By Susan Soon He Stanton Represented by Gersh Agency
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WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO JOHN BOY KIHANO? by Susan Soon He Stanton Represented by Gersh Agency [email protected] David Rubin 917.679.5566 [email protected] 310-205-5819 PAGE 2 CHARACTERS JOHN KIHANO A Hawaiian-Chinese fisherman in his mid-forties JAYDN KIHANO His wife, Chinese LANI KIHANO Their daughter, sixteen KAWIKA KIHANO Their son, fourteen JOHN BOY KIHANO Their son, five WENDALL LUM A fisherman and John's childhood friend SANDRA LUM His wife and Jaydn's sister DICKIE BOY LUM Their son, seventeen SHAUN WIGHT Lani's boyfriend SLIM LEE A Policeman and first-cousin of Jaydn and Sandra TIME Anytime from late 90’s to the present. LOCATION Various locations on Oahu, Hawaii. PAGE 3 ACT 1, PROLOGUE: THE REEF (JOHN KIHANO, 40’s, a Hawaiian- Chinese fisherman, deeply tanned, walks on stage. He wears a thin, tattered tee-shirt, paint-stained pants, and slippers. He carries a fishing pole and bucket. He leads JOHN BOY, his five-year-old son.) JOHN You know how it goes. You don’t know? Nobady wen tell you? (John Boy shakes his head.) Kay den. (John turns over his bucket, transforming it into a drum.) JOHN I going tell it from da beginning. From da real old kine times. (John teaches John Boy how to beat the drum as he chants his version of The Kumulipo, a Hawaiian creation myth.) JOHN Cuz you know, at da start of all tings, there was noting but wada, dead and dark and still. Until da sun came and filled da world wit light. Den da sun get dark so da moon could shine. Wit da moon, came da tides and da fishes. Da ocean wen move, wen ebb and flow, den churn and boil. Dis was da time of night. Da night wen give birth to man and woman, born in da form of Kane, molded by Kane from dark, red earth. Da Gods enta; man cannot enta. Time wen pass. Da earth wen get created in full. Man enta, da Gods no can follow. Born was da children of man. Man wen create one home on da islands of Hawai’i. Happy, he stay. Happy, he pay his taxes. He change his oil. He fix his roof. Happy, he stop fo listen to da Gods and try fo listen to his wife. He tink he doing good. He try become one family man. He fails. PAGE 4 ACT 1, SCENE 1: SUNDAY DINNER - KIHANO’S GARAGE (The lights brighten on the interior of the Kihano garage, an open and clean space with a folding table and chairs, the typical “Hawaiian style” dining room. WENDALL, SANDRA, their son, DICKIE BOY, sit in slippers around the table, drinking beer and eating food on small paper plates with chopsticks. JAYDN, mistress of the house, graciously offers everyone more food.) SANDRA Full already. WENDALL No worry, Jaydn. It's not your cooking or nothting, your sista stay on one a her “diets.” DICKIE BOY Mom, no can help, already. SANDRA God Funit, Dickie Boy! You like me slap you upside da head? (To Jaydn) It’s dis new diet. You eat plenny food but you drink lotsa water. Dis one haole girl from New Jersay, she wen lose thirdy pounds. JAYDN Where’d you hear about dat junk kine stuff? SANDRA Not! Was on Oprah, you know. JAYDN You look good! No need diet. WENDALL Afta da last ting Sandra wen watch on tv, she covaed her legs and stomach wit plastic wrap and wen walk around da neighbahood like she one chicken drumstick on parade. I was so shame. SANDRA Only try look good fo you! PAGE 5 WENDALL She ax, “Wendall! You tink my okole look too big?” “No, honey, is just big enough.” SANDRA You betta watch it. DICKIE BOY No can help but watch it. JAYDN You tink you funny, hah Dickie Boy? Wait till I tell you maddah what Slim wen tell me. DICKIE BOY Just kidding, eh Auntie? JAYDN Dickie Boy get pull ova fo one dewy [DUI] ticket and he stay so drunk he fell outta da car wen da cop wen open da door. DICKIE BOY Auntie, no need tell. It happens to da best of us. SANDRA Shaad up, you. (To Jaydn) Den wat? JAYDN You neva going believe dis. He wen trow up on da policeman. SANDRA WAT?!-- DICKIE BOY I neva-- WENDALL Sonny boy no can hold your beer? DICKIE BOY I came from one frat party, eh? Plenny chicks wen buy me choke beers. JAYDN Try wait, try wait--best part. Da cop said, “Eh, Dickie, dat you?” He wen trow up on his own uncle. (Jaydn, Wendall, and Sandra howl with laughter. Dickie Boy sulks.) PAGE 6 WENDALL You lucky bastard, you get Slim. DICKIE BOY Uncle Slim tink he so smart, tink he can teach me one lesson. He didn’t give me one ticket, he trew me in da slamma ova night. (John and John Boy enter. John Boy carries a bucket.) WENDALL John, bout time! Hungry enough to eat Dickie Boy ova here. SANDRA John Booooy! So cuuuute! You catch da big fishie-wishie all by youself? JOHN BOY No. JOHN John Boy’s one good fishaman, only he get so excited, he scares away all da fish. JOHN BOY I get one baby fish fo my tank. (John Boy shows Jaydn the bucket.) JAYDN Get Kawika help you put em in one tank and call your sistah, it’s late. (Louder) She know she s’pose help make dinnah. JOHN BOY Lani! Mom wants you. Kawika, I get one fish! Come see! KAWIKA LANI (Off-stage) (Offstage) WAAAAT? WAAAAT? JAYDN (yelling) Hui! Get your okoles out here and close da TV. Your maddah is not one slave you know. (John and John Boy exit.) SANDRA John Boy’s growing up so fast. PAGE 7 JAYDN Did I tell you he made honor roll again? Dey put him in da shark class. SANDRA What is dat, “shark” class? JAYDN Da kids get divided into mahimahi, dolphins, and sharks. Da most akamai kids is in da shark class. SANDRA Ohh, too good dat boy, eh? If only Dickie Boy could be one shark, yah? DICKIE BOY High school’s lot harder, you know. WENDALL Wen you going buckle down? DICKIE BOY Dad...not here. (John reenters carrying a large fish.) WENDALL Holy smokes. You wen out, just you and John Boy, and brought dat sucka in? JOHN John Boy’s good luck. SANDRA Wat’s da big deal? DICKIE BOY Like see you try. SANDRA Bollohead, if cannot catch, just go Chinatown. (To Jaydn) I get plenny kine connections at Maunakea Market you know. DICKIE BOY Gross. WENDALL John, try fo explain your secret to my wife. JOHN Dere’s no secret. Is not technique, it’s skill. PAGE 8 DICKIE BOY Uh...same ting, hah? JOHN Dat's where you wrong, Dickie. SANDRA Hoah, dat’s one surprise. WENDALL Quiet eh? Get some respect fo da masta. (The group quiets and turns to John.) JOHN Da men who’ve been fishing all deir lives are like ghosts. Dey know da ocean like it’s a part of deir body. Dey feel da current and da color of da water an den dey know what kine fish is going come next. It comes from da senses. WENDALL (To Dickie Boy) You neva going have what it takes. DICKIE BOY You neither. (Jaydn and LANI enter with more food. KAWIKA, Jaydn’s son, slumps behind, holding his sketchbook. Kawika and Dickie Boy greet each other with a complicated handshake. The following conversations should overlap and flow naturally. ) DICKIE BOY Sup Kawika, my man. (To Lani) what, no hello? SANDRA (To Jaydn) Hoah, tank god da girls are back. Dese guys act like dey get gills already. (Sandra notices the food) PAGE 9 LANI (To Dickie) Already seen your ugly face. SANDRA Too much! DICKIE BOY At school. You brother’s got mad skills. WENDALL Too bad good cooks don’t run in da family. LANI Kawika just draws comic books. SANDRA Who need learn fo cook wen Jaydn around? KAWIKA Just? WENDALL Just once it’d be nice to come home to a house full of good smells. To open da fridge to someting odda dan leftovas. LANI It’s good but don’t you trace em? SANDRA EH! Where is da law dat says you cannot cook fo yourself? DICKIE BOY Dat was cold, girl. Kawika’s Iron Man’s got mad flair. JAYDN Wendall, I’ll teach you to make simple kine stuff. KAWIKA I totally reinvented da costume. PAGE 10 DICKIE BOY Wouldn’t ‘spect you to undastand. JOHN Jaydn, nobody’s going learn to cook noting wen you around to do it. LANI Hoah, sorry eh? Soooo sensitive. SANDRA Fo reals. Everyting taste more betta on da second day anyway. (Jaydn notices John’s catch) JAYDN John! Da fish stay on da dinner table. SANDRA Yeah, whatchu trying do, make us sick or someting? JAYDN Lani, go clean da fish. LANI I don’t wanna touch em. It's gross. (Jaydn gives Kawika the fish.) JAYDN Big cooler. JOHN Lani, since wen does fish bodda you? DICKIE BOY It’s not da fish Uncle, it’s da fish smell. She don’t wanna hauna up her hands now dat she get one daaaaaaaaaaaate. (Lani gestures to him to stop talking. Dickie Boy smiles.) DICKIE BOY Da whole school know dey togetha even if nobody wen say it.