Issue No 798 9 December 1993 íBare ^J^acts University of Surrey Students' Union Newspaper Another Nail in the Coffin for Lords a-leaping about Higher Education students' union reforms s if Students' Union Refonns wasn't Aenough, last week's Budget brought n Tuesday 7th December, David Vincent, Students' Union President, the Rev Ian more bad news for the plight of students OFisher, the University Anglican Chaplain and myself were invited, courtesy of with the announcement of a 10% reduc- the Bishop of Guildfwi to attend the second reading of the Education Bill in the tion in the grant level as of next year. Oh, House of Lords. This is the 13th Education Bill in 14 years but the Govenunent still and what a surprise, we can make up the does not appear to have got it right shortfall by acouing more debt in the The Bill, presented by Baroness Blatch, the Government's Education spokesperson form of an increased Student Loan. for the Lords, received almost unanimous condemnation by all parties in the House. Never were there more incentives not to The Bill is in two parts, the first concerning teacher training and the second, students' go into higher education! The effective- union reforms. In her speech concerning the second part. Baroness Blatch referred to ness of your Union may be negligible, the the principles behind the reforms: personal choice, democracy and accountability. usefulness of you grant will be minimal, Personal choice basically means the voluntary principle the Government is so fond of your right to voice your opposition to espousing, meaning that instead of students being automatically members of the Government legislation will be gagged students' union with all the rights of access that this guarantees, they would have to along with your naticmal voice, the NUS. 'opt in'. Core and non-core services (not actually mentioned in the Bill) were frequently referred to and Baroness Blatch suggested that those areas (ie clubs and societies) which were outside the core could be organised voluntarily by students, AT And as if that wasn't enough to be getting STUDENTS' EXPENSE! This is at the same time as the Government is reducing the on with, those 'barstewards' at the treas- student grant by 10%! ury have decided to let you pay your own tuition fees as well from 1995! Yes, the The democratic principle concerns codes of practice and guarantees to which we principle of free education for all has well believe our students' union already adheres through its Constitution. and truely bitten the dust for good - thank The accountability principle is for the benefit of the taxpayer, to ensure that public you Mr Portillo. A document leaked to funds (ie taxpayers' money) are spent only on areas as specified by the Secretary of the Guardian earlier this week stated that State for Education (ie the regulations which have still to be written!). "It was agreed that resumption of expan- The consultation period, supposedly taking account of the thou^ts and opinions of sion of Higher Education - currently the National Union of Students (NUS) and the Committee of Vice Chancellors and planned for the 2nd half of the decade - Principals (CVCP), appears merely to have been a cosmetic exercise. The Baroness would require some form of graduate seemed to dismiss the deep-seated fears of the CVCP and the NUS that tracking public contribution to tuition fees..." funds to ensure they were spent only on core areas would be completely unworkable. The first speaker to reply began by assuring Baroness Blatch of the whole House's heartfelt sympathies that she had to present a Bill which was complete "rubbish". He It has been estimated that an average also congratulated the Government in uniting the whole academic community of this student, graduating at the end of the dec- country against this piece of legislation. ade, may well leave University carrying Only one person, Baroness Cox, spoke in favour of the Bill, although she seemed to the heavy burden of £7,000 wwth of get confused about her facts and was unable to completely justify her support for the debt. In real terms, that amounts to about Bill. The general feeling was that the whole House of Lords was against this half a graduate salary, that is of course if legislation and several speakers commented on the unworkabiliiy of the proposals, the you manage to acüially get a job! But Government's seeming inability to listen to sound advice, the 'posturing dogma' and don't worry, the Government is currently 'Union bashing', the invasion of university autonomy and the shear 'vandalism' of a planning amendments to the 1990 stu- Bill which proposes to render students even less able to control their own affairs. dent fees legislation to allow you to take Many speakers suggested that the Government would be wise to simply withdraw the out yet another Student Loan to cover the Bill in its entirety and concentrate on more worthwhile legislation. All speakers extra expense! Considerate aren't they?! suggested that many amendments must be made in the committee stage of the Bill before it can become law. Come to the GM and air your views on Following the debate, Louise Clark, Press Officer for NUS said that we must be all these issues. Write to your MP ex- encouraged by the reaction in the House of Lords and also that we must keep up the pressing your disgust. I know we keep pressure on Tory MPs to ensure that the Bill is either thrown out completely or is asking you, but if we are even to have a amended drastically in favour of students' unions. The campaign is not over yet! hope in hell of defeating these issues we need to act now. Rachel Davison - Communications Officer Sore Parsons - VP

Established 1968 Tel: (0483) 509275 Fax: (0483) 34749 Dear Editor Dear Editor

My advice to anyone thinking of buying I am writing, as the person responsible a control card for the laser printers in the for the University's telecommunications, Mac Lab of the Mullens Building is - in response to Üie anonymous letter in think bard before handing over your last week's Bare Facts regarding student money. telephone services.

Perhaps it would seem inconvenient to Rrstly and most importantly, it is not some, it certainly does to me, to insert correct ümt callers can be put through to your laser printer control card and find the residences if they ring the Security someone else's woiic subsequently print- Emergency number, as it is not (»nnected ing on the machine, deducting credits to the switchboard. Thb line should from your control card (costing 9 - lOp NEVER be used for anything other The views expressed on this puge are each). than onergency calls. personnl views and d(» not necessarily represent those of the editorial l)oard You could, of course, complain to the Next, I would like to point out that the or the Students* L'nion. member of staff at the Mullens Building impending change of the direct dial num- receptiwi and be relatively assured of ber prefix was originally publicised in the The ICditor reserves the ri^lit to «lit getting swne free credits to account for October issue of Surrey Matters. At that ail letters. your loss, I know I did. stage the exact date of the change was not known, but it was indicated that it would Dear Editor But short of getting up at 6 o'clock in the probably be in December 1993. Sec-^^ mcMiimg and using the Mac Lab wben ondly, the University is paymg BT to^p no-one else is there in order to check that provide an intercept, so that any caller The passengers travelling in the majority dialling a Guildford '509' number will be of the Union minibuses are in grave dan- no mac computer has a "print job" wait- ing for a control card to eat up -wben can advised that the number has changed to ger eacb time they board sucb a vehicle. '259'. I appreciate that the change will I refer, primarily, to tbe seating arrange- any laser printing be carried out? In fact I think I will do this. It is my only option. cause a certain amount of inconvenience ment in these vehicles. The two bencbes, to all users of DDI numbers, but it will arranged along the sides of the vehicle, save the University a lot of money, and perpendicular to the direction of travel, Kate Oliver will also increase tbe number of lines are inherenüy unsafe. Under anything a>^able for calls to the residences dur- but the genllest of deceleration, the pas- ing the evenings and weekends from 28 sengers en these benches tend, due to Dear Editor to 60. iheir own inertia, to lean towards tbe front of the vehicle. Coupled with the absence of any sort of restraint for the In reply to last week's "pissed off final With regard to the sugestión about em- passengers (i.e. seíUbelts); anyrequire- year who doesn't get many phone calls", ploying an operator in the evenings, a ment for hard braking by the dnver, or a we would like to point out a slight dis- student is already employed in the eve- collisicMi, would doubtless lead to head crepancy in your letter. You obviously nings to assist (^ers. However, it seems injuries teing sustained by some passen- haven't used the phone system very that many residents have not advised gers. much during tbe "social hours" of 6 and their friends and relations that they need llpm, because if you had, you would In addition to the lack of safety features to use a touch tone phone or tone gener- have discovered one of two part-time em- ator to use the automated service effi- in the vehicles, the drivers themselves ployees operating tbe extension system mustbeconsidered With relatively un- ciently. At present too many people are manually (on average receiving about 50 relying on this backup service, and tbey^^ proven abllitíes behind the wheel (con- calls an bour, redirected to those pc^ular sidering the lives of 16 people are cannot all get through to the operator at^P people on campus who actuadly get busy times. The other reascm callers dc effectively in tbeir hands) and ihe behav- phone calls). iour of some passengers (can you think not always get through first time is be- of anything more distracting for a young cause, as your correspondent correctly driver than 16 drunk passengers?). Ob- Have you thought that the reason you're points out, a gre^ many calls come in viously, when combined, these ^ints not getting any phone calls might be be- during the evenings. As such, extensions add up 10 create more negaiive variables cause no-cHie tries to phone you? Oh are quite likely to be engaged, which in the safety equaticxi. well, never mind eh...?! would still be the case even if the answer- With two well publicised, recent trage- ing service was provided via the switch- dies involving minibuses, it is timely for On the matter of losing out on job offers board rather than the automated the Union to pre-empt legislaüon, by in- due to prospective employers not being attendant. sisting on the installaiion of forward fac- able to get through, most businesses op- ing seats, fitted with safety belts for each erate between the hours of 9am and 5pm Richard Paxton (the Accommodation passenger and iniroducing a more rigor- during which time if you call 0483 and (Conference Manager) and myself ous training/certification regime for po- 3008S) you will be connected to the uni- give a great deal of thought as to how we tential drivers of the vehicles. versity switchboard automatically. can provide the best possible telephone As a minibus driver and passenger, I Please research your facts a little better smice to students at an economic cosL would certainly welcome such measures. before you start complaining about I am sure that tbe m^ority of other stu- something in future. At present a new outgoing call service dents would agree. Surely theminimum and an increase in the number of calls fínancial outlay required to acbieve these which can be answered simultaneously goals is fár outweighed by the improve- Lots of Love, your friendly manual on 259393 are under active considera- ments to tbe safety of the passengers of phone system operators, Ruth Stan- tion, and steps are being taken to enable the minibus fleet ton and Raj Pangrekar the student operator to handle more calls than is possiMe at present. P.S. Is it really cheaper to phone after Jonaíhan Powell 6pm? Gosh, we didn t know that.... Yours sincerely, Janet Bell (Assistant Secretary) Dear Editor Dear Editor Dear Editor

I am wriling in response to the article in I am really not impressed with Security's Most people like music, they grow up last week's edition "Sport can give you a attitude, though in the past I have found with it^ find a particular taste and as time headache". The aims of the "Mark Davis them courteous and helpful, today they progresses maybe even find new tastes. Injured Riders Fund" are very laudable, were incredibly rude. So why does this process suddenly halt and I am sure most people would agree This morning (Samrday) 1 was one of when they come to University? We have that those who participate in sporting ac- those sad people who managed to make seen countless times how popular the tivities should be protected from injury. it to the launderette at 8.30am. What was Friday Nights Out are - maybe because However, I find myself at odds with the the point? At 9.05, Security still was not (and it is not a bad thing) you will hear open letter the organisers of the talk in- there. I came back to my room very cold your fave tunes played, and you can have tend to send to I^g. At a time of eco- and disgruntled, and phoned Security to beer until 2am. It is the perfect recipe for nomic hardship and with its finances in politely ask where they were. They said, a Friday night, and you can relax after a decline, should Rag be asked to support quite casually, that they were on the way potenti^y stressful week. The thing that another charity? now. No explan^on. I started to ex- baffles me is that so few people attend the plain whythiswasn'tgood enough. Half Free Sunday Night bands. Every Sunday Charities these days are two a penny, but in the soci^ surroundings of the Union there are only a few which the majority way through my first sentence he stopped me, said "It's nothing to do with me" and you can watch many bands make their of people would classify as being truly way to bigger things. Most of the bands deserving of our hard earned savings. put the phone down. Nowhere else would people be treated of recent years have started off in this Feeding the starving of the Third World, lowly fashion, but many times it actually providing additicHial care for the sick in like this, but somehow students are treated differently; it seems to be the works for them and you can say to your our own country or protecting the rain- friends that you saw them in their forma- forests of South America come to mind. same throughout the various services on campus. Well, I'm afraid that the laun- tive years. So why are so few people out At the bottom of the scale we are left with on a Sunday night? what can only be classed as minority derette has now lost my business. I don't believe in giving the various campus interest charities. These are deserving in Obviously it is impossible to cater for their own right, yet beneficial to a very services the monopoly they think they have. everyone's tastes. However, this year in limited number and concerning activities particular our Entertainments Officer, which are in no way essential to eveiyday Steve Herman, appears to have gone to a life. I feel that instead of campaigning to Sarah LaBaube great deal of effort to get bands to play get a few quid out of Rag, Ms Ingram and our venue that are actually very good at Ms Jeeves would be better advised to what they do. Often these bands appear petition the many well-heeled patrons of Dear Editor, at fairly high costs, and I am sure the equestrianism in this country (have you thing Steve would like to see is a full seen many East European-made cars With reference to the letter by the Turkish Union, even better, dance floor, enjoying towing h(xse boxes round Guildford re- Society in the last issue of Bare Facts, the or at least sampling some of the bands cently?) who will fully appreciate their Cyprus Society would like to clarify a currently around. He is not there to hire aims and be in a better financial position few points. bands he likes, he is there to arrange to support them. PLEASE - leave Rag to bands for US to listen to and maybe en- support those who are truly in need. The request for the removal of the flag of the so-called "Republic of NOTthem Cy- joy. It must be disheartening for bands prus" was not carried out following a to play a quite large building with only a few people on the dance floor, most of Peter McEleavy decision of the CyfMUS Society. How- ever, the Cyprus Society fiilly supports whom are guests of the band. I have even this action, as it was done in a civUised heard people apologising to the bands, saying that the type of response you got Dear Editor, and polite manner and was in accordance with University rules. This flag is not was only to be expected. How long be- recognised by any international organisa- fore word gets around and we have fewer In reply to Debbie Lampon's letter tion. The only internationally recognised bands playing just because we have a bad 1) Several comments were made that us- flag is the one representing the Republic reputation? ing Shamus O'Toole's name for the of CyfMiis. I am not going to harp on about apathy, AIDS letter was racist I do not feel that As you can imagine, we are very much it is a word that is over-used and has it was racist - if someone sees this as against a flag that undemiines tK)th our become an excuse. Why not come down racist I personally feel this reflects their country ' s sovereignty and the United Na- on a Sunday and listen to some new own racism - of seeing an Irish person as tions' efforts for a peaceful solution to toons, you may like them! Kick off your being stupid/ignorant (one of the com- the Cyprus problem. week with a boogy. In future years you ments made to BF). The primary aim of the Cyprus Society is could be in the position of experiencing 2) As to the gangbang - fair enough, there to belong to all Cypriots, both Greek and a band you saw when they were making was no indication that the woman was Turkish. In this way, our generation can it big. going to be asked, but a gangbang can be send the message that we wish to live On a final note, cheers Steve - good ef- with a group of CONSENTING people, together without the dividing "Green fort! See you next Sunday? this was my point, otherwise it is rape. line" that cuts through our island. All I apologise if my opinions caused of- students, and Turkish Cypriots in par- Tim Barnes fence, but they are just that - MY opin- ticular, are more than welcome to join our ions. I didn't consider Beer Facts society in order to develop a mutual un- offensive which is why I expressed my derstanding and a spirit of cooperation. • -î ^Kü t: r T. r: T :• -...m:»; ' .-n ^^^mmn feelings on the matter, but I do respect It is therefore pointless fw third parties to îtSSsî* > • -r. g * .5 *:•%••:• ' ^ others' opinitms. All I can suggest is that intervene and try to undermine the good if people don't like RAG's image or what relations we are aiming to establish with they do/ produce - JOIN RAG - change all Cypriots, regardless of ethnic back- these things and help them in the ftiture ground or religion. with such things as next year's BEER FACTS. Cyprus Society iil-fl»! Andrea Morley. •fitr- • :>'.::iMl3>«Tlift!rttti- Chrìstmas Deadiine! You've had the Biggest Ever Pub Quiz The deadUne for next week*s Cbrìst- mas issue is Monday 13th at 930am. No exceptions. There will be personais but please Now we presenti make them Chrìstinassy.

BF will be back to normal on Thursday of week 1 next temi. Usuai deadlines Vi auiz NITI: wiU apply. J^tmas Specie Next week's issue will be out on Wednesday

In this week...

Sab bits 5 Future Events 6 BF Readers* Poll 7 Music Mania * 8-9 Join US for our regulär free-to-enter evening Culture Shock 10-11 of firn in the Lower Bar, Monday of week 10. Video Listings 12 Bar open 7pm. Quiz start time 8pm. Cinema Llsttaigs 13 Careers Column 14 Clubs & Socieites 15 PRIZES CALORE! Personals 16 AGMs & NoUces 17 Apart from the usuai winners* prize, we are Sports 19-20 ojffering you a free-to-enter prize draw which will take place throughout the evening. From the Editor... Plus prizes for: Not much to say this week, good job a) Vic's random spot prizes ccmsidering the amount of space really. Hope my anicle on the next page puts b) most impressive team name people's minds at rest about what I actu- c) the team name of the lowest possible taste ally do. 1 also look forward to reading the d) worst Joker round score results of the readers' poli on page 7. Take care, and see you next week. e) best Joker round score and the star prize of the evening: LIS "Who can heckle Vie the most award" Russian Students So come along & join us. Remember its free entry

Important Notice Life's Little Ups and Downs

The Students' Union would like to t's a weil known fact that fireestuden t bands only sound better the mwe one's had assure you that the matter of Study Ito drink. Last Sunday's band, Paperhouse, on the other band, were quite good and Placement Tuition fees is being rd only had one pint! They played the kind of music thatmade one want to promptly looked into. nish out, buy an electrìc guitar, and then spend the nextfive hours strumming funky sounds and dancing about ali over tbe place. A meeting will be held after Xmas to give you further information. That was tbe highlight of an otherwise dull weekend. After ali, doing tbe weekly shopping is nothing worth wrìting home about Despite people demanding moral rights to 'borrowing' troUeys from Teseo, a certain policewoman divulged to me that Endsleigh Insurance ste could justifiably arrest anyone nicking said artifacts. My advice, when carrying Services Ltd those hand-slicing shopping tegs, wear gloves.

Düring the Christnias vacation the To delve deeper into tbe world of irritating machines, will someone sort out those Kndsleigh ofllce will be open on the wretched vending machines. Why wOT't they take my nice, shiny copper coins? Are lollowing dutes: they radioactive or something?! list and 23rd December, 4tli and 6th January 1994 from 12-2pni only. And ilnally, will the young couple above me in Rieh House please refrain from From KKh January the office will he executing their midnight manoeuvres; the bed is very squeaky and needs oiling. open from 9ain to 5pni Monday to Friday. Dave Weeks. What does the Dave's Bit Communications Phone Numbers: A Guildford resident has been receiving calls for the security office, often in the middle of the night The security office does not have a direct dial in Officer do? extension, but can be contacted 24 hours a day on the main University number 0483 300 800, extension 2002. Only extension numbers starting with a 9 can be direct ollowing questions and criticisms dialled by prefixing them with 50 - putting this in front of any other extension number Fover recent weeks I have decided to will get a wrong number. To avoid upsetting local residents, and to save yourself the write this article to try and expl^ ex- cost of a call to a wrong number, please remember that extensions in the student actly what my job entails. residences, which start with a 4, should always be contacted by ringing 0483 509393, and other extensions, including the security office, should be contacted by ringing the The job description for tbe Communica- main University number. Finally, a reminder that the freefone 0800 number must only tions Officer as specified in the Constitu- be used for emergencies. There is only one line on this number, and calls made to it tion contains 20 points, some of them cannot be transferred to other extensions. If it is engaged unnecessarily, a caller with fairly specific, others as vague as they a genuine emergency might not be able to get through. could possibly be. As this is a new job this year, I decided that the easiest way to Behaviour on Campus: There have been several incidences of antisocial behaviour create the job from scratch would be to on Campus in recent times. These are chiefly within the residences.There is only one start with the specific aspects and then week left of this term and it is near Christmas. Wben you are enjoying yourselves, gradually develop Üie slightly more please have some consideration for others, some of whom may be doing finals. vague aspects of the job as the year goes on. Club Committee: There will be the last Qub Committee meeting of the term next week on Wednesday at 1 pm in the Nelson Mandela Room (honest). Discussions will As a sabbatical, generally I am required take place about what the Union will provide next term. So if you have any views, to attend committees as specified in the please come along and contribute. Constimtion and deputise for the Presi- dent when necessary. More specifically Elections: Lastly, sabbatical elections! Nominations for next year's sabbatical offi- as Communications Officer, I am re- CCTS open next Monday morning. If you fancy the idea of doing tbe jobs that this quired to produce the majority of the year's lot do, or if you think you could do it a lot better, then now is tbe time to consider Union's publications. Tîiese include: running for office. If you are interested, then please feel fiw to talk to the incumbent officer about their job. Nomination forms will be available from the Finance Office Bare Facts, the Union newspaper in the Union. Thecompletedformmustberetumedby 3:30pm onFriday 14thJanuary the annual Union handbook 1994. This gives you five weeks to collect your election team and write a manifesto. Surrey for B^inners A c(^y of this year's rules will also be available with nommation forms. Any tbe Alternative Prospectus questions, come and see me and I'll try to put you straight. the Professional Placement Post (In the absence of the Prctfessional Placement TTFN Dave - Union President Officer - post currently vacant).

New develojnnents include the annual campus planner (t^en over from the Ac- Sare's News commodation Office) and a mature stu- dents* newsletter. The Good News

Other specific duties include responsibil- We raised £122.10 from the sale of Red Ribbons last week, and between £4-500 from for organising the annual trade fayre the Mike Fab-CJere disco. All proceeds will be going to Guildford AIDSLine, the local in Intro Week. AIDS Helpline charity.

Tbe slightly less specific aspects include The Bad News liaison and communication with stu- dents, the University, local and national media, tbe local community and the Grants cut by 10%! Student Unions bound & gagged! Tuition Fees to be paid by world at large. I am gradually develop- students! How much further can the Government go? ing these aspects as tbe year goes on, A lot further if tbe Education Bill, which includes Students' Union reforms, goes cultivating contacts with the loc^ media through this year. We have a right to protest and demonstrate against what we think and the Ic^ council. is wrong, and I believe tiiat all of the Government measures above are wrong and 1 am exercising my right to jwotest - are you? This term I have been working with the President on the campaign against the The Worse News Government's pressed Student Union Reforms and liaising more closely with If Students' Union Reforms are p^sed as they stand, the Government will be removing NUS on student media generally. our democratic right to campaign against legislation, or indeed to campaign on anytiiing which hzqjpens to arise outside of tiiis little world known as University. Five months into the job, I am still Further details on these issues are to be found elsewhere in this week's Bare Facts. learning and to some extent still feeling If you would like to comment on these or any other welfare issues, please come to my way with the job. Your comments, Welfiu« meetings (Friday l-2pm in Nelson Mandela Room) or come to Uie GM. suggestions and constructive criticism If you are thinking of standing for VP ^ the forthcoming elections and want to know are always welcome. more, please come and see me. I will be working right up until Xmas Eve.

Rachel Davison Sarah Parsons • VP Communications Officer The 27th Annual Charter Ball '^he Charter Ball is held eveiy year in célébration of the prove on last year's ball, then why not come along to the X University being granted its charter. This will be the 27th meetings. They are held on Tuesday evenings al 6.30pm in the Ball and we're hoping to make it the best ever. Nelson Mandela Room (after Ents meetings). If you can't make it to the meetings, then pop into the Ents office (next to the As always it is the evening when the results from the Union coffee bar) and have a word or two with Steve (he won't bite sabbatici élections (which will be under way from week 2 of unless you want him to). Messages can be left in the Charter next term) are announced. This should ensure much merriment Ball pigeon hole to the left of the sports ones in the Union foyer. is had by both the winners and the losers because, as we ali know Of course feel free to harass any member of the committee any it's the taking part that counts. The students who get elected time. Weare: will be responsible few your Union activities next year. I reckon it's a great lime to get your caméras out and catch those sabs in Melanie Dodd - Chairperson compromising positions! Helen Read - Treasurer Chris Pye - Secretary The Charter Ball is basically a célébration of Surrey students, Ching San Chan - Promotiorts because there wouldn't be a University here to have a Charter Julia Fletcher - Promotions Ball without US, would there? So come along and celebrate with Adele Thomas - Promotions Lucy Doliamore • Catering the Vice Chancellor and his mates, or yours if you prefer. Kate Johnson - Catering John Baber - Catering . The ball takes place on campus, so rolling home has never been so easy. There will be a sit down meal for a limited number and Steve Herman - Arts & Ents Offlcer ( entertainment tickets for a further 600. So keep your eyes open fw more détails and make Friday 4th The Charter Ball cwnmittee has been meeting for a couple of Felwuary 1994 a date for next term. Are You Ready? weeks now and most of our plans are alr^y under way (Important things first - the bar extension has been applied for!). Melanie Dodd However, it is not too late for your input. If you have any Charter BaU Chairperson fabulous ideas or constructive comments on how we can im-

The University will be International Week holding its Week 6 (Spring Term)

Thursday • (Rehearsals for Gala Annual What is International Night)-Main Hall Week? Friday - International Gala Night - Main Hall Carol ' very year the Students* Union and Saturday - International Night Out • 1/lhe Overseas Dean organise a week Students* Union fuU of events focusing on the interna- tional students. It is an opportunity to Participation of societies is normally Service promote and appreciate ali the diverse very high, each competing in a very cultures and traitions of international friendly atmosphère for the m any awards students. and prizes that are given out during the week. 30% of the University population is over- seas students, orìginating from ali parts This year the week will be even more of the world. The Union and University special as it coïncides with Frank believe the promotion of ali cultures, Morten's Day when students from across both EngUsh and non - English would go Europe will arrive on campus to partici- a long way in enhancing our knowledge pate. Also, Valentine's Day takes place and understanding. during the week to which an International element is hoped to be attached. International Week is the annual event If you want to gel involved please attend: devoted to such aims and objectives. The preliminary schedule for the week is: International Week - Standing Com- Wednesday 15th mittee Meeting December Sunday • International Sports Day - Tuesday 14th December 1993 Sports Hall (weeklO) at 5pm International Sunday Free Band - Nelson Mandela Room, Students* at 5.30pm Students* Union Union Monday - International Quiz Night - Lower Bar Everyone is welcome. in Guildford Cathedral Tuesday - International Exhibition - Main Hall Alpay Seferoglu • Overseas Secretary, Wednesday - International Restau- Ma Khan • Union Treasurer Everyone is welcome rant - TBA BF Readers' Poll

I would greatly appreciate if you could take the time to complete the following question- naire and post it in the BF black box in the Union foyer by the end of term. The resutts of the poli will be published after the Christmas vacation. (Extra copies of the question- naire are available from the BF office.) How often do you read BF? How much attention do you pay to advertising?

Every week Alot

Most weeks Some

Occasionally Little

Hardly ever Neverlookatthem

Of the regulär features which appear every week, which What would you Uke to see more of üi BF? ones do you read (please number them from one to 13 in the Order that you read them or put a cross if you do not read them)?

Letters page Where do you usually get your copy of BF from? Sabbatical columns The Union Manoj says Bollox Court Reception The Word from the Asylum Library Music Mania Computing Unit Culture Shock Hazel Farm Launderette The Video Box What year of study are you? At the Movies First Job Spot Second C^areers Column Third/Industrial Personals Final AGMs and Notices Postgrad Sports Other (please specify) Do you look at the Ents planner; Any other relevant comments Yes No Don't forget to Sometimes Do you ever read any of the coloured inserts (besides the RECYCLE Ents Planner) in BF?

Yes (Botù J^acts Paper bins in the No

Sometimes court receptions. t only seems like yesterday since I last wrote to you, my dear readers. The fact of the matter is that, as we approach Chrisimas Ithere are fewer records sent out by the record comptes to us, the student press. This week is a dry week, I only bave three things to offer you, two of which are from the same artist.

The Future?

Music Mania is currently prepared completely without assistance, by myself. It would be nice to receive some belp, it might make the section more enjoyable, which for some I know won't be very hard. The records I review are only those sent to me, I could review all the records that are going to make the top twenty. In order to do that, I'd bave to spend loadsa' time either listening to the radio or reading all the publications that review records, and try to re-hash what bas ah^dy been said about them.

The New Year will see a couple of changes to Music Mania. There will be a couple of new sections, which I cannot announce just yet, but issue.800 will be the one to read! So keep your eyes peeled for something that might take your breath away, if you like music. BPM

Stakka Bo - Down The Drain

Record of the Week

This is the follow up single to 'Here We Go' which as a debut reached No. 1 in S weden, It has been pleasing for me to read a few top five in most European countries and No. 13 in the U.K. If you haven't already heard of the letters this week. There are people this, then I must say that you have been living under the covers for the past month. out there in the big bad world of the This Single has received massive coverage both on radio and T.V. This single could Union punters that actually enjoy Sunday be top five by Christmas, althougb I don't think it will out-sell Mr Blobby or Take nights, I know I do, but I live my life for That music. 9/10 This Sunday will be no excepticm, with a band that deserve some récognition, and The Míllionaíre Hippies -1 Am The Music, Hear Me! should get it very soon.

For those tìiat know dance music, you will have heard of tbe guy behind this.. JDanny Kipling. Danny was quoted in Mixmag earlier this year "You make your statements through your music." If this is the case, Danny's new venmre explores heavenly levels Frantasise of energy and positivity. This single is a célébration of house music, epitomising Danny' s eclectic style of deejaying, which has taken him to ali corners of the globe. These are a reggœ band from Bedford Another good reconi out this week. who have been fonned for only 2 years. 9/10 Düring those two years they have sup- ported the likes of Bushñre who per- formed bere earlier in the term. Tlieir Stakka Bo - Supermarket LP influences are stated to be 70's and 80's reggae. This is the debut album from Swedish band Stakka Bo, which will be released in the New Year. The album is great from the start to the end. Supennarket includes the From whm I have heard, this band bave a singles 'Here We Go' and ' Down The Drain'. All I can say is that this album is destined lot of excellent vibes with 90'slyricslhat for great beights. Buy it wben it's available. bave a lot of meaning in a world that has 9/10 a lot of Problems.

Genitorturers -120 Days of Genitorture Important Issues

This thrash metal album contains 10 dubious tracks and guitars. The lead guitar seems Tbeir songs cover important issues such reluctant to experiment with bis guitar playing, though peitapshe is intimidated by as Bosnia and the need for green rain and the rubber ciad lead singers, cbains attached to their waist and other body parts (I kid not add rain. Ulis band could beccane a you not!). Chart act soon, given the support of peo- To sum up, this is an album for thrash metal sado-masochists. One for the family, then. ple like US. Come down to the Union on NOT Sunday for this week's free band, and see lan Rouse 5/10 some stars of the future in the making. HèTOK CAMPUS The On-U CHART Sound Label December 1993 ancing with Mr D. The D in this instance Dis Dub, a style of music with its origins firaily entrenched in Roots. One of the most 1. THIS GARDEN The Levellers China adventurous exponents of the British Dub 2. GO! Pearl Jam Eptc scene, mixing traditional music with weird and 3. S.O.S E.P.TheShamen One Little Indian wacky sounds in this country has been the On U Sound Label, under the guidance of Adrian 4. RSVP/FAMILUS HORRIBILUS Pop Will Bat Itself infeclious Sherwood. From âge 17, Sherwood has 5. U GOT 2 LET THE MUSIC Capella Internai worked with Prince Far I and Lee S cratch Perry, 6. OPENUPLeftfjeld and Lydon Hard Hands mixing and producing a unique sound not yet experienced to a whole new audience. Con- 7. GIVE IT UP TheGoodmen Fresh Fruit stantly "on the edge" he has tumed his talents 8. INTO YOUR ARMS The Lemonheads Atlantic to mixing the music of such diverse artistes 9. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH Credit to The Nation such as Depeche Mode, Mark Stewart, Simply Red, and Nine Inch Nails to name a few. and Chumbawamba One Little Indian 10. JUDGEMENT NIGHT LP SAMPLER Various Epic One of the most exciting collaborations to find 11. DIVINE HAMMER The Breeders Rutfness its way to the dancefloors over the next month 12. SHAMROCKS & SHENNANtGANS/WHO'S THE MAN? will be the Andrew Weatherall remixes of the House of Pain Ruifness Dub Syndicale track 2001/Ravi Shanker plus two new tracks. Their latest album, the re- 13. WHEN THES-GOES DOWN Cypress Hill Ruff House cently released TEchomania" has ils music in 14. MOVIN' ON UP M-People Deconstruclion Roots but with sights set far into the future. 15. LimEFLUFFYCLOUDS The Orb Big Life Consequently, Andrew Weatherall, himself BOOM! SHAKE THE ROOM Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince Jive no stranger to the mystique and attraction of the 16. far side and Dub music, his work eaming him 17. TEXAS COWBOYS The Grid Z.T.T. the tag of being or»e of the most innovative DJs 18. RELAX Frankle Goes To Hollywood Z.TJ, aroundtoday: "On U Sound has been a major 19. SEXTYPETHING Stone Tempie Pilots Atlantic influence with what we are trying to achieve with our own label Sabres by stay ing out of the 20. FALL OF LOVE (HAPPY NOW) The Wonderstuff Polydof mainstream with an Independent label and pro- 21. GOTTO GET IT Culture Beat 4 A.D. ducing the best sound with all our artists." 22. BIG TIME SENSUALITY Bjork One Little Indian 23. THEKEY/NOCOMPLY Senser Ultimate Look out for the ON U SOUND Party Night at 24. ONE LOVE The Prodìgy X,L the London Astoria 2 on Friday 19lh November where AFRICAN HEADCHARGE & DUB 25. FEELS LIKE HEAVEN Urban Cookie Collective Pulse 8 SYNDICATS will be playing music from their albums plus live mix by Adrian Sherwood. CHART BREAKERS As for ftjture projects we can look forward to 1994 being a bumper year for the label with 1. FUNKDAT Sagat FFRR January release of Dub Syndicale 12" 2001, 2. REAL LOVE '93 Time Frequency Internai Affairs the previously deleted Tune Boomb X Devil 3. ALL APOLOGIES Nirvana Geffen Etead - Lee Scratch Perry, followed by Jalal of The Last Poets, Little Axe with Skip McDon- 4. LOOKING FORWARD TO THE DAY C.N.N. Rhythm King ald, and from the vaults rare compilation al- 5. STUHER Elastica Oeceptive bums from Création Rebel and other artistes. A veritable music treat for those who are into Chart compiled by STREETS AHEAD the sounds of Dub combined with some great beats and an audio visual sound in technicolour. Telephone No: 081-852 8836 Compiled: November 1993

Competition Ìhis IN 3 nwK-r ctinjpcuum Ih« wcck. thal is htxwghi toyou fnHn Strccls Ah&ìrf. what swoeiKS ihcy ^ft-! The pn-yc^. are as follow«>

First Pri« : The Ti)n IVn CD smpk.s irtun ihc Uimt ahiwc: SecoiMl l*r\w : Any album Irom Uk- Nauoial 1 i»p 75 Album Oiart and a K^iìg-slccved Stn-as Alh'«J P-Shirt: » llUnì PHze : A ¿MJk of IVOt) TDK hlmk ca^^ttcs and a kwg-

i»teftse post yiwr atìESwet* » Stipeto Afaead, a Gnoti^le farfc, LONDON. SE13 TEA. Please &ixpply yOur number University. 10

Theatre Listings Travesty Of Joyce, this ho but Tom Stq)pard could notice that Lenin, James The Yvonne Arnaud Theatre WJoyce and the Dadaist Tristan Tzara were all living in Zurich in 1917 and put them all in tbe same play? Who but Tom Until Saturday 11th December, Frank Fmlay stars in "Hie Stoppard could make that play both a dazzling farce and a Woman in Black". This Gothic tale has Frank Finlay as the cleverly-contrived pastiche of The Importance of Being Ear- lawyer Arthur Kipps, who is obsessed with a curse he believes nest" to boot? And who but Tom Stoppard could upstage these has been cast over him by the "Woman in Blade". As he and a three revolutionary figureheads and that great Willsdean com- sceptical young actor try to exorcise this fear, strange things edy with a lowly consular official called Henry Carr. You may begin to happen. not have heard of him, but Can* was just as real as the other ^^ Coming up for thi Christmas Season, tbe Amaud's Panto this characters in "Travesties", and has achieved a sort of literary ^^ year is Peter Pan, starring Toyah Wilcox and Brian Ble^ed. immortality of his own, albeit of a slightly dubious nature. The show runs from 17th December to 15th January. Tickets Remember the drunken, foul-mouthed Mvate Carr who beats are available on 60191. up Steven Dedalus in the Circe episode of "Ulysses"? That's our Henry, alrighL The bizarre facts which Stoi^)ard lakes as his launching pad are as follows: Joyce helped set up a theatrical company in Zurich to perform plays in English. Hieir first The Rhoda McGaw Theatre production was "Earnest", and Henry Carr, whom Joyce had met on official visits to the consul, was chosen to play Alger- Theatre Proteus indent "Into The Woods", the Steven Sond- nwi. Immediately after üie performance, Carr and Joyce fell out heim musical, on December 9tb/nth and 14th/18th. The per- of sorts and into litigation, Carr claiming reimbursement for the formance is directed by Maggie Lilley, and comprises fair^e cost of a pair of trousers and Joyce counter-claiming for the characters and a witty, refreshing score. Tickets are available price of five tickets sold by Carr and also suing him for slander! on 761144/502054. As "Travesties" unfolds, Carr (Anthony Sher), now an old man, Civic HaU Guildford reminisces (though one suspects not always accurately) on those beady days of yore, Stoppard drawing Lenin, Joyce and Tzara into his evermwe convoluted plot as travesties of their The Civic Hall's panto this Christmas is Snow White and The real selves in the same way that Joyce travestied Carr and his Seven Dwarfs starring Maureen Nolan and Bobby Crush which boss in "Ulysses". Hius Joyce (Lloyd Hutchinson) speaks runs from 15th December to 5th January. almost entirely in limericks, scrounges money from aU and Tickets are available on 444555. sundry and bounds on and offst^e d^ing an Irish jig; Lenin ^^ (Geoffrey Freshwater), meanwhile, is desperately trying to get ^^ to Russia disguised as a deaf-mute Swede. As fw Tzara (David ^^ New Victoria Theatre Westhead)...well, you can't really parody a Dadaist can you? ( ) Dada dada ^da dada dada dada dada da^.. The Christmas panto here will be Aladdin, starring Danny La Rue, Britt Ekland and Ray Meagher. Adrian Noble's revival is an undoubted success, full of infec- Tickets for the above on 761144. tious zest It is difficult to single out individual players in a uniformly excellent production, but perhaps special mention must go to David Westhead, whose energetic Dadaist cannot The Thomdike Theatre fail to captivate. Heading the bill as tbe intradiagetic narratcx, Anthony Sher is simply superb; both as the dai^ Algernon This year, as a break from tradition, the Tliomdike are stagmg figure and the muddle-headed old C^, his performance never a version of "Joseph and His Amazing Technicolour Dream- flags. coat" with lyrics by Tim Riœ and music by Andrew Lloyd Webber.The show runs froml5th December to 30th January. This is an extraordinarily entertaining production of one of the wittiest plays in the English repertoire; its mixture of intellec- tual badinage and ludicrous juxtaposai farce is utterly un- The Redgrave Theatre missable - catch it while you can.

As is usual for the Redgrave at Christmas, instead of the usual "Travesties" continues at the Baitican till Fehuary. Check panto, they are staging 'Watership Down'. In an adaptation by national press or pick up a performance schedule for full details. Paul Todd, Katherine Whittard, Marvin Giles and John Wil- Box Office: 071 638 8891. liams star with twenty youngsters, chosen from over 100 who auditioned. Tbe show runs from 9th December to 15th January and tickets Andy Wilcock. are available on 0252 715301.

Saloni Radia MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY Lower Bar FokCub • iVIaybe Qu z Night n the Lower Bar Something m n the Lower Bar is Free Entry WEEK 10 Doors 7pm Happening? Loads of Prizes! Doors? Is it out tliere? ENTS PLANNER Entry Free! Roors ngers We cofiie

If you wish to be entered THURSDAY FRIDAY Into the draw for the cash prizes on the Draw Disco Free R m Christmas please can you write your n the Union, 9pm nartie and address on the Draw Disco back of the ticket, before DUNE 8pm ti 2am you get to the Union! Sou Cub in the Featuring PS Have a lovely Xmas Lower Bar Doppe gangers and a mer^ New Year Doors? Price? • Cheer% ^^^ Annual Stiidents' Union ^Cections Nominations will open on Monday 13th December 1993 and will dose on > Friday 14tli January 1994 for the following posts: Students^ Union President Vice President for Weifare & Education Communications Ofßcer Sports Officer Entertainments Ofßcer

and Delegates to NUS Annual Conference m-15 April in Blackpool) For further details please see the relevant sabbatical and see the Union Finance Officer Pamela Millbank for nomination forms. 4th

^re

^cadtji ?

* * Voise in Campus Residences

There have been a number of serious incidents of noise in the Courts of Residence over the last few weeks. These incidents have caused considerable distress to residents, many of whom are involved in final year project work or revising for exams in week 9 or 10 of this term.

The Conditions of Residence state that residents must:

i not make excessive noise at any time of the day or night.

ii be as quiet as possible between llpm and 8am, and not to operate any equipmeAt at such a level that it is audible outside their room between llpm and 8am.

iii not practice on musical Instruments in their rooms.

You are particularly reminded that playing loud music or slamming doors will cause disturbance to others, and that the noise (even if fairly quiet) when groups of residents gather together late at night is particiüarly annoying.

Any resident found to bè responsible for causing unnecessary disturbance to others can expect to be dealt with under the University's Disciplinary Procedures which includes the possibility of fines or eviction from residence. From now on these measures will be imposed with vigour. Further individuai warnings will not be considered necessary before disciplinary measures are imposed on those causing noise nuisance.

Dave Fisher Sarah Parsons Senior Warden Students Union Vice President 11

Student Drama Why suffer this•• • • T^he Culture Shock pages are full of reviews of professional X theatre both locally and in London, but there is an astonishing range of cultural activity going on right here on campus. In response to populär demand, there will be a new, expanded listings section in the new year incorporating full details of arts events at Surrey. And in this, the first of an occasionai series focusing on student Arts Societies, we take a look at SUDS - the Surrey University Drama Society. When you can enjoy this! The society is currently rehearsing hard for what promises to be an outstanding production of Joe Orton's outrageous sex farce, "What the Butler Saw." A t^ical rehearsal starts off with a series of extfended improvisations to get the actors in the mood before getting to grip« with the not inconsiderable de- mands of articulating Orton's dazzlingly witty dialogue whilst removing their clothes, dashing aaoss stage like demented chickens or rolling around the floor in a struggling, grunting heap. The director gamely tries to bring some sort of order to the proceedings, and from what Bare Facts has seen so far, is mal^g a damned good job of doing so. If you want to fmd out exactly which parts of Sir Winston Bob's Churchill are kept in a box on stage, make sure you catch "What the Butler Saw" in week 4 next term.

And as if that weren't enough, SUDS is about to audition for The No. I Regulato^ its next productions, to take place at the end of next term. Auditions, c^n to any member of the University, will be held on MONDAY 13TH DECEMBER at 6.30 in TBll for Alan Loosens you Bennett's "An Englishman Abroad" (a two-hander) and on WEDNESDAY 15TH DECEMBER for Peter Schaffer's farce "Black Comedy" in TB19 from 6pm onwards. If you're inter- UP a treatl^g ested in acting or directing, you should tum up on Wednesday. I can vouchsafe the members of the society do not bite, unless the script calls for it! Volunteers Required (Men under 35 years old) And finally on the subject of student drama, the 39th National Student Drama Festival, sponsored by ihe Sunday Times, Scar- To test a new drug for sleep disorder borough Borough Council and the BBC, will take place in Scarborough on 6th-13th Aprii 1994. This trial will take place during the spring terni 1994. It will involve 3 separate each of 2 weekends in the Long acknowledged as the most important source of vital new Clinical Investìgation Unit, Royal Surrey County Hospi- theatrical talent outside the drama schools, the Festival is the tal and ambulatory ree Ording in a normal environment only regulär focus and forum for student drama from the whole during the intervening week days. The remuneration of Britain. The unique theatrical marathon is packed with events package very adequately reflects the amount of time and to watch or participate in, including an exciting range of pro- inconvenience involved. fessionally led Workshops, talks and discussions, plus social events and an Open Course Acting Competilion, sponsored by Samuel French Ltd. For further Information contact ext 9701 (Prof J Arendt) or 9712 (Mrs J English). The Festival gives a vital national platfonn lo the work of scMne of Britain's most talented students, with several awards on offer. Tliere is also a daily newspaper. Noises Off, for which volunteer writers and other helpers are always wanted. University of Surrey Anyone wanting more information about the National Student Symphony Orchestra Drama Festival or the Surrey University Drama Society should contact the Arts Editor, Andy Wilcock, who will be only too Sunday 12 December 1993 pleased to help. 7.45pm in the Main Hall

Andy Wilcock Beethoven - Symphony No 7 in A minor Strauss - Orchestrai Songs Submissions to BF will only be printed Prokofìev - excerpts from Romeo & JuUet. when accompanied by a full name and Conductor - Nicholas Conran. Union card nuniben You may specify if Tickets £2 for students, £5 others, available from the Music you wish to remain anonymous in print. Dept or the Information Office. 12

***** Uimiissable. **** l'nussailable *** l'i)ubjt.a-tìi)nal)Ìe. The Video Box ** lUiinipressive. * l'nliearable. Groundhog Day (PO) **** FalUng Down (18) *** 107 mins, Starrli^ Bill Murray, Andie 113 minS) Starring Michael Douglas, Cliffhanger (15) **** MacDowelI. Dir. Harold Ramis. Robert Duvall, Barbara Hershey. Dir. 107 mlns, Starring Sylvester Stallone, Joe! Schumacher. John Llthgow, Michael Rooko*, Jan- ine Turner. Dir. Renny (Die Hard) urray, a scMt of Michael Rsh on a Harlin. Mcaffeine high, is sent by bis net- ave you ever wanted to go into a work on bis annual trip to Punxatawney Hburger bar carrying an automatic Pennsylvania to cover Groundhog Day, weapon, and complain tb^ if you had n true Christmas spirit Sly Stallone has an event which involves using a very want£^ a piece of carfboard covered in- Ibecome sick of turkey, for instance large rodent tojudge whether next year's explicably in orange slime sandwicbed tuikeys like "Oscar" and "Stop, or my harvest will be good (since chaos theory between squasbed wet buns accompa- Mom will Shoot". Here he retums to bis was discovered, this method has been nied by a bucket of ice with a dash of cola roots with a mindless action movie in used by meteorologists to replace their in it, you wouldn' t have asked for a quar- which he plays a mountain rescue expert now useless computer modelling sys- terpounder and Coke. If you were Mi- who left bis job after dn^pmg someone tems). Muiray grumbles bis way thiougb chael Douglas in this middle-class angst off a cliff. He retums to ask Turner (tbe bis routine l)roadcast and due to the icy fihn, then that's exactly what you would frígid one from Northem Exposure, who conditions, remains there ovemight. do. The film opens with Douglas sitting presumably feels right at home in ali that Waking up the nextmoming he discovers in bis car in a beatwave, stuck in a typical snow) to accompany bim back to tbe ci^, that it is not the next moming, but that it LA traffic jam, surrounded by horrible and bromes involved in rescuing survi- is the same moming, or the moming pre- American people, and getting more and vors from a snowboimd crashed plane.( vious to tbe next mwning. Confused yet? more hot under the collar. Abandoning He soon finds that the plane's occupants He fmds himself reliving the same day bis car to walk home he enters a shop and are trying to trade down cases of stolen over and over again, and even when he asks for a Coke, and on being over- m(xiey, and that the belpless surviv

AT THE MOVIES

With Pete 'n' Phil

Odeon, Epsom Road Friday 10 December for 7 Days.

Enquiries/Credit Card bookings: Guildford 578017. Advance box office open 2pin- 7pm. Student discount avail^le Mon-Thurs befwe 7pm (with NUS or ISIC card only). Screen 1 : Screen 2 : THE MAN ALADDIN (U) WITHOUT A FACE (12)

isney's latest and (to some) probably greatesL Well, we el Gibson directs himself in this diverting if somewhat Dwouldn't go quite that far but it's certainly the most fun Mweightless melodrama about a disfigured ex-teacher film that Uìe company's produced in many, many years. who helps a fatherless young boy prepare for a military Basically it' s a return to traditional Disney values - a family college entrance exam. The film is sensitively acted and film with depth, sophistication and a storyline which en- Gibbo directs with some aplomb, but (not unexpectedly) it grosses without insulting the intelligence. And, of course, shies away from the overt homosexual overtones of the the animation is lovingly executed with the ali consummate original novel. Anyway, it' s a good first attempt and Gibson skill that is Disney's trademark. Some of the jokes will fly should feel reassured ihat there will be life for him after right over the heads of the teenies, and the songs will have Lethal We^n. the grown-ups reaching for the e^lugs, but those minor gripes aside this is ne^ as dammit faultless entertainment fcM" young and old alike. Daily 2.00 5.30 8.25 (except Weds 15th)

Daily at 130 4.00 6.30 8.45 THE FENCING MASTER (PG) Screen 3 : THE SECRET hat begins as a costume drama romance soon turns Winto a political thriller set in the 1860s. When the CARDEN (U) great fencing master Don Jaime meets Adela de Orto, his resolution never to teach women is shattered. But there's neglected, unhappy child secretly tends a forbidden, mwe than meets the eye, and he is led towards political Aovergrown walled garden, and so transfcams her own murder. A kind of cross between "Dangerous Liaisons" and Ufe and the lives of those around her, including a local "Basic Instinct". Good, country boy, a sickly young invalid and the evCT-excellent Maggie Smith. Francis Hodgson Bumett's novel was pub- üshed in 1911, the same year as "Peter Pan", and like the Weds 15 Dec : 1.05 3.15 5.20 8.15 latter, it has transcended being a so-called 'children's clas- sic'. Some of the originales frights are missing, but this is still pretty good. Screen 4 : ADDAMS

Daily at 1.10 3.25 FAMILY VALUES (PG) '^he wonderftilly macabre Addams family has a new X. addition, baby Pubert, Uncle Fester has gone goo goo over the children's new nanny and Wednesday has her first DEMOLITION MAN (15) boyfriend at summer camp. This sequel is actually better than the cniginal and has more plot, which is just as well, tallone flexes his muscles as the goodie, while Wesley because while the first film look«! terrific, itcertainly lacked SSnipes hardly stretches his acting skills as the baddie, in something in narrative. Here, they've üied to put Üi^ right this futuristic, action adventure piss-take, which actually The same old cast is back, with the same director, and many ain'tall thatbad. Lots ofexplosions and self-parody (it's set of the same old jokes (often stolen outright from the original in 2032 and there's a reference to President Schwarzenegger, Charles Addams cartoons). Those who liked the first "Ad- geddit?). There's enough techno-gadgetry, and violence, dams Family" should rush out and see this one, those who with even a few good digs at politici correctness to provide didn't should loiter around a graveyard or two on their way an entertaining night ouL Nothing more, nothing less. to the cinema and consider who they would rather spend time with - the loving Addams family or middle class middle America? Which ones are the weirdest? Daily at 5.35 8J5 Daily at 1.15 3.45 6.10 8.30 14

Careers Column 'CAREERS SERVICE'

FORTHCOMING EVENTS APTITUDE TESTS WEEK IO

any of you will be asked lo take aptitude tesis by employers as part of their CAREERS TALK Mseiection procédures, particularly if you are seeking employment in "numerate" jobs or as computer programmers or systems analysts. This is especially so if you HOW TO BE INTERVTEWED have a non-numerate degree. TUESDAY 14 DECEMBER AT 7 p.m. Many aptitude tests have superficial similarities and practice in one test will help you INLTF with this. AGCAS (the Association of Graduate Careers Advisory Services) bas commissioned such a test from Saville and Holdsworth and this is now available to US. The test has three sections: Verbal Reasoning, Numerical Reasoning and Dia- gramm^c Reasoning, ali of which feature in many commercial tests. PRACnCE INTERVIEWS with CARGHX PLC

The test lasts about two hours and, because of the administratiOT involved, can only for FINAL YEARS & RECENT GRADUATES be taken in pre-arranged group sessions for up to 20 people. We have already run two FRIDAY, 17 DECEMBER 10 a.m. - 3 p.m. tests this year and lo meet further demand we pian to run another session next term AT COBHAM on Thursday 20lh January at 6 pjn. in LTA. Please come and register in the Careers Service. £30 •*• meals and trave! expenses Collect an application form from the Careers The results of the AGCAS test are never divulged by us to potential employers. If, Service and return it to Cargill by however, you are asked to take a test by an employa, you should bear in mind that Wednesday 15 December some tests are owned and administered by consultancies, and the results of these may You will get feedback at your interview possibly be disclosed to other employers. It is essential, therefore, that you read the small print carefully before you sit a test. If you then decide to take il, aim to score as highly as possible and, if you have any reason for poorer than normal performance, such as a heavy cold, declare it to the invigilator before the test *CAREERSSERViCE'

RECALLING BROCHURES: If you have any employer bro- chures or forms, directories or information booklets you no longer need, please return them to us instead of putting them in the bin. Peter Swift

The Word From The Asylum Bob's Regulator nd the word is love it would appear. It' s almost the season for it I suppose (unless Ayou take the poets' view of Spring), so Tm getting my (3iristmas bitch in early The Recipe this year to beat the rush. There's always more than enough about the commercial hijacking of Chrimbletime - and l'm not going to do repeats for the hard of listening For a great way lo loosen your bowels, - but the whole affair is pretty ripe for the cynical. l'm beginning to think that Scrooge iry Bob's. had it right, albeit for the wrong reasons. Ii^redients Take away the religious message (and let's face it most people do), take away the quality family lime (which usually isn't, despite the quantity) and what are you left 1 large mug Kellogg's Ali Bran with? Materialism, gluttony and false bcmhomie. The majority of Christmas spiri t 1 large mug milk seems to come out of a bottle, usually in far too liberal quantities, and if you look at 1 large mug sultanas or dried fruii the arresi rates for violent crime over the Christmas period you can see that this love, 2/3 large mug sugar peace and happiness thlng doesn't make it very far under the national skin. 1 large mug self-raising flour.

l'm not against people having a good time (despite the rumours) but I think that we Method ali need lo be reminded now and then that the majority of people aren't I know it's pointless lo feel guilty for a lucky roll on God's dice, guilt is as impotent as il can be Mix the AH Bran, milk, sultanas and infìnite, bul fwnetheless it does serve as that reminder when you've been focusing sugar together, and leave to soak for 4 everylhing on the limits of your stomach and liver, and those of other' s generosity. hours OT overaight Beat the now soft mixture, then fold in the self raising Enough preaching. I don't really want to change the world (though it might be fun to flour. Pour into a greased 21b bread rule it for a while), I don't even want to change your opinion; I guess l'm just a lìred lin and bake in a prebeated oven at 170 old cynic who's been watching too much depressing T.V. recently. Bui if I bave degrees C fw 1 hour 20 minutes. Re- counted Üie cosi without recognizing the vadue then I hope, in the true spirit of move from oven, and allow to stand Christmas, you'll forgive me - and perhaps Wilde'U even forgive the plagiarism? for 5 minutes before luraing it out to cool. Serve piping œld, spread with a Mike Read little butter or margarine. 15

Letters to MPs - Suggestions In the following I have outllned what students suffer. I would like to hear your look for. Please, please could you ex- you could write to your MPs about. opinion on this matter. Yours faithfully, plain the Govemment's ill-informed and Please do not copy these, as standard Tim Bloggs (Homeless student re- ill-advised reform proposai, and your letters received by an MP will recelve housed) position with regards to it? Dave a standard response. Use the following Churchman (Sub-Aqua President) as a source of insph'ation. Write your ...I am a student writing with absolute letter keeping it short and to the point. disgust at the govemment' s legislation to ...I have worked long and hard in trying Take it down to the Union and have reform Students' Unions. Please could to form a Student Tutoring Society. This someone (Union "person")provideen- you reply explaining why, and how such is where the students are able lo attend velope and postage. a policy would benefit me? Best regards, local scbools and Colleges in order to Anna (Dance Student) perform a "teacher" role. I believe this greatly benefits and enhances the locai Dear MP, éducation centres quality of teaching, ...I am amember of the Rugby CHub at the and also the students who participai as University of Surrey. Please could you ...1 am concemed about tbe Government many of them go on lo become leachers. advise me as lo why the present Govem- Please could you explain why the Gov- legislation to reform Student's Unions. ment is pursuing such retrograde and of- TÈs is the only source of my extra cur- emment would pursue a legislation fensive legislation against the Student's which would end such excellent services ricular and extra murial activities at uni- Union. Although the legislaticHi does not versity. Witbout these I believe the for smdents. Noreena KÄan (made up affect my club directly, there will be so name, President) Government is hindering my chances of many indirect implications of which the getting a job mct I graduate, as this is extreme case is the Student's Union clos- exactly what ali employers look for in a ing down. Please could you teli me how ...I am currently a member of the Univer- potential employee. Please could you re- you can justify such action? Steve De- sity of Surrey Karting Qub. Al present spond, ccHnmenting on this legislation Wint (J^ugby Club Captain) we get a subsidy from our Student's Un- and your opinion of it? Yours faithfully, ion in order to keep my favourite pastime Joe Bloggs (Economist Student) ...lamamemberofSub-AquaQub. lam cheap. How will this be affected wiih the writing with absolute contempt to the new reforms that my Union are talking ...I am writing with reference to the CJOV- Govemment Student Union reform legis- about? Could you please advise me on emment legislation to reform our Student lation. My club has approximately 100 this situation and, ifi have to start paying Union. Recently I have had problems members and the majority of us travel to full price for karting, why? Chris Pye with my landlord and the Student Union the sea every weekend. It is our belief (Karting Club) helped me by representing my interest that the students benefit in terms of cbar- TTie proposed legislation will remove acter building and an all round personal- Compiled by Mo Khan, such services. Please could you respond ity. I am sure you would agree that these Union Treasurer to why again the Government is making are qualities il jwospective employers Folk Club Drama Soc Présents the Joyce Gang e will be holding auditions few next term's plays, "An Tuesday 14th December WEnglishman Abroad" by Alan Bennett,on Monday 13th 8pm in the Lower Bar. December at 6.30 pm in Teaching Block 11, and "Black Com- FREE! Floorsingers welcome (turn up at 730pm please). edy" by Peter Schaffer on Wednesday 15 th Ctecember in Teach- ing Block 19. Everyone is welcome, and we especially need ^T^he Joyce Gang were formed in Exeter in 1989, around the male actors! A already successful combination of Redmond and Wilson and with the addition of Russell Frampton and Paul Downs the Rehearsals are weil underway for "What the Butler Saw" by Joe band was set to become a fcwce for high energy in tbe South Orton, and this will be performed on Weds, Thürs and Fri of West. The band Week 4, next term. So keep a space in your hectic schedule gol a name for clear. themselves not only for their If you are unable to come lo the audition, please leave a note in sound butas writ- the pigeonhole in the Union. ers and perform- ers. After a Duncan Ennis successful début gig on Paddy's day they realised ^ Soul Club that this was the ^ way forward. '^hanks lo Stage Crew for their help with "Renaissance." Their musical in- X Our next Lower Bar disco is Thursday 16th December - fluences vary, THE JOYCE GANG _ "Santa Says Bolloxed!" Tickets are available Monday to ranging from Thursday between l-2pm in the Union foyer. Make sure you trad/lrish to Tex-Mex and Blues. They have a strong vocal get them before they go. Yet again, please come to the meetings sound and concentrate on producing their own material with an if you're a first year - but no diwy ravers like Paul (before he emphasis on generating high energy and fast moving rhythms reached the top buzz) and that was only last week. Anyway, that make dancing a must (so watch out on the night). The Happy Xmas. YerMum. vSeeyouin 1994(oralWorldDance!) Joyce Gang will in the Lower Bar on Tuesday, so don't miss it! Anna and the rest of the posse 16

n Conslance Lepoir. Please phone me again. M. B Mael - What does this button do? - Ah! It starts Q Alison - would you like to land on my kiss • the TIEfighter, what do 1 do now?? TAB Haggis Q Man Eater, have you eaien any men recently, orare you stili hungry ? Love ' n' hugs another QDid you know that the octopus is a bottom aFancy_a_mnt of SADDINGTONS, the cream male starved girlìe... Men are you out there ?? dweller? ofSHEFFIELD? n Thank 'Q' for inviting me Pete. n JULIA, now someones written a persona] to a Gary. I'LL HAVE YOU UNDER THE MIS- you. TLETOE!ILOVC'D T ' hugs a follower of person- n Who gives a toss what apathy means. als... n Soooooooooooo cute! B What does our Women's Officer look like in n Chris Haslam - will you play "FlashdaiKe" for a Can-Can skirt? n Oh-h-h Custard! me at the Draw Disco, please? n Sue - is it true yoy give it some LEG on stage? n Richard, haven't you got a home to go to? Q Steve (aka Widow T) - how did we all manage C4D to resist you in that sexy lipstick, not to men- tion the ughts and bat!!?! n Naughty Night Nurse - Do you think a hyper- Hlf we ask nicely do we gtí a repeat perform- cboi^ac like me will pass my Zeneca medi- ance, Sue? cal? Mad Microbiologist HTo whom it mw concern - we're after you - Üg time! from R&E n What would Arthur say? n Thumper - Suzy loves you. ^ n Mr Muscle. Are you pleased to see me, or is that a flute in your pocket?? BOB xxx Q Sue, is it true that you're transfemng to the n Sarah F - Your hair has got a kink in it! dance dept? & M - How can I resist your tiue colouis, that nPenguins luleOK!!! - William body, your charm and wit?? Don't worry. I'll n Dominic (Soc) - come on hunky, come play thini: of a way! Spaceman Spiff! with me - love Juicy xxx n Those well-defined buttocks, that unusual mole, excessive use of condoms. Am I talking HAidao Harvey-Craig seeks re-enactment of UMalt S. H^py Birthday old son!! But try about you or me? Vauxhall Strip Show in the privacy of his own smiling some when.. room. All rat keepers welcome. (World n Jamie, Tim and dare. Fancy a foursome? Authority on Biistol(s)) n Holly (Bee Eng) - I'm still admiring, out with tlw old - give me a chance?! xxx U "Santa's Grotto" with genuine cuddly Santa. n Darryl Croft - Study skills this week has been 45 Uoi Court (Upstairs) - Young Fresher gir- cancelled. We stroi^y recommend you attend n Congratulations to Emma - you've won the lies especiaUy welcome!! next week... As your english amuses the for- Noms McWhiiter look-alike competition. eign students!! U Sexual 1 St year male - you know who you are. n Tarquin VenaUes wears infiammale cheese- Some things are worth waitii» for! Love your nSteve, Compton 13 - It's good to have you clot. bloomers. admirer - you know who 1 am!!?x back. mate. We were beginning to miss )bur posse of girls! The Guys! n I may be an Inca, Peruvian thinker, b\A blimey n Merry Chri^as. Clare, Micbaela, Amanda O'Reilly your llama's a stinker! and Lucy. Love from Charmaii». x K2 Renato D - You 'strike' me as material for enrolment on my Toung Students Fascist n Rag House 37 - Some gave money, I gave my Q Matt - How manv "C's" do you need to get the Correction Scheme". I promise you a sound spanking and your own Geirnan Helmet - heait ia Week. message across?! Glyniss. n Rag House 37 - Let me be a kid and we'll party HRhian - Had any comments on your earringsl n Miss Zee - Push and turn the Knob, it comes all night! lately?-S ^ easier that way!! From Those Who Know! HT^s: 8 hours is such a long time, isn't iL.?! n Bro Baker - Do some work you lazy gjt! ElViki - There are better things to lick than tables. Happy postbirthday. R a PauliHappy birthday, don't get too drunk - you n S. Herzlichen Gluckwunsch: J. don't know what she'll do to you...?! n By popular demand the "Hal Bws" will be ns. Enjoy Bo's?J back. [5 there more than one Hat Giii?? H "HAPPY BIRTHDAY to ROB. have a good one. this year, my tiny toL I LOVE YOU!, HS. Which J?J n Gail Broadhurst - words do not come easy. Love Uny." You might think that I'm Sleezy, Cos I'm Q Pat - you smell of chocolate doggie drops...but feeling land of Wheezy, Do fancy something n "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEERS to GINA, thanks for changing my tyre. cheesey!! - Aidan Harvey-Craig JASON AND HAZEL - one too earìy, two too late. Enjoy yourselves. Love Hannan." Q Stevie D - see you at the next fitness. Tee-hee- n Shelley Crofts -1 am veiy sorry that I'm just hee... too s^ (o teD you how I feel, but lets just say Il Mutley: Merci beaucoup pour tout ShaU we that D.C. really should read Aidan Harvey- do it again?! xxxx Craig QFrom the ashes a figure arose... and took the form of the Boschuaz n Bang! Grumble! Grumble! Grumble! Snore! n John, HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY Love from n Wet, song, slung, long. Boschuaz strikes. Sperm andSmurf!! n Stop messing around with your hair. It is driv- ing me and other barmy! n Columbia - Save all your whippings for me, n Hazel - O, with the vital statistics - how about love ROCKY giving a youne, desperate Italian some per- nShelley-Christmasis coming! You simply the sonal tuition? If you're interested my name Turkey and leave the stuffíng to me. D.C rhymes with tomato! n GYRO -1 don't know why you're so worried, the enhancement is for your benefit - Slyder n Stephen Whennel - I've been watching youy Q Donovan, Sociology - Is it just me and the rest from afar and I've decided that you nave a of the worid, or are you sad & twattish? HFRANKENFURTER - You've got 7 days, fabulous arse - keep wriggling just fro me xxxx make me a man - ROCKY n KateD, Psychology - you' re a mature babe and I think I love youT P.B. (Psychology) 17

Duke of Edinburgh Award Society AGM Tuesday 14th Etecember 7pm in Com- AGMs mittee Room A, Level 8, Senate House. Notices Tbe Student Tutoring Society AGM on Library Appeal for Zimbabwe American Football AGM - Monday 13th Wednesday 15th December at 2pm in the Dee at 6pm in the Nelson Mandela Nelson Mandela Room. Room. Let the University of Surrey help to edu- cate our world. We are collecting 'no Pakistan Society AGM on Friday 17th longer required' books of ali kinds - text- Scout and Guide Qub AGM - Monday December at 6.30pm in TB18. AH wel- 13th December at 8pm in TB23. books and any fiction books for the Zim- ccwie. babwe library appeal. Please give any unwanted books to Rachel Davison, Rine Club AGM - Wednesday 15th De- S.M.e.G.S. AGM Tuesday llth January Communications Officer in the Students' cember at 6pm in TB20b. inLTBat7.30pm. Unicm who will then post them on to Zimbabwe. Hiking Club AGM on Tuesday 14th De- Electronics and Amateur Radio Society cembCT at 8pm in the Nels(Hi Mandela AGM on Tuesday 18th January at 6pm in Arìists... Room. 9BB21. For fiirther info contact Tony Jones on 0483 453613 or X4227. Ali Galling all budding artists - we need you RAG AGM - Monday 13th December at who expect to s^nd please drop a note 7pm in the Nelson Mandela Room (not to draw and design posters. Contact Steve in the Elee Eng pigeon boles. Ali wel- on exL9983 or cali into the Ents. Office. 6.30pm in Chancellors as advertised last ccHne. week). Law Society Creative Writing Society AGM - Mon- day Week 10-13th December 5.(X)pm in Week 10: PROVISIONAL, depending Nelson Mandela Rocnn. EGMs on wbether we get enough suppcMt from you lawyers, we are pl^ming a meal at Student Community Action (SCA) AGM Gamesoc EGM - Sunday 12th December Wates House/Chancellors, with a guest Tuesday 14th December ó.OOpm in Com- in LT A at 2pm. speaker, we hope. Everywie in the Law mittee Room A, Level 8, Senate House. Dept is invi^. Don't forget we are in 43AD20 every Monday at Ipm and you are more than welcome to come along. Also if you are interested in mooting then come along Refugee Crisis and let us know.

'^he UN estimates that around 19 million people are refiigees. Illese are people The Ballroom Dancing Society A who have been forced to flee war, famine and persecution. Third World countries suffer the bulk of the problem. However, ethnic tension and violence is now creating is holding its annual (Thristmas Dance on a refugee crisis in Europe. Wednesday 15th December from 7.45pm to llpm in tbe Main Hall. Tickets cost Refugees have given up everything. Many risked their lives in leaving their homes. £3.50&areavailableon the night Smart Those th^ find a new home often face racial intolerance, while many others fmd no dress please! place ofrefuge. N.B. This is open to ali non-society members!! So why not come along and break a leg?!!! European countries are responding to the problem with immigration limits, expulsions and tighter border controls. This is morally wrong, the humane response is lo provide refugees with shelter. Surrey Court Bar

However, the only real solution is to deal with the causes of the refugee crisis, by is now open Fridays and Saturdays 7- offering people in the Third World and Eastem Europe a life worth living. This 1 Ipm in Surrey Court Reception. requires (jovemments to look at foreign policy and trade not in terms of "national interest" but in terms of human rights. Chancellors Bar The Liberal Democrats' key trade, development and foreign policies are: & Restaurant •A commitment to intemational cooperation and peace, backed up by a UN charter that puts human rights befOTe the ccmcept of "national sovereignty". •Fair trade policies that encourage sustainable developmenL International trade bodies Due to Christmas func- would be reformed to remove their prò-Western bias. *Urgent action to tackle TTiird World debt, including the complete write-off of debt tions in weeli 10 the for the poorest countries. Chancellors will be *An increase in overseas aid, concentrated on locai developmenL closed for bar and snack Student Liberal Democrats are working for more progressive policies stili. By joining facilities. the Student Lib Dems you can have a real influence in setting a new agenda for British politics, based on intemational cooperation and respect for liberty. If you want to fmd out more about tbe refugee crisis or the Lib Dems drop a note into our pigeon hole. The servery will be open for takeaway food from Student Uberai Democrats. 5.30 - 7.30pm, Monday to Friday. 18

Sex, Hugs & Friday lOth November Chocolate Roll & Putici^

LibraTy Restaurant 7.30pm

+ dramas, mimes, minee pies apple pies, punch etc. Mike Fab-Gere 19

Boating Bonus at Ladies Football Campusdance Windy Walton. AC Surrey Ladies dump on Law College in 14 goal bonanza! 10% DISCOUNT OFFER 'T^he Boat Club keeps its boats at Wal- fter an activeautunm, Campusdance A ton-on-Thames Rowing Club and lthough the ladies football team has trains on the 4km reach of river between Ahad a somewhat "shakey" start to Alaunches a packed spring term pro- Weybridge and Wallon. Last weekend the season, this match provided the qual- grammo offering Cliinese Folk Dances, saw our second race of the season - a ity and style only normally seen on Lambada, West End Musical Theatre, 'home fixlure' in the form of Wallon Gazetta Football Italia. There was no National Dances and Flamenco. Small Boats Head race. stopping the red & black army romping Head races are the main form of compé- all over the pitch and exterminating the As well as special weekend Workshops, tition over the winter season, giving way opposition. the weekly classes continue and welcome to Regattas in the summer. They involve new dancers. You can try any class free a large number of crews racing over a The whole team put in a stunning per- in the first week of term... but if you enrol long distance (3km in this case), one after fonnance, but Woman of the Match (& before lOth Janu^, you will receive a another. Each crew is timed and at the end mucky pint) had to go to Kirsty of the generous 10% discount on the cost of of the day when everyone has completed Sports Hall, who netted about 7 of the 14 your course. Why not put the money you the course, the results are published. For goals. Other notable performances came save towards some "Dansez" dance wear Walton SBH there were 704 entries of from Bea with her breath-taking distribu- - new in stock fw '94. single and double seuils and coxless tion of the ball in tbe centre of midfield, pairs. and Sissel, who made sure the ball never The spring Campusdance brochure is out .The University Boat Club entered 9 entered our penalty area and who made this week, so come along to the Cam- f crews. Out of 148 coxless pairs of various some superb Ryan Giggs(!) style runs pusport Centre, pick one up and put a status catégories, (jary & I came 15th down the wing. "spring in your step". Örd in Our Senior-H category by 8 sec- onds), Stuart/Chris came45th (7th in S- Goals of the match were Sarah's lan I), Chris and I came 70th (7th in S-Il), Wrighthalf-tum volley andKirsty'scurl- Calling all Sports Stuart/Tom came 77th (lOth in S-I), Kei- ing free-kick shot past all the opposition. ran/Tom came 109lb (9th in S-Il). Représentatives Ralph/Tim raced twice, Coming 133rd (9th in S-III) & 134th (12th in S-fl). Out Special thanks to Kirsty for the goals, Don't forget 1993 Chrlstmas social & of 144 double scuUs, Julie/Paul came Louise and Cheryl for freezing their pro- interdepartmental présentation, 99th, winning the nüxed category, and verbial bollox off in the nets, and Jackie muUed wine and mince pies at the Var- Anna/Karen came lOOth (5th in for ignoring Arthur when he told us we sity Centre Women's S-HI). were "out of order" for scoring too many goals. It was a match made in A good day out was spoilt for some by heaven. At tbe end of the day, football We should be deligbted if you could join the loss of some expensive kit from the was the winner. the C^pusport and Campusdance staff changing rooms. Still, we managed to at the Varsity Centre on Wednesday 15th December at 1.00 p.m. for a pre-Christ- forget about tbe thievmg knife-grinders Hever with the aid of a few beers and some mas drink and to share in the success of suitable drinking games, at which Chris Campusport the Departmental teams who bave won was deemed to be the loser. Still, how trophies this term. many names of famous bodily fluids can you think of? New Year's Courses And David Smith, Deputy Secretary, Policy & I Next fixture will be after Christmas, Planning, VC's office, who will be leav- ' when we look forward to putting out Classes ing the University this term to take up an some novice crews for the first time, now appointment as Assistant Principal at St they have gained some experience this ^nrolment for classes and courses Mary's College, Twickenham will be term. Watch this space... E^starting from Monday 1 Oth January making the présentations. is taking place at the Campusport (Men- Victor tre NOW! Look forward to 1994 with The formal aspect of the proceedings will a tai chi, dry skiing, Step aerobics, be complemented by lighter Clements! squash, tedminton, jazz, ballet, or tap Helen Slee and Mike Ramm have been Credits: class... or even a self defence course... persuaded to demónstrate some of the booked in advance. ballroom steps which they have been Kachel Davison • Kdltor Interdepartmental teaching each Friday as part of our laiest Chris Pye - Music Kditor venture - Interdepartmental Balh-oom Tim ICyles - Layup Basketball Or Dancing - and some of you may be per- Saloni Radia - Arts Llstlnj^s Rock'n'Roll!? suaded to join in!! Furthermore there is Mori^an Armer - Photos talk of a couple of Departments perform- Nikki Hennin^ham« Lucy Forrest, inga'seasonal sketch'... strictly ID style. '^he lunchtime "Social Sports Pro- Do join US to celebrate another great term Mark Lawson & Tini Hunt • Typ- A gramme" gathers even further mo- ìns and to bear about plans for next year's mentum next term with the launcb of fun programme and the Faculty Sports Day. NIck Wrl^lit, Sarah Kln^ & mixed toumaments of table tennis, bas- Catherine Lyons • PnK>IVeudiii^ ketball, badminton, korfball and the Ball- room Dancing choice of Jiving and Rock Anyone requiring transport to tbe Varsity Christian Union - Stuffers 'nRoU! Centre, meet at the Clampusport Centre at Mike Kamm • Printer 12.55. The action begins from Monday 17th And tlianks to ali ctmtrlbutors. January - contact departmental sports SALLY CEDIE&MARK ARNALL reps if you want to join. íBare

The Thunderdrome Challenge Bomber Hans Is Alive

following last weeks' shocking 13-1 F victory over Staines, the famous Sur- rey fourth team were brought back down to earth at top-of-the-table Bedfont Green on Saturday.

Despite a solid defensive display from the likes of Psyco Spencer, the Crawley ^ Chunderer, Mark *'Donkey" HaywOTth' and defender Martin Bye, the general fitness of some of the so-called "social Rods, 1600 Saloons and Single se^r members" left a lot to be desired. Indoor Motor Racing? - Superstox. A New Concept National Hot Rods are state of the art After being 2-1 ahead with only minutes full-race saloons designed for oval rac- left, luck tumed against us with a second weekend sees something never ing. These are mainly Peugeot 205s, with penalty and fluke cross adding to a X. tried before in the UK: Indoor Oval very expensive 1700cc performance en- headed equaliser to leave us with a 2-4 Racing. Promoters Waltham Services in gines. Illese engines create upto 200 bhp defeat Dave Wilding now boasts his association with Spedeworth have been to the wheels and reach in excess of joint top scorer status (7 goals in 4 looking fOT a replacement for the cold, 90mph along the straights. They comer games) almost as loudly as man of the wet and wintry Sunday nights at Wimble- impressively at around 70mph. This will match "Shaving" Tom Sobe boasted his don's Plough Lane Stadium. So why not provide the closest and fastest motor rac- new found freedom from nicotine (9 transf^ the sport into the warmth and ing ever to be seen in(k>ors, with the hours I think, mate) whilst "Bombo^" comfort of an indoor venue like Earls drivers competing for a massive purse in Haris Sierepeklis quietly poached his Court 2. Create the all new Thunder- excess of £10,000. fifth of the season. On the whole a sound drome Challenge and provide £10,000 1600 Saloons are a cheaper version of the performance and a settled squad could prize money. Waltham Services' Mal- National Hot Rods, with more restric- lead the way to a few more victories in colm Forbes thought of the idea over 18 tions on modifications. The engines have the months to cwne, but only if Friday months ago, and has finally been given a limit of 1600cc and must remain more nights in the Union are banned. the green light standard than the National's. The 1600 Saloons are also a non-contact formula. Nick Matthews So what's the crack? Single-seater Superstox are a scaled down version of Formula One Stock Emergency Sports Cars, a formula that has always drawn in Sixteen cars per 15-lap heat and 20-lap the crowds since the 1950s. TTiis formula Standing final purpose built 310 yard oval circuit is a contact sport and could prove vCTy The track will be surrounded by a 350 interesting in an indoor environment. Monday 13th Í)eceml)er at 6pni in yard safety fence and 540 tons of con- Overall the premier running of the Thun- Lecture Theatre IC. At least one crete wall. Surrounding that will be over derdrome Challenge jH-ovides first time nienilier must attend from each con- 6,000 seat, the close proximity enabling motor racing spectators and the experi- stituted sports club. spectators to experience the spectacle erK:ed an c^poitunity to watch fast and and high-speed racing from a seated van- ultra-close motor racing, in a fun for all tage point. the family, action packed extravaganza. There will be three non-stop spectacular If this has wet your ¿^petite, then tickets Sports Exec shows ov^ the weekend, each designed are available on the door in advance from to appeal to the public in general, with the Earls Court Ticket Hotline on 071 Friday 10th December at 1pm in the emphasis on ratertainment for all the 373 8141. I will be driving up for the Barclays room. The following U) at- family. The action meetings are due to Sunday afternoon meeting, so if you want tend: run during the following times; Saturday a lift give us a shout in the Bare Facts D Churchman, P Knight, J McGuire, 11 December 1900 - 2200, Sunday 12 office on Friday. C Pye, C Banford, N Padget, N Hum- December 1400 - 1700 and Sunday 12 pherey, L Small, D Wilding, S December 1900 - 2200. Each meeting DeWint, R Atton. will see three formulas: National Hot Chris iBrìnted by MikS' ^Kßtmtt - Union iBrìnUr