Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] Planes Planes are the universes of the Magic Multiverse. Blah blah, mana, blah blah, ptolemaic model,, roll 1d8 1d12.

1) Generic fantasy hub/center of the multiverse… until two dickweeds detonated a [cards are from the block] magical nuke, plunging the plane into a magical nuclear winter. But to complete this Mad Max Package, you’re still going to need…

Free Drawback: Mad Max/Minnie: whatever you need to survive, you’re going to have a hard time finding it.

2) ...Australia. Replace the wildlife with Lovecraftian horrors and the ground with a [cards are from the Zendikar and Battle for magical storm/mental illness called the Roil, Zendikar blocks] and you end up with a safer version of Austrailia.

Free Drawback: The Eldrazi Hunter: Emrakul, Ulamog, and Kozilek(imagine the Outer Gods, but even less stoppable) are in the mood for shrimp on the barby. And everything’s a shrimp.

3) Planet Transylvania. It’s been in the middle of a vampire apocalypse, but thankfully, the [cards are from the Innistrad block] angel Avacyn is keeping the dark forces in check.

Free Drawback: Fright Night: Round 2: The angel Avacyn and the demon Griselbrand are playing a game of planar chess, with you as a pawn. And before you start going Rambo, Avacyn is indestructible and Griselbrand has Lifelink. You’ll know what that is later

4) Metal plane. Metal trees, Quicksilver(but not mercury) seas, and 5 suns that regulate the [cards are from the Scars of Mirrodin block] plane with their mana. And the remains of a war against the Phyrexians(think cyber-Nazis with a body horror element). The people have metal growths instead of body hair. Pack a lunch. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected]

Free Drawback: Jose’s Landscaping Service: Razorgrass in your bed, in your food, under your shirt. Dammit, Jose!

5)Shandalar The new generic fantasy hub. More mana than its denizens know what to do with. [cards are from the Magic 2015 core set] Free Drawback: Too Much Mana: Due to the abundance of mana, your spells have an 50% chance of shorting out fro the mana surge. Painfully. Pack some spare limbs.

6) Planet Japan. Shinto-inspired spirits and [cards are from the Kamigawa block] mortals are getting along now.

Free Drawback: Turning Japanese: The denizens of Kamigawa take honor as seriously as a fanfiction writer takes canon on opposite day. And you represent Jump- Chan.

7) Planet Greco-Rome. Enchantments are not only cast, but also forged and born. With [cards are from the Theros block] enough devotion, the gods themselves may fight by your side Free Drawback: One Does Not Simply Planeswalk out of Theros: You die, you get sent to underworld, forge a gold mask, and have your self(no, that’s not a typo) erased. You resist, you get poked with a weapon specifically designed to wipe overpowered beings from existence. In effect, the choice to stay is made for you.

8) * Planet New York, except for ten guilds that are functional parodies of the colors they [cards are from the Return to Ravnica block] represent. Free Drawback: The Explicit Maze: Each guild has a figurative dog in the literal race to stop the Supreme Verdict(which will destroy everyone) from going off. That race takes place in a maze… and that maze is an asshole!

9) Tarkir* Planet China, which explains the western- [cards are from the Khans block] style dragons. Free Drawback: 1984: You have a symbol of what would have been your clan tattooed somewhere on you. Be sure the Dragonlords Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected]

don’t see it.

10) Nicol Bolas’s Meditation Realm Roll 1d6. One a 1, you get dissolved into mana quicker than you can say “land, go”. This would be the part where you get sent home if there were anything left to send home. Don’t worry, the stuff you’ll no longer be needing is fully intact, including the key/portal to your… ware… house… … … I guess now’s a bad time to tell you Nicol Bolas is a planeswalker, and not just because you no longer exist either…

Oh, you didn’t roll a 1? In that case, you make it out of a magic condo with a bag of S- grade weed that was just laying there on the table at the time, along with a free pick

11) Alara* One plane that split into five, and later [cards are from the Shards of Alara block] rejoined in an explosion of mana called the Conflux. Unfortunately, a dragon named Nicol Bolas already used it to achieve his current godlike state. Free Drawback: Odd Job: Nicol Bolas, future conqueror of the Magicverse, has some jobs for you. Whatever you can imagine(especially in the realm of getting out of your contract), he’s been there, done that, got the whole three-piece suit.

12) Blind Eternities You have five minutes until you are completely dissolved into the Aether and it’s miles to the nearest plane! Get busy swimmin’ or get busy dyin’. Also, free pick *These planes have factions you may be eligible to start off in. Until the official supplement is up, use common sense and http://mtgsalvation.gamepedia.com. **When I said free, I meant mandatory Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] Color There are five colors of magic, which both describe the caster and their spells. You can draw mana of your color(s) from the land around you. You start as the color that most represents you. Now who exact is this WUBRG fellow?

● White ○ The color of goodness, unity, and justice at best, and suppression, tyranny, and “justice” at worst. White (more like desert sand mica) specializes in exiling things to the Aether and mustering small creatures into great forces. ○ You best draw mana from the rolling plains, especially in the daytime. ○ Mother Teresa and Adolf Hitler would be white.

● blUe ○ The color of reason, knowledge, and enlightenment at best, and cold- heartedness, apathy, and unethicality at worst. Blue specializes in the elements of air and water, as well as the mind. ○ You best draw mana from the cool, wet islands and the sea around them. ○ Isaac Newton and Unit 731 would be blue

● Black ○ The color of ambition at best, and outright douchebaggery at worst. Black specializes in death, assholes, and more death, except for this one con artist... ○ You best draw mana from swamps and the decay beneath them. ○ Isaac Newton and Unit 731 would be blue

● Red ○ The color of emotion, freedom, and individuality at best, and anger, hedonism, and recklessness at worst. Red specializes in the elements of earth and fire, as well as hitting stuff in the face… and feels ○ You best draw mana from solid mountains. ○ William Wallace and Davy Crockett would be red. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] ● Green ○ The color of nature, balance, and zen at best, and savagery, luddism, and ignorance at worst. Green specializes in the forces of nature, the circle of life, and the land… and hitting stuff in the face ○ You best draw mana from verdant forests. ○ Buddha would be green.

● Notes ○ You can draw mana from any source, but when drawn from sources outside of your color(s), it is colorless mana, which is both versatile and useless. ○ Most magic accords to a color, hence magic outside of your color(s) is simply inaccessible. Backgrounds Listing specific creature types and classes would require two novel- length supplements… each... so here’s something a bit more accessible. FYI, morphing time is on hold for now, so no alt forms. Oh, and here’s your thousand-choice-point budget. Also, factions have colors other than your own, which you may unlock in time.

● Drop-In(Rated Free for Everyone) ○ Choose one of your forms and get comfy with it: you’ll be stuck in that form(the Shapeshifter creature type notwithstanding) for the jump’’s duration ○ Other than that, you know the drill. ○ Magic: the Abridging(+0 CP): Enjoy that normal day while it lasts, because starting the midnight after you enter, the fourth wall is good as demolished, lampshades are a matter of legal mandate, and everybody and their mother will be increasingly out of character. ○ The Movie(+100 CP): Wizards of the Cost will bring the people of your homeworld the best licensed clusterfuck since Disney Infinity, scheduled to release the summer after you get your spark. Hideo Kojima and Guillermo Del Toro are the lead writers, while Michael Bay and JJ Abrams are in charge of effects. Oh, and it’ll be co-directed by Peter Jackson and Uwe Boll. Scene 1. Take 1. Action!

Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] ● Character(100) ○ The little guys that represent their respective color day-to-day. They start off as 1/1s( about as strong and tough as an average human of your sex) WIthout further ado, your choices...

○ Soldier(requires white) ■ Your willingness to work with others is directly proportional to your apparent will to live. ■ You know a thing or two about group tactics, teamwork and all that jazz, but a mixed bag individually. ■ You can keep your base form’s creature types(human, vampire, gem, whatever), and get a free weapon and uniform to boot! ○ Merfolk(requires blue) ■ natural-born swimmer/diver, and not just ‘cause you’re a fish person. ■ Chances are you’ve hunted treasure as a kid, so naturally, you’re pretty good at it. ■ There’s no Atlantis here, sorry :( ○ Zombie(requires black) ■ Healing can repair the body, but your life process are shot for the time being. ■ At least you can keep on going long after the mightiest angel quit. ■ When’s the last time somebody expect a zombie assassin? or zombie wizard? Maybe even zombie artificer? ■ No, wait, Vampire!(100) Nevermind, then. You’re a vampire now, prone to bloodlust, heliophobia, a borderline racist aversion to italian food, and random sexual escapades. ■ Strong as a bear ○ Goblin(requires red) ■ They could build Atlantis in a week if they weren’t so damn hyperactive... ■ and just as expendable ■ Gotta respect their energy, though ○ Elf(requires green) ■ You can squeeze mana out of the abundance of life force, especially in richer environments ■ Now if only you knew how to use it... ■ You could ask that ravenous beast over there. No really, you can talk to animals now

○ Supah Troopahz(+0) All your teammates’ are only as competent as the immediate threat (including from you) is urgent, leaving the enemy(who isn’t you) with nothing better to do than study, practice, and train. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] ○ We Card(+100) Good news: You get immortalized in a card in the next set. Bad news: You have to get nerfed to hell and back so that said card doesn’t warp the game.

● Icon(400) ○ The colors taken to their logical conclusion. They typically start off as 4/4s(being able to bench press a loaded stage coach or take down two bears) ○ Angel(requires white) ■ You are a literal manifestation of white mana(and are thus literally holier- than-thou), dovewings and all. Zendikar angels get an angelic halo to cover their eyes with and incurable self-esteem issues for free. You get Lifelink for free. ■ If you’re a guy, not anymore. ■ As long as you’re in angel form, you can join any good-aligned that’s looking for help. ■ You are pathologically altruistic ■ You get a lifetime supply of Angel’s Handbook in the format of choice(hardcover, paperback, .docx, PDF, Holocron, skill chip, you name it, we’ve got it) ○ Sphinx(requires blue) ■ Imagine Garfield, but with working wings, blue fur, 10x the IQ and 20x the snark. You get Scry for free. ■ You know your way around mortal and semimortal minds in general, and can do telepathy ■ Your snark is so powerful, reality’s ability to take you seriously constantly diminishes constantly without acts of unironic kindness. ■ Your hazardous snark is partially justified by your uncanny wisdom ■ You get a lifetime supply of Defense Against Political Correctness in the format of choice(hardcover, paperback, .docx, PDF, Holocron, skill chip, you name it, we’ve got it) ○ Demon(requires black) ■ A literal manifestation of black mana. You get Deathtouch for free. ■ Your apparent sex is purely aesthetic ■ As long as you’re in demon form, your independent Faust & Co. franchise is open for business ■ You are pathologically evil ■ You get a copy of Demonhood for Dumb Shits in the format of choice(hardcover, paperback, .docx, PDF, Holocron, skill chip, you name it, we’ve got it) ○ Dragon(requires red) ■ What? Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] ■ … ■ You’re a red, angry, fire-breathing DRAGON! With WINGS! What is there to explain? ■ You’re terminally grumpy, but at least you get Firebreathing for free. ○ Hydra(requires green) ■ That’s right, you become a hydra. ■ Ironically, hydras here grow extra heads in just about every way imaginable except decapitation by heroes. Pick a method that works for you, but keep it reasonable. ■ You’re so big, mean, and green, that you get Regeneration for free ■ Not much else to it ○ I am Reptar, Hear me Roar!(+0): You brag and put on shows so often, Hercule’’s telling you to shut up! ○ Bitch Work(+100) You didn’t think you’d be able to roam around and do stuff, did you?

● Planeswalker(1600) ○ You rent a spare spark for this jump. Only works within the Magic multiverse.

Perks(Evergreen Keyword Abilities)

● 100 pts each ○ Vigilance(requires white; free white)- Some battles require to attack and defend, sometimes simultaneously. You can now switch between the two without tiring out, and train your forces to do the same. ○ Flying(locked off from green; free blue)- You can fly. Period. ○ Menace(requires black or red; free black)- You fight like a demon possessed! Anyone without backup will more likely than not do the smart thing and move out of the way about a parsec in advance. ○ Haste(required red; free red)- You go from zero to 60 in less than three seconds! Summoning sickness, hangovers, less-than-ideal-night's’ sleep, none of that will stop you! ○ Trample(requires green; free green)- Whatever would stop you, you can push it by simply by channeling some of your momentum into it. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] ● 400 pts each ○ First Strike(discount red/white)- If you’re white, you have an enhanced knowledge of diversion and exploitation, enabling you and your forces to better strike… first. Huh. If you’re red, can punch fasta ○ Scry(discount blue)- You can assess a situation well enough to plan out your next few moves right then and there. This skill can be trained to greater heights. ○ Regeneration(discount black/green)- You can tank DEATH ITSELF!!! However, since this is death we’re talking ○ Reach(Discount Green)- You can grab those pesky fliers out of the air. ○ Firebreathing(discount red)- You can pump red mana or any mystical energy within you through your system to become a [insert species here] flamethrower! Starts off only being red-hot, but can be upgraded in time. ○ Block Party- you can choose a single keyword from your starting plane’s appropriate block. If the keyword doesn’t have a fixed effect, make up your own, but keep it reasonable.

● 800 pts each. ○ Flash(Ah-aaahhh!)- At the cost of a little extra mana, you can fling a spell anytime, anywhere, instantly. No incantations, no funky powders, just a rain of as many spells as you have the energy to cast ○ Lifelink(discount white)- If you’re white, your righteous strikes grant you a divine pat on the back. If you’re black, you can drain the life from your victim. How much is healed this way depends on the severity of damage done to another being, but it’s on a 1:1 scale) ○ Double Strike(Discount red/white; requires First Strike)- Hit first, then hit again. And again If enough training, you can pull off the Hundred-Crack Fist of the North Star(or Gomu Gomu no Gatling if you’re flexible enough) ○ Deathtouch(discount black)- To hit is to kill(not destroy, there’s a difference). ○ Prowess- blasting noncreature spells gives you a temporary boost in physical... prowess. ○ Indestructible- Enjoy your complementary red motorcycle helmet and latex suit, ‘cause you’re THE MOTHAFUCKIN’ JUGGERNAUT, BITCH! By which, I mean you can tank any amount of damage to your person. Does not work against sacrifice or withering. ○ Hexproof- You opponent's’ spells and abilities miss you every time. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] Schwag *There are four rarities: common, uncommon, rare, and mythic rare: purchases start at common. Upgrade costs are not discounted. **Speaking of lands, Plains, Islands, Swamps, Mountains, and Forests are basic lands.

***Everything you purchase here except lands is a mana construct, so if it gets destroyed, simply conjure another, though this will take time.

**** Whenever you use someone or something’s energy, you “tap” it. From there, it will take a bit of time to recharge.

*****Discounts apply to the purchase of anything from the your starting plane’s block other than Diamond, Team Rock, or Mana Rock.

******“Returning something to its owner’s hand” sends it home,; exiling it sends it to the Blind Eternities. For any other effect; use common sense.

For best results, use magiccards.info and common sense

● Diamond(Rated Free for Everyone; only one)- this colored diamond of your primary color that fits in the palm of your hand takes a few minutes to initially charge, but after that, can be used to supply a small amount of mana in your starting color. ● Team Rock(0, but will cost you your diamond)- the same as a diamond, but generates mana of all your faction’s colors. You’ll have to earn those other colors, though. ○ Ravnica gets cluestones, small orbs that have a secret. ○ Tarkir gets building-sized monuments. You may choose to get banner with your new tattooed symbol on it instead, but I don’t think the Dragonlords would approve. ○ Alara gets giant obelisks. ● Mana Rock(100; 50 to upgrade)- any mana-generating artifact. ● Gear(100; 50 to upgrade)- any nonlegendary equipment or Aura-type enchantment. That equip cost is to put it in the hands of any friendly troop. Or yourself. ● Supplies (200: 100 to upgrade)- any nonlegendary, nonequipment, non-mana-rock artifact or non-aura enchantment. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] ● Shapeshifter(200)- You are now a shapeshifter in addition to your other types. You can temporarily disguise yourself as anyone or anything, abilities and all. ○ Morphing Time(100)- Looks like morphing time is back on. Cheers. ○ Form Purge(free)- You can “eject” your current form in a pinch, losing it in exchange for an instant trip to the nearest safe spot. ○ Changeling(200)- you are now every creature type. Not really good for anything except accounting, but hey, whatever floats your boat. ● Travel journal(300)- a book of everywhere on the plane you’ve been, allowing you to reconnect with those lands and hence draw mana from them. empties out every time you leave a plane or planet. Indestructible. Can summon anytime for free. ○ Pictures of Home(free)- You can always draw from any basic land for your color(s), as long as it’s in the same basic ares ○ Souvenir(50: 50 to upgrade)- You can add any nonlegendary, nonbasic land to your travel journal. ○ Commemorative Badge(300)- Add any legendary land to your travel journal ○ Planeswalker bonus: your spark unlocks the journal’s true form. As a planeswalker, you can connect to every land you’ve ever been to. ● Phyrexian Dynamo(300)- a wrist-mounted-device, about as bulky as brick. Allows you to convert life force to mana at a 2:1 scale. ● Stuff of Legends(500: no discount)- any legendary artifact or enchantment. ● Instant(50:50 to upgrade)- any instant. Can be cast instantly. ● Sorcery(50:50 to upgrade)- any sorcery. THese are generally more powerful, but take time to cast.

Companions

● Canon Fodder(100)- any in-plane nonlegendary creature that shares one of your colors, or is at least in your faction. ● Rain-in(200)- Bring up to 8 of your companions with you, with any background. Drop- ins and characters get 600 pts, icons get 300. They cannot join as planeswalkers ● Should I tell him?(400)- any in-plane legendary creature. Long as you’re not too much of a dick, they’ll have your back, especially if you have theirs. ● Heey, buuddy(600)- any canon planeswalker in their most recent incarnation, except for anyone dead(Elspeth, Urza), or not seen since the Mending(Nahiri, Bo Levar)

Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected] Drawbacks +600 points Max(the ones you took in the background section don’t count). These drawbacks are immutable

● I am Teferi, Dick of Zhalfir(+100)- Everyone can cast spells instantly… except you. Bring an umbrella. ● Time to du-du, du-du-- du-du-du-du-duel!(+100)- Who poured this Yugioh all over your Magic? Oh, right, you did. Enjoy the sight of Serra Angel riding Blue Eyes White Dragon, because the only things you’ll be encountering beside that will be a fight every five minutes! And yes, there will be rules. ● Mahou no maku(+200)- Every Time a spell is casts, it copies itself 200 times(though not necessarily with the same target in mind). Pack two umbrellas. ● Luddite(+200)- You forgot how to technology or ward and cannot relearn it. Artifice and enchantments are simply beyond your comprehension, no matter your intelligence ● War for Mana(+300)- Mana(or any other mystical energy, for that matter) The land can no longer replenish its mana. ● Hard mode(+300)- Everything from previous jumps is locked off. ● Hitlist(+600)- You’ve been on Nicol Bolas’s hitlist for a few years now. And knows what a “doombot” is. Whomever you kill, he’ll just send someone stronger, smarter, and/or more competent. Have fun. ● How Do I Magic or science?(+600)- you forget how to magic... or science... Or anything non mundane for that matter

Time’s Up So… Where do you want to go from there? Either way, all drawbacks are revoked.

● Home ○ I understand. Thank you for participating in Jumpchain. Let me know how that Magic movie turns out. Don’t worry, you don’t lose anything but the rented spark. ● A Beach Home ○ Pick a plane. You’ll find a nice house there and lose nothing but the rent-a-spark. Time in your home universe is unpaused and your affairs are settled. Have a nice life. ● First Star on the Left, Straight Off ‘til Morning ○ On to the next jump. Deszmond Touray September 2, 2015 Magic: the Gathering Jump Feedback: [email protected]

Ooorrr….

The Secret Ending(optional) ● If you choose “Home”, you are free to leave.. just as soon as you kill Nicol Bolas. He’s tried this “jumpchain” thing. In fact, his path seems strangely similar to yours… ● If you choose “A Beach Home”, you have to throw a party. Not just any party, but the ultimate party. One that’s so epic that Nicol Bolas will turn good, the Eldrazi will be too full on wings to ever need to eat again, and every problem is inexplicably solved. Pull that off, and the rent-a-spark is yours. ● If you choose “First Star on the Left, Straight off ‘til Morning”, your mission is to take out Nicol Bolas and his Doombot army, seal the Eldrazi(for real, this time), and convince to remove the hard level cap imposed on planeswalkerkind with the Mending. Do this, and you get a planar deed, in case you ever want to build a plane… once you get your planeswalker spark, that is.