HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2

SONY PICTURES ANIMATION

Second Draft RS/AS 9.20.13 HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 1.

INT. TV STUDIO - DAY ”Queenie” logo and animation...dramatic shots of Frankenstein... QUEENIE Today on Queenie..the whole world thought he was evil...a monster bent only on destruction... CLIP from show of Frankenstein with Queenie, a Latifian host. QUEENIE (CONT’D) During the tough times...what upset you the most? FRANKENSTEIN Fire. Fire bad.(sighs) I told myself I wouldn’t cry. Because my tear ducts are on my ears. Oh boy... His ears start to tear up... CLIP of Frankenstein on the show arguing with his dad, DR. FRANKENSTEIN. SUPER: MY DAD BUILT ME THEN TRIED TO KILL ME FRANKENSTEIN (CONT’D) You couldn’t even take the time to name me! Why is my first name your last name?! DR. FRANKENSTEIN I was busy! I was under a lot of pressure. Ask Igor! CUT TO a shrugging IGOR in audience. The crowd boos loudly. Dr. Frankenstein charges Igor and the crowd protects him. QUEENIE (V.O.) But now he’s out of the shadows with a best selling book. Slide on book cover “PIECES OF ME” by Frankenstein (large photo) and Ghost Writer (small photo of a Ghost with glasses). CUT TO Frankenstein dancing on stage cheerfully with Queenie as the CROWD goes nuts. Daytime dance music plays. They settle into their seats to loud applause. QUEENIE It’s Frankenstein! I’m so happy for you...and all your friends, who are also doing so well. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 2.

FRANKENSTEIN Well, they’re good monsters and they deserve good things. Murray was a natural for fashion.

INT. PROJECT RUNWAY-TYPE SHOW A gay LATINO MAN stands next to a MODEL in a CHIFFON PARTY DRESS. MURRAY critiques from his chair on a panel. MURRAY I like where you’re going with this, Cicero - but it feels like it needs bandages. Y’hearing me, bro? You’re missing a chance to make a statement. Bandage that sucker. CICERO nods emotionally as the crowd cheers. Cicero quickly pulls off the dress, tears the fabric and wraps it around his model mummy-style.

INT. QUEENIE STUDIO QUEENIE And the Invisible Man, he’s everywhere. FRANKENSTEIN Yeah, Griffin’s workout video really caught on.

INT. WORKOUT ROOM - DAY GRIFFIN’S WORKOUT VIDEO is on the TV MONITOR. Griffin’s glasses and sweatbands move around in rhythm as several WOMEN in workout clothes try their best to approximate his moves. GRIFFIN 4...3...2...and 1! Do you feel it right here? Good! Now bring it back. 8...7...6...5...

INT. QUEENIE STUDIO QUEENIE Even Bigfoot... FRANKENSTEIN Bigfoot’s tearing up in the Italian Soccer League. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 3.

EXT. SOCCER FIELD As we hear an ANNOUNCER scream in Italian, A SOCCER PLAYER charges downfield and takes a shot. BIGFOOT’S right foot is blocking the entire net. The ball bounces off his foot, another PLAYER kicks the rebound but the foot blocks it again. The crowd and announcer go nuts.

INT. QUEENIE STUDIO QUEENIE Now I’m gonna get deep with you. Level with me. Frankenstein takes his head off and lets Queenie hold it. She looks into his eyes. QUEENIE (CONT’D) Count Dracula. Probably the best known of y’all. And yet he’s chosen to avoid the limelight. FRANKENSTEIN Yeah...Drac’s old school. He’s about family. And his hotel. QUEENIE Really? Do monsters still go there?

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT DRACULA is barking orders to a row of ZOMBIES, readjusting their bowties and eyeballs (similar to the cut scene from the * first movie). A sparse number of MONSTER GUESTS circulate. FRANKENSTEIN (V.O.) Sure. Not as many as when we were in hiding, but it’s still got the best food. Dracula samples a squirrel head on a toothpick and gives his approval to the GARGOYLE, who is now head chef. Widen to see GHOST TABLECLOTHS flying up to Dracula and receiving specialized centerpieces. FRANKENSTEIN Don’t worry about Drac. Actually, this weekend every monster who’s any monster’s gonna be up there. Let’s just say it’s gonna be a blowout. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 4.

QUICK POP of Frankenstein’s headless body raising the roof as the crowd goes nuts. OPENING CREDITS MONTAGE EXT. HOTEL ENTRANCE - NIGHT MONSTERS and HUMANS in formal wear pour into the lobby as we pass the HUMAN-FREE SINCE 1898 sign being crudely modified by a Zombie to read HUMAN-FREE SINCE 1898S WELCOME OF COURSE MUSIC: DADDY’S GIRL (ROCK VERSION) PHOTO TABLEAU - Johnny in tuxedo posing with his USHERS, including his straightlaced athletic brothers BRETT and KENT, and several odd MONSTERS. His Backpack is the best man, wearing a bowtie. FLASH EFFECT to STILL PHOTO of the group. PHOTO TABLEAU - Mavis in wedding gown posing with her BRIDESMAIDS, including CLARABELLE, a monster with frog limbs, KELSEY, an 8 foot tall slimy MONSTER with sharp HORNS for arms, and two redheaded SISTERS of Johnny, all in matching shiny purple bridesmaid dresses. Her MAID OF HONOR is the SHRUNKEN HEAD, strung to a coathanger with a bridesmaid dress, * hung on a small coat rack. The Sisters look uncomfortable. * FLASH EFFECT to STILL PHOTO of the group. Mavis is invisible. PHOTO TABLEAU - Johnny and Mavis together, Johnny is flanked by his polite but stiff family, including his brothers, sisters, MIKE, his crewcut Dad, and LINDA, his chatty, redhead housewifey mom. Mavis is flanked by a nervous Dracula. She fixes his hair for him and he gives a tense, wooden smile. FLASH EFFECT to STILL PHOTO - Drac and Mavis are invisible.

INT. HOTEL BALLROOM - LATER Johnny at the alter with his backpack next to him, holding the ring. Coming up the aisle are BRETT and KELSEY. She makes eye contact with a MONSTER GIRLFRIEND in the audience and rolls her eyes toward Brett like “I can’t believe I’m paired with this loser”. A trail of slime follows her on the aisle. WIPE EFFECT TO Johnny and Mavis kissing at the alter, married. Dracula is teary eyed but as the kiss goes on too long and moves them apart with telepathy from his hand. Johnny flies backward into the BLOB, and has to be pulled out from his body. Dracula apologizes as they resume. WIPE EFFECT TO HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 5.

POST WEDDING - an older female MONSTER offers some rice for * some Human RELATICES of Johnny to throw at the couple. A * HUMAN GIRL grabs a handful but it turns out they are maggots. * She screams as they crawl over her hand and up her arm. * RECEIVING LINE - A touchy feely PRICKLY MONSTER hugs Johnny’s Dad Mike, causing him to cringe in agony. The emotional BLOB hugs his wife Linda so hard she is pulled into his body. Her sons try to politely pull her out. WIPE EFFECT TO RECEPTION - Mavis and Johnny finish their first dance and break off, Johnny with his MOM and Mavis with Dracula. Mavis and Dracula dance on the wall and the ceiling as everyone kvells. Dracula hands Mavis down to dance with Johnny and quickly pulls Linda up to join him on the ceiling. She struggles to dance upside down as gravity makes her dress reveal goofy grandma underwear. Dracula smiles at her assuringly, she smiles back with distorted hanging face. WIPE EFFECT TO MARTY (the “you look pale as well” monster) giving a heartfelt, poetic, completely unintelligible speech. Shots of Mavis, Drac, and various MONSTERS extremely moved. Shots of Johnny’s straight laced human PARENTS and BROTHERS mystified. Marty finishes to applause and hands the mic to the Backpack. After a silent beat we see Johnny nodding and choking up. WIPE EFFECT TO Mavis with Johnny cutting the WEDDING CAKE. The cake screams in horror a la scream cheese as it gets cut. All the monsters applaud. Johnny’s family smiles uncomfortably as they are served cake. As one brother reaches for his, the VENUS FLY TRAP CENTERPIECE devours it, taking his watch and his arm as well. Mavis struggles to pull him out and shoots a look at the Venus Flytrap, who tries to act like he was just kidding. WIPE EFFECT TO PULL OUT from clock reading 5:30 am...Drac, Frank, Griffin, Wayne, and Murray have taken over for the band of ZOMBIE COMPOSERS, who watch as they drunkenly try to finish the song we’ve been hearing through the montage. Johnny, also drunk, sings with Dracula as the MONSTERS in the crowd go wild. Johnny’s dad Mike sleeps at his table. The rest of his family smiles politely, except for one drunk brother, BRETT, who is canoodling with Kelsey. Johnny sings to Mavis and the GHOST TABLECLOTHS go nuts, suddenly revealing themselves and dancing along, waking up Mike, who sees Brett covered in Kelsey’s weird shaped lipstick marks and whacks him. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 6.

Dracula takes out his ukelele and SLOWLY sings the ending to Mavis as Johnny holds her. Some MONSTER COUPLES slow dance. DRACULA AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE MY MOONLIGHT BUT NOW YOU CAN SHINE ON EVERYONE BECAUSE YOU’RE...JOHNNY’S GIRL JOHNNY’S GIRL READY TO FLY AND SEE THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD JOHNNY’S GIRL, AND KIND OF DADDY’S TOO LOVE IS MAKING ROOM FOR ALL THE BEST FOR YOU Mavis runs from Johnny and hugs Dracula, teary eyed. Other monsters’ tears soak the floor. DRACULA (CONT’D) Housekeeping! A WITCH provides a SPONGEMOP, who giggles until he absorbs the tears and then bawls. DISSOLVE TO: INT. MAVIS AND JOHNNY’S BEDROOM - ONE YEAR LATER Johnny is still singing, this time to Mavis’ pregnant belly. JOHNNY CUZ YER DADDY’S GIRL...OR BOY DADDY’S GIRL...OR BOY MAVIS I’m hungry again, honey. Can you get * me some ice cream with anchovies? * JOHNNY I don’t know, sweetie, that’s not in the book your dad got us. He produces a manual “WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU’RE EXPECTING A VAMPIRE” and reads from it. JOHNNY (CONT’D) It says you need to increase your spider intake, so he’ll be able to climb ceilings properly. And eat lots of goat bile. MAVIS Johnny, there’s no guarantee the kid’s even gonna be a vampire! (MORE) HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 7. MAVIS (CONT'D) I’d be thrilled if he’s humany just like you! Dracula swoops in. DRACULA Humany? With thousands of years of Dracula genes? Not gonna happen! MAVIS Dad? I just wanted zucchini and ice cream. DRACULA Ice cream! Do you know where that comes from?! They take the milk from a cow! Using clean gloves! And stir it with sweet flavory syrup! (quivering with disgust) Uggggrrrgghhh! Just follow the book! Have some monster ball soup! Dracula produces a tray of soup with balls of monster faces gurgling in it. Mavis smiles, resigned to her Dad’s meddling. She takes her spoon to eat it and one of the Monster Balls devours the spoon. MONSTER BALL Sorry. INT. DRACULA’S BEDROOM - LATER Dracula excitedly walks to a gothic CALENDAR with a Baby Vampire on each month. He marks off another day with an X. Calendar SHUFFLES through months, as different Baby Vampires are seen. Finally land on a month with a bunch of X’s leading up a day marked THE BIG NIGHT. DISSOLVE TO: Mavis smiling, holding her BABY BOY asleep in hospital bed. TILT and WIDEN to reveal her bed is hanging upside down. Johnny shakes hands with the DOCTOR and NURSE, filthy ZOMBIES but wearing immaculate smocks and gloves. DISSOLVE TO: BRISS CEREMONY in LIBRARY or LIVING ROOM Johnny stands next to a RABBI as his family watches happily. His father Grampa Mike holds the baby BOY as DRACULA watches curiously. The MOHEL starts in on the baby with a small sharp instrument. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 8.

CUT TO all the MONSTERS watching, horrified like it’s the scariest thing they’ve ever seen. Dracula instinctively lifts the Mohel’s clamp telekinetically and makes it chase the Mohel around the room, swiping at his dick. Johnny calms Dracula down and he stops. DISSOLVE TO: JOHNNY AND MAVIS’ HOTEL SUITE - SIX MONTHS LATER The baby, DENNIS, is now a year old with goofy red hair. Johnny’s parents, Grampa Mike and Grandma Linda are still present, and Frank, Eunice, Murray, Griffin, Wayne and Wanda are there with gifts. Johnny is in between Dracula and Mike. JOHNNY Can’t believe Dennis is six months old already! GRAMPA MIKE Is this a handsome kid or what? Look at that red hair! DRACULA (singsongy) I don’t think it’s going to stay red... GRAMPA MIKE I think it is... DRACULA (singsongy) I think I see some black roots... GRAMPA MIKE I don’t think I do... DRACULA (singsongy) ...I have vampire vision...I can see it... Johnny shares a troubled look with Mavis. MAVIS Okay. Please, you two, I don’t want him to hear his grandpas arguing. His hair doesn’t matter, right? DRACULA Of course not. He’s perfect whatever color-haired vampire he is. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 9.

GRAMPA MIKE What if he’s not a vampire? He doesn’t have fangs. DRACULA (singsongy) I think they’re growing in...right, little Denisovich? GRAMPA MIKE His name is Dennis...named after my father. DRACULA (singsongy) It’s not his vampire name...my wittle Denisovichy-Weesovichy... WAYNE (aside) Wow. Is this behavior getting you sick, too? GRIFFIN Uh, you can’t see me rolling my eyes right now? WAYNE No. GRIFFIN Oh. Well, I’m rolling my eyes right now. Grampa Mike repeatedly tosses a small BASEBALL to indifferent Dennis as Dracula counters by tossing him a tiny TROLL. JOHNNY Okay! So, anyway...I’m really gonna miss you when you leave, Dad. GRAMPA MIKE You sure you don’t want to come home? Don’t you need to get a real job, son? JOHNNY What? I’m working here at the hotel! It’s a real job, right, Drac? DRACULA Uh, yes, Johnny’s in charge of working with, eh, supervising, uh, human relations. Here. Staying here. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 10.

JOHNNY Gonna rock it for ya, Drac. DRACULA Ehh, yes. Rock. Staying. Good. Dennis is now putting the ball, then the troll, in his mouth. GRANDMA LINDA Oh. You’re gonna take in humans full time? JOHNNY Yeah, it’s gonna be awesome. Humans and monsters, sharing the same towels and spoons. It’s a huge step for man and monsterkind! DRACULA Eee...we’ll phase them in, yes. You know, one or two...a decade. Okay! Time for presents! MURRAY Alright, let’s do this boy up! Check out what I got him - bling! WAYNE Wow, is it cursed? MURRAY Super-cursed! Only the best. Straight from the crypt! Drac puts Dennis on the ground... JOHNNY Uh, he’s just starting to walk, so maybe it’s heavier than -- Murray puts a huge gold necklace on him. Dennis wobbles and takes half a step and falls, crying. Mavis grabs him as Murray frowns. MAVIS Okay! Okay! I’m sorry, Uncle Murray. I don’t think he’s ready for this. MURRAY Okay, alright, you’re the mama. JOHNNY Okay, anybody...else? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 11.

Frank and Eunice are somewhat reluctant. Dracula unwraps it. EUNICE I hope it’s acceptable... A small guillotine. Frank demonstrates... DRACULA “My First Guillotine”! Very educational! Well played, Frank! Mavis grabs it just before Drac hands it to Dennis. MAVIS It’s great! Thank you! We just have to babyproof it. Mavis hands Dennis to Johnny and walks around looking for some rubber guards. Reveal everything is babyproofed, there are gates everywhere, guards on all the toys, and long rails on Dennis’ coffin/bed. MAVIS (CONT’D) Johnny do you know where you put the rubber guards? JOHNNY (embarrassed) I’ll look honey. Johnny hands Dennis to Dracula. EUNICE Now guillotines are dangerous? DRACULA She made me do this to the whole hotel. (singsongy) Control freak...

QUICK BABYPROOFING MONTAGE In the hotel lobby, Zombie Bellmen are babyproofing Suits of Armor’s SPEARS with soft guards. A TRAP DOOR getting a baby lock from MR. GHOULIGAN. WITCH MAIDS lined up. Zombie Bellman puts soft guards on their pointy NOSES. A GATE is put up on the Labyrinth STAIRCASE TO NOWHERE. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 12.

In a BATHROOM a MONSTER struggles to lift a babyproofed TOILET SEAT and rips the toilet out, shooting water. In a classic MAD SCIENTIST LABORATORY with electric wires and tubes we follow a ZOMBIE carrying something past a giant electric cable to a GIANT WALL SOCKET. He plugs a giant PLASTIC BABYPROOF PLUG into vacant socket. TRANSITION: VAMPIRE GROWTH CHART indicates the boy has grown a few inches.

JOHNNY AND MAVIS’ HOTEL SUITE - SEVEN MONTHS LATER Johnny is rushing in with Dracula. DRACULA What’s up? He’s okay? Mavis is holding Dennis, over a year old, with curly red hair. MAVIS Dad, he said his first word! DRACULA He did! MAVIS Come on, honey - say it again. DENNIS Bleh, bleh-bleh! Dracula is stunned. DRACULA I don’t say bleh, bleh-bleh! MAVIS We didn’t say you did! DRACULA Then where did he get that? DENNIS Bleh, bleh-bleh! MAVIS Well, maybe sometimes you say it... DRACULA I only say it when I say I don’t say it! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 13.

DENNIS Bleh, bleh-bleh! DRACULA Okay, kid, we get it. You can talk. (softening) Denisovich! He sneaks a peek for fangs. MAVIS Dad... DRACULA Just checking for cavities. Drac leaves. Mavis playfully turns to Dennis. MAVIS Bleh, bleh-bleh! Dennis giggles. Dracula in the distance... DRACULA (V.O.) I heard that! GROWTH CHART WIPE TO INT. DENNIS’ BEDROOM - ONE YEAR LATER Dennis is now 2, still no fangs. Just a goofy looking happy kid with a curly red afro. Dracula has snuck in through the window in bat form... DRACULA Denisovich! DENNIS Bat? Dracula turns into himself. He whispers to Dennis. DRACULA It’s Papa Drac! Cool, huh? Now, look, I’m turning into a bat again! He turns into a bat. DENNIS Cool! DRACULA Yes! Cool, like I said! Now, you try! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 14.

Dennis play acts turning into a bat and flaps around. DENNIS I’m a bat!! DRACULA Uh, I mean a real bat - DENNIS I’m a bat! (making buck teeth) Fneeee!! DRACULA Denisovich...take a breath. You can really turn into a bat. Start with an arm. DENNIS What? DRACULA (trying to stay smiley) Just focus! Try! Feel the bat! Dennis moves one arm around, confused. DRACULA (CONT’D) Come on, let’s see one wing! Dennis starts to cry. DRACULA (CONT’D) No, no, no, shh! Look! Dennis is scared. Dracula lifts him up. DRACULA (CONT’D) Look! You’re flying! Fun! DENNIS (crying more) NO! Scared! DRACULA Okay, okay, please stop crying! Dracula puts Dennis on a table. DRACULA (CONT’D) Look! Look at me! Dracula flies into the wall, crashing. Dennis still crying. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 15.

DRACULA (CONT’D) Look! I’m flying into the wall! Dracula crashes and hurts himself repeatedly. Finally Dennis laughs! Dracula keeps crashing. DRACULA (CONT’D) Ahh, yes! It’s funny! Dennis’ laughing makes him fall off the table. He cries louder than ever. MAVIS (O.C.) Dennis?! Dracula quickly throws a sock into Dennis’ mouth, quieting him. Mavis rushes in. MAVIS (CONT’D) Why does he have a sock in his mouth? DRACULA I know, right? Terrible twos! EXTREME GROWTH CHART WIPE TO EXT. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA - PRESENT DAY - SUNSET SUPER: PRESENT DAY A MONSTER is finishing new sign now reads “NOW OPEN TO ALL MONSTERS AND THREE OR FOUR HUMANS.” A mix of hearses and conventional cars line the entrance.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DUSK As we enter the hustling and bustling lobby we now see nearly as many HUMAN GUESTS as MONSTER GUESTS, all dressed vacationy. The lobby looks the same except a little more hi-tech, there is a stand-up VIDEO DISPLAY highlighting activities available. Two grumpy AQUATIC LOOKING MONSTERS, MR. and MRS. GILL, approaches Dracula holding a plate of food. MR. GILL Count Dracula! What’s with this food? Cooked meat!? Who would do that to meat? DRACULA I’m sorry, Mr. Gill, You must have gotten a human dish. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 16.

He quickly grabs Mr. Gill’s dish and spots a HUMAN COUPLE struggling with a plate of food that is biting them. DRACULA (CONT’D) I believe this dish is yours, Mr. Reynolds. HUMAN HUSBAND Yes, the steak. What’s this dish? It’s biting us! DRACULA Yes, that’s the tasting menu. Sorry. Dracula takes the tasting dish and gives it to the Gills. Dracula walks into the new TV ROOM. Monsters and humans alike are watching a football game on one monitor. Johnny watches with pride. DRACULA (CONT’D) (forced smile) Everyone good in here? GUESTS Hi, Mr. Dracula! Great! Etc. JOHNNY Hey, Drac! Told you they’d flip for the TV room! On the other monitor, the GHOSTBUSTERS are fighting ghosts. The human guests laugh, but the monsters scream in horror. DRACULA Oh, my! I hope there aren’t any kids watching. JOHNNY On it. Johnny tends to some scared young monsters. DRACULA (thinks) Kids...oh, it’s 8 pm already! Denisovich is up!

INT. DENNIS’ BEDROOM - NIGHT Dracula sneaks in and watches sleeping six year-old Dennis, small for his age, still goofy looking with curly red hair. Dennis wakes up. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 17.

DRACULA Rise and shine, my Denisovich! DENNIS Hi Papa... DRACULA Hello, my little devil! Did you have sweet nightmares? DENNIS Uh huh...I dreamed that I saw... that I saw...I dreamed that I saw an Ankylosaurus. DRACULA Oh....and were you drinking his blood? DENNIS No. DRACULA Just throwing it out there. As Dennis continues Dracula peeks and pokes in his mouth, * takes out a fang ruler, measures, marks progress in notebook. * DENNIS DRACULA And he said that, he said Uh huh.... that he had a clubbed tail Uh huh... cebause he lived in tropical climates... and cebause he You don’t say... lived in, in the cretacious period. Long time ago...yes... Mavis enters. MAVIS Dad! Why did you wake him up? DRACULA What do you mean? It’s after 8! MAVIS I know, Dad, but don’t you remember the new sleep schedule? He’s going to human classes half the day. She indicates a very complicated SLEEP SCHEDULE on the wall. MAVIS (CONT’D) If he could just sleep till 2 am tonight it’d be so great for him. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 18.

DRACULA But Honeydeath, it’s a special day! Four of Wayne’s wolfpups are having a birthday party tonight! MAVIS Dad, Wayne has 300 pups, almost every day is a birthday for four of them. I love them, but I just think Dennis needs to be around some kids like him. Okay, Dad? (singing to Dennis) Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are... DENNIS (groggy) Mommy, I’m too old for lullaby... DRACULA (not listening to him) What? That’s not how that one goes. MAVIS This is the way most people sing it. DRACULA Most people? What’s wrong with (singing) “Suffer, suffer, scream in pain, Blood is spilling from your brain”? MAVIS Daddy... DRACULA Come on, you know how I sang it to you... (singing) Zombies * DRACULA, MAVIS (harmonizing beautifully) gnaw you like a plum, piercing cries, and you succumb... Dennis is fast asleep. DRACULA Still works. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 19.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - MOMENTS LATER Dracula returns to the lobby and admonishes the ZOMBIE CLERKS at the FRONT DESK, who are playing with their IPhones. DRACULA Hey! Thaddeus! Gray Eye! Get to work! ZOMBIE Grrrnnnhhh..! DRACULA I don’t care if it’s a “cool app”! He sees they are playing the game Plants vs. Zombies. DRACULA (CONT’D) And why would you want to kill zombies?! The Zombie Clerk shrugs like, “you have a point”. DRACULA (CONT’D) Now Porridge Head, did you call a hearse for the Gremlinbergs? PORRIDGE HEAD is working on a desktop computer. Dracula looks at his screen, revealing a profile page with every interest listed as “Brains”: DRACULA (CONT’D) No! You’re checking your Facebook page! Again! Johnny and the AV NERD ZOMBIE enter. JOHNNY Drac, you need social media to promote the hotel. Right, Clifton? CLIFTON (nerdly voice) Mnnnrrrgghhhh.... JOHNNY So, Drac, I wanted to go through some thoughts I had as your human relations coordinating co-assistant. DRACULA Sure, of course. It’s a real job. Not a cheap excuse to keep Mavis and Denisovich here. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 20.

JOHNNY Right...so I was thinking. Since we have so many humans now, maybe, some human staff...? DRACULA What? No, no, I’m not taking jobs away from monsters. We’re accepted but we have a long way to go. JOHNNY I know, I’m just thinking about a couple of places. Like, I hate to say it, but maybe the bartender? DRACULA What’s wrong with Dr. Jekyll? JOHNNY Well, people are a little weirded out by his mixing process...? Over at the BAR, DR. JEKYLL mixes a Pina Colada for HUMAN PATRONS using TEST TUBES. They look concerned. PATRON This is really just a Pina Colada?! DR. JEKYLL What else would it be? (to next patrons) What’s your poison, folks? DRACULA He does that just for show. Those drinks are potion-free! He went to rehab. Everyone deserves a second chance! JOHNNY Okay..and the lounge act? The magician? DRACULA What’s wrong with Harry Three-Eye? JOHNNY I don’t think the humans dig it. CUT TO: HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 21.

INT. HOTEL LOUNGE Humans and Monsters watch HARRY THREE-EYE, a three-eyed grotesque magician with wings and tentacles with teeth coming out of his head. He wears a tux jacket, bow tie and a small goatee. His ASSISTANT is another grotesque monster with a platinum wig. HARRY THREE-EYE May I have a volunteer from the audience. Come right up to Zelda here...thank you sir. A BLUE MONSTER walks up. HARRY THREE-EYE (CONT’D) My friends, I will now cut this gentleman in half. As corny showbiz MUSIC plays, he produces a saw and simply cuts the BLUE MONSTER in half. Blue guts and gunk come out of either side of the Blue Monster. The Monster guests in the lounge applaud politely, but humans are horrified. The Blue Monster nods to Harry, like “you’re good”. INT. LOBBY - SAME DRACULA No. Harry’s great. Can’t blame Harry for the crowd not being hip. JOHNNY Okay...what about Wayne? DRACULA Are you nuts? He’s my boy! JOHNNY Maybe something other than tennis? DRACULA He’s very knowledgable! JOHNNY That’s not the problem.

EXT. TENNIS COURT - DUSK Wayne, in tennis whites, is instructing a male HUMAN GUEST. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 22.

WAYNE Okay, so what you want to do is lift the racquet right on impact, so you get that nice topspin. Try and hit one. The HUMAN GUEST bounces and hits the ball with his racquet. Wayne instinctively starts to BARK and wildly chases the ball across the court, derailing the lesson.

INT. LOBBY - SAME DRACULA Listen, Wayne needs the work. And hiring humans, it just feels off. JOHNNY Drac, you can’t be afraid of change. Remember how everyone wanted me to change my old backpack and I resisted? DRACULA You never changed it. JOHNNY (holding it up) No, but I had it washed! We were separated for 3 hours! Johnny hugs the backpack as Dracula’s cell phone rings. DRACULA Oh, no. This stupid phone thing you got me. JOHNNY What? This is cool, you’re getting a text. Drac tries to press the right button to answer but with his long fingernails it’s very hard. DRACULA Ehh...gehhh..it’s not doing it! JOHNNY I got it... Johnny finds the text. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Hey, it’s from Frank. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 23.

DRACULA (reading) “Drac - met this guy at a...white party”. What’s that? “He’s the Quinston hotel heir, big fan and wants to talk about opportunities with you.” Opportunities? I don’t need any opportunities! JOHNNY Drac, those hotels are huge! Let’s at least hear what he has to say! Ya gotta text Frank back. DRACULA Alright, fine! He tries to text but his nails are impossible. DRACULA (CONT’D) Gah! How do you do this? JOHNNY It’s easy. Look, I’ll text Mavis. (texting) “Psyched for Date Night.” See? And now look. She texted right back. “Gotta cancel. Can’t leave Dennis.” (texting) “Are we...never allowed...to be a alone again? I need...to feel... loved too.” And...send! DRACULA O-kay. All that taught me is that you’re pathetic. JOHNNY Yeah. Got it. Maybe you should just get Bluetooth. DRACULA Bluetooth, come over here! BLUETOOTH, a giant blue tooth, hops over with a boing sound. DRACULA (CONT’D) So now what? INT. HOTEL PARTY ROOM - LATER A huge room filled with WOLFPUPS ranging from age 2 to 14. They are ransacking the place. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 24.

A BOUNCY HOUSE gets torn to shreds and deflates. Wayne is blindfolding one birthday pup with a bat about to hit a PINATA but dozens of pups tear it to shreds. Wayne and Wanda bring the cake in for the 4 birthday pups. WAYNE AND ADULTS Come on, big finish! Happy Birthday dear Paulie, Paulina, Pete and Pin- ky...Happy Birthday to you! The pups rip the cake apart in an instant. WANDA Ohhh, wasn’t that so sweet? WAYNE Yeh. There’s a reason they call it a litter. Mavis enters with Dennis to Dracula’s delight! DRACULA Denisovich! My big boy! You made it! Just in time for musical chairs! The pups are destroying a circle of chairs as gentle MUSIC plays. Some smash chairs over each others’ heads. MAVIS I don’t know if this a good idea, they’re all so wild. DRACULA He can handle them! Go boy! Dennis runs into the Tasmanian Devil-style fray of wild pups. DENNIS Happy Birthday, Paulie, Paulina, Pete and Pinky! Dennis pops out flying and lands on his ass. He’s giggling but slow to get up. MAVIS Dennis! Are you o -- Suddenly, WINNIE, now 6 years old herself, jumps on Dennis and hugs him, knocking him down again. WINNIE Dennis! I love you! Zing! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 25.

DENNIS Hi, Winnie! WINNIE Zing Zing! I’m gonna marry Dennis! She pulls Dennis’ curly hair and flips him judo style. WANDA Winnie? Give him his space, hon! I’m sorry, Mavis. MAVIS It’s okay, Aunt Wanda, we were just stopping by quickly anyway. WANDA Hey, Dennis, we’re out of cake but how about some Malted Eyeballs? Before the others see it. DRACULA I’ll take care of the others. Guys! DENNIS It’s okay, I don’t like chocolate. Drac gets in hypnosis mode, addressing the wild boy wolfpups. DRACULA There’s a mouse on the end of your tail! Suddenly, all the wild wolfpups start running in circles, chasing their tails endlessly. DRACULA (CONT’D) See? Now have your eyeballs. Dracula grabs a bowl for Dennis, who takes it halfheartedly. Mavis starts dousing herself all over with Corpsertone sunblock SPF 10,000. Dennis is very confused from all sides. DRACULA (CONT’D) Where are you going? MAVIS We’re going to class! Daddy, please trust me? Stop trying to push him into liking everything you want! You can’t make somebody something they’re not! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 26.

She takes Dennis and exits, covered completely with white sunblock. Winnie cries and Dracula follows. WINNIE Zing Zing!! DRACULA Mavy, wait! SUIT OF ARMOR Sir, Mr. Quinston is here to visit. WANDA Hey, Drac! Can you just undo... Behind her, the Wolfpups are all still chasing their tails. WAYNE (cutting her off) Hey! They’re happy. EXT. OUTDOOR HOTEL RESTAURANT - LATER Drac and Johnny are seated at a table with CARTER QUINSTON, a cheerful, manic nerdy rich guy (a goofier Mark Cuban). Two vapid AIDES stand behind him. DRACULA So you like my hotel, Mr. Quinston? QUINSTON Oh yeah - dude! Monsters are like blowing up right now! JOHNNY Aren’t they awesome? QUINSTON (bumping Johnny’s fist) Oh, dude. I’ve dug ‘em since I was a kid. Dracula, the Wolfman, Darth Vader... JOHNNY Oh. He’s not a monster. QUINSTON Right, right, he’s just a monstery bad guy. But, y’know, Frankenstein ...Frankenberry, all of ‘em rock. DRACULA Franken-whoey? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 27.

QUINSTON I’m telling you bro, with a few changes, we could get this place rockin’ again! And franchise this * sucker! Put ‘em up world-wide, baby! DRACULA Changes? QUINSTON Oh, dude, just little stuff. Harper? Levon? His aides Harper and Levon suddenly project a power point presentation against a wall. Shot of Monsters vacationing on a human cruise ship, at a human beach resort. Quinston narrates... QUINSTON (CONT’D) With Monsters having other vacation options now, it’s crucial for you to fully engage the human market. We see the same shell of the hotel but with tall, dark floor- * to-ceiling windows that make it look more sleek and hip. * QUINSTON (CONT’D) The T will be the ultimate tribute to Monsters while bringing them into the 21st century. DRACULA The T? Shots of sleek “W”-like interior with happy human guests. * QUINSTON Every amenity humans expect served by the hippest and hottest staff. DRACULA Wait, wait, I have a full staff of monsters. QUINSTON Dude, monsters will be everywhere! Especially vampires and zombies - what people’re digging now. Shots of VAMPIRE AND ZOMBIE HOTEL STAFF - all beautiful, sexy and hunky “True Blood” and “Walking Dead”-types. DRACULA Wait, that’s a Zombie? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 28.

QUINSTON It’s all about updating the Monster brand. DRACULA No, no, Monsters are not a brand, this is our history. QUINSTON Oh, don’t get me wrong, Drac, I wanna have a Monsters Hall of Fame to pay tribute to the old school. Shot of marginalized “Hall of Fame”, where it appears the real monsters are confined in a hip but zoo-like display. QUINSTON (CONT’D) But just, you know, a little more kid-friendly, like instead of the bloodsucking, we talk more about how you love chocolate cereal. JOHNNY Uh...that’s a different dude. QUINSTON Right...well, the counting thing, “1, 2, 3 count”..we can nail that stuff. DRACULA I have a counting thing? QUINSTON (to WAITER) I’ll just have the fruit pie. DRACULA Alright, I’m sorry, I just don’t see me running a place like this. QUINSTON Oh, no, no, no worries, dude, you wouldn’t have to. I’m gonna buy it. Dracula is stunned at the thought. DRACULA This hotel is my life. I could never walk away from it. QUINSTON Oh, no, dude, you’ll still be a huge part of this! (MORE) HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 29. QUINSTON (CONT'D) Not running the place but I'd want you greeting everyone by the Blood Bar. You’d be the prototype for all the Draculas we put out there when we chain it. You know, we'd just limit your dialogue. DRACULA Dialogue? QUINSTON Yeah, you know, keep it simple, “I'm Dracula, bleh, bleh bleh”... DRACULA Bleh, bleh bleh? QUINSTON Oh, yeah, people love when you do that. They expect it. We'd market Dracula's Bleh-berry Ice Cream, Bleh-berry muffins -- Dracula’s eyes are red and enraged. They LIFT Quinston out of his chair telepathically... QUINSTON (CONT’D) Bleh cheese dressing -- Whuh? ...and pull his trendy SHOE off his right foot, which kicks him the face twice. QUINSTON (CONT’D) Owww! Quinston takes a swing at his shoe, which ducks out of the way and kicks Quinston in the ass three times... DRACULA 1, 2, 3 -- I’m counting! And - 4! The fourth kick sends him flying into the arms of a YETI in bouncer attire. DRACULA (CONT’D) Remove him. The Yeti calmly carries him out of the hotel and tosses him, creating a SNOWBANK for him to land in. DRACULA (CONT’D) This hotel is not for sale!! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 30.

Quinston pops out of the snowbank and his Aides carry him to his waiting LIMO. He’s furious. QUINSTON No one ever says no to a Quinston! His SHOE kicks him in the ass again, landing him in his limo, which immediately takes off. QUINSTON (CONT’D) You’ll never survive without a Blood Bar!! JOHNNY I think you kind of overreacted. DRACULA (calm, shrugs) It’s just that I don’t say bleh, bleh bleh.

INT. DRACULA’S BEDROOM - DAY Dracula is fast asleep in his impressive coffin. As the SKULL ALARM CLOCK hits 1 pm, it SHRIEKS piercingly. Drac snores right through it as it continues. Finally, the SHRUNKEN HEAD at Dracula’s door turns and yells at him. SHRUNKEN HEAD 2 Yo, Count Snore-ula! Wake your dead butt up! DRACULA Whah? Oh no! Okay! I’m up! I’m up! He swoops out of the room.

INT. DENNIS' BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Dracula enters in his pajamas as Johnny and Mavis are putting Dennis to bed. Dracula’s extremely groggy and has terrible bedhead. DENNIS And he could be climbing the cake! JOHNNY I like that, little man! Like he’s climbing a building! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 31.

DRACULA Good morning, my Denisovichy-wichy! I got up and look, I made you breakfast... MAVIS Oh, thanks, Papa Drac! But remember, it’s the end of his day, not breakfast time. DRACULA Ohhhhh.... MAVIS Dad, you look beat. Do you want a Deathspresso? Johnny goes to the Deathspresso machine to make one. DRACULA Well, he can still have breakfast for dinner...a big bowl of Lucky Maggots! Dracula presents a bowl of fruity colored disgusting MAGGOTS swimming around in milk. MAVIS Dennis really loves his Mueslix. DRACULA Who-slix? JOHNNY (showing him a box) Mueslix. DRACULA Looks more like poo-slix! Hee hee...you see, it rhymes. MAVIS So we were just talking about Dennis’ birthday party next month! DRACULA Oh! So much fun! MAVIS Dennis wants a special hero on his cake, right? Who wears a cape and climbs walls?! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 32.

DRACULA (smiling) Oh, really?! And who is this hero? DENNIS Batman! DRACULA (surprised) Bat...man? What’s his deal? DENNIS Batman’s a superhero cebause he has all these cool weapons and the, and the batmobile and cebause he climbs walls and he fights bad guys... DRACULA Okay...superhero...but why not have a real hero like...okay, forget me for a moment, how about the mummy? The mummy can crash through walls, and turn into a swarm of beetles, and put a curse on anyone! DENNIS That sounds mean! DRACULA It's fun mean! MAVIS It's really not a positive role model, Dad. JOHNNY Yeah, costumes can reinforce good behavior too. And it doesn't have to be superheroes. See, you could also dress as a teacher, or a volunteer at an animal shelter. DRACULA Okay, please stop. If I wasn't dead, I would kill myself right now. What’s the matter, he’s not allowed to like monsters?! DENNIS I love monsters! Video! JOHNNY Oh! You want to show Papa Drac your monster video? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 33.

DRACULA Yes, yes! Let’s see! Johnny puts a DVD into their TV. CAKEY THE CAKE MONSTER, who is Muppety and sickeningly Elmo-sweet, grabs a huge CAKE. CAKEY Wheeee! Cakey love Cake! Yummy! Tummy get a tummy ache! Dennis laughs. DRACULA Whoa, whoa, whoa. How is that a monster? CAKEY Have some cake, Wuzzlelumplebum! WUZZLELUMPLEBUM, another cute animal-like monster, is given some cake and makes a funny noise to say it’s delicious. CAKEY (CONT’D) Remember, kids, a real monster always shares! DRACULA Shares...yes! When I think monsters - I think shares! What kind of stupid crap are you showing this kid? Why don’t you just drive a * stake through my heart? * Dennis is shocked. He runs off crying. MAVIS Dennis! DRACULA It’s fine, he has to cry sometimes to learn not to cry. MAVIS I don’t know, Dad, I don’t think we’re on the same page sometimes. Mavis settles herself... MAVIS (CONT’D) This is why...Johnny and I are thinking of moving. Dracula is stunned. Johnny tries to look supportive but sneaks a “what can I do” shrug as Mavis sadly continues. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 34.

MAVIS (CONT’D) To where Johnny's family lives. I’m sorry, Dad. He's starting 1st grade. I just think maybe he needs a more normal life. DRACULA You mean less monsters? MAVIS I mean....more kids like him. DRACULA Like him? You don’t even know...he could be a late fanger! MAVIS Dad. He’s not a late fanger. Johnny looks at Dracula with sympathy. JOHNNY The move’s not definite, at all. It’s just something we’re definitely talking about but until we do it...it’s not definitized. Dracula gives him a look as he departs. Johnny notices. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Did he just cover me with birdseed? WIDEN - Johnny is covered in birdseed. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Yeah. He covered me. A hundred RAVENS hurriedly descend on him eating the seed. INT. DRACULA’S BEDROOM - MOMENTS LATER Dracula skulks back in, and walks over to MARTHA’s picture. There’s also a picture of Mavis with Dennis. DRACULA Am I really going to lose them, Martha? I don’t think I could bear it if they left me. I’d feel so alone. I know she’s a good mommy but I’ve been at this for 2000 years, maybe I know a little more than her. I’m telling you, that boy, it’s in there! If I could just get some real Grampa time...show him the ropes. (MORE) HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 35. DRACULA (CONT'D) I know I could get those fangs out of him...Grampa time... Drac gets an idea. DRACULA (CONT’D) ..for us...couple time...for them..! He knows it's dishonest, so he turns around Martha's pic. DRACULA (CONT’D) Forgive me honey...you don’t need to hear this. Okay...call the guys... He pulls out his smartphone and struggles again to dial it. DRACULA (CONT’D) D-aaaahhhh! SHRUNKEN HEAD Cut them nails, kitty cat! DRACULA Shaddup!

EXT. BRUNCH BUFFET - NIGHT A lavish midnight brunch by a manicured field with bushes * shaped like evil faces and severed limbs. On the field, there * is a supervised THREE LEGGED RACE. A HUMAN COUPLE is being slightly outpaced by a MONSTER COUPLE but they are both passed by a sprinting THREE LEGGED MONSTER. Dracula is presiding over a TABLE with Johnny, Mavis, Dennis, Frank, Eunice, Murray, Griffin, Wayne, and Wanda. FRANKENSTEIN Nice to see the humans working out. DRACULA Oh, that’s all Johnny. I don’t know what I do. Without. Him. MURRAY Thanks for inviting us, what’s the occasion? DRACULA Oh, no occasion, I just could tell Mavis missed you. Especially Eunice. EUNICE Awwww...that’s sweet. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 36.

WANDA Mavis, honey, doesn’t Dennis wants to sit at the kid’s table? CUT TO the WOLFPUPS eating furiously from an ENORMOUS BOWL of gross dead stuff. Mavis guards Dennis from the havoc. MAVIS Oh, no, Dennis can’t eat from their bowl. It’s not - I’m sure they don’t have rabies. Dennis has allergies. DRACULA You know, it’s stressful being a mommy, isn’t it Mavy? Winnie jumps over from the bowl. WINNIE You like my dress, Dennis? DENNIS Uh huh. WINNIE I wore it for you! Zing Zing! Winnie tackles Dennis, licking him like a dog as Mavis freaks. Dennis giggles, it tickles. MAVIS Down, Winnie, down! WANDA Awww, honey, you really are tense. You should get one of these stress toys, they really help regulate you. Wanda produces a STRESS TOY - a living, screaming SCRAGGLY MONSTER whose eyes pop out for real when Wanda squeezes him. JOHNNY Whoa! That’s not rubber..? STRESS TOY I’m cool with it. DRACULA You know, Wanda, now that you mentioned stress... MAVIS Actually, Dad, you mentioned it. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 37.

DRACULA ...I’m thinking, what if these two went on a little vacation, for themselves? Get a little alone time. EUNICE Yes! That is exactly what you need. You’re too wrapped up in the kid, honey, and it’s a little scary. Even Johnny knows it. JOHNNY What? I didn’t say anything. EUNICE Look at him, he’s terrified. Honey, you need it. Don’t feel guilty. WANDA Wayne and I always make sure we get alone time from the kids. MAVIS Really? WANDA Every day at 6 before bedtime. We lock ourselves in the closet for 30 seconds. WAYNE Doesn’t matter how hard they kick the door, that time is for us. FRANKENSTEIN Yeah. Vacations help us remember what brought us together. In our case, the ravings of a demented madman. JOHNNY You know, we haven’t gone away since before we got married. MAVIS I know. It would be nice. But what about Dennis? DRACULA Oh, right! Darn, I guess you can’t do it. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 38.

JOHNNY Mavy, your dad could take care of Dennis! DRACULA Who, me? That’s not my ulterior motive at all! JOHNNY You just need a little prep, to see his classes, know what vitamins he gets. Come on, Mavis...it’s a good idea...let’s get that zing back. I miss us. Johnny does the pouty face. MAVIS How can I resist that? DRACULA Hooooray! Yes!!! You’re going!! I mean...whatever. MONTAGE of Johnny and Mavis prepping Dracula by hustling him through Dennis’ over-scheduled life in the human world. MUSIC: UPBEAT FOLK GUITAR - Mavis is showing Dracula all the Vitamins and Medicines for Dennis. They’ll all been foolproofed by being marked and dated “MONDAY MORNING” “MONDAY NIGHT” etc in countless covered plastic cups. - Daytime - Dracula is dutifully covered in sunblock as Johnny takes him into the nearest DOWNTOWN with Dennis. They walk into a place called KIDBOREE. - Johnny and Dracula sit within a circle of MOMMIES, all holding a giant PARACHUTE over the kids. Dracula obviously thinks it’s nuts but plays along, as Dennis laughs. - Dracula watches Dennis and other kids climbing a 5 foot high ROCK WALL with a rope. Johnny and other MOMS cheer their kids. Dracula smiles but looks at them like their nuts. - At a wildlife center, Dracula again straining to enjoy. The happy KIDS are passing cute RABBITS around. Dennis passes Dracula the rabbit and he puts it in his mouth, but Johnny quickly stops him and Dracula removes the wet animal. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 39.

- A music class with KIDS banging tiny instruments. Drac sees other MOMS reading their smartphones and finally tries it. He plays the Zombies vs Plants game. - At a Color Me Mine, Dracula is bored and having a harder time faking enthusiasm as Dennis shittily colors in a SUPERHERO MUG. Dracula adds fangs and a widow’s peak to the superhero and Dennis cries. Dracula hurriedly fixes it. - At a kids yoga class. A bunch of mommies stretching with their kids as Johnny does with Dennis. Dracula smiles but is beside himself, and telekinetically starts a fire in the room. As the sprinklers go off and everyone rushes out, he * feigns surprise. * EXT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT Mavis and Johnny waving goodbye and getting into hearse to the airport. MAVIS (hugging Drac) Thanks for trying so hard Dad. I’m just gonna miss him so much. I could barely say goodbye. DRACULA I’ll tell him Mavy Wavy stories everyday. MAVIS You’re the best. I love you. JOHNNY (hugging Dracula) I love you, Drac! DRACULA Yes, yes...with the love. JOHNNY Will you hug my backpack? DRACULA No. They get in the hearse and drive away. Frank, Eunice, Murray and Griffin are also there with their luggage. FRANKENSTEIN Way to go, big fella! Earning her trust like that! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 40.

MURRAY Drac’s the man. Alright, looks like the limo’s here. DRACULA Limo? FRANKENSTEIN Yeah, we really gotta get back, Eunice and I got a meeting with a reality show producer. GRIFFIN I’m going to Coachella. You know, just to be seen. MURRAY And I got a book signing in Akron. Murray holds up his fashion book “That’s a Wrap”. FRANKENSTEIN But, hey, man, thanks for the hospi - Dracula hypno-freezes them in mid-luggage moving. DRACULA You will not leave. We will meet in the -- wait, where’s Wayne?

EXT. HOTEL GOLF COURSE - SAME Wayne is working as caddy, giving a HUMAN GUEST advice. WAYNE Okay, don’t be a hero and go for the flag. The wind swirls near the pond so you’re gonna want to hit short of the bunker. Easy 5 iron here. The HUMAN GUEST nods and strikes the ball. Wayne immediately barks crazily and runs after ball. Dracula enters and chases after Wayne, who is now burying the ball. WAYNE (CONT’D) (calmly) Okay, that’s gonna be a penalty. Dracula grabs Wayne and takes him inside, as he barks wildly. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 41.

INT. SAUNA - LATER Dracula, Frankenstein, Griffin, Wayne, Murray and the Blob are all together shvitzing. Dracula is pacing. DRACULA I need you guys for the week. To help my grandson! GRIFFIN I thought you were all prepped on taking care of Dennis. DRACULA Yeah. Listen, you wouldn’t believe the things they make that kid do. Climbing a 5 foot wall. Holding a bunny without eating it. MURRAY That ain’t how I was brought up! DRACULA Exactly! This kid needs to be raised our way. We’ll take him to all our old haunts and show him how to be a (dropping his voice) monster. I can’t talk loud...don’t want humans to hear. A OLD NAKED MALE HUMAN crosses past them. MURRAY Yike! That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen! BLOB (jibberish) SUBTITLE: If my butt ever gets that jiggly, shoot me. DRACULA I know. It’s a freak show around here. Okay, so listen up. Tonight at sunset... RISING MIST DISSOLVE TO: DENNIS’ BEDROOM - SUNSET Dracula gently shakes Dennis awake. DRACULA (CONT’D) Rise and shine, Denisovich! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 42.

DENNIS Whuh? What time is it? DRACULA Time for Mueslix! Dennis perks up at the sight of a bowl of Mueslix. DENNIS Yay! DRACULA (under his breath) Heh, yes. Whatever it takes.

INT. HALLWAY - LATER Dracula is hustling a tired Dennis out of Mavis’ suite. Dracula has dressed him all in black. DRACULA We’re going to have so much fun! SHRUNKEN HEAD What you up to? DRACULA Nothing. SHRUNKEN HEAD Mmm hmm, and I’m a hand model. INT. LOBBY - LATER Dracula is carrying Dennis, who has fallen back asleep, on his shoulder, trying to make a quick inconspicuous exit with Frankenstein, Wayne, Murray, Griffin and the Blob, all carrying lots of luggage. FRANKENSTEIN Is it shorts weather where we’re going? MURRAY Hope not, cuz then I woulda packed my ankle socks. DRACULA Guys! Remember? Time to be monsters again! FRANKENSTEIN/MURRAY You got it! Monster time! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 43.

EUNICE Frank! Frankenstein is startled and freezes, causing his body parts to separate, hovering momentarily before falling to the ground. EUNICE (CONT’D) Where you all going? Frankenstein sheepishly gathers and assembles himself. FRANKENSTEIN Oh! Honey. I’m, uh, taking a little trip with Drac. EUNICE Drac’s taking a trip? Mister Micromanager’s leaving the hotel? DRACULA I have to. Denisovich is sick, we’re taking him to a specialist, in...China. We all need to take turns driving. EUNICE A specialist in China? DRACULA He has..ehh...terrible fever. It’s 98.6 degrees! EUNICE Oh, no! He’s burning up! WAYNE Yeah, look at him sweat! Wayne pants and sneaks five quick licks on sleeping Dennis’ face, leaving him covered in drool. EUNICE He looks awful! How can I help? DRACULA Uh, while I’m gone, you’re in charge, Eunice! EUNICE Of the whole hotel? HUMAN FLY Excuse me? I thought I was in charge. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 44.

DRACULA Oh, well, you’re in charge of the workers and the activities. Eunice, you focus on...the spa. And, uh, the gift shop. EUNICE I like that. HUMAN FLY I’m a little confused... DRACULA You’ll work it out! Okay, we got to get him there, let’s go! Wait, where’s Griffin? Griffin is in a corner holding up two glasses of champagne. GRIFFIN I’m just saying goodbye to Emily. WAYNE Oh, brother. GRIFFIN (girl voice) I’m gonna miss you, so much! (his voice) You have to be strong, honey. Because what we have is unbreakable. He starts making ridiculous kissing sounds. MURRAY (aside) Okay, I gotta call him on this... DRACULA Just let him play it out. (to Griffin) Okay, you two lovebirds! Drink your champagne and let’s get going. GRIFFIN Oh....okay... He awkwardly pours champagne into his mouth while the other glass spills to the floor. FRANKENSTEIN We can’t say nothing about this? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 45.

DRACULA No! GRIFFIN (girl voice) Griffin...Don’t...go!!! The high pitch arouses the Wolfpups who come from every different direction and attack Griffin. Frank and Murray can’t stop laughing. WAYNE That noise - they’re never gonna stop going nuts now. DRACULA (hypnosis mode) There’s a mouse on the end of your tail...again! Suddenly, all the wild wolfpups start running in circles again, chasing their tails endlessly. FRANKENSTEIN You’re gonna leave ‘em like this? WAYNE Believe me, no one’s gonna mind.

EXT. HOTEL LOBBY - MOMENTS LATER Drac and the monsters and Dennis pack into the HEARSE, but the Blob can't fit. BLOB Glurrbleebloo. MURRAY Yeah, that ain’t happening. DRACULA Fine, put him in the Rascal. Let’s get going. A zombie bellman hooks a RASCAL SCOOTER to the side of the hearse and the Blob slides on. The hearse TAKES OFF quickly and the Blob nearly slips off but rides alongside. Inside the hearse, Dennis momentarily wakes up from the fuss. DENNIS Huh? Where are we, Papa Drac? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 46.

DRACULA Oh, Denisovich, we’re going to have an adventure! A monstery adventure! DENNIS Yay! Monsters! We’re gonna eat cake?! WAYNE What’d he say? DRACULA No, no cake on this monster trip! DENNIS No cake cebause too much cake makes tummy ache! Yay! A monster always shares! GRIFFIN Wow. FRANKENSTEIN Maybe he does have a fever. DRACULA Eh, you see, Denisovich, monsters are nice just like you...but when the moon comes out, the real monster fun begins - being scary! Right, guys? On radio, a CURRENT GIRLY POP HIT is playing and the monsters all sing along to it. DRACULA (CONT’D) Guys! Guys! Dracula shuts off the radio. DRACULA (CONT’D) What is wrong with you? FRANKENSTEIN Come on, everybody likes that song. DRACULA We’re not everybody! We’re scary monsters, remember? Dracula puts a CD into the car’s player. GRIFFIN What are you putting in? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 47.

DRACULA It’s an audio book. Bigfoot’s autobiography. He reads it himself. BIGFOOT (V.O.) Grrrrrhhhhh...Rrrrhhnnnnngggghhh... FRANKENSTEIN Aw, come on. DRACULA It’s educational! Did you know he was born in Pittsburgh? They continue to listen to the growling as Dennis falls asleep again. REVEAL the Blob is still happily listening to the pop song on his headphones in the adjoining Rascal.

EXT. AIRPORT - NIGHT MEANWHILE, Johnny and Mavis are exiting the airport in FRANCE. Johnny pulls Mavis’ luggage while carrying his own stuff in his backpack. JOHNNY Wow. I can’t believe we’re all here together. MAVIS All..? JOHNNY Yeah, me and you and my backpack. I’ve always wanted to show you France just the way I saw it, before I met you. MAVIS That sounds amazing. Can I just quickly call home from the cab? JOHNNY Whoa...it’s only 10 pm there. Dennis isn’t even up yet. MAVIS Right. I’m sorry, Johnny. I’m just not used to being away from him. JOHNNY Everything’s gonna be cool. Your dad was so all over it! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 48.

MAVIS I know. He’s the best. JOHNNY All you gotta do is chillax and let go. The Love Man’s planned everything. MAVIS Who’s the Love Man? JOHNNY Uh, me. EXT. BURGUNDY COUNTRYSIDE - NIGHT Beautiful sweeping shot of lush rolling hills of Burgundy. French couples are being served wine and sitting romantically on the grass. CUT TO Johnny and Mavis rock climbing with backpacks. Johnny is way into it. Mavis goes along with it, calmly walking up the mountain. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Is this not the awesomest? Man, it hasn’t changed at all in 7 years! Hmm. I guess rocks don’t change much. MAVIS It’s...really...good exercise! Hey, maybe after this we could go down there where everyone else is, and have a romantic French picnic? JOHNNY Oh, don’t worry, we’re about to turn the romance up full blast. It’s Paris time! EXT. EIFFEL TOWER - LATER A beautiful shot of the Eiffel Tower at night. ROMANTIC MUSIC. JOHNNY (V.O.) Pretty awesome, huh? REVEAL Johnny and Mavis are climbing the side of the Eiffel Tower, Johnny with his backpack and rock climbing gear, Mavis trying to be a good sport. Johnny swigs a bottle of FRENCH SODA and stuffs it in his backpack. JOHNNY How sweet is this? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 49.

MAVIS So people climb the Eiffel Tower? JOHNNY Nah. I mean, the last time I did, this dude was yelling at me all in French, and I was like, what? But the French jail is awesome. MAVIS Hey, Johnny, you think Dennis is up yet? JOHNNY Mave, you’re starting to sound like your dad was with you! C’mon, I’m showing you the world! Remember the world? The one you dreamed about? Where’s that Mavy? Mavis looks guilty. JOHNNY (CONT’D) I know she’s in there. Do it for her...Whoa -- my French soda! Suddenly the bottle slips out of his backpack and falls 800 feet, faintly crashing down below. We hear an “Auughh!”, and then French screaming. JOHNNY (CONT’D) There’s those words again. Mavis looks at her phone anxiously but holds back as Johnny yells in broken French. JOHNNY (O.C.) (CONT’D) Je sorry, dude! Moi bad! EXT. RURAL ROAD - NIGHT Dracula directs Griffin to turn into a dirt road. Dennis is napping. DRACULA Right turn here. Denisovich, rise and shine! Boys, this bringing back any memories? Boys?? Frankenstein pulls off his HEADPHONES. He, Murray and Wayne were all watching and enjoying “The Big Bang Theory”. FRANKENSTEIN Sorry, what? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 50.

DRACULA Don’t you recognize where we’re headed? Wayne? We used to prowl around here when we were in our 100’s! It’s the Dark Forest of Slobozia! Where no one dares -- Griffin stops suddenly as the dirt road gives way to a neatly manicured park. Some late night DOG WALKER humans are powerwalking in yoga pants under the bright street lamps. Dennis giggles. Dracula reads a sign: DRACULA (CONT’D) “Dark Forest Municipal Park and Bike Trail” - are you kidding me? FRANKENSTEIN Nice how they built it up. DRACULA Wait a minute...left turn! This’ll be good, Frank...the old windmill! Our hangout! I sucked my first blood here. Should be right... The car slows down. The iconic windmill is now a sleek modern WIND TURBINE. MURRAY Cool! Sustainable energy! WAYNE More cost efficient and safer for Mother Earth! DRACULA Getting an ulcer. Dracula swigs from a bottle of “Crypt-o-Bismol - 100% acid”

INT. FOREST - MOMENTS LATER The car pulls into a deep woodsy area. DRACULA This is good! Stop here! They’ve all climbed out of the hearse into the woodsiest area left around there. DRACULA (CONT’D) Okay, Denisovich. You’re in for a treat. (MORE) HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 51. DRACULA (CONT’D) You’re going to see every monster do his specialty. Wayne, you start. Go kill something. WAYNE What?? DRACULA What do you mean, what? If we don’t inspire him how’s he going to find his inner monster? DENNIS Papa, who’s in a monster? DRACULA Whuh? No, no, your inner monster. GRIFFIN Oh boy. DENNIS I’m in her monster? DRACULA No. No one’s in anyone’s monster. Here, have an avocado. DENNIS Yay! DRACULA (smiling but disgusted) It’s from “Mother Earth”! Dracula digs into Dennis’ tote bag of food and supplies and hands him an avocado, which Dennis peels correctly and eats. WAYNE First of all, you need to dial it down. Second of all, I’m not killing any people. I’m not gonna set monsters back again just to make your kid like vampires. And thirdly, there’s nothing to kill here! It’s all been -- COYOTE (O.C.) Ow-ooo! A COYOTE is visible in the distance. Dracula glares at Wayne. COYOTE (CONT’D) Ow-ooo! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 52.

WAYNE (sigh) Great. You know, I haven’t done this in years. We don’t need to kill coyotes anymore. We have Pop Tarts. DRACULA Denisovich, you’re going to love this. Wayne’s going to eat that whole coyote. Go! FRANKENSTEIN Can I say something? Do I have a rash here and here? He raises one hand and lifts his pants on his right shin. Both areas have deep red rashes. DRACULA No, you look fine. MURRAY (looking at the rashes) Whoa! DRACULA As in, whoa, do you look fine. FRANKENSTEIN For real? Seriously...Cuz this arm’s allergic to pollen. DRACULA Wayne, go! Wayne approaches the COYOTE and sees two more, also howling. WAYNE Oh, man...I’m too old for this. Okay..how’s it go again, ow-ooo? No, that’s for the moon. I growl. That’s it -- growl, growl, pounce. Okay, here goes. GROWL!!! The Coyotes growl back fiercely and Wayne bolts. WAYNE (CONT’D) Forget it! The Coyotes head toward Wayne. WAYNE (CONT’D) Oh, you gotta be kidding me. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 53.

Wayne runs back to the hearse. Dennis laughs really hard. DRACULA Hey! Where you going? WAYNE The other way! Everyone dives into the hearse with him as the coyotes run closer. The Blob dives into his scooter. FRANKENSTEIN (screeching) Hit it! Go! They’re gonna get us! Griffin drives away as the coyotes try to chase the hearse. DRACULA (mocking) “Hit it! Go! They’re gonna get us!” And you - some werewolf. Did you say the word “growl”? WAYNE I said I was rusty! DRACULA You’re a werewussy. Dennis laughs hard again. So do Griffin and Murray. Suddenly a coyote jumps on the hood of the hearse. Everyone screams and Griffin swerves the hearse. It causes the Blob’s Rascal scooter to separate and it flies off the road and falls over a cliff. Everyone is quiet for a moment. DRACULA (CONT’D) He’ll be okay. He’s blobby. Okay turn here! Griffin makes a sudden right turn. EXT. PARIS STREET - NIGHT Johnny and Mavis carrying luggage on a beautiful street. MAVIS I can’t believe how much I love this place! It’s so alive here! JOHNNY We’re totally here! Johnny turns into a run-down building with a small sign. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 54.

MAVIS This is our hotel? JOHNNY Better. It’s the same youth hostel I stayed in when I was eighteen. INT. YOUTH HOSTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS They navigate past some stoner-looking KIDS lying around. JOHNNY (CONT’D) What’s up? (to Mavis) I’ve always dreamed of taking you here. And it gets better.

INT. HOSTEL ROOM - MOMENTS LATER A tiny room with a bunkbed. Mavis enters shocked, Johnny is giddy. We hear loud French conversation through the wall. JOHNNY Can you believe it? The same room I had on my last trip. With the same sheets! And we get the top. MAVIS We’re sharing a bunkbed? Suddenly, a DUDE turns over on the lower bunk and wakes up. DUDE What’s up? JOHNNY What’s up?! DUDE Just sleepin’. JOHNNY Lovin’ it. Johnny hops on to the top bed. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Mave, should we order some pizza? Mavis disappears. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Mave?...Mave, where’d you go? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 55.

MAVIS (O.C.) Mavis is gone. JOHNNY Whhhaah? Then who was that? Mavis emerges from the bathroom in a stunning black dress. MAVIS The old Mavis. She sweeps Johnny up and flies through the room, finally squeezing them out of the tiny window. DUDE France. Is. The. Bomb. INT. FRENCH DISCO - LATER Mavis and Johnny are goofily dancing among French hipsters. Johnny points at something to Mavis. It’s BIGFOOT (lower half) accompanied by a HOT ITALIAN MODEL. Mavis and Johnny laugh.

EXT. CEMETERY - MOMENTS LATER Everyone is out of the hearse again. DRACULA Now we got something! They can’t mess with the old cemetery! You like the cemetery, Dennis? DENNIS This is where all the bad guys go! After Batman gets them! DRACULA Oooh, yes, yes! But wait till you see what a mummy can do! MURRAY ...What can I do? DRACULA Murray’s going to conjure up some dead people and make them alive again! MURRAY Oh, no. There’s people biking. DRACULA Do it. Say your little spell. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 56.

MURRAY I only use that spell to get hot looking dead chicks! I don’t even know who’s in this place! DRACULA Don’t disappoint Denisovich. Murray signs and chants with dramatic Egyptian pantomiming. Suddenly a PAIR OF GHOSTS rise from the cemetery. They are the LOWENTHALS (Mel Brooks, and Martin Short as his wife), an elderly Jewish couple with thick accents. MR. LOWENTHAL I beg your pardon? MURRAY Excuse me? MR. LOWENTHAL You want something? What’d you wake me for? MURRAY Hi, I’m sorry to bother you. Dracula here wanted me to do it. MRS. LOWENTHAL Oh, so, Dracula? You do whatever Dracula says? MR. LOWENTHAL You see the sign? Rest in peace? Do I look like I’m resting now? You sensing any peace? DRACULA Look, Denisovich! Look at these scary ghosts Murray set upon the world!! DENNIS They’re nice. MR. LOWENTHAL Did you wake the kid up, too? MURRAY (to ghosts) I’m really sorry. We’ll leave. MR. LOWENTHAL No, it’s alright. I’m up now. So how’s things? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 57.

MURRAY Um...you know. Good. We’re just passing through. DENNIS I’m a superhero!! MR. LOWENTHAL Enjoy it. Someday you’ll be dead. Who’s this? FRANKENSTEIN Hi, I’m Frankenstein. MRS. LOWENTHAL Frankensteins. Don’t we know a Frankenstein? What temple? DRACULA Alright! Enough! Just go back to sleep! MR. LOWENTHAL * Now? Once I’m up, forget it! * Suddenly, a Coyote catches up and growls at everyone! Dennis laughs really hard as everyone recoils. Murray turns last and sees it in horror. MURRAY Coyote!! Aaauggh! Murray instinctively creates a huge, spectacular SANDSTORM, which quickly buries the coyote, but also all of the tombstones, under ten feet of sand. MR. LOWENTHAL Oh, boy. Now you’re gonna get it. What a mess. MRS. LOWENTHAL Who’s gonna vacuum this?! DRACULA Okay, let’s get out of here. Suddenly other similar OLD GHOSTS rise in anger. GHOSTS What’s all the noise? Where’s my tombstone? I want a sandwich! Etc. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 58.

The Monsters hurriedly rustle through the woods to head for the hearse. INT. HEARSE - MOMENTS LATER Griffin is driving fast. Some Old Ghosts chasing them knock on the windows, but get tired and retreat. GRIFFIN Oh thank goodness they were spooking the pants off me! FRANKENSTEIN This rash is worse. I need some Benadryl! DRACULA Can’t believe you guys. What babies you’ve all turned into. FRANKENSTEIN Rashes can lead to infections! Frank rifles through Dennis’ bag of supplies. FRANKENSTEIN (CONT’D) Neosporin...Aveeno...ooh! Cherries! Frank gives a look to Dennis, who smiles and nods. Frank happily grabs some cherries and devours them.

INT. FRENCH BISTRO - LATER Johnny and Mavis are laughing over a late dinner as a WAITER serves them a steaming plate of CREPES. WAITER Careful, the plate is very hot -- Mavis takes the plate and the steam immediately disappears as the plate appears frozen. MAVIS Is that better? JOHNNY Isn’t she great? Is that not the coolest thing you’ve ever seen? WAITER Ahh...oui. Waiter exits and Johnny notices something. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 59.

JOHNNY Whoa! Are you kidding me? They look over. Bigfoot is sitting a table with the Model. MAVIS I can not believe he’s here! I think he got a pedicure! Reveal Bigfoot’s toenails are neat and colored. They laugh. JOHNNY Don’t tell your dad Bigfoot’s here and not staying at the hotel! He’ll go batso! Mavis laughs and sneaks some scorpions out of her bag and places them on the crepes before she eats them. MAVIS Poor dad. He’s trying so hard. It’s killing me to think of moving away from him. JOHNNY I know. I bet he’s having the best time watching Dennis. It’s gonna make it even harder. Mavis is suddenly deep in thought, a little guilty. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Check it out. Johnny directs Mavis to Bigfoot’s table, where the WAITERS are slowly setting down two hundred dishes. Johnny laughs. MAVIS That’s so funny. I’m just gonna use the bathroom... Mavis heads toward the bathroom and takes out her phone. She sees it’s already after 2 in Transylvania.

INT. HEARSE - MOMENTS LATER They are a bit calmer now. Frankenstein is wolfing down a FRUIT BY THE FOOT and Dennis is asleep on his lap. GRIFFIN Okay, so where next? How about the old inn where I became invisible? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 60.

DRACULA Nah, that’s boring. With all due respect. Dracula’s phone rings. DRACULA (CONT’D) Oh no...oh no..it’s Mavis! WAYNE You gotta answer it. INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Mavis is staring at the phone impatiently. MAVIS Come on, pick up! INT. HEARSE - MOMENTS LATER Dracula is struggling with his fingernails again. MURRAY You’re pushing too hard. Lighter! DRACULA All right! Who’s got Denisovich? GRIFFIN I got him! He puts sunglasses on the sleeping boy and holds him up. INT. BATHROOM - CONTINUOUS Mavis sees a signal on her video chat and finally Dracula. MAVIS Dad! What took so long? INTERCUT with Dracula in the car. He holds the phone close so that Mavis can’t see he’s in a car. DRACULA What? Nothing, Mavy! We’re all great here. How are you? MAVIS Um, everything’s fine. Is Dennis okay? DRACULA Of course! You want to see him? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 61.

MAVIS Yes! Yes I do! Dracula shows Mavis Dennis. MAVIS (CONT’D) Hi Baby! How are you? Griffin moves Dennis' arms, Weekend at Bernie's style, making it appear he’s awake. Griffin also does Dennis’ voice. GRIFFIN Mommy! I happy! MAVIS I miss you! Why is he wearing sunglasses? DRACULA Oh, we were playing...it’s a superhero thing! GRIFFIN I’m a superhero!! MAVIS Oh, okay. Which one, honey! GRIFFIN Uh...Sunglasses Man! MAVIS Oh, ho...you’re so cute. GRIFFIN Cebause I’m Sunglasses Man to the * rescue! He makes Dennis look like he’s trying to fly. DRACULA (aside to Griffin) Okay, take it down a notch. MAVIS You sound funny. DRACULA That’s his Sunglasses Man voice He’s been doing it all night. (faking a bad signal) Chhhhh...the signal is bad... HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 62.

MAVIS Okay, Sunglasses Man, remember what every superhero eats to get strong! GRIFFIN Mueslix! MAVIS Yay! DRACULA Chhhh...chhhhhh...Mavis are you there? Static..static... MAVIS Yeah, I’m still... Dracula disappears from the screen. He has hung up, faking a disconnect. MAVIS (CONT’D) Alright, I guess he’s having fun. INT. HEARSE - MOMENTS LATER GRIFFIN Oh, yeah! Nailed it with the Sunglasses Man! Threw a cebause in * there - * DRACULA You gotta be kidding me. Now superheroes eat Mueslix? FRANKENSTEIN More like Poo-slix. DRACULA That’s my joke. She’s never going to let this kid have fun, like we used to! Wait a minute... He pulls out his cell phone again. DRACULA (CONT’D) Someone turn on the navigator on this thing. Murray manipulates the navigator. MURRAY Look how light I touch it... HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 63.

NAVIGATOR (creepy Peter Lorre voice) Please enter your destination! Pleeease! I’m begging you! WAYNE Drac, maybe we should head back. You’re not worried about the hotel? DRACULA I’m worried about my grandson. I’m sure the hotel’s fine. INT. HOTEL LOBBY - SAME Everything's going to crap while Dracula is gone. In the LOBBY, Zombie Bellmen are riding luggage carts, slamming into walls and dismembering, laughing. Two HUMAN GUESTS are left holding their luggage. The OLD GREMLIN LADY eats their tennis racquet. OLD GREMLIN LADY I didn’t do that. Wayne's pups are still chasing their tails as we last saw them. INT. HOTEL ROOM - CONTINUOUS A MONSTER GUEST is upset with his room service food and is on the PHONE. MONSTER GUEST I’m calling room service. There’s no fingers in this chili! MONSTER WIFE So call. INT. HOTEL LOBBY - CONTINUOUS The phone rings unanswered. REVEAL the Human Fly, a Zombie Clerk, and a GROTESQUE MONSTER all laughing, ignoring the phone. They are enjoying a photoboothy APP the Grotesque Monster is playing with on his SMARTPHONE. It distorts his own face. HUMAN FLY Oh, my goodness, Leonard! If you really looked that gross, I don’t think I could hang out with you!! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 64.

As they laugh, they are interrupted by Eunice, carrying tons of shopping bags with Wanda. EUNICE What is going on here? I’m in the lobby for 30 seconds and all I hear is guests complaining. HUMAN FLY You just worry about the spa and the gift shop, this is my domain. EUNICE Well, then, do it! I’m doing my share! I had 16 massages and bought every dress in the gift shop! As she yells, OLD GREMLIN LADY eats her shopping bags. OLD GREMLIN LADY I didn’t do that. EUNICE I need another massage! She storms out. As we follow Eunice and Wanda through the lobby the camera passes numerous signs with Quinston's face and circle slash “NOT PERMITTED IN HOTEL”. PAN to the ENTRANCE as Quinston enters the Hotel wearing a bad fake mustache. As he walks through the chaotic lobby, no one pays attention or cares. He tosses the mustache. INT. HEARSE - LATER Everyone is half asleep except Dracula and Dennis. DENNIS And the capital of Belgium is Brussels! DRACULA That is so impressive! (quiet aside) Watch out being so smart in front of Frankenstein, you’re going to give him a complex. Dennis laughs. GRIFFIN So we getting close? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 65.

The Navigator interrupts, in a creepy, hyperexcited and tense Peter Lorre-ish voice. NAVIGATOR (V.O.) Right turn! Now!! Here!! You imbecile!! DRACULA Oh yeah...this is gonna be good. NAVIGATOR (V.O.) You have arrived at your destination!! Yes! YES!! Small TENTS are set up in the WOODS they are driving though. DRACULA Here we are! It’s the Vampire Summer Camp I went to as a kid! WAYNE What’s it, Camp Vamp? DRACULA No! Who names their camp Camp Vamp? It's Camp Winnepacaca. EXT. CAMP GROUNDS - MOMENTS LATER Our monsters are walking through the camp area. LITTLE VAMPIRE KIDS are everywhere, running and playing. DRACULA (CONT’D) You see Denisovich, this is where I learned to catch mice, and shape shift, and use my incredible powers and strength! Pretty cool, huh? DENNIS Badminton! He excitedly points to a bunch of Vampire Kids playing BADMINTON. As Drac looks around, every activity appears harmless. Some kids are playing TETHERBALL, others are actually singing. DRACULA Yes. I don’t remember this badminting. Ah, come over this way! Dracula finds his old BUNK and walks inside. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 66.

DRACULA (CONT’D) Check it out. This is the bunk I slept in! And look -- He walks over to a tiny COFFIN. DRACULA (CONT’D) Denisovich! This is the coffin I would sleep in! DENNIS It’s small cebause you were small! DRACULA Yes!! FRANKENSTEIN How do you know it’s yours. They all look the same. DRACULA This is the one. You know what they say, a vampire never forgets. WAYNE I thought that was an elephant. Suddenly an older vampire COUNSELOR, Grigor, enters the bunk, surprising Dracula, who looks uncomfortable. GRIGOR Hey! Look who’s here, it’s Wackula! DRACULA Heh, no one calls me that anymore. Hey, uh.. GRIGOR Grigor! WAYNE Vampire’s memory... GRIGOR Whoa! Frankenstein? FRANKENSTEIN Uh, yeah, how you doing. GRIGOR I love you, man! And Murray the Mummy, my wife watches your show every week! (MORE) HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 67. GRIGOR (CONT'D) (to Griffin) And your video! Awesome. Dracula looks a little hurt. MURRAY We’re all with the big man! Can you believe it, he found his old bunk! GRIGOR Of course he did! How could he miss it? Grigor shows them huge pee stain on old bunk. GRIGOR (CONT’D) Seriously, that's a bigger landmark at camp than the flagpole. Dennis is laughing hysterically. DENNIS Papa Peepee! GRIGOR Yep, Papa Peepee. That’s a keeper. What’s your name? Grigor starts roughhousing Dracula, giving him a noogie. DENNIS Dennis! GRIGOR Dennis, you want to see Papa get a purple nurple? DENNIS Yay!! Suddenly the CAMP DIRECTOR, a younger, new age vampire with a gentle, voice, approaches. CAMP DIRECTOR Hey, Grigor...Griggers. We’re gonna back away now. Grigor lets go of Dracula. CAMP DIRECTOR (CONT’D) We don't do that anymore. Kids only get positive reinforcement here. How ya doin’ folks, I’m Dana, the director. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 68.

DRACULA How are you. CAMP DIRECTOR We’re sure excited to have all you legends visiting. What can we do you for? DRACULA I’m very interested in sending my grandboy Denisovich here. CAMP DIRECTOR (puzzled but polite) Oh! This little...red headed...non- fangy lil’ guy? DRACULA Oh, they’re in there. He’s a late fanger. This camp looks like fun, yes, Dennis? DENNIS Badminton! DRACULA Again with the bad minting...can you show us some of the drills, like where they catch the mice? CAMP DIRECTOR Can do. Course, now we call it tee- mousing. EXT. FIELD - MOMENTS LATER The Camp Director has brought them all to a tee-ball version of mice-eating. Mice are on a tee instead of being caught in the wild. The kids run up one at a time and grab the mouse. DRACULA So they don’t have to catch the mice? CAMP DIRECTOR Nope. We find this is a good way to build their confidence. Hokey Pokey. Wanna mouse, Dennis? DENNIS Yeah! CAMP DIRECTOR Any allegies, color restrictions? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 69.

DRACULA He can eat a mouse! A COUNSELOR brings out a big bowl of mice and the kids all reach into it and grab mice to eat. CAMP DIRECTOR Not too many! Remember, kids, a vampire always shares! Dracula is beside himself. EXT. FIELD - LATER Dana walks everyone over to another area. DANA The kids love their crossbow dodging. DRACULA Ahhh, so you still do that? They arrive to see vampire kids dodging Nerf crossbows. DENNIS I want a nerf crossbow! DRACULA What is Nerf!? Not wood?! Dracula gets hit by around 30 nerf crossbows that bounce off harmlessly. He glares at Dana. DANA (a little scared) It’s a kind of a soft...hey, let’s check out flying instruction!

EXT. FIELD - LATER Dracula sees a 200 feet tall rickety old diving tower. DRACULA Ah, there it is, Denisovich, where Papa learned to fly! Pan to reveal the tower is guarded off. DANA Ah, yeah...we’re over here now. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 70.

Vampire kids with instructors are lined up to jump off a four foot high tower. All are wearing helmets and padding. Some jump off and retain the padding even when they turn to bats. DANA (CONT’D) Had to scale it down. Insurance. Dracula is silent and furious. DANA (CONT’D) Ho-key Pokey. See ya at the campfire?

INT. RESTAURANT - LATER * The French Waiter is bringing tea. * JOHNNY * Hey, that Bigfoot can eat, huh? * That was a lot of grub he chowed. * WAITER * Ugh. Please don’t start me. * Johnny and Mavis laugh. The Waiter leans in, confiding. * WAITER (CONT’D) * These monsters who come here now, * they are disgusting. All of them. * Mavis’ face changes. Johnny sees it immediately. * WAITER (CONT’D) * I tell you what else, they eat three * times what us humans eat and they * are lousy tippers. Maybe they don’t * know math. But the Cyclops was in * here? He left me a gall bladder! * JOHNNY * We’ll just take the check. Thanks. * The Waiter departs. * JOHNNY (CONT’D) * You alright? What a doofus. * MAVIS * (shaking it off) * Yeah. I know. * JOHNNY * I got one more amazing place. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 71.

EXT. THE LOUVRE - SAME A beautiful shot of the Louvre at night. JOHNNY (V.O.) This is the Louvre. It’s the awesomest museum in the world. REVEAL Johnny and Mavis are climbing up the side, Johnny with his backpack. MAVIS But, isn’t the point of a museum to be inside, with all the paintings? JOHNNY That’s good, too, but it’s closed. I’m telling you, Mavis, I wouldn’t * steer you wrong. Follow me. * He climbs up to the roof and Mavis joins him. Mavis takes in the view of Paris on the River Seine. JOHNNY (CONT’D) I don’t know why more people don’t * come up here. * MAVIS Wow. It's so beautiful. JOHNNY So...that remind of you of anything? The view, the night, the moon...? MAVIS ...the rooftop. * JOHNNY Yeah. MAVIS That’s when I knew that zing was real. JOHNNY I didn’t know what a zing was. But I knew that I was in love. They look sweetly into each other’s eyes as Mavis sighs. MAVIS Okay, okay, okay -- we have to stay here till the sun rises. Just like the first time. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 72.

JOHNNY (sweetly) * Zing. * They sit on the roof and hold each other, looking at the stars. EXT. NIGHT SKY - SAME PAN DOWN to reveal a CAMPFIRE. All the little Vampire Kids are singing around it, led by Dana on guitar. * VAMPIRE KIDS VAMPIRES WILL BE FRIENDS FOREVER LIT-ER-AL-LY FOREVER CAMP DIRECTOR Great job, vampires, give yourselves a hug! As the kids hug themselves, reveal Murray and Frankenstein * sitting in the circle hugging themselves as when. Dracula * walks over and nudges them. * DRACULA * We’re going. * FRANKENSTEIN * What? Where? * EXT. TOWER - MOMENTS LATER * As we hear another campfire song in the distance, Dracula * climbs the tower holding Dennis as the others follow. * MURRAY * Why are we doing this? * DRACULA * You’d rather be listening to those * putrid new songs? What happened to * “Michael Row Your Corpse Ashore”? * Or “Kill-baya”? * (singing) * Someone’s oozing pus, my lord... * Kill-baya... * FRANKENSTEIN * We shouldn’t be up here, Drac. * DRACULA * Who’s ready to fly? * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 73.

DENNIS * Me! Me! Like a superhero! * FRANKENSTEIN * This thing is rickety, maybe the * kid isn’t supposed to fly-- * They have reached the top of the tower. * DRACULA * Quiet! This is how they learn. You * throw them and they figure it out. * It’s how my father taught me! * DENNIS * I wanna fly! * DRACULA * Attabat! You know Papa’s right here * if you need him! * Griffin removes his glasses. * GRIFFIN * I can’t watch this. * MURRAY * Please don’t. * DRACULA * Here...we...... go! * Dracula tosses smiling Dennis off the tower. Everyone is * horrified except for beaming, calm Dracula. We hear Dennis. * DENNIS (O.C.) * Wheeeeeeeeee! * Dracula remains calm. The others start taking peeks. * FRANKENSTEIN * He’s still not flying. * DRACULA * He will. * DENNIS (O.C.) * (slightly more distant) * Wheeeeeee! * WAYNE * Still not. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 74.

DRACULA * It’ll happen. * Beat. A very faint “wheeee”. * FRANKENSTEIN * This is a tall tower. * DRACULA * That’s why it’s good. * MURRAY * You should get him. * WAYNE * He’s gonna fall to his death. * DRACULA * He’s taking his time. * We can hear Dennis screaming. * FRANKENSTEIN * Drac! * DRACULA * I did that my first time. * More screaming. All but Dracula are beside themselves. * MURRAY * He’s getting close to the ground. * More screaming. Beat. * DRACULA * You know what, he’s not gonna fly. * Dracula shoots out of frame in a flash. As a bat, he flies at * Dennis as we reveal all the campers screaming as they watch * him fall. Dracula swoops and catches Dennis one foot before * impact, flying a triumphant loop-de-loop afterwards. * DRACULA (CONT’D) * I told you, Papa’s always here for * you. * DENNIS * Yay, Papa! Again! * They land as Dana frantically approaches them. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 75.

DANA * Oh dear. Oh my devil. We’re gonna * have to report this. * DRACULA * You mean to the press? I guess it * was pretty cool. But I’m not about * getting press. * DANA * No, sir, I mean the authorities. I * can’t not report child endangerment. * ANGLE ON the top of the tower. * WAYNE * Should we go down and help him? * FRANKENSTEIN * Nope. I told him this was nuts. * He’s on his own. * Frankenstein acts bored and leans against the rail. * DRACULA * Whoa, listen to me! That was fun! * Your singing is child abuse. * In the distant background, we see the tall tower. It is * starting to tilt on the side Frank is leaning. * DANA * I’m gonna need some information. * DRACULA * Let’s leave the cops out of this. * DANA * No, we have to call the boy’s mother. * The tower is slowly starting to fall. * DRACULA * What? No, that ain’t happening. * DANA * I have to follow protocol. * DRACULA * (quickly hypnotizing) * You will not follow protocol. * DANA * I’m a vampire. Can’t be hypnotized. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 76.

DRACULA * (giving up) * Oh. Right. * Tower falling more. We can faintly see some frenetic * activity at the top of the tower. * DANA * Now, please, give me her phone * number. Don’t make me call the * police. * The Camp Kids start screaming as the tower comes closer. * DRACULA * No one’s calling nobody! * Suddenly the tower slams to the ground, landing right on the * campfire! Frank catches fire and goes insane as everyone * scatters. He screams in terror and runs aimlessly through * different buildings, setting them on fire. *

EXT. THE LOUVRE - MOMENTS LATER On the LOUVRE ROOF, Mavis and Johnny cuddle romantically. MAVIS Okay. Now, what’s that? * JOHNNY That’s the Arc de Triomphe. Napoleon had it built. MAVIS Wow. Napoleon. You mean that creamy * pastry you had me try? JOHNNY No, hon, there was this emperor * dude, who, like, invented the * creamy pastry... * MAVIS I can’t believe all the stuff I’ve * missed living inside that hotel. * Maybe Dennis has to grow up away * from Transylvania. I don’t want him * to be weird like me. JOHNNY Are you nuts? Mavis. If Dennis * grows up to be just like you I’ll be the luckiest dad in the world. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 77.

MAVIS I love you, Johnny Stein. The sun starts to rise and they start to kiss... MAVIS (CONT’D) * And I love this vacation. * The backpack almost looks like it’s smiling as it watches them kiss. INT. JAIL - CONTINUOUS Our monsters have landed here. Frankenstein in separate cell. * FRANKENSTEIN What’d I tell you guys. Fire bad. * His HUMAN CELLMATE glares at him sitting on the BOTTOM BUNK. * FRANK’S CELLMATE Oh, no you don’t, Stitch! Bottom * bunk’s mine! * Frank sadly climbs to the top bunk. PAN to MURRAY’S CELL, with a skinny, creepy weird CELLMATE. MURRAY’S CELLMATE Looks like we’re out of toilet paper. Murray’s cellmate smiles menacingly at Murray, who’s terrified. PAN to DRACULA’S CELL, he’s in with Wayne and Dennis, who * looks a bit worried for the first time, a little teary eyed. * DENNIS * Are we bad guys, Papa Drac? * DRACULA * No, no, no, Densiovich, you could * never be a bad guy. You’re the * nicest boy in the world! We’re just * playing pretend here, and you’re - * DENNIS * Batman! * DRACULA * Uh, yes...that Batman, and I’m the * bad guy and you are locking me in * jail. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 78.

DENNIS * Cebause Batman’s the toughest and * strongest guy in the world. * DRACULA * Uh, yes. Hell help me. He’s the man. * DENNIS * Get in that jail bad guy! Cebause * I’m Batman and you’ll never excape! * DRACULA * Oh, no! Don’t hurt me, Batman! * Dracula hears a faint sound from his phone and takes it out. * DRACULA (CONT’D) * What? It’s Mavis?? * WAYNE * Hang up! You must’ve butt-dialed * her. * DRACULA * Why would my butt do that to me? * EXT. THE LOUVRE - CONTINUOUS * Mavis takes her ringing phone, sees Dracula’s number. It * disconnects. She is puzzled. * INT. JAIL - CONTINUOUS * DRACULA (CONT’D) * She’s gonna call back!! * The phone starts ringing. * WAYNE Okay. Don’t panic. There’s an app * that can help us here. DRACULA Who’s an app? WAYNE (scrolling) I just need a picture of the hotel. Ah! Got it! Looka that! Wayne shows Dracula that they are keyed into the background photo of the hotel. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 79.

DRACULA That’s insane, man! It’s like voodoo stuff. DENNIS What are you playing with? DRACULA This is the best, Denisovich! Now * we’re going to play where we pretend * we’re at home! We’re gonna play with Mommy, she loves this game! Okay?? DENNIS Yay! More pretend! * Dracula answers the phone innocently. INTERCUT with Mavis on the roof. DRACULA Yes! Hello? DENNIS Hi Mommy! MAVIS Hi Dennis! My little everything! I love you! Are you having fun? DRACULA Yes! Fun, at home! DENNIS Yes! We’re watching Cakey the Cake Monster on the TV! FRANK’S CELLMATE Hey! Tryin’ to sleep here! DRACULA Heh! That’s the TV show..? MAVIS That doesn’t sound like Cakey... FRANK’S CELLMATE The next person who wakes me up I’m gonna kill, you hear me?! DRACULA That’s Cakey’s, eh, friend, Mr. Sleepy! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 80.

Dracula quickly waves his finger causing Frankenstein’s top bunk to collapse on his Cellmate in the lower bunk. DRACULA (CONT’D) (aside to Wayne) Where’s the volume button? Dracula looks but accidentally hits the wrong button. WAYNE No, no, no. Their background changes to a beach, a stock image from the app. MAVIS What’s going on? DRACULA Nothing, we’re home. Wayne frantically grabs the phone and scrolls. They appear to be in front of a rollercoaster now. MAVIS You are not home! DENNIS (waving his hands) Ha ha! Rollercoaster! MAVIS Where are you? DRACULA Ehh...a Rollercoaster...whee! Dracula and Wayne desperately wave their hands and shake their faces like they’re absorbing the force of a rollercoaster as Dennis grabs the phone. DENNIS I wanna play! Dennis scrolls it this time...and pulls up the real image - the jail cell! But Dracula and Wayne are oblivious, continuing as if they’re on the fake rollercoaster. MAVIS What are you doing?! DRACULA Heh...we’re rollercoastering. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 81.

DENNIS Jail! MAVIS Jail?? DRACULA (realizing, covering) Heh, look at that! He’s pretending he’s in jail! Suddenly, Murray crashes through, half torn up and crying. MURRAY He wiped with me! He wiped with me! MAVIS What’s going on? I am coming home right now. And you better be there! Or I swear, Dad, we’re moving to California tomorrow! Mavis hangs up the phone and immediately runs down the walls of the Louvre, hyperventilating. Johnny struggles to climb * down quickly, clutching his backpack. * JOHNNY What’s going on?! * MAVIS * I think Dad and Dennis are in jail! * JOHNNY Whhhaaat? MAVIS We need to get home right away! Taxi! Hey... * She sees a FRENCHMAN cut her off for a taxi and makes the same crazy ROAR FACE her Dad makes. The Frenchman backs away and Mavis transforms back and gets in the cab with Johnny.

INT. JAIL - SAME DRACULA Gimme that! Dracula grabs the phone from Wayne and dials as fast as his long fingernails can. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 82.

EXT. JAILHOUSE - CONTINUOUS A phone in mid-air rings. It’s Griffin, who managed to avoid being arrested. He speaks quietly as he’s “hiding” outside. GRIFFIN Yeah? DRACULA It’s time. Get in here. Griffin removes his glasses.

INT. JAIL - CONTINUOUS The front door opens. Griffin enters the Cell area and lifts a * KEY. The Key floats over to Murray’s cell and opens the door, * letting out Murray’s creepy cellmate and closing the door. MURRAY’S CELLMATE What the -- ? Whoah! Whatever, I’m * outta here. Later, Skidmarks! * Suddenly, Griffin grabs Murray’s cellmate, makes his arms flail, and screams. GRIFFIN I’m breakin’ out! I can’t take it! MURRAY’S CELLMATE Hey? Who’s doing that? Griffin continues screaming and runs him out of jail like he's escaping. GRIFFIN Try and stop me, coppers! I’ll * clobber every one o’ yous! EVERYONE working in the jailhouse runs out and pummels * Murray’s Cellmate. Griffin puts his glasses on and walks * away. * Meanwhile, Dracula and the other monsters sneak out the front * behind the fracas, unnoticed. They run over to a dirt road where, waiting for them in his Rascal scooter, is the Blob, intact but covered with dirt and grass. A stray SQUIRREL is trapped in his body. BLOB (scolds them in blob jibberish) HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 83.

DRACULA I’m sorry, Blob, we meant to call you sooner! They all pile on to the scooter and somehow the Blob is able to drive it, awkwardly, but still fairly fast. Dracula covers up for daylight. INT. PARIS AIRPORT - LATER Mavis and Johnny arriving at the airport. They run up to TICKET COUNTER. TICKET AGENT Tous les vols sont reportés, madame. MAVIS What’s she saying? JOHNNY French stuff. MAVIS I know that, but what? JOHNNY I think all flights are delayed ‘cause of bad weather. MAVIS No!! Mavis, in hero pose, pulls out her sunblock. JOHNNY No. MAVIS Yes.

EXT. AIRPORT - MOMENTS LATER Mavis, gooped up and transformed into a bat, lifts Johnny, backpack, luggage, and all, into the sky and flies ahead. INTERCUT the MAD RACE to get back to the Hotel. - Scooter rolling along, turning sharply as everyone holds on. - Mavis bat desperately flying Johnny over Germany. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 84.

JOHNNY Whoa! That’s Berlin! One time at this hostel I roomed with this Croatian dude who carried around a stuffed animal in a cage. Freaky. MAVIS Trying to concentrate... JOHNNY Gotcha. - Scooter hits traffic. The other drivers don’t stare. - Mavis heroically dodging lightning as the weather worsens. Johnny whoops excitedly. - Blob needs to stop for a minute and pee off the highway. Griffin pees with him. Dracula waits, annoyed. * - A raincloud. Mavis and Johnny emerge, sopping wet, Mavis * unshaken, Johnny’s hands above his head in celebration. * - Dracula in slow scooter looking at his watch. Frankenstein * gives Dracula a signal. Dracula nods, then lights a * Frankenstein fart and the scooter takes off at super speed. - SUNSET - Mavis and Johnny finally see the HOTEL in the * distance and Mavis’ POV frantically scans for Dennis. * Dracula, Dennis and the Monsters deboard the scooter at the * HOTEL, still waving at their noses. Dracula proudly starts to * video chat Mavis. He sees her face on the phone, it’s angry. * DRACULA * So, hey, when are you gonna get * here already? We’ve been waiting - * He looks up. REVEAL Mavis waiting for him at the entrance. She and Johnny are now with tons more luggage. MAVIS Give me my son. DRACULA We just went out for more Meuslix. * MAVIS No you didn’t. * Dracula hands Dennis over. DRACULA Please don’t leave. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 85.

MAVIS You left me no choice, Dad. Dracula looks to Johnny for support. Johnny shakes his head. JOHNNY I stood up for you. Dracula looks down, lost. Mavis and Johnny turn to leave and Dennis sees his Grandpa, crestfallen. FRANKENSTEIN Aren’t you gonna go after them? DRACULA Maybe Mavis is right. I have to let him be who he is, just like I did with her. Angry Human and Monster GUESTS start approaching Dracula. * HUMAN GUEST * Hey! This hotel’s a joke! Where * have you been?! * Dennis smiles sadly at Dracula, trying to cheer him up. Dracula perks up, oblivious to the hotel guests. * SKELETON HUSBAND * Nobody cleaned our sheets! Now my * wife is itching! * ANOTHER HUMAN GUEST * My laundry came back with teeth * marks! * Dracula doesn’t hear a word. His grandson just smiled at him. *

INT. PLANE - LATER On the PLANE, Johnny sits with Dennis, and holds Mavis in the box again. Mavis speaks to Dennis as a bat. DENNIS Why are you in the box, mommy? MAVIS They didn’t have enough seats, honey. And your father couldn’t * bear to check his backpack! * REVEAL Johnny sitting next to his backpack, in its own seat. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 86.

JOHNNY You don’t know what they do to * backpacks down there! There’s a * whole website about it! * DENNIS Why are we leaving? Cebause you’re mad at Papa Drac? MAVIS No, honey, we’re just gonna live with Daddy’s folks for a while! A FLIGHT ATTENDANT stares at them. JOHNNY It’s my son’s turtle. He likes to pretend it can talk. DENNIS What about Papa Drac? MAVIS He'll be okay, and I promise you, * he'll always be close. PAN to the CARGO AREA of the same plane. Dracula, in bat form, is there with the Monsters, all having climbed out of a huge storage trunk they had stowed in. WAYNE What happened to letting him be who is? DRACULA Did you see how he smiled at me?! The boy needs his vampa! FRANKENSTEIN Vampa? DRACULA Vampire grandpa. Come on, you didn’t get that? MURRAY Hey, did anybody check how the * hotel was doing without Drac? * DRACULA Don’t worry about it. Who’s hungry? * Dracula steals some food from a CAGED DOG who appears asleep, then barks, startling the jumpy monsters. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 87.

INT. HOTEL - SAME Continued madness...in the POOL, SHRUNKEN HEADS are jumping * in and bobbing, freaking out HUMAN GUESTS. In the LOBBY, even * raucous SUITS OF ARMOR are playing STRIP POKER. The pups * still chasing their tails, and a number of MONSTERS and * HUMANS are trying to ride them drunk, falling off hard. *

INT. BAR - CONTINUOUS Quinston is holding court with various enthralled Monsters and Guests. His aides, Levon and Harper, stand behind him. * QUINSTON Bartender says, “Frankenstein - why the long face?” Everyone laughs hard. Levon and Harper smile smugly. * QUINSTON (CONT’D) You guys are a blast! Phantom, hit * us with some Beyonce. The PHANTOM OF THE OPERA is at the piano bar - playing a huge pipe organ. He plays Single Ladies like a gothic dirge. QUINSTON (CONT’D) Another round for the house! Everyone cheers as Jekyll makes more foaming drinks. QUINSTON (CONT’D) Jekyll, I’m diggin’ the foam! So is this like, regular vodka, or are you makin’ the potion? OTHER GUESTS Oooo-ooohh... DR. JEKYLL (containing himself) Sir, I assure you, I’m totally off the Hyde stuff... HARRY THREE-EYE Fellow wants to keep his job. * QUINSTON Keep his job here? Ho! Oucha-munga! * Dude! Totally not in the loop! DR. JEKYLL I beg your pardon? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 88.

QUINSTON Bro, it’s all over the hotel business. Dracula’s selling the place! And dumping all the monsters. MONSTERS Whuuhh? PHANTOM Dracula would never do that to us! * QUINSTON It’s happening dudes. Replacing you * with humans and hip, teen-friendly * monsters. Dudes, look what he’s * done already, making it humany. TV. Pillows. HUMAN GUEST * Pillows are nice! You rest your * head on them! * PAN to REVEAL he’s sitting next to the HEADLESS HORSEMAN. * HUMAN GUEST (CONT’D) * Uh...sorry. * From the rafters, Quasimodo chimes in. He’s tangling a cobweb. * QUASIMODO If he can backstab me, he can * backstab all of you! * HUMAN FLY But you tried to eat his son-in-law! QUASIMODO His human son-in-law! He’s the one * who brought in all ze humans! * QUINSTON * Yeah, shoulda eaten him bro. * When ya had the chance. Soon the * whole place’ll be sucking up to * humans. Check out his new * musicians. ZOMBIE COMPOSERS Grrrnnnhh? Out of nowhere, a young ZOMBIE BOY BAND appears in a cloud of smoke. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 89.

HUMAN GUEST A Zombie Boy Band! Whooo! Harry Three Eye does a spittake so huge that three HUMAN * GUESTS are completely covered in foam. The Zombie Boy Band dances and grunts in beautiful harmony. * HUMAN GUESTS storm their stage and dance with joy. * HARRY THREE-EYE * Everything was fine till Drac let * humans in! * MONSTER GUEST * And he doesn’t even care! I showed * him my fingerless chili and he * didn’t bat an eye! He left again! * Quinston sits by the bar, where Jekyll and other monsters are * steaming. He catches Jekyll eyeing his potion. * QUINSTON * Jekyll, don’t do it, bro. Fight the * foam. * QUASIMODO * Po-tion! Po-tion! * Jekyll snaps, breaking a glass that contains the potion and * chugging it down. He transforms into Hyde and leads the * charge of Monsters at the Humans. The Human Guests drop * everything and run out of the hotel, pursued by the Monsters. * HUMANS * They’re crazy! I knew we couldn’t * trust them! etc. * The Human Fly panics from the front desk. * HUMAN FLY * Oh boy. Order in the lobby! Order * in the lobby! * Out of the Human Fly’s sight, Quinston quietly slips a few * bills to the Zombie Boy Band singers, who eat them. He pours * some of Jekyll's potion into an empty small bottle and tucks * it away. *

EXT. JOHNNY’S PARENTS’ HOUSE - AFTERNOON A nice woodsy neighborhood in Northern California. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 90.

INT. FAMILY ROOM - SAME Grampa Mike and Grandma Linda are with Johnny and Mavis who is covered in sunblock, shades and a hat. It’s pretty quiet and * stilted. * GRANDMA LINDA Well, gosh. This is such a lovely surprise. MAVIS Well, we just couldn’t wait to get here. GRANDMA LINDA * Well, you’re here. JOHNNY Yeah...Mavis really wants Dennis around regular kids. GRANDMA LINDA Oh, well, I’m sure he’ll love his * cousin Parker in no time. * Outside the window on the lawn, Dennis sits there as his 7 * year old cousin PARKER circles him, grabs him, throws him in * crazy wrestling hold, circles him again, repeats the cycle. * GRANDMA LINDA (CONT’D) * There they go! Horseplaying! * Dennis is overwhelmed. Mavis tries not to panic. * GRANDMA LINDA (CONT’D) * So where are you guys gonna be * staying? * JOHNNY * Um, well, we were hoping here at * first? * GRANDMA LINDA * Oh! Sure. And, when you find your * own place, I hope it’s in this * neighborhood, it’s very kid * friendly. * Mavis smiles politely as she eyes Dennis breaking free from * Parker for a moment, only to endure attacks from more * NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 91.

GRANDMA LINDA (CONT’D) * Are ya tired, honey? You look * tired. * MAVIS * Oh, I’m okay, probably still on * Transylvania time. * GRANDMA LINDA * Yeah. Transylvania. That was a fun * experience. Mike was afraid he’d * get eaten and I told him he was * being silly. Course, you do feel * safer back here in good old Sunny * Valley. * Mavis smiles and notices outside now TWENTY NEIGHBORHOOD KIDS * throwing Dennis around in the air like a rag doll. She can’t * help herself and makes her eyes bulge briefly, casting a * quick spell on the Kids, causing them to all fall asleep * around Dennis. She smiles as if nothing happened, but * Grandma Linda touches her shoulder condescendingly. * GRANDMA LINDA (CONT’D) Yeah. You know, we have a couple of * mixed families in the neighborhood, and they might be just the right * match for you three. I thought I’d * invite them over. *

EXT. OUTDOOR SHOPPING MALL - CONTINUOUS The monsters (Dracula, Frank, Wayne, Murray, Blob) are very self-conscious, trying to cover up and not be noticed. DRACULA We can’t get noticed. We need to get some new clothes. FRANKENSTEIN American Eagle? DRACULA I’m not hungry, I said we need clothes. Dracula notices the store next to it - “The Halloween Store”. DRACULA (CONT’D) The Halloween Store! FRANKENSTEIN Halloween? It’s June. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 92.

DRACULA Man, America is weird. Well, at least we can blend in there while I * figure this out. * INT. KITCHEN - LATER * Grandma Linda enters with two couples, CAREN and PANDRAGORA, who’s a freaky-looking but chill monster with a Stoner accent. GRANDMA LINDA Oh, hi, Caren, hi Pandragora. * Mavis, this is one of those couples * I was telling you about. CAREN Welcome, Mavis! As Pandragora speaks he casually grabs and eats flying * insects. * PANDRAGORA Yeah, you’re gonna dig it here! * Don’t even worry, people are totally cool with the intermarriage thing. CAREN Oh, Pandragora. * (cheerful aside to Mavis) He does not read people very well. Not everybody is “totally cool”. * The next couple walks in, LORETTA and PAUL, who’s super hairy with a scraggly beard. GRANDMA LINDA Oh, hey you guys! And this is * Loretta, she’s married to Paul, who’s a werewolf. PAUL Excuse me? GRANDMA LINDA Yes. I was telling Mavis about the other monster/human couples in town. PAUL I am not a werewolf. GRANDMA LINDA Oh...I thought...well, you’re welcome to stay and have some coffee cake! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 93.

Paul turns and leaves bitterly, along with his wife. Johnny’s brother Brett enters with COZY, a sweet cocker * spaniel who gently kisses Johnny. * BRETT * We’re back from the senior home! * JOHNNY * Cozy! How are you, sweetie? * Cozy sees Mavis and attacks her, pouncing barking and nipping * crazily. * JOHNNY (CONT’D) * Whoa! Cozy, no! * Johnny pulls Cozy off, not before she’s eaten Mavis’ hat. * GRANDMA LINDA * Oh, dear, I forgot, Cozy has a * monster phobia. Just hates them. * Cozy dives onto Pandragora, who isn’t fazed. * PANDRAGORA * Ah, that’s cool. I get it. * GRANDMA LINDA * We better tie her up. And to think * she’s a therapy dog! * Brett takes Cozy away, still barking at Mavis, who maintains * her forced smile. Cozy bursts loose and goes nuts in the * distance. * PAUL (O.C.) * Aaugh! I said I’m not a werewolf! *

INT. FAMILY ROOM - MOMENTS LATER All are seated, drinking tea. JOHNNY We’re raising Dennis with the Educare method, so we never say “no”, but we never say “yes”. We say “no-es”. GRAMPA MIKE And what are you gonna do for a job? JOHNNY Huh? Sorry? A who? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 94.

GRAMPA MIKE A job, son, how are you gonna provide for the boy? BRETT Hey, we can totally set you up at my firm. In a few years you’ll be ready for any job in investment * banking. * JOHNNY Uh, intestine...yanking? * BRETT Yeah, the entry level hours are intense, like 7 am to 10 pm but it’s great prep. JOHNNY Huh hay hem to hen hee hem? GRAMPA MIKE Son, use your lips. JOHNNY (frozen, stunned) Ho hay. Hinhes-hin hanking? We hear faint FOOTSTEPS and the camera follows them into the BATHROOM. A PHONE floats along with the footsteps and dials. INTERCUT WITH INT. HALLOWEEN STORE - CONTINUOUS Dracula is on the phone while the other monsters are trying * on masks, doing impressions of each other in the background. * DRACULA What’s going on? What’s Mavis * saying? * GRIFFIN (quietly) She’s acting like she’s happy but I * can tell she’s off! * DRACULA Of course she’s off! She doesn’t * belong there! * GRIFFIN And the kid’s never gonna last, he - HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 95.

Suddenly Griffin sees Grandma Linda heading into the bathroom. GRIFFIN (CONT’D) Hold on I can’t talk right now. DRACULA I’ll wait. Grandma Linda is just washing/sprucing up and singing an Andres Sisters song to herself. GRANDMA LINDA Hold tight, hold tight, a-hold tight, hold tight, fododo-de-yacka saki, want some seafood...mama The singing is making Drac crazy as he waits in the store. GRANDMA LINDA (CONT’D) Shrimps and rice they're very nice Hold tight, hold tight, a-hold tight, hold tight, fododo-de-yacka saki, want some seafood...mama She finally exits and Griffin and Dracula are relieved... DRACULA Okay, so you were saying the kid -- ...but then bathroom door opens up again. It’s Pandragora, * the gross Northern Cal monster. We can see he's going for the toilet and Griffin whines quietly. At the HALLOWEEN STORE, Dracula steams with impatience as he hears farting over the phone. A KID IN A JASON MASK passes * the other Monsters. Murray and the Blob shriek in horror. * MURRAY Jason!! He’s real!!! * DRACULA (disgusted, to Griffin) * Alright, just come to the mall, we gotta get moving here!

EXT. WALMART-TYPE PLACE - LATER INT. WALMART-TYPE PLACE - CONTINUOUS Lots of freaky-looking OBESE SHOPPERS walk the aisles. Our monsters look around. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 96.

FRANKENSTEIN This place is good. We almost look normal here. DRACULA Alright, let’s hit the clothes section. Blob, it’s this way. * Dracula realizes he was talking to a BLOBBY GUY on a rascal * scooter, not the Blob himself, who’s scootering nearby. * DRACULA (CONT’D) * (to Blobby Guy) * Sorry. I meant this blob. Sorry. * EXT. WALMART-TYPE PLACE - LATER Our monsters emerge wearing cargo shorts, plaid shirts, inappropriately high socks etc, trucker hats with weird slogans and logos. DRACULA (CONT’D) Okay, almost ready. Griffin. Griffin, who is wearing similar clothes, walks to Dracula. Dracula pulls out some TANNING SPRAY and douses Griffin’s face and arms. We finally see Griffin but he looks drippy and orangy colored. FRANKENSTEIN * Wait - you have a big nose? * GRIFFIN * It’s not big, it’s prominent. * DRACULA * Prominently big. You look like a * can opener. Now, you said they’re * going to a restaurant? *

EXT. CHINESE RESTAURANT - LATER Johnny’s family and friends are at a couple of long tables * pushed together. As the adults chat, Dennis sits next to * Parker and Pandragora’s kid TROY, a weird looking half- * monster. * TROY * I got the new Street Fighter!! * PARKER * I got it yesterday! Kicks butt! * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 97.

CAREN (cheerful to Mavis) Parker’s one of the only kids who isn’t terrified of Troy. TROY * You got any video games? * DENNIS * (sensing trouble) * Um...Cakey Learns to Spell... * TORY AND PARKER * (laughing) * Cakey’s so lame! * Dennis sadly looks for support but Johnny is busy listening * to Pandragora. * PANDRAGORA * So I told him, dude, your tree is * hanging over my driveway. Of * course I’m gonna eat it. * Led by a CHINESE HOST with menus, Dracula enters with the * monsters, all in their new clothes and hats. They point to a * table close enough to see Johnny’s family clearly. As they sit down... DRACULA This is good. Everybody act human. MURRAY * You guys are gonna love Chinese * food, it’s the bomb. * DRACULA Whatever. * He sees Dennis looking a little lost and his heart breaks. DRACULA (CONT’D) Look at Denisovich. He doesn’t belong here. My poor little vampson. * WAYNE * Is that supposed to be like vampire * grandson? * DRACULA * Come on, you knew that! You didn’t * have to ask! * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 98.

CHINESE WAITER You ready for order? DRACULA Eh, sure -- Griffin crunches fried noodles as Dracula tries to order. * WAYNE Uh, I’ve never had Chinese before -- DRACULA (quietly) Idiot! Just order something! * WAYNE I’ll have the Sub...gum Lo Mein? (to Dracula) Can I ask him what it is? DRACULA No! We’ll all have the Chow Ho Fun. Okay? Sounds fun. Does it come with locusts? WAITER (thick accent) It’s a beef, with a wide noodle. DRACULA White noodle, yeah. What about the locusts? WAITER It’s a wide noodle with bean sprouts. MURRAY Are those mung bean or soybean? DRACULA What? Just tell me what insects I’m getting. WAITER It’s a mung bean sprout. MURRAY And that’s with scallions? DRACULA Okay, if you could just get to the - HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 99.

WAITER If you want scallion you could put * scallion on - * DRACULA * Fine, no scallion -- * WAITER * - but to me, the scallion take away * the flavor of the bean sprout -- * Dracula suddenly snaps and his eyes burn red, his fangs come out, and he screeches out a horrific ROAR as he did in the first film. He quickly returns to regular form, sheepish. WAITER (CONT’D) (unfazed, used to it) Okay, so we stay with the Chow Fun? * At the other table, everyone is too involved to have noticed except Johnny, who turns and briefly makes eye contact with a panicked Dracula, who looks away quickly. DRACULA Yeah, okay, we’ll take that. FRANKENSTEIN Yeah, twenty of those. Johnny steals another look over at Dracula and catches his eye. Dracula ignores him, trying to look natural. DRACULA Everybody...play it cool... * GRIFFIN * Liking this duck sauce. Anybody got * a napkin? * Griffin grabs a napkin and wipes his face, eliminating his * mouth area. * Johnny notices. Busted. He looks at Dracula again and Dracula * sneaks a look back. Johnny mouths “bathroom” and gets up. INT. RESTAURANT BATHROOM - MOMENTS LATER Johnny sees Dracula enter through a WALL OF BEADS. * JOHNNY Dracula! DRACULA Uh...yes. I’m sorry. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 100.

...and immediately hugs him desperately. JOHNNY I’m so glad you’re here! Please get me out of this! DRACULA What? What, what? JOHNNY I miss the hotel! And you! And so does Dennis! I don't wanna live here, Drac! I don't want to work with Intestine Spanking! * (emotional, horrified) Do you know what they do?!! They help people allocate and manage their assets!! DRACULA Are you crying? JOHNNY And you have to wear shoes!! Now he is crying. He looks at his sneakers. * JOHNNY (CONT’D) You’re my bestest kicks! Don’t * leave my feet! * DRACULA Okay, okay. Stop talking to your * sneakers. Just give me one night, * we’ll fix this tomorrow. * JOHNNY Tomorrow...we’re kind of...having a birthday party for Dennis... DRACULA Without me?? JOHNNY Yeah. I hired that Cakey the Cake * Monster dude to perform. DRACULA Nooo!!! If that kid sees Cakey in this town he’ll never want to leave! JOHNNY I know! What do we do? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 101.

We hear loud KNOCKS on the door. And the voice of the Chinese WAITER. CHINESE WAITER (V.O.) How long you gonna be? People * waiting. I call the police! * DRACULA I got this... * (calling out) * What if I put scallion on Lo Mein? * CHINESE WAITER * (from outside) * Noooo..you take all the flavor away * from the Lo Mein. Scallion good but - * As he continues, Dracula turns to Johnny. * DRACULA Okay. You bring that Cakey to where * I’m staying. He’ll be psyched to * meet me. Then he’ll make me part of his show and Dennis will see that real monsters are cool, too! JOHNNY And Mavis will be cool with that? DRACULA Don’t be so Maveywhipped! JOHNNY I’m scared! Everything’s so out of * control! * DRACULA It’ll all be back to normal soon. * INT. SPA - NIGHT * Eunice and Wanda are leaving the spa in robes with faces * covered in gross green stuff. * EUNICE * I never had a job before. I gotta * say, it’s a lot of work. * WANDA * No, you’ve been really busting your * hump. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 102.

EUNICE * Well, thanks for taking the last * three massages with me. It just * helped me knowing someone else was * going through what I was going * through. * They enter the LOBBY and it’s completely empty. Just he Human * Fly pacing and a Zombie Clerk playing on his smartphone in * the distance. * EUNICE (CONT’D) * What’s with the lobby and the * empty? * HUMAN FLY * Where have you been? It was mayhem * up in here! Monsters attacking * humans! It could set us back * thousands of years again! * The Fly throws up. * EUNICE * Oh, you’re sick from this. * HUMAN FLY * No, I was just cleaning myself. * WANDA * We have to stop them! * WANDA (CONT’D) * And I know just how we can, too! * Kids! Let’s - get - busy!! * She blows a silver silent whistle and...CUT TO the wolfpups, * still chasing their tails. * EUNICE * Anyway...We don’t even know where * they are. * EXT. SMALL PRIVATE AIRPORT - NIGHT * TEN LIMOUSINES have driven up to a TARMAC, and 30 Monsters, * including Quasi, Harry Three-Eye, Dr. Jekyll, the Phantom, the * Cyclops, Marty, Leonard (the Grotesque Monster) Clarabelle, * and Kelsey, are all being ushered by Quinston and his Aides, * Harper and Levon, onto a large PRIVATE JET with a Q insignia. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 103.

QUINSTON * Everybody up the stairs! Welcome! * Just leave your luggage here, we’ve * got it! * HARRY THREE-EYE * Hey, we‘re not gonna hurt Dracula, * are we? * QUINSTON * No, no, we just have to talk him * out of it before he signs over the * hotel! * Marty makes an unintelligible noise. * QUASIMODO * Oui, Marty’s right. We all heard * that Monsieur Dracula went to find * Mavis and ze grandson * QUASIMODO (CONT’D) QUINSTON * in Sunny Valley, California! (copying quickly) * In Sun..ny Valley...Cal... * ifornia! * QUINSTON Man, he is so sneaky! That’s totally where the hotel buyers are! Okay! No time to lose, monsters! * They rush in. Harry Three Eye is too big to get through the * door. * QUINSTON (CONT’D) * Butter! * Harper and Levon immediately flank Harry Three Eye and start * buttering him and he slides right through. * EXT. DAYS INN-STYLE HOTEL - MORNING INT. HOTEL ROOM - SAME Dracula and the Monsters, still disguised in different * Walmarty clothes, are gathered in the small hotel room with * two single beds. The Blob is jumping from one bed to another. * DRACULA * Blob, if you don’t mind, I’m just * trying to focus here... * Johnny opens the door, entering with THE GUY WHO PLAYS CAKEY, * a dull-looking guy with a big bag of costume. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 104.

JOHNNY Hey Guys! This is Brandon, aka * Cakey. CAKEY GUY * Great. So what are we doing here? * JOHNNY Cakey, uh, Brandon, I just wanted * to introduce you to some big stars in their own right. This is Count * Dracula... CAKEY GUY (seen it all) Cool. We had Elvira on the show, do you know her? DRACULA Who’s this...? * JOHNNY And these are Frankenstein, the Blob, Mummy, Invisible Man, and Wolfman. CAKEY GUY Uh huh. So...why’d you bring me * here? Normally I just, hit the party and we’re done. DRACULA Yes, well we...uh...wanted to meet you, of course..we’re...big fans. MURRAY Oh, yeah, man, you’re awesome. WAYNE Cakey. Classic. * GRIFFIN Yeah, do the voice. CAKEY GUY Oh, I don’t really just turn it on * and off like that. * DRACULA Yeah. That’s okay. * ROOM SERVICE WAITER knocks. * DRACULA (CONT’D) * We’re busy! * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 105.

ROOM SERVICE WAITER * Room Service. * DRACULA * Room Service? * FRANKENSTEIN * Lemme take care of this. * Frankenstein goes to the door. * FRANKENSTEIN (CONT’D) * Hey, it’s not a good time, can you * come back in a few minutes? * ROOM SERVICE WAITER * Come back? The food’s gonna get * cold, Mr. Fairchild. * FRANKENSTEIN * Uh, okay...I’ll just take it now. * The Waiter wheels the cart in and Frankenstein hurriedly * wolfs down twenty plates of waffles (including the plates). * He signs the bill. * FRANKENSTEIN (CONT’D) * Alright, thanks a lot. * Frankenstein returns to the meeting. * FRANKENSTEIN (CONT’D) * Sorry, I’m back. * CAKEY GUY So we’re good to go? JOHNNY Well, here’s the thing. I thought maybe we could spice the act up with Dracula here. CAKEY GUY Spice it up? JOHNNY See, Dracula’s my son’s grandpa. And it’ll be a huge hit if Cakey introduces him as a big surprise! CAKEY GUY Yeeeaahh...I got a pretty tight act. Seven minutes, it destroys. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 106.

JOHNNY I know, but this is Dracula. CAKEY GUY I get that. But it wouldn’t really be true to the Cakey character. Cakey wouldn’t hang out with these kinds of monsters. FRANKENSTEIN Whoa. “These kind”? * DRACULA It’s okay. It’s cool. I just thought we could throw maybe something together...something like Dracula immediately dives into a choreographed rehearsed routine for him and Cakey. He acts out both roles, singing. DRACULA (CONT’D) “I’M A MONSTER” “I’M A MONSTER TOO!” “WHO ELSE IS A MONSTER?” “DENISOVICH, ARE YOU?” “I LIKE CAKE” “AND I LIKE COW BLOOD” “BUT WE’RE REALLY ALL THE SAME” “SO LET’S ALL GO BACK TO TRAN- SYL-VANIA...” “AND WE’LL CARRY ON THE * DRACULA NAME, OH YES...WE’LL CARRY - * Dracula senses he’s bombing but pushes the energy, forcing the other Monsters to back him up singing and dancing. DRACULA (CONT’D) “ON...THE DRACULA...NAAAAAME!!” I * don’t know, something like that. CAKEY GUY Yeah...that’s gonna be a thanks but no thanks. DRACULA I could really use this. CAKEY GUY Look, man, it’s cool. We just don’t mix. I do my cake thing, you do your “bleh, bleh-bleh”, and -- Dracula snaps in a monster again, red-eyed and roaring at Cakey Guy, who flies backward into the wall and is knocked out cold. Everyone stands over him, freaked out. * DRACULA It’s okay, he’s breathing. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 107.

DRACULA (CONT’D) * (pause) Now I’ve ruined the kid’s party. * What’s wrong with me? * FRANKENSTEIN * You love your boy. We can make this * work. * GRIFFIN * Yeah. C’mon - you’re Dracula. * You’re gonna make my vampson the * best party ever. * Dracula looks at his friends and nods, smiling. * EXT. PRIVATE JET - SAME Quinston’s JET flying. * INT. PRIVATE JET CABIN - CONTINUOUS Quinston surveys the Monsters who are all seated comfortably, * watching an in-flight movie and eating cheese and fruit. QUINSTON Everybody comfortable? Everybody chimes in, purring with delight. QUINSTON (CONT’D) Okay, now I’ve drawn up a contract * that we’re gonna make him sign, * (producing a contract) * promising never to sell the hotel * and to always employ monsters! * The others are polite but are trying to watch the inflight movie and getting drinks from the FLIGHT ATTENDANT. MARTY * (noises) * QUINSTON Marty, you want to review it? Are * you an attorney? MARTY * (noises) * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 108.

QUINSTON An online degree? Yeah, look, bro, * it’s probably a little more fine * printy than what you’re used to. * Why don’t you have yourself a drink. * FLIGHT ATTENDANT Bloody Mary? MARTY (jibberish) FLIGHT ATTENDANT Decapitated Mary. Got it. Quinston quietly reviews the contract, which clearly hands over the hotel to him. He signals to Levon and Harper, who * sneak the Flight Attendant the bottle of potion as she * prepares everyone's drinks. INT. COCKPIT - MOMENTS LATER PILOTS are calmly making small talk. PILOT #1 Yeah, I’m gonna hit Napa for a couple of days. PILOT #2 Nice. Always relaxing up there. * They hear noise from the cabin. PILOT #2 (CONT’D) Lemme check on that. Pilot #2 opens the door to reveal all the Monsters have * become Mr. Hyded: crazed, larger and fiercer versions of what they were before. Quinston is holding up a picture of Dracula, firing them up. They throw their foamy drinks at it. Pilot #2 closes the door and calmly gets back in his seat. * PILOT #2 (CONT’D) * Must be a bachelor party. * INT. JOHNNY'S PARENTS HOUSE - LATE AFTERNOON A bunch of neighborhood families are at Dennis' birthday party. We see Mavis, lotioned up, straining to fit in seamlessly with the human parents. MAVIS Anybody want some pita sandwiches? HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 109.

SNOTTY MOM There’s no, like, insects in it, is there? Cuz I don’t eat that. MAVIS No, no, all normal stuff. SNOTTY MOM Like, normal for me? Mavis smiles and nods, hurt. Dennis, dressed as Batman-y super hero, isn’t getting much * attention. While the other kids play together, Dennis is * playing Batman alone. Mavis looks at him sympathetically. * DENNIS * Get in that jail, bad guy! Cebause * I’m Batman! * (assumes Dracula voice) * Oh, no! Don’t hurt me, Batman! * Johnny shows up to the Mavis’ relief. JOHNNY Hey, everybody! MAVIS * Johnny! * GRAMPA MIKE Where you been, son? JOHNNY * Uh...I was just at the library, * sharpening my inquestion spanking * skills. * GRANDPA MIKE * Good. Remember Tom Kessel? * TOM KESSEL Hey, Johnny! Interested in * derivatives? Hedge funds? JOHNNY Uh, the first one? Derithmetic? MAVEY (fake tense smile) Johnny, did you bring Cakey? DENNIS Cakey? But I said -- HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 110.

JOHNNY (nervous) It’s all good, it’s all good. Kids, everyone, have a seat. You’re gonna love this, because...Dennis has a big surprise for everyone. Dennis looks tense from the pressure. JOHNNY (CONT’D) Here he is - Cakey the Cake Monster! Some younger kids cheer loudly (while the kids Dennis’ age * are less enthused) as Cakey is maneuvered out by Frank, * Murray, and Wayne. * CAKEY/DRACULA Hey kids! It’s me, Cakey! What a * wonderful Cakey Day it is! * Immediately, Cakey is attacked by Cozy the dog, who breaks her gate again. BRETT Cozy! No! TOUGH KID Ha! Yeah! Get Cakey! GRANDMA LINDA I guess Cozy doesn't even like harmless monsters! * Grandma Linda looks sheepish, realizing she's offended Mavis, * who smiles bravely through it. Grampa Mike shakes his head, * sympathetic. Cozy still gnaws at Dracula’s leg but Wayne * ferociously barks at him form behind a bush. Cozy backs away, * whimpering. * CAKEY/DRACULA Yes, anyways, I’m Cakey, alright! * Who here, eh, loves cake? * KIDS (mixed energy) Meeee! CAKEY/DRACULA Yes! That’s what I do! I love cake! Yummy, yummy cake! For the stomach! YOUNGER KID Tummy! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 111.

CAKEY/DRACULA I was about to say tummy! Cakey in * my tummy! Makes it all...plummy! * Look at me, I love cake! That's it! That's all I got! Cake, cake, cake! * ANOTHER KID (to Dennis) Your Cakey bites! * CAKEY/DRACULA Yes! So does your face, booger * eater! * ANOTHER KID What? CAKEY/DRACULA But you know what, kids - there are even better monsters than me! YET ANOTHER KID That doesn’t even sound like Cakey. MAVIS Who is that, Johnny? AND ANOTHER KID (to Dennis) Cakey’s a loser and so are you! * CAKEY/DRACULA Quiet...quiet! YET ANOTHER KID You be quiet, Dork! Cakey/Dracula freezes the Yet Another Kid with hypno-eyes. * MAVIS Wait a minute... MEAN KID Your party’s so lame! * Dennis looks hurt and Cakey/Dracula levitates the Mean Kid, * then makes him smash the pinata with his face repeatedly. * Other kids run for the candy and Dracula makes it turn to * beetles, scaring them all. * MAVIS Okay, stop it! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 112.

SNOTTY MOM What is this? LINDA * I’m gonna get the cake ready. * CAKEY/DRACULA Who else wants a piece of Cakey? A few OTHER KIDS run at him and Cakey/Dracula hypno-pulls their pants down and makes them poop in their underwear. CAKEY/DRACULA (CONT’D) * Wow, talk about your party poopers! * Dennis laughs as the Other Kids freak out, crying. * PARENTS * What’s going on? We’re leaving this * freak show! etc. * Suddenly Frank, Wayne, the Blob, Murray, and Griffin make a late entrance... FRANK/BLOB/MURRAY/GRIFFIN/WAYNE AND WE’LL CARRY ON...THE DRACULA... * Linda comes out with the cake, lit with candles. * FRANKENSTEIN Fire!! FIRE!!!! Frankenstein runs away, into a tree. He then pulls the tree * out of roots and tosses it, crushing someone’s car in the * driveway. Now Parents are really running out, screaming. * The other Monsters tackle and contain Frankenstein as Mavis * lifts off Cakey's head revealing Dracula. She gasps, frozen. DRACULA I know what it looks like... MAVIS How could you do this? Why can’t you ever let go? JOHNNY Let go of what? Dennis isn’t happy here! DENNIS I actually didn’t want Cakey... MAVIS Dennis just got here! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 113.

JOHNNY You know he doesn’t fit in here! MAVIS Johnny, he’s not a monster! DRACULA You don’t know that! MAVIS He likes Mueslix! As they argue, Dennis looks very uncomfortable. JOHNNY Cuz he’s never tried anything fun! GRANDMA LINDA Johnny, I think Dennis just wants to be normal! GRAMPA MIKE Don’t say that! He is normal! MAVIS Can we stop using the word normal? DRACULA Where I live he’s normal! Suddenly, Dennis runs away and no one notices. MAVIS He won’t be happy living there! JOHNNY Well he’s not happy here! EXT. JOHNNY'S PARENTS HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER DENNIS is running as fast as he can, not in any direction, deep into the WOODS surrounding Johnny's parents house. EXT. JOHNNY’S PARENTS NEIGHBORHOOD - CONTINUOUS The Hotel Monsters, still all Hyded-up, are driving in a line * of HUGE STRETCH LIMOS looking for Johnny's parents house. * LIMO DRIVER 74 Crescent Court. Gettin’ close. * QUINSTON Cool! Keep it going, folks! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 114.

Quinston holds a pic of Dracula to keep the angry monsters * focused. *

INT. JOHNNY’S PARENTS’ HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER GRANDMA LINDA I’m sure Dennis wants to fit in, don’t you Dennis? Dennis? MAVIS Dennis?! DRACULA Denisovich?! JOHNNY Dennis! Where’d you go, buddy? Everyone starts frantically looking for him. EXT. WOODS - CONTINUOUS Dennis is still running, very upset.

EXT. JOHNNY’S PARENTS NEIGHBORHOOD - CONTINUOUS The Crazed Monsters are getting closer to the house, but Quasimodo notices Dennis in the nearby woods and frantically gestures to him. QUASIMODO Zee boy! Zee little Dracula! QUINSTON What are you saying, bro? QUASIMODO Grandson! QUINSTON Whoa. Stop the cars! * The first LIMOS screeches to a halt, causing a limo pile up. * The monsters run out and Quinston leads them into the woods. * QUINSTON (CONT’D) This way, dudes! Keep it nuts! EXT. WOODS - MOMENTS LATER Dennis runs and is suddenly confronted by the monsters. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 115.

DENNIS Leave me alone, you guys! CLARABELLE Where Dracula?! DENNIS Cousin Clarabelle? MARTY (fierce jibberish) DENNIS Uncle Marty?? Dennis’ terrifying POV surveys all the distorted faces of monsters he grew up with. Overwhelmed, he runs away. * INT. JOHNNY’S PARENTS’ HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Now everyone is starting to look inside the house. Dracula and Mavis are freaking out. EVERYONE Dennis?? Dennis, where’d you go? DRACULA Denisovich, please!! I’m sorry! MAVIS Dennis!! I’m sorry! Where are you?! EXT. WOODS - CONTINUOUS Dennis runs from the monsters and spots a tree - his only option. He’s afraid to climb it - but he does and he makes it quickly up to a high branch! He’s surprised. Now Quasimodo chases him up the tree and before he can think, * he jumps for another tree! But he misses, and Quinston is * there to catch him. QUINSTON Gotcha! This is awesome. See guys, * now we can use this kid as ransom to get his Grampa to do what we want! MONSTERS Ransom! Get Dracula! * DENNIS You not gonna hurt Papa Drac. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 116.

QUINSTON No way, little dude. Not if Papa gives me his hotel. DENNIS Papa won’t give you his hotel... QUINSTON Why not? Why not? DENNIS (scared) Cebause... QUINSTON Cebause what? Cebause he wants to die?! The Monsters yell angrily in support. INT. JOHNNY'S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER Dracula and Mavis seem to hear something in the distance. And they both get the same idea. At the same time, they transform into bats and fly out of different windows, flying over the * neighborhood, calling for Dennis. DRACULA, MAVIS (separately) Dennis! Denisovich! EXT. WOODS - MOMENTS LATER DENNIS Why do you be so mean to Papa Drac? QUINSTON Because he said NO! Now he’s gonna lose you, and his life, or lose the T. That’s what I’m gonna call it, the T. It’s cleaner, don’t you think? The Monsters cheer in agreement. DENNIS No! I don’t think so! QUINSTON (angry) I LIKE IT! Sorry, Curly, there's nothing you can do about it. You’re just a weak...little...kid. HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 117.

Dennis summons up all his anger...and suddenly makes the fierce red eyed vampire face Dracula makes! And growls like Dracula! And bares fangs! Suddenly exploding with power, Dennis breaks free from Quinston and hurtles him with his mind, sending him flipping into a mudpile! The other monsters attack Dennis and he defeats them in sequence, dodging them with super speed, pounding them with super strength and making them freeze, rise, and smash into each other with mind control. As monsters are dropping Quinston frantically looks for Levon * and Harper to feed them the potion, but they run away. So he * feeds some squirrels some potion and they get Hyde-d. * QUINSTON (CONT’D) Go get him! The little guy! The squirrels attack but Dennis turns into a bat and scares them off. Quinston seethes, still holding some potion. Before the tail end of the fighting, Dracula discovers Dennis. DRACULA Mavis! Over here! Mavis flies to Dracula and they witness the bat turn back * into Dennis, who finishes off the monsters. They are stunned. * Dennis lifts the last Monster high into the air before tossing him. Dennis raises his arms in celebration and lets * out a roar! Dracula and Mavis fly in. * DENNIS Papa! Mommy! Mavis runs to hug Dennis. DRACULA Denisovich! He joins the hug -- but Quinston has finally made himself a Hyde, a Hulk-like Quinston monster rising out of the mudpile. * Dracula is unaware as Quinston goes after him with a wooden stake he broke off from a tree! Only Dennis spots Quinston -- DENNIS Papa! Dracula turns around, shocked, but Dennis FREEZES Quinston just in time. The stake was an inch away from Dracula! HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 118.

DRACULA Thanks for that. * DENNIS Papa! I’m a vampire! DRACULA I'm just glad you're okay. * Dracula hugs Dennis and sheds a tear. MAVIS Dad, I’m so sorry. You were right. DRACULA None of us were right. We all wanted to tell Dennis who he was. He could only figure it out when he was left alone. DENNIS Did you just call me Dennis? DRACULA Sure. It’s cleaner. Mavis hugs them both. Suddenly Johnny runs in, filled with * rage and energy, karate kicking and chopping wildly. * JOHNNY * Boom! Bam! Bruce Lee! Bam! Who * wants some?! * He notices the fight’s all over. * JOHNNY (CONT’D) * It’s over? Okay. Got ya next time. * The other share a chuckle as we DISSOLVE TO... * EXT. HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA - THE NEXT DAY INT. BALLROOM - NIGHT We conclude with a BIG BIRTHDAY PARTY with a full slew of happy Monsters (all back to normal) and Human Guests. * Dennis, dressed with a t-shirt that has a vampire on it, is ecstatic, as is his whole family (both sides are present), knowing this is where Johnny, Mavis and Dennis belong. Dracula is giving a speech. * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 119.

DRACULA * I have dedicated my life to * protecting monsters, and that will * never change! Hotel Transylvania * will always be here - for humans * but also for you! * The Monsters cheer! * DRACULA (CONT’D) * We will always be proud of who were * are, but we can lead any life we * desire. Dennis, that is all I wish * for you. Now let’s get this party * happening! * The kids cheer, including some of the TOUGH KIDS from the * Norcal party, who immediately get roughed up by Wolfpups. * QUICK MONTAGE of the entertainment: - Harry Three Eye introduces Wayne, now in a magician’s * outfit, holding up a rabbit. HARRY THREE-EYE * Now wonder at the magic of my new * apprentice, Wayne! * WAYNE For my next trick, I will make this rabbit disappear. Kids watch in horror as Wayne devours the rabbit. Some cry. WAYNE (CONT’D) What? I did what I said I’d do. * - Zombie Composers, reinstated, bombing with the Human Kids. * They start copying the Boy Band’s harmonies and the kids * cheer. Everybody’s dancing, including the Blob dancing wildly * with a HUMAN LADY GUEST. Murray and a MUMMETTE dance near * Frank and Eunice. * MURRAY * Check it out - looks like Griffin * doesn’t have to fake it anymore. * Invisible Man is dancing expertly with a HOT HUMAN GIRL - it * builds from a Dancing with the Stars ballroom dance with * flips and throws to a suggestive, grinding Dirty Dancing. * DRACULA * Griffin! Easy! There’s kids here! * HT2 - RS/AS 2nd draft 120.

GRIFFIN * Sorry. * Griffin finishes with an amazing twirl and catch. CUT TO * Three monsters holding up cards - A SKELETON (10), the Human * Fly (9) and the Old Gremlin Lady (10). The Old Gremlin Lady * eats the Human Fly’s card. * HUMAN FLY * I beg your pardon. * OLD GREMLIN LADY * I didn’t do that. * Winnie walks up to Dennis. WINNIE Dennis, I missed you! Zing Zing! Winnie lovingly tackles Dennis. Mavis looks concerned but * Johnny relaxes her - this time Dennis is in control. He * hypnotizes Winnie making her fly upside down. She giggles * crazily. DENNIS * I missed you too, Winnie. * WINNIE Zing! Zing! Dennis floats up and grabs Winnie, dancing a smooth slow * dance with her on the ceiling. The Zombies play romantically, * as Dracula watches next to Grandpa Mike, Johnny and Mavis. * DRACULA * What a stud. Not to brag, but we * all know where he gets that from. * The song shifts into something upbeat and Dennis suddenly * breaks from Winnie and starts dancing as geekily as it gets. * The Monster judges all hold up 0’s. * JOHNNY * Oh yeah! Still got some of me in * him. * CREDIT BUMPER EXT. WOODS - NIGHT Hyded-up Quinston remains in the frozen position, holding the wooden stake, looking startled. Long silence. Then, suddenly, Cozy bursts into frame, attacking him. Quinston makes a whining sound as we CUT TO REMAINING CREDITS.