stewbe part of the green arevolutio rdn s icu needs extra union stewards to cope with increased demand for their services. If you are interested mail [email protected] ews " %NEWS Allegations, funerals and porn

Talk to the hand... eed to Icn Pro-life campaigner accuses Lord Winston of "aggressive" Has the Government brought in assault knee-,erk leg slation in response to one case of Iniernet adop

comment, but he is said to deny that the incident WILLIAM FOSTER took place, Many people have expressed disbelief wise that the researcher behaved in such a way, and it ritain's foremost exoert on fertility research Looking at the difficult world of has been suggested among College circles that the B and one of the world's most respected eating disorders accusations are a way or smearing a high-profile researchers is facing a police investigation of advocate of the "cloning" research while raising assault following last Monday's crucial vote on the profile of their own, small group of "women in stem cell research at the House of Lords. bobble hats". A College source said that he The claims centre around a usually low-profile believed the group were "simply capitalising on an The Editor comes out. Kind of, .pro-life movement, members of which were exaggerat.on". he likes fairy lights.... {protesting outside the Lords as peers arrived for Chelsea Police were unable to comment on the vote. A number of young women, mostly aged whether a complaint had been made against any in their twenties, had set up 101 cardboard sheep particular individual. Meanwhile, ITN confirmed cience im Parliment Square while wearing lab coats to that they had also heard about the alleged inci- Imark the occasion. More news in brief and night- dent, and a spokeswoman added that it was too Lord Winston was giving an interview for a tele- mare wordsearches early to say whether it was one of their camera vision network, believed to be ITN, on the subject crews who had been carrying out the interview, but of the Bill. Ruth Davies, together with "about said that they were "looking twelve friends" said she was abbatical spin into it". "going in to the Lords" when! In a telephone interview What does it take to be an ICU she overheard the Imperial* sabbatical, and do our current with Felix, Miss Davies said College researcher answer- bunch have it? "It epitomises the way the ing a question with what shel whole cloning debate has believed was a lie from her*: been carried out - self- knowledge of stem-cell?* eedback important scientists trying to research. She told Felix that Medical school, manic street silence the voice of the pub- she "calmly, without jumping* preachers & more curries ic." forward, said 'no it is not"'. „ She added "I was part cu- Ms Davies claims that. I larly horrified to be touched physically by Lord Winson. I eviews Lord Winston angrily swung| Lord Winston: Extremist target or tyrant? am profoundly committed to Traffic- Drew's ho* tip. Beautiful round and "looked like he^ the pro-life cause, opposed to abortion and embryo creatures, nice legs, shame was going to hit her", She experimentation, and to feel on my face, my about the script... alledges that the peer then put his hand over her mouth, the aggressive hand of somebody who has mouth and shouted "Shut up. You keep out of it. been so closely invloved in the destruction of I'm a scientist". Subs + Socs human life was deeply repugnant." The 24-year-old barrister explained that she Get fit and get into space Lord Winston was elevated to the House in knew embryonic stem cells are "by nature 1995, and is best known for his work in human fer tumours" and therefore more dangerous than adult tiiity Interviewers have frequently commented on stem cells, contrary to what had been said in the how the walls of his office are covered m photo- interview. She added that she had "picked up quite graphs of childless couples that he has helped a lot of science during the campaign", despite hav- through IVF techniques. Unfortunately, he was More reports, and a spare ing had no scientific training. She also claims that unavailable for comment as Felix went to press Sports Editor would be nice. the TV crew ignored his actions, pretending not to Sarah Macken, director of the pro-life group in Mine's out playing drinking have seen anything, but several witnesses wit- games question, denied that her reporting of the incident nessed the incident. was merely capitalising on a misunderstanding to Ruth Davies added that she had visited Chelsea arloons raise her group's profile, soon after she paid her Police Station in order to make a formal complaint, The gimos go camping second visit to the Felix Office in a day. and is currently planning to press charges against the peer, but is "prepared to accept an apology". Felix was unable to contact Lord Winston for Felix 1196 Cover artwork: "By Blind Faith", Anon 2000

Felix 29th January 2001 News Fast stream

Me Civil Service Fast Stream Programme !Bl

Interna tional

Nig ht

Buffet Dinner,

Cultural Show

& After-Show P^rty

1st Februar y 2001

Reception: 6pm Venue: Sherfield Building Full Tickets: £14 Special Offer: £10 Tickets Available From Union Front Desk (members) www.su.ic ac.uk/osc iiviurdered student remembered Hflemorial service held for former IC student murdered while teaching in Burundi

Martyr church was where Charlotte was con- 3EBEK PICKARD obtained her PhD. The biochemistry depart- ment was kindly represented by Dr. David firmed just a few years ago and also intend- he Memorial service for Charlotte Wilson Leek. The government of Rwanda was not ing to marry her Burundian fiancee, Richard T (age 27) was held last week at St Alban only represented by it's ambassador to Notereyimana, later this year. Charlotte was ihe Martyr Church in Holborn, London, on London, but also by the headmaster of the buried in a small church next to her father in Ithursday the 18th of January. Her murder, school in Kigali where Charlotte taught and Barley ..Hertfordshire, on Friday the 19th of made such an impact in teaching science in January with close friends and family attend- ,,(lth over 20 others, including her fiancee, ing. -curred while travelling to Bujumbura in an inspired and enthusiastic way. Her loss Burundi on a bus. Its random brutality will be deeply felt by all her pupils at the The VSO, along with Charlottes family have shocked many people. school. set up a memorial fund which will be directed The moving service for Charlotte at St Alban, towards the school in Kigali where Charlotte Charlotte was a student in the Biochemistry was led by the Venerable Howard Levvett. taught. cepartment at Imperial College and graduat- Music chosen by her family (her mother ied with a B.Sc. in 1995. After obtaining a Margot, and younger brother and sister, Anyone who wishes to make a donation to PhD in molecular microbiology she decided to Richard and Catherine) and the church this fund should send it to:- kelp the charity Volunteer Services Overseas included pieces from Faure's Requiem which [VSO) in their work in the devastated country was beautifully sung by the Anton Bruckner The Charlotte Wilson Memorial Fund oi Rwanda for a one year period. Her enjoy- Choir with church organist accompaniment. c/o VSO ment and dedication to the post was deeply The Imperial College choir in which Charlotte 31 7 Putney Bridge Rd appreciated by all her school pupils, and was a soprano sang Henry Purcell's "Music London also by the government of Rwanda who were for Queen Mary's Funeral" - again beautiful- SW15 2PN keen to employ her in restructuring the sci- ly sang in the lovely acoustic of St Alban ence curriculum for schools there. church. The whole congregation joined in a To build on what she had already achieved in number of hymns including a her short time in Rwanda would be a marvel-

The memorial service at St Alban was attend- poignant "Abide with me". bus gesture that she would have appreciat- ed by many of her friends and fellow students ed. Torn her time in the Biochemistry department This was a fitting memorial to Charlotte, it IC, as well as from St. Mary's where she attended by over 300 people. St Alban the

n brief

EROTIC SCANDAL? be placed upon the web "in a couple of tor for Laura Bush with details about the liv- hours". Felix photographers and reporters ing quarters, the offices had been cleaned,

Areas of the basement of Elec Eng has will always carry identity cards and do not and many of the halls repainted. However, "een sealed off for the past couple of days- presently use digital cameras. If you are ever the republican entourage and their mindless a"egedly due to a member of staff being in any doubt please contact the Felix Office leader were in for a shock when they went to nvestigated by local police for possession of on 48072 or talk to a member of the bar use their computers. The letter "W" was :"e9 a I pornography. Sources within the staff. Action is often taken against people found to be blacked out or missing on almost Apartment say the suspect's computer and falsely claiming to be working for Felix. every keyboard in the White House. ="ice have been sealed off while CID investi- Seriously annoyed by the prank played on gate GEORGE, UM, BUSH them by their democratic adversaries, the conservatives were forced to crawl around under their chairs in search of the missing FELIX PHOTOGRAPHERS The United States may be proud of its abil- ity to alternate peacefully between liberals keys. In some cases the W's were stuck below desks, in others they were taped to Student attracted suspicion last Friday and conservatives, but practical jokes are moving ceiling fans and air conditioning ""en he took a number of photographs of a clearly stili very much allowed. In the transi- vents. It is really a shame the republicans 5niale member of the bar staff in the Union tion last week between the Clinton and the were humiliated in such a childish way, I ar while "acting suspiciouisly". Although he Bush administrations all seemed to be going would have thought scorpions and tarantulas -la lrt1ed to be working for Felix, he was in as planned for the new inhabitants of the much more appropriate. - Matt Session of a digital camera, and told the White House. Bill had the left the ceremonial erinber of staff that the photogrpahs would welcome letter on his desk, Hillary left a let-

Felix 29th January 2001 News N E-i^yr T 0 KNOW

Kneejerk reaction to net adoptions?

/ice MARIAM GHORBANNEJAD for children adopted from overseas. It will intro- impractical, argues the Internet Service duce sanctions against people attempting to Providers Association. A code of practice to deal with illegal material is already being followed ththe Twins Belinda and Kimberly lay blissfully adopt children before assessment, including a 130 internet firms who are members of the asso- unaware of the media frenzy surrounding them £600 fine and three months in prison. However ciation. when they were snatched by Flintshire social this will still not apply to adoptions from David Kerr, chief executive of another group, the services on the night of Thursday 18th of America, meaning it will be possible for domestic Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), said ' I think January. Since their arrival in Britain, they have adoption tests to be by-passed by would-be it's been generally accepted by ministers and the11 assumed celebrity status. Judith and Alan adopters in this country. Presently, anybody police that the internet service providers don't Kilshaw, the couple who adopted the girls for wishing to adopt a child in this country has to and can't be expected to know what's on their £8,200 over the internet, have been threatened undergo extensive testing lasting up to six servers.' He continued that the industry had tried with legal action from an American couple, Vickie months. Social services have to carry out to stop material appearing on the web whichj and Richard Allen. This couple claim they had assessment of suitability and medical and police would be illegal to publish in other forms in thi already bought the twins for £4,000 from Tina references have to be obtained. UK. What remains unclear is what status ISPs Johnson, the head of the adoption brokers the Adoption websites are to be cracked down on. have, since some people say that they are just, 'Caring Heart Agency'. To add to this bizarre set Health Minister, John Hutton, plans more regula- Iconduits for of events, the childrens' natural mother, Tranda tion of the internet. He has said that information Wecker, now also says she wants them back. internet providers will be prosecuted for rather than 'Fury' was Prime Minister Tony publishers, Blair's reaction. Jack Straw , and should Home Secretary, was also known therefore nol to have been equally disgusted. be account Public opinion is one of revulsion. able for any Scandals such as this recent one illegal materi- seem to have a much greater al found onI affect on the Government than them. ' 1 any pressure group could hope to E u ropeanl have. The White Paper on adop- d i rective tion that was published in which will | December was not due to be become law brought in until January of next within the year. However, the process has The so-called "net twins", left, and right, Judith Kilshaw next two been accelerated and is now due years to be brought in this April. The agrees. But the Department of Health's propos- Government have proposed to tighten laws on relaying information that breaks British adoption als contradict this. adopting from abroad, eager to be seen acting rules. Enforcing this rule could cause problems, Evidently, in the Government's haste to bring in swiftly in the wake of the Kilshaw fiasco. due to the vast quantities of information which is reforms to our adoption laws, they have failed to Currently, the 1976 Adoption Act is in place. accessible via the internet. Internet Service properly think through the new legislation. A This act makes it an offence for any advertise- Providers (ISPs) are not licenced and are not prison sentence seems a bit harsh while a fine of ment to be published indicating that a parent or obligated to register anywhere. Their three main £600 is almost pointless, given the huge guardian want their child to be adopted, or that a functions are to provide access to the web, 'host- amounts of money people are willing to part with person wants to adopt a child, or that any person ed web space' and bulletin boards where articles to adopt a child in the first instance. Greater reg- other than the local social services authority or can be posted. Therefore, it would be feasible for ulation of the internet, although important, will voluntary adoption agency approved by the sec- the ISPs to ban a website. But fears are that this do nothing to stop anyone hoping to adopt a retary of state is willing to make arrangements could give a site notoriety, prompting many more child in the future. The Department of Health did for the adoption of a child. people to look at it. The law would only be appli- not consult the industry before rushing to their New Labour, like the previous Conservative cable to British - based sites, so the Government own conclusions, meaning we will have laws Government, have been slow in reforming adop- would have no power to shut down any foreign which are impossible to enforce and so be no tion laws. The Adoption ( International Aspects ) based sites. The sheer scale of the internet further forward in stopping the sale of children Act 1999 has been passed although it has not makes the task of monitoring all information on the internet. yet been activated. This will ensure protection found on 'hosted web space' and bulletin boards

m News 29th January 2001 Felix — * , it ItllMfS

Editorial Staff Ghost of Christmas Past

: Editor John Clifford quite h;' that f'nf writ Deputy Editor....Katherine Dyer-Perry llplltla!bit- earlier dp in the evening, before Assistant Editor Pascale Taylor The Time Where EverythjnffGoes Wrong- or from ordlha fy , Ivc ,!k whP c6nslSer1 |ep: o'clock as eyerybni eh : Arts Andrew Wheeler Ihem a b I to rriy: ted (muppets} mui:si|i;a§di Books Jonathan Matthews peart bf elfi rWlllit- is^(i^!efMs:N^it^ill!&^^i:''V 'cf f put Business Bashari Bakari ing, of c i ve their i i : ' Current Affairs Nina De Roy I.",, You see, everything goes deceptively & Mariam Ghorbannejad On |h|-||j||||||||p||^|oM' my fe1||IS ijSrrfe>othty: upjiiUDi|ti a pertain point, when e Siiili^^i|.|il|^Si^ ly wrong at once, and Film Drew Nienhuis >uty and the'lovely Ph- ||ft on the stair;: p softly,, The Roco.-ery Music Andy Houldsworth & Tom Bailess ;Mends to oome at Midnight, when Irealisi that Science Matt Kaplan got to be..done pome hell.::::ors:;hi:g|fiistlr;:; Sport & Cartoons lain Angus decorations:: up until further notice, The Editorial assistant Alisdair Wren :ftristma| tree ||||||or ,l-|airy- IIS^II withjjelscUonipapeiriS going up t H| Graphic Design..Justin van der Toorn tjht extn lorts l| iilCand tioi last 'im? d), it's mm Photography Jonas Lindsay fi> £veryor|| HillflHUH! Writers ately has told me* off; "foilfief bad tuck"" the correct response! William Foster, Rik Edwards, iemg "have you seen this Matt Kaplan, Tom Bailess, rface) and "Why the I*" Jonathan Matthews, Mariam ire you keeping sports Ghorbannejad, Alisdair Wren, ports in the Christmas Stef Evans, lain Angus ree" ii(tbe correct ..... Katherine Dyer-Perry, Pascale Taylor ikettl. : & John Clifford

knpvy,, I'll, not the ontf: one to do this- my aunt if extremely proud of leaving Photographers

J^ear,:: tp;;Sy;Ph 3^ t! X ! (» H t Jonas, John & Gareth that she tends to |ut this

ye^r'|c.j \ofJast Felix, The Portacabins, ir's, I did thtnk tbisiwas Prince Consort Rd, ::."ord thing, but I was walking around . ..' . : ... : London, SW7 2BB id's Court last night, (I've ha .ill my illflg' cowlbf l *l|^l|p|^|Mk annlhi lA$t#ia tbi** mtftfpi wArlH rijnw*k swt> ^pHiam Internal tel: 58072 :ht-time watksf ecerjtly. because of last External tel & fax: ! 11 Hi3 Old' 020 7594 8072 d .it the minute. I'm >b's aiU these E-mail: [email protected] iBk;%$t0§ reason fof^rnetd! id theili||||ll|Ep', ha||* ifllIleerfijiT but :6iWfiack on crutch Felix is produced for and on behalf of es, or Pascale will be writing my obituary, Imperial College Union Media Group either or which should cheer you up!) and is printed at MCP Litho Limited, .Sp,.1 .W&ni to fosterjjetyyork plpfopje vyBq ||f irtallf Saturday"seft a | reft event; "ftipl : :: milne I Units B2 & B3, Hatton Square, lllpjl mif controllerf fasfpfr 16 - 16a Baldwins Gardens, rne,you hSyi im', luc igesl'f : London EC1N 7RJ

..,!/ Illft'lenid it pi .] Jo: i|li gnywhereion Felix is a registered newspaper: : Ei|rth :strucIiohi'tOi"S rsndortf ISSN 1040-0711 part;off he. planet i- Copyright © Felix 2001. entertaining lottery in which ali countries are inyph, Except the UK

§ Felix 29th January 2001 Stef Evans. David Allman (Education and 020 7594 9430 Welfare) and Interna! - 'Willi!! extension 58064 020 7594 9419 dpew@ic ac.uk IP.. 3Itrfi $ n 0 0 a i!| Dying to be thin?

Martin Thomson, s8rah,cooke#ic,a STEF EVANS Union Advisor >,...!..: veryone worries about their appear- Anorexia Nervosa 020 7594 8067 E ance, their weight, height, skin hair etc. Physical signs can include with severe Like most concerns they pose no problems weight loss, dizziness, constipation, poor ;:il|§i;jll| . Cj>«tr until they get out of hand and go to the circulation (feeling cold) and sleep difficul- extremes. Thus the line is crossed from a ties. Women also experience the stopping Nkjhtiine, health interested into an obsession. of periods, which usually returns once the starving has halted. Often Anorexics will Ing and Information Eating Disorders experience osteoporosis (thinning of the service, 6pm to Sam Eating disorders affect many people. bones). Psychologically there is depression, during torm time Anorexia Nervosa sees the individual starv- mood swings, intense fear of gaining 020 76310101 ing them while Bulimia Nervosa has pat- weight and a distorted perception of body terns of binge eating followed by vomiting weight and shape. Behaviourally those IC Health Centre and laxative abuse. Either way the relation- affected will wear baggy clothes, exercise 020 7584 6301 ship with food is changed and are often due excessively, lie about eating meals and will to feelings that make the affected person deny any problems associated. IC Counsellors. unhappy or depressed. It maybe associated with sadness, guilt, loss, fear or anger. Bulimia desire to get better, possibly altering your It is difficult to say how many people in Here physical signs can include sore lifestyle, behaviour and circumstances. The the UK are affected by an eating disorder. throats, repeated mouth infections, reason for your problem also has to be Many go undiagnosed but it is believed that dry/poor skin and sleep difficulties. Periods investigated and changes made here as one in every hundred young women are don't stop, but can be irregular. Due to the well as re-shaping your ideas about food affected by Bulimia and a smaller, but still vomiting, those with Bulimia often have and weight. Remember though you are not significant, number by anorexia. The Royal poor teeth and will avoid going to the den- alone. Medical advice should be sought and College of Psychiatry estimated in 1992 tist. Psychologically those affected feel speaking to a counsellor could be extremely that at any one time 60,000 individuals depressed, and exhibit mood swings and important especially with look at the rea- were receiving treatment for an Anorexia or highly emotional behaviour. Behaviourally sons for the eating disorder. bulimia. Currently, the Eating Disorder they will eat large amounts of food followed Association believes the figure to be more by vomiting or the taking of laxatives. Loosing weight likely 90,000, with many more undiagnosed, If you wish to or need to loose weight for particularly those with Bulimia Do you have an eating disorder? health reasons its best to do it via a con- It is not only young women affected by Here are some questions. The more you trolled programme. Begin with cutting out such disorders. Women of all ages are answer yes, the more you should think the crap in your diet; junk food, fatty cakes, affected, as are men. Approximately 10% of carefully about your relationship with food. chocolate; replacing with additional fruit those with eating disorders are men and and vegetables. Take additional exercise, many report that the disorder began at Does food always occupy your thinking? and build up slowly. Remember you can school, with them being overweight and Do you feel any of these emotions when speak to your doctor about advice on your bullied because of it. Older men also suffer faced with food; fear, anger, guilt, shame? diet and changes to your life you can make periods of eating disorders at various Do you think about your weight, body stages of their life often associate with size and the amount you eat, all the time? Info/Help emotional pressures such as the loss/ill- Do feel you would be happier and more ness of partners/parents, relationship successful if you lost weight? Eating Disorder Association HelpMne- breakdowns, job changes and stresses. Are you critical of yourself all the time? 01603 621414 (weekdays 9am to 6.30pm)' Gay men make up about 20% of men with Do you think thinness equals happi- Information plus resources in your area an eating disorder, and is such a problem ness? due to the 'body beautiful' image of the gay Eating Disorder Association website male community. If you feel you have a problem www.edauk.com With all these figures taken into consid- If you feel you do have a problem the eration, there are about 1.115 million peo- first step (slightly cliched) is to recognise Plus also remember there is your doct"r ple in the UK with Anorexia or Bulimia it. From here there must be a genuine or the College Counsellors

J Pulse 29th January 2001 Felix The Internet & E-oommerce Society 01 MIC

Closer Look

into the FUTURE

of Technology

Where is the internet going?

How will It affect our lives?

1 % view of 2050"

Professor David Targett (FUTUROLOGIST)

"Retail and mmlfcy: e-ccsmmerce success factors" Colin Love, Managing Director, Innovations Group

Venue: Lecture Theatre 220, Mechanical Eng. Dept

Pre-register at internetsoc@hotmaiLcom or visit www.e-cs.org Fe£ IX

McSween's team has shown that the mete orite contains many water soluble elements in the interior compared to those in the outer Science in Brief skin. The team's hypothesis is based on the logic that the interior of the meteor is similarj in composition to the interior of the planet and the exterior of the meteor similar to Mars' Deadly Virus Created In water poor crust. Mice, Could Humans See Falkland Island Fire The Same? ft/ Severely Damages Fragile I Site of Oil Spili Scientists in Canberra, Australia accidental- Eco-System ly created an aggressive and deadly mouse virus last week that some worry could produce exacerbated this past weekend by pounding microbes deadly to humans. The virus formed surf which broke open new holes in the ship's A five day fire caused by exploding ammuni-| when a mouse immune system gene was hull. The spill has now spread over more than tion on the Falkland Islands is feared to havei added to the mousepox virus in an attempt to a 1,200 square kilometer (460 square mile) lead to the deaths of thousands of| develop a contraceptive to control rat and area. "The environmental damage is extreme- Rockhopper penguins and albatross. Tha mouse plagues. The result was the creation blaze began on January 12 as British Troops of a virus capable of killing many different were exploding ordnance from two Argentine, breeds of mice, even those previously immune planes downed in the war with the UK \i to mousepox. Dr. Bob Seamark, director of years ago. The fire laid waste to the small the Cooperative Research Center for the nature preserve known as South Jason Island] Biological Control of Pest Animals found that about 480 km (300 miles) northeast of the vaccines for mice which normally prevent southern tip of South America. Adult pen- mousepox were also rendered substantially guins might have been able to flee the flames weaker against this viral strain. but chicks at this time of year have not yet become mobile and were likely burnt to death. Fire crews did however witness burnt) The key concern is obviously not for lab Rockhopper penguins crawling from the dev- rodent populations but for humans. Scientists ly grave" said Ecuadorian Environment astation. As if the physical blow dealt to the at the center say that the mouse virus itself Minister Rodolfo Rendon who is deeply con- seabirds on the island was not bad enough. poses no danger to people, but that "this cerned about the area's unique insects, 90% of the tussac grass supporting the avian same modification could be made to human plants, birds, and reptiles (particularly population was destroyed and will take al viruses and this would enhance their virulence Darwin's Finches and the Galapagos least 3 years to recover. Sadly, this fire only or at least (strengthen) their ability to kill peo- Tortoise). Pollution experts from the US aggravates an already grave situation for the ple" Seamark said. Responsibility is key. coast guard have been dispatched to protect nature reserve which has experienced a 30)1 "Discoveries such as this are being made all the wildlife refuge, but even with the aid of decline in bird populations over the past two the time," said Dr. Annabelle Duncan, chief of the world's best the situation does not look decades. molecular science at the Australian govern- good at all. ment's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organization, "The impor- tant thing is to ensure they are used for good, Water Beneath the not for destructive purposes." She has urged a stronger Biological Weapons Convention, a Martian Crust treaty ratified by some 140 nations pledging not to develop or stockpile biological weapons. Water may have recently flowed on Mars says Harry McSween from the University of Tennessee. While, abundant evidence in the Galapagos Oil Slick form of surface features suggests that water was once extremely abundant on the planet, Worsens samples of volcanically formed rocks from the red planet show little sign of having solidified from magma that was once rich in water. The huge oil slick near the Galapagos However, analysis of a meteorite from the red Islands, which started oozing from a grounded planet known as the Shergotty, suggests that oil tanker nearly a week and a half ago, was the planet had a warmer wetter past.

Science 29th January 2001 Felix Another Word Search From Your Science Editor

pue to the popularity of the first word search, your science editor has produced another. Same thing as last time, simply answer the clues on the fight and find them all in the grid below. And in the unlikely event of you completing it, just deliver it to the Felix Office by Friday 1 pm and you could

wn a £20 Waterstones voucher. Usual Felix rules apply- have fun. Matt (Congrats to the two who correctly solved the last one!)

K T E R E R C A M Y R T A I D

E W C H L H A Y 0 I Y M L U P

P G S U H C R A P P I H N N N

L 0 L C A N R B E T Y A Z A 0

E N 0 C R U I S E R T H E Y I

R 0 R E Z S E T C A T N 0 C S

E M T M N R R 0 T M B E D Y R

R I N L S 0 S R L A I V A G E

0 C T A F D I 0 A Z A I V O Y

T R G T G A S S S A R U I L 0

A A A Y A U E Y U M A E N 0 R

N A X N N C G N A T L U C R T

N U C I I E C C L G N P I D S

R O S D N I W H E O T o M Y E

G E N O C U L C E R I T C H D

1. The first American naval units to arrive at the scenes of the Vietnam and Persian Gulf Wars were . 2. Operating system developed at AT&T Bell Labs in 1969. 3. In the 2nd century BC, the Greek astronomer compiled the first trigonometric table for solving triangles. 4. Common chemical that melts at 800 degrees Celsius. 5. Crater Lake in Oregon occupies the crater of the prehistoric volcano Mt. . 6. The Galapagos islands in the Pacific Ocean are a province of . 7. Crocodilian unique to the rivers of India. 8. The first scientific illustrator, this man drew the ornithopter as a result of his interest in the flight of birds. 9. This is the study of water on the Earth's surface, excluding the oceans. 10. Chemical formula for #4. 11. Bruising of the brain, a cranial . 12. The largest collection of the artist in #8's drawings are found at this location. 13. Famous astronomer, the science editor's personal hero. 14. Large flightless carnivorous bird from the Tertiary Period. 15. Film with Jodie Foster, made in honor of the scientist in #13.

IMPERIAL COLLEGE SCHOOL OF MEDICINE CAREERS FAIR

(Open to all 4th and Final Year Medical Students and PRHOs) Wednesday 7 February 2001: 4.30pm - 7.30pm (includes refreshments) Foyer, Sir Alexander Fleming Building, South Kensington Guest Speakers to include: Dr Elizabeth Paice, Postgraduate Dean

Stands to include representatives from: British Medical Association, Royal Navy, Royal College of Physicians, General Practice, Radiology, Psychiatry, Voluntary Service Overseas (VSO), Ophthalmology, Surgery, Pathology, O&G, Anaesthetics, Imperial College Careers Services

Felix 29th January 2001 What would I do?

Could you be a sabbatical? It's election time you see, and time to decide very soon, you're tempted, here's what you'd be letting yourself in for...

So you fancy running a £3.5 million annual need to perform clever enough to get into Imperial can learn a turnover organisation with 30 full-time and 200 well in front of experienced senior administra- lot on the job, and no-one expects you to be part time staff, six sites, two hundred clubs, tors, academics or governors, who've seen plen- perfect. Humility and a sense of humour and an three deputies and around 1,000 elected stu- ty of 'your type' before. You will also have to ability to get on with people are useful additions dent officers? speak to the press (don't shoot your mouth off) if you want to make the year a pleasant one. It Well some of your more formal responsibilities and often represent Imperial to the wider world. can form a solid start to any career, but don't do are below, with some advice about each of * Be responsible for the efficient organisation it just for CV points, as you will need a commit- them: of the Union - if there are problems in any part ment and an ability to give a damn about stu- dents to get through the long winter nights. * Uphold the policy and further the aims and of the organisation, people aren't getting along The good points are - more experience of more objects of the Union - at the end of the day it is or things need to get done, you need to sort it useful skills than anything else imaginable, you'll your job to see that Council's wish (that is, what out. Tact, integrity and maturity are good make new friends and many ex-sabbaticals I the students want) is done. You will also need virtues here. have met remember much they enjoyed about to be familiar with a great deal of regulations * Be ultimately responsible for the finances of their sabbatical year, even if it was twenty and policies, as people will come to you for the Union. If the Deputy President (Finance & years ago. You are your own boss (to an extent advice about them and others may take you to Services), or the Union's finance department - remember that whole democracy thing), and task if you break them. goofs up, it's your fault. You don't have to be a you enjoy more responsibility than many gradu- * Be the ultimate representative of the Union - budding accountant, just be sensible and stay ates have after years building up their career. you represent people on College's governing on the alert. bodies, both academic and managerial, and Don't be put off by all of that though. Anyone

Committee, House Committee (this deals So, not afraid to make difficult decisions? * Budgets with maintaining all Union premises) and Be unpopular? Sit on lots of meetings? Your biggest task over the year is to bal- Trading, Services and Retail Committees, Deal with lots of bits of paper? Say "no" ance the budget. This means getting as which deal with bars, catering, ents, advice quite a lot? This could be the job for you! much money as you can out of College and dividing it fairly between societies, salaries and the Union Shops- you'll definitely find you have a finger in every pie. Seriously though, DP(F&S) is effectively and subsidies. the bank manager of the Union, balancing "Training and advice money in against money out, chairing a "College Committees To ensure clubs run their finances properly number of committees based around You have to attend a huge number of it's up to you to train up the treasurers- and finance and services, and attending a lot of College meetings, ranging from the very to be on hand when they need help. Like it meetings around College. You'll have to important (a few) to the very dull (very or not, your office is the first one along, and use huge amounts of tact and professional- many). On very many issues you and the when people come in to ask a question, ism to know when a club is going to cause President will be representing the students- they're almost certain to remember what financial trouble, and make sure it doesn't these are mostly College working groups, you say, so you'll have to make sure it's happen. and will take up a lot of your time. right.

These are your main areas of responsibility: "Union meetings You'll be chairing Union Finance

Freshersrair The^DP(C&SXsna^ ^JinionGo^^ if about 200 companies are contacted and overseeing the running and management of Within the Union you are an ex-officio leaflets are sent to them detailing the price all ICU clubs and societies. He/She will member of all committees and it is quite of stalls and the date/times of the fair also be responsible for ensuring that the worth popping in to various meetings from etc... The companies will then mail back CCU clubs and societies run in accordance time to time just to get your face seen even booking orders. The DP(C&S) will liase with ICU policy, Imperial College policy and if nothing else, especially at the beginning with the conference office to make sure the law. You are also responsible for ensur- of the year. As a sabbatical the DP(C&S) that the rooms are available (and booked) ing that the ICU health and safety policy is has a duty to ensure that levels of student for the fair. adhered too and that all aspects of ICU run representation are maintained on all com- as safely as is practicable. mittees this means that the DP(C&S) will often find him/herself attending commit- "Day to Day Most of the DP(C&S)'s time is spent in day *College Committees tee's such as Trading, Services, Retail etc... to day problem solving and information dis- The DP(C&S) is responsible for represent- These committees are essential to the semination tasks. The DP(C&S) spends a ing recreational student activities to democracy of the Union and you must lot of time answering questions, on the College. This requires that the DP(C&S) sit attend wherever possible. phone, by e-mail and in person. a number of committees, each of which meet at least once a term and are the "Freshers Fair appropriate place to voice concerns regard- Probably the single biggest task that the ing the various areas of sporting activity. DP(C&S) will face is the organisation of

Feature 29th January 2001 Felix The DP (E& W) shall oversee Imperial The DP (E& W) chairs the Academic Affairs excludes the Union Disciplinary Committee for College Union's day-to-day duty of care for Committee and Student Development reasons of impartiality. students in the realms of education and Committee as well as playing a significant part An involvement of RAG will naturally occur due to the role of a Sabbatical. Taking part in RAG welfare. in the Welfare Committee and the Accommodation Committee. These provide activities is advised, as in addition to being a "Representation to College lines of communication through which com- great way to relax, it also gets you to meet stu- The DP (E& W) shall sit on the following ments and idea as well as problems and help dents College Committees. Some committees have can flow in both directions. the Deputy President DP (E& W) as a named Being a member of both ICU Council and the "Casework member in the Constitution or the Chairs will Executive Committee provides the channels of The job includes a certain degree of casework; approach the DP (E& W) directly at the begin- communication and an opportunity for account- Students whose problems may be helped from ning of the academic year. Others have a num- ability. Sitting on the Union Finance Committee links with College or those students with "gen- ber of student representatives nominated by provides a means of input on the Union's eral student life problems" may be those stu- Imperial College Union. These are usually finances and exercises the financial responsibili- dents who could be helped by the DP(E&W). arranged over the summer, usually by the ty bestowed on the Deputy President Those students who require legal advice, advice President in consultation with those who may (Education & Welfare) in the CU Financial of a more practical nature such as visa prob- be nominated. Regulations. Being ex-officio on all Union lems, problems with landlords, problems with Committees and sub-committees provides for money may be better served by seeking help input on all matters relating to ICU. This from the Union Adviser. "Within the Union

As Editor of the Union's most widely read publi- amount of it, but you still have to make sure it's do a lot of computer work. You have to get good cation, effectively you're in charge of the all ok, and get some adverts. at DTP very quickly, and teach it to a lot of peo- Union's communication. Which is good, because ple. You also have to keep an ageing network up in theory no-one can tell you what to do. "Advertising and running, or things will start to go horrifically In practice, there's three major limits to this. Although you get some money from the Union, wrong. Firstly, you have to pay for it. Secondly, Felix next year's Editor will still have to raise a mini- still costs the Union quite a bit, and they have a mum of £20,000 by getting adverts, any way "Writing perfect right to know where their money's you can. No adverts, no Felix, no job.... Although you don't write the whole thing, you'll going. Thirdly, if you go round upsetting every- still need to cover a lot of stuff- anything not one, you'll have very few stories, and very little "Management covered by your team is now your problem. support the next time you get yourself into trou- Unique role this one- you're the only manager You'll also feel a strange compulsion to write a ble. who sees a process right through, you'll even do lot anyway. You won't get a chance like this So what does a Felix Editor do (apart from the delivery and cleaning. Essentially though, you again. obvious)? can't write it by yourself, and you need to recruit and keep an enthusiastic team of sub-editors "Editing "Union Handbook and writers, right up to the end of the year. Finally, despite the cleaning and accountancy, Together with your predecessor/successor, you you are still responsible for a weekly, registered have to put a very important 180 page book "Computers newspaper, and given that if you really screw together. You won't have to write a huge Biggest source of pain in your life, you need to up, you can go to court, never lose sight of this.

The job of ICSMSU President will not be contested until later on in the year, and will only be voted on by ICSM students- but we'll bring you more details of this post closer to the time.

Felix 29th January 2001 Feature Sabbatical spin

Well, it's halfway through the year, so how do ICU's sabbatical think they're doing. Feli carried out the traditional mid-term interviews.

You've been President for six months not be in agreement with the them as to your line of the argument. now, has it been what you expected? College, secondly, you should get on You've got to be able to get on with Mostly yes, I mean there's always with them to make sure that they're people. A sense of humour, essential, areas that are not quite expected, more receptive to your views. Some if you can't laugh at yourself then but I think the amount I've worked is of my work in the structural review of don't do this job, because you'll need a lot more than I'd expected or had the Union has been quite hard, in some. Essentially there's no one hoped, but I think some of that that a lot of people have very difficult overriding skill, it's a whole set of dif- worked I've created for myself, It has views, and getting them to agree on ferent ones. I would also add that a certainly been very interesting, an anything is quite a difficult challenge. lot of people grow into the job, you experience unlike any other. might not think you have all of those What would you say were the quali- skills, but you'll be surprised what What have been your main chal- ties that make a good President? you're capable of when you're in this situation. lenges this year? Patience and tact are two very useful "It has certainly Keeping on good terms with the virtues, the ability to stand on your What would be your advice for some- been very interest- College is always a good challenge, feet, the ability to believe in yourself, although a difficult challenge, good advocacy skills, so that if you one considering standing? ing, an experience because you have two competing are trying to present something to a Don't be deterred by everything I've like no other" problems; one you have to represent group of very distinguished people or just said, the job is very interesting the students, which might or might whatever, the ability to persuade even if it's very hard work

You've been DP (F&S) for 6 months What have been the main chal- also going through something of a now, has the job been all you lenges that have faced you? staff transition at the moment, and expected? Well, coming from what one would that's been quite interesting to han- In some ways it's been all I expect- call a non-union hack position I had dle. And budgets, naturally, budg- ed, in other ways it's been very dif- to spend quite a lot of time getting ets are always a challenge. ferent from what I expected. up to speed on how the whole thing Overall, it's been as good, if not works, but I think that's given me So what are the qualities that make =tter. an advantage in as much that I a good dpfs? don't have any preconceptions and I Inquisitiveness, the primary charac- What have you enjoyed most about can approach the whole question of teristic of a dpfs is to ask searching what we spend our money on and it? questions and to carry on asking why with perhaps a fresher mind. I think the thing I've enjoyed most them until you actually have the full The main challenges internally have has been working with the staff and picture. You need to have a good been the continuing closure of Beit "You need to be the other sabbaticals, to be per- head for numbers, obviously, and Hall, which has had an effect on our fectly honest I couldn't hope for a you need to be able to take difficult able to take lots of trading profits which has been a nicer more talented committed and decisions and justify them to very shame, but we are confident that difficult decisions dedicated bunch of people experienced people in all sorts of next year that will improve. We're' and justify them." different fields.

Has the job been all you expect- lenges during this year? things in. But that's not been a ed? My main challenges have been not massive failure, it's just that it's It's been a little harder than I to get pissed off with people, I been one of the hardest things I've expected, I've done quite a lot think I've managed it so far, and I done and I think it could have been more work than I was expecting to think I've managed not to piss that done better. do, but it's been fun. many people off, which was one of my big aims for the year. What qualities would you say And what were your other big aims make a good DP (C&S)? for the year? What have been the worst things You have to be friendly, you have I didn't really have many major that have happened- what have to be quite organised, but most of aims, because now clubs and soci- been your main failings? all I think friendly is the best one eties run pretty well at Imperial, I haven't had major failures. The because people come and talk to "My main chal- I'm just trying to build on what documentation policy is quite a you all day, and you have to be everyone else has done, make difficult one, it's been quite hard to good with people. lenges have been things easier, make our clubs more implement and it's been a struggle to not get pissed successful than they are already. to make sure that everything is up What do you think will be the main to date so that clubs aren't getting challenges for your suqcessor? off with people." What have been your main chal- penalised when they have handed To do better than I have done.

Feature 29th January 2001 Felix Has it been what you expected? strange, it's very cathartic. tening, ask the proper questions It hasn't, you expect certain things, I which gets more information out of expected it to be challenging, and at What are the main challenges youVe them. Someone who cares, someone times it's as much of a challenge as I faced this year? who basically can often see the wider thought, but sometimes it goes Don't know how successfully we've picture but also can focus on the indi- beyond that and it's also one of those managed them, but, Wye coming on vidual's needs. bizarre jobs that gives you a unique board, so many hundred students, feeling. It's difficult to really describe, quite far away from the main cam- What do you think would be the main but it's what you expect, and it's not. puses, also the increased amount of challenges for your successor? It's more work than you think, there's representation we have on Postgrad I think it could be interesting, with the more time to be ploughed in than you committees; it's been a complete way educational funding is, and with naturally think, but it's also reward- nightmare trying to find postgrads to the potential for certain departments ing; you expect it to be rewarding, fill the roles, though we have, well, to be in deficit for quite a consider- though it's, some days, when you've the majority of them. able amount of time, I think a serious "You have to be helped somebody solve a problem, or number of departments will be laying someone who can you've ended an issue that's been What would you say are the qualities off staff. It's something to remember going on quite a while, and it makes that make a good DP (E&W)? and keep an eye on, and ensure that listen." you have a warm glow, that you've I think you have to be someone who the teaching and learning is always accomplished something. It's very can listen, someone who enjoys lis- maintained at the high standards.

You've been Editor for six months the issue out on time has been a Tact and listening skills are impor- now, has it been what you expected nightmare- my first issue coming out tant, as people are going to tell you so far? two days late was my biggest night- things, and you have to be very care- I knew it would be a lot of work, and mare, and things all went floopy ful to distinguish what they want you it's been even more than I expected, straight after Christmas, but are to print from confidential; sometimes but it's also been a lot more fun, a lot hopefully getting better. it's a subtle difference. Organisational more stressful, a lot more challenging Unfortunately the nature of the job skills are preferable, but not essen- and a lot more worth it than I thought means that things go wrong which tial. I think persuasion, ability to listen it would be. What I didn't expect was are out of my control for which I get and knowing when to strike and when how the two groups I work with - the blame- it's just something you to be quiet. You need a sense of Union and Felix people - would play have to live with. Keeping everyone humour, definitely. such a huge role in my life. I'm really happy is always going to be hard, but lucky to work with such a cool, enthu- as long as someone comes to talk to What would be your advice for some- siastic and talented Felix team. me we usually manage to sort things one considering standing for Editor? "I'm really lucky to out. I know I sometimes sound a bit pes- work with such a What have been your main chal- simistic- but if you can do the job, do. lenges this year? What would you say were the quali- It's been very tough sometimes, but cool, talented Felix As you might have guessed; getting ties that make a good Editor? I've never regretted it. team."

You've been President for six outside of the now huge sized cam- College structure. Medics are quite months now, has it been what you puses we now have, out towards unique and therefore have quite expected so far? Charing Cross, Hillingdon and unique needs, it's the nature of the Yeah, it's been everything I expected Northwick Park, so reaching every- course. If you're doing a Physics a"d probably more...It's proved a one, letting them know what's going degree you don't go in in the morn- y ery hard job, there have been lots on, who they can talk to, what's ing and see some eight-year-old °f Problems over the year. Becky did going on at home base and such has bleeding to death in front of you. a fantastic job last year, sorting out been difficult, but hopefully we've And the very nature that medics do a lot of worked around that by building up experience that means that they the course, but it's been hard the web page and newsletter, react to a lot of things very differ- Wor k- challenging but I've absolutely because the old methods of posters ently and have different require- '0ved it so far, and I'm only upset I'm n and word of mouth aren't good ments. To try and maintain the fan- °t allowed to do it two years run- ning. enough any more. tastic reputation Mary's and Charing Cross had for creating the best "I'm only upset I'm What would you say your main chal- So what were your main aims when rounded doctors possible and try not allowed to do Ses have been? you took on the job? and not let the research heavy ethos it two years ^Orrirnunication. With the merger it's To try and maintain the medics' of Imperial College take over the een very difficult to reach everyone ethos within what is now a very big medics. running."

Nix 29th January 2001 Feature two weeks ago, the ICU Curry 90's it was very refreshing to tion rights arguments. Perhaps jAII complaints should be you should devote a whole col- petition has drawn to a success- addressed to the Editor. If no read an article on Iran with some umn to the subjects tackled by ful close. While the "curry satisfactory reply is received, perspective. Even though it was extremists" behind the whole contact ICU Exec via the Union by a fellow Iranian, I hope that the album? debacle are pleased to have had President the article and the new millenni- Catering's support and are said um act as a watershed for better As for depression, perhaps a more upbeat issue next, concen- to have been chuffed to bits that, MEDICINE FAIL TO SORT IT reporting of affairs in Iran trate on happy things. Think posi- the curry has been returned to OUT through the British media. This the union, the responsibility for hopefully will generate better tive, post Christmas blues'' the next stage - i.e. the return of understanding of Iranian affairs Surely pre Christmas? The com- Dear Felix the curry every day, not just I in this country, which hopefully mercial concentration of hatred Wednesday - now lies with j, should be beneficial for both that is Christmas has gone. Seeing as so many are currently everyone who has ever bought countries. Days aregetting longer, things complaining about their courses, have stopped dying and flowers one to buy them again. I may as well add my ten cents. will appear soon. Look forward How would you like not to have a Fatemeh Beyad to the year ahead. People who visited our site were personal tutor? For those stu- no doubt tempted to sign our on- dents of the old Charing Cross Yours completely uninfluenced by line petition by the offer of 384 and Mary's first year clinical I KNOW I BELIEVE IN NOTHING anything, bottles of beer to be given to the medical courses this is a reality. BUT IT IS MY NOTHING curry fan with the most witty and Despite complaining, asking and compelling reason why the dish screaming they still haven't been Dear John, Andrew Jurd should be reinstated. Of the allocated, despite promises of Chem III many clever replies we had to them being here after the Xmas I imagine you are overwhelmed Thanks Andrew, glad someone sift through (removing references holidays, which is late enough as after last week's 'interesting' con- noticed my HI piece of hero wor- to road-kills and the like), we it is! I presume the case is similar tributions on the letter's page, ship. For the non disenchanted finally decided on a winner- with the new course students not but then I remember that I am indie kids amongst you, he is KATHERINE LEE, Maths I - well being allocated their clinical per- probably the only reader (must referring to the classic album by done! We will arrange with yon sonal tutors for those who start- be because I'm a chemist, too the Manic Street Preachers. I'm to collect your 16 double crates ed their firm rotations in January. much lab time you see). told there was a book of the of beer from Cobra. same name once, too -Ed Exams are close, any chance of I'm basically going to raise a Katherine's winning line may be getting some support before point I noticed ages ago, but is of BYE BYE GEOLOGY! found at www.icu-curries.com for then? Also, I'd like to get to particular relevance after the last the next few days. know a person well enough to issue's concentration on depres- Dear Sir, In the meantime, we hope you all give me a decent reference. sion. Am I the only person who's enjoy your forthcoming lunches Currently, this isn't possible with noticing your subtle references If our new rector really is a 'pas- at the Union, and don't let the the structure of the clinical to The Holy Bible throughout the sionate believer in the impor- infamous IC apathy put you off course as it is, we never see the yea -? No, I don't mean the tance of scientific education' doing anything again - we didn't! same people for more than 6 favoured work of the world's rich- (Felix 1193, p6), then he clearly weeks in our firms! est non-profit making organisa- tion (amongst others), but the doesn't regard geology to be a All the best science. I wonder how many Dan, Martin and Steve Name Supplied album. Not all of the album is about depression though, it's other people in senior manage- ment hold this opinion. And UNFORTUNATE MISUNDER- As with all anonymous letters we amazing that this album is still shouldn't we all be a little wor- STANDING get, names are completely confi- deeply relevant to a lot of issues ried? dential no matter what -Ed society faces. I'm surprised you haven't made more of the state Dear John, Simon J Wright As part of the ICU Council mail- HOPE SO of affairs in America, especially now that Tipper Gore's further Mathematics III ing list, I was really disappointed to find that Hamish's e-mail Dear Felix, removed from the political scene, and the Brady Bill seems to be INSERT CURRY PUN HERE headed "Last Council" referred to the previous council, not the I'd just like to congratulate Felix working. Countless songs can be Dear Felix last council ever as I had hoped. and more specifically Mariam applied to Bush's beliefs and not As was reported in News In Brief Ghorbannejad on her excellent just the obvious song about capi- and the letters sections of Felix As ever, Someone article on 'Iranian prison sen- tal punishment. Political correct- The deadline for letters intended for publication is Wednesday 12 noon tences' in Monday 22nd ness seems to be less of a main- January's issue. Having grown up stream issue now, although drop into the office or email [email protected]. Letters may be edited for in England through the 80's and cloning laws have reignited abor- ength but not grammar or spelling.

29th January 2001 Felix - Equal Opportunities vs The World

Lily Macey, Equal Opportunities officer also asked the workers in the council building its expansion and the need to recruit more staff to 1^ role at ICU self to "keep Christmas celebrations and decora- accommodate the change. The purpose of the I doubt if many of you even knew that there tions to a minimum". The reason given for this sur- meeting is to decide what qualities these new prising scrougery was to avoid "offending non staff would have, in order to decide this they con- aS such a thing as an equal opps officer at ICU Christians". Now, imagine if you will that the exact sult a report from the human resources depart- rllCh less what they do when they're there. Well I same council had asked an ethnic minority - a ment which details the current workforce ethnici- .q;y knew that there was one when I lost out to a -ertain president's sexist views just before the ill- "non Christian" culture if you will - to "Tone Down" ty, sex and disability statistics. The report shows celebrations of a major religious, festival. There that the work force is severely lacking in mentally 3ted SNKPJ Rag Week 2000. The equal opps ,fficer is the person at the union who, with the would have been outrage, a front-page story not disabled Japanese women. There fore the motion ielp of my fellow welfare officers, stands up to just a crappy two inches at the bottom of the cur- is carried to give preferential employment to men- rent affairs summary. "Racist Scandal in London tally disabled Japanese women. Needless to say allege, other union officials and union members that the actual attributes of the prospective behalf of anyone who feels that they are not Borough", "Oppression of Minority's beliefs" or some thing along those lines. Here the headlines employees that would be beneficial to the job in eing treated fairly in any way. So basically I hang hand were not discussed at all. round, adjusting the union Equal opps policy and should have read "Oppression of Majority's beliefs" because that is basically what positive dis- Although this is a comedy sketch which has viai)t until someone has a problem. Fortunately at lCL'N -ot many people seem to. crimination is about the discrimination against the doubtlessly lost much of its comedy in it's retelling majority. here by me it is based however loosely on the would like to have a small rant now and in truth. Companies and Colleges should not choose anting issues (when Stef has space) about the Another example of a situation where positive employees or students on a pick and mix basis i flings that make me angry. The reading of which discrimination is rife is human resources. This is just to satisfy the demands of an equality nay help to describe the concept of Equal caused mainly government pressure to improve obsessed government. When in actual fact in Opportunities a bit more clearly. employment statistics. If a company is only employing white males then it is considered racist doing so they are discriminating against deserving people. Equal Opportunities Vs Positive Discrimination and fined or taken to court. This is also true of Positive discrimination is not positive at all and I educational institutions. Ever wondered why there Equal Opportunities means just that, Equal. hope to illustrate this by the way of two short seems to be more and more girls at IC year upon Not artificially created and improved opportunities xamples from recent media. year? There has been a steady increase in num- for anyone majority or minority at the expense of everyone else. Create opportunities and encour- In the run up to Christmas I happened upon a bers from the days when it was a men only col- agement. Allow everyone to have chances and mall article in the Daily Mail (must be true) about lege. A silly and hugely over exaggerated exam- then on their own merit allow to advance them- ome strange goings on in a Labour Council bor- ple of such discrimination is a Hale and Pace selves. Having flexibility in the work place, giving lugh in London. According to the article the sketch. It is set in a boardroom meeting of a big everyone equal opportunities and equal access to Council officials had decided not to put up the tra- company between the main heads of manage- equal representation for their individual rights. litional street Christmas decorations and had ment. The topic of conversation is the forthcoming

at an unusual time this year," and assured that EXTRA COSTS their products, pointing to their ranges of contract When out-competing ICU for the right to run a services set up specially targeted at students. "something would be sorted out". bookshop in the college, Waterstones promised However Carphone warehouse senior sales man- that the Imperial College branch would become agers are convinced the problem is real, and have their flagship academic store. Waterstones book- been threatening to stop dealing- with Orange STRANGE SNOW shops at university campuses have been the sub- should they continue their discriminatory policy. Last week Kevin noticed that the snow falling in let of complaints by students who find that text- college appeared to be slightly abnormal. The books are more expensive in these stores than in INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION Snowflakes appeared to be elongated and had a Vaterstones branches on high streets. The com- This year residences have a shortage of rooms stringy appearance. Apparently the mutant snow pany has accepted the student's observations and which are in halls which are open over Easter. was yet another consequence of the huge amount explained that as the sales of text books were Some International students needing to stay in of general muck and grime in the London atmos- higher in the university branches, price increases phere, this particular effect being attributed to effected by publishers would inevitably be passed detergents in the atmosphere. With the effect of * more quickly to customers in these branches. the polluted atmosphere being so apparent with Kevin has also noticed that there are no second the snowflakes, Kevin wonders what it is doing to A mostly libellous column. Kevin is a him. i hand books for sale in the on campus store, unlike random entity who knows nothing about at j their Mallet Street and other stores. nothing ADVENTURES WITH BAGPUSS

I -EGAL REFUSAL halls over the holiday period have been accommo- Currently Bagpuss is safely curled up in Orange have recently begun to refuse students dated in Southside, and are moving to Evelyn DramSoc's cupboard, but is apparently restless to Mobile phone contracts, solely on due to the fact Gardens for Easter. In a typical example of one get out. Current ideas over the future of the huge 'hat they are students. One Carphone warehouse part of college not coordinating its activities with cat seam rather tame, some however have more Manager confused as to why one of is customers another, there is a four night gap between the end potential such as seeing how often we could get it "as being consistently turned down by Orange, of the Residences' license period at Southside, to appear on the television news. Kevin believes Systematically adjusted the credit check form until and the first date at which rooms in Evelyn that the cat could be used to maximum comedy 1 °ecame clear that it was the word student in the Gardens are available when booked through the and RAG earning potential on a grand tour of °Ccupation box that was causing the problem, Conference Office. Kevin has been told that the London Landmarks. ^ange deny preventing students from accessing root of the problem was due to: "Easter occurring [email protected]

Felix 29th January 2001 Columns/Union ARY

PUT IT THERE

Monday 29.1.2001 5pm DaVinci's: Alternative Music Society

19:30-21:00 Southside Gym: Shotokan Karate BEGINNERS WELCOME

Tuesday 30.1.2001

1pm AstroSoc: Professor Jocylyn Bell-Burnell "In pursuit of Pulsars", Physics LT1 12-1 Inquiry: Civ Eng 301 [email protected] 6pm CivSoc Free talk by Mark Whitby (Wh tby Bird + Partners, VP Inst of Civ Eng) on "Engineering the future" Civ Eng 301 6-8pm Aiuchi Jiu Jitsu: Wilson House Rec Centre BEGINNERS WELCOME 8:15-11ish Community Action Group Soup Run: Weeks Hall Kitchen No Commitment, just turn up 8pm Davinci's: Bar Trivia

Wednesday

l 31.1.2001 x C 1 o 6-8 Wilson House: Shorinji Kempo a 9-1 Union: Cheesy Wotsits. Total cheese in dBs 1 a e Thursday

1.2.2001

12:30pm Southside (Upper Lounge) 1 OPPOSITE Motorbike Club 1 WAITROSE COFFEE HOUSES 5:45 Wilson House Rec Centre Self T U S « ( « * .| | 1 « I

([) Diary 29th January 2001 Felix Qefence Class 6:30-8:30pm Wilson House Rec Centre Aiuchi Jiu Jitsu BEGINNERS WELCOME 8:15-11 ish Weeks Hall Kitchen Community Action Group Soup Run: No Commitment, just turn up 6:30pm Internet & E-Commerce Society Mech Eng 220 Prof. Davies Tongett 18:30-22:30 Southside Gym: Shotokan Karate BEGINNERS WELCOME 5-11 Davincis: Cocktail Night 8pm dBs: Salsa Night

Friday 2.2.2001 1pm Southside (Upper Lounge) Photosoc 5pm dB's Animal Experimentation

8pm dBs: Common People

Saturday 3.2.2001 10-12 Southside Gym: Shotokan Karate BEGINNERS WELCOME

Sunday 4.2.2001 Interhall Football London Motorcycle Show, Alexandra Palace, contact ICU Motorbike Club 2- 4 UDH: Shorinji Kempo 3- 5 Southside Gym: Shotokan Karate BEGINNERS WELCOME frequency

BS2000 Lowfinger

Simply Mortified Who's Cot The Biscuits?

(Grand Royal) (Elemental) On reflection, definitely not similar BS2000 is the side project of to Black Grape as somebody sa« Beastie Boy, Adam Horovitz and to me. Certainly not. Lowfinger are tour DJ Amery Smith. With creden- way too experimental and sober to tials like that, I was expecting some- be compared with Shaun Ryde;s~ thing pretty special, maybe a bit hip- sad attempt at a comeback. Therv-e hop, maybe a bit punk. What you get a balls-out (even the girl) rock band is neither of those, and is like noth- with an emphasis on blasting ou ing I have heard before. If compar- some quality, funky tunes. There's, isons must be made, it sounds like an unhealthy interest in fingers Bis on acid. (Super Finger, Airfinger, Pulling The tracks are mainly short, With The Fingers, Beach Finger upbeat ditties, played on a synthe- and I don't doubt for a minute tha siser, while someone plays along on it's dirty. But hey, what's a fun-lov drums in the background. There is a ing group of kids doing if there's no very underground feel to this, and no Spooks some fascination with body part doubt that is the intention. Some of somewhere? If this is the shape o the songs are great fun, cute little S.I.O.S.O.S. Volume One things to come this year, then it's pop numbers. My favourites are going to be a cracker. Yeari / like BS and The Side to Side. (Artemis) Christian Some of them are just plain strange. There is no doubt that this is very pooks are an American hip- mentioning. Sweet Revenge is far experimental. I feel the band is just Shop act consisting of a more laid-back than the rest of playing around trying to get some female singer and four male rap- the album, with a relaxed beat My Vitriol inspiration, rather than trying to pers, or perhaps that should be a and flowing vocals. Meanwhile, make good songs. There are high- female singer, three male rappers Swindley's Maracas has a latino Finelines lights, particularly the first few and one obscure alien hybrid who feel and though it's not bad in tracks, but the good bits don't last at one stage insists that he's itself, the one-track change in (Infectious) long enough to make this album actually "two guys multiplied by style doesn't quite work. great. 93 guys". Well I believe him any- Most of the other tracks have The long awaited debut album Tom Bailess way. If you're wondering what a good beat and the odd interest- from the "hardest working band in S.I.O.S.O.S. stands for, I'm afraid ing feature. However, there's still British music" is finally here, the you'll have to keep on wondering. too much of your average, pre- wait has been well worth it. From As for the music, two tracks dictable hip-hop fare with little start to finish, the sonic assault is stand out in particular. The pol- melodic interest, lots of repetition relentless, both shimmering and ished Things I've Seen has a and several hundred expletives. full-on, neck throttling buzzing gui- catchy chorus and a good bass An interesting skit sequence tar riffs, thundering drums and line, and the fact that it's their runs through the whole album, in more hooks than you can shake a current single would surprise no- which a promoter tries to con- stick at. This is eclecticism meets one. But perhaps the best track vince each individual member of pop meets rock all in one. Thel on the album is Karma Hotel, the group that the other four have influence of Sonic Youth, My which boasts another smooth, far less talent and should be Bloody Valentine and Nirvana are addictive chorus, a clever chord dumped. This serves to add vari- ever present. The highlights of the progression and a rapped story- ety as well as being humorous. album are without a doubt the sin- line that really makes you listen S.I.O.S.O.S. Volume One is gles, Cemented Shoes, Pieces to the lyrics as our "hero" gets certainly an impressive album, and the re-released Always: You''\

n involved in a game of Russian though you'd have to be a big fan Way. An incredible album from a roulette. of the genre for it to become an incredible band and my brother There are also a couple of essential purchase. knows the bassist! changes in tempo and style worth Dave Edwards H/arv' |

1/ Frequency 29th January 2001 Felix Singles Album

by Norm and Warul

phoenix WLM iflEverlast Kings Of Convenience Bpiii If I Ever Feel Better |f Quiet Is The New Loud f§y§iBlack Jesus (Dindisc) j| (Source) lllll (Tommy Boy) Disco of the most heinous kind.|i|§|||| The lead singer seems to be halfway ff§§||§§Another rap-rock crossover through some particularly nasty hor- thing going on here, but this one's ell, after the first listen it was clearly evident that the title of mone treatments. He's already had any quite good. The guitar riff sounds Wthe album was a blatant lie. Quiet is not the new loud, it's sense of self-respect surgically suspiciously like Nirvana's In DULL, yes DULL. DULL is the new loud. '"Why would anyone, who removed.The bass player slaps at his Bloom, but a hook's a hook, innit? has heard The Radar Bros' The Singing Hatchet, persevere with this?" f)-etboard like Mark Level 42 King You've got to give the man a hand I thought. Similar style, dissimilar impact. [faking himself into an onanistic fren- though, he manages to use "the Then something happened. But what it was I was truly unable to zy. The guitar strives for 'funky', and bird, bird, bird, yes the bird is the pinpoint. I certainly didn't embark upon a 700 page diatribe bemoaning just about reaches 'insipid'. On the word" and not make it sound silly. the spiritual and moral decay of society; wherein, I constantly argue whole, it's very Air and a bit lounge. Well... with my wife, rail against my daughter and, eventually, accidentally smother my young son to death (huh?!- music ed). No, no, I didn't do Dusted that but something definitely happened. Slate gray became crystal- clear blue. Clouds lifted and cool, cool waves washed over me. But Always Remember||F|| CP 72 first... ^^Snow Who are Kings of Convenience? Why a couple of lovely to Respect your||||||| Norwegian chaps answering to Eirik Glambek Boe and Erland Oye, no (Lakota) less. And the style of music? Well, let me just consult my Bible of the Mother f§| Esoteric (i.e. Smash Hits): death metal? Er, no. Two-step garage? You know I was saying I've got a Erm, don't think so. Ah, here we go, NAM! NAM, that's the category! "... else you'll get the beating of your real problem with bands that are And why NAM? Well the searing guitars and voluminous bass evoke life off yer father when he gets home." younger than me? Well Sod's sensations of flesh-scorching seas of Napalm and the ear-drum shred- Aah, those carefree days of childhood. Law I get another one! And when ding pulse of B-52 carpet-bombing. That or it's an acronym for New This most valuable piece of advice is they're this good, why bother! For Acoustic Movement (it's a crazy, relativistic world out there kids, you brought to us courtesy of Dido and such a small guy, Mark Greaney decide!). Yes, OK, it is the latter, we're talking nights spent around Rollo, taking a not-so-well-earned has got a fantastic voice. The way campfires beneath star-speckled skies, shimmering acoustic guitars, break from Faithless. The tune is the it transforms from a lilt to a growl pitch-perfect harmonies, woolly jumpers and woolly hats; 1,2,3, alto- kind of uplifting, spiritual positive high is absolutely phenomenal. gether now.... Personally I prefer squalid-bed-sit-out-of-tune-guitar- that really gets on my tits unless I'm croakily-whispererd-vocals and a nice bottle of Mad Dog 20/20. utterly blunted. Sometimes. Because this album is nothing less than gorgeous, from Alaska-J opening track Winning A Battle, Losing The War through to the finale Shivaree of Parallel Lines heart-fluttering swoons abound. Pop Idiots Something happened all right, what once appeared to be tar- Goodnight Moon nished rock became precious stone. §| (London Records) Subject matter? Well see if you can guess, here are some of the (Capitol) song titles Toxic Girl, I Don't Know What I Can Save You From, The birth of a star", glows the Boston What on earth do A&R people think Failure and The Girl From Back Then; and Lennon's on sale Globe. "A true original", slavers St. they're doing these days? Who on again. Yes, we've heard it all before (unrequited love and emotional Paul Pioneer Press. Frankly, to call it earth signs people like this? It's decay tied in with the destructive nature of love) but we just can't get shit gives shit a bad name. It yearns to absurd, this is absolute pap. The enough. So get down to the record store and buy this album or at he a Lynchian road movie in song form, title of the song suggests they're least down-load it from Napster, just give me chance to get to my °ut fails miserably. Lead singer talking about themselves, or maybe department and up-load the beauty. Only joking College Authorities! Ambrosia Parsley bills and coos with we're supposed to think that... I've already done the dirty deed. the voice of a pigeon sucking back heli- gosh, they're sooooo clever, aren't Chris um, while the backing singers "Oooh" they? afid "Aaah" with all the enthusiasm of rotting corpses. Ill 111 ^^^^^ BHiiP -.

: ; : . : : ' : mm :>-:->::.. i IBM

Felix 29th January 2001 Frequency Singles Again!! Winner!

by Nick Norm and Andy

Muse |Rae and Christian Bryoni Lynch, you

Plug in Baby Get A Life are a legend!

Not only have you won the (Mushroom) (Studio K7) NME Carling Awards Leather A fierce return from the Tim§| Not in the same league as their Jacket (RRP £ 150), but also Buckley plagiarists. Crashing guitars, massively revered hit you full on reverb and a spirit that spits Spellbound. There are some excit- ing and trippy bass beats coupled bile in your face. Muse are a changed get to go on a date with band. This year they could well braek with some interesting soul vocals Tom, Andy and Drew. You from the Radiohead shadow, and be a provided by Bobby Womack. lucky minx! Pop into the Felix very interesting prospect. London Unfortunately, they fail to fit office to collect your jacket c ' shows in Brixton have been lined up together in the overall wash of the greatness, and you too could for early spring, book your front row tune. look as good as this lady on seats soon, as it's sure to sell out. the left. Assuming you don't already, of course. Although give us a week to organise it's delivery. Llama Farmers Kings of Runners up will be informed by Note on the door Convenience email in due course. Thanks to everyone who entered. It was, (Beggars Banquet) Winning a Battle, of course, Queens of the Stone Age who were NME's These guys are so cuddly, bless their Losing the War album of the year. little cotton guitars. For a British band, they sound incredibly (Source) American, dropping vowels all over It would be so easy to rip this the place, frightful. The song doesn't apart, just like the others. Some really grab you, not as good as some barbed attack on their sensitivity, Smut Peddlers of their previous efforts, but it's OK. the fact that they probably got I have to say I have a real problem the shit kicked out of them on a Porn Again with liking bands that are younger regular basis at rugby practice. I than me... might use Alan McGee's priceless (Rawkus) insult, "bedwetters". But I can't, I cannot deny the rumor that I only listened to this album because Hatiras E because it's just so damn beauti- of the title and more importantly the X-rated promotional sheet (I ful. The simple harmony of two am selling this if any of you sick and desperate boys are interest- Spaced Invader |jp men with two guitars, singing a ed... bids kick off at a fiver). Having never encountered this hip-hop sad but slightly hopeful song. It outfit before I was ready to be influenced and certainly had an open (Defected) stands, prettily nervous, some- mind. where between Simon and The first couple of tracks definitely don't come at you the way I A great dance tune to get into the Garfunkel and Coldplay. "Even hoped they might have done. The slow build up and tame lyrics real- new year with. Comedy lyrics with though I'll never need her", they ly didn't inspire the soul. This aside, the mood is then livened up and quality bass line in a ragga style, sing, "even though she's only giv- with the middle of the album. The beats get heavier and more this one is gunna stick in your head ing me pain / I'll be on my knees uplifting and the energy and enthusiasm of the vocals leads you to until you get bored, fed up and snap to feed her, spend the day to listen on. At this point the whole thing falls flat on its face and the the CD over your knee. Darren make her smile again". These are experience falls as flat as its start. Emerson's Underwater Mix shines plain sentiments made glorious Not bad, but you would get fed up listening to tracks four and by their verisimilitude. This is the through. five over and over again. first time today I have heard any- Nick Ho/I thing I believed, and it feels good.

Felix 29th January 2001 books

William Kowalski John Le Carre John The Constant

Eddie's Gardener 11 C Bastard

published by

Published by Hodder and

\ Black Swan Stoughton mi: CONST/f. i GARDFNFR £5.99, out now £16.99, out now.

Eddie Mann is already a local world. Despite his inadequacies it Frightening, heartbreaking, and rytellers of our time. sporting hero when his plane is clear that Thomas really loves his exquisitely calibrated, John le shot down in Vietnam. His family grandson, and other members of Carre's new novel opens with the Published by Hodder and has a reputation for reckless brav- the Mannville community such as gruesome murder of the young Stoughton, £16.99 ery and heroism in war, but their Mr and Mrs Gruber the grocers and beautiful Tessa Quayle near fortunes have been declining for and Dr Connor, keep a watchful northern Kenya's Lake Turkana, Jonathan decades, so that they were no eye. There is also the most wel- the birthplace of mankind. Her longer the powerful Celtic clan coming woman in the town Elsie putative African lover and travel- who gave their name to Mannville, Orfenbacher, who in exchange for ing companion, a doctor with one Ohio. With Eddie's death it seems free groceries takes Billy through of the aid agencies, has vanished the Mann dynasty will end with his the initiations of adolescent sex. from the scene of the crime. Waterstones father Thomas, a reclusive alco- Billy has other companions in Tessa's much older husband, holic and architect of the ill fated the ghosts of his ancestors who Justin, a career diplomat at the business venture which cost the maintain a real presence in the British High Commission in Remember that Waterstones on family their money and their family home. As Billy makes sense Nairobi, sets out on a personal campus give a 25% discount to respected place in society. Then a of his life he also has to become odyssey in pursuit of the killers the books reviewed in Felix (only baby is abandoned on Thomas's reconciled with the misdeeds of and their motive. What he might for the current weeks books) doorstep with a note attached to six generations of Manns, as he is know and what he ultimately the basket reading "Eddie's quite literally haunted by the sins learns make him suspect among Bastard". of his forefathers. This is not a his own colleagues and a target This is the story of that baby; a dark tale however. Throughout for the profiteers who killed his Editorial coming of age novel, but one there is a strong vein of (some- wife. steeped in family legends, as Billy times black) humour and the nar- A master chronicler of the Mann discovers his place in the rative is imbued with Billy's opti- deceptions and betrayals of Is there anybody out there who world. The novel may bet set in mism. ordinary people caught in political would like to review books for New England during the 1970's This is a fine first novel from conflict, le Carre portrays, in The felix? As it is the beginning of a and 80's, but Mannville is so Kowalski, which combines a com- Constant Gardener, the dark side new year, I should hopefully be smalltown" and the Mann house pelling narrative with an assured of unbridled capitalism. His eigh- getting alot of new titles into the dike a southern states plantation evocation of place, peopled with teenth novel is also the profoundly office soon. The deal is that if you Mansion transplanted to the characters both humane and moving story of a man whom review the book then you get to north) is so isolated, the environ- grotesque. He maintains Billy's tragedy elevates. Justin Quayle, keep it. We get sent all types of m ent of Billy's upbringing is hardly perspective from childhood amateur gardener and ineffectual books not just fiction. If this Afferent to that of his grandfa- through adolescence in an entirely bureaucrat, seemingly oblivious to appeals to you then you email me ther. With Thomas increasingly convincing manner, explaining his wife's cause, discovers his own at [email protected] , or email addicted to Bushmills, Billy has to some resources and the extraordinary with any suggestions of books

a ' " back on his own resources to mysteries but leaving others courage of the woman he barely that you would like to see de al with the harsh realities of life, unresolved (perhaps for a had time to love. reviewed in this column.

Su ch as a Neanderthal school bully sequel?). Highly recommended. The Constant Gardener is a ar)d the monstrous neighbour in Published by Black Swan, magnificent exploration of the Jonathan 'he hou. se on the hill, Mr Simpson. £5.99 new world order by one of the 'ls not however an entirely brutal Adrian. most compelling and elegant sto-

Nix 29th January 2001 Books screen

The Claim Beautiful Creatures

Director: Michael of the early Californian gold rush. Director: Bill Eagles really isn't that shocking. The plot Winterbottom Also carrying the film along are Starring: Rachel Weisz, twists and turns it's way to an all Starring: Peter Mullan, Milla some great performances - in par- Susan Lynch and Alex Norton too predictable ending, and apart Jovovich, Nastassja Kinski ticular, Mullan's portrayal of the from one moment where a man guilt stricken town plutocrat and eautiful creatures is a film hits his head so hard that blood Based partly on Thomas Jovovich's resourceful brothel B about two women who are comes out from behind his eyes, Hardy's 19th century novel owner stand out. united when they accidentally kill nothing really stands out. The Mayor of Casterbridge, the one of their abusive boyfriends. It Claim is an epic story of greed, The film can be slow at time. has been touted as Thelma & Like Thelma and Louise, there is a love and betrayal set against the Indeed, the first hour, if you were Louise north of the border (the film good degree of chemistry between backdrop of the American gold cruel, could be considered plain is set in Glasgow) - not an inaccu- the two female leads (in fact,] rush of the 1800's. In other words, boring. However, the film redeems rate description, except it really there's a scene where I really! it's a Western with snow. itself with an excellent second half. isn't as good as Ridley Scott's film. hoped it was going to boil over, Winterbottom has gone to great but it wasn't to be) but unfortu- Mullan plays Dillon, an Irish immi- lengths to make the western feel Dorothy (Lynch) and Petula nately, it's not enough to carry the grant who has struck gold and in The Claim as haunting and (Weisz) decide to try to con a ran- film. In fact the two actresses made a fortune - he practically sparse as possible. The period som out of Petula's deceased struck up a good friendship on the owns the entire, isolated town of detail and snow-swept mountain boyfriend's gangster brother. Of set, which gives their on screen Kingdom Come, situated high up landscapes, are also stunning. course, all does not go to plan. The relationship an extra dimension. in the Sierra Nevada mountains. There isn't a great amount of visual style of the movie is a bit of His mistress is the local madam action in the film, nor are there any a mess, veering wildly between The directing really isn't anything (Jovovich) and everything seems shocking plot twists but the film pre-war industrial looks and wood to shout about, and the script is, to | to going swimmingly until the chief doesn't need them. The central panelled nautical style interiors. It be blunt, painful. The humorous railroad engineer arrives in town story is strong enough and the all has a sort of made for BBC bits are few and far between. All along with an impoverished and characters are varied and realistic. drama look to it. The acting, for too often the jokes are simply too dying Elena (Kinski) and her the most part, is pretty poor, predictable. Don't waste your time daughter. The engineers decision Don't go and see The Claim if although Lynch and Weisz are not with this film - if you want to see a on where the railroad should be you're in the mood for excitement too bad. decent female crime flick, get laid could make or break the town, or action. If you have tie for an bound on video (where - hey! - tl>e and Elena and her daughter carry intelligent and slightly different Bill Eagles says he likes his films girls actually get it on), and pray a dark secret from Dillon's past. movie experience, it could well be to be "Dark, Funny, and shocking". that the arts council stops funding worth a couple of hours of your Well, one out of three isn't bad. unremarkable Brit crime movies. The direction by Winterbottom is time. Make that two if you like contrived impressive. The film really man- one-liners and lock-stock style Beautiful Creatures is out now. ages to capture the excitement, The Claim is in cinemas now. cheesy slapstick humour. The main I the hardships, and the adventure problem, however, is that the film Tom a

Screen 29th January 2001 Felix sington

Traffic Competitions!!

t Director: Steven Soderbergh drug use, to addiction and crime. So now you've read the reviews, Remember the special student Starring: Benicio del Torro, As I've explained, desperately not now it's time to win the chance to rates they offer Imperial College .Michael Douglas and Don trying to give the plot away, the go and see one of the films we've students. As usual send your i Cheadle structure of the film is very clever. cast our beady eyes over this answers to this question to i The most influential man finds he is week. Our friends at the Odeon, [email protected] by noon at the end of the trafficking High Street Kensington have kind- teven Soderbergh's latest film Wednesday. S ly given us 2 pairs of tickets is an expertly crafted tale process i.e. watching a loved one for Traffic. Just answer this about the drug trade, explored become an addict, whilst the non- Last weeks answers: Mark Read descript police officer soon realises question: is Chopper, Geoffrey Rush played ] through a series of interrelated viewpoints. The film itself flicks he is at the top of the ladder, deal- Philip Henslowe in Shakespeare Don Cheadle and Luis Guzman periodically between four groups of ing with corruption at the highest in Love and Guy Pearce was in level. Each subplot interweaves appeared in which 1998 Steven LA Confidential. l people each involved with a drug Soderbergh film? cartel at different levels of the intricately so that the audience can organisation. obtain a full grasp of an extremely WON A SCREEN COMPETI- deep and detailed story. The Kensington Odeon is located TION AND NOT GOTYOUR Benicio del Toro plays a cop in just on the corner of Earls Court PRIZE YET? DROP film.felix darkest Mexico who soon becomes As can be expected the acting is Road and High Street Kensington. AN EMAIL. embroiled in the politics high up in straight from the top draw; with the organisation due to simply strong performances from an helping out the military in capturing impressive cast. The charisma of a" assassin. The next two story- Cheadle and Guzman works partic- of the union building. This week 'ines start out from different per- ularly well, their chemistry and two films are showing at the fol- spectives but soon merge into one. excellent one-liners giving a wel- lowing times: Catherine Zeta-Jones is the come relief to what can be very unsuspected wife of a wealthy intense scenes in the alternate sto- Tuesday 30th drug trafficker, who following his rylines. However, whilst Douglas is arrest, takes it upon herself to get impressive as the government offi- 18:00 Memento ner husband's trial perverted cial, Zeta-Jones struggles to cope 20:30 Chopper re9ardless of the consequences. with a part that has more depth This manifests itself as killing the than other roles she has previously Thursday 1 st rnain witness, who is being guard- played. However, this is just a nig- 'INEMA ed by two police (Cheadle and Luis gle and Traffic, will without doubt, 18:00 Chopper

Gu *rnan). Finally, Douglas plays be one of the films of the year. For those of you who haven't 20:30 Memento the new drug tsar for the US gov- realised, Imperial College has its ernment, whose daughter Traffic is in cinemas now. own cinema located in the Union The price is pittence, so go on, Ascends from a world of casual Concert Hall on the second floor treat yourselves to a film!

Felix 29th January 2001 arts

The Genius of Rome: 1592 - 1623 Imperfect Beaut) Royal Academy of Arts The V&A

he other day over my muesli, If fashion is your passion, then Twhile enjoying reading that quo- I head over the road to the V&/\ tidian (except Sundays) blast of The Canon gallery is hosting an unassailable truth that radiates exhibition called Imperfect Beauty from 119 Farringdon Road, EC1 The Making of Contemporary (i.e. The Grauniad), I must admit Fashion Photographs, that spills, choking on my coffee (and tipping a the beans on how those i-D and good part of it over my left leg), The Face fashion shoots are con- when I turned to page nine. For structed. The world's top imagei here I espied the screaming head- makers have allowed their sketch line 'Feminist cult around artist pads, Polaroid's and repro's to "has no basis.'" pasted together into exhibits so This headline alluded to a painting that we can have an insight into (Judith Beheading Holoformes, ca. how they work. 1611) in the latest exhibition at the You might think this is of no inter- Royal Academy (RA) and to its cre- est, but remember that the prod- ator, Artemesia Gentileschi (1593- uct of these shoots has great 1652/3). Judith is often interpreted power in our culture; witness the as Artemesia's response to being blame placed on fashion industry raped by her tutor Agastino Tassi. for teenage bulimia, for instance. Such an interpretation is under- So I was somewhat humbled to standable - the picture is a shock- conclude that the success of theii ing depiction of two women cutting final images comes from a good the head off a man. arrived at this conclusion (from The Cardsharps (Caravaggio, ca. idea, sheer hard work and a dose Now, Artemesia has been the sub- Artemesia, via the spirit world?). 1595 - pictured) is a fabulous por- ject of many an academic paper This controversy is more than I can trayal of two old scamps taking and even a recent best-seller stomach of a morning. So what advantage of a slightly credulous (Artemisia: A Novel by Alexandra can be going on? Cynics might (but, from the facial expression, Lapierre); but apparently, much of argue that this is merely a shame- slightly suspicious) young man. It is this is baloney, for it is revealed by ful attempt by the RA to drum up easy to see how this painting start- the RA curator (Beverley Louise phoney controversy for publicity ed Caravaggio's career when it Brown) that the painting is not purposes. And what a waste of caught the eye of Cardinal actually informed by the experience good PR girls and boys - the exhi- Francesco Maria del Monte, the art of being raped - but by observa- bition is great anyway, with works collector (and little-known inventor tions of public executions (and the by all the usual suspects (van of canned pineapple). This exhibi- work of Caravaggio, 1571-1610). It Dyck; Rubens; Brueghel - not the tion is absolutely superb and what's is not explained how Ms Brown Brueghel, but his son). more, it is a marked improvement of good fortune; not from any cor- on the guff (e.g. Turner: The Great porate manifesto or vast manipula- Watercolours) that the RA has tion by computer. Draw your own 0* been churning out of late. conclusions. W i IP*

Will Chris

j?:rlKfi€fVv;0ge: ".

Until 18th March 2001

Nearest tube* Green Park Nearest tube: Sou-

9 Arts 29th January 2001 Felix BOU ' YOU! mperial goes into Space Have you ever thought what it would be like to be in space? Do you find your- to have Imperial act as central student hub to co-ordinate component and self looking into the night sky and wondering: 'what if?' Or are you drawn to integration testing. Eric Trottemant, the Project Coordinator has accepted space by the challenges it presents to science, technology, and mankind as a this proposal, and now we need your support! whole? Then the SSETI project is for you! We are looking for people enthusiastic enough to spare some of their free The European Space Agency launched the Student Space Exploration & time to work on the project. We will not have as much engineering input as Technology Iniative (SSETI) officially last October with 300 students from some of the other groups might enjoy, but we will keep in mind the overall universities all over Europe, when the first steps were taken to build the first picture, and a good overall understanding of micro-satellite development. pan-European student satellite. Currently 16 European universities from Pisa And each member will gain an in depth knowledge of the sub-system they to Manchester are actively participating in the project, which will eventually are assigned to, acting as co-ordinator to a particular university. be launched on one of ESA's Ariane V rockets. Although this is not the first student satellite built (TEAMSAT beat us to that), this is the biggest project Undergraduates, Graduates and Academics are all welcome. At first glance undertaken so far, and certainly the most international. this project appears very engineering orientated, but it would be fantastic if we could recruit resources from all disciplines. Mathematicians and Each university takes responsibility of a sub-system, or co-ordinates with Physicians for calculation and communication, Computer Scientists for another group. They communicate with each other via web cams and IRC OBDH, Chemists and Chemical engineers to get to grips with the Li battery chats, and there is a huge database in ESA's Dutch offices. Examples of sub- Power supply and the Hydrazine Propulsion system. What about the systems are Payload, Spacecraft Structure & Configuration, Power, bio/medical students out there, I hear you cry? Well, there's still the possibili- Propulsion, Attitude & Orbit Control Systems, Communication Systems, and ty of getting an experiment on board, and I'm sure there's somebody out On-Board Data Handling and there are more. there just dying to make use of a micro-gravity environment!

Unfortunately, Imperial does not have its own subsystem. But it is not too Send us an email to [email protected]. (At last, an ic4life e-mail late to participate in the project. Soon each group will need test their sub- address! -Ed) system. This has to be done in a consistent manner, and has to focus on the integration of all the subsystems before assembling the satellite. Our plan is Imperial goes into Space

No doubt a few IC students resolved to 'go jogging every day' or 'join best Imperial College teams (men and women) and slowest legs of a sports club' on the the first day of this millenium, but how many of the day so there is a chance for anyone to win!! This year, Fila have you are still going four weeks later? Perhaps you found running bor- helped us out with over a £1000 prizes as an added incentive to you ing, and the weather this year hasn't helped... So here's a chance to all. take part in a competitive but exceptionally fun sporting event with your friends right on IC's door step. The traditional after race party then kicks off in DB's in the evening, where the Europeans try to out party the British, usually unsuccess- The Hyde Park Relays are the largest sporting event organised by an fully and we all try to dance with 'post-race legs'. ICU club with previous events attracting over 1000 partici- If you would like to take part in pants, and have taken place this years event, on Saturday every year since 1949. The 17th February, 2:00pm, you can race consists mainly of stu- enter at half the normal entry dents, but also includes loca jlljfee if you attend Imperial club teams, 'old-boys' teams College, that's just £1 1 per from various universities and team for men, and £8 for also IC staff teams. There is| women. also a great European feel to the event with many teams You can register or get more from Holland, Germany,! info at www.su.ic.ac.uk/cross- France, Belgium, etc. country/hpr or email [email protected] th Each team consists of either six Imen or four women, and they If you decide that perhaps a bit run around a 4.6km (3.3km women) loop around Hyde Park. After the a practise running around the park is required, then come along to race, a tea is provided in the JCR and prizes are awarded. Aswell as one of the athletics/cross-country clubs training sessions, see web- ;rzes for best team and individual results, there are also awards for site for details.

Felix 29th January 2001 Clubs & Societies The Felix Crossword 1196, by Wailer Ned.

Cryptic Crossword:

Across: Down: 8. Lunar pit to confuse when 1. Ignite that pointless Scot- tested. (3, 2, 5) tish poet! (4) 9. Beg to leap badly. (4) 2. Annie's slogan is next. (8) 10. Odin or Chaos does it 3. Begins with double point- with a roof overhead. (6) ed flan. (6) 11. We're royal here! (8) 4. 504 died messily when 12. Bad race loss gives rise split. (7) to sport with funny sticks. 5. The plane crashed into (8) Dumbo, perhaps? (8) 14. Pick up telephone to get 6. Games he proudly wears. the solution. (6) (6) 15 I hear prologue goes 7. Ten faces sound like ahead. (7) they're commanding Ron 17 Casserole had hard tailed to punch a head? (10) barman, perhaps? (7) 13 It's all legitimate when on 20 To bend from French deck. (5, 5) paperwork. (6) 16 Defensive measures have 22 Any reign overthrown due sheep bits. (8) to desire. (8) 18 Hold your bottle to tor- 24 Joint of peace's rudder7 ture the vino! (4, 4) (8) 19 One-eyed biking opportu- 25 Hair on mineral causes nities? (7) Resisting the tempation to say "Wazzup" so long after it ceased to be fashion- uproar. (6) 21 Parted drug for me in able that it's almost making a come-back, I greet you noble puzzlers to the 27 Great reef has plant? (4) having expressed opinion? crossword page. If truth be told, I can hardly greet you at all from underneath 28 Clickety-click, plumber's (6) the pile of completed crosswords in which I have been buried. You all excelled jig! (3, 7) 23 Sounds like a rope break yourselves last week with lots of correct entries. Our towering intellectual behe- caused a fight? (6) moth for this week is Mr Thomas Cobb of Maths III. He wins a piece of tinsel 26 Telephoned upon hearing which still seems to be hanging around the Felix office eminating bad luck and it squeezed out. (4) causing any mistakes you might find. This week, I have two pieces of good news for you. Naturally, good news this Quick Crossword: week can only be accompanied by bad news next week, and Guru Gingagal will fill you in on that shortly. First on the agenda, I have managed to kill the evil Across: Down: demon guarding the Felix prize vault in order to bring you a £10 book token, 8. Production (10) 1. Follows Alpha (4) unfortunately and unavoidably slightly stained with demon guts, should you 9. Subsequent (4) 2. Covetousness (8) manage to complete the crossword using the cryptic clues above. 10. Spanish rice dish (6) 3. Yellow fruit (6) If you want to win the token, submit your completed grid to the Felix office 11. Of the weather (8) 4. Nicked (7) before 3pm on Wednesday for a chance to win the token. In case you don't 12. Correct (8) 5. Not of offspring (8) know, and there is no reason why you should, we Felix types exist in the top por- 14. Denied (anag.) 6. Away from the coast (6) tacabin between Physics and the liquid Nitrogen tank. Although this means that 15. Immature (7) 7. Arousal (10) there is the facility to suffocate most of the Felix staff at once, it also provides 17 Worried (7) 13 ... of the Exchequer (10) us with highly effective air conditioning when that London summer heat hits. 20 Rolled paper (6) 16 Sulphur and oxygen (8) Why precisely the bottom portacabin remains generally unoccupied is a matter 22 Not relative (8) 18 Without order (8) of some speculation, though I personally suspect that Turnip Henry has locked .24 Lead vessel (8) 19 Young frog (7) away a particularly nasty crossword to be unleashed upon you as his final act of 25 Self-confidence (6) 21 Climax (6) revenge. Of course, it could be merely because the editor has a stair fetish. 27 Removal (4) 23 Go hungry (6) This brings me decreasingly neatly to the second of my tidings of joy. If you 28 Display (10) 26 Temper (4) prefer a quickie as opposed to all that long, laborious exersion that some peo- ple go in for, you may enjoy the alternative quick crossword. By a feat of spa- tial agility which shall remain unequalled until Russia successfully lands the Solutions to 1195: defunct Mir space station on Carol Vorderman, the answers to the quick clues on the left will fit in the grid also used by their cryptic counterparts. Thus, I have Across: Casts aspersions, Isolate, Percent, Igloos, Calamari, saved countless life-giving and eminently huggable trees, but more importantly Afternoons, Berg, Alga, Overlavish, Chopping, Skiffs, Adjudge. my own time so I can watch Countdown, which I hear is soon to require a new Enlarge, Mobile telephone. Down: Critical acclaim, Spotlit, number-cruncher. Good job, Seaboard, Apodal, Step, Convenient, Explainers, Until next week, don't have nightmares - we can get consonants from any- Hell, Scream, Backflip, Overawe, Inferno, Setting the scene. where. Wailer Ned

7 Crossword 29th January 2001 Felix Women's Fencing

h Victory! I Li by Guru Gingagal

IIC v Surrey 90v67

Capricorn Scorpio Getting back on track, with a great start to the New Year, a 22nd December-20th January 24th October-22nd November decidedly small IC ladies team travelled down to Surrey Uni for the return BUSA league match (we won the home match last Beware of PVA glue this week...as with This week you are adopted by an alien term, but were missing our star fencer, Camille R2 Datoo, this the sudden dissappearance of CITV's art host you quite rightly feel very special time). programmes...your craft work may indeed.... Just three fencers made it along - Kaptain Katherine Sisson. become a little unregulated Leucha 'Money Bags' Veneer and Cockney' Clare Grove - with both epee and foil being fenced by everyone. Foil was first, and although there was a great deal of level pegging to start with, about half way through Imperial secured a lead that they were Gemini Leo not to loose. Everyone performed well, and the final score reflect- 22nd May-21st June 22nd July-23rd August ed this - a secure win of 45 v 27. The epee didn't prove to be quite so easy, with Surrey rarely This week your luck seems to have This week you are very very hungry...rav- j more than 5 hits behind, and sometimes taking the lead. The turned...and it wouldn't be the only enous...dribbling all over the! state of our team didn't help, with Clare providing entertainment one....by the number of recent trips to place...gnawing your friend's arms...star- * by having to borrow kit off of Surrey, and then trying to fence the dentist it appears that your lover has ing hungrily at their stomachs....very cun- with a left-handed weapon (not advisable for the only right-hand- too....perhaps cautious foreplay should ning...you will never have to cook , ed member of the team!). Still, we managed to (just about) keep ensue.... again I our heads, with the Kaptain fencing the final bout, taking the score to 45 v 40 for Imperial. Aries Aquarius Let's hope for the same result thist week, when the women 21st March-20th April are fencing Reading and the men are matched against Royal 21st January-19th February Holloway. If anyone is interested in watching the matches, both 1 The little creature thats been living in are being fenced in dB's in the Union this Wednesday (31st 1 symbiosis with your liver breaks free this January), between 2:30 and 5pm. Feel free to come along and This devil may care attitude you seem to 1 week which is quite a shock all show your support. If you would like to try fencing for yourself, be adopting might leave you free and green and covered in goo.... please come along to the Union Gym on a Tuesday or Friday easy ....but spare a thought for the : lunchtime. demons....little bit selfish isn't it « Pisces £ Virgo i Walking in a winter DiscDoctors Land i 20th February-20th March 24th August-23rd September i It was a bloody cold Saturday morning, and we the This week you yearn for stabilty and Career aspirations begin to spiral out of «I insane/brave/least hung over of DiscDoctors ventured forth to you begin to plant your roots....which is control this week when headhunters j| Cockfosters (which was doing a fine impersonation of Siberia) to unfortunate as you had passed them off come knocking at your door...apparently 1 play Ultimate against Blue-on-Blue (BoB). 3s feet for such a long time now....and not so interested in the quality of your '' We used the first several points to practise our Zone and People are beginning to notice.... CV 1 Junk defence but due to the conditions they were not that effec- I tive. Also the hard ground (which supposedly was soil, but was Taurus Sagittarius I more like soft concrete) resulted in Big Gay injuring his ankle and 21st April-21 st May I so we lost the benefit of his handling ability. However, "The 23rd November-21 st December Claw's" knee injury had got better by this match and thus the Cross words arise this week , when tau- You are a little withdrawn this week....but team was not left lacking in talent r eans begin to feel neglected....ahhh poor there are some diseases that you just We soon switched to man on man defence and constantly little loves.... shouldn't share.... - forced BoB to throw backhand, punishing them for their depend- ence on sidearm throws. This defence was successful and with good interplay between SBG, The Package, Rob and the rest of j the team we slowly cruised to our initial aim of taking the first half. The first point of the second half saw BoB scoring. This was l ' Cancer Libra because "Macdonalds employee" the Package, macked the disc 22nd June-21st July 24th September-23rd October high in the air in our end-zone, gifting BoB with an easy catch to score.

^ch m uch danger this week...as you Strange scratching sounds from under Jimmy, Fukwit and Diva demonstrated to the opposition the fear of a dark and murky underground your bed are explained this week when idea of break-away cuts to the end-zone, with well placed hucks, SOci ety formula student apparently you discover your obsessive compulsive resulted in our score notably mounting.

1y" ars ^ making students out of jam and flatmate with an icepick lying there...des- With continued good play, and some nice first and second b|ts of 'cars. ( . perately trying to get out forgot you cuts from TC and Scot, we eventually beat BoB 17-11. had left him there....d'oh...

Felix 29th January 2001 Sport/Horoscopes Football - a great day out

IC1 - 0 Royal Holloway TEAM: Morley, Senner, lunge. The dirty bunch of ***ts. it more often. Dunkley, Gilmore (capt), Cowley, Still, we won by a mile. With no Comfy, Psycho or Gaite, Porreca (sub Pratt 40), The Tossers! - AOS Phillipo the squad to play Holloway Saslis-Lagoudakis (sub : Millman didn't look that promising, Malcom 85), Fumex, Boyce, Bunnet. - lain 'Robbie' Dunkley came up with Nick 'French' Fumex from the 2nds - John Don to make their debuts. To be fair SOP II 1 - 10ICVII Drinking with the freezing weather it was IC 2nds 5 - 2 Kings 2nds like playing on a bumpy astroturf An amazing result for the sev- A pint downing knock-out pitch, which therefore meant that A double header? League and enths with only our second victory competition? How childish! I don'l the game was scrappy and hard. cup? Captain injured? Pressure of the season but a great boost to think. However, the IC boys mangaged on? No worry's lads! team confidence. As the scoreline Early rounds, like all the rest to create soem chances early on, a suggests we totally dominated this were free from illegal gambling slick move down the right led to Kings were bad, very bad! We game except for a brief lapse Early on: Magic and 8th seed Tin Bunny hitting the post, and it was were all over them to begin with. when they scored whilst we were had to have a second pint befon generally promising. They held out for a bit but just already 10 - 0 up. Tim went through, lain was the when you thought the worm may first seed to go out against, thj Gl Joules got injured, and then have turned, up pops Boyceeee We were 6-0 ahead at half surprise package, Gary Robinson. rang himself an ambulance, well with a cross-cum-shot that curls time after Gopal had opened the Many further pints were drunk done Gl, sorry about the foot. Two in. Next up we have your sports scoring about 5 minutes in with a One by one the seeds fell. Tim dis balls managed to go over the editor latching on to a through ball clean strike from 10 yards. Sugi played a shocking disregard fo fence, into a garden. One was an on the left and driving in a shot scored his first of 4 soon after clothes and stripped. Paul Davie: impressive effort from George, a from the edge of the area. Sorted. before Andy Smith slotted home a went out earlier than expected beautifully skied shot. Otherwise Another, effort from TB from penalty for his first IC goal. A soon followed by Bola Bola am the goal came after about 75 mins, the wing put us 3 - 0 up then skillful direct run down the right Psycho Soberg. Don't ask me wh( when Tony broke down the left, Ritchie Pratt (the captain of our led to Gurdish's first goal and Sugi beat who. I'm trashed! 'crossed' the ball to Bunny at the ship) made a break through the and Matt grabbed another one Yanks looked on agog, as wel far post, who slotted it past their middle. A well placed pass to lain each before the break. they might! Songs were sung but appeals for offside. This wound and, one turn and shot later, we that's just what songs tend to do. them up slightly and they lost the were 4 - 0 up. We had been forced to play 35 So then, there was a final plot. Giving the ball away fre- minute halves on a tiny pitch after Mark "Spillage" Dawkins had pro- quently, Fumex and Robbie both Half time team talk? All well? SOP turned up an hour late and duced the Bola Bola Tankard but had chances to make it two but Not a chance! We need to work to our original pitch had been stolen whose name would be etched ont< neither could finish the excellent keep it! by their firsts. Despite the short- it for time immemorial??? chances they created. The only ened.halves we slotted home 4 It was between "Even; other notable event was the come- Substitutions necessary, but it more goals in the second half, favorite" John Don and the sturdj back of the captain of our ship all went awry! They came back, including a stunner from Matt challenger Chris Cullen. Steel) 'fast' who after a three month lay- two goals that should never have Cromwell: a volley on the turn glances met, Ritchie said go am off still managed to take some- been (of course). Magic (three in from the edge of the box. Gurdish down that beer went. bodys legs away just outside the three) got our fifth, in off the far scored after another storming run box, giving the spectators a heart post (was it a cross??? Of course down the left this time and Sugi Who won? attack. Other notable performanc- not!!!). Subsequent chances were put away 2 more chances and Ed es included the Giant, who had a created, but no, they were not to was very unlucky not to score It was Jon Don! superb game. AN G as skipper, be. Rash Kings (f**k 'em) chal- after a mazy run through SOP's so and Alan Cowley (from the half lenges came in. JP (not many called defence. Nice one. way line). Next up RUMS and saves today) got an unnecessary Now that we know what it then GKT in the semis of the cup. boot in the face and lain was lucky feels like to be on the other end of - lain MOTM: Malcom Dunkley not to be crippled by a two footed a thrashing we plan to experience

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Sabbatical Elections 2001 Coming Soon to a campus near you!

Nominations Open: 20/01/01

Nominations Close: 12/02/01

http://www.su.ic.ac.uk/elections email: [email protected]

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