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An Exploratory Investigation of the Shopping Behavior of Female-To-Male Consumers: Before, During, and After Transition Eva M. Hyatt, Appalachian State University

[to cite]: Eva M. Hyatt (2002) ,"An Exploratory Investigation of the Shopping Behavior of Female-To-Male Consumers: Before, During, and After Transition", in GCB - Gender and Consumer Behavior Volume 6, eds. Pauline Maclaran, Paris, France : Association for Consumer Research, Pages: 323-336.

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An Exploratory Investigation of the Shopping Behavior of Female-to- Male Consumers: Before, During, and After Transition

Eva M. Hyatt, Appalachian State University

ABSTRACT gender as not dichotomous (Smith 1992). Each sex is associated with a Few things are written about range of gender role behaviors that vary transpeople's everyday lives and in typicality, that are acknowledged to experiences, especially not their be largely socially constructed, and that interaction with the marketplace. The range in acceptability depending on situation of someone raised as a surrounding cultural and social circles. member of one sex with the The notion that an individual might accompanying gender role never be clearly male or female, or that socialization, who transitions to the one might shift along the physical sex other through a combination of dimension or completely transition physical and/or social means, provides from one sex to the other has not been an especially interesting opportunity for considered by consumer researchers. consumer researchers to investigate the complexities of both sex and gender and The field of queer theory has brought their impact on consumer behavior. the study of transsexualism and This paper looks at the lives and transgenderism to the social sciences. shopping behavior of several But even in this body of literature, few individuals who were raised as females, things are written about transpeople's and then transitioned later in life to everyday lives and experiences become males. (Namaste 2000), especially not their interaction with the marketplace. The INTRODUCTION situation of someone raised as a member of one sex with the Gender has been somewhat widely accompanying gender role studied in the field of consumer socialization, who transitions to the behavior, with emphases mainly on the other through a combination of physical differences between men and women, and/or social means, provides an gender biases, and sex-role variations especially interesting opportunity for (Kimmel and Tissier-Desbordes 2000). consumer researchers to investigate the The more enlightened assumption (in complexities of both sex and gender consumer behavior as well as in most and their impact on consumer behavior. social sciences) is that each individual This paper looks at the lives of several fits into one of the two sex categories individuals who were raised as females, biologically, but may vary along a with no regard for their internal gender and/or sexuality continuum. psychological identification as males, That is, there is an accepted critique of

323 and then transitioned later in life to regarding identity and belonging. For become males. example, many transsexuals feel their situation and agenda is more specific TERMINOLOGY and resent being lumped in with the transgender movement, which includes In American and European cultures, the those who move between genders or term transsexual refers to "individuals blend genders in a gender fuck way. who have been born with 'good' male or But the term transsexual is laden with 'good' female bodies," but who the accompanying "medico- "envision themselves as members of the psychological agenda" from which it 'opposite' sex." Each such individual sprung in the mid-twentieth century has a strong drive to "have his/her body (Cromwell 1999, p.24). Ironically, such conform with his/her psyche" (Fausto- "discovery" of transsexualism led to the Sterling 2000, p.107). Transsexuals can reinforcement of the two-gender system be male-to-female or female-to-male. by allowing access to hormones, The term intersexed refers to surgery, and medical recognition only individuals whose bodies have a to those who convinced their doctors mixture of male and female parts. The that they would be the most typical treatment is to surgically and/or stereotypical members of their gender- hormonally alter the body to fit one of to-be (Fausto-Sterling 2000). the two acceptable sex categories. Gender identity refers to the private As a result of some of these issues, experience of ones individuality as various terms have emerged to refer male, female, or neutral/androgynous more specifically to the group that this (Fausto-Sterling 2000). The word paper is primarily concerned with, transgender is "an umbrella term used female-to-male individuals. Some of to refer to all individuals who live these terms are FTMs, transmen, outside of normative sex/gender female-bodied men, or female-bodied relations" and "whose gendered self- transpeople. These terms reinforce the presentation (evidenced through dress, fact that they have a female mannerisms, and even physiology) does socialization and history. However, one not correspond to the behaviors of my informants is intersexed and does habitually associated with the members not feel that he fits into the female-to- of their biological sex" (Namaste 2000, male transsexual category, even though p.1). Transgenderism represents a more he was raised as a female and has radical re-visioning of sex and gender transitioned to become a male. The key along a continuum and accepts the idea is to avoid labeling anyone in a connection among those who share way that they find inappropriate. gender-variant identities. The term transgender is a move away from a Also partly due to the complexity in physically-based definition to a more terms are problems of invisibility for socially-based definition (Cromwell transpeople. One issue is they are at 1999). once neither male nor female, and both male and female if both sex and gender The differences within and among the identity are taken together. An inability various identities represented by the to tell the "whatness" interferes with terms above are largely ignored identifiability (Smith 1992). In the case (Namaste 2000), and terms are often of FTMs, pre-operative/pre-transition interchanged. This is a problem since females are seen as women by our there are numerous sensitive issues binary sex-typing system, and often as

324 pathological women or lesbians menstruation begins, breasts develop (Cromwell 1999). Post-operative/post- (Devor 1997), and tomboyishness loses transition males often become invisible its favor (Rees 1996). In the many by living as men and behaving like men FTM accounts I have read and with all in their respective communities. my informants, the word "traumatic" However, the possibility of being appears over and over to describe this discovered and treated as "less than conflict between body and mind. real" and marginalized or even being put in danger makes this path Products as Gender Props precarious (Cromwell 1999). Finally, just by being born/raised as women, Sex and gender are cued by everyday invisibility occurs simply through not appearances and behaviors, many of having their stories told (Cromwell which involve consumption in the 1999). One effect of this invisibility is marketplace. Almost all societies have a lack of accommodation in the some disposition of what material marketplace. objects are associated with men and what ones with women (Levy 1959). BACKGROUND LITERATURE From grooming rituals to dress to interacting socially, products are central Sex and Gender in the FTM Context to enacting gender roles (Rook 1985). Sexuality, often the medium through The femininity and masculinity which people define and are conscious dimensions of gender are subject to of themselves, is obsessively pursued active construction, and are distinct by consumers in the marketplace from sex, which is usually treated as a (Fausto-Sterling 2000). In short, people given. The basic variable used to seek products and services that are identify femininity is passivity (Levy congruent with their self-perceptions, 1999), even though "femininity in all its both who they are and who they would contrivances, is a very active endeavor" like to be (Levy 1959). (Brownmiller 1984, p.16). Masculinity is seen to center around independence Transpeople are particularly aware of and confidence (Kimmel and Tissier- the constructed nature of gender, and Desbordes 2000). Masculine/feminine construct their identities through what behaviors and traits are diffusely has become significant to them associated with each sex as gender roles (Cromwell 1999). They are also (Smith 1992). cognizant of what has come to be known as the "tyranny of passing, " Gender identity focuses on the which refers to the constant need to live psychological and social aspects of up to imposed societal roles and believing oneself and being believed to expectations (Denny 1998); i.e., to fit in be female or male. Someone who the chosen sex/gender and be perceived identifies as being male but with a so socially. Appearance and dress are female body is caught in the social and central to this process. Crossdressing is psychological difficulties of seeing a the first part of the "real-life test" (from soul identified apart from its body the Standards of Care) to determine (Smith 1992). Not only do such FTMs' satisfaction with living as men individuals find demands for femininity (Devor 1998). impossible to achieve and difficult to evade, but their bodies seem to betray Healthcare products and services often them, especially at adolescence when become a critical part of and a major

325 expenditure related to FTM identity invaluable source of information. He construction. Many FTMs feel that it has not only been a helpful respondent, would be impossible to live but has connected me with several of successfully as men without the aid of his friends (all of whom I have met over medical intervention before presenting the years) who have agreed to themselves publicly as men (Devor participate in this study. 1997). This can include access to psychological therapy (part of the James is 47 years old, has a working recommended treatment and usually class background, and was born and required to get hormone prescriptions) raised in a small town in Kentucky. As and to hormones, along with the need a female, James acquired a master's for careful screening and continuous degree and work experience, and medical monitoring due to serious became a university instructor in a potential health risks of hormone small college town in the Southern US. therapy. Surgery is often undertaken, In his late thirties he began the FTM beginning with bilateral mastectomy, transition process with the and often followed by hysterectomy recommended one-year psychological (Denny 1998). Due to the difficult, therapy. He was given a diagnosis of expensive, risky, brutal and often gender dysphoria, which is defined by unsatisfactory nature of genital surgical the American Psychiatric Association techniques, many FTMs prefer various as, "a persistent sense of discomfort and sorts of prostheses (Rees 1996). There inappropriateness about ones anatomic is an emerging organized consumer sex and a persistent wish to be rid of activist movement in the ones genitals and to live as a member of transcommunity to exercise collective the other sex" (Denny 1998, p.130). power over how and what medical Then he was able to begin testosterone services are provided (Namaste 2000). injection therapy and the "real-life test," which includes cross-dressing and THE STUDY living as a man. Shortly thereafter he went to Canada for the chest surgery, This paper is an exploratory after which he passed full-time as a investigation of the consumer behavior man, keeping his position as university of female-to-male individuals. Through instructor for a few years. Because of depth interviews of several key his non-tenured position, he lost his job, informants I hope to shed light on the and began applying for similar role products play in the sex/gender positions at other institutions. transition and on the challenges and However, the school his degree was difficulties shopping presents to from refused to change his female name transmen. on his transcripts, insisting it was a matter of historical record, and after a Informants traumatic experience trying to explain his situation at a teaching job interview, Having been very close friends over a James left academics, effectively losing period of ten years or so with an FTM his credentials. Primarily because of individual before he went through the financial difficulties, he has not yet had transition, during the transition, and any lower surgery. after, I was able to witness the complex processes first hand. This informant, John is 42 from a middle class James (pseudonyms are used background, raised in a large mid- throughout the paper), has been an western US city. John has found out in

326 the last four years that he is intersexed. transition much more smoothly. For Up until this point he was told he was example, he learned to use an attorney female, but had to take female with a court order to get through name hormones since high school. John was and gender changes on personal told as an adult that cosmetic genital documents. A fourth informant had to surgery was performed on him shortly decline participation due to a medical after birth. He and James met at the crisis. Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta, a large annual gathering of Method cross-dressers (overwhelmingly men who like to dress as women After many long conversations with occasionally, but still live as men), James over the years, and based on my transsexuals (mostly male-to-females, familiarity with gender research in reflecting the actual numbers in the consumer behavior, I decided to population), and various transgendered formally investigate the FTM people. James said of the Conference phenomenon from a consumer behavior (referring to the strong MTF and perspective. Taking an exploratory, transvestite presence), "That market is holistic approach, I formulated a list of huge--lots of vendors with bra-stuffers, broad questions focussing mainly on hair removal, feminine shoes and the actual transition from female to underwear, wigs, make-up, deportment male, dealing with "before" and "after" tips…they would go on a shopping impressions regarding appearance, spree all day, organized by the clothes, and shopping experiences. The Conference. We were sort of on our advantage of using a qualitative own--short men's catalogs were approach for this project is that a available." John is a physical therapist complex situation such as that of FTM who changed jobs several times during consumer behavior can be hiding a the transition, and later moved to system of interrelated elements based another large mid-western city. He and on the underlying constructs of gender James had chest surgery at the same and sex that can only be discovered time, but John, like James, has not had through the close study of individual FTM genital surgery, mostly due to cases (Levy 1999). Each of the three medical complications. informants participated in depth interviews over the telephone, each Brad, 43, is also from a large mid- lasting several hours. western city with a middle class background. He knew John through MAJOR FINDINGS friends and met James through John. He has maintained his job as a special- In order to get a feel for the changes ed high school P.E. teacher throughout that these FTM individuals the transition. He is married to a experienced, I began by asking them to woman he began dating after his recall childhood memories regarding decision to change sexes, but before he gender awareness, dress, and social had begun the process. Brad has had situations. Then I asked informants to the lower surgery, but has not been describe their feelings about shopping, satisfied with the results and plans on grooming, clothes, appearance, and undergoing additional corrective general interaction with the marketplace surgery. He benefited from learning before, during, and after their from James' and John's experiences and transitions. From these interviews, has been able to go through the several interesting patterns emerged

327 regarding the informants' feelings difficulty dealing with them, but felt toward shopping as well as actual powerless to do anything to help the shopping behaviors. Also enlightening situation. James recalls, are the findings regarding gender construction and its interactions with "I was always wearing the wrong sex and gender identity. Problems that clothes. I felt sorry for people the informants have experienced point trying to figure out my gender. I to the deeply engrained binary two-sex felt like I stuck out--I just wanted system that pervades the marketplace. to fit in. I chose clothes that would diminish my actual sex--I looked Early Childhood for things that were neutral, a little male, acceptable to society. I From about age 4 to 5, all three would persist with my mom to get informants recall the embarrassment of me things that weren't girly or having to dress like a girl while feeling frilly." certain they were boys. Brad states, Brad has an early childhood memory "When I knew the difference that affected him deeply: between boys and girls, I knew I was a boy…. Wearing the dresses "When I knew the difference was public humiliation. It was (between boys and girls), I asked pretty miserable--you couldn't say my mom to make me a boy then. what the problem was." Her response let me know that it was taboo. From then on I knew John recalls, that it would be like committing social suicide--I would lose "I was basically able to dress like a everything if I had a sex change." little boy, but it was a struggle with my family--it was a battle. They John, reflecting on the particularly tried to dress me on Easter--I had difficult situation of being intersexed, to give in. If you put a little boy in says: a girl's Easter outfit, he's gonna feel like he wants to break out of it. It "It must have been traumatic for interfered with what I needed to be my parents. It was a mess. They doing…it didn't fit. I didn’t want were trying to do what the doctor to be seen by my male friends--to suggested and raise me as a have that on me, it was horrible." female…they were following through with the whole thing. They wanted me to fit in, and they Similarly, James remembers Easter as a wanted me to be happy…. I can't particularly traumatic event: talk about my clothing--it was so central and traumatic to what's "Easter was the peak of frilly happened to me. It wasn't meant to girliness--I had to wear patent be. I wasn't supposed to be in leather shoes…it was embarrassing those clothes. My parents thought, since the other boys saw this and 'We're going to make this work--if they were in their suits." we socialize the child as a girl, it will be a girl.' Everything was out Informants expressed concern of whack. If something doesn’t about their parents and others having change, you just can't take it

328 anymore. Inevitably, something looks. I didn’t want to be will break down, it doesn’t work. perceived as a lesbian. I tried to Any type of trying to put me into minimize that perception by not clothing that was against who I was fitting into any lesbian stereotypes was traumatic. My parents tried to where I lived--local hairdos or accommodate my wishes some styles that marked you as a lesbian. because of the love they had--it I had to be real selective. The was traumatic for them watching worst part of the nightmare was me not be the little girl they wanted buying clothes that were me to be." acceptable. I had diminished self- esteem because I didn’t like Before the Transition anything I wore--I never dressed to look good. I couldn’t even think All three informants, not deciding to go about looking muscular or sexy-- through a sex change until their late women weren't going to get the thirties, developed various ways of message I wanted to send anyway, coping with their gender/sex conflict. so I didn't even try." The fine line between not being too female or too male was difficult to Similarly Brad says, achieve, especially before androgyny was as widespread and acceptable as it "I never seriously thought of is today. James seems to have been the myself as a lesbian. I tried denial, most conscientious about it: went out with guys. I was always very conscious of my gender. "I wanted the clothes to be as plain Several times I went out and as possible. Terms like blouse (vs. bought a girly t-shirt to not look so shirt) or perfume (vs. cologne) or masculine. I wore them once and panties (vs. underwear) made me then threw them away. I dressed as sick. If I had to wear a skirt, it had plain and nondescript as I could to be a solid color. Things like with the least bows and frills. I toothbrushes, sweaters, washrags looked for androgynous things with and towels, curtains and sheets had a lack of flowery stitching. I was to fit a narrow range of colors-- conscious not to go too masculine. grey, brown, dark green, navy, or I wanted to look male, but socially black--no women's colors like pink I was afraid of it. I wanted to go as or bright or pastel colors. Mugs, close to the boundaries without salt shakers, paper towels, drawing attention to myself. In silverware--no swirly, flowery decorating my place, I made it look patterns. Geometric designs were not like a woman's touch with OK. I constantly thought about plaids, solid colors and trim things like that. I lived in small without design." towns where not much was available and there was not much John is more upset by the whole period androgyny. You would look like a of "not feeling comfortable in his skin," crossdresser or a lesbian--marginal as he puts it: women would be looked at funny. I didn't have the confidence to wear "When I was living my life as a a tie--I had always stuck out, so I female, it was so incongruent with tried to blend in. I went in what I was, that I was hiding and women's restrooms and got dirty hanging my head down. I think it

329 affected my self-esteem. You feel James' comments highlight his better when you're who you really unfamiliarity with men's clothes and are--it's a gift to be able to see the fear of social judgment: two sides, to step into the shoes of another entity, but that's not who I "I always stopped and looked at was. It was very, very hard. I am men's clothes--Sears catalogs, trying to have it covered medically. people in the street--I was always There were a lot of things going on acutely aware of men's clothes, but that I haven't explored and really I wasn't free to really look. Once in didn’t know were going on." the back of a junk car I found a bag of old green military clothes--I When asked about shopping thought I'd found a treasure. I hid it experiences in particular, the and didn't want to share it with informants repeatedly mentioned being anyone. In college I bought my embarrassed and feeling uncomfortable. first males clothes--Levis jeans and Embarrassment in the purchase context a black vinyl jacket. I got flack can be defined as, "an aversive and from my mom--she sent my sister awkward emotional state following to tell me that she was worried I events that increase the threat of was dressing like a man. It was unwanted evaluation from a real or very stressful. But going in imagined social audience" (Dahl et al. women's dressing rooms was 2001, p.474). Such embarrassment humiliating and traumatic. In increases as familiarity with a given stores, I used to have to steer clear purchase decreases (Dahl et al. 2001), a of the service people, lie, take situation common to FTMs. Emotion- things home to try on. If I found laden processing and decision-making something that fit, I was very loyal are often characterized by avoidant to it. Like Levis, I know the sizes behaviors, and tend to be more selective and how they fit. I developed store and attribute-based (Bettman et al. loyalty--if they were receptive and 1998), as was found to be the case with didn’t bug me, I'd go back. the transmen in this study. Brad states: Hardware stores, grocery stores, gas stations--if they didn’t look at "Buying underwear and bras was me like I was odd, I'd go back. I pretty gross--embarrassing and was uncomfortable as a shopper." humiliating. I generally wore Jockey sport bras so I wouldn't During the Transition have to try them on. I did a lot of shopping by mail so I could buy The period of a year or two after an clothes without the embarrassment individual begins the sex change, of checking out or trying it on. I'd known as the passing phase, is act like things I bought in the men's awkward and fraught with shops were for a gift." embarrassment as well. This period is marked with excitement and heightened John was more brief: self-consciousness. As James points out: "I had to shop in the women's department for society, but the "You have no hair on your face at men's felt more natural." first. Once it grew, I didn't want to shave it, but I did for granddad's funeral when I had to go as a

330 woman, since I wasn't passing yet one I wore was uncomfortable. I and my family didn't know yet. wore darker button-down shirts and This period was tricky--you wanted t-shirts. It was hard to pass as a 37- to wear it all, but you would get year-old man--I looked like a 15- looked at and treated funny. After year-old boy. I got carded a lot for the top surgery I could wear a t- quite awhile. I never had much shirt flat on my chest--it was a big hair growth on my face, so I deal! I had to have a masculine couldn’t grow a beard, but I let it haircut. I went to a barber shop--it overgrow a little. My chest surgery was a big thrill to get to go--an in Montreal was a fun, exciting ecstatic experience. I was really time. I healed right up--it was selective with dentists, haircutters really easy. It didn’t look as good who might have a reason to be as I wanted, but it was a relief." suspicious, especially when I first started transitioning. Technically, After the Transition you are supposed to dress, socialize and work as a male from day 1 of Currently all three informants are living the transition. But I didn't want to very happily as men. Their attitudes draw attention to myself. It was a toward shopping have changed greatly. progression, like through puberty. They feel better about themselves and You want to go whole hog, but their appearance, and now have a your body doesn’t look right, so it chance to explore the male world. takes some time to build your male However, they had to go through a wardrobe without drawing process to get there. James reflects on attention to yourself. Shoe sizes his early years as a man: were really difficult--the European sizes have helped; I didn’t want to "At first I had an imprinted appear stupid. I had to be impression from youth about what observant and notice things and not said 'man,' even though it wasn't appear to be clueless as a 40-year- stylish. Any new styles looked old male. I would try things I sissy to me. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t know what the name stood was stuck in an old movie. I for, to see what it was and if I liked thought men should wear clothes it." that look like a man. Shirts with swirly European patterns I don’t Brad's experience highlights one of the like--I went for the straight-up main difficulties encountered by FTMs: masculine. When I was younger, I to pass as a grown man. This has been didn't get to have things like high- referred to as the "imitation man look," top Converse tennis shoes--they in which a transitioning FTM looks say 'man' to me--so I had to go out diminutive, like a small boy in his and get them. They hurt my feet, father's clothing, cute but not so I don’t wear them, but I had to authoritative. There are publications have them. Getting a pocket watch with tips for the FTM to look older was a rite of passage--every classy (Garber 1992, p.44). As Brad states: man owns a pocket watch. And suspenders and vests--I could never "I wore a loose t-shirt and a shirt wear them as a woman with over it. I made a latex 'packy' to breasts. I got a suit and tie and wear in my pants--I created a wingtips for going out. I had to get pouch in my underwear. The first boxers and Old Spice cologne--

331 things my dad wore. But suits are Now all three informants are more not comfortable, boxers bunch up, comfortable about shopping and more and Old Spice smells too heavy secure in their masculinity. They are and strong--I don’t like it. I'm not more focused on their personal styles comfortable in men's dress clothes. and less on gender stereotypes. This A suit is a $300 investment that sits can be seen in John's reflections: in your closet. I'm more casual; so now my mind kicks in over image. "Now I walk more confidently, In your mind you make hold my head up, act in a more adjustments, you have to have a self-assured way. Pink shirts still reality check. In a sense, I've been stick out with some people. frozen in time with the 1950's and Personally, I like all colors. I kinda '60's styles. I had to get over that, I go with what I like--I like white had to find clothes. A lot of the old and blue. I'm grateful to God that I smells and styles passed out of can be the man that I always have favor after wearing and trying been. That makes me comfortable. them. I've gone towards outdoorsy I need to do a whole lot more styles. I bought a book, The connecting with other intersexed Modern Man's Guide to Life, it has people who have gone through stuff in it about folding clothes and what I did. It would be a comfort luggage and all kinds of things. I to know that others had these had a problem with sizes--even feelings. I was so grateful that the now I don’t know what 40Long is. movie 'Boys Don't Cry" was made Buying things to fit is still a paying tribute to Brandon Teena. challenge." It was hard to watch, but it was trying to make a difference. I don’t Brad remembers buying certain items mind crying now--I feel that tears of clothing that were central to his male and expressing your feelings are identity: something that people can appreciate." "Plaid, button-down short-sleeved shirts are totally butch--I couldn't Brad can now express himself more wear them then, so I do now, even honestly as well: though they're geeky. I went through a phase of buying blue "Now I'm not afraid to get cutesy dress shirts. I bought quite a few, things. I used to associate them more than I wore, because they with being feminine. Like flowers, were taboo before. I got suits and I'd mow over them--I associated suit jackets and a certain style of them with feminine. Same with semi-formal dress shoes, but I birds. Now I grow flowers and didn't really wear them. The first have birds as pets. I'm not afraid to doctor I needed to go to I had my buy something now and say I like wife go first and ask if he'd feel it. I always liked 'Piglet' things comfortable and interested in (from Winnie the Pooh)--now I get seeing a transsexual (a friend). If I them--to collect, not wear. had gone first, it would have taken Shopping is more free, more fun. I them off-guard. I did that at like going in the men's department. Walgreens to change my name for I don’t mind going in the women's prescriptions, too." department for gifts for my wife. I don’t mind buying tampons--

332 they're not for me, so there's no what looks good on a man. Now I humiliation." go to regular people to get my hair cut and car fixed." James is also more in tune with himself in the marketplace: Also, female-to-male individuals still experience some problems working, "Now I make more educated socializing, and shopping as men, as purchases, based on new smells revealed by James' comments: and styles and what I like. I buy things that aren’t too harsh--a lot of "Blue collar men are disposable in the men's products irritate my skin, the job thing--like construction, if so I have to make concessions and you get hurt or toxicized you're buy things for sensitive skin. If supposed to tough it out. Workin' something irritates me or is too and sweatin' next to other guys, expensive, I won’t put up with it--I though, gave me a chance to be don't want the 'Corvette syndrome' around real men. Everything is a that a lot of guys have. I have sensual experience to blue collar grown to not stereotype; guys--they don't go beyond this. intellectually, I can accept that, but They're more physical and I'm guarded about being a man-- absolutely male/female oriented. I'm still insecure. I need masculine But it is difficult to hang out with projects. Before, I bought things to men--I don't have the background-- minimize my femininity; now, I sexual slang, stories, sports. I don't shop for clothes that enhance and have the experience of jack-offs, complement my gender--things that prostate exams, wet dreams, sexual will make me attractive to the exploits, hard-ons, and dating as a opposite sex and make women turn man. I have to be careful what I their heads. I can explore being talk about. I miss a lot of jokes. attractive! I'm tuned into ads that Penis lingo is hard for me. I don’t promote sex appeal, but I am do well at 'guy' conversations--I limited by my finances. I used to don’t have the lingo, so I present observe like a spectator, now I'm a myself as an intellectual, I listen a participant! I used to hate to shop, lot and say, 'yeah.' I say I was now I have a whole new shopping married when I was younger so experience. I feel comfortable they don’t think I'm gay. It's when I'm shopping. I am difficult to repeat a lie the same enthusiastic about shopping. I way each time--I have to rehearse would be careful, though, now if I telling the details. I’d been living in had to buy something for my an alternative lifestyle all these girlfriend not to say too much, or years before the transition, and am give away what I know. I've still in alternative category—that explored what my own style means was one of the hardest things to now, not just male-imprinted accept.” things. Nobody raises an eyebrow now when I'm shopping. I go James continues about the difficulties straight in the men's department he has faced: and let them give me advice….they can't wait to help me. Now I'm “The job market has been tough for letting women help me with shirts, me, too--you have to account for ties, colors--they've got an eye for yourself for the last 10-15 years. A

333 physical exam for a job is the worst mother you a little step further than nightmare--you have to tell them. when you're a woman." As far as problems in the marketplace go, buying clothes off DISCUSSION the rack is difficult. It's better now that the Mexicans have come in-- Several major findings from this study shorter pants are available. Shirt are quite interesting and require further sleeves are too long, watchbands exploration looking at a broader, more for men's watches are too big, and diverse sample. First, everything about my feet and hands are very small-- the shopping experience and process finding a pair of shoes to fit is a changed for the female-to-male challenge. Getting dentist and individuals as they went through their doctor records is problem due to transitions. Their role as shopper the name change, and finding a changed from unsatisfied participants, doctor for the hysterectomy has and even excluded observers, to been hard. Also, they don’t make a enthusiastic shoppers, comfortable in good, comfortable prosthesis and the retail environment for the most part. testosterone prices have gone way Their information search moved from up." embarrassed, hurried avoidance to a much more relaxed, subjective, in-store Finally, differences in treatment as process. Their purpose changed from males versus females in retail outlets finding acceptable alternatives while were noticed by several informants. minimizing certain features to exploring Brad and then James say, respectively: personal style and tastes. Their number of suitable alternatives went from few "You may get a little better service to many, as they moved from as a male than a female. Women unfamiliarity to familiarity within many seat you faster. I notice in auto product categories. Before, during and repair shops no sugar coating now. after the transition, the female-to-male As a butch female, I was treated informants were aware of and rudely, looked at peculiar. Now participated carefully in constructing service is better, more friendly. I their genders. The outcomes of this think it is more of a lesbian/gay process changed from dissatisfaction issue. I did think I would go out to and unattractiveness, leading to low dinner as a guy more, and dress up self-esteem, to the informants looking more than I do." and feeling good.

"I noticed that in the cafeteria in The social pressure to fit into given the mall they give me much bigger gender categories, accompanied by the portions. In restaurants waitresses role of marketers in enforcing the respond faster and give me more dualistic two-sex system, led to much attention and eye contact now. I anxiety, stress, and trauma for the think it's because they think you're informants. The unaccommodating gonna tip more. When I'm in line nature of retail outlets and service at McDonald's, they'll make eye providers experienced by people who contact faster and apologize more do not nicely fit into "male" or "female" for my having to wait. If I'm with categories does not represent good a construction crew at a diner, they marketing even if it might follow good react in a different way--they're segmentation practices. trying to do something for you,

334 The Internet has brought with it many Denny, Dallas (1998), Current more opportunities for FTMs to Concepts in Transgender Identity, New network, engage in word-of-mouth York, NY: Garland Publishing, Inc. about products and services available, and organize to improve their situation. Devor, Holly (1997), FTM: Female-to- One problem on the Internet, however, Male Transsexuals in Society, is that when one enters Bloomington, IN: Indiana University "transsexualism" as the search word, Press. graphic porno sites and ads pop up. This is demeaning for transpeople in the Fausto-Sterling, Anne (2000), Sexing early stages of transitioning, when they the Body: Gender Politics and the are desperately searching for Construction of Sexuality, New York, information and contacts, and NY: Basic Books. reinforces the idea that their situation is sick and depraved. There is definitely Garber, Marjorie (1992), Vested room for more education about the Interests: Cross-Dressing and Cultural transcommunity, both on the part of Anxiety, New York, NY: Routledge. marketers and society at large. This paper represents one such effort. Kimmel, Allan J. and Elisabeth Tissier- Desbordes (2000), "Masculinity and REFERENCES Consumption: A Qualitative Investigation of French and American Bettman, James R., Mary Frances Luce, Men," Gender, Marketing and and John W. Payne (1998), Consumer Behavior Proceedings of the "Constructive Consumer Choice Fifth Conference, eds. Jonathan Processes," Journal of Consumer Schroeder and Cele Otnes, 1-17. Research, December (v.25), 187-217. Levy, Sidney J. (1959), “Symbols for Bornstein, Kate (1994), Gender Sale,” Harvard Business Review, July- Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest August, (v.37), 117-124. of Us, New York, NY: Routledge. Levy, Sidney J. (1999), Brands, Brownmiller, Susan (1984), Femininity, Consumers, Symbols, and Research: New York, NY: Fawcett Columbine. Sidney J. Levy on Marketing, compiled by Dennis W. Rook, Thousand Oaks, Cromwell, Jason (1999), Transmen and CA: Sage Publications, Inc. FTMs: Identities, Bodies, Genders and Sexualities, Urbana, IL: University of Namaste, Vivian K. (2000), Invisible Illinois Press. Lives: The Erasure of Transsexual and Transgendered People, Chicago, IL: Dahl, Darren W., Rajesh V. The University of Chicago Press. Manchanda, and Jennifer J. Argo (2001), "Embarrassment in Consumer Rees, Mark (1996), "Becoming a Man: Purchase: The Roles of Social Presence The Personal Account of a Female-to- and Purchase Familiarity," Journal of Male Transsexual," in Blending Consumer Research, December (v.28), Genders: Social Aspects of Cross- 473-481. Dressing and Sex-Changing, eds. Richard Ekins and Dave King, London: Routledge, 27-38.

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Eva Hyatt is Associate Professor in the Department of Marketing, Walker College of Business, Appalachian State University, Boone, NC 28608, USA; [email protected]

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