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e WEEK Independent Student LENT Newspaper est. 1947 Friday 20th January 2012 Issue No 750 | varsity.co.uk
7 Science: Rock 5 Interview: Tony Benn refl ects on a political career 10 Features: ose Were the Days 20 Fashion: Get your kicks for the new year with a of the week that has spanned more than 60 years with David Mitchell pair of your very own personal trainers “Dear Diary, I might be some time”
Student rejects Oxford University offer In Features: Captain Scott’s diaries from his fateful fi nal expedition are uncovered for Elly Nowell, 19, sent Magdalene College, Oxford the fi rst time at a rejection letter after attending an interview at Cambridge’s Scott the college, before fi nding out whether or not she Polar Museum. In had procured a place at the prestigious university. News: The Duke of Nowell, who was applying to read Law, rejected the Edinburgh, below, college upon the grounds that her experience at arrives at Corpus to interview was one of “elitism” that bordered upon commemorate the “discrimination”, emphasising the “obvious gap” hundredth anniversary between white middle class students and minorities of Scott’s party at the college. reaching the South Pole In her rejection letter, which she posted on Facebook, Nowell wrote that Oxford did not “meet the standard” of the other universities she was considering attending. She went on to note that the buildings and grounds of the famous college, which was founded in 1458, in which the interviews were held were “intimidating”, declaring that this “allows public school applicants to fl ourish and intimidates state school applicants”. Nowell hopes to read Law at UCL instead, to escape the “traditions and rituals” of Oxford that she believes “refl ect badly upon your university”. Helen Charman SCOTT POLAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE HELEN CAHILL
MUSIC e W e e k n d , ‘It’s very freeing. Guided by Voices You take these Clegg visits Cambridge BOOKS Foule Readings, clothes off and Students challenge Clegg despite low protest turnout Esther Morgan you’re taking off FILM Steve McQueen’s a lot of burdens. Shame by Helen Charman Cambridgeshire Against the Cuts, had was disappointed with the turnout at Naturism is a great Deputy News Editor also spoken of plans to protest ahead the protest, stating that: “this clearly of Clegg’s visit: “We’re looking for- does not refl ect the national climate, ART Leonardo Da Vinci, leveller’ Nick Clegg’s fi rst visit to Cambridge as ward to welcoming Nick to Cambridge as is shown by the thousands who Taylor Wessing Prize Deputy Prime Minister yesterday was and explaining to him the devastat- attended the recent demonstrations interrupted by a vocal minority of pro- ing impact his government’s cuts and and strikes at the end of last year.” testors who had travelled all the way to austerity measures are having on the He added: “We need to gather THEATRE ETG’s King Lear, Cambridge Regional College to voice people of Cambridgeshire. I can only together and generate the momentum Liam Williams their anger at Clegg and the Liberal hope he’s listening.” that could be possible.” Democrats’ u-turn on tuition fees. ere was a large security presence at Another protestor, a student at Christ’s
Clegg, who read Archaeology and the college too in anticipation of poten- who wishes to remain anonymous, WEEKEND >
Anthropology at Robinson College, tial demonstrations, but the Deputy thought that their small but vocal pro- 3 visited the College for a tour of the car- Prime Minister arrived before any pro- test was still a success as Clegg was met WEATHER 0 pentry and bricklaying facilities there in testors and evaded a hostile welcome. with some form of obstruction. He told 2
support of apprenticeships, before then Upon emerging for the second part Varsity that: “it’s not just Clegg’s hypoc- 0 0
giving a question and answer session of his visit though, he was interrupted risy that’s worrying, but the fact that he 4
for Liberal Democrat members. by the three members of CDE, banging is willing to go along with the destructive 4 A sizeable protest group had been a drum and chanting about cuts progression of ideological cuts and the 4 8
expected to meet him, but the turnout One of the protestors, who described destruction of the welfare state.” 5 7
was small with just three members of himself as Hugh from Cambridge e lack of publicity surrounding 1 Varsity investigates 7 Cambridge Defend Education (CDE) Defend Education, shouted at Clegg the event and the distant location were 7 Look out for our new-look website, coming soon to a laptop near you
Cambridge nudism turning up. “shame on you, you hypocrite!”. both considered key factors in the dis- 9 Andrew Osborne, the secretary of Speaking to Varsity, he said that he appointing protester turnout. PS. 1GM 1GM 6 2 EDITORIAL JANUARy 20 2012 — WEEK 1
It’s amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper – Jerry Seinfeld. EDITORIAL
...24 pages of words, pictures, facts, opinions, thoughts, clues, statements, Inside conclusions, insinuations and the occasional flashof genius... Beginnings: In with the old DIgITAL cOnTEnTS InTERvIEw and the new Online: Interview 5 Tony Benn Tony Benn 5 n his opening statement to the Salon Indien has taken on an almost Our top 10 picks of 2011’s Former Labour Party MP and current President of the Leveson Inquiry into the Culture, mythical status due to the audience music, film, art and literature Stop the War Coalition talks about his life in politics Practise and Ethics of the Press reaction at its first showing, fleeing at the end of last year, Guardian in terror from the screen at the sight Podcasts: Ieditor Alan Rushbridger discussed of an approaching train so realistic the realities of journalism in the they thought it real. This captures Alternative Idea of the University: ScIEncE modern age of continuous 24-hour the potentially startling nature of the CUSU President, Gerard Tully, on news cycles and social media. shift from still to moving image, and his idea of the university The once-a-day deadline has been the very real change we’re dealing Plastic planes 7 replaced by this continuous stream of with. My Ear Abroard: Will planes of the future be made of plastic? twitter and blog updates. This term, Varsity will embrace Becky Featherstone, on-location in With this new possibility to these changes in the new media, Beirut respond, add to, clarify and disagree, and create something that is witty, journalism as it was once known informative and thought-provoking: Soapbox: seems to be becoming increasingly a website and newspaper that pushes Rhys Jones on the solipsistic perils of FEATuRES redundant. With circulations boundaries instead of sticking to genealogy declining at a rate of 10% a year and them. VarsiTV: digital audiences growing rapidly, Yes – a newspaper is still important Scott’s final diary 10 Rushbridger argues that “journalism within the media landscape and Will planes of the future be made of plastic? today is often less a snapshot, more should not be replaced, just as Hidden Treasures: a moving picture.” The idea of television did not ultimately replace Jesus College’s art collection journalism is being quickly, vastly cinema and radio. The internet and wildly transformed. simply creates new possibilities for Next week, behind the scenes of how As editors of your beloved student familiar mediums. Varsity is made FILm newspaper, being the bright-eyed Varsity provides an opportunity hopefuls wishing to spend our to pause, and, in the future, an post-graduation days making coffee opportunity to reflect. It is at once Hidden depths 14 (sorry, interning) at the Guardian for a live, moving picture of ideas, Bafta nomination for graduate film-makers Rushbridger’s secretaries, we must opinion and information, and a fixed decide what the future of print media snapshot that represents your time holds. If journalism is changing in here. such profound, uncharted ways, Varsity will capture this each week why do we continue in a threatened – something that is certainly needed ThEATRE medium with our weekly University all the more with the fast pace of the paper? Is it the allure of inky Cambridge bubble. After all, this is 18 fingertips and the smell of freshly not just any newspaper. It is your Team List (What’s your new year’s resolution?) Pick me up printed-paper, or the desire to create newspaper. Without your news, it’s Editors Madeleine Morley and Louise Benson The cast of the next week’s ADC lateshow talk something that we can hold in our only paper – and if digitalised, it’s not [email protected] (Get a new haircut) about redemption, pressure and priesthood own hands? even that. Business Manager Michael Derringer [email protected] (As they say in the trade, wear my hat more) These are all questions that So get talking, get reading, get Senior Arts Editor Zoe Large demand to be answered: Varsity writing – and get in touch. [email protected] (Keep a dream diary) recognizes that it’s now time for News Editor Matt Russell SpORT some serious, positive – and radical [email protected] (Watch less football) – change. Rushbridger compares the Science and Theatre Editor Helen Cahill [email protected] (Learn more about rocks) 22 new media to a moving picture, with Perspectives Editor Emily Fitzell Guilty of injustice its audio snippets, videos, blogs and [email protected] (Learn another language) feeds, whilst old media is a snapshot. Features Editor Katy Browse Weekly kickabout questions the vagueness [email protected] (See more documentaries) of Suárez’s prosecution The Lumière L’Arrivée d’un Train Music Editor Rory Williamson en Gare, screened in 1895 at the [email protected] (Drink less, think more) Books Editor Charlotte Keith [email protected] (Learn to love mornings) DOn’T FORgET Madeleine Morley & Louise Benson Film/TV Editor India Ross [email protected] (Stop watching moronic TV shows) 23 Editors, Lent 2012 Art Editor Holly Gupta The Fab Varsity Quiz [email protected] (Learn to knit a scarf) Fashion Editors Claire Healy & Naomi Pallas [email protected] (Turn into Azealia Banks) Sport Editor James Corcut These are all without mentioning the Also, the new inclusion of art com- Dear Darius, [email protected] (Branch out from the Beatles) Union’s impromptu vote in March ment is questionable: for one, isn’t there Thank you for your rather premature VarsiTV Editor Vicki Perrin Post [email protected] (Graduation approaches: get a job!) and, in an ironic twist of fate, Charlie a section where this type of comment concern, for a section that you have yet Podcasts Editor Patrick Sykes January 2012 – a retrospective letter Gilmour’s election into the Presidency; might fit better? Art commentary is a to see in print. [email protected] (Get up with my alarm) when asked about this sudden change, very niche area (although having stud- This paper is a platform for the mul- Head of Investigations Isabella Cookson [email protected] (Eat fewer chocolate buttons) Dear Editors, an anonymous source cited “artistic ied theories of art for philosophy a titude of student voices present in our Business & Advertising Associate Tristan Dunn Merry upcoming Christmas. I hope differences” within the 2011 Union very lively one nonetheless) and using university – a range of perspectives, both [email protected] (Go to the gym. Get in shape!) you are decking the halls appropriately, Committee. Mr Gilmour was quoted as a comment slot on it when we could be political and non-political, if you will. Design Louise Benson and Madeleine Morley i.e. with the heads of your enemies, and saying, “let’s make all the laws”. talking about broader issues-both univ- This brings us to your quibble regard- Chief Sub Editor Alice Bolland that the unsuspecting Trinity swan is Amongst lesser events were the eristy related and national-which have ing the incorporation of ‘Arts Comment’ Week 1 Sub Editors Jonny Barlow, stuffed and in the oven. Whether or not merging of JSoc and LGBT Soc to form far greater resonance and relevance into the section; to deduce that this Bryony Bates, Paige Darby, Emily Chan these are the case, I thought I’d do a fes- one society (I attended their Ball, it was to our readers seems injudicious and excludes all but visual art is a gross tive good deed by saving you some time outrageously good) and the nuclear disproportionate. oversight, to put it kindly, and, put Varsity Board Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Mr Chris Wright, Mr Michael and recapping the most notable events apocalypse that rendered both Cam- If we allow art commentary,why bluntly, sheer idiocy. Derringer, Miss Alice Hancock (Varsity Society President), of the Cambridge year owing to their bridge, and this letter, void. not music, film and even video game We’d also like to reiterate that Varsity Miss Charlotte Wu, Mr Rhys Treharne, Mr Laurie Martin, shock value. Love and kisses, commentary? The section risks being is a student, and not a national, news- Ms Louise Benson & Ms Madeleine Morley Bidding adieu to the Tab (RIP, we Russell McNab turned into one of cultural critiques not paper. To adopt the style of the latter especially miss their “Tab Totty” sec- of commentaries as we recognise them is to come across with more air than tion) due to lack of interest was quite Comment from national newspapers. graces. The people of Cambridge must NEWSPAPERS Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free SUPPORT School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. a blight on this year’s Cambridge cal- Finally, can I drop by the Varsity have a reason to turn to Varsity – we RECYCLING Recycled paper made Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 up 77.4% of the raw endar. Trinity’s surprise drop to 30th Dear Editors, offices and get my Comment contrib- should be talking about them and their material for UK 760949. Varsity is published by newspapers in 2010 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity Publications Ltd. in the Tompkins table amused us all, I’m unsure as to whose idea it was to utor profile picture changed? I abhor concerns, with an insight that no other RECYCLING Varsity Publications also publishes BlueSci and The Mays. as did the protests and subsequent rename ‘Comment’ ‘Perspectives’ and vanity but my mother says it looks paper can lay claim to. ©2012 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of this occupation of the ADC against the include art commentary but I have my awful and it was taken at the height of In regards to your headshot, perhaps publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or trans- mitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical pho- institution of Suicide Sunday. Needless doubts about it. The new title sounds my conjunctivitis and freshers’ flu so your vanity could do with being put a tocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the to say, nobody paid any heed and Sui- vague, woolly and naff, like something she may have a point. little more in ... perspective. publisher. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 48gsm UPM Matt Paper. Registered as a cide Sunday continued to inspire many out of an GCSE English Literature Thanks, All the best, newspaper at the Post Office. ISSN 1758-4442 to commit the eponymous misdeed. exam. Darius M Louise and Madeleine WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 NEWS 3 Me and my Shadow: CUSU shadowing scheme 2012 launches next weekPHOTOGRAPHER by Stephanie Barrett from a wide range of backgrounds and Access Offi cer remembers the boys’ ‘Access work is more DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR to dispel myths and prejudices dis- shock in the school group being shown suading applications that continue to around that girls were allowed in boys’ vital here than at Hundreds of school students will be surround the University, often perpet- rooms. descending upon Cambridge supervi- uated by the media. However, it is the more serious almost any other sions over the next three weeks as the In light of this, Taz Rasul, Access and misconceptions that prevent worthy university in the UK. CUSU shadowing scheme launches. Funding Offi cer for CUSU who is front- students applying which the scheme is e scheme, which has been running ing the scheme, states her additional there to prevent. Students are visibly for twelve years, brings to Cambridge aim this year is to counteract this media Daisy admitted to her mentor: “my UK students from schools without a characterisation. She hopes to publicise previous idea about a typical student pro-access, with tradition of top university entry. the achievements of the scheme in the was that they would be a bit over- more organised e prospective student spends this local media of the shadows’ area. the-top and snobby, but you were just time ‘shadowing’ a current undergrad- normal and nice, so that encouraged student access activity uate in a subject which interests them me to apply!” here than at any as they go about their day-to-day uni- Last year’s shadowing scheme saw versity life. the introduction of e-mentoring, as other Russell Group Over the next three weekends, 286 participating undergraduates com- University’ school students from disadvantaged is the number of students from municated with sixth formers both ‘A previous Access backgrounds will arrive for the shad- before their stay in Cambridge, and disadvantaged backgrounds286 coming to owing scheme. More than double this continued answering questions and Offi cer remembers amount of university students applied Cambridge for the Shadowing Scheme dispelling myths about Cambridge to be mentors, with 600 applying for after the scheme fi nished. the boys’ shock in the the position. e University devotes much time Matt Gardiner, a shadow last year She also believes that it is essential and resources into Access, engaging school group being felt “the experience was very worth- that future shadowing schemes rep- with schools and colleges through an shown around that while – I’d recommend it to anyone licate this year’s popularity saying: extensive range of outreach activities. considering applying to Cambridge as “Access work is more vital here than at ese include student conferences, girls were allowed in it gives a much better insight than any almost any other university in the UK.” summer schools and CUSU’s Target Open Day.” Access Offi cers across the university Campaign, which involves the shadow- boys’ rooms’ Another 2011 shadow, Daisy, com- work dedicatedly and closely with their ing scheme and visits to state schools. Taz Rasul (CUSU mented: “It was defi nitely seeing the colleges to ensure school students are Such work yields clear results. In Access Offi cer) academic side of the university that accurately informed about Cambridge. her role as Gonville & Caius Access inspired me most to apply... it gave me a Matt Pullen and Adam Squibbs, Offi cer, Kirsty Gray has observed the year and students produced an excel- applicants in Caius’ history.” taste of what it might be like for me.” Access Offi cers at Pembroke, agree that direct correlation between Access lent Alternative Prospectus. As a She added: “It’s clear our univer- e successful shadowing scheme school students they have encountered work and the number and type of result, our applicants increased by sity is becoming a leading example is just one of many initiatives working in their work generally do not know applications: “Caius visited 52 schools 25% and, despite fees tripling, we have to other institutions for widening to attract the most promising students what university entails. A previous between January and September last the highest proportion of state school participation.”
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Corpus Christi silverware stolen from chapel Are we really getting smarter? Cambridge Antique silverware was stolen from Corpus Christi last week by Felix Nugee after thieves managed to sneak into the News Correspondent Cambridge college’s chapel. The items, used in Eucharistic services, Figures released in the past week have were grabbed from a wooden chest in led many to claim that the grade infla- climber found the chapel, and are part of the college’s tion affecting GCSE and A-Level is now silver collection. also affecting university degrees. They were grabbed from a wooden The figures show that there have on Moon chest in the chapel while the college been significant increases in the pro- was open to the public portion of students graduating with the The ambitious ascender was found Police have released images of the “very top grades across the board. worse for wear in the most audacious distinctive” silverware and urged any- In the year 2010/2011 15.5% of stu- night-climb since santa hats appeared body with information to get in touch. dents graduated with a First, compared on King’s chapel one Christmas. to 12.6% in 2006/2007. The fact that Rumour has it the climber began bicycle theft in Cambridge the size of the student body expanded his ascent from Girton tower and just at the same time means that the total kept going. He told Varsity: “The view falls after undercover is indescribable, you really can see the Great Wall of China, the Great Barrier sting operation Reef and the great flaws in Niall Ferguson’s history writing.” Cambridge Police in Cambridge have The student was spotted by the announced that the high numbers of of students graduated with the International Space Station with a 64%top two qualifications bicycle theft that Cambridge is notori- grad-ual increase in examination attainment puts a smile on the faces of two university leavers half-eaten Fitzbillies bun and a copy ous for have fallen, thanks to a series of Edward Saïd’s Orientalism (after 20 of undercover operations and other number of students graduating with potentially guilty of awarding a higher Economics students receiving an email hours on the moon, he still didn’t get initiatives organised by the police Firsts increased 45% in this time. proportion of good grades: it only gave in Michaelmas term detailing how past the introduction). department. It is the same trend for 2.1s, which out firsts to 13% of graduating students the requirements to get a first would University authorities commented Thefts have dropped noticeably in the also increased, meaning that overall in 1980 but the latest figures show 23% increase by 2% in part to combat this “Churchill only exists to cater for past year, with only 2,146 bikes stolen in 64% of students graduated with the top of students received this grade. problem. students’ inexplicable fetish for 2011, compared to the recorded thefts two qualifications compared to just 60% Members of Cambridge’s academic Yet in subjects like English examiners climbing things. We thought we of 2,870 bikes in 2010. four years earlier. community also appear to believe that have often been encouraged to award had put an end to this sort of thrill The secret Operation Northwood Cambridge University itself is exams have been made easier, with more firsts. seeking.” Angus Hackdonald last year saw undercover police offi- cers set up a second-hand bike shop in Arbury Road and managed as a result to recover 500 stolen items, and con- vict 20 thieves both for bike thefts and for other crimes. Great Scott’s Photos Academic asks for Former Cambridge Scott’s photos mark his anniversary Footlights nominated for baFTa coincidence stories by Matt Russell Chief News Editor by Gwen Jing also be read UniversiTy Tom Kingsley and Will News Correspondent He describes the stories as “absolutely Sharpe, both former members of the On the 100th anniversary of Captain riveting”, and claims that the “classic” Footlights Revue, have been nomi- Robert Scott’s expedition to the South What are the chances of two people coincidence is travelling abroad and nated for the 2012 BAFTA award for Pole, rare photos taken by the explorer phoning each other at exactly the same running into someone familiar. Outstanding Debut for their film, Black were released to mark the landmark time? Of picking letters in Scrabble that His favourite examples are the “little Pond. anniversary. spell your name? Or losing a fake tooth quirky ones” such as when “someone Kingsley and Sharpe met at Cam- The Scott Polar Research Institute overboard and finding it inside a fish had a double-yolk egg for breakfast and bridge in 2005 and the film is loosely (SPRI), which deals in research for both you catch years later..? then found out her friend was adopting based upon an ADC lateshow they Polar Regions and is part of the Univer- Professor David Spiegelhalter twins”. wrote with a friend, Tom Williams, sity of Cambridge, bought the photos of Cambridge University collects The idea is to explore scientific entitled Our Darker Purpose. taken by Scott, using funding from the coincidences. These are just some explanations based on these stories by The annual BAFTA awards cer- Heritage Lottery Fund. examples of strange occurrences calculating the odds of a coincidence emony will be hosted by another To commemorate the anniversary, listed on the Cambridge Coincidences or making speculations about the way Cambridge alumnus and former Foot- they released the photos online on Collection website as part of a study on the brain works. light, Stephen Fry, and will take place Tuesday, exactly 100 years to the day the chances of coincidences. He says formulae can be applied to at the Royal Opera House on the 12th that Scott and his team reached the Professor Spiegelhalter usually some cases to show that they are not February. South Pole in 1912. researches risk stories but is now entirely unlikely. For instance, there is Check out Varsity’s exclusive inter- The photos are the only ones in exis- Captain Scott during the British looking to put a positive spin on the a 1 in 35,000 chance that three people view with the pair on page 16. tence that Scott himself took as the Antarctic Expedition 1910-1912 analysis by looking at chances of from three generations of a family will expedition was covered by professional coincidence. share the same date of birth. martin Luther King photographer Herbert Ponting, who “This is not a formal research According to Professor Spiegelhalter, researchers know taught Scott about Now these new photos will be study at all”, he says, as he calls on it can be proven that there is in fact a memorial inscription to be photography. added to SPRI’s archive, which is the the public to send in online stories good chance of a bizarre coincidence at Though the photos were printed by largest photographic record of the Brit- of peculiar coincidences to the www. some stage during our lifetime. changed the team while out in the Antarctic, ish Antarctic Expedition, all of which is cambridgecoincidences.org website He adds: “it’d be very odd if it did not sadly Scott died before he ever got the currently being digitised as well. where other tales of coincidence can happen”. WOrLdThe newly opened Martin Luther chance to see them. King memorial ,which lies alongside Among the 109 photos of Scott’s are ‘It’s no small feat the National Mall in Washington, is to shots of the team carrying out sledge have its inscription changed after the repairs, their pony camps, and science to operate delicate quotation was revealed to be taken “out experiments, all of which are available equipment in freezing of context”. online. Insert witty The insciption, which read “I was a Director of the SPRI, Professor temperatures. Scott drum-major for justice, peace and righ- Julian Dowdeswell, said: “Captain Scott teousness”, was taken from a longer worked very hard on his photography. risked his fingers sentence, and a Washington Post col- He was not a scientist and I think he umnist noted that the quote made King saw photography as a role he could play freezing to the metal’ headline here sound “conceited”. in the expedition.” The US Interior Secretary Ken Salazar “It is no small feat to operate delicate has now ordered the National Park Ser- equipment in freezing temperatures. Scott’s photos will now be added Help fill in the gaps vice to consult with King’s family and Scott risked his fingers freezing to the to SPRI’s archive, which is the largest the Martin Luther King Foundation to metal.” photographic record of the British Ant- decide on a more appropriate quota- The release of the photos come just a arctic Expedition. The archives are also tion, declaring that “This is important month after an exhibition at the Cam- being digitised in order to share the If you’ve got any news, get in touch: because Dr King and his presence on bridge University Polar Museum which photos more openly. the Mall is a forever presence for the displayed Scott’s last journal as well as Read more about Scott’s ill-fated email [email protected] United States of America, and we have numerous items that had never been expedition in Varsity’s double page fea- to make sure that we get it right”. on public display before. ture on pages 10-11. Corpus Christi is the first stop in the 90-minute tour of Cambridge
week 1 — januaRy 20 2012 newS 5 Cambridge is fair employer University’s sports centre gets the go-ahead
by Helena Pike Dr Nick Bampos, Senior Tutor at by Rosie Sargent News Correspondent Trinity Hall and one of the University’s Deputy News Editor three Equality Champions, said: “the Cambridge University has ranked joint ranking shows us that the University is a Last week the council approved the first 11th with The Co-operative in the 2012 responsive and inclusive employer that stage of the building of the University’s Stonewall Top 100 Employers List, a values diversity and looks to provide a new sports centre, which will begin jump of almost 80 places since last year. supportive and exciting environment.” within three months. No stranger to controversial and Sigrid Fisher, Head of the Equality and The first phase of building is expected highly publicised debates about equal- Diversity (E&D) department echoed to cost £16 million and it is hoped that ity and discrimination in the application this sentiment, saying the achievement the centre will be open by summer process, the university has featured in reflected the fact that “the University 2013. national articles such as The Guard- considers each and every member of its Although councillors approved plans ian’s ‘So who is good enough to get into community to be equally valued.” for the design of the building, which Cambridge?’ However, in the lesbian, This department focuses on the pro- is reminiscent of the Sydney Opera gay and bisexual charity’s survey, which motion of equality and diversity, in House, some expressed concerns that provides a ‘definitive list of Britain’s accordance with the University’s Equal its features could have been made more A computer-generated image of the planned university sports centre most gay-friendly work places’, the issue Opportunities Policy and Combined interesting. of equality at Cambridge has been more Equality Scheme. It provides informa- Councillor Damien Tunnacliffe Other concerns about the green belt the issue of funding what the University positively framed. tion and support for staff, and organises claimed, “I do really feel this is an oppor- were dismissed as unfounded by Coun- has termed an “ambitious project” has Further praise was offered with events to combat discrimination. tunity lost – something as important as cillor John Hipkin, who held that “if caused delays. the award of ‘star performer status’ Cambridge’s LGBT staff network, this centre should have the wow effect, buildings are finely designed and the Now that plans are finally going ahead, to Cambridge’s LGBT staff network. whose achievements were recognised by and this doesn’t.” architecture is of a high quality, far from Anthony Lemons, physical education Cambridge was the best ranked higher Stonewall, is just one of the department’s However, Karen Pearce, assistant concealing them, they should be open director at the University, claimed, education institution on the list, which sub-groups, which works alongside director of physical education at the to display.” “We are very excited about the project is formed from submissions to Stone- other groups such as the Women’s staff University, maintained that the designs The first phase will comprise a main moving forward and hope that it will wall’s Equality Workplace Index, and network and the Disabled staff network. were “driven by a desire to create a truly sports hall, weights room, five squash make a really positive contribution to was listed above the University of Sal- Recent initiatives include a ‘sexual ori- modern, safe and motivational envi- courts and a fitness suite, while a swim- individuals, groups and clubs from the ford (21st), Cardiff University (49th) entation at work’ survey, action with ronment for users”, who will include ming pool and tennis hall will follow. university and local community wishing and others. Ernst and Young achieved the local community, and events for the both the general public and University Plans to build the centre have been to engage in health and well-being, fit- first place. Festival of Ideas. members. in the pipeline since the mid-90s, but ness, leisure and sporting activities.”
InTervIew LouISe BenSon that you don’t put the effort in, that’s all I’d say.” During the lead-up to the war in Iraq in 2003, Benn made the controversial decision to interview Saddam Hussein as a part of the Stop the War Coalition’s campaigns. He was, in his own words, Tony Benn “hammered” by the press for talking to the enemy. The equipment for the Described by some as Britain’s foremost interview was provided by Saddam Hussein himself and was broadcast on socialist, former Labour Party MP and Channel Four. “I put simple questions to him. I asked, current President of the Stop the War ‘Do you have weapons of mass destruc- tion?’ He said ‘no’. Well, I didn’t know whether to believe him or not. But, they Coalition talks to Isabella Cookson never found any. I said, ‘Do you have links with Al Quaeda?’ He said ‘No’. I about his life in politics knew that was true because Osama Bin Laden hated Saddam because Saddam was a secularist.” e was just five years old the people of Bristol to pick who they When asked what Saddam was like when he first visited wanted. Why should the fact my father as a person, he replies “He was very number 10 in 1930 and was a peer prevent them from choosing friendly personally to me”, before paus- can remember sitting who they wanted to represent them in ing for a while to stare down intently at Gandhi’s feet during Parliament?” at the pipe he’s been fiddling with the Indian leader’s Benn has certainly not wavered throughout the interview. He slowly visit to Britain a year later. Benn, now when it comes to his opinion on the continues, a subtle note of conflicted H87, greets us in his small flat in Notting House of Lords. He believes that the emotion creeping into his voice: “He’s Hill: his beloved, characteristic pipe in House of Lords should be an elected, the only man I’ve ever known executed. one hand, his obligatory cup of tea in not an appointed, chamber and that the It was a horrible sight to see the man the other. The room is filled to the brim Head of State should be the speaker in you’ve talked with just a few weeks with pictures, cards and trinkets, while the walls are covered with photographs ‘I don’t think making a ‘I’m always very nervous of his grandchildren: family is clearly very important for Benn. mistake is wrong – that’s when people say “nothing Both Benn’s grandfathers were politi- cians and his father was a Labour MP. how you learn’ ever changes”, because I His mother, a feminist theologian, had know that’s not true’ a remarkable influence upon him. “We the House of Commons. “If I went to used to read the Bible every night. She an untrained dentist who could only taught me that every political issue is assure me that his father was a really before with a rope round his neck”. really a moral question. It shouldn’t be good dentist- well, I wouldn’t stick with One thing is markedly clear through- about whether or not it is profitable, it him!” We can keep the Royals though, out the interview: Benn may be 86 but should really be about right or wrong”. he concedes – that is, so long as they he is as opinionated and as engaged with Benn recalls the lively political dis- don’t have any political power. Tony Benn: still campaigning tirelessly for change at 87 current politics as ever. He thinks that cussions at home, describing when Such beliefs have stuck with Benn by that, they said it’s cheap, it’s safe, famously that he did so in order “to Ed Milliband will make a good prime his father received his title, “and so I over the years, but has fifty years under it’s peaceful. I ran the nuclear energy devote more time to politics.” He minister, children should be able to vote became the heir. From the time I was the political spotlight changed any of programme for many years and what I explains how this freed up time to spend at 16 and that Cameron made the “right elected I knew that when my father his ideas? “Well, I’m an old man now learned as the minister was that it isn’t campaigning for issues he believes in, move but probably for the wrong rea- died they would throw me out. I tried and I have learnt an enormous amount cheap because they still haven’t worked rather than specific party policies. sons” for vetoing the EU-wide treaty to get rid of it and they wouldn’t let me. and have made a million mistakes. I out the cost of storing the nuclear waste, “If you look at how progress over change over Eurozone rules. Politics, he They disqualified me from running for don’t think making a mistake is wrong- it isn’t safe – Chenobyl, Hiroshima, the history is made, it is always when believes, “is a vocation, not a career”. Parliament.” that’s how you learn. The only thing I Three Mile Island – and it isn’t peaceful, people have campaigned. That’s how But although politics has been his He fought to retain his seat in a by- hope I haven’t done is said anything I because although the programme was the women got the vote, how we got life, he would like to be remembered election called on May 4th 1961, caused didn’t believe in, in order to get on. said to be about energy, it’s really about the health service, and why the death not for any significant political change by his succession. “I was elected with One of the big issues I changed my the bomb. I discovered that all the plu- penalty was abolished. Pessimism is an he was involved in but simply, “that I’ve a far bigger majority than when I was mind on was nuclear energy. I remem- tonium from our civil power stations instrument used to destroy hope and encouraged people. I think the function qualified,” he smiles, “Then they took ber when President Eisenhower came was sent to America for their weapon’s without hope you’ll never have a suc- of the old is to encourage the young. If me to court and there was such a row out with the “Atoms for Peace” policy, program. So every civil nuclear power cessful campaign. So, I’m always very you can encourage people, they will be that it became clear that there would saying that we could use nuclear energy station in Britain was really a bomb fac- nervous when people say “nothing ever ten times stronger. I would like on my have to be a change. But the issue wasn’t to make electricity. A lot of people, tory for the Pentagon.” changes”, because I know that’s not gravestone to be written: ‘Tony Benn, really me, the real issue was the right of including myself, were terribly excited Benn left parliament in 2001, stating true. So never be cynical to the point he encouraged us.’” 6 INVESTIGATION JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1 Cambridge’s naked truth: an exclusive exposé Isabella Cookson uncovers the risqué side of Cambridge, investigating naturist groups the Cambridge Outdoor Club and the Newnham Riverbank Club, and speaks to two enthusiastic student life-models
CAMBRIDGE OUTDOOR CLUB fter extensive digging into the fabled ‘nudist colony’ THE LIFE MODELS located amidst the sprawl- ing fl at fi elds surrounding Cambridge, I stumble “It’s nice to have time scheduled to do nothing, especially in upon the Cambridge Outdoor Club’s Cambridge”: two students, Sylvia and Dominic, describe their Awebsite – and get my fi rst glimpse of experiences of being on the other side of the pencil. candid images shot by members of the club. On a cheerfully automatic scroll-through, the photographs exhibit Why did you decide to become sort of drift off . It’s nice to have time sunny days spent amongst leafy trees, a life model? scheduled to do nothing, especially dips taken in an azure swimming pool, Sylvia: I didn’t exactly “decide”. I’d in Cambridge. It’s calming. and a steaming sauna. It is the bare skin been attending life-drawing classes D: It’s often really cold, so you’re on show, though, that really arrests sporadically since I did Art at you’re mostly just thinking “I’m really the eye. Regular activities conducted A-level, and decided to go to a few at cold. I wish I was less cold” in the nude take on new signifi cance; Cambridge. the bodies displayed on the website At my fi rst class, the model was What’s it like to see artistic almost shock more in their non-sexu- a no-show, so I said I would model interpretations of your own body? alised banality than the pornographic for half of the class, on the principle S: It’s interesting to see someone’s pop-ups that we’ve learned to become that if I was willing to draw all these artistic style, their idiom, speaking desensitised to. various naked people over the years, through the drawings. A series of emails later, and I’m sit- I should put my money where my It’s persuaded me that we really ting down to a cup of tea with two mouth was in terms of being drawn do see the world quite diff erently: members of the club. I wonder fi rst at Hangin’ out, above; dressing down for their big day, below myself. I can be an emaciated, stretched their initial motivations for joining the burning.)” e club also plays an active Dominic: A friend ran a life drawing out Jesus-fi gure in one image, and club, and the eff ect it has had on their role in the surrounding community. class and asked me if I wanted to try a cartoon-voluptuous comic book own awareness of themselves – sexual Each year they open their gates to modelling and I thought it sounded heroine, all from the same pose. or otherwise. “Naturism is a great lev- members of the public with a bric a interesting. Plus I got £30 for two It all depends on who’s doing the eller,” explains Linda. “You could be brac sale: “It’s to show the community hours work! looking. a millionaire or a tramp – you’re all that we do care very much about our the same with your clothes off . You local area”. Describe your fi rst experience Do you recommend being a life have the same basic male or female Linda talks of a naturist wedding – was there any any initial model to others? features.” they attended, explaining that the embarrassment? S: Yes, most defi nitely. Obvi- “No-one takes any notice really,” bride, holding her bouquet of fl owers, S: No, just an overwhelming need to ously, be careful of the joins in Vic. “You come down to the wore just a veil and her garters. “ e pee. (I joke... a bit). pitfalls, make a no-photog- very basic level. It’s very freeing. groom wore nothing but a bow-tie, I did the second half of the class, raphy rule and don’t go to You take these clothes off and you’re the guests were all naked and even the getting changed in a freezing cold private studios or pose for taking off a lot of burdens. ere’s no ‘The groom wore nothing vicar joined in – wearing only his dog bathroom and then scarpering people you don’t trust, but embarrassment. ere can be initially, collar and a strategically placed bum into the studio wrapped not in it’s a great way to make obviously, but really it comes so natu- but a bow-tie and the bag!” the customary robe but in my money and meet cre- rally. No-one else has their clothes on guests were all naked – She explains that the wedding was unfortunately butt-fl ashing ative people. so if you do, you’re the odd one out.” televised for a programme on ITV, on winter coat. I’ve done it in mul- “ ere’s only one naturist club I’ve even the vicar joined in’ which several guests were interviewed. But overall, I found it very tiple cities, at home ever felt uneasy in.” explains Linda, “It Upon walking into work the next day, normal to be on the other and abroad. I’ve stood was a club we visited once in which don’t make love on the site, there are she describes how she was met with side of the pencil. naked wrapped in there was only one other woman with doors on the toilets and every chair universal applause from her colleagues D: I didn’t fi nd it embar- rope and pranced on a eight men. They made it painfully must be covered with your own towel who commended her bravery. Both rassing, because the whole sofa on the sixth fl oor obvious they were looking for females- before you sit down,” explains Linda. assure me that their other ‘textiled’ thing’s so non-sexual. Some of an old factory in it was not only embarrassing but the “But you do shower together; often I’ll friends and family are similarly accept- people fi nd it a bit awkward Paris, with the sun- atmosphere was extremely uneasy. We go in and one of the other male mem- ing of their lifestyle choices. when you’re walking around light streaming left very quickly.” bers will come and stand next to me. In a world dominated by images in a towel before or after, in through the Being “textiled” is how the naturists ey might even rub the bit of my back of the unattainable, perfect body, the because in that moment high windows, refer to those who wear clothes. is that I can’t reach. It’s all very friendly Cambridge Outdoor Club “provides you’re ‘more human’ as and felt really is acceptable, though, within the com- and very relaxed”. a safe space to accept your lumps and opposed to just a bunch of happy to munity: “Nobody makes you take your “We have all sorts of events,” Vic is bumps just as they are”. I’m not sure abstract shapes for them to be alive – clothes off ” – with two exceptions: keen to stress. “We’ve got a naturist if I’m ready to strip off in quite such a draw. and then the sauna and the swimming pool are Burn’s night coming up and we do like public setting just yet – although as the walked out clothes-free zones. a BBQ (the men make sure to cover Outdoor Club puts it: “the only way to Is standing in a pose with enough ere are a few other rules: “You up with an apron – to stop unpleasant really understand is to try it.” for long periods of time money in my uncomfortable/ boring/ KIKI WINTER pocket for a meditative… what do meal in a nice e student body: Newnham Riverbank Club you think about? restaurant. S: I don’t really think. I e Newnham Riverbank only a telephone number Club Cambridge is a well- pasted outside the club for “I joined about three years ago the Riverbank Club, I have really kept Cambridge secret, dis- membership enquiries. It because I love swimming outdoors come to appreciate the benefi ts of creetly nestled within the is self-titled ‘an English ha- in open water. It’s not a naturist naturism for a healthy body image. Grantchester Meadows be- ven’, and £16 buys a year’s club, it’s a clothing-optional swim- It is wonderful to stop caring what hind a green wooden door. membership and access to ming club; lots of people are naked your body looks like in relation to Privet hedges hide most the club grounds. behind the hedges, but the club other people’s; you realise that peo- of the club from the view Tea and cake are also asks members to wear clothes on ple come in a vast array of shapes of passing punts, allowing served regularly on the the front near the river, to avoid and sizes, and that personalities members to pursue their clipped lawns for the per- offending punters. Probably half of matter far more. “clothing optional” policy fect picnic, Manet’s Le déje- the members swim naked. I just like being able to spend when taking a summertime uner sur l’herbe -style. I wasn’t so bothered about the some of my summer afternoons na- dip in the river. Look out, then, for the naturism when I fi rst joined, and ked, enjoying the fresh air and the As a swimming place, the Riverbank Club’s painted it was only after that I became a water and the camaraderie at the Cam was made famous by wooden door when next more ardent fan of swimming naked club without being concerned with poet Rupert Brooke, EM punting down the river on myself. It’s just much more fun than having a “bikini body” – after all, if Forster and Virginia Woolf. a particularly idyllic sum- swimming with a costume; it feels you take the bikini away, it’s just a e group would, on oc- mer’s day: you never know more free and natural, but only if body! I rather like that.” casion, sleep outdoors and what will be going on just the water is clean and not too cold! swim under the stars in a behind the next hedge. Since I began swimming naked river smelling of “mint and and spending time on dry land at mud”; they were dubbed the Telephone 07821266450 for “Cambridge neo-Pagans”. all Riverbank enquiries Open all year, there is Student from Jesus College and member of the Newnham Riverbank Club WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 SCIENCE 7
The stuff that dreams are made of Rock Will planes of the future be made of plastic? Jordan Ramsey evaluates of the Boeing’s progress on the introduction of the Dreamliner 787 Week LIMESTONE he ‘plastic planes’ have arrived. reduction lowers its carbon footprint corrosion associated with using e Boeing 787 Dreamliner, and increases its fuel effi ciency. How- composite materials will cut down This week’s rock is an exquisite hunk of whose wings and pressurised ever, a US Government Accountability maintenance costs by 30 per cent. Pas- Sorry Antonia, but that rock is the property of limestone. A favourite with W.H. Auden, who fuselage are made of carbon- Offi ce (GAO) report issued recently sengers can hope that these savings will the Department loved it so much he felt he had to write a fi bre reinforced plastic (CFRP), took has raised safety concerns. result in cheaper airfare. of Earth poem praising it, limestone remains the T Sci- its fi rst journey from Tokyo to Hong Though deemed airworthy, GAO ough it remains to be seen how ences runaway leader of the sedimentary rocks. Kong in October of last year. CFRP – questioned the ability of the Fed- it will fare, the Dreamliner at pres- Without this partially-soluble beauty made up of layers of carbon fi ber and eral Aviation Administration (FAA) ent is generating a lot of excitement, there would be no pyramids at Giza, an epoxy resin – is stronger per kilo- to test, maintain, and repair CFRP and rightfully so. e GAO’s worries no calcium in your cereals and no gram than its traditional counterpart parts. Damage to the strong compos- may soon be put to rest as engineers meat on your chicken breasts. It is aluminum. Composed of 50 per cent ite material can remain hidden inside a and scientists rise to the challenge of found everywhere, from the Old carbon fi bre, the new CFRP aeroplanes component of composite material testing and main- World to the New. This particular are also 15 per cent lighter. e weight the air- tenance. e owner of Airbus, EADS, specimen was formed over 300 craft. In and Dolphitech are currently working million years ago when Great addition, dam- on an ultrasonic gun that would allow Britain was covered in shallow aged CFRP tends engineers to scan CFRP components tropical seas; a world away from the to snap when it breaks, and ‘see’ damage that is otherwise Cambridge late winter chill. Not tempted instead of bending like alu- eff ectively invisible. to get one yourself? Then I leave you with the minium would. GAO found a void in As the potential future of air travel, words of Antonia herself upon fi rst seeing the the engineering knowledge regard- ‘plastic planes’ have made quite an sample: “Oh! It’s Beautiful! I want this rock!” FAQS ing the behaviour and identifi cation of entrance. Only time will tell if the 787 Joseph White these damaged CFRP parts. e report will be successful. Passengers in the UK Can I buy one? also discovered that research into the can expect to be seeing the Dreamlin- If you have £120 million, then yes. behaviour of ageing composite mate- ers in airports soon, with omson rials was lacking – an important issue Holidays receiving its own CFRP Can it store my whisky? for passenger aircrafts that can have a planes this month. BOING Not if you have more than 40 cubic lifespan of 30 years or more. feet of whisky. Furthermore, GAO questioned the capacity of the small crew of engineers Will it get me to lectures quickly? with specialised training to inspect a TAKE FIVE At cruise altitudes it will fl y at a pace fast-growing fl eet of CFRP aeroplanes. of 570 mph, so yes it certainly will. Boeing holds that the technology and research are solid. Could have a party in it? Varsity Despite GAO’s concerns, there are The Dreamliner makes for perfect benefi ts to composite aircrafts. Hailed party space, if you’re willing to rip e b e s t out the 250 seats. as a revolutionary step in passen- ger air travel, Boeing’s new product discoveries of 2011 Will it fi t in my back garden? promises cheaper, greener and more I think it would be a tight squeeze comfortable fl ights. e lightweight New earth-like planet given the plane has a wingspan of CFRP reduces the 787’s fuel require- We always get excited by things 197 feet, and is 186 feet long. ments by 20 per cent, meaning airlines in space that may be like us and can turn a profit on smaller direct this discovery was no exception, fl ights to less frequented destinations as it was the most visited National Will the neighbours complain if I fl y it – for example, between San Francisco Geographic News story of 2011. around my neighbourhood? and Manchester. is increase in prof- I can only imagine it was named It has 60 per cent lower noise levels itability means more convenience for HD85512b just in case giving it a than standard models, so I shouldn’t passengers and will result in smaller friendly name would think so. cities seeing more international air make it more popular The production line: making a Dreamliner is actually quite easy travel. Boeing also claims that reduced than Earth itself.
Medical mirror A mirror has been made with a webcam behind it that captures Higgs boson glimpsed variations in refl ected light on your First evidence found of sub-atomic particle face. An algorithm then translates that into heartbeats, so it can tell you when your pulse is up. Science by Jake Harris will collide and break down into their Industries) calling for drastic reform has fi nally shown how to diagnose Science Correspondant fundamental building blocks. narcissism. in how IT is taught in schools. Vaizey by James Vincent It is possible that the LHC detec- describes computer skills as “the On December 13th, scientists at the tors have found nothing more than a Online Editor grammar of the 21st century” and he’s ‘Zombie’ ants European Organisation for Nuclear background fl uctuation, but the direc- A fungus (Ophiocorhyceps completely right: being ‘digitally lit- Research announced that they had tor general of CERN called the reading erate’ not only makes you employable camponotibalzani) has been found taken a glimpse at the Higgs boson. “extremely good progress”. CERN that infects the brains of ants. The but also keeps you part of modern life e holy grail of the physics world, the spokesperson Fabiola Gianotti also Lent term approaches, and with it fungus then controls the ants so it – in the 21st century society is a con- Higgs boson is an elementary particle remained optimistic: “given the out- the blessed joys of academic rigour can kill them once cept that happens online. that is predicted to exist by the Standard standing performance of the LHC this and servitude. Obviously everyone they move to a But this isn’t even the issue for Model of particle physics. is model is year, we will not need to wait long for at Cambridge lives for this sort of location ideal for schools. Vaizey’s ‘digital literacy’ a 50-year-old theory that describes the enough data and can look forward to hard work but I fi nd it hard not to the fungi to grow may be a problem for some adults, smallest particles in the universe and resolving this puzzle in 2012”. It was think back wistfully to the work-free and spread their but anyone who grew up around their interactions. the accumulation of data that drew school-days of yore, ICT classes being spores. computers already has an intuitive the physicist’s attention; independent the best example of such licensed understanding of how such surface measurements that gave them hope dossing. Unfortunately, after master- World’s fi rst malaria vaccine systems work: the real need lies in the that they’d found the particle had little ing the tricky business of turning the Unfortunately this was discovered teaching of programming languages. statistical signifi cance. computer on and then the matrix- at the University of Oxford, but ese skills are the equivalent of 16th e LHC replicates the conditions of level hackery of customized Word as the vaccine has been shown to century knowledge of the screw or £2.5bnThe cost of the CERN project the beginning of the world, and the dis- Art, it’s hard to think of anything I be effective against the nastiest, the lever: they are basic tools essential covery of the Higgs particle would be actually learnt in those classes. Well, deadliest strains of the malaria to the advancing technology. Michael a step towards answering some of the apart from avoiding anyone who parasite we can forgive where it Gove’s recent announcement scrap- Professor Eilam Gross, ATLAS most profound questions in physics. uses Comic Sans (it’s the typographi- was unearthed. ping the ICT curriculum is the fi rst physics group convener, said his team Why do we weigh anything? Why does cal equivalent of huffi ng glue: looks step towards reinvigorating teaching “couldn’t believe [their] eyes” when the matter have mass? ese are questions harmless, but will slowly kill your but right now it just leaves schools fi rst readings were taken. ATLAS is that we’ve been trying to answer since Micro doctors nervous system). without proper guidance. I feel sorry one of the six particle detector experi- Newton. Perhaps, soon, we will be A Korean team have developed Anyway, it seems the government for the current students forced to ments taking place in the Large Hadron nearer to getting the answers. micro-robots which can enter have fi nally clocked on to this scam waste their afternoons because a gov- Collider (LHC), the world’s largest par- blood vessels to cure diseases and with Ed Vaizey (Minister for Cul- ernment that touts ‘digital literacy’ ticle accelerator. e gigantic ring of are now able to dig and move ture, Communications and Creative can’t keep up with technology. Don’t understand what on earth the Higgs bo- sideways. the LHC accelerates protons and other son is? Peter Blair explains all at varsity.co.uk particles towards each other, so they 8 PERSPECTIVES JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1
“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from”- T.S. Eliot Why the long face? 2012 – the year of the doomed Ladies and Gentlemen, brace yourselves, the end of the world is nigh!
ell it’s only fair cheery. Of course newspapers are that I should The Doomsday clock depressing. They’re a morbid, get one too. has inched that bit closer literary version of You’ve Been Everyone else is towards midnight and Framed. However, they’ve Wwriting them. After all, what many are counting down kind of got to be, because it’s better way is there to see in the the days to Armageddon. I the depressing stuff which is new year than with a dramatic, was even confronted yester- actually news worthy. Fact is, despairing, defeatist headline? day with a radio feature about people do bad things on a big Yet another masterclass in the art the ultimate ‘bucket list’ of things to scale more often than people of news delivery came this morning. do before you die. do good ones, and the fact e cutthroat sounds of ‘decline’, ‘debt And whilst we may not all be strik- we all fi nd it so depressing pile’ and ‘disaster’ leapt bellicosely off ing off the days until ‘ e End’, (21st is probably a good sign for the pages of the nationals. Disaster? I December, in case you’re wondering) humanity. picked up another: ‘Jobs cut’, ‘deep con- we can hardly claim to have got the year cern’, ‘heading for collapse’. Collapse? off to the brightest of starts. Good Lord. It really is a wonder anyone I am by no means suggesting that Victoria Sautter, Magdalene reads newspapers these days. everything is right as rain. It’s not. Not even a month into the new year Merely, that hard times do not equate to and the British media have painted us a the end of the world, nor do they excuse to beginnings, we must ignore the pes- picture of a world in tatters. Not a detail an attitude of overwhelming defeatism. simism-drenched pages of the daily has been spared in their fabrication ese poor listeners must know that press. Instead, let us seek a muse in of this elaborate mural of misfortune; the glorious world of fi ction and follow each new forecast adds a stroke of pes- ‘It really is a wonder the example of the novelist. Setting out simism to our day, each negative angle, from their very fi rst line with a com- a melancholic embellishment to our anyone reads plete story in mind; they know there already low expectations for 2012. newspapers these days’ will be drama, but they don’t give the Yet if only my reaction to such tales game away. ey also know that even of economic hardship, social dispar- there’s still time to attempt to sing that the most dire situations will inevitably ity and political turmoil had not felt so duet with Chris Martin, or to graffi ti come to some sort of resolution, which feigned. Truth is, we have all come to their name on the Great Wall of China. will take the form, more often than expect, and perhaps even on some level We all know drama sells papers. not, of something less drastic than the demand exactly this kind of hyperbolic However, when this heightened jour- Apocalypse. hysteria from the media. nalistic tone can no longer distinguish ese writers teach us right from the CHRIS ROEBUCK Maybe they’re on to something; if between the severity of a horticultural off to expect, to predict, but to resist we’re going down, we may as well do it quandary (the current ‘mildew crisis’- fi xed expectations- an attitude from in style. However, it does seem as if the protect your busy lizzies!) and a report is something truly intolerable about arts the world of fi lm sealed its lips with which we could perhaps learn a thing media are playing up to the cult of dra- on poverty and death following the aid a negative beginning. No matter how new release, ‘ e Artist’, Vogue Britain or two. I know its only fi ction but even matic expectation which has resulted disaster in the Horn of Africa, we know bleak a forecast may seem, it’s a tradi- heralds the “Gatsby glamour” of the in real life, things tend to have a habit of in an overwhelming sense of fatalism in we have a problem. It’s high time the tion, in fact, a downright obligation to twenties and in sport, football fans are working themselves out. British society. media took a step back and allowed us throw ourselves into a new year with celebrating the return of former icons, Yes. e world has plenty of reasons We moan about a world run by to gain the perspective we need to face a optimism and resolution. Henry and Scholes. As great as these to be miserable, but this sadistic affi x- imbeciles; we attack the crumbling tough new year with the right attitude. Instead of facing up to the challenges things are, the same cannot be said for ation with doom and gloom will get us coalition and their Labour-iously dull Easy, perhaps, for me to say from of the new year, Britain appears to the social stagnation caused by exces- nowhere. We may not all be daft enough opposition. We wallow in adversity. We the safety of our ivory-encrusted have preoccupied itself with an array sively negative coverage of political and to believe that the end is truly nigh, but forecast failure at every turn. e year’s Cambridge tower. Yet there is noth- of excuses and cop-out coping mech- economic aff airs. It is time to take a step heck, let’s try and live 2012 like it’s our just kicking off , and what’s the topic on ing quixotic about my predictions for anisms in reaction to recession and forward, and make those new year’s last. I wish you a Happy New Year. To everyone’s lips? Eschatology. Apocalyp- 2012; even I at times misplace my rose- social frustration. We have found solace resolutions. beginnings! tism. e end of the world. How very tinted spectacles. It’s just that there in the shelters of nostalgia: even in the When considering our own approach Emily Fitzell Whatever You Say THE CONSERVATIVES HAVE BEEN UNFAIRLY DEMONISED
hatever motion the Union proposes each week, I’m going ndividuals who self-identify as “Conservative” may claim that the to agree with it. I’m going to say ‘yes’ to everything, no negative portrayal they receive in some quarters is centred on matter how awful it sounds or how bad it’ll make me an unhelpful caricature utilised by the intellectually bereft in a Wlook. It’s something akin to the way in which Jennifer Aniston picks Imanner that actually serves to stifl e political discourse, but we must fi lm scripts. is isn’t because of my inherently positive outlook or remember that the Tory scum in question are literally unwashed because I dislike confrontation, but rather because the editors put hellspawn who deserve to be drowned in a vat of their ill-gotten me on the left hand side of the page and I thought that would prob- milk. To claim that Conservatives are being “unfairly” demonised is ably be fi ne and didn’t want to make a fuss. to ignore a deeper, more fundamental question. I will seek to illus- A quick glance at the Union term card suggests I’ll be anti-fashion, trate this question through the medium of a short play: AHIR SHAH ALI LEWIS in favour of beating up Arab protestors, pessimistic about Britain’s An offi ce. Mitesh, a precocious young man, is sitting at his desk, business hopes and convinced that women are only being held absentmindedly “sexting” a colleague who works in Human Resources. back by their own laziness. Luckily, this coincides exactly with all of Brian, his Line Manager, is perusing a bookshelf. my existing views. In fact, yesterday I punched a well-dressed but MITESH: Brian, is it true that all Conservatives are actually unemployed Arab woman in the face in frustration at my inability to demons, like in Roald Dahl’s e Witches where the witches look like secure a small business loan. nice ladies but actually have melted faces and evil feet? You might think that this makes me a bit of a dick, but you prob- BRIAN: Yes. ably don’t. You almost certainly think I’m just messing around. And Finis. Case closed, you may say. But, of course, one question you think that because I’m clearly a bit of a liberal. I’m writing for remains. “All Conservatives are demons,” I hear you agree pliantly, Varsity, I voted Lib Dem, and I just dropped my unfi nished novel “but does this mean all demons are Conservatives?” into my macchiato. To answer this question I went to visit Belphegor, Demon ink about it though, if a Conservative had written those words, Prince of All Hatred in his four-storey mansion conveniently he would have been instantly demonised; hackles would have been located a mere stone’s throw from the Lake of Quiet Sin. As he raised, blogs would have been written, and Cambridge Defend Edu- cooked me a slap-up meal of charred hope and asparagus salad, cation would have sat somewhere and defi antly eaten crisps. is Belphegor opened up to me. “Just because you’re a demon, people is not fair. What does a liberal have to do to be a bad expect you to be like all the others,” he said, his eyes swelling with ass? Put Nick Clegg in a leather jacket, give him pungent, corrosive tears. “I may be a lot of things,” he sniffl ed, a vintage Mustang and let him have his way with pausing briefl y to plant a kernel of evil into the mind of a mortal, your girlfriend; within fi ve minutes he’d be in the “but I’m not the kind of person who wants the private sector inter- friend zone talking about small batch preserves. It’s only fair that fering with the NHS.” For the accurate depiction of all Conservatives, liberals get demonised too. I beg to propose. and the protection of innocent demons, I beg to oppose. WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 PERSPECTIVES 9
Ladylike ‘Knowledge is power’, so use it FREYA BERRY King’s College Provost seems not to be blaming student activism, but rightfully applauding it n the beginning the Universe was created. is has made a CDE lot of people very angry and he mainstream media Students are quick to been widely regarded as a has latched on quickly claim that education is a badI move.’ to King’s Provost Ross right, not a privilege, and a us writes the late great Harrison’s assertion college that prides itself on Douglas Adams, and as usual, Tthat a dip in exam results could an ever-increasing state- he has a point. Beginnings are be related to student activism. school intake would no tricksome blighters. You think The Basildon Echo went so doubt agree. ose in amidst you’ve got them pinned down far as to write that the “Provost... the excitement and trials of a – the moment the universe was said students spent too much time this degree must make the most of their created, the inventor of maths, Summer and Autumn at protest rallies course, but must also do their best to the point at which you knew rather than concentrating on degrees.” protect similar or even better provision you were going to be dragged to Yet Harrison’s introduction seemed, for prospective students. Cindy’s – and yet there’s always in fact, to imply that other students The value of the intellectual freedom that little niggling voice saying weren’t spending enough time pro- university leads to is measured by the you haven’t quite got it yet. testing. He wrote with a witty sense of way in which it galvanises students to Religion is good at getting pride about his ‘political college’; yet, think, speak their minds and change rid of the uncertainty about our which university, or even school, can things. Learning is empowering and origins. “In the beginning was the avoid being political? It is both neces- any degree that empowers its students sometimes that is exciting and some- Word, and the Word was with sary and desirable that students and to the point of protest, in all its forms, ‘The intrinsic value of times it is infuriating. Either way, it is God, and the Word was God”. You staff are united and creative against the has done at least part of its job. As a learning and living in inescapable, and ignoring the fact will can’t fault that for confi dence. government’s aff ront on teaching and fi rst-year myself, reading ‘Coriolanus’ only push higher education further Most religions have utterly learning. at Occupy London instead of the UL an environment centred into the confi nes of oppressive legisla- diff erent ideas about how it all Harrison rightly pointed out that was all part of the fun. tion and excessive fees and cuts. Other started: if you’re a Scientologist, concerns about the HE White Paper The value of a degree does not hang on reading, writing and universities are turning against the stu- you’re equally sure that human aff ect the fellowship as much as they on a number or position on a chart. debate is incomparable’ dents and must not fall into that trap. beings are alien pariahs chucked do students. He placed his college at the While league tables might be interest- Without being doctrinaire, active out of the Galactic Confederacy. centre of political campaigning: “ e ing for some and while a First instead engagement in the world in which our If we’re going for a certain effi gies of Cameron and Clegg that were of 2:i is satisfying, it doesn’t compare DID YOU KNOW? Cambridge bubble resides is not an Christian perspective, however, burned in the protest in London against with the intrinsic value of learning and Over 400,000 people attended the impediment to university life, or an we can be utterly sure that it was the increase in fees were made in the living in an environment centred on student rally in March 2011, which appendage we can take or leave, it is Woman’s Fault. King’s Art Room. We have always been reading, writing and debate. Political amounted to the biggest public vitally important. Just as we wouldn’t I’ve always been a little uneasy a prominent supporter of the arts and activism is another facet of that expe- protest in the UK since the Iraq deny students poetry readings or about the idea of millions of it transpires that this is an additional rience, equally as important as weekly protests of 2003. rowing, we can’t deny ourselves the people blaming the woes of the function of an art room in a political essays and Tripos stresses. opportunity we have to try and make a world on one girl’s hankering for college”. Everything and everyone is political; real diff erence. Ani Brooker a tasty Granny Smith. No wonder that, in this day and age, women turn to chocolate. Who wants to risk that palaver again? But it is remarkable that Cambridge talks women, the producers of life, Predictions for 2012 e Wiki protest manage to get so severely Don’t Get Caught in a SOPA Opera punished for doing so. Chastity belts were funny in Robin Hood: Every week I will see Men In Tights. But in medieval inspiring ways that so e in Cambridge Defenders of online piracy, times they saved women’s lives, are part of a ‘sticking it to the man’, are self- serving as proof that they hadn’t many people’s lives in The University of knowledge ish and naïve. ey see only the been shagging the nice squire Cambridge are enriched Cambridge will demand economy. We personal benefi ts of goods that from the castle down the road through the contribution of devolution from St Johns. Wlabour to build our ‘intellec- many spend years producing. If while their husband was away tual capital’ – that we might they truly believe that intellectual crusading. voluntary groups, charities Pending referendum: 2014. better be able to take part in property is theft, then by extension Even when it was defi nitely and individuals. Will you industries where ‘labour’ means the they should feel happy walking into their husband’s baby, the travails be there? construction, understanding and use of Tesco’s and taking DVDs for nothing. If didn’t end. In the 1500s, one We will see the dawn of information. We all understand ‘knowl- it’s ok to take DVDs, why not a loaf too? mother was blamed for her even thicker arts students edge is power’, but knowledge is also Somebody, somewhere, has worked to daughter being born ‘all hairy as tuition fees go up and work, and consequently, wealth. make them all. and bristly’, because in the ‘act of We therefore need protection for our SOPA (Stop Online Piracy Act) and creation’ she’d been busy staring anyone with half a brain is intellectual output: without those pro- its sister, PIPA (Protect Intellectual at a picture of beardy John the Ian Nimmo-Smith forced to study science at tections, we cannot make a living. e Property Act) have good intentions, all Baptist that hung over the bed. Mayor of Cambridge university information belongs to us, just as a chair And now, in modern-day Utah, belongs to the carpenter who fashioned that State whose legislation is it. e mantra ‘information should be ‘We need protection for always good for a laugh/weep, Sarkozy and Obama To maintain a healthy free’, proposed by liberal thinkers and our intellectual output’ they’ve been trying for the last East-West divide, the Arab internet hacktivists is a staggeringly two years to make miscarriage will both be narrowly re- short-sighted view of contemporary illegal, after a young woman paid elected. The Eurozone will Spring will be followed economics, not to mention down-right someone to beat her up until she survive but Greece will in 2012 by the European foolish when applied to security issues. anchored on fi rm moral and economic miscarried. Autumn, during which If we do not protect intellectual prop- grounds. ey set out to strengthen Unfortunately, there isn’t default and its membership erty from those who would ‘free’ it, we existing intellectual property laws room to go into the gross will be suspended. The many European countries will simply see a decline in those will- which are manifestly failing to do their misunderstanding that underlies will spontaneously give up ing to provide it. Film-makers will no job (see ‘free-tv-video-online.me’). the attempts of these (laughably Coalition will still be in longer produce their fi lms if they can Well aware that they are legislating named) ‘pro-lifers’, or the ethics offi ce at the end of 2012.. their democracies and by be streamed online, and with the rise of an area that develops far faster than of eff ectively turning women Ed Miliband will still be means of Twitter restore e-readers, authors will fall foul of this law can be written, Congress has been into incubators, or why, on a it to those they originally too – why buy the book when you can deliberatly vague with its language. federal scale, Obama has just cut leader of the Labour Party download it free? Medicines are intel- Ambiguous does not make for good access to the pill. We in England at the end of 2012. There took it from. lectual property – drug companies will law – and indeed, the potential breadth managed to see off Nadine will be no military strike by stop investing if they cannot protect of action SOPA permits is frightening. Dorries’s recent attempt to hand their patents. Wikipedia did itself proud in drawing abortion counselling over to pro- the United States against Medicines make our bodies healthy; your attention to potential mischief. life institutions – a potential fi rst Iran. art makes our souls sing. If we believe Other, service-based approaches step along the dangerous path of it is socially benefi cial to have indi- might better tackle the problem, restricting abortion access. viduals write rich, complex novels, or and should be encouraged. But that Beginnings are absolutely vital, Patrick Devine & make smart, original fi lms, then we doesn’t change the underlying issue because it is only by catching Theo Hughes-Morgan, Trinity must allow that those responsible for – intellectual property needs better, them in their genesis that we can Professor Andrew Gamble the production of intellectual property faster, more efficient protection. ever really have a say on how the Head of Department of Politics enjoy the proceeds. ose that seek to Or it won’t just be music executives rest of an event turns out. and International Studies take those proceeds from them must who’ll be looking for jobs, but us. be stopped. Felix Danczak 10 FEATURES JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1 These rough notes January blues? It’s all relative. To mark the centenary of Captain Scott’s doomed fi nal expedition, Katy Browse revisits his legacy
e knew that the race to ese quotations would not have out with Scott, the supporting parties the South Pole would survived without Scott’s diary. e returned in stages and only four men be a hard one to win. Scott Polar Research Institute in Cam- went with Scott on the last leg of the What Captain Scott bridge, founded with the remainder of journey, reaching their goal on 17th didn’t know when as he the funds raised on his death, is now January. It is Scott’s diary that tells the set sail in 1910 was just how close it retelling the story of these last fate- story up to last, with its fi nal entry on Hwould be. He arrived at the Antarc- ful months in their exhibition: ‘ ese 29th March 1912. e last volume of tic’s McMurdo Sound (the ice-clogged Rough Notes’. It is well worth a look, if the diary is in the display, on loan from waters that are only accessible in not just for for its McMurdo miscella- the British Library. SPRI has also put summer temperatures) already aware nies. Scott’s base camp, built to house the text online. that the Norwegian team led by Roald the men for winter, was complete with If you visit their website, Scott’s day- Amundsen was also heading south. stables for the arctic ponies as well as by-day entries are blogged, and if you Amundsen and his team of Norwe- a dark room for its photographer. e need a reminder that things could be a gians would claim the prize. Yet Scott’s whole lot worse as you start term, they team earnt a reputation as the brave, Scott’s day-by-day diaries even tweet them. ambitious and ultimately tragic faces ‘ Today we fi nd the team fresh from of polar exploration. Reaching the are blogged... defeat. Signs of bitterness in Scott’s Pole but falling victim to the cold on ...they even tweet them’ diary? Perhaps. ey have found signs their return, many miles from home, of the Norwegians. he was recognized as a British Hero. Amundsen, however, will be the Memorial donations for Captain Scott work of this photographer, Herbert least of Scott’s worries as he sets out showed his country’s appreciation for Ponting, deserves its own exhibi- on the return journey where they the pioneer. It mattered less that he tion. Scott recognised a commercial will meet with misfortunes that Scott 1 didn’t succeed than that he died with opportunity and commissioned him names as individual ‘tragedies’. ese dignity, as he says of his comrade, to feature brands such as Lyle’s Syrup will unfold all the way through Febru- 1. With their motorized sledges Captain Oates. and Colman’s Mustard in his photo- ary and March until the end of term. failing as well as their ponies Friday, January 19th, T -22.6 ‘He did not – would not – give up graphs, to put their products next to Scott was found just eleven miles proving unfi t for the job, the men hope to the very end. He was a brave that most exotic of creatures, the pen- from the next depot of food and fuel; Early in the march we picked up a of Scott’s fi nal Polar expedition Norwegian cairn and our outward soul. is was the end…. guin. Although most of the photos are the account of these months is emo- resorted to hauling the sledges He said, ‘‘I am just going outside and of the expedition itself, there appear tional and poignant. He would see one tracks. We followed these to the themselves: Think about that next omnious black fl ag which has fi rst I might be some time.” He went out among them some of the earliest of his team severely concussed after time you have moan about the into the blizzard and we went out into examples of product placement. a fall, another fi ghting frostbite, until apprised us of our predecessors’ trek back from the UL. success. We have picked this fl ag up, the blizzard and we have not seen him Ponting was not present on the trip the point that he and his men could 2. ‘Beanz meanz Heinz’, an since.’ to the Pole. Although nineteen set only write letters to friends and loved using the staff for our sail, and are now advertisement for Heinz baked camped about 1½ miles further back beans. in our tracks. So that is the last of the 3. Penguin with a tin of ‘Lyle’s Norwegians for the present. Golden Syrup’.
ones and hope for the best. e Antarctic expedition had been advertised to potential offi cers as the chance ‘to reach the South Pole, and to secure for the British Empire the honour of this achievement’ and they failed to be the fi rst to do so by just over a month. As the Tate & Lyle’ anecdote shows though, there was more to the expe- dition than glory-hunting. Scott’s ambitions went beyond Amund- sen’s. e 65 strong British team also included photographers, scientists and naturalists such as Edward Wilson, who died with him on the return journey. is, too, shows in the diary entries that are to come. On the hard trip back, Scott will honour Wilson’s request for a scientifi c detour despite awful weather and dwindling supplies. Wilson wanted to look among glacial debris in the the Days ose Were 1995 19TH JANUARY 2 shadow of Mount Erebus. It WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 FEATURES 11
LETTICE e FRANKLIN Little Gem SCOTT POLAR RESEARCH INSTITUTE
3 4
The First and Last (formerly ‘ e Cricketers’) 18 Melbourne Place All-week Sunday roast: £8.50 Cheapest Pint: £3.20
write this, a new column, on the train returning to Cambridge for a new term, in a new year, wearing a new coat, and with a Inew diary full of empty pages to fi ll with new, exciting events, but I am thinking about nothing but endings. I return, after all, to a Cambridge that is no longer Cambridge, or at least is no longer Kambar-idge. Like Adam and Eve, we must make our solitary, un-tequila-fuelled way, hand in hand perhaps, but those hands will never again to be marked with that enigmatic P (...for Paradise Lost?). Otherwise hard-hearted cynics and I have had tearful conversations: “And you queued, gazing at the weirdest window display known to man, that 5 toy Michelin man, that fake money... or you didn’t because it was totally empty” (sigh) “and then you went up 4. The team that reached the the stairs and then you saw it” (gaze meant that, found alongside the dia- day,” according to the polar historian Thursday, March 27th pole. From left: Oates, Bowers, ries of the pole parties was a prize David Wilson, the explorer’s great- into distance) “and then, and then, We shall stick it out to the end but we Scott, Wilson and Evans. fossil, the hitherto unknown plant nephew. you got the tequila, or occasionally are getting weaker, of course, and the 5. Scott’s fi nal diary entry. Glossopteris Indica. You can imagine that it took a lot didn’t because you haven’t said end cannot be far. 6. Penguin eggs: Why not try It was Wilson that had led a trip from of these statements at the Cape Evans “tequila...PLEASE” and then you It seems a pity, but I do not think I can the Varsity egg hunt? See if you the base camp that has gone down in base camp to coax his fellow offi cers leant against the inexplicable barrels” write more. can spot the third egg cunningly (voice rising with remembered joy) history in its own right. Named ‘ e into the trip. It meant that three men concealed in the very pages Worst Journey in the World’, Cherry travelled into the Antarctic winter, “and then you went into Cambridge’s R . SCOT T. you hold before you. Garrard’s account is recommended during which no sun shines, trying to largest girls’ loo” (sniff ) and so on. For God’s sake look after our people. All images curtesy of the Scott But we must. just. get. a. grip, and if you want another insight into this track down the breeding birds. e Polar Research Institute. Image expedition. eggs were gold dust. ey were suc- remember that every ending is a of diary curtesy of the Scott new beginning. So, to fulfi l my pretty Current evolutionary theories, in cessful (although the theory, unluckily, Estate. which Wilson was absorbed, held was not). loose but ca-learly far too prescriptive the emperor penguin as vital. It was From an advertising campaign to brief to talk about restaurants and thought of as a missing link between scientifi c ambitions that outlive him With thanks to the Scott Polar beginnings, I draw your attention reptiles and birds, and that the embryo in the Institute named for him, Scott’s Research Institute for help to a pub previously known as e passed through all previous evolu- story is not just one of heroism. e in developing this article. A Cricketers in Melbourne Place – tionary stages during the course of its diaries and letters show that he and his review of e Worst Journey mysteriously the location of more development. team had that which the Norwegians of the World can be found nice pubs than the whole of central Getting hold of its eggs then, “was did not; a truly British grit, humour in the Literature Section. Cambridge. It reopened last term the greatest biological quest of the and eccentricity. 6 as e First and Last, a name which nicely ties up the mind-blowingly complex conceptual threads running through this article, and is the name the pub was given when it fi rst opened its doors in 1838. Maybe one day in 2186, naive undergraduates will stumble upon a refurbished club, previous butchers, tea-shop, private house, restaurant, club and... champagne bar called Kambar. And until then let’s comfort ourselves with e First and Last’s delicious Sunday roast. e Comic Strip LEWIS WYNN Pull out and pin up on your board Friday Saturday Sunday Monday 20th 21st 22nd 23rd Tubelord Sinfonia of Cambridge Portland arms 8Pm, £6 West road concert hall 7.45Pm, £15/£13 Post-rock, math-rock - whatever bizarre category Feeling highly strung? Relax as you hear Andrew you use to describe their sound, this Kingston trio Watkinson conducting Tchaikovsky’s Serenade are definitely doing it well. Go and listen to their For Strings, Bruch’s Violin Concerto In G Minor fascinating mix of jangly pop and full-throttle riffs and Beethoven’s Symphony No 7 In A. with in a cosy Cambridge pub... violinist Victoria Sayles. muSic
The Artist Shame cambridge arts Picturehouse ArcSoc Film cambridge arts Picturehouse architecture dePt. 7Pm This Cannes Festival favourite takes us back to Telling the story of a 30-something man who ArcSoc film kick off the term with John Landis’ 1920s Hollywood, where movie icon George Val- is unable to sort out his sex life, director Steve gross-out comedy Animal House (1978), star- entin (Dujardin, LITTLE WHITE LIES) faces a career McQueen (Hunger) examines here the nature ring John Belushi as brain-damaged slob- crisis as the advent of the talkies effectively signals of need, the ways we live our lives and the cum-Thief of Baghdad. Screenings are the end of the silent era. Check website for times.
Film experiences that shape us. Check website for free, and often accompanied by popcorn. times.
From Genomes to The Varsity Drinks Diversity of Life the mayPole 9Pm lady mitchell hall 5.30 - 6.30Pm Today Cambridge’s conversational scene is as barren as the surface of Pluto. Come and join Professor Michael Akam will be giving the Varsity team at The Maypole instead. Theatre a fascinating lecture discussing genome editor will buy the first one there a drink, and development in living organisms. word on the street is that there will be talking involved. TalKS
King Lear Downing RAG Smoker The Lost Letter Corpus Smoker adc theatre 7.45Pm hoWard theatre, doWning college 9Pm Wolfson college, seminar room 4-7Pm corPus Playrooms 9.30Pm The much-appraised European Theatre Group In this one-off comedy event in aid of RAG, The London Ukrainian Theatre Group dedicates Footlights Vice-President Pierre Novellie hosts this brings its international tour-show back to Footlights members including Phil Wang, Pierre itself to reviving neglected classics of Ukraine in evening featuring some of Cambridge’s finest Cambridge. Set in an alternative 21st century Novellie and Ahir Shah will be taking the stage the UK. Cambridge’s Ukranian society presents comedians. He will, of course, be handing out Britain, the production aims to shed new light on alongside other up and coming student acts. Nikolay Gogol’s play with an English synopsis. the now traditional Smoker prizes and awards to Admission free of charge.
ViEw Shakespeare’s most poignant tragedy. Stand up comedy and sketches abound. the audience.
They Draw and Cook READ: It Chooses You theydraWandcook.com miranda July The recipes on this blog, made by brother and Rather than completing her second screenplay, sister Nate Padavick and Salli Swindell, are Miranda July went out to interview thirteen beautifully illustrated by artists from around the strangers selling items listed in the Pennysaver. world. Get out the posh plates, prepare some The experience, recorded in this book, ought to Adam’s Apple martinis (see above) and have a comfort and inspire fellow procrastinators. dinner party to celebrate the start of term. STaY in STaY
Klubnacht @ Fez New Year Ceilidh fez, £3 before 11Pm/ £4 thereafter the guildhall 7.30Pm, £12 Klubnacht is back for a late-night shakedown. Swing your partner round and round while HOUSE AND DISCO RECORDS deftly blended the University Ceilidh Band call the steps. The from dusk ‘til dawn. Presented by Body Shop, a bar, run by the Devonshire Arms, will be selling project shaping Sunday Night Fez into a venue award-winning beer from Cambridge’s own for student-run parties and events. Milton brewery. Ticket price also includes a hot supper. go ouT
Cast Gallery, Classics Faculty in the other. Now they throw in a free In the summer they’re open as late as (Sidgwick Site): cup of tea before 10.30am: how kind! 10pm, perfect for a sneaky post-dinner If you can overcome the strange (or mid-essay) treat, sitting on King’s juxtaposition of Aphrodite and the Market Square Flower Stall: Parade. And their scoops are enormous. ‘modern’ architecture - “I actually really Any room looks better with flowers. If you’ve like the concrete breeze-blocks” said one got a girl you want to impress, a friend Cindies: supervisor - then the cast sculpture gallery who’s feeling down, or just have an empty Wednesday night. Now that Kambar has My Cambridge at the Classics Fac is the perfect place to vase hanging around, go to the flower stall gone, there’s no excuse.Yes, it’s a little while away half an hour between lectures. on Market Square - it’s surprisingly cheap. squished sometimes, and I agree, it smells of VK, but it’s got to be done. It’s tradition. Week Sam Smiley’s: Rowan EVanS Sam Smiley’s has been satisfying the Benet’s, King’s Parade: Helen Hugh-Jones, St. Catherine’s College, hungry passerby since my mother was SUCH good ice-cream. They make every 3rd year 2nd YEaR, EmmanuEl a kid. She remembers going there after flavour under the sun - even ‘Cambridge school, satchel in one hand, bacon roll Blue’ (a glorified vanilla, plus food-dye). miXEd uP ■ ■ ADAM’S APPLE From Adam to Snow ingREdiEnTS mETHod MARTINI White, apples have been 1 part vodka 1. Pour the Vodka, Sour tempting mankind since 1 part Sour Apple Apple Schnapps and apple the beginning of time. Schnapps juice into a cocktail shaker. oliVER REES 1 part apple juice Godly fear needn’t put off 1 slice green apple (to 2. Shake well, strain, and those aspiring towards garnish) pour into a martini glass. ’ve never been a massive fan of reading or a more virtuous start to writing. is is unfortunate, really, given that the term, however. The ■ You will nEEd 3. To fi nish, garnish the rim I’m studying an arts subject. It’s just that ever forbidden fruit does keep Cocktail shaker of the martini glass with the since I was forced to read a book about two the doctor away, after all. Martini glass slice of green apple. Igerbils who fell in love and then write my own gerbil related romance for homework, reading and writing for pleasure has not been a big priority. is year, however, everything is going to change. Here I am writing my own column for Varsity, for a start. Monday Tuesday Wednesday Th ursday 23rd 24th 25th 26th AVOID: Jay-Z’s ‘Glory’ Th i n L i zy z Having a kid fi lls many with unbridled joy, but corn eXchange 19.00Pm £27.50 most parents can’t infl ict it on everyone with a The boys are back in town! It may have been a wide-release single. Jay-Z can. Jay-Z did. He good thirty years since their heyday, but heavy lovingly provides a near-four-minute display of metal afi cionadas will rejoice to hear that the inept rhyming, devoid of any fl ow and substance, renowned live performers still have it in them. complete with some bastardized “melodic” Hopefully they’ve lost the afros. production. God knows why.
Many Cambridge students are taking advantage of the new term’s beginning as a similarly clean ArcSoc Film Chris Langham Q&A Black Pond slate. ey’re already vowing to do more work, take architecture dePt. 7Pm cambridge arts Picturehouse 6.30Pm cambridge arts Picturehouse 3Pm more trips to the gym and eat more vegetables. But ArcSoc fi lm kick off the term with John Landis’ After the fi rst Cambridge screening of Black Pond Your last chance to see this new British comedy the New Year is the perfect excuse to start making gross-out comedy Animal House (1978), star- (see right), two-time BAFTA award-winner Chris in its short Cambridge run (starting from the 24th even bigger changes; to begin deciding who you ring John Belushi as brain-damaged slob- Langham will be accompanied by directors Will Jan). Simon Amstell makes his fi lm debut as a want to be, and what is important in your life. cum-Thief of Baghdad. Screenings are Sharpe and Tom Kingsley in a public question sinister psychotherapist. Read more in Varsity’s free, and often accompanied by popcorn. and answer section. interview with the directors on p.16.
Sir Crispin Tickell Visual Storytelling Debate: Female Ambition Peterhouse Politics society 8.45Pm heffers, 20 trinity street 6.30Pm cambridge union 7.30Pm A leading diplomat, Sir Crispin Tickell was What does it take to create a successful picture This House Believes the Only Limit to Female a recipient of some 23 honorary doctorates book for children? Find out the answer at this talk Success is Female Ambition. Rachel Moxon, between 1990 and 2006. He is a man of strong by local authors Martin Salisbury and Morag Steve Moxon and Liz Jones proposing, Margaret environmental convictions, talking here about his Styles (Professor of Children’s Literature at the Hodge and Katie Price oppose. infl uential environmental policies. University of Cambridge).
Corpus Smoker Footlights and Friends Pick Me Up corPus Playrooms 9.30Pm adc theatre 11Pm £7/£6 adc theatre 11Pm It’s heartbreaking when people let their passions Footlights Vice-President Pierre Novellie hosts this Cambridge Footlights get together with the Leeds Featuring writers and performers from Broody, gather dust and die, but the phenomenon is all too evening featuring some of Cambridge’s fi nest Tealights and the Bristol Revunions for one night Now, Now, the Footlights Spring Revue and rife in Cambridge. Perhaps it’s because we have such only. All the usual songs, stand up and sketches the ADC/Footlights Pantomime, PICK ME UP comedians. He will, of course, be handing out limited time to pursue what we believe in, but that the now traditional Smoker prizes and awards to you can expect from a Smoker, from people you promises to change your entire life for about an the audience. won’t see in Cambridge any other time this year. hour. ought to make us even more determined to take every chance we get. If you believe in something, then please do anything you can to keep doing it. And if you need to make changes in your life, then do so now. is week, Varsity went out and asked you Th ey Draw and Cook Cinevault what changes you wanted to make in your life. Are theydraWandcook.com cineVault.com POD: Wolfgang Tillmans friezeartfair.com/Podcasts the things that are most important to you getting The recipes on this blog, made by brother and Just want to curl up and watch a movie? Your Tillmans’ photography,left, offers a sustained the highest priorities? If not, then I’m begging you, sister Nate Padavick and Salli Swindell, are wish is our command. This (legal!) website is meditation on observation and perception, change, change, change! beautifully illustrated by artists from around the offering high quality versions of over 1000 politics and abstraction. The London-based artist world. Get out the posh plates, prepare some classic fi lms, completely free of charge. We talks about his work in this Podcast from Frieze Art Adam’s Apple martinis (see above) and have a recommend Herk Harvey’s haunting Carnival of Fair magazine. dinner party to celebrate the start of term. Souls (1962).
Bob Crack at Kings Art Captain Scott’s Notes Center scott Polar research institute Wolfson hall, churchill college 7.30Pm The story of the Terra Nova expedition, explored through the letters, diaries and photographs of its Having lived and painted in Cambridgeshire all members, is being told in this once-in-a-lifetime his life, Bob Crack now puts his portraits on show. exhibition at the Polar Museum. See p10-11 for His works are full of realism, but have a stark, more details. somewhat menacing undercurrent.
muSic EdiToR THEaTRE EdiToR SEnioR aRTS
casiokids the dumb Waiter la nativité du seigneur
Wed 25th 8:00pm, tues 24th - sat 28th 7:00pm Wed 25th 8.45pm Body Shop is a project shaping Sunday the Portland arms £7 corpus Playrooms £6/ £5 st John’s chapel Free Klubnacht @ Fez Night Fez into a venue for student- Presented by Body Shop run parties and events. If you want to Casiokids, renowned for their Taut dialogue and shifting dynamics; Messiaen’s iconic organ cycle (nine put on your very own night, contact theatrical spectacles, bring their the Corpus Playroom presents meditations on the birth of Christ) sun 22nd 11pm, [email protected] eclectic brand of frenetic electronic Pinter’s acclaimed black comedy, e performed in darkness, with readings. Tweet @bodyshopfez pop to Cambridge. Rory Williamson Dumb Waiter. Helen Cahill Zoe Large
want to see your event listed on these pages? Send the details to [email protected] 14 MUSIC JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1
RORYListen WILLIAMSON he beginning of the year Trust me, I’m a music critic... is often a particularly Are music critics better than the untrained ear of the Average Joe? Or are they irrelevant? stagnant time for music; the press is still full of 2011 Dominic Kelly muses on his role as tastemaker, and questions his own credentials Tafter having gorged on end-of-year lists and no-one seems to know how to anticipate what the coming ust like your weird uncle overstay- of Top Trumps. Last month, e Inde- Valencian is right? exist to inform, to entertain, to critique, year will bring. ing his welcome on Boxing Day, pendent publicly lamented the fact that e answer is: I’m not. Although no to be critiqued themselves and are a at doesn’t stop people from “Albums of 2011” lists are an inevi- not one of the albums that appeared in doubt tempted, no music critic has ever part of the conversation. e argument trying, of course; the predictably table part of the end of the year. It’s HMV's List of Lists, an agglomeration dissolved a Radiohead album in hydro- of whether mass appeal or critical suc- disappointing BBC Sound of 2012 Jevery critic’s annual sabbatical from the of all the critics' lists, was one of 2011's chloric acid to determine its value cess is more golden is one that is meant list being the most publicised boring job of actually forming eloquent best-selling albums. to continue for the ages. ere is no example of this arbitrary arguments, allowing them instead to Where was Michael Bublé, one of ‘No music critic has ever right and wrong. Even if your favourite guesswork. eir inclusion of turn an entire art form into a giant game British Columbia’s most successful song is 'Kokomo'. Skrillex at number four, who non-pot exports? Jessie J? at ginger dissolved a Radiohead sounds at best like the excretion lad? Who was the true victor in 2011: of the worst aspects of dubstep the critics’ darling, PJ Harvey, or the album in hydrochloric from three years ago, highlights voice of the people, Adele? Who’s right: acid to determine its not only the Sound of 2012's lack the masses or the critics? of imagination, but also exposes Besides the obvious truth that in value’ its guide to contemporary, original 2011 the list of top-selling albums in sounds as a masquerade. no way equates to what people are empirically. It’s an opinion. Lists of this ilk are often actually listening to, when has qual- Music critics are merely folks who counterproductive. eir vision of ity ever equated with record sales? have a way with words and have prob- new sounds acts only as a reminder What would you expect e Beach ably listened to a lot of records. I that popular music is a recycling Boys’ best-selling single to be? e happen to own all three of the Spice process. cerebral classic that is ‘Good Vibra- Girls’ albums and in low lighting, Artists have always complained tions’? e star-crossed serenade of if you squint, I look a bit like the about the impossibility of creating ‘God Only Knows’? It’s neither of singer in e Cribs. Similarly, anything entirely new. e most these. It’s bloody ‘Kokomo.’ Or to if you knew someone who important question to ask at this give it its alternate title, ‘that song indeed 'ate all the pies', they’d stage is perhaps not how to solve you heard at a school disco that even probably be a great place to this, but whether it really matters? then made you realise how the band start if you were looking for an A case against this rule is suff ered from the lack of Brian Wil- excellent steak and kidney. Destroyer’s Kaputt; though released son’s creative control.’ But even critics can get it wrong. only last year, its sound is an But who knows, maybe Music oracle Q once awarded amalgamation of 80s infl uences that there’s an enamoured couple in Oasis’s Be Here Now, an album gen- coalesce into music that criticises Selwyn for whom 'Kokomo' is erally agreed to be as enjoyable as its own excess. is album solves their song. Maybe he was gazing being probed by a CrossCountry this kind of cultural stagnation by out from under a prosthetic palm train, fi ve stars. We make mistakes. analysing it from within. tree at Lola Lo’s and lo and behold, See, music critics are exactly like you, Recycling does not there was his perfect girl. at song only better looking. always hinder will always remind them of that décor Reviews are perspectives; refl ections creativity; quality is and that night and they have since that hopefully the reader can empathise PJ Harvey: won not determined by accepted it as e Greatest Song Ever with. ey are ultimately self-indulgent: the Mercury originality. Adele: Voice of Which Wasn’t Written By Nickelback™. the only person’s opinion I understand Prize, but nobody the People Anyway, why are they wrong and this is my own, and even then it’s iff y. ey cares
It’s a fitting end to a journey that establishes him as one of e band is capable of moving between several unique the most exciting artists working today’ styles; they just don’t commit to anything’ ●●● In 2008 Kanye West released powerlessly through his mistakes. ●●● Many of our near-pristine digi- more like a collection of interludes 808s & Heartbreak, the prototype for Each part of Tesfaye’s trilogy has a tal libraries are plagued with little then a fully realised album. It’s also a new genre of rap: introspective and distinctive hue. If the hook-fi lled House imperfections. We’ve seen them all: very annoying. insecure, down-tempo and dissatisfi ed. of Balloons felt like a fading sepia Pola- songs inexplicably without artists, is haphazard style is by no means It paved the way for Torontonian Abel roid and the noisy ursday was acidic, bizarre misspellings, albums labeled an accident. Guided By Voices did, Tesfaye, better known as e Weeknd, obnoxious Technicolor, then Echoes of ‘Track 1,’ ‘Track 2,’ etc. My personal after all, help spearhead the lo-fi indie and his free trilogy of mixtapes which Silence is between these contrasts; it favorite: the hugely popular Various rock movement of the early-to-mid concludes with Echoes of Silence. manages to be more mainstream than Artists. nineties, with an impressively dense e album opens with a complete its predecessor while retaining its bile. It’s a nice symbol of the angry con- output of records similarly fragmented curve-ball: a relatively faithful rendition is is the sound of one mixing with fusion our computers must in infl uences and style. of ‘Dirty Diana’ bolstered by blistering the other: lipstick staining, mascara Let’s Go Eat the feel when we upload some You could argue this album is a Factory Echoes of Silence drums and crooning vocals. bleeding, lines blurring. trashy compilation album, strong return to form for a group It’s Tesfaye’s boyband R&B The album finally fades to black complete with the humor- that spent much of the past decade The Weeknd Guided By Voices voice that makes the occa- with its stripped-back title track and ★★★★★ ous, inconsistent mess in limbo; I’m not convinced. It comes ★★★★★ sionally lecherous lyrics so highlight. “Don’t leave me all behind, of styles they carry with across as a wasted opportunity. shocking. During ‘XO/ e don’t you leave my little life”; we’re just them. eir ‘broken aesthetic’ approach to Host’ he begs a girl to let him fi lm her not sure whose life he’s referring to My strongest impres- music strikes me as lazy but, ironically, when she’s at her best, when “you’re anymore. sion from Let’s Go Eat the Factory was paves the way for the few successful fi lled with regret.” e Weeknd concludes his ambitious simple: this “Guided By Voices” thing tracks. Of note in particular are the On tracks like the excellent ‘Next’ he project with a predator praying for for- is a great big hoax. Just a crafty pseud- dense synthesiser-driven “Old Bones” muses about hedonism and excess like giveness. Challenging and cathartic, onym for Various Artists to release and the sparse, surreal “My Europa”. most rappers, but these are cautionary it’s a fi tting end to a journey that estab- even more albums. e record makes ey serve as frustrating evidence tales told during the sticky morning- lishes him as one of the most exciting a lot more sense if you subscribe to the band is capable of moving between after: a disembodied voice walking us acts working today. Dominic Kelly this conspiracy. several unique styles; they simply just To elaborate: just over a minute after don’t commit to anything. Hell, they the lo-fi post-punk opening ‘Laundry actively don’t want to. Anthem You Can’t Hide Your Love Forever with Lasers,’ the nonsensical happy- Instead, we get a ramshackle hodge- CHRISTIAN SCOTT (2007) ORANGE JUICE (1982) go-lucky acoustic pop of ‘Doughnut podge and are tasked with fi nding the for a Snowman’ comes across as quite good bits ourselves. In all honesty, I’m Through distorted guitars and droning This album can be seen as a blueprint the shock. way too bloody lazy for that. pianos, powerful drumming and Scott’s for the majority of fey indie pop around These surprises don’t stop. The Ultimately it’s an uphill battle wispy, lonely trumpet struggling for today, but that would be missing the string-adorned drama of ‘Hang Mr. to engage with this glorifi ed play- air emerges an album as tragic as point entirely; the Glasgow band’s debut Kite’: some bizarre Peter Gabriel trib- list, even with its occasional hints of it is impressive. For a musician so is an exuberant, jangly mess of perfect ute. ‘ e Big Hat and Toy Show’: a brilliance. young, Scott impressively incorporates funk-inflected pop songs to be savoured strange blues mockery, complete with Recommending this album feels influences from wide-ranging sources entirely on their own merits. Ingeniously a maddening wah pedal guitar solo in a lot like buying someone a mass- including indie rock, hip-hop and soul constructed guitar riffs bounce off of a the background. ‘Waves’: essentially a produced compilation. It’s easy and into an aesthetic that is both surprisingly muscular rhythm section with occasional Pixies song. essentially vapid. Plus, I’m really consistent and potentially far more bursts of joyous brass, creating a lasting is chronic attention defi cit for not sure I want to keep funding widely appealing than more traditional monument to the power of pure pop genre, combined with their long- those Various Artists. Surely they jazz. Theo Evan melodies. Rory Williamson standing love of very short tracks, must have enough money as it is. leaves a final product that sounds eo Evan WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 BOOKS 15
From reading History to writing it CHARLOTTERead KEITH ook reviews: the scourge of Debut novelist and recent graduate James Aitcheson talks to Varsity about why Normans weren’t so bad our years at primary school. ‘I liked this book because….’, ‘I did not like this book ’ve written stories since a very how they built their houses to how they to practise, and then to practise some because…’. Book reviews in the JAMES’ TOP 5 B young age, and, for as long as I viewed the world around them. ese more. Whether it’s prose or poetry or mainstream press tend to continue can remember, I’ve harboured HISTORICAL NOVELS sorts of details are what help to give scriptwriting, the more you produce reviewing in this vein, replacing ambitions of becoming a profes- “each in its own way captures the a setting its credibility, and the same the better it’ll get. You can have talent, those stock phrases with some of Isional writer. But I didn’t really think spirit of the age it’s set in” applies to my characters. It’s crucial to but to get published you also need their own: ‘tour de force’, ‘gritty’, about writing historical fi ction before me that their attitudes towards religion, persistence. ‘unputdownable’. Book reviewing coming to study History at Cambridge, 1 Dissolution – C J Sansom family and society are as authentic as I I’ve almost fi nished writing the sequel today is all too often bland, and it was only while putting the fi n- 2 The Last Kingdom – Bernard can make them, so that they don’t come to Sworn Sword, which is set one year noncommittal waffl e; another ishing touches to my dissertation on Cornwell across as twenty-fi rst century people later and will see my protagonist Tan- example of ‘the new beige’. But book King Harold Godwineson that I had the 3 Imperium – Robert Harris dressed in medieval garb, but as believ- cred in action on the Welsh Marches, critics now have their own prize, idea for a novel set in post-Conquest 4 The Ruby in Her Navel – Barry able products of their own age. before facing a Danish invasion. I can the ‘Hatchet Job of the Year Award’ England. Unsworth Most aspiring novelists dream of confi rm there will be at least one fur- organized by digested-review From an early stage, I decided I 5 The Seeing Stone – Kevin eventually getting their work published, ther volume in the series, and possibly website e Omnivore. e reward? wanted to tell the story of the Con- Crossley-Holland but submitting it to editors’ more to come beyond that. Novel- A year’s supply of potted shrimp. quest from the point of view of one of scrutiny can be a daunting writing is about as far from e criteria for success? Integrity, the Norman invaders, a knight serving As all medieval historians know well, process. When you know a nine-to-five job as it’s wit, and ‘artful demolition’. e in William the Conqueror’s army. As however, in many cases the sources how much time and eff ort possible to get, and I can’t Omnivore noted that many of the far as I could see this was an angle that don’t give us all the information we you’ve put into a manuscript, say that I have much of a reviews they sifted through were few authors had taken before, which would like to know. At other times it’s tough to see it get turned routine in terms of my daily “plot summaries with just a couple made it ripe for exploration. In real- the ‘facts’ are disputed or else open to down – not necessar- working hours. Still, it’s important to of sentences of clichéd opinion ity the Conquest was a complicated interpretation, and on those occasions ily because be disciplined. Every day I try to write tucked in at the end”: alarmingly and morally messy aff air. It’s too easy I allow myself to take a bit of licence in the prose at least one thousand words, and similar to the schoolchild’s fail-safe to paint the Normans with a broad imagining what might have been. As I isn’t good I’ll just keep going until I reach that book review tactic, perhaps? If brush and say they were universally a enough but target. Sometimes that will take professional criticism – as distinct bad lot: some did come to these shores ‘You can have talent, but simply because only a few hours, while other from the (often remarkably astute) for purely self-serving reasons, and a it doesn’t fit days I’ll still be writing late Amazon.com review post – is to few were responsible for infl icting great to get published you also a particular into the evening. I have remain relevant, reviewers need to suff ering upon the vanquished English, need persistence’ publisher’s list so many ideas; the diffi - be a lot braver. I hope you enjoy but I also think that many, like my pro- at that time, culty is fi nding enough reading what our critics have to say tagonist Tancred, were complex human or because time in which to write each week. We’ll aim to beings who genuinely believed in the was reminded when starting out: you’re they can’t them all. be honest, insightful, righteousness of their cause. writing a story, not a textbook, and see a market and scathing where With a background in studying His- the narrative is what matters above all for it. The necessary – I can’t tory, I do feel a certain responsibility else. I think historical accuracy is most best piece of ● Sworn Sword, promise shrimp, not to mislead readers, but to off er as important in recreating the fi ne details advice I could Preface Publishing, though. accurate and authentic a representation of eleventh-century life: from the food off er to any aspiring £12.99, of the past as possible. people ate to the clothes they wore; from writer is simply jamesaitcheson.com
An exercise in watching and waiting, a subtle A poetry reading has to justify itself as preferable assault on the kinetic” to private reading: it is a dramatic form”
●●● Esther Morgan’s third collection, collection: “the light moved on,/letting ●●● A good poetry reading depends preferable to private reading. It is a dra- shortlisted for the T.S Eliot prize for go each chair and coff ee cup without on atmosphere, setting, and refresh- matic form. poetry, will not suit all palates. Centred regret//the way my grandmother, in ments. And all of these boxes were Andrea Brady’s speaking about her on what the poet calls, “our desire for her fi nal year received me:/neither sur- satisfactorily ticked by the fi rst Foule children and insomnia added an extra revelation and the diffi culties of learn- prised by my presence, nor distressed Readings of term. It started half an dimension to her poems. She was clear ing to watch and wait” the collection by my leaving,/content, though, while hour later than advertised and the and expressive, but John DeWitt was itself becomes an exercise in watch- I was there”. free wine had run out by the not as able to keep his audience from ing and waiting, a subtle assault on the As with the experience of watching a The Foule Readings time we reached the half-time fidgeting. Opening with the grand kinetic. good art fi lm, we feel constantly on the interval, but these were small statement that he wasn’t reading from rough portraits of people poised cusp of something, exhilarated without Saturday glitches in an otherwise well- his fi rst collection, Ends, because he “on the edge of a moment”, but never fully understanding why. Admittedly, January 14th, organised evening. And there didn’t know how, I expected him to at actually in it, Morgan asks how we some poems achieve this eff ect better 7. 3 0 p m was free wine in the fi rst place! least be able to read the poems he sup- cope with this potentiality, “waiting than others. ★★★★★ So I can’t moan. posedly could. Yet he was monotonous Grace without hunger in the near Tellingly, it is in her attempts to e Nihon Room, in Pem- and hesitant. Fortunately, however, Lisa dark/for what you may be come closer to depicting solid action, broke – despite a carpet Jeschke counteracted anything bad. In a Esther Morgan about to receive”. Some can’t for instance in ‘Five Easy Pieces’ or patterned like a yellow cow – was 24 part poem, Jeschke sang, spoke, read ★★★★★ cope with it at all: one critic the strangely ineff ective ‘News’, that perfect for this sort of gathering: inti- and, equally, knew the value of silence. compares reading Grace Morgan falls fl at. ankfully, though, mate, and, importantly, packed. Andrea It was a performance poem, performed to “watching a dull art fi lm such misfi res are few and far between Brady, John DeWitt and Lisa Jeschke by a performance writer in a setting in which the promise of a dwarfed by the achievement of others were a mixed bag. Don’t get me wrong: which demands performance. She was jolting denouement never such as ‘Harvest’, ‘Garbo Among Us’, they are all incredible poets, but a perfect. Joe Harper comes”. and the poignantly sad ‘I want to go poetry reading has to justify itself as ● e next Foule Reading: March 16th Yet this very inaction is what gives back to the Angel’. the poems their force. ey compel There is a strong religiosity to because they confront people, places the poems, expressed both overtly and times that seem to amount to – “angels and infants/robes and nothing, daring us to see meaning in raiment/a haloed revelation” – and the meaningless, to fi nd grace in the allusively in the recurring imagery of least expected places. bread and light. In the Shower taken by surprise e title poem evokes with elegant Yet Morgan takes great pains to avoid by a hand pressing in simplicity the opportunities to be slipping into portentousness with a is is on the shower curtain found in empty moments, “In the still- deliberate lack of detail and unadorned getting to be quite a problem, I should, from the outside ness, everything becomes itself”. language. Holy but not ominous, call for help or which I matched— a fl awless match— ‘ e Dew Artist’ movingly confronts simple but not plain, unspecifi c but try to move but with mine. It was uninhabited time, the gulf between not vague; we may occasionally feel I can’t. So I am you, though thought and action; “Perhaps it’s that her eff orts to fi nd the balance are just sitting I couldn’t quite enough that someone thought of it: /of rather forced, but in the end the poet in the shower make-out your face— rising in the gap between night work- pulls it off . and at least But when I went ers coming home/and the fi rst dawn is is in general a highly successful it is still warm. to whip back the curtain commuters”. collection, which challenges us to revel to greet you with this And ‘ is Morning’ explores the in what makes us most uncomfortable, Do not think naked, wet-armed embrace— you— signifi cance, or insignifi cance – it’s up drawing the reader in with insight and, this was sudden illness (cardiac or were not there. to us – of the simple sight of “the sun yes, with grace. otherwise), moving round the kitchen” using per- Emma Greensmith I was just James Coghill haps the most beautiful analogy in the ● Bloodaxe Books, £8.95, paperback 16 FIlM january 20 2012 — WeeK 1
WatchINDIA ROSS rt is the new black, Mr The graduates: hidden depths Cameron; in 2011, art was decidedly ‘in’. Sight Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe talk success, Footlights and Black Pond to India Ross and Sound’s Review Aof the Year is littered with the our finals were five years ago, thing’ blogosphere reputations) who opulent and the philosophically and, birthed from the Cam- did indeed evacuate Cambridge just bold, from Malick’s masterpiece, bridge crucible with nothing five years ago, I’m irked by the feeling The Tree of Life, to the staggering but reckless ambition, the that I really should get the hell on with – and staggeringly controversial Yclothes on your back and Daddy’s card, my life. – Melancholia. The remarkable nowadays you’re probably slumming From Footlights smokers to a British Steve McQueen, clutching a Turner it as a countercultural poet or killing Independent Film Award nomination, Prize in one hand and a Caméra yourself in the City. Actually, yeah, this has been some graduation, but d’Or in the other, is a lone figure you’re probably a banker – bad luck. on the subject of success, they remain in a sea of mannequin stars and Interviewing the indie filmmak- reticent: “We’re still using the office lame novel adaptations in British ers, Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe, stationery account to make DVDs”. film, alas selling the much-lauded (preceded by their ‘shit-hot’, ‘next-big- Sharpe and Kingsley are in the midst of Shame to Fox Searchlight for a a self-made promotional campaign for meagre $400,000, which will earn Q&A their debut feature, Black Pond, a devel- it only limited distribution. Thus, a Colleges? opment of an ADC Lateshow written ripple of annoyance spreads among when they were freshers, which has the increasingly avante-garde Tom: Caius garnered significant critical acclaim. Netflix demographic, no longer Will: Trinity Inspired by an obscure blog story satiated by bullets and bromance, best film you’ve seen of “a man who secretly crept into peo- as David Cameron proclaims in the last year? ple’s gardens”, the film is an unsettling that government funding will be T: A tie between Melancholia and account of loneliness and mortality, in channelled towards “mainstream The Skin I Live In. I liked them which comic dexterity rubs alongside and commercially promising” films. both so much I saw them twice the genuinely chilling. Tom Kingsley and Will Sharpe’s debut feature has received widespread critical acclaim The paradox lies in distribution. at the cinema. The much-admired Chris Langham British cinema cannot continue W: Tricky. I can never do these. I makes a storming but controversial and Darwin Deez, one would expect Whether budgeting concerns, or a to sell its soul to gross-out liked Biutiful, The Skin I Live return to form after a lengthy and igno- Sharpe and Kingsley’s cinematogra- touch of theatrical snobbery, are to comedies and easy billboard-fillers, In, Midnight In Paris, Sawako minious absence from the industry, as phy to be fairly slick, and with cutaway blame, opportunities are evidently but an indie confined to a few Decides... (N.B. I haven’t seen a laconic fifty-something with deadpan interviews and animated montages, being missed. picturehouses will only sell a few Melancholia) delivery of which Leslie Nielsen would Black Pond feels fresh; more art school As independent cinema emerges tickets. It is the role of the artist, not be proud. Simon Amstell (another than film school. “I don’t know if it’s from the shadows, Sharpe and Kings- Favourite filmmaker? the financier, to characterise and Cambridge grad) also ventures into changed now, but few people were ley are right on the pulse, negotiating influence the zeitgeist. Only when T: Kubrick. films for the first time, and is – to quote making films at Cambridge – the most the pre-production of a follow-up proj- government and industry W: Yeah Kubrick’s good. I have a the Telegraph – “solid gold” as a dis- exciting stuff was happening with the- ect they sheepishly describe as “quite giants put their faith soft spot for Woody Allen. I turbed therapist, turning his Buzzcocks atre and comedy,” recalls Kingsley. No, ambitious”. “Basically, it might look in new British know some people hate him. wit to a piece of sinister absurdism things haven’t changed much. Film is very glamorous to have nice reviews of talent will we find Greatest Footlights alumnus? which could have been plucked straight still a token creative artform among your film, but the pay-off’s a way away,” ourselves on the out of A Clockwork Orange. Cambridge students; in terms of pro- they say. Still, could be worse. T: Douglas Adams l world stage again. W: Peter Cook With a background in music video duction, it is almost untouched terrain Black Pond is showing at the Arts direction for the likes of Fatboy Slim outside of the Campus Moviefest. Picturehouse from January 24
GOING GlObAl Studio Ghibli, the company film centres around recently A tragic portrait of a life plagued by sexual JAPAN behind such beloved classics orphaned Seita, a 14-year-old as Princess Mononoke and boy, and his little sister Setsuko, obsession” Spirited Away, is one of the whom he must protect from foremost animation studios in the ravages of war. For me, this the world. Yet this little gem is is one of the most affecting lll Unlike addiction to drugs, Shame is driven less by narrative than sadly one of the lesser-known war films ever made, in spite alcohol and gambling, sex addiction has by the exposition of a man’s incapacity of the collection, which now of (or perhaps because of) the long sat beside ‘manflu’ as one of those for personal relationships beyond sex. reaches almost 20 films. limitations of animation. A laughable ailments we rarely recognise Fassbender’s inability to connect with Essentially a war film, Grave harrowing film, and not one as a serious medical condition. Shame the women in his life – anonymous FILM: Grave of Fireflies of Fireflies is one of the more I would recommend if you’re dispels such attitudes; the film, a tragic sexual partners, the fellow employee he DIRECTOR: Isao Takahata solemn of the collection, but looking for a distraction in the portrait of a life plagued by sexual dates, his equally troubled sister – finds YEAR:1988 also the most moving. The midst of an essay crisis. For a obsession. an ingenious echo in our own inability story is set in Japan at the end more upbeat Ghibli film try Rare moments of comic release to connect with our protagonist. of World War II, and presents Kiki’s Delivery Service or Howl’s and spatterings of warm Upon leaving the cinema, it is hard to a shockingly realistic image Moving Castle. Shame golden hues – around fully understand our own detachment. of a war-torn nation. The Alice Bolland his sister as she sings at We aware of the striking absence of Steve McQueen ★★★★★ a show, and in the film’s details about his past, his parents and final orgiastic montage his job, yet our disconnection lies more – provide respite from in the very cause of his pain, the wall the blues, whilst serving further to between him and anyone who seeks to reinforce the captivating melancholy understand him. Cine-fileNEw bEGINNINGs that pervades the film. McQueen further throws us into Long close-ups of Fassbender’s the shoes of the protagonist with his So New Year has come and gone release) to notice the Dean trying solemn face against a desolate artistic usage of the medium, often and we’re all back for Lent 2012, to evict them from the Uni- patchwork of blues, whites and greys verging on the voyeuristic. We are which seems a good time to versity. Secondly, though not intensify the despondent tone of treated to frequent close-ups of eyes, remind myself what I’m doing so much a ‘college film’ as a McQueen’s minimalist yet stunning lips and thighs as though seen through here, and what I don’t want ‘high-school’ one is Dazed and mise-en-scene. Fassbender’s predatorial gaze. to regret when I throw on my Confused. Everyone’s heard of As integral to the film as its use of gown at the end of my time the magazine. This is the ‘93 colour is its richly symbolic soundtrack. here. This leads me to my love film by Richard Linklater with a A series of jazz standards express of American ‘College’ movies, a great soundtrack to brilliant early the pain and complexity of love and reminder of all the ‘wild things’ university performances from Ben Affleck, Mila loneliness, while slow-moving, ordered can be. My number one has to be John Jovovich and Matthew McConaughey. renditions of Bach heighten the pathos Landis’ 1978 National Lampoon’s Animal It’s these sorts of films that remind me of many emotive scenes. House (pictured). you don’t want to regret spending your Sombre and often chilling, Shame This comedy launched the ‘gross-out whole university life behind a desk. Here’s still delights the viewer with its genre’ and plays off the squeaky clean to hoping 2012 is more ‘frat’ than ‘pap’! sensational camerawork, tense and members of the Omega frat house, who Tom Hart erotic sex scenes and gripping, unique are so tightly wound they cant get it up, insight into the reality of sex addiction. agaisnt the naughty Delta boys who are ArcSoc will be Showing AnimAl House Not one to be missed. too busy throwing toga parties (which For Free on JAnuAry 23 At 7PM in the Tom Belger became a phenomena after the film’s Architecture DePArtMent l Other ‘college/high-school’ films that might make you laugh: Fast times at ridgemont high (Amy heckerling, 1982), Shame is currently showing at the breakfast club (John hughes, 1985), the graduate (Mike nichols, 1967), heathers (Michael lehmann, 1988), Cineworld Cambridge and the Arts the unbelievable truth (hal hartley, 1989). Picturehouse WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 ART 17
e hyphen between two names HOLLYLook GUPTA Agnes Poitevin-Navarre tells Aliya Ram about cultural identity and being a late bloomer f you were really that interested in art, you probably wouldn’t espite France’s seeming be reading this. is isn’t meant political progression to as a criticism. e fact is that an anti-colonial national- Ipeople who are passionate about ism that is blind to ugly art are not that likely to go to the questions about race and University of Cambridge because, ethnicity, there survives beneath the to put it simply, it isn’t an art Dsurface an unsolved tangle of ethno- college. racial confusion. I’m not saying that everyone who For Agnes Poitevin-Navarre, this likes art studies art at degree level. confusion has been an inspiration, artis- Many of them study History of tically stimulating in as many ways as it Art, MML or, dare I say it, Natural is problematic. From it has been born Sciences. Equally, it is possible to her plethora of culturally concerned quite like art, in the same way that photograms, maps and multimedia I quite like tennis: I’ll watch the installations. Wimbledon fi nal; you just won’t see Her most recent work was created me in the park with a tennis racket. for Cambridge residents and consisted ere’s no absolute rule, but it’s fair of pieces such as the Proustian Map of to say there’s a general one. Cambridge for which locals answered If you go with my hypothesis, it select questions from Proust’s model Navagating the map room in King’s College Art Centre appears that the probability of there questionnaire. It seems appropriate from, they are never satisfi ed when I Getting a First Class (Hons.) Degree in start my making art again, this time being very many true art lovers in now, a few months after her exhibition say I am French. e ‘from’ question is Fine Art at Canterbury, equipped with with clarity and enjoyment. Cambridge is fairly low. But then at the Kings’ art room, to ask the artist always loaded, it is not about national- my French-English dictionary, and then why do people seem surprised about her work and where it might take ity, it is about ethnicity or about class. going to the Slade for my MA has unde- Where do you think when they fi nd it hard to fi nd a her next. niably opened doors. If you are good, you’re going next? great deal of visual art here? What part has this cultural background aim for the best school! America is calling me! Still, my next I am going to venture the Since cultural identity plays such played in your work? By the end of my MA, my work was commission is another version of the opinion that there are actually a a large part in your work, it feels In France, we have an expression mildly admired but not acclaimed and Proustian map for the London Trans- surprising amount of life drawing appropriate to start by asking you how “Français de souche”, which means the myths about curators and collectors port Museum, to be shown in May classes, exhibitions, publications you identify yourself culturally. an indigenous white Frenchman. e picking artists didn’t apply to me. ey 2012. I am also exploring the idea of of student art etc. all things As you can deduce from my name, I am expression is used to diff erentiate the have agendas for which sometimes you representing a codifi ed body language considered. Our galleries continue French, but have lived in England for 22 gaulois [think Asterix & Obelix!] from fi t and sometimes you don’t. So nurture in a photographic and wood-cut series, to put on exhibitions as good as years. I am the hyphen between the two successive waves of immigrants. e your belief and carry on making good although it’s early days yet. any. e Mays showcases excellent names. ‘Poitevin’ means people who live phrase has a political subtext that work. But that’s the future… the Cambridge student artwork year after year in the Poitou region, and ‘Navarre’ was betrays a lot of colonial baggage. show has been great on many levels. I and individuals run their own a kingdom between France and Spain. How has your work should thank the curator Natalie McIn- projects. And for the fi rst time in My late father was black and came So how did you get to where changed with time? tyre for the opportunity to exhibit there, many years Varsity has its own page from Guyane Française, a French colony you are now in England? My earlier work was totally autobio- and also all the Proustians for making solely on the subject. in South America, famous for the I am a late bloomer. Indeed, I get com- graphical and then with time it became the exhibit very special indeed. at has to count Ariane rockets programme, the Euro- fort knowing that Louise Bourgeois was a platform through which to engage for something. It is pean version of NASA. He migrated to a “peripheral fi gure in art whose work with my fellows humans. Hence the ● ‘Fellow Artists Fellow Muses’ ran more interesting to France in the early sixties. was more admired than acclaimed”, and maps and the Fellow Artists, Fellow at the Art Centre of King’s College, look for beginnings My mother is French French (she is found success very late in her art career. Muses piece. My work used to be really Cambridge , from 11th November to than dead ends. white). When people ask where I am She was experimental and had integrity. opaque. It took having my kids to kick- 26th November
is lack in quantity is eclipsed by the magnifi cence of his work and it quickly ...started my art year with becomes obvious why today, 500 years since his death, we still fl ock to it.” a pleasant surprise.”
●●● Artists are often confi ned to the e exhibition focuses on this defi n- His work possesses a quality that ●●● e pictures of Keira Knightly periphery of society, or made outsid- itive period, gathering together more is diffi cult to summarise: faces that and Peter Crouch advertising the exhi- ers altogether. Few are said of his paintings than has ever been dis- are famously hard to read, emotions bition were not a cause for excitement. Leonardo da Vinci: to have god given qualities played. But despite being styled as a that are indecipherable and mystical I could only foster the expectation for a Painter at the Court by their contemporaries. Not ‘blockbuster’, it remains modest.Not symbolism. room full of celebrity portraits attempt- of Milan Leonardo da Vinci though. In least because da Vinci was not par- One such mystery lies in the arms ing to be intimate, yet only showing the his lifetime his talents were ticularly prolifi c: he left fewer than of a portrait of Cecilia Gallerani, faces I see every day plastered on maga- National Gallery worshipped. None less so 20 paintings, many of which remain Sforza’s mistress. Resting calmly is a zine covers. ankfully I was surprised. until 5 February than by Ludovico Sforza, the uncompleted. is lack in quantity is white ermine, muscular and majestic e exhibition perfectly arranged the ruler of Milan, who employed eclipsed by the magnifi cence of his its meaning remains contested. Out best of the 6,033 entries in ★★★★★ The Taylor Wessing da Vinci as the court painter work and it quickly becomes obvious of the handful of his paintings on an expression of true pho- Photographic Portrait for 17 years – a period regarded as why today, 500 years since his death, display e Musician was especially tographic fi nesse. Faces Prize possibly the making of him. we still fl ock to it. captivating. With such a serene and like Julian Assange, pho- delicate face, the portrait is beautiful tographed by Kate Peters, National Portrait yet haunting. although beautifully shot, Gallery Drawings accompany the fi nished demanded less attention until 12 February paintings, allowing us to enter the than the subjects less meticulous process behind each piece. ★★★★★ used to the camera fl ash. While painting e Last Supper, a feat e piece “Bibi Aisha” by Hidden Treasures which lasted three years, da Vinci fre- Jodi Bieber showed a young woman, Antony Gormley’s sculpture Learning quently observed Milanese citizens to brutally mutilated by members of the to See (1992) watches over Jesus perfect the facial expressions of the Taliban in punishment for fl eeing from College’s Quincentenary Library. e disciples. her violent husband, sat allowing her e work of some of his pupils, most scars to tell her story. college’s collection also features works notably Giovanni Boltraffi o, is also e positioning of the pieces cre- by Eduardo Paolozzi and Richard Long displayed in the exhibition. ere to ated moving contrasts, between a group
IMAGE REPRODUCED BY KIND PERMISSION OF JESUS COLLEGE. amongst many others. represent the talents to emerge from mourning the fatal attack on fi fteen- da Vinci’s studio, but also to ‘bulk out’ year-old Antonio Olmos in April 2010, da Vinci’s paintings which are few and photographed by Negus McClean, and Do you know what masterpieces your college far between. a small crowd of students all waiting for has tucked away? is truly is a once-in-a-lifetime a cheap haircut in David Stewart’s e exhibition; it is unlikely that these Shepherdess . Watch VarsiTV’s series ‘Hidden Treasures’ to paintings will ever be exhibited e Taylor Wessing exhibition started fi nd out more - coming soon. together again. Unfortunately. advance my art year with a pleasant surprise, tickets have now sold out, though a and a vow to appreciate photography limited number are made available and portraiture, and maybe even Keira each morning. Hector Manthorpe Knightly, a little more. Sam Hunt 18 THEATRE JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1
Playground HELEN CAHILL Feeling low? Sometimes all you need is a little Pick Me Up The cast of the next week’s ADC f you ever feel you want to congratulate me on the Richard Stockwell excellence of this double-page lateshow talk to spread, please email theatre@ varsity.co.uk with your comments. about redemption, pressure and I know how important this section is and I’ve often wanted to praise its priesthood editor in a gushing email myself. eatre touches us all, and I hope his is my first visit back- writing and drafting; but these “hap- to do justice to all the directors, stage at the ADC, but I am pened by accident”, so will hopefully be producers and performers for their more interested than ner- funny rather than stilted. dedication and commitment to vous to meet a high calibre Will the venue also make a diff erence? perfecting the Art. Hopefully you cast without the fourth wall Ahir denies that Corpus and the ADC won’t see many references to the between us. require diff erent writing styles, but the technical people; they don’t really T e common room is an absolute tip two off er contrasting experiences: there matter and I’ll avoid highlighting but full of character, and while some is an intimacy to the Playrooms, says their ‘work’ in any way. Don’t cast members mill around and others Lowell Belfi eld, but safety at the ADC worry about them dear espians; wander in, it is clear that George Potts, in the invisible blob of an audience. Varsity’s spotlight is reserved the stand-out actor in all his shows last Now Now was funny. Odds, the exclusively for you. term, particularly as Captain Hook Footlights Spring Revue, was not, and Most of the joy of the Cambridge in the Footlights Panto, is on another George is the only cast member not to theatre scene comes from the fact level. have sullied himself with it. Jason sees that we all know at least some of Pick Me Up as a chance for “redemp- the people involved will be famous tion”: the writing team tried to fi t the one day. Frankly, I’m sure I’m one of ‘I wonder how they fi nd previous project around many others, them. You won’t be hearing about time to balance theatre resulting in a script hastily thrown 1 Jamie e Set Builder in the future together and only redrafted during though, will you? If they only have with their degrees, ‘We rehearsals. “We’ve spent so long writing vision in the literal sense (which is this,” Jason assures me, “it’s going to be hardly unique), I feel I’m justifi ed in don’t’ is the universal much better.” claiming they’re disposable. I could respons’ Despite their varied portfolio, build a set – it can’t involve more comedy appeals most to the cast. Still, skill than the construction of my the pressure of comic acting is greater Ikea bed. I gather they actively seek He has his producer in fi ts with an they claim, as the audience “knows to place petty prohibitions on our anecdote about his false economy of you want to make them laugh”. Even theatrical ambitions wherever they buying a self-assemble bike from Toys in the run-up to Now Now, they admit can, using the council’s restrictions ‘R’ Us. Jason Forbes arrives last and is to a sense of despondency when fi nal as a scape-goat. Surely such invasive the only one not to take his lead from rehearsals no longer felt funny. I ask actions are pathetic attempts to George throughout the interview. whether performing in week one, so convince us they call the shots? With the addition of Ryan O’Sullivan, early in the term, adds to the chal- Such shameless self-importance has the others were all involved in Now lenge, but Ryan claims that it is actually no place at the ADC. Now, which sold out the Corpus Play- “quite exciting”. ey hope to start on a I do not anticipate receiving rooms as the hottest comedy ticket of high without extended pressure loom- complaints, but feel free to email Michaelmas 2010. Being back together ing over them: “We’ll get it out of the [email protected] if you have any. is “kind of a treat really” for George but way – then we’ll be able to sleep again,” ey will forward me those emails, inevitable according to director Ahir explains Ahir. but I should inform you in advance Shah: “We’ve never really left each oth- I wonder how they fi nd time to bal- that I won’t be replying. er’s company”. ance theatre with their degrees. “We ey may well fi re I ask whether to expect more of the don’t,” is the universal response, and me as a result, but same and get a strong shake of the head George concedes that he may therefore as your perusal of from Jason: “We’ve all developed our have to be an actor: “I’ve got no choice these pages will own styles now.” Pick Me Up is “more really, that or the priesthood.” 2 4 make transparent, whole”, says Ahir. While I am prom- Pick Me Up is the Week 1 ADC The Pick Me Up cast (and some guy with a pair of plyers...): 1. Jason and Lowell’s teddy bears meant the ised a sketch show above all, some lateshow, 11pm, Wednesday 25th – world to them. Heaven forbid anything should happen to them... 2. “How about we throw a Teddy Bear’s it’ll be their loss. tea party?” George Suggested. 3. Shit! No! Who let this maniac into the ADC? links have developed naturally through Saturday 28th January.
The Varsity Star Guide ★★★★★ Aaaahhhhh! ★★★★★ Christ, No! ★★★★★ Unbearable ★★★★★Appalling ★★★★★ Bad
While there were admirable moments, by the end I found myself wondering whether a little more attention, a more concentrated gaze into the abyss that is at the heart of the play, might not have produced a more rewarding result’
●●● “Unhappy that I am, I cannot cameras before a few scenes in the fi rst the show worth seeing. heave my heart into my mouth” snaps half. is surveillance could have been As for eo Hughes-Morgan, who Cordelia at us as she rips up her aban- an inventive, unobtrusive reminder played Lear, simply taking on such a doned speech. en Arcade Fire’s ‘My of political scrutiny, a side of the play role at this age, or at any age really, is an body is a Cage’ begins to blare while that often gets forgotten; but, because extraordinary feat. I’m pretty jealous she and two men in suits and masks nothing is really made of it, it is just that he gets to say for the rest of his life launch into a slow, balletic dance. It’s bewildering. that he played King Lear in his twen- an odd prologue to Shakespeare’s origi- In his programme notes, director ties, and I hope he’ll play him again one nal opening; at this point, Charlie Parham writes compellingly day in 50 or 60 years time. King Lear King Lear looks for all the about the preoccupation the play has Ultimately though, I felt that the world like a vaguely maud- with testing the limits of language and trajectory of Lear’s experience in the ADC Mainshow lin musical about a love with discovering whether words can play as a whole needed more discern- ★★★★★ triangle. Yes, lyrics like “it’s ever hold or articulate anything of ible movement. His depiction of the a hollow play / But they’ll value. But many of the actors’ quick, physicality of old age was convincing clap anyway” do fi t with Cordelia’s far- often seemingly careless garbling of though, and I felt that his performance cical predicament in the next scene and densely pictorial passages – particu- improved immensely in the second with other moments in the play when larly those set on the heath – made it act. reticence and staginess are set in oppo- diffi cult to appreciate this. Indeed it Edmund’s (Tom Russell) perfor- sition, and this boded intriguingly. sometimes feels as if the actors aren’t as mance was my favourite of the night; But the frustrating thing about this clued up on the nuances of what they the contrast between his character in production is the frequency with which are saying as they ought to be in order public and in the soliloquy wherein he such promising ideas or moments fail to communicate them to an audience. swears “I should have been that I am, / to carry through or reconcile with On a more practical level, the projec- had the maidenliest star in the fi rma- the language: instead they just hang tion was often not strong enough for ment / twinkled on my bastardizing” around the edges of the play like glori- audience members towards the back, was genuinely disturbing, more like fi ed window-dressing. Such is the fate and the excessive speed of delivery only Ezra Miller’s Kevin Katchadourian than of the strobe lights and sound eff ects exacerbated this. It was the notable the pantomime villain rut Edmund is Oi, you in the front row – you’re bard! that indicate the fl ashing of paparazzi exceptions to this however, that made usually stuck in. week 1 — january 20 2012 theatre 19
There was a startling tragicomedy to FredCritique Maynard Feeling low? Sometimes all you need is a little Pick Me Up Williams’s set’ have been involved in twelve productions at Cambridge thus ●●● Despite having graduated from annihilation of The Tab Theatre Guide far, according to Camdram Cambridge three years ago, Liam Wil- Dog was a definite highlight). After the (actually inaccurate, but I liams still has a lot of friends, as his sold initial sting, however, his grumpiness Iprefer having a computer system out gig at the ADC proved. Dubbed became avuncular: when the audi- record my life to my own memory; “one to watch” by Varsity exactly a ence didn’t provide the response he’d it feels more official and thus real. year ago, anticipation had clearly been expected, he’d retort cantankerously, It’s about that number, anyway). building for the ex-Footlights comic’s ‘Fine’. No one would call me the greatest return. Same show, same date – new There was a compelling tragicom- actor in the world, nor the best sidekick. edy to Williams’s set, with gags about at remembering lines, or picking Henry Staples, a speccy wisp of his grandparents’ imminent death sat the right entrances, or indeed not hilarity, provided a sharp warm-up for next to the odd bit of ghetto speak. It falling over when carrying other Williams, somehow man- came as no surprise that, as an Eng- actors onstage. This has not stopped Liam Williams’ Stand aging to garner affection lish graduate, Williams couldn’t resist me, however, from having a lot to Up Show from the audience with- incorporating a few lines of poetry say about the plays I see, or am in, ★★★★★ out looking up from his into his set, though funnily, these frag- or didn’t see but would like people feet. Despite a couple of ments of verse didn’t just parade his to think I did. lukewarm jokes about Gha- ponciness, but offered a refreshing and Part of the joy of the Cambridge naians and bus drivers, the audience welcome change of tone, and proved theatre scene is the amount to clicked with Staples’ fumbling, colt- that Williams possessed substance as say about it – there are so many ish demeanour, and a soft-spokenness well as style. productions going on at one time that only thinly veiled some searing Maybe I’m falling prey to a sense that there is endless fodder for comedy. of humour failure, but the fact that conversation; whether about last HELEN CaHiLL Liam Williams is Staples, but 30 Williams managed to pull off such week’s production and its interesting years more cynical and a smidgen experimental voltes-face was, I felt, use of Craigian aesthetics, or next 3 more psychotic. A “weird, pallid, anae- a tribute to his comic talent. Most week’s show being the shameless mic Wolverine lookalike” (his words), impressively, Williams carried the result of nepotistic casting. Williams is dishevelled bordering on audience with him wherever he went, Hopefully this column can be an hermit, with hair so greasy it holds itself be it to Charybdis or Clapham. extension of those conversations, upright with Jedward-esque feroc- The gig was a ramshackle but quietly without the bitchy gossipy parts. I ity. He spoke with such candidness confident, left-field but slick. And as it want to celebrate Cambridge theatre about his depression he made Staples came to a triumphant finish with the and discuss how it could do better, look like the Milky Bar Kid. Whereas brilliantly meta- ‘May Ball Show Reel’, I and talk about issues of the stage that Staples’ comedy was offbeat, though didn’t doubt we’d be seeing a lot more we might not normally consider. still oozing dewy eyed charm, Wil- of Liam Williams come summer. There is no one more hated liams’ was caustic and biting (his cool Rivkah Brown than the critic. We can do massive emotional hurt to people who have strived for months on something, all in 30 minutes at 1 am following a relaxing pint in the ADC bar, and without putting as much effort into the review as into a weekly essay. Which is not to say I’m against negative reviews. I am, however against negative reviews that do not take a production seriously. ‘Constructive criticism’ is not some insipid creation of the primary school teacher – it should be the lifeblood of all amateur criticism. My New Year’s resolution? To find something at least interesting, if 4. “it was terrible; who knew a pair of plyers could be used so creatively ... and not necessarily nice, to say about wreak such devastation. Life will never be the same again without Old Bear by my side.” Both degrated shortly afterwards. everything I see. Now, what lies ahead for you a self-identifying “weird, pallid, anaemic Wolverine lookaline” lucky audiences this FLORENCE CaRR term? I’ve had a look at Camdram, The decision that Charlotte Hamblin What’s the most and, with all my should do a double turn as both Cord- interesting space theatrical wisdom, elia and the Fool was fascinating to have thought of a few watch; at first I was a little disappointed you’ve worked in? predictions. at a fairly straight up and down ingenue reading of Cordelia (her in innocent The Tristan Bates Theatre, Fred Predicts pastels, the other sisters in dastardly London. Fiendish re- the Future red and black, of course) but the Fool blocking required. ● Everyone coming out of The as a foil worked, perhaps due to the Seventh Seal is heard to remark: “I’ll fact that the pair are not meant to be never be able to watch Monty Python synonymous. Or perhaps it’s like Mr. Do you prefer touring? and the Holy Grail with a straight Darling playing Captain Hook. face again” Once more, the European Theatre My mind says yes, but my ● The setting of The Tempest in Group has done what it does every back, legs, arms say no. year: bundled lots of Cambridge acting isolated Newnham Old Labs garners royal rumble ‘now you Lear-sten to me, young lady’ lost-island related wisecrack from talent into one troupe, and sold out the Tab every seat. While there were admirable What do you look for moments, by the end I found myself ● James Swanton develops a back wondering whether a little more atten- in reviews? Cambridge problem tion, a more concentrated gaze into must remember that ● The Improvised Musical grinds the abyss at the heart of the play, might reviewers are to a crashing and ignominious halt not have produced a more rewarding when no one can think of a rhyme for result. learning how to write, “plankton” If, somehow, the various striking as I am learning how ● Bereavement the Musical, elements this staging threw out at us, to direct. meanwhile, unexpectedly turns out one after the other, had been drawn to actually be a serious in-depth together into some kind of exami- Subjectivity is character study of a bereaved widow nation of the production’s one truly key. ● Max Upton is crowned King of unusual aspect and the elephant in the Everything Ever room – the youthful nature of the cast ● and the way in which this highlighted Every male watching Dealer’s or threw into relief the theme of ageing Choice assures everyone afterwards – the result might have been a more they knew exactly what was going Chalie Parham on during the poker scenes. satisfying whole. the dance troop(s) bust their moves Lucinda Higgie The Director 20 FASHION JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1 Kick habit Niloufar Haidari is in the grip of an addiction – to trainers. She discusses her highs and lows
or my last birthday, I asked needed some trainers for in da club. my dad for the light bone/ ey’re all black so it doesn’t matter speed yellow Air Max 1s. if people step on them! Yes! Except ere was only one size 3 left it does. Step on my kicks and I will Fin stock and I hadn’t bought a pair hurt you. Contrary to the beliefs of of AM1s for at least three months. the people who wear those depart- Obviously, I needed them. Right ment store own-brand brown now, before they sold out. He ingen- Velcro ‘trainers’, I don’t wear train- uously answered my request with ers for practicality. If they’re suede “You’ve got enough trainers to last or a light colourway, I don’t even you a lifetime”. wear them when it’s raining. Usually I wouldn’t have even both- When the day is done, each pair is ered getting a third party involved carefully wrapped up in tissue paper in my mission to build the world’s and put to sleep in their little shoe- highest Jenga tower out of brown box beds. ey are defi nitely not Nike shoeboxes, but it was the end festival footwear; anyone who has of September and I had approxi- lusted over the Nike Air Max 1 Patta mately 17p left in my bank account. x Parra Cherrywood’s (RRP £650) can testify to that. ‘Step on my kicks and Every once in a while I try and I will hurt you’ branch out into the wider world of footwear; you know: heels, ballet Dipping into my savings account pumps, boots – the more refi ned to fund my kick habit – for the members of the shoe sorority. fourth time that summer – was a I worry that at the ripe old age far less appealing Plan B. Luckily of 22, I might be getting too old for my dad fi nally saw the light (read: I streetwear. Existential questions ordered them using his credit card) such as ‘How old is too old to be and my post-Cambridge penthouse rocking SB Janoski’s?’ rear their ugly suite in Soho was spared a further heads. blow to its actualisation. Sometimes I let my mind wander I love trainers. I love that my Air and I see visions of myself in six-inch Max 90’s give me a spring in my step Louboutin’s strutting around LAX, no matter how shitty I’m feeling. I but until Pharrell wakes up and rea- love how my Nike x Liberty blazers lises he needs to wifey are the perfect combination of fl oral me, the Air Max are and fresh. I love every subtly diff er- gonna win every ent panel texture on my all black time. Ripstops – the Ripstops are my The £650 latest purchase, justifi ed because I Air Max 1s!
SHOE BOX Where did you get them? What are you going to ey came out a year ago so I had do if they get dirty? to trawl through the internet. I’ll take them to the dry cleaners. ey’re Jeremy Scott designing ey can sort this stuff out. for Adidas. You can get them in It’s silk, right? She’s sexy! She’s cute! gold, leopard skin and holigram. I got them on sale for £120. Can you confi rm rumours that you can fl y to the top of Senate Why do you like them? House in them? ey make me feel No, but they make you feel like She’s popular to boot! powerful. you have the power to do so.
Amrou Al-Kadhi (3rd Year, Corpus) spoke to Varsity
From wearing your food instead of eating it, to hot Haul your ass to the mall this weekend to stock up on Hot stuffsportswear to! get your heart racing – get fi t and monochrome sportswear a la the Clueless chicks – healthy without breaking a sweat you’ll be a total Betty on the courts
‘Kick The Habit’ socks, $12, shop. Ashish Hoodie, ashidashi.com On Sale at £30, Topshop Campbells’ Soup Flask, £12, urbanoutfi tters.co.uk WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 FASHION 21
CORALIE WEARS (L-R Clockwise) 1 Dress Vintage. Stockings M&S. Shoes Buff alo. 2 T-Shirt Vintage. Scarf Stylist’s Own. Socks M&S. Scrunchie American Apparel. 3 Nappa wears Jumper and Tracksuit Bottoms Nike. Cap oroughbred. Coralie wears Hoodie Nike. Crop Top Urban Outfi tters. Tracksuit Bottoms Adidas. 4 Hoodie, Shorts and Sports Bra American Apparel. Suspenders House of Holland. Hat H&M. Gloves Model’s Own. 5 Skirt and Coat Vintage. Vest Topshop. Scrunchie American Apparel. 6 Nappa wears Top Stylists Own. Tracksuit Bottoms Adidas. Trainers Puma. Cap oroughbred. Socks Models Own. Coralie wears Top Stylists Own. Skirt Versace. Socks Stylists Own. Shoes Buff alo.
PHOTOGRAPHS Claire Healy STYLING TasteCLAIRE HEALY & NAOMI PALLAS Naomi Pallas & Claire Healy MODELS o you’d be forgiven for thinking that you’ve Coralie come across the Sports pages already, but Malissard & you’d be wrong! Despite the balls, sticks Napper Tandy Sand pom-poms on show, these are indeed the new look Fashion pages, intending to inject a little fashion fun into your weekly Varsity read. Unisex Pepperoni A new year has dawned, and you may - like us - Pizza T-Shirt, have harboured ambitions to get fi t, get healthy $39.99 (£26), and get a little bit more work done. If, however - also like us - these ambitions have fallen by the pizzashirt.net wayside, resulting in abandoned trainers and unshaken pom-poms, then you have come to the right place to get yourself back on track. is is because we think fashion should be smiley, approachable and up for a laugh. Just because we’re all a bunch of smarty pants doesn’t ‘Princess’ Hoops, mean we want to read a dissertation on the £1.99, Cambridge merits of the changing attitudes of the twentieth- Market century female in relation to the varying aesthetics of under garments - a.k.a. a bit pants. Washington Instead, each week we’ll be bringing you the Cheerleader customary shoot alongside some other fashiony Varsity tid-bits and bobs. In coming weeks expect to see Jacket, £55, cute animals, tropical fun and possibly a banana Supreme - The “Defi nitive rockit.co.uk phone, but for now content yourselves with the Monograph” of the16- sexy Coralie and her playground antics; shot Year Story, £27.50, on a frosty Friday morning, the cheerleading outfi t certainly made a few Dads’ weeks. She’s goodhoodstore.com sexy, she’s cute, she’s popular to boot, and we love her - Bring it on! ‘Get Fucked’ Beanie, £20, indcsn.com 22 SPORT JANUARY 20 2012 — WEEK 1
TIMKickabout KENNETT Blues battle Coventry The FA: guilty of injustice
must confess to not having his guilt is not provable, although my followed the recent racist gut says he probably did abuse Evra). to win 4-2 MIMI YAGOUB furore with anything other than ere is a trade off here: the FA peripheral attention. Plenty of wishes to deter further unsavoury Icolumn inches told us two things incidents of this nature, so they are we already know: racism is bad, and punishing Suárez. ey consider football should abolish racism. And, it justifi able to punish a man for a obviously, I strongly support both crime he may not have committed in statements. order to issue a warning. Suárez has What put me off was the vagueness become a scapegoat. of Suárez’s prosecution. As far as I e other motivation for the FA is can tell, the case was essentially the to avoid looking complicit in racist word of one man against the word behaviour. In other words: they of another, supported by lip-reading would rather punish an innocent ‘experts’ (it may as well be supported man than risk letting a guilty man go by palmistry for all the faith I put in free. lip-reading). What is worse than the apparent Suárez admits to one derogatory injustice of a conviction along use of the word ‘negro’, the these principles is that the case was commission’s report accuses him misrepresented to the, football- of seven, and Evra states that it loving public. Suárez is being happened ‘at least ten times’. e punished because he is guilty, we whole aff air was seemingly decided are told. In this deception the FA on the basis that Evra was deemed acknowledges that a utilitarian a credible witness and Suárez was justifi cation is not one that we fi nd considered to be “unreliable”. particularly convincing. Add in some fairly tawdry Luis e harm done to Suárez by libel is Suárez t-shirts, and I was ready to trivial compared to the harm done by ignore the damn thing completely. racism to society. But part of resisting But then I realised that the very racism is upholding justice. vagueness of the case makes it Citizens are innocent until proven fascinating, because it reveals the FA’s guilty, and the innocent should never philosophy. With a lack of convincing be punished. One viewing of Twelve evidence, they decided to convict. Angry Men is enough In this they make a clear statement to have ingrained that Blues captain Paul Hartley sets up the play as he leads his team to a hard-fought win that racism will not be tolerated. into me; perhaps the ey also risk the punishment of an FA should re-watch by Matthew Dickinson It wasn’t until the 30th minute that half, after central-midfi elder James May innocent man (wI am not asserting it. Football Correspondent the home side fi nally capitalised on their made a surging run to the edge of his that Suárez is innocent, merely that dominance, when a sharp cross was met opponents’ box, played a neat one-two e Blues came twice from behind to by a powerful Danny Kerrigan diving off Forde to his right, before distribut- secure a confi dent victory over Cov- header. ing the ball left for the arriving Kerrigan entry in what was an explosive end to e visitors were quick to reply. A who duly claimed his hat-trick end game of football. e win marks a near goal-scoring opportunity from a and put the Blues ahead for Lacrosse Blues lose continuation of Cambridge’s impres- Blues corner was converted without the fi rst time. sive Michelmas run of form, and puts hesitation into a rapid counter-attack e fourth goal was the The Blues put up a fi ght but fall to them four points clear of second-place by Coventry, resulting in a neat fi nish result of a threaded George Coventry at the top of the table with fi ve and Cambridge again having to Baxter pass to an unmarked league fi xtures remaining. recover a defi cit. Forde who, having calmly 11-8 defeat against Spencer 2nds In the early stages of the game the For a second time, brought the ball under Blues were comfortable, with the back a response was control on the edge of by Josh Findlay occasional gaps in the Cambridge for- four moving the ball around well and provided with- the area, put the Lacrosse Correspondent mation and claim goals of their own. delivering threatening direct passes; out hesitation game securely e fi nal quarter started with the two Captain Paul Hartley was unlucky not by the Blues, beyond Following the Christmas break, the teams with 6 goals each and Cambridge to give his side the lead with an attempt Haitham Sherif Coventry’s men’s lacrosse team returned to Cam- had everything to play for. Unfortu- from the edge of the box early on. shrugging off his man on the reach. bridge last weekend for their second nately, a couple of goals for the away Coventry began to play more posi- left-fl ank before driving the ball The free-flowing attack- fi xture against a tough Spencer side side early on in the quarter gave them tively as the game progressed, however, low into the area where it found a ing football which typified 2nds this year. the momentum they needed to win the denied only by the crossbar from a clinical Kerrigan fi nish to level the Cambridge going forward was e match started with the Spencer game, which ended at 8-11. freekick, before going 1-0 up after a score before half-time. present till the close, and sub- side being able to put away a couple of Looking ahead, the Cambridge side throw-in near the Cambridge by-line Cambridge looked increas- stitute George Hill was unlucky early goals against the home defence. have the most important fi xture of the was cutback into the path of a maraud- ingly strong going forward after not to capitalise ten-minutes Cambridge were able to respond how- season, the Varsity match, taking place ing Coventry forward. their return to the fi eld, aided before the end. ever, with captain Carl Tilbury feeding this term on February 25th. With Cam- e Blues piled on the pressure having by the introduction of striker The Blues will play Coven- attackman Jeremy McCarron after bridge victors in 2010 and 2011 they conceded, with centre-back James Day’s Daniel Forde. try again in a week’s time away receiving a pass off a textbook clear will be doing everything to continue the strong header from a corner narrowly The finest team goal of from home, and will surely be started by Josh Findlay breaking from streak into 2012. cleared off the line by the Coventry the game was supplied fi ve hoping to build on this strong team his defender to receive the ball from JAMES CORCUT defence. minutes into the second performance. goalkeeper Nick Evans. e second quarter saw Cambridge playing catch up to level the score. In the attacking half, Cambridge managed to convert a high percentage of their shots into goals, including a rebounded ball off the goalkeeper being caught Tennis Blues on to a winner and put into the back of the net by mid- by Cameron Johnston rivals Oxford. has been sensational at the net, Charlie fi elder Jaco Conradie. At the other end Tennis Correspondent But such fears have proved Cohen has impressed with his ground- of the pitch, Nick Evans made some unfounded as recruits from Cyprus, strokes and Sam Ashcroft has matured spectacular saves to deny Spencer many e Men’s Tennis Blues are hoping to Jersey and Repton adjusted and on court. of their chances. kick-start their 2012 BUCS campaign excelled on the tennis court. ey have Cambridge have opened up a three e second half began with the score with a win against their nearest rivals, all learned much from our coach, Nick point lead at the top of the Midlands 1a at 4 each. Attackman Alistair Norton Nottingham University. The Blues Brown, who beat Goran Ivanisevich in division. If they win against Notting- was able to dodge and outrun his showed true grit in Michaelmas, and 1991. ham next week, they will go four points defender, claiming a third goal to his were unbeaten in six league matches After a nervy start against Notting- clear. ey would be in pole position to name, whilst midfi elder Matthew Hal- to be top at Christmas, on thirteen ham University, the Blues won against win the Midlands division and set up liday also contributed to the Cambridge points. Leicester, Coventry, Birmingham and a play-off match for promotion to the tally with a well placed shot in the third 2011/12 is an important year for the Warwick. ey also put in a spirited Premier division. quarter. men’s Blues. e sudden departure display against overwhelming favou- Irrespective of the result next Strong eff orts were also seen in the of several older players threatened to rites, Bath, in the Cup. Constantine Wednesday, the Men’s Tennis Blues defensive half by Sohaib Chaudhry, leave the team short of talent and vul- Markides’s strength and endurance can look back with satisfaction and for- Chris Cavanagh and James orne, nerable to defeat at the hands of bitter have been on show, Jamie Muirhead ward with confi dence. though Spencer were able to exploit the WEEK 1 — JANUARY 20 2012 SPORT 23
e Fab Varsity Quiz 1. Who made the fi rst ever 13. Which UK university has transatlantic fl ight? the most ducks per square metre? 2. What was the original purpose of the Monopoly 14. Michael Fassbender has board game? stormed into cinema’s 3. elite this week in Steve Where is Prince Philip McQueen’s Shame, but in worshipped as a God? which much-acclaimed TV 4. What does what word series did he make his screen ‘avuncular’ mean? debut? 5. Terrence Malick’s illustrious 15. Which Cambridge academic and lengthy directorial career has been shortlisted for the began back in 1973. What ‘Hatchet Job of the Year’ was the fi lm? award after warning readers to skip the fi rst 200 pages of 6. How much does the CERN the book being reviewed? project cost? 16. Kanye West found a new 7. What is the fi rst astrological calling with his own fashion sign of the zodiac? line last S/S season. What 8. Which author has their was the main criticism of the 200th birthday this year? collection? 17. 9. What is CFRP? What was Blur’s band name before they signed to Food 10. PJ Harvey won this year’s records? Mercury prize, but who 18. won it the fi rst time it was Q: What famous play begins awarded, in 1992? with the words ‘Who’s there?’ 19. 11. What was the name of the What’s the email address of fi rst dog in space? the theatre editor? 20. 12. ‘Expands’ is an anagram of What is the opening song which sportswear material? to Bob Dylan’s Highway 61 (Clue: e making of many a Revisited?
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22 Football: Blues came twice from behind to secure a confident victory over Coventry
Sport in Brief Don’t just warm a chair, All the headlines from this week’s sport Dark Blues take the gloryMaTT Henderson choose the perfect seat. Downing take on Homerton in title clash
college Downing and Homerton will battle it out on Saturday as both sides look to take pole position in the Divsion 1 football league. The two teams will be looking to hold off fierce competition for the rest of the term from the teams coming up just behind them and will take note of the other title clash between Jesus and a confi- dent Christ’s outfit, which also takes place this weekend. Water Polo Blues looking to make a Don’t just warm a chair, splash in lent term university The Blues are looking to make their hard work in training choose the perfect seat. pay off in a busy Lent schedule. Having returned from their winter tour of Mallorca, they will be seek- ing to make the most of all the hard work they have put in over the past few weeks to give themselves a strong platform for success in the oxford captain John carter holds off the cambridge defence as he inspires his team to an emphatic victory against the light Blues in the biggest game of the university rugby calendar coming months. Captain Dan Woolcott believes by Michael Taylor line, the Oxford pack was appropriately straightforward pass from Blake and from both sides, but once Oxford no.8 that “If Cambridge can tighten their Rugby Correspondent penalized. when Scott Annett tripped Oxford Ben Girling snuck over from the line- game up, and get the squad train- Parity regained, then. Well, for a scrum-half Sam Edgerton in front of out just inside half-time, they never ing and playing together on a more Cambridge lost. If truth be told, they while – Scott Annett then tripped referee Pearson. looked back. The final score 19-11 in regular basis this team has great did not threaten victory. For all but a Oxford scrum-half in front of ref Dave The final score – Mitchell’s sojourn the Dark Blues’ favour, but it was far potential, it’s just not quite there few of these eighty minutes, the Light Pearson and Bramham-Law knocked through a tiring midfield – was pre- from close. y e t .” Blues trailed; Oxford, with more over the penalty to give Oxford a lead of pared by a loose turnover as Cushing’s In truth, Cambridge were shambolic. Read more online about their adventure, more directness, and more 13-10 at the interval. clearance was charged down. Perhaps, Only last year’s match winner and Blues season so far, as well as their thoughts possession, deserved their triumph. Fif- In the second half, Oxford strode and simply, these Cambridge errors prospect Will Smith did himself justice, on their upcoming fixtures. teen unanswered points in the second away. First, Karl Outen was driven over were punished more clinically and but even he was guilty of running infield half confirmed superiority, and so these as Cambridge failed to defend against fatally than any of Oxford’s. too often where the dominant Oxford goals in gibraltar give seasons are defined. the maul which they had so often used If pressure told, or if form ran out, pack turned over ball all too easily. Nerves were settled when Downing’s themselves this term. Bramham-Law then neither was the first time. Each The Oxford side, ably stewarded Blues a lift Steve Townend – the fourth fly-half to then added another penalty before Tom captain, though, told his own story. by lock Will Fell, had learnt their les- start for the Blues in Michaelmas – con- Mitchell, the England Sevens player Carter cited the cohesion of his side: sons from last year’s defeat it seemed. university The Blues football team verted a simple chance when Oxford and Oxford fly-half, jinked through the ‘Our work, our emotional together- Winger Sam Wareham stuck like glue made the most of the winter break openside Louis Mather failed to roll second channel. The margin, 28-10, was ness were crucial. This [elation] is a to Smith throughout, whilst outside to head for sunnier climes and slot away. Three minutes gone, 3-0. not unkind to either side. group feeling, which makes it more centre Oscar Vallance had far too much home the goals overseas. Oxford responded immediately: The most contentious issue of the magnificent.’ From the other corner, pace for his opposite number, Cam- Managing to take two wins against stolen line-out ball was shipped wide match involved Oxford captain John Guinness-King reflected on a victory bridge’s Andy Murdoch, marauding the Gibraltar U21s and Cartagena, and Will Kane was bundled over from Carter and Cambridge’s Dave Allen. wrought from a full match’s worth of through the midfield unchecked. the Blues feel they have put them- close range. Oxford converted and Allen threw a punch at Carter who excellence: ‘They sustained their effort Light Blues captain Tommy Palacios, selves in the perfect position from scored a penalty to lead to 10-3. received a cut eye and had to go off for a for eighty minutes. We competed well it must be said, carried the ball well which to try and achieve promotion Cambridge responded as full back blood injury, but the referee did not see early on, but we just couldn’t get the and made the yards that his pack could this year. Tom O’Toole countered and thought and so Allen went unpunished. ball. Their discipline and commitment not. However, he was bizarrely subbed “The encouraging performances he had touched down but the TMO The Oxford scores were more the were exceptional.’ off early into the second half without and great results that came on tour decided the Oxford full- had got there consequence of Cambridge indiscipline The 21’s too, could not inflict defeat - it appeared - injury. The Cambridge have given the Blues the perfect first. He had – but it did not matter: than just reward for creative brilliance. on their Dark Blues rivals. Defending comeback was never on and but for build up for the BUCS football to be the ensuing scrum was demolished Penalties in front of the posts were champions Cambridge initially kept better hands from Oxford, the score played this term.” and, dragging it down on their own concededDon’t when just warm Townend a chair, dropped a pace with Oxford after early scores would have been embarrassing. choose theAre perfect youseat. sitting comfortably? Then let’s talk about your future. And why choosing Nabarro Are you sitting comfortably? Then let’s talk could put youabout in yourthe future. driving And why seat, choosing the Nabarrobox seat Don’t just warm a chair, and indeed, fromcould put time you in to the time, driving theseat, thehot box seat… seat and indeed, from time to time, the hot seat… choose the perfect seat. To find out Tomore, find outplease more, pleasevisit: visit: www.nabarro.com/graduateswww.nabarro.com/graduates
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