Vol. 36, No. 8 RCL Member News Sunday, Dec 9, 2018

Fetches Of The Month: Team Edin Names: , , Rasmus Wranå, Ages: 33, 27, 24, 29 Club: Karlstad, SWE Welcome to week 8 aka the first week of Round 2! If you didn’t guess, the last newsletter was inspired by quotes from The Holiday.

This week’s newsletter is brought to you by IBC’s Christmas special, Lee Majors and a bitch with a toaster.

There Are People Who Are Having Trouble Making Their Miracle Happen Fun(?) facts: Did you know that you can track the rocks on > Olympic silver (2018) and bronze* (2014) sheets A-D? Just download the Klutch medallists *Edin & Eriksson only app to track rock times, rotations, push/pull on > The team spends ~1/2 of the year in Canada delivery and other info. Like crack, the first few > Wranå is a hockey fan times are free and then there’s a charge. Check > Eriksson knows the most about Canada out klutchcurling.ca for more information. > Edin has had nine back surgeries in nine years > The team lost their Olympic funding in 2018: the equivalent of $150, 000 US a year

Let’s Be Honest, You *Paid* For The Women Hey ladies, Royalz Gurlz Curlz women’s Trailer Park bonspiel is looking for teams for the 9am draw on Saturday, Jan 12. $200 gets you two 8 end games, food, raffles, silent auction and You Can Barely See Them Nipples cash prizes. Register with Andrea McAnally: Registration for Riverdale’s notorious Do It On [email protected] The Ice Bonspiel in March will to local teams on Jan 12 starting at 3pm at Pegasus. For Are You Glad To See Me, Or Is That A Shotgun more info, check the website. In case you In Your Pocket? hadn’t guessed, this year’s theme is Fancy a little new year travel? The Liverpool, NS “Heatwave” so start planning those slutty curling club is hosting their first ever Pride Spiel costumes over the holiday break. on Sat, Jan 5. $100 per team includes entertainment…and chili! Register before Jan 1, I Guess We Don't Know You Well Enough Yet 2019 by emailing [email protected] To Call You Dick

Gentle reminder: if you know you’re going to Where are we? You mean, "When are we?" default (and therefore not use the ice), be sure Here is what’s happening around town this to give the club a shout so that the sheet week: doesn’t get cleaned and pebbled twice. It’s a waste of $$$. Vol. 36, No. 8 RCL Member News Sunday, Dec 9, 2018

Concert: Stars, with opening act My Brightest - Gay books / biographies (perhaps Pulitzer Diamond, play the Danforth (Dec 12-13) prize winner Less?) - Sex toys (nothing says Xmas like a butt plug) Film: If you can’t get off the couch, check out - Gift certificates (Cineplex, iTunes, Jennifer Anniston in the Netflix adaptation of Steamworks) YA book, Dumplin’. It’s going to be better than - Marijuana (purchase from the gov’t now for the grim new Andy Serkis adaptation of Mowgli guaranteed delivery by Christmas 2019) (also Netflix). Both came out Dec 7 - Booze (Nothing says “survive the holidays” quite like a mountain of liver-pickling liquid) - Hot Docs For The Holidays returns with free holiday screenings of classics like Love, Actually, White Christmas, and A Christmas Story (Dec 14 – 16, Hot Docs )

TV: S2 of Counterpart kicks off on Crave Dec 9. The retro spy thriller stars JK Simmons in dual roles in two very different Berlins.

Other: Cirque kicks off Corteo, a festive parade imagined by a clown. Presumably it’s better Trivia: The Legend Continues than that description (Dec 12-16, Scotiabank The answer to the last trivia about the most Arena) bankable Hallmark star is C: Candace Cameron- Bure. Congrats to all of the Googlers! Grab your fav pet and $20 for a round of Awkward Holiday Pet Photos (1-4pm, Dec 15, Now for this week’s question: Hanukkah (Dec 2- Pet Uno) 10) is the Festival of Light, observed by lighting a candelabrum with nine branches, called Sometimes You Have To *Slap* Them In The a menorah. One branch is typically placed Face Just To Get Their Attention! above or below the others and its candle is ‘Tis the season to struggle to find gifts for that used to light the other eight. What is that tricky beeyotch on your list. Thankfully gay special candle called? websites have all kinds of underwhelming, obvious and otherwise useless suggestions: A) Dreidel B) Shamash - Underwear (no Hanes allowed) C) Latkes - Shaving apparel (’cause, facial hair, amirite?) D) Sufganiyot - Socks (’cause, feet, amirite?) Please report all spelling & grammar mistakes to .