Vol. 19 Issue 21 All Rights Reserved © 2021 WHY SOME BOOKS ARE NEVER PUBLISHED Bad lines from bad books ...They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. ...John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met. ... He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River. ... Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut. ... Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do. ...The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work. ...He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphori- cal lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something. ...The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant. ...Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. PUBLISHED AND DISTRIBUTED WEEKLY BY PASSTIMES OF ARIZONA, LLC -
[email protected] - 480.983.9143 I LIVE IN A NEIGHBORHOOD SO BAD THAT YOU CAN GET SHOT WHILE GETTING SHOT – CHRIS ROCK Fred: My great grandfather, an avid golfer his whole life, claimed he watched America win an Olympic gold medal for golf. I don’t remember golf ever being a featured sport. What gives? Signed, Sandy Traps. Dear Sandy: Golf was an Olympic event only twice, once in LIFE IS GOD’S NOVEL.