Secrets of... The Divorce Lawyers BY MICHELLE KONSTANTINOVSKY Love is a beautiful thing. Until it isn’t. Then it’s a business thing, and that’s when the Bay Area’s power players call in the big guns, aka Certified Family Law SpecialistsAnne Cochran Freeman and Monica Mazzei, partners at renowned San Francisco law office Sideman & Bancroft. Over the years, both attorneys have seen their fair share of high-stakes cases, and they’ve helped countless couples, well, uncouple.

“It’s messy—you couldn’t starts. When those acts happen, it’s do this job if you didn’t love it,” usually an external manifestation Mazzei says. “They say divorce is of something that’s been going on in the most traumatic life experience the marriage for a long time.” besides death, and even if you’re The Business of Being Married: prepared, it’s the emotional end- “Sometimes we see this with new ing of a relationship; starting over wealth where there’s a very steep and mourning doesn’t go away.” trajectory upward,” Cochran Free- But while Cochran Freeman man says. “People in the younger and Mazzei know all the ins and generation—40 and younger—look outs of divorce court, they’re at marriage as an understanding, equally adept at helping clients not just a life partner or a romantic lay the groundwork for success- partner, but a financial arrange- ful unions. That means encour- ment and an understanding of aging clients to face personal what they’re risking and gaining. and financial issues head on, So I’ve had people come to me and resolving would-be problems as say, ‘Here’s what’s going on in my painlessly as possible. “It’s like a business and in my career,’ and they garden,” says Cochran Freeman. start thinking about what’s at risk. “If it doesn’t get tended to, if we Some people might see that as cold don’t talk about these things in and calculated; others see it as really advanced marital counseling and analyzing all the factors.” anticipate questions, they can hit Pondering the Prenup: “Among you upside the head and then you the younger generation in the have to deal with them.” Silicon Valley crowd, prenups are The Biggest Divorce Don’ts: “I pretty common, and there’s not this think the biggest mistake people negative connotation that there make is not being in the know used to be,” Mazzei says. “People during the marriage,” Cochran used to call it ‘divorce planning,’ but Freeman emphasizes. “So then if it’s really ‘marriage planning.’ Even there’s a divorce, they don’t know if you’re not coming into wealth, where their bank accounts are or now’s the time to negotiate while they don’t have online access; not you still like each other!” keeping up with their finances “We recommend at least a dis- during the marriage puts them in cussion to everyone,” notes Cochran a less desirable position going in.” Freeman. “You’re going to have a “A big mistake is also timing,” premarital agreement whether you Mazzei adds. “Don’t wait until draft one or not—California drafts things are in crisis. If you have an one for you. It determines what’s inkling that a divorce is possi- community property, what’s sep- ble, consult a family law attor- arate property if you get divorced, ney. Don’t think of it as seeing whether you get spousal support, a divorce lawyer. Think of it as and all these factors. Do you want arming yourself with informa- California dictating what happens tion. The most control you have in the event of a divorce or would is when you’re married, both in terms of child into play in California divorces. Most judges you rather have a hand in crafting it yourself?” custody and finances.” won’t even know that information. And there are Parting Wisdom: “I always like to ask people, California Fault Lines: “California is a no-fault all sorts of infidelity. We see financial infidelity— especially people caught up in the minutiae, to state, which means you don’t need consent from that’s doing something with one’s money or com- close their eyes and tell me how they picture their the other person; one person can get a divorce,” munity property without allowing the other per- life in five years,” Cochran Freeman says. “Most Cochran Freeman says. Another divorce quirk son to know, spending it or putting it someplace people have a clear picture. Then every step we unique to the Golden State? “Affairs don’t come the other person can’t reach it once the divorce take has to be in support of that vision.”

When a wealthy A well-known celebrity owed Sure, some people THE MESSY TRUTH financier filed for a multimillion-dollar payment have a tough time The legal dynamos always aim to keep things divorce, his wife to his ex-wife in their divorce finding true love civil—but sometimes divorce gets nasty: wasn’t so keen on his settlement, but he insisted on (several clients are quick dive back into paying $200 of it in pennies. repeat customers, After scrubbing a successful A high-powered the dating scene. Mazzei and Cochran Freeman coming to Mazzei and biotech exec’s electronics, Silicon Valley Arriving at the pulled the plug on that idea. Cochran Freeman for Mazzei and Cochran executive spent more airport for a romantic all of their divorces). Freeman discovered why than $25,000 battling Bahamas vacation But some eventually his wife felt blindsided by his one-time bride for with his girlfriend, he get their fairytale the divorce: He’d been their antique four- discovered his soon-to- ending: One couple living a double life with an poster bed. Once the be-ex had hacked into wound up remarrying international “courtesan” divorce was finalized, his email and canceled a decade after their escort, dropping $10k–$14k he set it ablaze in his everything from the divorce. for each weekend getaway. backyard. flight to the hotel. SEAN PEDRUCO

22 JUNE 2017 | NOB HILL GAZETTE