TransformingMotherhood Societal Perception of MothersStory Through Portraiture Project & Storytelling

Andrea Caresse Lewis Master of Fine Arts Thesis Project Liberty University

School of Visual and Performing Arts Department of Studio and Digital Arts For my incredible children - Hudson and Ellie. You have taught me what it means to be a mother.

And for my amazing husband - Aaron, I wouldn’t be where I am today without you. Motherhood Story Project 004 Bibliography 144 Appendix 140 Chapter Six:Conclusion Chapter Five:Social Chapter Four:Photography Chapter Three: Survey Chapter Two: Chapter One:Introduction Research Abstract 008 014 S ignatures 006 Content

134 126 096 064 010

Motherhood Story Project 005 Motherhood Story Project 006 Todd Smith,Department Chair Timothy IsaacsonThesisReader2 Paul Reynolds,ThesisReader1 Monique Maloney, ThesisChair Signatures

Motherhood Story Project 007 Motherhood Story Project 008 of various types of mothers and their stories. the viewerwithanauthenticlookinto thelives explored andvisuallyrepresented, providing so, thereal nature ofmotherhoodwillbe throughdoing portraiture and storytelling. By place inthelivesofwomentoday’s culture and toshowcasethereal-life storiesthattake thesis istoexplore the realities ofmotherhood they haveembraced.Thepurposeofthis and completelyunprepared forthenewjourney of worlds, mothersoftenfeel ostracized, alone, know it.Becauseofthisdichotomyandplurality continuing the very concept of civilization as we to thegrowth anddevelopment ofanewhuman, reality isthatwomen devote theirentire being of seeminglypurposelessidentity. Whilethe on their bodies and careers topursuea life often paints mothers as women who give up drastically different viewsofmotherhood.Society In ourmodernwesternculture, there are two Abstract

Motherhood Story Project 009 Motherhood Story Project 010 Chapter One:Introduction M personalities, individual as it covers avarietyof scene. grace thepopularmedia real-life mothersrarely visual representations of are oftenlacking,and surrounding motherhood modern dayworks artistic incredible torealize that “motherhood,” it isindeed deep andbroad subjectas such a such a rich topic. With defines adequately no universalconceptthat to woman,andthere is can varygreatly from woman The motherhoodjourney trials, andexperiences. mothers are portrayed that isdeepandwide, otherhood isatopic Sooften,when

beautiful anddifficult glory. motherhood inallits tells thefullstoryof honestly andcompletely powerful and genuineimagerythat with filled be to authenticity isbegging visual representation and of lack would instore. This realities ofwhatmotherhood truly unprepared forthe their newrole, asthey were culture-shock reaction to to motherhaveanalmost the transitionfrom maiden many womenwhomake importance insociety. as tominimizetheir characterized withsatire they are stereotyped and visually visually It isforthisreason that or artisticallytoday,

Motherhood Story Project 011 Motherhood Story Project 012 of wor this voidanddeliveraset project hopestoimpact itself, creating agenuinely subject todirect thework stories, andtoallowthe capture peopleandtheir showcasing howtotruly community asasource for hopefully impacttheart art world.Thisworkwill that infiltratethemodern down thestereotypes motherhood andhelp break in society to observe true make thatstepintheirlives. those whoare preparing to as enlightenandencourage motherhood journey, aswell and affirm thosemaking the It willalsoallowthose With thisinmind, k thatcaninspire are some oftheeffects defined bysociety?What ways inwhich“mother”is be amother?Whatare the further inchaptertwo: questions willbediscussed answered. Thesefollowing arise anddeservetobe questions thatcontinueto mother, there are several transition from maiden to women whohavemadethe testimonies of other experience, andfrom Both from mypersonal representation insociety. motherhood andits that arisewhendiscussing representation oftheperson. pure andauthenticvisual What doesitmeanto There are manyquestions two willprovide more place duringmotherhood? the changes that may take women themselves,handle How doessociety, andthe culture) viewmotherhood? society (especiallywestern woman’s life?Howdoes from otheraspects of a is motherhooddifferent discussed openly?How motherhood thatare not What are someaspects of already been captured? ways motherhoodhas artistically? Whatare the motherhood be captured changes inwomenduring on awoman?Howcanthe emotionally, and physically motherhood has mentally, As mentioned,chapter

on truemotherhood. as ameanstoshedlight photography canbeused view themselves,andhow mothers, howmothers learn howsocietyviews project, andthereader will dealt withregarding this will bediscussedand these andotherissues applicable tothissubject. will bediscussedthatare and current artisticworks topic willbeexplored research regarding this with thesequestions, of thisproject. Along arose duringthemaking and otherquestionsthat in-depth analysisofthese In thefollowingchapters, Introduction

Motherhood Story Project 013 Motherhood Story Project 014 Chapter Two:Research N topics ofmotherhood,andwill works availableonthechosen the current textsandartistic paper willexaminesomeof the followingsectionsthis knowledge andcreativity. In builds onthefoundationof creating scholarlywork that itself, andisimperativefor comprehension ofthetopic It alsoallowsforabetter still needstobeunderstood. currently available,and what better understandwhatis Research enablesanartist to in preparation forthisproject. works thatwere investigated examine someofthemany chapter ofthisthesiswill from research, andthis work canbedoneapart o academic or authentic development oftheproject. is crucial for the overall clarity andconsistency reliable source thatprovides various terms,sohavinga a multitudeofdefinitionsfor process. There canoftenbe informing theentire thesis the readers, but also for information notonlyto in providing correct and definitionsiscrucial Having accurateterms always vitallyimportant. standing oftermsis scholarly work,anunder- When dealingwithany Defining Motherhood the previous chapter. research questionsoutlinedin help address someofthe key

Motherhood Story Project 015 Motherhood Story Project 016 about theairwebreathe, the states that,“We knowmore A quotefrom Adrienne Rich culture) viewmotherhood?” society (especiallywestern as thequestion,“Howdoes As well society? by defined ways in which “mother” is mother, and what are the what doesitmeantobea questions mentionedabove: to answertwooftheresearch in thisthesis.Thisalsohelps clarify keytermsthatare used that helpedtoidentifyand began withutilizingworks For thisreason, research We knowmore airwebreathe, aboutthe the seas we travel, than about the nature aboutthe seas wetravel,than and meaning ofmotherhood. information. Itisexcellent reference when researching and projects, andisusefulfor motherhood related articles references andsources of O’Reilly includesseveral Motherhood byAndrea the work,Encyclopediaof it meantobeamother,” the question,“whatdoes body ofwork. necessity for this thesis and alone helps to illustrate the motherhood.” Thisstatement the nature andmeaningof seas wetravel,thanabout Specifically, when answering makes a woman nurturing, makes awomannurturing, of becomingamotherthat istheexperience “It beings. become caringandnurturing It isthiswaythatwomen what creates amother. and caringforchildren are that thebearing,raising, of maternalismimplies (713) Theexperientialaspect socialized, andbiological. variations are experiential, (O’Reilly, 713)Thesethree and initsapplications.” philosophical underpinnings both initslogicaland variations ofmaternalism, to O’Reilly, “there are several motherhood topic.According other articlesrelated to the key define terms, as well as resource to helping for to becomemothers,andas women havethepotential And lastly, biologically, as own children. (O’Reilly, 713) and nurturingbeyondtheir those valuesofprotection more investedinpromoting and as a result become others, andsupporting committed toprotecting to becomingengagedand mothers whoare committed and nurture otherscreates on thepracticalwaystoprotect act of“mothering”andfocus for mothers.(O’Reilly, 713)This and through theiradmiration intentions ofbecomingmothers ideology through their women canrelate to this Socially, notes. however, other caring, andpeaceful”O’Reilly Research

Motherhood Story Project 017 Motherhood Story Project 018 woman whocallsherselfa in this project, as each is importanttounderstand their culturalsetting.This based ontheindividualand forms, and can vary greatly it takes many shapes and of “motherhood,”butthat singular definitiveblueprint understand thatthere is no This statementhelpsusto facts,” (715)O’Reillywrites. traditions, andhistorical social experiences,cultural on acomplexwebof like all ideologies, is based ideology ofmaternalism, mothers. (O’Reilly, 713)“The women as mothersandpotential unifies potentiality to becomeso,biological society oftenexpectswomen social experiences, cultural traditions, and traditions, social experiences, cultural ideologies, isbased onacomplexwebof The ideology of maternalism, like all all like The ideologyofmaternalism, historical facts. answer thequestion,“what stereotypes. Thishelpsto the variousmotherhood somewhat comicalviewat motherhood, andtakesa vernacular usedtowards some ofthemore common by L.J.Charlestonaddresses writing, meaning ofmotherhood. understanding tothetrue in placethathelptogive text, there are manyfactors but aswecanseefrom this straightforward concept, glance appeartobea maternalism mayatfirst- Defining motherhoodand it meanstobeamother. and perspectiveonwhat mother hasauniquestory In additiontoO’Reilly’s h Mmy Mafia Mommy The Research

Motherhood Story Project 019 Motherhood Story Project 020 types of“moms”insociety. look atthemanydifferent view, butmore of ahumorous does nottakeatechnical society andculture. Thiswork buzz- the words orslangtermsin define to helps an “urbandictionary,” which This work couldbeconsidered definitions. and ideals motherhood andmore kitsch the modernculturalviewson work, Charlestonlooksat this In society?” by defined is are thewaysinwhich‘mother’ motherhood, mothers themselves are themselves mothers motherhood, their society at large, but inside the worldof society atlarge,butinsidethe Not onlyare stereotyped mothers by own worstjudgesandcritics. mothers themselvesare the worldofmotherhood, society at large, but inside mothers stereotyped by are only of mothers.Not between thevarioustypes motherhood politicsatplay experience onthecomplex observations from personal Charleston makesseveral the introduction toherwork, different motheringstyles.In provide agoodoverview of motherhood are brief, but The varioussummariesof only issheaccostedbyother types andbackgrounds. Not with mothersofvarious visit toa waiting room filled everywhere, assherecalls a all-too-familiar tomothers She paintsascenariothatis her child.(Charleston,xi) chooses tobirthandraise various waysinwhichshe child’s milestones”orthe frequently measured byher where a woman’s worth is difficult toimagineaworld that, “pre-motherhood, itis critics. Charlestonnotes their ownworstjudgesand world where awoman’s is frequently worth Pre-motherhood, itisdifficult toimaginea measured byherchild’s milestones. “Work From HomeMom” According toCharleston,the “Over-Achiever Mom.”(11) “Homeschool Mom,”(21)and Mom,” (Charleston,15) are “Work From Home mothers thatsheexamines and motherlydisposition. mothers, butherownquirks examines othertypesof ways. Theauthornotonly particular (orstereotypical) to varioussituationsinvery number ofwomenwhoreact technique, butsheviewsa mothers onherparenting Some ofthetypes Research

Motherhood Story Project 021 who appearstobeable known asbeingasupermom The “Over-Achiever Mom”is than good.(Charleston,21) children cancausemore harm socialization withother teach her children, and that only personequippedto as consideringherselfthe School Mom”isstereotyped (Charleston, 15)The“Home the duration of the day. as bothpullatherduring work ortomotherhood, to fullydedicateherself 15) She alsofeelsunable at homemom.(Charleston, has thestress ofbeinga stay the stress ofwork,butshe also there. Notonlydoesshe have toughest ofallthemomsout considers herself to haveitthe category andnotseenasan their by defined be often can being described.Mothers is that stereotype the fit do how somewomenactually and categories, specific into often stereotype mothers society andfellowmothers This workhighlightshow the surface. (Charleston,11) issue no one cansee on life, orhasanunderlying that sheisn’t enjoying she mayinfactbesostressed handling everythingperfectly, appear this super mom is notes that though it may (Charleston, 11)Charleston her kids,butherselfaswell. tasks andactivitiesfornotonly juggle an enormous amount of do everythingperfectlyand Research

Motherhood Story Project 023 Motherhood Story Project 024 inspiration as an artist, and within the work that cause There are severalquotes viewed themovertheyears. how varioussocietieshave views onmotherhoodand highlights onhistorical Alvarez González provides Motherhood by Marta Finally, most insociety. a certaintypeofpersonby is automaticallylabeledas homeschool herchild,she a mothersaysshewantsto fellow mothers.Likewise,if upon herfrom society and presumptions are implied from home,amultitude of If amothersayssheworks or stories. qualities specific individual withuniqueand lives, asourcelives, ofcomfortand reassurance of intimes A mother’s weoften countoninour loveisonethat trouble, toinour lives. ananchortowhichwecling The Art of in a spontaneous and entirely sounds –mamadeveloped family circle.”(7) “Theresulting when itisusedwithinthe important, more affectionate, to pronounce, andmost into a different term, easier is inevitablytransformed language, theword ‘mother’ it isnotedthat,“whateverthe as well.InGonzález’s writings inspiration forthisthesiswork be examinedforpotential are somethingthat will The historicalartelements in themoderncontext. discussion ofanyconcept historical ties are vital inthe history, sosomeaspectof work istheculminationof my photography. Anymodern which have inspired some of and unquestioningsupport; to altruismandunderstanding self-sacrifice and forgiveness array ofvalues,from mercy and as synonymouswithadiverse as thewellspringoflifebutalso mother isoftenseennotonly imagination ofsociety, the care.”(González, 7) the source offoodand daily of attentionandcontact, long remain theprimary focus the onepersonwhowould need tocommunicatewith natural way to fulfill an infant’s Additionally, inthecollective the beginningand the end ofeverylove. A mother’s loveis universally understoodacross that makes“amother’s love” Groddeck. It is this sentiment love,” wrote Georg Walter beginning andendofevery “A mother’s loveisthe that weasasocietyexpect. this innatemotherlyinstinct do notnecessarilyportray their children ormothers who mothers whomayabandon we are often dismayed by 8) Itisforthisreason that cling toinourlives.(González, trouble, ananchortowhich we and reassurance intimes of lives, a source of comfort we oftencountoninour mother’s loveisonethat of oneself.Additionally, a wishes to a total commitment from renunciation ofone’s own Research

Motherhood Story Project 025 Motherhood Story Project 026 into thedeepwatersofthis works willbeusedthatdive of motherhooditself,several understanding theconcept this project thatpertains to For theresearch portionof Discussed Motherhood children.” (González,84) they givebirthtoitintheir think ofthefuture –because as saying,“Onlymotherscan when itquotesMaximGorky implications for thefuture motherhood, butalsohas historical understandingof only highlightssomeofthe This writingbyGonzáleznot a varietyofcircumstances. What a woman gives birth toin hermindisnota What awomangivesbirth new human being, but a new identity: the sense the new humanbeing,butaidentity: of beingamother. Daniel N.SternandNadia Changes You Forever by the MotherhoodExperience place duringmotherhood?” the changesthatmaytake women themselves,handle “How doessociety, andthe will beaddressed. Aswell as, one questioninparticularthat physically onawoman?”is has mentally, emotionally, and of theeffects motherhood this section. “What are some using theworksdiscussedin questions canbeanswered multifaceted topic.Several various aspectsofthis subject andexaminethe The BirthofaMother:How Research

Motherhood Story Project 027 Motherhood Story Project 028 that thecareer maygoon needs of the child, knowing specific the understanding which istheprocess of when themotheradapts, ek affirmation. seek another life,andbeginsto gains responsibility for to ensure thebaby’s survival, born, whenthemotherhas time whenthemotheris pregnancy. Secondly, the and thetransitionduring which includespregnancy, preparing tobeamother, process ofmotherhood. First, the three majorstepsin the Bruschweiler-Stern, examines This motherhood mindset is not born at the atthe mindsetisnotborn This motherhood moment the babygives itsfirstcry.moment the And lastly, aspects ofbecoming a physiological and practical many worksrelated tothe author notesthatthere are a mother.” (Stern,3)The identity: thesenseofbeing human being,butanew to inhermindisnotanew “What awomangivesbirth physically.” (Stern,3) much asherbabyisborn be bornpsychologically a sense,motherhasto the authorstatesthat,“In introduction toherwork, the husband/father. Inthe new relationship between hold, andadjustingtothe interesting elementof work alsohighlights an to motherhood.This women from maidenhood transition thattakesplacein helps toshedlightonthe after theirchildisborn,and that takesplaceformothers to highlightingthetransition work isagreat contribution of thebaby.” (Stern,4)This and followtheactualbirth many monthsthatprecede the cumulativeworkof gradually emerges from first cry,” Stern writes, “but moment the baby givesits mindset isnotbornatthe (Stern, 3)“Thismotherhood identity aftermotherhood. the development of a new mother, butfarlessabout and all-consuming emotions... butscarcely emotions... and all-consuming knowhow that every day they are everydaythey that new experiencingpowerfully My sense is that individual mothers know intuitively knowintuitively mothers individual My senseisthat to explain it to themselves, muchlessto another.to explain ittothemselves, My sense is thatindividual going through theprocess. is describedby mothers world, thattheexperience exploring amother’s inner in find I rarely how by but not onlybythissilence, 17) “Ihavebeenstartled of childbearing.(Stern, more “problematic area” politics, ratherthanthe the workplace,sportsand its attentioninsteadon this movementfocused of motherhood,butthat inner workingsandworld the waytoexamining that feminismwouldlead might havebeenexpected that inthepast30years,it at large. Theauthornotes motherhood andsociety Research

Motherhood Story Project 029 Motherhood Story Project 030 to explain life –butscarcely know how for andnurture a new driving needtocare aching protectiveness, emotions –fierce love, new andall-consuming experiencing powerfully that everydaytheyare mothers knowintuitively 18) much lesstoanother.” (Stern, hopes toshedlightupon. this purposethatwork no punintended,andfor that thisproject wasbirthed, project. Itisforthisreason have takenpartinthisthesis the livesofwomenthat motherhood, as well as in through manystories of can befoundresonating This statementbyStern

it tothemselves, a

motherhood isoneofthemost this keyaspect:thefactthat Ann Crittendenwriteson World isStill theLeastValued, Most Important Job in the of Motherhood:WhyThe (Crittenden, 12)InThePrice is viewedasimmaterial. contribution tosocietyand still considered alesser this actof service isoften to another, (Crittenden,12) regards to their selfless service individuals insociety some of the most important mothers are deemed as Even thoughinmanycases, to beamotherwasexamined. association ofwhatitmeans another elementofsocietal of thisaspectmotherhood, Along withtheillumination Research

Motherhood Story Project 031 Motherhood Story Project 032 on apersonalexperience day?’” Theauthorremarks home: ‘Whatdotheyall asked aboutmothersat disdainful questionfrequently with ‘doingnothing.’Thusthe capabilities isoftenequated and developing his or her making ahome for achild as awhole.“Thejobof motherhood impactssociety and howtheinstitutionof society aftermotherhood, at howwomenare viewed by upon. Theauthortakesalook and sometimeslookeddown today, butisstillundervalued important elementsofsociety developing his or her capabilities isoften developing hisorhercapabilities The jobofmakingahomeforchildand equated with ‘doing nothing.’ equated with couples we know, you’re the commented that‘ofallthe a childlessfemalefriend Over drinksthatevening, on afuture bookproject. errands, and put in an hour run severalmiscellaneous reading group atthelibrary, and escortedmysontoa an op-edpiece,pickedup shower, paid the bills, finished with aplumberaboutleaky off tonurseryschool, dealt my sondressed andfed and a dayinwhichIhadgotten forget adinnerattheend of never to whenshesays,“I’ll that manymotherscanrelate children may be the most become ahandicap.Raising is notjustinvisible;itcan future. Buta“mother’s work no children, andtherefore no Otherwise, wewouldhave continue, mothersmustexist. generation. Forsocietyto nurture herchildren: thefuture works tirelessly tocare and heart of every woman who that surely resonates at the is anall-to-familiarstatement situations formothers,and (or felt)inanumberof This sentimentcanbeheard only wife who doesn’t work.’” Raising children most maybethe important job in the world,but important jobinthe you can’t putitonarésumé.

disabled, chronically illchild. years ofcaringforher not mention herthirteen went jobhuntingsheshould repeatedly thatwhen she education wasadvised master’s degree inspecial Island, NewYork, witha is issue: “Awomanfrom Long specifically particularly relevant to this story One uses toillustrateherpoint. several storiesthattheauthor sentiment isreinforced by résumé.” (Crittenden,13) This but youcan’t putit on a important jobintheworld, Research

Motherhood Story Project 033 Motherhood Story Project 034 and tellingcapturing landscape ofmotherhood, Stories like these litter the with adisabledperson. knowledge on how to deal would beseenasexcellent résumé, asthatexperience encouraged toaddither child, shewouldhavebeen family caringforadisabled had workedforadifferent that ifsamewoman It’s importanttonotehere, writing.” (Crittenden,14) work andoccasionalfreelance descriptions ofvolunteer better padherrésumé with She waswarnedthatshehad best, considered irrelevant. be heldagainstheror, at tenacity andresilience would All thoseyearsofcourageous to insteadexpandonwhatis has already beendone, but work tomerely repeat what It isnottheintentionofthis has already beencaptured?” are thewaysmotherhood to answerthequestion,“What greatest moments.This helps some ofmotherhood’s is uniqueandtrulycaptures and creating aproject that in thephotographicworld, available onmotherhood investigating workalready this research process is An importantelementto CapturedMotherhood thesis aimstoaccomplish. of motherhoodiswhatthis highlighting theimportance these typesofstoriesand Research

Motherhood Story Project 035 Motherhood Story Project 036 who struggledwithbody and postpartum.Asawoman experience withpregnancy largely birthedduringherown inspiration for this work was The authorwritesthather this timeinamother’s life. capturing theauthenticityof is stillagoodreference for aspect ofmotherhood,it intimate lookatthenurturing work takesamore raw and inside itspages.Althoughthis of thestorieswomen motherhood andtellssome work thattakesalookat Jade Beallisaphotographic A BeautifulBodyProject by is currently attainable. the wealthofinformationthat already availableandadd to The BodiesofMothers: You are magnificent,’Iwhispered tomyself. ‘You just made andpushedabrandnew human into this world.Iloveyou.’ human intothis and wassooncloudedby self-appreciate didnotlast, continues, thisfeelingof you.’” (Beall,4)Butas Beall human intothis world. Ilove and pushed a brand new to myself.‘You justmade I whispered magnificent,’ are a completelyforeign act. ‘You to me because loving itwas which was nearly a stranger caressed thisprecious body and criedwhilemyhands but euphoricwobblylegs “I stoodonmyexhausted her bodyhadaccomplished. as shemarveledatthework from self-hate,toself-love, of selfdrasticallychanged hours afterdelivery, herview few first the in that marveled image her entire life, she bodies. Similarly, thisthesis understand thebeautyoftheir so helpedthoseparticipants work complete, and in doing free ofcharge tohelpmakeher She photographedvolunteers bodies ofmotherswasborn. of anentire workbasedon the pregnancy body, andthestart a self-portraitofherpost- that Bealldecidestotake my son.”(Beall,5)Itisthen be present withmyself and weight cloudedmyabilityto my obsessionwithlosing set in much toosoon and not. Postpartumdepression days, weeks,months,butitdid subsequent those in flourish self-love wouldcontinueto wish I could saythatnewfound postpartum depression. “I new motherstandsinfront of this workwhenshesays,“A her inspirationforcreating today’s society. McCainnotes is soimportantandlackingin the womenissomethingthat captures theauthenticityof the authorandphotographer McCain. Thewayinwhich Motherhood byNatalie Portraits ofWomen & Real StoriesandUntouched is project inasimilarmanner writing thathasimpactedthis their ownselvesaswell. work toappreciate andaccept encourage viewersofthis of their baby bodies, andto to understandthebeauty hopes toallowparticipants Another photographic The Honest Body Project: Research

Motherhood Story Project 037 Motherhood Story Project 038 body was capable of. She She ismarvelingatwhather time withadifferent heart. staring inthemirror, yetthis imagine thissamewoman, of howshelooks…Now that sheshouldbeashamed done, wehaveconvincedher celebrating whatherbodyhas At a time when she should be herself. fix to needs she that back’ from her pregnancy – told hersheneedsto‘bounce been through. Society has all thechangesherbodyhas recognize thiswoman and expanded belly. Shedoesn’t now bears the marksof her her. Heronce-smoothskin that isnolongerfamiliarto figure a at staring newborn, the mirror intearsholding her She wipeshertears, hugsherbaby, andshe realizes sheistrulybeautiful. that home from thehospital mothers whentheyreturn and isoftenanissuefornew that thisthesisdiscusses, of thestoriesmotherhood place. This can be seen in many the changesthathavetaken “fixing” to time her dedicate woman feelasifsheshould frowned upon,andmake a a woman’s bodyare often effects ofmotherhood on 11) Intoday’s society, the truly beautiful.”(McCain, and sherealizes thatshe is her tears,hugsbaby, nine months.Shewipes child wasnourishedfor at hersoftbelly, where her grew herchild.Shesmiles a beautifulsignthatshe sees herstr etch marksas . Research

Motherhood Story Project 039 Motherhood Story Project 040 views. “Likephotography photography canimpactthose motherhood andhow cultural associationsof informational ondiscussing look atmotherhood,butis Her worktakesamore abstract mothers are viewedbysociety. are examined,aswell as how body, andfemaleidentity domesticity, thematernal The changingconditionsof their depictionsofmothers. at severalphotographersand by SusanBrighttakesalook Photography andMotherhood Likewise, subject and medium grapplefornewmeanings. subject andmedium Like photography itself, the expectations and expectations the Like photographyitself, demands of motherhood aredemands ofmotherhood influx;both Home Truths:

ramifications of becoming a becoming of ramifications discusses some of the social Bright considered. be briefly of motherhoodthatshould today’s society, itisanaspect element ofmotherhoodin not intendtofocusonthis roles. While this thesis does motherhood andgender the socialconstructsof Bright focusesonhighlighting her bookandtravelinggallery, meanings,” saysBright.(8)In medium grapplefornew and subject both flux; in are demands ofmotherhood itself, theexpectationsand and witch-hunts,mandatory been the subject of taboos feared andrevered. Shehas a child,themotherhas been awesome abilitytospewforth of years, because of her societies, “Forthousands has beenseenbychanging years the form of “mother” to express howthrough the work byShariL Thurer helps particular thatstoodoutinher in theimagery. Onequotein motherhood of defining the the culture ofthedayimpacts present, andexamines how nineteenth centurytothe of motherhoodfrom the the historyofphotographs and motherhood.Shetraces her lifebetweenmaidenhood mother, and how it impacts chivalry and idealization. Throughchivalry andidealization. she hasrarely itall She has also been the subject of glorious painting, subjectofgloriouspainting, She hasalsobeen the been consulted. Sheisanobject,nota subject. been consulted. has meanttothem. express whatmotherhood alone are trulyabletofully is vitaltothisproject, asthey that truly reflect who they are mothers tocreate images narrative. Working withthe and storiestopainttheir and usingtheirownwords real-life women in this thesis, the importanceofincluding sentiment helpstoexpress not asubject.”(Bright,8)This consulted. Sheisanobject, it allshehasrarely been and idealization.Through of gloriouspainting,chivalry She has alsobeenthesubject perpetual marginalization. endured appallinginsults and in aseparatesphere. She has pregnancy andconferment Research

Motherhood Story Project 041 Motherhood Story Project 042 her offspring’s childhood. her lifetransitionedthrough become a mother, and how captures whatitwasliketo her motherhoodstory. She into journey her of reflection herself, andisapersonal images wastakenbytheauthor This collectionof journey. to capturinghermotherhood more journalisticapproach author and artist takes a Carucci. In this work, the essay, is motherhood photographic to adifferent takeonthe I felt and saw so much in those first months – the beauty – firstmonths andsawsomuchinthose I felt and ugliness, the tearsandlaughter, the and ugliness, extremes the you Another work that will speak speak Another work that will come toknowwhenyou’re anewparent. Mother by Elinor

all through mycamera,hoping tried somehowtodealwithit when you’re anewparent. I extremes you come to know the tearsandlaughter, the the beautyandugliness, much in those first months– says, “I feltandsawso behind her work when she Carucci explainsthepremise motherhood photography. from the normalexpectationsof out stands definitely motherhood artwork,and not often seen in today’s of herworkare something The raw, authentic elements Research

Motherhood Story Project 043 Motherhood Story Project 044 new experiencesneverbefore day brings new adventures and that follow birth fly by and each mother. Theweeksandmonths statement iswellknowntoany and meaningbehindthis show.” (Carucci, 6)Theemotion was somuchmore totelland to that kindofphoto,butthere with mybabies,andIdidtake magical, peacefulmoments It’s notthatIdidn’t havethose ‘Madonna andchild’images. rich, toexpress onlythrough could. Itwastoointense, motherhood ashonestlyI to portraythecomplexityof I tried somehow to deal with it all through itall I triedsomehowtodealwith my camera, hoping to portray the complexityof camera, hopingtoportraythe motherhood as honestly asIcould. ashonestly motherhood that isseenhere. impart thatdepthandemotion personal asCarucci’s theystill work are notasintimateand Although theimagesinthis genuineness ofmotherhood. doesn’t try to sugar-coat the authentic photographythat thesis opensthedoortoraw, Similarly to this work, this shared bymanymothers. captured inherworkcanbe the emotionsandmoments Carucci doesinthiswork,but their motherhoodstorylike have the ability to capture explored. Manymothersdon’t disorder asateenager, and struggled withaneating Loomis statesthat,“Having the introduction toherwork, body theyonceknew. In than theirpre-pregnancy though itmaybedifferent motherhood form,even are infactbeautiful their women can see how they the useofphotography, bodies change,andthrough of women,buthowthey’re not onlydiscussesthestories mother’s story. Her work simplicity to help tell each monochromatic editing and motherhood form,andusing portraiturestudio look at the Jennifer Loomis takesa The BirthofaMotherby Portraits ofPregnancy: photography could help women see their photography could helpwomenseetheir bodies inanewway–asbeautiful. bodies I begantorealize pregnancy that thing, ‘You mademe feel so the more Iheard thesame more womenIphotographed, for the rest of their lives. The to seetheiruniquebeauty they wouldbeable to continue they were pregnant, nodoubt they couldfeelthatwaywhen in a new way – as beautiful. If help womenseetheirbodies pregnancy photographycould curves. Ibegantorealize that struggling withtheirnew who cameintomystudio of compassion for the women to truly see yourself. I had a lot experience, ifyouallowtime both aterrifyingandliberating body, foranyreason, canbe how losing control of your was twenty-one,Iunderstood I it when overcoming finally Research

Motherhood Story Project 045 Motherhood Story Project 046 motherhood figure. Powerful figure. motherhood beauty andvalueof their new mothers torecognize the for womenwhohavebecome provide asource ofinspiration this thesiswasstarted,to is partlyforthisreason that for newmothersespecially. It appearance isagreat resource thoughts regarding physical to counterthosenegative and tohaveatangibleway over theirphysicalfeatures, women tobecameobsessed accomplishing. It’s easyfor their bodieswere capableof bods” and to appreciate what the beautyintheirnew“mom role inhelpingwomento see photography toplayamajor work highlightstheabilityfor beautiful.’” (Loomis, 13) This photographs can be used to and participant-produced explore how‘photovoice’ this qualitativestudyisto of aim for thisarticle,“The As explainedintheabstract transition ofmotherhood. was affected during the and how their body image of several women in Australia, narratives andphotographs This articleexaminesthe storytelling inthiscontext. understanding theprocess of by Meredith Nashisuseful in Image inPregnancy,” anarticle A PhotovoiceStudyofBody dealing withtheirnewselves. women can find a resource for storytelling isonewayinwhich imagery, coupledwithunique Likewise, “Picturing Mothers: Likewise, “PicturingMothers: Research

Motherhood Story Project 047 Motherhood Story Project 048 has ofone’s self. view thatanindividual can helpshapethemental photography inanyform a good example of how produced photographs, it’s article utilizesparticipant- (Nash, 242)Whilethis and thosepost-pregnancy. those whoare pregnant, self andisbeneficialforboth way ofconceptualizingthe photographic imageisacore of theirnewforms.The women intheunderstanding resource forassisting how photography is a viable This articlehelpstoexplain embodiment.” (Nash, 242) think criticallyaboutpregnant A woman is beautiful just the way she justthe Awomanisbeautiful is. Shedoesn’t need toaspire tobe somebody else.

by CaitlinDomanicoand of Women and Their Families How toDocumenttheLives Photographing Motherhood: pregnant ornursing,includes, particularly thosewhomaybe to capture the female form, better understanding of how One oftheworksIusedfora be captured artistically?” women duringmotherhood “How canthechangesin helps answerthequestion, work esthetically, butalso hs o ol bnft th benefits only not This regarding this specific topic. and technicalinformation photographic guidance obtaining resources for to Another importantelement Photographic Guides this thesisproject was e

technical abilityonetostudy this project. Not only istheir useful forthedevelopmentof so theirexperienceisvery in motherhoodphotography, work haveextensiveportfolios photographers whowrote the birth, andcare-giving. The like pregnancy, nursing, of motherhoodelements book focusesonthecapturing photography guidebooks,this the subjects.Unlikeother capturing theemotionof photography techniquesfor composition, andother various lighting,posing, Jade Beall.Thisworkteaches themselves andtomakesarttogether.themselves I have dedicated myself toempower myself Ihavededicated women tofeelamazingabout together.” (Beall,5.)Thisis themselves andtomakesart women tofeelamazingabout dedicated myselftoempower pushing it.”(Beall,5.)“Ihave to stop.I’mgoingkeep people, butI’mnevergoing be somebodyelse…Itupsets She doesn’t needtoaspire to beautiful justthe way she is. Beall notesthat,“awomanis in theirphotography. Jade not create afalsenarrative nature ofmotherhood, and to capture thegenuine their workisunique:striving but theirintentionbehind for motherhoodportraiture, Research

Motherhood Story Project 049 Motherhood Story Project 050 “lifestyle” anddocumentary While herstyleismore for familiesandmothers. meaningful photography techniques forcapturing examines thevarious a photographerherself, Wilkerson. Theauthor, and FamilyLifebySarah Finding BeautyinEveryday Photographers Guideto the Moment:Modern process willbeCapture be helpfulininformingthis their imagery. are wellrepresented in ensuring thatthemothers authentic anduniqueway, it captures mothers in an also hopestoexemplifyas a sentimentthatthisthesis Another workwhichwill

and others. memories forourfuture selves visual representations ofour our abilityasartiststocollect and preserve them, aswell as capture briefmomentsoftime the power of photography to beauty. Wilkersondiscusses by storytellingandnatural that isheavilysupported documentary photography between posedand Her workstrikesabalance and lowlightphotography. composition, storytelling, for educationonlighting, Wilkerson notes.(2) moods andemotions,” in theframetoconveyour to transformtheelements “We become empowered in nature, it’s agoodresource (Wilkerson, 2.)

Research

Motherhood Story Project 051 Motherhood Story Project 052 come inallshapes,sizes,and sheds lightonthis.“Women to photography, andthiswork method one-size-fits-all no is images ofthisgender. There excellent photographic research source forcreating beneficial a is and women, of for capturingthetruebeauty examines thebestpractices and contextsthisbook the appropriatelighting best captured when using and personalitiesthatare Women haveuniquef Photography byJeff Rojas. for Portrait andFashion and ShootingTechniques Women: Posing,Lighting, process isPhotographing will informthe photographic Finally, onelastworkthat each womanisunique inherownway. Women shapes,sizes,and comeinall colors. Although they’recolors. Although equal, all eatures and authenticway. motherhood inaveryreal in its approach to capturing this thesistobeminimalistic Likewise, itistheintentionof photographic techniques. lost intheminutiaofcomplex the subject,andnottobe the viewertocontentof minimalism helpstorefocus (Rojas, 7)Thismindsetof is thoroughly underrated.” and Ibelievethatsimplicity extremely importantto me, states that,“minimalismis Rojas photography. final the that thisproject willechoin make acaseforminimalism The authordoes,however, in herownway.” (Rojas,10) equal, eachwomanisunique colors. Althoughthey’re all

miscarriage, infertility, post- Such elementsinclude, too personalforconversation. from discourseorconsidered topics are oftenrepressed mothers themselves,certain In society, andevenamong are notdiscussedopenly?” aspects ofmotherhoodthat question, “Whatare some it willhelptoanswerthe the womenbehindthem, highlighting real stories and essence ofmotherhood.By stories totrulycapture the with real lives,and real and features real women, the subjectofmotherhood, of real-life storiesinvolving includes multipleelements With that said, this thesis Real Stories be inherfuture, eventhough knowing thatchildbirthwill she spendsherwholelife mother. Shediscusseshow of awomanwhobecame see intotheintimatethoughts emotion, andletsthereader very authenticandrawinits motherhood. Thiswritingis challenges andchangesof one woman dealt with the a personallookathow point ofview, andprovides is writtenfrom theauthor’s A MotherbyRachelCusk them inaphotographicthesis. tell thesestories,anduse how toproperly record understanding and in beneficial more. Thefollowingworks are partum depression, and A Life’s Work: OnBecoming Research

Motherhood Story Project 053 Motherhood Story Project 054 it.” What shesoon discovers envelopes thatwillexplain is handed out in sealed confidential information preparation occurs,inwhich and specializedprocess of place inwhichsomesecret I have imagined it to be a on behind its high walls… I havewondered what goes walked past it many times. have I like from theoutside. about it,whichiswhatitlooks only whateverybodyknows “I knowaboutpregnancy meditated butnotinformed.” her “arrivalinthiscampis later inlife, she notesthat she doesbecomepregnant thought inhermind.When to haveachildisnoteven the conceptofnotbeingable everybody knows aboutit,which is I knowaboutpregnancy only what what it looks like fromwhat itlookslike outside. the of manytheaspects includes thedailyplay-by-play or autobiographies,thiswork Unlike otherpersonalworks mental storyforthereader. creating acompletevisual almost day-by-daymanner, tells herreal-life story in an a novelinthattheauthor writing that almost reads like Sharon Tjaden-Glass is a A Journey of Identity by Likewise, for thefirsttime. who experiencepregnancy be seenformanywomen largely onherown.This can and whatitallmeansforher to discoverwhatitentails motherhood, andsheisleft answer topregnancy or is thatthere isnosecret Becoming Mother: Research

Motherhood Story Project 055 Motherhood Story Project 056 the mentalandemotional They don’t typicallyexplore advice endssoonafterbirth. – andtheirknowledge “focus onthephysicalchanges many writingsonpregnancy her life.Theauthornotesthat creates averyintimatelook at unique lookatherstoryand thoughts andstruggles.It’s a well as the author’s personal had withfriendsandfamily, as see theconversationsshe author’s pregnancy. We can a metamorphosis–from “Becoming a mother is is alsopretty extraordinary?” story ofbecomingamother what ifItoldyouthatatypical of newmotherhood…And you are hitbythetidalwave wreckage leftbehind after

way torelay theemotions eyes ofanother, isagreat motherhood through the This conceptofexperiencing first moments of motherhood. woman journeyedthrough the understanding of how one giving thereader anauthentic are personalandintrospective, reflections Her motherhood. observations shehasmadeof each phase,aswellother changes inheridentityduring on howsheexperiencedthe reflects she section each of year. Afterthecompletion the first and weeks, first the feeding, days, first the birth, sections: pregnancy, labor and writes hermemoirinseveral and baby.” Tjaden-Glass individual womantomother beautiful intheendifweallow reveals howscarscanmakeus The main heart of the work or inourmindsyearslater. of the change on our bodies and weoftenstillholdthescars can drasticallychangeourlife, external (orinternal)factors of theworkdiscusseshow some bad. The emphasis Some goodrepercussions, experienced intheirlives. the various scarsthey’ve women whoopenupabout includes thestoriesofseveral Stories by Veronica Farmer by Scars:RealWomen’s also hopestoaccomplish. something thatthisthesis a mother, whichis and feelingsofbecoming n finally, And be more, and give more world around tothe These woundscan teachushowtolovemore, us. It is the journey of a life richlylived. ofa life journey us. Itisthe Made Beautiful circumstances. value despitetheirparticular and realizing theirbeautyand story ofovercoming obstacles Each womaninthisworktellsa to emotionalroller-coasters. kinds from physical ailments experienced scarsofother but alsothosewhohave pregnancy andmotherhood, work encompasstheworldof lived.” Notonlydoesthis It isthejourneyofaliferichly more to the world around us. love more, bemore, andgive wounds canteachushowto grief, loss,anddisease.These our life’s journey, alongwith is onemanyofusexplore in “The scar ofabroken heart ourselves toembracethem. Research

Motherhood Story Project 057 Motherhood Story Project 058 pregnancy andpostpartum views womenduringthe the statisticsofhowsociety needed factsanddetailsto Kill Body Image: If LooksCould life?” First,TheMediaand other aspectsofawoman’s motherhood different from the question,“Howis as their ability to answer voice ofthisthesis,aswell they provide totheoverall content andinspirationthat selected basedontheir photographic projects were also used.Theseworksand contextually relevant, were may not at first appear to be impacted thisproject, that Other worksthathave Beyond Motherhood by MaggieWykesadds motherhood canhelpto their physicalformsof healthy womenembracing then similarly, imagesof and impelself-destruction,” distort women’s self-image are culpable”and“can If “magazinefashionimages find themselves wanting.” and beautymagazines distributed inthefashion captured oncamera’ and against theidealimages ‘measure themselves images’ becausewomen powerfully fueledbymedia agreed that‘anorexia is notes that,“journalistshave a result ofthis.Theauthor eating disorders that may be to weightgain/lossand process, especiallyrelating Research

Motherhood Story Project 059 Motherhood Story Project 060 evident thatthere needed this project, itbecame images andpurposebehind topic. Whenviewingthe inspirations forthisthesis was one of the original Cindy Johnson.Thisproject Into Works of Art” by To Beauty:Turning Scars first is“From Brokenness this thesisprocess. The carefully considered during photographers willalsobe projects by individual be proud tohave. something toembraceand ashamed of,butcanbe are not something to be changes duetopregnancy thattheir bodily mothers encourage newandold Two other photographic their own(andloved ages appliedgoldpaintto Johnson’s volunteersofall gold inorder torepair it, broken pieceofpotterywith in whichtheartistfusesa Japanese artofkintsugi, the wearer. “Inspired bythe unique beautytothelifeof light andexposingtheir subjects, bringingthemto the marksandscarsonher gold painttoaccentuate absolute beauty. Sheuses those scarscanbringabout scars, andshowingthat highlighting theirphysical unique aspectofpeopleby The artisttrulycaptures a motherhood specifically. in existence regarding to besomethingsimilar Project” by photographer into theworld. forth anewhumanbeing bodies to grow and bring awe-inspiring abilityoftheir versus themajesticand and resulting aftermath, aspects oftheirpregnancies to focusonthenegative Similarly, itiseasyforwomen the more positiveelements. bodies, andtendtoignore the negativeaspectsoftheir that peopleoftenexaggerate than theyexpect,”showing scars looksmallerinphotos clients “oftenthinktheir Johnson mentionsthather regarding her project, their scars.”Inavideo ones) placesofbrokenness: Additionally, “The SCAR and hisimagesbeautifully about thehumancondition, the motherhood itself,itis within Jay’s workare farfrom in life.Althoughthetopic this thesis project, but also very important,notonlyto the ashes is an aspect that is scars can bringbeauty from they have.Capturinghow thankful fortheblessings their ownlivesandtobe spark the viewer to analyze of breast cancersurvivors real andhonestimages a storytotheviewer. His and verygenuinelyportrays of hisproject ispalpable, dramatic andrawimagery and powerofthisthesis.The inspiration fortheemotion David Jay is a large Research

Motherhood Story Project 061 Motherhood Story Project 062 this thesisprocess, aswell. results, andhowtheyinformed the surveyquestionsand section, thisthesiswillexplain use ofsurvey. Inthefollowing research done through the starting pointfortheadditional are instrumentalinproviding a imagery usedinthisthesis,and provide a foundation for the that uniteusall.” disease, illuminatingthescars itself; the images transcend the cancer, butthehumancondition SCAR Project isnotaboutbreast when hesays,“Ultimately, The mission statementofhis project capture. Jaynotesthisin the that thisthesishopes to capture thatsameemotion These works outlined above These worksoutlinedabove Research

Motherhood Story Project 063 Motherhood Story Project 064 Chapter Three: Survey A to befullydiscussed. used forthisthesishasyet of information that was examined, onemajorpiece this project havebeen and artisticsources for while anumberofwritten of motherhood.Thatsaid, understand everynuance thesis doesnotpresume to aspect ofatopic,andthis piece canfullycapture every available. Nowritingorart and empowered information order toachievethemost full needed tobeattainedin supplemental research material, andforthisreason all completenessfrom written Nothing canbefullyknownin ll art is fluid, and all and fluid, research is limited. is art ll

mothers were currently the point in timethat these survey helpedtounderstand a fewoftheanswersreceived. these questions,andhighlight paragraphs takeabrieflookat to motherhood.Thefollowing transition from maidenhood of questionsconcerningtheir fifty women were askedaseries over total, In imagery. the launchingpointfortheir work, and their stories are subjects ofmyphotographic Some ofwhomare the participate inthisproject. who wouldbewillingto from womenwere gathered published real-life stories project, newandnever-before The first question of the question first The In order tocomp lete this

Motherhood Story Project 065 Motherhood Story Project 066 more technicalaspectsof experienced regarding the mothers whattheyhave of thesurveyasked year ofmotherhood. moms, orwithintheirfirst those whoidentifiedasnew group ofwomen were one year. Thesecondlargest been amotherforatleast experienced moms,having the majorityidentifiedas the womensurveyed, were agrandmother. From (of one year or more), or an experiencedmother of becomingamother, were pregnant, in their first year motherhood, currently were planningtowards experiencing. Whetherthey The secondquestion statistic. Consideringthatso statistic. this isnearlydoublethat end inmiscarriage,but that “1-in-4”pregnancies infertility. We’re oftentold and 13%hadexperienced experienced amiscarriage, of thewomensurveyedhad 32%. More surprisingly, 40% experienced ac-sectionat a third ofthewomen had delivery, at74%,whileabout had experiencedavaginal a vast majority of women above. Notsurprisingly, issues, and none of the birth, otherbirth-related VBAC, stillbirth,pre-term c-section, vagicaldelivery, infertility, miscarriage, the listofoptionswere: becoming amother. Among are essentiallytellingmothers way tohandlethisissue.We which seems to be aterrible pregnancy, “justincase,” tell usnottoannounceour others. We had many people I wastoldbeforehand by experience, andhowlittle that accompanied lack ofunderstanding was shocked at the total in herfirstpregnancy, I also experiencedmiscarriage our culture. Assomeone who that thistopicissotabooin manner, it’s trulysurprising many pregnancies endin this this manner,this it’s topic this trulysurprisingthat somanypregnanciesConsidering that endin is sotabooinourculture. from theanswers.Thethird themes thatdeveloped questions, aswellcommon that were provided forthese more interesting responses we willdiscusssomeofthe for thesequestions.Instead, So nometricsare available their responses, asdesired. that allowmothers to writein this surveyaskopenquestions pregnancy asvaluable. instead oftreating each we knowforsure itwill last, about theirpregnancy until to holdoff onbeingexcited The remaining questions in Survey

Motherhood Story Project 067 Motherhood Story Project 068 glamorous,” and“Motherhood were doingwassafe.Notvery worrying ifwhatthechildren and settingboundaries as, “housekeeping,cooking more negativeanswerssuch But there were alsosome human more thanmyself.” children,” or“loving another “loving andtakingcare of your with positive answers such as, children, etc.Manyresponded older, someonewhohad someone whowasmature, threads inresponses regarding There were somecommons means tothem. currently it were notyetamother, what becoming a mother, or ifthey meant tothembefore mothers what“motherhood” question inthissurveyasked sexy” are commonthreads. a “housecleaner,” and“not comments regarding being woman.” Alongwiththis, being astrong career driven and “not as important as “slavery, energy-sucking” Some commonthemesare treats themandviewsthem. mothers really thinksociety we really begintosee how defines society motherhood. Thisiswhere think they survey asksthe mother’s how mothers themselvesoneday. of themanticipatedbeing of motherhood,andmost women hadgoodopinions answers, itappearsthatmost of work.”From thesurvey seemed scary, and like lots The fourthquestioninthis Survey

Motherhood Story Project 069 Motherhood Story Project 070 maybe youaren’t toosmart clearly you’re justsettling and is oftenscoffed atand that motherhood asavocation priority. It seems that seeing should beyournumberone to (American)society, career which,according and competewithyour spirit, ruinyourrelationships, will ruinyourlife,steal seems pretty convinced it to beaMombutsociety on motherhood...It’s OK woman’ seemspretty down though self-proclaimed ‘pro- when shewrote, “Society, One participantputitwell Society, self-proclaimed though ‘pro-woman’ seems pretty downonmotherhood... choose. However, thisputs other roles awomanmay given valueregardless of of amotherinthehomeare view where thecontributions talent, toamore balanced somehow atragicwasteof when thatwasconsidered the norm,through aperiod stay-at-home momsbeing have seentransitionfrom drastically inmylifetime.I of motherhoodhaschanged “Society’sdefinition says, she interesting observationwhen Another oldermommadean settle for‘just’beingaMom.” or ambitiousenoughifyou and if you’re not perfectin when you become a mother compartmentalized person pressure tobethisvery yourself up.There’s asocietal if you’re givingtoomuch of time you’re notdoingit right motherhood. Atthesame you’re nottrulyembracing up tobeamom,then completely givingyourself fully lostinmotherhood,not saying, “Ifyou’re notbeing echoed thislastthoughtby excellence.” Otherwomen things tirelessly andwith women to do allof these a great dealofpressure on Society knows that motherhood ismessy, motherhood Society knowsthat but you should keep that mess asecret.but youshouldkeepthat but youshouldkeep that motherhoodismessy, appearance. Societyknows Pinterest-perfect physical while stillmaintaininga natural mealsforherfamily her friends,andcookall- clean herhouse, go out with parent, care forherspouse, mother managestowork, is onewhere abeautifulyoung perfect picture ofmotherhood Yet anotherwrote, “Society’s doing yourchildren justice.” isn’t for you andyou’re not enough thenmotherhood you’re notcompartmentalized all ofyourcompartmentsand Survey

Motherhood Story Project 071 Motherhood Story Project 072 but alsohowmotherhood changed andpushedthem, very honestabouthowithas every answer, momswere and physically. Inalmost them mentally, emotionally, motherhood hasimpacted this oneupbyaskinghow treated bysociety. they are oftenviewed and live inperfectly, andhow roles theyare supposedto really tornbetweenall the the issue,thatmothersare really getstotheheart of turning.” Thisquestion off tokeepallthewheels while workingyourtail motherhood iseffortless up theappearancethat that messasecret--keep The fifth question follows question fifth The has mademefeellesssexy, It insecurities. and flaws my and hasshownmemore of has madememore emotional forced metoslowdownand another momwrote. “It has what ismostimportant” my perspective on life and “Motherhood haschanged coaster rideIwilleverbeon.” ride butitisthebestroller It is such a crazy roller coaster super happy and full oflove! crazy oneminutethenthenext They canmakeyoumadand all yourbuttonsjustbecause. of patienceyouhaveandpush your kidswill test everyounce You are ALWAYS onthego, emotionally, andphysically. mentally, draining definitely is “Motherhood them. fulfills is continuingtomake)mea, humility thatithasmade(and with completehonestyand of thingsintofocus.Icansay “Motherhood hasputalot it verywellwhenshewrote, as possible.” One mom put do toomanythingsaswell characteristic, asItriedto often theoverwhelming exhaustion was(regrettably) and somanyotherthings… exhilarating, tiring,joyful, worst. Itcanbechallenging, to bringoutthebestand “Motherhood hasatendency again, anothermomsaidthat, unstoppable attimes.”And me feelverypowerfuland ever felt.Ithasalsomade overwhelmed thanIhave it has made mefeelmore my household,newcreative world, newwaysofrunning teaching andexploringthe learning and find new ways of Mentally it has mademe keep is unparalleledforsure. life. ThejoyinMotherhood of thewayIusedtorunmy humble process ofletting go depression, anxiety, andthe as Igrappledwithpostpartum sadness andevenhumiliation also hasshownmegreat didn’t knowIcouldfeel and shown asortoflovethatI with. Emotionally I have been and havetocometerms from yourselfandothers that you couldconvenientlyhide flaws and weaknesses Being amothershowsyou (God willing,)betterperson. Survey

Motherhood Story Project 073 Motherhood Story Project 074 to letgoofthingsmore easily out, Ialsofeellikeamable creep definitely tendencies harder, andmycontrol-freak my patienceispushedon a mother. ThoughIfeellike than Iwasbefore becoming less anxiousorself-conscious than Ithoughtbefore. I am harder, andovercome more I can do more, push myself and haveshownmyselfthat my life,butIamalsostronger and themostexhaustionof experienced themostpain of ways.PhysicallyIhave and adaptinginallsorts me tokeepeducatingmyself challenges, andhaspushed Motherhood has changed my perspective perspective my changed has Motherhood on life andwhatismostimportant. on life people talkedmore openly One momwrote, “Iwish it canbeinthebeginning. breastfeeding and how difficult Another majorthemewas take placeduringthistime. hormonal adjustmentsthat called, andthehealing the “fourthtrimester”asit’s majority ofmomsdiscussed before motherhood. The wished theyhadknownabout discussed openly, thatthey motherhood thatare not describe someaspectsof the surveyaskedmomsto perspective now.” or atleastputthingsinbetter In thesixthquestion, Survey

Motherhood Story Project 075 Motherhood Story Project 076 boyfriends/ fiancés/ partners fiancés/ boyfriends/ mentally) butourhusbands/ (physically, emotionallyand after pregnancy andbirth a lot.Women change each other, butitchanged have neverwantedtoleave us stronger thanbefore and to workatmarriagemake drastically, wehavecontinued with myhusbandchanged relationship. Myrelationship about howitchangedtheir couples talkedmore openly been toldaboutit.Ialsowish was ableto,butIwishhad breastfeed. I’m so glad I it wouldtaketoexclusively of physicalandmentalenergy prepared mefortheamount like. It’s HARDandnoone about whatbreastfeeding is was pregnant, and even more with themassoonIknew actual children’. Ifellinlove they weren’t real babies, or hear commentslike‘atleast what couldhavebeenandstill decade lateranddream of mourn mybabieslostovera probably havemore’... ISTILL least yougotpregnant, you’ll ‘at boy): (a baby first my lost told bythephysicianwhenI her twin for that matter) I was Not thesonIlostprior(or outside onlyseemydaughter. looking atmysituationfrom the hot button topic. That people like miscarriageisstillsucha with onemomsaying,“Ifeel was anothercommontopic emotionally.” Miscarriage don’t changephysically and focused onthehard people what’s hard, butifyou’re too There are discussionsabout wonder howyou’llsurvive. feels liketorture andyou for youthat’s thethingthat this easybeautifulthingbut motherhood shouldjustbe who thinkssomeaspectof time. There’s alwayssomeone inadequate andjudgedallthe in suchawaythatyoufeel is discussedbutit’s done she said,“Ithinkeverything an excellentobservationwhen inside.” Oneparticipantmade so asIwatchedthemgrow done in such a way that youfeelinade- done insuchawaythat butit’s is discussed everything I think quate and judged all the time. the quate andjudgedall board with very specific plans specific very with board it buthasasecret Pinterest Susan justdoesn’t talk about never thinksthat,butreally Susan downthestreet forsure guilty aboutitfordaysbecause off ofmomlifeandyou’llfeel you’ll fantasize about a week won’t likeyourkid.Sometimes for everyone.Sometimesyou each ofthoseare isdifferent and there’s terrible and what The truthofitisthere’s great didn’t talkaboutthereal stuff. on what’s great theysayyou kids. Ifyou’re toofocused think youdon’t loveyour Survey

Motherhood Story Project 077 Motherhood Story Project 078 something I’ve noticed myself, something I’venoticedmyself, even amongmothers.It’s allow foropenconversation, to discuss,butsocietydoesn’t be manythingsthattheywish many women today. There may for conflict the shows clearly honest way.” Andthisvery safe totalkaboutitinareal You don’t knowwhenyou’re motherhood conversation. That’s thehardest partofthe that makes people feel judged. time butwealldoitinaway talk aboutmotherhoodallthe too ashamedtotake.We all her week off thatshe’s with for whatshe’s goingtodo conversation. Youconversation. don’t knowwhenyou’re That’s hardest the motherhood partof the safe to talk aboutit in arealsafe totalk honestway. inability todothingsasthey before, andoutweighsany far greater than their lives new identityasamomisby most moms said that their they havenow. Encouragingly, of responsibility andlovethat motherhood, andthefeelings feelings offreedom before the answers were the mom’s common thread between and motherhood.Themost between theirmaidenhood describe somedifferences asks theparticipantsto this project. and ispartofthereason for The seventh question The seventhquestion Survey

Motherhood Story Project 079 Motherhood Story Project 080 flown, andwe’vealwayshada on multiple tripsandeven has already traveledwithus experience at all. Our baby go out.Thathasn’t beenour your houseandcan’t ever of asuddentieddownto you haveababyyou’re all to see change: that once one misconceptionI’dlike some circumstances. That is more effort and planning in things, itjustrequires alittle spontaneous andgodofun anymore. We canstillbe we wantwhenever and Ican’t justdowhatever level offreedom. Myhusband there’s beena change inmy goes withoutsayingthat mom wrote, “Ofcourse,it previously wouldhave. One Also, fearandworryfor richer, more grounding. selflessness feelsdeeper, growth. Theloveofthattotal forced selflessnessisforced that neverends.But consuming it is. It’s the shift in howabsolutelytime- Motherhood surprisedme for aslongIwanted. basically wheneverIwanted sleep, entertainmyself,etc. of selfishness.Icouldeat, so free, almost tothepoint wrote, “Maidenhood was as afamily.” Another and makingnewmemories can really enjoystilltraveling and lowexpectations,you you haveapositiveattitude life iswhatyoumakeit.Soif great time! As with anything, you walkby, helpyouinany part liketheRedSeawhen They hold doors for you, you whenyou’re pregnant. way more helpfultowards my experience,thepublicis was amomwhosaid,“In One of the best responses people interactwiththem. motherhood in regard to how have beenaffected bytheir society, orthosearound them, moms todescribehow survey, questioneightasks their answersaswell. echoed thesethoughtsin comparison.” Manywomen The formerfeelsshallowin and worryforyourchildren. is entirely different from fear someone elseinmaidenhood Nearing theendof one understoodtheamount my firstwasbornbecauseno “I lostalotoffriendsafter matters.” Anothersaidthat, loves youandthat’s ALLthat best you can, your baby that you’re doingthe very IGNORE EVERYONE. Know baby. I’vefounditbestto on when you can’t calm your covered!) andlookeddown (even whenyou’re completely eye whenyounurseinpublic doors, beinggiventheside back toopeningyourown offer tohelpisgone.You’re old, howmany, etc.butthe want toseeyourbaby, askhow nowhere tobefound. They and those helpful people are put anewborninyourarms, way theypossiblycan.But Survey

Motherhood Story Project 081 Motherhood Story Project 082 too lazy with housework, too being too lenient, too tough; mom. Ihavebeenaccusedof own parents youare unfitasa society, your peers and your into amoldplacedonyouby Seemingly asifyoudon’t fit because you have a child. becomes more scrutinized your personalityandlife mother. Everythingabout are judgedwaymore asa this way:“Ifeellikeyou And another mom put it the babyathomewithdad.” I didn’t justwanttoleave and didn’t understand why the housewithmeandbaby, No onewantedtositaround just drop everythingand go. them wouldbe.Icouldn’t of planning going out with my babyandwhathisvarious became more familiarwith needed, etc. However, as I to know what my baby criticism, fear of being unable fear ofSIDS,social increased becauseofmy do believemyanxietylevels postpartum depression, I I don’t believeIhad/have enjoy mynewbaby. Although son’s lifethatIcouldnotfully of my month first the during nervous so was I first. at well did nothandlethechanges a mother. Onemomwrote, “I in theirlivessincebecoming these changesthattookplace moms how they have handled too homebound...Etc.” uptight; toocareer oriented, Question numbernineasks Survey

Motherhood Story Project 083 Motherhood Story Project 084 for mothers; story time at for mothers;storytimeat specifically events social find or myhusband.SoIstartedto due tothekindnessoffriends income soanybreak formewas And wedropped downtoone also have no family in the area. a “builtin”supportsystem.I have ababysoIdidn’t have to friends my of first the was I all daylongtohavingverylittle. conversation andsocialization from havinglotsof adult “The hardest partwas going overwhelmed.” Anothersaid, without becomingparalyzingly my son’s ever-changing needs stride andin stage adjust to been abletotakeeachnew more. Asa result, Ihave relax andenjoymotherhood cries represented, Ibeganto underline how hard the first first the hard how underline with babies.Idon’t thinkIcan had anysortofexperience anymore, andhavingnever I didn’t know, notworking depression, movingtoaplace for mebetweenpostpartum transition difficult very a was It handled itverywellforawhile. first our child wasrough, Idon’t thinkI with year first “The yet anothermomsaidthat, entirely different person.”And short stroller walk, I felt like an house onceaday, evenfora realized thatifIcouldleave the much neededsocialization.I friends, andexperiencedsome I metothermothers,made for example.Attheseplaces, collective playgroups and cafes, the Library, themotherhood to saywhattheyreally wanted participants hadthefreedom very vaguesothatthe intentionally leftthisquestion events haveimpactedthem.I years oftheirlife,andhow overview of the last few and forothers,itwasaquick and theirparenting style, how theyviewmotherhood story itself, for othersitmeant For some, this meantthebirth share theirmotherhoodstory. and simplyaskedmomsto survey wasveryopen-ended The learningcurvewassharp.” three monthswere especially. The final question of the question final The life becomesmorelife because scrutinized and aboutyourpersonality Everything you haveachild. completely shockedbyhow about itforsolongIwas was brutal.I’dfantasized the testsaidyes.Pregnancy moment ofrealization until like thelongestwaitfrom the a motheruntilIwas27.Itfelt to beamom.Ididn’t become knowing thatIwassupposed and I woke up the next day haired blueeyedlittle boy had adream aboutablonde changed mymindovernight.I but whenIwas22literally Team No Kids for a long time striking storywas.“Iwas required scripts.Onevery to, withoutanyprompts or Survey

Motherhood Story Project 085 Motherhood Story Project 086 conscious andIgotmynurse day, though, whenIwas first the time Imetmyson.Thenext remember don’t I to mush and I hemorrhaged. long andmyuterusjustwent I hadbeencontractingfortoo c sectionwhichdidn’t gowell, a me gave finally they before the epiduralandthen14more I went68hoursbefore getting process. Laborwaslooooong. terrible for hating the growing so desperatelyandIfelt my son,though.Iwantedhim I justcouldn’t waitto meet uterus starting at 28 weeks. up onbedrest forirritable meds tosurvive,andIended take thehardcore nausea stopped beingsick,Ihadto terrible it was for me. I never don’t believeyou.Public parenting is...awful.People epipen injection.Allergy first his him give to had I old When hewas13.5months into thefoodallergy world. to food and wegotthrown reaction anaphylactic first his At sevenmonthsoldhehad a dream baby. Herarely cried. 4 months,butmostlyhewas had abadsleepregression at bad whenhewasnew, and Wemom. refluxfought pretty when Iknewwantedtobea like theboyIdreamed about dreamed of.Literallyhe looks was exactlythe little boyI meeting astrangerbuthe love. Iexpectedittofeellike it wasinstantunbearable to bringhimbackme... Survey

Motherhood Story Project 087 Motherhood Story Project 088 u I el ie ’ finally I’m like waking up to who I really am. feel I but more tired thaneverbefore, like waking up. Ironically I’m been just has months fifteen motherhood overthelast and fear. But mostly for me, to beburiedbythattrauma day not every hell like fight occasion now, andIhaveto my childonmore than one by watchingfoodnearlykill to be your reality. I’mhaunted torture. You don’t wantthis dramatic oroverprotective is it’s likesayyou’re being people whodon’t know what places don’t feel safe. Having was completelyshockedbyhowter I’d fantasizedaboutitforsolong I rible itwasforme. with babiesatall.Ialsowas it gavemenoexperience was agreat childhood,but that I was an only child, which really startedwiththe fact think mymotherhoodstory as weexpandourfamily.” to see what else I wakeup to with ituntilmyson.I’mexcited woman happy fun, confident, know thatI’dbethisstrong, love withmyselfreally. Ididn’t me seewhoIam,andfallin but beingamomhasmade motherhood isn’t myidentity, My childisn’t myidentityand It’s made me more myself. Another momwrote, “I - with my first, and felt like I needed tothrow upallday like felt and first, my with sickness andthrew upallday but I had horrible morning healthy, thanks be to God, Both of my pregnancies were I hadnoideawhattoexpect. but child, first our having was excited whenIfoundout one inthehouse.Iwasvery a babydollorevenhaving don’t everrecall playingwith have neverlikeddollsand not eventhatmaternal,I I wasn’t verygirly, andmaybe or plansoutherkidsnames; dreams aboutherwedding wasn’t oneofthosegirls who eventually haveafamily, butI had alwaysimaginedIwould to dothingsmyownway. I pretty usedtobeing able After my second child was it’s like a long slog to theend. uncomfortable andexhausted and then the last bit I am so very comfortable,I’mtired, morning sickness,I’mnot I getpasttheconstant that funforme;evenwhen but pregnancy isjust not and my babies were healthy, I knewwasperfectlyhealthy felt guiltysometimesbecause when theywere pregnant. I about howamazingtheyfelt meet womenwhoraved mostly disbeliefwhenIwould a littlebit of jealousybut with thesecond.There was People don’t believe you. believe Survey

Motherhood Story Project 089 Motherhood Story Project 090 second chance3yearslater chance. Thankfully, Igotthat differently if given a second things done have definitely healthy andhappy, but Iwould because allof us cameout I cannotreally complain intense painoftheinduction. an epiduralbecauseofthe induction anda long timeon a c-sectionafterverylong delivery, but I barely avoided OB. Ihadasuccessfulvaginal side formysize,sosaid was measuringonthelarge a weekover due andbaby was inducedbecauseI birth first My haha. suddenly on howhappyIseemed two friendsactuallycomment pregnant anymore that Ihad born Ifeltsogoodnotbeing ais ln tm. y first My time. long a babies love beingabletonursemy champion nursingteamandI a webecame but child, first our with weeks few first the Nursing wasanightmare who are thelightofmy days. have twohappyhealthyboys but Iamgratefulforbothand second onemuchpreferable, were verydifferent, the hospital. Thetwoexperiences around the L and D floor of our with myhusbanddoinglaps after anicepeacefultime for, anditwasafastdelivery moment whichIwasgrateful for anepiduralattheverylast time around. I happily opted first the missed I what of all own andgottoexperience and Iwentintolaboronmy Survey

Motherhood Story Project 091 Motherhood Story Project 092 a vocationof“just”being bit cheesy, Imean,comeon, to motherhoodwasalittle of thinkingthata“vocation” remember evenmyselfkind a great stayathomeMom,I this amazingexperienceof thing is,eventhoughIhad with mylittlestoo.Thefunny knew Iwantedtobehome was born,butinmyheartI go backtoworkafterbaby think at first I thought I would eternally gratefulfornow. I lot about asachild,butam something I didn’t think a was astayathomeMom, give itup.Myownmother shows nosignofwantingto to sleepat2andahalf and my second still nurses child nursed until hewas 2 I feelatwingeofanxiety or twoandwhilesometimes third childinthenextyear are hopefultowelcomea calling ofmotherhood.We my lifethanthisprofound doing anythingbetterwith often, butIcannotimagine learning allthetime,Ifail would haveotherwise.Iam growing asparents thanI experience ofbecomingand my husbandthrough the about myselfand it. Ihavelearnedfarmore knew possiblebecauseof have grown inwaysInever I havementionedbefore, I think itisavocationandas being amom,Iabsolutely eyes beenopened!ILOVE a Mom?Butboyhavemy hospital my husband had the was born. he When wegothomefrom the that day first separated from himforthe lung, whichcausedmetobe I punctured aholeinmy “During thebirthofmyson surely sendthegracefor.” God permitsHewillalso and I know that whatever is betweenparents and child, know how amazing this love family are there forus,I I knowthatmy friends and team thanwe’veeverbeen, husband andIare astronger at theprospect, Iknow my Another momwrote, Nursing was a nightmarea was Nursing first the few weeks with our first child few weekswith completed mydegree witha work. DespitetheobstaclesI leave again for school or day onlytonursehimand I would be homeduring the the caretaker for my sonand my husbandwasbasically for achallengingtimewhere Bachelors degree. Thismade the two of us and I finished my have worked 5 jobs between of my sons life, my husbandand I year first the During postpartum becauseofit. for thetwoweeksimmediate of boththemandmyself back, soIbasicallytookcare were we week first the for flu Survey

Motherhood Story Project 093 Motherhood Story Project 094 3 years in, I finally have my have finally I in, years 3 here andthere, butIthinkthat some rageandfrustration times andemotionallytaxing, HULK-. It’s uncomfortableat much liketurningintothe slow transformationthatfeels “Motherhood hasbeena time oftryingtoconceive.” and abletoweatherthetrying more emotionallyprepared lot a feel I first, our with built the amazingsupportsystemI discouraging butbecauseof been has our secondwhich are strugglingwithconceiving Right nowmyhusbandandI through now(he’s 13months). breastfeeding relationship continued tohaveanamazing new babywhileworkingand Another mothersaid, keep ourheadsabovewater.” treading waterandtrying to we are allinthiscrazyworld anything aboutparenting and “Realizing nobodyknows simply whensheonlysaid, years hasbeenagift. them with my husband of five do love them and sharing have mychildren andI really good mom.Ifeelluckyto mother andIthinkI’mareally identity linedupwithbeinga And thismomputitvery Survey

Motherhood Story Project 095 Chapter Four:Photography Motherhood Story Project 096 I represent theirmotherhood. individually, as well as represent whotheywere was fortheseimagesto way possible.Mydesire most simpleandauthentic capture motherhoodin the style ofthesephotoswasto My inspirationbehindthe along withtheirchildren. aspect ofthisproject, took partintheportraiture survey itself,thesewomen well asparticipatinginthe mot series thathighlightedtheir moms to participate in a portrait and stylefortheirportraits. to useaverysimplesetup the survey, Iaskedseveral n additiontocompleting For thisreason Idecided herhood experience.As

a “messybun”whichhelped chose toweartheirhairupin of motherhood.Somewomen to emphasistheauthenticity to theimages,whichhelped to create amore organic vibe grey, andwhitetoneshelped calming and natural. The tan, the colorthemestobevery their faces.Thisalsoallowed not distractortakeawayfrom solid, neutralcolors,thatdid attire, Iasked them towear home asamom.Fortheir normally wouldforadayat they should wear what they (or no)makeup,statingthat participants towearminimal any distractions.Iaskedthe focus onthem,andminimize lighting, which would create a A blackbackdrop withsingular

Motherhood Story Project 097 Motherhood Story Project 098 photographed, Icreated an large volumeofwomenbeing and theirchildren. Duetothe as thiswaseasier for them of thewomen’s residences, even tookthedisplaytosome children toplay, ifneeded.I and hadplentyofroom for for participantstolocate, to locationsthatwere easy me totakethebackdrop very simple setup allowed I usedfortheportraits.This camera, andthecamerathat a stationary(tripod)video stand, twoumbrella lights, from a portable backdrop consis the photographicset-upitself day-to-day aesthetic,aswell. to demonstratetheirnormal The materialsthatIusedfor ted ofblackfabrichung

time slotfrom thelist. selected theirpreferred the participantssimply time foreachmom,as of having toorganize a also eliminated the hassle instead of a few weeks. It the course of a fewdays, photograph themothersin very efficient. Iwasable to time andmadetheprocess lessen theamountofdown This helpedtoconsiderably times with each mother. to schedulemultipledays/ to-back, insteadofhaving was abletoshootthemback- reserve astheirtimeslot, and of timethatmotherscould set upseveraldayswithblocks (https://goo.gl/HKFeTS), and Eventbrite.com event

get theimagesIneededfor shoot 5-7momsaday, and of afewdays,Iwasableto as needed. Over the course my babythroughout theday, me totakecare ofandnurse this extratimeallowedfor during all the sessions, so mother, Iwas“baby-wearing” photographer, andalsoa time forthataswell.Asthe the images, and this allowed that were incorporated into items ofsentimentalvalue mothers brought props, or photos tobetaken.Some different posesandstylesof or changed,andforseveral be calmed,babiestofed allowed forcrankykidsto off aslotoffullhour. This For eachmom,Iblocked it prevented me from having particularly helpful for me as quickly andeasily, butwas access toalltheinformation mothers sotheycouldhave very helpfulnot only tothe answers, as needed. This was sheet withnewquestionsand allowed metoupdatethe Google Docsforthis,which https://goo.gl/CvTyyo. Iused sheet can be viewed at sessions themselves. This the project andthephoto numerous questionsabout thatansweredsheet “FAQ” them, Iputtogetheran what wasrequired of mothers whoparticipated. low stress formyselfor the the project withrelatively To helpthemomsunderstand Photography

Motherhood Story Project 099 Motherhood Story Project 100 posing. I wanted to create and togentlyguidetheir to interactwithoneanother allowed the moms and children the sessions,Iintentionally the photosession.During of theparticipants. having torepeat myself to all answer those,insteadof had furtherquestionscould document, andthenifthey direct the moms to the multiple times. I could simply to answerthesamequestion I this was stories forpublication.Once rights totheirimagesand desire, andgivesme the me tousetheimagesasI release form,whichallows a te fl ot amodel out fill them had When themomsarrived, complete, westarted required both lights looks andeffects. Someshots the two sidestocreate different lights, andalternatedbetween the work.Iusedtwoumbrella important forthisaspectof The useofshadowwasreally the viewer to want to see more. way thatitcreated alonging in to fallonthesubjectsinsucha interaction. Iwantedthelight finally, the and features, the by first posed forthelight,followed I direction. more little a a bitmore stiff andrequired doing this,andotherswere were comfortable women and personalitieswell.Some represented theirrelationship that images organic and fluid to beinshadow. to allowformultiplefacesnot Photography to be on tobeon

Motherhood Story Project 101 Motherhood Story Project 102 “but it’s yourstory!Just But Iwouldrespond with, want, thisisyourproject!” “just pose me however you Some motherswouldsay, for themthanmyself. I sawthisproject asmore and that they would cherish. images thatwere flattering conscious, buttocreate images thatmadethemself- skin, Ididn’t wanttocreate be lesscomfortableintheir bodies. But to those who may who are very confident in their wracking thing,evenforthose little-to-no makeupisanerve of bright studio lighting with the mothers.Standinginfront for images flattering create on whileshootingwasto One thingIdidtrytofocus frequently needtostopand angles andlighting.Iwould and-forth togettheright and required alotofback- enough totakedirection well, of thechildren were notold Most flexibility. and patience a considerableamountof working withchildren requires Unlike withadultsubjects, trying todirect thechildren. aspects ofthisproject was lighting andtheirfeatures. their motionstobestsuitthe and Iwouldsimplyfacilitate their children inanatural way, mothers wouldinteractwith posing tookplace,where the mutual dynamictohowthe rest,” thiscreated avery be yourselfandI’ll do the n o te oe difficult more the of One concept wasamonochromatic consistent style.Myoriginal editing alloftheimagesina undertook theprocess of were captured, Ithen they remembered it. case in on reflect to them for create apositivemoment from now, andwantedto would cherishmanyyears be photosthatthechildren that theseimageswould about themothers,Iknew Even though this project was much astheirmomsandI. and to enjoy the process as good waytogetthemrelaxed few silly faces were always a them some ofthepictures. A we were havingfun and show reassure somechildren that Once allofthemothers Although eachmother’s story the final collection of images. cohesive look and feel for gave theentire project a each setaccordingly. This references andwouldadjust and usedsource imagesas a customLightroom preset in styleandtone,Icreated these imagesallmatched with color. To ensure that that were betterrepresented of theirmotherhoodstory had incorporatedelements there were severalmomswho the greyscale style.Likewise, was immediatelymutedwith children’s andmother’seyes discovered thatthelifein the this project, butquickly black and white images for one. Ihadmentallypictured Photography

Motherhood Story Project 103 Motherhood Story Project 104 way, the art isnotstagnant, should be developed. In this that acoffee tablebook possible way, it was decided and stories in the best of light and authentic posing. connection through the use their emotionandpersonal felt intheseimageswith common thread can be else canunderstand.This child inawaythatnoone Every motherhasloveda confidence, pride,andguilt. of doubt,joy, hesitation, the waytheywere edited. create thatsenseofunity in stories, and I wanted to thread amongallmotherhood is unique,there isacommon To showcasetheseimages Every motherhasmoments Their storieswere spread focus onherandchildren. a senseofsolitude,orsingular personhood, aswellcreate on themother’s identityand space tohelpcreate afocus utilizes theuseofnegative their lives.Thislarge book and takeabrieflookinto reflect on each mother’s story, a moment to trulystop and This allowstheviewertotake and showcaseherimagery. story her tell to book lay-flat multiple spreads within this portraits withinthisproject. easily housethestoriesand or withfriends,andcanvery able tobeenjoyedprivately be shared. Abookisportable, handing onawallunableto Each motherwasgiven Photography

Motherhood Story Project 105 Motherhood Story Project 106 feeding orchangingtheir recorded while motherswere These audioclipswere often their motherhoodstories. audio clipsofmotherstelling footage, Irecorded separate sessions. Alongwiththisvideo and children duringthephoto capturing B-roll ofthemothers session rancontinually was setupduringthephoto The stationarycamerathat was alsotakenfor this project. photography, videofootage words andtheimages. eye bouncesbetweenthe the storiesasviewer’s to thespreads, givinglife to stories to help add dimension quotes were pulledfrom the out overseveralpages,and In additiontothe very calm,whichmadethe her cadenceofspeechwas Her voice was very softand was particularlyimpactful. one mother’s storythat some of the mothers, and mini-film, Ichoseclipsfrom of thisproject. Forthe to thedepthandemotion mini-film whichreally added decide tocreate ashort video. Ultimately, Idid to create apromotional record itjustincaseIwanted nevertheless tookthetimeto this materialfortheproject, I how Iwouldmostlikelyuse stories. WhileIwasunsure to themotherlyaspectoftheir frequently beheard, adding babies inthebackground can children, andthesoftcoos of is sharableonline. be seenonthewebsite,and for theviewer. Thisfilmcan well asprovide inspiration to markettheproject, as type filmthatIcannowuse to thisshortpromotional- membership, andaddedit using amusiclicensing to accompanythevideo was inspiringandemotional film. I sourced music that perfect backdrop for this of themother’s spreads. photobook, previewing some are afewexcerptsfrom the On thefollowingpages Photography

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Motherhood Story Project 125 Motherhood Story Project 126 Chapter Five:Social A one-time visual story to truly “flash-and-bang,” a just than this project deserves more and video,butIdecidedthat the workofportraiture has beenachievedthrough to-be-mothers. support mothersandsoon- that helpstoencourageand gap andcreate avisual work project helpstobridge that how societyviewsthem,this how motherstrulylive,and cultural disconnectbetween each other. Since there is a by society, themselves,and analyze howtheyare viewed the storiesofwomenand this project wastohighlight The maingoal of this project thesis, thepurposeof s discussedearlierinthis approved, are thenpostedon utilized. Thesestories,once the surveythatthisproject They canevenparticipatein their motherhoodstory. themselves, aswellshare they canuploadanimageof their stories and images. Here those whowouldliketoshare to provide alandingpoint for motherhoodstoryproject.com I created thewebsitewww. of motherhoodonadailybasis. share, andrelate withstories becoming mothers,canview, and thosewhoare looking at in hopesthatcurrent moms, established forthisproject, social mediaaccountswere For thisreason, awebsite and moms are viewedbysociety. solve theproblem ofhow

Motherhood Story Project 127 Motherhood Story Project 128 which hopefullywilleliminate of different parenting styles, “mom shaming”orbelittling rules isthatthere canbeno engage in.Partofthegroup for women to interact and secure, andsafeenvironment to join,makingitarelatively admin approves are allowed that onlythosepeoplewhoan is a“closed”group, meaning motherhoodstoryproject. This www.facebook.com/groups/ community with one another at join whowouldliketodevelop Facbeook group formoms to below. Similarly, there isalsoa the project. Twitter pagesassociatedwith the Instagram,Facebook,and the website’s blog,aswell These pagesare listed www.instagram.com/motherhoodstoryproject www.facebook.com/motherhoodstoryproject www.twitter.com/motherhood_ on motherhood,asdesired. mothers canlearnnewtopics learning unitsestablishedso There willalsobesocial find support witheachother. and topics needed on and menteestoengage process thatallowsmentors mentored. Thisisa5-week as wellsignuptobe mothers tooffer mentorship, Facebook add-onthatallows be setup using a built-in support andencouragement. and reach outtoothers for their daily ups and downs, Here, motherscan share the moms who were surveyed. was acommoncomplaintof parenting techniques,which social judgingofdifferent A mentorshipsystemwill Other typesofinteractive well aslearnfrom each other. and motivateoneanother, as encourage momstosupport new insights as mothers, and and allowwomentoshare This willsparkconversation have learnedeachweek. moms whatnewthingthey second weeklypostwillask stories, trials,andsuccesses. photovoice to tell their daily will encouragemotherstouse lens. Thisaspectofthegroup see theirlivesthrough a fresh children, andhelpthem to cherished memorieswiththeir will helpfocusthemontheir weekly photoposts,which encouraged toparticipatein In additiontothese,a Likewise, motherswillbe not onlyforencouragement, the purposeofgroup is each memberwillknowthat group willbedifferent inthat groups” already exist,this process. Whilemany“mom are partofthemotherhood the manyupsanddownsthat will hopefullyopenupabout topics. Inthisway, mothers dialogue aboutmotherhood and participateinopen and interactwithoneanother future motherscanengage network in which current and twitter, there will be alarge website/blog, instagram,and community withinthegroup. communicate theconceptof needed, tohelpmotivateand posts may be developed, as Through thisgroup, the Social

Motherhood Story Project 129 Motherhood Story Project 130 Social

Motherhood Story Project 131 Motherhood Story Project 132 needed), willmonitor volunteer toassist,as other responsible mothers (namely Andrea Lewisuntil the adminsofgroup mothers toparticipatein, respectful communityfor motherhood community. the purpose of support the share apartoftheirlives for will invitemotherstovisually motherhood journey, but conversation aboutthe not onlyencourageweekly mom groups, thisgroup will of thisthesis.Unlikeother discovered intheresearch societal patternsashavebeen inevitably inplacebasedon the socialbarriersthatare but forbreaking down As thisisasafeand you triedessentialoils?’ the mom group said, ‘Have asked themomgroup and bumped hishead,mama on thebed,1felloff and little monkeysjumping groups onlinegoes,“10 has frequently circulated anecdotal poemthat that takesplace.One inevitable “momshaming” on socialmediaisthe with motherhoodgroups of thebiggestissues moms in the group. One way demeaningtofellow socially hostile,orinany towards motheringstyles, that are harmful,negative or report anyconversations the responsibility todelete conversation andwilltake styles thatare justvariedin criticized forparenting without fearofbeing where womencaninteract create anenvironment group. Thiswillhopefully being deletedfrom the receive onewarningbefore the group. Members will will notbeallowedin This sortofcommentary aggressive mom-shaming. various formsofpassive- comments ofjudgmentand everywhere there are blog online,andalmost truth. Gotoanymommy its pointisnotfarfrom the is somewhatexaggerated, injury.’ ‘I’mcallingCPS.’” ‘Hyperactivity isavaccine Although thislittlerhyme our children. on howweprefer to raise another, evenifwedisagree be abletosupportone And asmothersweshould just amatterofpreference. a parent makes today are their opinion.Mostchoices Social

Motherhood Story Project 133 Motherhood Story Project 134 Chapter Six:Conclusion I drastically different from my of howmotherhoodwas by mypersonalobservation I knewaboutmotherhood levels asamother, andthat criticizes themonmultiple they nowfeelthatsociety for motherhood,andthat little hadprepared them similar agreement thatvery other mothers,there wasa discussing theseissueswith a varietyofways.When was judgedbysocietyin and feltthatmotherhood that Iwaspre-motherhood, I wastreated verydifferently Similarly, asanewmom,Ifelt before becomingamom. maidenhood life, and how little project wasinitiallyinspired n conclusion,thisthesis

the realities ofmotherhood. society whocanputafaceto but alsotoothermembersof to notonlyotherwomen, the storiesreal andrelatable this solution,becauseitmakes important forthesuccessof of thisproject isespecially and socialmedia. with theworldthrough blogs other, and share their stories women can interact with each an environment where storytelling, butalsocreates through photography and the storiesofseveralwomen project notonlyhighlights on thetopicinareal way. This or engagewithothermoms share theirexperiences with, there isnooutletto truly The photographicaspect

Motherhood Story Project 135 Motherhood Story Project 136 help toinspire andencourage owns asuccessfulartbusiness. her babydaughterandnow Christina who was inspired by exercise. Andmotherhoodis with physicalwellnessand herself andotherwomen Megan, whoisempowering in herarms.Motherhoodis rosy-cheeked infantlovingly but isnowholdingachunky, due to a medical condition, would neverhavechildren is Rachelwhowastoldshe second child.Motherhood and isnowexpectingher Sarah, whohadamiscarriage holding achild,whosenameis with children, but it is a face this generic term for women No longerismotherhood These storiesandothers we ashumanbeingsshould and somemaybebad,but different, some may be good, mother. Eachmothermaybe of us have been born of a but we are all human and each may haveuniqueexperiences, common thread isthatwe each with momsonadailybasis.This in societywhoare interacting has acommonthread to those this, buteachmother’s story tie mothers together. Not only among eachstorythathelpto aspects andcommonthreads different andunique,there are Although eachstoryis the motherhoodjourney. honest conversationabout help openthedoorsfor and thedetailsoftheirstories current andfuture mothers, Conclusion

Motherhood Story Project 137 Motherhood Story Project 138 will beencouragedand project, hopefullymanywomen in oursociety. Becauseofthis and cherishtherole ofmothers is, andthatweshouldrespect unique eachmotherhoodstory light onjusthowprecious and enough.” Thisproject sheds or belittledas“notgood by society, notscoffed at be respected andappreciated as araceofbeings.Thisshould of ahumanbeing,weare lost be used for the development woman allowingherbodyto can continue, and without a way that we as a civilization society. Mothersare theonly and shouldbevaluedinour that isverymuchneeded and respect thatthisisastation mother, of office the respect society asawhole. for mothersandmembersof into atrulyvaluableresource mature overtime,andblossom to seethisproject grow and As withalllivingthings,Ihope part becauseofthisproject. be honored inour society in that motherhoodwillhopefully the storiesofreal mothers, and will continuetoseeandshare mother toknowthatpeople truly end, I am inspired as a a livingproject, andwill never Motherhood StoryProject is towards motherhood. As the inform thosewhoare planning one anotherandtoinspire and will jointogethertoencourage and acommunityofmothers work thatisbeingproduced, continue toparticipateinthe Conclusion

Motherhood Story Project 139 Motherhood Story Project 140 Sincerely, specific under falls theYour study expedited categoryreview ( casesfor these attached your were email. to approval pertainsit youmust to human subjects, submit anappro number. co Ifdata This approval is extended informWe pleased to are your Liberty hasbeenapproved you that study bythe Dear G. Michele T IRB Andrea CaresseLewis 8,2019January Liberty University The Graduate School ResearchAdministrativeInstitutional of Chair

hank you for yourcooperationwith hank youfor theIRB,and wewish wellwith your researchproject. you re from theHHS regulations for the protection of humansubjects. factors evaluation, or quality assurance methodologies. (NO behavior) or research employing survey, interview, oral history, focus group, program evaluation, human perception, cognition, motivation, identity, language, communication, cultural beliefs or practices, and social Research7. onindividual or group characteristics or behavior (including, but not limitedto, research on Approval fers only to research thatis exempt.)not Andrea Lewis Caresse , minimal and studies risk

Baker, MA,CIP 3559.010819:

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Training Champions for Christ llection pastoneyear proceeds

to you for one year from toyouforoneyear providedabove withyourprotocol thedate , TheMotherhoodStory minor

changes to approved studies approved to changes since 1971

or if youor if make changes in themethodology as

TE: Some research inthis category may exempt be 45 CFR 46.110 priate priate form update to the IRB. 45 CFR 46.101(b)(2) for ) , which is , whichis applicable to

the followingreason

and (b)(3). This listing University University rms The forms IRB. ( s ) :

2. Newmom(firstyear) c. 1. Survey Questions: j. i. h. g. f. Stillbirth e. VBAC d. c. C-section b. Miscarriage a. Infertility experienced? (checkallthatapply) So farinyourmotherhoodstory, whathaveyoupersonally e. d. b. a. (select whichappliesmosttoyou) What doyouconsideryourself? None oftheabove Problems withadoptionprocedures Other birth-related issues Pre-term birth Vaginal delivery Mom ofMothers(youhavegrandchildren) Experienced Mom(greater than1-year) Mom-to-be (expecting/preparing foradoption) Planning toward motherhood Appendix

Motherhood Story Project 141 Motherhood Story Project 142 7. miscarriage, nursingissues,birthhealing,thefirst3-months 6. 5. Whatare somewaysyouthinksocietydefines“motherhood”? 4. 3. motherhood? (abilityto stayoutlate,feelingsofloveand between pre-motherhood (or“maidenhood”)and In yourpersonalexperience,whatare somedifferences you forthetransition?(longanswer) topics youwishedwere discussedmore thatmayhelpprepare etc)Ifyouareof anewborn, notyetamother, are there any wished were talked more about?(problems suchas are notdiscussedopenlythatyouhaveexperiencedand What are someaspectsofmotherhoodyoudiscovered that (long answer) yet amother, howdoyouthinkthischangewillimpactyou? how youreact tothings,yourbodyimageetc?)Ifyouare not emotionally, andphysically?(Thewayyouthinkaboutthings, What are somewaysmotherhoodhasimpactedyoumentally, (short answer) “motherhood”? (shortanswer) the process ofbecomingone,whatisyourcurrent viewof mean toyou?Ifyouare notyetamother, butare in Before youbecameamother, whatdid“motherhood”

your contact information.): your contactinformation.): your surveyresponses willnolongerbeanonymousifyouinclude your nameandemailaddress below, then clicksubmit(Pleasenote: contacted furtherregarding yourmotherhood story, pleaseinclude button below. Ifyouare okaywithbeingidentifiedandpossibly If youwouldliketoremain anonymous,pleaseclickthesubmit 10. 9. 8. describe your journey sofar.describe yourjourney (longanswer) what majoreventstranspired?) Ifyouare notyetamother, What isyourmotherhoodstory?(whatwastheprocess like, how are youplanningtohelpthistransition?(longanswer) you, were theyachallenge,etc)Ifyouare notyetamother, in yourlifesincebecomingamother?(didtheycomeeasyto How haveyouhandledthechangesthattakenplace a mother, whatdoyouanticipateinthisregard? (longanswer) differently, doyoutreat themdifferently, etc)Ifyouare notyet been affected byyourmotherhood?(dotheytreat you In yourexperience,howhassociety, orpeoplearound you, those differences mightbe?(longanswer) protection, etc)Ifyouare notyetamother, whatdoyouthink Appendix

Motherhood Story Project 143 Motherhood Story Project 144 Bibliography 2009. Kugiya, Hugo.Portraitsofpregnancy -thebirthofamother. SentientPublications, González, MartaAlvarez. Theartofmotherhood.J.PaulGettyMuseum,2010. Farmer, Veronica. MadeBeautifulbyScarsRealWomens Stories.BalboaPr, 2016. Elinor Carucci.Mother.Prestel Verlag, 2013. Domanico, Caitlin,andJadeBeall.Photographingmotherhood:howtodocumentthe David JayPhotography. “TheSCARProject.” TheScarProject: Breast CancerIsNot Cusk, Rachel.Alifeswork:onbecomingamother. FaberandFaber, 2008. Crittenden, Ann.Thepriceofmotherhood:whythemostimportantjobinworld Charleston, L.J.TheMommyMafia:theurbandictionaryofmothers.MJMorgan 2013. Bright, Susan,etal.Hometruths:photographyandmotherhood.ArtBooksPubl., 2014. Beall, Jade.Thebodiesofmothers:abeautifulbodyproject. Green Writers Press, lives ofwomenandtheirfamilies.AmherstMedia,Inc.,2017. A PinkRibbon,2011,www.thescarproject.org/. is stilltheleastvalued.Picador, 2010. James Publishing,2014.

Motherhood Story Project 145 Bibliography

McCain, Natalie. The honest body project: real stories and untouched portraits of women & motherhood. Skyhorse Publishing, 2017.

Nash, Meredith. “Picturing Mothers: A Photovoice Study of Body Image in Pregnancy.” Health Sociology Review 23.3 (2014): 242-53.

Nash, Meredith. Making ‘Postmodern’ Mothers: Pregnant Embodiment, Baby Bumps and Body Image. New York: Palgrave MacMillan, 2012. Print.

OReilly, Andrea. Encyclopedia of motherhood. Sage Publications, 2010.

Rojas, Jeff. Photographing women: posing, lighting, and shooting techniques for por trait and fashion photography. Rocky Nook, 2017.

Stern, Daniel N., and Nadia Bruschweiler-Stern. The birth of a mother: how the motherhood experience changes you forever. Bloomsbury, 1998.

Tjaden-Glass, Sharon. Becoming Mother: A Journey of Identity. Sharon Tjaden-Glass, 2015.

Walters, Heather Rose. (Cindy Johnson) “From Brokenness To Beauty: turning scars into works of art.” HER Magazine ™, 20 Feb. 2017, hermag.co/turning-scars- into-works-of-art/.

Wilkerson, Sarah. Capture the moment: the modern photographers guide to finding beauty in everyday and family life. Amphoto Books, 2015.

Wykes, Maggie, and Barrie Gunter. The media and body image: if looks could kill. SAGE, 2010. 147 Motherhood Story Project www.instagram.com/motherhoodstoryproject www.facebook.com/motherhoodstoryproject www.MotherhoodStoryProject.com www.twitter.com/motherhood_

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