You'll Go 'Ape' Over This Issue of Mad" Issue Of
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THE SECOND ANNUAL "YOU'LL GO 'APE' OVER THIS ISSUE OF MAD" ISSUE OF No. OUR PRICE 102 April 30' '66 CHEAP ATTENTION. BERG-WATCHERS! FIRST ... NOW WE'RE HAWKING THIS ITWAS... SECOND BERG-BRAINED CREATION! Yes, in a further effort to feather his nest, MAD'S Dave Berg has cast an eagle-eye at all the queer ducks around him and come up with another cuckoo collection of "Berg's-Eye Views". So just for a lark, buzzard down to your bookstore and take a gander at it. You'll have no egrets . until you take a swift look at the price. Then, you'll tern and cry fowl when you realize how we're robin all you gull-\b\e people blind. But that's a myna detail. You'll end up raven over this turkey! (Now isn't this pitch more than you can swallow?) AT YOUR FAVORITE BOOKSTAND—OR YOURS BY MAIL FOR 50$ use coupon or duplicate MAD ALSO PLEASE SEND ME THE BOOKS CHECKED BELOW 850 Third Avenue, • The MAD Reader • Like MAD • Self-Made MAD • MAD Strikes Back • The Ides of MAD • The MAD Sampler New York, N. Y. • Inside MAD • Fighting MAD • World, World, etc. MAD • Utterly MAD • The MAD Frontier • DON MARTIN Steps Out 3 The Brothers MAD • MAD in Orbit • DON MARTIN Bounces Back 10022 3 The Bedside MAD • The Voodoo MAD • DON MARTIN Drops 13 Stories • Son of MAD • Greasy MAD Stuff • DAVE BERG Looks At The U.S.A. PLEASE SEND ME: • The Organization MAD D Three Ring MAD • The All-New SPY vs. SPY MAD'S I ENCLOSE 5Qc FOR EACH BOOK CHECKED DAVE BERG LOOKS AT NAME PEOPLE ADDRESS. I ENCLOS• E 50c CITY We cannot be responsible for cash lost or stolen in the mails. Check or Money STATE Z ip - C o d e Order preferred! On orders Outside WHICH IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST! the U.S.A. add 10% Extra! NUMBER 102 APRIL 1966 VITAL FEATURES fi^X £/LGTM SUGGESTIONS FOR OTHER 'Some sons of brilliant fathers are such disappointments that it would seem RIDICULOUS enlightening doesn't strike in the same place twice."—Alfred E. Neuman AD IMAGES Pg.4 WILLIAM M. GAINES publisher ALBERT B. FELDSTEIN editor JOHN PUTNAM art director LEONARD BRENNER production JERRY DE FUCCIO, NICK MEGLIN associate editors MARTIN J. SCHEIMAN lawsuits RICHARD BERNSTEIN publicity GLORIA ORLANDO, CELIA MORELLI, RICHARD GRILLO Subscriptions CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND WRITERS the usual gang of idiots BRANDXED (A MAD TV SATIRE) DEPARTMENTS Pg.7 A NEW LEASE ON STRIFE DEPARTMENT The Typical Luxury Apartment House Ad 36 The Typical Luxury Apartment House 37 ATHLETE'S FEAT DEPARTMENT ABC-TV's Wild World Of Sports 27 BERG'S-EYE VIEW DEPARTMENT THE LIGHTER The Lighter Side Of Elementary School 14 SIDE OF CRAZY OTTO DEPARTMENT ELEMENTARY Bubby Lake Missed (By A Mile) 43 SCHOOL DECLARATION OF DEPENDENTS DEPARTMENT Pg.14 MAD's Lifetime-People Chart 24 DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT In A Delicatessen 6 In An Optometrist's Waiting Room 26 In A Haberdashery 35 ECCHTRA, ECCHTRA! HEAVE ALL ABOUT IT! DEPARTMENT THE NATIONAL The National Perspirer (A MAD Newspaper Satire) 19 PERSPIRER JOKE AND DAGGER DEPARTMENT (A MAD NEWSPAPER Spy vs. Spy 18, 42 SATIRE) LETTERS DEPARTMENT Pg.19 Random Samplings Of Reader Mail 2 MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT Drawn-Out Dramas ** MOVE AHEAD THREE PAGES DEPARTMENT New Board Games We'd Really Like To See 32 ON MY HONOR, I WILL BE A PEST! DEPARTMENT ABC-TV'S Boy Scouts vs. Little Old Ladies 40 WILD PUT CAMP IN YOUR CAMPAIGN DEPARTMENT WORLD OF SPORTS Some MAD Suggestions For Other Ridiculous Ad Images.... 4 Pg.27 THE GREAT MAIL ROBBERY DEPARTMENT Achieving Personal Success In Crime 12 UP-CHUCK DEPARTMENT BrandXed (A MAD TV SATIRE) 7 ""Various Places Around The Magazine BUBBY LAKE MAD—April 1966 Vol. 1, Number 102, is published monthly except February, May, August and Novem MISSED ber, by E.C. Publications, Inc., at 850 Third Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022. Second Class Postage paid (BY A MILE) at New York, N.Y. Subscriptions: In the U.S.A., 7 issues $2.00 or 21 issues $5.00. Outside U.S.A.; 7 issues $2.50 or 21 issues $6.25. Allow 8 weeks for change of address to become effective. Entire con Pg.43 tents copyright © 1966 by E.C. Publications, Inc. The Publisher and Editors will not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts and request all manuscripts be accompanied by a stamped sef-addressed return envelope. The names of characters used in all MAD fiction and semi-fiction are fictitious. A similarity with satiric purpose to a living person is a coincidence. Printed in U.S.A. LETTERS DEPT. US MAD SUBSCRIBERS BELIEVE IT OR NUTS WOULD RATHER It made me angry to read your snide joke about Philadelphia ("MAD's Mod FIGHT THAN SWITCH ern Believe It or Nuts"—No. 100). Every ... to buying each copy at a newsstand! body picks on Philadelphia. Everybody makes the same old jokes about it being such a dull city. Well, I'm sick of it, and I protest! And tomorrow morning, just as soon as they unroll the sidewalks again, I'm rushing out and mail this letter. P. J. Beneson Philadelphia, Pa. WHAT IS A BLIND DATE? I would like to congratulate Arnie MARVELOUS MODEL-KIT Kogen on "What Is A Blind Date?" (No. I think the Aurora "Alfred E. Neuman" 100). It was one of the funniest things I model-kit is marvelous. When it is as have ever read. And the drawings by sembled and painted up, it looks exactly Sergio Aragones were hilarious, too. like Alfie himself. And the poses are hilar Debbie Berliner ious. When is the model-kit of "The Fort Worth, Texas MAD Zeppelin" coming out? Martin Lipsius Ormand Beach, Fla. THE NILSON FAMILY Congratulations on your 100th Issue. I can honestly say that I've never seen MAD funnier. As I read through it, page by page, I kept laughing louder and louder. A special thanks for your superb satire, "The Nilson Family"—undoubtedly your most hilarious TV satire yet. Thom. R. Pokorni Photography by Irving Schild John Carroll University JOIN THE MAD Cleveland, Ohio It's about time somebody poked fun at TV shows that have become "sickeningly sweet". Shows like these probably give UNSWITCHABLES! people in other countries the impression SUBSCRIBE TO that we are a nation of morons. I hope that you will continue to point out the un We are MAD! Why is it that it's al reality of some of our entertainment. ways the girl who's the dog? Has Arnie Tom Rechenmacher Kogen, the writer of your biased master Northfield, Ohio piece, ever heard what girls said about HIM when they get him for a blind date? use coupon or duplicate Cheerleader (Who has taken Blind Dates) MAD Phoenix, Arizona Congratulations on your expose of 850 Third Avenue, Blind Dates. However, you included every New York, N. Y. 10022 thing except that now computers are mov • I enclose $2.00.* Please enter my name on your sub ing in on the Blind Date Field—choosing scription list, and mail me the next 7 issues of MAD with split-second timing and unquestion • I enclose $5.00.** Please enter my name on your sub able precision the same dogs we would scription list, and mail me the next 21 issues of MAD get otherwise. Randall H. Suslick NAME Charlottesville, Va. ADDRESS CITY I read with interest your article on I really have to hand it to you guys. "Blind Dates". Thanks for the warning. STATE ZIP-CODE You really tore apart a thouroughly—er— AN ABSOLUTE MUST A Future Dater. Drew Kaselow (Age 12) thuroughly—er—a real sickening TV show. •Outside U.S.A., $2.50. "Outside U.S.A., $4.25. B. W. Borysyewski Please allow 8 weeks for your subscription to be processed. We. Glen Rock, New Jersey cannot be responsible for cash lost or stolen In the malls. SSC, USNTC Check or Money Order preferred. Your article on Blind Dates may hold Great Lakes, 111. true for a lot of girls, but certainly not for Your satire of "The Nilson Family" all of them. After all, my Mother and was surprisingly brilliant, considering Father met on a blind date! that one of your staff wrote it. Wayne Rosenfeld Fred Paul THE SPY WHO CAME Springfield, Mass. Fair Lawn, N. J. IN FROM THE COLD "What Is A Blind Date?" was a Mas A FUTURE FOR MAD? quickly put a match to his full-color portrait of Alfred E. terpiece. In fact, I framed it and hung it Keep up the good work, and you could Neuman, MAD's "What-Me Worry?" kid, to warm his hands. on the wall ... of a condemned building! become the nation's top humor magazine. So if you want a picture to keep you warm, mail 25$ (or Bill Osenger John Buffum 50c for 3) to MAD, 850 Third Avenue, New York, N.Y. 10022 Burlington, Wise. Annapolis, Md. HACK, HACK, SWEET HAS-BEEN NOW YOU CAN BUILD Recently bought your "100th Issue- Big Deal!" and thought that your satire on the rash of Bette Davis—Joan Craw ford—type horror movies, "Hack, Hack, ALFRED E. NEUMAN Sweet Has-Been" was absolutely great! John Greitzer MAD's "WHAT-ME WORRY?"KID Springfield, Pa. WITH I just finished reading your disgusting satire on elderly movie actresses. It was AURORA'S CRAZY HEW pure filth and made your 100th Issue trashy.