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alibi VOLUME 26 | ISSUE 25 | JUNE 22-28, 2017 | FREE | 2017 22-28, JUNE 25 | ISSUE | 26 VOLUME WRITING CONTEST WINNERS PG.12 NEW CITY FREE WILL GRASSHOPPER CHEF HEATHER TROST BUDGET APPROVED (SHAKESPEARE) IS #PIZZABAE ON AGISTRI PAGE: 7 PAGE: 14 PAGE: 24 WRITERSAURUS REX SINCE 1992 SINCE REX WRITERSAURUS PAGE: 17 [2] WEEKLY ALIBI JUNE 22-28, 2017 JUNE 22-28, 2017 WEEKLY ALIBI [3] [4] WEEKLY ALIBI JUNE 22-28, 2017 alibi VOLUME 26 | ISSUE 25 | JUNE 22-28, 2017 EDITORIAL MANAGING EDITOR/COPY EDITOR: Renee Chavez (ext. 255) [email protected] FILM EDITOR: Devin D. O’Leary (ext. 230) [email protected] MUSIC EDITOR/NEWS EDITOR: August March (ext. 245) [email protected] ARTS/LIT EDITOR: Maggie Grimason (ext. 239) [email protected] CALENDARS EDITOR: Megan Reneau (ext. 260) [email protected] STAFF WRITER: Joshua Lee (ext. 243) [email protected] SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR: Samantha Carrillo (ext. 223) [email protected] INTERN: Adam Wood [email protected] CONTRIBUTING WRITERS: Cecil Adams, Gustavo Arellano, Robin Babb, Rob Brezsny, Carolyn Carlson, Doug Cohen, Desmond Fox, Taylor Grabowsky, Kristi D. Lawrence, Sara MacNeil, Hosho McCreesh, Geoffrey Plant, Mikee Riggs PRODUCTION EDITORIAL DESIGNER: Valerie Serna (ext.254) [email protected] GRAPHIC DESIGNER: Jesse Philips (ext.240) [email protected] STAFF PHOTOGRAPHER: Eric Williams [email protected] CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS: Max Cannon, Michael Ellis, Jodie Herrera, KAZ, Ryan North, Jen Sorensen SALES SALES DIRECTOR: Tierna Unruh-Enos (ext. 248) [email protected] ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES: Kittie Blackwell (ext. 224) [email protected] Sally Jackson (ext. 264) [email protected] Samuel Kerwin (ext. 265) [email protected] Ashli Mayo (ext. 241) [email protected] John Hankinson (ext. 235) [email protected] Shane Boyd (ext. 223) [email protected] STREET TEAM: Alexis Al Omari, Paulina Gomez-Legarreta: [email protected] ADMINISTRATION CONTROLLER : Courtney Foster (ext. 257) [email protected] INTERN: Caroline Carpenter EDITOR AND INTERIM PUBLISHER: Jesse Schulz (ext. 229) [email protected] SYSTEMS MANAGER: Kyle Silfer (ext. 242) [email protected] WEB MONKEY: John Millington (ext. 238) [email protected] OWNERS, PUBLISHERS EMERITI: Christopher Johnson, Daniel Scott and Carl Petersen CIRCULATION CIRCULATION MANAGER: Geoffrey Plant (ext. 252) [email protected] INFORMATION PRINTER: The Santa Fe New Mexican IN LOVING MEMORY: Doug Albin, Martin Candelaria, Michael Henningsen, Gretchen Hudson, Eric Johnson, Greg Medara, Mina Yamashita INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER: Southwest Cyberport (232-7992) [email protected] NATIONAL ADVERTISING: VMG Advertising (888) 278-9866 www.vmgadvertising.com NUCITY PUBLICATIONS, INC. 413 Central NW, Albuquerque, New Mexico 87102 BUSINESS HOURS: 10AM–5PM MON–FRI PHONE: (505) 346-0660 FAX: (505) 256-9651 Alibi (ISSN 1088-0496) is published weekly 52 times per year. The content of this issue is Copyright © 2017 by NuCity Publications, Inc., and may not be reprinted in part or in whole without written consent of the publisher. All rights are reserved. One copy of each edition of Alibi is available free to county residents and visitors each week. Anyone caught removing papers in bulk will be prosecuted on theft charges to the fullest extent of the law. Yearly subscription $100, back issues are $3, Best of Burque is $5. Queries and manuscripts should include a self-addressed stamped envelope; Alibi assumes no responsibility for unsolicited material. Association of Alternative Newsmedia JUNE 22-28, 2017 WEEKLY ALIBI [5] they were responding to a burglary call, but stumbled across a drug lab producing candy ODDS treats filled with methamphetamine instead. Outside a home in Harris County, police found a vehicle stuffed with so much meth- ENDS based candy, it was difficult to close the trunk. AND According to the Washington Post, police suspected the thieves were stealing from a WEIRD NEWS suspected drug dealer who had turned her home into a meth lab. Once inside the home, Dateline: Germany authorities found 600 pounds of meth candy. A Polish tennis pro was penalized for yelling The sheriff’s office estimated the drugged-up the word “hamburger” during a match in candy sold on the street for $20 to $40 apiece. Stuttgart earlier this month. According to The meth-pops were shaped into popular Tennis World magazine, No. 155 ranked player characters, including Yoda and R2-D2 from Jerzy Janowicz was competing in a first round Star Wars, and Batman, as well as butterflies match against Russian Andrey Kuznetzov at and flowers. There were “just bags and bags the Suttgart Open on June 13 when he and bags of what appeared to be candy allegedly read aloud part of a sign at the back lollipops,” Lt. Ruben Diaz told the Houston of the court which included the word Chronicle. Authorities are charging 38-year- “hamburger.” The umpire jumped in at that old Evonne Mick and 26-year-old David moment and gave Janowicz a point penalty Salinas with possession of a controlled due to an “audible obscenity.” The Polish substance. The owner of he house—and the player spent several minutes complaining to evil Willy Wonka behind the manufacturing the tournament supervisor, but the call was operation—has not been identified in police not reversed. Janowicz went on to win the reports. match 6-4, 3-6, 6-3. Dateline: New York Dateline: Mexico An actor whose credits include “Star Trek” A farmer in the Oaxacan town of San Lucas and “Seinfeld” is running for office in New Ojitlan died after getting into an “aggressive York’s 23rd congressional district—but he’s fight” with a pet pig that ended up biting his doing it as humorist Mark Twain. John penis off. Mexico’s El Debate de Culiacán Hertzler, who played a Klingon chancellor on newspaper reports 60-year-old Miguel Anaya several episodes of “Star Trek: Deep Space Pablo is believed to have started the fight Nine” announced earlier this month in a with the animal, who lived with him, after Facebook post that he’ll be running for the coming home drunk from a party. Pablo seat held by Republican Rep. Tom Reed. But provoked the pig by “jumping up and down he’s doing it with a “twist,” saying he’ll be and knocking him over.” The pig allegedly bit “running in the persona of Mark Twain.” off the man’s manhood as well as three fingers Hertzler says he disagrees with “everything and left him lying in a pool of blood on the Reed supports, including his unrelenting floor. Neighbors later found Pablo and called support of the Trumpster.” Hertzler clarified an ambulance. The farmer was rushed to a that he “will be making appearances nearby hospital in Tuxtepec, but died when throughout the district of 11 counties, his pig bites became infected. sometimes in my birth persona as JG Hertzler and at other times I will endeavor to present Dateline: Texas my ideas and policies through the brilliant Authorities outside of Houston seized nearly humorist for all ages, Citizen Twain.” a $1 million worth of meth-infused lollipops shaped like Yoda (and other characters). Compiled by Devin D. O’Leary. Email your weird Sheriff’s deputies in Harris County thought news to [email protected]. [6] WEEKLY ALIBI JUNE 22-28, 2017 NEWS | COUNCIL WATCH NEWS CITY BY JOSHUA LEE New Budget, More Business Council meets ahead of summer break BY CAROLYN CARLSON lipping through a loaded agenda, Albuquerque City Council tidied up some Waste Drum Mislabeled by N.M. Lab Cof Burque’s business before the July summer break. Councilors take the month of July off Los Alamos National Laboratory failed to and return to the governing table on Aug. 7. accurately label drums of liquid waste shipped to a disposal center in Colorado multiple times, according to an email sent to the New Mexico Ballot Hot Potato Environment Department. Policy dictates that waste sent to Veolia ES Technical Solutions for Councilor Klarissa Peña tacked an disposal must be thoroughly screened and properly amendment on to a resolution, which was documented—identifying the types and amounts of approved and authorizes the Oct. 3 municipal chemicals, pH levels, potential for combustion and whether any radiological material is included. In election. Her amendment allows the Healthy May, operators in Colorado examined a drum Workforce Initiative to be on the ballot and shipped from Los Alamos and determined the pH ERIC WILLIAMS PHOTOGRAPHY provides for a separate handout with both a Councilors Lewis, Jones and Benton discuss city business level was significantly lower than the label summary and the full text for each voter, indicated. A lower pH level meant the material was $1 per visit resident increase. These new meeting to appear on the Oct. 3 municipal more acidic than Los Alamos had recorded, printed large enough so folks do not have to meaning it was more volatile than expected. use a magnifier. The Healthy Workforce admission prices should generate an estimated ballot. The proposal asked for an extra 2 cents According to federal and state reports, the lab has Ordinance would require city businesses to $644,000 a year that will go into the zoo’s per gallon from motorists filling up within the consistently violated requirements to accurately document the contents of hazardous waste drums. allow all of their full-time, part-time and coffers. city limits. This proposed tax was estimated to It will now cost $100 bucks for folks to Veolia has been unable to release any details about temporary employees to accrue paid sick leave. generate about $4.8 million in new monies for this or previous errors due to a confidentiality and Those opposing this proposed law say it will apply for a temporary certificate of occupancy roadway improvements and other nondisclosure agreement between the company hurt businesses in the Duke City.