#712 20 - 26 June 2014 20 pages Rs 50

JAN MØLLER HANSEN STATELESS STATE THE LEAST t is well known that Nepal is migrants duped by human HARMFUL home to refugees from Bhutan traffickers. Iand Tibet, but what many may Meanwhile, of the 120,000 FUTURE not know is that there are about refugees from Bhutan who have THIS IS IT 1,000 refugees, asylum seekers and lived or were born in refugee BY RUBEENA MAHATO migrants in transit from trouble camps in Nepal in the last 22 spots around the world living years, 90,000 have been resettled PAGE 3 in Kathmandu. They are from in the United States and six other Somalia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, countries. However, one mother Bangladesh, Burma or Iraq, and doesn’t want to leave behind an arrive here in the hope that they abandoned baby she adopted six will be resettled, or are economic years ago. MODIFYING FROM YAK HERDERS INDO-NEPAL PHOTOS BY REFUGEES-IN-WAITING TO BASKETBALL CHAMPS TIES JAN MØLLER HANSEN Meet the basketball team DEADLINE nepalitimes.com PAGE 17 from Sikkim who went from BY DAMAKANT JAYSHI Online photo gallery herding yaks to winning PAGE 16 championships in a year PAGE 10-11 PAGE 6 2 EDITORIAL 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 SEPARATION OF STATE AND TEMPLE epal’s self-opinionated like to think that when coincidence that six days later, the Minister of Delhi sneezes Kathmandu should catch a cold. When it rains in Delhi insecure Women, Children and Social Welfare, Neelam KC NJust goes to show how little we think of ourselves echoed the same sentiments at a temple gathering that we bestow outsiders with such vast powers over politicians in Kathmandu unfurl outside Kathmandu. us. The same thing happened in the aftermath of the It is clear that Nepali politicians, like astounding victory of the Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) their umbrellas. politicians everywhere, find it too tempting not and the ascension of Narendra Modi: when it rained in to mix temple and state. When joblessness, lack Delhi, insecure politicians in Kathmandu unfurled their of investment and a stagnant economy keep the umbrellas. youth disillusioned and angry, stoking sectarian Nepal’s public sphere is still resonating with animosity is a way to divide and rule and keep the speculation about a rollback on secularism, Nepal being streets primed for control. declared a Hindu state or even the restoration of the Needless to say this is a short-sighted and monarchy. It doesn’t seem to matter that the Nepali self-destructive strategy. “Secularism” is a word people post-2006 have opted for a federal, secular we imported from post-partition India and its republic. Just because a certain religious-right party has need to steer clear of communalism. Nepal was swept elections in a neighbouring country why should never wracked by such violence, and even though that influence our political evolution? the Panchayat tried to fall back on “the world’s To be sure, if Nepalis themselves decided in a possible only Hindu kingdom,” that was more to gain future referendum to shun secularism and declare the political legitimacy than to ram through a quasi- country a Hindu state (as the fourth-largest party in the theocracy. Constituent Assembly, the RPP-N wants) so be it, but Conversion may have been banned and not because of political trends in another country. the Hindu ruling class did act superior during Unfortunately, Prime Minister Sushil Koirala himself the Panchayat, but there was never a sense set the trend by bequeathing a silver Shiva linga to Prime that all Nepalis should be Hindus. In fact, the Minister Modi when he went to Delhi last month. We 1957 constitution doesn’t even mention religion. In haven’t tried to find out what the other South Asian that sense Nepal was “secular” long before it was leaders gifted, but this was Koirala pretty brazenly formally adopted as a state ideology in 2006. establishing a religious basis for India-Nepal relations. The Hindu backlash we see now is largely In the aftermath of the Modi victory, Nepali Congress due to inaccurate translation of “secular” into leaders have started saying publicly that secularism may Nepali to almost mean “non-religious”, when it have to be re-evaluated. should actually mean “religious pluralism”. The swing to the right is even evident in the Maoist In a country where 20 per cent of the population party, with Pushpa Kamal Dahal telling BJP chairman (in the 2011 census) call themselves non-Hindu, Rajnath Singh that his party “made a big mistake” by it is absurd to push for the country to be declared abandoning the Hindu state. a “Hindu state.” Nepal’s national identity is Bhagat Singh Koshiyari, regarded as a moderate defined by its cultural, linguistic, religious and within the BJP, on a recent visit to Kathmandu met all ethnic diversity, not by its Hindu-ness. And we top leaders of all top parties and went on to ask the shouldn’t change that just because the religious- Nepal government to stop prosletysation. It wasn’t a right sweeps an election in the neighbourhood. NT ARCHIVE

YOUR SAY www.nepalitimes.com

THE 'F' WORD BACK TO SQUARE 1 Once upon a time I used to be forcing their way, assuming the villagers Ring Road? I am lying on my prayer The thorny issue of state The debate over dividing such a small a regular reader of Nepali Times have no way to protect themselves. mat in deep prayer for these sorry restructuring ('The 'f' word', country like Nepal into federal states because it gave balanced views Hopefully this will change now. souls. Life expectancy 30 plus in light Editorial, #711) can be easily wouldn't have become such a major on all issues. But there has been Michal of the balmy air? I would rather fi nish resolved if we take the opinion issue if our past leaders had played by a lot of unfair Maoist bashing in a pack of cigarettes before breakfast. of people residing in the districts. the rules of good governance. ('Pause, the past few years and Prachanda I don’t like what’s happening, but I Seven districts of in Tarai have play, repeat', Trishna Rana, #711). and Baburam Bhattarai have been appreciate being informed. When will Carl Pahadi majority (more than 50 per It is yet another attempt by the constantly hounded. Politicians men realise that shooting into the air cent) population. So some would politicians to divide the country and make mistakes all the time, let them means that there is a wild bullet that will LUMBINI TAKES OFF like to retain their closeness with rule as they wish. Our politicians keep do their jobs! come back down somewhere? Some points in this article might the adjoining hilly districts. on wrangling over the petty issues Barbara Clary confuse those who do not know Danny time and again while thousands of PK Lumbini well ('Lumbini set to take Nepalis are forced to leave for better The Nepal Police are a bunch off', Matt Miller, #711). Most temples How about referendum on opportunities abroad. It is high time PRASHANT JHA of criminals. The international donor in Lumbini were built representing topics like education opportunities, we switch to commercial farming Suprised to see Nepali Times give community needs to evaluate the their origin and traditions. Yes, right to citizenship, work, justice, and encourage investments for so much space to a mediocre and activities of the Nepal Police and bring there are a few which negligently dignity. As soon as there are hydropower. If Bhutan can do it, why heavily-slanted book ('Interview with sanctions against the government. The violated the guidelines in the Kenzo ethnicity based divisions you will not us? How long can the economy Prashant Jha', #711). On the other support and funding of Nepal Police Tange Lumbini Master Plan but that have a mini India/Pakistan type of sustain simply on revenue from Nepali hand, not really surprised because needs to be suspended immediately. happened mainly because of the system and whenever a non-native migrant workers. you have always coddled closet Bhuwan unclear guidelines. The writer says the demands justice as a minority he Rjackson33 Maoists like Comrade Prashant who Lumbini development area is already will be asked to 'move' out. Just has never bothered to hide the fact RETURN OF THE MICROBES "overbuilt". Seems like he didn't see like Muslims complain about being By the way: republicanism, that he is an Indian agent. A timely article ('Return of the the massive concrete jungle being treated like a Pakistani wannabe secularism and federalism cannot microbes,' Sunir Pandey, #711) to fi ght spread outside the area. in India. be taken back at any cost because Singh against the scourge of Tuberculosis Sayalay Bhaddamanika Namah this is what thousands of Nepalis which has presented yet again in a new sacrifi ced their lives for. Instead of FIGHTING FOR YARSA form. Prudent antibiotics prescription It would be so much better if blaming the failed ideologies of the It's not about natural resources practice is necessary amongst the Nepal's politicians just did their parties and politicians, why don't we ('Fighting for yarsa', Bhrikuti Rai, medical diaspora in Nepal. Physicians jobs honestly. Just give us water, think about creating a whole new #711), rather it is about Nepal's rampantly use Fluoroquinolones and Weekly Internet Poll #712 energy to light our homes, jobs, law system of governance and modality of government agencies colonial Cephalosporin, and mostly when they Q. Will Nepal take part in the football World Cup in the and order. We need to pass on the development? attitude towards remote areas and are least required. I would suggest next 20 years? leadership from the present corrupt Nepali the people there. In case of Nar- antibiotic protocol adherence is a must Total votes: 407 lot of crooks that are in power to Phu, it was the absence of Nepal in countries like Nepal that may soon a younger and honest generation The Maoists deserve criticism , Police which led to the massacre fi nd itself engulfed in the arms of even to lead us. NC/UML/ Maobadi/ but the other parties are not any more (villagers of Nar-Phu were actually more serious resistant infections. Morcha, all have few things in deserving of blame. Neither are they forced to protect themselves against common. They are all corrupt to more democratic or concerned about illegal harvesting for years, it was a Salil Pradhan their bones, aren't ashamed of the citizens than the Maoists. They matter of time for a major incident what they do, and are a disgrace seem no different at all in action. The to happen). In this case it's the TWO WHEELS GOOD Weekly Internet Poll #713 to Nepal. difference is only in their speeches. heavy handedness of the local Bicycle courier ('Two wheels good,' To vote go to: www.nepalitimes.com Narayana Prasad B administration who were used to Tsering Dolker Gurung, #711) inside Q. What should be the budget’s biggest priority?

Publisher and Chief Editor: Kunda Dixit Associate Editor: Tsering Dolker Gurung | Online Editor: Bhrikuti Rai | Design: Kiran Maharjan Published by Himalmedia Pvt Ltd | Patan Dhoka, Lalitpur | GPO Box 7251 Kathmandu [email protected] | www.nepalitimes.com | www.himalmedia.com | Tel: 01-5005601-08 Fax: +977-1-5005518 Marketing: Arjun Karki, Surendra Sharma [email protected] | Advertorials: Ram Krishna Banjara | Subscriptions: Santosh Aryal [email protected] Nepali Times on Facebook Follow @nepalitimes on Twitter Printed at Jagadamba Press | 01-5250017-19 | www.jagadambapr.com 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 OPINION 3

confidence, not by sidelining or guarantee that things will be overriding them. smooth after the conclusion of the It is important to reach a second CA. We might discover compromise on the number, that the model we finally settled names and delineation of future for comes with more troubles than states this time around. Madhesis we bargained for, or we might end and Janajatis are concerned that up delineating and re-delineating the NC and UML’s proposed state borders. federal arrangements would not Whether we like it or not, grant real autonomy and identity, our problems will not go away and the latter feel threatened by with the new constitution. the new power dynamics that But having stakeholders feel forced them to the fringes in the ownership of the document will first CA. There is also a great deal certainly make it easier to resolve of mistrust amongst parties about these issues when they arise in BILASH RAI each others' intentions. But unlike the future. what many would have us believe, @rubeenaa consensus is not impossible. Both sides need to show a bit more confidence in the other and be willing to engage in give and take. If one side is adamant that the names of states be based on ethnicity, then so be it. As long as all the ethnicities have equal rights and opportunities, names need not be a bone of contention, especially if it gives ethnic groups a sense of recognition. This is not the time to bring up the five development region model as an Least harmful future alternative to federalism either. This will only distance ethnicities who The second CA will soon have to make some hard choices, struggled to establish the federalism agenda and ensure minimum damage and will remove what little trust remains ased on who you ask, you fiasco. But what also remains and the Janajati coalition did between parties. will hear different versions clear is that when the consensus not want a constitution either, The Madhesis on the Bof what led to the failure of seemed to be finally building on at least not the kind that was other hand will have to the first Constituent Assembly, the number and naming of states going to be announced if the reconsider their demand but journalists worth their salt with proposed models okayed by compromise that was agreed on for One-Madhes, which know what really happened in the Maoists, someone somewhere had been honoured. They decided has not just alarmed hill the frantic few hours before the pulled the plug. to let the CA collapse instead. communities but would CA was ungraciously dissolved Key players suddenly Airbrushed accounts of history be fiercely resisted at the stroke of midnight on 28 withdrew their support and we might leave out this crucial piece by Tharus and other May, 2013. were left without a draft on D of detail, but we would do well groups in Tarai. Day. With that, any hope that the to remember this as we relive The current state of nation could have a constitution, those same moments in the indecision cannot which is essentially a document second CA. It is disheartening drag on for very of consensus, vanished. that the first CA failed and the long. The NC and the UML, same issues vex this one too. But Sooner or later, incompetent, corrupt and easy the fact is that there is really no we will have to THIS IS IT targets that they were and are, point in having a constitution if make some difficult took the blame from Prime a sizeable political section, even choices. The question is how Rubeena Mahato Minister Baburam Bhattarai. if it is not the majority, feels to do it with the least amount Rather predictably, they were unsatisfied with it. of harm. How do we make sure It was a collective failure accused of sabotaging the process We would only end up not to make lasting damage on the part of our politicians so that the predominantly pushing the country into more to the relationships between and CA members, and of course Madhesi and Janajati parliament instability and conflict. The communities or create everyone involved in the process would not have their way. But the Maoists, Madhesis and the new avenues for resource has to take responsibility for the truth is, the Maoist, Madhesi Janajatis felt they were getting a based conflicts amongst raw deal and if we are to have any competing states in the hope for a new constitution, it can future? only be done by taking them into There is no 4 NATION 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 Service providers deny they are colluding, but say it should be a level playing field. They are not happy with Nepal Telecommunication delayed decisions and indecisions on their proposals for expansion and upgrading. For example Ncell is still waiting to hear from NTA on its Unlimited Call Campaign which Lack-of-Authority it says would benefit customers. Three years ago NTA unveiled a new frequency distribution and pricing policy decisions,” says former NTA Chairman, under which Smart Telecom paid Rs 370 The expansion and upgrade of mobile phone services Suresh Kumar Pudasaini. million to get a unified license, while Regulatory paralysis has impacted Indian-owned UTL is waiting and watching. is stuck because of regulatory failure service providers like Nepal Telecom (NT) Renewal of a unified license is set at Rs and Ncell which applied for 4G licenses 20.13 billion, with provisions for auctioning three years ago. Ncell has been waiting to off 4G licenses, but all this is at a standstill spread its 3G service nationwide but the because of the absence of an executive. NTA has given it neither a ‘yes’ nor a ‘no.’ The future of telecom development in Customers have also been affected because Nepal, as elsewhere in the region, is in the NTA hasn’t been able to decide on data as more and more people upgrade to telecom tariff adjustments. smartphones. Operators know this, and Trade industry insiders say politicians are in a hurry to improve bandwidth and and bureaucrats in the Ministry of technical capacity. Information and Communication (MOIC) The rural telecom fund has accumulated would prefer a weak NTA so they can take Rs 7 billion from a two per cent tax on the over its regulatory functions, make policy operator profits. This was supposed to be decisions, as well as appoint a crony as used to upgrade and expand services in its new head to favour the politically remote areas, but it is in limbo. Ncell has connected. not been able to repatriate dividend worth In the past, no NTA chairman has Rs 360 million to its overseas shareholders been able to complete his term because of because of the lack of Central Bank political interference from the ministry. clearance, and this has made it think twice There is also a conflict of interest because about plans to invest a further $100 million the MOIC secretary is also on the committee to expand and upgrade its service. to select the NTA chairman and board of All this is making foreign investors DEVAKI BISTA directors. wary, not just in telecom but also in other RAMESH KUMAR licenses, allocating frequencies, deciding The MOIC renewed NT’s license this infrastructure projects, about putting money on mergers and acquisitions, negotiating year without stipulating its license fee into Nepal. Still, Smart Telecom proposes with foreign investors and monitoring and payment term. According to current to use its unified license to partner with a fter initial rapid progress following cross-holdings. regulations, NT should have paid Rs 20 foreign telecom company. Arun Sumargi the entry of an international However, a Supreme Court decision billion for a five-year license renewal, of Hello Mobile is also wooing a foreign Amobile operator 10 years ago, two years ago barring Chairman designate but it only paid Rs 180.9 million. This sets partner after it upgrades to a unified license. the development and spread of Nepal’s Digambar Jha from taking any decisions has a precedent and Ncell may also not have to NT is working to appoint a new foreign telecom infrastructure has ground to a halt left the NTA leaderless and rudderless. Jha pay Rs 20 billion when its license expires in partner from among eight bidders, and because of a weak regulator and political was appointed by previous Communication September. STM Telecommunication Inc has also interference. Minister Rajkishore Yadav, but was accused “It’s clever of the service providers applied for a unified license after the Nepal Telecommunication Authority of not being qualified for the job. to avoid paying the Rs 20 billion license Chaudhary Group bought 80 per cent (NTA) is supposed to be an independent “Let alone policy rulings, the NTA renewal,” says former NTA Chairman Bhesh share in the company that is presently government regulator in charge of renewing hasn’t even been able to take day-to-day Raj Kandel. concentrated in eastern Nepal. 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 BUSINESS 5 craft by hand what is designed BIZ BRIEFS by computer is what makes them stand out in the world of jewelry in the US. Father and son make rings and multi-million Joint venture dollar necklaces, as well as the Bank of Kathmandu has entered into an famous Victoria bracelet which agreement with International Leasing and is Tiffany’s most popular. “It is Finance, Shree Investment and Finance, and when I can do what computer Nepal Express Finance for a merger. Once designers are unable to that I am the merger is complete, the new entity will most proud,” says Manik. continue to operate as Bank of Kathmandu. Manik’s grandfather used to take him to the palace in Increased frequency Kathmandu during Dasain, and Turkish Airlines has begun operating daily the royal family admired his fl ights from Kathmandu to Istanbul. The airline family’s discipline and craft. That which began its operations last September with four roundtrip fl ights a week was a very different upbringing increased the number to seven from 14 June. from what his grandchildren now have in the Bronx in New York, but it is still a closely-knit family Hassle free with Manik’s six children and International Money Express has introduced a grandchildren all living in the membership card ‘IME Customer Card’ for its same neighbourhood. remittance customers. Once a customer has a Manik’s second son is an registered customer card, he/she won’t need to BASIL EDWARD TEO aerospace engineer, and his other produce identifi cation documents before conducting children are not likely to carry transactions. on in the family business. “If you have a family, you have to watch Rural banking Hearts of gold out for them and put the young Himalayan Bank and Samriddha Pahad have generation on the right track,” signed an agreement to work together to facilitate Manik says, “that is the most micro credit facilities to deprived areas in the anik Lal Risal’s father Fittingly, Manik (in white) important.” He says one of hilly and mountain region. As per the agreement and grandfather used to taught his son Dharma (in blue) the biggest mistakes Nepali the two organisations will jointly develop a set of Mmake intricate jewelry for the art of jewelry crafting, and he immigrants make is not make screening criteria, format and processes to access Nepal’s royal family. But when he is now also a designer for enough time for family. potential cooperatives for wholesale lending. The emigrated to the United States 34 Tiffany’s. Dharma followed his Manik has no plans of retiring, non-profi t, an initiative of the Blue Berry Hill Charitable Trust from the UK, has years ago, it was hard for him to father to the US when he was 17 but he says he may want to pass also entered into a similar partnership with NMB Bank. get a job because few believed he and actually studied jewelry on his knowledge and give had the skills since he came from a technology there. He now opportunities to Nepali poor country. combines that knowledge with apprentices outside his immediate Personal tags But Manik impressed everyone traditional handcrafting skills family. For someone who has Qatar Airways has developed a new online with his art and skill, and got his passed down from his ancestors. been in the jewelry business for system for passengers who wish to print their big break making jewelry for the “Combining the two sides helps decades in the US, you would own baggage tags before arrival at the airport. ‘My Q-Tag’ enables customers luxury retailer Tiffany’s in 1994. me a lot,” Dharma said during expect Manik to look ostentatious. to arrive at the airport and proceed directly to the web check-in bag drop “Everything I learned, I learned a recent visit to Nepal with his Just the opposite, his simplicity, counter, where a customer service representative will process the already from my father,” says Manik. “My father. charm and positive attitude labelled baggage. ancestors were all jewelers and Manik and Dharma don’t describe a man with much higher they passed the skills down to design traditional Nepali jewelry standards than gold. White pearls me.” for Tiffany’s, but their ability to Matt Miller Dabur Nepal has launched its new product Dabur Herbal Gel Toothpaste. The toothpaste which claims to be the fi rst herbal gel toothpaste in Nepal is being endorsed by actor Priyanka Karki. Sale closing Kunal Furnishing’s 50 percent sale on its wide range of home interiors will end on 30 June. The store announced its grand discount scheme with the onset of the Nepali New Year. 6 NATION 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712

A lot of it has to do with the subservience of Nepal’s politicians and those running the Modi-fying Indo-Nepal ties government. By rushing to seek India’s support on matters related to inter- and intra-party rivalries, Nepal has to move beyond subservient and sub-sovereign status and even petty personal requests, they open themselves up for he buzz that followed the Intelligence Bureau (IB). It goes manipulation. appointment of Narendra without saying that he offered The task of engaging with TModi as India’s prime the same reason RAW has offered the Indian political class is long minister last month is only through its own Nepali channels: overdue. I am sure most Nepali going to get louder with the it is “necessary to engage with all leaders have the good of the announcement that he will visit actors.” country at heart. But there is a Nepal in August. If Bhattarai has had a change tendency to seek support from of heart about the pitfalls of outside for inside struggles for engaging with Indian handlers power. The political leaders in then it is commendable. This Nepal need to resolve to not still begs two questions: is he seek personal and party advantage sincere in raising this or has he at the cost of the national interest. fallen out of favour of the Indian Working for equal status establishment? requires strength, will and self- THE DEADLINE The second question is why confidence. This is easier said Damakant Jayshi do our politicians need to engage than done. Moreover, it could with the security agencies of attract hostility, or at least Modi was in Bhutan this week friendly countries at all? Isn’t that annoyance, from some quarters in and in his address to parliament in itself a proof of an “unequal” India. But the start has to be made seemed to think he was already in national interest – in that order. Baburam Bhattarai recently relationship? Why can’t the and made soon. Nepal. An official from India’s brought up the subject of Nepal’s leaders in Nepal gradually work In journalism, we wait for Not since IK Gujral has Ministry of External Affairs “unequal” relations again. His towards a situation where they a peg to write a story that has India had a prime minister told a visiting Nepali journalist exact words: “India should stop talk, discuss and negotiate with always been there. We have more interested in the South earlier this year that every Nepali micro-managing Nepal through its their political and government that peg now – a new, decisive Asian neighbourhood. prime minister visiting India – intelligence agencies (RAW) and counterparts? India says it government in India whose But when it comes to Nepal, with the exception of Krishna bureaucracy, and maintain respects Nepal’s sovereignty prime minister acts more like an there will be intense speculation Prasad Bhattarai and Manmohan relations with Nepal at the and wants political stability. executive president and wants to and debate on the usual issues Adhikari – bad mouthed their political level.” This, coming Is interference and micro- leave a stamp of authority. Who that vex relations between Delhi personal and party rivals while from a politician who during the managing to ensure that? knows, he might even see merit in and Kathmandu. The political there. So it does look like the two height of Maoist insurgency in This is not just because most an assertive Nepali leadership. party leaders in Nepal can be Maoist prime ministers we’ve had Nepal, was mostly in cahoots with layers in the Indian establishment It may be futile, but I would be expected to behave predictably: doth complain too much about Indian spooks from the Research want sub-sovereign countries in happy to be proven wrong. to look for personal, party and “Indian hegemony” in Nepal. and Analysis Wing (RAW) and their immediate neighbourhood. @damakant That was the monsoon starting not with a bang, but a whimper. A monsoon that snuck in through the backdoor, as it were, despite predictions that it would KATHMANDU be a week late. It is only four days late. By all accounts it is going to be a weak start, although the mid-hills and mountains will get localised afternoon convection rain. But as long as the prevailing winds have shifted direction to come from the east, it will ease the desert and pollution haze in Nepal, clear the air, and bring steady daily rain. Bye bye dust, hello mud. FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY 30° 28° 23° #712 20 - 26 June 2014 19° 18° 19°

SETOPATI'S ONE YEAR SuccessSuccess ooff digital-onlydigital-only pportalortal indicatesindicates tthathat onlineonline mmediaedia hhasas attained critical mass in Nepal

KUNDA DIXIT

PICS: KUNDA DIXIT

he biggest surprise about INSIDE NEWSROOM: Ameet Dhakal He doesn’t rule out accepting a news portal a year after with his technical manager at the donor funding. Tit started is not that it has Setopati offi ce in Jhamsikhel earlier this Says Damakant Jayshi of Panos 400,000 users per month, but that month (above), Ameet Dhakal with his South Asia and Dhakal’s former it is a shoestring operation run out ipad (left). colleague at Republica: “Setopati of an improbable hole-in-the-wall is refreshing, it is doing what office in Jhamsikhel. Nepali language journalism sorely When asked how many people print content. lacked: perspective and analysis. are logged in to setopati.com at Setopati has tried to ride It is a must-read portal for me, but that moment, founder editor this digital wave, and has needs to expand its coverage.” Ameet Dhakal (pic, right) whips managed to prove wrong a lot of Setopati spent its first year out an iPad to confirm that more assumptions about online media. maximising readers, which it than 465 people all over the world Says Dhakal: “Setopati is proof did successfully. The reason are reading the portal even as we that you don’t need multimedia Setopati hasn’t spent resources speak. We notice that Dhakal’s content or light sensational news on augmenting content with iPad has seen better days, its to attract readers.” video and images is because of touchscreen is cracked and Even the readership low bandwidth in Nepal, Dhakal taped up. 1 April 2013. 325,000 readers and nearly 24,000 breakdown indicates that Setopati explains, but all that could change “We don’t have deep pockets, Having seen the potential for shares on Facebook. A profile users in the diaspora are more with the spread of 4G enabled we have no pockets,” quips online media in Nepal in their of heart surgeon Bhagwan high-brow than other popular mobile platforms. “We want to Dhakal. “I could have bought previous jobs, and convinced Koirala by Binita Dahal was read entertainment and gossip-driven earn our readers, not buy them,” a new tablet, but this one still that they didn’t want to work by 125,000 people in the first portals. The Gulf countries and he adds. works.” for anyone anymore, Dhakal week of publication. Malaysia are not among Setopati’s The name ‘setopati’ (which Indeed, in the brave new world and Wagle decided to start a “I could never have got that top ten countries: it is Nepalis means whiteboard) came about of digital media setopati.com is Nepali news portal with serious, kind of readership when I was in the US, Australia, UK, South by chance as the original team turning everything on its head. exclusive and investigative content working for Nagarik,” Dahal said, Korea and Japan who login most was at a brainstorming retreat It has shown that you don’t need in longform journalism format. who used to be a Setopati reporter frequently. and discussing possible names massive investment, there is “If we had started a newspaper, and is now with BBC Nepali. The most pressing challenge for the portal, as it turns out, on no gestation period for startups we would never have got this With the number of Facebook for the portal is to make the a whiteboard. and journalists can be their own kind of readership within one users approaching 4 million and venture sustainable. There is But perhaps the most telling bosses. year,” says Dhakal, “and all 400,000 on Twitter, Nepal now virtually no advertising on measure of setopati.com’s success Dhakal had worked before journalists need readers.” has a critical mass of online users. Setopati, including from Google is not the surprising number at The Kathmandu Post and Whereas a popular story Low startup costs mean that new Adsense since the portal is in of readers it has amassed so fast, helped start Republica but quit in the print media would be portals are sprouting all over Nepali. Dhakal is planning on but that it has so many copycats after differences with publishers. read by 20,000 people at most, the place. Mainstream media also launching an aggressive marketing with names like ‘ratopati’ and the He joined up with like-minded Setopati’s most read story by have digital editions, although drive to cash in on the eyeballs, soft porn site ‘nilopati'. Imitation, editors Narayan Wagle and Yubaraj Kamala Thapa about her botched in many cases their sites are and perhaps even a voluntary after all, is the best form of Ghimire to launch Setopati on delivery at a maternity hospital got just dumping ground for subscription model in the future. flattery. 8 EVENTS DINING

Cha cha cha, Birdwatch, Golden Dragon, learn one month’s worth of Salsa in head to Nagarjun to catch sight of breathing fi re, roasting duck. Jhamsikhel four days. Rs 1,000 for singles, Rs 1,500 Kathmandu's rare birds. for couples, Monday to Thursday,7.30 to 21 June, 6.30am, Raniban Gate, 9841330576 Mulchowk, 8.30am/5 to 6pm/6 to 7pm, the blend of culinary expertise and Salsa Dance Academy, Bhatbhateni Movie time, charms of a bygone era. Babarmahal watch acclaimed fi lms from Israel at the City Museum Kathmandu, 9th Israeli Film Festival. New Tushita Restaurant, head down to Darbar Marg’s newest 20 June, Russian Cultural Centre, relaxing ambience and good food. Don’t gallery on the block for personalised 12.30pm, 3pm, 5.30pm miss out on its penne with creamy bacon guided tours. and mushroom sauce. Kathmandu kora, Tours run daily, accommodates up to Kickoff, Noyoz, Lajimpat, (01)44432957 15 people, [email protected] Join hundreds of cycling enthusiasts and Watch all the matches of the football this tiny little joint serves food that tastes ride for 50, 75, or 100 km to raise funds World Cup live. like your mother’s cooking. Bhatbhateni for a birthing centre in Pyutar, Lalitpur. Rox Bar, Hyatt Regency, Boudha 19 July, facebook.com/kathmandu.kora Mike’s breakfast, Refugee stories, huge breakfasts and an endless supply Retrospective, photo exhibition, fi lm shows and talk of coff ee amidst a lush garden setting a look back at the oeuvre of senior artist programmes on the millions of refugees characterise this cafe, popular among and cubism enthusiast Surendra Pradhan. who have either found new lives or still tourists and locals alike. Lakeside Runs till 18 July, Park Gallery, Pulchok, yearn for home. 20 to 30 June, The City Museum, Darbar Marg parkgallery.com.np Project Fight Back, Teaching women to take care of their own On glamour, safety and fi ght back if necessary. Rajan Nepal, editor of Shukrabar, will Rs 500, 22 June, 10.15am to 12.15pm, share his experience on women, media Edushala, Pulchok and glamour. Dragon Chinese Restaurant, 24 June, 3 to 4.30pm, Martin Chautari try the Kung Pao Pork if alone and the Mai Tuning Earth and Sky, Cao if with company. Lakeside, Pokhara a rare collection of the works of artist Jimmy Thapa. Vootoo, Runs till 21 June, Galleria Ishine, Yak Restaurant, the new home of Newari cuisine, as well Kupandol Height, Sanepa serves authentic Chinese food, try the as a continental menu for those who don’t mala tofu, chicken with fungus, and spicy want an adventure. Lajimpat, (01)4005222 Open house, pork spare ribs. Boudha, Kathmandu featuring the work of artists Arpita Shakya, Laskus Restaurant, Ashuram Khaiju, and Palpasa Manandhar. Chez Caroline, welcome to the best taste your palates Runs till 7 July, 11am to 6pm, exquisite food, glorious sunshine and can get. Kathmandu Guest House, Thamel Rinpoche, Gallery Mcube, Chakupat more. 9am to 10pm, Babar Mahal Revisited, (01)4700800, [email protected] chance to learn about Buddhism and I feel free, (01)4263070/4187 meditation from the Dolpo Tulku Conversations, Listen to poets Bikram Subba and Manu Ghar-e-kabab, Rinpoche, twice. Seira Tamang talks to journalist Prashant Manjil recite their poems. Lanhua, serving the best of north Indian cuisine, Rs 1,000, 21 June, 2.30 to Jha. 20 June, 4pm, Rs 100/200, 28 June, 3pm, Gothale Theatre, for the best of Chinese cuisine at great with live Sarod recitals on some days. 5.30 pm, Pranamaya Studio, 9802045484 Nepal-Bharat Library, New Road Battisputali, (01)4469621 prices. Lakeside, Pokhara Hotel Annapurna, Darbar Marg 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 9 MUSIC GETAWAYS

Waterfront Resort, the lakeside hotel invites you for special barbeque dinners on Friday and lunches on Saturday. Sedi Height, Lakeside road, Pokhara, (061)466303/304, www.waterfronthotelnepal.com Better weekends, good food and good company by the pool and jacuzzi to begin your weekends on the right note. Rs 1,800 excl. tax, 12.30pm onwards, Atithi Resort, Shastriya sangeet, Saturdays, The Cafe, Hyatt Regency a perfect place to stay, nearby pool, massage, sauna, and delicious food the best of Hindustani classical every new of your choice. moon night. Shantipatan, Lakeside, Pokhara, 27 July, 4pm onwards, Battisputali GOALS GALORE (61)466760, (01)4002077 Music at Manny's, Date Nepal Time Fixture Location live Hindi and Nepali pop music with Barahi Jungle Lodge, the fi rst eco-jungle lodge of Chitwan Shabnam Gurung and Dinesh Quartet. 20 June 00.45 am Uruguay vs England Sao Paolo directly overlooks the Chitwan National Manny's Eatery and Tapas Bar, Jawalakhel 3.45 am Japan vs Greece Natal Park, spa, boutique guest room, 9.45 pm Italy vs Costa Rica Recife Starry Night BBQ, individual and two-in–one private 21 June 00.45 am Switzerland vs France Salvador villas, including a suite with a private 3.45 am Honduras vs Ecuador Curitiba catch Ciney Gurung live as you chomp on swimming pool. 9.45 pm Argentina vs Iran Belo Horizonte your meat stick. Andrauli, West Chitwan, 22 June 00.45 am Germany vs Ghana Fortaleza Rs 1499, 7pm onwards, Fridays, Shambala www.barahijunglelodge.com 3.45 am Nigeria vs Bosnia & Herzogovina Cuiaba Garden Café. Hotel Shangri-La, (01)4412999 9.45 pm Belgium vs Russia Rio De Janeiro 23 June 00.45 am Korea vs Algeria Porto Alegre Shangri~La Village Resort, 3.45 am USA vs Portugal Manaus set amidst peaceful surroundings with a 9.45 pm Netherlands vs Chile Sao Paulo breathtaking mountain view, landscaped 9.45 pm Australia vs Spain Curitiba Monsoon madness gardens, water bodies and a relaxing 24 June 1.45 am Cameroon vs Brazil Brasilia get away from the capital this monsoon ambience. 1.45 am Croatia vs Mexico Recife and beat the heat in Pokhara. Gharipatan, Pokhara, (61)462222, 9.45 pm Italy vs Uruguay Natal Rs 5,555 for 2 Nights/3 Days, Shangri- (01)4410051, [email protected] 9.45 pm Costa Rica vs England Belo Horizonte La Village Resort, Pokhara, salessvr@ 25 June 1.45 am Japan vs Colombia Cuiaba hotelshangrila.com, hotelshangrila.com. Mum’s Garden Resort, 1.45 am Greece vs Ivory Coast Fortaleza 9.45 pm Nigeria vs Argentina Porto Alegre (01) 4410051, (061)462222. head out to Pokhara for a peaceful and 9.45 pm Bos. & Herz. vs Iran Salvador comfortable stay in beautifully designed 26 June 1.45 am Honduras vs Switzerland Manaus Reggae night, Relax, cottages surrounded by a lush green 1.45 am Ecuador vs France Rio De Janeiro get a load of jah music from Chari Amilo A special one night accommodation garden with great views of Phewa Lake 9.45 pm Portugal vs Ghana Brasilia Kala Samuha every weekend. package for two, including breakfast, and the Annapurna range. 9.45 pm USA vs Germany Recife Rs 200, 21 June, 6pm onwards, Base Camp, and spa. Lake Side, Pokhara, (061)463468, 27 June 1.45 am Korea vs Belgium Sao Paulo Jhamsikhel Rs 9,000, Hyatt Regency, (01)4491234 www.mumsgardenresort.com 1.45 am Algeria vs Russia Curitiba 10

TSERING DOLKER GURUNG

heir story has all the makings of a Hollywood Tsports blockbuster: a passionate coach, an underdog team, hordes of critics and finally, an unexpected climactic victory. Meet the girls basketball team from Gangyap, a village in western Sikkim near the border with Nepal. The girls from Gangyap stole hearts and headlines when they won India's U-19 CBSE Basketball National Level Championship in 2011, becoming the first team from North East India to do so. Formed by educator Siddhartha Yonzon (pic), the girls are all students of Eklavya Model Residential School, where Yonzon serves as the principal. The school, opened in 2007, is a part of the SHOOTING initiative of the Indian government to provide education to children from indigenous communities. Most of the school's students come from families who raise livestock and farm. “Many people thought I was STARS crazy to want to teach basketball to a group who had never heard, started building a team around two National Level Championships in monicker, “army of ants". seen or played the game,” says This girls basketball of his players from his previous 2011 and 2012. At the semifinal match against Siddhartha who along with the school. Among the first to be For years, the girls practiced Saipal Academy at the recent team was in Kathmandu last team from Sikkim selected from Eklavya was team on a pasture in the middle of a tournament in Kathmandu, coach week to participate in the HIMS captain Nima Doma Bhutia whose maize field with boards hung Yonjon was seen standing, Basketball Tournament. went from herding natural talent for the game caught from tree tops. They got a proper jumping and screaming Basketball was a sport limited Siddhartha's attention. court to play on only last year. instructions at players, even to Sikkim's privileged and to boys, yaks to winning “When you see her play, you But that didn't stop them from though they had a double-digit and Siddhartha himself has no know she was destined to play winning local tournaments. Aged lead most of the game. professional training in coaching basketball basketball,” says the coach of his 11-13, the girls beat teams with While other competing teams and didn't play the game in player who was named the MVP for much older players in open-state - three of the best basketball girls' school. But he loved the game and championships two consecutive years at the U-19 tournaments and earned the teams in Kathmandu - headed to 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 11

DRIBBLE, RUN, SCORE (l-r): Coach Siddhartha Yonjon started the Gangyap girls basketball team in 2007. The team went on to win several local level championships within its fi rst year of formation. Players of Team Gangyap practice lay-ups before their match against Saipal Academy at HIMS on Thursday which they won. Team captain Nima Doma Bhutia tries to dribble past an opponent. Yonjon points out errors and discusses tactics with his players during a time out during Thursday's match. ALL PICS: BASIL EDWARD TEO the canteen, Yonzon sat the team says Nima Doma Bhutia, the team education college in India. leaves Siddhartha surprised. The Yonjon. But with the association down. Individual errors were captain. The other players nod in A benefit dinner organised at state’s failure to get affiliation with showing no interest in getting an pointed out, another round of agreement. Hotel Shambhala in Maharajganj, the Basketball Association of India affiliation soon, Yonjon worries if layups were demanded. There was Nima Doma is one of the five owned by one of Siddhartha’s has hindered the girls’ dream of that day will ever come. His other no time for food. girls from the team who’ll be friends, managed to raise enough playing for their state. worry is that five of the girls will For an outsider, Yonzon’s graduating this year. Their visit money to pay for the girls' college “Many coaches have be graduating soon. coaching style might appear harsh to Nepal is a part of a fundraising for two years. One of his friends approached me to let my girls Like many other players in the and his passion easily confused effort organised by Siddhartha’s has already offered to cover the play for other states, but I refused team, Nima Doma’s ultimate goal with aggression, but the players friends, former schoolmates and remaining amount. because of this sentimental is to play for team India. “That’s don’t think so. “He knows what collegemates to pay for the girls’ Although individual support connection with Sikkim. I want been my dream since I learnt to we are capable of doing. That’s college. The girls have plans to has humbled the team, lack of them to wear a jersey with Sikkim play," she says. why he’s disappointed today,” attend LNIP, a physical support from the state of Sikkim imprinted on the back,” says www.emrsgangyap.com 12

convinced of, Hiccup sets about befriending Toothless – a baby Night Fury dragon. As Hiccup and Toothless become fast friends and learn to fly together, Hiccup starts the impossible task of trying to convince his village that dragons are sentient, sensitive creatures and not the monstrous killers everyone imagines. In this second film the entire village has been converted – everyone rides their own beloved dragons, who are more their friends than pets. But of course, disaster looms in the form of Drago Bludvist (Djimon Hounsou) In the past decade there have a dragon hunter who captures been some wonderful animated and tortures his dragons to serve HAPPENINGS HOW TO films such as The Incredibles his vast dragon army. (2004), Ratatouille (2007), and As a grownup Hiccup my personal favourite to date Up struggles to reason with Bludvist TRAIN YOUR (2009). These films are as much he discovers a whole new world, made for grown ups as they animated with much detail and are for children. The films have loving care. This second story DRAGON 2 complex characters, tragic turns in offers some truly original new nimation is an art form. the story line that are true to real pleasures with the addition of Hayao Miyazaki the director life, nebulous villains who are not some wonderful new characters, Aof some of the most classic always that villainous but flawed one of whom is voiced by the animated film of all time like rather, and yet of course there are spectacular Cate Blanchett. Totoro (1988), Spirited Away also flights of fancy and moments Toothless the dragon is one (2001), and Princess Mononoke of glorious beauty – an essential of the main attractions of the component of some of the most film even though he doesn’t brilliant works of animation. speak a word and undoubtedly How to Train Your Dragon is one of the most loveable and BIKRAM RAI another classic from DreamWorks. intelligent creatures ever to be The first installment chronicled borne of animation. Aside from THE LADY: Burmese democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi arrives at Tribhuwan International Airport on Friday. She was in Nepal on a four-day visit. the story of a young Hiccup a few slightly too long maudlin (voiced adorably by Jay Baruchel), moments in this film – it is a MUST SEE a Viking boy who lives on an near perfect pleasure. Take your Sophia Pande island plagued by dragons. children but be warned, at the Convinced that there is more end of it you might be wanting a (1997) is regarded as a national to these creatures then just dragon of your own. treasure in his native Japan and his their fiery capacity to destroy, announcement that he would retire something his father Stoick the nepalitimes.com at the grand old age of 73 was met Chief (voiced with bombastic Trailer with dismay the world over. pleasure by Gerard Butler) is

BASIL EDWARD TEO MUST READ: Former Prime Minister Baburam Bhattarai, CA member Gagan Thapa, political analyst CK Lal and author Prashant Jha (l-r) at the launch of Jha’s book Battles of the New Republic on Monday at the City Museum in Kathmandu.

BASIL EDWARD TEO RELIGIOUS DUTY: A Buddhist devotee prostrates around Swayambhunath to mark the 15th day of the holy month of Saka Dawa on Friday.

DEVAKI BISTA UNHEARD PLEAS: Senior citizens stage a sit-in protest to demand their rights at New Baneshwor on Monday. It has been 17 months since the group began their protests. 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 13

It’s not that all six penalties weren’t earned, but save for Algeria, that who’s-who of elite football nations certainly breeds suspicions. The first half penalties didn’t help Spain PERFORMANCE ART and Uruguay from 5-1, and 3-1 thrashings however. MATT MILLER air, tumbles, face clutching, On the other hand, A New York Times volume and pitch of screams, article this week argued American values and nation of origin. like honesty and battling through contact, n Kathmandu it’s easy to see who the stars US Olympic swimming and more than their inability to dive, is the of the World Cup are. Hundreds of Messi diving coach Drew Johansen reason the valiant Americans don’t dive in Iand Cristiano Ronaldo jerseys crowd the told an Australian newspaper matches. Other American problems include streets. But the dramatic performances of “Similar to the sport of diving, making too much money, and having too a majority of other players and nations are it’s all about getting the judges much freedom. getting plenty of attention during the late- attention. I think Fred’s use of In addition to earning a penalty earlier night broadcasts. his arms really got the job done in the first half, 24 year-old German forward The first round of matches featured on that dive. I would score at Thomas Muller groped his face, crumpled only a single scoreless draw. However the 9.5 on the Olympic scale.” Add to his knees and yelled out after receiving tournament is getting less notoriety for to the fact that he plays for the a hand to his shoulder region from hot high-scoring and entertaining football, than home nation, that’s probably a tempered Portuguese defender Pepe. His an epidemic of play-acting, embellishment, 10.0 performance. rash reaction to the theatrics earned him a flopping, faking, diving and cheating. and Croatia accused Japanese referee Yuichi The judges of each perceived dive are red card. Ethical or not the performances Setting the tone in the opening match Nishimura of favoritism towards the host the millions of football fans who have taken earned Muller a hat trick, Germany a between the hosts Brazil and Croatia, nation. to Twitter to air their grievances. Each game dominating victory over a 10 man squad Brazilian striker Fred earned a penalty when It came at a crucial moment of the game, and kick of the ball is an onslaught of 140 from Portugal, and a highlight of Cristiano he jumped onto his backside, kicking his but Fred’s theatrics had more than just one characters or less, raking Diego Costa of Ronaldo angrily chasing down an official, feet high into the air like a cartoon character element of a quality dive that scores Spain for a dive in the box, or not playing brilliantly. who stepped on a banana peel, after the high with Olympic judges, and low equal numbers praising him or The most spectacular dive of the Croatian defender between him and the goal with fans. other nations’ honour on the tournament wasn’t embellishment at all, grabbed his shoulder. Dives are judged on a exact same play. Every play is but a brilliant diving header from Dutchman Fred’s dive ranks as the worst in a combination of elaborate and judged with equal scrutiny. Robin Van Persie against Spain. However tournament and sport where this is the difficult techniques including: The six penalties awarded most of the matches are a reminder that norm because of its impact on the outcome contorted facial expressions, hang in the first round of matches those watching at home playing the “Diving of the game. Brazil took a 2-1 lead in the time, jazz hands, knee and ankle were to Brazil, Spain, Uruguay, Drinking Game” will feel worse in the 71st minute of their eventual 3-1 victory, grab positions, revolutions in the Germany, France and Algeria. morning than the losing teams.

favourite: Kiss from Zuri (Rs 295). A chocolate truffle with a cream- cheesy topping and chocolate sauce, it’s decadent and sinful and just right for a meal that heavy and satisfying. The service was satisfactory, the restrooms clean and stocked he people who own the FRIENDS with tissue paper and water and much loved OR2K restaurant individual little towels to dry Tin Thamel have been dishing your hands. The people who up quality Asian fusion, Middle- own Friends should congratulate Eastern and Israeli vegetarian themselves on creating this little dishes for over a decade now. haven that promotes lounging They saw the demand that existed and eating and conversing: for the same type of food albeit the elements that make for a of the meaty variety and thus a memorable meal. I will definitely relatively new entrant to the eating be going back because there are out scene in Kathmandu came into so many tempting dishes still to being--Friends. sample and meals to savour. The place like the rest of the PICS: RUBY TUESDAY Ruby Tuesday world has succumbed to the World Cup fever and the walls were and icy cold, it is the perfect drink which is originally an Argentinean delicious. The steak filet mignon How to get there: In Thamel, enter emblazoned with flags of various to beat these summer blues. sauce made with garlic, olive (Rs 550) was as tasty, though the Mandala Street that starts opposite nations while pennants and The waiter recommended the oil, parsley and vinegar, and is a creamy mushroom sauce that Pumpernickel, and make your way streamers waved a merry dance chicken momos (Rs 250) and as must try. The barbequed chunks accompanied it was bland and past OR2K and The Last Resort in the breeze of the fans. The he was so inordinately proud of of perfectly grilled filet mignon boring. The mince used to make office and Friends is on your right, furniture painted in bright primary them we decided to humour him, (medium rare was my choice) the beef kebabs (Rs 475) had up a flight of stairs. colours and the cosy couches not expecting too much but to was meltingly soft and just been kneaded well with a variety create an aura that is cheery and our great delight the momos were of spices that helped the meat welcoming and it appealed to us delicious- steaming hot, moist absorb those flavours wonderfully immediately. The concept behind and delicately flavoured with just but the end product was dry and Friends was ‘inspired by exquisite ginger. No pre-packaged momo wasn’t capable of holding its own meals in the warm company of masala atrocities were committed in comparison to the other two friends from across the world’ here. The pinchos (Rs 275), our dishes we’d ordered. and their menu clearly reflects other starter, was an assortment The accompanying pickled that. Choices range from paella to of toppings -- fried mushroom cucumbers were delightful in their pies, stews to shwarmas, hot pots, with goat cheese, aubergine with own right- crisp and sour and burgers to tortillas, and no Nepali cheese, and salt-cured salmon with flavorsome. The beef kebabs were restaurant worth its salt would be organic goat cheese -- suitably doggie bagged and brought home, complete without momos. skewered onto toasted bread and sliced and tossed with tomatoes, The mint lemonade came made for a perfectly adequate cucumbers, coriander, yoghurt and replete with chunks of the freshly snack. stuffed into a chappati and made minced herb but required a good The steak shaslik (Rs 550) at for a delicious lunch the next day. stir from time to time. Refreshing Friends is served with chimichuri, The meal ended with an OR2K 14 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712

GIZMO by YANTRICK Physicians from Uppsala Dream Display was able to discover the lymphatic system in the human body which, until he World Cup is in full swing, and you are thinking of upgrading this time, was unknown. your 32-inch tv set. But the price tag of upwards of the Rs 700,000 He presented his findings Tmark many established tv brands put on their 65-inch televisions is to Queen Christina of threatening to derail your dreams of watching Cristiano Ronaldo dismissing Sweden in the spring defenders on a 65-inch HD slate. Thankfully, Chinese electronics giant of 1652, and she was TCL has recently launched its 65E5690 model. At almost half the price of suitably impressed and Samsung, Sony and LG 65-inchers, it’s easily the most aff ordable 65-inch helped him in his career. ULTRA HD smart tv in the Nepali market. In terms of intellectual The sixth-largest television producer in the world, TCL certainly knows content, Rudbeck is a thing or two about manufacturing good televisions, and it shows with not the only famous the 65E5690. With a stunning 65-inch panel adorning the front, and the physician from Uppsala. matte-black fi nish, along with a thin bezel, a silver metallic frame and a Physician and sturdy hexagonal base frame the TCL 65E5690 looks the part right out of botanist Carl Linnaeus the box. Power it on, and you immediately realise what the Ultra High from Uppsala laid the Defi nition (aka 4K) fuss is really about. Packing four times the resolution foundations for the of a regular full HD tv, sharpness and clarity take on a whole new meaning modern biological naming when you are watching 4K content. It can only be described in one scheme in botany. He is word, stunning. The 65E5690 boasts 2k-4k Conversion and Compatibility magine going to watch a chiefly for the sake of the medical known as the father of modern Technology. Simply, regular 1080p HD video on a 4k display produces dissection of a human corpse students, the Uppsala nobility taxonomy in botany, which better output than a 1080p display showing the same media. Being 3D- Iin a small amphitheatre (pic, also attended. It was the thing is a way of classifying plants. ready, TCL has also taken care of your 3D needs. above) as an after-dinner event. to do. There was no embalming Linnaeus’s The TCL 65E5690 This is exactly what the nobility of then, so the stench in the classification smart tv is powered Uppsala, Sweden did in the Middle dissection hall was like a physical was a challenge by Android version Ages. blow. Many handy supports were to memorise in 4.2, and runs on a The University of Uppsala built for people feeling sick to pre-medicine dual-core processor, in Sweden is renowned for its hold onto, and the walls of the training. and a Quad Core excellence in academia, but amphitheatre were painted a In the GPU. This allows for historically the most fascinating reddish colour so stains from present era, smooth multi-tasking people who became ill would be another and seamless running less prominent. important of pre-installed apps The amphitheatre, with its person in like Twitter, Facebook magnificent dome, is preserved medicine from and YouTube, with the today in a beautiful museum Uppsala is option of installing called the Gustavianum, next to Otto Cars. He additional apps via the world famous cathedral of has devoted the App Store. TCL DHANVANTARI has also incorporated Buddha Basnyat, MD Uppsala. almost his The tradition of dissection in entire career to research about its Gesture Control the amphitheatre was started by antibiotic resistance (ABR). Long technology in the 65E5690, which intuitively controls the smart tv via hand part of the university is the Olaf Rudbeck. He returned from before the alarming World Health gestures and body motion. Your connectivity needs are taken care of by anatomical dissections. The Leiden, Holland around the 1650s Organization report on ABR came the on-board two HDMI ports, two USB 2.0 ports, a USB 3.0 port, a SD church allowed only people who after receiving training in human out, Otto Cars in his self-effacing card slot, an AV port, a VGA port, and a LAN port. Optional gaming and were executed by the hangman dissection. He wanted to establish manner was always reminding the multimedia accessories like a wireless keyboard, wireless mouse Smart to be dissected. For prisoners a similar dissection environment world of the potential threat of Pen Kit, sound bar and camera allow for further enhancement of your executed by hanging, dissection as the one in Holland, so that ABR. entertainment and connectivity needs. was preferred, because then they medical students in his town The nearby Karolinska Institute would receive a proper Christian could have the same learning in Stockholm associated with the Yantrick’s Verdict: Retailing for approximately Rs 350,000, burial. experience. Nobel Prize in medicine may be this beauty is by no means cheap. However, if you are in the Human dissection was not for Rudbeck’s close attention better known, but clearly some market for a 65-inch Ultra HDTV, the TCL 65E5690 is defi nitely the faint of heart though. Although to detail during dissections in ground-breaking medical work has a bargain, an Ultra High-Defi nition bargain. the dissection was carried out the amphitheatre paid off. He been carried out in Uppsala too. 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 WORLD CUP 15 draw attention to their campaigns through football. At the same time, we should not overestimate the longer-run The beautiful mirage impact of football’s “feel-good” factor in influencing political and social events. After all, It is unreasonable to expect a World Cup by itself to Argentina’s hated junta collapsed guarantee political and social change just four years after the country’s World Cup triumph (following MARCELA MORA Y ARAUJO journalists were able to publicise its military defeat by Britain). in BUENOS AIRES the plight of the Madres of Plaza Although football victories de Mayo – the mothers of the have sometimes united bitter he eyes of the world, and disappeared – thus revealing to opponents, such truces have been especially those of South the world the regime’s grotesque all too ephemeral, and usually end TAmerica, are on Brazil as nature. soon after the final whistle blows. it stages the World Cup in June To separate political activism It is tempting to seek greater and July. Even weeks before from love of the game social, political or the event, football stories had is a false distinction. economic meaning been dominating the media, The two are often in football. But the and not just in the sports pages. intertwined, sometimes fact remains that Advertisers cannot get enough in the most extreme it is just a game – of it; companies are altering circumstances. beautiful, escapist production lines to cater to it; Opponents of the entertainment, but and politicians are postponing all Argentine junta were a game nonetheless. but their most essential meetings still keen to know the Great football may until after the final. outcome of matches, sometimes carry the Football’s magnetic force has even when they were narrative power of drawn supporters worldwide into than any other country, it is, if highly organised anti-World Cup locked away in clandestine a novel, the rhythm of poetry, intricate discussions over the anything, an understatement. protesters hoped to divert some detention centers. Indeed, torture ballet’s mesmerising sense of validity of a goal, the intention Latin American pride is of the vast sums spent on the survivors recount eerie exchanges wonder, and the adrenalin rush behind a foul, or the missed justified. Uruguayans still derive tournament into social programs. with their torturers about team of a rock concert; but, unlike opportunities of an attack. immeasurable satisfaction from In Argentina, opposition groups formations and goals scored. great art, it struggles for influence Such debates will be especially their soccer successes, including worry that the government will For today’s activists, the beyond its realm. animated in South America’s two World Cup triumphs back in use these crucial weeks to bury choice may not be whether It is unreasonable to expect a three main footballing countries – 1930 and 1950, and a semifinal in bad news. to support or oppose the World Cup by itself to generate Brazil, Argentina, and Uruguay – South Africa in 2010. Argentina While these concerns are tournament, but how to use it lasting change. The tournament’s whose people view success on the has twice held the trophy, and undoubtedly valid, the broader to further their ends. Surely, the ability to turn the eyes of the field as signifying more than just boasts two of the game’s greatest question is whether protesting, unprecedented global attention planet onto a single ball is sporting prowess. players ever, Diego Maradona boycotting or banning such events must provide opportunities. The truly impressive but ultimately “Football is the one area in and Lionel Messi. And Brazil’s encourages or impedes social and business community certainly meaningless. For the duration which we can compete with roll call of heroes includes Pelé, political change. For example, understands the potential, given of the match, we are entranced; the big countries of the world Garrincha, Ronaldo, Ronaldinho, Argentina’s military dictatorship, the masses of football-related afterwards, everything returns to as equals,” remarked Daniel and Neymar, to name only a few. which staged the 1978 consumer goods, high retail how it was. Passarella, Argentina’s former However, the competition also competition, sought to bolster its mark-ups on sportswear and national coach. This is certainly has its detractors. People will talk own position by sharing in the blanket advertising both on and Marcela Mora y Araujo is a true for Argentina and Uruguay; of nothing else, while pressing host team’s ultimate victory. But, off the pitch. Non-governmental football specialist, writer, and in the case of Brazil which has social, economic and political with the world’s media attention organisations working for social broadcaster. won the tournament more often questions are left to fester. Brazil’s focused on Argentina, Dutch improvement can find ways to www.project-syndicate.org 16 NATION 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 STATE OF STATELESSNESS JAN MØLLER HANSEN

A PAKISTANI REFUGEE ATTENDING SCHOOL IN KATHMANDU

t is well known that Nepal is home to thousands of refugees from Bhutan and Tibet, but what goes unnoticed is the growing number of asylum seekersI from trouble spots around the world. Many from Somalia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Bangladesh, Burma and Iraq arrive here in the hope that the UN Refugee Agency (UNHCR) will facilitate third- country resettlement, or they are FOURTH GENERATION OF TIBETAN REFUGEES duped by human traffickers who bring them to Nepal with the promise of flying them to Europe from Kathmandu airport on forged documents. UNHCR is taking care of at least 500 ‘urban refugees’, but the actual number is probably much higher. A PAKISTANI REFUGEE FROM THE AMADIYAA COMMUNITY FOUR GENERATIONS OF NAMGYAL DOLMA’S FAMILY HAVE LIVED IN NEPAL Nepal denies on-arrival visas to 11 countries, but many cross the open border from India. The Nepal government treats them as illegal migrants and they amass fines of $6 a day for overstaying. There are only three exit strategies for urban refugees: repatriation to the home country, third-country resettlement or THESE TWO BURMESE REFUGEES LIVE WITH THEIR MOTHER IN A SUBURB OF KATHMANDU integration in Nepal. Nepal has not signed the 1951 UN convention on refugees that would ensure legal and economic rights to those forced

to flee their homelands, and the BURMESE REFUGEES FROM THE CHIN COMMUNITY ALL PICS: JAN MØLLE RHANSEN government is keen to discourage UNHCR from recognising and Some of the images of refugees supporting more refugees for fear from Tibet, Burma, Pakistan, and that Nepal could turn into a hub Somalia who live in Kathmandu for human trafficking. by Jan Møller Hansen featured REFUGEE STORIES On World Refugee Day on here will be on display. 20-30 June 20 June, UNHCR presents a ten- Sunir Pandey City Museum day photo exhibition, Refugee Darbar Marg, Kathmandu Stories, with documentary film nepalitimes.com Facebook.com/unhcrnepal screenings and talk programs at Axis of Despair, #107 www.TheCityMuseum.org the City Museum in Darbar Marg. TIBETAN REFUGEE STUDENTS PERFORM A CULTURAL DANCE AT A COMMUNITY SCHOOL 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 NATION 17 Refugees-in-waiting With most Bhutan refugees resettled in third countries, some families are abandoned again

GOPAL GARTOULA associated with a terrorist in JHAPA organisation. He had been caught extorting money from fellow- refugees eight years ago. ebimaya Sarki remembers The other 27 members of the chilly evening of 5 Ram Bahadur’s extended family, DJanuary 2010 well. She was including father, mother, five investigation. Among those is in her hut in the Timai Camp for brothers and four sisters have also Lilaprasad Bhujel, 31, a refugees from Bhutan, where she already been settled in Ohio. refugee from Bhutan who met had been living for nearly 20 years After being prevented from Sita Bhujel, 27, from Heklang after being forced out of leaving, Ram Bahadur’s of Palpa district at a church. her homeland. wife Purna Maya left They got married in 2007, but GOPAL GARTOULA A young woman and him and lives separately by then Lilaprasad’s first wife, a teenage girl with a two- with their son in Karna Maya, had already left for criminal records, or have been refugees. There are a hundred week baby pleaded to let the Camp, and their the US with their seven-year-old found to be affiliated with or more families living outside them spend the night, resettlement papers are son. His father and mother have “terrorist organisations.” Beldangi waiting and hoping saying they were from being processed. Ram also been resettled in America. There are some refugees that they will also one day be a village outside and night had Bahadur himself married again “They say I am not eligible who don't want to be resettled, included. fallen while carrying the sick child and runs a provision store in the for resettlement until I can prove but they are exceptions. Some to the health post. Camp. I am divorced from Karna Maya,” 1,974 refugees without identity nepalitimes.com There are an estimated says a dejected Lilaprasad. UN papers who had been rejected The three spent the night in Debimaya’s daughter, #551 200 other refugees whose sources say most of those whose resettlement went on an 11-day Debimaya’s Timai Camp Sector D5 Gross national Sadness, #551 resettlement documents have applications have been withheld hunger strike in 2012, and 1,800 Hut Number 46. Next morning, the Huddled masses, #623 two had disappeared leaving the been either rejected or are under have multiple marriages, have of them were finally registered as baby behind. Debimaya named the baby Angela, (pic, right) and she grew up with her children Jipesh and Apsana. Four years later, Debimaya’s resettlement process is stuck because of that act of kindness. Her relatives have all been resettled around the world, but because of Angela, Debimaya’s family cannot leave. “I cannot abandon her again here, I raised her,” Debimaya pleads, “but the sirs at UNHCR and IOM say I can’t take her with me.” Debimaya’s own daughter was two when Angela was abandoned in her hut, and she breast-fed the undernourished Angela along with her own daughter. “She sleeps on my lap, I raised her, and did everything except give birth to Angela. She is my daughter,” says Debimaya. But UNHCR (the UN Refugee Agency) and IOM (International Organisation for Migration) say they are bound by rules that only refugees are allowed to be resettled. So far nearly 90,000 of the 120,000 refugees have been resettled in a process that started in 2008, mostly to the United States (see map). Ram Bahadur Baniya, 30, of Sanischare Camp of Morang district also used to live in Timai Camp and was ready to leave for the US, but in April the Department of Homeland Security rejected his application for being

STILL COMING Even 23 years after more than 100,000 people of Nepali origin were driven out of Bhutan, refugees are still arriving in the camps. Buddhahang and Panchamaya Subba arrived last year with six family members in Beldangi. Driven out of their ancestral village of Dagana in southern Bhutan, the Subbas lived in Sikkim for 15 years and worked in a farm in Ilam for six years. One of Buddhahang’s sons, Suk Bahadur, is married to a Nepali from Taplejung, and all live in a hut in Beldangi that has just been vacated by a family which has already left for the US. But their refugee application has still not been approved. However, the Camp authorities say they doubt recent refugees will be permitted resettlement. 18 FROM THE NEPALI PRESS 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 Who’s where in Nepal LOCAL SPENDING Ameet Dhakal, TOP 10: Setopati.com, 11 June Rameswor Khanal in Himal Khabarpatrika, 15-21 June .7516 KAYASTHA In terms of representation, .7403 opportunities and social and HILL BAHUN The annual budget looks at the allocation economic well-being, the .7173 for development under a three-year Kayastha caste of the Tarai THAKALI plan. Up to 60 per cent of this comes is ahead of everyone else in .7052 from foreign aid. Nepal government Nepal, an extensive study by THAKURI has to raise the rest from taxes and the Central Department of .6852 revenue. The 2-3 per cent of the budget Sociology and Anthropology NEWAR (amounting to up to Rs 20 billion) that at Tribhuvan University .6807 is set aside for small local projects have RAJPUT shows. always been mired in controversy. Local At second and third are .6782 TARAI BRAHMIN roads, bridges and irrigation projects is Shouts: “Goaaal, goaaal” Hill Brahmin and Thakalis also where there is the most interference Dog: “They keep shouting, these mongrels!” .6777 respectively. Hill castes CHHETRI and abuse. Elected lawmakers, ministers such as Chetris, Thakuris, and local political cadre lobby hard to get Robin Sayami in Nagarik, 19 June .6772 Sannyasis and Tarai groups SANNYASI projects allocated to their constiuencies.

like Rajput, Tarai Brahmin, MPs take delegations to meet the Finance QUOTE OF THE WEEK .6770 and Marwadis also make MARWADI Ministry and apply pressure. Then there “ the top 10. The bottom 10 are the property owning class which tries This government is mentally ill, so we can’t consists mostly of Hill and to profi t from the proximity of new roads. Tarai Dalit castes. BOTTOM 10: Although large infrastructure projects are “expect anything from it. The study considers 39 important for long-term development, important factors, among local development when responsibly .4138 MJF-N Chairman Upendra Yadav on ekantipur.com, them economic, political, KAMI executed is still our best bet to ensure a social, cultural, gender, 19 June .4136 dramatic improvement in people’s lives. literacy etc. Based on a scale BING/BINDA If one believes that development can where one is the best possible .4106 only be possible through decentralised score, castes are ranked (see CHAMARA/HARIJAN/RAM decision-making then these projects must chart) on their inclusiveness .4063 be implemented at the district level. in Nepali society. This is the HALKHOR There is less chance of the project being most detailed study done on .4023 hijacked and more likely that the amount DUSADH/PASWAN/PASI Budget bungling inclusion so far and shows will be spent. A budget is eff ective when .3884 which castes need or can do TATMA such small irrigation, road and water without the state’s help. supply systems are built locally. There is Bijay Devkota in Karobar, 18 June sector, UML has been pressing for .3786 “We have been debating PATHARKATA/KUSWADIYA relatively more accountability and checks- infrastructure development with a inclusivity for so long in this and-balance at the local level. Of course, focus on roads. .3708 country, but no one ever had KHATWE things would have been even better if Preparations for the upcoming “Infrastructure should be the the numbers to prove it. Now budget have become uncertain after main priority in the upcoming .3638 local elections were held. Transparency we can get a clear picture,” DOM is the most eff ective way to fi ght budget political interference and pressure budget with roads being first on the says Om Gurung, professor at .3274 misuse. from lawmakers for allocations list followed by energy, agriculture TU, who led the study team. MUSAHAR have distorted emphasis on priority and irrigation,” says Chandra Mani areas. Adhikari, NPC member from UML. “The main priority of the Though the largest party in budget should be agriculture the parliament is pushing for and energy but we cannot prioritising the energy sector, a allocate significant budget for majority of the CA members have these sectors,” says Govinda Raj demanded infrastructure in their Pokharel, the newly appointed home districts. “Despite pushing vice chairman of the National for energy, 80 per cent of the Planning Commission. “Unless projects that have been demanded donor assistance increases, revenue are regarding construction of roads collection goes up or the unspent and bridges,” says Pokharel.

money in the current fiscal year is The push for infrastructure allocated for the coming year, the development in the budget is budget allocation for these areas mainly due to the vested interests won’t increase.” of political parties to control local The NPC has set a budget politics through such projects. ceiling of Rs 596 billion for the According to Pokharel, next fiscal year, but it looks like allocating a huge sum of money the government will struggle to on a few priority areas doesn’t balance this with the demands necessarily yield better results and from political parties and other the budget is unspent and lapses. interest groups for pork-barrel The government had allocated funds for their districts. around Rs 13 billion for the energy Differences over budget priority sector this year but many projects among the parties in the ongoing couldn’t move forward because pre-budget discussions have also of disputes over compensation. made it difficult to narrow down Similarly, only 70 per cent of the the priority areas. While the Nepali allocated capital budget of Rs 85 Congress has tried to prioritise billion is set to be spent by the end the development of the energy of the current fiscal year. 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 HEALTH 19 Life with sickle cell Little known genetic disorder that afflicts Nepal’s Tharu population needs urgent government attention What is sickle cell disease? he head nurse in the Regular round red blood cells in sweltering Bheri Zonal patients are replaced with sickle-shaped THospital in Nepalgunj goes red blood cells which get stuck in the through patient files. She stops veins, deplete oxygen fl ow and cause at one of them and says, “Every severe body pain in patients. It is a week we get a couple of new genetic disorder inherited from both cases of sickle cell disease.” the mother and father, and affl icts the Since 2011, the hospital has Tharu community in the Tarai. received numerous Tharu patients In 2008, with chest and joint pains and the UN declared recurring jaundice: common sickle cell symptoms of sickle cell disease disease a global in which regular round red blood public health cells are replaced with sickle- problem and shaped red blood cells which get dedicated 19 June to be World Sickle stuck in the veins, deplete oxygen Cell Day. In Nepal, patients are flow and cause severe body pain demanding government support for in patients. awareness, diagnosis and treatment. In the past three years the number of patients diagnosed with sickle cell has increased to 1 over 250. It is a genetic disorder 1 PATIENT PATIENTS: Basmati inherited from both the mother Chaudhary (seated far left) has been and father, and afflicts the Tharu borrowing money to treat her son Anish community in Nepal’s Tarai (center standing) who has suff ered from sickle cell disease ever since he was plains. born. It is suggested that sickle cell disease is prevalent in areas 2 Buddhi Ram Tharu (far left) and his affected by malaria because the son Deepak Tharu, seated next to his gene for sickle cell provides its father, both are sickle cell disease carrier with resistance against patients. Buddhi Ram takes a bus malaria. The Tharus who have to Kathmandu each month for his son’s a sevenfold lower prevalence treatment. of malaria than non-Tharus are indigenous to the Tarai 3 Moti Ram Chaudhary works at the “When I first consulted my village health post in Phatepur, Banke senior doctors, they did not and is a sickle cell disease patient who believe the test results for sickle 2 3 was misdiagnosed with Hepatitis B. cell disease,” recalls Rajan Pande, the only doctor keeping track of to go every month? I am already lot of loans and we are still taking but his mother fears that even her The three authors the disease. “Most of my patients Rs 700,000 in debt.” out loans,” says Basmati. “Where younger son could be suffering are students at Yale do not know about sickle cell Basmati Chaudhary, a mother do I get money for my son’s from the same condition, as he University working on a disease. They come here, having of five, says her eldest son Anish treatments?” complains frequently of joint pilot research and education previously been diagnosed with has been sick since he was born. Anish’s younger brother has pains. project for sickle cell disease hepatitis, arthritis, and some Anish is 27 now, and his family gone to India to earn money to Priyankar Chand, Emtithal in western-Nepal. come with no diagnosis at all.” is heavily indebted. “We have a pay for his brother’s treatment Mahmoud and Rushika Pattni [email protected] Pande took us to the ward to meet Moti Ram Tharu whom he diagnosed last year. His skin was yellowed by jaundice, arm firmly strapped to a steadily emptying IV. The 46-year-old office assistant from a village health post in Banke said he was diagnosed with Hepatitis B in Lucknow and took expensive medicines for two years. “When I went back to Lucknow, they told me I tested negative for Hepatitis B," Moti Ram said. Sickle cell disease is like diabetes because it requires long term care and medication. The family needs to manage the disease for life which is a severe financial burden for most Tharu patients. Patients from Banke, Bardiya, Dang and Kailali travel for hours to buy their medications in Nepalganj. For others, such as Buddhi Ram Tharu, the trip doesn’t end there. Five years ago Buddhi Ram’s son Deepak was diagnosed with sickle cell disease in Kathmandu’s Teaching Hospital. Since then he has been making regular trips to Kathmandu for his son's required blood transfusions. “I come from a humble background, and going to Kathmandu every month is very expensive,” Buddhi Ram says. “How can I have the money 20 BACK SIDE 20 - 26 JUNE 2014 #712 www.nepalitimes.com www.nepalitimes.com

PAST PRESENT FUTURE Weapons of ass destruction DIWAKAR CHETTRI

ecently, the Ass has been kept 18, a proposal for this is being tabled in dares to invade Singha Darbar. awake nights worrying about the the Constipation Assembly as we speak.  Rfalling self-esteem of Nepalis, and Coupled with nuclear warheads, Nepal will trying to come up with ideas so the then have the largest standing army in the Then we come to the most secret weapon international community will take us uncivilised world. No one will even think in our military arsenal and urinal: Nepal’s seriously once again. of hepo-ing us then. highly secretive biological weapons France is the latest country to stop program which is so hush-hush that even issuing visas in Kathmandu. If you want  the prime minister doesn’t know about it, to go to France you have to apply for a Many people don’t know that national which is not saying much, I admit. visa in Delhi. Any self-respecting country prestige projects like Melamchi, Hetauda  would then retaliate by cancelling visa on Fast Track and Chundevi Road Widening arrival for French nationals and requiring are delayed because of the top priority For centuries Nepal kept out foreign them to apply in Côte d’Ivoire for their given to finishing the Republic Tower in invaders by deploying malaria-carrying Nepali visas. Similarly, in the female anopheles mosquitos spirit of reciprocity, Australians along our southern border. We would have to apply in Fiji, and were never colonised because Italians at the Nepal Embassy in of our Mozzie Army. But since Addis. Wait, we have no embassy the eradication of malaria in the in Addis? Serves the Italians Tarai, we have no forward line right. of defence and need new ways to  conduct germ warfare. For this, the Nepal Army’s clandestine There is a point when a country Bio Warfare Division is culturing just throws up its hands and genetically-modified versions says: “Enough is enough of of the Vibrio cholerae and being kicked around. We are Giardia lamblia bacteria which going to start work on developing can blow up the gastro-intestinal weapons of mass destruction.” tubes of sworn enemies with Here, our role model is North explosive force. The two bacteria Korea, known to close friends as the Kirtipur. When it is completed next year, have already proved to be highly effective Democratic People’s Republic of the this erectile dysfunction which bears a in foiling a tourist invasion of Nepal. Kim Dynasty. striking resemblance to an Intercontinental Covertly infiltrated into the endoplastic  Ballistic Missile on a launch pad will serve reticulum, the germs wreak havoc on as Nepal’s strategic deterrent because not the digestive tract of potential invaders Now that the Department of Geology and only is it such an ugly structure that it will and make them think twice about entering Mines has found vast deposits of uranium repel all enemies on sight, but from spy Nepal’s Toilet-Free Buffer Zone again. in Mustang, we must immediately start satellites it will look like we already have  buying up centrifuges, incubators and long-range delivery vehicles for our nukes. physics professors to turn the fuel rods Understandably, Nepal hasn’t publicised into weapons-grade plutonium in a top  this highly classified project, but that secret underground facility behind Om’s And did you know that Nepal is also doesn’t mean the international community Home in Jomsom. Just like DPRK defeated working on a top secret drones program? can ride roughshod over us. We should be two imperialisms with its bare hands, our I could tell you about it, but then I’d have able to tell them: “Don’t ride roughshod national motto should be: “We will arm to kill you. Anyway, if you promise not over us, you big fat bullies, otherwise ourselves to our gills, even if we have no to breathe a word of this to anyone, I can we will paralyse your command and gills.” divulge in strictest confidence that the control system with verbal  drone project is already mass producing diarrhoea and force you salaried civil servants who do nothing all to sign a mutual non- The other much overdue proposal day. These drones may look like they are aggression pact.” that will force farangs to treat Nepalis asleep at their desks, but they are decoys. with a little more respect is mandatory Actually, they are trained to wake up and conscription for all Nepali males above deliver groin kicks to any foreign army that The Ass

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