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The Nature of Mid-Life Introspection with the Goal of Understanding the Fullness, Or Essence, of the Experience

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The Nature of Mid-Life Introspection with the Goal of Understanding the Fullness, Or Essence, of the Experience Copyright 2014, Lee DeRemer Abstract I explore the nature of mid-life introspection with the goal of understanding the fullness, or essence, of the experience. I use research from interviews with nine people who have had deeply personal, highly intentional mid-life introspection experiences. In these interviews I seek to appreciate the motivation of the individuals, the dynamics of the experience, the role of others, lessons learned, and the impact on interviewees’ approach to questions of meaning and purpose. I also interview the spouses of six of the participants to obtain additional perspective on each introspection experience. I employ a transcendental phenomenological methodology to discover whether any aspects of the mid-life introspection experience are common, regardless of differences in world view, background, gender, occupation, education level, or socioeconomic status. By learning the stories of each of these mid-life introspection experiences, I discover the nature of mid-life introspection and develop the following definition of mid-life introspection: a deeply personal quest for a fresh understanding of one’s identity, purpose, values, goals, and life direction, influenced but not necessarily constrained by one’s life history and present circumstances. This research will enable the reader to conclude, “I understand the nature of mid-life introspection and what to expect from a mid-life introspection experience.” The research also reveals a framework that depicts the mid-life introspection experience graphically and a collection of questions that can guide one’s own mid-life introspection. iii Dedication This paper is dedicated to three people. I am who I am because of them, and I am forever grateful. Bobby DeRemer was a loving, caring, giving, mother and model of sacrificial love. She spent her life helping others reach for their dreams. I wish to thank her through these words. Pastor Steve Cross helped me discover my identity as an adult. In the ensuing 21 years, he has been a listener, a spiritual guide, a mentor, and a friend. Marcie DeRemer has lived the story in these pages with me. She tolerated the relocations and the deployments. She gave so much to develop the character and minds of two wonderful people as a home-schooling mother for 12 years in six states. She told countless people with pride that she was a full-time mom and teacher. She has been a life partner with boundless grace and resilience. And Marcie never, ever wavered in her identity or her purpose. Today, she continues to give and to invest in others, in whole new ways. iv Acknowledgments Dr. Jim Ludema recognized how enriching this research would be for me, and he patiently guided my thinking as I narrowed the study question to the form in this paper. Jim’s vision for the Center for Values Driven Leadership at Benedictine University is already making the world a better place, one person and one organization at a time. Dr. Jim “Gus” Gustafson encouraged me through the research, analysis, and writing, with his teaching, his ever present smile, and his joy for life and learning. Even in the most difficult of circumstances, he finished this work with me. Dr. Tom Griffin provided critical insights that strengthened the presentation of this research and my own understanding of its value. Dr. Justin Irvin teamed with this committee to provide valuable insights to complete the work. Bob Buford’s literature on a wide range of mid-life topics for those wrestling with consequential choices was one of the catalysts of my interest in this field of study. Deb Hellmuth’s order and cheer framed a tremendous experience for our cohort, and I am grateful for her friendship. Dr. Marie DiVirgilio, Dr. Kevin Lynch, Dr. Mike Mansfield, and Amber Johnson make the education, executive round tables, and research on values-driven leadership practices a sustainable and exemplary program that is gaining international attention. Bob Buford authored Halftime and other works that started me on my own mid-life introspection experience and seasonal transition. Finally I am thankful to our cohort for the goodwill and fellowship that accompanied our monthly time together; many are now friends. v Table of Contents Chapter 1: Introduction ................................................................................................. 1 Context ...................................................................................................................... 2 Research Question .................................................................................................... 3 A Worthy Exploration............................................................................................... 4 Overview ................................................................................................................... 4 Chapter 2: Literature Review ........................................................................................ 6 Introduction ............................................................................................................... 6 Our Uncommon Context ........................................................................................... 8 Our Common Irony ................................................................................................... 9 Choosing a Mid-Life Introspection Experience ...................................................... 10 Self-Awareness ....................................................................................................... 18 Personality Traits .................................................................................................... 19 Creativity................................................................................................................. 20 Strengths and Weaknesses ...................................................................................... 22 The Concept and Role of Meaning ......................................................................... 28 Meaning and Being Human .................................................................................... 33 The Pursuit of Happiness ........................................................................................ 36 Subjective Well-Being ............................................................................................ 37 Well-Being Theory ................................................................................................. 42 The Nature of Choice .............................................................................................. 44 Alignment ............................................................................................................... 46 Discovery ................................................................................................................ 50 Significance............................................................................................................. 54 Legacy ..................................................................................................................... 56 Gaps in the Research Literature .............................................................................. 57 Chapter 3: Research Approach and Methods.............................................................. 58 Research Approach ................................................................................................. 58 Methodological Considerations .............................................................................. 61 Role of researcher and participants ..................................................................... 61 Research Strategy.................................................................................................... 61 Interview philosophy and approach .................................................................... 64 Interview questions and participants ................................................................... 70 Data collection .................................................................................................... 80 Data analysis ....................................................................................................... 81 Reliability, validity and evaluation ..................................................................... 87 Research limitations ............................................................................................ 92 Chapter 4: Results ....................................................................................................... 93 Overview ................................................................................................................. 93 Philosophical Assumptions ..................................................................................... 93 Epoché (Bracketing) ............................................................................................... 94 Background ......................................................................................................... 94 vi vii Ennui ................................................................................................................... 98 Catalyst for mid-life introspection ...................................................................... 98 Approach to mid-life introspection ..................................................................... 99 Revelations of my mid-life introspection ......................................................... 101 The outcome of my mid-life introspection ......................................................
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