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DIGITAL COLLECTIONS ITEM TRANSCRIPT Semeon Kazakevich. Diary, 1940 - 1941 ID MISC004.047 PERMALINK http://n2t.net/ark:/86084/b4c53f46b ITEM TYPE DIARY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE RUSSIAN TABLE OF CONTENTS ITEM TRANSCRIPT ENGLISH TRANSLATION 2 CITATION & RIGHTS 18 2021 © BLAVATNIK ARCHIVE FOUNDATION PG 1/19 BLAVATNIKARCHIVE.ORG DIGITAL COLLECTIONS ITEM TRANSCRIPT Semeon Kazakevich. Diary, 1940 - 1941 ID MISC004.047 PERMALINK http://n2t.net/ark:/86084/b4c53f46b ITEM TYPE DIARY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE RUSSIAN 2021 © BLAVATNIK ARCHIVE FOUNDATION PG 2/19 BLAVATNIKARCHIVE.ORG DIGITAL COLLECTIONS ITEM TRANSCRIPT Semeon Kazakevich. Diary, 1940 - 1941 ID MISC004.047 PERMALINK http://n2t.net/ark:/86084/b4c53f46b ITEM TYPE DIARY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE RUSSIAN TRANSCRIPT ENGLISH TRANSLATION July 15, 1940 I think, I’ve had enough of Romain Rolland’s verbocity. I don't see the point of so many words and empty musings. Was it really so difficult to reveal Jacques’s views sooner. I’ve swallowed about 600 pages and was consumed by an endless stream of equivocations. He overdid it. He said it himself that the guy had no formal education, but then he goes on musing as only Romain Rolland can. The writer has put into his mouth what he himself thinks and not his protagonist. Not only could this guy not have thought this way, but Rolland himself couldn’t have in his youth. (what a discovery . I write all sorts of nonsense when I’m bored). I do nothing except reading. When I get bored of reading, I just lounge around. Having nothing to do, I look out the window and check out a girl (I can't make out how old she is) in the opposite window. She glances back furtively. July 16, 1940. I wish it were 3pm already; I’d rather go to the library. An orchestra from Lahti sounds quietly (there is no antenna, so I receive just the input). I read from dawn till dusk. 20:24 I am just sitting here not knowing what else to do. They are broadcasting the opera "Troubadour" performed by the Milan Theater (!!!) and I am about to finish reading "Christophe". I would like to do both things, but I could never multitask. I am either completely absorbed in music and forget all else or read and hear not what is happening around. Perhaps it is better to read because as I listen to beautiful music I start musing and it is not good. It is better to immerse oneself in the book and experience another person’s life than reminisce about one’s own. I haven't heard these wonderful voices for a long time. I have often heard Italian masters being accused of singing without fervour, of having no feeling, while their voices are just a matter of training. In my opinion, it’s the other way around; it is our modern Russian singers in Lemeshev who don’t come even close . It is impossible not to listen to such voices. Ah, to hell with the book. I'm just sitting and listening. I can't imagine being in the Milan theater and hearing and seeing these artists live. They apparently acted no worse than they sang. July 19 2021 © BLAVATNIK ARCHIVE FOUNDATION PG 2/19 BLAVATNIKARCHIVE.ORG DIGITAL COLLECTIONS ITEM TRANSCRIPT Semeon Kazakevich. Diary, 1940 - 1941 ID MISC004.047 PERMALINK http://n2t.net/ark:/86084/b4c53f46b ITEM TYPE DIARY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE RUSSIAN I am terribly bored. On my own all the time. Too lazy to even get down to work. After entertainment, one is usually eager to work, but my days are filled with boredom, there is nothing interesting to do. I also lost my desire to construct. The heatwave is upon us, and there is nowhere to go. I am sick of reading the entire day. I'll go to the Letnii Sad. July 21 I’ve spent almost half a day up on the roof. I had to set up the antenna myself, put up poles, etc. (the old one had been cut off). Tired as hell, but didn't manage to finish everything. I'll just have to do it tomorrow. At the moment, there is nothing to do, so I am bored. I spent the entire day on my feet, so not going out in the evening. The day has passed. I didn't have time for anything else. July 24 What awful boredom. Forever alone. There is nowhere to go. All my friends (and there are only three of them: B, L, and V) have left. Anatoly, the swine, does not deign to visit. To hell with him! Usually we would take him down a peg, but now he has all the freedom to think of himself as a superior person. He is not going to stoop down to some former schoolmates (what the devil does he need them for?). He’s got a woman and hangs out with her. And to think how thick as thieves we used to be in school! It seemed that we would go on as close friends, but now I see what this penny friendship is worth. Admittedly, our lives after school have become different. Anatoly and Yurka are doing history and besides . I got distracted. August 3, 1940 It’s noon. I am alone; everybody's left. Lyuba left at half past midnight today. Excerpts from "Swan Lake" (generally ballet music) is on the radio. When I got down to writing, it was a scene from the Fourth Act, and now some substandard mazurka. If only I had some tape, I would have recorded this wonderful music. So, I didn’t manage to do anything for the whole month; one must have materials. As luck would have it, the turning work (I hadn’t managed to finish the microphone parts in the workshop) is suspended and I cannot assemble the microphone. Plus, there is nowhere to get the tape, so it figures why I am not doing anything. No wonder one turns into a pessimist. Will I never . Murderous melancholy. I want to howl like a wolf with hopelessness. All day I have been distracting myself with something, and now, in the evening, I don’t know what to do with myself. And I could do so much work. But . I’ve lost all 2021 © BLAVATNIK ARCHIVE FOUNDATION PG 3/19 BLAVATNIKARCHIVE.ORG DIGITAL COLLECTIONS ITEM TRANSCRIPT Semeon Kazakevich. Diary, 1940 - 1941 ID MISC004.047 PERMALINK http://n2t.net/ark:/86084/b4c53f46b ITEM TYPE DIARY ORIGINAL LANGUAGE RUSSIAN ambition. I am tormented by a living ghost, and inanimate nature ceases to interest me. How strong is this damn sex drive. Even reason is helpless. I fell in love and can’t do anything about it. One single thought haunts me like a thousand devils in a dream, on the street, in a tram, while talking to people. The only time I am free of it is when I am building something or studying. Then I forget and think not about this passion. Indeed, I have learnt the lesson of not tender passion but a hopeless one. If Tatiana asked me this question now, I would have an answer for her. I have experienced the steel grip of this “tender” science. Each entry begins with the words: "awful boredom", "boring", "I don't want to do anything" and the like. There is nothing worse than this monotony. Admittedly, I start writing just when I feel uncomfortable and I cannot do anything but sit and think about Tatiana and write. So, naturally, I start off with the word "boredom". August 10 I’ve been fiddling with the modular core of the recorder all day. Alas, the metal files I bought could not take on transformer iron, and I had to stop the work just as I was about to finish. There is nothing to cut the T-slot with. I spent half a day working at the lathe in vain. The softer rubber makes the frequency spectrum recorded on the tape narrower. There is less noise, but melodic nuances become imperceptible either. I tried to rerecord using the old hard rubber and it’s incomparable. Perfect. If I keep on recording this way, when the signal level is much higher than the interference signal, i.e. the hiss of the needle, it will be perfect. As before, the sore point is where to procure some tape???! Tomorrow, I will have to finish the core and wind low-resistance modulation coils (at the moment, I have high-resistance ones. The circuit is grounded through 4MF from +A 6L6 lamp. This means that the output transformer is not connected to an external load and the load resistance is only the first winding of the transformer. So, the lamp works in some stupid mode, which makes distortions possible. If there is a low-resistance input of the recorder, then the output transformer will be given the required load. It will be possible to have more power from the amplifier and therefore record (Now I am limited by power. Above a certain level, distortions begin. The reasons for them I have not yet figured out for sure. Most likely, it happens because of the afore- mentioned. But it is possible that the recorder's armature begins to resonate, but this is unlikely. Or its inertia with very strong armature vibrations does not allow it to follow the electrical vibrations of the incoming signal. It is hardly possible, because my armature is clamped tightly, and besides, I used to have recordings made with a recorder that had a low-resistance input. Then I got much stronger vibrations of the armature.