THE PHELLoWSHiP PHRoNT Volume 19 (2nd generation) SUMMER TOUR 2009 WELCOME BACK! Some of us are still reeling from Hampton... and Summer Tour is upon us! After almost 5 years, Phish has returned! 27 shows planned; starting and ending in the East. From playing in a beloved baseball park to headlining 2 nights at Bonnaroo, both of which are a first for Phish, the boys are back in action!

05/31 - Fenway Park - Boston, MA Who are we? 06/02 - Nikon at Jones Beach Theater - Wantagh, NY The Phellowship is a group of Phish Heads 06/04 - Nikon at Jones Beach Theater - Wantagh, NY who choose to remain drug and alcohol free. We are not 06/05 - Nikon at Jones Beach Theater - Wantagh, NY affiliated with any other sober music-fan organization or 06/06 - Comcast Center - Mansfield, MA recovery program. The Phellowship has absolutely no 06/07 - Susquehanna Bank Center - Camden, NJ opinion on the issue of drugs and alcohol, and neither 06/09 - Asheville Civic Center - Asheville, NC condemns or condones it. Our simple purpose is to provide 06/10 - Thompson-Boling Arena - Knoxville, TN "phellowship," support and information to those who seek 06/12 - Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival, Manchester, TN the comfort and camaraderie of other clean and sober 06/14 - Bonnaroo Music & Arts Festival, Manchester, TN people at shows. The only requirement for membership is a 06/16 - Fox Theatre - St. Louis, MO desire to stay substance-free at shows. Though The 06/18 - Post Gazette Pavilion - Burgettstown, PA Phellowship consists primarily of those recovering from 06/19 - Verizon Wireless Music Center - Noblesville, IN addiction, we are open to anyone who wishes to remain 06/20 - Alpine Valley - East Troy, WI clean and sober at shows. 06/21 - Alpine Valley - East Troy, WI 07/30 - Red Rocks Amphitheatre - Morrison, CO 07/31 - Red Rocks Amphitheatre - Morrison, CO What is our mission? 08/01 - Red Rocks Amphitheatre - Morrison, CO It is not our intention to segregate ourselves 08/02 - Red Rocks Amphitheatre - Morrison, CO from the greater Phish community. Sometimes the 08/05 - Shoreline Amphitheatre - Mountain View, CA predominance of intoxicating substances at shows 08/07 - The Gorge - George, WA and on tour can be trying for those people who 08/08 - The Gorge - George, WA choose to remain clean and sober. It is our hope 08/11 - Toyota Park - Chicago, IL that knowledge of The Phellowship’s experience 08/13 - Darien Lake Performing Arts Center - Darien will help those in need realize they are not alone; Center, NY that others are nearby with whom they share a 08/14 - Meadows Music Theater - Hartford, CT common bond. With comfort and security in place, 08/15 - Merriweather Post Pavilion - Columbia, MD they may join in, and experience the freedom and 08/16 - Saratoga Performing Arts Center joy that Phish is really all about. We hope that The - Saratoga Springs, NY Phellowship will offer a bridge to those in need so

that all individuals may join in and… GET BACK

ON THE TRAIN!

A little history... The Phellows hip has had a presence on the Phish.Net since early 1996 with the first official meeting not occurring until Halloween of that year at the Omni in Atlanta, GA. It was there that a fledgling group of clean and sober fans were allowed to set up a table inside the venue to serve as a meeting place for those who choose to remain clean and sober at shows. After a few more gatherings met with success that fall, the group came back in the summer of 1997 and has been on Phish tour ever since. (With a break between Coventry 04 and Hampton 09) In that time, membership has blossomed and thousand's of people have come to know The Phellowship, several calling themselves members. Whether recovering from addiction or just choosing to refrain from mind altering substances, teams of clean and sober fans gather at the table each night of tour and share in the freedom and joy that seeing Phish is all about. Having absolutely no opinion on issues relating to drugs or alcohol, The Phellowship wishes to simply make itself available to those who seek a clean and sober environment at shows. Hey my name is Barrett c from CA I can't remember how I found and now a few words from our phamily home of the Grateful Dead. Saw my out about the phellowship, but I first Phish show in Hollywood in 93 found my way to the table for and was hooked. Got sober 8/5/96, Welcome back kidz, it's about time! From all the good- the first time on 7/1/00 Hartford don’t remember first sober phish byes at Coventry, to the hugs and greetings of a new ct. with 4 month's clean. The show I think it was at the Greek era of Phish on tour. Woo Hoo!!! As we fire up the only thing I remember was the Theater also in Hollywood. First Phellowship again, I want you all to know how set brake meeting, watching the east coast show was at Oswego, saw absolutely grateful I am to see our Phamily get back fireworks from the Hartford Phish for Europe 98 tour. I didn’t together after such a long time. I want to thank the river fest, BIG show. As I was even know there was a table until WaterWheel people for being so accommodating with sitting there I was filled with right before hiatus. I knew about the us once more, and helping us to be present at every gratitude for being clean at a Wharf Rats but I just assumed that show. We could not do it without them. I want to thank phish show and attending a there was no table for Phish. When Tom Ryan for stepping up to the plate as webmaster meeting. To this day that I found out about The Phellowship it and he will continue to update our new site at meeting is still in my top just took it to the next level. Okay www.phellowship.net. Thanks goes out to Amanda three, just blew me away. Never since Coventry, which by the way from Cape Cod as well for volunteering to be our got to work a table for the was a complete joke, I have newsletter person, and a special thanks to all those who Phellowship but did get to a few completed a masters degree in volunteered to be of service working the tables shows where they were there. educational admin, gotten married throughout the tour. Remember it is a privilege for us Most of my time clean I’ve been (to an obscene normie, when it to be here and I hope everyone enjoys the special doing service work at dozen's of comes to shows and addiction) and magic we have as an organization of a clean and sober show's with other like minded bought some properties. Still phamily. Once again, we can hang out together before fellowship's mostly in CT. If continued to see my first love, the show, catch a meeting at set break, and meet like- you found the yellow balloons in grateful dead music, and various minded people that in my case, includes phriends I this area the last nine yrs I was other thangs. Thank God for these have made over these past 12 years that have remained probably at the table. So the tables, they just make going to so to this date. As we reorganize, and get settled in, only thing I can say re: post shows even better. I represent there will be more service positions available and I Coventry is that my service SoCal Lakers, dodgers, rams?, ucla. urge you to get involved to help keep the Phellowship grows and it helps me grow. I So to all of you Boston, New York, alive and well for many years to come. Make phriends, really love working tables and blah blah blah pHans. Sorry Barry get numbers, and find the people who will help you to giving back what was so freely don’t play that. Life is grand and enjoy the music, and most importantly, live life, happy, given to me. I can tell you this, phish IS. Barret c joyous and phree! Finally, none of this would be when ever I take a commitment I really need to take a look at my possible were it not for Mama Paige who was there atAfter Coventry, my life spiraled out of intention's and m otivation's from the very beginning and remains involved to oucontrol.r deeper into addiction and because working a table is not ensure continued presence at the shows. Thank you aalcoholisll m. in march of 08, i got sober, about me, it's not a free ticket, it all for being part of this wonderful experience and thank you HP. is and always will be about you keeping me clean and sober a day at a time. When the news broke about phish and carrying a message that you Love and Hugs, Robert reuniting at Hampton, I wanted to be to don’t have to get high to fly. If Hi Phriends! I just wanted to say that I am so be there, but I was scared. All those you’re new to this way of li fe or excited to see the new and revitalized Phellowship triggers! But my one year of sobriety to the Phellowship It's the energy and at everyone is sharing would be phish’s last night of the 3 night WELCOME, keep coming back, excitement that has really gotten us back on our run. I recalled a group phans. I had seen it’s cheaper. See you in Hartford feet. It's really neat to me to see on our online them, wearing yellow stickers and eating august 14. In loving service, membership directory how many people have candy, sitting under a banner I thought Jay O. gotten sober since the break up. That means that was so awesome because of the “ph” many of you will be experiencing the wonderful delight of your way they spelled phellowship. I FIRST SOBER SHOW!! What a treat to really feel the music remembered them sitting in a circle at set coursing through your veins--not something else (and you get to breaks, so I looked it up online and the remember the set list)! A few tips for newbies--go to the show with rest is history! Hampton was amazing a sober friend (if you don't have one--make one at the table), check because of the safety net this phellowship in at the table as often as you like, make sure you catch the set provided for me. Thank you to the break meeting (almost always a real heart warmer) and don't forget founding fathers, I need this group and its to see what you can BRING to the occasion. I always have a better here for those who want to stay sober at time when I'm thinking of others instead of what I can get out of it. shows. What a gift! The phellows and our Speaking of, there's still plenty of room to get more involved with The Phellowship, so shoot me an email if you'd like to help out! I commonalities have made the dream of hope you all have a fantastic summer and I can't wait to hear about seeing Phish again, only sober, a reality. i all the great Phellowship moments to come. Thanks to all, both old am grateful and i am not alone . see you and new, for keeping The Phellowship alive and being an integral on tour! Amanda ☺ part of my sobriety. Love, Mama Paige Since Coventry I... Since Coventry I...got sober, got married, bought a house, got a dog, and graduated from found myself "from the bottom" before college. It's been a busy five years! I learned to be "from the top". I had All of the excitement of seeing Phish again has also given me an opportunity to reflect on spent all of my Phishing years (1995- my past experiences seeing Phish, none of which were sober. The other day I was specifically thinking about the last time I saw Phish (the complete disaster we call 2003) under the influence of a variety Coventry). I had gone to treatment for the second time between Summer Tour 2003 and of items. But around the time Phish Summer Tour 2004 and had managed to stay sober only for 2-3 months or so. Against my called it quits, I was flirting with better judgement I decided to go to all of the summer shows as they were going to be the disaster. From 2004-2006 I slipped into last ever and the whole operation was a mess. I did not enjoy a minute of it as I knew there Darkness, enslaved by a narcotic was a better way to live my life available to me. By the time Coventry rolled around I really master. By the Grace of God, hated myself. The weather, the mood, and the music of the festival really reflected what I SOMETHING "stepped into space", felt like inside (miserable). After the last show, during which I did a considerable amount of and I asked for a helping hand. On 11- crying for the enjoyable life I once had seeing Phish, I spent the last of my money on a big 22-06 I began a doc-assisted program oxy so I could be properly sedated and sleep that night. I forgot all of the pain I was in that allowed me to re-learn how to live once I had that in my hand. However, I had gone to the show with my Father (we used tour life un-high. It was a long, slow together quite often) and he was aware of my recent attempt at sobriety. I'm sure he knew I had failed as I was on copious amounts of LSD and whatever else the whole weekend. process, but I was able to be true to the Anyways I decided to hit of the Port-O-John on my way back to the tent to indulge in my program, and consumed no alcohol or new purchase. As I was stripping the coating off of the pill, it slipped out of my hands and other drugs. Finally, on 12-12-08, I into the toilet. I wondered how this could have happened, what kind of cruel joke was being was blessed to trade in my transition played on me? I needed that and I had no money left. I fished out my flashlight and meds for 12-Step Recovery. And I thought "I'll just look to see if I can even see it" I thought. I'll worry about what to do if I can have never felt so FREE! find it. Well I searched through the mess at the bottom and thankfully, I could not see it. So as it turns out, my Phish-less years I stood in there for another few minutes, wondering what I had become and how it involved a HUGE Life Lesson. I happened. All I ever wanted to do was enjoy my life and see good music. This was not learned what it meant to be in what I bargained for. I was disturbed becaue I knew that if I saw the pill I would have done

Darkness. I learned what it takes to whatever it took to get it. That experience about summed up what had become of my climb out from the Pit, to break free "good times" with Phish. The music was sloppy, the band was a mess, and so was I. Maybe it was just my perception, but the crowd seemed to get shadier and shadier as well. from the shackles. And, thanks to the I grieved for what was lost and wondered what would ever replace what filled such a large Higher Power I call God, I continually part of my life. I walked out of the Port-O-John and knew there must be more to life. Not learn how to live FREE. And it is with long after that, and a short stint in Hamilton County jail (Noblesville, IN) I checked into long this Experience that I am now, after six term treatment and have been sober ever since. long years, about to see PHISH again! Four years later my life is truly amazing, thanks to the program I am a member of. I have The opportunity to see Phish with a recently graduated from college, married a woman in the program, bought a house and a clear heart/mind/Soul fills me with Joy. dog, and will be starting a Ph.D. program in the fall. Best of all, I haven't had to search in a

And knowing that The Phellowship is pile of crap for anything! I no longer live my life in fear, nor do I struggle with obsessions here, proving that it's OK (and even for drugs and alchohol...truly a miracle. I have been able to go to shows over the last four phun!) to be a sober Phan, makes me years and truly enjoy the music without worrying about anything, where the next one will smile. SO grateful to be here, now, come from, when this one will wear off, how I'm going to get to the next show, the list goes on and on. I'm sure I don't need to explain the excitement I felt when I heard that Phish taking in One Show at a Time! would be playing again. I missed the Hampton shows as I now have responsibilities to Rosemary R., Mobile, AL attend to (a new lesson for me) and am already losing sleep about the summer shows. Great Woods can't come soon enough for me! I'm am truly looking forward to meeting all Since Coventry I got of you this summer and am eternally grateful that this group exists as I am not worried sober/clean. I got sober in about feeling alone! Douglas R. Grand Junction, CO after getting arrested. I went to a * With 805 messages on The Phellowship Forum in March, we have Salvation Army 6 month in- all been busy getting back into the swing of things, talking recovery patient treatment center. I and talking Phish. We’ve added a message board to the have been sober/clean since 4/2008. Phellowship.net as well. join in! I moved 3 times. I lived in Mt. The turn out was great at Hampton; lots of heads seeing Phish hood area, Lake Tahoe, and sober for the first time, (and many seasoned veterans seeing Phish Telluride. To help myself stay sober again!) With some great meetings at set breaks and old in one place I am starting phriends meeting new phriends. school in the fall of 2009 to The tables are staffed for summer tour and the Phells are getting study art, eventually becoming connected. This summer is shaping up to be like no other. We are all a teacher. Kevin M. Grand Junction, CO so very happy to have the band back in action!*

Look for the YELLOW BALLOONS PHELLOWSHIP BANNER at shows. You can even catch a meeting between sets all tour! For more information please contact a member listed on this page

* For general information/questions/comments about the Phellowship: [email protected]

* If you would like to make a donation to The Phellowship, or have inquiries about the treasury: [email protected]

* For specific questions about the history of our organization, or if you're interested in covering a story on The Phellowship, contact Paige C at [email protected]

* if you have over 1 year in recovery, and are interested in working a Phellowship table near you, contact Robert C at [email protected]

* For webpage related questions or suggestions, contact Tom R at [email protected]

* If you would like to contribute a story, picture, poem, etc. to the Phellowship newsletter, contact Amanda M at [email protected]