A SUMMARY OF DAVID HOBBSISMS Originally found in the SPEEDTV forums. Ok there's 'Bushisms', 'Kerryisms', and many others who seem to create their own words, real or not. So should we leave out the infamous David Hobbs? I THINK NOT!! If you hear a Hobbsism please post it here...I'll start it off 'Clag' Re DC's g/f at the time: "If she plays her cards right she could be my girlfriend." Sacre bleu, he's got superior attachments! Get moving, you dozy git! 'Everyone says Fomulah One's too bowring bleh bleh bleh...' "And he slids right along upside to give 'im the ol' coup de grace" or something like that I loved the Hobbs vs Posey banters (so and so is being shown the blue flag, yeah you'd know all about that yadda yadda), but since then its been kinda boring. I just like it whenever he screams in surprise. "Weoh!" Combination of Mathett and Hobbs screaming "WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA" at the same time i liked when varsha, referring to hobbs, said, "the race, like david hobbs on a saturday night, is subject to blackout." *b It got to be Clag or Klag I still enjoy the ol 'Wakey Wakey eggs and bakey'! And I still like, "Traffic ahead....Szolt!.....They're going into the tunnel! Aaaagghh!" Then Varsha's follow-up, "Don't become the answer to a trivia question." Has to be the one about DC's girlfriend that someone mentioned earlier. I do like the one at the end of the race when a crew member gave JPM his watch back and Hobbs said that Jackie Stewart advised him once to remove his watch before a race to prevent getting caught of a steering column in an accident. I also like the one about although he never won 24 hours of Le Mans he competed in it so often that people just assume he did. I love it when Hobbs needles Matchett about stupid mechanics and Matchett replys with derogatory comments about drivers---priceless! Bob Varsha however is the worst for sure. Making the minutiae historical comments about "the late Ayrton Senna" . I retract the worse is the idiot Paul Page. Horacio "put the Welly down" a reference to wellington racing boots. I always liked it when Hobbs quoted Denny Hulme any time it rains at Spa..." Denny Hulme always said 'Rain at Spa Dave...Paark it!' That gives you an idea of what the 1967 World Champion felt about Spa." He wrote "quite right" as he autographed a letter to the editor of "On Track" from me telling ESPN they were dopes for replacing him, with his quick wit, with Derek Daly and his mindless drival. I admire the guy a hell of a lot. He just has panache. Oh and when he used to speak in pigeon Japanese whenever he referred to Nakajima. My question to the members of the David Hobbs Appreciation Society. Beside me and Hobbs who else is subject to blackout? I love reading all the quotes by everybody on this post...one of my favorites is when the Marshal at Monoco was out and Massa came really close to the guy and David... watch your step sunshine. Adressing a weaving, blockin backmarker: "That little twerp!!" "He done blowed up" , in his NASCAR voice. Of course the cows at Spa moo in French...or Flemish. Pouhon, now that is a big attachment corner......it was something like that, I didn't get it exact, but something to that effect. Maybe this is the place for the story he told yesterday during practice: no memorable Hobbsisms, but a very Hobbsian yarn. I mentioned it yesterday on another thread, but repetition will do no harm. For those who missed it, he said he had been driving in a race at Spa when his car (Ford GT40, I think) broke down right next to a farmhouse. He drove up the driveway to the front door, the farmer let him in, and invited him for a cuppa. He then sat down with the farmer and his wife, drank his tea, and watched the rest of the race with them on the telly. "...Row-bear-toe Varsha..." "...Steve Mae-chez..." "...BAR driver Jai-sonne Bou-tonne..." There was a really funny bit from Hobbs in the F1Decade: Imola. It must have been Matchett who was the Bennetton jack man and Hobbs pointed out the "wide-legged stance" of the jackman, it is just hilarious the way he said it, pointing out something as meaningless as a stance. I'm sure Matchett thought over his stance thoroughly... Maybe that's why it broke him up...makes me laugh every time I watch it. How about the mechanics "working like one armed paper hangers in a gale"? He also said "stone the crows" which I haven't heard for at least 30 years. It's easy to make mistakes when you're commentating, but this one really made me laugh. Hobbs on Kimi overtaking DC: "Coulthard's gonna have a run on DC here!" Is it just me, or has Hobbs not reffered to putting "the cat among the pigeons" for awhile... My favorite is when he does his Ross Brawn impersonations. Here is an example: "Aaaah Micheal. We need 15 seconds over the next 12 laps. Can you do it?" "OK." I haven't seen Stroker Ace but really liked Hobbsies work as 'coastwatcher' in 1988's "Emerald City"... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0387586/ Aug.29, 2004: THE SETTING Schumacher has dominated the first 13 races of the 2004 season while Raikkonen has been plagued by unreliability. Returning to the glorious SPA circuit, RAI has a superb drive during an event-filled Grand Prix. With only 4 laps remaining, the camera shows RAI and MSC stalking each other behind the Safety Car... ...as we anxiously prepare for an explosive battle to the checkered flag... Hobbsie "I think with that World Championship so close, it'd be nice to win 8 rows in a race." H: "8 races in a row." Varsha: "8 races in a row. Either one." Ma-shay: "Easy for you to say, David Hobbes." (all chuckling) H: "Obviously not! Ummm..." ** the camera pans to a close-up of the rear of Kimi's MP4-19B cresting a rise**H: "THERE'S SMOKE COMING OUT HIS EXHAUST PIPE!!!" ...a brief panic-y silence... V: "...don't do that......" "Harro, And welcome to the Japanese GP!" "Is that M. Schumacher that we're seeing there? Nope, it's Barrichello, 'cause it says so on the screen" Monza Practice - Sep.10 On McLaren setup: Hobbsie: "Not using a lot of road coming out of Lesmo, so if this is a quick sector they've got that handling pretty spot-bollock-on here." [muffled laughter] Ma-shay: "They certainly have, David Hobbes." I also liked this: "Coming down to the Parabolica --- as Crocodile Dundee would say, "THIS is a corner!" I won't get this one exactly right but... Matchett: "Remember, they'll be using virgin nozzles for this next pitstop" Hobbs "Come on now Steve, this is a family show" Also loved... "Get moving you dozy git!" I liked when Varsha described the crowd as being "misogynistic" when Kimi lost his rear wing and ended up in the sand trap in front of the grandstand in Germany: From this season: An addition to a previous reply: "How do you say 'done blowed up' in French? When Raikkonen blew his engine at the Nurburgring, I think: "Das is ein blown engine." Oh jeez, how could I forget the big word now from Bob, David, and Steve: "SCHEMOZZLE!" How about KABLAMOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ol' Hobbsy's been using schmozzle since the '80s... Fred Alonzo Albert Prost Steve Johnson Gerry Berger Not a Hobbism but from Bob Varsha this morning - Monza is one of the most unique circuits. Bob, it is either unique (one of a kind) or it isn't. ...something about training in a bar & not in a gym "because bars just like race cars...crowded, hot & smokey" &.....it's a bit arrrrr-geeeeeee barrrr---geeee.... Matchett: Is that a potato? Hobbs: It's a po-tah-to. Some more from today (paraphrasing) Hobbs: We've just received word that British TV has gone COMPLETELY BLACK since poor 'ol Jenson Button is now running in third place" Varsha: Oh well, we'll still be with you. They can go watch cricket or something. Then at race's end, when Matchett was talking about how all the teams flee to their garages once all the fans start storming the front straightaway, and how anyone stuck outside would have to crawl under a 6-8 inch opening in the garage door, Hobbs said something like this... Hobbs: So I suppose for you they'd have to raise it a little higher to fit you under there? And of course... Hobbs: I bet Jenson is saying to himself "What the HELL do I have to do to win?! From today: "Well, I guess we won't be seeing a Ferrari 1-2 today!" With all due respect, these guys are not any better at guessing than you or I. From today (Monza): Referring to Schumacher blowing by the BAR in the closing stages... ""...he passed Button like he was tied to the ground..." Writting these down doesnt do ole' Hobbsie justice, but I appreciate the thread all the same... With all due respect: I don't believe that anyone watching the race would have disagreed with Hobbsie at that point in the race.