Resourcefulness
Resilience
P RelationshipsR E P
Parenthood & Relationships Education Project Raising the best generation of Scottish Parents Respect
Responsibility
Toolkit April 2016
Acknowledgements Thank you to all of the stakeholders that supported the development of this work: many individuals from both NHS Scotland and the Scottish Government, Homestart Dundee, Parentskool CIC, AMP Consulting, Education Scotland, Montessori Brighton, Mellow Parenting, The Solihull Approach, Alternatives Dundee, Catherine Rushforth and Associates Ltd, Youthlink Scotland, Reattach Parenting and to the Young People at Coloma School, Young Scot, The Vennie, Easterhouse young mums group, Rathbone young people, St Andrews Family Support Project, OPEN Peer Education Project, Shetland Young Mums Group and the Dundee Homestart Young Mothers group. A special thank you to the OPEN Peer Education Project and Shetland Young Mum’s Group for their support in developing some of the activities found within this Toolkit. Thanks also to the many young people who participated in pilot sessions, and to the schools, youth groups and others who facilitated the delivery of these sessions.
Authors: Claire Hillson and Sarah Watkins [email protected] [email protected]
This project was funded by the Scottish Government and WAVE Trust Published by WAVE Trust, London, 2016
Table of Contents Section 1 – Introduction and Guidance
PROJECT BACKGROUND ...... 3 TOOLKIT GUIDE ...... 5 PREP TOPICS AND KEY LEARNING ...... 6 PREP MODULES ...... 7 SESSION PLAN GUIDE ...... 8 LINKS WITH CURRICULUM FOR EXCELLENCE ...... 9 GUIDANCE ON DELIVERING SESSIONS ...... 10
Section 2 – Toolkit Session Plans R1: POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS ...... 12 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 14 R1A: RELATIONSHIP QUALITIES ...... 15 R1B: RELATIONSHIP TYPES ...... 16 R2: CONNECTEDNESS ...... 17 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 20 R2A: TRUE/FALSE QUIZ ...... 21 R3: MANAGING CHANGE ...... 22 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 24 R3A: INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES TEMPLATES ...... 25 R4: EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ...... 27 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 30 R4A: EQ CATEGORIES ...... 31 R4B: SELF-ESTEEM IDEAS TEMPLATE...... 32 R4C: SELF-ESTEEM IDEAS BOARD ...... 33 R4D: 3 STEP PLAN ...... 34 R5: STRENGTHENING MENTAL HEALTH ...... 35 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 38 R5A: MYTHS AND FACTS ...... 39 R5B: PROBLEM PAGE ...... 40 R5C: TREE OF LIFE ...... 41 R5D: MY 5 STEPS ...... 42 R6: SUPPORT FOR PARENTS AND INFANTS ...... 43 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 46 R6A: SUPPORT THROUGH THE AGES ...... 47 R6B: MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS ...... 48 R6C: SUPPORT CASE STUDIES ...... 49 R7: ASKING FOR HELP ...... 50 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 53 R7A: OPPOSITE EMOTIONS ...... 54 R7B: WHEEL OF EMOTIONS...... 55 R7C: BOILING POINT ...... 56 R7D: EMOTIONS TRACKER ...... 58 R7E: HELP CARD ...... 59 R8: ACTIVE PARENTING SKILLS ...... 60 ACTIVITIES ...... 60 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 63 R8A: ACTIVE DEBATE ...... 64 R8B: BEST START IN LIFE ...... 65 R8C: WHAT? WHY? HOW? RESEARCH NOTES ...... 66 R8D: WHAT? WHY? HOW? FLASHCARDS ...... 67 R8E: ONE SMALL STEP ...... 72
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R9(1): CONFLICT RESOLUTION – SESSION 1 ...... 73 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 76 R9(1)A: GUESS THE FEELING ...... 77 R9(1)B: ACTIVE LISTENING ...... 78 R9(1)C: BODY LANGUAGE CARDS...... 79 R9(1)D: BODY LANGUAGE SCENARIO ...... 80 R9(2): CONFLICT RESOLUTION – SESSION 2 ...... 81 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 84 R9(2)A: SBLR SCENARIOS ...... 85 R9(2)B: WRITE YOUR OWN SCENARIO ...... 86 R9(2)C: CONFLICT RESOLUTION BINGO ...... 87 R9(2)D: DIAMOND 9 CONFLICT RESOLUTION ...... 91 R9(2)E: DEAR DIARY ...... 92 R9(2)F: RESPECTFUL CONFLICT RESOLUTION ...... 93 R10: NURTURING AUTHORITY ...... 94 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 97 R10A: AGREE/DISAGREE CARDS ...... 98 R10B: PARENTING AGREE/DISAGREE STATEMENTS ...... 99 R10C: FAMILY GROUP CARDS ...... 100 R10D: HOUSE RULES EXAMPLES ...... 101 R10E: POSITIVE PARENTING BASICS ...... 102 R10F: BOOK CLUB ...... 103 R11: RESPECTING RELATIONSHIPS ...... 104 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 107 R11A: THROUGH THE KEYHOLE: FACILITATOR ...... 108 R11B: THROUGH THE KEYHOLE: SCENE CARDS ...... 111 R11C: THROUGH THE KEYHOLE: BRAINSTORMING ...... 113 R11D: RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE ...... 115 R12(1): PRACTICAL PARENTING – SESSION 1 ...... 116 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 118 R12(1)A: EXTENSION ACTIVITY ...... 119 R12 (2): PRACTICAL PARENTING – SESSION 2 ...... 120 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 122 R12(2)A: BUDGET PLANNER ...... 123 R13: CHILD HEALTH & WELLBEING ...... 124 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 127 R13A: BACK TO THE FUTURE QUIZ ...... 128 R13B: COMMUNITY PLAY ...... 129 R13C: FACTORS AFFECTING HEALTH ...... 130 R13D: MIND MAP AND WORD CLOUD EXAMPLES ...... 131 R13E: BUZZ WORD DEFINITIONS ...... 132 R13F: JOB ADVERT ...... 133 R14: PARENTAL ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES ...... 134 FACILITATOR NOTES ...... 137 R14A: IT’S NOT JUST A PRAM ...... 138 R14B: IDEAL PARENT IDEAS ...... 139 R14C: NEEDS TREE ...... 140 R14D: NEEDS TREE HEADINGS ...... 141 R14E: NEEDS TREE PROMPTS ...... 142 R14F: CHANGING LIVES ...... 143 APPENDIX 1: EVALUATION BODY ...... 144 APPENDIX 2: EXIT TICKET ...... 145 APPENDIX 3: PARTICIPANT EVALUATION FORM...... 146 APPENDIX 4: REFLECTIVE PRACTICE SHEET ...... 147
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Project Background
About WAVE Trust WAVE Trust is a children’s charity working to make the world safer by breaking damaging, inter- generational family cycles. We do this by understanding the root causes of issues such as violence, child abuse, poor mental and physical health, poor academic performance, homelessness, addiction, criminality and inequality. We bring together the best of international scientific understanding of both root causes and solutions, and then use this to create practical, effective action plans to break these damaging cycles.
Our research has highlighted the crucial importance of the quality of parenting, and especially the impact of the pre-birth to pre-school period. We strongly believe in every child’s right to a safe and nurturing environment supported by positive parenting and that by supporting Scotland’s future parents, we really can help Scotland to become the best place in the world to grow up.
‘Let’s work together to make the next generation of parents the best generation of parents’
Project Overview The Parenthood and Relationships Education Project (PREP) originated from the Scottish Government’s National Parenting Strategy which states: ‘we are committed to doing more to enable our children and young people to develop healthy, positive relationships and to prepare for possible future parenthood’.
This work builds on the Curriculum for Excellence and will address many of the related Health and Wellbeing outcomes and National Wellbeing Indicators. WAVE Trust believe that all young people, whether in formal education or not, should have access to non-judgemental, supportive and practical information about Parenthood and Relationships.
While many young people receive some form of Relationships Education, our research shows that there is little or only sporadic education about Parenthood. This work is vital because Scotland becoming ‘the best place in the world to grow up’ is heavily dependent upon the preparedness and capabilities of every child’s father, mother or carer. It is our intention this project will lay the foundation for, and build momentum in favour of, transformational change in the preparation for positive parenthood.
Project Development This toolkit is the culmination of a yearlong project, funded by the Scottish Government, with the brief of understanding how we can make Scotland the best place in the world to grow up in, by ensuring that the next generation of parents, are the best generation of parents.
Evidence about Parenthood Education was gathered using focus groups with 60 young people (some of whom were parents), a series of interviews and questionnaires with 52 practitioners and professionals in the field and a desk-based international evidence review. This provided us with rich narrative information regarding: the experiences and understanding of young people and young parents; the key components of a Parenthood Toolkit; gaps in existing Parenthood Education provision; the key qualities of a good parent; and how to nurture these qualities in young people.
The results of this consultation process were analysed and key themes (5) and specific outcomes (38) were identified. These were then presented, at an Expert Review Session, to a group of 30 experts from education, health and the voluntary sector to explore how to further develop these and incorporate them into a ‘toolkit’ resource for practitioners.
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Following the Expert Review session, 14 key topics were identified and key elements of a successful toolkit were discussed.
This process is described in detail in the PREP Evidence review – which can be found on our website here: http://www.wavetrust.org/our-work/publications
Session Development and Piloting The contents of the sessions were developed by a combination of input from: the research in the Evidence Review; feedback in the Expert Review Session; WAVE’s own staff expertise; and a group of peer educators in Shetland (The OPEN Project). The group were asked to develop and test activities which have been included in the Toolkit. The feedback from them about their involvement was very positive and they were very supportive of the Toolkit being used with young people as widely as possible. The peer educators also delivered some of the activities in schools across Shetland. The feedback from participants was encouraging, with many of them indicating that they had learned more about parenting and the responsibilities of parenthood, helpful places to go for support and more general knowledge about relationships.
We also invited several schools, youth organisations and other settings for young people to test out some of our session plans (those not being tested in Shetland). This resulted in 37 young people participating in sessions and offering their feedback. Facilitators also provided feedback on their experiences of delivering sessions.
Pilot Evaluation In total, 7 of the Toolkit session plans were piloted – at least one from each ‘R’ grouping. A total of 37 young people took part in the sessions, some in more than one. Their ages ranged from 14 to 16 and the average age was 14 ½. The feedback from facilitators was overwhelmingly positive with some suggestions regarding timing and adaptability of sessions. The requirement for facilitators to approach topics sensitively was also highlighted. The feedback from young people participating in the sessions was very positive with 75% saying they enjoyed the session and found it interesting. In addition, 67% of young people said they learned something new and 60% said they knew more about being a parent after the session. Less than half (45%) said that taking part in the session had changed their opinion about parenthood, but many said that they were not yet ready to be a parent and this was why their opinion had not changed. Young people also provided qualitative feedback relating to the types of things they enjoyed, learned and what they will take away. They specifically mentioned interactive activities as something they enjoyed, along with learning about parenthood-related topics. Young people noted both generalised and specific areas of learning ranging from empathy and relationships to baby communication and child development. The ‘take away’ from the sessions tended to focus around practical application of the knowledge gained and keeping information in mind for future. As a result of both the development and piloting in Shetland, and our own piloting, we have adapted the original draft of the session plans. We have now included more options for adaptability, an adjustment for timing, an increase in interactive resources and activities, and we have created suggested ‘modules’ of sessions that cover specific topics (page 9).
The session plans included in this version of the Toolkit are the culmination of a year-long project rather than the ‘final’ version – they are intended to be used to support rather than replace existing RSHP delivery. Whilst they have been through an initial piloting session, future developments of the project would benefit from more in-depth evaluation.
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Toolkit Guide
This toolkit has been designed to provide resources for practitioners (including teachers, youth workers and other practitioners working with young people) which are flexible, accessible and adaptable. It is intended to offer good quality, relevant materials and information that directly and indirectly address the skills and knowledge young people require to be better prepared for possible future parenthood, and to make decisions about whether and when to become a parent.
PREP Themes – The 5 Rs of Parenthood The research undertaken as part of the development of this Toolkit resulted in the selection of key areas of skill and knowledge – the ‘Themes’ of PREP. These are: Relationships – as a central theme which impacts all others Resourcefulness Respect Responsibility Resilience
PREP Topics and Modules Each of the themes contains 2 or more ‘Topics’ which have an associated session plan. The activities within the session plans have been designed to be run independently, so if there is a specific area that is lacking in existing provision, facilitators can simply ‘lift and shift’ the materials focusing on that topic.
Equally, if there is capacity to follow the full programme of activities, this will result in a broad coverage of all of the most important aspects of relationships and parenthood education, as defined by the Evidence Review and research we conducted in the development of the topics and materials.
If facilitators wish to deliver more than one session, but not the full suite of sessions, we have identified a series of ‘modules’ which group the sessions by subject area and can be delivered over the course of 4 sessions: 1. Why Parents Matter 2. What Parents Do 3. Understanding Emotions 4. Understanding Relationships These modules can be seen in more detail on Page 9.
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PREP Topics and Key Learning This table outlines the 14 topics and details areas of key learning for each. Page 10 provides a detailed guide to the format of the session plans and how to navigate them.
ID Short Description Key learning Relationships • Qualities and skills necessary to sustain positive and healthy relationships • How relationships can promote health and wellbeing R1 Positive relationships • Importance of being cared for and caring for others in relationships • How to show appreciation to others who care for me
• How babies communicate with their caregivers and how to connect with babies • Baby states and cues and why these are an important part of parenting R2 Connectedness • Importance of listening and observing • What "connectedness" means and why love matters Resilience • Skills to manage change and make decisions about relationships • Change is a constant part of life but can be dealt with by different skills and strategies R3 Managing change • How to approach the frequent changes that can happen in relationships • How and why to end a relationship
• Dynamics of emotional intelligence and how self-awareness, self-esteem, self- management and social awareness can help to develop emotional resilience R4 Emotional intelligence • Practical ways to grow self-worth and self-esteem, for myself and in my future possible child • Promotion of mental wellbeing through positive relationships and personal coping skills R5 Strengthening mental health • Many people experience poor mental health and support is available for them • Five steps to mental wellbeing (#connect #be active #keep learning #give to others Resourcefulness
• Stages of child development including the abilities and needs of children at each stage Support for parents and R6 • Different types of support for parents and carers and the importance of asking for help infants • Barriers to accessing support and investigation of local support options
• Know when feelings are manageable, and when they may be a cause for concern R7 Asking for help • Understand support needs and that sometimes asking for help is difficult • Know where to find support, and who can help in finding that support • What parents can do to provide a rich home learning environment, to give children the best start in life and to ensure school-readiness R8 Active parenting skills • The different parental skills needed and the importance of play • How what happens at home can help protect against the impact of disadvantage Respect • Verbal and non-verbal communication and the importance of body language • Active listening skills to aid communication R9 Conflict resolution • The impact of non-verbal communication on conflict resolution • Strategies of non-violent conflict resolution • Respectful and disrespectful ways of solving problems with others • The importance of being an authority figure for my child, and providing positive, nurturing guidance R10 Nurturing authority • The importance of providing rules and consequences for children’s behaviour with the aim of progressively helping them to learn appropriate self-control as they mature • How relationships develop and change over time and how to nurture relationships R11 Respecting relationships • How best to care for others emotionally and practically • The importance of empathy in relationships Responsibility • Practical aspects of parenting including safety, finance and budgeting for my family R12 Practical parenting • Responsibility of having a child including the costs associated with having a child and the daily tasks • Responsibility of parents to nurture children's development, health and wellbeing R13 Child health and wellbeing • Importance of providing children with security, stability, happiness and love • Role of a parent/carer and the skills, commitment and qualities the role requires Parental roles + R14 • Importance and the enduring and complex responsibility of being a parent/carer, and responsibility the impact on life choices and options.
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PREP Modules
It is recognised that different settings will have a varied amount of time available to deliver Parenthood and Relationships Education. Some settings will have the ability to deliver many or all of the sessions, others may only be able to select one or two. For those settings with the capacity to deliver several sessions, we have suggested ways of grouping the sessions into modules that will deliver key aspects of learning for particular areas of interest.
Module 1 Why Parents Matter [Parenthood Education] R2: Connectedness Pg 17 R6: Support for Parents & Infants Pg 43 R13: Child Health & Wellbeing Pg 124 R14: Parental Roles & Responsibility Pg 134
Module 2 What Parents Do [Parenting in Practice] R8: Active Parenting Skills Pg 60 R10: Nurturing Authority Pg 94 R12(1): Practical Parenting – Session 1 Pg 116 R12(2): Practical Parenting – Session 2 Pg 120
Module 3 Understanding Emotions [Emotional Health & Wellbeing] R3: Managing Change Pg 22 R4: Emotional Intelligence Pg 27 R5: Strengthening Mental Health Pg 35 R7: Asking for Help Pg 50
Module 4 Understanding Relationships [Managing Relationships & Conflict] R1: Positive Relationships Pg 12 R9(1): Conflict Resolution – Session 1 Pg 73 R9(2): Conflict Resolution – Session 2 Pg 81 R11: Respecting Relationships Pg 104
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Session Plan Guide
Topic Number and Title Links with Health and Wellbeing Es and Os Topics are numbered 1 to 14 and referenced in the Shows which Es and Os can be covered by the Topic Guide (page 8) activities in the session plan.
Key Learning Activities Identifies the potential Each session plan contains: key learning contained in - icebreaker activity the whole session plan, - main activities including icebreakers and - additional activities extension activities. - conclusion activity
It is not expected that all activities will be delivered in each session. Resources Required Facilitators can select the Outlines the resources you activities that best suit will need to deliver all their purposes and the activities in the session agreed learning plan. Some of these are objectives of the group. included at the end of the session plan. Activities can be adapted to suit the needs and learning objectives of the young people. Timings are suggested but Additional Sources of Intended Learning and Suggested Success may not apply to all Information Criteria groups. Links to websites and These are a list of examples of intended other resources that may learning and criteria to assess this learning. Differentiation and be useful for both These can be individually tailored to suit extension activities are facilitators and learners and will depend on which activities provided. participants. are delivered during the sessions.
Facilitator Notes Every session plan is accompanied by short facilitator notes which should be read prior to delivering the session. Included in the facilitator notes is some background information and any clarifications of concepts or topics included in the session plan. These should be read prior to delivering a session
Resources Every session plan also has accompanying resources. These will be identified in the activity description and are included following the facilitator notes. These can be adapted and amended to suit the needs of the learners and any differentiation or extension activities. Word versions of the session plans can be accessed on WAVE’s website.
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Links with Curriculum for Excellence This table highlights the overlapping nature of the PREP materials and the Experiences and Outcomes in the Health and Wellbeing curriculum.
Curriculum for Excellence PREP Session Mental and emotional wellbeing I am aware of and able to express my feelings and am developing R1: Positive Relationships HWB 3-01a / HWB 4-01a the ability to talk about them R4: Emotional Intelligence I know that we all experience a variety of thoughts and emotions that R5: Strengthening Mental Health HWB 3-02a / HWB 4-02a affect how we feel and behave and I am learning ways of managing R4: Emotional Intelligence them. I understand that there are people I can talk to and that there are a R5: Emotional Intelligence HWB 3-03a / HWB 4-03a number of ways in which I can gain access to practical and emotional R7: Asking for Help support to help me and others in a range of circumstances. I understand that my feelings and reactions can change depending HWB 3-04a / HWB 4-04a upon what is happening within and around me. This helps me to R9: Conflict Resolution understand my own behaviour and the way others behave. I know that friendship, caring, sharing, fairness, equality and love are R1: Positive Relationships HWB 3-05a / HWB 4-05a important in building positive relationships. As I develop and value R11: Respecting Relationships relationships, I care and show respect for myself and others. I understand the importance of mental wellbeing and that this can be fostered and strengthened through personal coping skills and positive HWB 3-06a / HWB 4-06a R5: Emotional Intelligence relationships. I know that it is not always possible to enjoy good mental health and that if this happens there is support available. I am learning skills and strategies which will support me in challenging HWB 3-07a / HWB 4-07a R3: Managing Change times, particularly in relation to change and loss. Social Wellbeing As I explore the rights to which I and others are entitled, I am able to R11: Respecting Relationships HWB 3-09a / HWB 4-09a exercise these rights appropriately and accept the responsibilities that R12: Practical Parenting go with them. I show respect for the rights of others. I recognise that each individual has a unique blend of abilities and HWB 3-10a / HWB 4-10a needs. I contribute to making my school community one which values R11: Respecting Relationships individuals equally and is a welcoming place for all. Representing my class, school and/or wider community encourages my HWB 3-12a / HWB 4-12a self-worth and confidence and allows me to contribute to and R4: Emotional Intelligence participate in society. Relationships, sexual health and parenthood I understand the importance of being cared for and caring for others HWB 3-44a / HWB 4-44a R1: Positive Relationships in relationships, and can explain why I understand and can demonstrate the qualities and skills required to HWB 3-44b / HWB 4-44b R1: Positive Relationships sustain different types of relationships. I understand and can explain the importance of, and need for, commitment, trust and respect in loving and sexual relationships. I HWB 3-44c / HWB 4-44c R1: Positive Relationships understand the different contexts of such relationships including marriage. I am aware of the need to respect personal space and boundaries HWB 3-45b / HWB 4-45b and can recognise and respond appropriately to verbal and non- R9: Conflict Resolution verbal communication. R12: Practical Parenting I can explain the importance and the enduring and complex R13: Child Development HWB 3-51a / HWB 4-51a responsibility of being a parent/carer, and the impact on life choices R14: Parental Roles and and options. Responsibility R6: Support for Parents and I can explain the support and care necessary to ensure a child is Infants HWB 3-51b nurtured through the different stages of childhood. R12: Practical Parenting R13: Child Development Through investigation I can explain the support available for parents R6: Support for Parents and HWB 4-51b and carers looking after babies and bringing up children. Infants
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Guidance on delivering sessions
We know that many of the practitioners using this resource will be experienced in delivering sessions on RSHP (Relationships, Sexual Health and Parenthood). However, we have included some guidance below resulting from piloting of the sessions, our own research and the research of others.
Duration of Sessions The sessions are designed to last between 45 minutes and an hour; however, practitioners can adapt the sessions to suit the needs of the learners. Practitioners can select fewer activities where this would work better or use the extension activities for an ongoing project or series of lessons.
Consideration of Prior Learning Although this resource has been developed for young people aged 14-16, practitioners should also consider young people’s prior learning and adapt or expand the activities as required. These sessions should be delivered after discussion with young people about their learning needs and areas in which they would like more information.
PREP Values Teaching practice should always take the opportunity to incorporate the four underlying Project Values:
Inclusive Learning – All participants feel able to actively engage, feel safe and feel welcomed. Equality and Diversity – Activities that aim to tackle discrimination and stigma, protect equality, celebrate diversity and recognise that every parent and every child is a unique individual. Positive Modelling – Practitioners should model good behaviour when delivering activities, ensuring learners have positive role models who inspire them. It is important to use: . Positive Language – to encourage young people to see themselves in a positive light . Positive Imagery – photos, videos etc. which are positive, relevant and appropriate . Positive Stereotyping – which reduce stigma and encourage a culture of support-seeking Context Specific – Promoting acceptance that parenting is an individual experience and there are many contexts in which children are born and raised. Practitioners should ensure that sessions: . Facilitate differentiation – of tasks, activities and resources . Are adaptable – for different circumstances and learner needs Session planning Sessions are designed to require little additional research or input but all sessions require some elements of planning. This is particularly important with this topic which requires sensitivity and sufficient time for young people to explore. The following are suggestions on ways to effectively prepare for the sessions:
Facilitator Notes – We advise facilitators to review the facilitator notes before delivering any session – it may also be helpful to explore the additional sources of information if the facilitator requires further knowledge. Resources – Facilitators should ensure they have access to the materials needed for each activity. The Resources Required box lists out the necessary equipment, PC or internet access, or any other materials needed for the session. Activities identify which of the paper resources are needed to deliver that specific activity – remember that some of these may need to be adapted. Differentiation or Extension – Facilitators should fully consider the needs of learners and review the differentiation and extension suggestions in the session plans. Facilitators may need to adapt these further, depending on the needs of their learners.
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Who should deliver the sessions Research1 has repeatedly shown that the effective delivery of SRE (sex and relationships education) requires a high level of skill and sensitivity as well as up-to-date knowledge on the part of the teacher. All young people will have their own opinions and experience of relationships and being parented and often this will impact on their responsiveness to the activities. Anyone delivering the PREP materials should be prepared to have some sensitive conversations and frank discussion about the topics covered.
The same report1 highlights the potentially damaging effect of using a facilitator who is not comfortable with the subject. This can be mitigated by:
Knowledge and confidence – of the subject area and in delivery of sessions Reflective practice – to continuously improve delivery, including a debriefing or supervision session where possible (see Appendix VI for a sample reflective practice form) Appropriate training – both subject specific and in having difficult conversations (Growing Confidence offers training specifically in understanding how to support teenagers - www.growingconfidence.org) Consistency – so that young people have the opportunity to build a relationship with the teacher delivering the materials Safeguarding – ensuring there is an established pathway for referral onto appropriate services if young people disclose issues of concern
Our own research (explained in the Evidence Review) highlighted the following areas that should be considered by facilitators:
Content – feeling passionate about the topic, engaged with the materials and not unsettled by the topics of conversation Sensitivity to young people – considering the potential impact of sessions on those who have had/are having poor experiences, providing access to additional support services where needed Sensitivity to parents – focusing on developing skills and attributes that make good parents, rather than criticising current parenting practice, creating a supportive rather than blaming culture Ongoing Evaluation – facilitators should make use of the evaluation materials provided in the appendices (pages 145-147), to assess quality of sessions and to support future learning
Relevant Further Reading Conduct of Relationships, Sexual Health and Parenthood Education in Schools, Scottish Government, Dec 2014 http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0046/00465948.pdf Pregnancy and Parenthood in Young People Strategy, Scottish Government, March 2016 http://www.gov.scot/Resource/0049/00495068.pdf Young People’s Views on their Relationship, Sexual Health and Parenting Education (RSHP) in School, TASC, 2014 (Glasgow) and 2016 (Lothian) http://www.tascagency.co.uk/rshp-learning.html
1 A Review of Sex and Relationships Education in Scottish Secondary Schools Glasgow G2 2AF © NHS Health Scotland, 2008 - 11 -
R1: Positive Relationships
Key Learning Links with: HWB 44a Qualities and skills necessary to sustain positive and healthy relationships HWB 01a HWB 44b How relationships can promote health and wellbeing HWB 05a HWB 44c Importance of being cared for and caring for others in relationships How to show appreciation to others who care for me
Resources Required Activities Open Space (for trust exercise) Ice breaker (10 mins) Whiteboard Trust me. Introducing the idea that Trust is a Printed Resources: R1A & R1B fundamental aspect of any relationship. Organise Performance space – if time to perform scenes group into pairs. Allocate each individual as either IT – Internet/computers ‘A’ or ‘B’. Then explain: ‘A’s are going to Paper/card and pens experience Being Trusting; the ‘B’s will experience Being Trusted.
‘A’s will need to stand up, supported by ‘B’s, and Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria gradually lean backwards until they feel like they Learners should: will fall. The idea is that ‘B’s catch ‘A’s and DO NOT LET THEM fall! If necessary, this can be done 1. Understand that there are different types of relationships. with one ‘A’ and two ‘B’s to ensure ‘A’s are not Identify what types of relationships they have, dropped. including friends and family. Differentiate between a healthy and unhealthy Differentiation: some learners may feel relationship. uncomfortable with touch, or space/safety constraints may be prohibitive. An alternative 2. Know the meaning of positive and healthy relationships game is for ‘A’s to act ‘blind’ and keep eyes shut, Learners can: and allow ‘B’s to ‘lead’ them around. This could be Identify the qualities of a positive and healthy done outside or inside, and could be done using an relationship. ‘assault course’ style being led over/around Recognise the qualities they need to sustain obstacles. positive relationships. Experience being trusting and trusted.
Activity 1 (25 mins) 3. Understand the link between relationships This activity will enable learners to understand that and health Learners can: there are many different types of relationships, Understand that relationships can benefit identify the qualities of a positive and healthy health and wellbeing. relationship and demonstrate skills to sustain Understand how feelings can let you know positive relationships. The duration of this activity when a relationship is not good. will depend on the group size – facilitators should ensure that all learners have the chance to show their scene. Group question: Shout it out (5 mins) Additional Sources of Information What skills/qualities make a positive relationship? (5 mins) capture this on a whiteboard. Facilitator https://startempathy.org/ can then add/highlight the 8 positive relationship www.rootsofempathy.org qualities being used for the next activity. www.thespark.org.uk http://www.athinline.org/facts Friendship Caring Sharing Communication
Fairness Equality Love Respect
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Ask learners to note down in their worksheets, or Make a Scene (20 mins) facilitator can capture on whiteboard, examples In pairs, groups or individually learners are given of unhealthy relationships. 10 minutes to plan and then act out a scene that demonstrates a positive quality of a relationship. Questions to ask could include: This may require some discussion about the Can we make a list of what makes a good meaning of the positive relationship qualities depending on the level of understanding within the relationship? group. This activity will help learners understand How can you tell when a relationship is good, that there are different types of relationship, and or not? different variables of relationship quality (RQ). How does it feel when a relationship is not Scenes should be short (around 2 minutes is fine) to good? keep the energy in the room high. What impact do relationships have on health
and wellbeing? Learners should be provided with one ‘Relationship Qualities’ card and one If appropriate, ask learners about personal ‘Relationship Type’ card. experiences they have had of an unhappy relationship and how it made them feel. Care Facilitators can provide ground rules for creating should be taken here to not push learners into scenes depending on the group context. discussing anything they do not want to.
RESOURCES: R1A: RELATIONSHIP QUALITIES R1B: RELATIONSHIP TYPE Conclusion (5 mins) Thank you note. Ask learners to think of a Differentiation: If learners are unable to perform relationship which makes them happy – this could scenes, they could use a comic strip creator to be someone that they may not always appreciate create their scenes online and print them out. This or thank. Perhaps a friend, teacher, family could be done individually or in a group: member or anyone else who is important to them. http://www.readwritethink.org/files/resources/int Now offer learners the opportunity to express eractives/comic/ their thanks to this person. This could be in the form of a letter, card, drawing, email or even a poem Extension: this activity can be extended over or song. Learners should then be invited to send or multiple sessions. It could be developed into a give this Thank You to the person. larger event, with learners writing and directing scenes that last longer which could be filmed and This activity helps learners understand that by shared with other learners e.g. on social media, or being caring to others, they develop good at assemblies. Scenes could also cover additional relationships, and making others feel good also relationship qualities and additional relationship makes you feel good! types, for example single parent and child, same sex couple, young parents. See also: Random Acts of Kindness - www.randomactsofkindness.org/ Activity 2 (10 mins) Pay It Forward (book/movie) Why do relationships matter? This activity can be www.payitforwardfoundation.org/about done in a separate session or can be given as homework if the previous activity takes up all of the available time.
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Facilitator Notes
Definitions Research suggests that early parent-infant Facilitators may first need to draw out from relationships have a lifelong impact on the baby. learners their definition of some of the relationship Further, relationships that parents have with each quality words, such as empathy and fairness. They other, their extended family and professional may also need to start this session with a clear helpers also have an impact on the developing definition of what a relationship is. child.
Link to Health and Wellbeing The importance of positive relationships is also There is significant evidence showing the link highlighted in the 2014 ‘Growing up in Scotland between poor relationships and health and Report: Family and School influences on Children’s wellbeing. social and emotional wellbeing’. The report found that in families where the partner relationship was Read http://www.relate.org.uk/thebestmedicine or read the full report at poor, the risk of high total difficulties in children http://www.thinknpc.org/publications/the-best- tripled compared with families where the partners medicine/ enjoyed a good relationship.
Excerpt from RELATE and NPD publication: The Best It is important to consider the impact of this session Medicine: The importance of relationships for health on those young people who have very few positive and wellbeing (London, March 2015): relationships. The message that relationships can be nurtured and positive relationships can be ‘Relationships with friends, families and partners are developed using different skills and techniques fundamental to our wellbeing and the quality of should be reinforced. these relationships has a major impact on our health. Evidence shows that our relationships can protect us Further resources from the effects of long term health conditions, aid For a more in-depth exploration of relationships recovery, and even prevent us from becoming ill in there are programmes that focus specifically on the first place. relationships, such as: The Spark Those of us with strong relationships are 50% more http://www.thespark.org.uk/children-young- likely to survive life-threatening illness than people people/youth-education-programmes/ with weaker ones. Our relationships are as important Cool, Calm and Connected to our health as our diet or whether we smoke, if not http://www.growingconfidence.org/young- more so.’ people
Understanding the qualities of positive relationships and how these look and feel is an important part of developing positive relationships. Some young people may not have experienced these positive qualities, and if this is the case, care should be taken when discussing the impact of negative relationships on health and wellbeing.
Developing positive relationship skills now, will provide young people with an excellent foundation for developing positive parent-infant relationships if or when they become parents.
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R1A: Relationship Qualities
Friendship Caring
Sharing Communication
Fairness Equality
Love Respect
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R1B: Relationship Types
Teacher & student Group of people
Romantic couple Young Parents
Father & son Mother & daughter
Brother & sister Friends
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R2: Connectedness
Key Learning Links with: How babies communicate with their caregivers and how to connect with babies HWB 51a Baby states and cues and why these are an important part of parenting HWB 51b Importance of listening and observing What ‘connectedness’ means and why love matters.
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Baby props (dummy, baby blanket, baby toy, Crying Baby. Divide your group into halves: half or crying baby doll) will be ‘A’s, and the other half a mixture of ‘B’s Access to internet for video footage with sound IT access in pairs/groups and ‘C’s. Explain that ‘A’s are going to be babies, Materials for creating posters ‘B’s sensitive parents, ‘C’s unavailable parents. ‘A’s Printed Resources: R2A are to imagine they are a new-born baby (facilitator can bring props – a blanket, teddy or dummy to make the role play realistic). If required a toy crying doll could be used instead. Set groups up as ‘family pairs’ some ‘A’s with ‘B’s Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria and some ‘A’s with ‘C’s. Once in the role play, the Learners should: ‘A’s (or babies) should ‘cry’. ‘B’s will respond each 1. Understand how babies communicate time, and offer comfort (the group could suggest Learners can: methods of comforting a baby such as a cuddle, Explain why understanding babies’ cues is an important part of parenting. soothing words or a lullaby). Each time the ‘baby’ Explain the 6 baby states. cries ‘C’s will not respond – they might look at their Explain the importance of listening to and phone, look away or ignore them completely. Let observing your baby. this activity run for up to 3 minutes. (It may get 2. Understand the importance of noisy!). connectedness. Learners can: Discussion points: Define love in terms of parent/infant How did babies who had sensitive parents relationships. (‘B’s) feel? How did sensitive parents feel Know the meaning of ‘connectedness’. List 5 practical things parents can do to about what they were doing? connect with their baby. How did babies who had unavailable parents (‘C’s) feel? How did unavailable parents feel about what they were doing? If there were ‘couples’ made up of ‘B’s and ‘C’s what might happen there?
Additional Sources of Information Differentiation: depending on the size of the www.wavetrust.org group, you can allocate one baby to one parent, www.zerotothree.org or have ‘B’ and ‘C’ parents work together as www.beginbeforebirth.org conflicted ‘couples’. http://www.your-baby.org.uk For smaller groups or individuals: Watch ‘The http://www.connectedbaby.net/ Still Face Experiment’ with the group http://growingupinscotland.org.uk/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=apzXGEbZht0
Follow up with a discussion about how the baby might feel at different points in the ‘experiment’. - 17 -
Activity 1 (20 mins) Tell us: (5-10 mins) Groups explain their posters: Understanding Baby States. This activity is based the main characteristics of that baby state. on the University Of Warwick research into baby Finished posters can be put up around the room. states of which there are 3 awake and 3 sleep Differentiation: Learners can use the ‘Parenting in states. Learners divided into 6 groups/pairs and Pictures’ to understand Baby Cues allocated one of the 6 ‘Baby States’ as follows: http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/pip_baby_cu Baby sleep and awake states: es.html and create posters based on these. Quiet alert: Wide-eyed with a bright face, little body movement – ready for interaction. Parents should be prepared for baby to look Activity 2 (20 mins) away and take some time out, and to offer Baby brains. Explain to learners that parents’ time and space during the interaction for the interaction with babies actually grows their brains. infant’s response. This can be written on a whiteboard to facilitate discussion: Unsettled: Alert but fussy, may cry or may be ‘Love grows brains’ soothed. Lots of limb movements and may be more sensitive to light and noise. Sometimes Research shows babies who are played with, read babies may show they are over stimulated to, taken places, and loved are building a strong foundation for their future brain development. This through physical signs such as hiccupping, can be an all group activity, or can be done by yawning, sneezing, squirming, throwing their splitting the room into 3 groups, so each group can head back as they move from this state. focus on one of the films. Crying: Lots of body activity, grimaces and intense crying. Baby needs calming. Some Watch the following video (2 mins) from The Center on the Developing Child, Harvard University. parents find that babies who have been This will introduce the topic of how connecting with nursed in the neonatal unit are very sensitive. babies can support brain development. Drowsy: Dozing or beginning to wake. Babies Serve & Return interaction shapes Brain are usually drowsy when they are just waking Circuitry up or falling asleep. Eyes open but glazed or https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_5u8- heavy lidded. Occasionally may startle, body QSh6A movements generally smooth. May fall back to There are a further 2 videos that could be shown if sleep or move into alert state. learners are particularly engaged. Light sleep: Eyes closed or fluttering. May see Experiences Build Brain Architecture rapid eye movements under the lids. Easily https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNNsN9IJ roused and may make sucking or smiling kws movements. Toxic Stress Derails Healthy Development Deep sleep: Breathing steady and regular, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVwFkcOZ eyes closed, lies fairly still and is more difficult HJw to rouse. Definitions. This exercise will explore what Once they have been allocated their ‘state’ ‘connectedness’ means. Explain to learners that in learners can watch the 2 minute videos online the serve and return video, we see that interactions http://www.your-baby.org.uk/baby- with infants help to develop their brain. This comes states/introduction-sleep-and-wake-states to from the emotional connection that parents have familiarise themselves with their state. with their baby. This is what we mean when we talk about connectedness. Now each group has 5-10 minutes to produce an A3 poster for Parents to explain what to watch out Babies are born ready to connect to other people, for to determine that ‘state’. If necessary, learners they are able to communicate and thrive on can be given a Printed description of their ‘state’ interaction. This video is a great example of to help. connectedness:
- 18 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87n98ayRdE g. Additional Activities (5-10 mins) Another important part of the relationship between Activity 1. Watch Charlie’s Story to see an parents and their babies is the bond between the example of what can happen if the parent-infant parents (and other close caregivers) and babies. If relationship is not a positive one this emotional bond is positive, nurturing and http://www.beginbeforebirth.org/for- responsive, this will support the emotional schools/films. development of the baby right up to adulthood. Bonding can be supported by reading babies’ Discussion points: signals and responding to their needs. What impact do you think Charlie’s early life could have had on his teenage years? Learners can now create ‘Definitions’ posters for What kind of support could Charlie’s Mum have connectedness and top tips for parents on how to had? connect with their baby. Activity 2. An important part of parenting a baby Discussion points: is knowing when they are hungry. Crying is usually Why does love matter? the last thing a baby will do to tell you he is What does love do to babies’ brains? hungry. What may he do before then? How do babies know they are loved? Answers can be shouted out individually and captured on whiteboard, or can be done in Learning points: the intention of this session is to pairs/group work to identify 4 feeding cues. show how the early interactions that babies have with their caregivers form pathways in the brain, Infant Feeding Cues which act as a foundation for future relationships Rooting and behaviour. Licking or smacking lips together It is never too late to intervene or support people Waving hands or feet around who have had traumatic early relationships. But as Knitting fingers a parent, the best thing you can do for your baby Sucking noises is to connect with them, by loving them. Love in Sucking fingers or hand parents is expressed as touch, eye contact, Source: Parentskool CIC physical contact, playing, reading, singing etc. If learners are unable to describe any cues the Final Quiz (3 mins). Activities to increase the internet will provide a good starting point. parent-infant relationship. This can be done in pairs, groups, or individually.
RESOURCE: Conclusion (5 mins) Ask learners to complete an entry for the Ask It R2A: TRUE/FALSE QUIZ. Basket. All learners must complete an entry, if they If in pairs, learners can discuss and determine don’t actually have a question they can just write a which statements are True or False. If in a group, comment or something they’ve learned. Making one side of the room can be designated True and writing something compulsory allows those who the other False. The facilitator can read out the want to ask questions to do so without the rest of activities then ask learners to move to the side of the group knowing who asked what. the room they think is correct.
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Facilitator Notes
There is significant evidence that sensitive have had a difficult experience of childhood parenting, responding to babies’ cries, is an themselves. It is important that young people are important part of human development. Babies that reminded there is a lot of information and research are left to cry for long periods of time have more we know about today that their parents may not behavioural and emotional problems as they grow have known about. older. As parents, our mission is to understand what Good enough parenting babies are trying to tell us to respond to their needs. Another important message is about the continuum of ‘good enough parenting’. Being a parent is a
Baby States difficult job and it is possible that parents will have occasional lapses in attention to their child, which is Baby states is based on research from the University of Warwick. Their website uses video to not likely to cause harm if it occurs intermittently in an otherwise loving and responsive environment. show health professionals and parents how to respond to a baby in a way that fosters emotional Supporting learners wellbeing. Learners could also download the If young people are concerned about how their smartphone app (Android only) to personalise it early experiences have impacted them as young for their ‘pretend’ new-borns. The videos and app adults, they should be supported to discuss this with can be downloaded from http://www.your- a qualified professional such as a guidance baby.org.uk. teacher, educational psychologist or support worker. Facilitators should be prepared to support Neuroscience learners with knowledge about what support It is strongly recommended that facilitators are services are available locally. familiar with basic neuroscience concepts: the 3 short films from The Center on the Developing Child (Harvard University) referred to in the Neuroscience: study of the brain and its impact of activities will help. The final film, which can also be behaviour and cognitive functions shown along with Charlie’s story, will help explain why the early relationship is so fundamental to Synapses: those places, in the brain, where a healthy child development – in effect – why love signal passes from one neuron (cell) to another matters. Synaptic pruning: the process by which extra neurons and synaptic connections are eliminated in Difficult conversations order to increase the efficiency of neuronal It is possible this session may raise some transmissions ‘use it or lose it’ uncomfortable feelings in the group, or may lead to disclosure, or difficult behaviour. Particularly if young people have not experienced positive relationships with their own parents. Facilitators need to be prepared to deal with difficult questions especially around the future possibilities for children who have had a poor early childhood experience. It is worth reinforcing here that it is never too late, and that as adults we can work to rewire our brains to cope with life’s challenges, regardless of our early childhood experience.
The key message of this session is that everyone is capable of connection with their baby, even if they
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R2A: True/False Quiz
Read each of the following activities and decide if they increase the quality of the parent-infant relationship. If you think that it does select TRUE – if you think that it does not help the relationships select FALSE.
Cuddling Breastfeeding
Putting baby in bouncy seat Giving baby iPhone or iPad
Eye contact Babywearing (baby in a sling)
Leaving baby in buggy/car seat Baby in childcare for long periods
Skin-to-skin Reading stories
Mimicking baby expressions Singing songs
Not listening to baby Putting baby in front of TV
Controlled crying Talking to baby
Smacking Baby massage
Ignoring baby cries Putting baby in quiet room
Source: Parentskool CIC
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R3: Managing change
Key Learning Links with: Skills to manage change and make decisions about relationships HWB 07a Change is a constant part of life but can be dealt with by different skills and strategies How to approach the frequent changes that can happen in relationships How and why to end a relationship
Activities Ice breaker (10 mins) Resources Required Back in time. This exercise aims to draw on Whiteboard learners’ experiences and get them to think about Plain white postcards/colouring pens managing changes in their life. IT – Power Point, internet access
Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria Learners should:
1. Understand that change is a constant part of life. Learners can: Show an awareness of the types of changes we go through in life. Understand that friendships and relationships can change due to time, place, and other circumstances. Put this quote up on a whiteboard. Split learners Know how to react appropriately as into pairs/small groups and ask them to think friendships and relationships change. 2. Manage relationships changes about this quote and answer these questions: Learners can: Make decisions about relationships. What changes do we all go through? Develop skills to terminate relationships. Have you experienced a major change or loss? How did it feel at the time? How does it feel now? Capture words on a whiteboard (will be used in the next activity). If you could go back in time and tell yourself something before the change to ‘protect’ yourself from how it made you feel….what Additional Sources of Information would you say? www.thespark.org.uk Would it have made a difference? http://ayemind.com/service-map/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwniKDr9aG8 Learning points: Aim to get learners thinking http://www.unstuck.com/ about how it feels to be going through a change, http://www.relationships-scotland.org.uk/ how it feels afterwards, and how they can http://www.relationshipsmatter.org.uk/ develop skills or strategies to deal with change. A http://breathingspace.scot/ key point is that change is inevitable, it is how you deal with it that makes life easier, or not!
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Activity 1 (20 mins) Extreme cases (abuse, Domestic Violence) should Be inspirational. Learners are going to use their not be specifically brought up by facilitator unless groups’ experience of life and change to come up appropriately trained and it is safe to do so. with an inspirational quote postcard based on Examples: splitting up with a boyfriend or ‘Change’. They can use any medium to do this, girlfriend, stopping a friendship as you no longer some templates are provided which can be printed have anything in common, moving away and out. Learners can use PowerPoint and clipart or having to say goodbye to a friend, feeling plain postcards and colouring pencils/pens to uncomfortable with a relationship with an older or design their own. younger person, growing apart from an old friend, leaving a band or a group you belong to. Learners can use the words captured on the
whiteboard as inspiration or draw from their Discussion points: facilitators can explore some own experience conversations about this, such as: Take 10-15 minutes to design and produce What are some reasons why you may want a their postcard friendship/relationship to change or end? Share your work with others in the session When is a good time to change a relationship?
RESOURCE: How would you stop the relationship? R3A: INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE TEMPLATE How can you make it a good ending? (Endings don’t always have to be bad). Extension: if required, learners can continue How would this impact the other person? How working on their inspirational quotes. might they react? How can you minimise the impact of change on Differentiation: If there is access to computers and others? the internet, learners can use a photo editing Where can you go for confidential help with website (using their own photos or photos they find relationships? online) to create their inspirational quote Learning points: This experience can be used to templates. Suitable sites could be: explore the idea that relationships can change due www.befunky.com/create/photoeditor/ to time, place, and other circumstances. Learners https://www.canva.com/ can think about how to react appropriately as http://www.quotescover.com/ friendships and relationships change and how https://behappy.me/generator different members of the relationship may view http://www.picmonkey.com/ the ending in a different way. Sometimes ending This could be further extended into a photography relationships is difficult and there is confidential project where learners can take photos of help and advice available. something they associate with change to go with their quote. Conclusion (5 mins) Me me me. Write down 1 skill or strategy you would like to practise to help you deal with life Activity 2 (10 mins) changes. Pop it in the envelope then pass it Changing relationships. Sometimes in life YOU around. Facilitator can read these out at the end have to be the person making the change. of the session, or put them on a poster. Learners should imagine they are in a relationship which they want to stop. (Facilitator should be Extension: learners can write these on a postcard, sensitive about what kind of relationship may want put them in individual envelopes with their address to be stopped, and why – a friendship may be the on them. Facilitators can then post these back at a most appropriate.) later date to remind learners of their strategies. Start with ‘To manage change I will…..’ - 23 -
Facilitator Notes
Changes ‘Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly The icebreaker activity is designed to gently guide think they are finished.’ learners to the topic of change and loss. Draw out ‘No matter how much it hurts now, one day you will from learners that we all go through some similar look back and realise it changed your life for the changes: better.’ Physical change (growing in height, puberty, hair growth etc.) ‘We’re not the same person we were a year ago, a Changing class/teachers each year month ago or a week ago. We’re constantly Moving up to the next school changing. Experiences don’t stop, that’s life.’ ‘The past is supposed to be a place of reference, not But that some of us experience different a place of residence! There is a reason why your car changes/loss: has a big windshield and a small rear-view mirror.’ Parents’ divorce Death of a pet Trigger warning Death of a family member of friend Facilitators should be careful when discussing Moving home reasons to end a relationship. It may be that prior relationships within this group have ended, and left Moving school uncomfortable feelings in one of more individuals.
If this is the case, a simple case study or role play For some young people, multiple changes can can be offered instead. happen all at once. This can be challenging and can impact how they feel and possibly their mental This session may result in disclosure. Facilitators health. Young people who also have difficult home should be prepared to deal with this, and know of lives may be more impacted by changes or loss. It their own organisations’ safeguarding and is important to be sensitive to this and encourage information sharing policy. young people to think about and/or research positive coping strategies. When discussing reasons for friendships ending, facilitators can encourage learners to be empathic These sessions are not specifically designed to to the other person or people in a relationship. This support young people who have experienced will assist them in learning how to act multiple and/or traumatic changes and loss in their appropriately when relationships change. lives, although other sessions do address the topic Seeking confidential help of Resilience (R4 & R5). If a young person has It is useful at this stage to hand out to learners any significant difficulties in coping with changes or local, relevant information about confidential help loss, there are support organisations who can offer with relationships, including school counsellor, individual support such as The Spark, Relationships support helplines, websites and so on. Examples: Scotland, Cruse Bereavement Care and Breathing www.getconnected.org.uk Space. www.respectme.org.uk Managing change www.childline.org.uk There are many excellent quotes about Change www.youngminds.org.uk available. Facilitators can research some prior to the session. Some examples found online include: ‘The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.’ [Socrates]
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R3A: Inspirational Quotes Templates
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R4: Emotional intelligence
Key Learning Links with: Dynamics of emotional intelligence and how self-awareness, self-esteem, self- HWB 01a management and social awareness can help to develop emotional resilience HWB 02a Practical ways to grow self-worth and self-esteem, for myself and in my future possible HWB 12a child
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Envelope/slips of paper Self-esteem boost. This activity should only be IT – Internet access (groups/pairs) done if all learners are able to write something Printed Resources: R4A-D positive about their peers. If this is unlikely to Shoe box or similar happen, then the activity should not be done.
Organise the group into a circle and give everyone an envelope. Ask learners to write their own name on the envelope, and then pass it round to the left. Each person is to write something Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria positive about everyone else on a slip of paper Learners should: then put it in the envelope they have been handed.
4. Understand the meaning of self-esteem. Learners can: Once done, pass that envelope to the left and do Define self-esteem and know why it matters. the same thing for the next envelope you have Understand ways to grow self-esteem. received. This activity continues until all learners have written something nice about all others, and 5. Understand the meaning of emotional they have their own envelope back in their hands. intelligence. They can then open their envelopes. Learners can: Describe the 5 categories of emotional Discussion: intelligence. Understand how self-control, self-awareness, How does it feel to receive the envelope? motivation, empathy and social skills can help Is there anything unexpected in there? them. Do people perceive your positive attributes differently to you?
Differentiation: depending on the relationship between learners, this activity may not be appropriate to do in the group. If there have been friendship issues or conflict in the group then learners can be given 5 slips of paper and they Additional Sources of Information can choose who they give their slips to. www.selfesteemteam.org www.helpguide.org This can be done as a group environment, or www.teenagewhisperer.co.uk learners can take their envelope home to give to www.youngminds.org.uk other friends or family members. Alternatively, the facilitator can do this for each learner prior to www.mind.org.uk starting the group.
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Activity 1 (15 mins) Avoid things they find challenging Snowballing EQ. Emotional intelligence is Develop unhealthy coping strategies like sometimes described as EQ (in the same way that alcohol and smoking IQ describes the ‘intelligence quotient’). In recent Develop mental health problems like years, more emphasis is being placed on the depression and anxiety importance of our emotional intelligence alongside IQ. If appropriate, learners can take one of the many freely available self-esteem tests online (a simple This activity is designed to draw out from learners internet search will come up with a few options). what they know about the 5 categories of emotional intelligence. Developing healthy self-esteem is especially important in the teenage years, when the pressures Divide learners into 5 groups. Explain that they of growing up, schooling, relationships, media and will be working alone for a few minutes to jot peer pressure have a huge impact on how we feel down their ideas about the emotional intelligence about ourselves. category for their group. They will then snowball up to form pairs to share views. The pairs will then Divide learners into pairs/small groups and double up and share their views. explain that they are going to come up with at least 3 practical things they can do to grow self- This can continue until there are 5 complete groups esteem. These can be personal to them, or generic. each looking at one topic: 1. Self-awareness There is a template in the resources (Ideas 2. Self-regulation template) to help them think of a range of 3. Motivation practical things they can do, as well as a list of 4. Empathy ideas (Ideas Board) if learners are struggling to 5. Social skills come up with anything.
Learners can be given the EQ categories handout RESOURCES: for definitions of the five Emotional Intelligence R4B: SELF-ESTEEM IDEAS TEMPLATE. categories. R4C: SELF-ESTEEM IDEAS BOARD.
RESOURCE: R4A: EQ CATEGORIES Additional Activity (ongoing) Differentiation: if the group size is not big enough Glory Box. This is a great ongoing task for young to permit this activity, learners can work alone for people to keep as a reminder of the positive a few minutes on one of the 5 categories and then qualities they have, and how great they really come together as a group to discuss what each are! In times of self-doubt or low self-esteem, a one means. packed Glory Box can really remind you of your meaning in the world.
Activity 2 (15 mins) Ask learners to locate an old shoe box, filing box or similar. If they wish, they can decorate it, paint Grow your own. Write this definition on the or decoupage it, and personalise it as much as whiteboard: they desire. Then they can start collecting anything
they have which tells them they are great (a good Self-esteem is the opinion we have of ourselves. starting point will be their named envelope from When we have healthy self-esteem, we tend to the Icebreaker session). feel positive about ourselves and about life in general. It makes us able to deal with life’s ups Some ideas of items to put in the glory box are: and downs better. Source: NHS Choices. Certificates of attendance Discussion: Medals and rosettes People with low self-esteem may: Badges or awards Hide away from social situations Exam certificates Stop trying new things Letters, postcards or birthday cards - 28 -
Love or friendship notes Special memories like a cinema or festival ticket Photos or other memorabilia of happy times
Conclusion (5 mins) 3 Step plan. Learners are now going to use the knowledge gained in the previous exercise to start completing their 3 step plan to grow self-esteem. This activity can begin in the session and be continued at home. A template plan is in the Resources which can be printed out and given to learners.
RESOURCE: R4D: 3 STEP PLAN.
Step 1: identify your beliefs – what negative things do you believe about yourself; where do these beliefs come from?
Step 2: spot your negativity – when you say negative things about yourself, either out loud or internally – take note – if possible write them down as they happen so you can challenge them later!
Step 3: notice the great things about you – can you write down 5 good things about you? Make a list and add to it when someone else tells you a good thing about you (this may be a teacher, a friend or family member). Keep your list somewhere visible so you can see it! (See also Glory Box in the Extension Activity).
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Facilitator Notes EQ Emotional Intelligence about helping us not to get bogged down by past The concept of emotional intelligence is not new, mistakes. If now is ok, we are ok. and gained popularity in the 1990s with the publication of the book of that title by the author, Helpful resources psychologist, and science journalist Daniel There is a free wellbeing measure which can be Goleman. Since then various models of emotional used in schools and other settings, and allows you intelligence have been suggested, but most refer to compare your results to larger surveys to the five categories of EQ as described in the www.well-beingmeasure.com. book. Other useful resources: Main activity (Snowballing EQ) Anxiety UK www.anxietyuk.org.uk How well you do in your life and career is British Association for Behavioural & Cognitive determined by IQ and EQ. In fact, psychologists Psychotherapies www.babcp.com generally agree that among the ingredients for It's Good to Talk: counselling and success, IQ counts for roughly 10% (at best 25%); psychotherapy www.itsgoodtotalk.org.uk the rest depends on everything else — including EQ. (Bressert, 2007. What is Emotional Intelligence Living Life to the Full: online self-help (EQ)? Psych Central). www.llttf.com MIND: increase your self-esteem (PDF) For information about emotional intelligence see: http://www.mind.org.uk/media/7509/how-to- http://eq.org increase-your-self-esteem-2011.pdf www.mindtools.com NHS youth mental health www.robertgoleman.info http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/youth-mental- Healthy self-esteem health/Pages/Youth-mental-health-help.aspx It should be stressed to learners to understand that Self-esteem www.more-selfesteem.com we all have periods of thinking that we are not good enough or are incapable of doing certain things. This is normal. However sometimes people find that their opinion of themselves, or their self- esteem, is so poor that it is beginning to impact other areas of life.
Anyone feeling this is becoming a serious problem should always seek help – a good starting point is the GP who will be able to give some ideas about how to help yourself as well as, if necessary, making a referral to a specialist medical professional.
Mindfulness Mindfulness is about being fully aware of living, right now, in this moment. Research has shown that being mindful is good for us. It can have long term benefits for our health and happiness.
Being in the present moment can help us all cope better with our lives and feel happier. This is because mindfulness is about respecting, and not judging, ourselves - it is about just accepting ourselves for who we are. It is very simple, but can be a very powerful way of keeping us in touch with what is really important about our lives. It is - 30 -
R4A: EQ Categories It is generally accepted that these are the 5 categories of EQ (emotional intelligence). Learners can either be given a blank template or our ideas for the descriptions can be left in.
EQ Category Description Self-awareness You can be in control of your emotions only if you are aware of them. Becoming aware of your feelings and emotions is something that can grow with practice. Being mindful and noticing your physical responses (e.g. anger, fear) can help you to grow restraint and react appropriately to situations at home, school and work. Self-awareness is also linked to self-confidence and being sure about your self-worth and your capability. Self-control Controlling impulses is something that is taught from childhood – and being in control of your reactions enables you to: . avoid temptation . take responsibility for your actions . be trustworthy and maintain your standards of integrity . adapt well in the face of change . be open to new ideas You cannot control the emotions you experience but you can control how you react to your emotions. Motivation Motivation is linked to goal setting and a drive to achieve. We all have the capacity for positive, motivational thinking, but some of us are more naturally predisposed to this than others. Motivation consists of: . positive thinking . looking for the hidden opportunities lurking in problems . setting goals and being able to see the path to achieve them . having initiative . optimism to carry on in the face of setbacks Empathy Empathy means being able to not only to understand what others are feeling and thinking but being able to ‘feel with’ them. It is an essential component of human relationships and the more you can empathise with others, the better you can manage conflict. Social skills Social skills can be described in a variety of ways, but in essence mean the ability to get on with others and operate in a team. Communication, including listening skills, is crucial as is empathy and confidence. Social skills allow you to: . navigate social situations confidently . influence and negotiate with others . collaborate and cooperate . build positive relationships
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R4B: Self-esteem ideas template This blank template can be given to learners in the Grow Your Own activity as a prompt for ideas to develop self-esteem.
THINK ACT DO
SAY EAT BEHAVE
BE ALWAYS DON’T
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R4C: Self-esteem ideas board
These ideas can serve as a prompt for learners to think about practical things to grow their self-esteem.
Visit a new place – help an elderly person – don’t compare yourself to others – do something new – go for a swim – sing a song – take a mindfulness course – go for a muddy walk – be a peer supporter – start a campaign – grow a plant – set a goal – make a smoothie – help someone else – be kind to yourself – be aware of your emotions – speak to a grandparent – do an activity you enjoy – have a nap – watch your thoughts – write a letter – join a youth group – live in the present moment – thank someone – write a poem – help a young parent – plant some flowers – help a neighbour – try something new – organise a football game – start a petition – climb a mountain – be responsible for something – go rock pooling – tell a joke – work as a team – pay it forward – show someone you care – be confident – organise a team game – have a massage – do a random act of kindness – think positive thoughts – go outdoors – set a goal – do some exercise – roast some veggies – be a can do girl/boy – know yourself – end an unhealthy relationship – be patient with yourself – learn to play an instrument – have empathy – give someone a cuddle – pamper yourself – find a support group – do some yoga – make a positive change – give yourself a break – take part in a treasure hunt – take a photo of a beautiful sunset – know your rights – be honest – go for a run – love a pet – remembers what’s great about you – take a class – make a cake – have hope – challenge your negative beliefs – be trustworthy – join a club – do a team sport – phone a friend – volunteer – be positive – read a book – draw a picture – sew – learn a language – have a hobby – run a marathon – be adaptable – get a job – do something you love – raise some money for charity – paint a picture – be true to yourself – collaborate with someone – manage your emotions – make a cup of tea – be open to new things – organise an outdoor activity – take up a new sport – kick a ball around – talk to somebody new – go to the cinema
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R4D: 3 Step Plan This template can be handed out to learners to complete in the concluding activity.
Identify ... your negative beliefs
Spot ... when your negativity comes out
Notice ...the good things about you
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R5: Strengthening Mental Health
Key Learning Links with: Promotion of mental wellbeing through positive relationships and personal coping skills HWB 02a Many people experience poor mental health and support is available for them HWB 03a Five steps to mental wellbeing (#connect #be active #keep learning #give to others HWB 06a #be mindful) and how they can help build up resilience to the challenges of life
Resources Required Activities IT – Internet access (groups/pairs) Ice breaker (5 mins) Printed Resources: R5A – D Myths and Facts. This energiser quiz is designed Whiteboard to get learners moving around the room and
getting to grips with some of the difficult topics that this session will explore. Explain to learners that they are going to hear a series of statements – some true, some false. If they think the statement is true they are to go to one side of the room, if Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria they think it is false, the opposite side of the room. Learners should: The facilitator will tell you the correct answer and
1. Appreciate that many people sometimes discuss any concerns or learning points. experience poor mental health. Learners can: RESOURCE: Define mental health and mental wellbeing. R5A: MYTHS AND FACTS. Understand the prevalence of mental health problems. Differentiation: depending on learner needs, this Know some myths and facts about mental health. activity can be done sitting down and learners can simply raise their hand if they think the statement is 2. Know ways to nurture good mental health true. and wellbeing. Learners can: Differentiation: learners can be divided into pairs Understand that mental wellbeing can be fostered and strengthened through personal and each pair gets one of the statements to discuss coping skills and positive relationships. and decide if it’s true or not. Facilitator reads out Identify what support is available for mental each statement in turn, the pairs can explain their health and wellbeing. thought process, facilitator can confirm or deny Understand the 5 steps to mental wellbeing their conclusions. and know how they can be applied in their own situation. There is a free online quiz which learners can take http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/mental-health- quiz
Definition: it is important for learners to understand the difference between health and
Additional Sources of Information wellbeing. Facilitators can write this up on the http://breathingspace.scot/ whiteboard or have a discussion with learners to http://www.wellscotland.info/ explore what they think the difference is. https://www.seemescotland.org/ http://youngpeople.smhfa.com/ Mental health = a person’s condition with regard to http://mindapples.org/ their psychological and emotional well-being.
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There is more to good mental health than avoiding and positive relationships, and support is available or treating mental illness. There is also positive (which we will explore further in the next activity). mental wellbeing. Mental wellbeing = more than just happiness: it is about living in a way that is good for you and good Activity 2 (15 mins) for others around you. Tree of life. This activity helps learners to identify what kind of relationships can help foster positive Feelings of enjoyment, contentment, confidence mental health, what personal coping skills can be and engagement with the world are all part of developed as well as what kind of support exists. mental wellbeing. So are self-esteem, self- Learners can be divided into 3 groups, or can confidence and good relationships. work on each of the three sections individually. 1) Roots: your own personal coping skills Learning Points: this activity is intended to get which provide you with the strength you learners thinking about mental health and need to grow. wellbeing and to feel comfortable talking about it. 2) Trunk: strengthening your emotional Facilitators should draw out from this exercise that resilience with the #5 a day and other it is not always possible to enjoy good mental activities and pastimes. 3) Branches: reaching out for support health, all of the time, and that the next activity is 4) Flowers: relationships, some of which going to help us figure out ways to help. develop, grow, mature or die away.
Learners can be given a template tree to complete Activity 1 (15 mins) in class or they can design their own using paper Problem page. Learners are divided into small or computer. groups (of 3 to 4 people) and each group is going to be an Agony Aunt/Uncle responding to an RESOURCE: imaginary problem received from a reader of R5C: TREE OF LIFE. their magazine. If learners are struggling to think of ideas for their tree, facilitators can help them by putting up They will need to agree what the problem is, how prompts on a whiteboard, or giving them a hand- it may be being caused and/or heightened by out of ideas which they can categorise into roots, external and internal factors, and offer their trunks or branches. advice to the reader. Personal coping skills: facilitators can introduce the Learners should think about what personal coping idea that everyone has their own way of coping skills the letter writer can develop, as well as what with life’s challenges, and that sometimes coping kind of formal and informal support is available. skills are more destructive than helpful. Before starting to draw their tree, you can ask learners to RESOURCE: identify helpful and unhelpful coping skills. R5B: PROBLEM PAGE Answers can be written on a whiteboard and can include: Differentiation: depending on learner needs, they can all be given the same problem to think about Helpful coping skills Unhelpful coping skills and compare their answers, or they can be given meditation alcohol different problems each. Facilitators can design relaxation self-harming their own problems if those supplied are not making time for you ignoring your feelings appropriate or relevant to the group. reading drugs sense of humour denial Extension: learners can take the problem away to caring for pets excessive working think about and come up with a longer, formal sleep and nutrition sedatives physical activity stimulants reply for their reader. hobbies and crafts pushing friends away
Learning Points: mental wellbeing can be fostered and strengthened through personal coping skills
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Extension activity: the NHS has a useful Mood Test to assess your feelings. Search for mood self- assessment quiz in the NHS Choices website. http://www.nhs.uk or go to http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety- depression/Pages/Mood-self-assessment.aspx.
Conclusion (5 mins) My 5 Steps. Learners are now going to use the knowledge gained in the previous exercise to complete their 5 steps to mental wellbeing plan. This should only take a couple of minutes, and can be kept confidential to learners if they wish. Facilitators can ask at the end of the session if anyone wants to share any of their 5 Steps with the group.
RESOURCE: R5D: MY 5 STEPS.
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Facilitator Notes
Talking about mental health them and cope with them. Sometimes we need help When you open up conversations about mental from others to learn how to cope with them. health with young people, be prepared for the The 5 Steps to Mental Wellbeing fact that some may compelled to talk about One approach to encouraging personal coping personal experiences, or the experiences of those skills among learners is to explore the 5 Steps to they know. Mental Wellbeing. Facilitators can start by If you are presenting this material in a group encouraging learners to recognise that they may setting, it is important to strive for a supportive already be undertaking actions that link to each of and non-judgemental atmosphere. Remind all the 5 steps. participants that they are required to keep Learners can appreciate how making one small conversations confidential. Group discussion is not change can make a difference, and that over time the time to reveal personal information about these small positive actions will start to feel friends or family members, as this violates their privacy. Group discussions are also not to be natural, resulting in longer-lasting wellbeing. thought of as therapy sessions. For more information on the 5 steps (sometimes called 5 ways) to wellbeing see: Review the safeguarding policies of your organisation so you know when/how you are http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety- required to act should a young person reveal or depression/pages/improve-mental-wellbeing.aspx disclose personal or troubling information in your presence. http://www.neweconomics.org/projects/entry/five -ways-to-well-being?ctaId=/workplace/mental- Arm yourself with some knowledge so if a young health-at-work/taking-care-of-yourself/five-ways- person discloses that they might need help, you to-wellbeing/slices/text/ can point them in the right direction. Be aware of local services that could support young people if it Personal coping skills is not appropriate for you to do so. Coping skills are methods that a person uses to deal with stressful situations. There are hundreds of Some useful online resources: coping skills, and not all of them are positive. Developing good personal coping skills takes http://breathingspace.scot/ practice and effort, but becomes easier with time http://young.scot/get-the-lowdown/ and habit. Most importantly, good coping skills http://safespot.org.uk/ support good mental health and wellbeing. http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ Link between physical and emotional health Facilitators should reinforce that good mental Watch your language health is not separate from good physical health – The language that is used when discussing the two are closely linked. This session links to R1 something like mental health is important. Be Positive relationships which has an exercise around aware that certain words (like ‘crazy’ ‘loony’ etc.) the link between positive relationships and health add to the stigma of mental illnesses and and wellbeing. encourage young people to reflect on this if they use words in this way. It is important to reinforce the message that mental health problems or challenges are a normal part of life. For the most part, we learn and grow from
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R5A: Myths and Facts
‘Mental health problems are very rare’
MYTH! Fact: 1 in 4 people will experience a mental health problem in any given year.
‘9 out of 10 people with mental health problems experience stigma and discrimination’
FACT! Fact: The attitudes people have towards those with mental health problems mean it is harder for them to work, make friends and in short, live a normal life. Stigma isolates people, excludes people from day-to- day activities and prevents people seeking help.
‘The majority of violent crimes and murders are committed by people with mental health problems’
MYTH! Fact: People with a mental illness are more likely to be a victim of violence.
‘People with mental illness aren’t able to work’
MYTH! Fact: Mental health problems like depression, anxiety, schizophrenia and bipolar disorder do not need to stop you from working. With the right support and the right job people with mental health problems perform vital roles in workplaces across the UK.
‘1 in 10 young people will experience a mental health problem’
FACT! Fact: Around 1 in 10 of all young people may experience a mental health problem or disorder where they may need help from a mental health specialist. There are many different types of mental health problems and they affect young people differently and last for different lengths of time.
‘It’s easy for young people to talk to friends about their feelings’
MYTH! Fact: Nearly three in four young people fear the reactions of friends when they talk about their mental health problems.
Source: http://www.time-to-change.org.uk/mental-health-quiz
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R5B: Problem Page
I spend loads of time at my friend’s house and her mum has recently cornered me a few times to find out things about her daughter. There is something going on at school and I think my friend is being bullied but she promises that she can handle it and swears me to secrecy. She’d be so embarrassed if I told her mum, but I don’t want to get the blame if anything bad happens because I’ve kept quiet.
My school always says to tell a teacher if you are being bullied. I told my form tutor about this girl who makes my life hell by calling me names and turning everyone against me. She listened and said that I just had to walk away. How can I walk away when I have to go to the same lessons as her and all her friends? I have to literally hide at lunchtime so they can’t walk into me or say stuff about my mum and where we live. I went back to my form tutor who was sympathetic but said that there wasn’t really anything else she could suggest, just said that we both needed to keep an eye on the situation. Nothing has changed and I want it to stop.
I’ve just moved to a new school where I don’t know anyone and I am feeling very lonely because my friends are all so far away. I can talk to them online, but it’s just not the same as having them there in person. This new school seems really unfriendly and I would rather just stay at home in bed than have to spend the whole day on my own. I don’t know what to do.
I’m an 18 year old girl and I am always feeling worried about having these feelings that I keep having. I get a pain in the back of my head and I can’t breathe or think properly my throat feels tight and I’m really panicking and can’t control it. It really scares me. Is this a sign of panic attacks?
I’m a 14-year-old boy and I’m not happy with the way I look. I’ve even tried self-harming, which I know is bad, but I can’t stop. I’m losing friends over it and I think I’m even losing my girlfriend. I just want to feel good about the way I am, but there’s no one to talk to. I want to open up to my friends and my girlfriend about how bad I’m feeling, but I don’t know how to. How can I tell them I feel they don’t care without hurting their feelings?
I want to go to university but I’m a carer for my dad. He doesn’t keep too well and is in hospital quite a bit. He says I should go and that he will be ok but I don’t know whether I should leave him. How will I know he’ll be alright? We live really far away in the country and my young carer group only meeting once a month so I don’t always have the chance to speak to anyone about what’s going on. My teachers say I’m good enough to go to uni but it will mean moving away from home. I’m worried about the costs of it as well as we don’t have much money. I am 17 and just about to sit my Highers at school and have applied to start uni this year but I’m thinking of just leaving school and trying to find a job and still be here for my dad.
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R5C: Tree of Life Learners can be given this page as a hand-out, or facilitators can jot the words on a whiteboard for learners to decide which should represent the roots, trunk, branches and fruit.
Roots: your personal coping skills which provide you Trunk: strengthening your emotional resilience with with the strength you need to grow. #5 a day and other activities and pastimes.
Branches: reaching out for support. Flowers/fruit: relationships, which develop, grow, mature and (sometimes) fall away.
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R5D: My 5 Steps Learners can be given this page as a hand-out, or they can copy the headings onto index/record cards.
#connect
#be active
#keep learning
#give to others
#be mindful
See the NHS website for further explanation of the 5 steps http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-anxiety- depression/Pages/improve-mental-wellbeing.aspx
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R6: Support for parents and infants
Key Learning Links with: Stages of child development including the abilities and needs of children at each stage HWB 51b Different types of support for parents and carers and the importance of asking for help Barriers to accessing support and investigation of local support options
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Internet access What do you know? Energiser quiz. Printed Resources: R6A - D How old do you think this baby/child is? Read out Materials to create posters the description and possible answers. Learners Facilities to make a film or recording should guess the right answer: by shouting out the answers individually, voting as a group or by giving each group one question and possible answers to figure out between them. Doing this exercise against the clock will make it more energetic (answers in highlighted box). Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria Description Age range Learners should: Loves looking at faces, 0-4 weeks
startled by sudden noises, 4-12 weeks 1. Understand what support children need beginning to smile Learners can: 12-16 weeks Identify the stages of childhood. Lifts objects up to suck By 3 months them, enjoys making new By 6 months Know what support children need at each and different sounds stage. By 9 months Know how parents support children, and Teething starts, sits up 4 months who else can support children. unaided and begins 5 months Identify different types of needs that eating solid food 6 months children and parents have. Starts crawling, can lift 5 to 8 months themselves up to standing, 6 to 9 months 2. Understand what support parents need learns to drop things 7 to 10 months Learners can: When do babies start 6 – 14 months Explain why parents need support. walking? 10 – 18 months Know the different types of support that exist. 14 – 22 months Understand the barriers to seeking support. Investigate support available in their area. Differentiation: activity can be done online using the NHS interactive tool which can be found on http://www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/birthtofive.aspx Learners can spend some time navigating the tool alone or in small groups to ‘revise’ then answer the questions. They can be allocated an age period to make this activity shorter. Additional Sources of Information
http://raisingchildren.net.au/ Activity 1 (20-30 mins) https://www.family-action.org.uk/ Support through the Ages. Learners should be https://www.scottishfamilies.gov.uk/ invited to design a poster targeted at parents for http://www.home-start.org.uk/ each stage of childhood – identifying: what the child needs what they will be doing who can help parents with these things
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This activity can be done individually or in Financial – support provided by friends/family, by pairs/small groups. the benefits system, educational loans and support for entrepreneurial activities. Learners can be given information about developmental milestones or can be given a blank Medical – medical care for you and your baby is version to research prior to creating posters. provided by GPs, nurses, doctors, midwives and They should spend time thinking about what health visitors. support children need from parents/carers, who else can provide support. Personal – for you, provided often by friends, partners and family – someone to talk to, hang out RESOURCE: with, and share life’s ups and downs with: R6A: SUPPORT THROUGH THE AGES emotional support can be provided by many people. Differentiation/extension: if appropriate for learners, they can do an additional exercise using Practical – help with day-to-day realities of being the Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs approach. a parent, such as babysitting, help with household Facilitator can show or hand out the standard tasks like cleaning/cooking etc., help with Maslow’s triangle showing descriptions for each transport. need, then a blank one which can be completed by learners. Can learners think of any more types of support? If divided into two groups, the learners can complete one triangle for the baby and one for How would you feel? (10 mins) this can be done the parent. By looking at these together, it should individually or in pairs/small groups. Learners are be fairly evident why parents need support given a brief case study about a parent and child. sometimes! It also enables learners to begin Then they need to answer the following questions: empathising with the baby, whose most fundamental needs are out of their control. 1) What type of support is needed? 2) What are the parent’s barriers to support? RESOURCE: R6B: MASLOW’S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS RESOURCE: R6C: SUPPORT CASE STUDIES Share what you know: Groups share their findings with the class explaining the main points. If Extension activity: The importance of asking for time available, facilitate a group discussion about help can be demonstrated by imagining endings this activity: were there any surprises, anything you for the case studies. Worst case scenario might be disagree with? what could happen if the situation continues and gets worse. Best case scenario is when the parent seeks and gets the help they need. Care should be taken with this activity and individual circumstances Activity 2 (15 mins) should be considered as it may trigger difficult Discussion (5 mins). Ask learners what types of feelings or conversations. support may be available for parents. Draw out from them that there are different types of support available. We will be looking at the following 5 types (this can be written on Additional Activity (outdoors) Whiteboard or given to learners in a hand-out): Private investigator. The task is to pretend to be a parent for the day, and to find out about what Informational – so much of what parents do is kind of support is available in your local learned ‘on the job’ so make sure the information community. This can be shared with the group, you get is from a good source! Medical either as a contacts list, or a booklet/pamphlet, or information from medically trained professionals, information from teachers, youth workers, peer as a film or radio commentary or MIE (moving supporters, as well as printed materials (books, image education) project. internet) and radio, TV. Information can also be provided via parenting groups and classes. Think about: Where can parents/children go? Where can they not go and why? - 44 -
What can parents/children do? What help is available? What is missing?
Conclusion Learners can be asked to complete an exit ticket, these can be printed out and handed to learners at the end of the lesson.
RESOURCE: APPENDIX 2: EXIT TICKET
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Facilitator Notes
Parenting responsibility Third Level, Love: Friends, Family, Spouse. Maslow Facilitators can support the idea that there may be noted that this is especially true of children, who a range of people involved in a child’s care which give their trust to adults who saw to their well- may not fit strictly with the traditional being. understanding of ‘families’ and ‘parents’. This session should be inclusive of all those involved in Fourth Level, Self-Esteem: Achievement, supporting children including grandparents, family Recognition, Mastery, Respect. Between age 9 friends, foster parents, kinship carers and months and age 2, a baby makes tremendous guardians. strides toward mastering his world. A secure baby explores his world, confident that his achievements Support needs will be admired. The exercises in this session should allow learners to think about the vast range of needs that babies Fifth Level, Self-Actualization: Creativity, Pursues and children have. Not all parents are readily Inner Talent, Develops Spiritually. Some types of equipped to meet these needs before a baby is fulfilment are unlikely for young children, but when born, but all parents have the capacity to meet they are secure and happy, they love to pursue these needs with the support and guidance of creative endeavours. Building with blocks, painting those around them. pictures or making mounds in a sandbox may come under this heading. They feel secure from criticism Babies all develop at different rates and parents and engage in imaginative play. have to adjust to the changing needs of their baby over time. Sometimes parents start out coping well Reducing the stigma of parental support but require support as their baby grows older. There is still a lot of stigma among parents about Other times parents may require more support in seeking support. Facilitators should emphasise the the early stages but less later on. The type and importance of seeking support and knowing what timing of support parents require will vary from support is out there. family to family. Often parents have an unjustified fear that if they Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs ask for help, it implies that they are an inferior Abraham H. Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs lists five parent or worse, that their child will be removed levels of human development. There is a from them. noticeable relationship between the stages of a child's development and Maslow's Hierarchy. In reality, it is only in extreme circumstances that children are removed from their families. Bottom Level, Physiological: Food, Water, Shelter, Facilitators should reinforce the message that Warmth. Maslow stated that all humans had basic asking for help does not equate to failure, in any needs. However, it's important to note children who aspect of life. lack sufficient nurturing touch in the early months of their lives fail to thrive even when they are warm, The case studies can be used to show what can sheltered and fed. happen if support is not sought when needed. This may not be appropriate for your learners, care Second Level, Safety: Security, Stability, Freedom should be taken with this activity as may be a from Fear. Maslow wrote that once basic needs trigger for some. were met, attention would then turn to other needs. By age three months, babies will respond to Facilitators can develop their own case studies if familiar faces and smile at a primary care-giver they think it would be more appropriate for their and calm when held, showing that they feel secure. learners.
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R6A: Support through the Ages A blank version of this can be printed out for learners to complete in an extension activity.
Age of What support do children need? Who else can provide support to Milestones child (from parents) parents? Starting to smile Reaching for objects Love Midwife Babbling – making new Cuddles Health Visitor 0 – 6 sounds Kisses Doctor months Putting objects in mouth Talking and singing Family and Friends Pass things from hand to Eye contact hand All of the above and: Starts eating solid foods Nutritional, healthy soft foods Sits without support Playing Health Visitor 6 – 12 Teething – getting first teeth Reading and action songs Doctor months Starts trying to crawl Safety to explore Family and Friends Learns to drop things Toys to explore colours and Responds to your voice shapes All of the above and: Starts trying to walk alone Boundaries Responds to their own name Health Visitor Safe places to learn to walk 1 – 2 Takes an interest in words Doctor/Dentist Time – lots of attention years Starts putting words together Speech & Language therapist Talking – about what is Learns to build with bricks Family and Friends around Learns to kick or throw balls Positive encouragement All of the above and: Starts to toilet train Positive home environment Learns to hold a crayon Nursery worker Songs and stories 2 – 4 Starts nursery/pre-school Support workers Support with learning years Talks well in sentences Babysitter numbers, letters, shapes, Starts to draw people colours and animals Family and Friends Starts to use a knife and fork Offering choices All of the above and: Starting school Time for creative play Cooperative playing Support with reading and Teacher Beginning to read and write 4 – 6 learning School Nurse Longer attention span years Support with learning to Parents of classmates Increasing independence share Family and Friends Sensitive to criticism Praise for good behaviour Skilfully walking, running etc. Listening and conversation
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R6B: Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Blank Triangle which can be completed from a baby’s and a parent’s perspective to identify conflict of interest:
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R6C: Support Case Studies Case Study 1: Eileen Eileen is 17 and has a 1 year old baby. Her boyfriend has got a new job working away all week. When Eileen got pregnant she lost all ties with her family. She has a good relationship with her Teen Support worker at the local Children’s Centre, but she is struggling to get all the way there to see her as often as she would like to. The bus journey is expensive and money is tight. She wants to go back to school and finish the course she started at 16 but feels like that would be impossible with a child in tow and with all the expenses of getting to college, childcare, money for books etc. What kind of support would Eileen need? - Try to list as one of our 5 types financial, informational, medical, personal, practical What are the barriers to her getting support?
Case Study 2: Tom Tom is a 35 year old Dad who has twin boys aged 4. They are both starting school in September and he is worried about one of the twins, Daniel. Since birth Daniel was always the smaller baby, and he is still not growing as fast as the older twin. Tom knows that there can be developmental delays with babies who are born prematurely, which the twins were. But Daniel cannot make basic word sounds, or hold a pen or colouring pencil, or pay much attention to stories. Tom feels like it may be his fault that Daniel is behind his twin brother. What kind of support would Tom need? - Try to list as one of our 5 types financial, informational, medical, personal, practical What are the barriers to him getting support?
Case Study 3: Julia Julia is a mum to two girls aged 1 and 4. She has not had her period for almost 2 years now (since before she got pregnant) and is getting a bit worried about it. She did have unprotected sex but knows that you are unlikely to get pregnant when breastfeeding, so she is becoming increasingly anxious that she has cancer or something else really serious. She has looked on the internet about her symptoms and thinks she must have polycystic ovary syndrome. It is beginning to affect Julia really badly, she is not sleeping at night as she is so worried about it, and she is being really impatient with her kids. She is too scared to go to the doctor to hear the bad news so she is just keeping it all inside. She feels like she cannot tell her friends and family as they would all be worried and fuss around her. What kind of support would Julia need? - Try to list as one of our 5 types financial, informational, medical, personal, practical What are the barriers to her getting support?
Case Study 4: Sandra Sandra has 3 children aged 3, 5 and 7 and last week she broke her leg on the school run! She is really struggling to get her youngest child to nursery, her middle child to primary school and her oldest child to the high school as all three are in different locations. She cannot drive due to her leg, and there are no buses in the village. She usually works as a Dance Teacher and is self-employed so the money has also dried up since she cannot do her normal job. Her leg will be in a cast for the next few weeks and her GP has told her it will be at least 3 months before she can work again. As she recently split up from her husband and has moved to a new village she does not know anybody locally who can help her and this is making her feel down. What kind of support would Sandra need? - Try to list as one of our 5 types financial, informational, medical, personal, practical What are the barriers to her getting support?
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R7: Asking for help
Key Learning Links with: Know when feelings are manageable, and when they may be a cause for concern HWB 03a Understand support needs and that sometimes asking for help is difficult Know where to find support, and who can help in finding that support
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Whiteboard Opposite emotions. This activity is based on Printed Resources: R7A – E Robert Plutchik’s psycho-evolutionary theory of Strong paper/card, glue to make ‘wheel of basic emotions (see Facilitator Notes). Learners emotions’ 3D cone may not agree with the opposites, for example, that love is the opposite emotion to remorse but at the end of the activity they can be shown Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions to explore the logic of this theory. Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria This activity can be done individually, in pairs or Learners should: small groups (allocate each pair/small group an 1. Understand the range of human emotions. emotion to identify the opposite) or as a whole Learners can: class (answers can be shouted out). Learners should Identify a number of positive and negative be given 8 emotions and will have to identify their emotions and feelings. opposites. Correct opposites can be captured on Know the difference between everyday the whiteboard. emotions, and those that may be a cause for concern. Emotion Opposite Identify the physiological signs of stress. Know that everybody will have Joy Sadness unmanageable feelings some time in their Trust Disgust life, and that some people have these Fear Anger feelings more often. Surprise Anticipation
2. Understand own support needs and Optimism Disapproval strategies to get help. Love Remorse Learners can: Submission Contempt Identify when own feelings are extreme. Awe Aggressiveness Record those feelings and appreciate that the triggers which can be avoided or Differentiation: learners can be given printed out minimised. cards to match the opposites. A sample set has Identify coping strategies for their own experience. been provided in the Resources section as well as Know where to go for help and support. the Wheel of Emotions.
RESOURCES: R7A: OPPOSITE EMOTIONS R7B: WHEEL OF EMOTIONS Additional Sources of Information Discussion: http://www.youngminds.org.uk/ Looking at the wheel of emotions: http://www.centreformentalhealth.org.uk/crisis- What emotions suggest a need for support? contacts Is it only negative emotions that may indicate a https://www.samh.org.uk/ http://young.scot/get-the-lowdown/ need for support? Can we come up with a list of serious, big feelings that are NOT ordinarily experienced - 50 -
for long periods of time in everyday life? How to avoid triggers, or minimise their impact (Facilitator could suggest: ecstasy, rage, Other things I can do when I am feeling this loathing, terror). emotion When would it be expected to experience Who/where I can go to for help and support. these big feelings (e.g. war, accident, drug use)? RESOURCE: How long do these feelings have to be around R7C: BOILING POINT CHART
to make them a cause for concern (e.g. minutes, days, or months)? Differentiation: some learners may feel uncomfortable doing this activity in a group Differentiation: facilitators may need to spend setting, or may be unwilling to disclose this kind of some time going through the definitions of these information. If so, facilitators can create a set of emotions. An important aspect of emotional scenarios which are relevant to their learners’ age, intelligence and self-regulation is the ability to experience and background. Learners can then recognise (and name) feelings in oneself and in work in groups to create charts for the individuals others. This should be done from early on in the in the scenarios. curriculum but some learners may have missed this Discussion (5 mins): experience. Some feelings are fleeting, and some stick around Extension: learners can construct a three for a bit longer. It can be hard to know when dimensional cone using strong paper/card, by feelings are taking over and having a big impact cutting out and gluing together a printed out wheel on our life. Can we come up with a set of questions of emotions (See Resources). Alternatively they can to identify when the feeling is getting too big? draw their own version, enabling them to choose How can we tell if the feeling is a cause for colours more personal to them, for example, concern? purple can represent joy and red can represent Some examples could be: loathing. This activity can be continued at home. Is the feeling stopping you from getting on
with your life?
Activity 1 (20 mins) Is it having a big impact on the people you Boiling point. Learners are going to produce an live, work or study with? emotional thermometer record to help them decide Is it affecting your mood for several weeks? when their feelings are manageable, and when Is it manifesting itself in a physiological way? they should look for help (i.e. when they hit the (see facilitator notes) boiling point). Are you thinking about hurting yourself or This activity is best done individually and others? confidentially so learners are able to safely articulate their own triggers and anxieties. Facilitator to capture ideas on a whiteboard. Does However, it can be done in a group if it is a safe anyone want to make changes to their Boiling Point and trusting environment for learners. charts based on this discussion?
A template chart is provided in the resources, or learners can come up with their own. The main Activity 2 (15 mins) sections required in the chart are: Problem shared, problem halved. The idea of this Area to name the big/unmanageable emotions activity is to get learners thinking about why some that I experience people may find it hard to talk about or get help A scale of what is ok and what is not, for me for mental health. Facilitators can write the old (see examples in the discussion below) adage ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ on Knowing what things tip me off the scale the whiteboard to set the scene for the discussion. (triggers)
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This activity can be done in pairs or small groups. happened. A responsible adult should be If time is short, learners can be divided into five available to go through the learners’ charts with groups and allocated one question each for a 5 them, or this can be done in the group if minute discussion. Then group can come together appropriate. and explore their answers. Once learners have had some time to notice their
extreme emotions, and what triggers them, they Questions could include: may find it easier to come up with the information 1. Are you able to openly discuss your feelings at needed for the Boiling Point activity. home, or with your friends? 2. Is talking about mental health different if you RESOURCE: are a boy or a girl? R7D: EMOTIONS TRACKER 3. How does the media portray mental health? 4. Is seeking help for mental health different to seeking help for physical health? Why? Conclusion (5 mins) 5. Why do some people find it difficult to ask for Users can be given a Help Card which they can help (what are they afraid of?). customise and add to as required. The Help Card will give them relevant information about the help Facilitator can capture any outstanding questions and support available to them personally. that the group has on the whiteboard. Facilitators should make sure they have the Learning points: facilitators can reinforce that not information to help learners complete their cards everybody has the answers to everything and that (e.g. knowledge about local community support seeking support for your mental health is a positive services, school-based support and so on). thing. If there is any time left at the end of the session, Extension: Activist. Stress is often a trigger for the group can discuss their ideas about who they poor mental health, especially in schools at exam can go to for help. time. The Young Minds website has some fantastic resources to help reduce stress in Schools To evaluate this session, learners can complete and and you can help the cause by becoming an hand in the Exit Ticket. Activist. Download their School Stress Campaign RESOURCES: Pack or read more on http://www.youngmindsvs.org.uk/school_stress R7E: HELP CARD APPENDIX 2: EXIT TICKET
Additional Activity Emotions tracker: the idea of this activity is for learners to bring some awareness to their big feelings, and to reflect on what triggers those feelings, as well as come up with some ideas to minimise/avoid triggers and other ways to get help and support. There is a template Emotions Tracker form in the Resources, or learners can create their own. Time can be taken to develop something that is relevant to them, using colour, stickers, and any other relevant designs. Learners can agree with the facilitator a time period in which they will complete their tracker. This should be for at least one week. They should complete the tracker as soon as possible after the event so they can accurately record what - 52 -
Facilitator Notes
Underlying message There is no right or wrong feeling, and it is This ‘wheel of emotions’ is just one of many important for learners to appreciate that only they attempts to categorise human emotion. A simple can decide what is ‘manageable’ for them, and internet search will result in many other ideas what is not. about how to distinguish and describe emotions. It may be appropriate for your learners to think Facilitators can reinforce that everybody about a more basic or more complex model of sometimes feels overwhelmed or unable to cope emotions and their interactions. with a situation. What we want to do is to understand when our feelings are getting out of In discussing these emotions, be mindful of the use hand, or unmanageable, for us, and that this is a of the word ‘normal’. Facilitators can take this very personal thing. We can take this opportunity opportunity to reinforce that whatever feeling you to destigmatise the need to get support with our have, this is a valid feeling and that knowing yourself and what is ‘normal’ for you is what mental health. counts. Comparing your experience to others will What is normal for one person may be not necessarily help in managing your feelings and unmanageable for another. Knowing when to seek may increase feelings of being ‘different’. support is not easy, but one idea is to look at how often you are experiencing the central negative Physiological signs of stress feelings – for example rage, loathing, terror and In the Boiling Point activity, facilitators can draw ecstasy are not everyday emotions associated with out from learners that sometimes their bodies will the normal ups and downs of life. let them know when the feeling is getting too much for them. Do learners know what some of these Wheel of emotions physiological signs of stress are? In 1980 Robert Plutchik created a ‘wheel of Examples include: sweating, dizziness, stammering, emotions’ which identified eight basic human shaking, headaches, shaking, sleeping problems, emotions. Plutchik described a further 8 derivative loss of appetite, muscle tension and pain. feelings, that were a result of combining two basic emotions. This wheel of emotions is used Help card extensively in marketing, social media tracking Prior to running this session, facilitators could and in robotics and computer science. The table complete a Help Card with relevant local services. below shows how the additional 8 emotions are These can usually be found by searching online, or created: by contacting local Mental Health Services.
Human feelings Useful resources (results of Basic Emotions Opposite Action for Happiness www.actionforhappiness.org emotions) Big White Wall www.bigwhitewall.com Optimism Anticipation + Joy Disapproval CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably Love Joy + Trust Remorse www.thecalmzone.net Submission Trust + Fear Contempt Depression Alliance www.depressionalliance.org Family Lives http://familylives.org.uk Awe Fear + Surprise Aggression Mental Health Foundation www.mentalhealth.org.uk Disapproval Surprise + Sadness Optimism MIND www.mind.org.uk Remorse Sadness + Disgust Love Rethink mental illness www.rethink.org Contempt Disgust + Anger Submission Samaritans www.samaritans.org.uk Anger + Turning Point www.turning-point.co.uk
Aggressiveness Awe Anticipation Young Minds www.youngminds.org.uk
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R7A: Opposite emotions These can be printed and cut out to make cards, which learners need to match up.
Joy Sadness
Trust Disgust
Fear Anger
Surprise Anticipation
Optimism Disapproval
Love Remorse
Submission Contempt
Awe Aggressiveness
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R7B: Wheel of Emotions
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R7C: Boiling Point Here is a sample chart to give learners some ideas. A completed example is on the next page. Learners should use their own vocabulary to decide what the extreme of that emotion is (scale 5) and what is ok (scale 1) for them.
Emotion: ______
Scale of emotion (1 = keeping How can I avoid or minimise What triggers the emotion? What help can I get? cool to 5 = boiling point) impact of triggers?
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COMPLETED EXAMPLE
Emotion: Fear
Scale of emotion (1 = keeping How can I avoid or minimise What triggers the emotion? What help can I get? cool to 5 = boiling point) impact of triggers?
Hangover Avoid alcohol Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)
Being tired Get lots of sleep Speak to GP
Worry about being Never walk alone Self-defence class
attacked
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R7D: Emotions tracker Learners can use this template to record when they feel an extreme or overwhelming emotion. This will help them to understand how they can manage their emotions and know when to ask for support. They can develop their own tracker if preferred.
Extreme emotion: [insert name]
What Scale How long did Date, time and physiological 1 to 5 What happened? the feelings place (bodily) signs did last? you notice?
Try to include as E.g. sweating, Was it minutes, much detail as shaking, hours, days? possible e.g. who headache, was involved, what stammering was said, what you thought, etc.
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R7E: Help card
Asking for help can be as simple as talking to somebody about your day, talking to somebody about a mental health issue or seeking therapy or medication to support your needs. It is important to remember that there is help available for you and that it is not healthy to spend too much time alone, especially if you are feeling down. Complete this card and keep it in a safe place to refer to when needed!
Often your friends or family may spot there is something wrong before you do. It is important to talk about the things that are troubling you. Ask yourself…
Who can I talk to about my feelings?
How can I start the conversation if I feel embarrassed?
Who else can I go to if I don’t feel listened to?
My positive coping skills: what can I do to keep my feelings manageable?
What local support is available? Record contact details here of community support services or health professionals in your area who can help.
National support helplines and websites. Action for Happiness www.actionforhappiness.org Big White Wall www.bigwhitewall.com CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably www.thecalmzone.net Depression Alliance www.depressionalliance.org Family Lives http://familylives.org.uk Mental Health Foundation www.mentalhealth.org.uk MIND www.mind.org.uk Rethink mental illness www.rethink.org Samaritans www.samaritans.org.uk Turning Point www.turning-point.co.uk Young Minds www.youngminds.org.uk
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R8: Active Parenting Skills
Key Learning Links with: What parents can do to provide a rich home learning environment, to give children the HWB 51a best start in life and to ensure school-readiness HWB 51b The different parental skills needed and the importance of play How what happens at home can help protect against the impact of disadvantage
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Access to internet for video footage with sound Active Debate. Learners will be taking part in an Materials to create posters active (moving around) debate. Assign one side of IT – internet access for groups/pairs the room to be ‘Agree’ and one side to be Printed Resources – R8B, R8D, R8E ‘Disagree’. Explain that you will read 3 statements and for each one they should go to the Agree or Disagree end of the room. Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria Each group will then be given a few minutes to Learners should: come up with the top 3 reasons why they agree or disagree with the statement. 1. Understand the importance and impact of the home learning environment. RESOURCE: Learners can: R8A: ACTIVE DEBATE Appreciate the impact of early life experiences on children’s development. Understand what parents can do to support If all the learners are in agreement, facilitators can their child’s development. split the group in half and assign one half to Understand that there are specific actions represent the Agree and one half to represent the parents can take to protect against the impact of socio-economic disadvantage. Disagree. Appreciate the role that teachers, the This activity contains some hard hitting facts drawn government, and other people have to provide children with the best start in life. from the Growing Up In Scotland data (see 2. Understand the importance of different facilitator notes). Facilitators should be sensitive to parenting skills. their learners and care should be taken to ensure Learners can: learners are not made to feel uncomfortable. Identify qualities of a good parent-child connection and the impact this has. The main learning point here is to show the reality Define parental control and why it matters. Identify ways to minimise parent-child that Scottish children from the lowest income conflict. quartile start school significantly behind those from better off background. In other words, they have lower levels of school readiness.
Extension: GUS have released a video that describes some of their key findings. This could be Additional Sources of Information shown to leaners – it is important to focus on the
positive impacts parents can have. http://playtalkread.scot/ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH4hsFDG1J0 http://growingupinscotland.org.uk/
http://www.educationscotland.gov.uk/parentzone/ http://www.readysteadybaby.org.uk/
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Discussion: facilitators can write this GUS data2 different age group to look at. The list of factors in on a whiteboard for learners to think about. the Resources is divided into: Babies School readiness Highest Lowest Preschool income income Children quintile quintile Below average vocabulary at 29% 54% Differentiation: learners are split into 5 teams, age 5 representing the opinion of 5 different groups: Below average problem-solving 29% 53% Team 1: Parents ability at age 5 Team 2: Medical professionals Team 3: Government How will starting school already behind their Team 4: Teachers/Youth workers peers impact these children? Team 5: Young People
Can something be done to get them up to the Doing the activity in this way will help young average scores? people to see the bigger picture, to understand What do schools do to try and deal with this the reason behind some government and school problem? policies and practice, and to empathise with the What can parents do to help? responsibilities their parents/carers and teachers What about governments? have to support their learning.
Activity 1 (20 mins) Activity 2 (10 mins) What? Why? How? GUS data shows how Best Start in Life. Learners are going to produce visual materials to identify how all parents and parenting skills can help protect against the impact families can support children no matter what of adversity and disadvantage. Low parenting circumstances they are born into. skills are defined as: low levels of parent-child connection They will be given a list of evidence-based factors low levels of control of child’s behaviour which are known to counteract, or minimise the high levels of parent-child conflict impact, of being born into deprivation and come up with a Best Start in Life poster. This exercise aims learners to really explore what these three parenting skills mean, why they impact RESOURCE: the child and the family, and how they can be R8B: BEST START IN LIFE developed in parents.
The purpose of this activity is to fire learners up, to get them thinking about the ways that they can Learners are divided into three groups: what, why make a difference to their own lives, and the lives and how. Each group will need to cover each of those around them. This is an opportunity for parenting skill and come up with flash cards to facilitators to give some hope to learners: to give to parents to explain what the skills is, why it reinforce that even those who experience poor is important, and how it can be developed. conditions in life can turn things around. They can use the internet or library to research Learners can be encouraged to see inequality as their question – there are prompts in the research something that we have the power to change in a resources. There are template flash cards which variety of ways, by the intervention or action of learners can cut out and glue back to back on governments, medical professionals, teachers, some card. parents and young people themselves.
Differentiation: if required, learners can be divided into three groups and allocated a
2 Tackling Inequalities in the Early Years: Key messages from Ten Years of the Growing Up in Scotland Study. The Scottish Government, October 2015. Edinburgh - 61 -
RESOURCES: Learners can now identify one small step they can R8C: WHAT? WHY? HOW? RESEARCH NOTES take, to help themselves, or others, who may be R8D: WHAT? WHY? HOW? FLASHCARDS experiencing adverse circumstances.
Extension: this activity can be done over a longer RESOURCE: period by asking learners to work on their flash R8E: ONE SMALL STEP cards at home.
Differentiation: instead of producing flash cards, learners can create a brief (2-3 minute) presentation about each skill, to teach their peers what they have learnt.
Additional Activity Community project – Play Talk Read. Learners can produce an activity for parents to use with their baby. They can use the website for ideas www.playtalkread.scot. The Play Talk Read website is produced by The Scottish Government to encourage parents to talk, play and read more with their kids. It has ‘easy, fun ways to help your child be happier, learn more and enjoy a better start in life.’
Preparation: who can we produce the activity for – does anyone have baby relatives; is there a pre-school or crèche in the local children’s centre or school; is there a young parents group that we can help out? Instructions: learners can be divided into three groups: play, talk and read. They will need to decide what kind of activity they will design, what resources they will need to produce it, and how and when it can be done. This can be done over several sessions as an ongoing project at the end of class, or in an after school club, or as part of youth group work. Once all learners have finished their activity, the parents/facilitator can choose a winning project.
Conclusion (5 mins) One small step. These activities have helped learners to understand how limiting unhealthy influences, and encouraging healthy behaviours, can help fight the impact of inequality and deprivation.
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Facilitator Notes
Impact of inequality parent-child connection, low levels of parental The Growing Up in Scotland study (GUS) has control and high levels of parent-child conflict.) highlighted that, even in the early years of a child’s life, there are consistent inequalities, not GUS has shown that adversity and disadvantage only in outcomes, but particularly in risk behaviours increase the risk of poor health in childhood but that we know have longer-term consequences for has also demonstrated that good parenting skills health and development. Comparing children in can help to reduce this association – and do so the highest (££££) and lowest (£) income quintiles: quite substantially for: poor general health; social, emotional and behavioural difficulties; limiting Health inequalities ££££ £ long-term illness; and poor dental health. Poor diet at age 5 13% 39% Below average vocabulary at 29% 54% Public Health England4 suggests that making time age 5 to spend together as a family, eating meals Below average problem- 29% 53% together, ensuring children are physically active, solving ability at age 5 rationing children’s non-homework screen time and High social, emotional or 3% 18% ensuring children eat a healthy breakfast, all have behavioural difficulty at age 8 the potential to improve children’s wellbeing. Lowest level of life satisfaction 19% 29% at age 8 See also references about the parent infant relationship in R2 and the importance of parental Active home learning control as a parenting skill in R10. Evidence from the GUS study3 shows that while it is Importance of play difficult to counter the very powerful socio- There is a growing interest in bringing back free economic influences on children’s lives, there are and outdoor play to our communities. The some factors that promote positive outcomes or Community Project is an ideal task to get learners build resilience, in the face of socio-economic thinking about Play, and its relevance to child disadvantage. development. A rich home learning environment can improve Further reading cognitive development for all children regardless It is advised that facilitators read the following of their socio-economic background. Specifically: documents prior to starting this session if they need reading to babies every day information about deprivation and inequality and games and songs that teach them the the importance of a rich home learning alphabet, numbers and shapes environment, and good parenting skills: taking them to different places The Scottish Government. Tackling Inequalities in the Early Years: Key messages from Ten Years Improving the physical and mental health of mothers is likely to have a positive effect on the of the Growing Up in Scotland Study. Edinburgh, October 2015. health and development of their children. The Scottish Government. Play Strategy for Given their important role in many children’s lives, Scotland. Edinburgh, October 2013. it is important to ensure that messages about positive parenting are understood by Public Health England. How healthy behaviour grandparents as well as parents. supports children’s wellbeing. London, August 2013. Supporting parenting skills can help protect against the impact of adversity and disadvantage (low parenting skills are defined as low levels of
3 Tackling Inequalities in the Early Years: Key messages from 4 Public Health England. How healthy behaviour supports children’s Ten Years of the Growing Up in Scotland Study. The Scottish wellbeing. London August 2013. Government, October 2015. Edinburgh - 63 -
R8A: Active Debate Learners decide if they agree or disagree with the statement and move to the corresponding area of the room. Each group discusses their opinion and come up with three main reasons why they are all in that side. Groups can share their reasons and facilitator can share the data/facts. See facilitator notes for more detail on the GUS - Growing Up in Scotland - study where the supporting information has come from.
STATEMENT 1: It is the teacher’s responsibility to make sure children are able to read and write – there is nothing parents can do before the child starts school.
Supporting Information: GUS has demonstrated that better cognitive ability is linked to home learning activities long before school starts: being read to every day at 10 months, being actively involved in daily home learning activities at 22 months and visiting a wide range of places at 22 months were all significantly related to ability regardless of their socio-economic background. By ensuring that parents offer these activities in the home, we can change the future for children born into deprived backgrounds.
STATEMENT 2: Parents who have no education and come from deprived backgrounds can’t change fate – there is not much they can do to prevent their children from having the same life.
Supporting Information: GUS data has shown that good parenting skills can help protect against the impact of adversity and disadvantage. The definition of good parenting skills being: high levels of parent-child connection, high levels of parental control and low levels of parent-child conflict. These skills can be developed by all parents, regardless of their background.
STATEMENT 3: Young mothers (under 24) are less well-off, less educated and unhealthier than older mums.
Supporting Information: GUS has confirmed the significant socio-economic disadvantage faced by younger mothers. Mothers under the age of 24, and particularly under the age of 20, tend to have lower educational qualifications, lower employment levels, lower income, more unstable partner relationships, poorer health behaviours and health outcomes and lower levels of engagement with formal parenting support.
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R8B: Best Start in Life This is a list of evidence-based suggestions of what can be done to somewhat counteract the inequalities suffered by children born into disadvantaged and deprived situations.
Babies Pre-school Children
Singing songs and making faces Eye contact Encouraging physical activity together
Sensitive parenting Limiting screen time Limiting screen time
Cuddling Eating family meals together Eating family meals together
Eating healthy breakfast every Eating healthy breakfast every Mimicking facial expressions day day
Reading books together every Fruit and vegetables daily Fruit and vegetables daily day
Talking to your baby Taking children to different places Outdoor and free play
ABC, 123, shapes songs/games at Limiting screen time Having good parental skills home
Breastfeeding Having good parental skills Reducing conflict in the home
Having a good parent – infant Making time to spend together as High levels of parental control connection a family
Making time to spend together as Not smoking Sensitive parenting a family
Understanding babies cues
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R8C: What? Why? How? Research Notes
Parent-Child Connection
Control of child’s behaviour
Parent-Child Conflict
Some useful websites to start your research. http://www.triplep-parenting.uk.net/ http://raisingchildren.net.au/ http://www.connectedbaby.net/the-science-of-connection/ http://www.zerotothree.org/child-development/early-childhood-mental-health/
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R8D: What? Why? How? Flashcards Users can cut out the two sides, and glue back to back on strong paper or card to make a flash card.
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R8E: One Small Step
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R9(1): Conflict Resolution – Session 1
Key Learning Links with: HWB 04a Verbal and non-verbal communication and the importance of body language HWB 45b Active listening skills to aid communication
Resources Required Activities Whiteboard Ice breaker (10 mins) Printed Resources: R9(1)A-D Guess the feeling. Ask a volunteer to come to the Access to internet for video with sound front to demonstrate how communication happens IT – Internet access for groups/pairs non-verbally. They will read a quote in 6 different ways and the rest of the group has to guess the feeling they are trying to portray through their tone of voice.
RESOURCE: Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria R9(1)A: GUESS THE FEELING Learners should:
1. Understand different ways people The instructions should be printed out and given to communicate. the volunteer who will read this quote using a Learners can: different feeling: ‘Communication is the basis of all Recognise and distinguish between verbal and non-verbal communication. good relationships. But it is our body language that Correctly identify and demonstrate emotions speaks the loudest.’ using facial expressions and body language. Respond to non-verbal cues. The rest of the group must guess the feeling. The
2. Demonstrate good listening skills. volunteer is not allowed to help them, or to Learners can: respond to questions. Once the group has guessed Experience active listening. the correct emotion, the volunteer can move onto Understand why listening is an important part the next feeling. of communication and resolving conflict.
3. Understand the meaning of body language. Facilitators can encourage learners to think about Learners can: how we know the feeling that is being expressed – Identify different ways our body language tone of voice, body language, facial expression communicates feelings. (this will prime learners for a later activity) Use body language to communicate and reduce conflict. 1. Bored
2. Confused 3. Confident 4. Happy / Excited 5. Grumpy / Angry Additional Sources of Information 6. Nervous / Anxious
The Big Book of Conflict Resolution Games Differentiation: Learners could do this activity in www.rootsofempathy.org small groups or in pairs, taking turns to try out one www.thespark.org.uk of the six emotions.
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Activity 1 (10 mins) How will active listening help in resolving Active listening exercise. Facilitators should conflict with others? introduce the concept of ‘active listening’. If you are not focused on what someone is saying, if you Extension: Facilitator can start a discussion about are thinking about what you are going to say, how this might feel for a baby or a child – to be what you are having for dinner, what’s going on ignored. A video showing the impact of ignoring outside – then you will not hear or understand the babies’ communication is the Still Face Experiment: whole message. We will now try this short https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Btg9PiT0sZg example.
RESOURCE: Activity 2 (25 mins) R9(1)B: ACTIVE LISTENING Read my body. The purpose of this activity is for
learners to understand the different ways people Split group into ‘A’s and ‘B’s and arrange them communicate with non-verbal cues. It also helps into pairs facing each other, this can be done them to understand how they can respond sitting or standing. Give ‘B’s the instructions but this appropriately. is to be kept secret from ‘A’s. As a group, in pairs or individually: brainstorm ‘A’ should tell ‘B’ about what they had for body language cues/signals. Facilitator can write breakfast in as much detail as possible, for one this prompt on a whiteboard: minute, without stopping. (If ‘A’ did not have What things do you see and hear, other than breakfast, they could describe their journey to words, which let you know what someone is school/group/session, explaining the route, mode trying to tell you? of transport and the things they passed on the way). Try to make sure the group comes up with at least these elements: Instructions (not to be shown to ‘A’s!): 1) Eye contact – this is a very important part of - ‘A’ will talk to ‘B’. body language as we explored in the active - ‘B’ will pay close attention, nodding, making listening exercise. Your eyes can show love, acknowledging noises and keeping eye contact hate, interest, boredom and many other things. but not talking at all. 2) Voice – the way you speak can make a big - After 30 seconds, facilitator to signal 30 difference to your message. Also, the pauses seconds is up. you make, timing and speed of your words - ‘B’s should immediately stop showing that they add to this. are listening by looking elsewhere, not making 3) Facial expressions – explain to learners that eye contact, fiddling with things, yawning but human expressions for basic feelings like NOT talking. happiness, sadness, anger, fear and disgust
This 1 minute exercise explores what impact active are the same across all cultures. For further listening has on both the person talking and the learning there is a facial expressions quiz: listener. http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/ei_quiz/#3 4) Posture or body movement – think about how Discussion: you stand, move, and carry yourself as this What happened when facilitator rang the bell gives lots of clues to people about what you or other signal? How did ‘B’s feel? How did it are really trying to say. make ‘A’s feel? 5) Gestures – like waving hands, pointing, What have they learnt from this exercise? speaking excitedly about something. These can Can we come up with a list of ways to actively have different meanings in different cultures listen? E.g. making eye contact, concentrating and countries so care should be taken! fully, listening, don’t think about your answer 6) Touch – lots of communication happens through before the person has finished, physical touching, like a gentle hand on your arm, or a contact etc.? tight grip on your shoulder. Remember that
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touch may be inappropriate in some situations If appropriate for learners, this makes an ideal or with some relationships. MIE (Moving Image Education) project which can 7) Personal space – you may feel uncomfortable be shared with peers to demonstrate the when someone gets too close or ‘invades’ your importance of body language. personal space. What’s acceptable depends very much on the situation, who the person is as well as your cultural background. Conclusion (5 mins) learners to complete the evaluation body to describe what they have learnt Differentiation: This activity can be done in a buzz this lesson. group to put some energy into the session. Split the group into 7 teams and allocate each of them a RESOURCE: type of body language. APPENDIX 1: EVALUATION BODY
RESOURCE:
R9(1)C: BODY LANGUAGE CARDS.
They will have two minutes to come up with a list of examples of that body language, then they can share their findings with the rest of the group. Facilitator can capture the information to be sent out to the group or displayed in the session room.
Extension: Learners can put some (or all) of the information on non-verbal communication into a poster, PowerPoint or even create a movie giving advice to other young people about non-verbal communication.
Additional Activity Body language scenarios. This can be done instead of the previous section or as an additional/take home activity. It can be done over several sessions to explore the topic in more depth.
Learners will portray two different scenarios using exactly the same words, but changing their non- verbal communication.
Facilitators can provide an example scenario or use the one provided in
RESOURCE: R9(1)D: BODY LANGUAGE SCENARIO
If possible, it would be good for learners to make up their own scenarios. This helps the exercise to be relevant to them personally.
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Facilitator Notes
Non-verbal communication - Ask questions Guess the feeling – this fun exercise is a great ice - Reflection breaker but has an important message. Facilitators - Summarisation should draw out of this that communication is less Another type of ‘active listening’ is ‘mindful about the words that are used (verbal listening’ – that is paying attention in a particular communication) and more about how people say it way, on purpose, in the present moment and non- (non-verbal communication). judgementally. There has been some misinterpretation of Mehrabian’s original work in 19725 about Relevance to conflict resolution communication and the 7-38-55% formula. He This session is all about communication and is the suggested that the perception of a speaker’s first part of the Conflict Resolution topic so should, feelings was based 7% on the words used, 38% where possible, be followed by R9(2). on the tone of voice and 55% on the facial expression. Parenthood and conflict resolution Communication and conflict resolution are essential It is best to avoid using these figures unless a full skills in life and in parenting, and whilst this session explanation is offered: for the purposes of this does not directly reference these skills in relation session it important for learners to understand that to parenthood, there may be an opportunity for communication is not just about the words that we learners to reflect on how the skills they have use. learned in this session would support them if/when
they choose to become parents. What is ‘Active Listening?’ Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and Baby communication developed with practice. However, active listening This session also links with R2, with specific can be difficult to master and will, therefore, take reference to baby states and how babies time and patience to develop. communicate. A baby’s body language gives important cues to how they are feeling and what 'Active listening' means, as its name suggests, they need. These may be different for every baby actively listening. That is fully concentrating on and parents should try to notice how their baby what is being said rather than just passively moves in different circumstances to get better at ‘hearing’ the message of the speaker. predicting what babies are trying to communicate. Active listening involves listening with all senses. As well as giving full attention to the speaker, it is important that the ‘active listener’ is also ‘seen’ to be listening - otherwise the speaker may conclude that what they are talking about is uninteresting to the listener. If learners are not familiar with the signs of active listening, spend some time explaining these to them: - Smiling (if appropriate) - Eye contact - Posture - No distraction - Positive reinforcement
5 Mehrabian, Albert (1972). Nonverbal Communication. Chicago, IL: Aldine- Atherton. - 76 -
R9(1)A: Guess the feeling
Read out this quote whilst trying to show the emotions below. Don’t move onto the next feeling until your group has correctly guessed the answer!
‘Communication is the basis of all good relationships. But it is our body language that speaks the loudest.’
1. Bored
2. Confused
3. Confident
4. Happy/excited
5. Grumpy/angry
6. Nervous/anxious
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R9(1)B: Active listening
This is an exercise to see what impact active listening has on the person who is talking – cut out as many of these instructions as needed and give them to the ‘B’ group (don’t let the ‘A’s see!). Make sure ‘B’s know they are not to talk at all throughout the exercise.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
‘A’s will talk: ‘B’s pay close attention, nod, make acknowledging noises and keep eye contact. After 30 seconds, I will ring the bell/signal that you should change your behaviour. ‘B’s: stop showing that you’re listening: look away, don’t make eye contact, fiddle with things, yawn.
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R9(1)C: Body language cards Learners can complete the cards with their ideas about each type of body language, or come up with their own ideas about non-verbal communication (some cards have been left blank for this reason).
Eyes Facial expressions
Voice Posture
Gestures Touch
Personal space Body Movement
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R9(1)D: Body language scenario Learners can run through this scene using different body language to completely change how it unfolds. For example, using it in a joking, teasing and humorous way and then using the same words but in an aggressive, argumentative way. You can ask learners to think about what happens next – how does the interaction end? It is useful to draw out here that the ending is dependent on the language both participants use. Can they come up with two different endings which depend on the body language being used to illustrate the point? Person A Absolutely no way, I am not doing it. Person B Come on, everyone does it: its fine. Person A We have already talked about it and I am too worried to do it. Person B Well I am going to do it anyway, with or without you. Person A No way, you are not.
Context: think about who these people could be and what they could be arguing about. E.g. a couple trying to decide where to go on holiday, with one wanting to go ski-ing but the other being worried about it. A parent and teen arguing about going to a late night concert. Two friends arguing about drinking alcohol.
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R9(2): Conflict Resolution – Session 2
Key Learning Links with: The impact of non-verbal communication on conflict resolution HWB 04a Strategies of non-violent conflict resolution HWB 45b Respectful and disrespectful ways of solving problems with others
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (5 mins) Whiteboard Simon Says. Playing this game at the start of the Printed Resources: R9(2)A – F session will set a positive and fun tone for what is Pens for bingo game to be a serious topic. This builds on previous learning from R9(1), reinforcing the concept of non-verbal communication.
Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria Facilitator can highlight that body language is a Learners should: powerful tool in life which can help you make and sustain positive relationships with other people. 1. Understand how we communicate. Learners can: Understand how non-verbal communication Facilitator (or a volunteer) can stand at the front can be more important than words. and explain we are going to play a game of Simon Says. 2. Understand how to respond to conflict. Learners can: Be aware of the link between stress and Check everyone knows the rules: conflict. ‘You should follow what I say, only when I start my Use the Stop. Breathe. Listen. Respond instruction with ‘Simon Says’. For example: ‘Simon strategy can help deal with conflict. Says put your hands on your head’ means you Identify strategies to deal with conflict. Understand the difference between should do it. But if I say ‘put your hands on your respectful and disrespectful ways of head’, don’t do it. resolving conflict. Facilitator could use typical expressions often seen 3. Recognise and manage conflict as it arises in their life. in negative or positive body language e.g.: Learners can: Cross your arms Appreciate that conflict is a normal part of life. Put your hands on your hips Reflect on their experience of conflict. Shrug your shoulders Identify ways to reduce conflict in their Look up and sigh own life.
Important: ‘Simon’ should carry out the instruction Additional Sources of Information regardless of whether they say ‘Simon Says’. By putting their hands on their head, many of the The Big Book of Conflict Resolution Games learners will automatically copy them without www.rootsofempathy.org listening for the instruction. www.thespark.org.uk http://www.leapconfrontingconflict.org.uk/ http://scottishconflictresolution.org.uk Activity 1 (15 mins)
Stop. Breathe. Listen. Respond. This activity gives learners a practical strategy to deal appropriately with stressful situations before conflict begins. - 81 -
Introduce to learners the link between stress and They can practice SBLR in pairs, sharing something communication. When you feel stressed out about that has upset them with the partner – ensure the a situation, you are more likely to misread the listener uses SBLR. The pairs can then swap. other person, send confusing non-verbal This can be followed up with reflections: communication signals, or over-react. Your How did it feel to use SBLR? emotions are contagious, so if you become angry How did it feel to be listened to? or upset this is likely to trigger the same feelings in How could you use this in other ways? the other person, making the situation worse. Extension: learners can develop and write their Explain to learners that we are now going to learn own scenarios (real or made up) and can share a technique to pause before reacting which can these as a play or could film them as a case study help us in situations with others, help us to calm in conflict resolution. down in stressful situations, and help us to deal with conflict. RESOURCES: R9(2)B: WRITE YOUR OWN SCENARIO Stop. Breathe. Listen. Respond (SBLR) Stop…means we stop what we are doing (if we This can be done as an extended project to last can). This means we don’t text or listen to music or over several sessions. stay on the computer.
Breathe…means that we slow down, find a place to be quiet and really concentrate on what is Activity 2 (15 mins) happening. We may turn off our computers or Conflict resolution bingo. We are now going to move to a quiet spot. Breathing helps the body play a game of Bingo! Facilitators can bring in relax so that we can truly focus. some chocolates or treats as a prize for the person or team who gets the first line. Listen…means that we allow the other person to share whatever is on their mind. What is most RESOURCE: helpful when we are in the ‘listening’ phase is to R9(2)C: CONFLICT RESOLUTION BINGO really just listen. You might say something like ‘tell me more’ to the person to really talk. Instructions: Explain the rules of bingo. In this game we will use strategies for conflict resolution Respond…means we then respond in a kind and instead of numbers. Facilitator will read out a compassionate way. One great question to ask is: strategy in no particular order. Learners need to ‘What can I do to help you? Or ‘What do you think you should do?’ cross out the square once the strategy has been read out. The first person to get a full line of Draw out from learners that, in a situation of crossed out squares horizontally, vertically or conflict it is important to try to understand the diagonally is the winner! This activity serves as an perspective of the other person before responding. introduction to the many ways conflict can be resolved in a non-violent way. There are 4 Bingo RESOURCE: cards so learners can be split into a maximum of 4 R9(2)A: SBLR SCENARIOS groups.
Leaners can use the scenarios given in the resource Differentiation: Explain the 25 ideas for conflict sheet to think about how the SBLR technique could resolution – or let learners come up with their own. be used in each. This can be done in pairs, groups Ask each person to draw a visual representation or individually. Scenarios could be acted out, or of each of the strategies for conflict resolution. This discussed in groups. could be extended so that each of these is added Learners could also use their own examples of a to the bingo card for a visual bingo game. situation of conflict as a case study. Extension: Diamond nine. Learners must agree, in Differentiation: Learners can use the SBLR their pairs/small groups, which are the 9 most technique to support friends when they are upset. important of the 25 conflict resolution ideas, with
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RESOURCE: This could be displayed in the classroom, or R9(2)D: DIAMOND NINE CONFLICT RESOLUTION extended into a poster or presentation activity.
Additional Activity Dear Diary. This activity enables learners to take time out of their life to monitor how they resolve conflict, using a diary. It reinforces that conflict is a normal part of life, so developing skills to manage conflict can make everyone’s life easier and happier.
RESOURCE: R9(2)E: DEAR DIARY HANDOUT
Instructions: Learners to take hand-out home and try to capture the following details as soon as possible after any argument or conflict. where and when the situation happened what happened who was involved what did you say what was the outcome how did you feel at the time how did it end
Ideally learners can have a safe space, either individually with facilitators or trusted peers, to reflect back on the conflict they had. They should be encouraged to think about ways it could have been managed differently, and what the other person’s perspective may have been.
Conclusion (5 mins) Reinforce to learners that there is always the potential for conflict in relationships and that what is important is how we deal with that conflict. There are lots of different ways to manage conflict with other people. Some ways are respectful, other ways are disrespectful.
RESOURCE: R9(2)F: RESPECTFUL CONFLICT RESOLUTION
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Facilitator Notes
This session builds on previous learning about can do in the here-and-now to solve the active listening, body language and communication problem. delivered in session R9 (1). It is recommended that Pick your battles. Conflicts can be draining, so all learners do these activities prior to starting this it’s important to consider whether the issue is session R9 (2). really worthy of your time and energy. Maybe you don't want to surrender a parking space if Ground rules you’ve been circling for 15 minutes, but if there Writing scenarios for the SBLR exercise is a great are dozens of empty spots, arguing over a way to engage learners and help them draw from single space isn’t worth it. their own experiences. However it may bring up Be willing to forgive. Resolving conflict is difficult feelings or cause upset within the group so impossible if you’re unwilling or unable to it is important to set ground rules about what forgive. Resolution lies in releasing the urge to example scenarios are used. This should be done punish, which can never compensate for our with the group prior to starting the exercise. losses and only adds to our injury by further depleting and draining our lives. Examples may include: real arguments that have Know when to let something go. If you can’t happened in their friendship group should not be come to an agreement, agree to disagree. It used, confidentiality should be ensured, no real takes two people to keep an argument going. names to be used. Learners can follow the If a conflict is going nowhere, you can choose ‘respectful conflict resolution’ guidelines in the to disengage and move on. conclusion (see R9(2)F: Respectful conflict http://www.helpguide.org/ resolution.) Managing conflict Behaviour diary Here are some helpful tips for managing and If learners are able and willing to keep a diary of resolving conflict from the Help Guide their conflict experiences for a week or two this organisation. Managing and resolving conflict can be a hugely rewarding exercise for them. It requires the ability to quickly reduce stress and also teaches them a fundamental skill of reflection. bring your emotions into balance. You can ensure the process is as positive as possible by sticking to Ideally parents/carers or other adults can be on the following guidelines: hand to discuss learners findings and help them to come up with ideas to positively deal with conflict Listen for what is felt as well as said. When as it arises. we listen we connect more deeply to our own needs and emotions, and to those of other Relevance to parenthood people. Listening also strengthens us, informs As with session R9(1), the skills developed in this us, and makes it easier for others to hear us session relate directly to the skills required for when it's our turn to speak. parenthood. Facilitators can highlight the Make conflict resolution the priority rather importance of developing non-violent conflict than winning or ‘being right.’ Maintaining resolution for parenthood, so that parents do not and strengthening the relationship, rather than use violence to control their children. ‘winning’ the argument, should always be your first priority. Be respectful of the other person Developing skills to respond patiently, calmly and and his or her viewpoint. consistently in situations of stress or conflict is an Focus on the present. If you’re holding on to essential part of positive parenting. grudges based on past resentments, your ability to see the reality of the current situation Other sessions will be impaired. Rather than looking to the See also session R10 which explores how parents past and assigning blame, focus on what you can provide positive, nurturing guidance in relation to their child’s behaviour.
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R9(2)A: SBLR Scenarios These scenarios can be acted out to enable learners to practice the SBLR (Stop. Breathe. Listen. Respond) technique. Teenage Couple Teen and Parent
Shaun and Nicola have been boyfriend and girlfriend Sarah (14) is desperate to go to a party tonight. She for two months. Nicola likes Shaun but has been getting hasn’t asked her mum because she knows that she won’t upset when he makes fun of her in front of their friends. let her go. So she has said she is going to a friend’s She doesn’t want to say anything in case he laughs at her house for a sleepover. or gets annoyed, and she feels a bit silly for being hurt by something so small. Sarah’s Mum phones her friend’s house at 11pm to check-in with Sarah. When she finds out that Sarah is not Shaun thinks Nicola has been acting strangely for a actually there, she spends 2 frantic hours phoning all of couple of weeks and thinks she is going off him. He Sarah’s friends to see where she is. Finally, Diana is so doesn’t want her to break up with him so he thinks if he worried that she ends up phoning the police and they arranges a night out with their friends that will cheer her come to the house to talk to Sarah’s Mum. up. Sarah comes home at 2am to find a police car outside Shaun texts Nicola to ask her to come out with their her house and her mum crying on the doorstep. Sarah’s friends on Friday night. She replies saying the Mum starts screaming at Sarah, and says she is now relationship is over and she doesn’t want to talk to grounded for a month, and all her pocket money is being Shaun. stopped.
What could have happened differently? How could Sarah respond? What if she used SBLR? How could Shaun and Nicola use SBLR? What could Sarah say or do to avoid conflict? What could Shaun and Nicola do in future? How can the situation be avoided in the future?
Young Parents Friends
Ashley and Dave are both 17 and their baby girl was Kyle and Sam have been in a lot of the same classes for born two months ago. They are living together in a the last few years of high school. They didn’t know each rented flat and Dave is working full time as an other before, but have become good friends and have apprentice electrician. spent time at each other’s houses at the weekends.
Ashley is finding it difficult to get used to being a Mum They often go out with a bigger group on Friday nights, and is finding that she can’t manage to do the shopping, and last Friday Kyle heard that Sam has been talking cleaning and cooking as well as looking after the baby. about him behind his back, and spreading rumours about Dave has taken on extra hours so that they can afford to him and his family. Kyle and Sam have different get all of the things they need for the new baby, so he is backgrounds and Kyle has been told that Sam has been really tired when he comes home from work. saying nasty things about his Mum and his siblings.
Dave can see that Ashley is struggling and asks his Mum It is now Monday and Kyle has been thinking about this to come round to clean the house and do the washing. all weekend. When he sees Sam outside of school, he When Dave’s Mum comes round Ashley is really angry cannot control his anger and tries to start a fight with and shouts at Dave’s Mum to stop butting in and let them him. Sam is angry that Kyle believes the rumours so he get on with it themselves. fights back. Both of them are punished for fighting.
Later that night when Dave comes home they end up What could have happened differently? shouting at each other about the situation and both of How could Kyle and Sam use SBLR? them end up angry and frustrated. What could Kyle and Sam do in the future?
What could have happened differently? How could Ashley and Dave use SBLR? What could Ashley and Dave do in the future?
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R9(2)B: Write your own scenario Explain to learners that they are going to draw from their own experiences of witnessing, or being involved in, some kind of disagreement or conflict in their life. This can be at home, with family, with friends, with teachers, with strangers: any situation at all. It should not be violent or abusive and should be sensitive to the rest of the group.
1. Discuss in your pairs/groups your own experiences of conflict and choose the example you want to use. 2. Agree the participants of the disagreement – what did they say, what was the response. 3. Try to see both sides of the argument by empathising with each person’s point of view. 4. Design your script – should be a maximum of 2 minutes long. Remember to capture emotions, feelings, body language as well as the words that are being said. 5. If it is a real life example, write the script ensuring that the characters use the SBLR technique (even if they didn’t in real life!) – try to show how the conflict can be resolved using the technique 6. Either act the scenario out or capture as a short film… then share with your group.
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R9(2)C: Conflict resolution bingo There are 4 different bingo cards here so you will need to divide group into four teams. Alternatively you can produce additional bingo cards by making sure the order of the statements is different on each card.
Bingo card 1
Don't gang up Understand the Be willing to Are you being Don't interrupt with others situation forgive fair?
Work out what No screaming or Don't make Don't blame each of you will kicking or No insults things worse! anyone do fighting
Remember who Take time to Try to think of a Try seeing the FREE can help you calm down solution together good in people
Don’t worry See the other Talking can lead about who is Stick to the persons point of Be honest to a solution right or wrong – agreement view focus on solution
Listen to the Treat people Respect people’s Agree to other persons Ask for someone fairly space disagree words and body else to help language
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Bingo card 2
Remember who Take time to Ask for someone Try to think of a Try seeing the can help you calm down else to help solution together good in people
Don’t worry See the other Talking can lead about who is Stick to the persons point of Be honest to a solution right or wrong – agreement view focus on solution
Don't gang up Be willing to Are you being Don't interrupt FREE with others forgive fair?
Listen to the Treat people Respect people’s Agree to other persons Understand the fairly space disagree words and body situation language
Work out what No screaming or Don't make Don't blame each of you will kicking or No insults things worse! anyone do fighting
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Bingo card 3
Listen to the Treat people Respect people’s Agree to other persons Understand the fairly space disagree words and body situation language
Don’t worry See the other Talking can lead about who is Stick to the persons point of Be honest to a solution right or wrong – agreement view focus on solution
Remember who Take time to Try to think of a Try seeing the FREE can help you calm down solution together good in people
Work out what No screaming or Don't make Don't blame each of you will kicking or No insults things worse! anyone do fighting
Don't gang up Ask for someone Be willing to Are you being Don't interrupt with others else to help forgive fair?
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Bingo card 4
Listen to the other persons Stick to the Are you being Don't gang up Take time to words and body agreement fair? with others calm down language
Try seeing the Ask for someone Remember who Treat people Don't interrupt good in people else to help can help you fairly
Work out what Don't make Be willing to each of you will FREE No insults things worse! forgive do
No screaming or Agree to Understand the Try to think of a Be honest kicking or disagree situation solution together fighting
Don’t worry See the other Respect people’s Don't blame Talking can lead about who is person’s point of space anyone to a solution right or wrong – view focus on solution
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R9(2)D: Diamond 9 conflict resolution Using the 25 conflict resolution concepts in the Bingo game, learners can identify what they think are the top 9, in order of importance. The most important concept should be placed at the top and the least important at the bottom. Learners can add new concepts to the list if there is something they feel should be in there. This can be done in pairs, small groups or as a group. 1. Listen to other person’s words 10. Don't interrupt 18. Understand the situation and body language 11. Don't make things worse! 19. Try to think of solution 2. Stick to the agreement 12. Work out what each of you together 3. Are you being fair? will do 20. Respect people’s space 4. Don't gang up with others 13. No insults 21. Don't blame anyone 5. Take time to calm down 14. Be willing to forgive 22. Talking can lead to a solution 6. Try seeing the good in people 15. Agree to disagree 23. Don’t worry about who is right 7. Ask for someone else to help 16. Be honest or wrong – focus on solution 8. Remember who can help you 17. No screaming, kicking or 24. See other’s point of view 9. Treat people fairly fighting
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R9(2)E: Dear Diary What was the Where/when (time Who was What did you outcome? How and date) did it What happened? involved? say? did you feel? How happen did it end?
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R9(2)F: Respectful conflict resolution Below are different ways of dealing with conflict – this can be adapted by learners or a blank table could be used.
Respectful conflict resolution Disrespectful conflict resolution Compromise Stubborn, no compromise
See other persons point of view Selfish and punishing
Calm and kind Angry and aggressive
Speak gently and slowly Shout and scream
‘Let go’ of resentment Create shame or isolation
Forgive and forget Withdrawing friendship/love
Confidence to disagree calmly Unable to disagree Body language: tutting, eye Body language: listening, eye rolling, giggling with others, contact, touch, keeping still sighing in frustration Not forcing others to do what you Forcing someone to do what you say want
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R10: Nurturing Authority
Key Learning The importance of being an authority figure for my child, and providing positive, nurturing guidance The importance of providing guidance for children’s behaviour with the aim of progressively helping them to learn appropriate self-control as they mature
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (5 mins) Printed Resources: R10A – G Parenting agree/disagree. Explain to learners that Whiteboard one side of the room will be for those who ‘Agree’, Internet access – groups/pairs the other side is ‘Disagree’. You are going to read out some statements and they should go to either side, or somewhere in the middle, depending on what they think. This could be done with a show of Intended learning and Suggested Success hands or discussion depending on the size of Criteria group, space available and mobility of learners. Learners should: Agree / Disagree A4 printouts can be used and 1. Appreciate the need for parents to be an authority figure for children. put up at each end to remind learners of which Learners Can: side is which. Understand what kind of authority parents have and why this is important. RESOURCES: Appreciate the parent’s role in managing R10A: AGREE/DISAGREE CARDS child behaviour. R10B: PARENTING AGREE/DISAGREE STATEMENTS
2. Understand the meaning and importance of rules. Facilitator should read out the statements and Learners can: learners will choose their spot. Facilitators can Devise a set of rules for their household and encourage Learners to discuss why they choose understand how these change as children their spot. grow. Understand how to use positive language in parenting practice. Imagine a world without parental guidance. Activity 1 (15 mins) House rules. Learners are going to experience 3. Have an awareness of Positive Parenting Basics. being a parent and deciding on what their house Learners can: rules are. They will be split into groups so they can Diagnose some parenting problems and decide the most appropriate ground rules for their identify means to resolve them. family circumstances. Appreciate how parenting styles are impacted by external factors and that these Learning points: This exercise helps young people factors change for different generations. to appreciate that making decisions about what to allow children to do is not easy, and that parents may disagree with their children and each other about what is ok, and what is not. It also helps Additional Sources of Information learners appreciate that as children grow older; their ability to look after themselves increases and http://www.triplep-parenting.uk.net/ so parents can increase their responsibility. http://www.parentsasfirstteachers.org.uk/ http://www.parentgym.com/home The activity can be used as an opportunity to http://www.mellowparenting.org/ reinforce that there is no single, right way to be a parent; that parents sometimes make mistakes; - 94 - and that most parents are trying to do the best http://www.triplep-parenting.uk.net/ they can with the resources that they have. http://www.parentsasfirstteachers.org.uk/ http://www.parentgym.com/home RESOURCES: http://www.mellowparenting.org/ R10C: FAMILY GROUP CARDS http://raisingchildren.net.au/ R10D: HOUSE RULES EXAMPLES http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/pregnancy- and-baby/Pages/being-a-parent.aspx Divide the group into ‘families’ and allocate them each a family group varying in age of children. Activity 2 (15 mins) Allow ‘families’ 10 minutes to decide what their Positive parenting basics. There are many house rules are (maximum of 5 rules). Each family parenting programs available which can support should then explain to the group why they have parents with their children’s behaviour, from tots to chosen those rules for their age groups. teenage years.
Encourage learners to keep language positive e.g. Many of them reinforce the need for positive ‘put dirty clothes in the laundry’ rather than ‘don’t parenting – i.e. providing nurturing and positive throw dirty clothes on the floor’. discipline for misbehaviour rather than punishment. This exercise will allow learners to come up with Learning points: setting rules and consequences is some basic parenting strategies to deal with strongly related to expectations about children’s misbehaviour. behaviour. For example, expecting a toddler to sit still for 2 hours in a quiet restaurant is not a Split learners into pairs/small groups and explain reasonable expectation, and it is very likely that that each one is going to research some ideas for the child will ‘fail’. Reinforce the idea that as a young family who are struggling with their children grow, the rules will change. toddler’s behaviour.
Discussion ideas: They will all be given the same scenario but they Why might parenting be more complicated will need to come up with some ideas about their when you have children with a big age gap allocated positive parenting topic. between them? What kind of behaviour would a child display Topics: if left to their own devices? Providing a calm home How do you know when it is ok – how would Encouraging good behaviour you find out? For example, is there a law Dealing with undesirable behaviour about at what age children can be left alone Being consistent in the home? Giving clear instructions How do you know what age children should be able to control themselves? Ignoring minor undesirable behaviour
Extension Activity RESOURCE: Learners can think of ways that parents and R10E: POSITIVE PARENTING BASICS families might encourage children to stick to the rules. Give groups the scenario and some prompts to Remind learners that the best way of guiding help learners come up with ideas for the family. behaviour is a positive and constructive approach. Give learners time to read the scenario and come They should think about consequences that are up with some practical suggestions of how the age-appropriate and relevant. family can make life a little calmer. They can then share their ideas with the group. Learners can put these in a ‘Top Tips’ poster, called ‘Guiding Good Behaviour’. They could use the following websites to research if needed: - 95 -
Note: groups are likely to come up with different Learning points: care should be taken to explain solutions – this is a great example of how parents that this is not a test, or a criticism of own might do things differently. carers/parents, but a balanced assessment of what influences parents. Extension: Book Review. If appropriate learners can explore a fictitious and graphic account of what happens when there is no parental guidance Conclusion by reading and reviewing the 1954 book by Learners to complete an evaluation body to William Golding: Lord of the Flies. identify what they’ve learnt this session.
There are some suggested discussion questions for RESOURCE: the book in the resources, or learners can simply APPENDIX 1: EVALUATION BODY have an open discussion after the book has been read.
RESOURCE: R10F: BOOK REVIEW
Additional Activity Research project: Impact on parenting styles. This is an important aspect of a parenthood education session as it helps learners to see the bigger picture, to appreciate that parenting behaviour is dependent on a huge number of internal and external factors. Learners are going to design a survey, conduct research, analyse and produce results.
Instructions Learners to design a survey of around 10 questions to ask parents what influences their parenting style. See Facilitator Notes for some ideas about what influences parenting styles.
Surveys can even be put online on a free survey software and sent out to the wider community, or to all parents in the school, so more results can be gathered.
Learners can analyse results and produce information about their findings. Discussion can explore: What kind of things influence parenting? Are any of these under your control? Who can influence these factors (e.g. governments, health practitioners, and young people)? What does your research tell you about how parenting changes with different generations?
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Facilitator Notes
Good enough parenting construct, parents emotional availability, All parents face struggles when it comes to guiding relationships between parents, parental interaction their children’s behaviour and that there are many and involvement. different ways of parenting. Parents are likely to Other sessions make mistakes, disagree with each other and/or This session is linked to R1 (Positive Relationships) change their approach. All of these things are and R8 (Active Parenting Skills). acceptable and exist on a continuum of ‘good enough’ parenting. Positive parenting skills In order to guide children’s behaviour, parents need to have positive, nurturing, affectionate and communicative relationships with clear boundaries and consistency. Positive parenting can be descried as an approach which aims to: help children to behave positively help children in difficult behaviour situations encourage child development.
There is lots of great research and evidence about types of positive parenting and we have chosen for this activity a small subset of topics to do with nurturing authority: Providing a calm home Encouraging good behaviour Dealing with unwanted behaviour Being consistent Giving clear instructions Ignoring minor unwanted behaviour
Parental styles research project - tips This session is not about scrutinising what learners parents do or have done in the past (‘the past is for reference, not for residence’). This is about thinking about their potential to be parents in the future and how they can best be prepared for that. Here are some ideas about influences on parenting style, which can be positive or negative. Impact on parenting styles: peer pressure, financial and work situation, availability and type of childcare, positions in family, life events, moving house/school, bereavement, gender, expectations, stereotypes, culture, child rearing practice and family expectations, gender expectations, family and background, own parenting experiences, bonding and mental health, siblings, family - 97 -
R10A: Agree/Disagree Cards Agree
Disagree
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R10B: Parenting agree/disagree statements I wish my parent/carer was more of a friend than an authority figure. Learning point: although friendship is important, a parent’s role is to protect their children from harm, so they do have to be the one making decisions/having authority. When children are little, parents need to be more of an authority figure than when they are older. Learning point: being a parent means gradually allowing children the freedom to be more independent but this is not easy – there is no manual – and every child is different. Why might this mean parents sometimes struggle with knowing what they should and should not let their child do? If little children are allowed to eat as much chocolate as they want, stay up as late as they want, and have what they want, this will make them happy. Learning point: most learners appreciate that when children are little, parents/carers have to provide limits on things like chocolate and bedtimes. Introduce the idea that parental control is important. What would happen in a household with lots of young children who can do what they want, when they want? What would happen when those children got to school and are expected to sit down when they are told to, share toys with other children, be kind and make friends? I know what my parents expect from me and when I have broken the rules. Learning point: do young people know what acceptable behaviour in their house is? Is this different to their friends? Do they know their house rules? Are these written down anywhere, or does everyone know what they are? How would this change with younger children and how can parents explain rules to younger children? Primary school kids in Primary 1 and 2 should walk to school on their own. Learning point: most learners will accept that letting young children walk to school on their own could be dangerous. Can they think of why young children should not be allowed to walk to school on their own? What are some of the dangers? When should they be allowed to walk to school alone? What factors should be taken into consideration when deciding whether children can walk to school on their own? It is easy to know what children can do on their own and when they need help from an adult. Learning point: reinforce the idea that with parenting there is no manual: parents have to figure it out as they go along and that sometimes they make mistakes. How do small children feel when they can’t do things on their own? What happens if adults try to help with too many things? If parents and young people can work together to establish house rules, and reasonable consequences of them being broken, then family life is a lot more peaceful.
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R10C: Family Group Cards
Newborn baby 6 month old
18 month old baby who is crawling 18 month old baby who is walking
Toddler who loves trying new food Toddler who is being potty trained
3 year old and baby brother/sister 3 year old who is in nursery
4 year old who is in Primary 1 6 year old and 4 year old siblings
4 year old and 12 year old siblings 7 year old who is in Primary 4
7 year old and 9 year old children 10 year old and toddler sibling
8 year old and 18 month old sibling 10 year old twins
12 year old and 10 year old siblings 12 year old and 18 year old sibling
13 year old and 4 year old sibling 13 year old and 15 year old children
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R10D: House rules examples Learners can come up with their own house rules without having to refer to this list but you can use this list to offer some suggestions if they are struggling.
No smoking in the house Always be home by midnight Always phone if you are going to be late No drinking alcohol Bedtime is 7pm Put dirty clothes in the laundry Bedtime is 8pm Put dirty dishes in the dishwasher/sink Bedtime is 9pm Sit at the table until everyone has finished No painting on the walls No pooing in the bath Have a wee before we leave the house No hitting your sibling Share toys with others No touching the oven door No shutting doors on fingers Keep your seatbelt done up No crossing the road alone No going out until you finished your homework Only use computer with adult supervision Keep hot drinks away from toddlers Not being in the bath alone No opening the front door Keep the front door locked Keep kitchen door locked Keep medicines in high cupboards No spitting No farting at the table Sharing your toys No shouting No interrupting Time out for arguments Family meetings No using mobile in bed Have family meals together Keep your room tidy
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R10E: positive parenting basics It is late in the afternoon, Josh is 2 years old and is having a temper tantrum. He wants his baby sister’s cuddly rabbit and usually gets his own way when he screams. His Nana was watching him whilst mum went for a bath. Nana decided to turn on the TV (very loudly as she’s a bit deaf) so when Josh snatched the rabbit from baby Janey, Nana didn’t notice. She only noticed Josh had taken the rabbit later when he started throwing it at the window. When she noticed, Nana snatched it back, Josh got very upset and has now been screaming for about 5 minutes.
Earlier in the day Josh had been playing really nicely with Janey, showing her his toys and singing songs to her. Mum and Nana were watching from the kitchen but didn’t say anything because they didn’t want to disturb the moment. Now mum can hear Nana shouting at Josh ‘Why do you always do this you should know better? How do you think you would feel if I took your bunny away? Now you can see how it feels so next time I hope you will remember that!’
Mum knows that Josh won’t understand half of what Nana is saying, so she shouts down from the bathroom at Nana to stop shouting at Josh. Dad comes home from work, hears all the commotion and then he starts shouting at Nana. ‘Why have you made Josh cry, give him the rabbit it really isn’t worth fighting over’.
Mum comes out of the bath and takes the rabbit off Josh. ‘Why have you got Janey’s rabbit, you know it’s not yours, you can play with something else’. She gives the rabbit back to Janey who is fast asleep.
Can you help this family with some positive parenting basics? -- Providing a calm home – it seems like everyone in the house is either shouting or crying or both (apart from Janey). How will this make Josh feel? What can be done to make the house feel a happier place? Are the adults engaging with Josh or is he having to make his own fun all the time?
Encouraging good behaviour – both Mum and Nana noticed when Josh was behaving well but they chose not to say anything. Why was that? Do you think Josh is getting more attention for misbehaving than he is for behaving well? Do you think he cares that he is in ‘trouble’ or is he just happy that someone is noticing him?
Dealing with unwanted behaviour – what did Josh think when Nana snatched the rabbit off him? Did he realise it was a result of his own behaviour? Did she calmly explain what she was doing? If Josh gets things snatched off him, do you think that is teaching him not to snatch or is it teaching him that to get something, you have to snatch it!
Being consistent – Josh is getting conflicting messages from all the adults in his life. What can they do to make sure he gets the same message? As he grows older, how can the whole family ensure that everyone knows what is OK, and what is not OK in their family? Would some clear house rules help?
Giving clear instructions – when Nana shouts at Josh she is using language he won’t understand. He can’t hear her with the TV blaring out and quickly loses interest if he doesn’t understand. Nana is half telling him off, half asking him questions but not waiting for the answer. How can grownups make sure the children understand their instructions?
Ignoring minor unwanted behaviour – after all this stress, Janey, the ‘victim’ of the bad behaviour, is fast asleep. Was it really worth everyone getting so very upset? How could the family members decide what battle is worth fighting, and which isn’t? If Janey doesn’t even care about the rabbit, is it worth coming down so hard on Josh? The saying ‘choose your battles’ is very relevant here!
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R10F: Book Club
Here are some suggested discussion points for the Lord of the Flies book, suggested by LitLovers www.litlovers.com.
1. Talk about the differences between the two main antagonists, Ralph and Jack. How are they different from one another, and what broad ‘types’ of individuals do they represent?
2. In what way can Piggy with his eye glasses be seen as representing the rational, scientific aspects of society?
3. What role does the conch play? How does it represent a civilizing force?
4. What does the beast represent? How is it used by Jack to control the others? Are there parallels for ‘the beast’ in the real world, the one outside of fiction?
5. What does Simon mean when he suggests that the beast is only the boys themselves?
6. Why do the littleuns choose to follow Jack and the hunters rather than Ralph? Is it because they feel safer with Jack's group, believing that Jack can protect them? Or do they enjoy what the hunters do?
7. What do you feel Golding's vision of humanity is? Do you think he believes we born with an instinct for peace and cooperation...or for dominance and savagery? Does his vision accord with your own?
8. What do you think about the rules of civilization? Do they free us and enable us to rise to our best selves? Or do the rules constrain our bad nature that lie at the heart of ourselves?
9. What does hunting mean to Jack...at the beginning, and then later? What happens to his mental state after he kills his first pig?
10. What is ironic about the naval officer who arrives to ‘rescue’ the boys? How does Ralph feel about returning to the safety of civilization? Why does he weep—is it relief, or something else?
11 Golding wrote his novel 10 years after the close of World War II and during the era of Communist containment. In what way does his book reflect the particular world politics of his time? Does the book have relevance today?
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R11: Respecting Relationships
Key Learning Links with: How relationships develop and change over time and how to nurture relationships HWB 05a How best to care for others emotionally and practically HWB 09a The importance of empathy in relationships HWB 10a
Activities Resources Required Space to put chairs in a circle Ice breaker (10 mins) Printed Resources: R11A – R11D Love my neighbour. The idea of this game is for Whiteboard or Flipchart learners to uncover shared experiences, to deepen Internet access – pairs/individuals their understanding of one another’s background and interests and to reinforce a sense of community.
Put chairs in a circle facing each other with enough chairs for all learners bar one. One learner starts Intended learning and Suggested Success the game off standing in the middle; everyone Criteria else should be sitting down in a chair. Explain to
Learners should: learners that everyone will get a turn and to be careful when moving around. 1. Understand how relationships develop. Learners can: The first player stands in the middle and makes a Identify important factors in nurturing statement that is true about themselves beginning relationships. Suggest how best to care for others, in an with ‘I love my neighbour who …’ emotional and practical sense. Make judgements on which methods of For example ‘I love my neighbour who has a big caring for others, in an emotional and sister’. Everyone who has a big sister in the group practical sense, have the most impact. has to stand up and move to a chair not directly Appreciate how relationships develop over time and that sometimes relationships end. next to where they were sitting. The person in the middle is also looking for a chair so one person 2. Appreciate the importance of empathy in should be left standing who hasn’t got a chair. relationships They then stand in the middle and make a Learners can: Understand how shared experiences can statement that is true about themselves beginning lead to empathy. with ‘I love my neighbour who …’ Experience empathy with people they may not have had contact with before. For example ‘I love my neighbour who likes playing football’. Everyone who likes playing football in the group has to stand up and move to a chair not directly next to where they were sitting. The game Additional Sources of Information continues so that everyone gets at least one turn to make a statement. Source: Playworks www.playworks.org https://startempathy.org/ Discussion: http://www.respectme.org.uk/ https://super.me/about/ What did you learn about your peers? http://lovesmart.thesite.org/menu Was anyone surprised when people stood up http://www.thesite.org/relationship-advice for certain things?
How did it feel to be up there alone?
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How did it feel when you discovered others Empathy with them can help the disagreement to shared your experience? be resolved in a non-destructive way. Extension: Learners can come up with their own scenarios - they need to be short and snappy, no Activity 1 (30 mins) swearing! These could then be swapped/shared Through the keyhole. Facilitator to introduce the with the group for brainstorming. idea that relationships are influenced by many Differentiation: Learners can be split into two factors such as: previous relationships; pressures groups. Group 1 can be those identifying practical from others; the media leading us to form an support, Group 2 can identify emotional support. idealised view of relationships which may be This will make the activity shorter. different from reality.
Facilitator can write on a whiteboard 6 success factors for sustaining positive relationships which Additional Activity this exercise will explore: How do relationships develop? Learners should be encouraged the think about how relationships Acceptance of difference start, develop and sometimes end. Every Capacity for boundaries relationship has a different timeline with significant events, moments and things that can change how Operating mainly in the present each person feels. Respect for individual choice Skill in negotiating RESOURCE: Sharing positive feelings R11D: RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE Facilitators should discuss with learners what these Learners can use the timeline template to think about how a particular relationship has factors mean (see facilitator notes). developed, from first encounter to present day. By Learners (in small or large groups) will ‘act out’ looking at how relationships develop, learners can relationship disagreements or problems as if seen reflect on the time it takes, shared experiences ‘through the keyhole’ at home/school/youth centre. and understanding required for relationships and Reinforce that disagreements in relationships are friendships to grow. often ‘behind closed doors’. Learners can also do this exercise by interviewing RESOURCES: their parents, grandparents, or friends about a R11A: THROUGH THE KEYHOLE: FACILITATOR good relationship that exists to try and map out R11B: THROUGH THE KEYHOLE: SCENE CARDS how it became so strong. R11C: THROUGH THE KEYHOLE: BRAINSTORMING Differentiation: Learners could use this online timeline creator to map out the development of the You will need 2 volunteers per group (12 relationship they have chosen to explore: volunteers in total). For small groups, people can http://www.readwritethink.org/files/resources/interact take turns. Groups will be given a short scene – ives/timeline_2/ there are 6 scenarios – and will act their mini- drama out in pairs in front of the group. Then learners need to brainstorm practical and Conclusion (5 mins) emotional ways to support both individuals. Ideas Discussion. Discuss with learners what empathy is can be written on the brainstorming sheet or and why it is important in forming positive captured by the facilitator. relationships. The following videos could be useful. Facilitators should model good behaviour by What is Empathy? showing empathy for both individuals. Learners https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icIlUdTEQnU need to appreciate that sometimes the person who Brené Brown on Empathy seems to be ‘in the wrong’ will be suffering also. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Evwgu369Jw
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Discussion points: What is your definition of empathy? How can empathy help you understand how to care for someone – both emotionally and practically? Why can empathy help you develop and value relationships?
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Facilitator Notes
Empathy University of Warwick: research6 suggests the The term ‘empathy’ is used to describe a wide following characteristics are helpful in nurturing range of experiences. Emotion researchers successful relationships within family relationships, generally define empathy as the ability to sense friendships and partnerships. We have used this as other people’s emotions, coupled with the ability to the foundation for our Through the Keyhole imagine what someone else might be thinking or exercises. feeling. An acceptance of difference: embracing Contemporary researchers often differentiate difference within a relationship rather than between two types of empathy: ‘Affective attempting to change the other person to be the empathy’ refers to the sensations and feelings we same as ourselves. get in response to others’ emotions; this can include Capacity for boundaries: understanding others mirroring what that person is feeling, or just cannot meet all our needs although we may aspire feeling stressed when we detect another’s fear or for this at times. anxiety. ‘Cognitive empathy,’ sometimes called Operating mainly in the present: avoiding ‘perspective taking,’ refers to our ability to focusing repeatedly on past grievances or basing identify and understand other peoples’ emotions. a relationship on the hope of future improvement. Studies suggest that people with autism spectrum Respect for individual choice: adapting a disorders can have a hard time empathizing. relationship to respect each person’s autonomy and right to choose his/her own path in life. Empathy seems to have deep roots in our brains Skill in negotiating: discovering each person’s and bodies, and in our evolutionary history. wants and needs and then working out a way to Elementary forms of empathy have been observed fulfil these different goals without one person in our primate relatives, in dogs, and even in rats. having to compromise totally. Empathy has been associated with two different Sharing positive feelings: sharing kindness and pathways in the brain, and scientists have thoughtfulness within a family relationship or speculated that some aspects of empathy can be friendship. For a couple, sharing sexual intimacy. traced to mirror neurons, cells in the brain that fire when we observe someone else perform an action Differentiation: facilitators may want to change in much the same way that they would fire if we the snippets in Through The Keyhole to better performed that action ourselves. Research has also reflect their own learner needs and experiences, uncovered evidence of a genetic basis to empathy, or their cultural, religious, physical or special though studies suggest that people can enhance (or educational needs. restrict) their natural empathic abilities. Relationship development Having empathy doesn’t necessarily mean we’ll When doing the relationships timeline exercise, it is want to help someone in need, though it’s often a important to draw out that sometimes relationships vital first step toward compassionate action. end, and this is OK. As we grow and change, so Source: do the people who spend time with and it can be http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/empathy/definiti better to end an awkward or uncomfortable on relationship rather than continue trying to keep it alive. There are no right answers to this exercise, Promoting Empathy in Schools but it is a useful way for learners to explore how Ashoka have produced a freely available and relationships develop. comprehensive Toolkit for Promoting Empathy in Schools which we encourage all facilitators to look Other PREP Sessions. at and use. They have lots of useful resources See also sessions R1 Positive Relationships and online at https://startempathy.org. R9(1) and R9(2) Conflict Resolution
6https://www2.warwick.ac.uk/services/tutors/counselling/informationpages /relationshipsandhowtomanagethemwell/ - 107 -
R11A: Through the Keyhole: Facilitator The following snippets have been created as examples of behaviour conducive to good relationship building. After each snippet, learners are to identify how to support each individual emotionally and practically. There are no wrong and right answers but suggestions for emotional and practical support needs have been included. It is important for learners to come up with their own ideas, but these suggestions can be used as prompts.
1) An acceptance of difference: embracing difference within a relationship rather than attempting to change the other person to be the same as ourselves.
Person A: it is so messy and disorganised in here all the time. Why can’t you just keep all your things in one place? Your stuff is everywhere and I don’t see how you can ever find anything. And I can’t find the tickets for the gig now because we just have papers all over the place. Person B: I know where everything is though. I remember where I put them and if you come along and move things then I can’t find them. Person A (shouting angrily): well I wouldn’t need to move them if you just put them away! Person B (crying): why does it always have to be me who changes, can’t you see that maybe this is MY way of doing things and it works for me?
Practical support Emotional support Person A Put up a noticeboard or pin board for Anger management – finding more tickets and important things, and a box effective ways of communicating for filing away papers. without instantly resorting to shouting. Person B Have a designated place where they Emotional management – finding ways can chuck things like receipts and of being assertive in the face of paperwork so it’s not all over the home aggression rather than crying. (e.g. a drawer or filing box).
2) Capacity for boundaries: understanding others cannot meet all our needs although we may aspire for this at times.
Person A: When we first met I told you I loved going fishing, our first date was a fishing trip and it’s a massive part of my life. Person B: I know but I don’t want to spend every Saturday morning doing it – why can’t we go to the shops instead? Person A: You should come with me if you love me – it is my hobby! You should like it too. Person B: I could say the same thing about shopping! I love it and I want to share it with someone who loves me, who actually WANTS to spend time with me!
Practical support Emotional support Person A Finding someone else who can go Understanding that not every person can fishing with them or should meet all your needs, and that Person B Finding someone else who can go in life it is important to cultivate shopping with them different relationships with different people to meet different needs
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3) Operating mainly in the present: avoiding focusing repeatedly on past grievances or basing a relationship on the hope of future improvement.
Person A (parent): you promised you would stop lying but I know you will do it again, you always do. Person B (teen): I promise I won’t lie to you again, I just knew you would be so angry and I couldn’t handle another night of shouting and screaming. Person A: I told you after last time, I want you to stop smoking and I am going to kick you out if you carry on. That’s it. How can I trust you if you always lie to me? Person B: How can I be honest with you if you won’t let me be myself? Anyway it wasn’t my fault; all my mates were smoking so I couldn’t exactly say no.
Practical support Emotional support Person A Mindfulness classes to try to let go of Help in breaking repeated cycles of the past and future, and focus on the behaviour, parenting classes to support present. managing teenager’s behaviour. Person B Smoking cessation support always Help in managing behaviour in social available free from NHS. situations
4) Respect for individual choice: adapting a relationship to respect each person’s autonomy and right to choose his/her own path in life.
Person A (parent): no way are you dropping Biology, you need to do it to be a Nurse Person B (teen): I am not even sure if I want to be a Nurse anymore. I love drama and I really want to study Acting in more depth Person A: what are you talking about? We have always said you will be a Nurse, we’ve said it for years. How will you even make any money from acting? Person B: I don’t know. I don’t even know if I can change my choices now to follow my dream. Maybe I should just stick with Biology but I hate the idea of giving up my dream. Person A: it’s a silly dream, you are just being lazy. I expect that after all the money we have paid to get your exam grades up you should at least pay us back by following this through.
Practical support Emotional support Person A Parenting classes to help understand Another adult who can support and that parents have to let young people understand Parents feelings of choose their own path. disappointment – and work through them to come to an acceptance of their child’s decision. Person B Help with choosing study options to Another adult who can support and understand if they can change and understand that choosing drama as a study drama (e.g. careers guidance). career is just as valid a choice as nursing
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5) Skill in negotiating: discovering each person’s wants and needs and then working out a way to fulfil these different goals without one person having to compromise totally.
Person A: Why do you even want to go to that place, it stinks and it’s falling down? Person B: We just want somewhere to hang out, and to practice for the Big Band competition. Person A: What’s wrong with your bedroom? Person B: It’s too small, there are 7 people in our band and we aren’t allowed to even play that loud at home. If we don’t get into the competition this is my last chance to be a singer. Person A: No way: you aren’t hanging out there alone, you are too young. I am petrified that something will happen to you, it will give me those panic attacks again. Anyway I would rather you worked towards something more meaningful like being a doctor or vet.
Practical support Emotional support Person A See GP for help with panic attacks. As well as with emotions, help to understand that Panic attacks are a sign of anxiety their goals are not necessarily the same as the which can be helped. Learning some other person! mindfulness techniques may help. Person B Finding a safe venue where they can Support to remind them that there is always practice their music and hang out in the another way to get to the same goal, things are evenings. never as bad as they seem.
6) Sharing positive feelings: sharing kindness and thoughtfulness within a family relationship or friendship. Person A parent: (crying) It feels like all I ever do is shout at her (Person B teen), and I feel like she hates me right now. I am just not coping with all the things I have to do with the baby as well. We never say a kind word to each other. Person A’s friend: I don’t know what you can do but it is not your fault. Person A: She just comes home, goes to her room, slams the door and doesn’t come down. I think she is struggling with getting to school on time now she has to get the bus. Person A’s friend: Are you still leaving all her meals outside on a tray? Maybe that isn’t helping as it means you never actually talk to each other.
Practical support Emotional support Person A Someone to help cope with day to day Some help to share positive feelings with older care e.g. of baby or a babysitter so can child so it’s not always negative. Being able to spend some quality time with person B. be thoughtful to their needs. Person B Some help in getting to school- finding out Some work on anger management or building if there is a bus or a car share up a better relationship with mother. arrangement that can be organised. Time Communicating their problems to come to an management and planning, can things be amicable resolution. Sharing some good times prepared the night before to reduce time together, being kind to each other to make getting ready in the morning. home life better.
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R11B: Through the Keyhole: Scene Cards
1) An acceptance of difference
Person A: it is so messy and disorganised in here all the time. Why can’t you just keep all your things in one place? Your stuff is everywhere and I don’t see how you can ever find anything. And I can’t find the tickets for the gig now because we just have papers all over the place.
Person B: I know where everything is though. I remember where I put them and if you come along and move things then I can’t find them.
Person A (shouting angrily): well I wouldn’t need to move them if you just put them away!
Person B (crying): why does it always have to be me who changes, can’t you see that maybe this is MY way of doing things and it works for me?
2) Capacity for boundaries
Person A: When we first met I told you I loved going fishing, our first date was a fishing trip and it’s a massive part of my life.
Person B: I know but I don’t want to spend every Saturday morning doing it – why can’t we go to the shops instead?
Person A: You should come with me if you love me – it is my hobby! You should like it too.
Person B: I could say the same thing about shopping! I love it and I want to share it with someone who loves me, who actually WANTS to spend time with me!
3) Operating mainly in the present
Person A (parent): you promised you would stop lying but I know you will do it again, you always do.
Person B (teen): I promise I won’t lie to you again, I just knew you would be so angry and I couldn’t handle another night of shouting and screaming.
Person A: I told you after last time, I want you to stop smoking and I am going to kick you out if you carry on. That’s it. How can I trust you if you always lie to me?
Person B: How can I be honest with you if you won’t let me be myself? Anyway it wasn’t my fault; all my mates were smoking so I couldn’t exactly say no.
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4) Respect for individual choice
Person A (parent): no way are you dropping Biology, you need to do it to be a Nurse
Person B (teen): I am not even sure if I want to be a Nurse anymore. I love drama and I really want to study Acting in more depth
Person A: what are you talking about? We have always said you will be a Nurse, we’ve said it for years. How will you even make any money from acting?
Person B: I don’t know. I don’t even know if I can change my choices now to follow my dream. Maybe I should just stick with Biology but I hate the idea of giving up my dream.
Person A: it’s a silly dream, you are just being lazy. I expect that after all the money we have paid to get your exam grades up you should at least pay us back by following this through.
5) Skill in negotiating
Person A: Why do you even want to go to that place, it stinks and it’s falling down?
Person B: We just want somewhere to hang out, and to practice for the Battle of the Bands competition.
Person A: What’s wrong with your bedroom?
Person B: It’s too small, there are 7 people in our band and we aren’t allowed to even play that loud at home. If we don’t get into the competition this is my last chance to be a singer.
Person A: No way: you aren’t hanging out there alone, you are too young. I am petrified that something will happen to you, it will give me those panic attacks again. Anyway I would rather you worked towards something more meaningful like being a doctor or vet.
6) Sharing positive feelings
Person A parent: (crying) It feels like all I ever do is shout at her (Person B teen), and I feel like she hates me right now. I am just not coping with all the things I have to do with the baby as well. We never say a kind word to each other.
Person A’s friend: I don’t know what you can do but it is not your fault.
Person A: She just comes home, goes to her room, slams the door and doesn’t come down. I think she is struggling with getting to school on time now she has to get the bus.
Person A’s friend: Are you still leaving all her meals outside on a tray? Maybe that isn’t helping as it means you never actually talk to each other.
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R11C: Through the keyhole: Brainstorming 7 success factors for sustaining good relationships
1) An acceptance of difference: embracing difference within a relationship rather than attempting to change the other person to be the same as ourselves.
Practical support Emotional support Person A
Person B
2) Capacity for boundaries: understanding others cannot meet all our needs although we may aspire for this at times.
Practical support Emotional support Person A
Person B
3) Operating mainly in the present: avoiding focusing repeatedly on past grievances or basing a relationship on the hope of future improvement.
Practical support Emotional support Person A
Person B
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4) Respect for individual choice: adapting a relationship to respect each person’s autonomy and right to choose his/her own path in life.
Practical support Emotional support Person A
Person B
5) Skill in negotiating: discovering each person’s wants and needs and then working out a way to fulfil these different goals without one person having to compromise totally.
Practical support Emotional support Person A
Person B
6) Sharing positive feelings: sharing kindness and thoughtfulness within a family relationship or friendship.
Practical support Emotional support Person A
Person B
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R11D: Relationship Timeline This exercise can be done interviewing two individuals who have a good relationship or can be completed with a made-up relationship. Helpful icons have been produced which can be cut out and stuck on, or learners can draw/download other icons appropriate to them.
DAY 0 DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
DAY
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R12(1): Practical Parenting – Session 1
Key Learning Links with: HWB 09a Practical aspects of parenting including safety, finance and budgeting for my family HWB 51a Responsibility of having a child including the costs associated with having a child HWB 51b
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Whiteboard Printed Resources R12(1) A – B Energiser quiz. This can be done quickly to Access to internet – individually/pairs/groups energise the group. Facilitator should read the three questions out and give learners up to 1 minute to decide their answer and then discuss (can be done in pairs / groups / teams / individually). Answers in bold boxes. Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria Learners should: The cost of raising a child (from birth to age 21) 1. Understand the responsibility of having a is: child. a) 80,000 Learners can: b) 150,000 State the costs of raising a child up to age 21. State at what age group the costs are highest. c) 230,000 State what things parents need to pay for when raising children. Most of the costs incurred are: Give an example of ways parents can reduce a) Food and presents (including driving lessons, the expense of having a child. first car, Christmas and birthday gifts)
b) Education and childcare 2. Understand what responsibilities parents have in regards to keeping their children c) Holidays and hobbies safe. Learners can: Which is the most expensive period for parents? State two things parents can do to keep a a) The first four years baby safe at home. State two things parents can do to keep a b) From age 4-8 baby safe in the garden. c) From age 8-12 State two things parents can do to keep a d) From age 12-16 baby safe on the roads. e) From age 16-21 Give an example of where parents can go to find safety information for babies and Discussion points: children. Is anyone surprised by this? How can parents reduce the expense of children? E.g. childcare: using friends and family, staying at home with babies until they Additional Sources of Information go to school. What are the implications of this for young http://www.capt.org.uk/ parents? http://www.childsafetyweek.org.uk/action- pack/ http://raisingchildren.net.au/ Activity 1 (15 mins) http://www.homesafetygame.com/index.htm Shopping List – The cost of parenthood. In teams/pairs, list the things you will need to buy or pay for in a child’s life time. This activity can be done in several ways: differentiate according to
- 116 - learner needs. Use the Facilitator notes to help 7) We can work it out (Babies and toddlers identify categories and their costs. quiz): Our quiz includes some useful pieces of advice to share with your family and friends. Version 1: Shout it out. 8) We can work it out (Growing kids): Our quiz Facilitator uses whiteboard to write up the following age categories and ask each class includes some useful pieces of advice to share member to shout out an item/group of items to with your family and friends. add to each list: Once all the quizzes are done put the teams on the 1) From age 0-4 leader board: which team got the most points/ 2) From age 4-8 right answers? Learners should then go back to the 3) From age 8-12 quiz where it tells them the correct answers. Do Version 2: Team game. they disagree with any answers, or need further Divide learners into 3 groups, allocate each group exploration of them? one of the age ranges above. Give them 10 minutes to brainstorm and write down what Extension/Differentiation: Learners can use the parents will need to pay for in their age group. interactive online home safety guide: Then each group can state what they came up http://raisingchildren.net.au/home_safety/home_s with, and the rest of the learners can add their afety.html ideas. Learners can select the age range and review rooms for any safety issues and how to fix them.
Activity 2 (15 mins) Extension/Differentiation: Learners can use one of Keeping babies and children safe. This can be the following interactive games about home done individually against the clock, or in pairs, or safety: in teams if resources are limited. You can organise https://www.nationwideeducation.co.uk/safety- the room into two teams so they can compete education/home-safety/teachers/12-16_home-safe- against each other taking one or two quizzes each. sorted/interactive-activities.php#img-index Or each pair can do one separate quiz. Can be done one-on-one if additional support is needed.
There are 8 easy to use quizzes online at Additional Activity http://www.capt.org.uk/get-involved/quizzes Keeping baby safe. Learners should think about 2 1) Bathroom safety quiz: Is your bathroom a things that parents can do to keep their baby safe safe haven? Or is it full of accidents waiting to in these different locations: happen? At home 2) Garden safety quiz: Is your outside space a In cafes and restaurants safe refuge? Or do hazards lurk among the At the Doctor’s leaves or in the garden shed? In the car 3) Liar liar fire quiz: Your pants won’t catch fire if Whilst walking to town you tell a lie. But, if there’s a real fire where They can record these in the table provided. you live, it helps to know the facts about fires and how to escape. And you should make sure RESOURCE: the grown-ups in your home know the facts too! R12(1)A: KEEPING BABY SAFE 4) Hall safety quiz: How hazardous is your hallway? 5) Kitchen safety quiz: Is your kitchen the safe Conclusion (5 mins) heart of your home? Or is it a hotspot for What did you learn today? Ask learners to submit accidents? an Exit ticket on their way out (make this a bit of 6) Road safety quiz: How safe are you out on fun: you can only exit with a completed ticket). the streets or behind the wheel? RESOURCE: APPENDIX 2: EXIT TICKET
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Facilitator Notes
Information about costs to raise a child taken from the annual survey from the Centre of Economic and Business Research (CEBR) for the insurer Liverpool Victoria (also known as LV=). The full report can be found online at https://www.lv.com/upload/IFA-Rebrand- 2009/pdf/2015/jan/coac-report-final.pdf
2015 2003 Education £74,319 £32,593 Childcare & Baby sitting £67,586 £39,613 Food £19,517 £14,918 Holidays £16,675 £11,458 Other (includes first car, driving lessons, birthday and Christmas £14,167 £8,845 presents) Clothing £10,942 £11,360 Hobbies & Toys £9,377 £8,816 Leisure and Recreation £7,486 £6,366 Pocket money £4,603 £3,386 Furniture £3,434 £2,074 Personal £1,146 £925 Total £229,251 £140,398
Source: LV=, 2015
CAPT is the Child Accident Prevention Trust and have many activities and resources online to help keep children safe. It is advisable for practitioners to do the quizzes themselves first before getting learners to! www.capt.org.uk
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R12(1)A: Extension Activity
This can be printed out for learners to complete if they finish the task before others in the group. Can be give out to all other learners as homework.
What two things can parents do to keep their baby safe when they are....
At home
In cafes and restaurants
At the Doctor’s
In the car
Whilst walking to town
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R12 (2): Practical Parenting – Session 2
Key Learning Links with: HWB 09a The practical aspects of parenting including safety, finance and budgeting for my family HWB 51a The responsibility of having a child including the different daily tasks HWB 51b Activities Resources Required IT – Audio-visual facilities Ice breaker (10-15 mins) Internet Access – individual/pairs/groups Wake up call. Play a short video/audio clip of a Printed Resources – R12(2)A – B crying baby. The facilitator should prepare the Baby props/doll lesson by finding a short video clip of a baby
crying to show learners (or use this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JVsQaJfjiQ) Learners are then asked to brainstorm different Intended learning and Suggested Success reasons why a baby might be crying (too hot, too Criteria cold, hungry, tired, need a nappy change, too Learners should: noisy etc.). It is important to highlight that a crying baby is not a bad baby but is a baby trying to 1. Understand what tasks parents have to do communicate their needs. to look after a baby. Learners can: State the things parents have to do every Discussion could also include how to soothe a day, and how long this may take crying baby – touch, singing, talking, or comforter Give an example of ways parents can get (http://raisingchildren.net.au/articles/crying_baby help with day to day tasks _pip.html) 2. The learner will know how to complete a If possible facilitator could bring in a doll/prop to household budget. talk about different ways to hold/soothe a crying Learners can: baby. It is important to highlight that babies should Explain the meaning of financial terms: income, expenditure, profit, loss never be shaken (for more info on coping with Demonstrate how to complete a budget crying babies see: plan to prepare for parenthood https://www.nspcc.org.uk/globalassets/documents 3. Know basic first aid. /advice-and-info/handle-with-care-guide- Learners can: keeping-baby-safe.pdf) Recognise when someone has a burn or a scald and respond appropriately 24 Hours with a Baby. Learners should brainstorm Recognise and respond appropriately to what things parents have to do every day to look someone who is choking after their child – and how long it takes! Recognise the signs and respond appropriately to someone who has Things parents have to do every day: meningitis Recognise and respond appropriately to d) Changing nappies someone who has a head injury e) Cleaning/washing f) Crying g) Dressing h) Feeding/winding Additional Sources of Information i) Keeping safe j) Sleeping https://www.nspcc.org.uk/services-and- k) Bonding resources/research-and- l) Talking and playing resources/2015/handle-with-care/ http://mybnk.org/wp- How many hours a day do you think parents content/uploads/2012/01/Jargon-Buster- spend: Final.pdf a) Helping crying babies (A: 2 hours) b) Changing nappies (A: 1.5 hours) c) Feeding babies (A: 8 hours) - 120 - d) With sleeping babies (A: 12.5 hours) example if learners are not at home with parents this activity may prove difficult. Discussion points: Is anyone surprised by this? Extension: Learners can produce a colourful How can parents get help with the tasks they handy ‘top tips’ poster/postcard for new parents have to do every day? focussing on different ways to save money. Where can they go for help?
Differentiation/Extension: Learners can watch the Activity 2 (15-20 mins) 24 hours with a newborn baby video: First Aid. St Johns Ambulance has a range of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9QndNXcnCU excellent lesson plans for teachers to deliver They can try to remember each of the things they see the parents doing in 24 hours. sessions on a huge range of topics. For the parenthood program we suggest the following 4 modules as options: Activity 1 (15-20 mins) Burns and scalds: http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/pdf/Burns-and-scalds- Family budget. This activity builds on previous learning from R12 – Session 1. It can be started in FINAL-23.pdf class and completed at home, or worked on over Choking (child and infant): several sessions. Learners will need to understand http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/pdf/choking-39.pdf basic financial terms including: income, Meningitis: http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/schools/a-z- expenditure, profit and loss. This can also be done of-all-first-aid-modules/meningitis.aspx as a home or ongoing project task. Head injury: http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/pdf/head- 56.pdf Learners create a budget spreadsheet for The learning resources are all available free pregnancy and early parenthood using a online at http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/schools/a-z- computer spreadsheet package. Spreadsheet to of-all-first-aid-modules.aspx include: Income of parents (salaries, benefits, First Aid training can be delivered by teachers in tax/benefits/financial support) schools who have first aid qualifications, or by a Expenditure by parents (by category) qualified St. Johns Ambulance facilitator. Learners Profit/(loss) can also work towards a qualification. See website for more details www.sja.org.uk. Differentiation: Facilitator can provide learners with a template spreadsheet complete with totals Differentiation: Show learners ‘The Chokeables’ calculations, or learners can develop it from choking hazard warnings for parents: scratch. Alternatively, learners can input figures into the Barclays Budget Calculator http://www.sja.org.uk/sja/support-us/our- http://www.barclaysmoneyskills.com/Your- campaigns/baby-choking-the-chokeables.aspx money/Budget-calculator.aspx Ask learners to list other things that babies might choke on. Then to create a poster warning parents RESOURCE: of choking hazards and how to protect them. R12(2)A: BUDGET PLANNER. Extension: The Red Cross have an interactive site Version 1: create in class. This activity can be for ongoing work on first aid – requires sign-up done in class over a 20 minute period to http://firstaidlearningforyoungpeople.redcross.or brainstorm, as a group, what these figures may g.uk/ be. Will require some input from facilitator.
Version 2: Interview your parents/carers. Learners can take the activity home and spend Conclusion some time with their parents/carers to complete Learners can complete an ‘exit ticket’. the spreadsheet to help with family finance. This RESOURCE: may be a very useful exercise for their family. Care should be taken with this request, for APPENDIX 2: EMPATHY EXIT TICKET - 121 -
Facilitator Notes
It is important to reinforce the message that a First Aid for children: lesson plans. crying baby isn’t a ‘bad baby’ but a baby with First aid gives young people something amazing – feelings they are trying to communicate. The the confidence to do the right thing when it really message of ‘Never Shake a Baby’ should not be counts. used to frighten learners but to inform them of their responsibilities as possible future parents. You can help St. Johns Ambulance teach a generation first aid – through using their teaching The NSPCC resource provides a simple and non- resources, inviting a St John Ambulance trainer to threatening look at how to cope with a crying teach first aid at your school, or taking part in the baby and how to protect babies from injuries. It is Big First Aid Lesson. important to reinforce with learners that when a baby cries frequently, it can sometimes feel like These free, downloadable teaching resources offer too much for parents to handle. The important you first aid training that’s tailor-made to meet the thing is to try not to get angry with a crying baby needs of your group. Free first aid teaching – this is not helpful for parent or baby. Learners resources. The lesson plans provide teachers and could also be encouraged to think of different youth leaders with the tools to pass on life saving ways of trying to calm down or seek support when skills to students aged between 7 and 16 years faced with a crying baby. old, whether you’re teaching in the classroom or helping a youth group earn their first aid badge. On average babies spend 2 hours a day crying, need 8 nappy changes (10 mins each), 8 feeds Knowing basic first aid is a very useful skill for (approximately 1 hour each), and sleep between parents. Being able to keep your children safe 12-16 hours a day. and know when to call an ambulance and when to administer first aid could make a big different to Average 24 hours the health and wellbeing of a child. Crying 2 hours Sleeping 12.5 hours Nappies 1.5 hours Feeding 8 hours Source: Parentskool CIC Budget Planning Managing finances can often be a stressful part of parenting for any family. This is particularly true for young parents as they may not have much experiencing of budgeting prior to becoming a parent. This exercise can be used independently or as a follow-up to session R12(1). This could also be linked with SHARE Session 18 – looking at activities that learners regularly do, the associated costs and whether they could continue to do these if they had a baby. For a more interactive look at the financial aspects of parenthood, learners can research and create posters or information leaflets for new parents.
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R12(2)A: Budget planner This can be printed out for learners to complete in class/at home. Calculating Household Expenditure WEEKLY MONTHLY ANNUAL INCOME Wages or Salary Wages or Salary (partner) Child Benefit Disability Living Allowance Tax Credits Income support Housing benefits Any other benefits Jobseeker's Allowance Maintenance contributions Other income TOTAL INCOME EXPENDITURE Mortgage or rent Ground rent/service charges House insurance Life insurance/pension Council Tax TV License Gas Electricity Other fuel Phone and mobile phone Other TV costs (subscriptions) Car costs (hire purchase, insurance, tax, MOT etc.) Debts (store/credit card/loan repayments, other arrears) Clothes and shoes (for you and child) School costs (meals, uniform, school trips) Childcare (babysitter, after school clubs) Toys and books for child Food Leisure and recreation Holidays and hobbies Presents Furniture Other costs:
TOTAL EXPENDITURE Total income Total expenditure Profit or (Loss)
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R13: Child Health & Wellbeing
Key Learning Links with: Responsibility of parents to nurture children's development, health and wellbeing HWB 51a Importance of providing children with security, stability, happiness and love HWB 51b
Activities Resources Required Ice breaker (10 mins) Printed Resources: R13A – R13G Back in the day. This icebreaker quiz will get Internet access – individuals/pairs young people thinking about how the world has changed both for better and for worse since their parents or grandparents were children. This activity builds on previous learning about the importance of play in R8, but can be delivered Intended learning and Suggested Success independently. Criteria Learners should: RESOURCE: R13A: BACK TO THE FUTURE QUIZ 1. Understand factors affecting children’s health and wellbeing Discussion points: Learners can: How have children’s lifestyles changed? List internal and external factors affecting health Do you know what was not around then (e.g. Identify which factors affect the body, mind mobile phones, home computers, laptops, touch or both screen technology, on demand viewing, Know that parents have control over some of these factors recording from live TV, iPods/iPhones, internet, music streaming, digital downloads, widespread CD players, Facebook, twitter and 2. Understand the importance of security, stability, happiness and love all the other social media platforms!) Learners can: Other life changing factors that didn’t exist in Understand the meaning of security, stability, happiness and love 1985: Sunday opening of shops, Sunday Identify ways in which parents can provide working, 24 hour shopping, online shopping, security, stability happiness and love social mobility, the pressure on mums to be
working, free childcare for 3 year olds, late night licenses for pubs/clubs, fear about letting children play outside!
How might these factors influence today’s Additional Sources of Information parents? http://www.parentsasfirstteachers.org.uk/ http://www.zerotothree.org/baby-brain- Learners: ask your parents/grandparents about map.html how and where they used to play when they were http://www.gov.scot/Topics/People/Young- your age... you may be surprised! Facilitators can People/gettingitright/well-being draw out from learners how a child’s external http://www.wellbeingforyoungscots.org/ environment can encourage or discourage them wellbeing from playing.
RESOURCE: R13B: COMMUNITY PLAY
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Differentiation: learners can be given these Activity 1 (20 mins) factors as laminated cut out words. The words can Mind map: Factors affecting health. be split equally among learners and they can Split learners into groups – one group looking at work in pairs to decide if their factors relate to the Child’s Mind and the other group looking at mind, body or both. They can post their words the Child’s Body. Explain that each group will be onto posters to create mind-maps for: creating a Mind Map of factors that impact 1. Mind children’s health and wellbeing. This can either be 2. Body done on paper or using online tools such as: 3. Mind and Body https://www.mindmup.com/ https://www.text2mindmap.com/ At the end Learners have 5 minutes to discuss (If necessary spend some time explaining how to different opinions about where the factors have create a mind map and what we mean by been placed. children’s health and wellbeing – see facilitator notes) Further Extension – Tweet up: what are the top RESOURCES: things a parent can do to improve their children’s mental and physical health? Produce a set of 5 R13C: FACTORS AFFECTING HEALTH R14D: MIND MAP AND WORD CLOUD EXAMPLE tweets for mind and 5 for body, to educate parents about this using the hashtag Leaners can start from scratch, be given prompts, #healthyfutures (remembering the limit is 140 or they can use the list in R13C to get them characters). Tweet them to @WAVE_Trust and started. we will RT the best! Learners will have 15 minutes to brainstorm and capture in a mind-map the factors that impact children’s health and wellbeing: Activity 2 (20 mins) BuzzWord group: definitions. Split learners into 4 1. MIND: Emotional/mental health and teams and explain that they will now be given 2 development minutes to discuss the meaning of an important 2. BODY: Physical health and development part of child development with 4 BuzzWords: the need for parents to provide children with 1) security, 2) stability, 3) happiness and 4) love. Factors can be internal – including how the Each team should be allocated a word to think parent’s own mental health affects the child – and about and define. external such as how the street the family lives in can impact on how much a child can play. This activity can be done against the clock to give some energy to the group. Learners can be Extension: learners could combine the mind and provided with post it notes to put on a larger body mind maps and could colour code the piece of paper, or can jot their ideas down on A4 internal and external factors paper. After 2 minutes bring the groups back Learning points: this exercise is intended to together to discuss their ideas. explore the many factors that influence our Facilitator can write definitions on whiteboard. physical and mental health. There are no right or Learners will now move onto the next part of the wrong answers. At the end of the activity, activity. facilitators can introduce the idea that some factors can be influenced (by parents/carers or by Differentiation: if time is short, facilitator can young people themselves) and some cannot. simply write out the definitions of these aspects of parenting and discuss briefly why they matter. Differentiation: if learners are not familiar with mind-maps they could produce a thought cloud of RESOURCE: their ideas on paper or online using: R13E: BUZZ WORD DEFINITIONS http://www.abcya.com/word_clouds.htm
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Job advert. Imagine you are producing a job Additional Activity advert for a parent. Facilitator can provide Community Survey. Learners can design a survey learners with example headings such as: for use in their group and/or with peers to find out Job description about their community. Learners can design their Working hours, pay, benefits, holiday own questions or use those from Play Scotland Desired experience (www.playscotland.org) to compare their Qualifications community to the rest of the country. Knowledge They can ask: how much time do you spend every Must have day? Nice to have Playing outside
RESOURCE: Playing card games R13F: JOB DESCRIPTION Playing with other kids outside of school Watching TV Learners can produce their own poster or be Playing games provided with the template Job Advert form which Telephoning/texting friends they can complete in pairs or in small groups to speed this activity up. Listening to music Participating in sports They should include the BuzzWords in their advert: Walking the need to provide children with security, stability, happiness and love. Learners can consider: What other factors may discourage children Learning points: children brought up without from playing outside (e.g. parents fears, important protective factors (like security, stability, weather, traffic, safe open spaces)? happiness and love) are more likely to suffer from What can be done to encourage more outdoor poor mental and physical health, regardless of play? how much money their parents have. Whose responsibility is this – is it government, teachers, parents? Or all of them together? Discussion: What action can young people take to change Are these protective factors (the BuzzWords) their environment? See more important than having the latest games http://greenspacescotland.org.uk/ for some console or a big house? ideas. What might be going on in parents own lives
that impact their ability to provide children with what they need to thrive? What happens to children who are not getting Conclusion Learners to complete an ‘exit ticket’ and hand into their needs met by their parents/carers? Who facilitator. else can they go to?
RESOURCE: It may be worth pointing out to learners that the APPENDIX 2: EXIT TICKET recent Scottish Government ‘Named person’ is a direct attempt to ensure that all children have a dedicated adult who they can approach for help or advice if they need it. There is a website about the Named Person for young people here: http://www.wellbeingforyoungscots.org/named- person
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Facilitator Notes
Many of parent's fondest childhood memories are of playing outside, however, outdoor activities that What is Health and Wellbeing? for parents were part of growing up seem to be in The Scottish Government uses eight indicators of danger of disappearing. As this survey in England wellbeing to describe areas in which children and (Savlon/Play England July 2011) showed: young people need to progress in order to do well 42 per cent of children have never made a now and in the future. These are: Safe, Healthy, daisy chain Achieving, Nurtured, Active, Respected, 32 per cent have never climbed a tree Responsible and Included. A quarter of children have never had the simple pleasure of rolling down a hill Health and wellbeing can, in a more general way, refer to both physical and mental health including 47 per cent of adults built dens every week enjoying good relationships, self-confidence, and as a child, yet 29 per cent of today's children contentment. If it is appropriate, learners can have never built a den at all discuss how they would define health and A third of children have never played wellbeing. (See session R5 for further information) hopscotch One in ten children have never ridden a bike Factors affecting health and wellbeing There is a great degree of complexity around The increasing pressure on parents to work, and wellbeing and the interrelationship between for children to be looked after in childcare outcomes, and between physical and mental settings, increased social mobility and the health. It is not always clear as to which is the associated decline in the extended family, growth symptom is and which is the cause. in technology: there are many reasons why childhood has changed beyond recognition. For example, poor mental health can be a factor in reducing exercise and increasing obesity, and But there is growing appreciation of the equally, obesity can be a factor in poor mental importance of play. In November 2015 the health, anxiety and depression. campaign spearheaded by Denis Law to remove There is some interesting research about children’s NO BALL GAMES signs from Aberdeen’s green health and wellbeing in these documents: and community spaces is an excellent example of The Scottish Government: Tackling Inequalities in how communities can support their children’s play. the Early Years: Key messages from Ten Years of the Growing Up in Scotland Study. Edinburgh, Also, the Scottish Government is championing Play October 2015. through its National Play Strategy The Scottish Government: The Scottish Health (http://www.gov.scot/Topics/People/Young- Survey – Topic Report: Physical Activity. Edinburgh, People/early-years/parenting-early- 2014 learning/play) so that all children and young Public Health England: How healthy behaviour people have the opportunity to play every day. supports children’s wellbeing. London, August 2013. Mind Maps A mind map can be a really useful and interactive way to capture ideas. They contain a central ‘idea’ with related topics that extend from the central point like branches. It is a good way to display information visually and to connect different ideas. From the main idea, create branches (as many as needed), that each represent a single word that relates to the main topic. This can be built on and extended to include sub-branches and sub-topics.
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R13A: Back to the Future Quiz
This can be done as a True/False quiz with a show of hands or moving to either side of the room – with extra points for guessing the correct numbers in the answers
1. The number of hours of ‘screen time’ for 14 year olds has doubled since 1995. TRUE 1995 = 3.2 hours of screen time | 2015 = 7.5 hours of screen time
2. Young people have fewer electronic devices now than they did in 1995. FALSE 1995 = TV and/or games console | 2015 = TV, computer, tablet, mobile, games console, streaming, YouTube
3. The number of young people with computer access at home has increased by more than 50% in 20 years TRUE 1995 = 28% home computer access | 2015 = 80% home computer access
4. Young people aged 12 – 15 watch roughly the same amount of TV as 12 – 15s did 10 years ago TRUE 2005 = 14.7 hours per week | 2015 = 15.5 hours per week
5. Young people aged 12 – 15 use the internet for about the same amount of time per week as in 2005 FALSE 2005 = 8 hours per week | 2015 18.9 hours per week
6. Young people today don’t spend as much time playing outside as their parents did TRUE In 1970s/80s children spent 3 hours each weekday and 9 hours at the weekend playing outside. Today children spend just over 1 hour each weekday and fewer than 5 hours at the weekend.
7. The number of 15/16 year olds with depression and anxiety is much the same now as 30 years ago FALSE it is more than double - The proportion of 15/16 year olds reporting that they frequently feel anxious or depressed has doubled in the last 30 years, from 1 in 30 to 2 in 30 for boys and 1 in 10 to 2 in 10 for girls.
8. Tooth decay in children has decreased in the last 20 years TRUE Number of children with no obvious experience of tooth decay in P1 – 1988 = 42% vs. 2014 = 68%
9. Levels of obesity in children in Scotland has not changed much in the last 20 years TRUE Percentage overweight children in Scotland in 1988=28% vs. 2008=31.7%
10. In the last 30 years the number of children with eczema has doubled FALSE It has tripled.
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R13B: Community play
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R13C: Factors affecting health
Age Beliefs BMI
Carers Character Community
Creativity Culture Dental health
Diet Disability Education
Entertainment Environment Estates
Exercise Expectations Extracurricular activities
Family Finance Friendships
Gangs Gender Green spaces
Happiness Health Hobbies
Hope Housing Illness
Language Law Learning
Leisure centres Love Mental health
Motivation Neighbours Obesity
Open spaces Parents Parks
Play Prospects Protection
Proximity to school Reading Relationships
Relaxation Religion Resilience
Rules Schools Screen time
Seasons Security Skills
Sleep Social cohesion Social support
Socialising Socio-economic status Sport
Stability Street safety Team sports
Urban design Use of technology Weather
Wishes Writing
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R13D: Mind Map and Word Cloud Examples
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R13E: Buzz Word Definitions These prompts can be used to help learners define the 4 aspects of parenting. Or can be handed out to learners prior to starting the Job Advert exercise.
Security Stability
The degree of predictability and The extent to which a child is free from consistency in a child’s social, emotional fear and secure from physical or emotional and physical environment. harm.
When children have stability they are able When children feel safe and secure they to develop positive emotional health. learn to trust other people.
We provide children with stability by We make children feel safe by meeting having consistent relationships (with their basic needs and by showing them parents, grandparents, friends and family), that we love them and providing them routines and daily structures, and a place with a safe space to live and play. to call home.
Happiness Love
A positive emotional state of wellbeing, A strong feeling of affection and care – feeling contentment, joy and pleasure. including warmth, tenderness, nurturing
and other positive qualities. Happiness for children can come in many
forms and is supported by positive When children feel loved, they feel valued, relationships, opportunities for play, respected, supported and cared for. having positive experiences, freedom to Children feel loved when they are explore and security to be comforted in cuddled, played with, listened to, talked times of need. to, understood and appreciated.
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R13F: Job advert Job description: parents wanted! Do you love spending time changing nappies, singing nursery rhymes and staying up all night feeding? Then we have the perfect job for you.
Working hours:
Pay / benefits / holiday:
Desired experience:
Qualifications:
Knowledge:
Must have:
Nice to have:
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R14: Parental Roles and Responsibilities
Key Learning Understand the enduring and complex responsibility having a baby involves and how it may Links with: impact their life choices and options. HWB 51a Be aware of the skills, attributes and qualities that a parent needs.
Activities
Resources Required Ice breaker (15 mins) Flipchart paper/pens It’s Not Just a Pram. This exercise is intended to Printed Resources R14 A-F gauge the views of the young people participating Access to internet – individually/pairs/groups in the session and allow them space to share their views.
Facilitator should read each of the ten statements out and ask learners to go to either the ‘agree’ or ‘disagree’ end of the room. If they are not sure, Intended learning and Suggested Success Criteria Learners should: learners can stand somewhere on the imaginary line between Agree and Disagree. 1. Understand the impact that having a baby has on life choices and options. For each statement, facilitators should gently ask Learners can: one person at each end of the line about why they Be aware of their own feelings about parenthood and how it may impact them feel that way. If there are learners standing in the Explore some preconceptions about single middle, ask them too. parents and benefits RESOURCE: 2. Understand the roles and responsibilities R14A: IT’S NOT JUST A PRAM of being a parent. Learners can: The exercise is intended to create discussion and Identify important skills and qualities of a share opinions, backed up with facts and figures. good parent/carer Appreciate the concept of good enough parenting Explain the roles and responsibilities of Activity 1 (20 mins) parenthood with relation to human needs The Ideal Parent. This activity will enable learners to explore the positive roles and responsibilities of being a parent. Explain to the group that we will be thinking about what skills and qualities every parent/carer needs. For the purpose of the exercise we are going to focus on an imaginary ‘ideal’ parent.
Additional Sources of Information Split the group into small working groups and split http://www.familylives.org.uk/advice/your- up participants from their comfort zones if you feel family/parenting/where-can-young-parents- they will work better. Give each group a flipchart go-for-support/ sheet and pens. http://www.healthscotland.com/uploads/doc uments/22410-YPSGlo-res.pdf Now ask the groups to draw a person ‘The Ideal http://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/baby- Parent’ on the flipchart paper (you could connect buddy pieces of paper and have them draw round http://www.bubbalicious.co.uk/ someone to make a larger size). The group should write down all their qualities and attributes e.g. makes you laugh, caring, trustworthy – see Resources for a cheat sheet. Learners should avoid - 134 - capturing any physical appearances e.g. nice Remind them to think of what parents need to eyes, as this is not the purpose of the exercise. provide their children with, as we are trying to come up with a list of parental roles and Allow the groups sufficient time to finish their work responsibilities. The flipchart headings are in R14D then ask each group to hold up their drawing and and some prompts for learners in R14E. read out their skills, qualities and attributes. RESOURCES: Some ideas about the physical, mental and R14C: NEEDS TREE emotional skills and qualities, drawn from our pilot R14D: NEEDS TREE HEADINGS workshops, are in the resources section. R14E: NEEDS TREE IDEAS RESOURCE: R14B: IDEAL PARENT PROMPTS Any learners who did not already do session R6 and/or who are not familiar with Maslow’s work Discussion (10 mins): can first do the differentiation exercise below. How did the group find this exercise – was it easy or hard? Discussion (5 mins): How likely is it that every person who ever has How easy do you think it is to be a parent? a baby meets these ideals? When do you think you will be ready for What does it mean to be a ‘good enough’ parenthood? parent? (see Facilitator notes). Has your opinion changed now you have a better idea of what roles and responsibilities a parent has? Activity 2 (15 mins) Parental roles and responsibilities. This activity Differentiation: if learners are not familiar with relates to a similar exercise conducted in R6: Maslow, facilitators can first read the following Support for Parents and Infants (but learners can information or explain in their own words if they do either one independently). Facilitators can prefer. draw a ‘needs tree’ on a whiteboard to help learners visualise this work. Facilitator to draw a Needs Tree (See R14C in Explain to learners that the needs tree is based on resources) on the whiteboard to support the Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and we are going to explanation. look at it in relation to the roles and responsibilities of parents. Maslow was a theorist who looked at the basic needs of all humans. He believed that our needs Activity can be done individually or in small were in a hierarchy and we had to achieve each groups. Facilitator to write on A3/flipchart sheets stage before we could move onto the next. the main heading and 3 of the sub-headings. Maslow believed that we moved between stages For example: throughout our lives: starting with the basic physical needs like shelter, water and food then Physical needs moving onto safety needs, which are things like Air order, stability and freedom of fear. Then we
move on to love and belonging which is things like Food friendship and affection. The next stage is self-
esteem (for example self-respect, respect from Warmth others, and independence).
Ask learners in their groups or individually to go The last stage is self-actualization this is things like round to each sheet and add words under the sub- seeking personal growth. Self-actualization is headings. This can be done against the clock to where we are at our best, when we have achieved create some energy in the room. everything we wanted to: our dream job, a family,
a nice house etc. - 135 -
Housing Maslow believed that even when we reached our Judgement and stigma of others full potential we still needed to keep our basic Mental strain of having a baby needs met to be the best we can be. So if we lost our house we would have to go back to the It is important to note that there are also positive physical needs to achieve shelter, or if we lost our changes that can happen for young people when best friend we may have to go back to love and they become parents. These can be discussed belonging to achieve friendship again alongside other changes and additional areas of change can be added to the worksheet. This should Differentiation: if appropriate, the explanation of be done with sensitivity to the different Maslow’s hierarchy of needs can be researched experiences and circumstances of young people. and then presented back to the group by the learners themselves. Individuals, or small groups, RESOURCE: can each be allocated one of the ‘needs’ and can R14E: CHANGING LIVES. take some time to research what it means before regrouping to explain each one. This activity Learners can take away and complete the should be done prior to the Parental Roles and changing lives worksheet. They can do this by Responsibilities exercise. asking peers who are parents, asking their own parents, or using the internet to research the answers. Encourage learners to come up with any Additional Activity other categories they can think of. Changing lives. Learners will explore how having a baby would change their lives. This activity can be started in the session and completed at home, Conclusion (5 mins) or can be given as a take away exercise. What did you learn today? Ask learners to complete an Evaluation Body on their way out. Young people may not have considered the full implications of having a baby, and the idea of this RESOURCE: exercise is to get them looking at the many APPENDIX 1: EVALUATION BODY different aspects of their lives that would change, would they become a parent.
The categories of change are in resources R14E and can be printed out for the learner or put up on the whiteboard for them to copy in their own workbooks.
Impact of parenthood – categories: Financial impact Education Career and job prospects Friendships Partner Social Life Freedom Personal time Hobbies/activities Sleep Body and health Home life
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Facilitator Notes
Good enough parenting group. This session should encourage young people It is important in this session and indeed all the to understand that pregnancy and parenthood PREP activities to reinforce the idea of ‘good should be a considered decision and not something enough’ parenting. It is impossible for any parent that should be entered into easily. (or person) to be perfect. Most parents try to provide the best for their children, and often feel Needs tree guilty when they are not able to do so. For young See Facilitator Notes in R6 for more detailed parents, there is already plenty of stigma to cope information on Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs (on with, without feeling judged or like they aren’t up which this exercise is based). to the job. If learners are struggling to think of ideas for the Everyone has different parenting styles and there sub-headings within the context of parental roles is not a wrong or right way to be a parent. There and responsibilities, facilitators can prompt them is a wide range of parenting practices that may as they go round the room. be ‘different’ but still constitute safe and acceptable care for children. This can include: This exercise could also be used to explore the Meeting children’s health and development needs of the young people within the group in a needs different session. Putting children’s needs first Providing routine and consistent care Changing Lives This activity is to encourage young people to think Acknowledgement of any problems and more about the changes that can occur after engagement with support services becoming pregnant and having a baby.
We also know that some parenting practices can It is not intended to ‘scare’ young people about put babies or children at risk including: pregnancy or parenthood, but instead to Neglecting basic needs encourage deeper thought about parenthood as Putting adults’ needs first decision that requires careful consideration. This is Chaos an opportunity for young people to discuss their Lack of routine perceptions of how becoming a parent might Unwillingness to engage with support services change their life and to ask questions that arise when needed about the choice of whether or when to become a parent. It is important to note in discussions with young people that parenting practices exist along a broad continuum and are impacted by different communities and cultures. Parents may fall at different ends of the continuum for specific parenting skills (for example setting boundaries), but this does not mean either is wrong.
Parental Roles and Responsibilities The activities in this session are intended to help young people understand more about the lifelong commitment of having a baby. Discussions about whether or when young people might choose to become parents may or may not be appropriate depending on the stage and circumstance of the - 137 -
R14A: It’s Not Just a Pram Agree / disagree exercise – read out the statements and ask learners to go to the agree or disagree side of the room (or somewhere in between if they are not sure). Learners can then have the chance to express their feelings about the statement and why they are in agreement or not.
Do all single parents live on benefits? No, it all depends on the individual’s circumstances.
Could you be in full time education if you were a single parent? Yes, if you can find appropriate child care. You may need a bursary.
Do you automatically get a council house when you have a child? No, you will be on the list and be housed according to need.
Does the mother have full parental responsibilities of the child? No, it’s 50:50 if the father’s name is on the birth certificate.
Is it only women who get post-natal depression? No, between 10 and 15% of women get post-natal depression, and it is estimated that 10% of men suffer too.
If two 15 year olds have a baby together, can they get prosecuted? Yes, technically they can be prosecuted if one of their parents decides to charge the partner.
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R14B: Ideal parent ideas These prompts have been drawn from our pilots with young people in Scotland, and can be used if learners are struggling to come up with ideas about the skills, qualities and attributes of a good parent/carer.
Physical: Mental: Emotional:
Being active Encouraging Protective Protective Grown up Stable Stable home Sociable Loving Huggable Stimulate them mentally Support their child Human touch Always level headed Respectful Support their child Support their child Caring Attending their basic needs Positive Patient Feeds them Trusting On the same wave length Routine Open emotionally Plays Approachable Kind Water Connect Empathy Able to look after them Keep learning Hygiene Give to others Be mindful Confident Routine Resilient Discipline Friendship
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R14C: Needs tree
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R14D: Needs tree headings This should be written up on 5 individual flip charts put up on a wall, so that learners can circulate the room and add their thoughts to each sub-heading.
FLIPCHART 1: Physical Choose and write 3 of these: air, food, warmth, sleep, drink, shelter
FLIPCHART 2: Safety Choose and write 3 of these: security, stability, order, law, freedom of fear, protection from elements
FLIPCHART 3: Love and belonging Choose and write 3 of these: friendship, intimacy, affection and love
FLIPCHART 4: Self-esteem Choose and write 3 of these: achievement, self-respect, independence, status, respect from others
FLIPCHART 5: Self actualization Choose and write 3 of these: realising personal potential, self-fulfilment, seeking personal growth
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R14E: Needs tree prompts These ideas have been gathered from pilot activities conducted with young people in Scotland, so may be useful to prompt learners if they are struggling to come up with words for the sub-headings in R14D.
Shelter Love and affection Independence warm house feeling loved they let you go out bed give hugs activities roof having someone to share your freedom sense of security problems with think for yourself doing things for yourself able to have a laugh Security Freedom of fear Realising personal potential feels safe protect you encourage you in your skills and police make you feel safe strengths CCTV safe place making me try new things adult to talk to teach how to keep safe believe in yourself secure but free not being scared help identifying strengths able to tell problems to teaching you skills got your back Self-Respect Friendship Seeking personal growth believe in yourself allows you to be friends with supportive never give up who you choose caring will cheer you up and give you acts more like friends encouraging your own freedom got your back accepting respect others before you both ways trust encouragement respect yourself helpful never give up Sleep Stability Air bed food space blanket – 13 hours a day money fresh air quiet room water thinking space warmth shelter breathe roof, shelter someone to talk to: trust partly oxygen electric blanket good food energy
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R14F: Changing lives Some ideas about the areas of life that change with parenthood are listed below, these will be helpful for any learners who do not have direct experience of parenthood. They should be encouraged to look into these and come up with any other ideas they have. Complete the following worksheet to identify the impact of parenthood Area of life that changes…. How having a baby will impact this area…
Finances/money
Education
Career and job prospects
Friendships
Partner
Social Life
Freedom
Personal time
Hobbies/activities
Sleep
Body and health
Home life
Housing
Judgement/stigma of others
Mental strain of having a baby
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Appendix 1: Evaluation Body
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Appendix 2: Exit Ticket
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Appendix 3: Participant Evaluation Form
We would like to know more about the people who participated in these sessions and what they think. It would really help if you would fill this in – please circle your answers or write them in the space.
Are you: Male or Female How old are you? Are you a parent? Yes or No
Thinking about the session you took part in please circle the number that matches how you feel in the statements below:
Neither Strongly Agree Strongly Disagree Agree Disagree not Agree Disagree
I enjoyed today’s session 1 2 3 4 5
I thought today’s session was 1 2 3 4 5 interesting I learned something new in 1 2 3 4 5 today’s session After today’s session: I think I know more about 1 2 3 4 5 being a parent My opinion about parenthood 1 2 3 4 5 has changed Why?
Thank you!
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Appendix 4: Reflective Practice Sheet Reflective learning is an important component of any teaching practice. We encourage practitioners to use the form below to reflect on their own practice after each session. Reflective practice sheet Session title: Session leader:
Date/Week: Time: Group:
1. What went well in the session today?
2. What would you like to improve?
3. Identify any questions that arose which you were unable to answer, or any further support you require?
4. Identify any areas for further development of this session (e.g. timings, assessing learning, amendments to content/resources, anything missed, external inputs required, further training)
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Respect
Relationships
Resilience
Responsibility
4