Iraq? fate of our planet. Sports 9 RIT Forecast 24 Sports Desk What do you want to do this Men’s Lacrosse starts their week? season off strong.

9 SG Senate Update 26 Winter Sports Wrap-Up Few remained neutral when the Part II sensitive issue of parking put SG Rundowns of the into drive. accomplishments of Swimming and Diving, Track and Field, and Leisure Wrestling this Winter. 11 Harlem Shakes Harlem Shakes deﬁ nes Views mediocrity with their ﬁ ve-song EP, 30 RIT Rings Burning Birthdays. Who ya gonna call?

11 Wario: The Master of 31 Celebrity Worship Disguise To think that you’ve been praying Wario goes incognito to collect to the wrong Madonna all this treasure in this new Nintendo DS time; tisk, tisk. release.

12 Cooking With Alex: For the Lazy Gourmet Ryan Snyder, a second year Applied For fabulous foodstuffs in a ﬂ ash, Networking and Systems Administra- look to this guide for throwing tion major, rings a bell during Alpha together a variety of quirky Phi Omega's Shanty Town fundraiser college vittles. for the Salvation Army. Photography by Matt Bagwell.

Reporter Magazine is published weekly during the academic year by a staff comprised of students at Rochester Institute of Technology. Business, Editorial, and Design facilities are located in Room A-426, in the lower level of the Student Alumni Union. Our voice/TTY line is 585.475.2212. The Advertising Department can be reached at 585.475.2213. The opinions expressed in Reporter do not necessarily reﬂ ect those of the Institute. Q: “Are you hyperventilating?” A: “I’m beatboxing, you idiot.” Letters to the Editor may also be sent to [email protected]. Reporter is not responsible for materials presented in advertising areas. No letters will be printed unless signed. All letters received become the property of Reporter. Reporter takes pride in its membership in the Associated Collegiate Press and American Civil Liberties Union. Copyright © 2005 Reporter Magazine. All rights reserved. No portion of this Magazine may be reproduced without prior written permission. Letters to the Editor

Reporter, maintain the highest levels of integrity, and with- While we are on this spree, let’s try something This missive is in response to the letter that Ms. out them, RIT would be a much drearier place. for a moment. I want the author of the Lisa Lam- Maulding sent to Reporter—published in the panelli article to count for me how many times 2/23 issue—expressing indignation at the publi- Sincerely, he has ever said “fag”, laughed at a black joke, cation of the Sexuality Issue. David Blonski and called something gay. I think we will fi nd this Vice-President man is not only a terrible author, but also a hypo- I mostly take umbrage to her use of the phrase Student Government crite as well. In any event, he certainly sounds “as an alumnus” in her conservative and biologi- like the prime author for this article when he is cally negligent view of that magazine because, The following letter quotes racial slurs telling me to fuck myself. as an alumnus, I took great pride in its publica- used by comedians who have performed tion. I think it is a fi ne and noble goal to speak to at RIT. Readers sensitive to such terms Listen, college is about freedom of thought. one of the more repressed and misunderstood should refrain from reading this letter. If someone wants to tell me Germans are hate- fundamental aspects of human nature. The issue ful heartless creatures, France is nothing but a tackled modern ideas of sexuality in a modern Response to the Lisa Lampanelli Article, homosexual crock-pot of Europe, and Americans light. None of that denial crap that we’re used to First off, no I will not “fuck myself”. Secondly, let are internationally ignorant capitalist bastards, seeing from past generations, with a notable ex- me offer this: You claim RIT cannot allow such go for it. It’ll make for a good debate. Now, ception of “free love” reigning for a short time. an ignorant individual on this campus. I suggest if someone wants to ban people from saying anyone who takes comedians' comments seri- things on this campus, I suggest you move to a It is my opinion that sexuality is one of the ously is not only ignorant, but is the very reason place when you can be spoon-fed your thoughts biggest drives humanity has. I am also of the racism is still an issue in modern society. Lisa and views. You mention voting as a good thing; opinion that societal pressures keep it caged says, “Deaf students could just be retarded and voting is our ability to express our opinions. and ignored. Bravo for even taking the fi rst steps they are trying to sneak by saying they are deaf.” Now then, let her express hers. You don’t agree? toward engaging the public in a discourse or Last time I checked, deaf students did the very Fine. Don’t go. But stop contradicting yourself. even suggesting that perhaps sexuality ought same work as me in my classes. Furthermore, I to be thought about differently. Or just thought would go so far as to suggest they do in your And for God’s sake, if you are going to cen- about, period. But you did more than that; classes as well. Knowing this, why are you of- sor the rest of this magazine, censor this pasty you provided responsible, valuable information fended by her comments? You are taking a co- young chap as well. and encouraged that people be responsible medic statement with no basis and not just hon- in their own actions. All in all, I thought the oring its existence but giving it credibility. This is Cheers! “controversial” topic was handled with a contem- not a philosophy professor; it is a comedian. Ben Roux porary grace. Software Engineering 2009 Last year, Carlos Mencia came to RIT and used Anyway, keep up the good work. such terms as “nigger”, “sand nigger”, “wet- Dear Casey and Reporter Staff, Krister Rollins backs”, “spic”, and many more. You want to know The piece featured in last week’s issue entitled Film/Video the response to such actions? A standing ova- “Bigotry Does Not Fall on Deaf Ears” has stirred Alumnus 2006 tion. Mencia’s main point for the four hours he controversy, criticism and negative feelings entertained RIT students with racial comments toward The College Activities Board and the Dear Reporter, and stereotypes was simple: people who make arrival of our major comedian, Lisa Lampanelli. In regards to the article in “Views” in your 3/16 racial remarks are one thing, but people who This is in response to that section, the com- issue, I think it’s important to recognize the ser- give them credibility is another. ments made by members of the student body, vice the College Activities Board (CAB) pro- and a citation of inaccuracies identifi ed. I believe vides to RIT. CAB is not an institutional organiza- Racial/religious jokes are nothing more than that this piece was done in poor taste, inciting tion, but a student group dedicated to providing perpetual stereotypes exploited and blown out biased and avoidable confl ict, with limited ability diverse entertainment to the RIT Community. of proportion. Racial/religious labels or slurs are to respond by CAB, the Center for Campus Life, The students in CAB work tirelessly and are role only as offensive as you want them to be. This is and Student Government. models for what student leaders on this campus no different. Furthermore, if you want to look at should do. defi nitions of words, “retarded” literally means The Reporter has a responsibility to uphold, and stunted development or progress. Helen Keller I speak for not only CAB, but countless other CAB is used to their events being criticized was physically retarded, agreed? Born paraple- Major Student Organizations, Greek Organiza- (it’s the nature of the business), but to be faced gics are as well. See where this is going? Yeah, tions, and clubs that have grown weary of what with personal attacks can only be described as you get the point. is an increasing trend in the level of quality of a shame and a travesty. The students at CAB your work.

4 LETTERS Many readers had little indication that last CAB, its staff members, and I are committed to prepare their opinion side by side with other’s week’s article was an opinion piece and accord- providing a diverse spectrum of entertainment statements while we are only subject to playing ing to Reporter, did not refl ect the organization’s and programming to what we all consider a ma- “defense” in later issues. views. Opinion and editorial sections in any no- ture and informed student body. Not everyone Robert Yee table news publication are clearly identifi ed in will enjoy or approve of every event; however, Director of CAB order for readers to differentiate between fact we as an organization hope that students and and one’s views. Your section was neither explic- faculty understand that there is a difference be- Dear Editor, itly identifi ed nor was there a note indicating that tween an entertainer and someone who is asked I wanted to respond to the Views piece in the what was to follow would be based heavily on to inform or lecture. Lisa Lampanelli is a come- March 16 issue and the discussion that oc- personal views. Furthermore, the various points dian and her brand of humor needs to be taken curred at the SG Senate meeting that followed. of view are not given equal exposure, failing to with a grain of salt. The dialogue quoted last I believe that the article titled, “Bigotry Does Not provide the reader with an appropriate basis for week was taken out of context of the conversa- Fall on Deaf Ears,” may have been personally debate. There was no effort made to get an opin- tion. The attitude and tone of both Lisa and the insulting to CAB, however I believe that Reporter ion of CAB or a supporter. DJs were not adequately represented, sounding has the right and responsibility to produce the more combative and hostile rather than a brief Views section. Though the positioning of the Matt Shand was quick to fi re judgment, labeling joke in her routine. article on the reverse side of CAB’s adver- Lampanelli’s remarks as insensitive and “igno- tisement for Lisa Lampanelli seems awkward, rant”. Interestingly, Shand’s opinion has since It’s a comedian’s role to poke fun, make us un- I recognize that the Views section is always come under growing scrutiny, as his views comfortable, and laugh. Lisa Lampanelli’s humor on the last page of the magazine and expect toward another segment of our society would should not be taken as propaganda but instead to fi nd the section there. Even without a large be considered in his own words as: “immoral, like a modern-day Archie Bunker. Her character section title, I believe that regular readers of the indecent and inappropriate.” It is worth noting addresses all of the issues and stereotypes we Reporter know that the last page is always used that shortly after word of this, Shand’s Facebook are too scared or sensitive to. When you leave for opinionated and biased articles intended to profi le and the groups in which he is a part of one of her shows, you become more sensitive. provoke discussion in the student body. I believe have been made private. A writer’s integrity She does not alienate one group, but instead her that Reporter, in order to be an effective MSO, is tantamount−if not more important−than what act treats all of us as equals, which is what we needs to capture an audience and understand they write. should all believe. that one way of doing this is by publishing controversial pieces. Nevertheless, an opinion, regardless of the It seems that Reporter is becoming less informa- position, should be formed based on fact and tive of campus news and increasingly selective Continue publishing in excellence, should accurately refl ect an understanding of in what it chooses to print and why. CAB’s most Kate Dyson the situation as a whole. Shand failed to note recent major concert, Lupe Fiasco, was a tre- Student Government that after the radio comments in early February, mendous success. Lupe is a devout Muslim who Director of Programming events coordinator Todd Steinbach and I asked raps of social injustices and political inequalities to have an open discussion with Lizzie Sorkin, in the world. His presence and positive infl uence RETRACTION President of Student Government and Sarah on hip-hop and on RIT were not represented In the March 16, 2007 article The Presiden- Gordon, President of the NTID Student Con- in Reporter. In addition, OAS’s Sankofa event, tial Process: Dr. Destler’s Campaign, fi rst year gress. The dialogue was created to discuss and BACC’s Fashion Show, GU’s Unifi cation, and Mathematics major Ryan Lewis was quoted in alleviate negative feelings within the RIT com- ACS’s Fashion Show all failed to be appropri- the fi rst paragraph. Reporter would like to make munity, most notably within NTID. What came ately recognized. the distinction that he was an active part of the about was a very positive discussion with new candidates’ visits to campus, and that he did not possibilities for next year and also the under- “I tend not to respond to letters in print unless feel like an “outside observer.” standing that both Lizzie and Sarah fully sup- the letter asks a direct question of me or makes ported the event and had no intention of cancel- a false assumption or statement that needs To Send Letters Email: [email protected]. Reporter will ing it. A continuing effort has been made with clarifi cation.” not print anonymous letters. the attendance of the NSC meeting to address Note Opinions expressed in Letters to the Editor are any issues regarding last week’s article and Lisa “…I stand behind Reporter’s role as a forum for solely those of the author. Reporter reserves the right to Lampanelli. Furthermore, Lizzie and Sarah have discussion and am glad that you have come for- edit submissions on the basis of content, length, gram- kept avenues of communication open regarding ward to defend CAB.” mar, spelling, and style. Letters are not guaranteed publi- new developments within the deaf community cation. Submissions may be printed and reprinted in any and I have pledged to keep them informed of any Casey, I look forward to your response but do medium. Reporter will not run responses to letters that vital information they would appreciate. fi nd it unsettling that Reporter has the ability to have responded to a letter.

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©2007 Domino’s Pizza, LLC 49069 by David Spiecker illustration by Greg Caggiano ne thing new students learn very it’s not all about games. “The most commonly quickly about RIT is that a lot of held misconception that people have is that students play video and computer since games are fun, design and development games. Because of their popularity, is all fun too,” says Phelps, “design and develop- you might be surprised to hear that we haven’t ment is an art, craft, and a science. It’s not all had a professional core in Game Design and Pac Man and Grand Theft Auto. There’s nothing Development up until recently. The master's wrong with being a good consumer, but that is program in Game Design and Development only not the equivalent of design and development.” just started, and the fi rst year of the bachelor’s Potential applications would range from build- degree program starts next school year. ing molecular visibility programs for the College of Science to developing military simulations The initiative for these programs began with An- or what Phelps calls “edutainment:” combining drew Phelps, currently the Director of Game De- games with education. sign and Development. At fi rst, he would go to game development conferences alone. Over time, When asked about the market for game that venture ballooned to having his own booth designers/developers, Phelps laughs as he and handing out promotional material with fellow says, “It’s huge, many companies receive thou- faculty, staff, and students, including the dean sands of applicants for maybe 20 positions, of the department. but a lot of those applicants aren’t qualified so they’re still looking to fi ll those 20 positions. Before Game Design and Development could This major will enable students to be quali- be considered a major, a proposal had to be fied. Companies like Microsoft were already written. “That’s the fun part,” Phelps says sar- impressed with our core.” castically while showing a binder containing a two-inch stack of paper. “That’s only for the “It’s inspiring to see students come in the class- bachelor’s degree program.” After the proposal room with a dream and walk out with a career. was written, it passed through different levels of Without a degree program, people looking for a curriculum approval, starting at the departmental game design and development [program] would level and ending at the institute level. Afterwards, never find this in RIT," remarks Phelps with a the proposal was sent to the Academic Senate grin, "and I’ve been playing games myself since and, ultimately, the New York State Board of I was four.” • Education. Interested? Currently, Andrew Phelps, Chris Egert, Prof. Dianne Bills Steve Jacobs, Jessica Bayliss, Joe Geigel, Graduate Program Coordinator Steve Kurtz, and Nancy Doubleday work for Email: [email protected] the Game Design and Development major. The bachelor’s degree program has already Prof. Al Biles received approximately 100 potential Undergraduate Program Coordinator applicants. “We expect to fill two sections [of Email: [email protected] classes], which is approximately 40 to 60 students,” explains Phelps. Prof. Andrew Phelps Director, Game Design & Development There is huge potential for the Game Design and Email: [email protected] Development fi eld, but people don’t realize that Website: games.rit.edu

NEWS 7 GLOBAL WARMING: WALKING ON THIN ICE by Veena Chatti photography by Ryan Randolph

Mark Bowen speaks about his book Thin Ice: Climate Change from the Mountains to the Seas on March 15 in the College of Science.

Mark Bowen is a climber and writer. He holds Thompson and his colleagues lived in these gone by the end of the century. There will be a doctorate in physics and has been on expe- conditions for three entire weeks. “In the South fl ash fl oods from molten glaciers. Water output ditions with climatologist Lonnie Thompson. Pole, they had a lottery going on when they’d from Tien Shan Mountain has already increased His fi rst book, Thin Ice, details Thompson’s work give up and come home. They didn’t,” Bowan by 62%. The Ganges will probably become a and decades of expeditions. A vast collection of narrates. He tells of another expedition when the seasonal river. Sorry to sound so ominous, but it photographs from Bowen’s expeditions punctu- camp ran out of food twice in three months and is ominous!” The political dimension, he adds, is ate his hour-long lecture. had to travel on feisty Mongolian horses to fi nally very disturbing. The US is still the highest emitter get a high-altitude ice-core. One of their party of carbon dioxide, followed closely by China. Bowen is writing about Lonnie Thompson members likened the expedition to the Siege of because Thompson is the fi rst to develop and Stalingrad. “Miserable experiences, of course, He continues his presentation with maps of land master the technique of ice-core drilling at high [as] all climbers know, make the best stories,” that will be submerged by the increasing water altitudes on glaciers. The photographs and Bowan explained. levels. He mentions the billions of environmen- process he described were very reminiscent of tal refugees and laughs hollowly when he talks the fi lm The Day After Tomorrow, which starts Then there is the story of the expedition un- about how the Capitol will be submerged and off with a shot of ice-core drilling on a glacier in dertaken by Thompson and company through how that won’t be missed. “One meter of water one of the poles. Bowen’s lecture is as ominous avalanche zones, where their guide told them means 200 million refugees. In 200 years, there as the fi lm, except for the frequent anecdotes to whisper while climbing so as not to set off will be billions.” from his travels. avalanches. They spent 50 days there at an altitude of 19,500 feet to finally obtain the first There is, however, good news, too. Reduc- The ice-core drill, he explained, was analogous ice-cores that dated back to the last ice-age. tion in the use of other global-warming induc- to the drills used by dendrochronologists, scien- Bowan lists the ominous facts of climate change: ing compounds will be very effective in saving tists who learn information about the past from “The snows of Kilimanjaro will be gone in 15 the planet. reading tree rings, to get samples from trees years. They were saying that a couple of years and then determine their age. Similarly, Thomp- ago. Now it’s 10 years.” Global warming is here now. It’s being dis- son looks at ice-core samples to determine their cussed everywhere. A lecture titled Green is the age and examine the effects of climate change “In 1982 James Hansen noticed the effects of New Red, White, and Blue by Thomas Friedman on the glacier. The drill, ironically, is powered by global warming, and in 1988 said that it was (author of The World Is Flat) given at Stanford solar energy. “How politically correct can you time for us to accept that global warming is here University about a fortnight ago was on the get, huh?” Bowan quips. and it’s time to stop provoking the planet. Of same topic. He, too, stressed the need for ex- course, they only recognized that weeks ago,” peditious and cost-effective changes to prevent The photographs shown during his lecture were Bowan explained. global warming. The message is explicitly clear: breathtakingly beautiful. They were all taken in Control climate change. Save our planet. • incredibly hostile conditions and high altitudes Bowen is working with James Hansen on a new on glaciers, some about 18,000 years old and book about the latter’s work on climate change. at temperatures of minus 50 degrees Celsius. “At the current rate, all glaciers in China will be

8 NEWS RITFORECAST SGSENATE compiled by Govind Ramabadran by Casey Dehlinger

Saturday Information Security Talent Search 5 Middle States 24 Building 70, Room 70-2620. 8 a.m. – 9:30 p.m. Teams engage Student Government (SG) President Lizzie Sorkin voiced the im- MAR in intense hacking and defending of network systems. Spon- portance of the SG Senators to attend the Middle States Review on sored by SPARSA. Cost: $40. Wednesday, March 21. The last time Middle States requested to meet with students only four showed up, including Sorkin and Director of Global Union Gala Programming Kate Dyson. This meeting is a crucial step in RIT’s accredita- SAU Cafeteria. 6:30 p.m. – 9:30 p.m. Gala held in celebration tion process, which ensures that RIT degrees hold meaning. of GU and affi liates’ accomplishments. Cost: Free. Parking Seventh Annual Night of A Capella Recent discussion with Parking and Transportation Services (PATS) yield- Ingle Auditorium. 7:30 p.m. – 10 p.m. Brick City Singers’ ed a variety of concerns that Vice-President Dave Blonski brought back perform with guest collegiate a capella groups. Cost: $3 in to the Senate, including multiple ticketing, the inconsistent fi nes for park- advance, $5 at the door. ing illegally, and whether or not freshmen should be allowed to purchase reserved parking passes. Sunday Pesach Challenge 25 SAU Cafeteria. 4 p.m. – 8 p.m. Passover cook-off for students Multiple Ticketing MAR from U of R, RIT, and SUNY Geneseo. Sponsored by Hillel. After discussing ways to prevent students from accruing excessive park- Cost: Free. ing fi nes due to multiple ticketing (cars being issued several tickets while they remain in the same location), the possibility of having an e-mail sent Monday Tania Lèon’s “Atwood Songs” with Margaret Atwood to offenders every time a ticket is given was considered. Concern was 26 Ingle Auditorium. 8 p.m. – 10 p.m. Presentation of “Atwood raised that students would be annoyed by receiving these e-mails. Ulti- MAR Songs” by U of R’s Tania Lèon followed by a discussion with mately, Freshman Senator Matt Danna made a motion to suggest to PATS her and author Margaret Atwood. Sponsored by the Women’s that they not issue multiple tickets. The motion was passed. Center. Cost: Free. Inconsistent Fines Tuesday Presidential Colloquium 2007 Blonski expressed concern that PATS charges $30 when a student is 27 Building 76, Carlson Auditorium. 3 p.m. – 4 p.m. Former US caught parking in reserved parking without a pass, but only fi nes $25 when MAR Ambassador William D. Montgomery talks on “War and Ethnic they are caught in handicap parking without a pass. To help benchmark Confl ict: Lessons Learned in the Balkans.” Reception to follow. the rates, Danna mentioned that the fi ne for parking in a fi re lane or a land- Cost: Free. scaped area is $18. It was also pointed out that 300-500 parking citations are issued per day by Public Safety. Women’s Senator Denise Herrera RIT Museum Opening Celebration suggested that handicap parking fi nes should be raised to at least $30. Wallace Library, third fl oor. 3 p.m. – 5 p.m. RIT’s Library cel- Blonski felt that $50 would be a more appropriate number. It was decided ebrates the opening of the new RIT Museum, with the theme of that SG would recommend to PATS that they charge at least $30−and per- the fi rst exhibit focusing on RIT students. Cost: Free. haps as much as $50−for students who illegally park in handicap spaces.

Wednesday RIT Career Fair Reserved Parking for Freshmen 28 Gordon Field House. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Several major companies The final topic on the table for discussion was whether or not it was MAR hiring for full-time and co-op positions; some interviews occur- appropriate to allow freshmen to purchase reserved parking passes when ring the next day. Cost: Free. they live so close to the academic side of campus. If they were denied this privilege, it could potentially increase the amount of general parking Thursday RIT Career Fair Interviews on campus. College of Science Senator John Berman voiced that, as far 29 Gordon Field House. 8 a.m. – 5 p.m. Interviews for students as the environment is concerned, freshmen should have to either walk or MAR from yesterday’s Career Fair. Cost: Free. ride bikes. The distinction was made that few campuses allow freshmen to have cars. However, freshmen also have extenuating circumstances, such Thursday Night Cinema Series: Borat as those who have work off-campus immediately after class. It was also Ingle Auditorium. 10 p.m. – 12:15 a.m. Co-sponsored by RHA revealed by Blonski that there are plans to build a parking garage on and OCASA. Cost: Free. campus, an expensive project that may potentially warrant parking fees. The topic requires more discussion before a decision can be made. Friday CAB Friday Night in the Ritz Presents Reggae Night 30 Ritz Sports Zone. 8 p.m. – 11 p.m. Cost: $1. MAR

NEWS 9 MARCH 28 11AM - 4PM GORDON FIELDHOUSE

Your opportunity to meet with over 180 companies! Talk to recruiters ... many interviews scheduled the next day! Search a list of companies and what they’re looking for at RIT Job Zone: www.rit.edu/co-op/careers

Office of Cooperative Education and Career Services 585.475.2301, 6905 TTY Music Review

Harlem Shakes - Burning Birthdays by Evan McNamara

Readers and listeners beware! Burning Birth- tune progresses, however, Harlem Shakes days, the latest five song EP from Harlem starts to sound more like a Killers rip-off band Shakes, is not the next big thing. No, the band is than anything else. They have that pretentious not on the verge of “breaking out.” Their recent “throwback” sound, which many bands are trying release is simply okay. It’s alright. Not bad. So to capitalize on as of late. does it even deserve the time of day? The rest of the album carries on without any sur- Harlem Shakes plays indie pop. They do so quite prises. It is textbook indie pop music, following effi ciently, taking cues from the band that perfect- standard pop structure. ed pop, The Beatles. The fi rst feature that jumps out is the adolescent quality of the vocals. This some of the most interesting lyrics on this EP. So does this album really deserve the time of is not necessarily a bad thing; rather, it sets them For example: “We could get drunk at the movies, day? Personally, it is a tad too generic for my apart from a plethora of bands whose vocalists or we could just get drunk in my room” outlines taste. Perhaps a full-length album will allow try to sound like something that they aren’t. a very creative way to be romantic. Whether or Harlem Shakes to show their full potential, but not this tactic would win the heart of any girl still on these fi ve songs something is missing. Har- The disc opens with “Carpetbaggers,” a catchy remains unclear. lem Shakes is still searching for the “it” factor. tune that introduces the band’s use of synthe- I’ll give you a call when they fi nd it. • sized keyboards. It also uses a few saxophones The second track “Red Rights Hand” is largely to punctuate the melody, which adds a nice fl are piano driven, calling to mind Elton John in his to the song. “Carpetbaggers” also showcases early recordings with an actual band. As the Game Review

Wario: The Master of Disguise by Chris Cesarano

When I purchased Wario: Master of Disguise for The key feature to this game is switching dis- logue and horrible the Nintendo DS, I was hoping it would allow me guises with the touch pad and stylus, which at puns just so I can to relive the joys of the fi rst title of the franchise, fi rst seems more like an excuse to have the game get back to the Wario Land for the original Nintendo GameBoy. on the DS and less like a good idea for game- fun part. However, I was met with a great surprise. play. In execution, the system actually works well. All movement is performed with the directional Overall, the Wario: Master of Disguise puts a greater pad, with all other actions being touch pad game isn’t influence on puzzles and exploration than based. Aside from a cramped hand, the only oth- too bad. It previous titles. Instead of using linear levels er thing to worry about is that the game doesn’t does take a where your progress is pretty straightforward, always understand what you draw. Some players fair chunk of you instead must trek through the levels in a round- will surely have clumps of hair torn from their time to truly enjoy about style that will be familiar to Metroid fans. heads as this irritation grates on their nerves it, so those with little patience or bad The idea of the game is to gather treasures throughout the game. tempers may want to steer clear of it. For throughout each of the levels, unlocking chests everyone else, though, I’d say it’s a pretty good by playing through small mini-games. The game’s greatest flaw is the storytelling. title to include in your game library. • There is just way too much text to read through. The puzzles and increasing diffi culty of the mini- I’m an advocate of a greater presence of sto- games as time progresses are bound to frustrate ries in video games, but for a franchise like this, many people after a while. Fans of exploration it’ll be forced at best. I just want to play the and puzzles will instead fi nd these elements to game, not wade through tortuously bad dia- be quite enjoyable.

LEISURE 11 Cooking For the Lazy With Gourmet Alex article and illustrations by Alex Salsberg

Let me tell you about my Breakfast roommates: I have one who College students often ignore breakfast, out of spite for years of hearing that it’s the “most are really about: putting a bunch of considers broiled swordfi sh important meal of the day” from every parent, stuff between bread and hoping for teacher, nutritionist, Rabbi, and news anchor the best. with a lemon-pepper glaze a they know. But they’re right: breakfast will keep you awake and alert, so you can get the quick snack. I have another most out of your 10 a.m. Writing class (bad example). roommate who would eat tin foil if he could microwave it. I have always admired the But not just any bread. Start out with culinary prowess of one a bagel, which is Yiddish for “no, Mrs. Glick, there’s supposed to be roommate, but shared the a hole in it.” Spread some cream cheese, then throw in some cu- other roommate’s laziness. My breakfast suggestion is simple. You’ll fi nd cumber slices. Finally, add Grape-Nuts among the cereals old people eat some turkey, or your deli After much time, I have to stay “regular,” but trust me; it’s good. You just meat of choice. This may need to put it in a bowl with milk and sugar, and sound weird, but just try and fi nally found my own happy heat it up for about a minute. Mix in a sliced ba- tell me that the first person nana and you have a breakfast that will start the to combine a peanut spread medium between gourmet day right. It’s cozy and relaxing, which is why I with squished grapes didn’t have his call it “Awww Nuts.” doubts. It’s delicious, and I call it “The Quirky and crap. The following Sandwich.” I thought of it fi rst, Quiznos! recipes should at least Lunch The sandwich is a lost art around here. Sand- Snack get you to the point where ella’s thinks you can just roll an ounce of meat Many of us have class all day, and don’t even between an entire bushel of suspiciously green have time to run to the Ritz or shoot over to “surf and turf” is no longer lettuce and call it a meal. Quiznos thinks that Crossroads. Sometimes you have to hit the vend- anything under an adorable cheese blanket ing machines, where you’re greeted with man’s a goldfish cracker you sprinkled in that mystery spice (Quazil?) is greatest achievements in individually wrapped “Mmm-mmm toasty.” But where’s the love? The packages, with the power to destroy your colon. dropped on the ground. following lunch reminds us what sandwiches Sure, you could settle for a bag of “Hot Fries”

12 LEISURE (which are neither hot nor fries), or a six-pack of Cook some mac n’ cheese. Then heat up some peanut butter on the banana, then roll it in your doughnuts (“doughnut,” by the way, comes from peas (you’re not ﬁ ve, you’ll like them). Now it’s cereal of choice. Chex, Rice Krispies, Cocoa the root words “do” and “not eat this if you want time to give it some Southwestern ﬂ avor: pick Pebbles, pretty much anything will stick to it. The to live past 33”). But if you’re going to eat crap, your favorite barbecue sauce, grab some black cereal gives it a crunch, the peanut butter gives you might as well mix crap together. pepper, and go nuts. Then, add the peas. The you energy, and the banana gives you something last ingredient is deli ham, which you can cut to hold on to (shut up, Freud). It’s the perfect My favorite vending machine creation has three into little pieces and stir in. It’s delicious, and midnight snack, and I call it a “Birdfeeder.” Don’t ingredients: Chex Mix, Reeses Pieces and a far cry from the usual Kraft orange blob. I call tell me it doesn’t look like those pathetic pine- M&Ms. Open the Chex Mix bag and pour the it “Mac n’ Cheese n’Ham n’ Peas.” because it’s cone creations you used to make when your candy in. Shake well! I call this recipe “Chex Mix fun to say. third-grade teacher needed to kill time. Mix.” Oh, and if you’re reading this, Chex, let’s put in more of those brown bagel-chip things. Enough with the pretzels already. Dessert Oh, it’s snowing. You have a boyfriend. Hey, I hope these recipes help thirty-seven deer. Nothing’s surprising here anymore. Luckily this dessert will help rekindle you expand your pal- the joy of being surprised. All you need is an ice cream cone (top-hat kind, not Madonna’s- ette, and inspire you to bra-from-the-80s kind), your favorite ice cream, and sprinkles. be creative in the kitchen.

Create a small sprinkle-deposit in the bottom If you don’t like these, you of the cone. Then, add the ice cream and put more sprinkles on top. As you eat the ice cream, can always try my fresh- Dinner do your best to forget about the sedimentary To me, cooking is a del- sprinkles. Even if you don’t forget, when you man year roommate’s fa- icate Kraft. But what’s reach the bottom and taste how the ice cream not a terrible joke is the fact has started to melt into the sprinkles, you’ll be vorite recipe, which I call that too much mac n’ cheese surprised every time. I call it “Ice Cream Sur- grows tiresome after awhile. prise,” though Ben and Jerry’s would probably “Ramen and Yell at Alex.”• It comes in orange or white, call it “Salsberriﬁ c Crunch.” and even has an Easy version (like your prom date). Making mac n’ cheese any easier would be like making Writing easier. Instead, let’s Midnight Snack make it more interesting. In college, anything you eat at midnight is not an attempt to put you to sleep–just the opposite. When you’re up late working after a successful day of procrastination, you need a snack that’s delicious and gives you energy, but takes just long enough to prepare to allow you to procras- tinate a little longer.

Try this: start with a banana and some peanut butter. Avoid Peter Pan brand; you may not want to grow up, but you deﬁ nitely don’t want to throw up (not as bad as the Kraft joke!). Spread the

LEISURE 13

AT YOUR LEISURE THINGS, STUFF, AND PEOPLE, TOO... QUOTE REPORTER STREAM “I have no doubt that we will be successful in harnessing the sun’s energy... If sunbeams RECOMMENDS were weapons of war, we would have had Looking up. Five planets–Mars, Mercury, Venus, OF FACTS solar energy centuries ago.” Saturn, and Jupiter–are visible in the night sky at MARCH 23 Sir George Porter the end of this month. You’ll be able to see Venus right after sunset or right before sunrise (ha!); March 23, 1983 – The Apatosaurus (previ- look along the horizon in the direction of the sun ously known as the Brontosaurus) is declared HAIKU for the second brightest “star” in the sky. And be the ofﬁ cial state dinosaur of Guam. by Brian Garrison sure to impressively point it out to any cute girls looking to butt heads that happen to be around–Venus was the god- The Apatosaurus’ nostrils were located on the okay for rams, otherwise dess of love, after all. top of its head. Nobody knows why. you’re just a butthead

The foam on the top of beer (called a head) is caused by bubbles of carbon dioxide rising to the surface, produced either naturally by the CARTOON | by Alex Salsberg activity of the brewer's yeast, or by artiﬁ cial carbonation.

Michael Jackson’s most famous pet chimpanzee, Bubbles, does not have DNA identical to human DNA, despite Jackson’s statements (asserting that identical DNA is the reason that chimps are so intelligent) in his 2005 child molestation case.

The last meal Julia Child had before dying in her sleep was French onion soup.

Concerning use of the phrase “freedom fries” in place of “French fries,” embassy spokeswoman Nathalie Loisau dismissed the issue, saying, “We are at a very serious moment dealing with very SUDOKU JUMBLE serious issues and we are not focusing on the Difﬁ culty: Medium Greek Mythological name you give to potatoes.” Figures 9851hdeas The concept of having a “brand name” wasn’t 74 ylcaops developed until the 19th century, when indus- prehpeones trialization made it possible to mass produce 495 3 dscaarsna and package goods, allowing companies to put 852 emdea easily recognizable labels on their products. suicaana 27 95 uncrsassi Because of younger, healthier organs, it is pos- aaehtn sible for children to come back to life even after 93 8 siopnode being declared clinically dead from hypothermia− 5198 lhene when the body is exposed to very cold tempera- mgnmaaoen tures for a prolonged period of time. 49 asuicr 486 3 dtiaehpor

March 23, 1989 –Stanley Pons and Martin uesz

Fleishmann announce the experimental produc- zeus aphrodite, icarus,

tion of cold fusion. Shortly thereafter, main- If you’ve never done one of these, this is how it agamemnon, helen, poseidon, athena, narcissus caa,

, cassandra, medea, nausi- medea, cassandra, , works: each row and column should contain the persephone calypso, hades, stream scientists rejected their irreproducible numbers 1-9 once and each of the blocks should claims. contain each number once too. The answer is on the website, go check it out!

LEISURE 15 FOUR YEARS LATER: THE WAR IN IRAQ WRITTEN BY ADAM BOTZENHART AND ANTONIO CASTILLO

THE IRAQ WAR: A HISTORY IN 900 WORDS 2003 It was Monday, March 17, 2003, at 8:01 p.m. it has aided, trained, and harbored terrorists, In May 2003, President Bush delivered his when President Bush addressed the Ameri- including operatives of al-Qaeda.” Just over 90 “Mission Accomplished” speech from the deck of can people. His message: “Saddam Hussein minutes past the 48-hour deadline, there were the USS Abraham Lincoln, declaring the end of and his sons must leave Iraq within 48 hours. bombs over Baghdad. major combat operations. But fi ghting continued, Their refusal to do so will result in military con- especially inside the “Sunni Triangle” (the area flict, commenced at a time of our choosing.” Operation Iraqi Freedom began in the early roughly between the cities of Baghdad, Ramadi, It was the culmination of a long diplomatic dance hours of March 20, with initial Coalition invasion and Tikrit), where many Saddam supporters was between Iraq and U.N. weapons inspectors, forces approaching 315,000 in number, includ- still present. A surge of insurgent guerrilla attacks, the President presenting charges that weap- ing support personnel. Three weeks later and termed the “Ramadan Offensive”, was seen, ons inspectors had been “threatened by Iraqi Baghdad fell, the iconic images of the statue characterized by the use of mortars, missiles, offi cials, electronically bugged, and systemati- of Saddam toppling spread across the world. suicide bombers, improvised explosive devices, cally deceived.” On April 9, Baghdad was formally occupied by roadside bombs, car bombs, small-arms fire, U.S. forces and Saddam’s rule was declared and rocket-propelled grenades. The threat was clear: “Intelligence gathered by over, though many top Iraqi offi cials had disap- this and other governments leaves no doubt peared and Saddam was nowhere to be found. It was in July of that year, after 65 more U.S. that the Iraq regime continues to possess and Almost immediately, regional violence throughout troops had died since the May 1 end of combat conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever the country began—the Iraqi cities of Al-Kut and announcement, that Bush delivered his “Bring devised,” the President outlined. “[Iraq] has a Nasiriyah declared war on one another, vying for ‘Em On” speech, inviting insurgents to continue deep hatred of America and our friends. And control in the new country. their attacks on American troops. A year and a

16 FEATURES IT BEGAN MARCH 20, 2003 – FOUR YEARS AND 3,457 COALITION DEATHS AGO. THREE YEARS, TEN AND A HALF MONTHS SINCE BUSH’S “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” SPEECH WAS DELIVERED ON THE USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, DECLARING THE END OF MAJOR COMBAT OPERATIONS IN IRAQ.

AMONG THE 3,457 COALITION SOLDIERS DEAD ARE 3,199 AMERICANS, INCLUDING PRIVATE FIRST CLASS MICHAEL S. ADAMS, A 20-YEAR-OLD FROM SPARTANBURG, SOUTH CAROLINA. PRIVATE ADAMS DIED ON AUGUST 21, 2003 IN BAGHDAD FROM INJURIES SUSTAINED IN A FIRE THAT BEGAN DUE TO BULLET RICOCHET DURING A SMALL-ARMS EXERCISE. ALSO INCLUDED IN THE DEATH COUNT IS SPECIAL- IST LESLIE D. JACKSON, AN 18-YEAR-OLD FROM RICHMOND, VIRGINIA WHO WAS KILLED WHEN HER MILITARY VEHICLE HIT A ROADSIDE BOMB IN BAGHDAD ON MAY 20, 2004. IT’S BEEN FOUR YEARS AND THE WAR CONTINUES— THE ISSUE HAS BECOME NO LESS DIVISIVE; THE END, MANY ARGUE, IS STILL NOWHERE IN SIGHT; THE TROOPS, DESPITE GROWING PUBLIC AND POLITICAL PRESSURE FOR WITHDRAWAL, ARE STILL BEING DEPLOYED. ON THIS FOURTH YEAR ANNIVERSARY, REPORTER PRESENTS AN OVERVIEW OF THE WAR THUS FAR, AND AN OUTLOOK OF WHAT THE FUTURE WAR IN IRAQ MAY LOOK LIKE.

FEATURES 17 half later, Bush formally expressed misgivings 2006-PRESENT the main goal of which is acquiring oil. Love about issuing such a statement, acknowledging As 2006 dragged on and U.S. midterm elections argues that “Afghanistan is just a stepping stone his language had an “unintended consequence.” neared, public and political pressure began to into Iraq, and Iraq is just a stepping stone into But by most accounts, the U.S. and Coalition build for real solutions and progress in Iraq. On Iran,” the end result being a conquest to control forces continued to have relative success in Iraq. November 7, the Republican Party lost control the region and ultimately, the oil. By December of 2003, over 300 top leaders of of both the House and Senate, many citing fail- the former regime had been killed or captured, ure in Iraq as a primary cause. The day after the For Contreras, the War in Iraq is ridden with Saddam’s sons Uday and Qusay had been killed, Democratic takeover, Secretary of Defense Don- blatant hypocrisy: “[The U.S. is] getting into Af- and on December 13 Saddam himself was ald Rumsfeld announced his resignation, with ghanistan and Iraq to spread democracy, in a captured on a farm near Tikrit during Operation former CIA chief Robert Gates replacing him. nation where democracy is slowly being taken Red Dawn. away from its own citizens—habeas corpus is The deadliest single insurgent attack since the gone, free speech is being censored, third par- 2004 beginning of the war occurred on November ties can’t even get into debates without percent- But the end was far from over. The beginning 23, 2006 and five days later a Marine Corps ages…if we’re going to go after dictators and of 2004 saw a relative lull in violence, but as intelligence report admitted that “U.S. and Iraqi people with nuclear weapons, why do we have 2004 wore on, insurgent attacks once again troops are no longer capable of militarily defeat- nuclear weapons and why do we have a Presi- increased, led primarily by the efforts of al- ing the insurgency in al-Anbar [providence].” By dent that’s acting like a dictator?” Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. The the year’s end, the Iraq Study Group reported city of Fallujah in particular became a hotbed that “the situation in Iraq is grave and deteriorat- For Cummings, the means the U.S. has used for insurgent violence, and the March 31 at- ing” and most political pressure and public opin- to prosecute this war have violated the basic tack on a military contractor convoy, followed ion supported a phased withdrawal of troops human rights we claim to protect. “In Abu Ghraib by the dragging, burning, and hanging the from the country. Despite this, on January 10, we tortured these people outright trying to get corpses of four U.S. military contractors on 2007, just over two months ago, President Bush information, while most of them were just normal a bridge in Fallujah, led to a renewed military presented his proposal to increase the number citizens of Iraq. And when we went into Fallujah, effort from U.S. forces. Military efforts in Fallujah of troops in Iraq, specifi cally a “surge” of 21,500. we used white phosphorus, which is a chemical met diffi culty, however, and by the end of spring And here we are. weapon essentially…when it contacts skin, it will the cities of Fallujah, Samarra, Baquba, and burn through to the bone and it won’t stop.” Ramadi had all essentially been left under in- DWINDLING SUPPORT, surgent control, with Coalition forces stationed SURGING TROOPS: For each of them, the War in Iraq is a war with- at the perimeter of the cities. RIT’S STUDENTS AND THE WAR out justifi cation or purpose, and it needs to end But we has become an increasingly precarious now. When pressed, however, even these crit- In June of 2004, sovereignty of Iraq was trans- term. Since the beginning, support for the war ics can point to some good things that have ferred from the Coalition Provisional Author- has been steadily decreasing (see page 20), come from Iraq. “We got Saddam,” Contreras ity, which had been established upon invasion, and the U.S. has moved from a country in a uni- concedes, “I mean, the war may be bullshit, but to a caretaker government whose fi rst act was to fi ed war effort to a fractured society uncertain Saddam Hussein gone isn’t a bad thing.” begin the trial of Saddam. In November, a sec- of exactly what to do with, or why we’re actu- ond Coalition assault on Fallujah was staged, ally even involved in, Iraq. RIT students Kenneth INTERVIEW WITH A SOLDIER this time successfully capturing the city, result- Love, Adriano Contreras, and Daniel Cummings Other students have already acted to put a stop ing in an estimated 1,200 insurgent deaths and all publicly oppose the war and have continu- to the war, only in a different manner than the 95 U.S. casualties. ally called for immediate withdrawal of all forces. anti-war students. Love, a third-year Urban Community Studies 2005 major; Contreras, a third-year New Media Pub- Adam Kreuz is a student and war veteran The new year brought new hope—on January lishing major; and Cummings, a second-year attending RIT on the GI Bill. He enrolled in the 31, 2005, democratic elections took place for a Network Security and Systems Administration Army on July 6, 1999, as part of First Armored government to draft a permanent Iraqi constitu- major; are all members of RIT Antiwar, a proj- Division, 16th Engineer Battalion, Charlie Com- tion. The following months of February, March, ect of the RIT Social Action Group, who speak pany. He was honorably discharged four years and April saw a decreased number of insurgent with fervor and force about their opposition to later, just before the War in Iraq began. attacks, indicating both political and military the war. progress. But hopes of real military progress The reality of soldier life settled in only after he were dashed in May of 2005, which proved For Love, the War does not center on a desire to had been deployed. “It really didn’t hit me until I to be the bloodiest month since the invasion. liberate Iraqi people or to root out Weapons of got to Germany,” he said. “Then I’m told, ‘You’re The rest of 2005 and much of 2006 were met Mass Destruction—this is merely a bill of goods going to Kosovo in six months.’” Kruez pursued with continued insurgent attacks and little evi- the American public was sold. The Iraqi War, active combat for the educational benefi t. 9/11 dence of true military progress. The current gov- instead, is part of “the project” of the American had not yet occurred and neither did the patri- ernment of Iraq took control on May 20, 2006. government, a plan that goes back over 10 years, otic swell in troop enrollment.

18 FEATURES 900 Military Fatalities: By Year

800 December: 112

Deadliest Month: 700 November: 137

600

500

400 U.S. U.K. Other Number of Deaths of Number 300

200

January: 105 100

0 2003* 2004 2005 2006 2007* *Does not represent a full year

Even though Kruez has never been in the hot Then Iraq happened and we said, ‘guess we’re The alternative called for by Democrats and seat directly—Kosovo’s confl ict had subsided going there now.’” He explains that, “for the Republicans alike is to withdraw US forces. once he was stationed there and the War in most part, soldiers don’t care about the politics Dr. Meredith says, “I do not think pulling out US Iraq just began after he was discharged—his of things... You’re scared to death of [war], but troops is the best plan. Rather, the US should friends have been lost on account of the con- you want to show that you learned something, swallow the bitter pill and allow the recalcitrant fl ict. A member of his division was sent to Iraq, that you can make it through...[it’s about] doing Europeans a piece of the reconstruction-con- only 21 at the time. your job and getting home.” tracts-pie. Doing so with the condition of signifi - cant military troop deployments would ease the While RIT students were dining in the RITz or WHAT’S NEXT?: AN OUTLOOK burden on the US and allow for a more multina- Gracies, our peer across the world was eating The rallying cry to bring the troops home takes tional force similar to Bosnia. That is the only way lunch in Mosul with other soldiers. On a day like on a different meaning for civilians these days. I can see for the development of long-standing any other, at a lunch meal like any other, an in- Dr. Spencer Meredith, a professor in RIT’s De- stability needed by the Iraqis to establish their surgent wearing an Iraq military uniform made a partment of Political Science, gave Reporter an own brand of democracy.” bomb with shrapnel and strapped it to himself. analysis on some of the latest developments with the War in Iraq, President Bush’s “New Way For- Four year’s spent and the war still rages on— At noon he walked into the lunchroom of a ward,” and the proposed plan to withdraw US there is no end in sight for the loss. A dictator U.S. Military facility and blew himself up, killing troops in Iraq. dethroned has perhaps, just perhaps, given Kruez’s friend and 18 others. Another soldier democracy and freedom a permanent foothold in Kruez met while serving had been building a According to Dr. Meredith, the New Way For- the region that will take root and grow with time. bunker when he hit a mine during routine op- ward “is realistic in offering a solution, but only erations. The explosion engulfed him in fl ames, as long as the insurgents conform to the expec- The past four years have continued with little killing him from burns that covered 98% of his tations of the US military. In terms of the US real thought or impact felt from the War over- body. population’s acceptance of the inevitability of seas, but the cost of America’s international positive outcomes resulting from this strategy, endeavor couldn’t be greater; the impact very After losing two friends to violence, Kruez por- I think the results from the 2006 election show real. The most important question seems just trays an ambivalent connectedness to the war. that a majority of Americans are not confi dent in out of grasp—since this is our war, how are we “Most of us were behind it, especially Afghani- the President’s plans.” to proceed? • stan; people wanted to volunteer for Afghanistan.

FEATURES 19 WHY DID IRAQ WAR SUPPORT FALL FASTER THAN A SACK OF BRICKS?

by Ryan Metzler The other day, lounging around a friend’s apartment, I noticed a calendar on his wall. Approaching the calendar, I realized it wasn’t an ordinary one, but “The Out of Of- fice Countdown.” Searching the Internet, I found Widgets, key chains, bottle open- R.I.T. National ers, t-shirts, and about 20 other items to help Americans count down to the Bush Administration’s end.

Sentiments on the War in Iraq: A Comparison

Do you approve or disapprove of the way George W. Bush is handling the situation Approve: 20% 24% with Iraq? Disapprove: 80% 72% Very well: 0% 1% How would you say things are going for the U.S. in its efforts to bring stability and order Somewhat well: 28.6% 22% to Iraq? Would you say things are going very well, somewhat well, somewhat badly, or very badly? Somewhat badly: 42.9% 34% Very badly: 28.6% 41% Getting better: 25.7% 9% Would you say the situation in Iraq is getting better, getting worse, or is it staying about Staying the same: the same? 24.4% 45% Getting worse: 49.9% 45% Do you favor or oppose sending more than 20,000 additional U.S. troops to Iraq in order Favor: 25.7% 29% to try and gain control of Baghdad and some other areas? Oppose: 74.3% 66% Very likely: 2.9% 10% Regardless of whether you think taking military action in Iraq was the right thing to do Somewhat likely: 40% 36% — would you say that the U.S. is very likely to succeed in Iraq, somewhat likely to succeed, not very likely to succeed, or not at all likely to succeed in Iraq? Not very likely: 42.9% 30% Not at all likely: 14.3% 20% Do you think George W. Bush has a clear plan for bringing the situation in Iraq to a Has a clear plan: 14.3% 22% successful conclusion, or don’t you think so? Has no clear plan: 85.7% 70% Yes: 34.3% 31% In general, do you think the Iraq war has made Americans safer from terrorism? No: 65.7% 64%

Source: From Newsweek/Princeton Survey Research Associates International Poll conducted in January 2007 Times weren’t always so cold for the Bush Administration, though—March 23, 2003, three days after the start of the war, 75% of the population supported Bush’s handling of the war. That number sunk during last election season to a humbling 21% approval, and now rests at 27% four years after the war's Before April of 2004, the reported number of U.S. soldiers dead start. One simple hypothesis for the decreasing support for the war is clear: per month in Iraq hovered in the 30s with relatively little ﬂ uctua- as casualties increase during a war, the support for that military movement tion. But in April, a leap was made from 52 in the previous month (and additionally the Administration) decreases. Some of the most recent to an unprecedented 135. In the months that followed, it was wars in American history (Korea, Vietnam, and Iraq) certainly seem to ordinary for the casualties to range between 80 and 100 support this premise. soldiers, up until the present day.

20 FEATURES USA Today: Gallup Poll “In view of the developments since we ﬁ rst sent our troops to Iraq, do you think the U.S. made 1,010 Adults a mistake in sending troops to Iraq?”

30 Percentage

2003 2004 2005 2006 2007

= Felt that the U.S. made a mistake

The casualties in the Vietnam War follow a similar tion. Even though early 2006 polls showed that lieve that we should be there. This President is trend. Reports indicate that, beginning in Janu- nearly 25% of adult Americans still believe that operating in ways that could only be described ary 1966, 196 U.S. soldiers were killed. Succes- Hussein was linked to the September 11 ter- as corrupt and deceitful...he has been able to sive months would continue upward, reaching rorist attacks, this signiﬁ cant lack of evidence sidestep most laws that our forefathers had put 385 by the end of the year and followed by 537 could have largely contributed to the change in in place to protect us.” at the end of 1968. After December of 1968, public opinion. war casualties began to decrease steadily un- Lawton, 46, has lived through both the Vietnam til reaching 157 per month at the end of 1971. Consider, also, the war’s rapidly rising costs. In War and now the Iraq War. I mentioned the pro- As evidenced in the results of a USA Today/CNN January of 2004, the war’s cost was approach- posed 20,000 additional troops being sent to Gallup poll, which reported a steady downward ing $50 billion—the original estimate for the Iraq, currently being discussed in Congress, slope of public approval of going to war, the mo- entire war. By January of the following year, costs which she completely dismissed as a solution. rale of the U.S. was clearly being affected. The were over $100 billion and rose to nearly $225 “I do not believe that anyone else should be de- poll began in August 1965 with 60% approval billion in January 2006. Now, the war’s cost ployed, but, instead, start phasing out the U.S. of the actions taken in Vietnam. This high, how- is estimated to be approaching $400 billion— presence and bring our troops home”—a strategy ever, did not last, winding downward to a low a budget that totals over $3,700 in war spend- that was also deployed to end the Vietnam War approval rating of 28% in May 1971. ing per Iraqi. With such a large investment and in the 1970s. little evidence that it paid off, Americans would The decline in support for the Iraq War could naturally begin to doubt the war’s necessity and Many argue the situation in Iraq has caused too also be traced to a popular belief that the Bush effectiveness. many casualties for the American people and Administration used faulty intelligence to encour- they are tired of the Administration’s seeming age the US to go to war. The President repeat- It’s clear that public opinion has shifted in a disregard. Memories of the Vietnam War appear edly warned Americans about the dangers of negative direction. Students, as the survey to haunt the American people as the War in Iraq Saddam Hussein’s supposed weapons of mass taken emphasizes, are no exception. I asked has led to comparable disapproval ratings. The destruction. When troops couldn’t find them, Marie Lawton, a third year part-time student in direction of the War in Iraq is vigorously deliber- however, the public was skeptical. As the war the Multidisciplinary Studies Program who lost ated by Congress and perhaps soon we shall dragged on with no sign of this mass cache of her brother in the Vietnam War, why she was in- see a revised directive with goals guided by the weapons, many Americans began questioning terested in the War in Iraq, to which she replied, sentiments of the American people. • the authenticity of Bush’s intelligence informa- “My interest stems from the fact that I do not be-

FEATURES 21 c o nnec t o l o gy e e t a w d o r k

RIT’s 3rd Annual Leadership Advancement Conference April 13-14, SAU

Friday, April 13 6pm-8pm Networking Dinner Reception

Saturday, April 14 8am-5:30pm Main Conference

Ticket sales start Feb 1st, 2007 Students: $5 refundable deposit Public: $10

Visit http://campuslife.rit.edu/leadership for descriptions, speaker biographies, & online registration Sponsored by: RIT Leadership Institute & Community Service Center, Cooperative Education & Career Services, ITS, The RIT Alumni Network, The Center for Residence Life, The Women’s Center, Academic Affairs WORD ON THE STREET COMPILED AND PHOTOGRAPHED BY BELVEDUDE & REPORTER STAFF

Q: Which is Iraq?

23.6% 22% 39.6% 15.2%

A. Saudi Arabia B. Bolivia C. Iraq D. Iran

Number of Students Polled: 250

"C." “C.” “C.” “D.” RIT Socialists Nubia Hassan Reid Williamson Matt Caro Fourth year Biomedical Third year Computer Engineering Third year Biotechnology Photography

“A.” “B.” “D.” “A.” Hannah Mayer Ruth Mittiger Okachukwu Onwubu Eugene Song Second year Photojournalism Registrar Employee Second year Mechanical Second year Imaging Science Engineering Technology

WOTS 23 01

SPORTSDESK

02 MEN’S LACROSSE RIT vs. Keuka | 03.14.07 photography by CoCo Walters

01// During their rainy and victori- ous game, #12 Wes Adam and #17 Stephen Papa of the RIT Men’s Lacrosse team ﬁ ght for more points in front of the Keuka goal.

02// Some of the members of the RIT Men’s Varsity Lacrosse team look on as their teammates face Keuka.

03// A large crowd of friends and family from both RIT and Keuka gathered for RIT’s second home game of the season.

04// At the conclusion of their second home game, amongst a hoard of fans, RIT came out over Keuka 13-6.

24 SPORTS 03

SPORTS 25 WINTER SPORTS WRAP-UP Welcome back. Last week, we gave you the low-down on RIT’s Hockey PART and Basketball teams in the ﬁ rst install- ment of our two-part report, entitled (so appropriately) “Winter Sports Wrap- Up.” This week, we give you a recap of DEUXSwimming and Diving, Track and Field, and Wrestling. Read on, and see how some of your favorite feline athletes performed.

by Chad Carbone and Geoff Shearer photography by Staff Photographers Women’s Track and Field meet. These are simply a few of the main con- eighteenth and Quinn earned an astounding When asked about this year’s Track and Field tributors to the success this season of the Men’s third All-American honor for his fi fth place fi nish season, Head Coach David Warth replied blunt- Track and Field team. in the one-meter dive. ly: “Clearly the best season in school history and way beyond my expectations.” The women Unlike every other winter sport, the Men’s and The 200-yard freestyle relay team of Scott Heat- fi nished fi rst in the Empire 8 and New York Col- Women’s Track and Field competition continues erberg, Pete Kaemmerlen, Phil Baudoin, and legiate Track Conference (NYSCTC) for the fi rst on into the spring. The Tigers began practices Casey Schneider has been a perennial winner, time in school history, and fi nished in fi fth place on March 19 and will venture to Maryland for placing second in the Empire 8 Meet and third by a small margin at the East Coast Athletic their fi rst competition on March 30, using their in the New York State Championships. Strong Conference (ECAC) Championship, only eight winter momentum to steam ahead of the pack. performances by Adam Luptak, Steve Rois, and points out of fi rst place. Matt Jenkins have aided the cause as the team Women’s Swimming and Diving fi nished fourth out of 14 at the NYS Champion- The strong efforts in Championship meets this The women’s team endured a decent year, but ships. Jenkins was named RIT’s Sportsman of year have been due to the senior leadership of nothing too exemplary. There were many indi- the Year. runners Danielle Simmons, Trisha Sliker, and Ka- vidual achievements garnered during the year, tie Palermo, as well as thrower Allison Griggs including many school records that were broken Men’s Wrestling and hurdler/sprinter Lakeisha Perez. These ath- and All-Conference honors that were won, but Youth is the movement on the mats this year. letes, along with a younger group of middle and overall, the team was not as successful as some Mike McInally (125-pound freshman) and Luke distance runners, have really kicked into gear of the other sports this winter. Baum (141-pound sophomore) led the Men’s after a great cross-country season. Griggs Wrestling team as they both qualifi ed for the Di- (shotput) and Simmons (800-meter dash) went That’s not to say they did not achieve anything vision III NCAA Tournament. Both McInally and to the NCAA Division III Championships held at this season. Kristen Curtze was exceptional, Baum did not come out place winners in the Rose Hulman Institute of Technology in Terre earning first team All-Conference honors in tournament. However, they each pulled down a Haute, Indiana. Although neither placed as an the 100-yard freestyle, second team in the 50- 1-2 record after a strong outing in the Empire 8 All-American, they placed eighth and seventh yard and 200-yard freestyle and wrapping it all Tournament. respectively in their qualifying rounds. up with RIT’s Sportsperson of the Year award. Freshman Caitlyn Burr did her part as well, earn- Along with McInally placing fi rst and Baum plac- Warth, who was recently named the US Track ing Rookie of the Meet honors and a fi rst team ing second in their respective weight classes at and Field Coaches Association Atlantic Region selection in the 100-yard butterfl y and second- the Empire 8 Tournament, the team had two oth- Indoor Track Women’s Coach of the Year, cited team honors in the 200-yard Individual Medley er place winners. Nathan Bachmann (157-pound the NYSCTC meet in St. Lawrence as being the and the 200-yard backstroke. These two broke junior) placed second and Micah Vore (285- most extraordinary moment of the season, as various school records on their own, but also pound senior) placed third. Both Bachmann the RIT athletes “were far more competitive than together. They competed together in relays with and Vore were selected as NCAA Tournament anybody expected.” the help from Stefanie Owczarczak, Angie Palo- alternates, but they did not get the nod to attend maki, and Teresa Burr−Caitlyn’s older sister. in Dubuque, Indiana. McInally, who ended the Men’s Track and Field season with a 35-9 record, took home the award The men had a successful season as well, plac- The team fi nished 3-6 in head-to-head match- for Most Outstanding Wrestler at the Empire 8 ing fi rst in the Empire 8, fi fth in the NYSCTC, ups and took eighth place out of 14 at the New Tournament. and fourth of 54 in the ECAC Championships. York State Championships. They did not have the This consistent placement exceeded the ex- best of years, but they can look to improve next Head Coach Scott Stever was impressed with pectations of Coach Warth, who stated that, year with the leadership of Curtze and Burr. how the team came together at the Empire 8. “[Our season] was a huge success due to the “We had a young team with very few seniors. combination of strong team efforts in our scor- Men’s Swimming and Diving I was pleased with how we were peaking at the ing meets and great individual performances in The RIT Tigers placed eleven members of the right moment. We had place winners in every individual efforts.” Men’s Swimming and Diving Team on the Em- tournament this year, which is a goal we’re al- pire 8 All-Conference squad. The ever-deco- ways trying to achieve.” In head-to-head match- The athletes on this team have achieved several rated Quinn Donahoe was named Diver of the ups, the team was not good, winning only two of noteworthy accomplishments this season: Nate Meet for his excellence in the one-meter and 15 matches. However, with youth on their side, Lowe was named NYSCTC MVP for his special- three-meter diving events at the Empire 8 Meet. this team looks to have a bright future for next ty in running longer distances; Mike Herb broke Right behind him and earning second team hon- year and years to come. • various records in the pole vault; Jimmy Sorel ors was Matt Joseph, a good diver in his own took fi rst at the ECAC Championship meet for right. Both divers competed in the Division III That’s it for winter (Sports, anyways. Snow’s in the 55-meter hurdles; the 4 x 800-meter relay Swimming and Diving Championships in Hous- another story.) Check out www.ritathletics.com team also took fi rst at the ECAC Championship ton from March 15-17, where Joseph placed for some info on what’s to come this Spring!

SPORTS 27 Call Jim Hills: 315.559.9029 Or Mark Hills: 585.436.9447 Or Email: [email protected]

WaNt wOrthwhile Work? WHy waIt? WRitIng warraNts waGes.

Weekly meetings: Fridays at 5 pm, SAU room A-426.

Pizza provided. All are welcome. HOUSES! www.reportermag.com 4 & 5 Bedroom Houses For Rent [email protected] One Year Lease Starting on 9/1/07 Quiet Residential Neighborhood Offstreet Parking, In-House Laundry

THE WAKE UP WITH COMMONS SPORTS Online Ordering Service. ZONE

Saturdays 8:30 AM Piping Channel 25 ESPN 2 Hot Fridays And 6:00 PM Ready Channel 26 TWSN To JUST GO TO Eat . RIT.WEBFOOD.COM The Magic of Music Tvnnfs!Cvtjoftt!Jotujuvuf!A!Tjnpo –for less than a movie! RPO classical concerts are just $5 for college students! Come downtown to the Eastman Theatre in Rochester’s East End and Kvof!5Ñ33-!3118 experience the power of music to inspire and delight! The PAETEC Philharmonic Partners Program offers $5 best-available tickets to Xifuifs!zpv!bsf!b!dvssfou!dpmmfhf!tuvefou!ps!b!ofxmz!njoufe!hsbevbuf-!! Philharmonics Series concerts for college ejtdpwfs!fydjujoh!pqqpsuvojujft!jo!cvtjoftt!uijt!tvnnfs/ students with valid ID. Student tickets are available during the week of the concert. E Get a head start on your career path Percussion Sensation E Three-week, 4-credit program includes courses in three area March 29 & 31 general management, marketing, and accounting and finance Ravishing Rachmaninoff: E Network at C.E.O.-hosted dinners Symphonic Dances April 19 & 21 Beethoven’s Second Concerto Fospmmnfou!jt!mjnjufe/!Bqqmz!opx"!Bqqmjdbujpo!Efbemjof;!Bqsjm!25-!3118 May 3 & 5 Sponsored by Gps!npsf!jogpsnbujpo!dpoubdu!vt!bu!)696*!386.4644!ps!wjtju Visit www.rpo.org for more info and tickets xxx/tjnpo/spdiftufs/fev0tvnnfsjotujuvuf online. Or call 454-2100 or stop by any Wegmans. (Convenience fee may apply) ROCHESTER PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA Christopher Seaman, Music Director

RPO performances are made possible with public funds from the NewYork State Council on the Arts, a State Agency. American Airlines is the official airline of the RPO. RIT Student Health Center

Pause FESTIVAL AT A GLANCE Paws for Health www.drff.org e. SMOKERS … WANT TO QUIT?

Friday, March 23 Saturday, March 24 Sunday, March 25

7:00 pm 9:00 am 9:00 am Hear and Now Documentaries Simultaneous Feature Films: Feature-Length Film Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. Little Theatre Rochester Institute of Technology PBS Through Deaf Eyes Panara Theatre, NTID Rochester Institute of Technology 8:30 pm Panara Theatre, NTID x Free Nicotine replacement patches or gum Post-Film Reception 11:30 am – 12:30 pm Location TBA Keynote Address* Beyond the World, Part 1 & 2 (see flyers at the Wayne Betts, Jr. Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. film showing) Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. Rochester Institute of Technology x Prescriptions for Zyban or Chantix Reception Rochester Institute of Technology Room #2590 Panara Theatre, NTID 11:00 am 2:30 – 4:30 pm Filmmakersʼ Panel Discussion Short Films and Art Films Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. x Individual Counseling Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. Rochester Institute of Technology Rochester Institute of Technology Panara Theatre, NTID Panara Theatre, NTID 12:30 pm x Referral to QuitLine 5:00 pm Audience Awards Dinner at Dyer Arts Center, NTID Brunch Wrap-Up Remarks 7:00 pm Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. Student Films** Dyer Arts Center, NTID x Quit Kits Reception Lyndon Baines Johnson Bldg. Rochester Institute of Technology Sunday, March 25 Panara Theatre, NTID 10:00 am – 2:00 pm * Free and open to public Childrenʻs Film Program Call or stop by to make an Got questions ? ** Free to students with ID TBA appointment Go to our website All Film Festival Pass: Student Combo Pass: Tickets: Monday – Thursday Saturday Dinner included - $35 Saturday Dinner included - $15 Friday - $10 Sunday Brunch included - $35 Sunday Brunch included - $15 OR Saturday - $10 (or $15 including Dinner) Saturday Dinner and Saturday Dinner and Student film screening & reception - Free 8:30am – 7:00pm www.rit.edu/studenthealth Sunday Brunch included - $40 Sunday Brunch included - $20 Sunday - $10 (or $15 including Brunch) Wednesday CLOSED 12:00-2:30pm for answers O For more information and to order tickets: www.drff.org Friday 8:30am-4:30pm M Schedule of events and films schedule may be subject to change RITRINGS 585.475.5633 compiled by Ryan Metzler

All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run. Reporter reserves the right to publish all calls in any format. The views expressed on this page are not endorsed by Reporter.

Thursday 12:53 a.m. Saturday 3:24 a.m. Thursday 10:02 p.m. Hey, can we just stick to calling it Flex? “Tiger Guess what? We’re at spring break Sup? Reporter, here’s the deal, it’s Thursday Bucks” is totally gay. oh-[swear]ing-seven! Yeah ’07 in Toronto and and I’m here at Applebees and I had a delicious the pub is closed. It’s only two a.m., what is meal. My roommate likes to make friends with Thursday 1:14 a.m. that? I just really want to get drunk. I’m not these weird, like, people and we were talking to Hey, I just wanted to say that the RIAA is drunk. I just want to tell you that Reporter sucks. my husband, well, he’s not really my husband; essentially like the Mob, and now they are of- You guys [swear]ing suck! I just want to drink it’s purely platonic. See, I don’t have a husband, fering a…lawsuit settlement option. So, they some more. I have this big issue, but we shouldn’t even go threaten to sue us students and then tell us in into it because it’s going to incriminate both order to not get sued for $150,000 that we can Sunday 2:10 a.m. of us, Reporter. I don’t really want to go there. settle for $3,000 to $5,000 as a student dis- Yo, I can’t believe she got with that kid. She’s Usually I have really nice, fun, witty things to say, count. Is that not like the Mob? Someone should so busted. but tonight I don’t. Anyways, I’m trying to fig- look into that, Reporter. ure out my life, Reporter. I sent out my resume Monday 1:55 p.m. and cover letter this week and it felt really good. Thursday 10:46 p.m. Hey, I just wanted to know what President Sim- I am really glad we have these talks. You’re like a Hello, I just wanted to complain about someone is doing about all the social retards at this diary that, like, listens. What a life, man. thing that is complete bull[swear]. I’ve been school? Thank you. paying tens of thousands of dollars to RIT each Friday 1:11 a.m. year, and I had an opportunity to save money by Tuesday 1:27 p.m. Hey RIT Rings, how are you doing? My room- moving off campus. Where I’m moving to I will Hello? mate is next to a girl with a tutu on. I’m really be saving about $1,000. Now RIT is penalizing creeped out right now. I am eating a grilled me $800 for still being a registered student and Thursday 8:53 p.m. cheese off of a Frisbee. First, you have to realize moving off campus. RIT can kiss my ass. Hi RIT Rings, I am just really upset right now that where I’m coming from pretty much doesn’t because I love reading Word on the Street, and make sense to me right now. Saturday 7:17 p.m. in this past edition there was no Word on the Hey Reporter, I am calling you because I have Street. Also, I think the Features Editor is really Friday 9:03 a.m. been screwed over by RIT very hard to the point hot. Thank you RIT Rings. Hey RIT Rings, I’m reading your latest issue and where I have to leave RIT housing next quarter. I see there’s a page about President Destler I thought you might be interested in possibly Thursday 9:28 p.m. giving a lecture. There is a caption under the writing a story about this. About how I am living Hey Rings, I was just calling in because the back photo that says “Destler talks to a full audience with a cocaine addict and now I am forced to page on this week’s Reporter is really pissing in an open forum held on Monday, Februrary 19.” move out of my apartment while they are still me off. “The Bigotry Does Not Fall on Deaf Ears.” Well, it’s in the Ingle auditorium, and from the living there. I would like this to be brought to the Anyone who can watch television or has half a picture it’s clearly about a third empty, and that’s attention of everyone that goes to RIT, so please brain has realized that she insults everyone un- a generous estimate. I just thought I’d let you call me if you are interested. mercifully. There’s no point in these deaf people know that. Thanks, bye. getting so pissed off about it. That’s all I have Saturday 1:15 a.m. to say. I hate hairy nipples.

30 RINGS A STARRY-EYED REVELATION by Laura Mandanas illustration by Bryan Williams

Earlier this month, I, along with the in heaven was far, far better. Who’da rest of the nation, mourned the loss thunk it? The sheer unpredictability of of Anna Nicole Smith. Believe me, it all is what makes celebrity-watching I was as shaken up as the rest of you— so divine. I couldn’t eat for nine days. Still, we must soldier on. Anyway, I was crying If Lindsay and Britney decide to ex- on my bed one night over the death of pose their ‘sacred feminine’ as they the starlet when, mid-sob, I came to a exit their respective yachts and limos, few realizations. well, more power to them. (And if you’re doubting Britney’s star power, Realization one: Even without a oh you of little faith, fear not: she shall personal invitation to the starlet’s pri- rise again. The pudgy middle and freshly vate funeral (Oh, the injustice! Surely, shaved head is obviously a tribute to this is not what Anna Nicole would Buddha.) have wanted!), there’s enough information on the major news networks And yeah, maybe Michael loves about the ceremony that I can reenact the little children a bit too literally... it with excruciating attention to detail, but you’ve got to give credit where it’s no problem. due; his snow-white complexion is pure as porcelain. And remember, there’s no Realization two: Despite the gen- such thing as a lost cause—if you wait eral consensus prior to her death that long enough, even Michael will come Anna Nicole was a fat, untalented, back into the good graces of the public money-grabbing attention whore past someday. For all his antics, it’s nothing her prime, all it took to absolve her of an effective PR team couldn’t handle; her transgressions was death. nothing is beyond their power.

Realization three: Anna Nicole Smith Anything can be spun about to be seen was a goddess on Earth. The only thing in a positive light. That isn’t grease this goddess lacked was an official in K-Fed’s hair—that, my friends, is religion. the sheen of divinity. Mary-Kate isn’t anorexic—she’s incorporeal. It’s all a I mean, yeah, you might argue that the cult-like infamous hips brings sexy back. Or maybe matter of semantics. worship of celebrities is practically already a that last one is more Justin’s territory...anyway, religion—and I totally agree with you—but that’s you get the idea. So back to the matter of making this an really not the same thing as actually being one. official religion. If we can put the recursive Unless it’s down on paper, earnest declarations Were celebrity worship our official religion, process of Hollywood spin under the blanket of love and devotion really don’t mean anything we wouldn’t even need to invade other coun- of “religion,” the process of shuffl ing celebs in in the end (much like prenuptial agreements). tries for the fun of tearing them apart and putting and out of favor can happen faster than ever. them back together again—celebrity gods would No longer held back by “logic,” “reason,” or Here’s what I propose: celebrity worship should fulfi ll that need. There’s nothing more satisfying “truth,” we’ll be free to spin them round as fast be the offi cial religion of the United States. than watching gossip and tabloids turn the pub- as we possibly can! We’ll see the glossy ideal lic against last week’s media darlings, deserved one day, and their twisted, ugly mess the next. Screw separation of church and state. Just pic- or not. And then the glossy ideal again. And then the ture all the good that can be done in a country ugly mess. And so shall it continue for the rest united by celebrity worship: one fl ick of Fergie’s For example: the fusion of Affl eck and Lopez into of eternity, now and forever, amen. hair brings fertility to the crops; one prayer to Bennifer was great while it lasted, all rose petals, Pamela brings padded push-ups to the poor(ly matching Bentleys, and pink diamond engage- Let’s do it for Anna Nicole. • endowed); one bounce of Beyoncé’s booty ment rings...but I think we can all agree that the brings blessings untold; one shake of Shakira’s tumultuous breakdown of this (mis)match made This article is dedicated to the everlasting memory of Anna Nicole Smith.

VIEWS 31 , It s all about the Nathaniels, baby! Apply for a Nathaniel Rochester Society Merit Scholarship, and get money for your next year of tuition at RIT. These unique RIT scholarships are available to:

Full-time undergraduate students in a BA, BS or BFA program, WITH * A minimum 3.4 cumulative GPA, AND * 72 credit hours of study completed by the end of the 2006-07 winter quarter, or * 18 RIT credit hours for transfer students, AND A minimum of three full-time quarters (not including co-op) remaining after the * spring 2006-07 quarter.

Application Deadline is April 16, 2007!

Scholarships are awarded based on academic merit, not financial need. Leadership, community service, and participation in extracurricular activities are strongly considered in the selection process.

To apply, visit the NRS website at rit.edu/nrs, and click on the NRS Scholarships link in the right hand navigation bar.

For more information, email Susan Parrino at [email protected]