THE MARRIAGE GO-ROUND: AN EXPLORATORY STUDY OF MULTIPLE MARRIAGE By JAMIA ELAINE fOX Bachelor of Arts Cameron University Lawton, Oklahoma 1976 Master of Science Oklahoma State University Stillwater, Oklahoma 1978 Submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate Colleg-e of the Oklahoma State University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Degree of DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY May, 1982 The.sis )92;;i., D F 79;_ 1YL CfYfJ· c2,, THE MARRIAGE GO-ROUND: AN EXPLORATORY STUDY OF MULTIPLE MARRIAGE Dean of the Graduate College ii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS No graduate program is ever completed without the aid and support of others. I have many "significant others" who need to be recognized and thanked for their efforts on my behalf. Dave Cramer - for always being supportive no matter the obstacles and for being the only man I could ever live with. Ricky - for allowing Mom the time to study when you really wanted to play. Yes, my son, now you may have an Atari Game. Donna White - who first convinced me that it was possible and gave me the courage to try. t• Rebecca Bottoms and Anne Baldwin - for always standing by me with unrelenting support. My Mother - who first instilled in me the determination to succeed. My Father - who would have been proud. Process - for helping me get this dissertation put together right and for putting up with my episodes of craziness. Gene Acuff - for providing an academic environment which allowed for creativity and individualism. Phyllis Acuff - for always caring. Jan Fitzgerald - for running a smooth ship in a stormy sea. Jean Ryan - for always having a smile for everyone. Ed Webster - for having the quickest wit in the department and for brightening my days with humor. iii Judy Dobson and Marge Schweitzer - for providing me with a role model of professionalism in women. Stillwater Medical Center Emergency Room - for the funds to finan­ cially survive and for a staff which kept my feet on the ground and my head out of the abstract clouds. Ken Jacks, Max Portray, Lori Anderson, Carol Olson, Mike Hendricks and Paul Sharp - for making the process of being a graduate student a cohort activity. Jack Bynum - who initially recruited me and has always stressed my employability even as I stand unemployed. Larry Perkins - a kind and gentle man whose own true humanness provided me glimpses of the value of studying humanity. Thank you for sharing parts of yourself with me and for preventing the seeds of cyn­ acism from taking root by your own sensitive concern. You are a unique person, Larry, a true humanitarian and I consider it a privilege and an honor to call you friend. Chuck Edgley - for striving va 1 i antly throughout the years to create a thinker out of a nurse. You never once let me down or gave up on me. I owe you so much more than I will ever be able to repay. I pledge to you, in partial payment, a continuing friendship in years to come. Chuck, you are very special to me. Ken Kiser - for whom I simply do not have the words to thank for exceeding the role of major professor. You have been so much more than advisor and mentor. You, out of all others, have been my best friend. So, at the risk of being labeled sentimental, I quote from a favorite old movie of mine. This dissertation, Ken, is for you. To Sir \·tith Love. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter Page I. THE STUDY OF DIVORCE . 1 Introduction ••••••••••••• . 1 Divorce as a Cultural Experience . 4 Divorce and Remarriage from a Demographic Perspective ••• ll Reasons for Remarriage •.••••••••• 13 Remarriage as a Merry-Go-Round • • •• 14 Problems in Remarriage •••••••• 16 Assertions on Causation of Multiple Marriages •••••••• 17 Research Studies of Multiple Marriage 18 Conclusion • • • • • • • • •••••••••••• 19 II. METHODOLOGY •• . 21 Introduction • • • • • • • ••• 21 A Methodological Approach to Researching Multiple Marriages •••••••• 23 The Methodology Employerl ••••••• . 25 Selecting the Sample ••••••••••• 26 The Interview and Other Personal Documentation ••••• . 27 Description of the Respondents •.•••••••••• 29 The Analysis • • • • • •• 30 III. THE EARLY YEARS •• . 35 Introduction • 35 The Childhood Home: Early Encounters With a Social World ••••• . 38 Unhappy Homes: The Initial Meaning of Family •••••••••••• 40 The Rise of Masculinity and Fer:iininity ••••• 43 Living Through It: Multiple Marrieds and Alienation from the Concept of Faini ly . 45 Family Relationships: Interactions with Early Significant "Others" ••••••••••• 46 The Parental Marriage: Observations of the Marital Relationship •.•• 48 Intensification of Sex Roles 50 v Chapter Page A Cycle of New Parents •••••••••• 52 Relationships with Parents: Early Interactions •••••••••••••••• 53 Differential Perceptions of Interaction •••• . 57 Siblings: The Exclusion of Others in the Meaning of Family ••••••••• . • • . • 58 Places and Spaces •••••.•••••••• . 60 The Effects of Disrupted Interactions: A Loss in Identity •••••• . 61 Summary: The Negated Search for Self Through Family .•••••••••• . 63 IV. FIRST MARRIAGES: BEGINNINGS AND ENDINGS . 66 Introduction • • • • • • • • • • • . .. 66 The First Marriage for Males: An Acquiescence to Roles ••••• . 69 Marriage as Distinct from Self ••••• . 72 The First Divorce: Relinquishing Role Obligations •••• 77 First Marriage for Females •• 80 Marriage as Self •••••••••• 80 Marriage as an Adjustment • • • 83 Decisions to Marry •••••• . 84 Being Married - Females: The Failure of Marriage Expectations • . 86 The Decision to Divorce •••• . 87 The Commonalities of First Marriages for Males and Females ••••• . 91 Summary • • • • • • • • • 92 V. SECOND MARRIAGES: STARTING OVER 95 Introduction ••••••••••••• 95 Starting Over: The Feriinine Way • • • • • 98 Divorce as a Failure •••••••• 98 Remarriage as Emotional and Financial Security • . 100 The White Knight Redefined •••••••••• • 102 The Disenchantment of Second Marriages •••• • • • 104 Renewed Adjustments to Husbands ••••••• • •• 106 The Second Divorce: Intensified Anomie or Impetus for Change • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 107 The Quixotean Quest: Obstaces to Marriage ••••••• 110 Starting Over: A Masculine Flair ••••••••••• 113 Securing Positive Attributes Through Marriage • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 113 Rebuilding Social Order by Remarriage • • ••• 115 Second Marriages, The Emergence of Disillusionment ••••••••••••••••• 116 Embryonic Attempts at Change ••••••• 117 Divorce as a Learning Experience ••••• 118 The Male Myth of Happy Marriages • • • • • ••••• 120 vi Chapter Page Summary • • • • • • • • • • • • • • . 121 Second Marriages ••••••• . •• 121 VI. MULTIPLE MARRIAGE: ALIENATION OR CHANGE • • 124 Introduction • • • • • • • • • • • • • • . •• 124 The Feminine Response to Divorce Crisis: Creation of Ambivalence •••••••••••••• • 129 A Need for Single Time: Problems and Benefits • . 130 Succumbing to the Double Standard of Aging •• • •• 132 Third Husbands: A Process of Settling ••••• • • • • 134 The Effects of Single Time on Third Marriages • • • 137 Strategies for Identity Protection ••••••• • 141 Three Time Losers: Further Alterations of Self • 143 The Masculine Response to Divorce Crisis •• • • • 145 The Difference Between Saying and Doing . • • • . 146 Rejection of Single Time: Reinforced Role Expectations •••••••••• . • 147 The Emergence of a Self-fu lfi 11 i ng Prophecy for Males •••••••••••••••••••••• 149 A Masculine Difference in Serial Marriages ••••••• 151 The Many Times Married ••••••••••••••••• 154 Summary • • • • • • • • • • 155 VII. CONCLUSION . • 156 The Search for Social Order • • • • • • • ••••• 158 The Meaning of t1arriage • • • • • • • ••••• 158 The Residue of Childhood Experiences ••••• 161 The Differential Search for Social Order • • •••• 164 Marriage as a Fixed Image ••••••••••••• 167 The Creation of the Fixed.Image of Marriage • • 170 The P~oblematic Nature of Multiple Marriage for Society ••••••••••• • 172 The Future of Multiple Marriage ••••••• • • 173 Normative Support of Serial Marriages ••••• • • 173 Variables Affecting Multiple Marriage • • 176 The Effects of Age on Serial Marriage •• ••••• 176 Socioeconomic Status and Serial Marriage • • 178 The Likelihood of Increased Serial Marriage • • • • 181 Future Areas of Research in Multiple Marriage • 183 BIBLIOGRAPHY •••••••••• . • • • • 186 vii LIST OF TABLES Table Page I. Respondents' Demographic Information in Tenns of Social Class and Family Background . 31 II. Respondents' Length of Marriages and Times Single ••••••••••••••••••••••••. 33 viii FIGURE Figure Page 1. Rate of Divorce 1940-1980 • • • • • • • • • • • • • • . • • • . 9 ix CHAPTER I THE STUDY OF DIVORCE Introduction In the past few decades we have seen the United States experiment in many alternative family forms. There has been an increase in cohab­ itation, communal fonnation, limitation of family size, dual career marriage, heightened stress on sexuality, and rapidly rising divorce rates to name but a few of the major changes. Each increase in the incidence of these categories has seen a polarization of response. The "me first" generation usually greets each rise with glee and proclaims that individuality is finally flourishing. The opposing camp sadly shakes its head and mutters phrases about the death of the American family. It is moot to argue whether these changes are good or bad, for the essential fact is they do exist and the best we can do is gain an under­ standing of each. phenomenon by intensive research. This has been the primary response of social scientists with one exception. Little sub­ stantive research has been undertaken into the field of remarriage and divorce. The classics