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2 for ANZAPA #258 - December 2010 and for display on eFanzines (www.efanzines.com) Creationists believe that God hates show tunes. Evolutionists say that show tunes are a natural way for the sick and feeble minded to recognize each other. Which group is correct? …posted on a window back stage of Melbourne‟s State Theatre Contents The Life of Graeme ............................................................................................................................................ 3 This Issue‟s Cover .............................................................................................................................................. 5 Letters from America ......................................................................................................................................... 6 Rare excerpt from my personal diary ................................................................................................................. 7 LoC from Tim Train ........................................................................................................................................... 8 Confessions of a science fiction fan ................................................................................................................... 9 Happy Christmas, Mervyn ............................................................................................................................... 22 Space Age urban myth ..................................................................................................................................... 23 Commuting by jetpack – the only way to go in 2011 ....................................................................................... 23 Conventions on the horizon .............................................................................................................................. 24 Clerihew corner ................................................................................................................................................ 25 Stefan zone ....................................................................................................................................................... 26 Art, etc. credits… Cover: Graphic by Ditmar Page 2 Photos of Bill Wright and Dick Jenssen Page 9 Photo of Mervyn Binns producing fanzines on the Roneo duplicator (1956) Page 3 Graphic by Ditmar Page 4 Illustration by Terry Morris Page 9 Cover MSFC journal Etherline (1957) Page 5 Illustration by John Bangsund Pages 10-21 Photos of Mervyn Binns and friends from the 1950s to Aussiecon 4 in 2010 Page 6 Illustration by Ian Gunn Page 8 Photo of NZ‟s MONIAC computer (1949) Page 22 Photos by Helena Binns Page 8 Photo of the late Sebastian Horsley Page 23 Amazing pictures of jetpack commutes Page 9 Magazine cover of short story by Sydney Page 24 Convention logos Futurians founder-member Vol Molesworth Page 25 Illustration by Ian Gunn 3 The Life of Graeme So you think you have it tough - Try this for size… It‟s a personal account, totally unedited, of the life of a young man called Graeme, written eight years ago at about the time of his 35th birthday. Allegorically, but graphically, it briefly describes his life up to that time. It also provides an extraordinary insight into the character and personality of the man. Graeme, a natural writer and an intelligent, questioning man, had no formal training in the art of writing. He educated himself by searching to extend his knowledge about all he became interested in. Graeme died a few days ago, aged 43 years, from complications associated with Tourette‟s syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). The Walls of Purgatory graphic by Ditmar This is Graeme's story… It was a bright and shiny day in Heaven when the Lord was sitting on top of his Big Golden Throne made out of marshmallows, candy and smiles. All of a sudden he heard a rumbling below and shouted, “What is all that commotion?" The angels, as one, chorused. “We are so bored, my Lord!" The Lord sat back in his Big Golden Throne and thought. “Hmm ok, I have an idea my sweet angels. Come up and sit next to me". So he gathered all his angels and they all gathered around the Lord. “Ok, well I have been thinking, my sweet angels, and I have an idea how to take your boredom away. Would you like me to keep you entertained for the next... say... 35 years?" "Oh yes please, my Lord. That would be wonderful," the angels squealed. “Fabulous," said the Lord, "Well, here's my plan. I'm going to take a baby, any baby," he giggled under his breath, "and I'm going to make him start thrashing his head so hard against his shoulder blade that his head will hurt. Then I will make him smash his elbow into his side so as to give him intense bruising and tummy pains for a long, long time! His body will move in all kinds of weird and wonderful ways, and his language will be extremely loud and foul. The look on his face will keep you amused for years, my sweet angels!” "Hoorah!" exclaimed the angels! "Oh, don't get too excited as I am barely even started yet. I am also going to make him emit silly, annoying sounds. Not only will you be laughing, I will give the whole world a chance to do so as well, for your Lord is a sharing Lord. He will curse out every single type of person, as your Lord is a very fair Lord and he doesn't discriminate. He will call thin people fat, straight people gay, and those he loves he will say he hates! How clever and amusing is that my sweet angels? But that's not all. I will also give him a drinking habit that will segregate and destroy his friends, his family and work, but because I am a fair Lord, I will stop this drinking just before he has a chance to be up here with all of us! And Satan thinks HE has his own little hell!" And the angels all bellowed with laughter. 4 The angels were so very happy with the Lords plan that they demanded more. "W ell let's not be too over the top. After all, it's only something to while your time away." The angels were disheartened. "Ok, well maybe just one more thing. How about I add in a little extra where he cannot keep any food down and his body turns into a terrible mess and he finds it so very difficult to recover and I will also play a tiny trick on him where he creates laughter, finger pointing and amusement everywhere he goes ... and the best part of-this game is that you will be able to watch him every waking minute of the day!" The Lord sat back and watched the angels cheering, but then all of a sudden he noticed out of the corner of his eye, one little angel sitting cross-legged, with his head bowed. The Lord went and sat down beside the angel and whispered, “What is wrong my sweet angel?" "Well, my Lord, this is a very fun game but isn‟t it a bit silly to put a little baby, who will turn into a man, who hasn't done anything to hurt you, through so much pain and torture for the whole of his life?" The Lord thought for a second. "I know what you mean my sweet angel, so I have accounted for that… "Fear not, my sweet angel, for I will also give the baby an almighty strength of character and will help him cope. I will also give him a loving home with a beautiful family and I will surround him with a bevy of immensely supporting friends who will watch over him and help him through life. I will endow him with a charming wit, intelligence, a giving, caring nature and a sparkle in his eye. But the one thing that will save this boy, sweet angel ... I will give him hope that I have saved for ten men.” The Lord smiled, as he knew, amongst all the pain, that the baby would be ok. 5 This Issue’s Cover It’s Santa Clause, Jim, but not as we know him... Graphic and notes by Dick Jenssen The exploration of other universes on nearby branes has been intense, swift and as thorough as possible. It was reported in the previous issue of Interstellar Ramjet Scoop that glimpses into the plethora of universes described by String Theory have been effected, but only for, so far, three such alternates. The „glimpses‟ are fragmentary, lasting but for a few minutes at a time, and could be variable in both space and time – the piecing together of such shards is problematic at best, and for two of the neighbouring universes is nigh impossible inasmuch as they seem devoid of life, even though the views of both are apparently from the surfaces of respective planets. Stars are in evidence. The third universe – and again the sightings are from the one planet – has provided the most coherent set of „shards‟. When the contact with the universes was reported, and the fragmentary views described, the response from some scientists was negative in the extreme, and disbelief, coupled with violently vituperative comments, was the reaction of some reactionary theorists. It was, perhaps, unfortunate that the word „shard‟ was used in the preliminary reports, for this was seized upon by the antagonists who pointed out that one meaning of the word was „a patch of cow-dung‟. Fortunately the disbelievers were in the minority, and when four other research institutes, world-wide, reported contact with the same three branes, criticism was reduced to a small group. The cover photograph is from the most recent release of information from the Kimball Research Faculty, an affiliate of the Super Hadron Collider, and forms part of the „story‟ reported on in the previous issue of IRS. It seems that the submarine – apparently called the Cedilla (the under-sea cedilla, of course [Note 1]) – which had foundered on a viscous beach had been salvaged, restored