IN QUEST of TRUTH Or How I Came to Meher Baba
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IN QUEST OF TRUTH Or How I Came to Meher Baba By Irene Conybeare An Avatar Meher Baba Trust eBook June 2011 Source: This eBook reproduces the original edition of In Quest of Truth, published by Swami Satya Prakash Udaseen (Kakinada, A.P., India) in 1962. eBooks at the Avatar Meher Baba Trust Web Site The Avatar Meher Baba Trust’s eBooks aspire to be textually exact though non-facsimile reproductions of published books, journals and articles. With the consent of the copyright holders, these online editions are being made available through the Avatar Meher Baba Trust’s web site, for the research needs of Meher Baba’s lovers and the general public around the world. Again, the eBooks reproduce the text, though not the exact visual likeness, of the original publications. They have been created through a process of scanning the original pages, running these scans through optical character recognition (OCR) software, reflowing the new text, and proofreading it. Except in rare cases where we specify otherwise, the texts that you will find here correspond, page for page, with those of the original publications: in other words, page citations reliably correspond to those of the source books. But in other respects—such as lineation and font—the page designs differ. Our purpose is to provide digital texts that are more readily downloadable and searchable than photo facsimile images of the originals would have been. Moreover, they are often much more readable, especially in the case of older books, whose discoloration and deteriorated condition often makes them partly illegible. Since all this work of scanning and reflowing and proofreading has been accomplished by a team of volunteers, it is always possible that errors have crept into these online editions. If you find any of these, please let us know, by emailing us at [email protected]. The aim of the Trust’s online library is to reproduce the original texts faithfully. In certain cases, however—and this applies especially to some of the older books that were never republished in updated versions—we have corrected certain small errors of a typographic order. When this has been done, all of these corrections are listed in the “Register of Editorial Alterations” that appears at the end of the digital book. If you want the original text in its exact original form, warts and all, you can reconstruct this with the aid of the “register.” The Trust’s Online Library remains very much a work in progress. With your help and input, it will increase in scope and improve in elegance and accuracy as the years go by. In the meantime, we hope it will serve the needs of those seeking to deepen and broaden their own familiarity with Avatar Meher Baba’s life and message and to disseminate this good news throughout the world. In Quest Of Truth Or How I Came To Meher Baba An Autobiography by IRENE CONYBEARE Published by: Swami Satya Prakash Udaseen Kakinada, A. P. 1 I would like to acknowledge the help of Professor C. D. Deshmukh, M. A., Ph. D., also of K. K. Ramakrishnan, Secre- tary, Avatar Meher Baba Poona Centre. I have also to make acknow-ledgment to The Awakener, New York, (a journal devoted to the mission of Meher Baba.) Printed by: J. S. Tilak Kesari Press 568 Narayan Peth Poona–2 2 "I have come not to teach, but to awaken!" - Meher Baba This book is humbly and respectfully dedicated to the Avatar Meher Baba. 3 SPECIAL NOTE Although Meher Baba has given (through gestures interpreted by certain of his disciples) some special features for this book, it should at the same time clearly be understood that the Master does not necessarily agree with the views expressed by the author. Meher Baba has always allowed full freedom of thought and expression to his followers. 4 C O N T E N T S Preface Introduction 1. Beginning to Search. 2. The Flower Girl. 3. Initiations. 4. Paul Brunton’s views on Meher Baba. 5. Illumination and Aldous Huxley. 6. Dreaming into the Future. 7. India. 8. America. 9. Homewards. 10. Return to India. 11. Meher Baba. 12. Meher Baba’s Teachings. 13. Return to South Africa. 14. Need for the Avatar. APPENDIX 1. Meher Baba. 2. F. C. Conybeare. 3. Maya, by Meher Baba. 4. Reincarnation. 5. Thought-Forms. 6. Hereafter. 7. Kundalini ( Yoga ). 8. Aura and the Halo, by Meher Baba. 9. Explanation by Meher Baba. 10. Mast 5 PREFACE Some have asked me to rewrite my last book Civilisation or Chaos?* in a language more suitable for the general public. I fear this is not possible, for to explain the World Crisis in the light of Eastern metaphysics is a task that is not easy. In that work I tried to diagnose the grave social maladies of our times in the light of the teachings of Meher Baba.‡ I have also attempted to show that those who are fitted to guide mankind out of the present impasse are the Great Ones through whom the Christ or Buddha consciousness can be manifested. I now feel that instead of rewriting that book, a personal narrative of my quest for Truth would be more to the point; so I have written this book in the form of a part autobiography, drawing on the former work where necessary. I feel that the autobiography shows a convincing series of events which led me eventually to Meher Baba, and enables * Civilization or Chaos? First edition 1955, second edition 1959, published by Chetana Ltd. Bombay. Abbreviated translations in Hindi, Marathi, Telegu and Gujerati, published by Adi K. Irani, Ahmednagar, 1956. ‡ Meher Baba. See Appendix I. 6 me to answer some of the poignant and soul-searing questions of today; amongst others, will the sun go down and the stars come out over a dead world? Will our planet become another moon? For, are we not living in an apocalyptical and eschatological age? The authorities write millions of words to diagnose the malady afflicting Homo Sapiens and to find the cause of the world unrest. Numerous national and international bodies exist to try to promote mutual sympathy and co-operation, since it must be ONE world or NONE! But who can give the right answer? One must look below the surface, into the inner truths and inner realities, into the laws that govern man and the universe. We are as ever the slaves of scientific materialism. It is not the collection of more and more facts that is wanted – interesting though they may be – it can be only the spiritual truths which can set us free. These are little studied, because they involve some knowledge of the ways of God and His laws. Meanwhile, another war has come and gone, and now we are waiting for the final war, to end all wars! Many think our civilisation is doomed, not because of its over-industrialisation and artificiality, but because man’s intellectual equipment has outstripped his moral and spiritual development. It is more than thirty years ago since I listened to my father* and his friends; they were agreed that our civilisation could not last, for misdirected scientific achievements would destroy it. But science cannot be blamed, for it is strife that annihilates. They felt, in fact, that if civilisation was to be saved, some form of spiritual compensation must take place. Brought up in the rationalist school, I suffered from religious inhibitions, so was free from all sectarian bias. Later, however, I began to search for the spiritual compensation that must save humanity. For, are we not being told on all sides that we need a change of heart to make a better-balanced mankind more * The late Dr. F. C. Conybeare, M. A., LL. D., F. B. A., etc. The Oxford Patristic Scholar and Armenian expert. 7 capable of coping with the problems of the present day. But HOW could any change of heart come about? Would it not have to be a cosmic change of heart? And how could that happen except by the Grace of God? Some form of divine intervention? But how to believe in Omnipotence; for no ordinary human agency could help in a disaster of unlimited dimensions. I have attempted to answer some of these paralysing questions in this book, or at least to give a lead to readers who are interested in such questions – for they can if they will – study this way of thought by following up the various sources alluded to and those who want testimony can start in search for the manifestation of the Divinity that exists in everything and is everywhere. In these days of constantly recurring crises, of distorted values and ideological conflicts, more and more of us are looking for the peace of mind that can only be found in the inner truths and inner realities of existence. Science, hitherto absorbed in the study of visible man and the visible universe, is now beginning to turn its attention to invisible man and the invisible universe. With the advance of parapsychology, radiesthesia, radionics and above all metaphysics, there are some of scientific persuasion who are beginning to realise that "a house, a star and a tree are not what they seem to be, but 'pointers' to a deeper reality which science can never reach."* There is now a distinct suspicion that there may be super physical realities; that man has latent properties within him that cannot be weighed, measured, analysed, inducted and deducted. This change of thinking from the more or less materialistic theories of the Victorian age is leading some to an unorthodox approach to ideas involving metaphysics, philosophy and religion.