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Home , Chick Hearn, Western Conference (NBA)

Page 8 May 28, 2009 EL SEGUNDO HERALD Penguin from page 3 Pesky Nuggets Taking the card companies use when getting us to off consumers, the Senate bill would also sign off on another rate increase. regulate retail gift cards, like the ones you Did you know that, according to published might receive for Marie Callender’s. No longer Lakers to the Limit “Magic” Johnson. You know the guy, right? reports, the card companies collect in excess can the bandits charge an excessive hidden By Duane Plank Worried, Laker fans? Did the “good Lak- All over the tube as a pitchman, trying to of $15 billion in penalty fees each year? fee if the gift card isn’t used up quickly. My ers” show up Wednesday night and take a peddle rental furniture, a tax refund anticipa- Talk about money for nothing! But the wife had received a $75 gift card to be used 3-2 lead in the Western Conference finals? tion service and some Indian casino. Think chicks aren’t free. at the Callender’s chain, which she didn’t Or were the “bad Lakers” roaming the floor Mr. Johnson needs the cash? Sorry about that last line. Had to refer- use in a timely manner. So the $75 card at Staples, missing shots, avoiding rebounds, Anyway, before becoming a TV pitchman, ence a Dire Straits’ song... Predictably, the was worth a measly $25 by the time we got letting the Nuggets grab the series lead? Johnson had a pretty solid career in the NBA, credit card lobbyists were predicting the end around to using it. Legal robbery, I call it. Game Six is Friday night at 6. I trust you fronting a fantastic Laker team that came to of the world, blathering on that “those who And in conclusion, Fancy Nancy Pelosi will find a spot in front of the TV? be known as “.” Johnson, who will manage their credit well will be subsidizing seems to have had a prior career as a defensive Alrightee then, with Lakermania running turn 50 in August, joined the Lakers in the those who don’t,” and threatening to limit back in some type of football league, what rampant in town, as it usually does during summer of 1979, and led the team to the programs like those that let the customer with all the back-pedaling that she has been the NBA , when hoop “fans” who league championship in the ‘79-80 campaign. accumulate “air miles.” doing over the “waterboarding” flap. What couldn’t tell you the difference between a The guy could do it all on the court, which Gotta say that I could care less about air did the tarnished Speaker of the House know pick-and-roll and a dinner roll become ex- was showcased by his 42-point, 15-rebound, miles. Keep my interest rates low--don’t and when did she know it? And how many perts, I decided to ask a few folks who they seven-assist, three steals effort in Game Six cheat me if I am tardy on a payment, or different stories can the Congresswoman thought the best-ever Laker guard was/is. of the ‘80 finals against the Philadelphia have to pay by phone. from our Great Bankrupt State conjure up Narrowed it down to the Big Three: Jerry 76ers. Johnson, a 6-foot-9 point guard, had As an added benefit to us normally ripped to cover her a**?• West, whose silhouette is utilized by the league to play center in the contest because of an as its logo; TV pitchman ; injury to Laker superstar Kareem Abdul- and current icon and scowler . Jabbar. For his efforts, the 20-year-old with Are you old enough to remember the the million-dollar smile was awarded the exploits of West, dubbed “Mr. ” by MVP of the finals, the first time a rookie the iconic ? The guy was voted was so honored. to the All-NBA first team in 10 of the 14 Johnson led the “Showtime” Lakers to years (1960-74) that he played for the Purple a total of five NBA titles, but was forced and Gold. Led the Lakers to the NBA finals to abruptly retire in 1991 when it was an- nine times. Inducted into the NBA Hall of nounced that Johnson was afflicted with Fame in 1980. Averaged 30 or more points HIV. He made a couple of “unretirements,” four times in the regular season. Playoff finally retiring in 1996. average: 29.1 Averaged more than 30 points Magic’s statistical accomplishments in- per game seven times, including 40.6 in the clude: Three NBA MVP awards, nine NBA ‘65 playoffs. Made multiple appearances on Finals appearances, and 12 All-Star game the All-Defensive first team. appearances. He averaged more than 11 And West, who will turn 71 today, accom- assists per game during the regular season, plished all of this when the NBA actually and 12-plus assists in the playoffs. Add to had a semblance of rules that they enforced. that the 19-plus points per game that he Next time you see Lebron or Kobe or any of averaged, both in the regular season and these other current studs take about four steps the playoffs. before jamming down a slam, remember that But it wasn’t the points that Johnson scored back in the day that was called “traveling.” that defined the Hall of Famer. It was the West also made arguably the greatest shot points his teammates scored. Johnson made in NBA playoff history, nailing a 60-foot every player on the floor a better player. He toss at the buzzer in Game 3 of the 1970 was a passer first, a scorer when need be. Championship series. The shot, which was And yes, Johnson took advantage of the launched, sadly for Laker fans, many years lax enforcement of the NBA rules, palming before the advent of the three-point shot, was the ball continuously as he “hippity-hopped” good for a deuce, evening the game at 102, (thanks, Chick Hearn) the dribble into the forcing overtime. Alas, as was the Lakers front court, burst down the lane, took the way back in the day, the Purple and Gold allowed three steps before dishing the ball couldn’t capitalize on West’s incredible shot to teammate for an easy lay-up. Or bellowed and lost the game in overtime, later to lose loud enough that the refs whistled a defender the series to the . for a phantom foul even though Johnson “The Logo” recently made news when wasn’t touched. it was revealed that the West Virginian has Kobe Bryant rounds out our troika of suffered from a medical condition--atrial Laker guards. Not much to add here about fibrillation--that causes a disturbance in the the current Laker superstar, other than the rhythm of his heartbeat. West also stirred fact that 30-year-old icon has carried the the pot a little when asked about current Lakers for the past few years, ever since superstars LeBron James and Bryant. “The Big Fatty” pouted and was sent pack- Said West, the Laker general manager who ing to . drafted Bryant: “James is just too big, too Bryant is a scoring machine and obviously strong, and too quick. And he has incredible wants the ball in crucial situations. He has body control. But more than that, he’s a averaged 25 points in the regular season in great teammate. You can see his teammates his 13 seasons in L.A., and 24-plus in the love him.” playoffs. And he is the only reason that the So who would the greatest clutch shooter Lakers have been able to stay in the current of his era want to hand the ball to with the playoff series with the pesky Nuggets. game on the line? “If I had to have someone And the winner is... in a landslide, Magic make a last-second shot, it would be Kobe Johnson. Okay, the folks who I asked were Bryant,” said West. “But even though it is not your typical Laker fans. They had to hard for me to be objective because I brought have a clue about Laker history, a touch Kobe to , I do think LeBron has of gray in their hair, and remember the surpassed Kobe as a player.” Fabulous Forum. And they all said basically Sorry, young Laker honks. the same thing: “Magic made everyone a Contestant number two in our little “best better player.” Laker guard” competition is one Earvin So there you go, Laker fans.•

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