Week 6 - Week 7, Semester 1, 2014 First Published 1953 Volume 60, No. 041

University of NSW’s Independent Student Newspaper

EDITORIAL 2 LETTERS 3 SHORTLIST 4 COLUMN 4 NEWS 5-8 Poor accessibility at COFA 5 Matthew Baker Party before the protest 6 Matthew Bugden Student with disabilities 7 draw the short straw Nick Timms New academic withdrawal 8 procedure raises concerns Crystal Moran Why it’s still worth giving a 8 Gonski Michaela Vaughan FEATURES 9-10 The Chaser’s Andrew Hansen, 9 on being a theatre wanker Freya King The biggest winner is still 10 the Academy Albert Santos LEFT VS. RIGHT 11 OPINION 14-17 The real life sentence 14 Tia Singh Increased fees deserve a 14 second look Linda Ma In defence of the right to 15 offend Christopher Wong What’s the deal with kale? 17 Laksha Prasad COMIC & CREATIVE 16-17 Nudio 16 Paden Hunter Love Bacon 17 Amos Robinson

REVIEWS 18-19 SRC, PGC REPORTS 20 SATIRE 21 SPORT 22-24 In defence of the last sport peo- 22 ple would expect me to follow Sarah Fernandes Is Formula One too quiet? 22 Sam Davies Li Na’s No. 1 Fantasy 23 Lawrence Leung UniGames in Sydney after 11 24 years Niko Pajarillo

Connect with Tharunka twitter.com/tharunka fb.me/tharunka tharunka.tumblr.com 2 EDITORIAL

VOLUME 60, ISSUE 4 Ed’s Letter Week 6 - Week 7

At least once a year a mainstream media outlet will publish a story Pull your socks up, TKC. That is that perpetuates the college stereo- not the attitude or experience you type. They spread the idea that eve- want projected. Using ignorance to ryone who goes to college is a rich, excuse racism or discrimination of any kind is something that happens Dear Editors ises those of any culture. Whilst I am not white guy who drinks too much and I write in response to the article that proposing that these students “toughen treats women/freshers/people of col- everyday in Australia. And this is appeared in the recent edition of Tha- up” or “grow a thicker skin”, I certainly our/taxi drivers like second rate citi- something our generation should be runka titled ‘When culture became a cos- think that they should discontinue their zens. consciously combatting. We should tume at Goldstein College’. self-victimisation and contortion of both stop excusing ourselves by expecting As is noted in the article, the theme intention and reality. I hate those stories. I hate those our brash and ill-informed words to of Goldstein’s O-Week was ‘El-Dorado, If it is acceptable for event goers to contort and manipulate themes in order stereotypes. Most of all, I hate that be taken “as a joke”. the Quest for Gold’, which was intended colleges only make the news when to highlight both the ‘Gold’ that is ‘Gold- to take offence to it, then maybe the up- To any student at TKC or any col- stein’ and to celebrate Goldstein’s Golden coming Arts Camp Theme “Arty in the some idiot stuffs up. USA” should be questioned? In the same lege for that matter, I expected a ma- Anniversary in 2014. As has been made clear by the article, convoluted vein, does such a theme not In Issue 3 of Tharunka, my own ture response. I expected you to apol- group of colleges came under fire. some students have concerns around present a generalised, and hence mar- ogise for your ignorance. I expected gianlising, take on American culture? This time around, I hated the re- insensitive cultural appropriation in the you to share stories of how inclusive use of this theme. It’s also probably worth noting that sponse of my peers, my fellow alumni and welcoming the college experi- Of course it was not the intention their [sic] is a place in Mexico called El Dorado. You should visit sometime, and the current residents. ence can be. How strong the sense of of the college or any of the students to cause any offence. However, this is no you’ll have a golden time. I loved every second I spent in the comradery is. How it is a shame that excuse. The college is committed to tak- Sincerely, Robert Gordon old Baxter building. I loved the peo- one of your own didn’t get the same ing measures to ensure that all students ple I was surrounded by. I loved the awesome college experience we all are aware of the range of sensitivities, Your ‘Goldstein College’ article was attitude. deserve. concerns, and needs of all other stu- the most ill-informed piece of literature dents. I’ve ever set my eyes on. Rachel Lobo is My experience of college was idyl- I expected my college to turn this Goldstein would never promote or the worst collegian to have lived at The lic. But as a middle class, white girl negative press around, and to use condone any sort of deliberate harass- Kensington Colleges. First of all to take whose only real struggle is when she this insight to create an even more ment or vilification, especially where a theme that is ‘El-Dorado’ (As in the spends her rent money on beer in- inclusive and brilliant place for stu- such conduct has a racist, sexist, ho- Children’s movie about a lost city of gold) and try and find any offensive meaning stead, I don’t ever take the position dents to live. I expect everyone’s po- mophobic or any other discriminatory undertone. behind it is an absolute joke. The afore- tential college experience to be as that my experience of college life dis- The Kensington Colleges, and the mentioned had no qualms in partici- counts anyone else’s. positive as mine. University run accommodation more pating throughout the whole week and even had the audacity to turn up to the TKC, you have the potential to be broadly, always aim to be open and ac- The number of comments about cepting places where students can grow ‘anything but clothes’ party taking sips the ‘El Dorado” article I have heard, something great and a real asset to and reach their full potential. And, in straight from her cheap bottle of wine. read on Facebook, or read as letters UNSW. Don’t waste it. pursuing this, are always open to sugges- Also, to take offence to some other col- tions that can help us reach that goal. leges dressing up as Indians is also a to this publication from students With love, who go or have gone to college were Yours sincerely joke. If this is the way people are going to think than [sic] no theme is going to be both confronting and disappointing. Freya, with Ammy and Jake Nick Dowd, Dean, Goldstein College acceptable. ‘Oi, you can’t have a sports “You shouldn’t go to college themed party, because some people don’t Having read Amber Grimmble’s ar- play sport and they will get offended’. then!” ticle ‘When Culture became a costume Good mentality. Kicking goals Rachel. at Goldstein college’ I certainly feel it “It wasn’t intended to cause of- Love Tarren Barry necessary to make clear how misguided (an ex-college student, and an Indian) fence so therefore we aren’t to this article is. blame.” The “several” (no more than two) stu- Response from Rachel Lobo: dents who complained regarding the Dear Tarren, cultural sensitivity of the theme clearly I’d strongly encourage you to read need to check themselves. An El dorado “Look Out New World, Here We Come”, theme, whilst obviously carrying cul- [Race, Racialization and Sexuality in... tural connotations, in no way marginal- Animated Films...] by Mary K. Bloods- worth-Lugo which explores the perva- sive racist and sexist themes within the movie you mentioned. After raising a concern with a Resi- Contributors: David bailey-mckay, Lauren Mc- Tharunka acknowledges the Bedegal and Ga- dential Communities Director upon PUBLISHING Cracken , Nicholas Gerovasilis, Paden Hunt- digal people, the traditional custodians of the checking in, I followed through with er, Dom Foffani, Amos Robinson, Michaela land on which the University stands. their suggestion of bringing the issue DETAILS Vaughan, Tina Giannoulis, Nick Timms, Crys- Tharunka is published periodically by Arc @ up. So I did that, with an O-week leader, tal Moran, Matthew Bugden, Matthew Baker, Editors Graphic Design UNSW. The views expressed herein are not who happened to be one of the O-week Christopher Wong, Linda Ma, Albert Santos, Ammy Singh, necessarily the views of Arc, the Representa- convenors, who informed me [that great Chere De Koh Tia Singh, Laksha Prasad, Jeremy Szal, Cath- Freya King, tive Council or the Tharunka editing team, lengths had been taken to ensure racial Photographers erine Knight, Kyle Redman, Connor Mulhol- unless expressly stated. Arc accepts no re- Jacob K. Glud stereotypes would not be perpetuated]. Folake Osibodu land, Sam Davies, Lawrence Leung, Niko Pa- sponsibility for the accuracy of any of the Copy Editor Tina Giannoulis jarillo opinions or information contained in this is- Within a few hours, the Dean and my Araz Eleyasian Comics Contact: sue of Tharunka. Any complaints should be floor’s Resident Fellow were at my door. Reviews Editor Dom Foffani [email protected] made in writing to the Marketing & Publica- The Dean suggested any further issues Sarah Fernandes Paden Hunter PO Box 173, Kingsford, NSW, 2032 tions Coordinator. be brought up directly to him. As at that LETTERS 3 Letters Submit your letters & comments to [email protected] Tharunka, PO Box 173, Kingsford, NSW, 2032 twitter.com/tharunka facebook.com/Tharunka point, I had not received any written stu- may not know about these issues. There FGM/C, however a more nuanced view tions. dent complaints from within the college are quite a few sources that have cov- would have been appreciated - for ex- Luke Ph. so was limited in my capacity as the cur- ered this, including Stolen Continents ample UNICEF’s 2013 report found that Response from Lawrence Leung: rent SRC Ethno-Cultural Officer to take by Ronald Wright, American Holocaust ‘social acceptance’ was the most cited I received a response to my “Serena any substantial action. by David Stannard or the works of Olin factor in numerous communities, or that Williams & Indian Wells” article con- However after the Friday night party Tezcatlipoca, Director of the Mexica parents are often driven by the question tending that the Indian Wells crowd may in our common room, which I did attend Movement (an educational organisation ‘What is best for my child’? Taking fac- have been hostile, but my claims of rac- for 40 minutes, student complaints from for the indigenous rights of Mexican and tors such as these into account would ism were “unsubstantiated”. within and outside of the college had Central American peoples). have made for a more balanced article. While I acknowledge conflicting re- come through either directly to me or Obviously I’m biased on this one, but The piece did spur me to learn more, ports of the crowd’s use of racial slurs, were posted on social media. One thing I don’t think my decision to participate (go Tharunka! :D) and I hope sharing the claims are not unsubstantiated. As I about TKC is that it is located on cam- in approximately 10 of the 30+ O-week these starting points below will contrib- noted, tournament officials declined to pus. This might lead to one of the other activities, most of which did not involve ute to more a sophisticated understand- confirm or deny the allegations, instead 55,000 students receiving a UNSW edu- wearing a shirt with a design used to ing of this urgent human rights issue. cation witnessing the behaviours of TKC represent a departed soul, is the primary claiming “maybe [they] heard what they UNICEF 2013 Report: residents. issue here. There could be a chance your heard”. Media reports were inconclusive; http://goo.gl/wRrXjZ Amber’s article was written as a result idea of a true collegian is flawed. a majority of articles were written well of a non-college student posting their An FGM/C alternative: after the fact, and by reporters not in at- concerns on a social media outlet, there- http://goo.gl/hPlpX4 tendance (admittedly, that includes this by making the issue no longer limited to I wanted to thank you guys for the article). Chere De Koh within the college. I was asked to com- recent piece regarding Goldstein Col- What is important is that the Wil- ment on said Tharunka article. I decided lege and the blatant disrespect they have liamses have commented on the inci- to make a suggestion for cultural sensi- shown to the people of both Mexico and Regarding Lawrence Leung Article- dent. Venus has openly agreed with her tivity training to be provided for Resident South America. After discussing it with “Serena Williams & Indian Wells” father, Richard Williams, who said he Fellows and House Committee members, friends and colleagues, I feel as though I The claims made in the article are heard “N*****, stay away” and threats of which to the best of my knowledge is not am in the minority in my beliefs, though. factually inaccurate. “15,000 tennis fans being “skinned alive”. Serena has penned currently provided. Most workplaces in Too many times have I heard the words reportedly harassed the Williams family a chapter of her autobiography on the Australia and more globally have this as “Seems a bit oversensitive doesn’t it?”, “I during the championship match by re- incident where she explicitly states hear- compulsory for their workers and with am Mexican and I found the old-school peatedly calling them n*****s”. This did ing multiple racial epithets. the changing demographics of on-cam- stereotypes pretty funny” and the ever not occur. If Mr Leung wants to make While there will always be an uncer- pus residential accommodation it would present “Is this all they have to talk a point about race and tennis, please do tainty clouding the nature of the crowd’s be good to have implemented from a about?” However, I applaud your willing- not make up unsubstantiated facts. The hostility, it is unfair to say claims of rac- duty of care viewpoint. It will be an area ness to report on the mundane and un- crowd was unusually hostile with loud ism were “unsubstantiated”. The Wil- evaluated in UNSW’s National Union of cover the painfully boring opinions that booing and if Serena Williams chooses liamses have consistently and extensive- Students Ethno-cultural audit later this make UNSW what it is. not to play at Indian Wells then her de- ly condemned the racism they believe year. From my understanding, the article Tharunka provides a voice for people cision should be respected. But the piece they encountered on that day. To say and my comment, did not indicate any like me. People who have a voice that in the Tharunka is inaccurate concern- their accounts were of no substance is to intended malice on part of the O-week can’t be heard. Whether it be because I ing what actually happened. strip the Williamses of their voice in the organisers. am of an ethnic minority, I hold no posi- A comment on something else. I’ve incident. If students raise a concern with the tion of authority, or the fact that I really been at UNSW for over two years and SRC, and this concern is reasonable, I am not bothered, this article spoke to me I’ve noticed the quality of the Tharunka I recently read with interest an ar- would hope that we would do our best and reached out to me in a fashion that seems to vary quite a lot. I’m sure this to address the concern without allow- made me believe it was written specifi- is because of rushing to meet deadlines ticle in Tharunka concerning the “cul- ing personal factors to influence how we cally for my eyes. The repetitive nature and the inexperience of student report- tural appropriation” of other nations’ represent their interests. My responsibil- of this almost poetic piece of literature ers and editors so there has been a num- dress and customs on campus (“When ity to voice the concerns of students that was able to drill the same point home ber of articles that have been shoddy but Culture Became a Costume at Goldstein fall under my portfolio is not relevant to over and over and over again with only a also some of respectable quality. But this College”). where I may live. slightly decreasing level of interest as it is the first time I can recall that I felt the In an era of mass human rights abus- An individual from a particular cul- went on. Tharunka was out to do a ‘hatchet job’ es, global inequality, and looming world tural group is not the spokesperson for The fact that I was candidly exposed and the target was Warrane College. The conflict, it’s good to know some of us are everyone from that culture. If you’re hav- to one side of the story (with the odd cover artwork is insulting and the arti- focused on the important things. Like ing trouble understanding why racially- neutral quote from the opposing side), cle, with pointless digs such as “wom- the imperialist implications of fancy themed parties are problematic, you allowed me to fully grasp the opinions en, however are not allowed above the dress, for instance. Now that the author might like to read ‘When Parties Become that really mattered without being ground floor” gives the impression that has exposed this shameless parodying Racialized: Deconstructing Racially caught up in hearing about the probably Warrane students are misogynists. of other cultures, I’m sure the colonial- Themed Parties by Gina Ann Garcia. pointless traditions of the college and It would be best if the editors at ist appropriation of national cuisine is Your sports analogy is not exactly hearing from any of the decision-makers Tharunka question the impetus of why next on the agenda. I eagerly await the coherent. It does not have the historical behind the O-week theme. an article was written and given such boycotts of Guzman y Gomez (along with context of genocide, rape, colonialism I look forward to reading more on this a prominent position. If there is inter- Max Brenner, of course). and tangentially, the trans-atlantic slave topic and hearing what (hopefully dras- college squabbling going on, then try to I’m also looking forward to hearing trade. I can understand, particularly tic) changes are made around campus. take more of an objective position rather about the author’s crusade on behalf of with the geographical distance between than unfairly maligning an entire col- the Irish and Italian peoples, after the Jared Aylward Australia and the South American con- lege and the vast majority of students clearly ‘appropriated’ St Paddy’s and Toga tinent, along with the limited represen- who had nothing to do with an incident parties. Why stop at Day of the Dead, tation in the media and in ‘mainstream’ Re: No longer on the fence: The vag- occurring last year. The cover and the when ‘jungle theme’ is considered rac- history books of the lived experiences inal lobotomy article resemble ‘tabloid trash’ and one ist? of People of Colour, why some students It was good to see Tharunka explore hopes standards are raised in future edi- Regards, Patrick Leal (M Arch) 4 SHORTLIST

with

Seduction and overcompensation to many is only witnessed after 10:30 pm at the Roundhouse. In poli- tics, seduction and overcompensation are merely tools in garnishing votes and influencing others. For years, I have seen people promise Big Red Ferraris to unsus- pecting voters, only with the intention of delivering, at best, a Ford Focus. And this happens, not out of dis- honesty or contempt for the unsuspecting voter, but because during elections, people will do anything to get over that magical line of 50 per cent plus one. This desire to overcompensate one’s political prom- ises has come about for a number reasons. The rivalry between politicians and political actors would be seen as the main contributor to this. In campaigning and running in contested elections, much is put on the line – egos, bragging rights, and increasingly, money, are all at stake. This sees people develop political identities that slowly turn to urban myths. For example, a certain Victorian is rumoured to al- most never speak both in public and in private. When they do, however, they supposedly only shout. Now, I have heard from multiple sources that this politician, however, only acts in this manner as it is now to be ex- Date Events pected of them. Why do this? It is because this mysticism is what 12-8pm, Dodgeball competition builds a reputation and the illusion of power? I have Thursday The Roundhouse, Free entry met people who hold power based not on their control “Dodge, dip, dive, duck and dodge,” those are the five rules of Dodgeball and if you of the numbers or ability to head kick, but because they April 10 can adhere to them you should enter this competition with a group of friends (entry is are perceived to have the numbers or head kick. When FREE) with a chance to win up to $500. a reputation precedes you, there is no need to organise, as many will cower in fear and dare not organise. 5pm-8:30pm, After Tiller film screening and Q&A However, like the commerce student who claims to Thursday Ritchie Theater, Free entry own a Red Ferrari, this at times is illusion. Power in pol- After Tiller is a documentary that follows the four remaining doctors in the United itics can only be shown on the day. Of those involved in April 10 States that give late-term abortions. Named after George Tiller, a doctor who per- the split, many were meant to have their reputations de- formed abortions and was murdered in 2009, the film was described by a reviewer stroyed and rolled from all their positions. So far, they for the New York Times as “ groundbreaking in giving voice not only to the doctors, have only been rolled up the party machinery. In the but to those who always seem to get overlooked in the high-volume political debate end, those who claim to be big players are actually com- about this topic: the women themselves.” Organised by the Sydney Feminists group pleting a glorified account degree, and the only thing and WAAC (Women’s Abortion Action Campaign), the screening will be followed by a that is 12 inches is their die-cast model of a Red Ferrari. Q&A session.

Short celled at short notice, and another postponed. Insecurity with UNSW Security It is unclear whether Shim will be continuing on as UNSW Security’s new safety campaign has seen the an ordinary member of the SDC. rollout of drink coasters containing helpful advice for List students such as “safety in numbers” and “change di- Bye, Bye, Freddy (Freddy, Goodbye) rection if you think you are being followed and find a In the wake of Vice-Chancellor Fred Hilmer an- safe space”. nouncing his retirement at the end of 2014, after more No doubt UNSW students will be thrilled for the re- than eight years steering the UNSW ship into icebergs, minder over a quiet drink that the onus of escaping a the University has announced an international head- would-be assaulter is on them. SDC Convenor removed hunt for the next President and Vice-Chancellor of The Arc Student Development Committee (SDC) has UNSW. voted by special resolution to remove its 2014 Conven- The frontrunner for the position is Vice-President or, Andrew Shim. The decision was ratified by the Arc and Deputy Vice-Chancellor (Academic), Iain Martin, Board at its March meeting. who has held his current position since October 2012. The special resolution to remove Shim required a Applications for the position closed on March 31, 75% majority of voting members at the SDC meeting. and final interviews will be conducted in mid-May. While Shim was initially elected to the Convenor po- sition by the six elected SDC members in late 2013, at InterSOC forum breaks down bureaucracy the meeting in which he was removed, three ex-officio The newly formed InterSOC forum, an initiative by members (the Arc Chair, and SRC and PGC Presidents) Entrepreneurial Society members Ashley Graf and El- and two new SDC Sports Representatives were also al- iot Redelman, will seek to better coordinate clubs and lowed to vote on the special resolution. societies by connecting club Presidents with each other Among the factors cited for Shim’s dismissal were online and at monthly events. a lack of communication, complaints received from Co-creator Ashley Graf said, “This will assist in au- Arc clubs unable to contact the Convenor, and under- tonomous organising of multi-society events between performance in the four months since his instatement related clubs”. The forum will also assist clubs in learn- as Convenor. Tharunka understands that of the five ing how to obtain sponsorship and avoid event clashes scheduled SDC meetings in 2014, two have been can- with similar societies. NEWS 5

Heavy doors

Main entrance

Courtyard

The library Poor accessibility at COFA

Matthew Baker cess to several buildings; and doors in Jardin told Tharunka, SEADU staff did a Ms Mills. some of the buildings – such as D block walk around COFA Campus with Facili- Despite recognition of current prob- – are too heavy to be opened by mobility- ties Management (FM) in the first half of lems at COFA, rectifying the situation is A recent Tharunka investigation into impaired students (particularly those in 2013 to make FM aware of student con- often incremental at best. accessibility for mobility-impaired stu- wheelchairs). cerns. “There are very real challenges in- dents on the College of Fine Arts (COFA) “If even the main entrance doesn’t When asked if FM had made any pro- volved in providing a physically accessi- Campus has found several outstanding welcome me, how can I be expected to posals to remedy the situation since that ble site in the midst of on-going building problems that need to be addressed. enjoy my time at university?” Ms Mills walk around, Dr Jardin told Tharunka, works,” Dr East told Tharunka. COFA students with mobility impair- told Tharunka. “Facilities Management do not always With regard to changes in accessibil- ment are finding it difficult to get around Dr Scott East, recently appointed as communicate them [proposals] back to ity at the main entrance of COFA, Dr East the campus. Amy Mills, a COFA Council- director of student experience at COFA, us.” said, “The upgrade is part of the City of lor and Disability Officer – who also has agrees that more needs to be done. Ms Mills said that responsibility for Sydney’s Oxford Street Cultural Quarter mobility impairment due to Cystic Fibro- “I think most people would acknowl- these issues “lie with everyone: students, Action Plan and is the gateway through sis, a liver transplant and diabetes – told edge there is more that needs to be done staff and Facilities [Management]. It is which students and visitors will soon be Tharunka, “I do feel angry and disadvan- to improve the physical accessibility the staff’s responsibility to ensure that able to pass from the liveliest cultural taged [at the current situation at COFA].” of our campus,” Dr East told Tharunka. equality is upheld at COFA and that no precinct in Sydney to the city’s leading However, the problem is one that af- “Universities operate within a legislative student ever feels like they are disadvan- art and design school.“ fects more than students with disabili- framework, which requires no disadvan- taged because of their circumstances”. Recent meetings between COFA coun- ties. tage for students living with disabilities Delays in remedying the situation can cillors and Dr East looked at ways to “It’s not just disabled students, it’s ma- compared with the greater student popu- also negatively impact on the studies of improve the campus for all students, in- ture students, it’s expectant mothers… lation,” said Dr East. students with mobility impairment, and cluding those with mobility impairment. it’s students who have broken bones, and Notwithstanding these problems, can even put them off continuing their According to Ms Mills, the first step in it’s even students carrying their weight’s very few formal complaints have been education. worth of art supplies,” Ms Mills high- received by the Student Equity and Dis- When asked if students feel that the this arduous process towards rectifying lighted. abilities Unit (SEADU). current situation would put students this situation is through informing the There are several specific problems Dr Ann Jardin, Director of SEADU, with mobility impairment off enrolling student body, so pressure can be put on facing students with mobility impair- noted that she had received only two at COFA, Ms Mills agreed, telling Tharun- other relevant bodies within the univer- ment on the COFA Campus, Tharunka complaints in relation to access issues ka, “If anything, I think that it would dis- sity. has been told. Many relate to the design at COFA in 2013. The first of those re- suade future students from choosing to “Students haven’t been informed of the campus, which, despite recent de- lated to refitting and changing the route study at COFA.” about what’s going on at COFA, and I velopments, remains unfriendly to the of a charter bus to COFA for a mobility- A key problem affecting the studies think there needs to be better transpar- mobility impaired. impaired student, which has since been of mobility-impaired students at COFA is ency. Let’s let the students have a say Such problems include no access to resolved. the situation with the library. about this discrimination at COFA,” Ms the library because of a broken lift; no A second issue raised was in relation “At present, there is no access to the Mills told Tharunka. ramp at the main entrance to campus to the doors at COFA, which are very library at COFA for students who are Facilities Management were contact- (partly due to a one-year delay in the heavy in some areas and problematic mobility impaired; every student should ed for this story. Unfortunately, no com- construction of a cafe); lack of direct ac- for mobility-impaired students. As Dr have access to the same resources,” said ment was received. 6 NEWS

Party before the protest

Matthew Bugden in Queensland in the 1970s and ’80s. But people and the structure of politics no help the “Abbott: Hands off our Educa- @matthewjbaker07 they were large enough to be worthy of longer can accommodate them. tion” rally. more basic news coverage than they re- But for all the buck-passing the radi- The National Union of Students initi- ceived,” writes John Birmingham of the cal left engage in when asking why they ative opposes the $2.3 billion in proposed The “March in March” rallies held Brisbane Times. have become so marginalised by the cuts to education spending under the around Australia, perhaps more than But it was not just conservatives that “mainstream” political discourse, at the Abbott government. emphasising the various grievances the weakened the left. Federal Opposition end of the day, the role of modern pro- The new revamped style of protest left have with the Abbott government’s Leader Bill Shorten’s acknowledged that test is simply to raise awareness. Despite is the brainchild of SRC Education Of- policies, called into question the effec- the March in March protesters were exer- some unrealistic placards calling for ficer Billy Bruffey, who acknowledges the tiveness of mass protest as a political cising a democratic right, though with- referenda or votes of public confidence misgivings many students have about weapon. out lending any moral support to their on Abbott’s policies, this should be a top left-wing activism. He says that the cur- It was not the outpour of genuine, cause, underscores the deep mutual es- priority. It follows that a snubbing from rent culture of student apathy is regret- often heartfelt sentiment from protest- trangement of the Labor establishment major media outlets, even from the Mur- table since the cuts have a direct impact ers, but the tongue-in-cheek response of from its traditional voter base. doch Press, is a serious problem. Prime Minister Tony Abbott when asked This was also true of moderates more Negative views of the radical left are on students, and are not just abstract for his views on the campaign that de- generally. Sydney Morning Herald (SMH) commonplace in Australian public life, discussion. But he still sees potential fined the day. Rather than criticise left- columnist Jacqueline Maley, in her re- a fact underscored by Maley’s reply arti- in UNSW, saying, “We’re just as big as ists and their politics, Mr Abbott donned cent article, “March in March: Two sides cle. She responded to accusations from USYD, and equally if not more politically a sly smile and pretended the interviewer of the story we didn’t run”, highlights co-ordinators that Fairfax was part of a progressive.” was referring to the St Patrick’s Day Cel- the self-defeating elitism of the radical corporate media conspiracy to “black- Bruffey says the SRC modelled the ebrations that were held on the same left and their antagonism of moderate out” any serious coverage of the protest, “pre-protest party” on Chilean protest weekend. liberal media outlets capable of getting which canvassed serious anti-business movements that emphasise community The quip, so easily shrugged off, is the message out there. In a cerebral dig views such as opposition to the Trans- and festivities – they hope that this will actually a sophisticated political move at left-wing zealots, Maley writes, “It Pacific Partnership and the recent gov- counteract the perceived drudgery of for two reasons: First, it shows that con- is strange that people who despise the ernment-funded loan to the tune of $110 student activism. servatives are beginning to realise their MSM [mainstream media] so much are million for an offshore joint venture be- SRC President Joel Wilson welcomed silence is more effective than criticism, so angry at being ignored by it.” tween BHP Billiton and Rio Tinto. the event for galvanising the student and second, and by far the more con- She claims that the lack of cover- In defending herself and her publica- body. fronting of the two developments, that age was due to the movement’s lack of tion, Maley demonstrated the moderate’s “There is a groundswell happening at Tony Abbott has demonstrated his abil- clearly defined goals, a criticism that was repulsion for heated left-wing activism. UNSW. We are getting activists who are ity to use irony against the left. frequently made of the Occupy move- She brackets the March in March with actually passionate about their educa- Abbott’s response was reminiscent of ment. She emphasises that the likely last year’s Anti-Gillard protests, and tion and about making sure student ser- the almost complete lack of coverage the reason SMH did not pick up the story writes, “The left does itself no favours if vices, clubs and societies, and people at March in March got from the media. The was because they had no coherent mes- it resorts to insult, vitriol, and mad mut- UNSW are adequately represented and event, which saw over 50,000 people sage, with complaints ranging “from tering in dark corners of the internet,” take to the streets, received scant media asylum-seeker policy to gay marriage to regardless of the validity of its claims. get a proper education,” says Wilson. attention, and much majority of cover- fair trade”. Indeed, the present political Operating within a political culture Bruffey added, “This has been build- age it did get, bemoaned the public inde- system seems far too pluralistic for any that pities and ridicules the stoic, crusty ing for a couple months now, and even cency of the protesters. sort of convergence to occur. It would left-wing protester, the SRC is looking at though we’ve been rained out and didn’t “These were not mass protests of the seem that the common element to these alternative ways to engage studies and get as many numbers as we hoped for, to- size and style of the Vietnam era. They protests is really anti-liberal-democratic attract them to their cause. On March 26, day really represents a good start for the weren’t as large and certainly not as vio- – a sense that the normal channels of it experimented with a “festival”-style education collective and activism on this lent and disorderly as civil rights protests democracy have failed the Australian pre-protest party, with food and a DJ, to campus.” NEWS 7

Students with disabilities draw the short straw Nick Timms dents might be on,” she says. necessary skillset.” Ms Little acknowledges that while “This age group, between 18 and 24 There are concerns that SEADU em- the problem has been fixed, “it has taken is where you’re going to get the onset of ployees are overworked, as there are only nine months for this problem to be re- Overworked and under qualified staff, certain mental illnesses, so if you actual- three Disability Advisors for the almost solved, which is just too long.” course software that isn’t compatible ly haven’t got a clue of how to help some- 1000 students with disabilities at UNSW. Last year, the students who SEADU with assistive learning technologies, and body like that, it’s not going to be easy for ANU has four permanent full-time dis- hires to write lecture notes for students a lack of student note takers are among you to give them the accommodations ability advisors who all have tertiary with disabilities began receiving $10 a growing list of concerns about the that they need.” qualifications in disability. Macquarie vouchers as payment instead of the usual services for students with disabilities at She also says that due to the lack of University has four full-time disability rate of $27 an hour. This has raised con- UNSW. proper support, some students choose advisors and they are all qualified psy- cerns that there won’t be an adequate Members of the students with disabil- to contact staff members from their chologists. supply of notes to many students that re- ities community and the SRC’s Students schools. “One of my bosses, she would be go- with Disabilities Officer, Alexandra Lit- “I saw informally a member of staff ing between the office I worked in, and quire the service. tle, have voiced many concerns regard- from my school, and they said that an office downstairs regularly over the Miles Davitt was a note taker in his ing the conditions for disabled students they were so distressed with what they day. Sometimes she wouldn’t be able to first year at UNSW in 2012, but decided at UNSW. The overworked and alleg- couldn’t get from SEADU,” she says. turn up in the office because she had to against it after the change in payment. edly under experienced disability staff “They were actually managing the take someone’s position, and be on call, “I got an email for the position, but at SEADU (Student Equity and Disability students themselves, which was good on like in charge of the phones and stuff,” when I saw that they were only offer- Unit), are chief among these concerns. one side because at least students were Hank,* a SEADU employee, says. ing $10 book vouchers, I decided that it “They keep hiring staff who have no getting some sort of service, but for me “The actual managers and higher up wasn’t worth my time,” he says. tertiary qualifications in disability, nor that really goes against confidentiality. supervisors, they seemed like they had a “The need for note taking becomes relevant industry experience,” Ms Little Students would need to disclose what lot on their plate.” superseded as there is more and more says. their conditions were to staff members, Another issue of concern that Ms Lit- material online, and far more material According to Ms Little, one of the which flies in the face of what SEADU is tle has raised is Moodle not being com- being accessible through technologies, main staff members who has been work- about.” patible with assistive learning technolo- such as Echo,” Ms Jardine says. ing in SEADU since last year, does not One of Caitlin’s friends, who was also gies for visually impaired students. “Students are finding they don’t actu- have the necessary qualifications for the receiving support from SEADU, found “There is a program called JAWS that ally need to rely on notes by others, and role. his studies too difficult to continue with. reads out all of the different buttons and that’s actually enabling those students to “He came from Student Central, and “One student has actually left the links on the computer screen,” she says. be independent learners by themselves, he has no background in disability. To campus and gone back home, because “Moodle wasn’t accessible in this his credit, he has been trying really hard he just couldn’t get the support that he way. This was never an issue with Black- and take charge of their own learning if to get on top of things, which is no mean needed,” Caitlin says. board”. you like.” feat, especially when you consider that Ann Jardine, the Director of SEADU, Ms Little also says that the new lec- Overall, Caitlin believes the services he has no experience,” she says. says that the experience of her staff ture recording software, Echo 360, was provided by SEADU need improvement. “Dr Ann Jardine who is the director of members is up to standard. While they incompatible with these assistive learn- “Sometimes students will be really SEADU has no qualifications in disabil- come from different areas of expertise, ing technologies. well, but then they’ll plummet again. ity either. Her area of expertise is equity. they all receive mental health training “When we put in systems, we have to They need a reference point. Sometimes When I asked about the qualifications on the job. build what we call integration interfaces, students just need reassurance about of her staff, Dr Jardine did not deny that “The skill mix of staff coming into and it does occasionally take time to find something, and sometimes it can be they had no appropriate tertiary qualifi- the service can be many and varied. The the bugs,” Wai Fong Chua, the Pro Vice quite simple response that would allay cations. She instead emphasised the fact three staff members we have at this mo- Chancellor (Students) says. their anxieties,” she says. that these staff undertake professional ment are appropriate for the roles they “When you introduce new technol- “Now they have to phone up, leave development. This can never take the are undertaking,” she says. ogy, you always end up having a bug fix.” their name, try and get an appointment, place of a degree and industry experi- Ms Little disagrees. According to Ms Jardine, the prob- and it just adds to their anxiety.” ence”. “The SEADU Administration Officer lems have been fixed in the system. Ms Chua, however, remains confident According to Caitlin*, one of the stu- has seen over two dozen students in the “SEADU’s been working with Learn- that UNSW is able to provide adequate dents who receives services from SEADU, capacity of a disability advisor (sic.) This ing and Teaching, and IT, and all the ma- help for its disabled students. there are no staff members equipped to is akin to going to a medical centre and jor problems have been fixed, and the deal with students with mental health being seen by the receptionist! A stu- students have been notified of that,” she “At the end of the day, if there are is- issues. dent that she has seen told me that they says. sues, then students come to us with is- “I don’t think there’s anybody there required another appointment with a “There are some minor problems, I sues and we try and manage them,” Ms with understanding of mental health disability advisor later on in that week understand, that they’re still working on, Chua says. conditions, and I don’t think there’s any- to put in place the adjustments that the and we’ve asked students to come to us if “If there are issues with the quality of body there who might understand the administration officer was unable to im- they have been having particular prob- service, that’s our responsibility.” implications of medications that stu- plement because she doesn’t have the lems.” *Names changed 8 NEWS New academic withdrawal procedure raises concerns

Crystal Moran @manlycarrots them – the faculty review committee will right until the last day of the semester. I script is a penalty.” look at the students’ performances, and think this [new policy] assists folks who “It’s interesting to see who this is sup- contact the student and see if they can aren’t managing for all sorts of reasons posed to help. They aren’t helping dis- Last issue, Tharunka reported changes assist them in any way.” and gives them discretion over their advantaged students, who are trying to to the procedures for late withdrawal from Enquiries by Tharunka reveal that studies.” complete university degree in unstable courses. The changes, due to come into effect under the old procedure, academic with- “[The changes] will say to employers, circumstances.” in semester 2 2014 or semester 1 2015, will drawals are recorded by Student Central ‘you started a course – which is a matter The Pro-Vice Chancellor confirmed record withdrawals on transcripts, replac- for accounting and administrative pur- of fact – you had to withdraw, and that that a review will be conducted twelve ing the current procedure of erasing courses poses, and that faculties are sent courte- withdrawal was permitted. And that is months from commencement of the new entirely. While much of the discourse has sy copies of the outcomes of withdrawal an accurate record of what happened.” policy, and that feedback will be sought been about bringing UNSW’s withdrawal applications by Student and Academic UNSW’s student leaders have ex- from student leaders and faculties. procedures on par with the other Group of Services. It is therefore unclear why this pressed concern that these changes will “My sense of having a trial is to actu- Eight universities, Pro-Vice Chancellor Pro- information is not currently being used effectively ‘out’ students with disabilities ally ascertain ‘is there an issue, and if so, fessor Chua says the new policy is a tool to for the purposes described, or why it to potential employers. how large the issue would be, and how help identify and assist students at risk. SRC Students with Disabilities Of- may we begin to address it?’ That’s why I “There is quite a lot of interest in the is necessary to record withdrawals to University for early intervention and try- achieve these aims. ficer Alexandra Little said, “In practice, said to the Board, let’s see if the faculties ing to understand and manage students For Professor Chua, the other motiva- the new system will mean that potential feel this is a way for them to manage stu- who may be having difficulties. We don’t tions for the policy are providing flex- employers will be able to identify a stu- dents at risk in a better way. That is a very have any data on withdrawals, and cur- ibility for students who don’t meet the dent with a disability or medical condi- important measure of success”. rently because none come through, it’s current guidelines for academic with- tion just by looking at their transcript. It While throughout Professor Chua’s hard for us to actually flag astudent until drawal, as well as creating a complete is completely inappropriate for students dialogue with Tharunka, the changes it’s way too late,” Professor Chua said. and accurate record of a student’s time at to be disadvantaged because of circum- were referred to as a “trial”, a representa- Referring to the biannual ‘assessment university. stances entirely beyond their control.” tive from the Pro-Vice Chancellor’s office review groups’ within each faculty which “I’d like to put the power back into the SRC Welfare Officer Brendan Byron later said in a statement, “Professor Chua monitor student performance, Professor hands of the students. This policy is a had similar thoughts, saying “If you’re would like to point out that the Board Chua said, “If we start to say ‘okay, why way of saying ‘you can manage your life withdrawing without academic penalty, has not described this as a trial. The pro- are there a couple of academic withdraw- and we will be there to assist’”. We are you should be able to withdraw without cedure has been endorsed and it will be als?’ – because we will now be recording giving students the ability to withdraw penalty. Having a mark on your tran- reviewed”.

Why it’s still worth giving a Gonski Michaela Vaughan as identified in the report. The Abbott remained decidedly distant from com- 2014 budget is a critical point where the government’s apparent resistance to mentary since the release of the report. Coalition government must indicate @mvaughan101 Gonski recommendations manifested in “A good reviewer remains independent what its future plans are.“ the removal the Gonski Review from the of politics,” stated Gonski. “I believe it On Friday, March 21, submissions Education Department’s website late last was a good review and that the strength closed to the Senate inquiry by the Select When the federal government was year. The report was only later restored of the report speaks for itself. Anecdotal- Committee on School Funding. The AEU voted in mid-last year, many students in January as a result of a freedom of in- ly, the public response to the report has reported that close to 3,000 submissions and schools remained hopeful that the formation application by Fairfax Media. been very positive. It is up to the state from schools and individuals were sent Review of Funding for Schooling (aka the The Gonski Review was commis- and federal governments now to decide through the “I Give a Gonski” website. “Gonski”) agreements made under Labor sioned by Julia Gillard in April 2010, the whether or not the funding is worth it.” Some schools also made submissions were going to be implemented. Education minister at the time, in a push In early March, “I Give a Gonski” sup- directly to the Senate. This Select Com- Before the election, Liberal Education to fundamentally reform schooling in porters, lead by the Australian Education mittee will investigate and report on the Minister Christopher Pyne promised that Australia. This review was the most com- Union (AEU), commenced a road trip development and implementation of na- “you can vote Liberal or Labor and you’ll prehensive undertaking of school fund- around the country to remind teach- tional school funding arrangements and get exactly the same amount of funding ing in close to 40 years. It sought to de- ers, parents, principals and local com- school reform. The reporting date is 14 for your school”. Much was at stake in termine the funding required to achieve munities precisely what is at stake if the May 2014, and presents another oppor- such a statement – NSW, Victoria, South an equitable education system so that, Gonski agreements are not fully funded. tunity to reinforce the need for and the Australia, Tasmania and the ACT had all regardless of a student’s background, lo- This road trip also was a timely reminder support of Gonski funding to the Coali- signed six years of fully funded Gonski cation or choice in school, there would to the federal government of the wide- tion. agreements. be no disadvantage. Former panelist of spread community support for Gonski Gavrielatos urged, “We have the best Unfortunately, only just a few weeks the Gonski Review Dr Ken Boston stated funding before the announcement of the opportunity in decades to do something later, the Abbott government back- in a press conference that “Gonski will May budget. about the way we resource our schools flipped on its election promise, citing create a genuine meritocracy”. As it Angelo Gavrielatos, AEU Federal and educate our children. It isn’t a time the Gonski agreements as “inequitable currently stands, the gap between the President, informed Tharunka, “Gonski to sit back and hope it happens – it is a and utterly incomprehensive”. As such, achievement of top and bottom perform- is about giving every child a great educa- time for everybody who cares about edu- the federal government has only com- ing students in Year 9 is up to five years. tion, but unless the Coalition agrees to cation to let the politicians know this has mitted to a third of the money required Tharunka caught up with David Gon- fund it properly, kids are going to miss to happen.” to execute the Gonski agreements, thus ski, who headed the Review and has out. We wanted to let people know the neglecting the urgent needs of students FEATURE 9

The Chaser’s Andrew Hansen, on being a theatre wanker Freya King the show features an expression of that anger – highlighted through song, naturally. “ [For this] show I have actually written an entire When Tharunka spoke to The Chaser’s Andrew Hans- song about this whole phenomenon [taking offence to Tharunka, Snog, en, he assured us that he was brooding in a dark room trivial things] and it interests me a lot. It bugs me and somewhere, sipping on iced tea. Most of you would rec- kind of annoys me, so it’s a kind of an anger filled and Marry, Avoid ognise Hansen as the guy that played piano and sang furious song. It’s probably the angriest song I have ever satirical songs on the various “Chaser” shows, which is written. It’s a song about anger, the fact people get so What is the first change you would make good because that means you might think he is funny angry about things they haven’t actually seen and don’t if you ruled the world? and go to his show. know anything about, but they are happy to express “First change would be I would appoint some- Hansen has teamed up with fellow Chaser alumnus, their offense about it,” says Hansen. body who knows how to rule the world . I would Chris Taylor, to put on their second live sketch show as The process of creating this show was a particularly be terrible. I would fire myself as my first move.” a pair, ‘One Man Show’. boring one, and you definitely won’t catch Taylor or “I wouldn’t pay money to see it,” says Hansen, in his Snog - Who do you admire even though Hansen waxing lyrical about their creative process. typically self-deprecating fashion. you have no rational reasoning behind that “It’s very boring and difficult. For me, it’s just frown- The Chaser are renowned for their satirical take on admiration? ing, absolutely stressed out of my mind at a screen for Australia’s political landscape, but this is a show that “No one, honestly there is no one I like with- hours on end with nothing happening you know. It’s isn’t aimed at hacks – Hansen promises there isn’t actu- out having good reason for. Well actually, I am a very boring. One of the papers actually asked us to write ally that much substance to the show. huge fan of Disney animation and I don’t have an article about how we wrote the show. We had to say “My personal preference is [that] I just want to be any good excuse for that. And I have never met amusing, I don’t even aim to be funny,” says Hansen. “I to them we can’t write that, it’s too boring. We just sat at any of my peers who are in to that.” don’t much care about making a point, when I worked a computer and think a lot. That’s how it gets done un- Marry – If you could have dinner with with the other guys some of them were very keen about fortunately. We missed the boat on all the good times, there’s no LSD – I sometimes have an iced tea. That’s the anyone, every day for the rest of your life, making a point. I am not that fussed about it, I think who would it be? this show is a chance for Chris and I to stretch those closest I get.” “It would have to be one of my existing friends. British absurdist muscles a little more than we do in Hansen does admit that he has picked up a few fancy, If it was someone I had never met before I would The Chaser.” pretentious words from this creative endeavor – even if be reluctant to sign up to dinner for the rest of my This show channels Monty Python and silliness for they aren’t the direct result of his writing process. life with them. I will just have to name my old the sake of silliness a lot more than the usual Chaser “I have always been a massive wanker, and this is a primary school friends.” gags. great opportunity to be a theatre wanker. I have start- “It’s kind of old school, [like] all those British style ed using trendy terms that my director taught me, like Avoid – Who are you willing to call out sketch comedies, so with a whole lot of songs and we “when a piece lands”. Apparently that’s what you now as the poster boy/girl for everything you dress up as all kinds of characters. We explore things say. I think we used to say, ‘I hope this will fly. [Now] if despise or hate about the world? that we find amusing, things that annoy us. The show you are really, really cool, you say ‘I hope this lands’.” “It’s every greedy dictator, every reactionary is about annoying Facebook updates and the way that If you are interested to see the two Chaser boys’ show person who doesn’t let everybody say what they people get outraged and offended online for no good “land”, check it out at one of two Sydney locations dur- want to say. I don’t know if there is one specific reason,” says Hansen. ing May. person I would want to name, but any commen- Being offended for no good reason is something that One Man Show, May 1, Concourse Theatre tator or politician who has tried to silence some- Hansen ironically takes particular offence to. He him- Chatswood, 7:15pm. May 2, The Metro, 7:30pm. body else, I think that’s [the reason] behind why self is particularly good at being angry. Conveniently, Tickets $38 + booking fee. the human race is almost certainly doomed.” 10 FEATURES

“You did an awesome job of making a guy look

like a trans*woman, in- Image: Ellen DeGeneres stead of hiring a trans*woman!” ” The Biggest Winner Is Still the Academy

Albert Santos the fore. Jared Leto’s turn as trans*woman Rayon won Best Supporting Actor, despite the fact that the trans* Oh, the Academy Awards. The one night every year community had spoken out against his casting. The where the American film industry comes together to same can be said of the Best Hair and Make-Up Award celebrate the best, most innovative and most thought- accolade bestowed to them; the Academy essentially Who’s voting provoking films of the past year, then hand awards to saying, “You did an awesome job of making a guy look whatever the Weinstein Brothers produced. like a trans*woman, instead of hiring a trans*woman!” anyway? There’s a beauty, however, among the parasitic na- Though, to be fair, in a field where your other options ture of it all. In spite of the smug self-righteousness, were The Lone Ranger and the latest Jackass film, it was white people back patting, tabloid fashion statements, probably the best choice. bad Ellen DeGeneres jokes and poorly-conceived social Gravity is an interesting beast. It’s somehow the media integration (see: picture above), there are few – most optimistic of the big winners even though it stars if any – high-tier award shows that give screen time to Sandra Bullock. But it’s also about not much at all: the the people behind the scenes, from Best Visual Effects US space program is over so there’s no commentary to the people who wrote the music for Frozen. It’s mo- to be made there, the film’s problems are resolved via ments like these that – to quote the beautiful speech of dream sequence, and any tale about the introspec- Best Supporting Actress Winner Lupita Nyong’o – “re- tive nature of loneliness is lost in the constant need to mind me and every child that no matter where you’re make the emptiness seem exciting. What’s left is some- from, your dreams are valid”. thing more thrilling than a Movie World ride, but also a The big winners of the night were 12 Years a Slave whole lot less poignant, the final message being a dull (three awards, including Best Picture), Dallas Buyers “earth good, space bad”. Club (three awards, including Best Actor) and Gravity Like every year, arguably the better films were left (seven awards, including Best Director). Each one deals out of the envelopes. Blackfish, Fruitvale Station, Blue with topics that a predominantly white, male Acad- is The Warmest Colour, Before Midnight, The Wind Rises emy voting block has trouble comprehending. 12 Years and The Act of Killing all left the ceremony either un- a Slave is a haunting look back at the recent history of mentioned or empty-handed, despite each one being pre-civil war America. Dallas Buyers Club deals with the infinitely better than most Best Picture nominees could 1980s AIDS epidemic among the LGBTI community. ever dream of being. The Academy Awards arguably Gravity spends over 90 minutes focused solely on an in- play out in rote fashion, where the nominees and win- dependent woman. ners merely exist for the betterment of those that vote Each film is a deserving winner on face value. for them. The real winners, in the end, are the Acad- Though once you dig deeper, cracks start to show. 12 emy, who can spend another year feeling good about Years a Slave is easily one of the best films of 2013, but their ‘choices’. when the much larger ‘spectacle’ filmGravity wins most The real sign of the Oscar’s lack of contemporary of the awards throughout the night, you get the feeling understanding, however, may have appeared during that the win was an act of penance for past wrongdo- the show itself. The biggest cheer of the night was re- ings. Forgive me if I take the cynic’s approach on this served for, surprisingly, Kevin Spacey, who broke out one, but it’s not a far stretch to think that the Acad- the southern drawl of Frank Underwood, from TV se- emy – an institution built on traditional, conservative ries House of Cards, during proceedings. While it was values, who has previously lauded such racist tripe as a funny reprieve for the audience, it also served as a Crash and The Help – weren’t awarding this film with warning: television, especially premium cable channels Source: Times Reporting.. Data analysis by their highest honour out of pure merit. like HBO, are taking the place that cinema once occu- Doug Smith. Robert Burns, Khang Nguyen Similarly, Dallas Buyers Club, aside from being a clas- pied as the innovative, thought-provoking and indeed Los Angeles Times sic ‘Oscar-bait’ film, brought its own Pandora’s Box to best mainstream artistic medium. LEFT VS. RIGHT 11

The Racial Discrimination Act Image by Libby Levi for opensource.com Libby Image by

Lauren McCracken Nicholas Gerovasilis

If Tim Wilson is to be believed, the most pressing human The federal government’s proposed changes to the Racial Dis- rights issue in Australia today is the lack of freedom to “offend, crimination Act have fostered an animated and polarising debate. insult, humiliate or intimidate” someone on the basis of their The importance of this discussion should not be understated. It “race, colour or national or ethnic origin”. is a question of freedom of speech. This fundamental principle is This refers to section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act, one of the key differentiating factors of any healthy democracy. So which Mr Wilson, our new Human Rights Commissioner, would it is critical we do not take it for granted. like to see removed. Section 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act makes it unlawful to publicly cause Sorry, did I say Human Rights Commissioner? I meant “Freedom” Commissioner. offence, insult, humiliate or intimidate another person or group of people on the ba- Mr Wilson’s spunky new informal label is not insignificant. It denotes a shift in focus sis of race. This is the legislation Andrew Bolt was found to have breached by the from the longstanding, hard-fought-over and internationally recognised concept of Federal Court in 2011, in relation to his comments on fair-skinned Indigenous peo- human rights, to Mr Wilson’s arbitrary definition of freedom. ple. Free speech is an important human right, but we must not forget what damage It is necessary to make two important points about why I believe the current leg- we can do to that right by legalising hate speech. Tim Soutphommasane, the current islation goes too far. Firstly, the provisions are heavily subjective. In summarising Race Discrimination Commissioner, wrote in the Sydney Morning Herald that allow- his judgment against Bolt, Justice Mordy Bromberg noted that for a successful claim ing racial vilification can harm freedom of speech by silencing its victims. He wrote: under s18C, it was required that Bolt’s conduct be “reasonably likely” to cause of- “Not everyone is in a position of parity to speak back to those who denigrate them on fence, insult, humiliation or intimidation. However, reasonableness as a metric is racial grounds.” far from an objective standard, free from individual idiosyncrasies. Mr Wilson’s focus on defending those guilty of hate speech, rather than their vic- The degree of conduct that will “cause offence” will vary markedly between indi- tims, seems even more bizarre when you look at how 18C has actually been inter- viduals. So it is incorrect to propound the present provision as an entirely unbiased preted by the courts. No one has ever been convicted for hurting someone’s feelings. criterion for determining racial discrimination. Yet, in a recent opinion piece (16/3), Unlawful conduct has consistently been defined as that which causes “profound and Sydney Morning Herald political correspondent Bianca Hall satirically suggested serious effects”. In addition, section 18D of the same act defends free speech by pro- that if the government gets its way in repealing s18C, the definition of what is racist tecting instances where someone has acted in good faith. This includes genuine ar- will be left at the behest of politicians like Attorney-General Brandis or SA Senator tistic, scientific or academic work, or fair comment or reporting. Cory Bernardi. This is why Andrew Bolt lost the court case that triggered this debate. The piece, No. That goes to the heart of exactly what the repeal of Section 18C strives to pre- in which he claimed people had chosen to identify as Indigenous Australians for po- vent. Unlike Hall, the government doesn’t accept the idea that we need a law to tell litical gain, was not written in good faith. Facts were distorted, ignored or intention- us what is racist. ally left out. Such a maliciously written and widely read column unleashes bigger This brings me to the second point, which is that by prescribing in law the limita- worries for the indigenous community than a defamation case could address. tions on discourse about race, we are extinguishing the space in which public debate The Bolt case wrapped up in 2011, yet it now seems to be the only thing our Hu- ought to be occurring. Janet Albrechtsen, writing in The Australian (19/3), high- man Rights Commissioner is yapping on about. Meanwhile, the Universal Declara- lights this exact concept. As Human Rights Commissioner Tim Wilson expounds, tion of Human Rights is being treated as the plaything of our government and opposi- a healthy democracy cannot function where law and social norms are fused. For Al- tion. brechtsen, without a gap between these two concepts, the status quo becomes un- Our current and former governments are guilty of denying asylum seekers their challengeable; there can be no constructive debate about where society collectively basic human rights. These include Article 14, “The right to seek and to enjoy in oth- believes the line falls on acceptable conduct. er countries asylum from persecution,” and Article 9, “No one shall be subjected to If Andrew Bolt’s remarks on fair-skinned Indigenous people indeed abrogate arbitrary arrest, detention or exile.” Article 26, which outlines the right to free el- social norms on racial commentary, he should be proven wrong by robust debate. ementary education, is also being denied to many children in detention. We might find racist views repelling, but by gagging them, we only serve to spare At the time of writing, Australia is also refusing to support a UN resolution to in- them from the sobering judgment of public opinion. And for those who take of- vestigate serious violations and abuses of human rights in Sri Lanka. Over the last fence, there is surely a cathartic comfort in the profound agent of public morality year and a half, Australia has sent more than 1,000 asylum seekers back to Sri Lan- condemning racist sentiments. For mine, this is perhaps an even greater countervail ka. If Sri Lanka is found guilty of these abuses, so too will Australia be found guilty than mere legal reprimand, as it possesses a social character whose significance the of denying these people their rights under Article 14. legal system often lacks. Let that sink in for a minute. Australia, which we so often credit as being one However, for those who assert that an unfettered right of free speech is too ex- of the fairest and most egalitarian nations of the world, is denying asylum seekers treme, the lawyer who represented Bolt in his case, Justin Quill, proposes an intel- their core human rights. And yet our “Freedom” Commissioner’s primary focus is re- ligent middle-ground solution (Herald Sun, 10/3). He suggests that a more ap- storing the right to spew hate speech. Forgive me for being cynical, but it feels like propriate benchmark might be the provisions presently operating in Victoria. The Mr Wilson’s appointment and the 18C debate is a demented sideshow, concocted to Victorian Racial and Religious Tolerance Act sets the bar at comments that cause distract us from frightening human rights abuses happening on our watch. “hatred, serious contempt, revulsion or severe ridicule” based on someone’s race. In this sense, there is legal protection for most extreme cases, while also upholding that most critical space in which debate must occur for the sake of a healthy democ- racy. 12 COMICS

%&'&%&()(*

/+*)/. % %&  0+%-+(  & &%*%-&. ')(-)(*%&.+%&.  -&- & '+%, )(*

%&1+/ )+(%2(&0

  $   $ '             '%&&3 '            '             ` '         '                !"#  

Paden Hunter 13

Melbourne Law School

Experiences that mean the world

The Melbourne JD Law degree www.law.unimelb.edu.au/jd

Australia’s first, Australia’s global. 14 OPINION

The real life sentence

Tia Singh And rightfully so, Mr Bleijie. In the past, Cowan has flat from the local bar after drinks with workmates and been sentenced to jail time for child sex offences. How- was raped and killed? Her attacker, Adrian Bayley, had ever, on both occasions, in 1987 and 1993, after having 16 counts of rape and 11 years of jail time to his name. Every time I look at Denise Morcombe, my heart spent only half of his sentences behind bars, he was al- He was out on parole when he murdered Jill. Victorian breaks a little. She has a lost look on her face, a con- lowed back on the streets. The reasoning provided by Premier, Denis Napthine, said that “the system failed stant sadness that only the families of victims can em- Justice Atkinson for not giving Cowan a harsher non- Ms Meagher”. The story is the same – an opportunistic, pathise with. Her 13-year-old son, Daniel Morcombe, parole period was that it would be a “perverse incen- repeat offender let back on the streets to attack again. disappeared on 7 December 2003 while on his way to tive” for sexual predators “to kill their victims” in order Bayley is now serving a minimum of 35 years behind buy Christmas presents for the family. Ten years on, we to avoid being caught. bars for the rape and murder of Jill. Compare this to now know that Daniel was abducted and killed by serial If anything, I believe the Morcombe case demon- Cowan’s 20...sound sufficient? child sex offender Brett Peter Cowan. On 14 March 2014, strates that be it 10 days or 10 years later, the families I note that the above comparisons are two different Cowan was sentenced to life imprisonment with a non- parole period of 20 years. Twenty years? That is only and authorities will not rest until they catch the culprit. jurisdictions, however, the principle remains the same. the statutory minimum standard non-parole period for Had Cowan, and then some, served their initial sen- A life is a life, be it a child, an adult or a senior citizen, murder in Queensland. tences, they would not have had the opportunity to at- and to take away somebody’s liberty to live, through a It turns out that Justice Atkinson, knowing Cowan’s tack again. They would be locked up, away from society, sexual attack or by ending their life itself, is a disgrace criminal history, and having the capacity to ensure he where they belong. This is a criminal who admits that and deserves the harshest of sentences. And repeat of- rotted in jail a lot longer than 20 years, didn’t get it by 18, he had preyed on 30 children at his local swim- fenders? You can guess what my thoughts are… right. One week after sentencing, the Queensland At- ming pool. This is a criminal whose second victim was In all of this, though, I truly believe the real life sen- torney-General, Jarrod Bleijie, has announced that the found with such brutal physical injuries, that police ini- tence is served by the victims and the families of those sentence will be appealed. He describes the non-parole tially suspected he had been hit by a car… who face these horrific crimes. period given as “manifestly inadequate” on the “worst Remember Jill Meagher? The ABC employee who of the worst” of child sex offenders. was walking the five-minute distance to her Melbourne RIP Daniel Morcombe – your legacy lives on. Increased fees deserve a Linda Ma (@lindicator) recommendations, instead of a garbled version filtered represent only 14.8 per cent of undergraduate students. through Facebook. The facts are: The Go8, their hand Demand-driven funding has done little to improve this forced by lean financial situations, have proposed that situation. By contrast, it has increased numbers of stu- What’s making the rounds of student activism re- students in degrees with high projected private finan- dents from high-SES backgrounds, but with ATARs be- cently? The notion that Australia’s Group of Eight (Go8) cial returns should pay more for their education. Their low 60. The concentration of university entrants from universities have abandoned students’s interests in a proposal is to deregulate the cost of such degrees, from wealthy backgrounds is even more notable in “pres- submission to the current federal government higher the set $11,725 at present. Greater money would allow tige” degrees like law, commerce and accounting. education review. The National Day of Action, concur- these courses to be taught with more resources and a It is untrue that the Go8 proposal will lead to low- rently organised in March by the National Union of Students across Australian universities, will target this, higher level of quality. Considering these degrees are income students being shut out of these degrees. An among other cuts in the university system. only federally funded at a level of 16.5 per cent, this original architect of the HECS scheme, Professor Bruce But are students mistaking good policy for ideol- would not be as large a change in the repayments for Chapman’s research shows that under the HECS model, ogy? The notion that students enrolled in lucrative de- these students. intending students of such degrees are not statistically grees should pay more for their degrees deserves great- The facts remain that around 50 per cent of univer- affected by a rise in fees. Provided that prospective stu- er scrutiny and sympathy. sity students come from the top 10 per cent of wealthi- dents receive price signals of their future income, indi- It is useful to examine the submission from the Go8 est households (measured by the socioeconomic status cating that they expect to more than recoup the money to the Kemp & Norton review to understand its actual formula) in Australia. The bottom quarter of students they spent in obtaining their degree, they will continue OPINION 15

In defence of the right to offend

Christopher Wong There are two problems with the logic employed by ily antagonises those who hold these views. Changing this argument. First, it assumes that the airing of preju- their opinion is a far less likely prospect if they perceive dicial opinions normalises them. Second, it leads to the their rights as being infringed. “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the conclusion that stifling these opinions will reduce the If the goal is to stamp out discriminatory attitudes, death your right to say it.” level of prejudice in society. But perhaps most impor- then focus should be directed to the causes of preju- – Evelyn Hall on Voltaire tantly, it ignores our fundamental right to voice our dice, rather than its end product. Allowing an open A disturbing trend has emerged amongst those who opinions, however distasteful to others they may be. discourse has never prevented societal change from the identify with progressive politics. It is a preoccupation Finding a racist or sexist joke funny may well indi- ground up – see, for example, our changing attitudes to with the stifling of humour that is perceived as discrim- cate that you hold similar deep-seated views, but the Indigenous Australians or non-Anglo immigrants post- inatory – be it of the racial, sexual or religious persua- sharing of that joke does nothing to enforce or validate World War II. sion. This preoccupation is seen in the ardent defence those views. Offensive jokes are the result of prejudi- Most importantly, however, we should not ban of the s18C provision of the Racial Discrimination Act cial attitudes in society; they do not, however, cause speech because we deem it morally repugnant. In a fair – the “Bolt Laws”. It is also seen on university campuses those views. Those attitudes were formed as a result and egalitarian society, matters of opinion cannot be across Australia, and in the progressive media. of a knowledge deficit – a stalwart perception held of a objectively judged. Consequently, no attempt should be The premise of this argument is that offensive hu- group unaffected by facts or logic. Offensive humour is mour, be it in jest or otherwise, normalises discrimi- unlikely to be the source of those types of beliefs. It is made to do so. It is principally inconsistent to allow the natory attitudes, and consequently, should be banned. implausible to suppose that offensive jokes will encour- majority to freely speak their mind, but deny that same Sociologists have described this as an example of “So- age people who do not hold prejudicial attitudes to be- right to a minority. Our right to free speech allows for cial Dominance Theory”, whereby prejudicial social gin forming their own. all views to be discussed openly. It enriches society, and attitudes result in the subjugation of certain minority Focusing on the result of prejudicial attitudes di- encourages debate. Laws like s18C only serve to pre- groups in society. It has also been identified in other verts attention from examining the source of those vent prejudicial views being debated in an open forum, forms as the “Prejudiced Norm Theory”, which suggests views. Banning the voicing of offensive humour in where their merit or lack thereof can be assessed. that “disparagement humour” increases the tolerance public arenas does nothing to change the prejudicial at- If the goal is to tackle prejudice head on, it is better of discrimination against the subjects of that humour. titudes that formed them. Furthermore, it unnecessar- to see its true face, rather than pretend it doesn’t exist. second look to enter these careers in droves. And they do – we are Go8 submission puts it, “The policy is socially regres- richness of our society. Most of us would conclude it is seeing massive surpluses in law and commerce gradu- sive…and requires a larger relative contribution from preferable that more of our young people are given the ates that do not necessarily match the demand for such those in the taxpaying community who are less able to opportunity to invest in their own futures and to share professionals. pay.” in the benefits of higher education. The average male law graduate can expect to earn Even if economics comes out to show the enrich- Ultimately, it is the government’s responsibility to nearly $1.2 million more in their lifetime compared to ment of these graduates, does there remain questions extract the greatest possible benefit for the public from the median male school-leaver. Considering the cost of of intergenerational equity? After all, in the days that the investment of public money. This outcome is not an individual law degree amounts to just over $30,000, our political leaders went to university, university was a achieved through subsidising investment – beyond it is a lucrative investment a student makes in their negligible or lesser cost. While our principles of equity what is necessary to incentivise courses of public ben- future earning capacity. In the (statistically unlikely) may be intuitively offended, this is only because, in the efit – in the employability of students who will end up event that such a student did not earn more than the past, there were much more greater inequities of op- being handsomely remunerated. Such costs merely repayment threshold ($51,309 p/a in 2014), they would portunity. come at the expense of those who couldn’t or didn’t not be required to repay their loan. It seems unjustifi- Excluding the economically unsustainable period seek higher education. able to hand out money to students who will soon be of free university education, historically, higher educa- relatively very wealthy compared to the general popu- tion in Australia has been limited to the very wealthy, or lation – at the expense of the very taxpayers who now a very narrow tranche of the extremely talented, with find themselves, by comparison, impoverished. As the negative impacts for the intellectual and economic 16 COMIC

PADEN HUNTER CREATIVE / OPINION 17 Love Bacon What’s the deal Amos Robinson with Kale? “Love bacon? Like to travel? Hate gravity?” B-Stein fondled his last memories of Earth as he unexcitedly, indiscriminately picked at his breakfast. Terra. Solid ground. It had been three years since he felt the Laksha Prasad (@lakshaprasad) ground, and three years of eating the same bacon every day. And it was the same bacon. It was the same atoms of carbon, sodium, iron, and whatever else he had brought with him, reconstituted from his effluvient, delicately pressed together to It’s the latest trendy accessory to put on your fork, and the most popular green form the shape of some dead animal. thing since Shrek – kale. Yes, the vegetable that all of our parents attempted to While B-Stein is preoccupied with his breakfast, strange vibrations are starting to lace our dinners with (and an accomplice to the dreaded brussel sprouts), has emanate from small electromagnets around the ship. The vibrations move through now become the most sought-out culinary delight on the trendy bandwagon. the recycled air, and reach B-Stein in a few milliseconds. But why has this dull, salty cabbage-variant accrued such popularity? I mean, “Christ”, he muttered, “not another one”. it lacks the creativity of the “Cronut” and the glamour of Beluga caviar, yet it His crewmate F-Meier had been experimenting with the porkulator, trying to ex- seems to have outlasted both on the trend scale. tract something slightly less porky, but all his experiments so far had ended up as a Could it be that it is a recently discovered “super-vegetable”, like the “Black ball of plasmodic, flaming flesh. Galaxy Tomato”? B-Stein started to undo the velcro that was conveniently fastening him to his Answer – not likely! seat. The loud crackling zipping, which he had relished as a child, brought no joy to The origins of kale are firmly rooted in Europe during the early Middle Ages him any more. He felt a strange, yet familiar, sensation of air passing by him as he (pun intended), where it was incredibly popular amongst peasants who grew it was sucked towards a new hole in the ship’s hull. He didn’t feel particularly cold, but due to its low maintenance as a sustenance-plant. did find it quite hard to breathe. This caused him a great amount of stress. He didn’t However, remnants of kale cuisine can also be traced to Greece in fourth cen- think of his wife L-Stein or their unborn child. tury B.C., and East Africa. ****** It’s also important to note that during World War II, the “Dig For Victory” cam- paign encouraged the cultivation of kale, which was easy to grow and seen to After the porkulator explosion of ’808, the hull breach was, purely by accident, supplement the nutrients that rationing removed. If you need propaganda to sealed by the porkulator itself. Despite plans to remove the porkulator and weld support the growth of this vegetable, it definitely doesn’t sell itself! the hull shut, by the time they were ready, the exterior was already overgrown with So, kale has been around for a very long time and obviously doesn’t possess meat. A committee was formed, and it was decided not to risk further injury and that “novelty” factor that normally oils the wheels of a rampant bandwagon. leave the porkulator where it was. Plus, it tasted much better now. Could it be that it tastes remarkable (or remar-kale-ble for that matter)? ****** I guess it is up to personal preference, but if you enjoy a very neutrally fla- B-Stein with L-Stein née Schön begat B-Stein-II, who with K-Stein née Meier be- voured (or at best – “salty”), papery vegetable, then this is the cabbage of your gat P-Berg née Stein. dreams. F-Meier with M-Meier née Feldt begat K-Stein née Meier. Kale and its myriad of varieties are most commonly incorporated in mashed F-Berg begat J-Berg, mother unknown; J-Berg and P-Berg née Stein begat T-Berg. potatoes or deep-fried into “Kale Chips”. ****** Frankly, the prospect of silently strewing it through chunks of potato, or fry- T-Berg put on his shaving suit. The shaving suit had begun life as an ordinary ing it so deeply in batter that it ceases to have any taste at all, speaks volumes of space suit, designed primarily for keeping oxygen in and radiation out. After a few its appeal to the palate. unfortunate accidents shaving the pork, however, it was decided that it must also That’s probably because the traditional Danish dish of “stewed kale” is just keep very sharp objects such as carving knives out as well. way too green-intensive to appeal to anyone at all? T-Berg gave a firm tug on each of the fastenings, seals, rings and pinnipeds of his How about the “well it’s just so exotic” factor? suit. No oxygen would be escaping today. He shook the carving knife to check the Kale comes in six main “cultivars” – curly-leaved, plain-leaved, cavolo nero, fuel, and heard sufficient petrol splashing inside its tank. jersey, leaf and spear, and rape kale – none of which has a particularly striking T-Berg had some trouble negotiating the ship without his velcro boots, and slow- appeal, except for the variety named after a state offence. But personally, I’m ly worked his way to the airlock. He closed the inner lock, took the pressure down, against all forms of sexual harassment, even the leafy ones! and opened the outer lock. Before leaving through the outer lock, he pulled on the The colours range from dark purple to dark green, depending on the climate cord and started the carving knife. and region it is grown in, which may add to the attraction slightly. He shimmied out of the lock, turning on his electromagnetic boots to anchor him However, on a geographical scale, kale and its varieties are now readily avail- to the exterior of the hull. able on a global scale, and as its origins are relatively found in most continents, “Strange”, he thought, “there doesn’t seem to be any growth since last week. the exotic factor is not very strong here. Something must be wrong with the porkulator”. The nutrition; it must be the bloody nutrition – please tell me that it’s just re- The hull breach where the porkulator was embedded was a five minute walk ally freakin’ healthy! away, and he walked there uneventfully. He hadn’t been this far from the airlock be- This is the most plausible reason for the longevity of the kale craze that has fore, but it all looked the same: a sea of meat, seared from the unfiltered radiation of swept over the world. a thousand distant stars. As diet regimes continue to keep the organic aisle of your local Woolies He identified the porkulator as a large protrusion of meat, and started digging packed with gym junkies stocking up on quinoa and protein shakes, fresh veg- away with the carving knife. He stuffed what he could into his carry bag, and let the etables, such as the iron and vitamin-rich kale, will remain at the top rung of the rest drift away into the void. trends ladder. As he got deeper, his anxiety grew. Nobody had seen the porkulator since ’808. Kale is naturally a robust source of calcium and vitamin A, C and K. It’s also What if he reopened the hull? No, it was unlikely that he could reopen the hull. That low in calories and great for cardiovascular health – which is probably why entire section of the interior had been filled with meat for generations. He kept dig- “green juices” have become such a strong competitor on the juice market. ging, and finally reached a metal compartment, like a safe or a refrigerator. It seems the rise of the fitness-frenzy has coerced the renewal of the kale T-Berg had studied well, and knew a bit about porkulator mechanics: you had craze – and not its natural charisma as an archaic, tasteless cabbage-variant. the source material that needed to be kept frozen so it wouldn’t get rancid, and the Kale has put the “it” in fitness, and everyone is strapping on his or her joggers probes into the source material to inspect the DNA and structure. The effluvient in- to catch a ride on this bandwagon. put pipes were then filtered, processed and the output was a delicious porky meal, full of vitamins, calcium, and everything else your body decided it didn’t want in the first place. T-Berg carved around the refrigerator door and pried it open. The light didn’t turn on. One thing T-Berg knew about refrigerators and freezers was that they had lights. He turned his headlamp on and peered in, to find the perfectly preserved face of his maternal great grandfather. 18 REVIEWS

Dark Souls II Recondite Game review by Jeremy Szal Live Music review by Kyle Redman

Welcome to the land of Dark Souls. You will die. Get this in your brain. You will A renovated Club 77 played host to Berlin-based house, techno and acid producer die, and die, and die, and die, and then die again. You will rage, throw your control- Recondite. At home in the underground basement, the German took the stage right ler across the room in frustration, and then pick it up again and die some more. on lockout in front of a crowded 77. It’s a venue that has come and gone in the years, This is what makes Dark Souls II a brilliant game. but it’s recently making an attempted revival. In its latest iteration, the club venue For those unfamiliar with the sequel to one of the most difficult RPGs ever cre- feels much larger, having done away with the display cages and sealed DJ booth. ated, this is a game that is meant to test you, to push you to your limits – both physi- Warming things up from a 9:30 pm open until the 1:30 am kick-off were locals cally and mentally. This is a game for those who are sick of having their hand held Aaron Robins and BROHN, both playing some typical house to deep house one by modern games and are willing to embark on a journey that is pure man versus would regularly find at a S.A.S.H night. After a while of this, the floor lost momen- machine. Don’t believe me? tum, with melodic breakdowns and track changes out of nowhere being the most In order for you to progress, you need to collect souls, level up, kill bosses and frequent transgressions. None of this was grinding enough to warrant some fresh advance through. Standard procedure, eh? Listen up. air, though – just a break on the couches with a beer in anticipation. Each time you die, you lose all of your souls, a chunk your health and go back Recondite’s set was billed as “live” – but this should always been taken with a to the last checkpoint. Is that checkpoint an hour back the way you came? Did you grain of salt. The use of “live” here just implies the set will be short and composed have 20,000 souls? Is your health almost cut in half? Too bad. You go back. And of his original content (in contrast to a longer DJ set of probably three hours with every enemy respawns. You cannot sell your weapons for more souls. You can’t save varying input). up your souls. You either have them or spend them. What “live” did mean for us basement dwellers was an hour-and-a-half-long set If you do die, you have one chance to redeem yourself: If you can get back to of Recondite’s catalogue of tracks from huge international labels such as Ghostly In- where you died (with less health, less resources and facing each enemy again), you’ll ternational, Hotflush and Acid Test, as well as recent EPs from Innervisions and the get your souls back. If not, then they’re gone forever, and you can never get them suitably themed Berlin-based label Dystopian. The platform of DJing with his own back. productions allowed him to do some small edits of his own tracks while completely So why the hell would anyone want to play this? Dark Souls II gives a feeling of respecting their intentions and architecture. This “live” show wasn’t going to mind- reward and accomplishment that few games can ever attempt to provide. There is lessly rearrange tracks for the sake of doing something creative live. nothing more satisfying than killing that boss that stood in your way for so many Visiting his own take on the old Roland 303 sound in tracks “Felicity” and “Tie hours and caused so many deaths. The incredible feeling of journeying with a friend In” from his album On Acid, Recondite changed the mood completely when he took or stranger in co-op and hacking your way through a difficult challenge is immense- control of the Funktion Ones. Perfectly suited to the dark basement, tracks “Cleric” ly fulfilling. But that can vanish in an instant if your partner suddenly turns on you, and “EC10” had their eerie melodies floating off the walls, while the deep sub bass stealing your souls and wiping your progress away. seemed to visibly force the crowd to move. The world is a morbid, yet subtle one, filled with hopelessness and despair, The crowd did thin as it approached 3 am, mainly due to the lockout. Anyone though with tiny flickers of hope on the very horizon. Travelling through this dark who actually did leave missed the closing few tracks from the most recent Innervi- fantasy world and its bizarre locations, disturbing lore and vicious enemies is an ex- sions PSY EP. “Fiery” and “PSY” are a step away from the melancholic house or acid perience that you can’t get anywhere else. I’ve been gaming for a decade and a half, on albums On Acid and Hinterland – instead, they pace further in the direction of and never has a game ever been so rewarding, so daunting, so brutal, so rich, so un- degraded Berlin-inspired techno. forgiving, and so utterly addictive as Dark Souls. It’s always special when a little piece of Berlin makes its way to Sydney, be it Dett- If you have the dedication, the willingness to fight, the strength to get back up on mann’s set last month or Len Faki playing just last week. Recondite was no differ- your feet every time you’re knocked down, and – most importantly – the skill and ent, treating Sydney to a special set composed entirely of the catalogue of this rising patience, then Dark Souls II will reward you. That I can guarantee. house and techno star. Keep an eye out for more releases on Hotflush and Acid Test Prepare to die. this year. wanted: Science contributors Hi there generic UNSW science student. You probably know a lot of cool shit. We want to know about it too. Tharunka is looking for contributors interested in writing about science. If that's you, and you're cool - you're in. REVIEWS 19

Season Two Sex, Love & Rammstein – House of Cards Nymphomaniac Albert Santos @albertinho Review by Catherine Knight

The strangest thing about House of Cards is how it is even considered television. Director Lars von Trier somehow manages to make a four-hour marathon of art- A more apt name would be: “A 14-hour cinematic drama delivered via a web-based Nymphomaniac. The two-part, platform”. There is nothing remotely “episodic” about it, especially when compared sexually explicit drama injects heavy emotion into telling the life of self-confessed nym- to the equally enthralling, long-form BBC original. Netflix’s House of Cards laughs at the entire concept of televised episodes, begging its audience to watch the whole WR7 series in a single binge (pizza delivery on speed-dial recommended). With this in of her life. mind, as well as the nature of Netflix itself – a service that gets live data of a user’s $$7$&$$ tastes every time they log on – it’s hard not to be cynical about Frank and Claire Un- by the mundane, as Joe’s highly erotic life is fairly normal in all other areas. This allows derwood’s rise to power. for a more real telling of sex addiction and the fantastical entanglements she experi- Season Two (titled Chapters 14 to 26) picks up right where we left off: Frank Un- ences. Using porn doubles for its principal actors, Nymphomaniac challenges the au- derwood (Kevin Spacey, whose devilish Southern drawl remains the shows high- 7(UR$ light) is now Vice President, journalist Zoe Barnes (Kate Mara) has information that as you choke on your popcorn. Yet despite the graphic nature of the sex scenes, it still could get him arrested, and there is a whole realm of people either playing or being comes across as less gratuitous and objectifying than most mainstream James Bond- played. This season sees the new Vice President move towards gaining control of the /+$4&_1[W4- presidency, currently occupied by Garrett Walker (Michael Gill). ment he established, is to avoid the Hollywood gloss-over. If “the grittier the better” is To get there means not only keeping past skeletons well hidden – a subplot re- his motto, von Trier has certainly achieved that with Nymphomaniac. volving around the lewd past of Claire Underwood (Robin Wright) develops – but The story avoids a lot of easy tropes in exploring the childhood of a sex addict. also means destroying Walker’s closest ally, philanthropist Raymond Tusk (Gerald Where many other texts reason that hypersexuality in adulthood is the consequence of McRaney). McRaney’s Tusk is the closest the series has ever got to a true antagonist either sexual abuse in youth, or simply just “daddy issues”, Nymphomaniac refuses to to Underwood; equal parts Clive Palmer and Rupert Murdoch, you hate him nigh- stereotype Joe’s story. Instead, we see a very healthy and loving relationship between immediately. It’s to McRaney’s credit that we actually begin to cheer on Underwood’s Joe and her father, played by Christian Slater. The heavy focus on the father-daughter political games, instead of merely looking on in curious disgust. relationship shows Joe’s genuine warmth as a person, completely separate from her It’s this curious disgust, though, that continues to drive House of Cards. Without sex life. giving too much away, several major players are written out with such efficiency Indie film queen Charlotte Gainsbourg gives an outstanding performance play- that it makes acting in Game of Thrones look like a secure job. One pivotal exchange ing the adult Joe. Intensely captivating on screen, she has the audience as equally in the last chapter, however, between Claire and a former marine proves to be the engaged watching her simply talk in a cramped room as they are watching her set crux of not only the series, but the whole show itself: After all these murders, back- fire to a car or fuck her brains out. Shia LaBeouf (despite his confused accent that stabbings and political games, what do we make of the real people who are affected? travels between American, cockney English and South African) is equally brilliant When did a system designed to serve the people become so evil? in his thoroughly unsympathetic role. House of Cards is – at face value – one of the best TV shows around and definitely Nymphomaniac uses unique storytelling that really pushes the visual medium. Ma- worth watching. But on a meta-level, it may well be one of the worst. It’s at once ex- +_77$ ploiting our established attachment with a medium it doesn’t use – for us to watch V/$$7V a show it developed through methodical equation; everyone loves political dramas 4&477$$$- like The West Wing and Scandal, so this will be good. It establishes cynicism in gov- ages in conversation. ernment, but doesn’t acknowledge the cynicism it develops towards itself. It proves The soundtrack throughout is beautiful, and for the most part, evokes a gen- that codifying mainstream artistic taste has become so efficient that it can get criti- tle melancholy in tone. This is hilariously deviated from with Rammstein’s “Fuhre cal acclaim, win awards and develop cult status – and get away with it. Mich” and Talking Heads’ “Burning Down the House” – choices which reflect a self- In all fairness, it’s a move that’d even make Frank proud. aware humour of the film’s own pretension. Nymphomaniac refuses to sentimentalise, glorify or exploit the story of a sex addict and gives no real closure to the audience through a message. Criticised for its “shock 4c7/7

Nymphomaniac hits cinemas on the 27th of March 20 SRC / PGC REPORTS

campus; and our International and Ethn- also been invited to sit on the board of should the unexpected happen – to get ocultural Office bearers have been work- the Australian Disability Clearinghouse along with studies while they find some- where permanent to stay. ing hard to build up their collectives to for Education and Training. There has We’ve been hard at work planning for make sure that they are representing you never been a student advisor on this NDA (queer blocs, yay!) as well as the In- as best as they can. Make sure you like board, and I’m really excited to be in- ternational Trans* Day of Visibility. As al- our Facebook page and sign up to our volved. I’m currently trying to work out ways, our meetings are held twice week- mailing list, so that you keep up to date how to start up a social wheelchair bas- ly on Mondays and Thursdays, 4 – 6 pm with all of our events and campaigns. ketball league on campus and will try at the Queer Space. If you’re interested, and get my hands on some funds, so stay please email [email protected] tuned! Now that we’ve got our new Wel- and we’ll happily answer any questions fare Officer Brendan on board, collective SRC President you have. meetings will be held at 3 pm on Tues- Joel Wilson Love, Dylan and Cassie :) days in the Disability and Welfare Space. Hi, all – mid-semester break is creep- ing up, which means we are almost half- way through Semester 1. What a perfect time to reflect on the positive and nega- tive aspects of this university, so that you can make sure the rest of your university experience is even better. Arc is currently conducting an exten- sive consultation process, so that we can Education Officer identify where student services expendi- Billy Bruffey ture should be prioritised. You can con- The March 26 National Day of Ac- tribute by answering the SSAF Survey, tion was a huge success, and a victory or by entering submissions on what ser- for the Education Collective. With hun- Welfare Officer vices you think need increased funding. dreds there on the day, the Collective Environment Officer Brendan Byron We can then use this data to lobby for the has shown that we can affect change and Nicholas Gurieff Hi guys, changes we believe are necessary and in- have fun at the same time! But the Col- After the first RESOC BBQ of the year, Brendan here! There are some big is- clude a clear list of recommendations to lective never stops – the next month is the collaborative RenewUNSW initiative sues in student welfare at the moment, the University. going to be just as big as any. We have is kicking off with a number of volun- like the changes to withdrawal proce- The last report led to the introduction plans to make huge changes to the way teers beginning work on our first report. dures. Not many people know this: If of new retail outlets on campus, includ- we enrol in courses, to course outlines, The research offers the opportunity you withdraw from a course without aca- ing Subway and IGA, three microwave and the late withdrawal procedure. And to gain professional experience in the demic penalty this year, even if you’ve banks, increased study spaces and the we need all the volunteers we can get! So growing fields of energy efficiency and got a good reason for doing so, it will go transfer of sporting clubs to Arc. But we come along to the Education Collective. renewable energy while contributing to on your transcript forever. want more for UNSW students. Help us We meet each Thursday at 12 noon at the something meaningful. Imagine attending job interviews five fight for increased funding to medical Blockhouse. Shoot me an email for more If you’d like to get involved, feel free to years from now and explaining that time services and the Student Equity and Dis- details: [email protected] drop in on our weekly meetings at 11 am you contracted a chronic illness, or suf- ability Unit (SEADU), so that you can re- Tuesdays in the Activist Space on Level 1 fered a personal tragedy. These changes ceive the help you need to make the most of the Blockhouse. These follow on from are bad for students, so look forward to of your university experience. the 10 am weekly Environment Collec- being pestered with petitions about it Please get in touch, or come and see tive morning-teas, where like-minded soon. me in the Blockhouse to chat about any people get together and talk about envi- Other than preparing for that, I’ve changes you would like to see at UNSW. ronment issues more broadly with some been busy with stocking the Welfare My email address is srcpresident@arc. free food and drink. If you’re looking to Room with food, providing Free Break- unsw.edu.au and you can sign up to our get in contact, or to just stay informed, fasts on the main walkway on Tuesday collectives through our website and Fa- then you can also jump on Facebook and mornings, and getting people together cebook page to keep up to date with our our website at www.srcenviro.org for Disability/Welfare Collective meet- projects and events! ings, every Tuesday from 3 pm in the Students with Disabilities Officer Blockhouse. If any of those sounds good Alexandra Little to you, come along. I’ll see you there! Hey guys! The start of semester is go- ing really well for the disability portfolio. I have met with the Director of SEADU to Connect with discuss the state of disability support at UNSW and presented the concerns that have been brought to me by students. I have also met with the Associate Dean (Education) of Medicine to address some of the unique challenges faced by medi- Queer Officers cine students with disabilities. Dylan Lloyd & Cassandra Harris General Secretary March is Epilepsy Awareness Month Hi, everyone! Maja Sieczko and we will be selling purple merchan- A lot’s been happening with Queer The SRC has been working hard this dise on behalf of Epilepsy Australia until this past month. semester to make sure that your uni ex- mid-April. I’d love to have a fundraising Our pleas with the university over- perience is one of the best. Our Welfare barbecue, but the rain doesn’t seem in- lords for Crisis Accommodation on cam- Officer has started up Free Breakfasts on terested in going away! pus and Queer Scholarships have been Tuesdays; Education is working to make I have been asked to help re-establish going well, with accommodation options sure that we have an after-hours study the Australasian Network of Students being drafted at this very moment! This space for undergrads on campus; Enviro with Disabilities, which looks like it’s will hopefully mean the existence of safe twitter.com/tharunka fb.me/tharunka is campaigning for renewable energy on going to be a really exciting project. I’ve places for any UNSW students to stay tharunka.tumblr.com SATIRE 21 Agony Ibis

Dear Agony Ibis, I’ve recently been saddened by the kidnapping of my two brothers; they and I are triplets in our family so Mr. H, we’re all exactly the same, well, kind of. We’re all bald, Your initials wouldn’t happen to be JWH would have bushy eye brows and have a penchant for cricket they? That doesn’t matter, but yes I have seen your two (even though we’re not really sporty whatsoever) and brothers around. They currently reside in a shabby the Queen. The only difference is that they’re both household in the inner west, drinking wine and smok- about a foot taller than me. Which is odd, since eve- ing cigarettes until 4 in the morning. They’re also rything else about us is the same... except that they’re enjoying the ABC and have taken a likening to small 2 dimensional and I’m 3 dimensional. I’m just calling bars. Does this annoy you? Are you scared? You should in to see if one of your many spies has seen them. I’m be. Expect a video. Perhaps of men in balaclavas. With deftly worried for their well-being, so have you? Seen a big banner in the back. Beware videos with big ban- Bill Shorten ceases to exist them? Please? ners in them. Thank you for all your help, Yours, for 24 hours, to little concern Soon-to-be-sir-Winston H. Sir Agony Ibis (yes, it’s Sir now) Ammy Singh (@ammyed)

Authorities are investigating a bizarre 24 hour time period in which Opposition Leader, Bill Shorten, went Seeking New President / Vice-Chancellor unseen and unheard from, to no obvious concern from his family, colleagues, media observers, and the entire An exciting opportunity to lead Australia’s Essential Criteria: Australian public. finest corporation-cum-educational institu- 1. 4-Point Plan transcribed on, at mini- Early reports suggest that nobody noticed. tion into the 21st century has arisen. UNSW is mum, a paper napkin. The Australian Federal Police was alerted to the dis- searching for its next President and Vice-Chan- 2. A single-minded commitment to the appearance after receiving several dozen faxes from cellor, following the imminent retirement of our ruthless pursuit of extracting the maxi- Jeremy of the ‘Wow! We need Real Leaders vote ONE for beloved benevolent ruler, Professor Fred Hilmer. mum possible “dollar dividend” from a BILL SHORTEN. Bill shorten is The MAN!!’ Facebook For too long have we suffered under the 55,000-strong student body. fan page, expressing concern at the lack of public sight- ings of Shorten in the preceding day. socialist reign of terror enacted by Professor 3. Prior experience running an industry Upon further investigation, the Opposition Leader’s Hilmer. For too long have students borne the giant, preferably of the media monolith daily skim soy caramel latte with chocolate freckles was brunt of a university committed to their educa- variety, into the ground. discovered abandoned on his desk from the previous tion over their contribution to the University’s 4. Willingness to integrate the phrase “fee morning. coffers. The time has come for direct action. deregulation” a minimum of two times Shorten was found wandering in a tailcoat in a fugue Arise, good ‘Corporate Integration Director’! into every conversation for the duration state at Manuka Oval shortly after, and told first re- Come forth, fair ‘Services Usability Specialist’! of your term. sponders that the last thing he remembered seeing was Hark, all ‘Dynamic Functionality Consultants’! Desirable criteria: “a laser-like beam emerging from Julie Bishop’s eyes”. Soon, you too shall stand upon the vast plains 1. Knighthood or damehood. Foreign Minister Bishop told Tharunka she has no of the Village Green and proclaim, “My name 2. An easily caricatured face. recollection of a laser-like beam or other laser-relat- is Vice-Chancellor, king of kings: Look on my 3. Respect for freedom of speech. ed substance within the general vicinity of, let alone works, ye mighty, and despair!”. 4. Sith Lord vibe optional. emerging from within, her eyes. “We wish Bill Shorten the swiftest of recoveries,” a spokesperson for the Bishop office said. While the Shorten family today rejoiced the return of their benevolent patriarch, authorities are still attempt- Dear Student, love A.Hack ing to piece together how such a gross oversight of a hu- man’s existence could have occurred. Connor Mulholland @connormul94 “It’s not unusual for Bill to blend into the background on occasion, but I’ve never seen anything like this in our Dear Student, five years of marriage,” said Shorten’s wife, Chloe Bryce. I hope the first few weeks of university find you well. I am writing this letter to inform you of perhaps the “And I really do mean blend into the background, spe- most amazing and fulfilling university experience open to you. You may be pondering, dear Student, what is cifically that sofa over there,” Bryce said, pointing to a this great opportunity I speak of? dull, beige sofa in the corner of the Shorten family liv- Why, it is none other than the incredibly rewarding life of university politics. It is through university politics ing room. that so many fine representatives of Australian democracy have honed their skills and learnt their trade. The Commissioner of the Australian Federal Po- I implore you to find your calling, whether that is left or right, and soon you shall be marching to the beat of lice, Tony Negus, described the scenario as “the perfect your faction’s drum! Changing the world, one flyer at a time. storm”. From protests to stacking out meetings, you shall transform yourself into a stellar hack in no time at all! You Said Negus, “every once in a while you get someone shall be the envy of all your non-political friends. They will be amazed at your insider knowledge of secretive who just flies under the radar until they cease to exist, party machinations; indeed, you will become so synonymous with factions, it is practically your middle name! but we’ve never had anyone as high profile as Mr… ah…. Before you know it, university students shall veer away from you merely upon sight, as you approach them Sorry, Mr… Sorrell?” Negus trailed off with a nervous for yet another campaign. But do not fear, dear Student, for you shall be warmly embraced into your faction, laugh. and soon they shall be your only friends. Politics will become your world! An exclusive bubble reserved for only Equally as stumped, party colleagues told Tharunka the finest provocateurs of university life. that, upon reflection, something had seemed slightly Do not fret, however, for all your countless weekends spent toeing the party line by campaigning at train sta- different about Question Time that day, namely that it tions and local shopping centres in suburbs (you secretly ridicule) shall be worthwhile. All your time spent away was better. from loved ones, or ignoring your studies, only pushes you closer to your factional overlord of an MP. They may The Opposition Leader’s office is understood to be not appear gracious or humble, but they are, because without you, they would never be able to fulfill their politi- investigating how Shorten’s absence went unnoticed cal aspirations, and like you, change the world for the better! (Or at least your resume.) for so long, in an event unheard of since Prime Minis- And so, dear Student, I hope I have convinced you to follow suit and heed my call. Join today and help con- ter Harold Holt went swimming at a beach in 1967 and tribute to the very irrelevancy of student politics. never returned. XOXO, Uni Hack 22 SPORT In defence of the last sport people would expect me to follow gotta let the A’s breeeeeeeathe!”). Adam Rose, a rock star whose entrance involves lots of thrusting and a posse of partygoers carrying him on their shoulders, is another favourite of mine. At times the acting is terri- ble, or the plot is ridiculous, but you love those parts for the same reason you love awful movies like The Room, Birdemic or Troll 2 – because it’s really fucking fun. Some people take issue with the idea that it’s “fake” and that the outcomes of each match are scripted. While some moves are choreographed, a lot of wres- tling is actually improvised, and no wrestler leaves a match without a few good bruises and cuts. They’re not hitting as hard as they let on, or throwing with as much force as their opponent’s reactions would have you believe, but there’s nothing fake about dislocated jaws, ruptured spinal disks, broken necks or torn reti- nas – all of which have happened to WWE stars in the past. Many of the throws, submission holds and other moves are not only akin to high-level gymnastics, but elicit that same engrossing sense of amazement from Sarah Fernandes (@sezdra) provokes everything from laughter to aggression to sheer disbelief from people. I, too, used to think wres- the audience (if you don’t believe me, look up the latest tling was just beefed up, testosterone-fuelled dude-bros NXT match between Sami Zayn and Antonio Cesaro). pretending to hit each other for the spectacle of other Secondly, its semi-fictional nature doesn’t make it In the lead up to the biggest wrestling event of the beefed up, testosterone-fuelled dude-bros. But the fur- any less enjoyable. You wouldn’t call out Star Wars as year – WrestleMania 30 – I need to make a confession: I ther I dug into wrestling lore, the more I realised it was unworthy of praise just because it’s “fake”. In fact, the fucking love professional wrestling. so much bigger than that. notion that there’s a story behind every punch and kick I watch it almost religiously every week, download- What a lot of people don’t realise about pro wrestling makes each move that little bit more exciting. ing WWE’s Monday Night Raw as soon as it airs in the is that it has a storyline. Each wrestler has a character Thirdly, because of this semi-fictional aspect, wres- US. I look up GIFs of my favourite moments. I listen to that exists within WWE’s fictional universe, which is tling is one of the only sports in the world where fan’s podcasts with my favourite wrestlers on them. I look often based on their real life persona. Allegiances are opinions can change the course of a match. The popu- up old matches on YouTube. I speculate with my only broken; friendships are formed; the authority becomes larity of Daniel Bryan amongst fans has seen him go other two friends who watch it about what will happen corrupt; and sometimes, the most loyal good guys turn from WWE underdog to gaining a match against the next. out to be evil all along. These are classic tropes of the COO of the company at the biggest wrestling event of The thing is, almost nobody else I know loves it, and good versus evil stories not uncommon in the superhe- the year. they’re often surprised to find out that I do. I was raised ro, western and sci-fi movies we all so readily consume. The WWE does have its flaws. Its women’s division, on a diet of British comedy and extra homework by im- Watching indie darling Daniel Bryan gain a grass- like in many other sports, is severely underrepresented migrant parents who valued education and intelligence roots following with the Yes Movement, challenging and is perceived to be “lesser” than the men’s division. above all else, especially sport. My friendship circle is the corrupt authority, is stimulating in the other-world- When boring characters are pitted against each other, a comprised mostly of lanky, Bukowski-reading, Tom ly way only fiction can be. It’s this storytelling layer that match can lose its appeal pretty quickly. Waits-loving board game enthusiasts – not really the I love, and it’s what makes it so much more than just an For all its strengths and weaknesses, though, I still people you’d expect to see at a WWE match. athletic display. love pro wrestling. The fact that people like Simon Fans of wrestling are all too familiar with dealing Of course, some characters are plain absurd – but Pegg, Nick Frost, Andy Kaufman, Gillian Jacobs, Max with the negative stigma surrounding the sport (note that’s part of the appeal. There’s Fandango, the se- Landis, Billy Corgan, and even Werner Herzog, enjoy that when I say “sport”, I’m only referring to wrestling’s quined ballroom dancer, who refuses to wrestle unless it too gives me solace in the fact that loving something athletic nature). Mentioning that you watch wrestling the announcer pronounces his name correctly (“You for what it genuinely is, and not getting bogged down Is Formula One too quiet? Sam Davies @spdavies Only one race into the new season, and already there of the 2.4-litre V8 engines from 2013 with 1.6-litre V6 are question marks around the decision of the FIA, turbo power units. The difference in sound is, unde- F1’s governing body, to introduce a raft of new rule and niably, dramatic. For a start, the old cars were much, regulations for this year. Perhaps the most high-profile much louder. In fact, punters could not watch the races, Australian motorsport fans were out in force for of these, Aussie disgust at their man’s disqualification which last close to two hours, without wearing ear pro- the first race of the new Formula One season on March aside, has surrounded the introduction of new engines tectors lest they wanted to become deaf. The old V8s 16th, and they were treated to some fantastic action. to power this year’s cars. But this is not a technical is- were also distinct for their high-pitched scream as they Much of it was provided by local lad Daniel Ricciardo sue. Rather, some fans and drivers have argued that accelerated. In their place, the new engines (or ‘power in his first race for Red Bull Racing team, the current these new regulations have negatively impacted on the units’, as they should be called on the because of the Championship holders. The season-opening Mel- sound the cars make. Formula One’s supremo Bernie presence of their hybrid energy recovery systems) are bourne Grand Prix, held on March 16th, saw Riccardo Ecclestone said recently that he was “horrified” by the quieter. The sound is also a deep, grunting, rumbling claim second place, much to the delight of the home noise made by this year’s new breed of F1 cars. He even drone, replacing the previous screeching. crowd. He was later disqualified for failing to abide by claimed that they didn’t “sound like racing cars”. The change has not only upset some fans and strict new fuel limit rules introduced this year. Damn. The argument stems from a host of new rules have Mr.Ecclestone, but even led to the organisers of the The new fuelling system has not, however, been the been introduced for this season’s World Championship, Australia Grand Prix to threaten legal action because only controversy surrounding this year’s F1. the most significant of which being the replacement the new sound represented, they claimed, a breach of SPORT 23

Li Na’s No. 1 Fantasy Lawrence Leung and the French Open. Therefore, she cannot gain points at any of these tournaments – instead, she must defend them. Any single loss will cost Williams hundreds of Serena Williams’s prolonged boycott of the Indian points (maybe even thousands if she exits early at the Wells tournament also has a practical impact on the French Open), which opens the door for Li Na. women’s tour. By electing not to play, she forgoes a po- Defending champion Williams has “only” won on tential one thousand ranking points. Serena has never the clay courts of the French Open once in the last 11 concerned herself with rankings – she’s won a major years – Li Na won it back in 2011. The clay courts of the ranked No. 81 in the world – but she enjoys the perks upcoming tennis season are not ideal for either woman, of being world No. 1. Currently boasting a total of 181 so it would not be surprising for an early upset at some weeks at No. 1, you may think Serena would cruise her point during the season. If that were not enough, Ser- way to an impressive two-hundredth week at the top. ena has another 3,800 points to defend between Wim- However, she may need to keep an eye out for No. 2 Li bledon and the US Open, as well as 2,500 points after Na. the Grand Slam season. Serena Williams, at the time of writing, owns 12,660 Of course, Li Na also has points to defend – a paltry ranking points, which stands 5,475 points above Li – a eight hundred points compared to 5,370 for the clay seemingly insurmountable advantage, considering that season. Li lost early in premier lead-up tournaments, winning one Grand Slam tournament earns a player a as well as at the French Open, which means she has a mere 2000 points. chance to gain thousands of points if she finds the form Despite this, the complexities of tennis’s ranking sys- that pushed her strong title run at the Australian Open. tem provide a ray of hope for the No. 2. Tennis players Li Na had a strong finish to the year, but she still has earn rankings points by winning successive matches in many chances to gain points. With a renewed love of a tournament. These points are awarded for 52 weeks, tennis, and an openly expressed desire to win another or until that same tournament is completed again the major and become world No. 1, it’s now or never for Li following year. For example, Andy Murray won Wim- Na. bledon 2013, thus earning him 2000 ranking points. Although Li Na has struggled since her triumph at He maintains those points until the conclusion of Wim- the Australian Open, her penchant for unpredictability, bledon 2014, after which, he will lose all 2000 ranking as well as her natural ability, does not preclude her from points. To maintain the same number of points, Mur- another miracle shot at a major. After ascending to No. ray must “defend” his points and win Wimbledon 2014, 2 and winning her second Grand Slam, Li Na wants which will again earn him 2000 points. Therefore, he more. cannot gain any points from Wimbledon this year – he Already far and away the most decorated Asian ten- only stands to lose or “defend” his ranking. nis superstar in history, Li Na is at the peak of her game. So how does this impact Li Na? Well consider this: It’s fascinating to watch two 32-year-old women (many Having won every single match between late Febru- tennis superstars retire before their late 20s) continue ary and early June in 2013, Serena Williams has 5,370 to strive and fight to be on top. If Li Na can pull through, points to defend at Miami, Charleston, Rome, Madrid you heard it here first.

contract. Despite this, the cars undoubtedly still sound his Red Bull debut, and Kevin Magnussen, in his first ally, I like it. It’s a deep, strong, drone, as opposed to the like racing cars, whatever Bernie argues. No doubt the ever F1 race at only twenty-one years of age, finished monotone screech on previously. Anyway, at least you noise is less, but it is layered with more depth and intri- third. Unpredictability and excitement were restored. can now watch a race without your ears bleeding. cacies, where before one was presented with only a vio- The new engines are also widely regarded as pre- lent scream. The noise of the old beasts was undoubt- senting a greater challenge to drivers. Many have long edly exciting for the first lap or two, but after two hours complained that the sport has become far too much of persistent ear-splitting noisiness many spectators about computers, strategy, and tyre management. The found the noise tedious, painful in fact. extra torque of the new engines, as well as (more) new What’s more, the new engines excel in many other rules that have reduced aerodynamic downforce on the areas where the V8 was deficient. The reasons for the cars, has brought genuine driver skill back to the fore- new rules were to spice up a sport that had been becom- front of Formula One, where it belongs. These new cars ing more and more predictable over the last few sea- are also around 35% more efficient than last year’s, a sons and which was in danger of stagnating. Sebastian step in a greener direction for the sport. Vettel has won the last four championships, the last With all these strengths, it seems petty to focus on pretty comfortably. In Melbourne this year, Vettel failed this one perceived weakness of the new V6s, the sound. to finish. Ricciardo (originally) claimed second place in Indeed, the noise of the cars is a matter of taste. Person- 24

UniGames in Sydney after 11 years

Niko Pajarillo different sports, with a whole lot of ath- UniGames in July, before the actual Aus- have to fill that out for me and that will letes getting together for a week. But, tralian UniGames in September. The Re- let me tell them when the trials are. @nikopajarillo given that it’s university-based, it sort of gional games are smaller tournaments, “Similarly, if they like our Facebook turns into a week-long party as well!” which involve universities playing only page (Arc Sport Unsw), they’ll keep up- A huge sporting competition pitting all Arc sports development coordinator against others within their region. For dated there about when we’re gonna major universities across Australia against Scott Nicholson agrees, saying getting example, universities in Queensland and each other in a blazing fight for glory. have the trials for each sport. We’ll put involved is a must for all sports enthu- the Northern Territory would participate the trial details up through all our media A tournament held exclusively for stu- siasts: “Having been to four Australian in the Northern Unigames, whereas uni- channels like Facebook and our email. dents, representing only their university, to UniGames myself, it’s the best memory versities from Victoria and South Aus- We’ll even put up some posters, so eve- assuredly prove which institution truly pro- I have of when I went to university. It’s tralia would participate in the Southern ryone knows when and where they are.” duces the most exceptional athletes. the most fun you’ll ever have in a week. UniGames. “The Olympics of university sport”, People you’ve met before will become UNSW fields teams in the Eastern Regional games trials will take place crammed into a single action-packed your best friends for life in the space of UniGames division, played in Newcastle from Week 5 to Week 8 this semester, week in one of the country’s major cities. five days.” this year. with the actual games spanning from Sounds more like something out of a 2014 marks the first year the Austral- “Regional games are really just anoth- July 6 to July 10 in Newcastle. movie or children’s TV show, doesn’t it? ian UniGames will be played in Sydney er opportunity for participation, and it Australian UniGames trials will start Well, it’s real, and it’s happening since 2001, with every second year being includes some different sports than the around Week 2, semester two, with the again this September. played on the Gold Coast. AUG,” says Lockie. actual event happening from September I am writing, of course, of the annual Australian University Sport project “Only about 2,500 students par- 28 to October 3 in Sydney. Australian University Games. manager Mark Lockie says that while ticipate in the Eastern Unigames every When asked for a final word, Lockie Held every year with over 7,000 stu- UniGames is an event to be taken seri- year. Some of the sports use the regional spoke very positively. dents competing in over 30 different ously, students of all skill levels are en- games as an opportunity to give people “The venues will be [of a] fantastic sports, “UniGames” attracts students couraged to try out. who aren’t able to go to the Australian quality, and we try to make sure the com- from all around the country to one city, “The fun and social element is a big games an opportunity to compete for petition is run to the highest standard to face off in a week-long blitz of athleti- part of what students are looking for their university. possible. It’s a well-organised event. cism, toughness and friendly rivalry. when they compete, but certainly the “Regional games are just another “The feedback that we get every year UNSW Touch Football club captain competitive side is quite serious as well,” chance for students to have a go.” from students is that UniGames is one Sophie Connelly believes the UniGames he says. To register for both the Regional and of the best experiences they have while is an experience like no other. “With that number of students, Australian events, students are first re- “UniGames is something I tell every- there’s a wide range of abilities, so we get quired to trial for their desired sport. they’re at university. They get to meet a one to get involved in at uni because it’s international-level athletes competing, For specific trial dates and times for lot of people from their own university, definitely one of the best things you can but there might be some sports where the various sports, Scott Nicholson rec- as well as other universities around Aus- do if you’re playing sport at university,” there are beginners just giving it a go and ommends staying in touch online: “Ba- tralia. There are few other vehicles to do says Connelly. helping out their university.” sically, if people want to get involved, that within university life.” “It’s essentially the University equiva- To get involved, students are encour- they go to unigames.com.au and there’s For more information, visit lent of the Olympics – there are multiple aged to first participate in the Regional an expression of interest form. They just sport.arc.unsw.edu.au/unigames