Finding Your First Five Clients!” “Really?” You Betcha

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The Beginning Basics to Blast off and Build a Beautiful and Bountiful Coaching Business (…and even more cool stuff that every new coach should know about— From “make it easy to understand” Marketing info to “just starting out” Sales Strategies and just about everything else in-between) - by ben dooley, mcc The Coaches’ Confidence Coach

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Hey you. Yeah, you. The cool person reading this. So you’re a new coach, huh? “Um..., yeah..” Let me guess. You’re excited about stepping into this new world of coaching but not quite sure how to get started? “Uh-huh. That’s right.” You’ve been learning some great skills, but you’ve heard all these things about having to pick a niche, and how hard it is to build a business, and I’ll bet the idea of marketing and sales makes you queasy? “Just a bit.” And it seems that these days, there’s a million and one experts out there telling you how to make a million and one dollars in this business, and yet no one to really help you get started. “How did you know?” I know because I’ve been there. I know because I work with coaches just like you, filled with the same desires, the same passions, and blocked by the same concerns, obstacles, and fears. I also know that you want tested, tried and true advice, information, and experience that you can apply immediately. You want a book that will answer those unanswered new-coach questions and help you create your coaching confidence. You want an engaging way to make this coaching journey of yours powerful and effective, while also fun and easy. “Yes, yes, yes, to all those!” Well then this is for you. FINALLY, for new coaches just starting out, a book that bridges the gap between “I’m getting some good coach training,” and “all that business building business scares the pudding out of me.” You’ll find that this book will be an invaluable resource as you begin “Finding Your First Five Clients!” “Really?” You betcha. These pages you hold in your hand are packed with incredible value that any and every coach should know. Go ahead. Just open this book to any page and you’ll see for yourself. And don’t just take my word for it. Check out what some of the top movers and shakers in the coaching industry say about the contents on the pages that follow.

“I have to admit, I was skeptical when Ben asked me to read his e-book, “Finding Your First Five Clients.” After all, there is a glut of “bandwagon jumpers” out there trying to capitalize on the coaching market... So called “experts” teaching others how to get clients who don't know how to do so themselves. But Ben is different. His book is different. I love that Ben focuses SPECIFICALLY on “the First Five” Clients. He blends a strong business knowledge with the compassion and understanding of new coaches and their struggles. I believe metrics are a key to success so I absolutely LOVED his “Exponential Marketing Matrix!” This section alone is worth 10x the price of the book. To Ben's potential readers: GET THIS BOOK and do what it says. Period! To Ben: Very well done!” - Michael Charest (President, Business Growth Solutions, www.BGSllc.com) “As a coach, your first five clients are normally the hardest to get. “Finding Your First Five Clients!” gives you a clear, funny and very clear path to get there! Ben Dooley has a terrific way of balancing clear, specific information and steps with delightful metaphor, lightness & humor, reminding us that building a coaching practice does not have to be hard and serious work. Whew!” - Cynthia Loy Darst, CPCC, ORSCC, MCC (www.theinspirationpoint.com) “I just finished reading Ben Dooley's “Finding Your First Five Clients!” and the only word that comes to mind is BRILLIANT!! The first five clients are usually the hardest to get and Ben outlines some simple, clear cut, time tested methods that will absolutely work for any new coach. The idea of limiting it to the first five clients makes the method more manageable and far less overwhelming than any I have seen in the past. By following Ben Dooley's guide new coaches will certainly get off to a much stronger start than they could possibly imagine doing without it. Thanks to “Finding Your First Five Clients!” no new coach needs to struggle to get started again!” - Ken Zaretzky, MCC (The Ken Zaretzky Organization LLC, Author of “How It's Done 101”

What’s that? You’re still reading this back cover? Are you kidding me? What are you waiting for? Get this book now, take it home, learn from it, follow this system and be sure to DO what I say, and get yourself moving now down the path towards your coaching confidence and success. And it’s guaranteed, too. So you’ve got nothing to lose and everything to gain, including your “First Five Clients!” I’ll see you on the following pages. - Ben Dooley, MCC. “the coaches confidence coach.” www.bedo.org

Acknowledgements: I owe special thanks to the many brilliant men and women who have passed on their own amazing information over the years and from whom I continue to learn and grow. Specifically those in the initial stages of my coaching development, Henry and Karen Kimsey-House and all the wonderful CTI staff and leaders and George Johnson, Leslie Lupinsky and Dorcas Kelly for showing me “the business.” It was their wisdom and support that set me on the path to discovering all that is in this book. Many wonderful audio programs and books, too numerous to mention, have also stimulated my thinking and growing. (You can see some of them listed on my website www.bedo.org) Special thanks goes to all my clients, who have helped me refine and clarify my ideas through our work together. I also wish to thank those friends and colleagues and clients who have kept me focused on completing this ever-growing project—which began as a simple 10-page free e-booklet to offer so that I wouldn’t have to keep writing the same things on the message boards, and quickly blossomed into what I hope is an informative and supportive handbook My aim has been to fill in as many of the “gaps” in the information that many coaches are experiencing as they attempt to build a successful coaching practice, so that they can feel more empowered and more confident in their abilities and their impact in the world. I’m especially grateful to all those coaches and clients who, every time I got bogged down in all the niggling details of this project, reminded me of how vital and needed this information is. Special appreciation goes to my father, Dennis Dooley, for passing on his enthusiasm for writing and passion for sharing knowledge, as well as considerable help in cleaning up and editing this book. Great appreciation also to Julia Mattern for her valuable time and skill in finding all my little errors. My awesome and fantasti-graphics provided by Matt Gilbert. And finally to my favorite playmate and wife, Pam, who continually reminds me how much fun it is to play as she continually finds new ways to remind me of why I’m here on this planet at this moment in time. All of the ideas and insights and practical tips included in this book have been accumulated from over seven years of coaching and business growth, as well as a long career of training and experience as an actor. Anything resembling other people’s material (except where acknowledged) is coincidental. No part of this book may be copied or reproduced without the express written permission of the author.

Published by BeDo Productions

My wish for you is that you get all that you need to get out of this book so that you can... BE a successful and confident coach! DO powerful and inspired coaching! HAVE the life and the impact and the coaching success your desire and deserve!

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Testimonials and comments from coaches just like you, as well as from leaders in our industry. “Building a coaching business is a lot of work and it can be challenging to figure out how to get started. In this easy-to-read book, Ben Dooley uses humor combined with practical experience and strategies to provide excellent guidance on Finding Your First Five Clients!. If you are ready to start building your coaching business, this book makes it fun and easy to get started.” - Michelle Schubnel - President, www.CoachAndGrowRich.com “This book is a powerful foundation for building a successful coaching practice. Finding Your First Five Clients! is crucial to both the coach's learning and the requirement of taking yourself seriously as a business owner and entrepreneur. If you don't know how to get clients, and you're not engaged with continually enhancing your coaching abilities...there is no coaching practice. If you don't do these things early in your career, your success will be jeopardized. Ben provides practical steps for starting out at the gate as a winner.” - Therese Kienast, MCC, CPCC (Executive Coach & Leadership Development Consultant, www.RadicalLeadership.com) “Buy this book whether you are just into certification, past certification, just getting going or need a kick start to get going. This is foundational work for us as coaches. Do not step over his plan, at whatever stage you are in right now. I loved the fun and humor of the dialogue, and his wisdom-so like Ben. Laugh with him and at ourselves as he helps to lighten us up on this most important work as coaches. Thank you for all of your work.” - Betty Holthe, CPCC coach (who started with her First Five Clients and is now building her business.) “If you’re a new coach unsure of how to get your first clients, you’re in the right spot. Ben Dooley’s book, “Finding Your First Five Clients!”, has everything you need to find your first clients and get started coaching. If you follow Ben’s instructions and actually DO IT, it WILL work! Don’t hesitate, buy it, do it, and start your coaching business with a boom.” - Kathy Jo Slusher-Haas, Market Your Coaching Business (www.marketyourcoachingbusiness.com) “Ben has taken what seems like an easy thing to do (asking for new coaching clients) and given it clear context and content as to the mechanics of the process. He makes it fun and engaging so as to get past all that “stuff” we have going on about asking for the business. Thank you Ben for your insights, your wisdom and especially your lightheartedness!” - Rick Tamlyn, MCC, CPCC (www.thebiggergame.com) “Ben’s book is wonderfully fun and engaging. He has a very practical way of helping novices such as myself understand the nuances of building a practice. It is obvious to me that Ben has a BIG heart and a deep love for coaching…most especially for helping people succeed.” - Karen Beals, (New coach who now has her First Five Clients) “Whether creating a successful coaching, or any other business, taking the correct action at the right time is the key for success. Ben's book clearly demonstrates how to identify exactly where you are and develop a plan to help you get where you’re going.” - Bruce D Schneider, MCC, author, Energy Leadership: Transforming Your Workplace and Your Life from the Core. (http://www.ipeccoaching.com/energy-leadership/)

“Ben’s book is great especially for beginning coaches because it takes a lot of fear and pressure and myths away around the ‘getting clients monster’ and turns it into a doable playful exercise. For advanced coaches it is a nice easy read which brings a sense of fresh air, new words around values for their marketing and inspiration to try something new. What I like the most about Ben is his humor. We all need a huuuuge dose of that to take ourselves and life lighter because in lightness lays success and client attraction!” - Sylvia Becker-Hill, PCC (Founder of The CoachmakerstrainingTM, a transformational personal journey and a professional coaching training in one. www.thecoachmakerstraining.com) “In his eBook Ben has provided a simple but elegant and foolproof process for beginning coaches to use to maximize their potential for success in their new craft. We are fortunate to have someone in the industry so dedicated to helping get new coaching practices off the ground.” - George Johnson (www.entrevis.com)

“This book is fantastic! It built the context for me, as a new coach to powerfully step into creating my coaching practice. It provided concrete tools that took me though the process of getting clients, and made getting my first five clients seem not only achievable, but simple! Reading this book has helped me take the first step in creating the coaching practice of my dreams.” - Therese Sparby (new coach who now has her First Five Clients)

“I have listened to teleseminar after teleseminar on how to market, how to create a business, how to crunch those numbers but no one addressed facing down that saboteur. Your eBook addressed it. Thank you for showing me how to empower myself to move forward with my coaching business.” (follow up comments) “When I first [wrote the above], I was a new coach. I am now a little more seasoned AND I am starting my group coaching circle using your techniques to gain clients.. They work!” - Geri Moreland, (Now seasoned coach going way beyond her First Five Clients) “In his book, “Finding Your First Five Clients!” author/coach Ben Dooley successfully addresses the topic of building a successful coaching practice from square one, by coaching the coach! Most other coach marketing programs start at square three and beyond, ignoring the beginning, self-inflicted pratfalls and pitfalls that many coaches experience when going into business. Read this book and find out how to market yourself and your practice right from the beginning.” - Ann M. Babiarz, PCC, CPC, ELI-MP, CEIC (www.energyiskey.com) “[Ben Dooley does] an admirable job of breaking down entrepreneurial skills into an easy to digest manual. The bottom line is: step through the fear and ask for the biz. But as we know people need it laid out more for them to be able to do that, and you have done that here.” - Henry Kimsey-House (co-author of “Co-Active Coaching” and co-founder of The Coaches Training Institute, www.thecoaches.com) “The book is energetic and fun to read. It moves you forward while holding your hand. It gives info and insight. It also reminds you to pace yourself and NOT to leap tall buildings in a single bound. I like the equation between skipping steps and 'overwhelm'“. - Ellen Segal (Coach who began with her First Five Clients and is off to find more) “Ben’s book addresses the challenges that new coaches face building their businesses, in an easy-to-read and entertaining way. His practical advice and step-by-step guide to getting your first 5 clients makes the process simple and takes the fear out of marketing yourself. Ben’s gift for teaching shines through in his wonderful metaphors and analogies, and the book sparkles with his witty sense of humor. Reading this book is like having Ben by your side, guiding and encouraging you every step of the way. If you are a new coach starting out, do yourself a favor and follow Ben’s advice-I did and it works!” - Julia Mattern, CPCC, ACC (Coach who has now gone way beyond her First Five Clients) “Out of the multitude of coaching books out there, there are three that every new coach should get their hands on if they want to plunge powerfully into the coaching world. The first is “Co-Active Coaching” by Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House, and Phillip Sandahl, the second is “The Portable Coach”, by Thomas Leonard, and the third is Ben Dooley's incredibly engaging, enticing, informative, and supportive book, “Finding Your First Five Clients!”. It’s like having your own personal mentor coach right in your hands. Ben Dooley is true pioneer of the coaching industry. - Ben Dooley, PCC (BeDo Confidence Coaching. Author of “Finding Your First Five Clients!”, www.bedo.org)

Now are you excited? Can't wait to get started? Don't worry, it all begins on the next page.

So, read on my little wonder-coach. It’s time for you to start Finding Your First Five Clients!

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“Help! I’m still new to coaching and I need to get my first five clients. But I’m having trouble. Everyone I ask either says “No” or they have some excuse as to why they can’t and I think they’re really just avoiding me. I can’t get anyone interested. Time is running out and I’m going nowhere. What do I do? Do they kick me out of class if I don’t have my five clients to practice with? And what if I do get them and then they drop out or fire me? What do I do? And if I can’t even find simple practice clients, how will I ever start an actual coaching business? I've gotten some great training and I think I can be a good coach, but this business building stuff scares the ever-lovin pudding out of me. It all seems so hard and overwhelming and I don’t know how to do all this or where to even begin. Does this mean I should just give up coaching? Help!” — panicking coach. Is this your story? Do you relate to this? Don't worry. Help is now here. I come across emails like this all the time—either sent to me directly, or posted on the Co-Active Network. 1 And time and again I have these conversations with coaches on the phone or in person. The fact that you’re reading this suggests you might be in a similar situation yourself and are seeking some sort of help and support. Rest assured, you’re not alone. Each and every coach from the dawn of coaching to forever from now—no matter how experienced and no matter how awesome and incredible and successful they are—has had to address the Universal Coaching Question of “How do I get clients?” And more to the point, the question of, “How do I get started?” And, like you, many of them had no idea how to do it… at the time. Of course, there are plenty of successful coaches out there, with thriving businesses, offering a wide range of products and programs, and fulfilling their dreams through coaching, so you know that it’s possible. Each of these coaches had to learn some simple (and some not-so-simple) tools and lessons that extended beyond just being able to coach. They had to learn about themselves and their business. What they did not have at the time was a book like this to put it all in fun, easy-to-learn, and creative lessons and support. You do. This book is designed to give you what myself and hundreds of other coaches before you didn’t have. The purpose of the content on these following pages is to help you get started, share with you the basics and beginning steps to marketing and building your business, as well as powerful coaching insights, and to help you Find Your First Five Clients!

MY GUARANTEE In fact, I’m so certain that the information and process described in this book will provide the results you’re looking for that I’m willing to make this guarantee. If you follow this workbook and all the steps outlined here to their completion, and you don’t succeed in signing up any practice clients, not a single one, I will offer you four complimentary personal coaching sessions to help you get moving.

1 An incredible message-board resource for coaches. Check it out at www.coactivenetwork.com

“What? Are you kidding?”, I’m sure you’re saying, “That’s something like a $400 value.” Yes, I’m serious. And you’re right, it is worth that much. Maybe more. But I can confidently make that offer for two very powerful reasons. 1) I believe in this system 2) I believe in you. So you think you might want to give it a try? What have you got to lose? Well, aside from your old limiting beliefs, your inhibitions, your fears and concerns and your self- doubt, nothing. But don’t think that this is an easy shortcut and that I’m going to do it for you. Nosireebob. There’s lots of great information in the following pages, as well as some simple, yet effective, exercises to fill out, and then… yes, you have some work to do on your own. In fact, that’s the only way that you’re going to actually experience any results. I can’t do the work for you. Nor can anyone else. But before you put this booklet away, let me remind you that you are now a business. And in order for you to be successful down the line, you’re going to have to act like one, so you better start now. Your business is coaching and impacting your clients. And as long as you commit to doing the work, I’ll commit to giving you whatever support I can provide to help you begin Finding Your First Five Clients! Most likely you’re familiar with some variation of the phrase, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Well, I want you to change that to, “The journey of a thousand clients begins with your first five. And here’s where it all begins. But enough of my yakking. What do you say? Let’s boogie. But first, let’s take a quick look at what all is in this book.

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BASIC TABLE OF TOPICS MY GUARANTEE 6 A LITTLE ABOUT ME 9 MY POWERFUL DISCOVERY 10 THE 5-STEP SYSTEM 11 WHEN DO YOU WANT YOUR FIRST FIVE CLIENTS? 12 WHERE ARE YOU NOW? 14 WHAT’S IN YOUR WAY? 15 SABOTEUR BUSTING 17 WHEN WILL THIS SYSTEM BE OF USE? 19 IS THERE A TIME WHEN THIS SYSTEM WON’T BE OF USE TO YOU? 19 THE THREE STAGES OF COACHING MARKETING AND BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT 19 TECHNIQUES FOR BUILDING A BUSINESS 23 WHAT MAKES THIS SYSTEM DIFFERENT? 25 THE BIG WHY 27 QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS THAT YOU MAY HAVE 28 WHAT IS MARKETING? 44 MARKETING TRAPS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM. 46 WHAT IS SALES? 48 MARKETING STORIES 50 WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? 55 THE SECRET OF POWERFUL MARKETING 56 GETTING TO KNOW YOUR PRODUCT 57 GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BRAND 58 BUILDING YOUR PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE 59 PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER 68 CREATING YOUR PEP 69 POWERFUL UNIVERSAL LAWS 75 EXTRA BONUS 75 READ THE WRITING ON THE WALL 76 YOU MUST OBEY THE LAW 90 GETTING INTO ACTION 101 HERE’S WHAT YOU DO 104 FLYERS AND POSTERS AND SPAM, OH MY. 105 BACK TO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO 109 THE ANATOMY OF A PHONE CALL 123 THE G.I. PERSPECTIVE 131 SO TO RECAP… 134 YOUR SIMPLE, EASY-TO-FOLLOW, TWO-WEEK SCHEDULE 134 WRAPPING IT UP 136 WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE? 138 FINAL WORDS 140 SHEETS & FORMS & INDEX ‘N’ STUFF 143

OK. So that’s the list of the contents within. Now what do you do? I’m sure you’re looking at this book and wondering if you really need to read through everything. I mean, it’s something like 150 pages, right? Can you really afford to spend the time reading this whole thing and working on the exercises within? Well, actually the question really is, can you afford not to? This book is packed with indispensable information, taken not only from years of my own training and continuous learning, but also from the experience of building my own coaching business, as well as that of the many other coaches I’ve worked with along the way. Not only that, but this book is designed to walk you through the basics so that you emerge feeling more centered, grounded, and with more amazing tools at your disposal that you can use in any advanced work to explode your business even further. There are spaces where you can write in your own thoughts. I encourage you to do so. In fact, feel free to mark this book up any way you want. Highlight, underline, write in the margin, as well as in the spaces provided, make an airplane or a pterodactyl, heck, whatever will best help you. This is your book, and as much as it is about the basics of coaching, it’s also about you. Speaking of which…

A LITTLE ABOUT ME Perhaps you might feel a little better about investing your time with this book if you knew more about me and how this book evolved. At the time of this writing, I’ve been coaching for over seven years,2 five of which have been spent coaching coaches, many of whom, just like you, got into coaching feeling excited by all of the possibilities this training (and new vocation) have to offer, but at the same time somewhat unsure how to create a whole business around it. You see, the truth is I was just like you. Eight years ago, I discovered coaching, walked into my first coach training class and knew it was the new direction for my life. Having spent the better part of the previous 15 years pursuing an acting career and experiencing various degrees of success and failure, I realized that I was not as committed to the building of an acting career as I was attached to the idea of being an actor. I’m good. I know I’m good. And yet, it was a constant challenge to get people to hire or cast me. What made it even worse (though I’ve had my share of successes both on stage and in the commercial media) was that I was getting tired of watching actors I knew I was better than get the jobs. At the same time, I had friends in “the biz” and took note of how they were building not just their careers, but their businesses. They were taking acting and their careers seriously in a way that, as serious and committed as I was, I just wasn’t willing to put in that type of time or effort. At the time I discovered coaching, I promise you, despite my years of experience in the commercial world, I really had no idea of how to build a business and market myself. In fact, I’m pretty confident that I knew even less than you think you do now. However, I also knew from my experience, that it was critical that I learn all I could about building a business—and so began to immerse myself in as many books, programs, audio seminars, teleclasses and

2 Of course this will be completely different by the time you read this. Case in point, as I’m reviewing, renewing and updating this book, I’ve not been coaching for over 13 years. At some point, it will be over 20 years, and that will be a REALLY long time. But I bring this up to remind you that there will be a time when you will not be new for you. You will be able to look back and say, “Yeah, I’ve been doing this coaching thing for over 5 years (or 10 or 15 or more) and I feel much more confident and grounded. (Especially with all the brilliant information and learning from this book.)

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 10 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org whatever else I could find to learn from—extracting as much information from as many experts in the field as I could find. I reveal this humbling fact about myself for a few reasons. 1) If I can learn this stuff, you can too. It’s actually quite easy. The real trick is DOing it. 2) While absorbing all this material, I began to realize that, despite the overflow of information out there, it felt like there was something missing that was making the transition into success more challenging than it needed to be. 3) The more I learned, the more I applied, the more I refined, the more I discovered not only what worked, but why it worked. And even more importantly, I learned what I could do to make my marketing journey even easier and more powerful and successful. And then I made a powerful discovery.

MY POWERFUL DISCOVERY The more I did it, the more confident I became about my coaching. This, in turn, fueled the marketing momentum that created success, thereby boosting the confidence level, which increased the success, which… well, you get the idea. However, there was one problem. Which comes first? Confidence or Success? Success or Confidence? It’s like that darn “chicken or the egg” question that keeps popping up. Now, most people fall into the trap of thinking, “When I get successful, then I’ll be confident.” This is both a difficult and limiting belief to be in. Think about it. That’s basically saying, “When I finally get 20 paying clients at $300 a month, then I’ll be a confident coach.” Now, if that’s true, then answer me this: How will you get those 20 paying clients if you’re not confident in the first place? Hmmm? So does it then go the other way around? Well, let’s consider the coaching version, “When I get confident, then I’ll have 20 paying clients.” How does that feel? A little better perhaps, but I’m guessing the question of, “Yeah, but how do I do that in the first place,” keeps coming up. So perhaps neither confidence nor competence comes first, AND yet both do. And that’s part of what this book will help reveal to you… your beginning stages of coaching confidence. I began to discover certain gaps in many of these “expert marketing books” and programs that tell you how to build a six-figure business. Simply put, in order for you to “Build your successful coaching business” or create a “six-figure coaching income”, you’re going to need to declare a niche and target market, discover the “pain” or “gap” or “problem” that they are experiencing and list your benefits of coaching and how you are the answer to their prayers. This is critical to building a powerful coaching business. However, what if you have no idea what your niche is? What if you’re still new at this “coaching thing” that you are still really trying to grasp the actual benefits? And target market? Fahgeddaboutit. This book is designed to be the bridge to all those super systems. Once you get those first five clients (as you are guided step-by-step in this book) then you’ll begin to get more coaching experience. And the more experience you get, the more you learn about who you work well with, what benefits they’re experiencing, and where you can go to target more of those perfect clients. THEN you’ll be pumped and primed to step into those other programs and really build your success. (You can also check out my website www.bedo.org for a list of great places to go for this advanced work.)

So I continued to have these same conversations with my clients. And by passing all this information on to them and other coaches, I was able to refine and hone this material to make it even easier to grasp—and more effective, not only in helping you Find Your First Five Clients!, but to also provide a foundation that will help you go further and faster as you expand beyond your First Five. After helping client after client grasp and understand these simple basics, I realized that it would be much easier to pass along this kind of foundational learning by putting it in a book. So here it is. In fact, not only is this book organized in such a way as to make it easy to follow and utilize towards the beginning of your success, but I’m going to make it even easier for you right now.

THE 5-STEP SYSTEM As I mentioned before, I know how you feel. I’ve been at the beginning of building a business myself, and I work on this area with many coaches just like you. So I’m guessing that if you’re reading this, you’re most likely experiencing a strange mix of excitement about this new thing in your life called coaching, and nervousness about getting clients and making this whole thing work. And, probably added on to all of that, if you’re anything like I was, there’s that scary little voice telling you you’ll never get this and it’s a huge waste of your time and money (we’ll get to all those voices later on, by the way) and the last thing you need to do is to struggle through pages and pages of some guy rambling on and on when all you really just want is just to get to the nitty- gritty useful information, fast and easy. So I’m going to do this a little backwards. I’m going lay out this system right off the bat. Simple and easy. Here are the magical five steps to Finding Your First Five Clients! 1. Discover your own limiting beliefs and bust beyond them. 2. Decide what Stage you are in to reveal your best marketing strategy. 3. Declare your Coaching Purpose. 4. Distill your Top 5 Power Words. 5. Distribute a letter to each and every freaking person that you know. Repeat as needed to get the results you want. “That’s it? That’s your big system?” Well, to be honest, I’ll have to admit, there’s a little more to it than that. But yeah, that’s the basic deal. I told you it was simple. Now, if by reading this far, you figure that this is just the little push you needed and now you’ve got it and are ready to make your move, then by all means, go for it. Follow these steps, and get those clients. If, however, you’d like to know more about what’s really going on with this system and how it works, or one of these steps is unclear, you really aren’t buying this system yet, or you’ve still got several unanswered questions about coaching and getting started powerfully and confidently, then I encourage you to read on. You’ll soon discover that this book is more than just a quick fix—it’s about helping you to understand more clearly your experience and struggles with learning how to market and sell yourself and get clients. You’ll discover how to build a solid foundation on which to build a powerful sales and marketing focus in the future, and you’ll learn just how easy it can be to get clients. It’s simply a matter of applying the right tool to the right job.

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On the one hand, I’m sure you’re looking for someone to just simply give you your clients so you don’t have to worry about it. And although that would be a lovely present, after all is said and done, the truth is, you still would not have developed certain fundamental skills critical to building your business. And there may come a time when you’re going to need to be able to step out with confident marketing (there’s that dang word again) of yourself and your business. If you can’t do it now when the stakes are low (I mean, right now you haven’t created a full-scale business yet), what happens when you can’t find clients and this is your only means of income and your bills are stacking up? Then the pressure will really be on. So as you are reading this, remember that it is not a quick fix, but a deeper kind of learning that will help you get longer-term results. Consider this book the ABCs of how to fish. Besides, I know that you really want to get going and A Parable move forward. And just like anyone who has gone on vacation, Do I need to remind you of the fishing before you go anywhere, there are a few steps to get clear: you metaphor parable? have to recognize where you are right now, you have to have a “Give a man a fish, he eats for a day, clear idea in mind of where you want to go, and then you have but teach him how to order fish off the menu when they go out to eat and he… to create your plan of action. (For example: goes into debt.” Wait. That’s not right. 1) Where are you now? “Take him to the store… so he won’t “Um… In my home, reading this get lost…” No. book.” (See, that was easy) “Go fishing with him and bring lots of beer because it’s boring out there, and 2) Where do you want to go? “How about Disneyland?” be quiet ‘cause you’ll scare the fish away with all that racket… and stop standing 3) How will you get there? “Fly and then rent a car.” up, you’ll tip the boat ov……..” Wonderfully done. Anything else? How about mapping out *splash*. some simple directions so you won’t get lost along the way? Oh, forget it. You know what I mean. It really is just that simple. The important thing to remember is that you can’t change the order of these steps. You have to do them in exactly in this order. Most people get stuck in this process (we’re not just talking about Disneyland here) because they jump immediately to step 3 and create their plan of action, without first establishing WHERE they are NOW, and WHERE they want to go. This portion of the book will guide you through all three. But before we start into all that. Let me ask you a simple question.

WHEN DO YOU WANT YOUR FIRST FIVE CLIENTS? “Wow that seems like a pretty obvious question.” Well, I’m glad that you think so, but really it’s not that obvious. In fact, it’s a pretty reasonable question, because it will begin to establish how you want to read this book. “What? What do you mean?” It’s like this. Perhaps you’re really not in a hurry to get your First Five Clients. Maybe you’re just reading about this system and learning whatever it is that this book has to share because you like exploring different resources and deepening your learning. If that’s the case, then there’s unlikely an urgency in your approach. You’ll more likely pick this book up and read a few pages here and there, learning slowly as you go. Perhaps, whenever you’ve eventually completed the book, you might do the exercise, or might not and just file it away for when you’re ready. If that’s the case, then great. Go for

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 13 of 155 it. I’ve done that very same thing with many other books and programs. Take your time and absorb everything in these pages and let it feed your coaching machine. Of course you already know that you won’t likely find your First Five Clients without taking action, but that’s ok, because right now this is all about you getting information and deepening your learning. And as you’ll see, this book is packed with information and all sorts of powerful and fun learning—all stuff that I wish someone had passed on to me when I was just getting started. If that’s your intention, I hope you absorb everything you can from this book, and then pass it along to another coach who is needing this help. If, however, you’re really urgent, and you really want to get those First Five Clients now, then you’re more likely to rip through this book as fast as you can, get to the exercise at the end and do it to completion. In that case, that’s good, too. That’s what this book is for—to help you get into action and find your First Five Clients right away. And don’t worry, all the information in these pages is worked and explored so thoroughly on these following pages that you’ll also get some deep learning along the way. And then after you’ve found your First Five Clients you can pass this book on to another coach that needs some help getting started. So if you’re in either camp, that’s fantastic, and I am confident you will have a great experience with this book (and don’t forget to pass this along to the next coach). However, there is also a third option, which I hope—oh, I do hope—you’re not in. BE the coach you want to see “Really? What’s that?” You’re a coach. Right? That’s the mode where you start off urgently ripping And this book is designed to help you not through this book and then somewhere in the middle stopping only find your First Five Clients, but to and losing your momentum, and eventually this ends up on a help fill in all the gaps in getting started. In other words, you want to become a shelf or pile somewhere with a bookmark in it. I hope this is confident, skilled, and empowered coach not the case, because then this book hasn’t really served any (or something like that.) purpose. You’ve glossed over the knowledge and information In that case, I invite you to contact me for to and didn’t quite deepen your learning, and then you never your complementary, “Get the most out of got to take the action to create your results. this book” phone call. I’ll be honored to help you get moving to “Yeah, I see what you mean.” BEing that coach starting NOW. Good. So I’m going to suggest that you give yourself a little intention for this book. First off write down today’s date here. “Today’s date is ______” Now, take a moment and consider what the purpose of this book is really about for you. Is it simply to get more information? Or is it to get your First Five Clients right away? Or is it both? (Neither is not an option. I’ll assume that because you took the time to actually get this book, which means that you DO have an intention.) So write down your intention here: ”The reason I got this book was so that I can quickly and easily… ______.” Awesome. Now write down the date that you want this to be completed. In other words, when do you want to finish reading this book and absorbing all the information? And when do you want to begin

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 14 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org locking in your First Five Clients? Take a moment before you answer this. Look at how many pages you have to go through. Consider what What’s in a name? your average schedule is like? When will you be able to make the You may have heard this part of time to read and do the work? Know also, that once you begin the you by some other name. exercise, it’s structured to extend over a two week period, so you Gremlin, Monkey Mind, The might wish to allot for that. Judge, The Inner Critic, and The Committee (cause sometimes it All right. Now that you’ve considered your purpose and seems like there’s several voices intention for this book, which established just HOW you’ll be reading in my head), and my personal favorite, “He Who Runs The it, write in here the date when you will complete this book (you know, Show When I Am Not Present.” 3 to give you a little structure and accountability): Whatever it’s called, it’s basically that voice in your head “I will complete this workbook by ______.” that convinces you all too easily That’s fine. Now that we’ve got that all established, how do you to play small and habitual, usually with a lot of variations feel? of blame and fear attached. Making it Real “Well, a little Resisting the temptation to delve into Quantum nervous. But excited at the same time.” mechanics and multi-dimensional concepts, Good. Then it’s time to get a move on. reality is simply defined by anything we can experience through our five senses—what we And the first question we need to ask is… see, smell, hear, touch and taste. So look at it this way. When you write it Woah! There seems to be a lot of stuff here? Do I down, you’re seeing the words printed in front have to read this whole thing to get results? Can’t you of you. They are imprinted paper or the computer that you can touch. You can hear the just give me some simple things to do and that’s that?” scribbling of the pen or the tapping of the keys. (I’m not sure about the smell and taste part.) Well, my thoughts are that it would certainly be So you see, by writing it down, this desire and beneficial if you did read the whole thing. Hey, trust me, goal has taken its first step to being real. OK? Anyway, it’s not that long. And what’s more, I Of course there’s more required to get it to think you’ll find that you have suddenly acquired, right at completion and to experience it fully, but every the start, some basic and powerful tools to get your first journey begins with that first step. clients. Additionally, you’ll have a deeper understanding of what your own experience really is and how to handle it effectively. So we begin with that first question…

WHERE ARE YOU NOW? I assume you’ve heard the old adage, “Knowledge is power.” Well, the first and most important knowledge is to recognize WHERE you are RIGHT NOW. In fact, that’s your first test. Let’s go now to the CONFIDENCE-O-METER. Take a moment and rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 on just how confident and powerful you feel in your ability to get clients. Go ahead. It doesn’t matter what the number is, we’re just giving your feeling a label so that we have something to compare it to later on when that number

3 Granted, it’s not as strong as working with a coach, but it’s better than nothing. And this way, when you forget what the heck it was that you wanted to do, you can always and easily refer to this to remind you. It will always be here for you.

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 15 of 155 goes up (and it will). Be honest, now. Nobody will ever see the number but you. “My “getting-clients” confidence level right now is a ______” There. You did it. Not so bad, huh? We’ll focus on some of your specific concerns that may be hindering your rating a bit later on. But right now, let’s look at that number you wrote down. I figure it’s pretty safe to assume that it’s not a “10”, otherwise, why would you be reading this? You’d probably be writing your own version. But maybe your number is somewhere in the 7, 8, 9 region. If that’s the case, then you’re already in good shape, and this material will just enhance what you already know and feel. But remember this little exercise is not about self affirmation or positive thinking. We’re trying to take, just you and I in the privacy of these pages, an honest look at the reality here. That’s the whole point of this first question. So work with me, OK? This is for you. Perhaps you decided to rate yourself a 4, 5, or 6. That’s fine, too. Because it means that while you do have some confidence, it probably needs a little extra support work. In other words, it’s perfect that you’re reading this right now. What about if you gave yourself a 1, 2, or 3? Hey, no sweat. Remember, you’re in the beginning stages of this whole thing—of the business part, I mean. I mean, what number did you think the rest of us were at this point? We all started at a 1, 2, or 3, trust me. That’s right, even all your amazing and wonderful instructors started at a 1, 2, or 3. The creators of your coach training school were once at a confidence level of 1, 2, or 3. Even yours truly, at one time, felt a confidence level of 1, 2, or 3 in my ability to get clients (if you can believe that. But it’s true.) And for those of you who gave yourself a “0”, don’t worry. The good news is you can’t go any lower. You can only go up from here. And up is where you’ll go, trust me. Just keep reading on and do the work and you’ll be moving up in no time.

WHAT’S IN YOUR WAY? Back to your earlier question. Do you have to read this whole thing or is there a simple shortcut to all this? Well, the answer to both is, “yes”. You see, as I mentioned before, there are two ways you can use this booklet. First, you can read through this page by page, gaining a deeper sense about what you might be experiencing and the process that you’re entering. Information is a powerful antidote to the poison of “freak out from overwhelm.” Or, you can just use the 5-step method I provided earlier and you’re well on your way. Of course, if that’s the case, then you probably wouldn’t be reading this now, would you? There’s another option that you might be considering, and that is to skip over all this boring wordy stuff and get to the end so you can start filling out the various worksheets and really get to the meat of it. If you’re that impatient and want to get going right away, this would be the option for you. You may find that’s all you need to have some success. However, before you do so, take a moment to notice what it is that may be driving you to “rip through it.” What’s the impatience that is running the show? Is there a Saboteur, Inner Critic, Negator, and all around party-pooper that is suggesting this option? How might this urgency and impatience appear in other areas of your life?

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Don’t worry; I’m not getting all “coachy” on you. But it is worth taking a look. You see, building a stable and successful coaching business can take a long time—years and years. In fact, on average takes anywhere from 3 to 5 years, or even longer, for any business—whether coaching or opening a burger stand—to get started and established enough that you’re actually making money. If that’s the case, then there’s not much of a place for urgency, is there? Impatience leads you to skipping steps, and thus actually making your work harder and your journey even longer. And when that happens, overwhelm is close behind. Think about trying to climb the Eiffel Tower in three easy strides. Considering that there are 2,731 steps to get to the top, you’ll need to cover over 900 at each bound. “But that’s impossible!” You got that right. And when we feel overwhelmed, that’s exactly what we begin doing, skipping steps. So the sweet solution to skipping steps is to split it into stupidly simple steps. See? (Try saying that five times fast.) Here, do this little exercise. Go to the nearest set of steps wherever you are right now. Stand at the bottom and look upwards. Imagine your vision extending beyond the wall end of the steps. See the stairs continuing on, looping around and heading up to yet another level. Picture the stairs looping and ascending again and again, to a succession of higher levels. Now imagine, waiting up there at the very tippy top, is your heart’s desire. Whatever it is. The very big and compelling result that you want to have in your life. Whatever it is, know that it is waiting for you at the very top of that Eiffel Tower you have just entered. And the elevator is broken, wouldn’t you know. There is really no other way to begin, in other words, but with a single step. In fact, turn your attention to that very real first step that’s right in front of your feet. Look at it. This is the very first teeny tiny little action that needs to happen that will start you moving towards the top. If you wanted to find a million dollars at the top, the first step might be to save a single dollar today. If you wanted to lose 50 pounds, that first step might be to walk around the block, or choose something different to eat. You get where I’m going with this? Anything you want can be achieved, it just may take a bit more time and effort than you initially had hoped or even unrealistically expected. So back to how to use this book most effectively. If you do choose to bypass all of my brilliant insights and useful information (do you find they’ve been worth your attention so far?), you may do just fine and be successful in your actions. But don’t be surprised if you wake up one morning and feel like something is still missing, and if that’s so, please don’t write to me that this stupid system doesn’t work, cause you most likely really didn’t follow it very carefully (and therefore the GUARANTEE that I mentioned earlier doesn’t really apply.) The GUARANTEE is for those who commit to reading this book and doing this work, because it’s really not that difficult. It can be kind of fun, if you want it to be. And it works. I’m confident you’ll be successful following this system, not only because this is what I did when I was starting out, but in my years of coaching coaches just like you as they enter Certification and are trying to discover their Coaching Confidence (and are on their way towards creating a successful practice), this is what they’ve done to get their First Five clients. This is the basic foundation to any advanced business building and marketing techniques that you’re eventually going to have to learn to be a successful coach, so you might as well start now while it’s easy. If it doesn’t work because you skipped to the end, then it simply means that it didn’t work because you skipped to the end. And I’ll suggest that instead of doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results (the timeless definition of insanity), this time, when you try it again, make one small adjustment: go back to the beginning and figure out what you might have missed, how you

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 17 of 155 might do it differently, and then try it again. Chances are that if you do a different action, you’ll most likely get different results, right? In fact, just to be safe, let’s take a moment right now to do a little Saboteur check-in and busting.

SABOTEUR BUSTING As you know, it’s much more difficult to learn, grow, and move forward if your Saboteur (gremlin, critic, etc.) keeps honing in on the conversation. Dag, that bugger really gets in the way, doesn’t s/he? Well, before you can do anything with him/her, you first have to first do Step One, and that’s simply to notice that old nemesis is there. So take a moment and just have a listen. Chances are there’s some restless chattering going on in your head right now (which is why they sometimes call it “the chatterbox”)—there’s that familiar voice telling you something along the lines of, “You don’t need to read this whole thing. In fact, why don’t you just skip ahead right now to the summary at the end?” “What’s the point? You’ll never get all this anyway.” “Sure, it may work for someone else, but not you.” “I can’t believe you wasted your money on this goober and his so-called system.” Whatever it is, take a moment and write down what that little bugger is saying to you right now about this program. To HE or not to HE, that is the question. (If I seem to belabor this whole matter of Try giving your Saboteur a specific identity that’s different from yourself. Something like “resistance” to slowing down and proceeding patiently, “The Cranken-meister”, “Garbage Mouth step-by-step, trust me, it’s because I believe taking the Marge” or “His Royal Slugworthless”. time to confront and understand this very issue is Imagine if this was a storybook or cartoon fundamental to your progress. And a lesson you need to character, what would it look like? Is it a he or a learn firsthand so you can teach it to your clients. You she? Draw a picture, make a collage, write out its story. Use all of that to discover what name think they aren’t caught up and trying to accomplish big fits it perfectly. things in a hurry, too?) Remember, the more you know this “character” So, go ahead: Write down your misgivings, your within you, the greater your awareness becomes of when that voice is present. And then you can deepest fears about why you’re probably just going to be more at choice of how you really want to be. fail anyway; your guilt about wasting your time on this pipe dream of having your own practice and working for yourself; your worry that time and circumstances are going to overtake you and drag you down if you don’t succeed fast! So what’s your little voice saying the loudest? What doubts—or scary imaginings— get to you? What are the hard truths about you that you hear this cruel little voice telling you? ______Nicely done. Now take your Saboteur over to the bathroom. Go ahead, do it. I’m not kidding. And I’m not speaking metaphorically either. Picture the little bugger there, standing in front of you, spouting his distracting drivel, whispering his confidence-undermining crap, and physically grab that little stinker by the scruff of his neck with both hands and carry him to the bathroom, lift the toilet seat and throw him (or her) in. Watch the “ker-plunk” and then quickly slam the lid down.

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Don’t forget to flush. Do it now and then come back to this spot. I’ll be here when you get back, sans-Saboteur. No Class? Don’t worry, this isn’t a comment on you Are you in the bathroom yet? Take your time, I’ll wait. personally, but if you’re thinking you don’t need anything else but this book to begin a There. Now that he’s gone, let’s take a moment and successful coaching practice, I have to write down what the “Coach” in you knows. Simple Step differ. As proud as I am of this material, Two in the Saboteur-Busting exercise (once you’ve put that there is nothing like receiving clear and little bugger where he belongs) is to quickly find a new structured training. As you’ll begin to empowering phrase to replace his/her old negative mind discover in the following pages, there are specific skills and methodology to chatter. Chances are, it’ll be something along the lines of, “I coaching, as well as the techniques of have a passion about coaching, and I really want to do this.” creating a coaching relationship. And in “I deserve to give this system a fair chance. I know it can my humble and experienced opinion, this is work for me.” “I love coaching and I believe that with the not something that you can learn from a right tools and support, I can find my first five clients.” A book. You have to experience it firsthand. good place to look for that empowering phrase, whatever it is for you, is behind what it was that had you get involved in coaching in the first place. Pause for a moment to appreciate those powerful feelings of hope and possibility that motivated you. Or take a few moments to reconnect with your passion for coaching. That’s another good place to start. In fact, just so you don’t forget them, go ahead and write down these words of empowerment and support: ______Now stop for a moment and re-read what you just wrote. Rate it on a scale of 1-10 as to how exciting and motivating it is for you right now. If it’s less than a 9 or 10, consider what might still be missing that could energize or support you even more. How does it feel when you’re in class? What part of you gets all giggly when you think about coaching? What’s the delicious dream that you have for yourself in coaching? Write down whatever words and feelings pop up, but don’t worry about having to get this statement “perfect” before proceeding. Whatever you have written now is already perfect in its own way, and we’ll be building on this later on and adding to it to make it even stronger and more empowering. This is just the beginning. For now, just do the best you can so that you have something empowering to refer to that counters all the stuff that nasty and nagging old Saboteur has been vomiting into your head. In fact, add anything new that you’ve just discovered and write your revision in this new space. ______Now, throughout this book, whenever you get hit with those old fears, doubts, and concerns, turn back to this page and read what you’ve just written, over and over again. (Remember: YOU wrote it. They’re YOUR own words and feelings and deep beliefs. It’s sourced from deep within and if you listen, these words can be powerful and compelling.) This phrase will help keep you on track as you move forward and use the system outlined in these pages.

IS THERE A TIME WHEN THIS SYSTEM WON’T BE OF USE TO YOU? To everything there is a season, a specific purpose. So it is with this. You won’t find this system useful if: A) you’ve already used it. You may still get results upon repeated usage, but it really works best as a one-time exercise and loses its effectiveness the more you use it (I know I just said a few pages ago that this material was about creating a solid foundation on which to build long-term growth. And it is. The good news is, although the system itself is not really repeatable, by completing it, you’ll acquire some very basic and powerful tools that will come in quite handy when you graduate to more advanced business building approaches); or 2) you’re in Stage Two or Three of your coach business building. (I’ll explain more about these in a minute.) Basically it’s when you’ve completed your coach training and are trying to build a stable and income-providing coaching business. “What’s all this talk about stages? Are we going to do a play or something? No, nothing like that. It’s actually pretty simple; Each of the different Stages of Business Development that you’re in requires a different approach. And it’s hard to cross apply methods from one Stage to the next. So, as I promised, let’s explore these different Marketing Stages and how they “To Be, or to Do… apply to your coaching. That is the question. Why not both?” THE THREE STAGES OF COACHING MARKETING AND BUSINESS DEVELOPMENT Building a coaching practice is, in many ways, not so different from building any other business. Take your product, for instance. What, you didn’t know you had a product? Well, you do, and it is your coaching. That’s right, although technically your coaching is a service, it is still (for this purpose) considered your “product” and in that case, is not much different than selling burgers. And no matter what business anyone is in, they are always in one of these three stages.4 Stage One: Product Development. If you’re reading this book and you still need to Find Your First Five Clients!, this is the stage that you’re in. And believe it or not, this is actually one of the easiest stages at which to get clients.

4 Just so you know, I established and labeled these three Stages myself. I don‘t know anyone who breaks it down this way. Sorry I couldn’t come up with anything fancier than “Stage One,” etc. but I figured it’s easier to remember this way. And that’s what’s important.

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“What? Are you kidding me? Well if it’s so easy, then how come I’m reading this book instead of working with my overload of easily-acquired clients?” OK, you’ve made your point. But let’s be honest, the main reason you don’t have clients right now is because you simply don’t know how to find them. Let me assure you, however, they’re out there. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a moment to do a little simple math to prove my point. How many people are there in the United States? “What?” You heard me. How many? “Um, when I last checked, it was estimated at 303 million.” Great. And how many of those are adults? “Um… I don’t know.” Well, it doesn’t matter. So let’s take five clients, which is all you’re looking for right now, and 303 million divided by five means you have to sign up one out of every 60.5 million people. In fact, take whatever state, country, region and even city population where you reside and divide it by 5 and it'll still be a very exciting number. For even more fun, let's go global. That's right, through the magic of the internet and international calling plans, you actually have access to anywhere on the planet. Now it's as simple as finding a single person for every 1.4 BILLION people. Do you know how many a BILLION is? If you started counting each second from right now, you would count steadily for nearly 32 years. That's a BIIIIIIIG number. Not bad odds when you look at it that way. “Yeah, I guess you got a point there. OK, go on.” So compared to Stage Two (to be discussed shortly below), you’re actually at an advantage. In fact, you have several advantages, if you choose look at them that way, and not as disadvantages. For one thing, because you’re not yet currently established in your field and nobody really knows who you are or what you do, it will most likely be necessary to have rates that are lower than the standard in order to make your coaching more affordable—which gives you an edge. We’ll talk a little later on about some more of the underappreciated Aces that you have up your sleeve in this Stage that help make you a client magnet. Remember: this is not the mature, stabilized, and profitable stage of your business (a little patience, remember?), this is the phase where you’re setting the foundation and acquiring the learning that will help you grow stronger, as well as get into action. However, it can sometimes feel like it’s going nowhere. If you were a locomotive train, this would be the phase of linking up all the cars on the track and stocking the club car with sandwiches. You’re not really moving yet, but you’re getting everything lined up and are starting to load your first passengers on board. We’ll come back to this stage a little later. What’s important, for now, is to get clear on what the specific work of this stage is, and all the things that need to be in place so you can get the most benefit out of being in this stage, so that you can powerfully move on to the next stage.

Stage Two: Building Business. This is the stage where it starts getting challenging for many new coaches, especially if they’re unfamiliar with marketing skills. In this Stage, you’re actually stepping into building your business and are developing a steady base of clients. If you are ready to start charging more competitive rates, you’re in this stage. If you’re stepping into the world of marketing and declaring your niche, guess what? That’s right. Stage Two. This one tends to be the most challenging of the three, and usually requires a solid foundation and business plan to develop success. (By the way, there are an overwhelming multitude of books, programs, teleclasses, audio seminars, classes, and experts available to help you progress through and beyond this stage. You can visit my website www.bedo.org for some specific recommendations.) To return to our train metaphor, you would be revving the engines now and pulling out of the station. But take a minute and imagine just how much energy it takes just to get that 2,000-ton mass of metal moving even a slight distance. An incredible expenditure of energy is required just getting the wheels to spin, and then finally they catch on the rails, the engine moves barely an inch, and the jolt is sent throughout the entire link of the train. Now, if that wasn’t hard enough, imagine that same train is starting to move while also going uphill. Since your new business, like that train, has no momentum built yet, it probably feels a lot like this to you. The good news is that, although this can be a challenging stage, if you’re committed, persistent— and have done the right things to get your train in top working order, you’ll eventually build enough momentum to allow you to shift into the Stage Three. It happens all the time, so why not with you? The frustrating part about this is that there is no fixed time frame for how long Stage Two will last. It could be a couple of weeks or months, or one or two years, or even more. There’s no timetable and no guarantee. Again, I highly recommend that you find additional resources to help you on that stage of your journey. (But worry about it when you get there—we’re just having an overview here; for now you’re still in Stage One, and that is the only one you need to focus on right now.) Stage Three: Established Brand. In some ways, it’s the easiest of the three, and in some ways, the hardest. Easiest, because by this time, you’ve established yourself in your field. Your target audience knows you. You’ve got a reputation (hopefully positive). But this also means (I said there was a hard part) you are most likely supporting yourself with your practice now, and therefore cannot afford to let up on marketing efforts. You probably have also begun to employ more advanced forms of marketing and have a stronger sense of commitment to building your practice. As a train, you have already developed a pretty good speed, you’ve reached the top of the hill, and now it’s just a matter of maintaining your movement with continuous feeding of the fire. If you let it slide too much, you’ll lose your speed and momentum and have to expend extra energy to get back up to standard. So in this Stage it’s important to find your rhythm and keep her steady as she goes. The other exciting (and sometimes scary) thing about Stage Three is this is where you get to reinvent yourself. It can sometimes feel like you’re starting over, but you’re doing so while you’re already moving. You get to add cars to your train (so to speak). Look at all the major companies, from Starbucks to McDonalds to Disney, once they became established, they couldn’t just sit back and watch the customers keep pouring in year after year. They keep finding new things to offer to their existing customers to keep them excited. These loyal customers are also part of

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 22 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org their marketing team and help spread the word. There is a slight drawback to being in Stage Three and that is you worked so hard and built up so much momentum while you were going uphill that, now that you’ve flattened out or are racing down the other side to your next hill, your train could run away from you. We’ve seen this hundreds of times with companies who got so big so fast that they couldn’t keep up. Either way, it’s important that you remain in the driver’s seat so that you can keep in control of your powerful locomotive. Let’s look at how the three Stages play out in the following little story about a fictional enterprise that might seem at first as far from a coaching practice as driving a train, but in fact holds some very practical lessons. Once upon a time (as all good stories begin) there was a man named Bennie. And he had a dream. Ever since he was a little boy, he wanted to open a Burger Barn of his very own and sell his amazing hamburgers. As fate would have it, a great location opened up and he grabbed it right away and has begun to pursue his dream. But as Bennie does not live in a dream world, he must face certain realities. No matter how good his burgers are it will be challenging at first, because if no one knows about them, no one’s going to buy—especially when there are a McDonald’s and Burger King right down the street. In fact, “Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn“ is so new that he is still working out the secret recipe and honing his system to make sure the food arrives fresh, tasty, and fast. 5 So what does he do? He invites people to come in and be test customers, to help the employees practice taking orders and making the food quickly so that they are able to give great service. He creates focus groups to try all the different types of burgers he’s considering—the avocado-plum burger, the chili and pineapple burger, and the tasty Cherry Jell-O burger6 for dessert. He wants to be sure that his business has got good products to offer before he opens his doors to the public and charges his customers real money. (I’m sure you’ve recognized this as Stage One: Product Development) Finally the big day arrives, and Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn has its Grand Opening. However, since there are, as we’ve noted, several other already-well-established burger places around, Bennie needs to spend some serious time and energy and money to get people interested. So Bennie and the gang at Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn begin to brainstorm big ideas and create some tactics and strategies that will encourage the public to give Bennie’s a try. They may offer their burgers at a lower price. They may offer special deals, like a Tandoori burger and curry fries special with a chutney soda all for one low price. They may do cool and unusual advertising to capture the attention of the public. “Bring your own pudding to spread on the burger of your choice and get $1 off.” The entire purpose of all these promotions is simply to get people to just walk in the door. Remember: before they will buy anything, they have to walk in the door. People have to know about you and your product. (That’s right. We are now in Stage Two: Building Business) Time goes by and word spreads. People start to come from all over to check out the special LemonBananaBurger that’s all the rage. And everybody knows that if you go to Bennie’s, you get a free “atomic action” flipper to flip your own burgers at home. Bennie’s is now established as a Brand. It’s a known name that offers a known product. More importantly, their customers know the difference between Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn and all those other burger places. And if anyone wants a special Whipped Burger Shake (“Your meal and drink all in one tasty gulp”) they know to head

5 Please note that “Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn” is completely made up. Any similarities would be to me, and I don’t own a Burger Barn. Heck, I’ve never even worked in one. I worked at a Little Caesar’s once, but we won’t talk about that. 6 These and other recipes are my own creation and weren’t inspired by anyone. If you would like to try any of these, let me know and I’ll have a stomach pump ready. Then again, they could be delicious, and perhaps I’ve missed my calling with this coaching thing.

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TECHNIQUES FOR BUILDING A BUSINESS “Great. So I get the metaphor for where I am in my coaching currently, and, aside from now being hungry, I want to know how I can become the next Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn of Coaching... metaphorically speaking.” The journey that you’ll take through the Three Stages of Marketing to Success, believe it or not, will be similar to Bennie’s. And as I keep mentioning, there are tons of books, classes, and programs by experts out there that will tell you roughly pretty much the same thing. For this purpose I’ll shortcut and give you the basics, but know that it can be quite worthwhile to invest your time, energy, and finances in these other resources as this is just a brief overview, and the more support you get in your advanced marketing techniques, always the better. But basically, to have a successful business, you will need to:  declare your niche  discover your target audience and the specific and compelling needs, desires, and problems that they are struggling with  list the powerful benefits that your clients are getting from your work and incorporate them into your marketing materials.  create various forms of marketing (website, newsletters, blogs, workshops, etc.)  establish yourself as an expert in your field  give great sample sessions or consultation calls  promote yourself powerfully and persistently. Get out there and do workshops, lectures, coaching demos and all the other “tricks” people use to attract business. And all of this works. IF you’re in Stages Two or Three. … IF you’ve been doing this for awhile and IF you have some experience to draw upon. But what about those coaches who (like you) are at the very beginning of all this? How do you declare a niche when you have no idea who your ideal clients could possibly be? How do you do a workshop when you’ve just barely learned these tools yourself? For that matter, how could you possibly declare yourself an expert in the field? Assuming you actually have a field, you most likely don’t know your field all that well, let alone see yourself as an expert. Sample sessions? Consultation calls? All foreign concepts right now (and may even be a little intimidating). And remember the whole Confidence/Marketing/Success circle? How do you get that whole thing going when you don’t have Confidence in the first place, and you don’t have any Success yet to build upon?

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For a coach who’s just starting out and still learning the basics, all of this can be extremely daunting. Imagine someone teaching you the basic chords on a guitar and then telling you that you’ll be playing this weekend at a bar or wedding… for money… and people will be lining up to request their favorite song. Not too intimidating is it? Rather frightening, huh? Better start practicing “The Hokey-Pokey.” So of course when someone tells you in the most Gung-Ho Cheerleading manner to “Go out there and get those clients! Ask for the business! Name your price!”, it feels like some steps have been left out, right? Well, that’s because some steps have been left out. In other words, these people are telling you to jump straight into Stage Two (or even right to Stage Three) without ever setting foot in Stage One. That’s like going for a long workout without first doing some stretches and getting warmed up. A fella could get hurt that way. It would be like trying to build a house without first digging a basement and taking care of all the plumbing and underground work. Or like jumping out of a plane without bothering to pack a parachute. Or like… “Yeah, yeah. I got it. You’re so clever with the metaphors. Can we just move on?” All right. Let’s take a look at each of these Stages a little more closely instead of just plunging ahead into Overwhelm. Because—remember?—if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it means that you’re skipping steps. Remember that image of trying to climb the Eiffel Tower in three leaps. Now imagine trying to build a full-blown, successful coaching practice in “three easy steps.” Sounds crazy, right? And yet, there are people out there who say that’s all you need and offer you the “Quick Track”. Beware of people who will make these very promises. It can’t be done. Not that big and not that fast. However, by taking it slow and steady, step by step, you’ll eventually get to the top, and you won’t be out of breath. “Again the metaphors!” OK, I know, but I believe it really helps clarify my point. Besides, how else can I justify using this great piece of art on the right? By the way, this seems as good a time as any to point out that these basics you’re learning, although critical to beginning a business, may not necessarily be a proper or effective marketing strategy with which to continue to build a successful and profitable coaching practice. “Why? Do you mean to say that these principles won’t hold up?” On the contrary, it’s just that, as in construction work, you need to use the right tool for the right job. Likewise you need to use the right marketing tool for the right marketing stage. There are plenty of books and other services available that provide tons of advanced marketing and business building ideas and support. And I remind once again, that the purpose of this book is to establish a solid foundation

WHAT MAKES THIS SYSTEM DIFFERENT? Glad you brought that up. Yes, it’s true, as I keep mentioning, there are countless books and workbooks, classes and workshops live or by phone, and a wide range of mentors, coaches, and other experts, all with brilliant information to make this task of getting clients an easy and successful one. And yet, hundreds of coaches are still struggling to get even a bare minimum of clients. Why? First off, it goes back to recognizing which of the three Stages you are currently in. If you’re still in the first stage (learning your skills, establishing your product), then all those great business building techniques from this book and that workshop are basically worthless and can only be utilized properly when you’ve transitioned into Stages Two or Three. Imagine that you get on a plane and are dropped off in the middle of France. If you have no idea how to speak French, you’re going to have a hard time getting directions to the bathroom, or ordering lunch (not to mention finding the Eiffel Tower so you can try to climb it in three steps). You need to at least learn some basics in the language first. I know it seems like I keep saying the same thing over and over in several different ways. And in part that’s true. But each section in this book is also building on the previous, and I want to make really sure that you get this basic stuff before you move on. Also, I realize that this may be new information, perhaps even contrary to what you’ve previously been taught. So by repeating it again and again, in different ways, I’m hopefully working it into your learning so that the rest of this material can take a deeper root. Also, please know that this repeating and the elementary explanations are in no way any commentary about your coaching skills or intelligence. I’m sure you’ve already been learning some solid and effective skills in coaching. If someone asked you to coach, I’m confident that you’d have a pretty good idea how to do that. This is about building your coaching confidence, which is an essential

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 26 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org element if you’re going to be a working coach. And we’re talking about the basics of Marketing and Building a Business, which right now, up to this point, you still have little experience doing. So, likewise, we need to back up and start with the basics first. Once you know the basics, the rest gets easier. Just like if you know your basic French nouns and verbs, you know enough to make your way around France—and immerse yourself in that environment even more deeply, which will allow you to grow and learn even faster. “So if this is all so easy, then why is everyone I know struggling with the same thing?” Well, aside from the fact that they’re most likely trying to skip steps and jump from “no clients” to “thriving business” all in “three easy steps,” there are two main reasons: 1) They don’t know what to do. They just haven’t learned these skills and techniques. And they haven’t taken advantage of resources like this book to learn powerful beginning and foundation tools and strategies in business building. Or, 2) They know what to do, but they still don’t do it because most likely there is some serious Saboteur action going on. Which one are you? If you are a 1 then great, that means that you’re willing to learn and move forward and any of those many books and resources (including this one) may be of some help. If you’re a 2 then it may not matter how many resources you tap into (including this one), you still may still not get anywhere. “Thanks a lot. You mean I have no hope for me? Then why am I wasting my time reading this?” Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying this to be mean and to discourage you. I’m telling you this because you need to know that it doesn’t matter if you have the key to the car, you have to actually be willing put the key in the ignition and turn it on to make the car move. Likewise, it doesn’t matter how many books and audio programs and workbooks (including this one) you have if you don’t actually do the work. You have to be committed to doing what they tell you. If that’s the case, and you find yourself not willing to do whatever it takes to put this stuff (and whatever else you discover) into action, then I recommend that you bring this matter up with your coach—or get one, or contact me and we can talk. Otherwise, you can be exposed to all you need to know and will not really get or be able to powerfully get into action because there will be some limiting phrase or belief in the way. Something like: “I don’t need to do it their way. I’d rather do it my own way,” or “I’ll do it, but I just have to get a few things set first,” or “Gosh, that sounds hard or scary. Isn’t there some other way?” or whatever your inner conversation may be. My only response to this (because I really don’t know which excuse is running right now) is simply this: You’re a coach. You’re learning your skills to be a coach. You need clients to practice; you need to learn how to build a business. At the heart of it, this is actually one of the easier things that you’ll have to do in the course of building a business as a coach. And if you follow this system, it’ll be even easier—now, as well as later on. Trust me. The time and energy that you invest now will pay off later, but you have to be willing to do the work. The work won’t get done for you. So, once again, now that we’re well into this program, will you commit to following my 5 steps completely? You’ve really got nothing to lose. If this system does work, and you suddenly are swamped with five or more clients, then congratulations. Even if you only get two or three, no

THE BIG WHY Why do you need to start getting clients? Of course this seems like an obvious question that would elicit a “Duh,” response. But aside from that, there are actually some basic reasons to do this that are quite important. a) It’s a requirement for many Coaching Certification programs b) You get to practice your coaching skills. Imagine trying to be a great basketball player by simply reading a book or two and watching a bunch of games. You need to get on the court and start dribbling the ball and shooting. You need to be able to put your skills into action. And without practice clients, you can’t do that. c) You’re also building the skills of marketing and self-acknowledgment (more on that a little later.) d) You’re becoming more familiar with the coaching process. And familiarity breeds confidence.

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e) You’re going to have to start finding your clients eventually, you may as well start now. (Again, the more you practice and work this “muscle”, the better you’ll be at putting yourself out there when it really counts. f) (Include your own other reason here) ______Take a moment to notice what pressures and concerns may be created with each of these reasons. In fact, let’s take a look at some of the common anxieties that seem to come up at this point and nip them in the bud so we can move forward.

QUESTIONS AND CONCERNS THAT YOU MAY HAVE Q: What will happen if I don’t have enough clients? Will they kick me out? A: I know that this is a big concern. I mean, how embarrassing would it be to be asked to leave your program? Imagine, along with the fact that you can’t get your clients, now you’ve actually been requested to cease and desist and to not be a coach any more. (Just so you know, there’s no real truth to this whole “you suck as a coach” thing. It’s just your internal Saboteur giving you its very limiting opinion. If that’s the case, go back, grab, flush, and repeat your empowering phrase). There is some truth to the idea that your program may ask you to leave because that’s its policy. So go back to WHY you need clients in the first place. One of the major reasons is to practice your skills, right? If you don’t have any clients, you can’t very well practice your skills, and so your time in your program is being wasted. Better to hold off until you are in a better position to really learn your skills than to push ahead and get less than half the value of the program. What kind of a coach would you be then? However, it turns out that’s the least of the problems that this fear creates. Let’s look at this for a minute and think about the deeper impact and consequences of this worry. The fact is, what’s going on here is much more serious than just the fear you will be asked to “please remove yourself from the program.” Something much more damaging to you and your aspirations. 1. SELF-FULFILLING PROPHESY: By focusing your attention on “gotta get 5 clients or they’ll throw me out” you actually create even more problems for yourself than not having enough clients. Worrying about potential future punishment actually puts you under even more stress and pressure. Studies show that when your stress level increases, it’s actually harder to think clearly and perform at your best. Now, how are you going to be engaging and attractive to more clients if you’re not able to function at your best? Not only that, but how will your coaching be with any other current clients you may have? And always being worried that you’ll say or do something wrong as a coach that will make them leave you and then you’ll really be screwed only increases your stress levels, which in turn affects your ability to think and perform effectively, which affects your coaching, which feeds your stress, which hinders your skills, which… well, you get the point. It’s an out-of-control merry-go-round

that, once you’re on it, is hard to get off. Not impossible, just hard. The trick to getting out of the trap, believe it or not, is to give up the attachment to your goal. You heard me: Stop focusing on long-range outcomes. By doing so, you also let go of the dreaded consequences that invariably will come from failing at that goal, allowing you to just coach the client in front of you. General Goals Guidelines Imagine what’s possible then. Without that attachment Basic rule of thumb: If your long-range and mega-big weighing you down, you’re able to simply show up as the goals excite, motivate, and pull you skilled coach that you are to your prospective clients. Now, forward, then focus on that compelling of course, this is a great skill to acquire and utilize, and I can five-year plan and go for it with gusto. already hear you pondering how do you actually do it? It However, if you start freaking out may be easy, or it may be challenging (conflicting with some and shutting down and get overwhelmed, you got it, you’re deep fears and programming that you may have) but the good skipping steps, and it’s best to set that news is that you can always reach out and get support. It sure big goal to the side for awhile (you sounds to me like a great topic to bring to your coach. don’t need to drop it) and shift your attention to something that does engage In the meantime, one of the first things you can do is put a you positively. little trust in this process. I’ve said time and again that this system is effective. Not only that, but you’re developing your foundation. And don’t forget my Big Guarantee.7 So aside from all the wonderful work that you’ll be doing with your coach on this topic, take a moment to picture those First Five Clients already. You already have them. Go ahead, you can even use the cover of this book and pretend they are your clients. In fact, you can work through my simple “Franken-Client” exercise to help you shift this focus. 8 Now, consider how differently you might work with these clients knowing that your list is already secure. A little bit different, right? I’m sure you’ve already got a clear idea of what it might be like with a full load, right? So go ahead, give yourself a full load and notice how you would be interacting with your clients (and prospective clients) knowing that you don’t actually need them. You’re probably more relaxed (and dare I say, even confident? It’s amazing how fear is like the monster under the bed. Sometimes all you need to do is shine a light on them and they start to disappear.) It’s Clients are not dollar signs! certainly much better than freaking out and It’s true, you may need the money, desperately clinging to your clients, which but if that’s part of your coaching relationship, you can’t truly be able to could lead to you terrorizing the countryside show up for them fully. and the townspeople will have to hunt you A powerful trick to is to imagine down with torches and pitchforks. And that that you have a million dollars, or that never leads to good. you already have more than enough clients. How would you BE with your 2. THIS KIND OF FLATTERY GETS YOU NOWHERE: client then? Try it out and you’ll see Imagine just how attractive it must be for your clients to sense the difference. And most likely your that the only reason you want to work with them is to meet the client will stick around as well. program requirements so you can stay in class, or that they’re And if they leave, then let them go, find a new client (or two) and move just dollar signs to pay the bills. The truth is: all that our on. The more you do this, the more clients want is to be seen, to be heard, and to be valued. you’ll learn that losing clients is just part of the business.

7 What? Did you forget it already? All right, here it is one more time. “If you follow this workbook and all the steps outlined here to their completion, and you don’t succeed in signing up any practice clients, not a single one, I will offer you four complimentary personal coaching sessions to help you get moving.” Now remember this, cause you might want to call me and take advantage of this incredible offer. 8 You can find an easily free downloadable worksheet of the Franken-Client exercise if you go and visit my website www.bedo.org

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That’s one of the major and most powerful reasons they come to be coached by you in the first place. They need to feel that the time that they spend with you is truly all about them. I know that you’re not intentionally passing this message of desperation to your clients, but be aware that these limiting attachments will actually radiate from you naturally. If you focus so deeply on this concern of “not having enough”, your clients will feel it. They may not know what it is, but they’ll most certainly pick it up. And all those prospects you’re talking to and trying to “get” to be your clients, they’ll read you faster than they would a used car salesman. And that’s not the impression that you want to create. 3. By giving that fear of failure your attention, you’re setting up your intention. I’m talking about “the Law of Attraction“, “The Power of Intention”, “the Secret,” and focusing on abundance and all those other methods and philosophies that suggest the basic tenet that, “You are the master of your future”, “Your words create your world,” or “You are what you think about.” Scores of books, workshops, calls, programs, and teleclasses exist to expand upon this idea. Simply put, if you focus your attention on not having enough clients, and getting kicked out, and how awful and embarrassing that would be, then you’re actually already heading down the path to making it come true. It really becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Why does that happen? Well, it could be that you’re programming the forces of the universe, and that whatever you focus your attention upon, the little coaching gods and spirits hear only the words, not the fact that you want or don’t want. Perhaps they just assume that if you’re thinking about it, then you must want it. And they hear you putting all your attention on “not enough clients,” and they think, “not enough clients? OK. Here’s more of that.” Or perhaps you’re simply rewiring the synapses in your brain for failure each and every time you think that stuff. All your thoughts travel through parts of the brain in distinct pathways from neuron to neuron (this is actually science talking here, and you know you can’t argue with science). Think of our brain like the ground when it rains. If you watch closely, you’ll see the water gather into tiny little streams. As the streams go down the hill, they dig little grooves into the earth, which encourages the water to continue following that same path. And then what happens? The more the water runs, the more the path is cut deeper and wider. This is how rivers are created. More and more water, following the same path, over and over, so that the path is so firmly established, that there is no way the water can go anywhere else. It will always follow the same flow pattern, and end up at the same spot. Your brain is like that. It’s a complex collection of neurons all linking together. Whenever you have a thought, that thought follows a specific pathway in your brain, leading to other specific thoughts and emotions. And the more you do it, the deeper and wider that pathway is dug, and your path is reinforced. In other words, this is how habits are formed. Now consider that your constant failure thoughts are like water traveling through a river bed.

What are You Feeding Your Brain? Each and every time you repeat a failure thought, Remember the transitive property of mathematics? it digs the river deeper, making it harder for the water (If A=C and B=C, then A must = C). to go in any other direction. This also suggests why Therefore, if thoughts are energy, and food is it’s sometimes so hard to hold on to your positive energy, then thoughts are food. If that’s the case, thoughts. Imagine having to dig a whole new then our thoughts are feeding our brain. And that’s pathway for the water to follow. actually how it is. The problem is that the more we feed our brain, the However, as any irrigation farmer knows, once more it wants whatever the food is. you get it going, the force of the water will start to do If we’re chowing down on negative thoughts, it’s its own digging and actually begin to help you create like we’re consuming a tray full of junk food, like one of Acknowledgment “Grease-O-Rama Burgers” that new pathway. with a side order of deep fried Nacho-Tallow strips. And so it is with the thoughts in your brain; We want more and more, again and again, until we’re a bunch of stuffed fatty-boom-ba-latties. We positive and successful thoughts will soon create the become lazy, tired, listless, and empty of life. pathway for more positive and successful thoughts. On the other hand, feeding your brain positive and motivating thoughts that connect with your values Q: Great. So what do I do? I mean, let’s face and aliveness, is more like a healthy meal of lean reality. I don’t have enough clients, and I may be meats, salad or veggies. And when we do that, our “asked to remove myself from the class” if I don’t energy increases, our productivity expands, we accomplish so much more, and we look forward to do something quick. the next day with excitement and possibility. In other words, the more you do it, the easier it gets. A: I completely agree. You need to do something, So the question is, what are you feeding your brain? and fast! Luckily, there are three easy things that you can do right now. And not only are they easy, they’ll quickly start to create that new pathway. You just have to be willing to do the work in the beginning, and stay Another little comment on “Reality” with it until momentum kicks in. All too often we use the small “reality” to support our fears. Some examples of Big Realities. 1. Follow this book to the letter. Do everything  In 1776 America declared independence from that I tell you. Read all this stuff. As I’m sure England and formed a new country. A whole you can see already, this material is more than new country!  China has a wall that extends 4,000 miles long just a quick fix. It’s providing that solid and was all built by hand. BY HAND!! foundation on which to build your Coaching  We can travel around the world (26,000 miles) Confidence and Success. As I mentioned before in less than 2 day's time thanks to two young (and it bears repeating so you won’t forget it,) brothers in Ohio. once you get this stuff down, all the advanced  We can talk to anyone on the planet instantly marketing techniques that you will learn as you through a plastic object because of what Edison insisted on believing could be a reality. go on will be much easier and more powerful.  There are over 8.7 million millionaires in the 2. Give yourself a deadline (say, two or three world and more popping up every day. weeks.) You want to keep your expectations  And there are coaches out there making $100K a year, with overflowing practices and making realistic and give yourself enough time to an amazing impact in the world. And they accomplish this goal, but don’t make it so long were all just like you at one point. that you’ve got all the time in the world and Here’s the reality: People in much more start to procrastinate. Make the date specific. challenging circumstances, often with less Create your plan of action and follow it.9 opportunity, have accomplished more than you or I could have imagined. *Hint: At the end of this book there is a two- What’s “real” is that if you want it, it’s possible. week plan of action. All you need to do is add You just have to be willing to make it so. So what’s the reality that you want to create?

9 For more help in setting powerful goals, visit my website www.bedo.org for my “YES to SMART GOALS” formula audio and worksheet and while you’re there, have fun browsing through all the other free fun stuff to play with.

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in any additional information (like when you’re going to complete reading this book and start finding your clients.) 3. Every day, repeat to yourself your goal and intention. Say it out loud so you can hear your own words: what you will have, the date you will have it, and what you will do to get it. Put it in the present perfect, not the future tense. (“By January 8, I have finished this book.”) Using those words, instead of “will have” or “I think I’ll…” makes a much more powerful statement. Because they evoke in you, not the anticipation of something you may doubt, but the feeling—in the present—of having accomplished something. I’ll talk more about this later on, but basically it’s using all that stuff about intention, abundance and thinking that I mentioned above in the last question and using the power of intention to your advantage. Hey, it’s what politicians do, right? They say something over and over again, with such conviction, that eventually people begin to believe it’s true. So consider this: You’re people, right? That means you’re susceptible to the power of suggestion, too. By saying it over and over to yourself each and every day (no kidding. I mean it) you’re sending out that good vibe, you’re telling the Universe what you really want, you’re reprogramming the paths in your brain—cutting a new stream bed, remember?—and you’re slowly and surely building your new self image. I know it may feel weird, or even seem like you’re telling yourself a big fat lie. “Look, the truth is, you’re not successful,” you may be thinking to yourself. “You’re not even a good coach. And you certainly have no idea how to do this client thing. You should just give this up and go try something else.” Wait a minute! Who’s that talking? It’s sure not me, and it’s sure not your powerful Inner Bombarding your Brain Coach. Sounds to me like it’s just your Saboteur By keeping our thoughts, intentions, and goals in jabbering away mindlessly. So stop for a minute our heads, we’re essentially keeping it a secret, and do a little busting and get back on track. fuzzy, and transient. Yeah, I know it feels weird, but do it anyway. By writing it down, your thoughts are now tangible and therefore more real. In other words, you’re (Remember how we did it? Into the bathroom you creating an alignment with your “inside” world and go.) Trust me, it’s like anything else. The more your “outside” world. You’re also engaging the you do it, the easier it gets. I’ve experienced this muscles in your hands to create the words and countless times with my clients, with the coaches you’re using your eyes to see the words. that I work with, and in my own life, and I can tell When you read it aloud to yourself, your ears hear the words and your mouth is active in creating the you that this stuff works. I don’t know how, I words. On top of all that, you’re bombarding your don’t know why, and I really don’t care. All that’s brain through all the various “channels” of important is that you do it—repeat your phrase information. Not only are you thinking the thoughts, twice a day, every day—and within two weeks, but you’re also seeing, touching, and hearing you will witness something shift. It may not be thoughts coming from your “outside” world, and returning back to your “inside” world, creating a exactly what you were projecting, but something whole new cycle of energy that repeats and repeats, will happen. You will get results. But you have to growing bigger and bigger along the way. do it EVERY DAY. Got it? Good. Q: Do I have to get five clients? Does it mean I won’t be a good coach if I only have three or even less? A: Simply put, the more practice you get, the more you have an opportunity to get better. Of course, just because you have more clients doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be an amazing coach, nor does a small amount of clients lock in that you’ll be lousy. There are other factors involved: how quickly you adapt and learn, the quality of the coaching that you’re providing, the challenges that your clients are

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 33 of 155 providing you (their specific circumstances and difficulties also help you grow), and any other elements that will contribute to your coaching success, like working with your own coach. The more you work with them, the more you’re working your skills. And the more you’re working your skills, the more they will improve. And the more they improve, the stronger you get. And the more familiar you become with coaching. And the more confident you become. And, therefore, the more successful. (Are you beginning to see how this works?) Not only that, but your base will continue to expand. Perhaps now, you’re feeling like five would be more than plenty to manage. How could you possibly handle more? But in time, you’ll get used to that number and you’ll be ready to expand. Anything less than five is also just fine. Know that while your saboteur may tell you you’ll never get more, in truth, this is just the number that you’re starting with. And there’s always room to grow. So five is just a good number to start working with. It certainly can’t hurt. Q: But how can I be confident getting clients if I don’t have clients in the first place? A: Yeah. I get the Catch-22. 10 And when it was brought up earlier in this book and I said I’d talk more about it later. Well, now is later. So the big question is how can you be confident if you don’t have any clients, and how can you get clients if you don’t have any confidence? All I can say is one of them has to show up first. Either you’ll get clients before you get confidence, or the other way around. The trick is, like jump roping, getting started in the cycle can be tough. The good news is that, once started, both sides end up feeding the other. But which one should you get first? On the one hand, I’d say focus your energy on getting the clients first, as it can be easier than getting confidence. And as we know from the cycle, the confidence comes rather quickly once you’re gaining coaching experience. On the other hand, regardless of how much more you think you have to learn that may be keeping your confidence down, realize that you have already acquired some powerful coaching skills. Skills that you have experienced firsthand in your training. Those same skills that have created some amazing impact and changes in your own life. In fact, you know these skills doubly deep—as a client and as a coach. So trust the coaching and the confidence will appear. Again, either way you go, the rest is sure to follow. And it’s my hope and intention that after going through the exercises in the second half of this book, not only will it help you advance in “getting your clients” first, you’ll have a deeper knowledge about yourself and your coaching that will help encourage that confidence to start showing up. Q: How much should I charge? When They Pay, Everybody Wins. A: The simple answer is: whatever your services are worth. There are additional benefits when your client is paying a “fee” of some sort for All right, I’ll give a little more attention to that question. your coaching (not necessarily cash— There are various schools of thought on this. Some experts bartering services is quite welcome) Not only will you strive to “earn” your tell you that you should be charging the standard rate that the fee with your coaching, but your clients market bears, or that you should charge as much as you can get will also expect a level of commitment or even double your rates, or that you should undercut to be and skill from you as well. In other even more appealing and attractive. While these suggestions words, not only will they come to the each have their truth, it’s important to ask yourself whether call with something personally invested and at stake, they’ll be less likely to let you slack as well. 10 Great book. I recommend you check it out. Everybody wins.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 34 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org they are appropriate for you in your current Stage. In fact whenever you come across any brilliant information about what you should do to build your business, it’s important to first determine if it’s applicable to you RIGHT NOW. If it is, then use it. If it’s not, then file it away for later. Otherwise, it’s like getting tips on how to run a marathon when you have yet to make it around the block. As exciting as all these experts with their super systems sound, you need to consider two critical factors. First, remember that you’re in Stage One of Marketing and Business Building. You’re currently an unknown commodity. Sure, some people may be willing to pay $600 a month or more for coaching (and if you can find a client like that, go for it), but that’s usually for a coach who’s already well established as an expert in their field. They have a proven reputation that justifies their price. Right now, you’re not at that level (that’s for when you arrive at Stage Three.) Secondly, keep in mind that Stage One is the stage of product development. At this point, you need clients to help you practice your skills and build your confidence. You need that “focus group” to help you with your “product development.” So really, it’s in your best interest to lower your rates to a level that both you and the client find acceptable. There are a couple of benefits to this. First of all, you’ll most likely be coaching people who couldn’t afford a more high-priced coach, and yet they’ll be experiencing some pretty decent coaching from you—coaching that will continue to grow and improve right before their very eyes. And you will get to witness their growth and change as well. The trick in all this is that, while being affordable, you also Setting the Example want to honor your coaching. Make sure you establish for When you devalue or compromise yourself before you start negotiating, both how high and how low your coaching, you’re also you’re willing to go. Are you willing to take any pro bono clients establishing how you want others to see your coaching. You’re setting the or not? Declare for yourself your own parameters so that you feel example. that your coaching is respected. And as you continue to meet Likewise, if you hold your skills in with prospective clients, be willing to make some adjustments to high regard, with value, then you’re your “pricing plan”. When talking with others, you may discover indicating to the rest of the world to things you hadn’t considered before that you’ll want to say, “Yes, your coaching is important and valuable.” incorporate into your “pricing plan”. So for now, regardless of how you (or For example, while it is important to attribute some sort of your saboteur) may see your coaching, value to the coaching, realize that there are other ways to pay how do you want others to feel? besides money. Maybe your client does great massages or is a personal trainer or can cook fabulous meals and you can then barter your services as a fair trade. And what if your client is skilled with web development, or graphic work, or bookkeeping? These are definitely services that you can take advantage of to help you build your business, perhaps while they are building theirs. “But what about complementary or Pro-Bono clients that get coached for free?” That can be fine, too. Just make sure that the agreement is within your own boundaries. If you accept a lowered rate that’s below your own comfort zone, or free clients, then most likely there will be a resentment or frustration that could begin to seep into your coaching. That’s not to say you should never accept those clients, but that you keep within your own limits. The way to do that is to remember to design it so that you always get something in return for your coaching. “But isn’t that contradictory to free coaching?”

Not at all. You may not be getting money, but you can get information or experience instead. As I will mention a few times in this book, your First Five Clients get to become your R&D team11 as well as your WOM team.12 As long your building your coaching agreement with them, you can also design what you need from them to make this a win-win for everyone involved.13 So another thing you can work into the deal is that in exchange for the reduced rate, your clients will tell their friends about the work you’re doing. Word of mouth is powerful advertising. Also, you might include a request for a testimonial or client comments when the coaching has completed.14 These little extras can help make the transition into Stage Two much easier. Q: Can I coach my family or friends, or do they have to be complete strangers? A: Wow. Another great question. “Thank you.” You’re welcome. I actually have two answers for this. If you’re in Stage Two or Three, by all means, don’t try to coach your family or friends. However, if you’re in Stage One, I say go for it. They’re easy to talk to about this whole coaching thing you’re doing because you already know them and have a familiarity with them. Also, most likely they will end up being some of your biggest cheerleaders. They will be supportive of you and your training, and they’ll even be more likely to talk about you and what they’re getting from your work with others in your circle. This may lead to more clients, or at the very least, will help create a stronger support system for you to rely on. So chances are your friends and family are resources where you may find some of your first clients. However, be aware that you will also need to call upon some pretty serious “Self Management”. These are people that you know, that you have current relationships with, perhaps even travel in the same social circles, and therefore you also have developed opinions and agendas for them. So be aware of that. It’s actually great practice for you to let go of any attachment that you may have to what they “should” do, and really be committed to helping them discover their own direction. Either way, it’s up to you to be responsible for the impact you’re creating with your client. It may take some clear boundaries, specific Designing of Alliance, and making sure you’re Co-Creating a “Coaching” relationship that is independent of your other relationship with them. The general rule of thumb is, “the closer they are in relationship” the harder it is to coach. So keep that in mind when you’re looking for clients. Of course, if you are uncomfortable with the idea of coaching family or friends, that’s fine, too. You don’t have to take them on as clients. Another alternative is to do a “swap” with another coach who is also looking for clients. Perhaps they have someone close who will be challenging for them that you could take over. This way, everybody wins. Q: Should I take any client I can get? What if it doesn’t feel right?

11 In other words Research and Development. Every business needs one, so why not you? 12 That would be “Word of Mouth”. You know, like that old commercial, “They’ll tell two friends, and they’ll tell two friends, and so on, and so on…” 13 And in fact, if they’re helping you refine and discover your coaching more deeply, and spreading the word, and sharing names of their friends that they think would also get benefit from your coaching, it’s really more like a WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN. And that’s not too bad for free coaching, huh? 14 By the way, since we’re talking about it, I would love it if you would take a few moments of your time to send me a quick email to [email protected] and let me know what you got from this book. What works? What about it would you recommend to others?

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A: Your timing is perfect. I was just about to go there. Did you hear that? As you are looking for clients and building your practice, Sometimes it pays to listen to the little voice that’s talking to you. It’s not the adjusting your rates, and all of that, PLEASE always remember Saboteur, but more like your “Inner that even if you feel desperate for clients, no matter how badly Wisdom” or your Intuition talking. you think you need them, you don’t have to take EVERYONE as The more we get to know that voice, a client—especially the ones that don’t feel right. The sample usually, the better we’re guided. session you provide is always a two-way street. While they’re Not only that, but that voice will also show up in your coaching and tell you checking you out, you are checking them out—getting a sense of where you might need to go with your their energy, their goals and obstacles, how they interact with client. So start practicing getting to you—basically, you’re getting an idea of what they might be like know that voice now. as a client. And if you aren’t comfortable with what you’re experiencing, DON’T AUTOMATICALLY TAKE THEM ON. Respectfully let them know that you don’t feel that you would be the right coach for them, but that you’re willing to give them the names of some other coaches. (It’s always a good idea to have a few alternate coaches that you can refer to and recommend. Likewise, they can have you as their alternative.) Think of it like dating. How many times has that first date been a Boundaries great indication of what that relationship is going to be like? Sure, not If we don’t have boundaries, it always, I’ll admit this isn’t an exact science. But that crazy girl, or can be really easy to extend ourselves beyond our limits of self-centered guy, is very probably going to stay that way. And is that comfort. After that, resentment someone that you want a relationship with? It’s the same with comes in, along with frustration coaching. You are, in fact, creating a relationship with your client, and irritation. Before you know one that you both will need to feel comfortable in and empowered by. it, even when they think that everything is OK, coach and I’m not saying you should hold out for the “perfect” client. Many client are out of alignment. clients will present you with challenges, and it’s those challenges that Then even little harmless things will help you grow stronger. It’s all part of your Stage One Product in an already unstable Development. However, it won’t be of any use to take on a client that environment have a huge impact. (By the way, this is common is super challenging way beyond your abilities. with all relationships.) So first Think of it this way. When you’re learning to swim, it can be fine establish clearly and cleanly your own boundaries, and then to go in water a little over your head, but you don’t want to toss negotiate them with your client yourself into the churning rapids. so that you create the common and aligned boundaries of the So if it doesn’t feel right, be the responsible coach and let them go. relationship. You’ll be grateful you did. Q: What happens when my clients disappear or complete after one or two calls? A: First off, it’s important to realize that clients disappear for something like 1,234 different reasons (Okay, I pulled that number out of my hat, but I know there are a lot) and the reason of “because you are a lousy coach” is very low on that list. Very low. Remember, as we’ve already discovered, that stinging phrase is more likely to be in your head than in theirs, it’s just that persistent Saboteur conversation that’s got to be getting tiring by now. Don’t worry. You know what to do. In fact, this time, grab him by the tail or ear and toss him in the blender or food processor. Add a little water (don’t forget to put the lid on, there’s nothing worse than Saboteur puree all over the ceiling) and then press the buttons and watch the whirling fun. When your former nemesis has reached the proper consistency, simply pour him/her unceremoniously down the drain. I’ll just wait here while you take care of it.

There, now that you’re back—and Saboteur-free, right? (Revisit your Saboteur Sympathizing empowering phrase if you need to)—also remember that your client’s I know this treatment may disappearing or completing is more likely all about them and their own seem harsh and violent, and that you may want to be a Saboteurs flaring up and really may not have much or anything at all to do little nicer to your Saboteur. with you. Don’t worry. They’re a sturdy The fact is, if they disappear or complete, then the truth of the matter is lot and can take anything you dish out. They’re quite they’ve simply disappeared or completed, and it’s not about you. In fact, resilient. So grinding, when that happens, you really have three basic options on how to respond. chopping, slicing, and dicing won’t harm or permanently 1. Let them go and turn your attention to finding your next client, one get rid of them. If you feel who is ready and wanting to work with you, or… better, though, you can always 2. Let them go and curl up in a corner with a pint of just toss them out the window. Ben and Jerry’s Chubby Hubby and have a good cry. Of the two, I suggest going with option 1. It’s much more fun and less dangerous for the waistline. “But wait a minute. You said…” Yes, I know. I said you have three options. The usual trap people fall into is thinking they have only two options, and then they feel stuck or screwed either way. In this case, however (and in pretty much all cases) there is a third option to consider—and it is the one that successful and confident coaches prefer. You may not be there yet, but you will be, so you might as well get to know it. 3. You could BE a confident and powerful coach and go after them. That’s right, challenge them. Let them know that their fears or concerns are a very natural response to suddenly finding themselves outside their comfort zone. Get curious (and in the process, suggest they might want to get curious, too) about what is influencing their decision (Saboteurs, Gremlins, and Critics— Oh my!). In fact, just because they are choosing not to be your client (at that moment) you can still apply some of your coaching skills to this situation. What a great opportunity to practice “Holding your Client’s Agenda” by focusing on what direction will best serve them rather than what will serve you. What a prime opportunity to “love your client” and show up fully for them as the coach that you wish to be. Not continuing with you may indeed be what they need to do, and by coaching them to that point, you will have, in fact, done your job well. In other words, don’t chase them because you need a client. That’s your Agenda, right? Besides, they don’t care about your needs that much anyway, if at all. Nor should they. But by focusing on their Agenda, you, as a coach, can powerfully show the person who ought to continue working with you why that might be to their benefit. (Show them, rather than tell or try to convince them.) It’s part of calling them forth and holding them to higher expectations than they may be holding themselves. Whether they return or leave at that point doesn’t matter really, because you’ve shown up fully as a coach. Even in leaving, they’ve helped you become stronger. (Ain’t it amazing how there’s possibility for growth in everything?) In fact, in my early days, some of my best coaching was with clients who were completing their time with me. Why is that? Well, think about it. When you’re getting fired, basically, you’ve got nothing to lose. There’s a little safety switch in your brain that normally says something like, “You know, I have no idea what I’m doing, and I better not push my client too far or do something wrong, otherwise they might fire me.” There’s a lot of “right/wrong” things going on here, and that invariably leads to holding back and playing small. But guess what? They’re “firing” you, right? So that little voice now says something like, “Heck, I can’t

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 38 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org make it worse. I can’t be so bad that they’ll double fire me.” In fact, sometimes that little voice sets out to prove a point, “All right. You want to complete? Fine. I’ll show you what real coaching is and what you’ll be missing.” Which is fine. Now, go get ‘em, Tiger. Just be sure to keep your focus on standing for your clients’ greatness—what’s best for them. It’s not about getting them back as a client, as it is about giving them the coaching that they are yearning for, even if it’s for that final call. And then, as I said, you can end your coaching relationship feeling complete. Q: Ok, so my client wants to work with me, but it’s continually a challenge for them to commit to a specific date and time for our session. What do I do? A: There’s a trap that we as coaches can easily fall into, and that’s how it’s “supposed to look.” Truthfully, there is no correct way that a coaching relationship has to be played out. Some coaches work with their clients on a weekly basis, others three times a month, others bi-weekly, while other coaches have an “open call” policy with no actual locked-in appointments. Some coaches have laser sessions that last for 15 minutes, others for over an hour. There is no hard and fast rule. The common standard that most coaches work with is four weekly calls a month, each 30-45 minutes long. There are benefits to this structure, as there are drawbacks. The trick is for you to find out what works best for you, and whatever doesn’t, make the modifications. Now, I know that your initial question concerned a specific client’s inability to commit and be consistent. But before you can expect anything from your client, you need to establish what your parameters and boundaries are. What’s the desired length of your calls from your perspective? How many times a week do you want to talk? Do you prefer a set date and time or keeping it more loose? How does that option serve you? (This is where you can also work in the “how much do you want to charge” conversation.) This whole little exercise is not about what your client wants, or what you may be able to settle for or get away with. This is all about what YOU want. Get that clear and established first. Why? Simple, so that you have something clear to bring to your prospective clients. This Challenge or Opportunity? way, when you’re talking about their working By seeing the issues and obstacles that arise with our clients as a “problem” our natural defenses pop up, with you, you can lay out the possibilities (or making it difficult to come up with a “solution.” your preferred way of working) and then figure And we are trained to believe from our math education, out together how their needs could best be met for every “problem” there is only one “solution.” within that framework. You may stick rigidly to On the contrary, for every obstacle, there are a multitude your parameters or choose to modify or deviate of ways to approach it. This is your opportunity to discover that “3rd” option (or 5th or 8th). Get curious. from them to accommodate your client, but then Get your client curious. This is your opportunity to it will be a conscious and intentional choice on partner with your client instead of trying to do it alone. your part, and a clear message to them that you It’s an opportunity to make it a game as to how many are serious about this commitment and a possible ways you can handle this “problem”. reminder that you have a life, too. It’s an opportunity to make it a game show, with fabulous prizes if you create a coaching structure. All of this, by the way, will also be great It’s an opportunity to pretend you two are detectives, material for your INTAKE / EXPLORATION / searching to unravel the “Mystery of the Missing Client.” DISCOVERY session. This is where you get to It’s an opportunity for you to discover how many opportunities there possibly are.

“Design the Coaching Relationship” and establish a set of agreements about how the coaching will best serve and support you and your client.15 Now you have some ground to stand on. When your client starts flopping around, you can go back to the initial conversation, remind them of what you talked about. Challenge them to step out of their comfort zone. Hold them accountable. Yes, I know you’re concerned about losing them as a client, but the fact that they’re getting squishy with the coaching is actually great training for you. It’s not like this will be an isolated incident. Ten years from now—you’re well into your business, you’re powerfully established and you’re awesome at what you do—you’ll still have people getting squishy. So you get to learn how to deal with that situation right now. One thing to remind them of is the old adage, “In order to get different results, you have to create different action.” You may also have heard other versions of this like, “If you continue to do what you’ve always done, then you’ll always get what you always got,” or “the definition of insanity: doing the same thing and expecting different results.” Basically, clients have a hard time committing to our calls not because we’re bad coaches, nor because they are bad clients (there is no such thing as either) but because their comfort zone is being challenged, and their old Saboteur is coming out and creating some discomfort for them. Great. Like the old Selsun Blue commercials, “That sensation lets you know that it’s working.” So use that to your advantage. Point it out to your client, let them know you’re on their team. Also, take a moment and ask yourself what you would want from your own coach, and give it a try with your client. Finally, it’s important for both of you to remember that simply knowing something intellectually, and even signing up as an act of commitment, does not actually create change. It can be a great start, but that alone is not enough. Otherwise, all we would need to do to lose weight and make millions of dollars is to buy a book and put it on the shelf. Or perhaps read it. “There, now I’ve read it. Now let the weight come off and the money come in.” It doesn’t work too well that way.16 What does work is having all that information at your disposal and then putting it into action— persistently and consistently. That’s where real change is created. Sometimes we get caught up in the “idea” of something, but we really don’t want to actually do the work. Coaching, real coaching, is about committing to do the work. See, I’m not really giving you a clear answer as to what to do, because there really is no clear answer. It’s all depending on what you want, what your client wants, and what you’re both willing to do. And if you’re not, then perhaps they are not your client and it’s time to let them go. (There is great learning in that as well.) Q: The deadline is approaching fast, and I’m running out of time. What if they say “No” and don’t want to be my client? A: Then you’re no worse off than when you started. By the way, if you’re going to succeed as a coach, you’re going to have to learn how to face getting “nos”. The sad and hard truth is that not everyone will want to hire you. And trying to avoid all the “nos” in your life is like trying to avoid all the “heads” of a coin. However, remember that “tails” is on the other side, and that means “yeses”. You can’t avoid one without missing out on the other. Open

15 Not every coach does this, and there’s no set rule that you have to. It’s just a great way to create a solid foundation and relationship with your client, right at the beginning. You can download a guideline to follow at my website www.bedo.org 16 And while it would sure make life a whole lot easier, it would make coaching pretty boring.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 40 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org yourself to both, and you’ll get both. Yes, that does mean “nos” will come along as well, they’re a part of the game, but this way, you’ll also be getting some “yeses”. And that’s what you want. The fact is, we tend to take the “nos” rather personally. And with the pressure of time and consequences piling up, those “nos” can be pretty frustrating, and even downright painful. Remember that it’s just a person saying “no” as you might if someone asked if you wanted sushi for lunch. Perhaps you are in the mood for sushi and are ready to chow down. But what if you’re not in the mood, or you just don’t like it? Then you simply turn it down. The sushi itself isn’t going to take it personally and cry from rejection, and neither should you. Because the sushi knows that while you’re not going to take advantage of it, there will be someone else who will come along who will greatly appreciate all that the sushi has to offer.17 And the same is true with you. The problem is on top of the “nos” there is a deadline, which increases the pressure, and then our cracks begin to show. What if the deadline wasn’t for another month or two? Or no deadline at all? How would you be with your prospective client then? How might you handle that “no” then? The trick is to let go of the burden and pressure of time (if it’s at all possible) so you can focus on the task at hand. Besides, if it’s all about you getting a client in a particular time frame, then it’s not about your clients getting a coach, right? So ask yourself this: You’ve got to get clients in a limited time frame, or else you suffer. Your client has a problem and you can help them, or else they suffer. Which one do you think would be a more attractive reason for your clients to say “yes” to your coaching? Bingo! Q: This is harder than I thought. Should I give it up? A: This is a great question. You’re becoming more aware of the fact that there are a lot of factors involved in building a successful coaching practice. In fact, just like “Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn,” you are a business, and your product, instead of the “light and tasty, diet water-burger”, is your coaching. Therefore, as with the chain of command that stretches all the way from Bennie himself, to Wallace the fry cook, to Ivy who cleans the leftover food off the floor, many different jobs must be taken on and performed if your business is going to grow. You are the CEO, the CFO, the Marketing and R&D departments, the Sales Team, Human Resources, Catering, secretary, copy boy, janitor, and all those other jobs, as well as the Product itself, “Your Coaching.” Like “Bennie’s”, most organizations employ different people to fill these positions. Here, it’s you, and only you, running the whole show. This also explains why it will most likely take a while to get things going—because you’re actually doing about twenty jobs all at once even before you get to coach. So yes, it can be challenging. But should you give up this crazy dream of yours? Well, as is often the case, there are actually two answers to this question. It’s up to you to decide which one fits you. A) Should you give it up? The answer is… Yes. If you completely refuse to take on the roles and tasks involved in building a business, and you’re unwilling to promote yourself or create a partnership so you can share some of the overhead and support systems, then yes, you ought to consider giving up this mad dream of coaching for a living. Actually, in that case, you really won’t need to quit, cause you’ll have no business to leave anyway. (Also, no income, no arena in which to practice your skills, and no guiding purpose.) So in that sense, the choice is an easy

17 That is, if sushi had emotions and a personality. Look, I know it’s an inanimate object. Just go with it. Use your imagination.

one. In fact you’ve probably had a lot of practice deferring your dreams. No new-skill mastering required there. 2) Should you give it up? The answer is… No. If you have any sort of lingering passion inside that insists that you have to do this work, no matter what it takes, stay with it. And really, as I keep telling you (so repeatedly that eventually you’ll have to believe it), it’s not that hard once you get into it. If you can begin to accept that coaching is an ongoing journey—for you as much as for your clients—filled with constant learning and growing, and that you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone, and ask for help, and be willing to fail, you will eventually discover the success that you desire and deserve. It takes commitment and persistence. Also, remember, although it may feel like you’re alone, there are thousands of coaches dealing with exactly the same struggles that you’re currently experiencing. There are thousands of coaches who have been through it already and come out on top. And there are thousands more who will follow after you, and most likely will be looking at you as one of those they’d like to emulate. And, as I have mentioned, there are plenty of classes, books, telecalls and workshops that you can utilize to keep you moving and focused… not to mention your own coach. But, as I said, only you can answer this question. Q: But what if I give it up? Then all that time and money would be a waste. A: Only if you let it be a waste. The truth is no matter what direction you choose to take, your training and coaching education needn’t be wasted. While there are thousands of coaches who have continued on with building a successful one-on-one practice, there are just as many (if not more) who have moved on to other jobs and careers. The beauty of all this is that you can apply your coaching skills to anything that you do. Even if you go back to your previous job, your experience can be radically different now, mainly because you will be radically different. You will have learned powerful skills of communication and focus that will impact your work and everyone with whom you work. Let’s say, instead of pursuing coaching, you went and got a job at Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn (I hear they’re hiring), your interactions with your co-workers, the customers, the distributors and suppliers, even with Bennie himself, will reflect your newly acquired coaching skills. Trust me, you show up very differently than you would have if you had gone to work there before coaching. Your impact will be more powerful, because you will be showing up “as a coach.” Basically, although you might not Five Client Check-in: technically be DOing coaching, deep down you’ll still BE a By the way, how are you doing with coach. And that is where the true power of coaching lies all this? Is it making sense? Are you anyway. still engaged and committed to your initial date of client completion? Also, if you do choose to remain in the coaching field, there (Ah-ha! Did you forget what it was? are a multitude of possible directions you can take. You may do Go back to the beginning of this book one-on-one coaching, in either a part-time or a full practice. and double check what you wrote You may go into teaching; you may decide to specialize in group down as far as WHEN you wanted those First Five Clients. coaching, relationship coaching, or corporate coaching. You Are you still on track? What may combine your coaching with another focus or skill set, such adjustments do you need to make to as wealth building, real estate, health and wellness, job keep yourself on pace? transition, downsizing, following one’s passions, writing One of the things you could do is projects, increasing intimacy, sex coaching, gay and lesbian contact me at bedo.org and schedule that complementary call so I can help living, women in the workplace, new parents, single parents, you zoom to the end with success. getting through divorce, dating, or any of the many other target

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 42 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org groups and niches out there.18 (Finding your special niches can be powerful and important, but, as I mentioned earlier, you may not discover what yours is right away. Often it’s hard to know what your niche is when you’re just starting off in coaching. So don’t worry about that for now. You’ll figure that piece out when you have a little more experience behind you.) In sum, as long as you commit to following your path, there is no “right” or “wrong” place to end up, or to apply your skills. It’s all up to you and how you define your success. Q: All right. So how about this? If you could go back in time and tell yourself one thing as you were starting out, knowing what you know now, what would you say? A: What an amazing coach-like question. Clearly you are suited for this profession. In fact, what a great question you can ask your potential clients (as you'll see later on when we talk more about the “sales” portion of this book.) But to your question. And I've been asked this often by coaches just like you. So if I could go back in time, there would be three things that I would tell myself. FIRST: I knew when I got into coaching that I had to treat it like a business. I knew there was more to BEing a powerful and successful coach than just having some good skills. I also knew that I didn't know anything about business building, entrepreneurship, marketing, and sales. And I also knew that I would have to learn that stuff quickly if I was going to survive, let alone succeed. And not just from a single book or program, but from many resources. I would have to practice it and stretch and grow in ways that I wasn't comfortable, and give up the “I know this” attitude default, and keep doing it for the bigger picture of becoming a successful coach. In fact, that is, in part, what you are doing right now in this book. I'm guessing that if you've gotten this far, you're not too comfortable and knowledgeable in the world of creating business, as I was. Don't worry, as I'll mention later on, there are many other resources you can tap into to expand your learning and experience.19 This is just getting you started. SECOND: I would tell myself to make sure that every day... EVERY DAY... I do something to build and grow my business. There's a big difference between working IN my business and working ON my business. Working IN ends up being all the catch up emails, the drudgery, and even the exciting coaching calls with my clients. Working ON is entirely different. This is where I devote my time and energy to developing new products (like this book) or marketing approaches, or workshops and classes, or expanding my skill set. And if every day I can do something—even one little thing—to grow, then I'll feel positive, and be able to look back and feel that I've given everything I had to BE Successful. That's what I want for you. So make the commitment today, TODAY, to do one thing, no matter how big or little it may be, EACH AND EVERY DAY from this point on. Trust me. You'll be glad that you did. Why? Well, I could go into this whole thing about discipline, and creating energy, and small steps to eventually circle the earth, but I'm sure you get the point. THIRD: This is a long journey, filled with hills and valleys. Building a business takes a lot of work. Complete commitment and consistency. And you will be guaranteed bigger and more challenging obstacles than this small little factor of Finding Your First Five Clients! (As I keep saying, you'll discover that this is the easiest stage of the three. I know you don't believe me, but you will.)

18 The possibilities are endless. Go ahead, think of a non-coaching job and imagine how it might be impacted with your coaching experience and knowledge. See? Go on, try another one. No matter what, these coaching techniques apply. Even better, this is also an indicator to the fact of just how many different people in different situations that you can coach. 19 Don't forget, my website lists many individuals, classes, books and audio programs that I've found to be highly helpful. And you can always call me. I'm happy to pass on what I know.

There are three critical things that you must have if you are going to survive the long haul. a) A clear idea of who you are. (You'll get some of this information in this book—clarifying your Values, Strengths, and other elements. But it doesn't end here. The journey of self- discovery is never ending. And the deeper you know yourself, the more solid you can stand.) b) A clear vision as to where you are going. We won't spend a lot of time on that, but having a vision is critical. If you're going on vacation, you always have a destination first, right? The same is true as you embark upon your journey of success. This also includes what makes coaching important for you. Because if it ain't personally and powerfully worth doing, then it ain't worth doing. c) A solid team. Friends and Family and classmates are a good beginning. You want people who can support you when it's tough, celebrate when you succeed, and keep you focused and committed when you want to slip and slide. A coach of your own is also really good for that. Not only that, but having a coach or mentor will help you deepen your experience of coaching, allowing you to stand behind your own product even more powerfully. You need people who believe in you. Because although we say, “Seeing is believing”, the truth is “Believing is Seeing.” In other words, the more you believe you can succeed, the more you will see that you can succeed. Q: Great. I get it. I’m ready to continue. Now, what do I do? A: Is that another question? “No, I really mean it. Just about all my concerns are cleared up and I’m ready to move. I want to get going and find my first five clients. What do I do now?” Be patient. “Again? More patience?” Yep. Trying to rush to get your five clients is like trying to make that leap to the top of the Empire State Building. It may be doable, if you’re King Kong.20 But if you take the time here to develop and practice the skill of patience, I think you’ll be glad you did when you enter Stage Two and really start Marketing your business, where you’re really going to need it. I mean, did you think you would just put your website up and within minutes the phone would be ringing off the hook and your email box would be packed with customers? If you have more questions... “I don’t know. I guess so. That sure would be a lot easier Contact me at [email protected] or 630- than all this stuff.” 484-2336 for a complimentary Well, you’re in for a little surprise. Building a successful customizing call. Even though this book is packed with vital information coaching business takes time—time, along with commitment, and it's pretty applicable to just about consistency, focus, planning, investment, and plenty of patience. everyone who reads it, I also know that Better get used to it. everyone is different. So I'm happy to talk with you for a full So before we leap to the action steps (remember, feeling hour to deepen your learning of this overwhelmed is inevitably traced back to skipping steps) let’s material and personalize its application look at the core of what marketing is all about. to be sure that you're getting the absolute most out of this book.

20 But even he encountered some serious problems, as you’ll recall, on consolidating his position

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 44 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org WHAT IS MARKETING? Simply put, Marketing is spreading the word. That’s it. That’s all it really is. Marketing is NOT about getting clients, making the sale, increasing income or business. It’s letting the world know who you are, and what you have to offer. Think about every commercial, magazine ad, billboard, and promotional tie-in you’ve ever seen—those late-night infomercials, those discount coupons in the mail, that Starbucks logo on your coffee cup, the Nike symbol on your shoes, the name printed across your plastic grocery bags— they’re all marketing techniques. In fact, the big irony is that many of these companies have figured out a way to get fantastically free advertising by way of you. That’s right, when you go to visit Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn and you leave with a “Bodacious Bag O’ Food” with the logo emblazoned across it, you’re actually a walking advertisement. Everyone that you meet, will also see that logo. They’ll see you eating that Chocolate-Chip, Strawberry Burger with the image on the wrapper and they’ll know instantly where you got it from, and they’ll connect it with that happy, satisfied look on your face which will keep poking at them to get one of their own. And when you throw the bag away, they’ll still see it in the garbage, and imagine how sated the purchaser must be. And again, they’ll want to get some of their own. Now, of course, all of this is not necessarily a conscious reaction; passers-by may not even realize they’ve just been marketed to. Quite the contrary, most of the marketing that we’re subjected to is subtle, even subliminal. In fact, there’s so much advertising out there that we’re hardly even conscious of most of it. But it still works, it’s just happening on a lower sub-conscious level. Go ahead. Take a walk or a drive for an hour downtown. Watch TV for an hour. In fact, do anything, and keep track of just how many products, services, and companies you notice, and all the different ways that they get into your awareness. If you’re paying attention, you’ll realize that on any given day, you’re being pelted with perhaps a hundred different products. That’s marketing. And, take note: Marketing is very different than Sales. It’s important to be clear about this: Sales is just that—making the sale, actually taking the order (we’ll get to that later on.). It’s when one person agrees to make a purchase and money or other “currency” is exchanged for goods or services. Here, maybe this will help make this important distinction more vivid, because you need to get this into your bones. Let’s go back to Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn. Remember Stage Two: Building a Business? This is when Bennie has already perfected his jelly burger recipe and is ready to reach out and connect to the public. First, he purchases a billboard to post his promo on the highway. He partners with other companies who do mailers to all the residences in the neighborhood and he offers “free deep fried peanut butter sticks” to every customer who brings in the coupon and purchases a jelly-burger. He also buys T-Shirts for all the workers to wear, and has his Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger logo printed on all the napkins, plates, bags, straws, forks, bibs (for the drippy lobster-burger), coffee creamers, and even chopsticks (for the wasabi sushi-burger). But he doesn’t stop there. He donates 100 Atomic Fireball Burgers and cayenne milkshakes for a special eating competition featuring some local celebrities. Bennie’s has a tent at the street fair, serving little mini tripe-burgers to the public (with logos on all the napkins and bibs). He sponsors the morning

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 45 of 155 radio show where the DJ says, “Wake up! It’s 5:30 am and it’s time to greet the new day. Brought to you by Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn home of the famous S’more-Burger. Just one bite and you’ll be saying ‘S’more, please.’ And now for the news...” And finally, he appears on the local news, highlighting new businesses in town, to show everyone how easy to make and tasty his special maraschino burgers are to eat. All of this is to help everyone in the neighborhood and beyond know that Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn exists and that they have great burgers. It’s all designed to get you to want to head on down to Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn. Get clear about this, though; so far, all Bennie has done is get you interested and curious about what he has to offer. You haven’t purchased anything. Irish O’Marketing Because all this was just, yep, you got it, marketing—all of it just Consider that Marketing is an extension, if you will, of the sign in front of the store. Marketing. simply building a relationship. Keep that in mind with You still haven’t purchased anything, there has been no sale. All of whatever you are doing. this effort on Bennie’s part has been just marketing. When you enter, Everything that you're doing is you see “Bennie, the Big, Bad and Bodacious Burger,” which is really reaching out to create relationships with new people. a man walking around in a big, bad, bodacious, foam rubber, burger 21 If we look at the old Irish suit —more marketing, designed to get you excited about being there. saying, “A stranger is just a You see the counter with the menu above, with all those tantalizing friend you haven't met,” then photos of their food—more marketing. As you make your way down perhaps the coaching version the line, you see all the people leaving with their trays of food—the would be, “A stranger is just a client you haven't met.” delicious smells along with the actual burgers and all those logos on everything together create a very irresistible combination. Actually, to be even more precise, everything Bennie’s has done up to this point is all what’s considered “passive” marketing, which means that they’re putting their name and image and information out there in the hope that you come across it and will get interested enough to head for Bennie’s Big Bad etc. Barn. Passive marketing, though it is generally more widespread than other, isn’t generally as effective, however, with enough repeated exposures, it becomes harder to resist and ignore. Think about how many times you see the same commercial over and over again. It’s passive—you’re quite free to turn away and ignore it, even change the channel—but repetitive. Of course, Bennie’s knows that, it’s all designed just to get you in the door. That’s when they can shift to the next style of marketing which is more direct. Also known as “direct” or “active” marketing, this type is much more specific and interactive; and although it’s directed towards a smaller group of people—known as the “target audience” (in Bennie’s case, those who have entered the establishment and are now standing in line)— it’s much harder to resist. The salesgirl says you’re next in line and even before you get to order, what does she do? That’s right, more marketing. They want you so pumped and ready to order everything you see. So she first says, “Welcome to Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious Burger Barn, where our burgers are a blessing that can’t be beat. Would you like to try our special today?” “What’s that?” you innocently inquire, when really, you know in your burbling gut that you’re already hooked. “Why it’s the special escargot-burger with seaweed toppings and a tasty salt-water sauce. It’s only $5.49. And if you like, you can order the whole meal for an additional $1.99—that’s a side order of our

21 More likely a college student earning minimum wage. But a job is a job. Heck, it’s honest work. I was once an Oreo cookie.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 46 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org brine-fries dipped in pickle juice, and served with our sea foam shake.” More marketing, that’s starting to evolve into a sales conversation. And this time, it’s direct, and with that sweet smile, how could you possibly say “no”? And NOW comes the sale. So summing up, there’s usually something like this chain of progression:22  First, passive marketing—widespread, exposing your product to as many people as possible. It’s a numbers game. And the more you do it, over and over again, the more response you’ll get. We’ll be putting a version of this to use in your 5-step plan later on. Into this category will also fall, for example, your website and flyers and brochures.  Second, direct and active marketing. Once people know about you Where on the Web? and have expressed interest in your product, you can describe Even with an awesome website, more directly (and in more personally tailored form) what you you still have to drive your customer to your website. And offer. If you are able to see their reactions and respond to them with the billions and billions of and their questions, then it’s direct marketing. While you are sites out there, the possibility of connecting here with a smaller number of potential customers, someone just happening upon it their experience of you is much more personal (and it’s harder to are quite slim. Yes, you can resist or ignore when there is a face and a voice attached to the optimize and create keywords, and all those wonderful web product.) This type of marketing would include things like placement tricks, but that is also workshops and teleclasses that you might give. a type of Marketing. You still have to actively put yourself out  Finally, the sale—when the customer begins truly expressing there and focus on generating specific desires and interests, when they share their needs, interest in your product. struggles, and pain (“I’m so hungry”), and they recognize you as Besides, the more you generate the solution to their problems (“If I buy the escargot-burger meal, internal interest in your product, I won’t be hungry anymore”). The sale ends with the actual the more you generate external interest in your product. purchase.

For a business to be successful, all three of these types of provider-customer contact must be involved, and always in that order—at least in Stages One and Two of your business-building. And, of course, it’s also not just a one-time deal—this cycle happens again and again, building at different rates with different people until Bennie’s is so well known that they’ve reached Stage Three—established as the experts in their field. (This is when the order of marketing can actually move around and the rules can change. But don’t worry about that until you get there.)

MARKETING TRAPS AND HOW TO AVOID THEM. Unfortunately, many businesses and individuals (including new and even some experienced coaches) don’t follow the proper order and flow of the steps of this system and, therefore, end up having problems and eventually fail. Typically, it is one of the following mistakes that does them in. 1. They rely solely on passive marketing to generate business and sales. They just put up their website and wait for the business to come pouring in. Sorry. It doesn’t usually work that way. Look at the progressive order of Marketing to Sales. It’s too much of a jump to go from passive marketing directly to sales. Therefore, the primary purpose of passive marketing is to get the client interested in the next step, which in this case, is taking a trip down to Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious

22 Usually. Remember, there are always exceptions. This is just a basic guideline for you to learn and follow. Anything advanced you can find that support elsewhere.

Burger Barn to see what all the fuss is about. It is nevertheless, important to do widespread passive marketing to get yourself passing through the eyes and ears of as many people as you can. 2. They don’t maintain their passive marketing long enough. Remember, because it’s passive, it’s easy to ignore. Pick up your favorite magazine and read it for 15 minutes, just focusing on what you want to look at. Now stop and make a list of what advertisements you saw. If you truly did what people normally do and just focused on the articles that caught your attention, you probably don’t remember too many. Then go back and count how many advertisements really passed by your eyes. You’ll be amazed. But if you were to read that same magazine each and every month, studies have shown, you’d gradually begin to be unconsciously aware of those ads, and perhaps even remember them after a while. Repetition, just patient repetition. This is also why commercials say the phone number that you should “call right now” three times. That’s three times that you hear the number, three times that it’s poking passively into your brain, and three times more likely that you’ll remember it later on—especially when you see that same commercial 20 more times in the following week. (And don’t get me started on SPAM. That’s the whole theory the folks who use that strategy are relying on, and, since it’s all automated, it’s practically labor-free on their parts. Eventually, after the 20th, 50th, 100th time, they’re assuming that you’re going to eventually give in. Passive marketing taken to the extreme.) Here, I’ll give you an example. If you want to take advantage of some of the free forms and products that I offer, all you have to do it visit my website. www.bedo.org That’s www.bedo.org One more time, that’s www.bedo.org Now, without peeking, what’s my website address? ______Correct. See? It’s just that easy.23 Now, back to marketing. How long should you plan to passively market? As long as it takes. While there are many pricey ways to spread the word (television ads, product placement in movies, sponsoring at the football game) there are also many ways to inexpensively build awareness of you as well. The trick is to find what is within your budget of time and money and commit to it for as long as you can. You may not see results right away, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working. 3. They try to save time and money, skip all marketing, and go straight to Sales. Problem? Yes, it’s a poorly-done version of what’s called cold calling. That’s when that person comes up to you when you’re walking down the street and says, “Can I interest you in a subscription to Suckers Digest?” As with many other forms of marketing, this can be quite effective, when you know what you’re doing. Otherwise, the results can be quite frustrating. Sometimes it works and you get a sale, but more commonly (as a general rule of thumb) it’s a lot of work for a lot of rejection and very little, if any, payoff. There needs to be marketing first, then, once they are interested in you, once they know a little more about you, once they start coming to you for more information, THEN you can begin to shift into the Sales stage. (And before I get a lot of response defending cold calling, let me remind you what I just said above. Cold calling can be powerful when done properly. However, if you have no idea what you’re doing, and you’re REALLY coming at it cold, like an Arctic masseuse, then you’re better off not attempting it for now. All you’ll do is build up your list of rejections, giving your Saboteur more material to bombard you with. If you want to learn how to do

23 If you have a hard time remembering names, you can use this trick to your advantage. When you meet someone, just repeat their name aloud three times back to them. “Hi, Ben. Glad to meet you. How are you doing today, Ben. Say, what a wonderful coaching program you have for coaches, Ben.” You’ll have that name locked in.

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it properly (and as I said, when done well, this can be powerfully effective and successful), then, as with any of the other advanced marketing skills, take a class.) So now that I’ve taken you through with all these examples, it’s your turn to explore all the possible ways that you can market yourself, both passively and actively. See if you can come up with ten different marketing approaches (there are hundreds possible; heck, I’ve listed about 20 throughout this book) Remember, right now, you’re just looking for ways, both active and passive, that you can connect with other people and let them know what you’re doing. Don’t worry, you’re not locked in to any action steps. This is just exploring what’s possible. 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______6. ______7. ______8. ______9. ______10. ______Now, look at this list. Not too bad, huh? You might want to keep this page handy for when you’re ready to begin marketing yourself. Ideally, you want to pick at least three to work with, so that they all support each other. This is the beginning of your “Marketing Plan and System.” For example, this e-book has information on the top and bottom for my webpage. On that webpage, along with lots of other wonderful things, is a link to subscribe to my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits: the newsletter for Coaching Confidence and Success.” Each newsletter features useful coaching insights, as well as tips and reminders to enhance your personal and coaching growth. There is also information about free coaching skills conference calls that you can participate in, links to products and items to help your coaching grow, and much more, as well as a simple and easy way to get this book, and more. All of this is designed to keep the visitor to my website (and in this case, you) interested and moving towards the next step—not the final step. Remember, the final step (in this example) would be to hire me as your coach—and that’s when we shift to Sales. All of your marketing should be designed to move your prospective clients to each of the next steps, whatever they may be. And when they’re ready, they’ll let you know when it’s time to shift into Sales.

WHAT IS SALES? First off, this topic really deserves much more attention than we’ll be able to give it in this book. And there are some great resources out there that you can utilize to get better and stronger at this deal- clinching dialogue (for a list of recommended experts and products, you can visit my website). 24

24 I’ve gone through plenty of resources to help grow both Marketing and Sales skills. Some of them are specifically geared for coaches, others are just packed with great information. Of course, this is by no means a definitive list, but they are ones I recommend. As a special service, there is an affiliate link when available. If you click through that link, I’ll get about $.12 as a referral. Every little bit helps.

Basically, Sales is simply a conversation that culminates in a contact or exchange of money (or equivalent) for product or services and both parties walk away having obtained something that they wanted. That’s it. Pretty simple, huh? Another way of looking at it is this: Marketing is what you do to get people interested. Sales is what you do once they’re interested. More what is Sales? Over at “Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn”, the marketing Another way of looking at it is gets you in the door and up to the counter—at which point, Sales is the opportunity that you are providing for the customer to presumably, the sights and smells have gotten a firm grip on your be able to satisfy their needs. attention. Once you let the counter girl know that you’re interested in their product, then it’s her job to complete (or close) the sale. Where coaching is concerned, the marketing is designed, similarly, to get others interested in what you have to offer, the sale happens when you, like the counter girl, engage in an actual conversation with them about what they want and how they can get it. Which brings us to the two major reasons anybody buys anything in this world. 1) People buy emotionally. Hence, rationality tends not to be used too often in marketing. Think about it. Every commercial you see on television is designed to trigger your emotions. “Are you fat? Losing your hair? Struggling with debt?”, the spot is saying, though not always so directly. “Afraid your husband is going to leave you for somebody who brews a better cup of coffee? Looking for a sense of speed and power in your life? Tired of being a wallflower at the neighborhood barbecue?” It’s all about grabbing you where you’re most vulnerable and connecting with where you’re struggling. Sales training will refer to this as targeting the “gap” or “the pain.” Basically the more emotion you can connect with, the better your chances of making a sale. 2) People buy possibility. In other words, the perceived promise that the product is going to provide something for them, or be the answer to their prayers. “If you drink our soda, all the hot chicks will go crazy for you.” “When you pause at the traffic light in our car, men will adore you will go weak in the knees.” “Order one of our soundproof booths today, and all your screaming child troubles will be over. It’s just that easy.” You’ll notice that these two elements may not be so effective separately, but combined together, they can create a powerful force. In other words, your prospective client has a “problem” they are struggling with (bringing up emotions like fear, anger, concern, attraction, whatever) and your coaching can be the “solution” or “answer” to that problem (the possibility). Of course I’m oversimplifying this quite a bit, and there are plenty of other factors to be taken into consideration when making a sales pitch—but the basic structure of sales is something you’re already familiar with… “Something I’m already familiar with?” ... and that’s… “Something I’m al…?” Be patient. It’ll come to you. “Something I…?” Now what could it possibly be? Yes, I think you know, don’t you. Sure you do. Go ahead, say it. “…!”

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Yes! That’s it! The basic structure of sales is… COACHING! “…?” Sure. It’s plain as day when you stop and think about it. Let’s look at the two main reasons anybody buys anything and how that corresponds to what happens in coaching. A) Triggered Emotion. The sales approach is to put the potential customer face to face with their “pain”, help them to look frankly at what they are struggling with. It’s as if one is asking the customer, “What is the problem you face? Let’s look at that together, deeply and honestly. What will your life be like if you don’t get it fixed? Not only that, but what will it feel like if this problem gets worse?” Sound like some of the coaching that you’ve already done? It should. 2) A Vision of what’s possible. The coaching version of the commercial featuring the Chevy Camaro cruising serenely along a mountain road is called “Visioning” or “Dreaming.” In other words, “What will your life be like once this problem is no longer?” Get the client focused on the exciting and empowering future that lies ahead, and confident that you’re the person who can put them (or show them how to put themselves) in the driver’s seat; then the only logical question that comes next is, when do we start? (By the way, just to test that whole “repeat three times” memory trick we did a few pages ago. POP QUIZ: What is my website? ______) Good. Now don’t forget to visit it for suggestions for other products and services that can help you learn how to handle customers and clients more effectively in the world of sales. ) In fact, let’s do a little exercise to help you understand more about the wonderful world of marketing, and their stories.

MARKETING STORIES “Stories? You mean like, ‘Once upon a time’ and all that fairy-tale stuff?” Kind of like that. But don’t go off and get the cookies and milk just yet. There’s work to be done. You see, in every form of marketing—from television to radio, billboards to magazines—these stories appear in two different forms: the obvious (or surface), and the hidden (or subtext). Granted, this is a generalization, and Speaking of Stories: there may be exceptions here and there, but for the most part this On a completely different note… what are the stories that you’re possibly concept is very true, and if you get this it will make a big making up about this book? difference in your marketing of yourself and your coaching. It’s so long. It’s too hard. I don’t First off: the obvious story. This is the commercial you’ve have the time. I’ll get to this later. How well are those stories serving probably seen that goes like this. “The man gets up and is running you? Perhaps there’s another story late to work. He runs out the door without eating breakfast and as that would work better. he’s driving down the road, he’s getting hungry. He begins to You’re stepping into a whole career imagine all the stresses at work and how he will be unable to that’s based on “creating change” so survive his day. Panic begins to set in. Suddenly, at his moment you might as well begin being the poster child for that. And you don’t of greatest desperation, he sees a big “Bennie’s” sign in the have to do it alone. Partner up with a distance. He drives up and orders the Biscuits-N-Gravy burger coach friend. Work with your coach. with fries dipped in coffee. As he’s driving away, he’s Or contact me. I’m happy to help. completely happy, full of food and ready to start his day.” See? Just stay with this. Pretty simple. It has a beginning, a middle, and an end. It shows I know you can do it.

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 51 of 155 a problem or conflict, and a solution or resolution that the product in question provides. The great thing about the “obvious stories” is that they are situations that we, the consumer, can immediately and easily identify with. We’ve been there before. We, too, have left the house hungry and know what it feels like to face our day of turmoil and strife. If only then, had we a Bennie’s. And our mind connects with that story and makes a little mental note, “The next time this happens, let’s look for a Bennie’s.” This way we can avoid that problem in the future. Behold: the power of marketing. A sale hasn’t been made, but the seed has been planted. And every time you see that commercial, the seed continues to grow and grow. Next: the hidden story. This is subtext, conveyed with images, sound, and music. This would be like that montage of all the teenagers dancing around, laughing, and having a great time. The cool boys are tossing Bennie’s burgers in the air, and all you see are bags and bags of Bennie’s flying around. The Bennieburger Babes are wearing tight Bennie’s T-shirts, sipping out of Bennie’s drink cups dancing to the new hit song, “Meat me at the Party”, by Bennie and the Condiments. The story may be a little harder to recognize here. In this instance, there’s not really a beginning, middle, or end, but rather just an ongoing event. In fact, we can even suspect that this party has been going on for a long time, and will continue on for even longer. It’s that much fun. Nor is there a problem/conflict and a solution/resolution clearly expressed. But what we do have is an experience portrayed and the idea suggested that if you eat Bennie’s burgers then, like these kids, you will have a really wonderful and cool time, with lots of hot babes and dudes. There is never a dull moment at Bennie’s and it’s just perfect for the younger crowd. Bennie’s is the perfect companion to any party, anywhere, any time. As you can see, even though there’s no specific story, there is still plenty of emotion—happiness, joy, cool, a feeling of community and friendship, a rousing party that just goes on and on. Sound familiar? You guessed it. These are all things that we deep down desire. And our brain, again, makes a mental note, “You know? The next time we’re hungry, let’s go to Bennie’s. That’s where all the cool kids hang out and have such a great time.” Now, of course, with both of these scenarios we’re not concerned with rationality. If we approach this intelligently, we know there are plenty of options to have nutrition in the morning, and of course we know that Bennie’s isn’t constantly packed with cool teenagers, but more likely with screaming kids and people stressed out because they’re running late for work. But it’s the idea, the emotion, the possibility that’s been created and shared. Marketing doesn’t worry about reality, it goes straight to triggering an emotion and suggesting what’s possible. It’s just that simple. And very powerful and effective. Let’s check out some specific examples to get you more familiar with looking at marketing this way. And to do so, we’re going to check out some of the marketing that you’re already being exposed to. Go over and turn on the television. That’s right, we’re going to watch a little TV. (You might want to take this book over with you, cause you’re going to take some notes.) First off, let’s look at three television commercials. Doesn’t matter what channel, doesn’t matter what program, and in fact, for this exercise, it doesn’t matter what the product is. What does matter is that you let yourself watch it through the eyes of someone who now knows what to look for. While you’re watching each commercial, make notes of what images they use. Notice the music. Pay attention to the story that is there. What emotions are being tugged at? Are you supposed to feel happy, sad, melancholy, excited?

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“Yeah, but what if it’s a commercial for another television show?” No problem. Same thing. They’re telling you a quick story, a rapid-fire experience designed to trigger an emotion or feeling, suggesting that if we want more zany laughter or scathing reality-show dramas, then we’d better tune in later on. In fact, look at the final tag at the end of those commercials. “Don’t miss it!”, they usually say, triggering our response of, “Oh, of course, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t want to do anything wrong.” Or when they say, “The one to watch,” or “It’s where families meet,” or “It’s what’s happening on Mondays,” how do you suspect they want you to respond? You see? When you look at it this way, each 30-second spot is packed full with powerful stimuli, all designed to… “Yes, yes. I know, I know. Trigger an emotion and suggest what’s possible. I think I’m getting this.” Let’s check out any magazine that you might have lying around. Open it up to any ad you may see there. Look at that image of a beautiful woman, long red hair cascading down her shoulders, her eyes half closed, as though lost in romance as she stands along the Seine in Paris, the Eiffel Tower lit up in the distance (don’t worry, there’s no silly man climbing on the side of it this time) and she’s putting something to her lush, red and plump lips. And at the bottom of the page you see, “Bennie’s. For lovers.” You can just hear the accordion playing a sweet melody, you can smell the fresh-baked bread, and taste... well, maybe even taste that luscious food she’s eating. Notice what thoughts are sparked and what emotions being stirred. What are they selling? “Um, Burgers?” Well true, on the surface. But what they are really selling is romance, and even more accurately, the possibility of romance for you. And the suggestion made by this print ad is that eating Bennie’s burgers is the way to get it. What about that smaller ad in the corner, the one with the empty burger wrap crumpled up next to an empty Bennie’s brussels sprouts bowl and edible sippy cup, and you can just make out the Bennie’s logo. There’s no words, no people, there’s not even a scene. Yet, there’s still a story you can make up from what you see. Go ahead, let’s use a little imagination and break it down, shall we? PRODUCT: Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn Burgers STORY: Someone purchased this and has completely eaten the whole meal. The paper wrapping indicates that it’s cheap. However, there’s not a crumb left, so it also suggests that it’s delicious. The logo displayed is the friendly and familiar image of Bennie so we know where they went. TRIGGERED EMOTION: Satisfaction. Contentment. Full. Familiar. Family. Friendly. POSSIBILITY: This meal will not only satisfy your stomach, but your wallet as well. Not only that, but you’ll know that you’re part of the friendly Bennie family. Now when we look at this same ad more deeply, we can see that the kind folks at Bennie’s are really selling satisfaction, contentment, full, familiar, family, friendly, on a budget, and the means to get there is by getting a Bennie Burger. See? Problem/Desire and Solution. So let's put this into some practice here. Use the same breakdown system and place the information and your own experience from these various marketing approaches below.25

25 I’ve got three spots here, but there are also more at the end. And you can always copy that page if you want to do more.

When you watch the commercial or look at the magazine ad (or billboard, or radio spot, or whatever) do your best to fill out each of the sections. Don’t worry about “getting it right,” that’s the advertiser’s job. Truly, this is all about what you get from what they’re presenting. 26

MARKETING EXAMPLE #1 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______Not so hard was it? Let’s try it a few more times so you can really get the hang of it. Feel free to explore other forms of marketing that you come across. You’ll see this works for just about anything that is being marketed and sold.

MARKETING EXAMPLE #2 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______And one more, just to be sure.

MARKETING EXAMPLE #3 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______

26 By the way, this is exactly what they do when they show commercials and advertising to test audiences. The creators want to know how the consumer thinks and feels when they see their ad. Does the intended emotional trigger and suggested possibility match the experience of the viewer. If it does, then they've done their job well. If not, then it's back to the old drawing board.

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Now, can you begin to see how this can translate into marketing for you? “Uh, I think so. You've made it pretty clear about the whole triggering an emotion and suggesting a possibility thing.” I know. But trust me, it's all too easy to get caught up in the surface part of it. That’s what they’re counting on. Because if you were really aware of the underlying message that they are conveying, you’d most likely involve your common sense as well. “What? There’s no way that eating a Bennie’s Burger is going to be like riding around in a sports car out in the countryside.” And yet, because marketing is about triggering emotions, that’s just what they’ve done. And as we know, emotions are pretty powerful. 27 Now of course, when we look at this as coaches, we want to follow our marketing with some form of integrity, so we’re not so interested in the manipulation aspect of it. I’m just including it so that you can begin to train yourself how to look at marketing differently. You see, it’s all too easy for us as coaches to get stuck in a terrible trap in our marketing. One that sabotages us even before we get started. “What's that?” We try to sell our coaching. “What? But that’s what we’re doing, right?” Let's look at it this way. What would be more interesting to you? A) A man walks up to you, out of nowhere, and says, “Hey. Here’s a hamburger? It's good. And you can eat it. It's really good. In fact, I was up all night working on it and I’m very excited to give it to you. It's quite good, I tell you. Go ahead, try it. In fact, I'll give you a taste of it for free if you'd like. Here, have the whole one for free. I've got so many of these piling up and I need to get rid of them before they get stale. So how about it? Good, hm?” B) You've had a long day. You're tired and hungry and have no interest in spending time in the kitchen making dinner. (All those dishes to clean up afterwards. Yuck!) A man pops out of nowhere and says, “Hey, I couldn't help but notice that you look pretty hungry.” “Yeah,” you say, barely able to muster the energy to voice the words. “You're probably looking for something easy, filling, satisfying, and inexpensive to eat, right?” “Yep,” just squeaks out. “But you don't want to stuff your face with just anything, right? You want exciting and interesting flavors. Something perhaps exotic that you can tell your friends about. You don't want just any food, you want a kaleidoscope of flavors swirling in your mouth. Something that you can taste long after the food is gone. You want... an experience. How about this? If you'd like, I can let you have a little taste so you can see how flavorful and delicious it is, and you can see for yourself how satisfying your whole meal will be.” Which one is more interesting and attractive to you? “Well, I’d say the second one.”

27 See? I did learn something from all those years as an actor. Actually quite a bit, and you’re getting some of that wisdom here.

What's the difference? “Well, it seems the first one was more focused on the burger itself and the second was on the experience and, as you say, emotion and possibility.” Correct-amundo! I’ll also point out that the first one feels like it is all about satisfying the seller's needs, while the second one is all about fulfilling the consumer's needs. And that's the one who's doing the buying, right? This is like when coaches try to sell “coaching”. “Oh, I get it. Yeah, I’ve experienced that. Usually when I try to tell people about my coaching they don’t seem interested. And they’re certainly less likely to be a client, right?” You got it. However, when you are offering a desired experience or result, or when you’re addressing a particular issue or problem that someone is facing, then you can choose more specific language that they will hear quite clearly. And that’s when marketing really works well. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Truth be told, you really don’t have to worry so much right now about the story of your marketing. “What? Then why did we just spend all this time talking about it?” Well, I’m sure you can guess that this knowledge will come in handy when you’re ready to step into Marketing Stage Two. As we continue on in this process, you’ll be discovering more about your branding and benefits, so this little information will help provide a context. So now that you know a little more about the basics of marketing and sales, you may be looking at the list you just made and either feeling nervous about starting, or eager to begin. Either way, anyone will tell you that the first step in preparing to move forward at any stage of marketing (be it One, Two, or Three) is to know your product. So the time has come at last to start looking at how YOU can begin marketing yourself as a coach, especially while still in Stage One. “Ok, thanks. I think I'm starting to understand about all this. But before we move on, could you just put it nice and simply what is the difference between Sales and Marketing?”

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? I want it stated for the record that there will be experts and gurus of both fields who will agree, disagree, and everything in between. Of course, this is not the end-all and be-all of Marketing and Sales, but hopefully this will clarify it a little more. And I've already gone to great lengths and descriptions so you will get it. However, just one last time, I'll put it succinctly and clearly for you. MARKETING is about creating the idea, triggers, and emotional & mental responses connected with a product or service, usually through the five senses and the brain is involved. This is the phase where we introduce the Suggestion of Possibility. “This is what your experience might be like with our product or service.” It's mostly conceptual and there's minor commitment involved by the consumer. SALES: Requires Action on both sides (seller and purchaser) to create a commitment. It's when the process or change or benefit actually begins. In other words, the act of Sales Encourages Probability.

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That's the simple way to break it down. The Secret Steps to Super Sales Marketing=Possibility. Sales=Probability. I Don’t be too discouraged if this seems overwhelming, or if your mean, think about it. When you see those efforts in Marketing and Sales feels clunky and isn’t netting you commercials for Bennie’s, they're really your desired results. Every masterful salesman and woman has telling you “our food will satisfy your had more than their fair share of “blown opportunities”. Eventually they’ve grown stronger and better able to connect hunger.” That billboard suggests that the and communicate with the customer effectively. food is tasty and delicious. You're thinking This is not something that is learned overnight. It takes time. about what's possible. But at that point In fact, most people spend thousands of dollars, and hours of there's nothing that actually creates the training and practice are devoted to mastering these skills. change. Certainly they're encouraging some So don’t expect this book to instantly make you a Super Seller. However, it can serve as a good foundation upon which you can minor action on your behalf. They want you build with more experience. to come into the place. But still there's no When you’re ready, you can move on to another resource that commitment. can help you develop your skills even further. The secret is to keep learning and practicing. Remember: the However, when we purchase something, more you do it, the easier it gets. That’s just how it works. then there is the action step to create commitment and to move towards the desired results. Of course we're also engaging the mind to imagine the outcome which drives us to action—moving towards pleasure or away from pain, but there is more of a sense of “this really could happen.” In other words, there is now a probability of achieving those results. Does that make sense now? “A little better.” Don't worry. The more you do this and experience for yourself, the more you'll understand. And the more you understand, the more you can be consciously intentional about which one you're doing. For now, let's remember that you're still in Stage One and that you don't have to be an expert in either realm just yet. “Ok. I'll trust you on this. So do we move on now?” You betcha. In fact, to get you going further into Stage One, I'm going take this time now to pass on to you the secret of powerful marketing. “Really? Then what are you waiting for? Pass it on.”

THE SECRET OF POWERFUL MARKETING As I keep saying, there are tons of books, programs, workshops and experts who can help you become brilliant at marketing. And they all have their opinions and definitions of what Marketing really is. For these purposes, it’s really pretty simple: Marketing is the outward expression of your inner self- acknowledgment. That’s it. It begins with you recognizing the benefits of your product, what makes it so good, and why people would want to purchase it. If you can acknowledge yourself and your product (that is, your coaching) then you’re 90% there. The last 10% is getting that word out there to everyone else. All right, I may be making up those percentages, but I’m sure it’s something like that. The point is, it really doesn’t matter how awesome your marketing plan is, if you don’t like your product, if you don’t trust it, if you don’t think it’s the most awesomest thing out there since Cheerios, you won’t be able to represent it properly and effectively. And in that case, no one will buy it.

There’s a big difference between, “Hey, I’m a mediocre coach and I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m not really worth hiring… but, would you like pay me your hard-earned money to coach you?” (which sounds like a sales pitch written by your Saboteur) and “Hey, I’m an awesome coach. I’ve been trained by one of the best schools out there, and I know that I can handle whatever issues you may be struggling with.” Which one would you buy? So in order for you to be able to acknowledge yourself, and your product, you have to get to know it first.

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR PRODUCT If you were selling Bennie’s Burgers, you’d want to try one yourself so you could relay to others the wonderful blending of flavors, the textures, the joys to be experienced just by eating Bennie’s food. You’d want to know nutritional information, and pricing, and whether something is being offered for a limited time only. The more you know your product, the better your ability to market and eventually sell it. Likewise, if you’re marketing and selling your coaching, you want to know your coaching—inside and out, up and down, through and through, with or without, regular or unleaded… “Ok, ok, I get the point. Just get on with it.” Sorry. So how do you get to know your product? Well, the same as with Bennie’s burgers, you examine it closely, take inventory, pick up that internal magnifying glass and explore all the nooks and crannies. Get to know fully the flavor and the experience of your product. First off, you are promoting the product of coaching in general. It’s like advertising the wonder of burgers—any burgers. Look at where you have personal experience with coaching that you can draw upon—your classes and working with your own coach. All of the challenges you’ve worked through and the benefits that you’ve discovered. Get interested in what your classmates are experiencing from their coaching. Remember the stories you’ve heard from your instructors. All of that is great information that you can use in your marketing to educate your customers about what coaching is. The more you experience (and think about) coaching, in any form, from any angle, the more informed you will be about the value of your product. This includes all your courses and training, but also your time spent with your own coach, and, of course, the work that you’ll be doing with your First Five Clients. One of the things I say all the time is, “Our coaching is about our clients (because that’s the focus of our coaching, it’s always about our clients, right?) But, in a way, it’s equally true to say that our clients are about us.” “What? What are you, some sort of coaching Yoda? What does that mean?” ”Mm. Many questions of coaching you have. Answer them in time I will.” “Look, that’s not funny. Just answer the question. All right. It means simply that each and every one of our clients is also a reflection of us, and, if we are willing to look, a lens on our own interior

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 58 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org landscape. The issues they are working on invariably point to lessons that we ourselves probably need to learn, for the problems they face are usually similar to our own. You’ll discover this way too many times in your coaching experience (if you haven’t already), so I’m just giving you a “heads up” about it. But it also means that, by interacting with our clients, being aware of what parts of ourselves come alive or are activated—or challenged, we get to learn more about how we function are what we bring to our work as a coach. You’ll inevitably begin to recognize there are certain issues or client types that you connect and resonate with. There are particular skills that you possess and use well. In the course of a little time and experience, working with your First Five Clients, you’ll begin to discover those very elements— strengths, skills, life experiences, special sensitivities—that will help you define and establish your niche. This is one of the beautiful benefits of being in Stage One of Marketing. Remember: It’s about establishing your product, and that’s what you’ll find happens. The whole experience of coaching is a wonderful cycle that loops upon itself and grows like a spiral, advancing as it re-encounters the same challenges and opportunities, each time at a new level of experience and awareness: the more you coach, the more you learn about you and your coaching, which in turn, leads to more opportunities to coach— and learn, which helps you further clarify your niche, which opens the door to even more clients… and so on. And how do you get started? You’re holding the answer in your hands. This book is the entrance point to that cycle. It’s all about getting those First Five Clients, fast and furious, but also about doing it properly, so you can begin to discover more and more who YOU are as a coach. And that means that you will be…

GETTING TO KNOW YOUR BRAND It’s about knowing the difference between everyone else’s burgers and Bennie’s burgers. What makes them so wonderful and amazing? All the unique combinations and amazing meals that no one else offers. Their speedy service. Their special green velvet jumpsuit uniforms. It’s all the things that makes Bennie’s stand out from the rest, that make his burgers unique. It’s teaching the public what is special about YOUR Coaching. What we’re really talking about here is BRANDING28. The difference between you and all the other coaches out there. It’s what separates Coke from soda pop, Domino’s from pizza, Disneyland from amusement parks. And that’s where we begin with the workbook portion of this book. “Finally. I was wondering when we’d get to the juicy stuff.” Let’s take a look at building your self awareness about your product (general), then your brand (specific), and then build it into an powerful and engaging statement that you can use in your marketing (we’ll get to that) and even to repeat to yourself in those times of doubt. First and foremost you need to be able to sell yourself on your product. If you’re not excited about and willing to stand behind your product, your customer will sense it. You’re basically telling them that your product isn’t worth it.

28 Of course this is only scratching the surface of branding. There's so much more involved and it can take a whole lot of research to really discover your brand. After this, you'll want to dig deeper, so I recommend you find a good branding expert to help you distinguish your unique value and design. You can also contact me to learn more about my special, “The 5 words that will explode your coaching” two- session package.

You are worth it. Your own personal special Saboteur. This is why all that Saboteur-busting we’ve been I’m a believer that we, as coaches, have our own doing is so important. (If you need to, try using your special Saboteur that we struggle with. garbage disposal this time. Make sure the water is nice It’s that one that tells us, “How can you help other and hot and the blades are good and sharp.) people have magnificent lives, when you can’t even figure out how to do it yourself?” Coupled with, “How can you help How we see ourselves is how we train the rest of the someone with their problems when you’re nowhere near an world to see us. So you’d better start looking for, expert in their problem,” these are two powerfully recognizing and acknowledging the gold within you. debilitating phrases for any coach. The truth is, you’re coaching them on “But I’m only just…” experiencing their lives fully so they can make their own powerful choices, which IS what Yeah, I know, you’re just beginning, you don’t know you’re doing. this stuff, you don’t have enough clients, or maybe any In fact, I would even suggest that because you clients, you’re not that good, you don’t have anything to are going though similar challenges, you are offer, blah, blah, blah. If you really believe that, then you able to be a great coach for them. The added bonus is that you have some wonderful training might as well stop wasting your time and go do and knowledge that can help your client (and something else besides coaching. Because who would you) get out of your traps. want to buy something the seller has no confidence in? Your special “Coach” Saboteur will easily find way to devalue your gift, and once that happens, What if I came to you and said, “Hey, I want you to it’s that much harder to pull yourself out of the buy this burger. I mean, the bread is a little moldy, the pit. Instead, continue to find ways to explore vegetables are soft and starting to rot, and the meat has the value of your gift (like I walk you through in got a slight green tint to it—not to mention the whipped this book). It goes back to what I said several pages back, the more you know and love your cream has gone sour. But please buy it anyway, because product, then the better off you are. I’ve got to sell ten today or I’ll lose my job.” Not too inviting, is it? You’ve got to know the gold that lies within you, and brilliantly shine the light upon it so that everyone can see it and say, “Holy macadamia! I want some of that!” So are you ready to discover your gold and create your personal empowering phrase? “Yes. I’ve come this far, I may as well see where it goes. This isn’t going to be hard, is it?” On the contrary, this will be incredible easy, and perhaps even fun. What makes it even more amazing is that you already possess all the necessary information you’ll need, it’s just a matter of getting it out onto the page so you can use it more effectively and efficiently. So let’s get to it.

BUILDING YOUR PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE The main ingredients for creating your Personal Empowering Phrase are Your Values, Your Personal Strengths, Your Powerful Coaching Skills, Any Personal Benefits You’ve Experienced From Coaching. Other Benefits From Coaching In General, What People Get From Your Coaching Specifically. “Hey, what’s with all the colors?” Don’t worry, they’re just there to help you identify later on. Take your time and fill out all the blank sections as we go along. Don’t worry about doing it perfectly, just remember to do your best. If you find yourself stuck, leave it and move to the next step. Once you’ve come to the end, go back and see if you can fill in any of the leftover blanks. You might

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VALUES: List your values. Most likely you’ve discovered them during your coach training. However, if not, then you can choose from the list below and on the next couple pages. Go through and mark all the ones that are important to you, or include your own personal ones (this list doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else but you right now). Just do it. Right now. I’ll wait here. Abundance Assertiveness Celebrity Acceptance Assurance Certainty A quick word about Your Values. Accessibility Attentiveness Challenge You may be feeling stuck on identifying some of these words—or Accomplishment Attractiveness Charity struggling to see how they could be a Value. To clarify, the words Accuracy Audacity Charm you choose need not reflect your actions, but more your reactions Achievement Availability Chastity and feelings associated with an event or experience. Acknowledgment Awareness Cheerfulness For example, Organization may be a strong Value for you, but your Activeness Awe Clarity office is a mess. If the mess doesn’t bother you, then perhaps Adaptability Balance Cleanliness Organization isn’t a strong Value. However, if every time you are Adoration Beauty Clear-Mindedness in your office you feel frustrated and wish it was organized, then Adroitness Being The Best Cleverness consider that this may be a strong Value for you. Adventure General Rule of Thumb Belonging Closeness Affection If you feel alive, connected, full of possibility and hope, electric, Benevolence Comfort Affluence engaged, and overall satisfied and fulfilled, even in a small way, Bliss Commitment Aggressiveness there’s a Value that’s being connected and stimulated. Boldness Compassion Agility Bravery Completion Contentment Determination Empathy Fearlessness Alertness Brilliance Composure Continuity Devotion Encouragement Ferocity Altruism Buoyancy Concentration Contribution Devoutness Endurance Fidelity Ambition Calmness Confidence Control Dexterity Energy Fierceness Amusement Camaraderie Conformity Conviction Dignity Enjoyment Financial Anticipation Candor Congruency Conviviality Diligence Entertainment Independence Appreciation Capability Connection Coolness Direction Enthusiasm Firmness Approachability Care Consciousness Cooperation Directness Excellence Fitness Articulacy Carefulness Consistency Cordiality Discipline Excitement Flexibility Correctness Discovery Exhilaration Flow Uncovering & Discovering your Values Courage Discretion Expectancy Fluency Having a hard time even just picking them out Courtesy Diversity Expediency Focus in the first place? Not quite sure if any of these Craftiness Dominance Experience Fortitude are truly your Values? Guess what? You can Creativity Dreaming Expertise Frankness always call up a fellow coaching friend or ask Credibility Drive Exploration Freedom your own coach to help you explore your list. Cunning Duty Expressiveness Friendliness Look at your peak memorable experiences. Curiosity Dynamism Extravagance Frugality Who do you admire? And more importantly Daring Eagerness Extroversion Fun what are the qualities they possess and express. Decisiveness Economy Exuberance Gallantry What totally cranks your gears and drives you Decorum Ecstasy Fairness Generosity nuts? (It’s usually a Value that’s been kicked Gentility around.) Deference Education Faith Giving And you can always contact me and we can use Delight Effectiveness Fame Grace your complementary call to further uncover this Dependability Efficiency Family Gratitude wonderful information. Depth Elation Fascination Desire Elegance Fashion Gregariousness

Growth Intuition Mysteriousness Pragmatism Sacredness Stability Valor Guidance Intuitiveness Neatness Precision Sacrifice Stealth Variety Happiness Inventiveness Nerve Preparedness Sagacity Stillness Victory Harmony Investing Obedience Presence Saintliness Strength Vigor Health Joy Open-Mindedness Privacy Sanguinity Structure Virtue Heart Judiciousness Openness Proactively Satisfaction Success Vision Helpfulness Justice Optimism Professionalism Security Support Vitality Heroism Keenness Order Prosperity Self-Control Supremacy Vivacity Holiness Kindness Organization Prudence Selflessness Surprise Warmth Honesty Knowledge Originality Punctuality Self-Reliance Sympathy Watchfulness Honor Leadership Outlandishness Purity Sensitivity Synergy Wealth Hopefulness Learning Outrageousness Realism Sensuality Teamwork Willfulness Hospitality Liberation Passion Reason Serenity Temperance Willingness Humility Liberty Peace Reasonableness Service Thankfulness Winning Humor Liveliness Perceptiveness Recognition Sexuality Thoroughness Wisdom Hygiene Logic Perfection Recreation Sharing Thoughtfulness Wittiness Imagination Longevity Perkiness Refinement Shrewdness Thrift Wonder Impact Love Perseverance Reflection Significance Tidiness Youthfulness Impartiality Loyalty Persistence Relaxation Silence Timeliness Zeal Independence Majesty Persuasiveness Reliability Silliness Traditionalism ______Industry Magical Moments Philanthropy Religiousness Simplicity Tranquility ______Ingenuity Making a Piety Resilience Sincerity Transcendence ______Inquisitiveness Difference Playfulness Resolution Skillfulness Trust ______Insightfulness Mastery Pleasantness Resolve Solidarity Trustworthiness ______Inspiration Maturity Pleasure Resourcefulness Solitude Truth ______Integrity Meekness Poise Respect Soundness Understanding ______Intelligence Mellowness Polish Rest Speed Unflappability ______Intensity Meticulousness Popularity Restraint Spirit Uniqueness Intimacy Mindfulness Potency Reverence Spirituality Unity Intrepidness Modesty Power Richness Spontaneity Usefulness Introversion Motivation Practicality Rigor Spunk Utility There, have you marked all the Values that are important to you? Of course, on this list we could argue that all of them are wonderful and important, but I’m willing to bet that there are some that are personally more important than others. And that’s what we want to pay attention to. So go back over this list and narrow the list down to your top ten and circle them. Go ahead. Do it. “Wow, this is hard. There’s something like 300 words here to choose from.” Actually, it’s 375 to be exact. And I appreciate the challenge of having to narrow down 375 to only 10. Not only that, but our Values (as well as the other lists to come) are very important to us. That’s why they’re called Values—because they’re Valuable. So by no means am I suggesting that you get rid of them. In fact, be sure to keep the whole list so that you can refer back to it from time to time. However, I’ll ask you, what is going to be easier to remember? Your top 10? Or all 375? “Well, duh. The top 10, of course.” Yum, yum, yum! That’s right. Values are like potato chips. Once you taste on, you’ll “Yeah, but there are so many that are wonderful. I mean, who have to have the whole bag. wouldn’t want all of these wonderful words in their lives?”

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True. And when you go through the list of all the ones you circled, you GUIDLINE: might not even find your top 10 right away. Do your best the first time around If it ain’t worth doing to simply cut the selection in half. Then half again, and again as necessary. (YOUR VALUES) then it ain’t worth Take a look at which ones really jump out at you. Most likely there will be doing (YOUR TIME those that stand out and touch a deeper part of you—it’s clear they’re really AND ENERGY) important for you to have in your life. Eventually, you’ll find your top 10. Need a little help? Here are couple of places to explore that might help you clarify and narrow down your Values a little more easily. A) Explore a peak or wonderful moment from your past. Write it out in as much detail as you can think of, especially your experience, notice which words keep popping up from the list. When you feel alive, excited, engaged, connected, full of possibility, inspiration, etc, then your Values are being connected to. B) Take a look at those whom you admire. It’s not so much about what they do that’s important as who they are. It’s their characteristics and traits that they possess and express that you’re picking up on. And they are a direct hotline to your own Values. This is part of what is happening with that whole Law of Attraction that you’ve heard about (and we’ll talk more about later on). This also explains why we like some people and don’t like others. Look at your friends and see if you can identify which one or more of your values they are connecting with and activating. C) Look at your buttons—those things people do that drive you crazy. We all have them (and if you don’t’ know what they are, I’m sure if you ask your family and friends they’ll be more than happy to point them out to you.) What’s really happening is that those Values of yours that are so vital and important are being violated or ignored, either by yourself or by others. It’s that conflict that is creating your anger or frustration. And just like the “General rule of thumb” mentioned above, the basic guideline to remember is that if you’re feeling stuck, empty, dead, uninspired, frustrated, sad, angry, depressed, alone, etc., then there are some beautiful and wonderful values that are being ignored or completely disconnected. Your Values are wonderful, they are what guide you to make your powerful choices, and the more you know what they are and how important they are to you, the more you can be at choice in your life. So go ahead and give it a shot. Besides, once you’re skilled at narrowing down your Values list, you will be more able to walk your clients through these steps. (I mean, do you want to keep track of all five of your clients’ 100 Values? I didn’t think so. So with a little work up front we can make this really easy.” In fact, write them down right here so you have them clearly listed. 1. 3. 5. 7. 9. 2. 4. 6. 8. 10. Now, here’s comes the challenge. Of those ten, select your top five most important and powerful core values. Imagine that you’re going on a trip to “Coaching Success-land” and, as with FCC and airport security, you’re only allowed a maximum of five values on the plane with you. Which ones do you choose? And which Don’t worry: ones to you leave at home for when you get back. Again, You’re not getting rid of all those other you’re not getting rid of them, you’re simply identifying which values, you’re just identifying those five that are the most powerful, fulfilling, ones are you deepest and more compelling Core Values. Write compelling and satisfying. Keep the full them down here. (We’ll get to them later.) list and refer to them from time to time.

 My top 5 VALUES are: What are you good at? There are plenty of resources to tap into. Visit your local 1. ______4. ______bookstore or go online. There are tons of quizzes and 2. ______5. ______assessments you can take for free or for a small fee that will help you clarify your strengths. 3. ______And you can also simply write down ten things that you’re really good at doing (doesn’t matter if they’re coaching related, in fact it’s even better if they aren’t) PERSONAL STRENGTHS: and then look at which of these Strengths are utilized in As you did above, if you don’t know them successfully performing that action. You’ll notice that some (if not many or all) connect with already from previous work, you can easily go your Values. No surprise. It’s often through your through this simple list and pick the ones that Strengths that your Values get to be revealed and resonate deeply with you. This list is a bit easier expressed. to work with as there are only 167, although you And, of course, you can always contact me and together may discover new ones that aren’t here. Don’t we’ll reveal your powerful and amazing Strengths. worry, there’s space provided so they can be included. For added fun (and to make it easy), you might want to show this list to your friends, family, co- workers, and just about anyone else you know and ask what they would list as your top five Strengths. Add the results to your list and then pick the top five that show up with the most votes. You’ll find this way is much easier as you’re letting everyone else help you, and then you get to select the popular vote. Academic Conscientious Gentle Moderate Patient Quiet Accurate Conservative Good-Natured Modest Persevering Rational Active Considerate Gratitude Motivated Persistence Realistic Adaptable Consistent Healthy Natural Playful Reflective Adventurous Cool Helpful Obliging Pleasant Relaxed Affectionate Cooperative Honest Open-Minded Poised Reliable Aggressive Courageous Hopeful Opportunistic Polite Reserved Alert Creative Humorous Optimistic Practical Resourceful Ambitious Curious Imaginative Organized Precise Responsible Analytical Daring Independent Original Progressive Retiring Artistic Deliberate Individualistic Outgoing Prudent Robust Assertive Determined Industrious Attractive Dignified Informal A little more on identifying your Strengths: Bold Discreet Integrity You may notice an inner conflict right now, that voice Bravery Dominant Intellectual saying, “What are you talking about? You’re not that. Remember that time Broadminded Eager Intelligent when you failed at doing that? That means that you’re not that.” Businesslike Easygoing Introspective (Substitute that with whichever word from the above list Calm Efficient Inventive Emotional Kind belongs here.) While that Saboteur may be correct, sort of, Capable there is also a major confusion here—between what you DO Energetic Leadership Careful and the way you BE. In other words, you may BE Fair-Minded Learning Caring humorous, but not highly skilled at DOing it on cue. You Fairness Leisurely Cautious may BE excellent at BEing loving, but we all know that in Charming Far-Sighted Light-Hearted every relationship we sometimes DO things that don’t Cheerful Firm Likable express or reflect that love. It doesn’t mean that the love is Citizenship Flexible Logical dead or gone, it just means that, at that particular moment, Cleanliness Forceful Loving in those circumstances, we were not able to DO that quality Clear-Thinking Forgiving Loyal or skill. But don’t forget that whether or not you are DOing Clever Formal Mature it, you always have the BEing of it alive and within. Competent Frank Methodical Competitive Friendly Meticulous Painstaking Purposeful Self-Confident Confident Generous Mild Passionate Quick Self-Controlled

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Sensible Spontaneous Tactful Trustworthy Versatile ______Sensitive Spunky Tenacious Unaffected Vitality ______Serious Stable Thorough Unassuming Warm ______Sharp-Witted Steady Thoughtful Understanding Wholesome Sincere Strong Tolerant Unexcitable Wise ______Sociable Strong-Minded Tough Uninhibited Witty Spirituality Supportive Trusting Verbal Zany So now that you’ve gone through this list, perhaps with the help of your friends (and added your own when appropriate), complete the phrase below:  My top 5 STRENGTHS are: 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______

COACHING SKILLS: By now, you should know how this goes. First go through this next list and mark each Coaching Skill that you’re good at. I don’t mean the ones you’re supposed to be good at. Heck, a skilled coach should be powerful in all of them, but that’ll come later. Right now, we want to focus on where you’re naturally powerful and proficient. Which ones seem to come easily and effortlessly for you, as though you were born with them? Then narrow that list down to your top 5. Accountability Dancing in the Moment Identifying and Focusing on in Every Situation Acknowledgment Designing Actions Agendas (Big and Little) Reframing Articulating What's Going On Designing Supportive Integrated and Engaged Listening Relishing Truth Asking Permission Environments Intruding Requesting Believing the Client is Naturally Designing the Alliance Intuiting Respecting the Client’s Humanity Creative, Resourceful, and Direct Communication Inviting Possibility Revealing the Client to Whole Eliciting Greatness Life Balance Themselves Bottom Lining Engaging In Provocative Life Purpose Self-Management Brainstorming Conversations Maintaining Ethical Guidelines Setting Clear Intentions Building Trust and Intimacy with Enjoying the Client Immensely and Professional Standards Sharing What Is There the Client Entering New Territories Making Distinctions Supportive Systems and Celebrating Establishing the Coaching Managing Progress and Structures Challenging Agreement Accountability Taking Charge Championing the Client Expand the Client’s Best Efforts Metaphor Values Clarifying Failure as Learning Meta-View Visioning Clearing Forwarding the Action Perceiving, affirming and Witnessing Coaching Applies to Client’s Goal Setting expanding the client’s potential ______Whole Life Granting the Relationship Power Perspectives Communicating Clearly Gremlins/ Saboteurs ______Planning Confidentiality Holding the Client's Agenda Powerful Questions ______Creating Awareness Holding the Focus Processing in the present Creating Coaching Presence Homework Inquiry Recognizing Perfection/Rightness Creating Trust Honing in on What’s Most Curiosity Important  My top 5 COACHING SKILLS are: “WOW! I didn’t realize there was so much involved in coaching. Where did you get this list?” 1. ______4. ______This is a compilation of coaching skills, competencies, and 2. ______5. ______proficiencies as defined by some of the major creators of the coaching profession: The Coaches Training Institute, The 3. ______International Coach Federation, The International Association of Coaching, and the works of Thomas Leonard. PERSONAL COACHING Most likely you’ll be learning a modification of most or all of these in your training. And if you discover ones that aren’t BENEFITS: listed, you can use the blank spaces to the right.

 The top 5 benefits that I’ve personally experienced from coaching are: (Sorry, I don’t have a list for this one. You’re on your own. However, you have plenty of resources to draw from—your classes, working with your fellow coaches, and of course with your own coach. So have fun exploring what you’ve personally gotten out of coaching.) 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______

OTHER PEOPLE’S BENEFITS:  The top 5 Benefits I’ve witnessed others get from coaching are: (Again, no list to select from, but you can use any resource from above, including things that other coaches have told you were benefits, and of course, anyone that you’ve coached as a client for homework or whatever. Don’t worry about confidentially, no names are being used anyway, we’re just looking for the experience.) 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______

MY COACHING:  The top 5 Benefits other people have gotten from my coaching are. (OK, this is the one that I’ll admit might be a little challenging, especially if that Saboteur is sticking around trying to convince you that there are have been no benefits to anybody you can point to. However, I’m assuming that you’ve at least done some coaching in your classes, and that you’ve managed to find a client or two to help you out with homework and practicing your skills. So in truth, you already have some experience and knowledge with this. Do the best you can.) And you’re not necessarily looking for super, big, wazoo results. Many times it’s the smaller things that turn out to have a larger impact later on. Anyway, right now we’re not measuring degree of impact, just list ‘em. 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______Now take a look at what you’ve written. Go back and fill in what you might have left blank. However complete or partial, these are the elements for your own Self-Acknowledgment and Empowering Phrase. Look at you. You’re awesome! You truly have a lot to offer. The great part

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 66 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org about this is that you can always go back and fill in any blanks as you continue to develop and grow and discover more about yourself and your coaching as you work with your clients. I know, I know, your Saboteur is back again and already sharing his opinions about how these words aren’t really you, or that you’re doing it wrong, or this will never work and you’re wasting your time, won’t this guy get to the point already? If it takes this much work maybe you should just give this all up and make baskets at a roadside stand. Go ahead and write down whatever your Saboteur is telling you right now: ______Ok. Now, as you did before, take a moment to thank him for sharing his opinion (unsolicited as it is) and then take that irritating little ***** by the ear, drag it over to the garbage disposal, throw it in, and turn it on. (Sounds of violent crunching and muffled cries.) Go on. I'll wait. This work is very important and will be quite unsuccessful and ineffective if that negative voice is there getting in the way.

“Dum, de dum, de dum. La, la, la, la, la.”

Oh, you’re back. All right. Now that you can focus clearly, go back and remind yourself of the empowering phrase you wrote down several pages back. In fact, write it here so you have it handy. ______Now we’re going to combine everything together and create something wonderful. Look at all your various lists that you created and place all that juicy information into the Coaching Grid below.

VALUES STRENGTHS COACHING PERSONAL OTHER MY SKILLS BENEFITS BENEFITS COACHING

Now stop! Just stop. Don’t do anything else. Before we continue, just step back for a moment and look at all these amazing words that are a part of you and what you do. Remember, self- acknowledgment is critical to the process of becoming a successful coach. These words describe what coaching is about for you. Your Values, Your Strengths, Your Skills, Your Benefits, and even though you’ve listed the benefits that other coaches and clients have experienced, you are the one who chose them, which means that you have some connection to those results and benefits. In other words, this is beginning to define your coaching and where you have access and expression of your personal power. Pretty cool, huh? Don’t worry about trying to qualify and justify these words. Perhaps on second look you might be thinking these words aren’t exactly true? Don’t be silly. Of course these words are true, you wrote them about you when your Saboteur wasn’t looking, right? Sometimes it’s when you’re not paying attention to the problem that empowerment happens. So now it’s time to refine this list. Pick out from this list the five Power Words that fill your tummy with fire and make you tingle all over when you read them, and write them below so you can see them clearly. As before, you might find it challenging to narrow your list down even further. Don’t worry; you’re not getting rid of any of them. They’re all very important, and a strong part of who you are. However, I’m it’s going to be a bit easier to remember 5 words than 30, so this is really just to make it easier for you down the road. (Remember, small, little changes are much easier to implement than big, huge ones.) So by all means keep the rest of your words. But for this, you want to go with the biggies.) 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______What do you notice about these words? How do you feel looking at them? How well do they describe you? How well do they describe your coaching? What’s possible now with this information? “Heck, I don’t know. I was hoping you’d tell me.” Well, you’re in luck. I am going to tell you. You get to create your Personal Empowering Phrase that will begin to express the value and experience of your coaching. First, let’s start off easy. Complete the phrase below, using the five empowering words that you’ve discovered. “I am all about ______, ______, ______, ______, and ______.” There, now how does that feel? “It feels pretty good. I mean, it’s a little weird saying this about myself.” But I’m guessing it isn’t anything you don’t already know about yourself, right?

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“Yeah. But how do I know this isn’t some big ego trip I’m trying to lay on everyone? You know, like, ‘Look at me I’m wonderful. Shoo-be-do-be-wah! I’m not a bit like you or you. I’m a super showbiz star.’29“ Well, the simple fact is that not only are you saying something about yourself that you already know, but this is nothing new to all your family and friends either. Is that a pretty safe assumption? Go ahead and show this phrase to them or tell them what you came up with and ask them if it accurately describes you. (Bear in mind that we’re not looking for the whole picture. I get that you have your faults and you’re not perfect and all that, but we’re talking about marketing here, and you only market the gold.) Now let’s move on to the next level. Complete this phrase, using the same words as above. “My coaching is all about ______, ______, ______, ______, and ______.” Feel a little different? “Yeah, a bit.” That’s natural, only because of your familiarity with the two realms. “What do you mean?” Well, however old you are means that you’ve had that much time to know who you are the old way. That first phrase of how you believed you were has been “X” years in the making. But, “Y” is the amount of time that you’ve been involved in coaching. And I’m guessing it’s a bit shorter than “X” years. No worries, that’s pretty common. But the bottom line is that all you need is just a little more practice, experience and time to get used to your coaching power. That’s part of what this book is for, to help accelerate the process. Right now just stick with what you’ve got and follow the example below as we put this all together and get you into action.

PUTTING IT ALL TOGETHER Here’s my own example to serve as a guideline.

VALUES STRENGTHS COACHING PERSONAL OTHER MY SKILLS BENEFITS BENEFITS COACHING

Creativity Caring Curiosity Clearer focus Self Expression Empowerment

Strengthened Stronger sense of Fairness Creative Acknowledgment Clarity of purpose passion self

Forward action. Closer Generosity Playful Confidentiality Confidence Completion of relationships goals.

Deepening Feeling Learning Wise Failure as Learning Taking action relationships empowered

Playfulness Passionate Creating Trust Feeling Clarity of purpose Learning and

29 Excerpt from the song, “Look at me, I’m Wonderful,” courtesy of the Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band.

empowered and path. Growing

MY TOP FIVE WORDS: Empowerment, Passion, Creativity, Playful, Relationships. “I am all about… Empowerment, Passion, Creativity, Playful and Relationships. “My coaching is overflowing with Empowerment, Passion, Creativity, Playful and Relationships.” “That’s nice and all, but it seems a little sterile.” You’re right. At this point it’s pretty simple and straightforward. There’s no “oomph” to it. It’s a good thing this isn’t the final stage. Up to now we’ve been focusing on getting to know you— uncovering all that attractive gold that you’ve got inside you. Now we get to shift our focus to creating your Branding statement, or more fitting, your Personal Empowering Phrase.

CREATING YOUR PEP “Pep? What is that? Am I supposed to go around like a cheerleader or something?” Well, that’s perhaps your own choice. (Pom-poms are optional.) First we’re going to start off with a little exploring, just to get your juices flowing. Similar to that little exercise that you did at the beginning of this book30, I want you to take a moment and just capture what is exciting to you about coaching. What is it about coaching that turns you on? What do you believe is possible with coaching? It’s more than just the benefits that you’ve experienced and created, let’s make this personal. In fact, it can even be a little messy. No need to go too crazy, keep it something around 250-300 words, just enough to allow you to tap into the groovy awesomeness of coaching without getting too large and cumbersome. Something like: “I love coaching because I love helping people and being of service to them. Along the way in my training, I discovered that I get to truly just be me—like, I could show up fully and not feel like I had to hide or compromise a part of myself or pretend to be something I’m not. What a sense of freedom. I had permission to dream and think big and feel like I’m living with purpose. And coaching is so awesome because I get to do that for other people. I get to creatively help them show up more fully in their lives. I love seeing my clients become more confident and it’s so great when I help them get unstuck. Usually it’s some out-of-the-box idea that totally engages them and they get into action. Same goes for me. I didn’t realize just how hard my life was. I was so deep in the struggle and feeling lost and overwhelmed that I didn’t really get how there could be a different way. But the second I stepped into coaching, I realized that I am in charge of my life, and I get to play and enjoy it. Coaching is how we learn to choose our own lives and not give in to that lesser part. Another thing that I love about coaching is that there’s always a new way to connect and grow and help someone else. And I love discovering all those ways I can be their empowerment partner. My heart breaks when I hear people stuck in their old programming and I just want to shake ‘em up and shout out, ‘It doesn’t have to be this way! You can change your life and love your life! Completely!’ I love that I can do that.”

30 Remember that? It was all about what got you interested and involved in coaching in the first place. What excites you and engages you about coaching? Well, we want to reconnect with those powerful feelings of hope and possibility that initially motivated you and kick it up a notch. This is where you can reconnect with your coaching passion and purpose. You’ll see what we do with it in a moment. But before that, it’s best that you do this exercise as fully as you can. Trust me. Passion and Purpose usually make things go much more smoothly.

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You’ll perhaps notice some little buzz words that seem to be popping up. Go ahead, read it over again, and see if you can spot these words. Helping. Showing up Fully. Freedom. Dream. Creative. Confidence. Out of the Box. Engaging. In Action. In Charge. Choice. Connect. Grow. Empowerment. Partner. Shake it up. Love. Golly gee. They sure look similar to those words that showed up on my Coaching Grid In fact, they’re even pretty close to the top five words I selected for my P-E-P. It may not exactly be a match, in fact, there may be some on your P-E-P that don’t seem to appear in this paragraph. That’s just fine. The purpose of this particular exercise is just to allow you to step away from all the rules and structures of what you’re supposed to do for a moment and give yourself a chance to explore and express that engaged and excited side. So go ahead. Write your own little paragraph on what excites you about coaching. Feel free to share your enthusiasm and excitement and just freely write about the awesomeness of what you are doing. (And don’t worry about it being perfect and awesome ‘cause you’re the only one who’s going to read it. Just let your heart and spirit and passion flow.31) Here, I’ll start you off. Do your best to fill the whole section. "I love coaching because ______

31 What a great topic for your journaling (if you do that. And if you don’t you might consider taking it up. It’s a great way to explore and express). For the next week start off every entry with “I love coaching because… and see what different answers come up each time. The more you do it, the deeper your discovery, awareness and connection grows. And that’s a good thing. That’s what you want more of.

______” There. Well done. Now that you’ve got all that out into the open, how do you feel? “Pretty pumped up. Thanks for letting me do that.” No problem. It’s important to be able to freely express yourself (remember that when you’re working with your clients). And just like my example above, notice what words are popping up. Perhaps it’s almost as though they stand out on the page. I’ll bet they look familiar. You know, like they appeared on your own Coaching Grid. Which means it’s likely most (if not all) of your top five words you chose for your P-E-P are there. Again, don’t worry if they don’t all show up. It doesn’t mean you did this exercise wrong or that those words aren’t right. It simply means that in this moment, you wrote from your heart and passion and this is what was alive for you. It’s that passion, that energy and that purpose you feel about your coaching that we want to capture.32 And that is the extra magic that will help you connect with others powerfully and deeply. (We’ll talk more about why later on.) For the moment, put this passion-energy-purpose paragraph on hold for a moment and let’s go back to that content you previously uncovered, all those delicious and wonderful words, and start crafting a powerful statement—one that clearly encompasses who you are and what you and your coaching is all about. And make sure you write it down. I have a feeling it will come in handy later on. Just a hunch. (It’s a good thing that I provided space below.) In fact, you may want to try several different approaches to find the one that feels right for you. Also, try to keep it under 50 words. It may feel tricky to pull off at first, but trust me, simpler is better.33 There are different ways to form your phrase. Play around with what feels right for you. Here are some examples to serve as a guideline. There are many other ways as well, so have fun exploring. VERSION #1 (simple, your words describe you and your coaching): “My coaching is playful and passionate. It’s all about helping you deepen your relationships, feeling empowered, and living fully into your passion. I’m committed to connecting with you and having you discover their own power.” VERSION #2 (try focusing on the struggles of the other person): “If your life is too serious, I’m your coach. Feeling dull and uninspired? Call me. Struggling with your relationships, I can help. Missing out on a passionate life? Instead of being a helpless victim in your life, be my client.” VERSION #3 (your words are about the clients you want to attract): “I’m committed to working with those who love to be playful and creative. My clients are passionate and empowered and have fulfilling relationships. If that’s you, then you know what to do.” Here, now you give it a try. VERSION #1: ______VERSION #2: ______

32 Well what do you know? Another kind of P-E-P. But that’s not really what P-E-P stands for. Read on. You’ll see. 33 I know this sometimes can feel a little awkward and clunky. Don’t worry, it’s not intended to be a final product. Just do your best.

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______VERSION #3: ______Your Personal Lie Detector: ______We have a built-in Lie Detector that never If you need more space, you can use the back of this page. seems to fail. As a result, we cannot Write as many versions as you like. It’ll either help you actually lie to ourselves. This can become refine your phrase so that it’s sharp, empowering, and a problem when we’re reciting rote affirmations to ourselves in an attempt to engaging, or you’ll amass several that you can apply to your “rewire” our synapses. If there is a part of marketing. (Remember, you’re not creating your actual us (the Saboteur, perhaps) that doesn’t marketing copy, this is about discovering and creating your believe the words, then the phrase won’t Branding, so don’t worry about making it perfect. Just allow stick. In fact, those insincere affirmations yourself to explore. Part of the purpose of this is to begin could even begin to reinforce the limiting and negative beliefs that we’re trying to working that marketing muscle of yours for when you need to undo. truly convey your “gold.”) However, note that your PEP is built of words that you chose as true for you from There. That wasn’t so hard, was it? Now before we take your real past and your real experiences. all of this information and convert it into your Stage One Therefore, your PEP is 100% real and true Marketing to help you begin Finding Your First Five Clients!, (and now, I suspect, much more exciting to let’s first learn how to use this phrase in an even more focus on). So there will be resonance when powerful way. you visit this phrase. You’re not “lying” to yourself, but building upon the “truth” that “So what is this? Some sort of an elevator speech or you already know, but just keep forgetting. something?” Not really. In some ways this could be considered a part of an elevator speech, but this is actually for a different purpose, as you’ll soon see. Basically an elevator speech is a quick synopsis of your niche, target audience, and the benefits of your coaching. This is more about who you are as a coach deep down—your gold. Remember, at this point, it’s most likely that you aren’t sure who your target audience is, nor your niche, and you’ve only just got clear about some of the benefits. Most likely, if you crafted an elevator speech now, it would feel clunky and not be too specific and clear (which is what an elevator speech needs to be) . Of course, as you go on, you can create your own elevator speech, using this as a baseline to start from, but this branding phrase is more about expressing WHO you are as a coach, and ideally, everything that follows should be in some sort of What's your Already Brand? alignment with this statement. Think about it this way. Branding is how we see a Look over what you have so far, knowing that product, the emotions that are triggered and the beliefs that are created. It's our way of “knowing” what that it will continue to evolve and refine as you product is all about. continue to do so. But with what you have so far, So let's make this about you. how does it feel? What do people already know about you? How do they already connect and see you? What is their impression “That’s pretty cool. I mean, I hadn’t really of you after you leave? What judgments and looked at myself or my coaching in that way. assumptions do they make before they even see you? See? You already have a brand. Now you can It’s kind of exciting.” consciously and intentionally shift and alter that Would you say that you’re full of PEP? perception to your desired image and who you really are.

“PEP? What are we, back in 1951? Oh, I get it. P-E-P. Personal Empowering Phrase. Yeah. That’s really clever.” Hey, what do you want? It’s easy to remember, right? So now that we have your PEP, or Personal Empowering Phrase, and it’s time to make it work for you. “Yeah, but HOW is this going to work for me? I mean, it’s just a phrase. And kind of a sterile one at that.” True. It’s just a bunch of words that you put together. However, they are the words that you specifically selected as best representing you and your coaching at your most authentic self. Now here’s where we get to take that phrase and infuse it with your above passionate paragraph. Don’t worry if it sounds and feels awkward and clunky at first, this is new. Play with it and write it out a few different times to blend the “information” with the “energy and enthusiasm”. Again, you don’t want this to be too long. Keep it simple and sweet. I’d say about 100 words should be a good average. You know, something like this: “I’m so excited. I’m stepping out in a new direction in my life and training myself to become a coach. Already I’ve learned more about myself and my old habits that were keeping me stuck and I’m now in a powerful place to actually create my life the way I want it. And the best part is I get to help you do it too. I want to help you find where you’re stuck and then discover your own power to create your life the way you want it. And with coaching, we can do that. That is, if you want it.” Notice how those top five words from my grid aren’t obviously listed, but reread the above paragraph and see if you can see these words hidden in there: Empowerment, Passion, Creativity, Playful, Relationships. Are they there? “Yeah, I can certainly see the Empowerment part. And there’s clearly Passion in your words. And I can even see some of the Playful and Relationships.” Great. How about this one? “I have a vision. A vision where people are doing the jobs that they love doing. Where everyone has the time to play and have fun instead of working so hard. A vision where the hard in life is hardly there, and the struggle is stripped away. A vision where all things are possible and we wake up every day excited like we were when we were five. Does that sound like something you’d like? Well, that’s what coaching has given to me, and I want to help you get it too.” How about that? What words pop up here? “Well, there’s more Creativity. And Playful. Definitely that. Passion is still there, along with Relationships. Heck, I could pretty much find all of them there.” Exactly. And you’ll see, it’s not so much about repeating verbatim the words that I’ve uncovered, but that I’m embodying and expressing those words in what I’m sharing. Here’s one more to consider. “What is coaching? I’m sure you’ve heard about it. But what is it? It’s about finding where you’re stuck and getting unstuck. It’s about creating new habits to replace those old ones that aren’t working anymore. It’s about loving your life instead of just getting through it. Coaching is where you get to

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 74 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org have a partner helping you out of the box. A coach runs alongside you, cheering you on, helping you back on your feet when you fall and celebrating your successes, of which there are many. I want to be your coach.” Are you getting this? “Yeah, I think so. There are elements of all of those words in each of the paragraphs. You don’t come right out and say, I’m this, this and this, but yet in sharing your enthusiasm and passion, those qualities just seem to naturally show up.” By Jove, I think you’ve got it. Now it’s your turn. Go ahead, give it a try. PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE #1: ______PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE #2: ______PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE #3: ______So now look at what you’ve created so far. How does this feel? “Well, it is pretty exciting. However, I’m not sure if I’ve quite got it right. I mean, there’s just so much that I want to say and I don’t have a lot of space.” Don’t worry, that’s natural. And I’m glad you brought that up because trying to say everything can be an easy trap to fall into. You can’t say everything and you shouldn’t. Take a look at the magazines that have those three-page-pharmaceutical ads. How much do you pay attention to them? “Not much. In fact, not at all. I just skip right over all that and get to the good stuff.” Correct. What you don’t want to do is overwhelm anyone with a whole lecture on how wonderful you are and how awesome coaching is. You want to just give them a taste of the good stuff. If they’re interested, they’ll want more. Bennie had the idea of hiring teenagers to stand outside the restaurant and hand out samples of a new smoothie to all the passersby. And they’re standing under a sign that says, “Sip it or dunk it! Our new ketchup and mustard smoothie is a perfect complement to any of our burgers. Super Easy meets Great Flavor, all at a low price.”

You see? It’s just a little taste of what’s to come. That’s what you’re doing. The other thing to remember is that what you have been creating is more than just words… these are powerful words that can have a genuine impact on the people you’re reaching out to as well as your own self-concept because there are some simple, yet powerful universal laws that will work instantly in your favor (in other words, this is awesome stuff that just happens automatically).

POWERFUL UNIVERSAL LAWS True or False?: Law #1: You (and therefore your coaching) are most The thing to remember about your attractive when you are authentic. That’s why we’re spending brain is that it can’t really tell the difference between real and imaginary. all this time working on revealing who you are at your most Studies have shown that the stimulus authentic brilliance. Look at some of those people who you most that occurs when something really admire and are attracted to. I’m guessing that (with some small happens and when the person is merely exceptions) it has something to do with how authentically they thinking about it are practically show up. The same holds for you, too. It’s a universal law that identical. This means that even though the “you suck, what a loser, you’re not can’t be denied. good enough” conversation is Law #2: You (and therefore your coaching) are most technically fictional and in your head, powerful and compelling when you are authentic. If you’re you still react in the same way as you would if someone was actually saying being false in any way, it will affect your coaching and your that. Defensive chemicals get squirted client will sense it. Look at your teachers and leaders. You can throughout your body and you go into tell instantly when they are “putting it on” and when they are protection mode. In other words, you being authentic. I’m telling you, this stuff is magic. play small and safe. Well, if that’s the case, and the brain If by showing up authentically, you are expressing yourself can’t tell the difference, then why not fully, when you show up fully as a coach, you are therefore choose something a little more expressing yourself authentically. It’s just that easy. interesting for it to “believe”? What we’re talking about is the difference between DOing coaching and BEing a coach. By connecting with this Empowering Phrase, which allows you to tap into your authentic coaching self, you have the ability to present yourself authentically, attractively, and powerfully. And the work you’ve just done (your Passion, Energy and Purpose and your top 5 coaching words) has helped you create a phrase that powerfully expresses your full and authentic coaching self that’s mighty irresistible and highly attractive. How exciting is that? “That’s pretty cool. I can’t wait to see how we can start putting this phrase into action.” I can dig it. And I can’t wait to walk you through the next exiting steps. But first, I thought I’d offer a little extra way to use this to help you grow even more confident and powerful… automatically. Consider it an Extra Bonus.

EXTRA BONUS Take your Personal Empowering Phrase (if you haven’t done so already, pick your favorite from your list, the one with the most resonance for you). Add to this statement the number of clients you desire (at least this time around, in other words, you want “5”). Add “by when” you will have them (one month is a good average time to shoot for, but you can modify that goal to your liking) . Repeat this out loud to yourself at least twice a day—once when you wake up, and once when you go to bed.34

34 It doesn’t have to be only twice. Heck, the more, the better, as you’ll soon see.

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“Why am I doing this? Just talking to myself? How is that going to help me be a better coach?” Glad you asked. And of course it’s not just an easy way for me to fill a bunch of pages with my excellent typing. There are some powerful reasons behind this simple little ritual, ones that can create amazing results. How you see yourself is how you train the rest of the world to see you. (Go back and read that sentence again. It just might be important.) If you continue to repeat this Personal Empowering Phrase over and over until you begin to believe it, then you will be setting the example for yourself in your interactions with your clients. Basically, what you’re doing is creating an alignment between your inside environment (how you see yourself) and the outside environment (how others see you). Also, remember that rewiring-synapses-and-neurons-in-your-brain thing that I mentioned earlier? Well, by repeating this phrase to yourself over and over, recent studies by some of the greatest neurological experts have shown you’re basically doing just that. You’re training yourself to see yourself differently. It’s sort of a “fake it ’till you make it” approach. But it works. Big time. 35 I’m going to challenge you to commit to this exercise for just one week. One week of repeating this phrase to yourself twice a day, out loud, and tell me if you don’t notice something happening. I don’t know what it might be. It could be that you have started to believe it. Perhaps your confidence has started growing. Maybe you are beginning to show up differently with your clients. Or that new clients are suddenly showing up. Or it might even be something else. But give it an honest attempt. C’mon, admit it. Aren’t you just a little bit curious to see what will happen? In fact, we’re going to take this concept and give it a powerful jump start. I mean, do you really want to Find Your First Five Clients powerfully? “Yeah, you bet I do.” Good, then we’re going to do a little extra exercise that you probably did in school.

READ THE WRITING ON THE WALL “What does that mean? Are we talking about graffiti?” No. I just thought we ought to have a catchy clever phrase to begin this section. “Well it didn’t work. Could you just explain it simply, without the clever metaphors for a change?” If you need additional help... Contact me at [email protected] or 630-484- Fine. We’re going to employ a technique used by 2336 for that complementary call. I know teachers around the world when they want to create a new that I just walked you through this step by habit (or eventually replace a “bad” one) that uses the action step, but sometimes even simple stuff can be challenging when we're learning to look of writing on the wall. at ourselves in a new way. “You mean, the whole, ‘write it 100 times on the So I'm happy to give you a full hour to help you clarify your PEP to be sure that you're blackboard’ until your fingers fall off and you’re choking on getting the absolute most out of this book. chalk dust?”

35 In the back of this book, you'll see a special page with “My Coaching is...” in big letters. Print or tear it out and write your top five words or your PEP on it. Jazz it up, make it pretty, exciting, cool and engaging, and place it wherever you coach. This way, whenever you need it, you have an instant visual reminder of who you are as a coach and the wonderful qualities you offer. Easy and fun.

The very same. Now, although this technique comes from something that is usually considered a punishment, I don’t want you to feel like that’s what we’re doing here. On the contrary, this is actually a very powerful tool that will deepen your PEP and your empowered sense of self, thereby encouraging new habits and amazing results to appear much more quickly and powerfully. “Really?” Yep. And it all has to do with utilizing that good old art of repetition, turbo-style. “Turbo-style? What does that mean?” Well, remember that whole thing I just mentioned about repetition and reprogramming your brain? “Yeah.” Well get ready for some serious reprogramming. “Ok. So what do I do?” Simple. On the following pages you’ll see space for you to write down your PEP, again and again. Fill up the whole page. And then move on to the next and fill that page, too. “What? Two full pages?” Most definitely. “But that’s writing the same phrase over and over, like 100 times. It seems a bit repetitive.” Exactly. You’re catching on. Remember, repetition is key. You’ve probably had a long history of that pesky Saboteur convincing you that you’re not a real coach, and you’re a novice at this, and you don’t know what you’re doing, and who’s going to want to work with you anyway, etc., etc. You need a little help, right? So let’s tip the scales back in your favor. Fill up both of these pages with your PEP. And by the way, it’s really only 32 times. Now, why are you doing this? Well, for several reasons. First off, it’s reinforcing your memory. The more you repeat it over and over, the more you’ll be less likely to forget what this whole PEP thing was that you worked on. But there’s still more to be gained by this tedious little exercise.

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My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______My Coaching is… ______

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This task also engages some of your primary channels of information,36 as you utilize your sight and the muscles in your hand. It becomes new information that is going back into your brain. Now your eyes have seen the same phrase over and over (Visual Stimuli), 32 times. And the muscles in your fingers have been involved in creating those words (Physical Stimuli). “Yeah, and all the stimuli is making my hand hurt.” Great. “Great? You mean that’s a good thing?” Certainly. It means that you’re working yourself beyond your comfort zone, even physically. That’s the only way we get stronger is to push ourselves. Also, you’re creating a sort of “muscle memory”, similar to the whole Karate Kid “wax on, wax off” thing. Of course this is on a much smaller scale, but the idea is basically the same. You’re adding an emotion and a feeling (in this case, a little pain) which always helps us remember things. Look into your past. What’s the first memory that pops up from your first job? What’s the first memory you have of school? What to you think about when you remember your best friend? For the most part, I’m betting that there is some sort of emotion or feeling involved. Love, fear, anger, pain, suffering, elation, all of that adds a layer to our memories that has them stand out. So you’re adding an emotion or sensation to this action, thereby making it easier to remember. See? “I guess so.” But wait, there’s more. (Who’d’a thought there was so much available just by writing something down 32 times?) Also, it’s taking what was inside (your thoughts, which are doing no good there except occasionally giving you a nudge) and putting them out into the world. You want to talk about reality? You, my friend, have just established a new reality. There is a now tangible document that clearly 32 times just how awesome you are. Breathe. And with that breath, take it in. (Tactile Stimuli.) So you can see, this is why writing it down—declaring in print out goals, our actions tasks, our desires and our vision—can constitute a solid first step. If we keep our thoughts and desires and intentions solely in the arena of the brain, they continue to swim around and stay murky, always shifting and never really taking root. Remember: Our thoughts are like water sloshing against the insides of our brain. Go ahead, try to pick up water. Sure, you might be able to get a little by cupping your hands. But try it without providing any container, just grabbing it with your thumb and fingers. It’s a little tricky, huh? But by writing it down, you’re taking the first step in creating your new reality. And that’s something you definitely can grab and hold onto. Go ahead. Grab and hold onto these pages with your thumb and fingers. See? They’re real. So let’s visit Bennie back at the very beginning stages of his empire and see how this works.

36 Your brain is continually processing all the information that comes in through the five (and perhaps other less widely acknowledged) senses. So when we’re talking about “channels of information” we’re referring to the different ways information enters your brain. The most heavily used ones are sight and hearing, but don’t forget there’s also taste, smell and touch (which includes muscle memory—from repeating an action over and over.) Each of these channels can be used singularly or in combination with others. So the more channels you utilize, the more ways your brain is being fed the same information.

One day, Bennie was visiting his local fast food burger place and felt disappointed at the quality of food. He was also amazed at the very limited options on the menu and thought to himself that there must be an easy way to create a wide range of exciting food for people to eat quickly. While he was thinking about it, he started getting ideas about what kind of burgers he would really like to have—like the “bananas-foster burger” and the “Burger Thermidor”—and he began to get even more excited. “How brilliant,” he thought to himself. “In fact, I could start my own place and offer all the wonderful burgers that I could think of.” And then he went about his day. By the time he got home, he was having a hard time remembering just what that amazing idea was that he had had. “I know it had something to do with food. And bananas. And I think there was lobster somewhere? But that sure doesn’t make sense.” Because he kept the thoughts in his brain, they stayed in his brain, swimming around and around with all the millions and billions of other thoughts that were competing for that space. (Has this ever happened to you?) But then, as fortune would have it, while he was watching television one day he saw a commercial for another boring fast-food place. And it jarred his memory back to what he had been thinking. This time he was in a place where he could write down his thoughts. He began to take notes and log everything he was thinking. At first it was just a jumble of ideas, the same jumble that continued to swim around in his mind, without really taking any form. Just a hodge-podge of various thoughts and ideas that, when actually captured, didn’t make as much sense as they initially seemed, and his energy around his new idea became clunky and scattered, and Bennie got to wondering if in fact he wasn’t so brilliant after all. Maybe he was the only one that would like it and nobody would come through the doors and buy his crazy food. (Again, does this sound familiar?) However, just as he was about ready to give in and agree with his pesky Saboteur about this cockamamie idea (it was clearly sabotaging his ability to focus and move forward and providing a very tempting argument to get involved in some mundane task like online solitaire), he decided to stick with is awhile and continued to write his thoughts down. And amazingly, little by little, the ideas began to return. In fact, the more he wrote down and could see his thoughts turn into words and then into sentences and then into paragraphs, the more he began, not only to like his idea again, but to get really excited about it. And, with something down in black-and-while, he could then easily and effectively revisit the content and clarify and elaborate his ideas, thus allowing the concept to grow and flourish and take shape as a full-fledged plan. And with that plan, he could then begin getting to work to make it happen. Pretty cool, huh? “Yeah. That’s happened to me, too. I can think of plenty of great ideas, but if I don’t write them down, I’ll usually forget them. But when I take the time to write them down, it becomes easier to get clear about what it really was that I was thinking.” Exactly. But wait. There’s more. We’re just getting warmed up. Back to the exercise and those pages you just did. (You did complete them, didn’t you? Be sure to fill out those pages and then get ready, cause here’s where it really gets juicy good fun.) The next step is to take what you’ve written down and plunge into those words and their meaning even deeper by speaking them aloud. “What? You don’t mean that I have to read those two pages of the same thing over and over!”

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That’s exactly what I mean. I’ll point out that you don’t have to do it. You could simply skip over this section and move on. However, then there will always be that little voice in your head that keeps saying, “You know, what if you had done that exercise? What if you had followed everything that this guy told you to do? I mean, it was only 32 times, how long does that really take? Can you really say you’re serious about Finding Your First Five Clients if you’re not even willing to take five minutes to do something to build yourself?” (See? I can use that little bugger to advantage, too.) Which is to say. you could just continue to believe your old programming. Besides, some of those already set neuron pathways (more like grooves) are cut pretty deep and hard to change. But I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I/ You’re going to need all the help you can get. “All right, all right. You made your point. But do I have to do it out loud?” Again, you don’t have... “Yeah, yeah. I know. Just tell me. Why is it important that I read this stuff out loud?” Well, I’m glad you asked. The simple task of speaking it out loud actually Using Your Paper Filter benefits in a few ways. First off, you’re creating in a Another juicy benefit of this whole writing-down new way. And, let’s face it, that’s what you’ve been business is that it allows you to take whatever ideas doing this whole time, right? Creating. First we in your head, that are taking up precious time and started off by creating the thought of who you are— energy to keep remembering them, and literally giving it to the paper to hold on for you. That’s your PEP. Then we created the image by writing it why writing down appointments in a datebook down, so that it’s not just a transient thought, but works so much better than tracking everything something solid you can see with your own eyes. mentally. You end up using so much energy and Now, we’re adding sound to the mix, making it more brain power trying to remember everything. real. Yet another benefit is that you can then clearly see if the ideas that are brilliant in your head perhaps Think about the movies. If you’ve ever seen those really aren’t so brilliant and then you can easily let old black and white silent films, they can be exciting, them go, making room for other more important and engaging and entertaining, but we’re continually beneficial thoughts to come in. reminded that it’s a movie. It doesn’t look, sound, or feel real and so it’s hard to take them too seriously. However, check out the latest films in the theaters today. Brilliant color, booming sound, and 3-D effects and Smell-O-Vision to make it feel even more real.37 So we buy into the story more deeply and allow yourself to be fully engaged in the movie going experience. The same is true for your new reality. The more you create, and the more ways you create (the more channels of information that are utilized and the more experiences you... um, experience), the more “real” it will becomes for you. “Ok. I got it. But you said there were a few benefits.” Yes, I did. Thanks for remembering. The process of speaking your thoughts aloud also serves as the bridge between thought and action. If we just spend all of our time just thinking and thinking and thinking about something, typically not

37 See? More channels of information going to your brain, thereby making it an even more powerful experience.

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 83 of 155 much actually happens. Change doesn’t simply occur. This isn’t like “Harold Hill’s ‘Think System’ for playing music.”38 I know I may seem to be contradicting myself. On earlier pages in this very book I say, “just think about it” and “your thoughts create your world” and “train your brain” and “thought is energy”. And while that is true, let’s also remember that if we’re talking about the “Law of Attraction”, we have to recognize the two powerful words that are involved. Attract and Action. Well, this is the Action part. Of course, the more action you take, and the more you reinforce your powerful and positive thoughts, the more you can create your new reality. I realize that simply writing it out doesn’t make it a done deal. If that were the case, you could simply write out “I have a million dollars and am overflowing with clients” and say it out loud until the sun goes down. And after four months of that, chances are your bank account won’t have changed much. But then, taking no action will guarantee nothing changes. Your Auto-matic Success! Every success had to start somewhere. The trick is to The next time you get in your car, try this out. start properly. Don’t turn on the car just yet. First, think about where you want to go. What’s the direction you need “Start ‘properly’? You mean there’s a wrong to face in order to get there? Here’s your chance to do a whole lot of good thinking on the matter. way to start?” Once you’ve figured it all out, chances are if you’re Well, technically, there’s no really wrong way to in a parking space or your driveway or garage, you’re going to have to change directions in order to start. Oftentimes it’s just important that you start get there. So do that. Get your car pointed in the moving. Sometimes we get so hooked on the “right” right direction, but without turning the ignition key. way that we end up not moving at all. When all that’s Nothing happens, right? That’s because you action needed is just to pick a direction and go, go, go. is required to change your car’s direction. Well, it’s the same with your life. The problem is that when we set our goals and begin to move forward, we’re actually skipping steps. Remember how that creates overwhelm? Well, not only that, but it can also create unfulfilled desires and results. “What do you mean?” Here. Let’s look at it with the simple formula of ATEBAR. “ATEBAR? Isn’t that some Star Wars guy?”39 Normally it’s the formula of AR that we tend to follow, but as you can see, it’s short and doesn’t really mean anything. “Yeah, but neither does ATEBAR.” The problem is that there are the three steps of ATB that come before AR that got completely passed over. “Yeah, but...” As a result even though we can set up amazing and inspiring Action steps in order to achieve our desired result, the Actions don’t have any support from the previous steps. “Are you listening to me? What are you talking about?”

38 From the musical The Music Man. Harold Hill is a salesman who convinces the town of River City, Iowa, to buy pricey musical instruments and form a town band. No training is necessary, all they have to do is think the “Minuet in G” and they’ll be able to play it. 39 Actually you were thinking of General Akbar, a Mon Calamari who led the rebels to victory against the empire. In Return of the Jedi,” he was the one that looked like a squid. But I don’t want you to know how much of a geek I am about this stuff, so I’ll just leave it at that.

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Sorry. We’re talking about the five-stage process of creating your success. Here, I’ll slow down a little so that you really get this. Let’s go through these simple steps, in reverse. Let’s start with the end RESULT. It’s usually the first thing we think of when we address something we want to change or achieve or create. It’s the outcome we want to have or experience. It’s what we work towards. This could be something as simple as “I want to Find My First Five Clients!” So what do we do? Next, normally, we look at what ACTIONS will create those RESULTS. This is the simple law of “cause and effect”40, or “If I take this ACTION, then I will get this RESULT.” So looking at the end RESULT of “Finding Your First Five Clients!”, what would be some of the ACTIONS you could take in order to achieve and create those RESULTS? “Well, I could market myself and ask people to be my client. And there’s always the big, guaranteed system that you’re talking about in this book and will hopefully tell me about soon. Other than that, I don’t know. Otherwise I’d be doing it. BREAK IT DOWN Exactly. Think about it this way. Your belief, is how you BE in your LIFE. “But I know this stuff already. So why am I freaking Yes, I know if we put those words together it and having a such a hard time convincing myself to do actually spells BELIFE, with is incorrect. But any of it?” that doesn’t dilute the meaning of the words. Your BE-LEIF is how you BE in your LIFE. Despite that you intellectually know what to do, that freaking out indicates there’s most likely something that’s blocking or limiting those ACTIONS. We’re talking about your BELIEF. It’s your BELIEFS that pave the way for your actions. Just for the moment, imagine a successful and powerful and confident coach. Perhaps it’s one that you already know or have seen their stuff. Look at that coach. How do you suspect they see themselves and what is their BELIEF about who they are and what they offer? Then, ask yourself. How would that coach who BELIEVES him or herself to be successful, powerful and confident ACT? “Well, I suppose they would be marketing themselves much more confidently than I imagine myself doing and wouldn’t feel so awkward and uncomfortable when talking about coaching. Not only that, but they would probably be really out there promoting themselves. They’d have a website, they’d have a blog. They’d probably be leading classes and writing books to help other people learn and grow. They’d really be proactive and have a clear plan of action. They’d even have help like an assistant or a web person to handle stuff to make sure it all runs smoothly.” Correct. In other words, because they BELIEVE themselves to be successful, powerful and confident, they’re going to ACT as though they are. “Yeah, but I’m not...” Should Old Resolutions Be Forgot… The next time you hear someone making a Yet. Give it time. Besides, there are still two more steps resolution, notice that they’re almost that come before that. Trying to change your BELIEFS always starting at the fourth step. Do them instantly can sometimes be next to impossible. Which is why a favor and help them look back to the New Year’s resolutions tend to fail. Typically, we look at the earlier stages they should consider. end result or change that we want to have, and decide on It’s great practice for you and it’ll be a great help to them as well. some pretty exciting ACTION steps, but we don’t have the

40 We’ll explore this principle further in a few pages.

BELIEF system to support those ACTIONS. A popular example is that fierce resolve to “work out every day and lose that nagging 10 pounds.” One clearly has an action plan: “Go to the gym every day.” But still lurking beneath it is an old BELIEF, that usually goes something like, “I don’t have the time,” or “I don’t know what to do,” or “it’s hard,” or “the last time I tried that, I didn’t get the results I wanted, so really what’s the point?” So you see, in order for these new actions to actually have a chance, we need to go back a step in the process and change our BELIEFS. Ah, but how is BELIEF created? “Well, if I look at this ATEBAR thing you wrote down and go backwards, I’d say it begins with the next letter ‘T’. So does that stand for ‘thought’?” BINGO! “It stands for BINGO? Don’t be ridiculous. That begins with a ‘B’.” No, I meant that your answer was right. WDWD THOUGHT. Our BELIEFS come from our There is tremendous power and value within our THOUGHTS. What we repeatedly think, we come to Wishes, Desires, Wants and Dreams (in fact, I have a wonderful exercise that focuses on just BELIEVE. Especially when we think it with emotion. that. Cool stuff. Call me and we can go through And I’m not talking about our surface THOUGHTS of it), but we can’t confuse them with actual goals. fancy—notably our wishes and desires, our fantasies They’re a completely different world. and dreams. I’m talking about our deep THOUGHTS That’s like me wanting to have rock-hard abs, but about who we are and how we function in the world. I’m not willing to actually create a plan and make it happen. The more we THINK something—really deeply and It’s the difference between indulging a fantasy and powerfully THINK it, over and over, again and again, creating a commitment. until our THOUGHTS become so deeply engrained So ask yourself, is Finding Your First Five Clients they begin to materialize automatically—the more we just a fantasy? Or are you ready to do what it takes can shape and modify our BELIEFS. to transform that desire into a reality? If we look at this even deeper, we’ll discover that our BELIEFS are created by our THOUGHTS + our EMOTIONS. In other words, that which we think about , and connect with our emotions and feelings, becomes true. That defines our reality. Every belief that you have is created by the combination of a THOUGHT and an EMOTION working powerfully Use It or Lose It together. 41 What’s so amazing is that your brain is constantly creating thousands of new neurons every second So with this formula, by writing down your PEP 32 (and even more when you’re stimulating it with times and then speaking it aloud another 32 times, creativity or analytical thinking). slowly and deliberately, you’re training your brain to And if those new neurons are put to use, they think more automatically those THOUGHTS, thereby stick around. If, however, they are ignored and establishing a new BELIEF about yourself—that you you go back to the old ones, the new ones die out. This works both ways. If you continue to feed really are those five words in your PEP and more. And the new ones, the older ones lose their power. with that new BELIEF comes the ability and support to Truly what you give attention to grows. Literally. perform those necessary ACTIONS, ACTIONS you couldn’t take before when you were under that old limiting BELIEF. And with those new ACTIONS....

41 Perhaps I should have labeled this the ATEBAR formula, but I realize that there is only so much that you’ll be able to remember from this book, so I didn’t want to make this too complex. Besides, the THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS are tied in together in the same stage, so when we’re talking about our empowering thoughts, we’re also assuming that we’re including emotion. That’s certainly what happens in our coaching anyway. The more we dig into something, expand their AWARENESS, the more that emotions will naturally infuse with those new THOUGHTS. Now, you’re more AWARE of it, and so you can be more at the helm and use this to your, and your client’s, advantage.

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“I get those new desired RESULTS?” Yep. Now, of course, remember that this isn’t a predictable science we’re talking about. The five- step process of ATEBAR is, but that doesn’t mean that you make a little change in your THOUGHTS and then instantly and automatically get exactly the RESULTS you want. It’s all about discovering the correct THOUGHT, BELIEF, and ACTION that will eventually create the desired RESULT. There could be several times when you go back and repeat the formula, and create a new THOUGHT... which establishes a new BELIEF, setting the stage for new ACTIONS, and thus making possible a new RESULT. If you create the outcome you wanted, then congratulations. You did it. However, if it’s not quite to your specifications and desires, simply analyze what happened, go back to the beginning, create new THOUGHTS, to open up new ACTIONS, to move towards new RESULTS, then analyze, go back, new THOUGHTS, new BELIEFS, new ACTIONS, new RESULTS... and you get the picture. “Yeah. But what’s the ‘A’ in ATEBAR stand for? Is it the ‘Analyze’ step that you just mentioned?” Not quite. Actually the “A” stands for AWARENESS. That’s the real first step. Before you can do anything, you have to first open up and expand and deepen your AWARENESS. That’s what we’ve been doing in this whole book—increasing your AWARENESS of yourself, your Strengths and Values, what’s important to you about coaching, what you’re truly passionate about. We’ve also been expanding your AWARENESS of that annoying and debilitating Saboteur and those old negative and limiting THOUGHTS and BELIEFS that are so firmly established—and need altering or replacing. This whole book is designed to deepen and shift and stretch your AWARENESS, so that you begin to think different THOUGHTS about yourself and your coaching, thereby affecting and (hopefully) altering your BELIEFS, so that you can powerfully and confidently take new ACTIONS in order to increase the possibility of those desired RESULTS of “Finding Your First Five Clients!” And before you know it, you’re really in the groove. “What? You mean like with all the ‘bling with da homey’s’ and being ‘cool’ and ‘hep to the jive’ and all that?” No. that’s not what I meant. “I know, I’m just messing with you. I know that you’re really talking about the ‘grooves’ in the brain and that whole ‘river’ analogy you brought up earlier.” Ah. So you have been paying attention. “Yeah. A little bit. By the way, while we’re on that subject, it feels like some of my thought rivers are as big and deep as the Grand Canyon.” No doubt. And perhaps it feels like some habits and BELIEFS are impossible to change, right?

“Right.” Of course, it would be unrealistic to expect you to change some of those BELIEFS instantly, especially those that have been running for a long time and have gotten a lot of reinforcing. As you pointed out, I mentioned earlier about how your brain’s thought process creates patterns that literally dig a groove into your brain. And the more you repeat those THOUGHTS, the deeper you cut the pathway. Well, certainly, the deeper and wider and more established the path is, the harder it will be to alter it and it may, in fact, be cut as deep and wide as the Grand Canyon. But as we all know, the Colorado River, as mighty as it is, can be rerouted and shifted. That’s what they had to do when they built the Hoover

Dam. They couldn’t just stop the water for a few ONCE MORE WITH FEELING months, just like you can’t stop your THOUGHTS It’s important to also remember that it’s really those and your BELIEFS. Nor could they go in and THOUGHTS that are tied in with powerful EMOTIONS that become a BELIEF. This explains instantly change its course. But over time, they why we can think and think all we want, but if there slowly dug a new pathway for the river to follow, is an EMOTION that is scared or anxious, then that altering its direction just slightly to divert the flow. new thought won’t stick. And once they got it going, they let the power of the So check in with your THOUGHTS and the river complete the process for them. EMOTIONS that come with it. Does the EMOTION connect and contribute to the THOUGHT (in which Just like those marvelous engineers, you are case, you’re well on your way to creating a powerful digging new pathways for your THOUGHTS about new BELIEF) or does the EMOTION conflict or your coaching. The shovel you are using is the new collide with the THOUGHT (in which case, you’re more than likely feeding that old Saboteur we habit of believing in your ability to succeed as a discovered earlier. coach. And if you wield that shovel with enough of the correct focus and energy, consistently and persistently,42 you will create an even Grander Canyon that is deeper and wider and much more fulfilling than the narrow channel your energy was forced to flow along before. And the time to begin that process and start changing the course of your thought rivers is NOW. So, are you ready to start using your PEP to build new habits that will support you creating your coaching success? (And don’t worry, this is just the beginning. New small steps will be made, but BELIEVE me, if you can start now, BELIEVING the new “who you are” and “what you offer,” not only will those First Five Clients be that much easier to find, but all your clients will be as well. And much more.) I know you’re chomping at the bit, and we’ll get there soon enough. But I want to take this moment to quickly point out some other benefits that will 43 flow from this simple-yet-powerful exercise. Reverse the Verse We all want and need validation and approval You’re familiar with the old saying, “Seeing is and acknowledgment—to reinforce those new Believing.” Well, it actually doesn’t work that way. There are two variations of this phrase that are much BELIEFS and habits we’re creating. So here’s one. more powerful and accurate. I’ll admit it can be a little uncomfortable saying “Saying is Believing.” In other words, the more you things like, “My coaching is playful and passionate. say it, the more it becomes real. (Your local It’s all about deepening my relationships, feeling politician knows this.) But even more empowered and living fully into my passion. I’m importantly… “Believing is Seeing.” In other words, if you first committed to connecting with my clients and having Believe it, then you will See it. them discover their own power.” But when you By the way, does this all sound familiar? That’s take the time to say these things out loud, you get to cause I mentioned it earlier. My hope is, if I bring it actually hear those words coming back to you full of up enough times, you’ll get it. Really get it. life and energy. It will do you good, trust me, to hear each of those affirming and empowering phrases—about you—over and over again.

42 Secret and magic words I hope you’ll remember. I mentioned them earlier on, and what I said still holds true. Anything you do, especially when you’re establishing a new habit, must be done consistently and persistently in order to create true change and results. Just doing it once usually doesn’t work. Even twice is not enough. In marketing, skill building, and anything else, the more you do something, the easier it gets. 43 I’m all about Maximum benefit for Minimum effort. The exercises I offer in this book are simple. They can either be done casually, for minimal impact, or with full attention and conviction, opening the door to even greater RESULTS from that same action. Do the latter and I strongly believe you’ll get way more out of this book than you ever imagined possible.

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“Gosh, that would be pretty nice, now that you mention it.” Initially it may seem to go against certain things we may think we BELIEVE about ourselves. “Who am I to say such things,” whines that little voice that so easily creeps in. Early on in the recitation, your Saboteur may begin working overtime to convince you that, “This is ridiculous; this stupid exercise isn’t going to make a difference. Not only that, but you look and sound like some pompous windbag. I mean, who do you think you are, talking yourself up that way? Sheesh, what an ego you got.” Don’t worry, that’s all part of the process. Remember, it’s that voice’s job to keep you stuck right where you are and it will do anything to convince you to stop what you’re doing and turn back..44 That Saboteur is only re-running an old BELIEF that You are small, A beginner, Unskilled, unvaluable, You’re not those stupid PEP words and you never will be. Trust this process. It’s just two pages, fer crying out loud. We’re talking less than five minutes out of your day.45 By the time you get to the end of the first page, you may notice that voice getting a little quieter. You may even begin to find this to be a little fun. Eventually, as you continue to reinforce these new THOUGHTS, that cranky voice will fade completely and be replaced with a different and more empowering voice—one that BELIEVES in you. Remember, this is the process of shifting and creating your NEW BELIEFS about who you are. And again, you get to receive some wonderful acknowledgment from the world outside your head about how powerful and impactful you really are. So, make sure you’ve fully explored your PEP on those previous pages and then completely fill up those two “My Coaching is...” sheets with your phrase and words. If you really want to get into this, copy those pages and double your work, so that you have 64 times to remind yourself of who you are. Now, take those two pages, find a comfortable place to stand, place your hand on your heart and read those pages out loud. “Oh, we’re back to that. I was hoping Take a Friend Down Your River Do you have a hard time with the idea of letting you had forgotten. So, just to be sure I someone down? Do you end up doing whatever it got this straight: You want me to stand up takes to accomplish a task if someone else is and read out loud those two pages, the same expecting it? Then this is the exercise for you. Find someone who believes and supports you in phrase over and over?” this coaching thing that you’re taking on. Ask Just do it. And remember: put your whole self into them to sit down and simply be a witness to you as 46 you read your pages out loud to them. it. You get what you give. (Was that you I just head say “Woah!”?) With this simple action, you’re using that 44 And“dependable” what makes quality this even to worseyour advantage. is that once youNow, go that way, that same irritating voice will invariably tell you to go back to the first way.someone And then else back knows the other who way.you REALLYAnd then the are first and way again. And on and on, so you end up going nowhere. This is what makes that voiceevery so insidioustime you and see destructive. them, you Nwoill matter have whata constant direction you take, you can’t win. The best way to really win is not to make up your mindreminder not to play that that someone game anymore. else knows, too. 45 ByNow the that’s way, inputting case you’re your interested,strengths that’sto work only for 1/288 you.th of your day. Even if you subtract eight hours to sleep, it would still only take nd 1/192 of your day. And who knows, if you do this enough, you may even find yourself doing it in your sleep. 46 I should remind you that this isn’t an exact formula and literal guarantee. In other words, just because you give someone $100 doesn’t mean that you then get $100. Then again, the whole concept of currency is that you are exchanging money for goods or services. But then again, just because you give someone $100 value of your time, or a product that’s worth $100, doesn’t always mean you get the actual $100 in return. However, if we open up to the world of Energy (as I’ve mentioned a couple times in this book) then we can see that if you give 100 of something, you are putting 100 Energy out there. And energy doesn’t go away, it just transforms and keeps moving and impacting. In other words, keep an eye out for the unexpected things that you actually do get from all that you’re giving. I bring this up, because we can get easily hooked on our own RESULTS, and when they don’t turn out the way we hoped or expected, then we label our

By saying it out loud, you’re using the muscles in your mouth to form the words. By hearing it, you are engaging your ears. By standing up, relaxed, feet shoulder-width apart and grounded, hand on your heart, you’re involving your body. You’re creating a muscle memory of your THOUGHT. And by doing all three, you are powerfully taking what is inside and putting it outside, creating a balance. The combined ACTIONS of writing and speaking those words connect what you THINK, FEEL and BELIEVE with how you ACT. That’s when real change is created. And the best part is that when you’ve completed this exercise once, you can do it again and again and again.47 I can tell you that if you take on the commitment of doing this exercise every day, not just repeating your PEP phrase once but 32 times a day, for the two weeks that you’re doing the system in this book, you will create amazing results for yourself. I can’t tell you exactly what you will experience—of course, it’s different for everyone—, but I This is Coaching can say that you will be undergoing some serious reprogramming of your BELIEFS, which, as we now know, Most likely you’re also struggling to succinctly describe what coaching is. will bring forth new ACTIONS that will take you in the ATEBAR is all you need. direction of new RESULTS. And so you will have Coaching shifts your AWARENESS, to undergone change and started down your path and process to create new THOUGHTS, to build new creating your success.48 BELIEFS, which point to new ACTIONS that encourage new and desired RESULTS. That’s what we all want anyway, right? Not just you Pretty clear and simple, huh? and me, but our clients (yours to come) and heck, just about everyone. We all have desires and dreams deep inside us. If only we could find a way to make them reality instead of just flights of fancy and unfulfilled dreams swirling around in our own heads in an endless dance. Welcome to the wonderful world of coaching. That’s what we do, right? We help people take their dreams and desires, that most likely haven’t been realized, and work with them to make them real. In other words, we ATEBAR Coaching use the five-step process of ATEBAR and take the inside Most often our clients come to us expecting to dreams and put them outside into the real world. Because jump into the ACTION part so that they can get their desired RESULTS. that’s exactly what we do in coaching. However, as we know, that’s starting on step 4 It doesn’t matter what your training is, or your coaching of the six-step process. In coaching, we’re familiar with those previous steps that are so experience. This is what we do. Think about it. When we critical to creating powerful change. explore Values and Visions with our clients, we’re We get to back up our clients and help them expanding their AWARENESS. When we present discover all that vital information in the earlier alternative perspectives, we’re deepening their steps A, T, E and B to give them a more solid AWARENESS. When we ask them pointed questions and foundation. That’s a major way that coaching is so different from most other approaches. And, as you now see, when done properly, effortswhy as and a waste. how the When coaching we let goprocess of the works.RESULTS, and we focus and commit fully to our AWARENESS and new THOUGHTS, EMOTIONS, BELIEFS and ACTIONS, then we can begin to recognize and receive all the unnoticed RESULTS that are truly coming our way. Just something to keep in mind the next time something doesn’t work out the way you hoped and planned. 47 Remember that old WWII propaganda song performed by Barry Wood and The Wood-Nymphs? “We did it before and we can do it again. And we will do it again. And even though it may take a year or two or five or ten, we did it before, we'll do it all over again!” No? Just me, huh? Oh well. It’s a catchy tune. 48 Just imagine. If you can do this with your PEP and shift your THOUGHTS and EMOTIONS, BELIEFS, ACTIONS and RESULTS that way, what do you think is possible if you apply this elsewhere? This is just a system. You get to incorporate your own content any time you want, as often as you desire.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 90 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org have them examine their lives on a completely different level in a conversation that they don’t experience anywhere else, then we’re opening up their AWARENESS. All of our assessments and forms and inquiries and approaches all point to expanding their AWARENESS of themselves and their experience in their lives. Practically everything we do in coaching impacts our clients’ AWARENESS. That’s where it all begins. And this step-by-step walk-through of the ATEBAR process explains exactly how it works. Not because I say so, or because your school or your coach or this or that expert says so. It’s because there are powerful forces and laws of nature and science at play here that, try as hard as you might to ignore them, can’t be altered or changed or denied. These are the laws that command how the energy of life—ALL life—must flow.

YOU MUST OBEY THE LAW “What do you mean? Are you telling me the coaching police are going to come and take me away? You’ll never take me alive, Copper. You got nuthin on me!” Not that kind of law. I’m talking about the wise and wonderful contributions of Newton. “What? You mean the guy who sang ‘Danke Schoen’?” No, that’s Wayne Newton. True, he’s been a wonderful contribution to our pop culture with a career spanning nearly 50 years. But I’m talking about a different Newton, who made some amazing discoveries when sitting down under a tree. “Oh, Down Under. Then you must be talking about that woman from ‘Grease’?” What? No, that’s Olivia Newton-John. And, true, being from Australia, you could consider her from “Down-Under”, but clearly we’re talking about a different kind of Down-Under. Besides, this one has to do with fruit. “Oh, then you must mean the fig guy?” No, again. I mean the apple guy. But at least you’re getting closer. “Apple? As in apple juice? I get where you’re going with this. You, too, are a fan of the lovely Juice Newton.”49 Yes, I’ll grant you she had some wonderful songs. But I’m afraid you’re… Wait a minute. Are you messing with me again? “Yeah, I knew all along you were talking about the renowned physicist, mathematician, astronomer, natural philosopher, alchemist and theologian, Sir Isaac Newton and his three laws of physics that he established when, as legend has it, he was sitting under an apple tree and got conked in the head by a falling apple. It was then his thoughts were sparking about the physics of gravity and motion. (Talk about inspiration coming out of thin air.) So go ahead and tell me about these three laws and how they appear in my coaching. Thanks. I’ll do just that.

49 Pop and Country singer in the early 1980s with hits like “Queen of Hearts” and “Angel of the Morning”.

Newton’s First Law of Motion - The LAW OF INERTIA: An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force. An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force. What does that mean in coaching terms? Simple. If you’re sitting on your butt and doing nothing to move yourself forward, chances are that you’re going to stay on your butt and not move at all unless you come into contact with a force (like coaching) which gives you energy and motion. That’s why starting off on your goals and projects is usually so hard, especially when you’re alone, because you’re working against that stagnant “at rest” mode (remember the train metaphor I mentioned earlier on?). Likewise, if you’re in action and moving, even if it’s just small tasks and energy, you’re still moving. And therefore you’ll keep following that momentum and continue to keep moving more and more. That is, unless you meet with an opposing (or unbalanced) force or resistance. Like, let’s say, your Saboteur. In fact, you could consider this book an unbalanced force that will help shift your energy and movement. It’s definitely designed to give you new information (AWARENESS) and therefore new ACTIONS to take that will help move you in a different direction, or get you moving in the first place. “Yeah, I’d say it’s pretty unbalanced.” You know that’s not what I meant. This Law can also apply to the fact that when our THOUGHTS are in our heads, they’ll remain in our heads. But when we shift to getting them out into the world and we begin to take ACTION, then we’ll continue heading down that path, thus encouraging more of the same. Newton’s Second Law of Motion – F = MA (FORCE = MASS times ACCELERATION): Acceleration happens when a force acts on a mass. The greater the mass (of the object being accelerated), the greater the amount of force needed (to accelerate the object). What does that mean in the coaching world? Easy. When you want something to move, the bigger the object is, the more energy is required. Like when you’ve got a really debilitating habit or limiting belief, you’re going to need a whole lot more energy to get yourself moving in a new direction. This is why many books and do-it-yourself programs don’t really work too well on their own. In this context, this would translate to a small amount of energy (book) against a big object (your habits). Since the amount of energy already being utilized by our habits to stay on our old path is greater, these materials by themselves may not be enough to move us forward. In fact, it usually takes much less energy r than what our habits are using to stay on our old path. But with coaching, first we get to add more force (your coach) and then we create structures and support (like your PEP) to help things move along. I acknowledge that this book, as great as it is, might not generate enough energy to really get you moving. That’s why I keep reminding you of that complementary follow-up call that I keep offering. This way, I can add to the energy you’ll need to change. Newton’s Third Law of Motion: FOR EVERY ACTION THERE IS AN EQUAL AND OPPOSITE RE-ACTION. In the coaching world, this could be referring to that pesky Saboteur that keeps butting in. You can bet that for every action that has you move forward, there is an equal and opposite reaction that is trying to pull you the other way. And we know what happens when two equal forces pull in opposite directions. It’s like that old tug-of-war game when the teams are even. No one goes anywhere and you spend all day stuck in the same spot. However, by adding the power of coaching, you’ve just added a “ringer” to your team to help pull your flag over the line.

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Coaching is like that “ringer.” It’s that extra something that helps shift the focus and energy so that you can move in a different direction. It’s also the Law that keeps us in balance. Don’t worry, you don’t have to experience this while on an actual tightrope. However, you might find a low beam or fence or anything that is smaller than your body width to walk on so that you have to use your whole body to maintain your balance. Notice how when you begin to tip one way, your body wants to shift the other way. This is balance at work. Your arms toss to the other side and your leg sticks out and your hips go all kaflooky. And if you’re not careful, you’ll expend too much energy to compensate, thus throwing your balance in the other direction. What’s needed is the ability to make just enough adjustment to keep yourself stable as you continue to move forward.50 This way, you’re able to keep on your path, handling whatever obstacles come your way, while catching the actions and making the necessary opposite reactions to maintain your balance. This is why aerialists use a long pole or an umbrella when they’re up there. It’s something additional to help counter sudden lurches in the wrong direction and restore your balance. Kind of like coaching. Cool huh? This also is why, in coaching, we don’t necessarily throw our clients into the “deep end”, but rather, little by little, help them to make adjustments. We don’t want to throw off their balance. Just enough to keep them moving, but not too much that they’re falling off. But wait, there’s more. This Law of Action and Reaction can also help you fly high. Literally. It’s the principle that makes flight possible. As the power of the jet engines pushes the plane forward, there is an equal and opposite force of air from underneath the wings that’s lifting the plane upward. In coaching terms, this is like when you’re moving and grooving on your ACTIONS of marketing yourself and building your business and then suddenly you get that call out of nowhere from someone who heard about you and was interested in coaching. (It does happen.) So you see? You have physics helping you out in this work and in your coaching. And you can’t argue with physics. In fact, while we’re using various laws of physics to explain and support the work in this book, as well as the work that we do as coaches, we may as well bring up some other magnificent laws that come into play. I’m talking about the universal laws and principles that are fundamental, critical elements of our world. They never fail, or alter. They are forever the constants in our Universe. Actually, we’ve already visited a few in the previous pages, but this seems like the logical place to lay them all out so you know what you’re really working with (and sometimes trying to work against and why that doesn’t work). I’m sure you’ve heard many of these before. They seem to be quite popular these days, what with all the self-help, personal growth and excellence programs. But don’t let the trendiness of their profound popularity fool you. While our awareness of these Laws may be relatively new, they’ve always been there. So we’re only going to take a look at them, we’re going to pause a moment to consider the powerful part they play in coaching. The LAW OF BELIEF:

50 The other lesson in this example is that old phrase “Don’t look down.” And it’s true. If you look down, you’ll lose your perspective and balance. Whereas if you keep your focus forward—where you want to go—you’ll not only be moving in that direction, but you’ll also be better able to notice when your “body” is shifting and how to properly adjust yourself. Don’t believe me? The next time the circus comes into town, check it out yourself.

Whatever we BELIEVE with feeling and conviction becomes our reality. In fact, our BELIEFS— about ourselves, our relationships, about what’s possible and what’s not—are part of how we define our reality. It is not until we change our beliefs that we can begin to change our reality and our performance. This principle has been touted by some of our most brilliant and successful minds—from Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” to the modern-day versions of “The Secret” and “The Aladdin Principle” and all the other variations that exist. And it’s also what we’ve just spent the last several pages exploring. Notice, it’s not just what you THINK about, it’s what you BELIEVE that matters. You can think all you want about Finding Your First Five Clients, but deep down if it’s just surface thinking, and there’s a deeper BELIEF that you don’t deserve those clients, or you’re just starting out and who would be interested, or you don’t know how, or anything else that’s contrary, guess what’s going to be stronger and win out? Think of it as a mathematical equation. T x E = B. Whatever your THOUGHT is, multiply that times whatever EMOTION is connected to it and that is your BELIEF. How many times have we seen it in the movies? A great example is Dumbo and his magic feather. He THOUGHT that the feather made him fly. Not only that, but he truly BELIEVED with every fiber of his sweet elephant heart that this was true. And so that was his reality, and he flew.51 And then at the end, when he lost the feather, his old doubts and fears and old “reality” wanted to take him back to his prior ways of THINKING and old BELIEFS. But his pal Timothy (Ever notice in Disney, it’s always the mouse that’s the sensible one?) kept reminding him of his “THOUGHTS”—his realization—that he could fly. He started tugging on Dumbo’s emotions, adding them to the THOUGHTS until… well, I don’t want to give it away. But I bet you can guess what happened. At least from a coaching perspective. That’s right, he developed a new and empowering BELIEF that had him flying higher than ever before. Um, metaphorically speaking. I wouldn’t suggest that an elephant could actually fly.52 But you can. Trust me. I’ve seen it done, many times, by people just like you—with and without that feather. This is why we’re spending so much time on this subject in this book. Sure, I could simply have tossed out the 2-week system and step-by-step ACTIONS that you need to do, but if I did that all by itself, it would be asking someone to fly who may still be earthbound by old—and very limiting— BELIEFS. This way, we’re slowly opening up your AWARENESS to get you THINKING differently, which will begin working to shift your BELIEFS about your coaching, your marketing and who you are, and can be, as a coach. And the more you truly BELIEVE yourself to be capable of acting in this new PEP way, the more—new scientific research confirms—your neuron pathways will begin to shift to accommodate and support that new thought, creating a new habit of thinking, right? (I’m sure you’ve heard this enough by now, so help me out here and let’s complete the ATEBAR formula.) “Yes, I know it now. The more I deepen my ______The more my ______change Which creates new ______Which opens up new ______Which ultimately encourages new and desired ______!”

51 Actually, most of Disney’s classic animated films focus on the power of BELIEVING. Go ahead, rent one. 52 I've seen a horsefly. I've seen a dragonfly. I've seen a housefly. I've seen a peanut stand and heard a rubber band. I seen a needle that winked its eye. But I be done seen about ever'thing, when I see a elephant fly. (from Walt Disney’s “Dumbo”)

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Wonderful. Now say it again, this time out loud, reading in front of a mirror. Go ahead, do it. This should be easy compared to what you did before. And by now, anything you say along these lines will simply build on the momentum and growth that you’ve been creating. There. Spoken like the true, empowered, amazing and world- impacting coach you are. Five Client Check-in: Just checking in. We’ve been But the Law of Belief is just the beginning. Actually, it covering a whole lot of information combines with and works alongside several other laws to create an here, and you may be wondering if even more powerful force. Let’s look at another. it’s all necessary to Finding your First Five Clients. The LAW OF CORRESPONDENCE: Well, not really. You can go out and find them without knowing this stuff. The dictionary definition of correspondence is “the agreement But I can tell you, it’s sure helpful. of things with one another.” This means that our outer world is By knowing this, you can present nothing more than a reflection of (or an agreement with) of our yourself more confidently. You can inner world: as within, so without. We already talked about this, show up more fully. You can BE more sure of yourself as a coach. too. This is why the act of writing things down is so important. And that’s going to speak volumes. It’s also why involving other people in our goals and development In other words, you’ll have more is so beneficial. It’s not just accountability; it’s about creating an alignment and correspondence agreement or correspondence. between your potential clients and your powerful coaching self I’m sure there was a time when you imagined yourself to BE So stay with this. Don’t lose your something that others didn’t see. Perhaps it was that you were steam. You’ll thank yourself later. competent or even excellent at your job, or maybe it was that you believed that you were really good looking or smart or talented or that you showed up in crowds a certain way. And then you found out later on that the outside world didn’t share that viewpoint.53 Conflict arose. Frustration appeared. Things probably didn’t go so well and you felt at odds. It’s because there wasn’t an agreement in the matter. But then by creating an alignment between the outside and inside, we remove the conflict and the friction that’s getting in the way. This is why I suggested that you ask your friends about your strengths, so that you’ll have a better idea of how the outside world sees you. This is also why, once you Find Your First Five Clients, you’ll want to get some sort of feedback and perhaps even a testimonial about your work with them. You’ll be able to better align, and create a correspondence or balance between how the outside world sees you and how you see yourself. This works the other way around, too. How you see yourself will invariably “train” everyone else how to see you. So if you think you’re a loser, eventually you’re going to start being treated like one. Without your even having to do anything. How convenient. Ah ha. But what if you truly believe yourself to be your PEP? (See? We keep going back to that.) I don’t mean just empty and hollow thoughts, as thought you were trying to convince yourself, I’m talking about a deep-down believing, a self-image that can’t be shaken. If you truly believed yourself to be those words, then you would not only shift through the whole ATEBAR formula, but the outside world would begin naturally to align itself with those BELIEFS. So you can see, this stuff is powerful.

53 Just to be clear, this doesn’t mean that you’re wrong to think these things. Chances are that you really are skilled, smart, talented and attractive, it’s just that you may not be showing or sharing those qualities authentically and powerfully, or that there are some outside filters that may be affecting other people’s perceptions. Just because the outside world says something, doesn’t make it true either.

By the way, I’ll also take this moment to point out another Law of Science and Physics: the phenomenon of homeostasis. Take a bent tube and put some water in it. Notice how the water balances out so that it’s equal in height on both sides. It’s not high on one side and low on the other, the distribution is equal. Now, when you pour more water into the tube, let’s say another inch worth, the left side doesn’t rise a whole inch. Nosireebob. The water balances out and both sides rise only a half inch. Likewise when you pour some water out. Both sides balance out. In coaching terms, whenever you take on a new THOUGHT, BELIEF or ACTION inside, and it’s at a different level than the THOUGHTS, BELIEFS or ACTIONS on the outside, there will be a natural balancing of the two. Similar to the “Action vs. Opposite Reaction” concept, except that this is more about leveling off. Let’s apply this to your coaching experience. Imagine that you’re in an environment where the people around you are used to your BEing a certain way, say perhaps, that you’re not a coach. It’s not necessarily bad, but it’s their set way of seeing you and it’s based on how it’s been before, which is in fact quite true. Up until recently, you were not a coach, right? You didn’t have this training or direction. As a result, following the Law of Correspondence, that outside BELIEF continues to reinforce the way you see yourself, and who can argue with that kind of proof? “Gosh, you’re right. I’m not a coach. I don’t have the skills necessary to be powerful and confident and to have a coaching practice and help other people with their lives.”54 Let’s look at the “I am a Super-Coach” BELIEF scale55 and suggest that, at this pre-coaching point in time, you might rank yourself a very low 1. (Perhaps while you have some natural talents, you’re not properly harnessing or developing , or something like that. But however low a number you assign yourself, you probably wouldn’t be reading this book and doing this work in the first place if you didn’t feel you possess some level of skill.) So, following the Law of Correspondence, you see yourself as a 1 and everyone around you sees you as a 1. There is alignment and agreement that you are a 1. So you add some new energy and expand your AWARENESS by taking some coach training— maybe a weekend workshop or course—or you have an awesome coaching session with an experienced coach. And you leave all excited and pumped and ready to take on the world. You’re “Super-Coach” BELIEF number has shot up to maybe a 7 or 8, or even higher. How wonderful and exciting. And then you go back home. And what happens? “Well, I remember I felt kind of excited for a while, like I could do anything, but then it seemed like that old feeling of inadequacy came roaring back and took over. And I didn’t feel like that Super Coach anymore.” That’s right. And if you just throw up your hands in despair and resign yourself to mediocrity—so much for all that good work you’ve done and positive learning you’ve experienced an d new level of

54 I didn’t format this with the Saboteur font simply because, at this point, it may not be a limiting way of thinking. However, Saboteurs love taking old and very strong ways of thinking and believing and using them against us when we’re in the process of moving forward. 55 Kind of looks like the “Coaching Confidence” scale earlier on in this book. Well, that’s because BELIEF and CONFIDENCE are certainly intertwined, aren’t thay?

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AWARENESS you’ve glimpsed—the old way of thinking about yourself would completely return and you’re back to square one. Right? Wrong. If you’ve really connected with this coaching thing (which I know you have, otherwise you wouldn’t have made it this far in this book, let alone purchased it), then that 7 has been added to the level 1 that was already in your tube. Now, I’m not suggesting that this is so simple a formula as add your previous 1 to the new 7 and you get a combined total of 8 and then divide that by 2 and you get a new “Super-Coach” Belief of 4. It’s not that simple. Remember the principle of homeostasis? That low 1 has clearly had something new added to it. So it must be higher now than it was before. It may not be an 8, and it’s also not the old 1 anymore either. In fact, it’s probably balanced out, if you look more closely, somewhere in between, to at least, say, perhaps, a 1.5. OK, not much, progress, perhaps, but a little. (Remember, you’re starting with small steps and building momentum. But you’re also beginning to move in a new direction.)

And if you don’t believe me, look what happens when you have What are you feeding? your next class or coach-growing experience—let’s say you take You’ve heard “That which you another course. You leave even more pumped than before. But even give attention to grows.” Well, if you find, in a few days, that you’re not at 8 or 9 like you thought this is it, in action. you were, your new “Super-Coach” is a little higher. Maybe it’s a 1.8 There’s the old Indian story of or even a 2. And that is cause for excitement. the two dogs who were going to fight. One was mean and the And on it goes. Every time you grow your coaching, your other was kind. “Super-Coach” BELIEF number grows. When asked which one would win, the Indian Chief replied, This is how slow and steady application, reinforcing and building “the one that I feed more.” upon itself, creates powerful change. It works with your coach Smart. No wonder he was Chief. training—just as it will work with your clients. Now the question is, what part of YOU do you choose to feed? So you can see how quietly powerful this Law is in our lives. What makes this even more exciting is how it ties in with the next Law. The LAW OF CAUSE AND EFFECT: Absolutely everything happens for a reason. Every single action has consequences and produces specific results—as does every inaction. The choices we make, whether conscious or unconscious, will produce corresponding outcomes or effects. This Law works the same for everyone at all times,56 regardless of whether or not you believe that it’s true. However, I can tell you that when you get “hip” to this law, you’ll be able to use it, instead of being used by it, and you’ll be more in control. (Remember ATEBAR? This is basically what that whole formula is about. ACTION = RESULT. And when you have AWARENESS of this fact, then you can be more “choiceful”—knowing this ACTION is likely to create that RESULT.) The same principle is used in the coaching world when you start moving in another direction. Think cause and effect. First consider the effect that you want to create, and then list the ACTIONS that are likely to create that effect. In other words, if you want to have a million dollars in your savings account (effect), then you’re going to have to start creating the action of saving (cause). And now you’ll see how this Law is very highly intertwined with something that we’ve already covered. The LAW OF ATTRACTION:

56 Some people don’t subscribe to this philosophy. However, this isn’t a philosophy. I’m not suggesting that there is some divine purpose or great plan. I’m simply talking about the Law of Action/Reaction that we discussed earlier. When I type the keys, the words pop up. When you read these words, your eyes move back and forth and new information and AWARENESS enters your brain. Cause and effect.

“Magnetism. Sheer magnetism.”57 You’ve heard the expression. In other words, “like attracts like.” We see this occur everywhere— from little magnet Scottie dogs to social events to dating to building a coaching practice. In fact, the next time you go to a party or a get- together, see how long it takes for people in conversation to naturally begin seeking a common ground. “Say, do you like Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn, too? Which is your favorite?” We talked about this whole Attract/Action stuff before, remember? Well, now that you see it in context with all these other Laws, I’m sure that it’s making even more sense. And I’m sure you can also see why focusing on something as positive and engaging as your PEP can help you Find Your First Five Clients even before you get to the ACTION steps later in this book. Beginning to see how this all works together? What about finding like-minded coaches to collaborate on projects or to help you deepen your own discoveries? Might this also be a great way to help you find your first or next coach or mentor? Like a magnificent beacon, the more you discover and reveal yourself, the more you feed and support how you truly BELIEVE yourself to be and how you want others to see you, you’ll also be training the outside world not only to share that BELIEF, but to self-select and become attracted to you. In turn, they’ll show up like a beacon in those qualities that you’ll spot in them, pulling you toward them, and on it goes, upward and outward. The LAW OF RELATIVITY: Everything in our world is defined by its relationship or comparison to something else. Light can’t exist without dark. Good can only be known when there is some experience of bad. There can only be hot when we have cold for comparison. And we can’t identify success unless we know failure. And vice-versa. Call it opposition or polarity, we need to have two or more sides of something in order to really give it meaning. Think about it. If you spent your entire life eating only one kind of burger and that’s all you ever ate, then you wouldn’t have enough experience to know if you really liked it or not. It would just be the thing that you ate. Ah, but once you have one of Bennie’s “Chai-burgers,” then you have something to create perspective. You’ll either like it or not. And what about the element of time? Look back into your past, let’s say, five years ago. What was it that you were struggling with then? What was it that you were attempting or facing that, at the time, that seemed challenging and scary to you? I’ll bet at that time you were overwhelmed and freaking out and couldn’t imagine how you could possibly get beyond such a dilemma. And here you are, five years later. Chances are that the YOU of today relates to that past event quite differently than you did five years ago. Maybe it still is a big Heard this one? “The Grass is Always Greener.” 57 Actually,“Object thisin mirror is a quote is larger from mythan favorite it appears.” movie of all time “Singin’ in the Rain.” However, Don Lockwood (played by Gene Kelly) uses“Beauty it in a little is in different the eye context of the thanbeholder.” the point I’m trying to make. Just go with it. “I’ll have what she’s having.” I’m sure now youFor can more find coaching a more insightinspiring and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org phrase to follow.

Page 98 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org deal or challenging or scary, but with the gift of time and experience, you most likely know more than you did then and maybe you feel differently about it now. And what about five years from now? What will the coach part of you then be saying about the obstacles you’re facing now? Chances are you’ll be dealing with a whole new level of stuff that you can’t even consider now and looking back on this and thinking this was nothing. I don’t mean to minimize the feelings of fear, discomfort or insecurity that you may be experiencing about starting off in this coaching journey. By all means, your concerns right now are very valid. I’m just pointing out that, in time, you’ll invariably look back and feel very differently about this situation. In other words, this too shall pass. And while we’re at it, let’s take this moment to put all this in an even larger perspective. Sure, it’s easy to look at all the other coaches that are experiencing amazing success, have no shortage of clients, and are having an impact on the world. It all seems so easy for them. And every time you do that, I’m sure your Saboteur is given plenty of fuel for its distracting and minimizing little conflagrations. However, if you’re going to compare, don’t forget that there’s an equally valid truth: There’s always somebody else is worse off and what they’re struggling with makes your current troubles seem like a cakewalk. I mean, let’s be honest. The fate of the free world doesn’t rest on your shoulders. Look at some individuals in history who faced some really monumental challenges. Think for a moment about those legendary explorers like Christopher Columbus, Sir Walter Raleigh and Lewis and Clark? They committed not only themselves, but many others to a journey of vast uncertainty, crossing uncharted lands and oceans, valleys and mountains, not knowing what lay ahead. It was challenging, scary and a test not just of commitment, but of endurance, and the willingness to face fear and plunge fully into the unknown. The same could be said for Yuri Gagarin, the first man to be launched into space. And what do you suppose was going through the minds of Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong as they stepped gingerly out onto the moon? And what made all of these daring forays into the unknown even more daunting is that it wasn’t just these adventurers’ own assumptions and fears whispering in their ears, “You know, you really aren’t going to be able to pull this off.” It was the entire history of the world preceding them that breathed this warning. What they were attempting had never been done before!!! Ever. What you are attempting to do, on the other hand, has been done before, many times. Of course, not by you (yet), but by someone. Many someones. Across the years and spanning the globe, millions of people, in may professions, have climbed the mountain of Finding Their First Five Clients, and they’ve done it again and again. And therefore, while you may not have evidence that you can do it (again, yet), there is insurmountable proof that it can be done. And if others can do it, so can you. (Remember, all those incredibly successful coaches started off just like you are now.) Back to putting this all in perspective. It is true that your passion for coaching could profoundly and powerfully impact the world over time. However, most likely at this point in the game as you’re just starting out, your struggles will be minor compared to the daunting obstacles faced by the likes of Martin Luther King, Jr., Mahatma Gandhi or Susan B. Anthony. Talk about bucking against the tide, they had thousands, perhaps millions of people screaming hateful opposition to their cause. You and I might experience the anxiety of “What if they say no?”, but for these people it was a powerful and scary mass of “no” that continued to beat them down. And yet, they persevered.

Think of inventers like Leonardo da Vinci, Galileo, Edison, Marconi or Benjamin Franklin. Their ideas revolutionized the world. Their contributions forever changed the way our society functions and laid the path for other innovations, like Enrico Fermi discovering controlled nuclear fission, or computer whizzes like Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, Bill Gates and Mark Zukerberg transforming the way we communicate and interact in the digital age. And who will be the one to create the next incredible invention that will propel our world into new realms? What will eventually replace the Internet or cell phones or computers? Who will discover anti-gravity, warp speed and teleportation? No pressure there, right? Nor are you one of our brave politicians and world leaders who are striving for peace and an end to world hunger, or those scientists who are currently working around the clock to save millions of lives with a cure for cancer or AIDS. Nor are you and I building an incredible and inspirational burger franchise, like Bennie, which is REALLY HUGE and just might top all of these. (Only time will tell.) What we are attempting here is modest compared to any of that. Please understand, none of this is intended to sell short your importance in the world or your potential. On the contrary, each and every one of these men and women were once ordinary people just like you and me, who went on to accomplish =extraordinary things. They all started out small and simple. Columbus had to first learn how to row a boat. Bill Gates needed to learn how to type. Benjamin Franklin had to get the hang of getting a kite off the ground.58 What made them extraordinary was not how they started, but what they managed to achieve by doggedly persevering on their chosen paths. And if you look at their stories, they all began, just as you are doing, by first discovering their passions, their values, their strengths, their natural gifts—in other words, their PEP. And at some point along the way, their AWARENESS was opened up by some outside force and they followed it. Of course they met with opposition, resistance, doubt, fear and failure. I challenge you to pick up any account of success and find a story that isn’t fraught with challenge. But these incredible individuals were able to hold fast to what they BELIEVED. Each and every one of them either consciously, or more likely unconsciously, used the very same laws we have been discussing to their advantage. They consistently, and persistently, kept revisiting who they were, their THOUGHTS and BELIEFS, and kept refining and redesigning their ACTIONS, backing up and opening up new AWARENESS and expansive THOUGHTS, again and again, facing their fears, embracing the opposition, until they finally got the results they wanted, and, in many cases, even more than expected. And if they can do what they did, you can most certainly and most easily accomplish your far more modest goals. And more. Who knows what’s possible? What I do know is that you haven’t yet reached your true potential. I know this because you’re still in the process of discovering and creating it. I also know that the more you step fully into that purpose and potential, the more you create something new, either on a small or a grand scale, you will be met with fresh fears, anxieties and doubts. So before you take on any action that you suspect may trigger discomfort or fear, think of these and other amazing men and women and give yourself a few moments to remember WHO YOU REALLY ARE!!! That’s in part what your PEP is all about, a clear indication and declaration of your bright and shining value, strengths, gifts and purpose in life.

58 No easy feat, I can tell you from experience. In my youth, my father and I lost many a kites and socks to evil tress and telephone wires.

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Take a look at your phrase for a moment. You should know it pretty well by now. Picture a person in your mind who fits that description perfectly. Take a good look at that person and ask yourself: How would he or she act? How would they take on this activity of repeating these phrases over and over? How would they take on each of the challenges in this book? Then remind yourself that YOU ARE THAT PERSON!!! So whenever you’re about to do something that makes you feel all ooky inside and that cranky voice starts telling you, “What’s the point of doing all that? Nothing is going to come from it anyway. Nobody will reply and no one cares,” give yourself the gift of a few moments to stand up, place your hand on your heart and repeat your PEP out loud to yourself. One final word on the matter. As I’ve mentioned before, this is just the beginning of a long, exciting, challenging, scary, frustrating, engaging, life-changing, wonderful and magically rewarding journey. For many, coaching is not just a job, it’s an adventure.59 And we are considered to be some of the modern-day philosophers and “inspirators” for the future. Finding your First Five Clients is the first step.60 So get all this stuff locked in now. Really learn and take to heart all these lessons and start to use the tools—your PEP, ATEBAR, this simple client-attraction system and more—that are in this book so that you can more easily and powerfully transition to each of the next levels that will take you even higher and further. Who knows? Maybe one day, years from now, someone will be reading about you in a book or online or in some other format and be inspired by your story of how you started off in coaching and how it all began when you were Finding Your First Five Clients! Clearly you’re up to some amazing and wonderful things. There will be success and achievement and impact and change that you may not even be able to comprehend at this moment, and is just waiting for you to discover when the time is right. This is the beginning. As I said before, if you haven’t already discovered this, you’ll soon learn that being in Stage One— Getting to know your product—is the easiest part of this journey. But in so doing, you’ll be creating the groundwork for exciting entrepreneurship, magnificent marketing, successful sales, beautiful business- building and commanding coaching confidence. And, as any architect knows, once you create a solid foundation, you can build a structure upon it as tall and amazing as you want. The sky’s not even the limit. It’s beyond the sky. So before we move on and get to building even more, let’s review some very important things that we’ve learned up to this point that will be important to remember as you’re starting off on this path to creating coaching success and Finding Your First Five Clients!  You’ve identified your current coaching confidence, passion and purpose.  You’ve exposed some limiting and sabotaging thoughts and feelings that might be getting in your way.  You’ve explored the basics of marketing and sales and how they are different and similar, and even more importantly, how they apply to you and your coaching.  You’ve learned about common traps to prepare for and how to avoid them altogether.

59 With all due respect to the armed forces. 60 Don’t forget the old phrase, “A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

 You’ve now got answers to some of the most popular “new coach” questions.  You’ve clearly discovered and defined just who you are as a coach and what you offer, in other words, your PEP.  You are aware of the powerful laws of authenticity and how attractive and compelling they are.  You realize now that marketing is nothing more than expanded self-acknowledgment. So the more you share how you see yourself, the more others will notice.  You now know how to truly “begin at the beginning.” Following the formula AWARENESS = THOUGHT = BELIEFS = ACTION = RESULTS, you can either try to change the ACTIONS for new RESULTS, or go back to the beginning, shift and open your AWARENESS and all the other stuff that comes along with it. And you’ve already started shifting and opening your own AWARENESS of yourself and your coaching and have done some deep reprogramming.  You’ve committed to powerfully acknowledging yourself and to consistently and persistently putting yourself out there.  You now see that several fundamental laws of science and physics are backing you up and supporting you along the way.61  And you have put all of this into perspective, making the work you have to accomplish less intimidating, and more possible. “Wowwie-Zowwie! When you put it that way, we’ve covered an incredible amount of stuff so far." Yeah. And amazingly, we’re only about 5/7th of the way through. Lucky you, there’s still 2/7th more to discover and incorporate into your coaching growth. So now here we are, after all this work, preparation, discovery, clarifying and building, ready to take everything that you’ve learned so far and finally start moving into action. Five Client Check-in: GETTING INTO ACTION Congratulations! I want to acknowledge you for getting What? Are you kidding me? Begin getting into action? this far. It’s been quite a journey, but look at how much you’ve learned and You mean we haven’t even started yet? explored and uncovered along the way. On the contrary, we’re almost finished. And we’ve come Now you have a solid foundation for yourself and your coaching you should quite a long way. What we’ve been actually doing is handling be quite proud of, helping you to now all the foundational work. By taking some time at the beginning stand more powerfully and confidently of any project to get your planning and structure in line, you as a coach, which is going to help actually end up making the rest of the work flow much easier.62 volumes—not just with Finding your But before you take action, let’s check back and revisit the First Five Clients, but all the clients to follow (as you will soon see). different Stages of Marketing, to remind you of which stage you Don’t stop now, as you can see from the are in. It’s important to know this, because, as we discovered next header, this is when you start really getting into action and seeing how this system will really work for you. 61 And you can’t argue with science. That’s the one thing that is so fantastic about science. It’s fact, not fiction. It’s supported, not speculated. It’s locked in and undeniable and unavoidable. It simply IS. So you can either struggle against it, rather unsuccessfully, or you can go with it and use it to your advantage. Which one would you prefer? Struggle or ease? 62 There’s actually a formula called the 90/10 rule, meaning that 90% of the work is done at the beginning. Or maybe it means that the first 10% of your work saves you 90% of the work. It depends on who says it (And the numbers can change, too. Basically speaking it means, the more you plan your work, the better your chances of success. Another popular phrase is, “If you fail to plan, then you plan to fail.”

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 102 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org earlier, different stages require different approaches and different starting points. And you may as well get used to this question, because this is the continual question that every coach has to face, again and again, in order to keep moving forward: “What Stage am I in?” Again, as I mentioned before, it’s assumed that since you’re reading this book, you are in Stage One. That’s neither good nor bad, it’s just important to know where you are. I mean, think about it. If you wanted to know how to get to Disneyland, the directions I gave you would be completely different if you are in Maine or in Hawaii—you’d have different starting points—or if you’re flying, driving or walking—then you’d have a whole different approach and method on how to get there. So, in order to be able to GO anywhere, you have to know where you currently are. As a quick reminder, here are the three stages. 1) Beginner’s stage—refining and developing your product. 2) Building business—charging money for services and establishing yourself as a product. 3) Established as a Brand—on your way to success. And as we discussed earlier, you are currently in Stage One. And remember, believe it or not, right now you are in one of the better positions for getting clients. “What? Are you crazy? I went through all this just to be told that I’m already in the best position to get clients? I seriously doubt that. You know how I know this? It’s cause I DON’T HAVE ANY CLIENTS!!! That’s why I’m reading this book!” Well it’s a good thing that you are reading this book, otherwise you’d be spending too much time believing that you are in a horrible position to get clients.63 On the contrary, this is a great place to be. And if you haven’t already discovered it, I’ll tell you why. It’s because what you are really doing at this stage is developing your product (through your coach training and Certification) and thus are in need of an R&D (Research and Development) team to help refine and strengthen what it is that you’re developing here. That's the key word. HELP. People love to help. And HELP (are you ready?) stands for… H = Help E – Everyone L – Loves (as in, “loves to…”) P – Hm. I don’t know. Purple? Panda? Potent Potables? Well, maybe this acronym isn’t quite so brilliant. Heck, maybe it should stand for Product—to remind you of what you should really be focusing on in this stage. But the important thing to remember is the first three letters: Everyone, Loves to, Help. Actually, now that I look at it, I see that it spells ELH, which means—nothing. Ok, so forget the clever way I came up with to help you remember, just remember that People love to… PEOPLE, that’s it! Everyone Loves to Help People, or ELHP. Remember it. Learn it. Live it. Man, that’s brilliant.64 Now, let’s see. Where were we? Ah, yes.

63 Never forget just how powerful and debilitating those negative beliefs are. And just how sneaky your Saboteur is at slipping them in. 64 Well, what did you want? If you want to be particular, we could say, “Helps Everyone Loves to People”. But that really doesn’t make any sense at all. Better to just go with it the other way.

I know that just a few pages ago, I said that clients come to you to be seen, heard, and valued. That the coaching needs to be all about them and that, instead of being a dollar sign or a number, they are being held and valued as human beings. “Yeah, I remember that. So how can I do that while at the same time be asking for help? Isn’t asking for help all about me and my needs? Doesn’t that completely contradict what you’ve been telling me about why people buy things?” Well, that would be true if in fact these were actually opposing forces. “What?” Stay with me. I know these two things may feel contradictory (“all about them” and “asking for help“), but in actuality they are complimentary. The problem arises when one replaces the other, which would happen if they were opposing concepts. But what if these two forces were actually able to work together? Then, instead of an “either/or” perspective, it would be a “yes/and” way of being. “Great concept. But how do you see this working like that?” I’ll tell you. The one thing in this world that we can rely on is that people love to help. Oh, do they love to help. Look at yourself as an example. Why are you involved in coaching? That’s right, to help people. Sure, there are plenty of other powerful reasons and forces at work (your values, your purpose and all that, as we established earlier) but there’s also the drive to help others. It’s actually one of the commonalities of our world, something that we all share. Everyone loves to help other people. Now this isn’t to say that all you have to do is go up to the first person you see and say, “Hey, would you like to help me be a better coach?” They may or may not respond the way you want them to. So alone, it doesn’t work. But it is a powerful force that you can utilize, together with your other tools, to your advantage. “But what’s the difference between asking them to help me out so I have enough clients, and asking them to help me be a better coach.” Good question. And I can see how those two phrases might seem to be the same request. However, there are actually several major differences between the two: The first option sees them as a number. The second involves them as a person. The first sees them as part of the problem. The second, as part of the solution. The first comes from lacking and scarcity, thereby adding stress to the anxiousness you already feel about your new career. The second is about abundance and, for that reason, actually creates energy. The first springs from fear and is trying to avoid something. The second comes from your values and is pulling you (and your client) toward something. The first is asking them to help you DO something. The second is asking them to help you BE something. “Yeah, I guess those really are two pretty different things, when you say it that way.” Good. You get it. What’s important now is that YOU begin to see it that way. The other thing that you have in your favor is that you are already trained. Regardless of the amount of training you’ve already had, and how much your Saboteur wants to convince you that you don’t nearly have enough and how much more you need to have before you can be a real coach, believe it or not, you are already a good coach. I know it may not feel like it sometimes. But, think: You have been trained by a powerful

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 104 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org coach training program, and the skills and tools you possess are amazing. All that's missing now is the experience that will help you hone your ability and confidence. This is where your clients come in. They are not helping you learn how to coach—you’ve got other resources for that. They're helping you to become an “even better coach.” Your clients don't want the responsibility of teaching you, but everybody likes having someone good get gooder because of them.

HERE’S WHAT YOU DO “Finally. It’s about time. I thought we’d never get here. Why didn’t you just get to this in the first place?” Actually, I did right in the first few pages, if you recall. However, you chose to continue on with all this material in between. And as a result, I’m assuming that you now have a much more solid foundation to work with. This way, in the future, when things are not working, you’ll have a much clearer idea of where you are in the process, where the breakdown occurred, and how to address it so that you can pick yourself up, recover, and continue moving forward. “Speaking of which, weren’t we just getting ready to do that?” You’re right. So let’s get you moving right now. Here’s what you do. Now that you’ve got your Coaching Grid established and your Empowering Phrase written out, it’s time to send a letter to EVERYONE YOU KNOW—and even people you don't know. Every email and address that can get your hands on. I know it feels weird. I know you're not able to feel confident about it. I know that you're out of practice. And I know that cranky voice is just waiting to pounce on you and tell you how this book and this activity is just a big waste of time. Do what you need to do to manage that voice (perhaps it would be easier to just toss it out the window this time… into traffic.) Go ahead. I’ll wait. (♪♫ “Tall and tanned and young and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking. And when she passes, each man she passes goes Aaah! When she moves it's like a samba that swings so cool and sways so gently that when she passes each man she passes goes Aaah! (Ooh) But I watch her so sadly. How can I tell her I love her? Yes I would give my heart gladly. But each day, when she walks to the sea, she looks straight ahead, not at me. Tall, and tan, and young, and lovely, the girl from Ipanema goes walking, and when she passes, I smile - but she doesn't see. She just doesn't see, she never sees me... ♫♪”)65 All right, now that he’s gone again and it’s just you and me again, let’s go back to the action I gave you to Find Your First Five Clients! After all that’s what this is all about, right? So just do it. Send an email to everyone you have an email address for. “Everyone? Even people I don’t know? I’m a little uncomfortable with sending this out to total strangers.” Good point. However, I remind you that if you’re going to be marketing yourself (and to succeed, you’re going to have to do just that), this is exactly what you’re needing to do—spread the word about

65 “The Girl From Ipanema,” a classic bossa nova song from the mid-1960s. Popularly used as elevator music or “on hold” music while one is waiting.

FLYERS AND POSTERS AND SPAM, OH MY. Consider Bennie. In the beginning when he was just starting out, he told all his friends and family about his grand opening. But, in truth, that was only going to provide him with a limited amount of customers, perhaps a great opening day crowd, but no way was that going to sustain his business after that. Nosireebob. Bennie realized that he would need to spread the word. He put up posters, made phone calls to everyone in the neighborhood, and put flyers on every windshield he could find. His budget was low at the time—remember he wasn’t making any money yet—but he managed to find creative and affordable ways to spread the word. Sure, many of those flyers were thrown away, most of the posters were covered over, and many of his phone calls were either ignored or resulted in hang-ups. But out of all that, come opening day, there was a huge turnout of people that he had connected with, many of whom were just curious and wanted to check it out. “Wait a minute. I can’t believe I spent all this time reading this book for you to tell me to canvas flyers in a parking lot. It just seems like such a waste and not a very productive way to get clients.” Why not? “Are you kidding me? Usually when I see a flyer on my car, I’ll just toss it away without really looking at it.” Why is that? “Well, because it doesn’t really scream credibility, does it? I mean, how do I know I can trust it?” Well, that may be true some of the time. Bear in mind that it’s a pretty easy and inexpensive way to quickly canvas a neighborhood and spread the word about your service. However, there are also occasions when this system is effective.66 By the way, modern variations of that same technique include mass mailings through the post (like coupon books and packets) and through the internet (as in SPAM. More on that in a minute). It’s important to note that the more widespread and impersonal a marketing strategy is, the easier it is to turn a blind eye to the message. Look at how we are nowadays with television. Time was when we got caught up in the commercials, and we had to watch them in order to get to the rest of Three’s Company, but now with TIVO and DVRs and everything else, it’s become too easy to skip past the commercials. Occasionally there may be a well-constructed campaign or featuring our favorite celebrity that Return Of Investment: A commonly-used business term. Get to know it because when you step into Stage Two of Marketing you’ll be visiting this concept more often. Simply put, it’s the ratio of income 66 I have found some great local deals or a wonderful events going on by checking out fliers. Theand trick expenses. is not to And rely onwhile it so we’relely for on your purposes. If you have access to multiple forms of marketing, by all means, use them. Rememberthe fromtopic, before, you can the morealso filteryou work in not in layers, the stronger your foundation is, the greater your chances of return. We’ll be exploring moreonly aboutfinancial this inexpenses, a few pag butes. also time and energy, as well as other valuable For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDoresults Bits” atthan www.bedo.org just income, like reputation, credibility, subscribers and followers, etc. But that comes later. Page 106 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org will catch our eye, but usually because it’s impersonal, it’s much easier to ignore.67 “So then you’re saying that I should just avoid any mass marketing tools like flyers and emails and commercials?” Well, perhaps at this point you should hold off on the commercials, as they are still quite expensive and not a good ROI. But even through these methods, there are ways of increasing your odds—namely connecting to the need or desire, and offering a Call To Action. Another way of increasing the effectiveness of any one marketing strategy—even flyers or posters—is to combine it with another approach. So instead of just brushing this option aside, let’s use it as an example to learn from and see how you can perhaps begin building your understanding of Basic Marketing. In the case of Bennie, this first wave of flyers was enough to generate interest to get people in the door. Bennie had a few things going his way that helped him out. First off, his product was food—which targets one of our fundamental needs in life. (People always need food.) Secondly, he offered a free pickle-pop with every order of a Big Bad Bennie Bean Burger. (People always desire free things.) And lastly, the flyer was referencing a specific event on a specific date and time. “Grand Opening! Thursday at 3:00!” This gives the reader something clear to grab onto. If it was something vague and general like, “Show up at any time and buy whatever you feel like,” there wouldn’t be a clear and compelling Call To Action. (Remember that phrase? Yeah, it’s pretty important. And, yeah, we’ll be referring to this later on as well.) But back to the lessons. As you might have guessed, this is an excellent example of very passive marketing. Just pop a flyer in the mail or on a windshield (or in a Laundromat or café bulletin board, etc.) and wait for potential customers to magically wander past it at the right time and hope it catches their interest. This approach basically boils down to being a numbers game. If Bennie sends out 1000 mailers or flyers and just five people come in the door to make a purchase, most likely his marketing costs will be covered. (The modern-day version of this technique is email and text marketing which can reach many more people instantly and cost a whole lot less.) Therefore, if Bennie sends out 10,000 or more mailers, then statistically speaking, his chances of attracting business increases accordingly. But all that costs either time or money, or both, not to mention the “man hours” it takes to go from car to car. And while Bennie has a team of high school students to do all work, you don’t. So let’s take a look at what you can more reasonably afford—time and money-wise. “Yeah. Putting flyers on windshields in a parking lot, or sticking them up on Laundromat bulletin boards is one thing. But I get it’s probably not that effective for my needs. Besides, I don’t think you’re suggesting that I just spread the word about my coaching to all the bulletin boards and cars I come across? You said something about sending an email. But isn’t that really the same thing?” True. And we’ll go into more detail later about how to effectively use both approaches. And you’re right. Simply relying on a passive marketing approach is not likely to satisfy your needs. However, this approach may be useful when you’re marketing Remember the three big words in marketing: a specific workshop or event and you want to get the word out quickly, and in those areas LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION. If you’re offering a health and wellness workshop, then 67 perhaps a well placed flyer at the local gym might catch the Asright a result, eye. they’veOr if you had were to get helping more clever people with to marketing, find the perfect actually putting product placement in the very shows you’re watching. The next time you see a brand name on any show, you know that is a carefully constructed, paid for, advertisement. job, then a notice at the temp agency might be perfect. And what if you were reaching out to entrepreneurial Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org women, or college students, or creative artists? Then you would find out where they hang out to post your flyers. Sometimes a well-placed flyer that catches the eyes of your target market can be quite effective. But again, it’s not too Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 107 of 155 where you might find the perfect customers. Also, by leaving the flyers up for a lengthy period of time, this can also create a slow trickle of interest (passive marketing creates passive results, right?) So keep this in mind for later on when you’re ready to step into Stage Two and start growing your business. “OK.” Remember, this type of mass marketing is about casting the net shallow and wide. Reach out to as many people as you can, as fast and easily as possible. Spread the word and hope that someone in that crowd will be interested. However, the more you refine this marketing tactic, the more effective it becomes. And the way you do that is narrowing your focus and marketing to your target customers—those people who have already expressed a potential interest in what you have to offer. This is what many professional marketing companies do, and although there usually is a little more cost involved (time, resources, money, etc) the ROI is usually higher. And there are examples of this everywhere. After the big opening day, Bennie realized that he, too, wanted to build a more target database to market to. So that first week that he was open, he had a special “Grand Opening” contest. All you had to do was visit the website and sign up to receive a special “free mustard shake” coupon. Although he ended up giving a lot of them away, he ended up with a large list of customers that he knew liked his food. These are the people to send special mailers and announcements to. Because they’re already interested, the direct marketing to them is even more effective Looking at it from an ROI perspective, Bennie spend $100 on flyers and got about $200 in sales. However, by spending $300 on free mustard shakes, he actually earned over $900 in other food. (Of course I’m just making these numbers up, but the theory is true.) Little do you know that you are already on many lists of “preferred target customers.” How many credit card, mortgage, or other finance offers do you receive in the mail? Most likely you’re on some sort of list that markets to your demographic. Ever enter a contest for a free vacation getaway? That company can afford to offer that meager $2000 prize, because they’re getting in return a narrowed down list of people who are more likely to travel, and so they’ll make sure to send new deals and opportunities your way, hoping to make much more in return down the road. What about your coaching school? They probably continue to send you emails and notices from time to time of special classes and events in your area. How about those newsletters that you’ve signed up for (including my very own, BeDo Bits, right)?68 And to be honest, the fact FREE for a FEE: that you purchased this book, suggests to me that you might be interested Another powerful thing to in something else that I might have to offer—another product, a keep in mind. Never give workshop or class, or another book of great value to you and your anything away completely for coaching. The fact is, using this approach, you’ve expressed interest free. Look at all the offers on once, and the marketers are banking on the fact that you were satisfied TV and the web. Even though they say it’s free, you usually enough to come back. have to give up something, if By the way, most businesses make most of their money from repeat not money, then your name and email address. Why? So customers. When you go on a cruise, you get a substantial discount if you can be put on a database you book your next trip right there. When you go to a store, they’ll give for future marketing. Well, if you a discount coupon with your receipt to encourage you to come back. they can do it, why can’t you?

68 I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I’m very proud of the material I create in my quest to help coaches just like you grow in skills and confidence, and the Bits Newsletter is a great resource. Each issue is chock full of rich content of all sorts that you can apply immediately to your coaching. And it’s free. So what are you waiting for? Go ahead. Visit www.bedo.org and sign up so you can start building your coaching confidence and success, bit by bit.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 108 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org

Bennie sure knew the power of this technique, and so he created the “Bennie’s Best” card. There was a different mark for each item they serve, and if you managed to work your way through the entire menu, then you get a free “Super Bennie Burger” which is three of your favorite sandwiches combined together into one, and you get to name it, and get it for free whenever you visit the store (limited to once a month) for an entire year. A special treat and honor that many will attempt, but only a few loyal customers will get to enjoy. Look in your purse or wallet. How many “loyalty” cards do you have that are either punched, marked or scanned? Café’s, Bookstores, Grocery Stores, Office Supplies, Frequent Flyer mile, it’s everywhere. And it’s a clear indicator that people love getting “something for nothing”, or at least that it feels like it. The success of this technique relies on you knowing your niche and target market. (Remember that from the beginning of this book?) Most likely you’re not clear about either right now. (And remember, that’s part of what you’ll begin to discover the more you work with your clients). And when you finally do get clear, you’ll likely be ready to step into Stage Two. But for now, you’re still in Stage One, which is less about building business (and focusing on a target market) and more about down and dirty getting your first five clients. And to do that, we’re exploring various techniques, and how to modify them to suit your needs and abilities. And that comes soon. For now, let’s go back to Bennie. Along with flyers, the internet was another place he went to publicize the grand opening of his Burger Barn, including all those social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter; he even posted himself on YouTube dressed in his chef’s coat and toque showing off his latest Burger creation. All of these various marketing techniques worked together to generate excitement and enrollment and to get people in the door, not just on opening day, but afterwards as well. Just like Bennie, you have plenty of ways to reach out and begin your basic marketing. And most likely, like Bennie, you’ll get basically three standard responses. A) “Why thank you for sending me this and letting me know. I would love to take advantage of what you’re offering.” That’s what you’re wanting and, as I keep saying, the more prospects you send your announcement out to, the greater the odds of you filling your client list. And the greater your client list, the more effective your marketing can be… if not immediately, then over time. B) There also may be no response at all. This could be due to many reasons: the flyer blew off their windshield, they threw it away, they weren’t home and didn’t listen to your message, the email got lost buried in all the other mail they get every day, they’re not interested in your product or they already have a coach, they meant to follow up and just forgot, or any one of a hundred thousand reasons. (We’ll talk more about that in a minute.) The point is, unless you get a definite “No,” then the rule of thumb is to consider your prospect still a possibility, and perhaps a simple follow- up is all that’s required (more on that later, too). C) Finally, a clear and definite “No.” This can be a simple, “Thank you I’m not interested,” or perhaps a more aggressive “Stop selling to me and take me off your list right now!” “You mean they might think I’m SPAMMING them? I don’t want to make people mad.” First off, let’s get clear what we’re talking about. SPAMMING was not what Bennie was doing. SPAM is a term that refers to unsolicited and unwanted bulk emails (UBE) that come flooding in again and again, clogging up our Inboxes and wasting our time. It’s usually auto-generated (which means sent not by a person but by a computer program that instantly sends out the same message to the same list of

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 109 of 155 recipients repeatedly.) This is indeed considered illegal (as well as a big pain in the whoop-de-doo for the rest of us). It’s possible that somebody may indeed consider what you are doing as SPAM and reply with a request that you not continue to bother them. However, despite what they may say in their perhaps not- so-courteous email to you, don’t worry, you are not violating any laws and aren’t in any danger of being arrested and thrown in the clink. Again: SPAM is the same or similar message sent to the same address over and over. And actually, even that is not really considered an offense unless the repeats go into the double digits. So rest assured, your single email does not constitute SPAM, nor are you one of those dreaded SPAMMERS.69 The other thing that makes SPAM messages illegal is that most of them do not provide a way for the addressee to “opt out” from getting future notices. Once you’re on the list, you’re stuck on the list. The next time you get a SPAM message in your box, look down at the bottom. There should be a link you can click on to request that your name and email address be removed from the mailing list. Most SPAMs don’t have this. And where they do, you’ll usually find it isn’t even a real link that actually removes you, but actually can load you onto another SPAM list. (These people are tricky.) So if you do receive an angry (or friendly) “Take me off your list” email, that is considered an “opt out” and, of course, it would very uncoachlike and disrespectful of you not to honor that person’s wishes.70 Under those circumstances, for you to keep sending such an individual unwanted email would begin the slippery slide toward SPAMland. Simply take that person off your list (and if it’s someone whom you really don’t know, then it’s also a good idea to remove them from your address book to avoid any accidental mailings to them in the future.) Keeping somebody on a mailing list in itself isn’t illegal, as long as the person receiving your mailings has chosen to be on the list. But let’s consider for a moment: how did you get their email address in your address book in the first place? Did you purchase it? Nope. Steal it from another source? Of course not. Chances are, you either put it there, or, at one time or another, they sent you something and your email program made a record of it. Well, if that’s the case, then they actually gave you their email address. True, there was no prior agreement that they wanted to be marketed to, but then again there wasn’t any request not to be contacted for other purposes, either. So you might look at this first email to everybody in your address book as a way to clarify or “clean” your Mailing list. If somebody wants out, then they’re out. No problem. (It’s your choice if you want to send an apology or just let it go.) And by the way, you can also take their reaction as a sign that they aren’t likely to be your client and move on so you don’t spend any more time on them and you can focus on your more promising prospects. (Remember, more focused marketing creates more focused results.) So, now that we’ve got that all cleared up, let’s continue, shall we? “Yes, by all means. I can’t wait to see what I should do next.”

BACK TO WHAT YOU SHOULD DO Now, let’s see…. Where was I? Oh yes, Sending your coaching announcement out to everyone on your Address Book. And yes, take the risk that someone may be upset (you can’t please everyone) and

69 Of course, thanks to these annoying people, we now have all types of special detectors and blockers to protect us from being so inconsiderately bombarded. So there’s a chance the emails that you send out might accidentally be blocked. It’s not personal, and it’s not about you, it’s just an unfortunate casualty. One way to avoid this is to resist using certain “buzz” words, like “FREE”. Also, if you’re sending in batches, keep them small. It’s a little more work, but it can increase your odds a little. 70 Don’t forget: You give respect in order to get respect. It never works the other way around.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 110 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org that you’ll easily clean it up if you need to, because you also might just find your next client out there. Just do it. You definitely won’t find them if you don’t.71 Type out a letter, make sure it's short and simple, but contains these few, but powerful, elements.  Let them know what you are doing, your intention and actions you have taken for yourself (e.g. entering a particular training or Certification or other advanced coach training).  Tell them what it is about coaching that gives you satisfaction. (Your COACHING PURPOSE, perhaps. You know, like we explored before.) Which will also include some modification of, or reflection on, your Personal Empowering Phrase and your top five words. (It doesn’t have to be the actual phrase. In fact, it’s more important to share the essence of your phrase than to repeat it word for word. We’ll talk more about that in a minute.)  Add any additional benefit they may receive as the weeks progress and the coaching grows even richer and more exciting. This is where you can personalize your copy if you know any of the specifics that your potential client is struggling with. Be careful not to make any promises you can’t guarantee (remember the results of coaching relies on the client’s participation too), but to let them know what could be possible for them to achieve with the two of you working together. Ideally you want to make coaching so compelling it’s an offer they can’t possibly refuse.  Indicate that usually coaching can cost anywhere from $300 to $1,000 a month (which is the standard rate at the Why 6 months? Make them an offer they time of this writing, but obviously you can Several reasons. can’t refuse. use your own numbers to illustrate the a) If your training is 6 months long, dollar Value of a coaching relationship). you want your client to stick Then add that, because this is a special situation, you are around the whole time. making a special discount offer that will only be available b) Coaching is in part about recreating new habits, which for the next 6 months. (You can either list your price or— typically take 3 to 12 weeks to some would say it can be less off-putting—wait until they form, depending on the resistance call to ask.) If there are specific people for whom you know and obstacles. money might be an issue, but who may be able to provide a c) Coaching isn’t just a quick fix. particular service in exchange—house cleaning, massages, Real change takes commitment and persistence. By making— dinner, babysitting, lawn service, graphic design, and asking for—a 6-month bookkeeping, whatever you need that they have—you may commitment, you’re telling your offer to barter your services for theirs of a similar value. client you’re with them for the long haul. Your commitment  Be sure to include your own version of these phrases: will support theirs, especially when they want to stop and go A) “I need you to help“ - in other words, make a specific back to their old ways (the request and call to action. (“You made a great pitch,” I Comfort Zone Blues). once heard a seasoned salesman say, “but you forgot the d) Lastly, 6 months is just a good most important thing—asking for the order.”) You won’t sounding number that’s easy to get anything if you don’t ask. And a call to action puts the remember. ball squarely in their court. B) “… so I can become an even better (or stronger, or confident, or powerful) coach” –

71 Besides, as I keep saying, this is actually the easiest of the stages. All the other ones require much more challenging and potentially uncomfortable strategies and actions. Trust me. You’ll look back on this and laugh at just how easy it was.

With this, you’re giving them a “compelling why.” You’re letting them know that there’s something important for you about their participation. C) “Please hurry and respond because my advanced level of training begins...” – Now you’re creating a sense of urgency, which is harder to ignore.  Complete your letter by telling them you really appreciate their taking the time to read it— along with an unambiguous and clear request for them to pass your “offer” on to as many people as they can think of who might be interested. Again, you want to avoid passive or timid phrases like, “Perhaps if you know someone…” or “Maybe you could pass this on…” or “I’d appreciate if you’d consider sharing this…” Instead, make a specific request that they please send to everyone they know. They most likely won’t forward your message to everyone they know, but they will more likely send it to at least a few—IF you make a very clear “ask”. You might even request that they CC you on their forwarding. “That way, I won’t need to bother you with forwarding any of my future messages, as I’ll be able to follow up with these new contacts directly”. (Always keep yourself in the driver’s seat.)  Craft your letter to be no more than 350 words.72 That’s plenty of room to get your entire message across. Resist the urge to explain everything or to go into great detail about this and that. That impulse usually has more to do with our own fears and insecurities anyway. Remember: The longer your letter, the greater you will have made chances of losing them. (Look at how likely you are to read long emails that are sent to you). Keep it short, succinct, and clear. Start right off with the juicy and important stuff to instantly engage them (don’t waste time warming into it). Tell them what you need them to know, and end it while your fresh connection to them is “hot”. This way, your call to action at the end will have more resonance and thus encourage a response. Yes, I know there’s so much you want to convey and share with them, all this important stuff. But keep two things in mind: (1) While it may be important for you to share, is it more important for them to hear; and (2) you can save the rest for your follow- up letters (We’ll be getting to that in a minute, so don’t freak out.) And finally,  Please, please, please, don’t forget to include your contact information. Your email address and phone number are fine—but make sure you have voice mail or a machine to cover any calls that you can’t answer. There’s nothing more embarrassing and futile than doing all this work, stepping out of your comfort zone, reaching out and calling for help, and giving them no way to follow up and respond! NOW STOP!!! Take a look at what you’ve got so far. Read it out loud. How does it sound? How does it feel? On a scale of 1 to 10, how clear is this in conveying your desire and request, and, most important, does it sound like you? Go back if you need to and rework your message so that it’s more in your own words and style (remember: this letter is an extension of you. If it reads like it came out of a series of

72 In case you were wondering, this particular paragraph contains less than 200 words (250 if you include this footnote.) Plenty of room to say what you need. Get in, get out. Simple and sweet. Remember, you want to make this experience as easy and inviting as possible for them, right from the get-go.

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 112 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org exercises or is someone else’s cookie-cutter pitch, it won’t accurately represent who you are. You want to share your “gold” in your own special way. That’s what’ll attract people.73) “Say, wouldn’t this be a whole lot easier if you just gave me something to copy and paste and send away?” You’ve got a point there. It certainly would be much easier if I just said, “Here, take this paragraph, put in your name where is says “your name here” and then send away.” It sure would have saved me a good thirty-some pages of work, wouldn’t it? But I want this book to be more than just a “quick-fix”. I want you to learn something from this so that you can be an integral factor in creating your success. And isn’t that what coaching is all about? You don’t give your clients all the answers. Sure, you can provide the outline and structure for them to follow in building their own success, but they get to fill in their own details and make it personal.74 Besides, how I say it is most likely much different than how you would say it. And as I keep saying, it’s important that not only is the content (the Values, Strengths, Skills and Benefits) all about you, but the style and wording is also specifically and wonderfully yours. It needs to read like you wrote it, like it’s coming from you. Remember, “You are your most attractive when you are authentic.” That means, also expressing yourself fully, in your own unique way. Chances are it may even mean that you stray from the basic outline that I’ve provided and come up with your own material. You could even take everything we’ve worked on up to this point and toss it out the window and write your own thing. “You mean after all that work I may not actually use that Personal Empowering Phrase you made me create?” Well, most likely, no. Of course, if what you created totally works for you in that form—it flows, feels natural, and represents you well—then by all means, go for it. But as a rule, your Personal Empowerment Phrase as we’ve created it so far can feel kind of clunky, sterile, or inauthentic. I mean, we don’t necessarily go around saying to strangers on the street, “You know, I’m committed to working with those who love to be playful and creative. My clients are passionate and empowered and have fulfilling relationships. If that’s you, then you know what to do.” I mean, how weird is that? “Yeah, I guess you’re right. It sure felt a little awkward writing it out that way. But why did we waste all that time creating this phrase if I’m not going to use it?” Great question. And my response is, if you’re getting deep and powerful clarity about yourself and your coaching, was all that time wasted? Even more importantly, if you see it as time wasted, what does that say about how you hold your coaching?75 While you may not use your Empowering Phrase word for word when you share it with others—it may never even be spoken aloud (thus reflecting the “Personal” part of it)—it is a powerful cornerstone upon which the rest of your Marketing is based.

73 Don’t forget about the REAL Law of Attraction, “You are your most attractive when you are authentically showing up.” 74 But you can always send me what you’ve got and I’ll be happy to look at it and help you tweak it as needed. What’s important is that it represent you and your coaching in your own words and essence. 75 Don’t forget that sometimes it can feel like nothing is happening in our coaching sessions with our clients. Weeks and weeks go by with no movement or change. But then when we look back, we’ve actually covered some incredible ground. After all, you don’t see your hair grow, do you?

Remember Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn? Well, when Bennie did a similar exercise, he discovered that his Empowering Phrase was, “We are committed to providing amazing burgers of all different types, breaking new ground in the burger world of flavor and nutrition, so that there’s something for everyone to enjoy. We will make the burgers that others wouldn’t dare to make and our customers will always be excited to eat our food.” Now, you’ll have to agree, this wouldn’t make for the most compelling advertisement out there (I’m sure that Five Client Check-in: there are much better ways to attract customers). And although as marketing content it’s pretty sterile and boring, Speaking of Missions and Purpose. Don’t forget, the purpose of you getting this the fact is all of Bennie’s marketing springs from this book in the first place was to deepen your phrase. When Bennie and Co. created the commercial for coaching foundation, to truly get started with their “new Burger-latte: your coffee and burger all in one” as much of the business building basics as campaign, it’s based on their Empowering Phrase. In fact, you could get, and to find your First Five this phrase (or a version of it) will most likely be used Clients so that you could fully step into that Stage One of marketing and begin within the corporation to help keep Benny and his team discovering your coaching more deeply. focused on their overall purpose and direction. Stay with this. You’ve learned so much already. And this is where you are now “Wait a minute, are you suggesting that this is this getting into action. something like a Mission Statement?” That can be exciting, and it can be scary. Either way, just be sure you stay with this. Something like it, very similar in fact, but not quite (And contact me if you need some support) exactly the same. Let’s look at the two. A Mission Statement is usually crafted for a business or organization, focusing more on the overall reason and purpose of the company, along with overall goals and vision. Consider that it’s a “Statement of your Mission.” For example, Star Trek’s Mission Statement could be “To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go where no man has gone before.” Or in Bennie’s case, his company’s Mission Statement could be “To explore strange new recipes. To seek out new food combinations and new flavors. To boldly go where no burger has gone before.” Don’t worry, when you’re ready to step into Stage Two of your marketing it will be important that you recognize yourself as a business; the company of YOU and the product is YOUR COACHING. So a Mission Statement will eventually come in very handy then. And there are plenty of websites, programs, and experts that can help you along the way. However, your Personal Empowering Phrase is something that actually comes before the Mission Statement is created (remember the danger of skipping steps?), illustrating not so much the overall purpose and goal of your business and where you are heading as a business, but what is powerful and engaging about you right now. Who are you? What is your coaching like? What are your natural strengths? How do your clients experience you? Your BEing-ness, as it were. In other words, it’s important to know who you are and what you offer before you can begin moving forward. What your Personal Empowering Phrase and a more formal Mission Statement do have in common is that both are something that you can turn to while you’re building your coaching and your business.

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It’s the foundation that everything else gets to rest upon. In fact, most likely you’ll use elements of your PEP to expand and create your Mission Statement.76 Got the difference? “Yeah, I think so.” Good. Let’s move on. Back to composing your letter, remember that you can and should use your Personal Empowering Phrase as inspiration and, yes, some key information that serves as a kind of launching platform for your invitation. (Boy that just rolls off the tongue so well, Inspiration, Information, Invitation.) The trick is to not rely completely on your Personal Empowering Phrase word for word (because that most likely won’t contain all the proper information needed at this point anyway) but to find that happy balance between your personal statement to yourself (your PEP) and what you want to say to your prospective customers. Next comes a very important step. Please don’t skip this. Most likely you’re still feeling a bit “ooky” about all this and not so sure that you are ready to reveal this to the world. Instead you now most likely find you’re saying things like, “Will this work? Am I doing it right? What the heck am I doing? I’m going to look like a total idiot and moron and embarrass myself.” and whatever else your Saboteur—because that’s not really you, or rather your “Empowered Self” talking, you see—is trying to tell you to get you to stop this crazy action before someone gets hurt. So take this moment to buy yourself a little insurance. Before you send this out to your super list, send it to just one person, somebody close to you. Someone you trust. The one person you know you can share this with and get some clear constructive feedback—a spouse, sibling, best friend, or even your coach. Let them know this is not a finished product yet, it’s a work in progress, and what you want from them is their thoughts on how this phrase reads to them. Does it feel like something you, the person they know, would say. Does it properly convey you and your passion and your purpose? Does it engage them? Does it call them to action? And ask if there is anything that is unclear (how we think about it in our heads can be very different than how it actually comes across.) Take what they tell you with an open heart. If it doesn’t work, don’t take it personally and get defensive, just ask them what’s missing. If they feel your message is unclear, ask them where, specifically, and what suggestions they may have to sharpen it. In other words, you don’t have to do this whole thing alone. You’ve got a support team who love to support you, so take advantage of it. Once you’ve got it to where your feedback person confirms that it’s truly you, and where you read it, it feels great and exciting (I mean, how would you respond if you got this letter sent to you?) then, as I said, go ahead and send it out to EVERYONE on your mailing list, even the ones you don't know who they are or how they got there. No matter how ooky you may feel, just do it. Your clients are out there, they just don't know about you... yet.77 It's your job to let them know you are ready for them. “Even my friends and family? I still don’t know if I’m comfortable coaching them.” That’s fine. You don’t need to decide until you actually come to that, and then if they want coaching, together you can create a coaching relationship that will work, or you can find alternatives.

76 And don’t forget, your P-E-P also represents your Passion, Energy and Purpose. And that goes a long way. 77 There’s an old Irish Proverb that says, “A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.” Try looking at it that way. Everyone out there is a possible client. Not to be confused with a probable client, that’s different. And you won’t know until you introduce yourself to them in this capacity, and let them decide.

Regardless, there’s no need to eliminate those close to you from your list. On the contrary, they can actually be powerful allies because they are close to you. First of all, it’ll be much easier to talk to them directly (either on the phone or in person) because you already have a comfortable relationship with them; and, second, you can more easily request that they forward your letter to EVERY address that they have, too. Isn’t that cool? (I’m all about making this easy.) Besides, look at the math. I’ll admit that I’m completely making up numbers ’cause this is really impossible to regulate and track. However, for the sake of illustrating the example, let’s say you send your P-E-P/Coaching Invitation in 100 emails, 10 of which are going to close family members. Even if they are really too close in relationship for you to cleanly coach, because they love you and want you to succeed, they pass your message along to 100 people on their end (just because you asked them to, right?). Well, do the math: That’s 10x100, which means that your message just went to over 1,000 additional people. Now do you think maybe you could find at least five people to coach out of 1,100? That’s less than .5%. Hey, how easy is that?

“Gosh. When you put it that way, it seems pretty easy.” SIMPLE MATH That’s cause it is. Remember, I’ve been telling you that Stage One 10 family members x 100 people they know is the easiest of the stages? We’ll now you’re going to begin to see = 1,000 contacts why. + initial 100 emails = 1,100 total contacts “Yeah, but you said these specific numbers were made up. I mean, x .005 (or .5%) how can you be sure that all ten of those people will send to a = 5.5 potential clients hundred people. That’s seems like a pretty far-fetched fantasy.” Ok. I’ll go that way. I’ll admit that assuming you’ve reached 1,000 people this way is a little generous. So let’s take a more conservative pass. Let’s say that you have only 50 people in your Address Book (I know you have more, but we’re looking at this tactic on a small scale this time.) And let’s say that five of them are close family and friends (I’m guessing it’s a safe assumption that you have at least five family and friends.) Normally even without any request to pass it on (and this includes the extremely passive “if you know of anyone…” approach, which hardly ever creates results), your letter might be forwarded to perhaps one additional contact per person, at best, and most likely your email won’t even be passed on. But remember, you’re not being passive and just sitting around hoping that everything will happen without your having to do anything. You’re taking action. You’re being proactive and reaching out and spreading the word and sharing yourself. Many people’s experience has shown: Passive Marketing encourages passive results. Active Marketing encourages Active Results So, as instructed, you make a specific call to action. By avoiding any “ifs”—but assuming that they do know other people (because they do)—and therefore requesting that they do, you increase the feeling of urgency that they spread the word. The average forwarding response actually ends up going out to something more like between three and five people, and sometimes more. (Not to mention that there may be not-so-close family members who might also be willing to pass your message along. Even in using these conservative numbers, your call for help has now reached to about 100 people, instantly doubling what you initially sent out. On average, getting anywhere from 20% to 50% of the people you send an email to actually opening and reading your letter is considered an amazing ratio. (Many professional marketers are happy with as

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 116 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org little as 5%—or even less) when you take into account the stages that your email has to pass through. Think about your own response to emails that you get all the time. 1. They have to open your email. Many people simply delete any messages that don’t register as important. Not only that, but as we mentioned earlier, occasionally legitimate messages get caught in SPAM filters. 2. Others will open your email, but not actually read it. Instead they glance over it quickly just to “see” the contents, enough to know that it’s not important and most likely doesn’t pertain to them and that it’s OK to throw away.

3. Finally, some will actually take the time to read through the MORE SIMPLE MATH content. And they will either connect with it or not. There’s 50 emails no guarantee, even at this point, that they will respond. Admit (+5 family x 5 forwards) 25 it, how many an email have you read, only to let it sit in your (+ 5 friends x5 forwards) 25 “inbox” or on your desk indefinitely with the sincere intention = 100 contacts to “get to it later”? 20% of 100 = 20 open 4. For an email (or any type of marketing really) to be effective, 10% of 20 feel it = 2 calls the customer needs to open it, see it, read it, and feel it. That’s the last step, they have to feel it. And if they feel it, then it’s likely they will respond to it.78 So let’s break this down. Again, we’ll still play this conservatively, with deliberately low numbers (though the high ones are so much more fun) and assume that out of those 100 recipients of your email message, about 20 will open it up, 20% of those will “see” it and 20% of those will actually read it. Out of that number, it’s a decent guess that perhaps 10% might “feel it” and be curious enough to contact you. That’s two people. “Great. All that work for only two people.” Perhaps. But on the other hand, think of it this way, it is two people. And now it’s up to you to connect with them personally in your best coaching manner to see if you are the right coach for them. Yes, I know this number may seem a little low, after all this effort, and probably not that exciting to read. The point is that at some point this does end up being a numbers game, and the more numbers you send to, the better your chances of ending up with somebody (or somebodies) as your client. Which is, after all, the whole idea, isn’t it? And I’ve given you two general ranges here; most likely your results will be somewhere in the middle. It all begins with how many people you send your email message to in the first place and how compelling the content and specific your call to action is in your letter, and of course the follow up (which I’ll get to on the next page). What follows first are some strategies that will help increase your initial average response rate. By the way, if you haven’t already begun your twice daily “coaching success mantra” this might be a good time to implement it. “Wait. ‘Coaching success mantra’? What’s that? I don’t have a mantra?” Yes, you do. Remember? You’ve got your Goal that you’ve written down way back at the beginning of this book (what you will have achieved, the date by when you will have reached it, and what you will do to get it, clear and specific) and your Personal Empowering Phrase that you just

78 Remember: If our actions stem from our thoughts and emotions, then if our email can encourage their thought and emotion in a particular direction, it also encourages their action to follow suit.

completed earlier. Repeat your Phrase followed by your goal aloud, twice a day, once when you wake up, and again when you go to bed. EVERY DAY. You’ll be rewiring your programming, encouraging you to more easily remember who you really are, and what you’re out to accomplish. Which will make it so much easier when you follow up your emails. FOLLOW-UP #1: ”Follow-up? Wait a minute. If I follow your instructions, I’ll be sending this to over 100 people, maybe even 200. You’ve got to be kidding me. I thought you said this was going to be easy. ” I did. I didn’t say that you wouldn’t have to extend a little effort here and there. Besides, this is a critical step that can’t be overlooked. Consider that with all the emails we get nowadays, and with all that’s going on in our lives, it’s all too easy for things to get lost in the day-to-day shuffle. As a general rule, people need to see something anywhere from 3 to 7 times for it to register and for them to respond. Besides, how difficult and time consuming do you think it will be pushing the “send” button again. (Why do you think the signs outside strip clubs say, “GIRLS! GIRLS! GIRLS!”?) Look at all the reminders you get in your email and paper mail for all those important things and how easy it can be for you to put those things off. You need to increase your chances of getting a response, by increasing your exposure. (Remember: Active marketing encourages active results!) To help illustrate this further, let’s make up some more numbers and take a look at the “Exponential Marketing Matrix”. ”The Matrix? What, you mean like that 1999 sci-fi movie where everything is not real but in a fabricated computer program?” Well, sort of. This is a formula to clarify how results tend to grow with repeated exposure. While it’s not a lock-in guarantee (I’ll remind you of this frequently) because of so many variables, the concept is true. Let’s say you send your email to 100 people. At best, perhaps 50% will actually have opened the message, the rest will simply delete it without looking. 50% of those who opened will at least have glanced at or “seen” it, and 50% of those will have taken a moment to actually take in the content and what you’re offering. (Yes, even your close friends and family can’t be guaranteed to hang on your every word.) So that means about 12 people (as an educated estimated guess) will have actually taken the time to read and pay attention to your letter. Of that group, maybe 10% will “feel” it and connect with what you’re saying and consider contacting you. Congratulations. That means that you’ll most likely get one phone call out of 100 people who are aware of who you are, what you do and what you need. Actually, that’s not really bad odds for a shot in the dark when you think about it. We’re only talking about a 1% return. Now, let’s repeat this process using the same number of people and the same percentages, but this time let’s assume that by sending a follow up-email, you’re passing across their eyes once again in some form, thereby re-connecting with those other 99 who have yet to call you. Normally, we could follow the standard formula and simply assume that you’ll get another 50% opening response like you did before, and 50% of those people “seeing” it, etc., bringing in another single call. Which is still, not too bad, considering all you’re doing is sending out basically the same email as before.

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But in truth, what happens is actually exponential, which means it builds STILL MORE upon itself. Why? Simply put, those who “saw” it last time will recognize it SIMPLE MATH and be more likely to pay closer attention this time and move to the next step. 100 emails For example: take that original 50% who initially opened your email x .5 (or 50%) = 50 opens (assuming that they’ll open it again) and then add 50% of the remaining 50 x .5 (or 50%) that didn’t before, but will more likely open it this time around, making for a = 25 read total of 75 people out of the initial 100 who have opened your message this x .5 (or 50%) second time. Pretty good percentage already, huh? = 12.5 paid attention x .1 (or 10%) Working with this new number of 75 “opens”, and following the same 1.25 contact you assumptive math formula, of the initial 50 people who opened the first time 50% of them actually read it. Just like the standard formula suggests. (It’s safe to assume that the original 25 people who glanced at your message before will do so again.) Of the remaining 25 who opened that first email but did not “see” it, maybe half—because it’s being reinforced by that second reminder—will open it this time, which means an additional 12.5 people could “see” your email.79 And finally, don’t forget to add 50% of the 25 people opening it for the first time, making an additional 12.5 people who have now “seen” your email, for a grand total of 50 people of that initial 100 now having opened and “seen” your email. (Already you’ve doubled the initial result. What started as a 25% rate of people who actually saw your message has now become a 50%.) Simply repeat this formula again to reveal the increased number of contacts actually “reading” your message. Instead of the previous 12, the number of people actually reading your email has more then doubled to 31. (Are you beginning to see the beauty of the “Exponential Marketing Matrix“?) Now, here’s where it gets even more fun. Just apply the same math as before. Following the original formula, 10% of your original 12.5 people “reading” would result in one person “feeling” it and actually contacting you. That’s one call actually coming your way—which is exactly what you want. (Again, not bad odds.) However, with this new exponential formula you get to take the remaining 11 original readers who didn’t “feel it” that first time, and add another 10% of them to your response rate (because you’ve double-connected with these people), resulting in yet another call. And then take 10% of the new 19 who will be reading your email this second time around, and you’ve got yourself another two people “feeling it” and responding to your request. Add these new calls to your initial call from the first time around, and you’ve got a running total of four calls coming your way. So just with a single follow-up, you’ve just increased your return from a 1% to a 4% overall. Not too bad. So you can see from this example that, while the actual percentages vary from coach to coach and circumstance to circumstance, every time you connect with your potential clients in some way, you’re reinforcing their awareness of you. Again, I remind you that these numbers are arbitrary and will vary, and may be different in your case, but the principle is true. Follow-through is crucial to creating your success, and, as others who have tried it will attest, just this one action may provide exciting results.80 (Can I repeat it enough? Active Marketing encourages Active Results! Learn it. Live it. Love it.)

79 How many times have you tossed away or deleted something, only to have it return, and this time you check it out? 80 Look at it this way. If Active Marketing encourages Active Results, then we can assume that the more active you are, the more potential results, right? So take advantage of this concept and explore just how many ways you can get active. I’ve already given you several ideas and options, now let your own ideas flow. And if it’s creative and truly expresses you and your voice, then more likely your reaching out is going to be engaging and exciting for the receiver. (Remember: you are your most attractive when you are authentically showing up.)

Let's take a look at the “Exponential Marketing Matrix“ chart to see what happens when you follow up again and again with that same initial 100 people to see how the numbers can really change dramatically.

Exponential Marketing Matrix Will open your Will see your Will read your Will feel and Sent to email email email respond Initial email 100 50 25 12.5 1.25 First follow-up 100 75 50 31.25 4.25 Phone call 100 87.5 68.75 50 8.825 Second follow-up 100 93.75 81.25 65.625 14.5 As you can see, every time you reach out, or “touch” the other person, you're reinforcing whatever level of connection is already there. Think again to how many times you've ignored an email only to have it appear again and again in your box, with an intriguing message in the subject line, and it's a name that you know and trust. Eventually, you're going to open it. And then they've got you moving into the next step. The point is: According to this formula, by the fourth time you’ve made some sort of connection with the same 100 people, instead of getting the same 1% return four times over (as you might get if you reached out to a new 100 only once every time), your actual return could be as much as a 14-call response, or 14%. This is what I mean by “Exponential Marketing“. Pretty rocking, huh? “Yeah, that’s pretty cool. But this is all assuming that 50% would consistently do what they’re supposed to do. What if my percentages are lower?” Well, first off, there’s no logical reason to assume that you wouldn’t get the same numbers. It’s entirely possible. But you’re right, the truth is, this strategy comes with no guarantee. There are many uncontrollable factors that can affect this ratio. This is merely meant to serve as an example based on averages and past experiences and estimations. Let’s look at the same formula but with lower percentages plugged in. Let’s say that you actually averaged a lower 20% conversion at all the stages, which is actually pretty low.81 Of course, your results would also be diminished, but you’ll see that the principle still holds true. With one email sent to 100 people, you might be lucky to get just one person actually opening, “seeing” and “reading” your initial email, and 10% of that (which is a pretty safe, and actually low, estimate) would result in less than 1/10th of that one individual “feeling” it and calling you—or in this case, “0” response. Getting a “0” response can be very discouraging indeed, and might seem to confirm your Saboteur’s continual whispering (sometimes quite loudly) to the effect that “you suck and there’s no way you’ll ever get this going. I mean, you did what this book says, you sent it out to 100 people, and… nothing?” When that happens, (your Saboteur now has the proof!) it makes it even harder to stay committed. However, because this result is perhaps to be expected, and you’re using the miracle of “Exponential Marketing“—which involves a plan to follow up your email a few times—you’ll quickly and easily convert that “0” into almost “2” calls.

81 We can assume that this is just a plain email. Other ways to boost your numbers are to make sure that you have a compelling message, a captivating header or subject line, some color (not too much), and even a photo or picture can really grab attention and help them move to the next step. You might want to take a look at other people's email marketing to get an idea of what works for you. Remember, it's not about “getting them” instantly to buy, but to move to the next step. If they didn't open, then give them a reason to open. If they didn't read it then give them something interesting to read. And if they haven't contacted you, then give them a reason to contact you.

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Exponential Marketing Matrix EXTRA BONUS ACTION FOR EXTRA RESULTS: Most likely you’re also signed up with one or more of these social networking websites like “Facebook” and “Twitter”. (And if you’re not, you might consider getting connected with one or more of these sites. They’re a great way to quickly communicate to a widespread network and beyond.) Instead of just having it be a place where random thoughts and comments accumulate, why not put this network to work on your “net” by casting your net to these groups with your request. Best scenario: you’ll get some response. But at the very least, you’ll have put yourself out there and your online community will want to support you by holding you accountable to your goals. “Hey, how’s it going with finding your first five clients?” And then you can respond with your status, and a follow-up invitation. Man, in no time you’ll be an expert in the art of “putting yourself out there.” Will open your Will read your Will pay Sent to email email attention Will respond Initial email 100 20 4 0.8 0.08 First follow-up 100 36 10.4 2.72 0.344 Phone call 100 48.8 18.08 5.792 0.8888 Second follow up. 100 59.04 26.272 9.888 1.79 So now that we've looked at the low and the high estimates, it’s my guess that your numbers will fall THE MATRIX AND YOUR MIND somewhere between these two estimates, perhaps even Don’t worry, this isn’t some super sci-fi thing exceed them, depending on your list and your wording where you’ll wake up in a desolate future with a and some other factors. But it’s very unlikely you’ll tube in your head. However, remember way back to when we were talking about writing something do worse. True, if you sent this to 100 complete over and over, and the reprogramming of your strangers, then you might get no contact, no matter brain? Consider this formula a rough explanation how much follow up you do. This goes back to that of how it works. Notice how every time someone “cold calling” thing I told you about. There's no pre- comes across your message, it gets reinforced a established connection between you and them, so why little bit. Each time building upon the previous. Well, the same goes for your positive thoughts. would they be interested? While this can be an And every time you send yourself that “message”, effective tactic, it's best left to the professionals who the more that it grows in possibility of being know what they are doing. You could try it later on, “opened”, “read”, “paid attention to”, and then but I suggest for now, simply going with what you “responded to” by your brain. know... and who you know. Besides, by sending this And that’s when really exciting stuff happens. to everyone you know, you're tapping into that relationship and familiarity.82 Not only that, but because you already have a familiarity, it's going to be more comfortable for you to reach out as well. And I say, why not make this easy? Another thing to keep in mind is that we’re working with an assumption that you’re sending out to 100 people. But this formula is pretty simple to make that adjustment. If you’re sending out to 200,

82 Case in point, should you ever receive an email from me, you'll know who I am and what I do. While you may not automatically open, see, read, and feel what I have to offer (though I hope you do), you'll be more likely to do one of them because you already have an experience of me.

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 121 of 155 then double the expected results, if you’re sending to only 50, you can probably anticipate half the results. Again, these numbers are just estimates, the important thing to keep in mind is that the formula (percentages aside) basically works. The other very important thing to learn from this experience is that, just because they didn't reply the first time, it doesn't mean they don't want to work with you. It just means they didn’t respond. 83 (Be careful how you collapse the simple truth—what happened—to agree with your interpretation of it all. That's a sneaky Saboteur trick.) Really, what a great opportunity for you to BE the coach in all this, and not take anything personally. Look at this mailing as your chance to offer your friends and relatives a friendly reminder of who you are, what you do, and what’s available for them. Take a stand for their stepping out of their comfort zone and make a change in their lives. (You don’t have to actually tell them you’re doing this. Just do it.) So, for Follow-up Step #1, three days later, send another letter to the same people. Which means EVERYONE (because, as we all know, sometimes people need a little nudge). Oh, and change the wording a bit so it doesn't look exactly the same, which makes it harder to ignore and encourages curiosity (this is where you get to utilize some of that left-over material from your earlier drafts). And this time increase the urgency of their response by letting them all know that you have only “one spot” left (even if you have more than that) and your cutoff date is only a week away (even if it isn't). What you’re doing is a version of those Late-Night infomercials, “call now, while supplies last.” Then wait a couple days and… FOLLOW-UP #2: “Again?” Yep. But this time you’re going to do it a little differently. You see, part of the problem is that up to now all of this marketing has been quite passive—another variable that usually creates a low result. It’s just like putting up a poster on a bulletin board or leaving a stack of cards in a café. There’s no “call to action“, no opportunity for actual connection to engage the potential client. So you need to continually vary or adjust your approach with some “active marketing.” In other words, talk directly with them. “What? You mean like on the phone?” The very same. What's so funny is that many coaches are, for some strange reason, afraid to make phone calls. But let's look at this. It's really no different, after all, than what you want to do with them as a coach, right? As a coach, you want to talk with them, learn about what they're struggling with, explore their Values and their Passions, help them move to their next step. Well, as I mentioned earlier, that's all that this phone call has to be. You're not selling them anything, you're simply connecting with them and offering them an opportunity, in fact the very opportunity that they may have been looking for and didn't know where to go. The basic rule of thumb is if you leave it in their lap, it’ll stay in their lap. Remember, you’re swimming against the tide of their comfort zone, and sitting back and waiting for them to make the first move is not going to create powerful results. In order for you to start building the business that a powerful coach would have, you need to start BEing a powerful coach. So, for

83 Remember all those emails you haven't replied to as well?

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 122 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org those individuals who received your invitation that you have phone numbers for, follow up your second email with a simple phone call. Check to see if they got your message and let them know that Mama always said, "Clients are you’re just following up to see if they have any questions about like a box of chocolates. You never coaching or what you're offering. Do your best to answer their queries, know what you're gonna get." and remind them of what you’re doing and how exciting it is for you (don’t be afraid to show your excitement, it can be infectious.) Finally, ask if they would be interested in a sample session to learn more about your coaching. (They can’t say “Yes” if you don’t ask.) “What if they say no?” Then thank them and move on to the next call. Even better, ask them what the reasons or objections may be. If it's only a matter of something that was not conveyed clearly, then take a moment to clear it up. And then ask again. In fact, if it's anything that you can adjust and design with them right then and there—do it. (“The price is too high”? Well then, what price would BOTH of you agree on? “I wouldn’t know what to talk about?” Quickly explore the Wheel of Life with them.) Many times people say “no” for the simplest of reasons (and where else are those “easy excuses” impacting their lives?) and sometimes it's just an automatic reaction to the idea of change. (Don't forget, they have their Saboteurs, too, who would like nothing more than to keep them stuck where they are). Above all, please remember, you’re in training. And this is essentially intended to be a win-win partnership.84 Most likely you’re not even charging standard rates, but have flexible and adjustable rates; they may just need to know the details. If you’re feeling unsure about how to handle these calls and are uncomfortable with the idea of having to “sell” yourself as a coach, don’t be. Remember, you’re not selling them anything, you’re asking them for help. And although they haven’t (yet) hired you as their coach, and, therefore, you can’t really coach them, you can certainly BE a coach when talking with them. That means BEing Curious, using Deep Listening. Finding out what they’re struggling with or are frustrated with or what in their life is not to their complete satisfaction. Think of what you’re doing, here on the phone with them, as a kind of “Coaching Lite.” Again, if you’d like more information as to how to do this more effectively, you should know by now that there is a whole section on my website (www.bedo.org) that recommends plenty of audio programs, books, and additional courses that can help grow your “Sales Success.” Simply put: Asking the prospective client about themselves and their lives, while you are BEing the coach that you already authentically are (remember your Personal Empowering Phrase), will likely begin to uncover and illuminate for them the very issues that they’ll be hiring you for. It’ll “wake” them up to the fact that they need some help, and even more importantly, begin to recognize the benefit of working with you. 85 The other important thing to remember is that this kind of interaction will feel inauthentic and “ooky” only when your client doesn’t feel like they have the option to say “no.” So make sure that they have that option. It’ll feel less forced, less manipulative, and less like you’ve got them trapped and squirming—and will feel, to them, as well as to you, more inviting, spacious, and, yes, empowering.

84 Any other variation (“win/lose”, “lose/win”, or “lose/lose”) is not acceptable, and will always result in a “lose/lose”, which means both of suffer. Also, don't assume that “Win/Win” means that they're you're client. It means that you're both satisfied with the results. You could “Win/Win” and they still didn't take advantage of your offer, but you got some great feedback on how to do it better next time, or they agree to pass you on to their friends, or any number of outcomes. Some of my best “Wins” had nothing to do with getting a client. 85 I can't stress this enough. If you can shift your programming on this from “Crap I'm trying to sell them something, how inauthentic and slimy” to “I've got something of value to offer and people need my help. They won't know where to find it unless I tell them”, then you're on your way.

Assume that there is always the option to say “No.”86 If you don't provide it, the client will create it (or more correctly put, their Saboteur will). And then, since it's their creation, they'll go with it. Every time. Besides, their “No” isn't interested in any “Win/Win” outcome, it's interested solely in “let's get the heck out of here.” or “this isn't for you,” or “there's no problems that you're struggling with,” or the many other limiting reactions that instantly shut down not only our clients, but our interaction with them. So the best way to avoid their automatic “No” is to instead give them a “No” of your own to consider. One that would leave you both in a “Win/Win” outcome. Remember, though, this is only a “follow-up” phone call, you’re not actually coaching them. So it really shouldn’t require more than 5 or 10 minutes. If it becomes obvious to them that they’re needing any more than that, then what a great way to suggest that the two of you set up an appointment so you can explore this matter a little further and see whether coaching might be what they need. You’re not actually in the Sales stage yet, however, you’re still in Marketing. Your main purpose at this point is just in trying to build their interest in your product. Sales begins when they express an interest in your offer of a “sample“ session. “Yeah, and what if they do want to schedule a sample session? What do I say next?” Sometimes that option can be even freakier to consider. But it's not so freaky if you simply break it down into simple, small steps. For us to easily do that, let's take a look at what happens on the phone.

THE ANATOMY OF A PHONE CALL Remember I mentioned the two major reasons why people purchase—emotions and a glimpse of what’s possible. You can also look at it this way: Your clients will buy your services because they desire, and now glimpse the possibility of, one of two outcomes—to get away from something (pain), or to move towards something (pleasure). Either way, you’ve already got material to work with. Again, instead of “Selling”, think of what you’re doing as “Coaching-Lite,” because that’s all you need to focus on. WHAT YOU ARE NOT DOING TO COACH... OR NOT TO COACH.  Selling. That is the question. Sometimes it may take more than the 10 or 15  Explaining what coaching is. minutes you’ve allotted for the follow-up call to  Sharing your Personal Empowering Phrase come to an agreement to have a coaching relationship. (they won’t get it the way you do). In that case, resist the urge to rush to completion  Listing the benefits of coaching. (don’t forget about skipping steps.) Instead, take this opportunity to schedule another  Telling them anything about what you think follow-up call, one where you can explore in more they should do. detail what’s possible. The added bonus of this is unconsciously they  Trying to “Get them”. might begin to experience a coaching relationship with you before you even actually begin. WHAT YOU ARE DOING  Listening.  BEing a space for them to experience your coaching, the emotions they’re feeling, and the idea of what might be possible for them if they work with you. Let them do all the work.

86 The law of opposites. For every possible “Yes” there has to be a possible “No.” It's like the heads and tails of a coin. You can't possibly separate them.

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 Having them BE and feel seen and heard.  Coaching (as you already know and have been trained to do. Nothing more, nothing less.) Basically, your Sample Session call should break down into a few simple steps 1) First, if you’re not familiar already, spend a little time getting to know each other. Let them know the plan for the call and remind them that this is just a sample call to see if you both are a good fit for future coaching.87 Be up front with them and let them know at the end of the call, if you think it’s appropriate, you’ll ask them to be your practice client. 2) Ask the client to share the issue that they want to talk about. (Always important to have a clear topic and focus.) If they need a little help clarifying, simply direct them to pick an area in their life that’s not to their complete satisfaction, and then ask them what would boost their satisfaction and fulfillment. 3) Use your coaching skills to listen for what's really going on with the client. Most of your clients will come to you with some sort of little agenda—something they think they want to do, an action they wish they could take on, or an issue they’re struggling with. Listen and use your intuition to reveal what the bigger picture might be. It might be about self-expression, it could be about stepping into their own power or responsibility, or maybe it’s the need to love themselves. Whatever it is, if you can recognize it, great. That’ll help. And don’t worry if you can’t. HOMEWORK? Just do a little “lite coaching” the way you know You betch'a. Even though you're not their how. coach and there's no follow-up call established it's another way to keep them 4) When your client says something that connects engaged in the “coaching conversation”. with one of your own Values or Strengths You could even schedule a quick (remember your Personal Empowering Phrase?), “accountability call” so they can make a mental note of that. It’s important and experience more about the power of your could come in handy later on. coaching and what's possible for them in working with you. In other words, just 5) Limit your “lite coaching” on the phone with them because you're not yet their coach, doesn't to 15 or 20 minutes. You don’t need to give them mean that you can't show up as the coach the whole experience, and you certainly don’t need that you are. On the contrary, by showing up fully as the coach that you are, you'll be to get them to a major transformation and life much more engaging. That's why we're change.88 All you’re doing in this call is giving doing all this P-E-P work, to help you them a taste of what it would be like to work with discover and reveal your coaching self. you. In fact, that’s a great way to end your coaching portion of your call. Say something like, “Well, if I were your coach, and we were continuing on with this, we’d go in this direction (or I’d ______with you, or your homework might be ______.)” and tell them honestly what you would say or do if they were a real client. But remember—and here’s the trick—you’re not actually asking them or working with them, you’re simple telling them what you would do, if they were a continuing client. Remember, they need to know what’s possible for them.

87 This is as much your call as it is theirs. This is a coaching relationship, and for it to work, you both have to be willing participants. Recall those past relationships that you've been involved where one wanted to be in it and the other one didn't. Uncomfortable, huh? Well, you get to avoid that conflict from the get-go. Remember, if the client doesn't feel right, then you don't have to take them on (regardless of what your Saboteur is telling you.) 88 Part of what helps create the client's change is their own investment. They have something at stake. Either it's their time, money, or bartered services, but they have brought something to the table to keep them engaged and moving. And that comes when they hire you.

After you’ve done all those steps, be sure that you listen for their reaction, whether your “this is what we’d do” lands with them or starts to stir them up, that could be an indication that they are seeing value in working with you and might be an open invitation for you to ask them to be your client. In any event, at the end of the coaching and “how we’d continue”, now’s the time to close the deal. “But how? I mean it feels so uncomfortable and intrusive and manipulative.” Well. I’m sure it does, however, there’s a few things to remember that might help ease that. First off, don’t forget that this all has come about because you initially asked them for help. So they are on this call, answering your request. They are here for you. We can assume that they are supportive in what you’re doing and are on your side. (They are not the enemy.) So in a sense, all you’re doing is providing a specific opportunity for them to continue to help… by being your client. Secondly, remember that if you don’t ask, then it really hinders your chance of getting a “yes.” Consider going to “Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn“. You walk up to the counter and the sweet girl, Pam, smiles at you and says, “Welcome to Bennie’s Big Bad Bodacious Burger Barn. How can I help you?” Well, she’s there to help you right? However, if you don’t tell her what you want, then she’s not going to be able to give it to you (unless Bennie is hiring psychics). Ah, but if you simply tell her that you want the Paprika Pickle burger, then she can fill that need. Likewise, you have a need for a practice client, and they can fill that need. If you are willing to ask for help, they might be willing to give it. Conversely, if they have expressed a need for something on your “coaching lite“ follow-up call, then you get to fill it as well. I remind you that at this point you are not focusing on building a business. You are still in Stage One, meaning you need practice clients to help you learn more about your coaching “product”. Finally, it’s only manipulative if you’re trying to hide something and trick them. By being up front in the beginning, and by being clear and honest with them at the end, there is no manipulation. As long as they know they have the option to say “no”, then there is no manipulation. And it doesn’t have to be some deep and clever phrase. Really, the simpler the better. “Would you like to be my client?” “Would you like to continue coaching and focus on those things (that you just mentioned you would do if you continued.)” “How do you feel about working together?” “How would you like to continue?” And you can even tell them, “I would like to be your coach. I think we’re a good fit, and I’m excited about the direction that we could go with our coaching. How do you feel about that?” (Actually, there is a fourth thing to remember: by asking them they get to feel invited, wanted, appreciated, and valued. Who doesn’t want that?) “But what if they say “no”?” If, after connecting with each other, you discover you want to work with them and they don’t want to work with you, then what a great opportunity to learn more about your client. Continue BEing a curious coach and inquire as to what issue might be getting in the way or what questions they might have, or what is still unclear. You’re not selling them, and you’re not coaching them on the issue, you’re just being curious. Turning down your services isn’t personal—it isn’t turning down YOU. And you’re not trying to convince them or “break them” or work them over, you’re simply getting more information that will help you grow and be more prepared on your next call. (See? Even in this instance of them

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 126 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org saying “no” there’s still a benefit.) Maybe it’s something simple that can easily be cleaned up or clarified right there on the call. It could be that they simply misunderstood something that was said or a particular question wasn’t answered clearly. Well, this is your time to be “coach-like” and handle it simple and easily. And if they’re truly not interested in continuing on, then be willing to let them go. Not everyone wants, needs, or is ready for a coach, and not every client is a perfect fit. They may have responded to your email and called not really knowing what coaching was or what you were really offering. Or perhaps they called simply as a favor to you and they didn’t want to hurt your feelings, or whatever the reason. Now they have a better idea about your coaching, and it may not feel like it’s what they’re needing at that moment. You’re much better off having a pleased sample-session customer who is not continuing but will likely tell their friends about you in a positive light than by having someone who felt pressured and coerced. They weren’t your client in the first place, so nothing has really changed. Well, almost nothing. “Yeah, but all that time will have been wasted. And I still don’t have a client out of it.” Consider this. True, you didn’t get a client, but in the process you’ve actually just created a FREE marketing partner (Ever heard of word-of-mouth advertising?). That’s right. If they’ve left your call with a good taste of what you offer, and you’ve encouraged them to connect you with their circle of friends, you’ve transformed your “sales failure” into additional passive, and potentially active, marketing. So thank them for their time and let them know that you’d really appreciate it if they would pass the word about you and your coaching along to five of their friends (a specific call to action). Ideally, you want to get their friend’s contact information so you can follow through on your own (you don’t want to leave it in their hands completely, otherwise it’ll usually be a dead end) and be sure to ask permission to send your invitation to their friends. Since your non-client knows that you’ll be contacting them, you might suggest that they get in touch with their friends first to tell them who you are and what you do—remind them to mention your special discount offer if you have one—and let them know they will be hearing from you in a few days. This way it’ll feel less “unsolicited” and “out of the blue”, because now when you contact them, these people will associate you with their friend. Think of it as like when someone says, “Go down to Mama Lucci’s Pasta House. Ask for Mama Lucci, and tell her I sent you. She’ll take care of you.” But don’t let your intermediary stick this on their “to do” shelf. Ask them if they would please make a point of doing this in the next three days. (Another clear and specific opportunity how they can help you and a Call to Action). If you leave it open ended, your non- client will leave it open-ended, too, and then things get fuzzy. You want to keep this clean and hot while you’ve got the momentum. Also (and this makes it even juicier), by having your non-client contact them, that’s already covered the “first contact” step of the Exponential Marketing Matrix where this new prospect is concerned, meaning that when you contact them for the first time, it will actually be just like it was your first follow-up call (remember, 3-to-7 contacts, or “touches”, are highly recommended to produce exponential results) thereby further boosting your chances of Finding Your First Five Clients! Then thank them for their help, and let them go. Clearly they were not to be your client. But think of their willingness to talk with you as serving another function. Remember how I said this was a numbers game? Well, this is part of the game. Not everyone that you have a sample session with, on the phone or in person, will instantly become a client. Instead of listing this lost call as a “failure”, take a moment to write down the successes you DID experience on the call. For example: You managed to engage them in a conversation about coaching. You got them to stop and think about problems with moving forward that they may be having in their

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 127 of 155 life. You got them to agree to pass your offer on to somebody else you would otherwise have no way of reaching—and with a personal recommendation—and to agree to call you back. Stop and take another moment—to take this all in. Repeat your successes aloud to yourself. Then say each one again, taking a slow deep breath as you do, as through you were literally “breathing in” each of these realizations. Because you are. Pat yourself on the back. Client or no, you done good. Then, and only then, take stock of what didn’t work or felt awkward. Where did you stumble or feel uneasy about saying something? What was missing? Where did you need to shut up, or speak? If you could go back to the call and start over, knowing what you know now, what would you do differently this time? This step is important—put these realizations in the form, not of failures, but of lessons learned. How would you handle each of these points differently next time? This series of steps is extremely important to your growth, both as an effective marketer/salesperson for your business, as well as a coach. This whole little exercise, repeated after each call, will increase confidence by building your mastery of the process and each of its elements. Remember: Skipping steps creates overwhelm. Taking the time to review what you know and what you have learned, and how you are going to handle each of these elements on your next call, reinforces your mastery of these new skills. Just as with Marketing, Sales is a whole ’nother monster to master. It takes practice to get good at this, as with anything, and I’ve really only gone over the basics. But simply put, as with everything else in this book, the more you do it, the easier it gets. Don’t forget that and you’ll be just fine. 89 In other words, to summarize everything we’ve been saying here, the real function of this call was to help you get better at this for when you DO talk with that customer that is ready to be your client. And now you get to carry that lesson forward with each following call you make. Even through this person may not become your client, you’re using this call to learn to grow and more confident with your sample calls. The main thing to remember is: if you see that “no” call as a failure, you’re reinforcing your old negative programming and diminishing your energy for growing and learning and all that stuff that we talked about earlier. But if, instead, you choose to see each and every “no” call as an opportunity or a stepping stone, then it will be that. It's all there to help you grow stronger and stronger. See? That time on the phone was only wasted if you say it was. Great. I got it. Learning. Growing. But what if they say ‘yes’?” Yeah, I know. Sometimes that option is even more frightening than if they just refused your coaching.

89 And you can also visit my website. Yeah, I know you know the address. But if you go there, you can download a simple worksheet to guide you through the post-call process.

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If the client says anything along the lines of “I would love to work with you, how much do you charge?” simply state your fee and let them know in what form you accept or prefer payment (credit card, paypal.com, personal check). If you do take credit cards, get the number right then and there so that the client is committed. Then schedule your first session. No sense putting it off. Get it all locked in and ready to roll. But by all means, don’t leave it in their lap to get back to you when they’re ready. All you're doing is making their Saboteur in charge of that call. And if that's the case, then you know that phone won't ring. Even if they don’t want to start up for a few weeks or even months, schedule your next session or intake right away. Make sure you get some sort of commitment from them before you hang up, otherwise, even though they’ve said “yes”, you’re giving them permission to get squirrelly and let it slide. You also will be sending the subliminal message that you don’t really see your coaching as valuable or important enough to stick with it. And that’s not the impression you want to leave your new client with. “Great, so now I know how to handle whatever they say when we talk on the phone. But what do I do if they’re not home when I call? Do I leave a message? And how many times do I call them before I start to get annoying?” Wow, yet another fantastic question. You’re getting real good at this. “Thank you.” You’re welcome. To be clear, there really isn’t a specific rule of thumb on this. Should you call only once and leave a message? WHAT’S YOUR FEE?: Should you call over and over again until you finally get It's a good idea to have all your details them? My answer is (and you may not like this) whatever planned out beforehand. You can even have your comfort level is. I would say call and leave a all the questions written out so you can easily message at least once. Of course if you know the person, refer to it when needed. Perhaps even take some time to practice speaking your fee with a it won’t seem as intrusive and uncomfortable for you. few people (friends and fellow coaches) to get Leaving a chatty message normally wouldn’t be used to saying that number connected to your something that you would do with a total stranger (which, coaching. It’s kind of unattractive to hear the if you’re doing this right, there should be some of on your coach stumble over their value and worth. mailing list). But remember that you’re not popping up Your client will be more interested in hiring a confident coach, not a “perfect, knows completely out of the blue. Most likely a good percentage everything there is to know” coach. And the of the people who are getting this follow-up call will at first thing to be clear about is what it costs to least have “seen” your email messages. They might even work with you. (How much should you actually have read it as well (Go back to the “Exponential charge? Check back at the Common Marketing Matrix“) Questions section.)

What tends to help is that you have a short and simple script WHAT DO I SAY?: to follow. Something like, “Hi, this is _(your name) calling to A great little exercise is to call yourself follow-up on an email I sent a few days ago.” Tell them briefly and leave yourself the message that you what you’re doing, and that you’re looking for clients to help— would leave with a perspective client. basically everything that you’ve already stated in your previous Then go back and listen to it. Would emails. Keep it brief, no more than 30 seconds long. While it you be compelled to call back? If so, then chances are you've got a winner. can be tempting to tell them everything they need to know on Keep it and use it. the message, you want to just convey the essential information. If you're actually boring yourself, that's a pretty good sign that the others listening to it (if they actually get that far) will be bored, too. And if they're Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, bored,available they at www.bedo.org will be less engaged and interested to call back. (What another great opportunity to use your fellow coaches to practice with Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 129 of 155

You can go into a little more detail in your follow-up email, and even more detail when they call you back. Make sure that you request that they call you back, and be extra sure to leave your number clearly and easy for them to write down, perhaps even repeat it. Yes, I know that it was included in your emails, but you want to make this as easy as possible for them, and if they have to go looking for your information, they’ll most likely let it slide. You can even mention that since you know they’re busy, if you don’t hear back from them you’d be happy to follow-up in a few days. When you call back, you might try to do it at a different time of day than the first call. If they’re still not there, then you know what to do. How many times? It’s a tricky call. Typically, if they don’t return your call after three messages, chances are they aren’t interested or it’s not on their priority list. Sure, there might be the chance that they are just busy or out of town or some other reasonable explanation as to why they didn’t respond, and all you need to do is get in contact with them and it’s a lock in. However, you don’t really know that. And considering that you don’t really have a solid relationship with them (if you did, then you’d probably already know why they’re not responding, or you’d know how many times you can leave a message, right?) you don’t want to wear out your welcome. The safest bet is to follow the rule of “threes”. You’re doing that with your emails, right? (Initial sending, Follow-up email #1, and Follow-up email #2), you’re just breaking it up with a phone call. So your best bet is to follow the same format and limit yourself to three phone calls, giving you a total possible of six “touches” or communications. And since it usually takes anywhere from 3 to 7 “touches” before people respond, you’re right in the ball park. 90 There is also the possibility of over saturation, and thereby causing a negative reaction, which is what you don’t want to do. Coaching is meant to be a positive experience. Of course your approach can vary depending on your own sense of boundaries and your prior relationship with the people on your list. As long as you don’t let your own fears and ego take over and you’re calling them every day, desperate to “get them”. Then it becomes about you and your needs. Coaching is all about the client and their needs. I know it can be frustrating to have to assume a “no”, but at this stage in the game it’s better to play it safe. Remember, you’re still in Stage One, which means that you’re developing your product and your skills. This includes your Marketing, Networking, Sales, and general boundaries. All of these areas are in the process of being discovered and strengthened. Once you’ve gotten a clear grasp of the basics of these skills—you’re starting to feel confident in spreading the word, interacting with prospective clients, you’re learning more about your clients and your coaching—then it’s time to move on to Stage Two.

90 And if we follow the Exponential Marketing Matrix, working between the range of 20% to 50% of conversion to the “next step”, your final “feel it and call” number increases anywhere to a potential 5 to 27 clients calling you. Not bad for leaving a message.

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But that comes after you first have followed this system faithfully, found your first five clients, and gotten yourself on your way down your coaching path. And, as I keep illustrating in so many different ways, it’s a matter of taking one step at a time, first things first. “Ok, I got this. It’s all clear. I just have one more question about this follow-up phone call business. You told me to send out my message to everyone I know, including though social media. That could end up being several hundred people. Are you saying that I should call up all of them?” Well, consider this. Not only will following all the steps of this system help you Find Your First Five Clients, but these actions will also be strengthening your Marketing Muscle. “My Marketing Muscle? What are you talking about?” Well, I mean, metaphorically speaking. And right now, I’m guessing that it’s probably pretty weak and could use some attention. Think of this like going to the gym. There, you’re lifting weights and burning cardio and strengthening your body in a relaxed and safe environment. You’re surrounded by friends who are helping you out and cheering you on. Perhaps you’ve even got a “coach” with you to help you out. And the best part is there are no huge consequences if you make any mistakes. You get to catch yourself, correct your course, readjust your focus, and move on. (And remember, that’s how you get stronger, right?) Now, compare this to when you’re playing the “big game” or running the marathon. There’s really no room for error and the pressure is on you to perform perfectly That can be a lot like when we’re in Stage Two and our income is relying on how well we Market and Sell ourselves. If we do it right, we get clients and money, and when we make any mistake—any single, small, minor mistake—we’ve potentially lost a client, and therefore income, reputation, momentum, and business.

TO FEE OR NOT TO FEE... THAT IS THE QUESTION. Whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the ookyness and uncomfortability of asking for outrageous rates, or to take on any client pro bono thus gaining no income. And either way, by working with them, to coach. To coach, perchance to change the world. Aye, there's the rub. For in that coaching what dreams may come when we have shuffled off to Buffalo. Clever, huh? “Yeah, I get it. You've played off the classic Hamlet soliloquy. Care to make sense of it so I can use it?” Well... in other words. While you may be torn as to what's the “right” thing to do, the better question is to ask yourself what you need to do right now. Remember, you're in Stage 1, which is all about just getting started... any way you can. Charging fees and building a big booming business is more for when you're in Stages 2 and 3. So do whatever feels right for you. If you want to charge, then charge what feels right. And if you want to barter, then barter. And if you want to coach for free, that's ok too. Of course, ideally, you'll want to suggest to your client that you charge something, even if it's only $5. Remember what is Sales— that's right, an agreed upon transaction of value. If there's no transaction of value, then you can consider that this is not necessarily a Sale. And even though you're still in Stage 1, you want to begin safely working your Sales muscle. Besides, this way they get to invest in themselves. And the value they place on the coaching, suggests the value that they place on their commitment to themselves. And you can always adjust your rates later on, when it feels right. “Thanks for clarifying. But didn't you already use that picture earlier on in the book?” Sure, but don't tell anyone. It'll just be our little secret.

The actions are basically the same—emails, marketing, follow-up, etc.—however, as you can see, the stakes are higher, and therefore the pressures increase. This is partly why I keep insisting that this is the easiest Stage to be in. Right now you’re sending your emails and reaching out and contacting people who already know and support you. There’s quite a considerable margin for error and forgiveness for mistakes. And not only that, there’s also considerably more appreciation and celebration. And when you’re ready to step into Stage Two, you’ll be more used to this process and that “marketing freak out” Saboteur will be less likely to jump in and hijack the process. But for now go for it. Send out your invitation, request help, and Find Your First Five Clients! And just to help you a little bit more, I’m going to offer you one last little adjustment.

THE G.I. PERSPECTIVE “What? G.I.? You mean like in the military?” Nope. “You can’t be referring to anything gastro intestinal.” Nope. “The Glycemic Index? Galvanized iron? The Gestalt Institute? General Interface? Gi, the alternative name for the Mayan god Chaac?”91 Not a single one. “Well, for the love of Pete, would you just tell me what the heck you’re talking about?” Sure. The G.I. Perspective refers to this current stage of marketing that you’re in. If you are currently in Stage One of Marketing, which is all about Getting To Know Your Product (which you are because you’re reading this book), then what stage would your target group most likely be in that would be getting your Stage One Marketing? “Um, Stage One too, I guess.” No. Not Stage One Two. That would be silly. That’s Stage Twelve, and we are so far away from that stage. I don’t even know myself what the Marketing Stage Twelve would be. “Stop doing that. You know I mean, ‘Stage One, ALSO.’” Ah. Yes. Well, in that case, then you’d be correct. If you are in Stage One, then your target audience is also in Stage One. What does that mean? Simply put (as I’ve mentioned in a few different ways throughout this book), your Stage-One clients will become your R&D team and help you learn more about your coaching. The more you work with them, the more you’ll get deeper clarity on the benefits that your coaching brings. You’ll get to identify who your ideal clients are—which ones you work well with and which ones you don’t. You’ll discover what type of coaching and in which conversations in which you really light up. All the while, honing and refining your coaching identity. “Yeah, I got that from what you said before. But what’s all this G.I. stuff about?”

91 All things I discovered the initials stand for when I looked up GI on the internet.

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G.I. stands for “Generating Interest”. That’s the true purpose and intent of your Stage One Marketing actions. Remember, at this point it’s not about building business and making lots of money—that comes WANT AN EXAMPLE OF THIS? later when you transition into Stage Two: Building a Contact me at [email protected] or 630- Business. For now, your primary energy and focus is to 484-2336 for a complementary call. “Generate Interest”. This is all about your learning these skills so you can be comfortable and When you Generate Interest in your coaching, that confident in doing it yourself and Finding translates into clients. Think about it. If they are interested Your First Five Clients, and sometimes just in you and what you are offering, then they’ll likely want experiencing them can be a great way to more, right? So by following this marketing plan, you’re learn. Even though we'll be going through the sample call/sales process, there's no really Generating Interest in your coaching and attracting obligation (unless you decide to continue). clients.

“Hm. I see your point.” But wait, there’s more. What about all those people that you market to whose interest in being a client is not generated? In fact, let’s look back at the categories that we identified in the Multiple Marketing Matrix some pages back. The “Generating Interest in your Coaching” really only accounts for the final percentage who contact you. What about the other groups? Wouldn’t it be great if you could “Generate Interest” in them as well? On this estimated scale, we can assume that at first 50% of the people you send to will not be interested and not open your email. Considering that they won’t even open it, we can pretty much bet that you won’t be able to Generate Interest, no matter how good you are. So we won’t even worry about them. However, if we see that there will be a percentage who will open your email, that’s the other 50%, a pretty exciting number to work with. If we subtract the 1.25% who will (according to this formula) contact you, then that means that a cool 48.75% of the people who you reach out to will be interested in you and your coaching, but not enough to be your client. If that’s the case, then they can be part of your team. “My team? You mean like, ‘Siss-Boom-Bah’?” You betcha. You know, they get to be those people who tell their co-workers, “Say, by the way, my friend is doing this coaching thing, and he’s looking for clients. You should give him a call.” Or they might say to their other family or friends, “Speaking of that stuff your frustrated with or that thing you want to create in your life, you should talk with my friend. She’s a Life Coach and could probably help you with that. She’s really quite good.” Or maybe they’ll just say to you, “Hey (insert your name here), how’s that coaching thing going?” However it goes, the important thing is that you’re not alone, and that you have a team of people who know and love you and are wanting your success and even more importantly, would love to help you somehow, some way, either as a client or as a cheerleader, or as a client hunter, or as a brainstormer, or just as a caring family member or friend. And it’s not about “Getting Clients” any more. It’s about Generating Interest to build your R&D team as well as your support network. And lastly, it’s also about Generating Interest in you. “Me?”

That’s right. Sure, you’re most likely excited and enthusiastic now, but I can tell you that will begin to recede at some point—either when it comes time to actually send out your email and posting, or perhaps when you don’t get the expected and desired results that first time out (don’t forget to follow the advice on your shampoo bottle: “repeat if necessary”) or somewhere else down the line. However, because this Stage is not about Building Business, but about Generating Interest, that means there’s really no pressure, right? If you’re not focusing on “Getting Clients” but about Generating Interest, then how much more easier is that? “Are you sure that’s proper grammar?” Doesn’t matter. Am I right? “Well, yeah. I mean, I know that I’m so excited about what I’m doing that I know I can pretty easily Generate Interest of some sort.” Of course you can. And that’s all that you need to do at this stage. Just share your enthusiasm. Share yourself and your P-E-P. Ask for help and make it easy for those who want to support you to do so. You see? It really is just that easy. (Remember, I told you this was the easy stage.) And that’s why we call it Generating Interest, because the Interest is being created by you. You are the ultimate source. (And remember that Law of Attraction we explored earlier, along with all those other laws? If you Generate Interest about your coaching in yourself, and you put it out there authentically and freely, you will begin to attract… nay, dare I say, Generate Interest of your coaching in others, and on it goes.) Lastly, I’ll remind you of what you marked down at the beginning of this book—when did you want to start Finding Your First Five Clients? Well, I could just as easily put it these other ways: When do you want to commence sharing yourself as a coach? When do you want to begin building relationships? When do you want to start spreading the word? When do you want to get in action and generate interest in your coaching? When do you want to initiate a way to impact the world? When do you want to create connection with other people who are needing help and wanting to help? When do you want to find those first five people who are going to help you discover and define yourself as a coach? When do you want to truly step into BEing the coach that you truly are and that the world needs you to BE? If that when is NOW, then you have got all that you need. It’s time to wind up this book so you can go out there and begin powerfully, awesomely, and confidently Finding Your First Five Clients!

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 134 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org SO TO RECAP… HERE’S THE 5-STEP SYSTEM FOR FINDING YOUR FIRST FIVE CLIENTS!:92 1. Discover your own limiting beliefs and bust out beyond them. 2. Decide what Stage you are in to reveal your best marketing strategy. 3. Declare your Coaching Purpose. 4. Distill your Top 5 Power Words. 5. Send a letter to each and every freaking person that you know. Repeat as needed to get the results you want. (And Step 5.5, get ready to start scheduling calls for people who are curious and want to help.) But wait, let’s make it even easier. How about a clear-cut day-by-day structure that you can follow so that each and every day, for the next two weeks, you know exactly what you’re doing?93

YOUR SIMPLE, EASY-TO-FOLLOW, TWO-WEEK SCHEDULE Day 1: (That’s today) Read this book You should have already done this but it's good to have it as part of the plan. And if that's the case, congratulations. You can already check this off as “Completed”. If, however, you are skipping ahead, you might want to allow an extra few days or so to go back and read the material first before you get into action. You’ll have much more knowledge to support your actions. And don't just let yourself skim along and get little bits of information here and there. Do yourself a favor and take the time to complete all the written exercises in this book so you have plenty of material to work with. It won't take that long. Be fair and give yourself at least an hour to focus on yourself and do the work. (If you can’t do it now, you’re going to have a harder time giving yourself time when you really need it. So you might as well start strengthening that muscle now. You’ll thank yourself later.) Day 2: Take some time to craft your letter. This is something you don’t want to rush. If it looks thrown together, it’ll read thrown together. Be sure to follow the steps above and include as much wonderful information as you can, but keep it succinct and simple. No more than 250 words, otherwise it’s too long for an email and will more easily be skipped over. (Again, send it to your coach or a trusted close friend to look it over and give you honest feedback. In a pinch, you’re welcome to send it to me at [email protected] and I’ll give my thoughts and tweaks, no obligation.) Day 3: Send your first email to every single email address that you have. Even if you don’t know who they are. (You never know where you’re going to find your next client.) Day 4: Take a break. You’ve earned it. Focus on something else. Give your email a chance to do its work. Day 5: Depending on how many people you send out to, you may wish to begin making some follow-up phone calls now to start working down the list. You’ll want to contact those closest to you first. If nothing else, this will serve as a reminder to pass on your message.

92 This is exactly how it was listed at the beginning of this book. But notice how it reads much differently this time. 93 The other benefit of this plan is that you begin to practice the art of “Every day doing something to work on your business.” This is a great discipline to build, so you might as well start now.

Day 6: Send a follow-up email to EVERYONE, even those that you’ve already begun calling (unless they’ve already agreed to work with you). Change the wording a bit so it looks and feels different. Also mention that they’re running out of time and they need to respond in the next few days. Days 8 – 10: Follow up with the rest of your phone calls. Talk with them as though you already have your five clients (even if you don’t)—in other words, don’t sound desperate—and really get curious about them and their desires. Remind them that people don’t “need” coaching. Instead, they “want” coaching. Coaching is for those who want to take their lives to the next level. And if they don’t bring it up first, don’t forget to ask them if they would like try a complimentary sample session. They can’t say “Yes” if you don’t ask. Day 12: One more resend. By now, you’re most likely getting a bit of response. This last email is to nudge any of those stragglers who just keep forgetting, or that you hadn’t been able to reach over the phone. You want to up the urgency here. Indicate that there is only one slot open (even if there’s more, you want to create that feeling that they might be missing their chance) and that they need to reply by tomorrow. (Think about those late-night commercials “Call NOW, while supplies last.”) If these contacts don’t come through pretty quickly, most likely they’re not interested, or they won’t be of help to you. Occasionally you may get a call a few weeks later from someone who was just getting around to it. Let them know that you still have an opening if they’re interested and then proceed as normal. Day 14: If you haven’t already started, begin scheduling your sample sessions or your client sessions and begin coaching your new clients. And that’s it. By the way, if you’re one of those who peeked at the end of the book to get the quick answer, you might want to go back and go through all the foregoing material now. From your experience as a coach, you should know by now that quick fixes only cover up the issue temporarily, and the original problem still exists. And considering that this book is as big as it is, it’s a safe bet that there’s some really essential information that you could take advantage of. I mean, is the possibility of your discovering something powerful that will help you create a powerful foundation to your coaching practice worth a couple of hours of your time? If the answer is “no”, then I wish you the best with your coaching, because you’re going to have to devote much more time and energy than it would have taken to read the material offered here to build a business. (But then again, if you did read this book from cover to cover, you already knew that and are ready for action.) Those who have gone through the process outlined here completely and faithfully know now that, in order to learn how to get your first five clients, you have to learn how to market yourself. And in order to market yourself, you have to learn how to see yourself as a valuable product. And in order to see yourself as a valuable product, you first need to figure out what is in your way, and remove it so you can move forward, uncover your “gold” and let it shine. And now that you’ve done all this wonderful work of exploration and self-discovery, power words and benefits, it’s time for you to go out there and do it. Remember, the actual number of clients produced by this simple marketing strategy will vary depending on how many people you reach out to and contact, how you actually worded your letter and how you handle yourself on your calls (not to mention those things that you can’t really control, like the timing of it all and what’s happening on their end), but chances are extremely high that if you follow

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 136 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org each of these steps in their entirety, step by step, you will get a positive response that will result in an average of five clients. Don’t forget to follow up. And if for some crazy reason you don’t get at least one, remember my GUARANTEE and call me for a free month of coaching where we’ll target this issue more powerfully and personally so you’ll have more support in getting your First Five Clients. In fact, considering that you got this far in the book, I’ll extend the guarantee: If you did everything in its entirety, step by step, and you got fewer than three clients out of it, I’ll still back it up with a single coaching phone call to help make any adjustments for your second attempt. How about that? See? You’ve got nothing to lose, and absolutely everything to gain.

WRAPPING IT UP So you’ve done it. Wowwie-Zowie! You’ve made it through this entire book. And now you’ve got some pretty powerful tools—and awarenesses—with which to build a solid foundation for your coaching. Of course, I should point out that just because you’ve gotten this brilliant book, and you’ve successfully made your way though all the pages and its valuable content (actually, I guess it’s up to you to decide if that’s true, and if it works for you), there’s no guarantee that you’ll immediately have a powerful and successful coaching practice. You have to actually DO the work. Otherwise, this’ll just be another batch of “good things to know” that get lodged in your brain, and (if you’re not careful) can be turned to more material for your Saboteur to use against you. “Look at you, you loser. You wasted all that time reading that book and then nothing came of it. You’ll never get your first five clients, and you sure as heck will never reach beyond that and have a full practice and be a successful coach.” The truth is, that back in February of 2003, I was right where you are right now. I was flopping around, confused, excited, scared, determined, full of fear, and full of possibility. I learned many of the things that are in this book, but didn’t put all of these learnings into action. Some I did. Others I remembered later on and implemented. Now, I’ve got an exciting full-time practice, averaging over 20 clients consistently for the past few years and experiencing exponential growth year after year after year. But it’s not because I took this particular class, or listened to that audio seminar, or read the next amazing brilliant book, it’s because I took the information that I’ve laid out here and put it into action. That’s where you will meet with your success—by taking the tools and process I have provided you with in these pages in a simple and easy- to-grasp language, and then DOING it. I wish you the greatest success. I know that you’ll achieve it, just keep your focus on what you want, and keep yourself moving little by little, step by step, and before you know it, you’ll be there. In fact, let’s take a quick moment before we end and revisit that good old CONFIDENCE-O- METER and see where you are now. Remember, on a scale of 1 to 10—1 being something like, “Are you kidding? There’s no way I could possibly ever really coach anyone, let alone find a client” and a 10 being, “BRING IT ON!!!”, most likely you’re still

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 137 of 155 somewhere in between. But take a moment and write your number down. Don’t worry about remembering what you wrote before, we’ll compare in a second. For now, just write down the number that feels right to reflect the level of confidence you have for you and your coaching right now. “MY CONFIDENCE LEVEL WHEN IT COMES TO GETTING CLIENTS RIGHT NOW IS: ______” Great. Now before we compare this number with what you wrote down before, take a moment and just take in how it feels having this number. (Remember to breathe) In fact, write down a few words describing how you feel right now about your coaching and the process that you’re taking on. ______

______

Wonderful. Now go back to page 9 and note the number you first put down. How has it changed? Is your new number higher or lower? If it’s higher, then write down a few words as to what has changed for you. What’s different? ______

______

And if it’s lower, that’s cool too. Many times that doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ve gone backwards (though your nasty Saboteur sure wants to convince you you should), but more likely that your well has just gotten bigger. “What? What do you mean my well?” Here’s a simple exercise. Go to the kitchen and take out a glass of water and fill it to the level that you gave your confidence at the start of all this. If you initially identified it as a “5”, then fill your glass half way. A “9” would be almost full, and a “2” just a little bit. Find a large pitcher or bowl and pour that water from your glass into the pitcher or bowl. Now how full is it? Depending on the amount of water and the sizes of the glass and pitcher or bowl, I’m sure it looks like considerably less now. It’s the same amount of water, but it takes up less space in the larger container. In fact, fill the glass again with the same amount as before, and then add that to your new container. Did you reach the level of your initial confidence rating yet? Chances are you’ll actually have to fill your glass a few times to finally equal the level of that initial “5” or whatever level your number was. The same is true for your coaching. What it took to satisfy the criteria you had for your initial rating is much different than the understanding you bring to your new rating. So even if this new number is low, the meaning behind it has changed considerably. So take a moment and write down a few words as to what has changed for you. ______

______

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______

And know that this is just the beginning for you. As you continue to progress through your coaching development, keep checking in on your CONFIDENCE-O-METER and identify the number and think for a minute about how you arrived at that new number. And then keep moving down your path towards your success.

WHERE DO YOU GO FROM HERE? “Ok, thanks. So let's assume that I've done everything you said and I've found my first five clients. Then what? First off, I think that you should take a little time to celebrate this wonderful accomplishment. You've done something that you've never done before and you've every right to be proud. So go ahead, do a somersault or something.

Nicely done. Now, don't you feel better? I know I do. “I guess so. Now will you tell me what to do next?” All right. First off, as I mentioned at the beginning of this book, remember that this approach doesn't work well a second time. Remember, this method is not about building a solid and sustainable marketing platform, yet. You're not trying to “get” anyone to do anything, and you're not relying on your contacts to provide you with your success. This is merely a simple, yet effective, strategy to get you going in an empowered direction and help you Find Your First Five Clients!! Those same five clients who will in turn help you develop and discover the type of coach you are and the kind of clients you work well with, thereby clarifying your niche. Those same five clients that will help you strengthen your coaching skills and begin to reveal the benefits that you provide in your coaching. Those same five clients that will provide you with a growing list of proof that you can do it, that you can make an impact, that you can coach powerfully and beautifully. Those same five clients that will pave the way for more clients to come. Those same five clients that can give you testimonials of your coaching that you can use in your marketing.

Those same five clients that can pass you on to their friends and colleagues that are looking for the same results. Those same five clients that you found by working your “marketing muscle” in a very safe way. I mean, what can be safer than reaching out to your friends and family and asking for help? Those same five clients that will begin to clearly define you as the coach that you desire and deserve to be. It all begins here. And now that you've found your first five, it's time for you to begin stepping into Stage 2, which is starting to build your business. And when you're ready to do that, you might want to go back to my website and check out the list of recommended experts that offer powerful tools and techniques to move you to “the next step”. These are people that I've worked with and interacted with enough to know that they can offer you what you're needing to move above and beyond. Of course, which one you choose is up to you, and it depends on how each one's particular approach connects with you. In fact, pay attention to each one's own unique marketing style. Notice the ways that they grab your attention and have you see what might be possible working with them. (This way, you're already learning more even before you choose one. Awesome, right?) Above all, as you move on, I want to pass on these words to you. As you venture forward, you'll be continuing to learn new strategies and approaches to help you build your business, you'll be exploring new ways to express your coaching and spread the word to attract your clients. Many experts will tell you that you have to blog, or have a newsletter, or a killer website with keyword optimization, or constant social media presence. Your instructors will insist that you must write a newsletter, or a book, or lead workshops. You'll feel that if you don't have ads running in magazines and newspapers, you're not making appearances on the radio and speaking engagements, then you're not doing it right. The truth is, there are hundreds, if not tens, of different ways to market yourself—from clever email signatures to catchy refrigerator magnets, from high-up-in-the-sky writing to down-to-earth cold calling, and from billboards on the highway to wearing a sandwich board in the street. And all of them work... to some degree. What's critically important to always remember is that unless you connect with that mode of communication, it won't work. You have to be engaged by it. You have to feel that this method of marketing is something that fully allows you to express who you are and what you offer, and that you can stick with it consistently for at least 6 months if not longer. Stage 2 can be a long and challenging process, one that requires good structure and support. And if you don't enjoy doing whatever it is that you're doing, your viewers and readers will pick up on that. How attractive do you think that is? How effective do you think that will ultimately be? Have you ever read a newsletter written by someone who hates newsletters? Have you ever signed on to someone's blog that posts only once every three months, at best? Have you ever watched someone present a workshop who is uncomfortable with public speaking? That type of personal disconnect is brutal to any marketing system, and if that's the case, whatever you do will inevitably be powerfully IN-effective, and even counter-effective. “You mean they'll turn and run the other direction?” Something like that. However, if you're engaged in your activity, and you really enjoy it, and you're allowing yourself to shine through it, then others will naturally “read” that essence. They'll pick up on your enthusiasm and

For more coaching insight and support, sign up for my free newsletter, “BeDo Bits” at www.bedo.org Page 140 of 155 Enhance your coaching skills by joining the free “Coaching Skills Forum”. A free bi-monthly telecall for all coaches. More information at www.bedo.org energy and that's always attractive, right? Take a look at the newsletters, blogs, and workshops that you love reading and attending. Chances are those who are offering them also love doing them. (For a good example, you can refer to my own newsletter, BeDo Bits, or check out my teleclasses and workshops.) Since marketing is really about creating connection with your target market, then it is essential that you are connected to yourself. That's the only way that whatever approach you do choose will have any chance of success. You've got your PEP to begin with, and you get to keep finding new ways to explore and express yourself from there. In other words, (and keep this in mind, cause you can assume that since this is at the very end of this book, it just might be important), it's not so important as to what you DO, but who you BE when you are DOing it. If you choose to BE a powerful and exciting and engaging and connected and confident coach, then whatever actions you take on, you will be DOing them as a powerful and exciting and engaging and connected and confident coach. A coach who has Found their First Five Clients.

FINAL WORDS My last words of advice and guidance are this: Now that you know this information intellectually, the real results happen when you actually DO it. I know you know this, but it certainly bears repeating. Just like weight loss, money management, and all the work that we do in our coaching with our clients, all this talk and exploration and information can only go so far. Sure, this book opens the door, but you have to walk through. On the good side, this is the same thing that all your future clients will be struggling with and experiencing. And they'll need a partner in that journey to help them along the way. And that's you. So, too, will it be increasingly helpful in getting yourself going in this wonderful world of coaching if you have some help and support. This is where I can come in. I want to help you become the most confident and impactful coach that you can be. I know I can. I've done it before with many other coaches, and I'll continue to do it. I realize the challenge is that you might not know what's really possible from this point on. You might intellectually know, but you probably haven't had enough experience to help you truly know. So I'd like to extend a special extra bonus offer to you, the faithful and dedicated reader that you are. Let's be honest, as exciting and value-packed as this book is, it won't actually create the desired results for you. (Goodness knows, I wish it did.) This is something that you'll have to do on your own. Again, I know you know that. I also know that if it was just that easy to do on your own, you might have already done it. Of course, things are different now that you have all this extra information at your fingertips, but you still may have some old lingering and limiting habits and beliefs. The other slight drawback is that I've worked hard to make sure this information will apply to everyone who reads it, so that you will have every chance to get good value from these pages. I hope that's true. However, we all know that each and every person is different, and so sometimes need that extra little bit of personalization touch.

That's what I'm offering to you. Just for being a BeDo fan, and the reader of this book, you are entitled to a complimentary follow-up personalization call with me, to make sure that you're really getting even more value and benefit from this book. It's my way of locking in and assuring that you'll get even more than you paid for. I want you to get the absolute most out of this so that you can hit the ground running and begin building your coaching confidence and success (like you haven't started doing that already). So now that you're done, go and pick up the phone and call me (you definitely should know the number by know), or if you're at your computer, then email me (you'd better have this email address memorized), and let's schedule that complimentary call for you. I'm happy to give you a whole hour. “A whole hour? Wow.” You betcha. But this offer won't last forever. I want to challenge you to take advantage of this now, while you're rocking in the coaching conversation, while you're in the groove and this information is still fresh and hot. In other words, don't put this off. Don't tell yourself that you'll do it later. Don't buy in to that last ditch effort from your Saboteur that may be telling you that “you can take it from here,” or “you don't need any help,” or “now's not the right time.” “Yeah, how did you know those phrases were starting to pop up?” I know because it's a very common reaction once we have taken an empowering step forward. We tend to step just over the line and then step back. I know because I have clients who do it all the time. I know because I've done it myself all the time. But what I also do know is, the only time IS now. If not now, then when? As you know, once you give in to that nasty and slippery bugger, it's that much easier to settle back into your old habits. And this book will just be another 140 pages packed with lots of neat ideas and insight and support and fun pictures sitting on your shelf. And all the information will be added to that already long list of the things that you know you should do... and maybe will one day, and probably won't. Your coaching is too important to let this slide. Your future clients are waiting for you. And they need you to find them. Someone asked me once if I could go back to when I was first beginning my coaching, and what would I tell myself then, knowing what I know now. I didn't hesitate for one moment, and I'll tell you what I would tell my own self, just starting out, looking for those First Five Clients... Play full out. Treat your coaching as though you were doing the “Hokey-Pokey.” You know how the song goes: “You put your whole self in. You put your whole self out. You put your whole self in, and you shake it all about. You do the Hokey-Pokey

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and you turn yourself around. THAT’S WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT.” Now go out there, put your whole self in, shake it all about, do what you know how to do, and BE what you know to be… And that’s A WONDERFUL, AMAZING, POWERFUL, IMPACTFUL, SKILLED, CONFIDENT, WORLD-CHANGING COACH!!!

Discover Coaching Confidence and 100% Certification Exam Success, available at www.bedo.org Visit my website www.bedo.org/coaches for more support in developing your Coaching Confidence, Skill Mastery, and Certification Exam Success Page 143 of 155 SHEETS & FORMS & INDEX ‘N’ STUFF Ok, now that we're done with all this, I thought you might like all those forms and charts and graphs once more so you can go use them again and again. You can also visit my website www.bedo.org for easy access to downloadable versions. And if you liked this book and found it helpful, then don't forget to fill out the feed-forward form at the end of this book so that I know what worked for you. Also, I'll be happy to use your wonderful words as a testimonial to let other coaches know that there's help out there in the form of this book. Also, take a look at the final page and see what other opportunities are available for you to grow your coaching success. And keep checking my website. You'll never know what new things are popping up. So now, on to the forms....

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MARKETING EXAMPLE #1 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______

MARKETING EXAMPLE #2 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______

MARKETING EXAMPLE #3 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______

MARKETING EXAMPLE #4 PRODUCT: ______STORY: ______TRIGGERED EMOTION: ______POSSIBILITY: ______

Empowering Phrase Discovery Grid VALUES STRENGTHS COACHING PERSONAL OTHER MY SKILLS BENEFITS BENEFITS COACHING

MY TOP FIVE WORDS 1. ______2. ______3. ______4. ______5. ______

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VERSION #1: ______VERSION #2: ______VERSION #3: ______

YOUR COACHING PASSION, ENERGY and PURPOSE "I love coaching because ______

______

PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE #1: ______

PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE #2: ______

PERSONAL EMPOWERING PHRASE #3: ______

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Tear out or print this page and write down your P-E-P or top Five words. Feel free to add any other words that you feel best describe your coaching, and then jazz it up with pretty colors, other images and anything else to make it exciting. Then post this wherever you coach so that you'll always remember who you are and what you offer.

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Exponential Marketing Matrix 50%

Will open Will see Will read Will feel and TOTAL Sent to your email your email your email respond PERCENTAGE

Initial email 100.00 50.00 25.00 12.50 1.25 1.25%

First follow-up 100.00 75.00 50.00 31.25 4.25 4.25%

Phone call 100.00 87.50 68.75 50.00 8.83 8.83%

Second follow-up 100.00 93.75 81.25 65.63 14.51 14.51%

Exponential Marketing Matrix 40%

Initial email 100.00 40.00 16.00 6.40 0.64 0.64%

First follow-up 100.00 64.00 35.20 17.92 2.37 2.37%

Phone call 100.00 78.40 52.48 31.74 5.31 5.31%

Second follow-up 100.00 87.04 66.30 45.57 9.33 9.33%

Exponential Marketing Matrix 30%

Initial email 100.00 30.00 9.00 2.70 0.27 0.27%

First follow-up 100.00 51.00 21.60 8.37 1.08 1.08%

Phone call 100.00 65.70 34.83 16.31 2.60 2.60%

Second follow-up 100.00 75.99 47.18 25.57 4.90 4.90%

Exponential Marketing Matrix 20%

Initial email 100.00 20.00 4.00 0.80 0.08 0.08%

First follow-up 100.00 36.00 10.40 2.72 0.34 0.34%

Phone call 100.00 48.80 18.08 5.79 0.89 0.89%

Second follow-up 100.00 59.04 26.27 9.89 1.79 1.79%

TWO-WEEK PLAN OF ACTION

DATE: TASK: COMPLETED:

Day 1: Complete reading this book

Day 2: Craft your letter. Compile any additional contacts.

Day 3: Send your first email to every single email address that you have.

Day 4: Take a break. Schedule sample sessions and consultation calls.

Day 5: Begin follow-up phone calls.

Day 6: Send a revised follow-up email to everyone.

Day 7: Continue scheduling sample and consultation calls

Day 8: Follow up with the rest of your phone calls.

Day 9: More follow-up phone calls.

Day 10: Complete your follow-up phone calls.

Day 11: Rest. (Always important to schedule in time to rest.)

Day 12: One more resend.

Day 13: Continue scheduling any further sample sessions and consultation calls.

Day 14: If you haven’t already started, begin coaching your new clients.

Day 21: Wait a week for everything to process and occur, and then contact me at [email protected] to let me know how well it went for you. I'd love to join you in celebrating you Finding Your First Five Clients!

And that’s that. It’s really just that easy.

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Thank you for your interest in getting this book and allowing it to help you to lay a solid foundation for fine-tuning your coaching skills and building your practice. Now that you’ve completed this process and gotten to the end, I would appreciate your feedback and comments on the material and your experience. In fact, to thank you for your feed-forward, I'm happy to give you a complimentary session to use as you desire. (Play your cards right, and you could be getting some serious free coaching along with your First Five Clients.) You have permission to be honest and candid with your comments and I know that they will be given with the intention of helping me refine this product and its content for future coaches.

A) The things that I liked about this book are:

B) The things that didn’t work for me are:

C) Because of this book, I know have a deeper understanding of:

D) I’m still unclear about:

E) I would/wouldn’t recommend this book to other coaches because:

F) I would pay $______for this material. G) And please feel free to add any other comments of your own that you would like me to know. Also, let me know if I have your permission to use your comments on my website and in other promotions for this book.

Thank you for the time and attention that you’ve devoted to yourself and this book. I had a blast creating it as I believe that there are many coaches out there who are needing this information. I hope you were one of them. Thank you for BEing a part of this amazing profession. I know that you're just in the beginning, but I promise you, if you stick with it, continue to feed your learning and growing, and every day do something to move yourself forward, one day you'll be looking back at all you've accomplished, all the impact that you've created, all the clients you've helped along the way. And you'll look back and remember fondly your First Five Clients. I am honored that you chose my experience and this book to help you along in your own journey, and I know that by you reaching the end, this is only the beginning for you. Take what you have learned today and make it work for you. My last words to you are: BE the coach that you truly are, DO the coaching that you know you can do, and HAVE the life and the success that you desire and deserve.

-ben dooley, PCC THE coaches confidence coach.

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GLOSSARY AND INDEX BEing, 74, 120, 121, 122, 124 learning, 60, 64, 68, 126 Then all that time and money would benefits, 10, 23, 33, 37, 56, 64, 65, Marketing, 19, 22, 23, 25, 33, 40, be a waste., 40 71, 122, 134 43, 44, 46, 47, 48, 56, 57, 71, What happens when my clients Bennie, 21, 22, 39, 40, 43, 44, 45, 100, 105, 111, 114, 116, 117, disappear, 36 What if it doesn’t feel right?, 35 46, 48, 56, 57, 104, 105, 106, 118, 121, 125, 126, 127, 128, What if they say “No”, 39 107, 111, 112, 123 134, 148 Will they kick me out, 27 ”Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious active marketing, 45, 120 reality, 14, 30 Burger Barn”, 21 passive marketing, 45, 46, 105 ROI, 104, 106 Bennie’s, 56 Matrix, 116, 117, 118, 125, 127, Saboteur, 15, 16, 17, 18, 25, 27, 32, Bennie’s Big, Bad, Bodacious 148 36, 38, 56, 58, 65, 66, 102, 113, Burger Barn, 21, 22, 39, 43, 44, exponential, 116, 117, 125, 134 118, 134, 135 45, 46 Mission Statement, 112 sale, 43, 44, 45, 47, 48 Bennies needs, 14, 16, 22, 23, 37, 38, 45, sales, 11, 45, 46, 49, 54, 56, 106, Bennie's Big Bad Bodacious Burger 47, 71, 101, 105, 107, 115, 124, 125 Barn, 40, 48, 111, 123 128 Sales, 40, 43, 46, 47, 48, 121, 126, call to action, 109, 110, 114, 115, niche, 10, 20, 22, 23, 41, 57, 71, 128 120, 125 107 sample, 23, 35, 120, 122, 124, 125, coaching lite, 124 patience. See patient 126, 133, 149 confidence, 10, 14, 15, 17, 25, 27, patient, 42, 46, 49 Sample, 23 32, 33, 58, 75, 102, 125, 135, Personal Empowering Phrase, 59, skills, 11, 18, 20, 25, 26, 27, 28, 32, 136 67, 68, 72, 111, 112, 115, 121, 33, 36, 40, 41, 47, 57, 65, 102, Confidence, 10, 16, 23, 31, 47, 59, 122, 123 103, 123, 126, 128, 150 68 PEP, 68, 72, 112, 113 skipping steps, 15, 24, 43, 112 consultation, 23, 149 Power Words, 11, 66, 132 SPAM, 46, 104, 107, 108, 114 Consultation, 23 Product Development, 19, 22, 24, Stage One, 18, 19, 21, 22, 23, 24, DOing, 9, 41, 74 35 33, 34, 35, 54, 57, 71, 100, 101, Eiffel Tower, 15 QUESTIONS, 27 107, 124, 128 elevator speech, 71 Can I coach my family or friends, Stage Three, 21, 22, 23, 24, 33, 46 growing, 68, 126 34 Stage Two, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, guarantee, 6, 21, 26, 32, 109, 114, Do I have to get five clients?, 32 34, 42, 44, 105, 107, 112, 128 116, 118, 134 how can I be confident getting clients if I don’t have clients in strengths, 57, 112 GUARANTEE, 6, 16, 134 the first place?, 32 struggling, 23, 25, 48, 49, 56, 109, help, 3, 6, 7, 10, 12, 18, 20, 21, 22, How much should I charge?, 33 121, 123 24, 25, 26, 28, 30, 32, 33, 34, I may be “asked to remove myself the Law of Attraction, 29 35, 40, 44, 47, 49, 57, 59, 65, from the class”, 30 the more you do it, the easier it 67, 71, 74, 75, 101, 102, 109, it’s continually a challenge for them gets, 126 110, 112, 114, 115, 116, 121, to commit to a specific date and values, 59, 62, 102, 124 122, 123, 124, 125, 126, 127, time for our session, 37 132, 133, 134, 150

The Coaching Skills Forum: Find the “Right” Twice a month, coaches from all over the world, of all levels of experience, gather on a conference line to coach for you! explore and deepen our learning of our coaching Now that you’re well on skills, one at a time. your way to Finding your First Five Clients, you might For a complete schedule, all questions answered and want to find a fabulous archived recordings, visit www.bedo.org coach to help you explore and expand your coaching Continuing Classes: skills and confidence. Two ways to expand your coaching confidence. Contact me, and I will offer THE HOKEY POKEY COACHING you a complimentary session EXPERINCE: designed to help you find the Perfect for new coaches who want to learn all that it right coach for you so you takes to create a solid foundation of a coaching can begin opening the doors practice, beyond what their schools are teaching. to your coaching magnificence. THE FAST PASS TO MASTER COACHING: (You can also access my After you've found your First Five Clients, and series of recordings at my you've some coaching experience, then you can learn website, that walks you what the master coaches know, and how you can through the process, but I connect with your clients confidently and powerfully. think you'll find it's more The only two differences between you and Master fun working with me.) coaches is hours of experience, and these skills. That is, until now. Visit www.bedo.org for the latest dates.

More cool stuff to help grow your coaching confidence! It’s all at my website www.bedo.org. Coaching forms to download and use. Book and audio program recommendations and links. Excel spreadsheet for logging all your hours with your first five clients. Tips and guidelines on how to Find the Right Coach for You. Sign up for BeDo Bits: the newsletter for coaching confidence. And more… All free for all coaches just like you. So what are you waiting for? Contact me and find out how I can help you continue your path towards your coaching success!

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