“Porpoises” Whale on Competition
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2017 & 2018 ABA Law Student Division Best Newspaper Award-Winner VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY 70 1948 - 2018 A Look Softball Tournament ........................................................................1 Inside: Roem Keynotes Lamda Event..........................................................2 GO TO CLEVELAND........................................................................3 Confirmation Stories: “Ike’s Mistake”...............................................4 Wednesday, 17 October 2018 The Newspaper of the University of Virginia School of Law Since 1948 Volume 71, Number 7 President around north “Porpoises” Whale grounds Ryan Dishes Thumbs up to all the professors Goals, who didn’t cancel on Competition Thursday and Fri- day classes during Fall Break. Bagels with While ANG skips 80% of all classes per ABA guidelines, Law Weekly ANG is glad to see ANG’s M. Eleanor Schmalzl ‘20 gunner classmates have fol- Executive Editor lowed ANG’s lead and stayed on vacation instead of pre- The Law Weekly spoke with tending to care about “educa- President James E. Ryan ’92 tion” and “learning.” about his goals for UVA, his love for Charlottesville, and his Thumbs down to favorite bagel. the horde of fratty law students at the Among the myriad op- event of the season tions you had, what led you (aka WWE Smackdown Live to become a law professor @ JPJ). ANG thought ANG and then a university ad- had finally found a safe space ministrator? to avoid all the bros of UVA Law, only to find the event of I know from experience that the season overwhelmed by education transforms lives, and them. working to expand educational opportunities for others has Thumbs side- been the guiding principle and ways to SBA trying aim of my professional life. It’s to ban Chick-fil-A why I taught and studied law Members of the victorious Habeas Porpoise warm up. Photos Kolleen Gladden, ‘21 / Virginia Law Weekly from its events. At and education and the different first, ANG was outraged at ways that law structures edu- M. Eleanor Schmalzl ‘20 to secure the number-one seed fun than all of their peers who this blatant overreach of the cational opportunity, it’s why I Executive Editor despite their overall lacking per- chose to spend the day in the meaningless government. went to Harvard to become the formance at Dandelion. Going library.” Head Ump Carly Crist Then, ANG realized ANG was dean of their education school, Despite the weather’s best ef- undefeated leading up to this echoed Swann, remarking that not planning on attending and it’s why I returned to be- forts, the 1L tournament came past Sunday, the team came in the overall talent of the 1L class SBA events anyway. come president of the Univer- and went this past weekend on ready to fight for ultimate vic- made for a fun day of softball. sity of Virginia. Simply put, I the soggy diamond known as tory. However, Section H was Kicking off the day at 9 a.m. Thumbs up to care about making a difference Copeley Field. While Stephen not the only team competing was #7 Justice RBIs vs. #10 C’s the birds in Gilbert, in the world, and I believe law and Desist, with Section J se- Minnesota who and education offer some of the curing the W with a 14–7 vic- caused havoc after best ways to do that. tory. After their victory, Section becoming drunk off ferment- J members enjoyed a few cold ed fruit. ANG believes this You clerked for Chief Jus- ones as they prepared for the bird is ANG’s ‘spirit animal.’ tice Rehnquist after gradu- foul language and taunting they ating. What advice do you feared they’d endure from the Thumbs down have for students thinking #2 F Bombers in their upcom- to Polish President about clerking? Did you en- ing 12 p.m. game. At 10 a.m., #6 Andrez Duda’s joy the experience? Rip’s RAngers1 faced #11 Good open-ended invite For students thinking about Not Great, with the latter living for a “Fort Trump” in Po- clerking, I would strong[ly] en- up to their reputation of being land. Even ANG knows that courage them to pursue the op- good but not, well, great. Sec- doesn’t have nearly the req- portunity. They are terrific jobs tion A, with a first baseman who uisite number of consonants and ones that you can really only does not use a glove, advanced to survive Eastern Europe. do shortly after graduation. by a score of 15–8, ready to chal- lenge the #3 Legal-E’s at 1 p.m. Thumbs up to One of our editors had in the afternoon. First round all these spooky an article you wrote with of play finished up with #8 Be- portrait paintings Professor Jeffries assigned yond A Reasonable Out defeat- of old white men! for thier Religious Liber- ing #9 Bam’s I’s 12–5, with the ANG didn’t know we were ties class. Do you have time #1 seeded Habeas Porpoise as already decorating for Hal- these days to focus on your their next opponent in the late loween. legal scholarship? Anything afternoon 3 p.m. time slot. interesting you’re working After no upsets in the first Thumbs down to on? round of play, the former favor- Ivy Gardens’ new Sadly, I don’t have much ites in the first round prepared practice of unlock- time to pursue serious academic to fight an uphill battle as they ing residents’ doors writing, which for me requires went into second round against and leaving them ajar to let sustained periods for research, the well-rested, top-seeded urgently completed painting thinking, and writing. As for teams. Justice RBIs fought but dry. At least give ANG some working on something interest- ultimately fell to the F Bombers advance warning so ANG can ing, my day job is actually pretty with a final score of 15–6, bring- arrange to stay home and interesting at the moment! The Law Weekly’s camera catches another Porpoise. Photo Kolleen Gladden ‘21 ing Section F forward to secure watch the paint dry. T. Parr tried to drown the over- for that prized trophy. Accord- a semi-final position. Rip’s What’s the biggest chal- eager 1Ls with more rain dur- ing to Brooke Swann ’20, NGSL RAngers managed the first up- SPOTTED: Fa- lenge facing you as UVA’s ing the 10 a.m. game, his efforts member and overall badass set of the day at 1 p.m., defeat- mous 1L Contracts ninth president? were ultimately futile as the at all things but especially all ing the Legal E’s by a narrow professor purchas- I don’t know if there’s a single teams began the day of “friend- things softball, every team had 13–10 margin and lots of chants ing their Halloween biggest challenge or a series of ly” competition. After several some standout talent. Swann about “friendship.” Section A’s outfit early. Now that “Sexy them. UVA has accomplished weeks of regular season play remarked that clutch hits and victory secured their spot in the Scooby Doo” is taken, ANG a great deal already, but we also during which the 1Ls (and only major defensive plays carried needs to go back to the draw- have the potential to accomplish the 1Ls) managed to play on wet some teams through games, 1 GO SECTION A!!! ing board. XOXO, Gossip turf and the occasional muddy and the 1Ls who participated SOFTBALL page 3 ANG. RYAN page 2 Copeley, Section H managed and supported “had way more 2 Columns VIRGINIA LAW WEEKLY Wednesday, 17 October 2018 RYAN continued from page 1 convinced me that coming back was the right thing to do. What was your favorite even more and define what a Since coming back, I’ve been thing about the Law School public university should look both humbled and incredibly during your time as a stu- like 12 or 15 years from now. impressed by the people who dent? As a professor? For example, we should look have endured so much pain and It was the same for both: the for ways to become even more yet have also found the strength people and the sense of com- accessible to anyone who is to move forward. munity. The law school attracts qualified to study here, regard- remarkably talented people who less of their economic circum- Students and community are not only smart, hard-work- stance. We should find more members have criticized ing, and ambitious, but who are ways to work together across the University and Charlot- also humane, grounded, and de- schools and disciplines to solve tesville for the heavy police cent. some of our biggest challenges. presence on the one-year And we should focus on building anniversary of the 2017 ral- Is there something you stronger relationships with sur- lies that seemingly targeted wish you’d known as a law rounding communities and be- counter-protesters. What student or advice you have ing of even greater service to the led to the University’s ac- for the current UVA law Commonwealth and beyond. tions on the one-year anni- students as they go through The common thread here is versary? law school and enter the the need to live out our values Uncertainty. Leading up to workforce upon gradua- and close the gap between our the anniversary, we didn’t know tion? aspirations for the University how many people would come Instead of thinking about and our everyday realities. I see to Charlottesville, whether they what you want to be, think about that as our biggest challenge and intended to do harm, and even what you want to do and the dif- greatest opportunity.