Part 8 - anger management

1 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021

Today’s Text: 1 Corinthians 13:5b 15 Ways to Love In this epic treatise on love, the Apostle Paul is so intent on ensuring people understand its core element of action, that he painstakingly delineates not one or two, but 15 characteristics that capture its essence—each of which are worthy of examination. Remember The 3 Ls… As we delve into each characteristics of love, remember to do the 3 Ls: 1. Listen: This time of day, it’s easy to drift and be satisfied with just being present. But the approach we’ll take with these characteristics of love have the potential to change your entire view of love, so you’ll want to be all ears.

2. Learn: Look for new information or concepts you didn’t know, and try to ingest them so that they become a part of your Christian worldview.

3. Live: Don’t be satisfied with simply learning something new, but always strive to look for ways to incorporate what you’ve learned into your life-style, otherwise it just becomes information. In other words, live it out!

2 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021 Characteristic # 8 Verse 5b - “…it is not easily angered…” Anger in the Divine Anger in the Father First, it’s important to understand that anger itself is not a sin. All throughout the Old Testament we read of times when God Himself was angry, such as when: • The Children of Israel worshipped other Gods (multiple occasions). • The Canaanites practiced child sacrificing (Deuteronomy 7:1-7=6). • David took a census of the people (2 Samuel 24:1). • Solomon’s heart turned away from God (1 Kings 11:9-10). Anger in the Son Like his Father, Jesus also got angry on several occasions. For instance, when: • The disciples tried to obstruct children from coming to Jesus (Mark 10:13-16). • Jesus called out the self-righteous, judgmental attitudes of the Pharisees (Matthew 23:25-32). • Jesus cleansed the temple from theft and exploitation (Matthew 21:12-17). Both God and Jesus experienced what we understand to be “righteous indignation” in response to evil and injustice in the world.

3 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021

Anger in Humans Actually, like Jesus, there should be some things in this world that make us angry, such as: • Injustice • Violence • Poverty • Greed So, anger in itself is not the problem; it’s what we sometimes do with our anger that’s the problem—because if left unchecked, it can easily lead to sin. Word Check: • Ephesians 4:26 Note: So it’s sin, as a result of anger, that’s prohibited. This is because unchecked anger can easily lead to all kinds of sinful expressions: • Physical abuse • Emotional abuse • Verbal abuse • The total demeaning and disparaging of others So the operative phrase in Paul’s description of what love is not is: “easily angered.” He says love is not easily angered, which implies that it’s: • Not Quick tempered • Doesn’t easily fly off the handle • Doesn’t flare up at the slightest provocation

4 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021 What Does this Mean? What, then, does love not being easily angered mean? The Apostle James gives us some help with this. Word Check: •James 1:19 Note the phrase “slow to wrath.” So what Paul is saying is that agape love is slow to anger, meaning, it isn’t: • Irascible • Petulant But rather agape love… • Puts the brakes on anger • It tempers anger • It tones anger down It puts the brakes on anger for the sake of the other person in order to avoid saying or doing some of the things that unchecked anger might lead to, such as: • Being verbally abusive • Being physically abusive • Strongly condemning • Taking revenge So when we have the kind of love that’s slow to anger, it makes us more like God, who scripture declares as “slow to anger.” Word Check: •Psalm 86:15

5 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021

Losing Our Temper is Losing Everything So, agape love is slow to anger, because when we lose our tempers, we lose everything: • Our calm • Our composure • Our respect • Our patience • Our kindness In other words, we lose our ability to treat the other person with the highest good, which, as we now know, is agape love. This is because it’s very difficult to “agape” someone while—because of your anger—you’re: • Verbally abusing them • Strongly condemning them • Demeaning and disparaging them Quote Alert: This is why Rudyard Kipling, in his poem “If,” said: •It was the test of a man if he could keep his head when everyone around him is losing theirs and blaming it on him. The idea, here, is that the man who can master his temper can master anything, including treating others with the highest good.

6 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021 Your Breakout Group Challenges ! Anger Management and Lack Thereof in the Bible Group Challenge #1 Brainstorm with your group members two examples from the Bible of persons who failed the agape test by losing their temper. Who were they? What was the context?

Group Challenge #2 Brainstorm with your group members two examples from the Bible of persons who demonstrated agape love through their avoidance of anger or quick anger in contexts where most people would’ve quickly gotten angry.

7 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021

7 Tips to Avoid Quick Anger 1. In times of testing, pray and ask God to help you maintain your composure. 2. Remind yourself of God’s patience and composure with you. 3. Remind yourself of the repercussions of your anger: ungodly/unloving behavior (James 1:20) 4. Take a timeout. Briefly retreat from the context until your tension abates. 5. Practice being swift to hear and slow to speak. This counteracts quick anger (James 1:19). 6. Stick to “I” Statements to describe the problem. For example, “I’m upset that you…” Rather than, “You always…” 7. If unable to control your quick anger, seek professional help (i.e., counseling).

8 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021 Quotable… ! Zig Ziglar

“I’ve never had to apologize for something I didn’t say.”

9 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021

Quotable… ! Ambrose Bierce

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”

10 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021 Now, Let’s Live It! Post Study Questions to Ponder this Week ! 1. In what areas of life (if any) do you find yourself more prone to quick anger towards others? • List any areas you’ve identified and begin praying for the Lord to help you in those areas.

2. Why do you think you’re more prone to anger in these particular areas? • Could these areas represent unresolved issues? If so, consider addressing these issues before they become more deeply embedded.

11 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021

12 Strange Love - Part 8 Handout - March 31, 2021