Defining Moments for Therapists  Healing Developmental Trauma  a Hellish Place of Angels

Somatic Psychotherapy Today Summer 2013 Volume 3 Number 1 The USABP Magazine

This issue:

 Defining Moments for Therapists  Healing Developmental Trauma  A Hellish Place of Angels

A PUBLICATION OF THE UNITED STATES ASSOCIATION FOR BODY PSYCHOTHERAPY

Somatic Psychotherapy Today | Summer 2013 | Volume 3 Number 1 | page 2

The Body, Trauma & Family Constellations at Esalen Big Sur, California Love & Belonging: Healing Traumatized Hearts: Harvesting Intimacy, Attachment & Autonomy Oct 13 to 18, 2013 5 Day Relational Constellations & Trauma Training Facilitated by Dr. Dyrian Benz-Chartrand & JoAnna Chartrand-Benz For more info contact JoAnna: [email protected] or go to : www.embodiedpsychology.com or: www.relationalconstellations.com To register go to: www.esalen.org

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Somatic Psychotherapy Today

7 Healing Developmental Trauma Written by Laurence Heller and Aline LaPierre Reviewed by Amanda Fisher 10 The Right Spoon: Sexual Grounding Therapy Finds Paradise in Reality By Nick Duffell, M.A. 24 Regulation of Self and Other By Marjorie L. Rand, Ph.D. 28 Moving Pieces: An Interview with Charlie Blowers By Nancy Eichhorn, M.A., M.Ed., M.A 32 A Hellish Place of Angels: Con Thien: One Man’s Journey By Daryl J. Eigen, Ph.D. 42 An Intimate Portrait of my Journey Through Grief: How Do I Regulate Through its Turbulence? By Isabelle Tierney, M.A., LMFT, CSPT, BHS 44 The Co-Creative Power of Mind in Somatic Regulation and Creative Expression By Jane Latimer, M.A. 54 Defining Moments for Therapists Our Feature Stories Our Feature Edited by Serge Prengel, LMHC and Lynn Somerstein, Ph.D., NCPsyA, PT, RYT Reviewed by Nancy Eichhorn, M.A., M.Ed., M.A. 56 Defining Moments for Therapists: An Interview with Serge Prengel, LMHC By Nancy Eichhorn, M.A., M.Ed., M.A.

We invite you to write an article or be interviewed for our upcoming issues. And/or submit your view of Somatic Expression for our art gallery. All written submissions will be edited, and all writers/interviewees have final approval before publication. We appreciate your knowledge and want to share your story. Please contact Nancy Eichhorn at [email protected]. Upcoming Themes: Fall: Attachment Winter: Reading the Body: Looking to the body for Diagnosis and Treatment Deadline: July 15, 2013 Deadline: October 15, 2013

Volunteer Magazine Staff Nancy Eichhorn, M.A., M.Ed, M.A. Founding Editor, Layout Design Diana Houghton Whiting, M.A., BED Cover Design and layout

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Our Usual Fare

8 Join the Conversation 40 Somatic Expressions By Nancy Eichhorn, M.A., M.Ed., M.A. Featuring: Diane Doheny, M.Ed. 18 Across the Pond 50 International Connections By Jill van der Aa and Lidy Evertsen By Asaf Rolef Ben-Shahar, Ph.D. 20 Body Wise 58 Reflections By Kamalamani By Christine Gindi, MDiv, M.A., SEP 36 Resources 62 Current Research in Review Jacqueline A. Carleton, Ph.D. & the USABP Interns By Dawn Bhat, M.A., M.S., MCC

We are looking for you! Seeking Contributors: Writers, Interviewees, Artists, and Photographers.

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Mosaic reprinted with permission from Peter Kendall www.bodyinsight.co.uk

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Greetings from Sunny California,

I grew up with the concept that you always have a plan A and a plan B; my life’s experiences also taught me that I’m never blocked, never stuck, if I’m willing to change direction. This philosophy has guided me throughout most of my life’s journey. Talking with Ellyme Skove, the 2013 APPPAH Congress Chairperson, about their upcoming Congress, she noted that in life there’s also the reality of a plan C—cancer. Cancer enters many of our lives, sometimes more than once. I am thankful to be living with my parents again as my 83-year-old mother goes through chemotherapy for the second time. While there are many blessings that come with living at home, there is also the added benefit of a great copy editor! So I offer this issue with my mother’s close critical read helping guide the grammatical presentation. The contributors in this issue offer us many vantage points for regulation of Self and with Others. From breath work to mindfulness and movement, our writers share their personal experiences and how they influence their work today. Our writers offer introspective views regarding how we find our way into and out of our lives professionally and personally, how the combination of Self and Other twists with the needs and wants that may arise in our relationships. Serge Prengel and Lynn Somerstein’s new release, Defining Moments for Therapists, reviewed on page 54, offers an insider’s perspective into the experiences we are faced to regulate that result in our knowing, or coming to know, who we are in relationship to ourselves and to one another. There are many resource reviews to explore as well. Books are reviewed throughout this issue; an old mainstay from my classroom teaching days—summer is the time to catch up reading all those books that looked interesting. Our reviewers offer their take on many of the newest books available to enhance your practice and enlighten your knowing. As always, I offer my sincerest thanks to all who contributed to this issue be it writers, interviewees, photographers, advertisers, Facebook Friends, LinkedIn colleagues, and of course, you, our readers. We write to be read, to be seen and heard, and we invite your response. Every author has an email address at the end of his/her story and all of us welcome and want your feedback. I see the pages of Somatic Psychotherapy Today as a jumping off ground for more in-depth conversations via our Facebook page as well as emails directly to one another.

Warmly, Nancy Eichhorn M.A., M.Ed., M.A. [email protected]

Finding or making the right art for the cover of a magazine can be a daunting task. I have found more and more talented artist on-line to help me with this, and I want to introduce the artist who is featured on the cover of this issue.

Molly Pepper is a yoga instructor, massage therapist, painter, and seamstress in the San Francisco area. She runs the on-line shop Yogabee Vintage, her art and other works can be found here: http://www.etsy.com/shop/YogaBeeVintage

I appreciate her openness and willingness to share her art here. If it were not for people like Molly and the other artists we have featured, I would be up a creek without a paddle.

Sincerely, Diana Houghton Whiting, M.A.

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Healing Developmental Trauma

By Laurence Heller, PhD and Aline LaPierre, PsyD

Reviewed by Amanda Fisher, New York University

Childhood trauma can generate emotional distress and unsuccessful relationships later in life. Laurence Heller, PhD and Aline LaPierre, PsyD, explain the Neuroaffec- tive Relational Model as an effective solution for restoring connection and healing trauma. Humans have inherent emotional needs, mainly based around connections and attachment; these very connections represent what it means to be human and what it means to be alive. Trauma is any significant disruption in these connections, a detrimental glitch in the need- satisfaction cycle. Normally, when a need emerges, it is satisfied. Early on in development, if this cycle is disrupted, psychological and physiological disease is triggered, leaving the child with an instinctive compulsion to mend this broken sequence and adapt to altered circumstances. Since children’s schemas and self- concepts are more fluid and changing, they will not recognize a problem as being either with the environment or with their caretaker but will instead believe the problem to be themselves resulting in adaptation, trauma, and disproportionate psychological and physiological distress.

LaPierre and Heller propose the Neuroaffective Relational Model (NARM) as a compelling solution. NARM implements self-regulation techniques, and questions, “What is the implicit intention of the emotion?” Instead of analyzing problems in one’s life, NARM focuses on connection and aliveness in the present moment. The NARM healing process is an interaction between somatic mindfulness and mindful awareness. Somatic mindfulness is achieved through procedures such as somatic experiencing, resolving the physiological effects of trauma, i.e. the aroused survival responses. Awareness develops later, as we gain greater distance from trauma and greater emotional regulation. Essentially, this dynamic solution focuses on the individual’s core needs, recognition of those that are unmet, and, successively, a connection to the life force with a remedy for both the physical and the mental wounds.

NARM allows individuals to both experience the self and improve relationships with the self. It promotes experiencing arousal and emotion, while simultaneously being mindful and separate from emotion, by taking an observational stance; it is a form of self-reflection and self-appreciation. It is to say, “I am often nervous and anxious, but how is this interesting? How can I explore this characteristic with curiosity? How can I see this characteristic from a different perspective?” Self-awareness is significant in its ability to alter patterns of self-rejection, and move one closer to a strengthened connection with one’s personal life force.

2012, Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books. ISBN: 978-1-58394-489-9. 303 pages

Editor’s Note: Be sure to read our Fall issue as Laurence and Aline write about their Neuraffective Relational Model (NARM).

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Join the Conversation

Communication is an essential part of all relationships, and the Internet affords opportunities to network with like-minded colleagues and participate in forums that challenge your thinking and ways of doing. Join the conversation and voice your thoughts on Facebook, Google, LinkedIn, ResearchGate and more.

The Pause

Serge Prengel

Each month the ‘Psychotherapy obvious, you take a moment to let would have done on automatic as a process of relational mindful- yourself not know.” Conceptual- pilot, you will probably enjoy ness’ LinkedIn Group engages in izing this in a clinical view, Serge seeing it with new eyes. a ‘featured discussion’ in addition added that “therapists to various discussions initiated by intentionally take a pause before “For me,” Serge continued, “the members. reacting, even though it may seem ‘pause’ usually follows a moment like a no-brainer what the reaction with a client when I'm stuck and I This month Serge Prengel of- should be.” say to myself, ‘What the hell do I fered a question inspired by the do now?’After that, there is only work of Mary Hendricks-Gendlin, “As you’re pausing”, Serge said, silence in my brain as the co-Executive Director of the “you allow yourself to take in scurrying to find an answer stops. Focusing Institute. Serge invited what it feels like. For instance, are Then I just sit. (Although I used to group members to explore the you noticing a sense of urgency? be unnerved by this, I'm now “pause” in their personal life and If so, is the urgency warranted? comfortable when it happens.) in their therapeutic work and then Or: are you just complying with a Something usually happens, a share their experiences. “should”? Let yourself envision, movement in the session unfolds for a moment, what it would feel without my guidance or Contextualizing the term first, like if you were doing something manipulation. Some of my best Serge referenced Shunryu Suzuki different from the obvious course work comes out of those and the “Beginner’s Mind”. He of action. Chances are, more often moments. posed the question, “What does it than not, you will end up doing take to be in “Beginner’s Mind”? exactly what you would have From Serge’s space of begin- Then, he offered this response: done if you hadn’t taken that ning, participants then added their “When practicing the “Beginner’s pause. It makes sense: We thoughts and their way of being Mind”, you don’t assume you navigate on automatic pilot with the “pause”; an enlightening know the answer even when you because it works well much of the conversation ensued ranging from feel you know the answer, time. But not always. And, even clinical applications to philosophy because it is so simple and when you end up doing what you and spirituality. With Serge’s

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The "Somatic Perspectives" Linked In group (see http://www.linkedin.somaticperspectives.com), which started in 2011, now has over 2,000 members. There is also another Linked In group, “Psychotherapy as a process of relational mindfulness” on which this article is based. http://www.linkedin.integrativeprocess.com permission I borrowed part of the adaptation and change. By letting Building on this sense of the conversation from the LinkedIn go of the outcome and resting in embodiment of cellular presence forum to share here and encourage the moment of what is, we can and on this state of awakened our readers to consider how the slow down the interactions in our cellular consciousness, the discus- “pause” fits into their life and personal life and professional sion centered around the depth of professional practice and join the practice which then allows other meeting one another with a conversation. people’s words to percolate within cellular touch. It was noted that so that we can respond from a whether there was actual physical The responses started with the place of awareness—where we touch or not, the act of being profound effect pausing has listen deeply, feel deeply, and deeply touched at the cellular lev- personally and professionally— allowed silence to pervade the el raised one’s quotient for joy. pausing, for some, affords more room. Many clinicians offered time to sense and feel one’s entire that they receive additional The “pause” is being integrated psyche: sensations, feelings, im- (frequently deeper) sharing from into people’s lives therapeutically ages, impulses. Life is much more their clients when they pause and personally. And the act of embodied and meaningful because which causes them to pause pausing, once part of your way of of the “pause”—it allows for the further, or they have the space to being, creates gaps and within this awareness of the "breath of life" discern what they should offer presence life is lived. Many and makes room for soul-to-soul next. practitioners are no longer even encounters. When in the midst of aware of the pause—it’s become trauma or activation, it also A philosophical stance was of- an intuitive response and they enables people to calm and re- fered: “In the mind of the cell we simply trust and honor whatever source back into the present mo- are contained, there is vast comes. As one participant noted, ment so teaching clients the power stillness, we are also very much “It is often the conditioned of the “pause” as a tool for self- alive and available to respond. response that needs a fresh new regulation can be extremely Here is home. We are embodying eye, a rebirth in a slightly or vast- useful. the basic level of our life form. As ly different key, tone or even note. the fluid cell container condenses The symphony of life in its com- Throughout the responses, there and expands we take in through plexity can be played and experi- was a clear sense of departure the cell membrane what is needed enced differently with simple from the automaticity that arises and let go of what is not needed. pauses.” despite patterned training This could be described as ‘the (educationally speaking) and breath underneath the breath’. It is movement into a space of used as a somatic meditation in Qi The conversation continues consciousness and choice, Gong and other energetic healing online. How does the “pause” in- embodying the reality that the practices and is described as form/influence your life? Your “pause” refreshes and reminds us cellular breathing by somatic pi- work? We look forward to hearing of our capacity to be transformed oneer Bonnie Bainbridge Cohen.” from you as well as our innate potential for

www.linkedin.somaticperspectives.com and www.linkedin.integrativeprocess.com

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The Right Spoon: Sexual Grounding Therapy Finds Paradise in Reality

by Nick Duffell

Talking about sex

Why should it be so hard to talk meaningfully about sex and gender - even amongst therapists? It is a big puzzle. Is it because the sex act is the last bastion of privacy, the most post powerful stimulator and cause of excitement that we know, one which can even bring a president of the most powerful country on earth to his knees? Or is it because it is the primal act, the fount of our very existence, unknowable because it is linked to the mystery of life itself? And why is gender - an everyday reality: we are all men and women - still such a controversial subject?

M y supposition is that the chief problem in While it is crucial to deconstruct the social getting to grips with sex and gender is how we think inheritance of gender identities—what we in the about these subjects. I like to remember the London-based Centre for Gender Psychology call storyteller Michael Meade’s warning that talking “unpacking our Image-makers”—it is equally vital about gender inevitably evokes trouble: you to avoid the currently popular traps either of making invariably step on someone’s hallowed ground. sex and gender into consumer items of choice or Gender is about difference, and difference is never falling into a mainstream/margin dialectic from easy. You cannot separate gender from the most which there is no resolution. Post-modernism has intrinsic constituents of all life forms, nor from been crucial in unpacking the power dynamics but it politics, education or society. You cannot have one- easily becomes a dead-end street, or what size-fits-all approach, and you cannot sidestep the contemporary philosopher Ken Wilber calls a nature-nurture dilemma. ‘flatland’; for excessive relativism offers no values

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serious novelists and become estranged from thinking, journalists than almost since for feeling we need the anything you can find on the body. Our inheritance is the psychology shelves. For tendency to overvalue mental example, Erica Jong’s activity, objectifying our bodies runaway bestseller, Fear of into images while marginalizing Flying (1973) recounts our instinctual body reality. Sex precisely how a woman’s and gender, however, arise from inability to resolve her the body, and have the function of mother complex affects her creating other bodies through sexuality and relationships, activity of different genitals, and thereby no guidance, neither and Nancy Friday’s excellent which we don’t really want to for the young, nor for their research (1973,1977) speaks acknowledge. teachers. volumes about a daughter’s identity inheritance and how Genitals are unique as bodily And Talking About Sex? mothers can bodily support their organs in how we treat them. In children as sexual beings. most spheres of life they are Well, one might argue that our unmentionable, and while the society never stops talking about Unmentionable Organs genitals are still split off, taboo sex, that we are obsessed with it, and thereby over-energised, it is that sexual imagery dominates our Actually, thinking about sex and hard to be related to as a person visual space, that children have gender is not so difficult, I with a whole-body reality. We all never been so exposed to sex as propose, if we can ‘re-member’ know that what’s repressed ends they are now. While this may be our body’s reality. If we really up running the show, that’s how true, meaningful and informed want to be empowered and the whole therapeutic adventure dialogue about sex is rare: church authentic we need to feel our started. The genitals remain taboo; leaders and legislators founder on existence from an embodied and where something is taboo it the rocky complications of sexual starting place. In Western society, means, paradoxically, that its plasticity. Even therapists are our thinking has been so usurped function becomes excessively confused: good education in by Cartesian/Victorian stimulating, exciting, dangerous sexuality, particularly on most dissociation that feeling has even. humanistic training courses, has all but disappeared. Gender and sexuality easily get relegated to diversity issues requiring a sociological approach. I think our clients and our children get dropped by this. Many therapists refer clients on when sexual problems are presented, and yet Sexology remains like a dinosaur resting safely in the medical model, split off from the everyday emotional reality that it actually is in every family in the land.

Unhappily, there is very little in print of a didactic nature that makes grounded sense about sexuality. I suggest that you may be in better hands with some

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The result is that there is chronic them well alone. Sex education in had to go to Holland to meet over-excitement about sex and schools, in Britain at least, is even Willem Poppeliers, a Dutch genitals in our world. You only worse: it is all about fear and developmental psychologist and have to see what the internet disease. Teenagers don’t know body-psychotherapist whose reveals to those eager to see what is right but they do know somatic work derives from genitals in vivid video, or what is wrong; they recognise Willem Reich through consider the ratings of the novel such approaches as bogus and do Bioenergetics, but whose feeling 50 Shades of Gray to have living not feel guided, do not feel held. I for the body is unique, as is his proof of this. suspect it will prove a legacy very keen observation of animal hard to emerge from, unless behaviour. It is like a wildfire that needs to therapists take the lead in thinking be contained, a live current that clearly about sexuality and how to Continued on page 13 needs to be earthed; otherwise it help grounding it. leads inexorably towards a heartless void. When I look at the Sexual Mirroring world around me I see our children burning up in this fire, In the early days of our work particularly in Britain, which with couples and sexuality, my according to UNICEF (2007) has wife, Helena Løvendal-Duffell, the least happy youngsters and the and I, influenced by archetypal highest incidents of unwanted theorists, also tried to avoid the teenage pregnancy, to say nothing unmentionable genitals, focusing of the prevalence of child sexual on gender as a social issue and abuse in the developed world. I sex as a psychological one. But it am not surprised when I look at didn’t work. To meet our clients, British culture: I see parental we had to get more real and more approaches to their adolescent involved bodily. A major turning offspring which are very hesitant ; point for us was finding someone people seem to think that guiding who thought clearly about sex and them sexually is either about gender and included genitals in having a ‘big talk’ or leaving the therapeutic frame. For this we Willem Poppeliers

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Poppeliers’ thinking about fulfilment rather than of employs: sexuality made bodily sense and disturbance over their entire Stern suggests that by his somatic exercises were developmental lifespan. As they mirroring the parent is helping to designed to promote what he calls develop, children’s needs change, create something within the child “Cellular learning.” His Sexual and at puberty their development that was only dimly or partially Grounding Therapy (SGT) is built into sexual beings is so important there until his/her reflecting acted around the understanding that our and its understanding so lacking in somehow to solidify its existence reproductive potential is our prime our post-industrial civilisation that (1985). nature, that sexuality is at the we tend to abandon our young heart of human existence, the people. Certainly the British case In SGT the parental functions in ground of our being. Sexuality (confirmed by the UNICEF grounding sexuality are identical, cannot be understood without a report) would seem to bear this but vary at different ages. At the developmental context nor out. earlier developmental age, 3-5, disconnected from its reproductive sometimes called the Oedipal function. He sees the human body Poppeliers’ emphasis on the Period, children become occupied as a field with energetic centres in mirroring needs of the four year- with being like or unlike Mom or the brain, the heart and the old and the child in puberty is, I Dad, exploring their gender genitals; living involves both think, key. According to Theo identity and their genitals, playing expressing and regulating the Royers, who is researching the games of Mommies and Daddies energetic flow between centres, academic connections between and doctors and nurses. They have intra- and inter-personally, with Poppeliers’ new body- an inbuilt need to be seen in their the heart as the chief mediator. psychotherapy and classical differences as growing persons positions, mirroring is exactly the with genitals and the parent’s But what struck me, as an function that the parent who response to them is crucial. Englishman, as most unique and knows how to appropriately Frequently, such needs are met significant about Poppeliers’ work respond to her child sexually with parental shaming. Naming is how he centres his theories around a profound understanding of children’s needs. Critical to his vision is his claim that children continue to need mirroring beyond infancy. In Britain, Attachment Therapy is currently undergoing a welcome renaissance, but later developmental needs, especially those of puberty, are not well understood, as I know very well from my other speciality: 25 years pioneering therapy with adults who were sent away to boarding schools as children.

Poppeliers has a clear and precise theoretical framework for the ongoing needs of human beings in sexuality. He stresses children need to be recognised, regulated and responded to, so that their own sexual energy and excitement can become integrated and grounded as a source of

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the preoccupation with genitals as ‘dirty’ may be a precise repetition of the parents’ own experience; it is a sure way of installing life- long insecurity in the child. Poppeliers sees the obstruction or corruption of original innocence and curiosity accounting for the West’s obsession and over- excitement with witnessing genitals and sex acts. Here is Willem in his unique style, in his own words:

For me, losing natural sexuality has been the biggest cause of alienation and unhappiness in our world. In Sexual Grounding Therapy, we always put the child at the centre and in its developmental frame. If you look to the outside world, when a child tries to express its sexual nature, people start to look from their own adult perspective and project When the child has to be fed, the becoming whole and mature and their thoughts about sexual mother takes a very small spoon. fulfilled. intercourse. These thoughts are But when it comes to the genital full of their own disappointedness stage, the mother does not have a The affective channels along about not being a shame-free small spoon; she has an adult which sexuality flows in the sexual person. And most sexual spoon. Why is that possible? Revelation Stage belong to what acting-out comes from not having Where is the right spoon? So in SGT calls Relationship Functions. been treated as a whole person Sexual Grounding we like to see These include: Innocence, as right from the beginning with the child exactly in the stage sexuality arises in the genitals and sexuality, born from where it is, and the parents from polymorphous context of early intercourse. the outside world have to relate to childhood; Curiosity, about that stage. Then it’s safe and it’s difference and the origins of life, The prime unmet need in the normal; genitals are normal, like which means the reality of the West is for a healthy Sexual or the mouth, eyes and anus. We are genitals; Excitement as the sexual Genital Mirroring, as Poppeliers very strict on that because the energy begins to flow and express calls it, so that children can be child has to be safe and to be itself. Regulation is next, for guided to naturally evolve into approached in the stage that it is. sexuality needs to be put into whole sexual beings. The easiest To help people return to that context of the relational status mistake for parents to make is to safety, that wholeness, we between people rather than confuse an adult perspective of emphasise professional work on exploited or repressed. An sexuality with, or project it onto, a the whole body, including example would be that a father child’s context. As adults we need genitals, not for enhancing sexual sees an adolescent daughter as to bear this skillfully in mind, as relating for pleasure and ecstasy, needing his appropriate sexual we must as therapists, when we but to bring about full genital support and not to be involved in regress a client. Willem explains: functioning throughout life, for sexual acts with him or avoided.

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The Relationship Functions are the parents. It looks like, out of the connected with the development spontaneous in their arising but perspective of SGT, that adult stages, the most natural way, and require guidance and support for integration of the genital existence we know that already. When we developmental health. This experience in the whole body- can really reflect our own sexual involves the presence of loving system as a total mental image of development we can feel on the and shame-healed adults in their ourselves did not take place. We body level what was wrong and lives, who are able to “put the now are busy to find possibilities what was right. So if we put this child in the centre of the frame.” of doing scientific research on whole genital relationship in a Originally these should be parents, this. fundamental, natural way, there but educators and therapists can comes laws or rules, natural rules. “do the job,” as Willem says, Although it is a cutting-edge And it is far more easy for society including repair work, if they have discipline, both therapeutically to transform these rules into more informed and healed themselves. and socially, it is practised in cultivated ones, if based on Holland, Germany, France, nature. Sexual Grounding Therapy in Switzerland, Hungary, Ukraine, Action and Mexico, where it was known Instead, Willem has focused his as ‘Inner Condom’. Poppeliers efforts on training a small group of Willem is optimistic that explains this as “an internal therapists and establishing a original innocence can be healed attitude change to your own sexual foundation which ensures the and regained through the feelings and actions. If we highest ethical standards amongst application of SGT. He is continue to leave relationship out accredited practitioners. In fact, currently exploring scientific and of sexuality, then we don’t protect much of what he teaches is health-care approaches, including ourselves, or our children.” adaptable to ‘regular’ therapy: a Dutch University with a view to However, in the UK and the US, Helena and I, for example, have conducting a MRI scanner control where much more tentative conducted hundreds of clinical programme to monitor results as attitudes to sexuality prevail, it is ‘takes’ of sexual ‘re-parenting’ part of research on Hypersexual still not well known. Because which have been widely Desire Disorder (HSDD) on participants sometimes work applicable and extremely women. without clothes and involve the effective. This can involve entire body, Willem has remained something as simple as having a Clinically, SGT is currently shy of publicity, in order to serve parent figure support a participant practised as a body-oriented group discretion and psychological in the role of an adolescent; therapy only. For the sake of integrity, as he explains: perhaps noticing and appropriately safety, there is rigorous approving of their growing application screening, mostly It is hard to transmit to people sexuality; perhaps standing by his/ drawing from the therapeutic that you can work on the body, on her role-spouse to show that this is community, but also parents and the whole body in psychotherapy. where the parent’s sexuality is teachers. However, it remains In medical healthcare, they can. If anchored, thereby freeing the child extremely controversial since you have a disease on your to grow up and become a sexual Willem attempts to re-establish the genitals, they don’t say its taboo. I being supported by and seen in genitals as part of the knowable think it’s coming, but it is very their development by parents who body, and that jars for many in the slow. It has to be protected; it has believe in sexuality rooted in therapy world, too. And yet, this to be open, direct, not with a relationship. is not so disconnected from new secret agenda. It has to be open approaches to Attachment and and natural in the frame of the In energetic terms, the Mentalization therapies. Willem developmental stages. And it has embodiment of such a belief in suggests: to be professional. And there have sexuality rooted in relationship to be norms, and that’s why can be experienced as a lack of dis According to Fonagy, sexual Sexual Grounding therapists have -connect and sometimes as a feelings and fantasies mostly are to agree to very precise ethical ‘streaming’ (in Reichian terms) not recognized and mirrored by guidelines. The norms for me are between the energetic centres of

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the brain, the heart, and the wants to ask his ‘parent’ about the participants is recognising Father genitals. The heart’s involvement connection between his heart and and Mother as sexual creatures, in sexuality in SGT is key: as the his genitals and asks her to speak as sexual sources. If you can source of deep affect, of values those things he is longing to hear. really realise - with your whole and meaning, as well as the The helper gently makes these body - that father and mother are regulator of the body’s own statements, exactly the way the the source of sexuality for you, autonomic nervous system, the worker always wanted to hear, and that their genitals play a very heart’s central position in sexual and the worker allows them to important role via intercourse, identity and expression goes affectively pervade and influence and the whole emotional range beyond the over-stimulation of his body system. When the around it, things become the consumer culture and changes worker is ready, he begins to different. Then you look to your everything. Here is one brief move the helper’s hands away neighbour and you see that you example of the kind of SGT group from his heart and his genitals and both come from such intercourse. work situation that promotes such senses his own internal It is not easy, and we prefer not to a ‘re-membering’, ‘re-connecting’ connectedness and that of the do it—to look at someone and outcome involving touch and relationship. The exercise will realise that this person comes grounding. take at least half an hour. The pair from intercourse. I think it is like thank each other, reflect, make seeing through the eyes of After a warm-up, participants notes and share, then change Hieronymus Bosch! If we do it, work in pairs: worker and helper. roles. mostly we start to laugh. The one who wants to work on reconnecting lies down on a Some Inevitable Objections But here are our roots, and here mattress and imagines which is where the distortion comes. parent he would need most at this Some who hear about SGT Our cells know it, but the cortex, moment. The helper ‘becomes’ suggest that it puts too much influenced by the outside, denies this one. After deep relaxation, emphasis on good parenting, it, and when you do that your the helper/ parent places her whereas traditionally therapy, heart goes out. Your heart jumps hands on the diaphragm of the following ‘reality,’ has focussed in again when you start to realise worker. When the worker is on parental lacks. But, as he nears it again and say to yourself, ready, he begins to move the the age of seventy, Willem is “Wait a minute I have to really helper’s hands towards his heart increasingly sure of the value of look to my life.” So then you take and his genitals for support. The the deep sources of our sexual all these sources, your cortex, helper maintains eye contact, information and the gift from our your heart and your genitals. So relaxed deep breathing and parents. recognising father and mother as sensitivity to her own internal sexual creatures is a very connectedness as a loving, sexual In Sexual Grounding Therapy fundamental thing. parent. The worker reflects on all the most important direction for he Some criticise SGT for its apparent idealism and essentialism, to suggest that for a child to be grounded throughout the Oedipal period and puberty is like “finding paradise in reality.” Here is Willem’s pragmatic reply:

This is not idealistic, it is reality. It is realistic. It comes from life. If you find paradise in reality, you stop your idealism, because it has no function anymore.

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Special thanks to Willem working on a book entitled Fonagy, P.G. (2006). A genuinely developmental theory of sexual Popppeliers and Theo Royers for Thinking about Sex. He is father enjoyment and its implications for their help in the preparation of of two grown up sons, loves to psychoanalytic technique. Paper this article. Quotations from play tennis and saw wood, lives presented at the Winter Meeting of the American Psychoanalytic Association. Willem Popppeliers come mostly somewhere in France profonde, from an interview Nick did with and sees couples and supervisees Friday, N. (1977). My Mother/Myself : The him in 2006. in London and Oslo. Daughter's Search for Identity. (Book Club Edition Ed., p. 425). New York, NY: Delacorte Press, pp. 128-135. Contact: Nick Duffell M.A. (Oxon), Dip. [email protected] Friday, N. (1973). My Secret Garden. New York, NY: Dell Publishing. Psy. I.P. was born in England in 1949. Leaving Oxford with a Websites: Jong, E, (1973). Fear of flying. London, degree in Sanskrit, he worked as a England: Secker & Warburg, London, teacher in India and then as a www.genderpsychology.com pp. 38-52. carpenter before retraining as a www.creativecouplework.com Meade, M. (1993). Men and the Water and psychotherapist. He holds Life: Initiation and the Tempering of Men, New York: Harper SanFranscico. graduate diplomas in Systemic www.man-womanproject.com Family Mediation, Poppeliers, W. & Broesterhuizen, M. (Ed.) Psychosynthesis Psychotherapy www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk 2007. Sexual Grounding Therapy: Love and Sexuality in the Perspective of and Supervision, and Sexual Relations and Generations. Breda (The Grounding Therapy (body- www.sexualgrounding.com Netherlands): Protocol Media psychotherapy). In the early 90's Productions. he was a trainer and supervisor in www.men-maenner.net Royers, P. (2013). Sexual Grounding Therapy London and in 1996 he co- and Attachment. Unpublished founded The Centre for Gender dissertation. References Psychology with his wife, Helena. Stern, Daniel N. (1985). The Interpersonal Nick is the author of The Making Bionenergetic definition of ‘Grounding’ World Of The Infant. A View From of Them, The British Attitude to retrieved from: http://www.bioenergetic- Psychoanalysis & Developmental therapy.com Psychology. New York: Basic Books. Children and the Boarding School System, (Lone Arrow Press 2000), Duffell, N. (2006). Double trouble: Wilber, K. (1995). Sex, Ecology, Spirituality: a contributing author to The Reflections on intimate relationships and The Spirit of Evolution, Boston: stress. Stress News, 18(1), p. 4. Shambhala. Dictionary of Personal Development (Wiley-Blackwell Duffell, N., & Løvendal, H. (2002). Sex, love, UNICEF, (2007). Child poverty in 2001) and co-author of Sex, Love and the dangers of intimacy: A guide to perspective: An overview of child well- passionate relationships when the being in rich countries. UNICEF & the Dangers of Intimacy, "honeymoon" is over. London, England: Innocenti Research Centre, Florence. (Thorsons 2002) and Das Buch für Thorsons, pp. 142-148. © The United Nations Children’s Fund. Paare, (InneWelt Verlag 2007). Retrieved from Duffell, N., & Løvendal, H. (2001). Sex, He is a frequent writer and www.unicef.org/media/files/ power, and spirit. Self & Society, 29(2), ChildPovertyReport.pdf broadcaster on matters pp. 41-42. psychological, and is currently

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Across the Pond

European Association for Body Psychotherapy

Jill van der Aa General Secretary/Vice President Lidy Evertsen EABP President

Virtual Body Psychotherapy? By Lidy Evertsen

This morning I read an article in a Furthermore the article mentions helps the client because the Dutch psychological magazine people who are too sick to get out mirroring of the therapist by the ‘Psyche and Brain’ (2013). The the door. client also contributes a bit. The article was about internet therapy. therapist herself is also able to Various research projects have People with PTSD are also pick up much more information in shown that in different cases of possible candidates for internet a person-to-person meeting. (mild) depression and other therapy. Reading this I begin to get complaints internet therapy can an uncomfortable feeling in my Sometimes I do SKYPE sessions bring some improvement. stomach. If I think of the PTSD with students who are in clients and the clients with supervision and live far away. In- This gives rise to an interesting dissociative aspects, with whom I deed it is better than nothing, but two-track picture for the future: on am working, I would not like to we both always breathe a sigh of the one side brain research shows leave them to the computer alone. relief when we meet together in how important it is to involve the person again. As in so many body when working with trauma; With many of them I also have discussions about better ways or on the other side, a trend is contact through email, telephone, different approaches it would seem developing to offer therapy via the What’sApp or SKYPE, if that inclusiveness offers the most computer. necessary. But having absolutely fruitful choice. This implies that no more live contact would make within body (somatic) There are advantages to this recent an important part of the therapy psychotherapy we should find a development. The article points us impossible. Developing safety in way to build internet methods into to people in Asia who do not have the relationship works much better our way of doing therapy. Or not ? access to therapy because their when seeing each other in person. feelings of shame forbid it. They The research that this article is Keeping Pace with Change could receive help anonymously based on shows that also—the By Jill van der Aa through the internet. Feelings of fall-out of internet therapy clients shame could also be the reason is at least three times as high as in In our last Across the Pond we that people from other parts of the face-to-face therapy. said that, “while we are attempting world don’t dare to lay some to define body (somatic) psycho- subjects on the therapy table. They Regulating the physical charge can therapy, the field rumbles under- could also get help earlier for these partly take place through SKYPE neath our feet – it is changing, de- problems. but to do the exercises together veloping, exploding with insights

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and new approaches”. Some of the university training for psychother- es will include some of the experi- changes are happening so quickly apists. Coming out of a history ential areas that we find particu- that we sometimes do not know geared to experiential work, the larly important. how to react to keep pace or very idea of an academic course is perhaps in some cases to stop the anathema to many of us. While we In fact in some cases the universi- flow or point it in a direction we wouldn’t disagree that a body psy- ties are welcoming therapists with feel is more attuned to our work. chotherapist should have a really a body (somatic) psychotherapy For instance more and more East- good basic knowledge of psychol- training first so that they can then ern European countries are training ogy and have had some solid ana- progress into the masters or in body psychotherapy but they are lytical training—a training to de- doctorate level. small countries with few trainers velop ‘a scientific mind’—we and the students have limited would disagree with an academic- All of these developments keep us financial resources. In our only study. After all, “body” im- on our feet so to say, and keep our membership criteria we ask that plies a whole lot more. We ask of feet firmly on the ground, which in applicants have done therapy and our members that they have at least our field is exactly where we want supervision with therapists other 150 hours of personal psychothera- them to be. than their trainers. py and 75 hours of professional supervision as well as 600 hours of For information about the EABP Christina Bader (President of the professional practice. It is unclear or to comment on this article Swiss National Association of whether an academic degree would please contact us at EABP – CH-EABP) and Sibylle require this. And do we let loose [email protected] Huerta Krefft (from Germany, who ‘psychotherapists’ who have fin- completed her Masters degree in ished their degree at 21-years-old Reference: supervision) have come up with a onto clients! Some countries do ‘Psyche en Brein’, issue nr. 2, 2013, 6 – plan of finding therapists among not allow people to practice before 11 [‘Inloggen op een virtuele therapeut’ our members who are willing and 28-years-old suggesting that by author Christiane Gelitz] + page 12 – 15 trained to give supervision through that time they have added some [‘Psychische bijstand voor onderweg’ SKYPE for a lesser price than they life experience to their curriculum author Jana Hauschild]. might charge in their own vitae. countries. And probably not in the original language of the people to However, we too are moving in be supervised! this direction; as in Europe, there are body psychotherapy As Lidy points out above, we feel components in the Philipps- more comfortable with person-to- University of Marburg, Germany person therapy where we can feel (2-year Masters Program in Motol- the client in front of us and in this ogy with study major Body Psy- solution we have to make do with chotherapy), Queen Elizabeth Col- face-to-face through SKYPE. lege in Edinburgh (the ther- However, with supervision more apeutic use of dance and move- than personal therapy, we rely on ment), Naples (2-year Master for the fact that they have already Doctors, Psychologists and Psy- Michael C. Heller (2012) writes fulfilled many of our requirements. chotherapists), and pending final from a clear place of knowing and The alternative, having supervisors approval, a masters in Body Psy- knowledge. His book, Body Psy- go to these countries regularly, is chotherapy at ANGLIA RUSKIN chotherapy History, Concepts and just not possible. University, Cambridge, United Methods, covers the complete in- Kingdom. As some of our own tellectual history that informs psychotherapy practices. It is a well In the same line of thinking, members are involved with these written critique with respect to all another wave that is difficult for us developments, we feel a certain modalities housed under the term to hold back is the move towards amount of trust that the syllabus- body psychotherapy. N. Eichhorn

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Body Wise By Kamalamani

Mammal Body

"Our bodies are wild. The involuntary quick turn of the head at a shout, the vertigo of looking off a precipice, the heart-in-the-throat in a moment of danger, the catch of the breath, the quiet moments relaxing, staring, reflecting—all universal responses of the mammal body . . . The body does not require the intercession of some conscious intellect to make it breathe, to keep the heart beating. It is to a great extent self-regulating, it is a life of its own" (Snyder, 1990, p.17).

I've been watering the plants in What I have most appreciated in local allotment (community my therapy room. It's rapidly the time I've been working in this garden) just three minutes walk becoming like a jungle. At least a beautiful, simple room, a little from home. This feels like part of little jungle in suburbia. There's over two and a half years, is that the same process of attending to fig, spider plant, butterfly palm, which I've learnt about nurturing other and in doing so, attending to calathea, hypoestes, peace lily, and care, in particular, returning to self. For the past two years we've bromeliad, Boston fern, yucca, and a state of nurturing and care when been on the waiting list for an a few mystery guests of unknown things don't go to plan, which, of allotment and for nearly two years species. Nearly all of the plants course, they often don't. In fact, I before that I was trying to have been adopted from others: plan far less in my own life the convince my partner he actually my Mum and nearby neighbours older I get. Of course, I've learnt wanted one (thankfully he came who have left them out in the about nurturing and care through round to the idea). I found I have street, a little limp and sad-looking my continuing and deepening fallen in love with a little patch of ready for the rubbish collection. work with clients, supervisees and neglected earth. Grubbing around trainees in this room. But this in the soil, sowing seeds, pruning This room is like no other room morning I've been realising what in driving rain and thunder and in our house. It is quite plain, with I've learnt about nurturing and care lightning, and shaping beds have the main 'decorative' feature being of myself and my own been the highlights of my month. the plants. I love the fact that there self-regulation at the beginning of I'm surprised to find that I are more plant beings than human the middle years of my life. particularly appreciate the fact that beings in this room. I love their we don't own this land; we are its different colours, heights, and This morning, the plants in my stewards. textures. I love the shadows of the therapy room were powerful plants cast at night by the symbols of the capacity to attend This field has its unique history. floor-level lights. I have loved and to the other: human and other-than Since enclosure, it has been part of have sometimes been confused by -human. In the case of the plants: a local farm and more recently the the process of figuring out what it feeling the dryness of the soil, field upon which the local funeral is that makes each of them thrive removing dead leaves, misting, director kept the black horses and flourish, paralleling work with feeding, tweaking - 'are you happy which used to pull the carts clients and supervisees. there fern?' A month ago my carrying coffins before the times partner and I became tenants of a of motorised hearses.

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I love this equine link (think two verlook from our bedroom win- There's been lots to do. My editions ago and my singing the dow. On a morning of low mist surprise is that this doing has been praises of 'Wild horses and and rising sunlight it has some- the most therapeutic, practical, Olympic dreaming'). Historically thing of the enchantment of a far hard work I've ever done. It's been these fields have also been used as distant Vale of Avalon. a difficult midwinter and early gardens, orchards and for the site spring. A close friend and work of Sunday-school outings and It has been fascinating to get to colleague in my family business picnics. The fields overlook East know 'our' patch of land. died suddenly in her sleep before Bristol where some of my paternal Fascinating and, at times, a little Christmas. She and I shared an ancestors were long-standing disquieting. The land has been office for many years and were market gardeners. For much of the neglected. At times this has intimate in the way workmates 20th century and now in the 21st reminded me quite tangibly of become intimate: sharing the bits century these fields have been neglect I have experienced in my of life that seem so mundane but carved lovingly into allotments own body and those of my clients. pattern our everyday. I have been and rented to local people to grow When we were first being shown bewildered by shock and grief and their fruit, veggies and, nowadays, the three plots on offer 'ours' was a doubled workload. flowers, too. by far the most overgrown, domi- nated by a central patch of wild, My partner and I have taken on It is a lovely part of Bristol. For overgrown fruit bushes, an apple the allotment during the phase of years I have been walking along tree, and a large, rather stagnant the subsiding of shock and the the lane along the top of the pond at the bottom of the land. emergence of softer, sadder grief allotments en route to the local Given how busy each of us are, and disbelief. As often happens common. The allotment lane runs this was by far the most with grief, my body reminds me along a high ridge of land running demanding and least sensible of earlier grief and losses, and in north-east, with views of the allotment to take on, and yet, well parallel, an acknowledgement of suburbs of south-east Bristol, it just kind of chose us. I looked where I am and how I am now. stretching all the way to a line of across at my partner, praying he What life looks like, what I'm hills which acts as a natural wouldn't plump for the more real- doing with the time available to barrier between Bristol and the istic not so very overgrown op- me, and how I deal with the fact neighbouring city of Bath. At one tion. He looked at me, smiled, that none of us know how long of the highest point sits 'Kelston and nodded knowingly, and the that time will be. Will I be three Roundhill' an enchanting hill weo- decision was made. score years and 10, three years older than my dear Dad at his death, or 45, like my workmate?

Clearing, weeding, shovelling, pruning and planting have plonked that question into perspective in no uncertain terms. The allotment has got me outside in all weathers, in the thick of the elements, calling me to work. It’s been the coldest March since 1962 in England, there's been a lot of weather, internal and external! Working the allotment has been hugely cleansing and reparative. My life has been patterned by a fair amount of grief and loss, as well as losses that have shaped my

Continued on page 22 Photograph taken and donated by Kamalamani Somatic Psychotherapy Today | Spring 2013 | Volume 3 Number 1 | page 21

acquaintance on a community level. I've lived in this neighbour- hood for many years but I've had more conversations with fellow allotment holders, also neighbours, than I've ever had in such a short time period. I've put names to faces to whom I've been saying good morning for years. I am struck by generosity: 'borrow my tools', 'have these spare onion sets', and the curiosity in seeing just how differently people approach their relationship with their patch of land, how different yet how similar we humans are in our weird and wonderful styles Photograph taken and donated by Kamalamani and strategies in living.

close loved ones. In terms of my with its own life, history, beauty, Something goes on in these own self-regulation I can revert neglect and plant knowledge, for ". . . quiet moments relaxing, easily to early strategies and don't forget, plants know things staring, reflecting" between raking 'brittle up' around grief. I watch too! (Chamovitz, 2012). No and weeding. We slow down, we myself withdraw in dread and wonder, then, that horticultural get our hands dirty, we hear the silent terror, resonating right back therapy and ecopsychological birds, perhaps we have more time to first terrors. This winter I have practices are increasingly popular. for ourselves and one another. more often than not been quiet rather than withdrawn and find I We have both wanted to follow “The ground that is cultivated in am becoming re-acquainted with quite intuitively what we find on the garden is common ground, neglected parts of myself. That this patch of land. We've pruned shared by many and host to re-acquaintance has taken place in hard in what we lovingly called multitudes. Every particle of soil, surprising ways, with myself, the 'fruit forest': clearing so the every atom of earth, is alive with trusted others and this patch of swamped apple tree avoids being mystery and potential all stirred land. completely choked to death by the up together. Every soil is a long tangle of both its own earth- winding story, told in the voices of In living this bit of life I have burrowing branches and the wild water and inhaled and exhaled re-experienced something of my growth of the gooseberries and red air, of the stone-slow cycle of rock 'mammal body' to which Gary currants. But we've wanted to itself becoming soil, and in the Snyder (1990) refers in the follow the natural shapes that we voices of the swarming masses of opening quote: "The involuntary find. So the top bed is egg-shaped, microorganisms feeding, breath- quick turn of the head at a shout, quite apt, because we worked on it ing and dying on fertile dust, cre- the vertigo of looking off a on Easter Sunday with the ating new life out of their bodies precipice, the heart-in-the-throat goddess Oestra in mind. It follows made from exploded stone." in a moment of danger, the catch the curve of the path on one side (Johnson, 2008, p. 88) of the breath, the quiet moments and curve of the autumn Kamalamani is an Embodied- relaxing, staring, reflecting". The raspberries on the other. Relational therapist, supervisor, facilita- tsunami of shock through my tor and writer living and working in Bris- body this winter has caught me It'll take years to learn what tol, UK. She has been a practicing Bud- unawares. And I've come back to does and doesn't grow here, which dhist since her early 20s and loves seeing earth through working with and other beings live and feed from how age-old teachings and practices are relevant to contemporary life. She works relating to this little patch of land, this earth. Then there's been re- at the interface of body psychotherapy,

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ecopsychology and ecodharma, drawing upon her experiences of being a development worker in sub-Saharan Africa, a lecturer in International Development at the University of Bristol, her current meditation practice and being a child lost and found in nature. Her first book 'Meditating with Character', published in 2012, explores engaging with meditation through the lens of post-Reichian character positions. She is a steering group member of the UK-based Psychother- apists and Counselors for Social Re- sponsibility (PCSR) and editor of its in -house journal, 'Transformations'. She co-facilitates Wild Therapy workshops with Nick Totton and meditation workshops based on her book. www.kamalamani.co.uk

References:

Chamovitz, D. (2012). What a plant knows: A field guide to the senses of your garden and beyond. One- world Publications.

Johnson, W. (2008). Gardening at the dragon's gate: at work in the wild and cultivated world. Bantam Trade Paperbacks. “The Shed” photographed and donated by Lynden Swift Snyder, G. (1990). The practice of the www.tangiblepresence.co.uk wild. Counterpoint. 'Contemporary approaches to the ence in body psychotherapy: theoreti- Bibliography: body in psychotherapy: two psycho- cal and clinically relevant aspects', in therapists in dialogue' in Corrigall et Hartley, L. (Ed.). (2008 ). Contempo- Gerhart, S. (2004). Why love matters: how al (eds) (2006) About a body: Work- rary body psychotherapy: the Chiron affection shapes a baby's brain. ing with the embodied mind in psy- approach. Routledge. Routledge chotherapy. Routledge. Totton, N. (2003). Body Psychotherapy. Orbach, S. & Carroll, R (2006). Stauffer, K. (2009) .'The use of neurosci- Open University Press.

The Institute for Embodiment Studies is a non-profit educational organization dedicated to advancing interdisciplinary scholarship in the field of embodiment studies. Through education, research, and community engagement, the Institute provides an international forum for academics, practitioners, and community leaders to share knowledge about the role of the body in human experience.

http://www.embodimentstudies.org/

Founded in 2011 by Dr Rae Johnson Somatic Psychotherapy Today | Spring 2013 | Volume 3 Number 1 | page 23

Regulation of Self and Other

By Marjorie L. Rand

Just this morning a former client called because she was having altercations with her pre-adolescent son (11 ½ years old). He was angry, frustrated, and taking it out on her. After explaining that he was differentiating from her (the developmental issue), the important and most helpful part came next. I explained that her son was regulating her levels of emotion, and that she needed to take back her self-regulation and regulate herself, thereby, once again, as the parent, becoming the regulator of the relationship.

believe that the only person you can regulate is On the sympathetic side we can conscious function. We can use yourself; however, in a have hyper or hypo arousal—too conscious breathing to self- relationship (two or more much or too little sympathetic regulate our level of arousal. Ipeople), there is a system and any firing. The same is true for the time one component of the system parasympathetic side. So hyper The sympathetic ganglia reside changes, it requires the other parts sympathetic is dysregulated and in the thoracic segment; to of the system to re-adjust to that needs to be down regulated by stimulate sympathetic firing (for change. firing the parasympathetic side. depression, for example), we want to breathe into the upper chest, But first, what are we The most effective way to inhale more than exhale, and regulating? Well, it has been influence the ANS is through breathe quickly. The called “affect” , “arousal”, and breathing. Our bodies do this parasympathetic ganglia lie in the “energetic”, but what we are really unconsciously (autonomically), as lumbar area; to stimulate the talking about are autonomic in heavy breathing while running parasympathetic (as in anxiety for nervous system (ANS) states of or during sex, or slow abdominal example), we want to breathe in regulation or dysregulation. The breathing during sleep, rest, and the lower abdomen, with a longer ANS has two branches: the states of calm. This is all regulated exhale than inhale, and with long sympathetic (fight/flight) and the by neurons in the brain that slow breaths. parasympathetic (relaxation). measure CO2 levels in the blood These two branches are meant to and when they fire, they tell the As I said before, ideally the ANS be in homeostatic balance, so that diaphragm to move (which causes should be in balance, but when a an optimal state of well-being is breathing). However, breathing person is dysregulated, he/she is energized and relaxed. can be both an unconscious or stuck in one side (sympathetic or

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parasympathetic) or the other. So any particular way. Observing Exercise 3. Satisfying Breath we use conscious breathing to will always change your regulate our states of arousal. breathing pattern; that’s OK, “Lie on your back. Notice that There are many breathing just watch how it changes.” you have an appetite for air that techniques from ancient yogic feels satisfied when you breathe pranayama to simply observing Exercise 2. Primitive in and out just the right amount. the breath (more like Breathing Rhythm Allow your flow in and mindfulness). out in whatever way keeps the “Lie on your back. Completely breath feeling completely cease all effort to breathe. Let comfortable at all times. Make your breath stop, but don’t try to that comfort the highest priority. stop your breath. Notice that It does not matter whether your your body inhales all by itself. rate of breathing is fast or slow, This is the self-oscillating DRG shallow or deep, continuous or nerves ramping up and driving interrupted. It does not matter the diaphragm to contract. which parts of your body move Notice that after a few seconds in order to breathe, nor whether inhalation ends spontaneously. the breath pauses or changes Do not try to exhale. Notice that patterns, just as long as you the inhalation stops all by itself, breathe in a way that satisfies the belly falls, and a certain your appetite for at every amount of air leaves the body. moment. When you do this, it Breathing Exercises Created by This means the DRG neurons means that you are maintaining Roger Cole Ph.D. have stopped firing and are your CO2 level at or near the letting the diaphragm relax, so level that your nervous system Exercise 1. Observing the the belly recoils. Still, do not most prefers. Fine tune your Breath make any effort to breathe. breath to maximize the sense of Watch as more inhalations come, satisfaction at every instant.” “Take a stable, comfortable abruptly end, and the breath goes sitting position. Set a timer for out again.” Continued on page 26 three minutes and start it running. Close your eyes and simply observe your breathing without judgment. Allow the breath to do whatever it does. Just watch it for the entire three minutes. Do your best to focus on every moment of every breath. If your mind strays, refocus on your breath as soon as possible. Pay attention to details.”

For the next three exercises, Roger notes: “For every breathing exercise below, begin and end by comfortably observing the natural breath without trying to control it in

Roger Cole’s breathing exercises are reprinted with permission. All rights reserved. Copyright 2007-2013 by Roger Cole Ph.D. www.rogercoleyoga.com. We offer our deepest thanks to Roger for sharing his breathing exercises.

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Exercise 4. Isolating the Di- The Humming Breath better. You can use the Humming aphragm (developed by Leah Kalish ) is a Breath when you are feeling tired, great way for children to calm and cranky, frustrated, or over- “Lie on your back. Put one hand soothe themselves, giving them stimulated. on your belly below the navel, the that “everything is going to be other hand on the lower breast- OK” feeling. bone. Breathe quietly and keep the breath comfortable at all times, From a seated position, find the as in the Satisfying Breath points of the collarbones with exercise. Do not try to change the your fingers, then move down rate or depth of breathing in any slightly and find the two soft spots particular way, but allow only the above the sternum above your top Dr. Marjorie L. Rand has been a belly to rise and fall with the rib (lung points). With your thumb licensed psychotherapist for 35 years. inhalation and exhalation, with the and forefinger or middle finger She was initially a dancer and a least possible movement of the gently press or massage those two dance/movement therapist before she breastbone, while maintaining points. It should make you want to got her PhD. She is a trained Gestalt comfort. This breath uses the take a breath (because you are therapist, and a pioneer in the field of diaphragm almost exclusively. massaging near the carotid artery). body (somatic) psychotherapy. She Note that the diaphragm can also Put your left hand on your belly developed with Dr. Jack Rosenberg move the ribcage, but for this ex- just below the navel. Inhale deep- and taught Integrative Body Psycho- ercise we avoid ribcage movement ly and then exhale slowly with a therapy worldwide and was a founding member of the United States As- to ensure that the accessory mus- humming sound as you gently sociation for Body Psychotherapy. cles are not activated. By remain- move your eyes from left to right Marjorie is a long time student ing comfortable and breathing and back again, repeating the slow and practitioner of Yoga and is a cer- exclusively with the diaphragm, scan from side to side as you re- tified Supported Yoga therapist. we demonstrate that the lease all of the air in your lungs. Shehas written four books and pub- diaphragm alone can provide all Do not move your head, just your lished papers on body psychotherapy. the ventilation we need when we eyes. The latest in Defining Moments For are at rest. We also avoid possible Therapists was published April 19, stimulating effects on the body What It Does 2013. They can be found on her web- and brain that can be caused by site using the accessory muscles.” The deep breathing and pres- www.drrandbodymindtherapy.com or on Amazon.com sure point massage relaxes, while

And last, here is a useful the breathing exercise to balance the eye movement helps cross-motor ANS (particularly good with coordination so children (as well kids). as all ages) can think and feel

Leah Kalish: Many thanks to Leah for the Humming exercise and the graphic. For more Information http://www.move- with-me.com/

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Body Reading in Constellations Developmental Trauma & Family Constellations in Santa Barbara, CA Monthly Workshops or 6 Month Training June 1-2 or July 13-14, Sept 7-8, Oct 5-6, Nov 2-3, Nov 31-Dec 1, Jan 4-5 Join anytime Theme: The Body is the reservoir for somatic-based memories of Trauma that go back many generations. The hidden memories are locked in the fibers of our bodies. This 6 month segment will focus on how we carry historical amnesia in our bodies, how to recognize it & work with it through the Constellation Process. Themes: Trauma in nervous system, Bonding trauma & Attachment Issues. This Constellation approach is informed by Somatic Psychology. Facilitated by Dr. Dyrian Benz-Chartrand and JoAnna Chartrand-Benz. For more info contact: "Joanne Chartrand" [email protected] or go to : www.relationalconstellations.com Or www.embodiedpsychology.com

Parts Psychology by Jay Noricks, PhD, describes a model for therapy through direct work with the parts (self-states) of each client. The book shares many conceptual features of Ego State and IFS therapy. The core of the book contains the healing narratives for 12 patients who, except for the problems that brought them to therapy, lead relatively normal lives. Several chapters describe the treatment process for such problems of emotional intimacy as lost love, low sexual desire, jealousy, and sexual swinging. Others describe issues of compulsion such as binge eating, porn Active Play for Social-Emotional Learning addiction, and bulimia. Several chapters detail success stories in the treatment of anger and rage, depression, grief, and anxiety. Child abuse appears in the history of a number of patients. Each case narrative begins with the first meeting with the therapist and concludes when the patient graduates from therapy. Order from Amazon.com or see more at newuniversitypress.com/ parts-psychology/

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Charlie Blowers Jose Parra An Interview with Charlie Blowers

By Nancy Eichhorn

ur bodies reveal our unexpressed stories through facial expressions and gestures, O through patterned holdings and chronic pains, through gentle nuances and subtleties of movement occurring without conscious thought. To hear the body, one must speak its language. One must understand its consciousness to engage and encourage it to speak without fear and physiological response. Yet, the human body is often bound and gagged. It’s only form of expression is to use words for experiences that have no accurate semantic discourse and in the end belies the truer narrative of sensation and impulse.

So, then, how do you support a client’s body to both speak aloud and feel heard?

One way, according to Charlie Blowers, founder impressive foundation erected from an inherent need of Moving Pieces, is to integrate physical theater to know. As Blowers shared during a recent SKYPE with arts psychotherapy, creative writing, and body interview from her home in Central London, UK skills designed to stabilize the nervous system. The therapeutic model for Moving Pieces is informed by Blowers trained as an arts psychotherapist 20 the theoretical underpinnings of our social engage- years ago. She loved the work yet felt something ment system (Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory), was missing from the model—the body. Her movement oriented trauma work (Bessel van der involvement in theater arts and performance guided Kolk’s work with trauma and yoga), titration and her to Physical Theater where she discovered and response completion (Pat Ogden’s Sensorimotor devised ways to connect with sensation and impulse Psychotherapy), and Bodynamic Analysis with a in the body, and to notice and release patterns of ten- focus on both hyper and hypo-nervous system sion in the body. During training groups, she noticed responses to stress (Merete Holm Brantjberg’s work the therapeutic potential in Physical Theater work, in Denmark) as well as other body-based work. An particularly preparatory work involving grounding,

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centering, finding space in the mechanisms—ways to put on the memory is held in the body and body, as well as the potential of brakes—alongside deep explora- how explicit memory, (thoughts, this practice to regulate the nerv- tion?” memories and feelings) can be ous system. “As a performer my- articulated through language. self, I also feel there is healing “Dysregulation occurs in the potential in performance for both body, in the nervous system, as a We are interested in working the performer and those witness- result of traumatic experiences,” with both hyper arousal ing,” she said. This experiential Blowers continued. “I have (sympathetic activation) and hypo attended trainings connected to the arousal (parasympathetic activa- work in physical theater and ex- Trauma Centre in Boston with tion) in the musculature and nerv- ploration of body based psycho- Bessel van der Kolk and his team ous system as responses to stress, therapy served as a launch point (Heather Mason, The Minded and how these responses are re- for further research and develop- Institute) and learned how central flected in the body, in stories, and ment of the Moving Pieces thera- nervous system regulation is in our relating with each other. peutic model. essential to resolve these traumatic experiences and effectively use The Main Components of One main thread of thinking other therapeutic supports.” Moving Pieces guiding Blowers’ work was her primary question: ““How can I “Physical Theater helps you to Structure combine components to support a connect deeply to the body, to healing process that will involve detect and respond to sensations Moving Pieces is designed for both image and action-based and impulses in the body. In line groups of 12 to 16 people. Courses methods with ways of self- with Bessel’s yoga work experi- are structured over 8-weekly ses- regulating at the same time?” ences, Physical Theater offers sions or longer, week-long cours- ways to tolerate sensations and es, and weekends. Participants Blowers knew some of the po- integrate them. The movement is meet in a refurbished Victorian tential hazards in arts-based thera- present, here and now, bringing school building, a dance/theater peutic work such as patients get- muscles to a more neutral place so studio sense with open space and ting to unconscious material too the body is energetically more harlequin flooring. quickly before they had a chance available and able to balance the to digest it, to be with it. She nervous system. Simultaneously Blowers works with a wide wanted to support people to learn as muscles become more neutral, range of mental health challenges how to regulate their nervous sys- memories, sensations and impuls- as well as therapists and perform- tem, and then use this self- es previously held in muscle re- ers interested in devising work from a more personal point of regulation within a safe space to sponses begin to circulate.” Blow- view. There is also a non- go deeper, to dive into uncon- ers said. theatrical off-shoot of Moving sciousness, into implicit memory Pieces designed for one-to-one held via the imagination and bodi- A key component of the Moving work or smaller groups, working ly sensations. Pieces model is to connect to these with specific challenges such as bodily sensations and use them as anxiety, depression, PTSD. These “At theater school,” Blowers the basis for creating a story; a structured courses offer body said, “you do so much with the narrative which can be shared based strategies to rebalance the body and imagination that people initially, metaphorically, and then nervous system with facilitated can fall into crisis; and, vice a ver- as more direct resonances to life group process. Modules can also sa, just doing body-based work experience, as those experiences be custom made for specific you are not exploring imagination move into a more conscious awareness. This process of creat- needs such as conferences and and metaphor. There is such rich training programs. material in there, but how do you ing and sharing stories offers a bridge between how implicit put it together with safety Continued on page 30

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Assessment cortex activation), proprioceptive support from the group, partici- awareness, self-regulation, and pants were able to enact charged Regardless of the group size or social engagement, without parts of their story, rehearse alter- focus, an initial in-depth, participants even being aware of natives and complete actions that assessment is always conducted. it. may be habitually stuck. We also Blowers and her co-facilitator, Jo- invited participants to look for se Parra, screen participants to de- Connection to Implicit Memory polarities in the story and a termine what they are interested potential dialogue that may exist in, why they are coming, and what As a sense of community and between them. This exploration is mental health and physical safety evolves, Blowers and Parra deepened by creating masks for challenges are present. This infor- begin to use further exercises that each of the polarities and mation guides the status of the combine self-regulation and body embodying them; finding the work as they begin to teach/guide awareness. Movements become masks within the masks. These participants how to focus on reg- subtle, connected closely to sen- kinds of activities gradually sup- ulating the body. Different move- sations and impulses in the body. port a more conscious awareness ment exercises are used, which are Participants learn how to do a of and integration of conflicting “not too dry,” and are embedded body scan—to notice different aspects of experience,” Blowers in theatrical and body based work, sensations and the impulses that said. such as grounding, centering and naturally arise in the body. lifting/ lowering the nervous sys- During the workshop, Blowers tem. “Implicit memory is stored in said that participants organically the limbic system. The body scan arrive at comments such as, “Ah Social Engagement / supports people becoming aware this reminds me of something in Regulation of and tolerating different sensa- my life,” or “this reminds me of tions in the body. We then direct- something I’m confronting in my An early goal is to create the ex- ly convert sensation and impulse life,” and “I couldn’t get it in perience of feeling connected with into imagery by spontaneously therapy but this is what’s going the group dynamic. One exercise going into creating masks and/or on.” comes from a circus skill that writing a story, either a legend or involves balancing a peacock a fairy tale. We stay with meta- feather on the palm of your hand. phor, with figurative language The process generally makes peo- within the narrative, and this be- ple laugh as they try something comes a launch point for people to totally outside of their regular ex- begin deeper work,” Blowers said. perience, Blowers said. Imagine 16 overly large feathers drifting Enactment about until the participants learn to keep the feather straight when “During our last open group they release it with the steadying participants created masks and hand and keep their focus on the then had the opportunity to do a eye of the feather. Once the skill is writing improvisation from the mastered, participants are directed point of view of the mask. They to engage with others, a dance of later stepped into their stories sort results as they begin to feel giving focus to the most charged safe within this fun and playful part of the story—the part that contact. During this playful they were most attracted to or interlude, executive functioning repelled by. We trust the psyche activities are occurring (prefrontal

and where it is drawn. With Balancing a peacock feather

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Assimilation learning to fine tune the process For others, as with other constella- and support its fluidity and flexi- tion-based work, the process con- “There is an organic moving out bility. tinues on beyond the end of the of metaphor into a more direct course, as insights gradually filter experience a the group process “One thing we learned while down into a more conscious develops. Participants are wo rking with open groups with a awareness,” Blowers said. supported when they do make more normalized neurotic sense personal, more literal connections, such as therapists and performers but there is no pressure to pace is to resist reflecting in a thought- with what others are doing,” based way too early on,” Blowers Charlie Blowers trained at I.A.T.E. Blowers said. said. We invite participants to al- in 1992 and is a UKCP registered low themselves to get lost; to dis- psychotherapist and clinical supervi- Closure cover new territory. Participants sor with 18 years experience of work- who are not used to noticing and ing with individuals with emotional and behavioral difficulties in the UK Much time is devoted to connecting to sensations may not and US. Since 2009, she has worked reflection at the end, which var- recognize where they are going at in collaboration with the London In- ies depending on the group times but are invited to tolerate ternational School of Performing Arts that we are working with. One that just enough to experience developing the Integral Theatre Peda- option offered is for participants some new ground and move a bit gogy aspect of the school. to use the raw material from their further along in their journey.” process of exploration and create an improvised presentation to the “It is quite a different journey, Jose Parra studied mime and phys- group. This can range from cre- and people often leave with clear ical theater at Desmond Jones and the ating an installation of the work insight about their lives. One International School of Corporeal they have generated to devising a participant said that she had never Mime. He has devised performances for adults and children for the street theatrical presentation based on felt her nervous system regulated and stage in UK, Spain, France, Nor- the life of their masks, written before; she didn’t know what it way, Kuwait, and Jordan. He also stories and installations of the was like to feel regulated in her works for the Theodora Children’s landscapes their stories are held body, to digest what was happen- Trust as a clown doctor in hospitals in. As part of closing, ing in the body at the limbic level. in the UK. participants can also relate to installations of their work and make decisions about what they want to take away with them and what they may wish to leave behind.” Blowers said.

Continued Growth

Moving Pieces has been up and running for three years. The research phase took about five years as Blowers explored and experienced possible components. The process has been and continues to be revised. Blowers explained that after each workshop, she and Parra review feedback from participants as well as their own observations. Their goal is to integrate what they are Participants at a Moving Pieces workshop Somatic Psychotherapy Today | Spring 2013 | Volume 3 Number 1 | page 31

Cover photograph©David Douglas Duncan Harry Ransom Center (HRC) The University of Texas at Austin

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A Hellish Place of Angels A Writer’s Journey By Daryl J. Eigen

www.ahellishplaceofangels.com

riting my book, A Hellish Place of Angels, was a fourteen year jour- W ney. It began in 1998 when my Mother gave me letters I had sent home from Vietnam. She had saved the letters all those years. To honor my Mother and her care of these letters, I decided to read them and preserve them somehow. Slowly, day by day and sometimes month by month, I confronted the letters. I had trouble remembering many parts of my time in Vietnam. So I researched my war experience in the library microfiche and archive files of magazines and newspapers of the time. Later I researched the Internet for more material. By that time I had the basis of a book. I forged a unique and compelling narrative arc consisting of my letters home, relevant historical references, and memories. I wanted to capture that time and tell the whole story. I wanted to understand what my family had gone through; I wanted to get well and be whole; and I wanted to help other vets.

But the focus on the past activated my chronic PTSD and drove me to panic. I sought therapy. The VA provided safe, structured, therapeutic sessions to effectuate my lost experiences. Multiple exposures to the recollections of the trauma helped me to fill in the blanks and to reduce the emotional charge of certain memories. The labor of recall and writing was a struggle to rid myself of the demons of war and give voice to the forgotten and the fallen.

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Exposure Therapy much is recounted in the book. knowledge of the location of land Continued exposure to the mines. The Con Thien firebase and We walked in a spread-out col- traumatic events is supposed to the surroundings had been heavily umn with flanking elements. We help. I trust that one day it will. mined by the French, the Vietnam- walked using extra care and con- ese, and us to secure the cern as if every one of us was on Return to Vietnam perimeters. Many of the mines point. We walked as if it was our were still there and active; others last moment on Earth. The air was In 1999, about a year after I had been discovered or accidentally laden with fear and expectation. It received the letters, my wife of a exploded by hapless farmers. just felt wrong. I heard the crunch few weeks, Lucy, and I took our of the gravel road under my boot. I honeymoon in Asia. It included a The guide swore that he knew tried to hold down the nauseating stop in Vietnam. The goal was to where the land mines were, famous and persistent idea of what a wrong visit Con Thien, the northern most last words. We took a car as far as move it was. Marine firebase just south of the we could, then we walked. Lucy, DMZ (the not so Demilitarized who is intuitive and smart, said she Before getting very far, there was Zone). I was there in September of could go no further feeling the pain a large explosion at the front of the 1967 when Con Thien had of the many souls that occupy Con column. And so it began. experienced the worst of the Vi- Thien, the so called ‘Place of The air was filled with yells, etnam War and perhaps equivalent Angels’. The guide and I walked screams, and whistles. Pandemoni- to the worst of any war. I wanted to on. I started sweating and getting um broke out as the little brown- somehow find fragments of myself that bad feeling again. We ended clad men pierced our column in that I seemingly misplaced in the up at a burnt concrete remnant of many places. I saw a stream of brutal battles of Con Thien. an old French fort which I did not NVA—North Vietnamese Army— recall. After surviving Con Thien up the road over-run a portion of Soon after we arrived, we hired a and the DMZ battles, I was now the column. One Marine was firing guide who was known for his afraid again. his rifle but was not pointing it. He was just shooting into the ground. I yelled at him to shoot. He went down instead. A Marine ran by me with his hand held high, screaming, “My hand, my hand!” I stopped him and looked through his hand and saw the battlefield through the hole. I told him he would live and wrapped his hand in my last battle dressing.

I was breathing very hard and shaking.

My VA therapist for PTSD said, “You can relax now; take some deep breaths, and slowly open your eyes. We will do more next time.” There was a lot more to do. I had experienced some of the worst Vietnam had to offer and

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I looked at the guide, and he had stopper. If the topic came up, peo- not the social, political, or histori- a sick green look of deep visceral ple asked me if I killed anyone. cal truth but inner truth. In many fear, and I wanted to go, go The unavoidable, unfortunate fact ways Vietnam is the perfect war for anywhere. He was hesitant and is that I killed. For this I am filled this endeavor, precisely because it looked confused. I got worried and with deep, profound regret even was the wrong war for the wrong the bile went into my mouth. I though it was war. reasons, at least for our side or at nervously said, "You don't know least for me. where you are going, do you?" He Beneath this regret there was a was silent and kept looking for the fog that covered the horror. The dark, bleeding suffering of path out. I felt like I was in an ele- Beneath the horror was a sea of Vietnam provides the essence of vator free-falling. After all I had tears that I began to access as I read what war is because it is not hidden survived under impossible odds, I the letters. Beyond the deep sad- by a noble cause, not shrouded by was about to be blown to bits in the ness, I started to realize I had righteousness, and not cleansed by same place from which I had locked away some of the most victory. By exposing my escaped. The irony was palpable. powerful experiences and lessons experience in Vietnam to the light of my life and had failed to of awareness, I hope to help further Suddenly, when the guide was integrate them. I pushed down, heal myself and possibly help about to experiment with a new stuffed, and buried the reality of others heal from the afflictions of direction, a single bell clanked, war and what I had experienced as violent struggle. a young man. then another. It was a cow bell. Over the rise came a little angelic A successful life and career were girl herding one cow. She smiled testimony to my having seemingly the most beatific smile. The guide recovered from the war, but I had asked her how to get safely back to done so at the expense of a very the path. She apparently said she Daryl Eigen Ph.D. was a Combat Marine in important part of myself. Now I see an infantry battalion in Vietnam. He was would lead us back. We closely that I was deeply damaged by the awarded three purple hearts from wounds sus- followed the little angel of Con tained from three different engagements with war, and my haunting dreams ruled Thien to safety and each clang of the enemy. He participated in over twelve oper- the day and the night. Except for ations against enemy forces. He was honorably the bell reminded me of the fallen. my children and wife Lucy, the discharged in November 1968. I was grateful to be given another material success of my postwar life chance to live. I now know another Daryl holds a bachelor’s in Psychology and a now seems of minor significance master’s degree in Electrical Engineering from reason why it is called the Place of when compared to what I found out the University of Wisconsin–Milwaukee. He Angels. received a Ph.D. in Engineering from North- in the war about myself, life, and western University under a Bell Labs scholar- God. Brotherhood and solidarity ship. He joined Bell Labs as a Member of Later, when the magic wore off, with my comrades-in-arms forged Technical Staff, where he created several popu- my mind and body re-experienced lar telephone services such as Calling Card under the threat of death, and the prickly heat, fungal itching, and Service. worse horrible disfigurement, made crushing weight of the radio I car- normal relationships far from ade- He has authored more than twenty papers in a ried on my back when I was at war. variety of publications. He enjoyed a corporate quate. Apparently I was not ready This trip reminded me of all I had career and held a number of senior positions, to understand what I’d learned until such as Senior Vice President of the Interna- to live for as well as stirring mem- I began writing the book 30 years tional division of a Fortune 500 company and ories and emotions stored in my CEO of several venture-funded high-tech com- later. body, mind, and soul. panies.

With war and violence still a After his corporate career he obtained a second Spiritual Journey very prominent feature in everyday master’s degree in Transpersonal Psychology from Sofia University in Palo Alto, CA, and a events, I decided to make the inte- 500-hour registered yoga instructor certifica- After my return to Vietnam, I gration of my war experience part tion from Mount Madonna Center in Wat- did not talk about the war. For dec- of my spiritual quest. With this in- sonville, CA. For several years he contributed ades just the spoken word his time, training, and efforts as a yoga teacher tention I faced my feelings and to DePaul, a low-income alcohol and drug “Vietnam” would be a conversation memories to wring out the truth— rehabilitation center in Portland, OR that serves

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Jacqueline A. Carleton, PhD and the USABP Interns

approaches the handbook provides ing overviews of the various top- for treatment. ics. By addressing the latest literature related to traumatic stress disorders, the authors provide a researched outlook, kept understand- able by subheadings within chapters and sections. Abstracts before each chapter also aid in the inter- pretation of the articles by giving a short summary and indicating key words to focus on while reading. Healing War Trauma By perusing the handbook or reading specific chapters, both profes-

Edited by M.R. Scurfield & K. T. sionals and interested readers will Platoni, 2013 find The Oxford Handbook of The Oxford Handbook of New York, NY: Routledge. ISBN: Traumatic Stress Disorders to be Traumatic Stress Disorders 978-0-415-63777-0. 318 Pages. useful for gaining understanding of Reviewed by: Michael Thomas, New York University Edited by J. G. Beck & D. M. traumatic stress disorders in a well- Sloan, 2012 ordered format. Methods of helping war veterans New York, NY: Oxford University with psychological trauma have Press ISBN: 0-19539-906-4 Reviewed by: Michael become extremely relevant in re- Thomas, New York University cent times. Healing War Trauma offers a compilation of new ideas and methods, presenting them in a The Oxford Handbook of Traumat- fashion organized by the type of ic Stress Disorders presents a sys- technique – ranging from techno- tematic yet comprehensive over- logical and web-based approaches view of the history, theories, evalu- to animal assisted and outdoor ap- ation, prevention, and treatment of proaches. Part 1 opens the book traumatic stress disorders. As a with survival tactics that can be compilation of the works of vari- used once a veteran returns home, ous contributors, this guide from Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal: A while parts II-VI list and explain the Oxford Handbooks series pro- Guide for Prescribers, Thera- both new and traditional therapeu- vides a variety of opinions and pists, Patients, and their Families tic approaches for helping veterans methods with regard to traumatic with psychological war trauma. stress disorders, allowing the reader ease of access to an orderly and Written by P. Breggin, 2013 The last section, part VII, aims to Odenton, MD: Gasch Printing. explore methods that relieve guilt neutral introduction to the topic. ISBN: 978-8261-0843-2. 310 pages and shame related to war trauma. The sectioned format of the hand- Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, Both therapists and veterans can book enables both experts and New York University benefit from the sectioned layout those with an interest in the field, of Healing War Trauma and the exposure to concise, yet enlighten- This book was designed to help

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children, dependent adults, adults Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, New The Attachment Therapy Com- who are emotionally or cognitive- York University panion: Key Practices for Treat- ly impaired, and the elderly who ing Children and Families may be going through psychiatric Ana Gomez was inspired to write Written by A. Becker-Weidman, withdrawal. It consists of sections this book by her experience work- L. Ehrmann, & D. H. LeBow, specific to each group listed and ing with troubled children, adoles- 2012 how they might go about dealing cents, and adults. Her patients’ New York, NY: W.W. Norton with psychiatric drug withdrawal. pain and suffering drove her to and Company. ISBN: 978-0-393-70748- Breggin explains in his Preface seek further knowledge on the use 9. 226 pages. of EMDR therapy. This book was Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, that this book was also written for New York University designed to provide readers with a prescriber audience. There are tangible strategies that make instances during his practice What started out as a project of EMDR therapy effective with where he may recommend a dos- the Association for Treatment and children who possess complex age reduction or to not use medi- Training in the Attachment of trauma, a key feature being that cation at all. Prescribers may not Children (ATTACH) quickly this is an area that has never been necessarily agree with these strate- blossomed into this book. Since its discussed before in EMDR litera- gies, but they can still learn from first publication in 2009, there ture. There are real-life cases pre- Breggin’s perspective. This book have been a number of advances sented throughout the book to il- reviews a wide range of topics rel- in the treatment of complex trau- lustrate the appropriate use of ative to psychiatric drugs from ma and disorders of attachment. strategies given in this volume. why psychiatric drug withdrawal The study guide, or Appendix D, One important goal of this book is occurs to how to wean oneself off of this version has undergone ex- to draw from other therapeutic the addiction. Statistical facts are pansion in order to act more as a approaches, such as play therapy, provided throughout to describe teacher to readers. The authors sandtray therapy, Sensorimotor death rates and support infor- have also included more recent Psychotherapy, Theraplay, and mation on specific drugs. It also research and materials about com- Internal Family Systems (IFS) and contains advice for the families of plex trauma, the neurodevelop- combine them with compatible those who may be suffering a mental treatment implications of EMDR treatment to create a com- withdrawal, as well as the actual trauma, and new treatment infor- prehensive solution. Gomez be- individuals. mation that describes, in attach- lieves that EMDR therapy is best ment theory terms, the phases of used when the EMDR clinician treatment within a relational mod- has exceptional knowledge of all el. This book speaks mainly to its aspects, which is exactly what mental health professionals, such this book gives to readers. as social workers, psychologists,

mental health counselors, etc.,

with a framework to assess devel-

opment, and evaluate treatment

plans. Its main goal is to provide

readers with the necessary infor-

mation to feel confident enough to

administer treatment in a compre-

EMDR Therapy and Adjunct hensive manner. It also contains

Approaches with Children: core principles of attachment-

Complex Trauma, Attachment, focused therapy, trauma-focused and Dissociation therapy, a synopsis of attachment

theory and styles, and also treat-

Written by A. Gomez, 2013 ment planning and behavior man- New York, NY: Springer Pub- lishing Company. ISBN: 978-0-8261- agement.

0697-1. 344 pages.

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procedures on how to overcome Neurobiology Essentials for Cli- anxiety, superego resistance, and nicians: What Every Therapist transference resistance, and de- Needs to Know scribe the significance and details of the emotional dynamics be- By A. Montgomery, 2013 tween the therapist and the client. New York, NY: W. W. Norton & Company, Inc. ISBN: 978-0-393- 70602-4. 332 pages. ISTDP is a joint effort between the therapist and the client, and Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, New must be faced with an open and York University honest mind. Engaging in ISTDP demands moment-to-moment as- sessments and decisions, the ther- Mastering Intensive Short-term apist must be intellectually curious This book best serves therapists Dynamic Psychotherapy and flexible and strive to do his or interested in understanding and her best in analyzing the patient, integrating the neurobiological By J. Ten Have-de Labije & R. however not aiming for a perfec- theory and data relevant to clinical Neborsky, 2012 tionist ideal. This type of therapy practice. It is composed of a London, England: Karnac is fast-paced and requires the ther- Books Ltd. ISBN: 978-1-85575-821-6. variety of different clinical en- apist's accuracy, acuteness, and counters, which have been broken 416 pages. insight. down into reader-friendly sections

Reviewed by: Amanda Fisher, explaining neurobiological The authors focus on the role, New York University information in close detail. experience, and knowledge of the Montgomery stresses the fact that therapist; they stress that becom- neurobiology affects every ing an ISTDP therapist, or any In Mastering Intensive Short-term interaction humans have, and how kind of therapist, can take a Dynamic Psychotherapy, Josette knowledge of the topic can allow lifetime of practice. One can Ten Have-de Labije and Robert J. therapists to shape clinical interac- always improve from both acquir- Neborsky give practical, detailed tions and provide a healthy, safe ing knowledge and gaining guidelines for intensive short-term environment for their patients. understanding through experience. dynamic psychotherapy. One of The book is divided into eight What makes therapy such a the main goals in ISTDP is chapters, each of which highlights difficult profession is that every forming an alliance between the a specific section of the brain. client is unique and has specific conscious and unconscious parts What makes this book stand out needs that must be tailored to. of the mind. Emotional regulation from others of its kind is the Therapy is not a standardized is key. Usually, when patients clinical dialogue interwoven with system, and as a result the ther- begin ISTDP, they are struggling neurobiological commentary. This apist needs a lot of experience and with emotional regulation. allows readers to be easily guided good intuition. The therapist is Addressing previous criticism through complex neurobiological also a person, living in the same about the abstract nature of their concepts, as well as clinical world as the client; he needs to methodology, the authors offer narrative. Although this book is balance being able to relate and concrete instructions as well as directed mainly at clinicians, an- being professional. This book clinical examples. They provide yone interested in the appli- offers ways to be present with the explanations of necessary basic cation of neurobiological princi- self and the client making it a knowledge (such as neural ples to psychotherapy will find good reference for clinicians. systems), step-by-step this useful.

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and instead turning towards spirit- Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, New uality and a term that he has York University coined “meaning-making”, we can make better sense of our mental Written and self-published by two health issues. Taking a step closer incredibly determined psycholo- to a god—it does not have to be gists, Frances Sommer Anderson God, but rather any spiritual figure and Eric Sherman, this ebook’s that one believes in—will bring main objective is to teach people one a step closer to healing. This how to find relief from chronic book gives a detailed description pain. It is based upon the pioneer- of the types of mental health is- ing work of John E. Sarno, M.D., sues that he fears are on the in- a retired professor of Rehabilita- Gods and Diseases: Making crease and also covers different tion Medicine at New York Uni- Sense of Our Physical and Men- kinds of gods and how one can versity School of Medicine. Dr. tal Wellbeing become spiritually closer to a Sarno pioneered the idea that a higher power in order to heal. wide variety of pain disorders are By David Tacey, 2013 of psychophysiological origin. New York, NY: Routledge: Pathways to Pain Relief What sets this ebook apart from Taylor & Francis Group. ISBN: 978- 0- others of its kind is that it embrac- 415-52063-8. 260 pages. es the position that musculoskele-

tal pain and other psychophysio- Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, New logic disorders can originate from York University psychological experiences as a

mean to protect individuals from David Tacey argues that in to- unbearable emotional distress. It is day’s society there are many prob- written for readers of all sorts— lems that cannot be solved by the whether a clinician seeking to help application of reason, logic, or patients or a patient seeking to medicine. Alcoholism, suicide, better help themself. The ebook drug addiction, and child abuse contains a full introduction by are only a few. Many mental each author and their own separate health problems are on the rise, sections. Upon finishing this such as depression, phobia, and ebook, you will have gained an anxiety, with no clear solution in By F. Anderson, & E. Sherman, entire new take on the field of sight. In his book, Tacey explains 2013 mindbody medicine. that by leaving behind the con- Publisher: Authors. ISBN: 978- fines of conventional medicine 0-615-75785-8. 157 pages.

The Way of the 4th Toe into the Feeling Body three simple adjustments that anyone is capable of. By J. Werner, 2011 These adjustments allow one to find the connection Bloomington, IN: iUniverse, Inc. between the body and the mind. They can be taken as ISBN: 978-1-4620-2780-4. 61 pages. far as one is willing to commit. Bodily stress can lead

to mental stress, and vice versa. By allowing one’s Reviewed by: Rachel Vitale, New York University most unconscious feelings to emerge, one will also

feel the psyche travel through the interplay of mus- This book is about the art of movement. Wiener, a cles. Readers who attempt this method will hopefully psychoanalyst, strongly believes in experiencing the be left with a feeling of satisfaction and self- body and movement as a form or treatment. He opens discovery. There are several layers to this manual, with a description of his own journey into movement, which will be helpful to those who are in search of including a recollection of his dance history. Dance is finding and strengthening their own body-mind con- what led him to the interplay of muscles, which are nection.

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Somatic Expressions

Featuring Diane Doheny M.Ed.

DRAWN FROM THE DARKEST, MOST ISOLATED SPACE IN MY SOUL , BY A LIGHT AND INVISIBLE PRESENCE THAT EMERGED , THROUGH A THRESHOLD OF HOPE.

Diane Doheny M.Ed. has a private counseling practice called Family Connections. She lives and practices in Exeter, NH. She is working on a meditative, photographic journal to guide readers into the tranquil spaces of spiritual connection, entitled, Moments Like This, to be released in the near future.

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CONSCIOUS AWARENESS IS THE COMPASS THAT DIRECTS OUR STEPS AND OPENS OUR EYES TO THE EVERYDAY MIRACLES FOUND ON OUR PATH.

THE ONENESS

THE WITH-IN-NESS AND THE SOURCE THAT IS REFLECTED IN OUR BODY, OUR MIND AND OUR SPIRIT.

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An Intimate Portrait of my Journey through Grief:

How do I Regulate Through the Turbulence?

By Isabelle Tierney

M y brother passed away eight days after my mother died. While her death came as a relief – she struggled with Alzheimer’s for years—his came as a shock, one of my favorite people in the world was stolen away when I least expected it. I thought I knew about grief’s journey having worked with it as a therapist for almost 20 years. Instead, I learned that the process is unpredictable and humbling, and that I know next to nothing about its meanderings, that I can sometimes skillfully regulate it and sometimes not, and that there are times that I can do nothing to control it, with something beyond my conscious self taking it over and regulating it.

Skillful regulating my edges again and again, forging prevents a destructive acting-out, me into someone new. Sometimes, as it knows that I will relate to it There are times when I feel an I can only grip my husband’s hand, again. ocean of grief deep in my body and waiting for the experience to pass, can expertly regulate, diving into it just as I held onto his hand through Unskillful regulating at times and inhibiting it when the births of my three children. necessary. The ocean fills my tor- There are times when I also navi- so, spanning the expanse of my When I choose to inhibit the gate through less successful ways heart, solar plexus and abdomen. ocean, I can leave it at the edge of of regulating my emotions. Alt- The mass of energy feels dense, my consciousness, knowing it’s hough I thought that I was “over” heavy, and oddly alive, as though it there, but staying away from it so I those ways, I have sometimes holds its own consciousness. I feel can function in my daily life. found myself smack-dab in the it waiting for me, not necessarily There are times I stay away middle of them, using numbing and impatiently, but definitely firmly. because of external demands–I distraction as my tools of choice. Sometimes I am willing to answer have to see six clients or want to go When I choose to numb, I use its call. Sometimes I’m not. to my son’s basketball game. At external substances to push the other times, I stay away from it ocean away. In those moments, I When I choose to dive into the because I know that I don’t have am clear that I’m scared to surren- ocean, I tumble into a wild and the resources in that moment to der to my emotions, and I just stormy ride. I ride wave after wave take the plunge. This inhibition is don’t want to. This is an active of sorrow, anger, and helplessness, different than resistance. With rejection of my emotions, an acting using only my breath to stay afloat. resistance, I push the ocean away. out that works temporarily but bites I don’t know when the ride will With inhibition, I make a conscious me in the behind soon after. end and who I will be when choice to step away, not because I Carbohydrates become my best dumped back on shore. Sometimes, am rejecting anything, but because friends, as does the one lemon drop I can stay present through every I am being loving to myself. This I make myself at night, right after wave, watching each slam against allows the ocean to trust me and my last appointment, right before

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a few hours of reality TV. The food what is happening, scrambling engage with others, to laugh, to and the alcohol somehow create an painful facts before they can reach move my body. This feels good. energetic barrier against the ocean my consciousness. My brother is And though I don’t know what the mass, a blissful respite from its dead, you say? I literally have no next moment might bring, whether exhausting demands. clue what that means. It makes no I will move into difficult emotions, sense. active numbing, or frozenness, I When I choose to distract myself, trust that I’ll be able to be with I use my mind’s brilliant creativity This state is different than numb- whatever arises. My only job will to focus my thoughts on matters ing. I’m not DOING anything to be to bring compassionate aware- that have nothing to do with the get away from feeling. I’m not ness to it all, knowing that this is fact that my mother and brother pushing away, rejecting, actively the only way I can ever truly regu- have just died. I worry about my using behaviors to not feel. This is late anything. yard, about the woodpecker peck- beyond me. This is my psyche, my ing at my walls. I worry about my deeper body, my unconscious self, car, wondering how much longer it regulating my life because I some- can stay alive (!). I worry about how need it to. It is mercifully my son’s college possibilities. I preventing me from putting For more information contact Isabelle worry about the weather. The men- together the puzzle pieces of my at www.isabelletierney.com tal distractions shift my attention current reality. It is kindly making Isabelle Tierney, M.A., LMFT, towards more mundane matters, me leave my body and mind rather CSPT, BHS, is a licensed marriage human concerns that somehow feel than staying. Where am “I”? I do and family therapist who holds an safer than death. not know. M.A. from Tufts University in Child Development, and a certificate in I wish numbing and distracting I am grateful for this “beyond- Brennan Healing Science. She’s been worked in the long-run. Unfortu- me” regulation. I surmise that this in private practice internationally nately, choosing not to feel grief is the same place that sheltered me since 1996 with a strong specialty in also prevents me from feeling love, when I experienced abuse as a eating disorders (including anorexia, joy, laughter. When I’m in re- child, the place that wouldn’t let bulimia, binge eating) and other pain- sistance, I don’t want to connect to me truly see was happening in my ful habits and addictions such as drugs, alcohol, overworking, and anyone. I only want to hibernate. household because there was compulsive shop-ping. She has creat- And when I do manage to feel nothing I could do about it. This is ed Soul Food, a line of products of- something, when a wave manages the place that allows so many of us fering content-rich and digestible les- to rise in spite of my best intent, it to survive what sometimes seems sons for those who struggle with food shows up in distorted and uncon- untenable to the psyche, that and body image issues as well as trollable ways. I burst out crying if protects us from breaking into a those who struggle with relationship one of my kids isn’t perfectly kind million pieces from the pain of it issues. Isabelle works with individu- to me. I want to wail in despair if all. It is a brilliant place. I have no als, couples, families, and groups. my husband leaves to the gym control over it. I can only trust that She is a certified yoga teacher, and without me. I feel anxiety or irrita- it will wane when it’s ready to incorporates somatic principles to tion for no “real” reason. wane, that I need to be with it until help clients re-enter their bodies and discover the freedom and joy of being it’s not. embodied. I Don’t Know Who is Regulating Surrendering to Life as a Way to Isabelle practices both in her Boulder, There are times in the grieving Regulate CO office and through long-distance process when I’m in control of programs. Additionally, she travels the nothing, regulating nothing, feeling As I finish this article on a sunny country leading workshops and speak- nothing. I’m in a frozen state, a no spring morning, I notice tendrils of ing for audiences on topics such as -man’s land, separate from my pleasurable sensations moving eating disorders, stress, and addiction. body, unable to connect to any through my body. I feel delight at Isabelle lives in beautiful Boulder, CO sensations. My brain doesn’t work the bunnies right outside my with her husband and three wonderful either, incapable of understanding window. I feel a wave of desire to children.

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The Co-Creative Power of Mind in Somatic Regulation and Creative Expression

By Jane E. Latimer

The following is a lesson I give to the emotional eating students who participate in my Nourishing the Hungry Soul 12-week program. The first assignment they receive is basic belly breathing. The idea is to get them trained in slowing their breath and connecting with their bodies. After they have engaged in a week of belly breathing, I introduce the concept of regulating the mind by observing it and choosing to engage in positivity vs. negative self-talk. This practice has been one of the key practices I engaged in to heal my own eating disorder, body image, and scarcity thinking. Over the years, through practicing these two simple tools (belly breathing and gratitude), I’ve managed to take control of an out-of-control life, heal a raging eating disorder, and engage in friendships and a style of living that had been previously out of reach. The idea of practicing an ongoing ritual of celebration expanded my heart and trained my body to release old stories and patterns of collapse and overwhelm. The following is the lesson I share with my students in their second week of training.

Cultural Mores Impact Our Thoughts culture (profoundly wounded) has brainwashed us into believing that to be happy we must place productivity, You may have noticed that when you slow down economic growth, material wealth, and success above and focus on your breathing or hang out in your Inner all else. As a result, the path of the whole person Sacred Space, your chatter-mind, small-mind, ego- (which includes the sacred feminine and intuitive mind, or negative-mind (four ways of describing the subconscious) has been repressed. As a people, we are same mind) has less power. The fact that you’ve profoundly unhappy because we have disconnected focused your awareness on a positive or neutral aspect ourselves from that which gives life real meaning and of yourself has a lot to do with why you feel better joy—the creative, communal, and playful alignment when you do these exercises. The mind is powerful— with life’s mysterious unfoldings. very powerful. In fact, the mind is so powerful that until we become vigilant about observing it, managing It is within the realm of the creative that we must it, and creating with it, we will feel like a ‘victim’ ra- learn to dwell to discover and recover the true power ther than the powerful co-creator of our lives. of the mind. For, it is within our imagination and dreams that we create our lives. As John Perkins We’ve been brainwashed to revere the small-mind’s writes in his book, The World as Y ou Dream logic. Our schools tell us to think hard, focus on facts It (1994): and numbers, calculate and analyze so that we may dominate and conquer our natural world. Raised in an “As infants we enjoy an intimacy with everything economic system that has skewed sacred values of around us: tiny stones, butterflies, flowers, birds, ani- giving and receiving, of operating in harmony with mals both stuffed and real. We live in a world of beau- nature and life’s mysterious rhythms, our ‘mentalizer’ ty and imagination. Ecstasy comes easily. We feel at

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Growing into childhood, we begin As adults living in a society that My Story to understand the power of the has sacrificed the intuitive right dream, of fairy tales and myths; brain in favor of the rational, we My eating disorder thrived in a we know that dreams come true suffer all sorts of mind-induced culture that creates and ironically and that many different parallel illness. The enormous energetic supports addiction and eating worlds exist simultaneously. The power that is available to us disorders more than its artists and past, the future, the present: these through the world of the healers. The world of our glamour are meaningless to us, for we have subconscious—our dreams, sens- magazine, diet food industry and the ability to blend them into one. es, images, movements and media messages to buy more, eat We can be anything we want at sound—is repressed and held in a more, diet more, be more, produce any time. All we have to do is variety of mass-induced illnesses, and strive for more, combined dream it, and it will happen. We addiction, violence and with my alienated nuclear family can drift into another world and pornography. Repression of whole and meaningless school out again whenever we so desire. -body expression limits our ability experiences produced a child per- to access the fullness of our sub- fectly equipped to negate her own Then, at some point in our lives, conscious truth. Imagine a whole value as a spiritual being and that awareness changes. Adults ocean of creative life-force with creative soul. The trauma of being convince us that we are not all nowhere to go—all squeezed and so estranged and disconnected one. They teach us how to sep- scrunched into the tiniest filter of from life’s true purpose and mean- arate and alienate ourselves from rational thought— and we end up ing can’t survive without costing one another and from the world with a vast reservoir of life-energy all of us. around us. To describe our paral- turned inward on itself in negative lel worlds, they spit out phrases self-hatred. When a whole culture After many years of struggling, such as ‘unhealthy daydreaming’ is stripped of its life-giving energy and seeking to find me, to fill the and ‘crazy flights of fantasy’ as to imagine, dream, and create, it emptiness that was experienced as though the very words threaten to has no choice but to follow the the core of me—a middle-class contaminate their lips. They warn narrow dreams of those who are product of soul-less glamour and us that to continue in our old ways the robotic subjects of an superficial striving—I began to will be “immature and impracti- economic system that support it. see through the lies that the cal” (p. xv). dreams of our culture channeled “In Java and Egypt, Sulawesi and through me. Mexico, I witnessed time and again the power certain individu- I had much to learn about heal- als have in altering perceptions ing, about the mind and body, and and, in so doing, changing peo- about how to recapture my true ple’s lives. These individuals took Self. My first teachers taught me many forms: tribal chieftains, that “Thought Directs Energy and magicians, dancers, Dalang pup- that Energy Follows Thought.” pet masters, priests, firewalkers, And although I have come to un- politicians, and healers. In my derstand this axiom at deeper and own country, the most influential deeper levels, even the simplest wore business suits, read the Wall level of this truth pointed me in Street Journal, and invested bil- the direction of true power. It was lions of dollars each year in ad- the beginning of my ability to gain vertising. Whatever their appear- some control over my out-of- ance or title, they all had one control life. thing in common: their power came from their ability to mold First I had to learn to control dreams” (Perkins, 1994, p. xiv). my negative mind. Through practicing “Thought Directs Energy. Energy Follows Thought.”

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observation and detachment, I gained control. As I learned to witness, healing took place, and soon I was able to redirect the power of my mind by aligning it with my heart. As my heart path grew, the liberation of my inner Divine Magical Child brought forth a new dream—a desire to explore the healing powers of creativity.

As I look back on my life, I am amazed at the direct connection my thinking process had on the circumstances of my life. My ear- liest memory is one of standing in front of the mirror looking at the body I hated. I stared directly at my ugly body and said, “I love you.” My spiritual teacher had told me to do this, so, being the good student I was, I did it. Did I want to do it? No. Did I believe what I was doing was going to changes my body has gone Our physical world, which we work? No. Did I feel like a liar? through, I love myself and my perceive as solid, is not. On an Yes. body more than ever. atomic level, we’re mostly empty space. To understand just how That was it! That is what I did, Manifestation much space we are, imagine a one time a day for about one year. grain of sand in Carnegie Hall. Then I woke up one morning, and Quantum physics and biochemi- That grain of sand is the nucleus I didn’t hate myself anymore. cal science now explain this phe- of the atom and the rest of And through the years, despite the nomenon we call manifestation. Carnegie Hall is the space within Evidently, when we think some- the atom. Most of the grain of thing, we summon forth a cluster sand is empty also. It is made up of photons (the smallest known of forces of light energy. unit of light) in the brain, which generates an electromagnetic As physical beings made up of field, which then causes an atoms, which in turn are made up electromagnetic wave to travel of subatomic particles and space along a neural network. At the end (which at their most fundamental of the neural journey, chemicals level are photons or light parti- called neuropeptides are released cles), our physical bodies are, in and activate biochemical events. fact, moving at the speed of light, So, from thought we create light, 300,000 kilometers per second, which in turn creates electromag- appearing and disappearing at the netic waves and then chemicals. speed of light, flickering in and With a simple intention, we start out of existence. We perceive 3-D this whole process of biological reality as solid because our senses manifestation. can’t process at the speed of the flickering.

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According to Green, E., Green, Mega-Mind As we learn to slow down, ob- A, and Walters (1970), on the uti- serve our thinking, we become lization of biofeedback in the There is an aspect of mind that I more able to be in-charge of our treatment of disease, “Every like to call the Mega-Mind. This minds. When we add the power- change in the physiological state Mega-Mind has the ability to ful practice of gratitude to our is accompanied by an appropriate witness, synthesize, and create. It breathing practice, we have the change in the mental emotional also has the capacity to hook into tools to co-create whole-body pos- state, conscious or unconscious, the Greater Mind or God-Mind itivity for living a life of joy rather and conversely, every change in that extends beyond the small-, than misery. the mental emotional state, ego -, chatter-, negative-mind self. conscious or unconscious, is From its larger perspective, the I offer my students exercises accompanied by an appropriate Mega-Mind has the capacity to throughout the 12-week course. change in the physiological observe and witness everything The following exercise helps to state” (p.3). that is occurring. Its capacity for work with the Way of Conscious observation, synthesis, and cre- Observation: While Christiane Northrup, ation is infinite. MD, in her book, Women’s Have a notebook or your journal Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creat- As we understand this phenom- by your side or on your lap, along ing Physical and Emotional enon—that what we think of or with a pencil, pen, or marker. Health and Healing (2010), dream up has a huge impact on Begin with the Basic Belly Breath. says, “Our entire concept of ‘the that which we create in our As you breathe, use your journal mind’ needs to be expanded lives—it leaves us to ponder this to jot down your observations of considerably. The mind can no question: your small-mind. You will know longer be thought of as being the small-mind by its incessant confined to the brain or to the What If We Were To Dream a chatter. As you breathe into your intellect; it exists in every cell of Different Dream? belly, your awareness of breath our bodies. Every thought we and presence will expand, and think has a biochemical equiv- Let’s become curious about our your ability to separate your iden- alent. Every emotion we feel has a minds. Let’s flex the Mega-Mind tification with your thoughts will biochemical equivalent.” muscle. And breathe the Mega- grow. Mind into our bodies. As we flex With that said, let us review the Mega-Mind, breathe Her power, Watch for patterns: metaphysical and scientific law we empower ourselves to access we will be working with during deeper intuitive knowing and Notice if what you are thinking is this module: greater wisdom, and slowly but past-related: i.e., “Why did I eat surely decrease the power of the that piece of chocolate last night? Thought directs energy. Energy small, negative mind that causes I know I’m not supposed to eat follows thought. our suffering and dis-ease. it!” Or, “I shouldn’t have spent that money, I won’t have enough What this means to us is this . . . Early in my recovery, my to get me through the month.” sponsor in Overeaters Anonymous Write past on your piece of paper. There is a link between our had me implement a simple tech- Or write past food or past money thoughts and feelings and our bi- nique that utilized the law of ener- to identify the thought as a ochemistry. We can shift all of it gy to powerfully alter the way I memory that is food or money re- by shifting one part of it. viewed everything—he had me lated. (Of course, this can be ap- keep a gratitude journal. It’s not plied to any issue or life circum- As we change our thoughts and easy to stay negative while being stance.) beliefs, we can radically alter our grateful for what you have. You state of health and our so-called don’t have to feel the gratitude, Notice if your thoughts are a known reality. you just have to acknowledge it— future fantasy: i.e., worry about the feeling will come later. your financial future or future

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money, I better take my money Practice observing your mind for out and put it somewhere else.” at least five minutes a day, and If you are interested in this pro- Or, “The restaurant may not have then slowly expand that time to 10 gram as well as other programs things I can eat. Why didn’t I sug- minutes. Soon you will become Jane offers, please contact her at gest another restaurant?” Write aware of yourself witnessing your www.emotionaleating.com and future on your piece of paper. Or mind throughout your day. www.janelatimer.com. write future food or future money to identify the thought as a fantasy Another exercise I share in- that is food or money related. volves what I call Contemplative (And, again, this can be applied to Movement. I invite my students to Jane E. Latimer, M.A. is an artist, any issue. I’ll assume you know put on some slow meditation mu- author, and somatic practitioner who this from now on.) sic. They begin by sitting still and is passionate about helping women breathing. Then, slowly they bring access their creative force, expand Notice if your thoughts plan to fix their awareness to their body. First their consciousness and deepen connection to their authentic truths. She a problem: i.e., “Tomorrow I’ll they do some slow stretching, has been empowering women with start my diet again.” “I’ll get eventually standing and moving food and body image issues trans- another job to save for slowly through the space of the form negative obsession into a posi- retirement.” Write plan to fix room. tive force for change for over 25 problem. years. A trained Somatic Experience They may walk, jump, swirl, and IBP practitioner, she incorporates Notice if your thoughts are a judg- whatever their body feels like. As somatic therapies with energetic moment: i.e., “What’s wrong with me they move, they become aware of dalities and creative processes. As that I can’t seem to focus on my their breath and movement. When president and founder of BodyWay, breathing more than a minute at they notice their small-mind chat- and Nourishing the Hungry Soul, her a time?” “Can’t make enough tering, I have them bring aware- programs have reached hundreds of women throughout the world. money,” “Can’t stay on a diet.” ness to the movement again and

Write judgment. repeat this process throughout the References exercise and slowly incorporate it If your thoughts don’t fall into into their daily lives. Green, E. E., Green, A. M., & Wal- any of the above categories, create ters, E. D. (1970). Voluntary con- a new category. I end every workshop with the trol of internal states: Psychologi- following reminders: cal and physiological. Journal of The more you practice this form Transpersonal Psychology, 2(1), of conscious observation, the Do the best you can. Remember, 1-26. greater your identification with you are setting the stage for a Self will become. The greater your whole lifestyle change. Northrup, C. (2010). Women’s Bod- ies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating identification with Self becomes, Physical and Emotional Health the more at peace and joyful life Take it easy. and Healing. NY: Random becomes, the less stress you feel, House. and the less need you have to Take small, consistent steps. numb yourself with the objects of Perkins, J. (1994). The World as Y ou your addiction. Do only what is do-able in honor Dream It. Rochester, VT: Desti- of you. ny Books.

Advances in Eating Disorders: Theory, Research and Practice. New from Routledge. Published three times a year. For more information: http://www.tandf.co.uk/journals/

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PRENATAL BONDING (BA) CURRICULUM training will be offered in Sacramento, CA leading to certification by the origi- nator Jenoe Raffai. - Professionals are invited from all fields associated with pre- and perinatal psychology and medicine as Obstet- rics/Gynecology, Pediatrics, Child Psychiatry, Family Medicine, Midwifery, Doula, Nursing, Infant/Parent Mental Health, Clinical and Developmental Psychology, Clinical Social Work, Marriage/ Family Therapy, Child Welfare and Prevention, Psychoanalysis. CEUs are available for different professions.

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International Connections

By Asaf Rolef Ben-Shahar

Fairy Wings and the Psychotherapeutic Act: Who’s Regulating Whom?

Finding an ‘Ok’ Foot: Selfobject and Resonance

Biosynthesis Body-psychotherapist Gil Arad The therapeutic act frequently involves similar (Arad, Askarov, Gihon, Lieblich, & Medina, 2013) processes: we feel for our clients aspects of described a client who, despite his wish to engage in themselves that they are unable to yet feel, either a meaningful relationship with his girlfriend, could because these are too much (like fear, anger, pain or only feel terror and dread whenever their relationship neediness), or because these clash with their belief deepened. Even though the client acquired some and value system and are in conflict with their intellectual understanding of the origin of his defense system, like the example above. Arad’s anxiety, his bodily and emotional responses were client was unable at first to notice or tolerate the ok nonetheless paralyzing. Arad described his resonant sensations – it would have confronted him directly experience of paralysis and tension, yet he insisted with his avoidance behavior. One of the most on searching for sensations and feelings other than common roles of the psychotherapist, and certainly a the terror and paralysis. The client was unable to highly important one, is to serve as selfobject for the relate to his therapist’s request – nowhere in his body client (Lichtenberg, 1991), and the example given by could he sense anything other than pain, tension and Arad is an excellent one, demonstrating that serving sheer panic. But Arad insisted and observed his own as a selfobject may involve holding generative and resonating body. “After a while, and much weaker resourceful aspects as well as painful ones. than the tension I could sense that my feet were ok,” Additionally, this task is oftentimes somatic and said Arad. Feeding this information back, the client energetic in its nature and is not symbolized in too could acknowledge that his feel felt ok. Slowly therapy until the client can respond to and work with and gradually, with the use of somatic resonance and the affect. feeding it back to the client, the therapeutic dyad was able to regulate the dread and limit the extent of the Letter to the Fairies panic. The client reclaimed his body with the help of Arad who sensed the generative aspects of the A few weeks ago, my daughter Zohar told me client’s body before the client could do so himself. with excitement that she wrote a wishing-note to the fairies and threw it out of the window (we live on the The concept of selfobject was coined by third floor of an apartment building). I am psychoanalyst Heinz Kohut (Bacal, 1995; Kohut, embarrassed to say that my first response was getting 1959) to describe relational regulation. When the upset with her throwing things out of the window child is young, he or she is yet unable to contain and cluttering our neighborhood, but I quickly certain feelings or affect; the mother or father ‘hold it managed to get my bearings together and shared her on the child’s behalf’, feeling what the child can not excitement. “What did you ask for?” I inquired, and feel, experiencing unformulated and flooding Zohar, who is 5 ½ years old, whispered in my ears, experiences until the child is able to reclaim these as “to have wings, so that I could fly.” It really moved her or his own. and excited me.

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I guess that being a good father became far more accessible for me very urge to respond, to feel this and trying to be a good father are in Zohar’s company. internal tug calling us to attempt sometimes oppositional forces. I and meet the other person, to was deeply touched by Zohar’s The evening approached and attempt and alleviate their initiative, and wanted to be a good while hugging Zohar during our suffering. dad, and so went downstairs to the nighttime ritual she started crying. garden to look for the note. It was At first her tears were soft, barely In her seminal book, The there, between the grass blades, a noticeable, but then it became a Drama of the Gifted Child, Alice shiny note with hearts drawn on it heartbreaking sob. I knew what it Miller (1981) related to this and my daughter’s beautiful and was about and felt sad for her, phenomenon as “narcissistic naïve handwriting asking the discovering what Freud would disturbance.” She wrote: “It is fairies to give her a pair of her probably call the tension between often said that psychoanalysts very own fairy wings to fly. the pleasure-principle and the suffer from a narcissistic Wanting to make her happy, I reality-principle. I also felt guilty. disturbance . . . His sensibility, his took a piece of paper, glitter, empathy, his intense and stickers and a flowery envelope “I think the fairies differentiated emotional and sat with my wife to write misunderstood me,” said Zohar, “I responsiveness, and his unusually down a note. don’t want wings just for fairy- powerful ‘antennae’ seem to world, I want wings for this predestine him as a child to be We wrote: “Dear Zohar, thank world, real flying wings, so that I used—if not misused—by people you very much for your letter can fly in the kindergarten and in with intense narcissistic which is attached here. We were the playground of our needs” (p.22). very touched to hear your request. neighborhood.” I suggested she While little girls in the world of stayed in bed with us this night Can you identify with Miller’s humans cannot have wings like and held her while she cried statement and with Pizer’s we do, we wanted you to know herself to sleep. It felt like a deep conceptualization? Can you relate that we are keeping a pair of fairy grief over something she had lost. to the pain of witnessing my wings here just for you. Every Shuy Grace, our 1 ½ year-old daughter’s pain that led me to this time you visit us in your dreams daughter, woke up from Zohar’s regulatory attempt? That my or your journeys to the fairy- sobbing and got up. She sat on internal tug to respond has world, these wings will be yours Zohar’s belly and started jumping narcissistic elements is clear. It is to use as much as you want. With up and down; “jumping” she said, also more than just a narcissistic love, Tinkerbell, Ellie and Ruby.” “jumping up and down”. I guess it response, I hope, but the making Both my wife and I were aching was hard for all of us to bear of me as a father and as a for the sweet hope and dream and witness to Zohar’s pain. It’s hard therapist. were hoping Zohar would be to bear witness to the pain of satisfied with this letter. somebody you love. I wish to think here, together with you, about the profile of a We brought home the letter and An Internal Tug to Respond or responsive psychotherapist – one Zohar opened it and read it Narcissistic Disturbance? that is able to respond. Following quickly, excitedly, jumping up from Miller’s understanding and and down with joy that the fairies Relational psychoanalyst Stuart Pizer’s somewhat kinder take on answered her letter. Zohar asked Pizer (2012) called it an “internal this tug, I think about the balance me if I would take her to the land tug to respond”, which constituted between self and mutual of the fairies that night. We often the analysts “generous regulation in the practiced lucid dreaming together, involvement.” He discussed our psychotherapeutic clinic, and, using trance to open to those internal pull towards responding even more so, about the making of magical worlds that were still to another person’s suffering. I a psychotherapist. open for Zohar and that I’ve believe that a common managed to reclaim with a lot of characteristic of the To be a good-enough therapeutic work – worlds that psychotherapeutic profile is this psychotherapists, we need to be

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wounded. The pain of the other needed to feel that I could do sublimation of pathological has to move us, to mobilize us to something to make her feel better, disturbance, it is also about a true want to “do something about it”. and that something could be done. wish (not need) to love and be Many of us share the basic I am pleased that Zohar was loved, to regulate and be regulated, predisposition for external- unwilling to serve (at least not to mutually meet and be met. One attunement as well as hold the two fully) as my selfobject. of the important enterprises of following beliefs, even if relational psychoanalysis (Balint, unconsciously, that (a) it is my I argue that for the Mitchell, & Parsons, 1993; role and/or duty to do something psychotherapeutic act to be Greenberg & Mitchell, 1983; about someone else’s pain and (b) affective, our clients are Mitchell & Aron, 1999) was to that I can do something about consciously and (more so) conceptualize human somebody else’s pain, that my unconsciously required to meet connectedness and mutual needs attempts will make a difference. some of our needs as as important aspects of humanity This predisposition and these psychotherapists. Mostly they do that could not and should not be beliefs could be seen as so simply by suffering and reduced simply to pathological narcissistic, as well as understood wanting us to help. It is not only sublimated drives. as empathetic. They are, of course, us who regulate our clients but both. The therapeutic personality also (and sometimes more so), our How can we balance the and the therapeutic act, I believe, clients who regulate us. By pathological and generative require us to be sufficiently providing us with opportunities to aspects of our inner tug to narcissistic to care and think that help, our clients satisfy our respond? How can I take we can do something about it, ‘narcissistic disturbance’. We ownership of my utilitarian and while at the same time to have receive meaning, we become, we narcissistic needs on the one hand, sufficiently worked through our receive a sense of our worth. while not shaming and narcissism in order for us to When my clients let me be acknowledging also the beautiful, appropriately respond, allowing meaningful for them, when they empathetic, and loving aspects of the other autonomy and self- let me help them, they give my my choices, on the other hand? direction. After all, everyone is existence meaning, they regulate entitled to their suffering. my characterological need for Bodied Wings and Somatic Somehow, this very internal tug is attunement. If we insist on Regulation the source of the empathetic adopting a pathological point of therapeutic act and at the same view, we might say that the A few days ago, when I came time it holds a potential for practice of psychotherapy can be a home from work, Zohar arresting or disturbing this very repetition compulsion of our approached me. “I’ve been therapeutic act, by blocking narcissistic disturbance. In other thinking, daddy, and I don’t think natural regulatory processes. words, as the 12th century Jewish that the fairies wrote this letter. I philosopher Moshe Ben-Maimon think it was you who’d written it.” I Need You to Let Me Help You, (Maimonines) has allegedly I was taken by surprise. Please suggested: if you have an aptitude Unexpectedly, I felt relived. “Yes, for blood, become a butcher. Zohar, it was me. I wrote the letter At the time, I thought that my from the fairies.” Zohar continued. note to Zohar was an attempt to The therapeutic act is thus not I know you just wanted to make regulate her distress – to support merely an altruistic voyage, it also me happy, but it didn’t help at all.” her in the journey of balancing stems, and deeply so, from I apologized to Zohar. She hasn’t reality and fantasy, in expanding unresolved and possibly let go of wanting to have wings, her potential space. It was also unresolvable narcissistic though, although she told me, that, I do not wish to completely pathologies whereupon my self- yesterday, that “I don’t want to condemn my act, but I was also regulation and self-worth is have wings like birds – not using Zohar as a selfobject – I was dependent on the capacity to help. to fly to the sky. I want to only fly using her to regulate my own At the same time, being a so that my feet will be above anxiety concerning her suffering: I psychotherapist is not simply mom’s head, so that we can still

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explicit by psychotherapist it’s ok for now.” Shuy Grace, my Gil Arad (Arad et al., 2013) at young daughter and Zohar’s young the beginning of this paper, sister, is running in the playground, and only realized in hindsight shouting with glee “I am flying, I by me with Zohar, is that the am flying, I am flying.” tug to respond is a resonance phenomenon. To reiterate, the I hope that we can share some inter- pain of the other as well as ests and dialogue, and I welcome your the resources of the other are feedback, comments, questions and directly experienced by us as challenges. You can email me at as- if these were our own, that [email protected]

the other is alive in me. I have Asaf Rolef Ben-Shahar PhD, has been a psycho- argued before (Rolef Ben- therapist, writer, and trainer for about sixteen years. As a psychotherapist, his work is relational body- Shahar, 2012) that resonance psychotherapy, integrating trancework and Reichian is primarily somatic, that our body-psychotherapy within a relational framework. He enjoys writing and has written dozens of profes- ache is first and foremost sional papers on psychotherapy, body- bodily. To experience reso- psychotherapy, hypnosis, and their integration. He is an international board member for Body- nance, we have to have an Psychotherapy Publications and an associate editor anatomy, a neurology – we for Body, Dance and Movement in Psychotherapy. His first book, A Therapeutic Anatomy, about rela- Zohar and Shuy Grace with their Fairy Wings experience the other through tional body psychotherapy was published in Hebrew, our bodies and in our bodies in Israel and will be published in English by Karnac , 2014. His PhD dissertation (Surrender to Flow), (I would argue that it is not strictly focused on the moments of surrender in three differ- see each other, not higher than my body, but our shared, intersub- ent fields: relational psychoanalysis, body- psychotherapy and hypnosis, and these three form that.” jective body, but this is another sto- the axes of his theoretical and clinical curiosity. ry). Perhaps, when we allow our- References on Page 67 selves to de-idealize the therapeutic Perhaps, when we are attentive act, and recognize the (sometimes enough to our own bodies, we deeply) pathological aspect of the stand a greater chance of realizing psychotherapeutic-profile we can the extent of regulation that we re- better appreciate what our clients quire in our psychotherapeutic do for us: they provide us with work and can find creative means some of our deepest and oft unmet of having those needs met (or at needs for worth, acknowledgment, least addressing them) benevolent- and with ample opportunities to ly – some outside therapy and matter, to make a difference. We some within therapy. Simply said, have an opportunity to have some we use our clients as much as they unmet needs on a daily basis use us; we need our clients too. By thanks to our clients’ generosity. I cultivating embodied mindfulness feel humbled when I can appreciate of the ways I need my clients (and how much my clients are doing for my daughters), I hope that I can me, mostly without me realizing. become a better psychotherapist and a better father. Perhaps, too, when we can celebrate our pathologies they The morning after the sobbing become more than pathologies— night, Zohar came to me with Dr. Asaf Rolef Ben-Shahar without this internal tug to respond bodypaint. “Can you draw a pair of announces the publication of his new book: Touching the Relational our world will be isolated and lone- wings on my back,” she asked. I Edge: Body Psychotherapy, in Israel ly. drew two pink wings on her back. and his upcoming 2014 English “It’s not what I really want,” she translation to be released through Furthermore, what was made made sure that I understood, “but Karnac Publishing.

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Defining Moments for Therapists

Edited by Serge Prengel and Lynn Somerstein

Reviewed by Nancy Eichhorn

Serge Prengel Lynn Somerstein

odern media outlets allow writers to share their thoughts in untold ways, untold M —blogs, websites, twitter, Facebook, newsletters, and self-publishing via pdfs and ibooks/kindles/nooks or hardcopy books. Creativity is the source and someone with something to say can reach a larger audience in less time than traditional book publishers can offer.

With this in mind, Serge Prengel and Lynn Somerstein posted a call for papers for their new book, Defining Moments For Therapists. They included 11 articles from therapists representing integrative body psychotherapy, general psychotherapy, creative arts therapy, focusing oriented therapy, dance/movement therapy, supported yoga therapy and meditation, dream analysis, Somatic Experiencing and psychoanalysis. Released in April 2013, the book can be downloaded for free as a PDF, which the editors say is exactly the same as the book itself, at http: www//LifeSherpa.com/therapists.

According to Serge and Lynn, “the concept of the book is as follows: If therapy is a relational process, it takes a person on the therapist's end. The goal of the project is to capture the therapist's evolving sense of self as it is shaped by our experiences as active participants in a creative interaction. The essays in this book are first- person accounts, by eleven therapists, of some ‘Aha!’ moments when they got to understand themselves better, and to understand better why they do what they do.”

Being an old school reader/reviewer, I requested a hardcopy which I read in one sitting (160 pages). I recognized the names of several contributors and thought I knew them via emails and shared experiences at conferences and meetings. I was wrong.

Defining Moments For Therapists is not a clinical book per se but rather a gathering of remarkable personal stories—memoirs that reveal, at times, intensely vulnerable experiences that defined their way of being in life and in clinical practice. One author shares her story of discovery as a frightened 16-year-old girl in Boston,

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MA, realizes a “raging man could separation and rigid expectations what at first seems apparent . . . easily overpower her”. She tried to regarding physical attention and when listening fully to the whole talk her way out of the man’s ‘perfection’ and social approval. person, subtle relationships and strangle hold around her neck, They formed the essence of meanings reveal themselves” (pp. only intensifying his grip. Then storylines—the unspoken rules 141-142). she “used every bit of and judgments that could guide diaphragmatic breathing she had my dreams and self- “Using mindfulness and somatic learned as a singer” to keep herself delineations” (p. 55). tracking, I observed that my alive (p.34). Close to life’s edge, patients were more in touch with she writes, she felt the possibility “My life has been a search for what they felt; they could go of failure. She recounts this event the right sized space, big enough deeper into their emotions and be from a reflective stance noting to safely experience overwhelming guided by sensations, images and how her faith in God and her emotions, such as deep sorrow or thoughts that would otherwise be decision to embrace life in the raging anger, and small enough so overlooked” (p. 100). moment created a turning point. I can support others and their Drawing on this experience to I think Merle Molofsky’s words create the therapeutic approach she echo the overall theme of this uses, she offers that she “realized collection as he writes, “we all that the information in our body, “We all have the capacity to have the capacity to live in an and especially in our hearts, is a live in an ongoing unfolding ongoing unfolding series of natural inner guidance system” (p. epiphanic moments . . . ‘aha’ is the 37). series of epiphanic moments . . recognition that we reverberate . ‘aha’ is the recognition that with each other and with the Each author offers his or her world” (p. 13). version of life’s remarkable we reverberate with each oth- moments that impacted their er and with the world.” The authors in this collection, in personal journey and their my mind, braved vulnerability to professional choices. For me, reveal themselves, and in so doing, nuggets from the different stories I felt a connection with each and encapsulate the poignancy of the feelings, so they can feel safe, too. every story. I heard their worries personal reflection and the power Right now, I feel constricted, the and conflicts, I felt their pain and of their collective voices as these aftermath of trauma and the lack sorrow, their fear and questioning, writers encourage all therapists to of physical mobility. Vast and then the ‘aha’ as doubt was consider who they are, where they uncontained space and too tight replaced by knowing and faith in came from, and how their presence boundaries are equally themselves and their presence in relationally impacts their patients’ overwhelming” (p. 17). other people’s lives. While the healing process: text itself isn’t ‘perfect’, the reality “Staying attuned in a focusing is, our lives are not picture perfect “I considered leaving the field. I way and not closing off that initial and through the misty, muddied was worried that I was too weak to impulse supported and nourished a experiences that we endure, we listen to the pain and trauma. I core wellspring in me. . . . come to a clearer view of what it wondered if I was inadequate, if listening inside and giving means to be in relationship with there was something missing in attention to all of that in me ourselves and others, to love and me that made me unable to ‘fix’ a allowed me to be true to myself, care for ourselves and in turn for hurting person. I had even more and understand in a deeper way others. I offer a note of thanks to questions about why I could not let the wordless intricacy of the the writers and editors for go of their pain as other therapists therapeutic process, and how I gathering together and offering seemed to do” (p. 81). bring myself to it” (p.117). their truth for free . . . collaboration like this brings us “My own background gave rise “Listen fully, there is much together and strengthens our to childhood struggles related to more to hear and experience than presence in the field and in one

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Defining Moments for Therapists An Interview with Serge Prengel by Nancy Eichhorn

It started simple enough: a conversation between colleagues that spawned a felt sense.

As Lynn Somerstein spoke, Serge nally as we absorb Tool A, not just with being confronted and having Prengel noted a possible transgres- how to use it but its philosophy, its to improvise—each author’s stand- sion in her story—the antithetical meaning, and digest it and make it ard repertoire imprinted from life’s sense of working as a psychoana- ours, and then we also absorb Tool lessons, mentors’ guidance, and lyst (where the profession relies on B, its philosophy, meaning, and professional training gave way to a neutral stance) and as a yoga uses, and then we integrate the an organic personal integration re- teacher, where, by nature of the combination of A, B and you—that sulting in new behaviors and unex- work, she was focused on directed- is integration. It is a personal pro- pected outcomes. ness and attention to the body. cess,” Serge said. Serge and Lynn reached out to “I imagined all the internalized As Serge and Lynn conversed, friends and colleagues. They ancestors and psychoanalytic role they wondered what happens when shared their book idea: “to capture models rolling their eyes and people face circumstances that the therapist's evolving sense of saying, ‘Oh my God, what is she force them to find an original re- self as it is shaped by their experi- doing, this is terrible’, and con- sponse, not a rote maneuver. ences as active participants in a versely, the yoga ancestors looking creative interaction.” at the neutrality of the human body “People are trained in certain in psychoanalysis,” Serge said. “I ways, and we hang on to what’s A quick response resulted in a checked in with her, to see if she familiar. Even people who consider core group of therapist/authors felt the same, and she did.” themselves creative find comfort in willing to explore and share their reverting to what they know. But, "‘Aha!’ moments when they got to Brainstorming further, Serge re- what happens when we find our- understand themselves better, and alized that conceptually they trans- selves in a situation or conflict and to understand better why they do gression but also how people inte- we don’t have an auto response? what they do." Serge and Lynn grate things in life. We have to come up with our own split the Editorial tasks with Lynn way, a different movement which covering the more traditional edit- “I am interested in integration, becomes a defining moment,” ing/copyediting and Serge working but not just in terms of different Serge said. as a developmental editor. modalities. I don’t like to think of integration at the level of say ap- The book was born. Defining “I was talking with them from plying theories, as if Tool A and Moments for Therapists is an an- the beginning about what they Tool B can be put together and thology offering a broad range of wanted to say,” Serge explained. used, but rather what happens inter- stories that while diverse all deal “It was a mixture at times of talk-

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writing, helping them to develop time, these authors were not in con- Wonderful things happen in pro- their story. . It is a similar process tact with each other; they were cess groups. Perhaps this will ex- in therapy—someone comes in willing to explore these moments pand beyond a gathering of 10-20- with a story, an episode in their life on their own, and I was able to see 30 people and can become virtual. that they want to deepen and ex- them evolve with each other and as We will wait and see what plore, to look at in different dimen- a book. I witnessed this community happens,” Serge said. sions, relations/associations and taking shape amid a growing a meanings. Only this was different sense of excitement. There was a Self-publishing books for over 15 because the authors were not in degree of earnestness and depth years, Serge said that his first book, therapy, and we were not uncover- with each author as they found new entitled, Still a Dad: The Divorced ing pathology. But we were using layers and ways to explore them. I Dad’s Promise, was printed in an this capacity to go deeper.” also wanted to find other kindred old brick and mortar publishing spirits who would resonate with the facility, though he created his own Though many of the authors deal book, with certain stories in the imprint. The pdf was offered for with trauma in their essays, Serge book. I think it is wonderful to free on his website because he said it is not a book about trauma. have it spread, that’s why we offer didn’t want people to not read his The essays share traumatic events it for free. They can try it and see if books due to financial constraints. that could have been overwhelm- they like it, if it resonates. We are Ten books later, Serge is still ing, and the person might have sending it out into the world not as offering his writings for free on his been destroyed by it; but, they a product but as a vehicle that cre- website, with hardcopies also overcome it and in so doing ates community where other people available for a small fee. became a different person and grew can find kindred spirits to discuss from the challenge. When they in- psychotherapy as a process not a Defining Moments for Therapists tegrated it, the traumatic experi- product.” can be downloaded for free on the ence became the defining moment. website http://www/ “Part of the beauty of it is that LifeSherpa.com/therapists. The “Like the hero in a story who there are no predetermined out- trade paperback is available at online confronts a challenge, it could be comes for the book. We will let it bookstores: Amazon.com and his undoing, but by reorganizing evolve organically, let a communi- BarnesAndNoble.com. the experience and response, it ty develop where people can find transforms and defines you,” Serge that sense of kindred spirit to ex- Serge Prengel, LMHC, is in private practice in New York City. He sees said. “You are reorganized at a change ideas about therapy as a change as a creative process,drive by the deeper level; through this trauma process,” Serge said. depth and immediacy of felt-sense experi- you discover in yourself re- ence. He wrote Scissors: A Whimsical sources to overcome it. Looking at Whether this community devel- Fable About Empowerment as well as this as a process, these authors ops into people sharing more defin- other books, and is the editor of Somatic Perspectives on Psychotherapy. He has have a built-in capacity and interest ing moments of deeper meanings also been leading experiential workshops in processing what happens in or find themselves writing in small in a variety of venues. them; they reflect and process little bits for online groups or what’s difficult. They’ve been online articles or books, anything is Lynn Somerstein, PhD, NCPsyA, LP, trained to do this, and as good psy- possible. Serge noted the wonder- RYT, is a licensed psychoanalyst in private practice, is Executive Director of the chotherapists, they help their pa- ous capacity that results as people Institute for Expressive Analysis. She is tients practice this process.” observe what is happening and in on the editorial board of the Psychoanalyt- synchrony also notice where the ic Review and the author of numerous Kindred Spirits energy is and then they ride that articles about yoga, anxiety, attachment energy. issues and psychotherapy. Lynn is also an international speaker and has presented “A large part for me in doing this her work in India, Turkey, China and in book was a sense of connecting “It feels promising to put togeth- the United States. She uses the wisdom with kindred spirits,” Serge shared. er a group of people with an ear- she has gained as a yoga teacher, psy- “Lynn and I came into this idea and nest, deep interest in exploring chologist, and student of Ayurveda to help then found a larger group. At that their process and willing to share it. people reach their inner most goals.

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Reflections

By Christine Gindi

he heavy tum tum tum of the bass drum pulsated throughout my body; my breath deepened

with each beat. The sounds of music mixed with the quickening pace of my heart and lungs,T my body churning to keep pace with my arms and legs. Women circled around me, by me, floral scents mixed with citrus, a flavor of heavy musk seemingly out of place yet not. Women flowing by carried by their

own stream of sounds as the music twirled each of us together and alone, as if a practiced dance partner. We

moved to the rhythms resonating within our inner being, the energy an eclectic mix of self and other, of

music and muse, of feeling and emotion.

I danced through the room point, my knees buckled and I trollably as a prayer of gratitude feeling a myriad of emotions: found myself kneeling on the floor poured out of me. Not only did I gratitude for simply knowing my crying. tolerate intense affect, I felt safe friends and anger at some of their enough to experience it safely unthinkable circumstances of One of the reasons why this par- with other people possibly wit- dysfunction and abuse. I vividly ticular dance circle is meaningful nessing me. Perhaps it was the recalled important people in my to me is because of my difficulty tender tone of the music playing life who inspired me with their crying in front of other people. or the poignant connections danc- tenacity and determination to beat For years I felt puzzled by other ing with my sisters in this circle the odds. Contemplating their people's ability to openly share that led me to this emotional expe- drive to transcend their lives' their vulnerability and grief, often rience. Perhaps it was the reality circumstances and create success- times unexpectedly in forums like that my emotional resilience has ful, love filled lives for them- classrooms and professional expanded so that I am now able to selves energized my steps. My meetings. At the same time, I felt trust feeling intense emotional heart called out to these friends a sense of admiration for those states moving through me; I was- who persevered through numerous who dared to be vulnerable with n't afraid of getting stuck in an storms; I thanked them for sharing strangers. I yearned for that kind abyss of out-of-control feelings, their lives with me through move- of permission for myself. Yet, and I didn't dread the backlash of ment. Tears flowed freely. At one during that dance, I wept uncon- extreme emotion anymore. I had

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come a long way thanks to somatic known as the rebound cycle, I face of overwhelming emotions. therapy. could see things more clearly. The In fact, it is supremely intelligent. sunlight in the room appeared in I don’t have to feel everything to Recently I had an initial session noticeably different shades and the the fullest extent and that’s a with a somatic therapist who kaleidoscope of colors of the art- relief. helped me notice my shallow work stood out at me. In this para- breathing pattern. My chest was sympathetic state, I could “begin When I learned about Reich’s barely moving and I couldn’t sense to notice and experience sensations aggressive approach to liberating the lower half of my body either. besides pain, bracing, and tension” repressed emotions from the body, Most of my attention was focused and “realize that there’s another I would never have considered his on the tension in my shoulders, universe available” to me therapy because I feared being head, and neck. Perhaps I was (MacNaughton, 2004, p. 384-385). overwhelmed. Reich used more nervous working with a new thera- I could breathe easier. I also active breathing patterns and prov- pist and suppressing my breath sensed the totality of my body, ocation of muscle to dissolve what helped me cope with the anxiety. especially my legs and spine. I he termed character armor He taught me how to breathe was coming home. (MacNaughton, 2004, p. 370). through my belly. Beginning to The thought of having a cathartic breathe this way brought to light Christine Caldwell (1996) points de-armoring process made me fear some surprisingly intense emotion. out that we can accomplish bodily being flooded and dissociating Even though I could have easily desensitization in two ways: with since the “reduction or dissolution predicted that breathing would our breath and with our posture (p. of an individual’s armor can open the door to emotional experi- 49). Likewise, Conger (1994) disorganize a person’s whole sys- ences, it, nevertheless, felt huge states that “Reich informs us that tem of adaptation and coping and unexpected for me. As my holding our breath and contracting (MacNaughton, 2004, p. 371). In belly expanded and contracted our diaphragm are early mecha- order to make up a graduate class, with each breath, my neck started nisms we use to suppress sensa- I agreed to have a session with a to bend my head forward and my tions of anxiety and pleasure” (p. neo-Reichian therapist who shoulders soon followed. 82). All of these strategies had a focused on breathwork. He men- powerful effect on me, and it is tioned that the East Coast tends to As I sat on the crisp-brown couch only fairly recently that I recog- be more orthodox in approaches; bent over, with my hands on my nized the depth of my physiologi- the West Coast is certainly more stomach, I began to cry. There cal strategies for affect regulation. relaxed. I mentioned how I want- was no story, image, or meaning The pain I buried deep inside me ed to focus on my breath since I attached to my weeping. I sat felt too overwhelming to contact tend to hold in my breath, but was- there crying and curious about so I withdrew from intense n’t ready for a big cathartic experi- what was happening to me. My emotion through shallow breathing ence since this would probably be weeping in front of practically a and constriction of my throat and my only session with him. stranger occurred fairly early in chest. The avoidance of breath, of the session. I felt safe and com- feeling “the raw force and vitality Since I wanted a Reichian fortable enough with my therapist of life energy,” made me realize “experience,” we moved to the mat and more importantly, myself, to the extent of my armoring for some breathing work. He sat allow all of these parts of my (Conger, 1994, p. 82). Reich felt by my side and talked about differ- experience to emerge. I simply that we have armored ourselves ent experiences he and his clients felt the sensations of crying while I physically and psychically from have had with breath work. He breathed. When the therapist experiencing the deep feelings of also assured me that he would ask asked me if I was feeling sadness connection to that flow of the Life my permission before he touched or relief, I responded that it was a Force through our bodies me. As soon as I lied down, I be- mixture of both. My crying started (MacNaughton, 2004, p. 358). It gan to feel unexplainable grief. I to subdue and my neck and shoul- was revelatory for me to discover felt the impulse to cry and shared ders began to rise. When I felt the that it can be healthy to disconnect this with him. He responded that completion of this collapse – from the body, especially in the many feelings may emerge and

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that we don’t have to know the cycle of relaxation and joy began their basic life pulsation because story as to why. I began to breathe to shift into tightness, it was thank- of the guilt he experienced over and he adjusted my arms next to fully time to end the session. I got his parents’ loss of life. I am my sides so the energy could flow up cautiously and slowly and grateful for this experience and more freely through my body. As walked around in order to orient to that my therapist was so generous I breathed, I began to feel tightness ground. I felt relaxed and simulta- with me sharing all kinds of infor- in my head and when I named the neously energized. I never thought mation about himself as a client tightness, he massaged my scalp. a Reichian therapy session could and practitioner. His humanity My head felt clearer and the tight- feel like this, gentle and simple. made me feel safer with him and ness moved to my eyes. It’s My therapist’s physical contact certainly with the sensations and interesting that I felt the tightness was homeopathic and not demand- emotions I experienced. in bands. When he adjusted my ing at all. jaw, by moving it lower and back- Christine Gindi, MDiv, MA, SEP is a Femi- nist Womyn of Color. She has professionally wards, I instantly felt my legs. I During our conversations, he trained in body-based therapies which include also felt the tightness shifting all shared with me that non- Somatic Experiencing, Sensorimotor Psycho- over my face. Americans are so much more con- therapy, Craniosacral and Polarity therapies, and Yoga instruction. She has presented on nected to their bodies while Amer- healing from the trauma of social oppression I also began to smile, I felt hap- icans are in contact with their bod- at JFK University and the Center of Study of py. With my eyes closed, I saw ies enough to whip them into sub- World Religions at Harvard University. She is currently training to become a diversity facili- various shades of lavender, and I mission. He shared this be- tator and licensed somatic psychotherapist. felt connected to everything. It’s cause he got a call from a Euro- She holds a B.A. in the Study of Religion hard to explain that I almost felt pean woman who wanted tradi- from UCLA, a MA in Somatic Psychology from JFK University, and a MA of Divinity altered. My therapist’s calming tional Reichian therapy, and he’s degree from Harvard University. reassurance of everything I was working with her in a way he did feeling felt nourishing and sup- in the 60’s which was wild and References portive, especially since I had my exciting. He also shared a part of Caldwell, C. (1996). Getting Our Bodies eyes closed most of the time. He Reich’s biography I never knew. I Back. Boston, MA: Shambhala Publica- shared stories with me about his never knew that Reich probably tions. own experiences. He applied pres- blamed himself for the deaths of Conger, J. (1994). The Body in Recovery. sure to the juncture between my his parents. I felt compassion for Berkeley, CA: North Atlantic Books. head and neck, and I felt him, perhaps he was so adamant MacNaughton, I. (2004). Body, Breath and completely relaxed. When the about helping restore people to Consciousness: A Somatics Anthology.

The Neural Imagination: Aesthetic observations regarding the nature that various modalities of art can cause and Neuroscientific Approaches to of neuroscience and art, Massey still distortions in the human mind. This is the Arts. takes care to distinguish them by em- most familiar to the general public in phasizing their unique characteristics – the form of optical illusions. One of By Irvey Massey, 2009 most of which are often seen as enig- the more interesting findings in this mas to both artists and scientists book includes the concept that music Reviewed by Tabashshum J. Islam, Stony alike. He asserts that by taking both an is one of the only forms of art that re- Brook University aesthetic and neuro-scientific approach mains undistorted – even in our to the arts, there is room for more en- dreams. Art plays with our sensations, To most individuals, neuroscience and lightenment in regarding how the perceptions, and other aspects having art appear to be two completely brain may work and what art may be to do with our cognition. In this sense, unrelated fields of study. Irving Mas- doing to turn it on. art stimulates our brain in mysterious sey, author of The Neural Imagina- Though there are various limi- and significant ways as opposed to tion, stitches these two fields together tations in this field of study, the beauty other stimuli in our environment. Ir- via facts and observations allowing of it all is that as we delve into these ving Massey delineates the differences fascinating connections between subjects deeper in search for answers, between the two fields yet encourages them. These two fields may even have even more stirring questions arise. further studies within neuroscience an interdependent relationship How the body’s visual systems react and art to help us to learn much more within the human mind. Despite these to art is a particularly interesting in the long run. thought-provoking connections and question Massey takes on as he notes

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Infant Research & Brain-Based Parenting: Neuroscience at Work in The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy: Expanding Caregiving for Healthy the Clinical Repertoire Attachment.

By Judith Rustin By Daniel Hughes 2013 and Jonathan Baylin, 2012

New York: W.W. Norton & Co. New York: W. W. Norton & Co. 211pp. 252 pp. ISBN: 978-0-393-70728-1 ISBN: 978-0-393-71719-9 Reviewed by Tabashshum J. Reviewed by Tabashshum J. Islam, Stony Brook University Islam, Stony Brook University

With fresh, innovative information regarding human Brain-Based Parenting: The Neuroscience of Caregiv- behavior and emotions coming to light every day at ing for Healthy Attachment, co-authored by Daniel A. such a rapid speed, how should we expect therapists Hughes and Jonathon Baylin helps parents to under- and counselors to go about integrating these findings stand neuroscientific mechanisms vital for healthy into the time-tested theories and methods utilized in parent-child bonding. Following an analysis of the the clinical setting? Judith Rustin, author of Infant adult brain, the child’s brain is investigated, empha- Research & Neuroscience at Work in Psychotherapy: sizing the interdependent relationship between the Expanding the Clinical Repertoire, is on a quest to parent and child. Hughes and Baylin explore and ex- answer just that. Rustin allows readers to witness her plain the various domains of parenting which consist exploration of these new findings in infant research of several systems which help to work through pro- and neuroscience as she applies them to her own psy- cesses that every parent experiences. chotherapeutic clinical sessions. Hughes and Baylin supply a plethora of real-life ex- Rustin’s application of these concepts and findings amples and dialogues between the parent and child. give readers a rare treat as they are able to be com- This helps to implement and showcase the concepts pletely absorbed into the clients as if sitting in front of being discussed allowing for greater clarity and un- the patient themselves. What seems to be most useful derstanding for parents. The authors also present situ- about this book is the way in which she breaks down ations in which the child may not cooperate with the seemingly unfamiliar neuroscientific concepts and parent. By considering the various scenarios that may infant research findings before introducing readers to occur in this special relationship, parents are much her patients. As Rustin explores the fear system, more aware of the dos and don’ts of these methods memory, mirror neurons, brain circuitry and much and are given techniques for how to cope when more, she attests to the fact that these theories and there’s a block in the road. findings help her to consistently improve as a psychotherapist and psychoanalyst. By weaving together Unlike many other parenting guides, this book new research with traditional theory Rustin enables acknowledges that the parent is a growing and learn- readers to find a language and “a way of bringing the ing individual whose emotions must be regulated and subtle subtext” of new findings present in her profes- whose brain must be utilized optimally for proper sional work (Rustin, 2013, pp. 170-171). caregiving. In a special foreword Daniel J. Siegal, MD lauds this book and asserts that Hughes and Bay- lin “have taken the important step of incorporating what is known from empirical studies of the brain to create a science-based framework for how to understand the neural system underlying the experience of parenting” (Hughes & Baylin, 2012, pp. xii – xiii).

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Research in Review

By Dawn Bhat

Research from the fields of contemporary medicine and mental health is increasingly vali- dating the mind-body continuum, the heart of somatic studies. Drawing from clinical and basic science, phenomenological and case studies, and literature reviews, this column is dedicated to sharing research from multiple perspectives that may potentially impact the field of body psychotherapy.

Affect Regulation in Men: An Integration of Neuroscience and Clinical Practice

about the felt sense (a somatic Why the Focus on Men in s someone whose career awareness or bodily sense about a Psychotherapy? Astarted in research and now as a situation) of transformation within clinician, I am curious about how the therapeutic relationship. According to Diana, it behooves to apply science, clinically speak- clinicians to become more ing, to my therapeutic practice. I The AEDP seminar with Diana effective in treating men—men attended an Accelerated Experien- Fosha was entitled Men at Work: need to feel invited to do this pow- tial Dynamic Psychotherapy The Neuroscience of Sex Differ- erful, transformative work. (AEDP) seminar February 22, ences in Affect Regulation: Some Furthermore, the current epidemi- 2013 at St. Lukes Hospital in New Implications for Working with ological data on men presents an York City. I was thrilled because Men in Therapy, especially AEDP. alarming picture. In summarizing Diana Fosha, Ph.D., Director of Diana bridged neuroscience and National Institute of Mental the AEDP institute was present- clinical practice in a fashion that, I Health data, Diana pointed out ing. Diana is internationally think, somatic psychotherapists some of the following concerns known for her development of may be intrigued by. The neurobi- related to men: AEDP—an experiential approach ology of gender differences is to psychotherapy that integrates complex and may be attributed to affective neuroscience, attachment a variety of factors, including  suicide is the 8th leading cause theory, trauma work and body- social, genetic and epigenetic (the of death for males based work (Fosha, 2000). AEDP effect experience has on the or-  male: female suicide ratio is is a somatically oriented, bottom- ganism at a cellular or molecular 4:1 up approach that focuses on level). Diana’s presentation  young and older men are at attachment and affect regulation. extracted the poignant points of risk In the therapeutic context, AEDP these factors from highly technical  80% of completed suicides are therapists help clients access the neural science research and by men visceral experience of core affects focused on male ways of thinking,  men have more substance and meta-process (or explore the feeling, modulating stress and abuse patient’s experience in the session) regulating affect.

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 men die seven years younger therapists would adapt their a cliff. That is how the male than women approach when working with men patient described his experience  82% of violent crimes are and women. However, there tends when entering into the felt sense. committed by men to be a bias, in therapy, towards Experiencing feeling and  the ratio of incarcerated males female ways of being. sensation was foreign for him. to females is 14:1 Yet, he was able to do so within  men seek professional help Accelerated Experiential the safety of the therapeutic dyad. less frequently than women Dynamic Psychotherapy When the AEDP therapist asked,  men make less frequent visits (AEDP) with Men - A Case “Where do you feel the to doctors and ask fewer Vignette discomfort?”, the male patient questions. said it was in his chest. When the Diana presented case vignettes therapist asked, “What is the and one in particular was from the sensation?”, the patient said it was work of a male therapist in the a lump. The therapist invited the AEDP community with decades patient to connect with that of experience in working with experience, with that lump in his men with domestic violence. In chest. In the therapist’s presence, this vignette, the male AEDP the patient smiled and said the therapist worked with a newly experiential process was married twenty-five year old with awkward, uncomfortable and jealousy and anger issues. The different. precipitating event leading the male patient to treatment was in Attachment as therapy the context of his wife’s extramarital affair. During an The AEDP therapist asked the Diana Fosha argument with his wife, he lost his patient if he felt safe in the temper and in a rage he punched a therapeutic relationship and the Diana noted that multiple hole in the wall. male patient replied that he factors shape the individual who “would never describe himself as sits in the therapy room as she To illustrate a few central feeling safe or unsafe – only when reviewed the recent literature on aspects of AEDP, I highlighted there is physical harm,” which the neurobiology of sex moments wherein the therapist suggested that he did not have an differences. In general, Diana accessed the felt sense, utilized attachment language. In AEDP, found that researchers say sex attachment as therapy, affirmed the therapist serves as an differences impact affect transformation, and meta- attachment figure by holding and regulation; research describes how processed. leading the patient, not only men’s brains differentially process following and attuning. Here, the information and respond to stress Accessing the felt sense therapist took the lead in naming in comparison with women. and checking and provided Therefore, it makes sense that Imagine standing on the edge of psychoeducation in the middle of

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Transformation have a thicker right hemisphere ple, may be expressed somatically associated with negative emo- in somatic distress, somatic To transform and process the tions, mathematics, and spatial symptoms and somatic actions. healing affects, the AEDP thera- reasoning. Men’s issues in therapy Knowing that men try to discharge pist asked questions such as, are distinct and complex and may this in action helps to understand “What’s stirring inside as we include special attention on anger the male experience of affect reg- explore this? It seems to touch a management, addiction and u lation. more emotional side? Is there a relationship problems. In therapy, difference in your experience?,” to men have a greater tendency to A Summary of the Research assist the patient in further access- intellectualize, problem solve and Today ing the felt sense and affirming avoid communicating about transformation. feelings. Diana reviewed the current literature, some of which is high- Meta-processing In men, language/ lighted in bullets below. Because communication is lateralized to of my innate curiosity as a re- To meta-process, the AEDP the left hemisphere (as opposed to searcher and clinician, I looked at, therapist asked, “What’s it like to both hemispheres in women). So reflected on and tried to see how know that?” Other questions used the level of emotional activation this research may inform what to meta-process were: “What’s in men may be greater but much goes on in therapy. In so doing, I that like in the moment as we are less modulated and less linked noticed that trying to understand talking? What is it like to be seen? with language. When asked, how to do therapy based on the What does it physically feel like? “How do you feel?” Men often science is a skill in itself. For me, Physically, what do you notice? It reply by saying, “I don’t know.” this brought forward a deeper ap- seems obvious but we can preciation for Diana’s presentation translate it into sensation and This response is not necessarily and her ability to easily translate experience, what’s that like?” a defense. Some men seem to lack technical research in a simplified Toward the end of the session, the the capacity to articulate emotion fashion for clinical effectiveness. therapist asked, “What was that while communicating it. Clinical- Based on Diana’s presentation, like in your body? What does ly, men may need time alone to here are some sex differences in satisfying feel like, physically? process and the therapist may affect regulation and stress modu- What else are you aware of? The have to help men with the uneasi- lation: patient felt satisfied and said he ness of interactive regulation. could feel more air in the atmos- In addition, there is a shame factor women are overly represented on phere, which was a pleasant, new in working with men. There are affiliative responses to stress (i.e., experience for him. gender differences in the issues tend and befriend), which is regu- that provoke shame such that for lated and mediated by the limbic Affect Regulation is Different women it is based on appearance, system for Men attractiveness and role conflict. In contrast, for men, shame is associ- men are overly represented on The clinical application of ated with achievement, success, neuroendocrine response to stress neuroscientific research may re- dominance, weakness or lack of and more sympathetic nervous quire that the therapist work dif- self-control. Asking men to come system activity (i.e., fight/flight) ferently with men. For one, forth with talking about emotion women favor connection (ideal for may bring them into shame, which in women, the orbitofrontal re- therapy) but men favor concentra- may, at least in part, explain why gions are larger and there is a larg- tion. The structure, organization men are not taking advantage of er ratio of orbitofrontal cortex to and function of the brain are dif- the present array of available psy- amygdala (i.e., regulation: activa- ferent in men. Men have more chotherapeutic services. tion) grey matter, which has more active neurons and drives male Without treatment, the male ex- stress and increased cortisol im- intellectual performance. Men perience of depression, for exam- proves response to achievement

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stressors in men and decreases effi- and may not seek out the help of a ciency in women therapist. Knowing this, clinicians can expect and be sensitive to the stress increases efficiency in men resistance men may present with in decision making speed and and target this phenomenon In therapy, it decreases such effectiveness for explicitly. women Sex-Specific plasticity: Male may be “interacting with women can im- Ways of Responding to and Reg- pair men’s cognitive functioning” ulating Stress and the more attractive the greater important to decline, according to Karremans, There are phenomenological dif- Verwijmeren, Pronk, & Reitsma ferences between the way in which (2011) men and women respond to stress help men (Goldstein, Jerram, Abbs, Whit- The Literature field-Gabrieli, & Makris, 2011). There is sex-specific plasticity in connect in the Do men withdraw socially under activation of the stress response stress? circuitry: amygdala, hypothalamus, hippocampus, brainstem, orbito- therapeutic dy- Stress promotes social affiliation frontal cortex (OFC), medial pre- for women but not for men. Wom- frontal cortex (mPFC), and anterior en may seek support under cingulate gyrus (ACG). The role of ad to down stress while men tend to withdraw. estrogen in brain attenuation may Stress also differentially influences explain such sex-specific differ- emotional perception in men. As ences. For men, estrogen is present regulate stress increases face recognition in in less amounts than in women. women, it decreases for men (Mather, Lighthall, Nga & Gorlick Women were evaluated twice subcortical 2010). Facial recognition is associ- (early in their cycle and mid-cycle) ated with the temporal pole and the and were compared with men. Dur- fusiform gyrus and stress detection ing the early follicular menstrual arousal. is associated with the amygdala phase, estrogen and progesterone and insula. are low. During the mid-cycle phase, estrogen is high and proges- volved in regulation and inhibition When males observe other’s terone is low. In females, the of arousal from subcortical (i.e., emotions, stress decreases interac- increase in estrogen is associated limbic system) and tions among the amygdala, insula, with attenuated brain activity. In brainstem (i.e., reptilian brain) temporal pole and fusiform gyrus, the present study, Goldstein and regions. which together play a role in help- colleagues (2011) tested whether ing people understand the states of hormonal effects (i.e., estrogen lev- What this may mean clinically minds of others. This finding ex- el) explain sex differences in stress for men is that men remain more plains that males under stress are response. Early in the menstrual activated and physiologically less capable of processing facial cycle, men and females’ brains re- aroused but also benefit from natu- emotional expression, understand- sponded similarly. However, when rally employing a top-down inhibi- ing other’s inner state and respond- compared with mid-cycle fe- tory control. In therapy, it may be ing with empathic attunement. males (when estrogen is high), men important to help men connect in under stress displayed greater acti- the therapeutic dyad to down regu- As previously noted, Diana vation of subcortical areas and ven- late subcortical arousal. stressed that men may need time tral and medial prefrontal cortices. alone to process intense emotions This brain activation pattern is in- Continued on page 66

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Men, Sexual Jealousy, motivating in therapy— women validate the newness and and Attachment Style care about closeness while men weirdness of the focus on emotion care about success and respect. and attachment in the therapeutic With regard to jealousy and Therapists can develop language process. distress related to sexual or that resonates with the male emotional infidelity, not only are experience from an evolutionary In light of the current research, there sex differences but there are standpoint, namely ally, potency, Diana’s seminar was timely, also within differences associated dominance, combat, sports, cutting-edge and greatly needed in with attachment styles (Levy & achievement and success. our culture today. Kelly, 2010). Men are more Therapists can affirm qualities jealous of sexual infidelity, valued by men such as courage, whereas females are more jealous strength and achievement, and of emotional infidelity in general. acknowledge that vulnerability Dawn Bhat, MA, MS, NCC, holds Anxiously attached men or men may be perceived as a wound. graduate degrees in General Psychology with a fearful attachment style Also, therapists can validate the and Clinical Mental Health Counseling were five times more likely to importance of time alone for and is a Nationally Certified Counselor. report sexual than emotional organization and regulation. She has experience in neuropsychology jealousy than their women and has training in somatic modalities, including Somatic Experiencing and counterparts. Avoidantly attached The therapist can normalize, Focusing. Dawn receives clinical men or men with a dismissing validate and provide supervision from and is a psychotherapy attachment style were 26 times psychoeducation on these researcher under the guidance of more likely than dismissing differences to counteract shame. Jacqueline A. Carleton, Ph.D. of the women to report greater sexual According to Diana, men are USABP. Feel free to reach Dawn: [email protected]. than emotional jealousy. Levy and given a hard time for failing to be Kelly (2010) suggest that there are like women (we don’t expect both an evolutionary (i.e., women to be like men). Therefore, References survival) and an attachment it is important for therapists to Fosha, D. (2000). Transforming power of explanation for jealousy. process validation and the man’s affect: A model for accelerated change. surprise for getting something New York: Basic Books. For clinicians, the attachment right with regard to emotions. Goldstein, J.M., Jerram, M., Abbs, B., explanation can lead to prevention Men and women will benefit by Whitefield-Gabriel, S., & Makris, N. and intervention of male violence learning about differences so each (2010). Sex differences in stress associated with jealousy. may understand, communicate, response circuitry activation dependent on female hormone cycle. Journal of Clinicians can help reduce sexual and be more attuned promoting Neuroscience, 30(2), 431-438. jealousy, especially in dismissing secure attachments and healthy (avoidantly attached) men by relationships. Karremans, J. C., Verwijmeren, T., Pronk, T. M., & Reitsma, M. (2009). Interacting promoting secure attachment and with women can impair men’s cognitive improving the quality of internal Lastly, the therapist can assume functioning. Journal of Experimental working models of interpersonal and appreciate intense experience Social Psychology, 45(1), 1041-1044). relationships. of emotion with men and help Levy, K. N.,& Kelly, K. (2010). Sex with gaining access to emotion. differences in jealousy. A contribution Men tend to use more somatic from attachment theory. Psychological Conclusion: Ideas for Working Science, 21(2), 168-173. with Men in Therapy language, as they are more in touch with bodily sensations than Mather, M., Lighthall, N. R., Nga, L., & Diana elucidated some ideas feelings, and may need help Gorlick, M. (2010). Sex differences in how stress affects brain activity during about working with men in developing an attachment face viewing. Neuroreport, 21(14), 933- therapy, such as what may be language. It is important to 937.

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Continued from page 53 Arad, G., Askarov, R., Gihon, A., Lieblich, M., & Medina, L. (2013). Panel presentation: Body- Psychotherapy. Paper presented at the Multiplici- ty and unity in body psychotherapy. "An anatomy of therapy - body-psychotherapy": Book launch, Tel Aviv. Bacal, H. A. (1995). The essence of Kohut's work and the progress of self psychology. Psychoanalytic Dialogues, 5, 353-366. Balint, E., Mitchell, J., & Parsons, M. (1993). Before I was I :Psychoanalysis and the Imagination. Lon- don: Free Association Books. Greenberg, J. R., & Mitchell, S. A. (1983). Object Relations in Psychoanalytic Theory. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. Kohut, H. (1959). Introspection, empathy, and psychoanalysis - An examination of the relationship between mode of observation and theory. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 7, 459-483. Lichtenberg, J. D. (1991). What is a Selfobject? Psy- choanalytic Dialogues, 1, 455-479. Miller, A. (1981). The Drama of the Gifted Child. New York: Basic Books. Mitchell, S. A., & Aron, L. (Eds.). (1999). Relational Psychoanalysis: The Emergence of a Tradition. New York: The Analytic Press. Pizer, S. (2012). The analyst's generous involvement: Recognition and the tension of tenderness. Paper presented at the Affective relatedness and therapeutic action, The Relational training programme, Psycho- therapy Schoold at the Faculty of Medicine, Tel Aviv University. Rolef Ben-Shahar, A. (2012). The Relational Turn and Body- Psychotherapy IV. Gliding on the Strings that Connect Us - Resonance in Relational Body Psychotherapy. International Body Psychotherapy Journal, 11(1), 12- 24.

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