ELLE BEAUTY REPORT
THE OTHER SOE OFTHEMRROR Incorrigible Botox bum Elizabeth Hayt became curiousto know how her compulsions appeared from where her own Dr. Lookgood,therenowned Fredric Brandt, MO, stood. And so asociologyof cosmetic dermatology was born n a Friday night at 7:30, blond hair shows not a glint of gray, side?Who werethe livingsubjectscrunched 12hoursand 17patients thanks to colorist Kyle White of the Oscar into these numbers? I- a seasoned con since the day began at B1andi Salon. And at 5'11", his frame, sumer, staunch defender, and longtime Dr. Fredric Brandt's nourished by egg-white omelets, pome voluntary lab rat for professional cosmetic Manhattan office, all granate seeds, and Ashtanga yoga, holds interventions-felt it was incumbent on me sevenexarniningrooms at an unvarying 155 pou nds. Between his to flesh out the findings, which is how I were still in full swing. lilting spirit, his spry step, and his utter came to spend two days tailing Dr. Brandt, The lasers were puls fixation on youthful beauty, he is cosmetic a man who, with a loaded syringe and ing, the syringes kept medicine's Peter Pan . needle, would rival Michelangelo, were he coming, and the good Singing, "Squirt, squirt, squirt went not a dead sculptor but a living cosmetic doctor, wearing navy blue Prada stirrup the needle/Plump, plump, plump went the dermatologist. pants, a black Prada belt with a seat-belt lips" to the tune of"TheTrolley Song" from I temporari ly stepped outside my usual size buckle, metallic Gucci sneakers, and Meet Me in St. Louis, Brandt bounded from role as a habitual user of injectables, forever apple green Alain Mikli glasses-a look appointment to appointment. "So what are chasing the intact collagen fibers of youth. part Flash Gordon, part Ziggy Stardust we doing today?" he asked one woman Besides myself, I wondered, what sorts of was full of beans. Only his white Dolce & whose face was slathered with cold, goopy patients-in Brandt's office they're tellingly Gabbana shirttail, half untucked and numbing cream in preparation for what referred to as "clients"-will pay as much as smeared with traces of some emollient, ever teeth-gritting cosmetic procedure was $7,000for a full face of injections, not once, betrayed his blistering pace. to come. "A biseleli of Bo?" Brandt asked, but up to three times a year? (I'm waiting an "Dry cleaning's part of the overhead using the Yiddish word for "a tiny amount" extra month for my next round because, if you want to look like a runway model and shorthand for "Botox." according to my loved ones, my cheeks are at work," Brandt told me cheerily. Preter starting to become bulky-looking.) naturally youthful-looking at 58, he has In 2006, almost 11 million cosmetic pro One thing I knew: Th ese women were an un lined and jowl-less face, cour tesy of cedures were performed in this country, die-hard beauty bums. J ust after 9/11, a self-administered Botox and Restylane ringing up more than $11 billion in fees, mother, 68, and daug hter, 43, who live in injections, liberal use of hydrating and according to the American Society of Michigan but come frequently to New exfoliatingsolution s, and laser treatments PlasticSurgeons. But this data leftme want York for Brandt, couldn't get a flight out. that tone and tighten his skin. His golden ing more : Where was the human-interest Rather than miss their appointments or
ELlE 276 www . e l le .co m [ELLEBEAUTY REPORT reboo k them for a later date, they opte d to laid my gaze as a psycho-socio spectatrix most or corrupt her moral fiber (much). drive some 700 miles to make it-on time, and derm atological taxonomist. In the meantime, Brandt was hard at no less. work, sinking Restylane-jacked needles With Brandt's perm ission as well as his The Middle-aged Virgin into her face while he explained, "It's not clients' (who shall all remain nameless), I wrinkles that make a person look old, it's chronicled the goings-on at his two offices, She was a 53-year-old Uppe r East Sider, a the collapse of the rounded surfaces that between which he divides his time-two senior executive at a financial firm, and a reflect light and lend fulln ess to the upp er weeks in Manhattan, two in Miami-as a first-time pati ent. It was hard to believe, face and cheeks , with a tap ering toward cosmetic-dermatology candy striper. Don not because she looked younge r than her the lower face, like an inverted triangle. ning an unglamorous pair of baggy black age, but because she looked 10 years That's the shape that makes a woman look scrubs-Brandt's staff uniform-I fell in, older-or what 10 years older would look beautiful and younger. In older women , bringi ng up the rear of the conga line of like if 50 were n't the new 40. Dressed in a the lower part of the face gets heavier, "girls," as the nurses call themselves, who Simple white shirt, black pants, an d beat while the upp er part gets hollowed out. followBrandtfrom room to room,arranging up blac k mules and carrying a no-name The Restylan e can reverse that change." In stead of using plain stra ight nee dles, Brandt bend s the tips 30 to 45 degrees. He delivered the fillers at an angle under What's the alternative? Pu ll a the patient's skin, adding volume to the woman's cheeks and chin, distribu ting Greta Garbo/become arecluse the material closer to the sur face in a fan like fashion in order to blend the edges of at 36? Betterto coat all the the filler agents with her new facial con tours. This process made them appear mirrorswithVaseline. natural and gently sloped. By adding derm al fillers on both sides of the woman's nose and around her cheek trays of cotton gauze, sharp medical instru black bag, h e~ brunette hair in desperate bones, the injectionsdid double duty, lifting ments, and latex gloves filled with frozen need of a good cut, she was clearly low and firming up her lax lower face, and pull peas to be used as ice packs for postinjection maintenance. ing up and smoothing the deep nasolabial swelling and bruising. But at a recent NARAL luncheon, she'd folds known by the cloying euphemism Feeling left out, I snatched up a clipboard had an epiphany: All the women in the "marionette lines." When he finished, an as a prop, which doubled as a steno pad for room had looked great, she said, which hour had passed and the red biohazard recording my thoughts and insights. I now made her acutely aware of her sorry state. waste bin was spilling over with empty vials felt part of the team, offering "oohs" and She decided that it was time for a "boost." of Botox and used syringes. "aahs" of encouragement to a client who Her husband was all too gung ho. (Ouch.) "What I would suggest next is to fill in was clenching her fists and curling her toes "I have the face of a gerbil," the woman the outline of your lips," Brandt said, step as she submitted to Brandt's needl ework. announced to Brandt. Despite this brutally ping back for one last look. "But you've "Your lips look so, uh, pillowy," I com honest self-assessment, she was scared to had a lot of needles. Let's leave your mouth plimented her, trying not to wince as death. It wasn't the needles that terrified for another day." Brandt jabbed another dollop of plumper her or that she might look "different," What a gentleman. He knew that any into the tender tissue of her meager mouth, altered but not necessarily better. Her fear virgin , middle-aged or otherwise, needs to prompting tears to spring from her eyes, was altogether more profound: "I wouldn't be broken in slowly, be reassured there will the numbing ointment on her lips about as want to seem narci ssistic, that this is all I be a next time, and have reason to hope for effective as holding a newspaper over your think about," she said. something more that will still be new and head in a downpour. "Take a look," I said Her equivocation clearly stemmed from special.Thus, when the woman stepped into approvingly, holding up a mirror. a misguided Pur itanical Guilt Complex. the elevator, she had a change of heart. "Hoo-dah-hah," she moaned, doing her Given my long history with manufactured Suddenly liberated from her freshly plowed best to say beautiful; but her lips- each now cosmetic enhancement, I wanted to assure und er moral compunctions,she stuck her leg inflated to the size ofSwedish gummy fish herthatimprovingher appea rance wouldn't into the closing doors, popping them back were in no shape to form words. Still, her corrode her beliefthatwhat's inside matters open, and rushed Brandt's receptionist. eyes beamed at her reflection. ~r------'~ A mirror maid, that was me. Rather than Ita.. laser in a bottle" Jurllqu slavishly scrutinizing and obsessing over my • own appearance, I would freely observe IB( laser reliefTH other women doing as I do: embracing an r+. array of cosmetic procedures that, on the one hand, enable ordinary-looking women FEELINGNEEDLY? to achieve a sense that they are noticeably Brandt 's regu lars could school the best pretty, and on the other hand are, to all makeup artists on how to hide every post injection issue. Pat ient s speed bru ise appearances, complicit in a socially sanc healing with Jurlique Arni ca Cream (far tioned form ofself-mutilation. righ t), soot he redness and inflammation with Brandt 's own Laser in a Bottle Laser Here, then, are my field notes docu Relief (above), and finish with a few dabs menting the simultaneously memorable of heavy-du t y Cover Fx Cream Concealer and stereo typic al cha racters on whom I Foundati on SPF 30 (right).
ELLE 280 ww w .e l le .co m "My lips!" she cried out. "They need to gerbil-not the gerbil-faced lady but the proof of Newton's Third Law of Motion be plumped. When's the next available kind in a pet store that runs on a wheel, the bit about every action having an equal appointment?" round and round, going nowhere but never and opposite reaction. Practically speaking, giving up, not until it drops . Brandt's innovation provided an alternative The Work in Progress to, and a way to bide one's time before, going The Chinny-Chin-Chin under the knife. For the past five years, this Upper East Side "Doingthe double-chin thingwith Botox psychologist has maintained monthly Two years ago, when she was only 31, this isgenius," said the woman."It totally works. appointments with Brandt. As we awaited SoHo-dwelling ballet philanthropist nip Basically, it makes my profile cleaner." the doctor, I sized up her fashion sense, ped her crow's-feet in the bud and has Boosted by her compliments, Brandt left which had Barneys written all over it: dark refused to let up, thanks to Botox injections improvising to the tune of "Bye Bye Black Marni skirt, black Miu Miu gold-button from Brandt. While some might think her bird," his voice drifting down the hall: studded belt, black Prada heels, and a cara battle against Father Time is a bit prema "Pack up all that extra skin/ Let's get rid of mel Bottega Veneta bag. ture, and even though statistics indicate that double chin/ Bye bye turkey neck.. .." While her outfit was fab, there was some that most cosmetic procedures are per thing off about her face. It looked ageless, a formed on women over 40, this woman rep The Penitent Cheater tour de force of erasure: no lines, creases, resents his fastest growing market, says crinkles, folds, discolorations, or hollows Brandt, describing the 30- to 39-year-olds Nervous ly jiggling her foot and fiddling nothing to indicate any lived experience. currently flooding his practice . with an iPod, the patient, a 44-year-old This was especially irksome, as I'm "Truthfully, you do see the first signs of woman, was reclining in the examining pretty good at figuring age. I had to stoop to aging in the midthirties," he says. "People chair, waiting for Brandt to appear. asking: forties? Fifties? are realizing they don't have to wait until "Nothing lasts in my lips, maybe because "Sixty-one," she answered. they look really old to do something about I smoke," she said loudly, oddly eliciting no My mouth dropped. How could she be a it. I've had women in their twenties come response from the normally chirpy nurses, mere four years away from a senior-citizen in, and we have to send them away. They who remained suspiciouslymum .What had discount? Was it human growth hormone? ask for Botox to prevent wrinkles!" You this woman done to become a pariah? Cryogenics? Istoodup and walked around, might not get crow's-feet until you're 60 She told me she lived in the Meatpacking peering out the window over East 34th so why botherstartingwhen you don't even District and owned a fashion business. Street, picking up an Us Weekly, all the know where the wrinkles will form? It Judging by her look-unbrushed raven while trying not to make it obvious that I makes more sense, Brandt says, to use sun hair, oxblood nail polish, no makeup, an was angling for a glimpse behind her ears. screen, good skin care, and otherprotective ankle-length washed-denim prairie skirt, "No scars," she said, busting me. "Never measures to keep your skin looking young. brown suede boots, a gray hoodie unzipped had a face-lift. It's all Fred." As for the ballet philanthropist, between to reveal three sheer, layered pastel tanks, "What are we doing?" Brandt asked, her platinum pixie haircut, apple cheeks, and a formidable white-diamond Rolex popping in on cue and pecking her cheek. bright blue eyes-s-which remain crow's jangling, bracelet-like, around her wrist-I Rummaging in her bag, she pulled out a feetless-and perky 5'4" figure, she could suspected her enterprise involved grunge magnifying mirror and showed him a pass for aJunior Miss, were it not for a cruel revivalism, Rodeo Drive-style. teensy depression, no bigger than a pencil vestige of her heredity: her double chin. "I know exactly what you mean about point, on the side of her face. The "fullness," as Brandt tactfully called it, your lips," I said. "I have the same prob She explained that several months ago interrupted the ideal profile: a sharp right lem-but with my entire face. It's overly she brought Brandt a picture of herself in angle betweenjaw and neck. animated, which means the muscles are her twenties so he could see her cheeks. The woman had already made the leap constantly contracting, and that causes the They had long ago deflated, andshe wanted to advanced Botox user, this being the sec fillers and stuff to break down and wear off them back. Little by little, with each visit, ond time that Brandt would be performing too soon. Two months after I get my Botox, he'd been building them up with Perlane . his trademark "Botox Neck Lift" on her-a my forehead looks like it's got guitar strings Was she deranged? What woman in the technique he pioneered a decade ago. tattooed across it all over again." seventh decade of her life wants to look like "Stick your jaw forward. Now twist it all "My problem was I had to have the a cooed? Then again, maybe when I'm her the way to the left and stay like that," he Restylane," she said furtively, cupping her age I'll want chipmunk cheeks too. A squirt instructed her, the contortion causing verti mouth so the nurses couldn't hear her. "It ofjuvederm did the trick on the microdent. cal, ropy-looking muscles running below was an emergency." Next, Brandt injected Sculptra into her the jaw line to the clavicle, known as the What kind of an emergency could call temples because she didn'tlike the indenta platysma muscles, to tense up and jut out. for Restylane? I wondered. I brought my tions. He also used a laser to zap a few Brandt grabbed the tissue between thumb face close to hers to express bonding and broken blood vessels around her nose. and forefinger and pumped it with Botox, a empathy, an interrogation technique I "How about some laser toning?" she process he repeated on the other side. learned from Law & Order. suggested to him . Because these muscles function to pull "I just joined Soho House, and I wanted "You don't need it. Your tone is so good. down the lower face, Brandtfigured out that to look extra good in case I ran into my ex You're a vision!" immobilizing them with the paralyzing there," she explained. "But I couldn't get in "I'm a work in progress," she corrected. agent would allow the opposing muscles in to see Brandt, so I went to myoid dermatol "How will you know when to stop?" I the lowerface (the superficial muscularapo ogist from when I had acne. I let her inject asked. neurotic system, to be exact) to contract, me with Restylane." "There is no stopping," she said. "I come pullingup the corners of the mouth and lift So that's why the nurses were dissing her! to maintain what's been done so I never ing a droopyjaw,neck, and chin . One might She was a traitor. look bad." I couldn't help but think of a say the Botox Neck Lift is dermatologic "The other doctor was cheaper," the
www .elle .co m 2 81 ELL E [ELLEBEAUTY REPORT patientcontinued."She filled in the hollows as a walking neon sign warning all cosmetic there is a female phenotype indigenous to under my eyes.Butitwas bumpy and black dermatologyjunkiesaboutwhatcan happen South Beach, the coastal magnet for the and-blue. I had black eyes for three weeks! when you wingitwith any01' doctor.She was surgically svelte and the breast-implanted. I couldn't go out in public." lucky to have gotten off so easily. Had the She mayor may not be oflegal drinkingage "So what did you do?" I asked. procedure been permanent, every day for or even the age of sexual consent. Her thir "I went to India. I was ugly." the rest of her life, whenever she looked at tieth birthday is in any case a good way off. Self-exiled to another continent? That her reflection, she would always have Observable traits include sun-drenched was a harsh sentence for a crime that, I'm regretted, and could never have forgotten, skin notyet showing the ravages ofher reck ashamed to say, I, too, have committed. that she had been unfaithful to her man. less UVA exposure; long, loose hair, either What to do when the best derm atologists stiff with dry saltwater or shiny, supple, and are booked ? Or your gynecologist has Welcome to Miami a little bit greasy from the Hawai ian Tropic begun giving Botox injections and offers to oil that her beau has massaged into her no-charge you? Situations come up and shit Once one has visited Brandt's office in shoulders; and a figure- from good legs to happens.. .like you cheat. Miam i, it's clear that his New York outpost rounded bottom to narrow waist-sculpted Yes,I havedallied, strayed,slutted around lives up to the city's reputation as one that into shape by nightly salsa dancing. from needle to needle, my infidelity always never sleeps; fast and intense, the scene The particular example presenting her triggered by the first twitch of my frozen seems all work and no play. But in Miami, self to Brandt was 20, Hispanic, and, had it brow, that flicker of a nerve alerting me that the staff-the whole environment, really- been up to me, would have been pad locked from the premises. Certain things should beoutlawed, like meddlingwith the appear Was she deranged? Whatwormn ance of a woman graced with nature's per fection (full-body laser hair removal being In the seventh decade of her life the obvious exception). However, this woman was just like the ~ wantsto look like aco-ed? rest of us: hyper-self-critical and panting to particip ate in the alluring artificial-beauty my face is coming back to life. Like Rush appears to make play out of work. movement. Thus, she had cooked up two Limbaugh running low on Ox ycodone, I During the wait to see Brandt, his staff complaints, the first being her hair, which waste no time scrolling through my mental offers clients "antioxidant water booster," a wasn't as thick as the mop-topsofher closest Rolodex of beauty docs, shopping for one customized green tea served either chilled family.Worse, when she shampooed it, she who hasn't seen me in a while and thuswon't or hot in flavors such as lemon and pome claimed itfell out so copiouslythatitclogged turn me away. granate. All around the office, baskets brim up the shower drain. Suddenly,Brandtswooped into the room. with little black packets for the taking: The other problem was on her hips and "Okay,ladies,what did I miss?" he asked. samples of Brandt's creams, lotions, and upper thighs. Although their contours were "I'm tellingherThe Story," the patientsaid. gels from his skin-care line. And that's not lovely, neither excessively voluptuous nor "Oy, what a shandeh!" he said, using the all: Edible goodies abound, including excessivelyboyish, across the surface ofher Yiddish word for "shame." special low-fat, low-sugar granola squares bronz ed skin a small school of silver min This charmer of a patien t was the last made by the office skin-care analyst, nows appeared to be swimmi ng by: stretch thing from a victim. She had the chutzp ah Germaine Butler, whom Brandt affection marks, the unsightly result of rapid adoles to return to the dermatologist who had ately calls "Lady Germaine." cent weight gain, which as a young adultshe done the botchedjob. She had admitted the With 24 rooms in all, the Miami office is had now lost. However, their visibility had resultswere lessthan fabulousand refunded nearly four times the size of Brandt's Man caused the young woman to sink into a the woman $1,000 because she said she'd hattan outpost; it's an oasis of shiny white depression for which a psychiatrist had pre have to go back to Brandt. surfaces, high-modernist interior design, scribed 30 milligramsof Celexa, an impres The problem was that the doctorinjected and splashy contemporary art. There are sive dosage that neverth eless did little for the Restylane too superficially, leaving pal aestheticians forfacialsand microdermabra her flatlin ing serotonin levels. The worst of pable lumps, Brand t said. So a week earlier, sion; a nurse practitioner who doeslaser hair it was that she felt forever tied to wearing a Brandt had injected the cheater's face with and tattoo removal and operates two new sarong over her bathing suitin order to keep an enzyme called Hyaluronidase, which devices-the Aluma, a radio-frequency ma her stretch marks und er wraps. successfully dissolved the lumps, and now chine that is supposed to quickly and pain Brandt was unusually subdued. I won she was back for a Restylane redo. Wearing lessly tighten the skin, and the Isolaz laser, dered whether we were sharing the same aqua-colored medical magnifying goggles which vacuum-cleans clogged pores; and thought: Was this patient nitpicking for over his green Miklis, Brandt peered lastly, Lady Germaine, who-charged with flaws to gain sympathy and comfort? Her intently through both sets of lenses at the the Visia Complexion Analysis System, hair looked as good as a Garnier Nutrisse crescent hollows und er her eyes. which uses computer-generated photo ad. And her stretch marks?Oh , come on. "Syringe, please," he said, and began graphs to measure a patient'sfacial wrinkles, Then again, maybe Brandt was experi methodically reintroducing the filler, insert pore size,skin texture, and sun damage rela encing a rare feeling of failure. Ninety-nine ing the needle under the patient's skin, push tive to others in her age group-maps out times out of 100, he can wave his magic ing the plunger ever so slightly, the droplets personalized skin-care regimens based on wand of needles and work miracles. But released making her beautifulagain. productsfrom Brandt's line. here, all he could do was silently run his "I wish this was perm anent," the patient hands through her dark tresses, pulling out said, sighing, after I gave her the mirror. Barely Legal no hanks and clumps but only a few silky Hadn't she learned her lesson? I asked threads. Did I detect a whiff of boredom on myselfin disbelief.This patient should serve Among Brandt's sunshine-state clientele, his part? His sole recomm endation to the
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And while you're Her daughter, 34, laughed. She had for hair loss, and a blood test to rule out using it, you can't go in the sun. It makes accompan ied her mother on the three thyroi d problems (the result: negative). your skin more sensitive to sun damage." hour drive from their Fort Myers home . The mother had been a patient of Brand t's for the past four years, but today would Just before my thirty-sixth mark her daughter's entree to his Never b i r t h d a ~ land of needles. Iqot an eyelift "She's the virgin one who's never been done," the mother said, thumbing at her paid for by Mom. . daughter.Though she was still baby-faced ------'------and could easily wait another five years, it As for the minn ows in her skin, the "But I go to the beach every day," she was wise of her mother to encourage an only way to beat them back would be said, her eyes now welling up. "That's my early start. Th at way, they could shore up the old-school way: a prescripti on for life. That's why I came here. So you could the memories of who had which injec Renova, a Vitamin A comp ound cream get rid of my stretch marks and I could tions and pick apart the pupu platter of re to increase collagen and improve skin finally look good in a bikini." juvenating possibilities- the kind of girl text ure. As if she didn't already. talk that makes an al fresco lunch at the "No lasers?" the patient asked, sound Lincoln Road Mall taste even better. ing completely crestfallen. Mother Botox My mother had been good to me that "They won't work on dark skin," Brandt way.Just before my thirty-sixth birthday, I said sorrowfully. "My favorite is when you do my ears," the got an eyelift by plastic surgeon David "What about those miso injections that 59-year-old patient said, blissfully Hidalgo, paid for by Mom. In fact, she I keep hearing about?" relaxing in the examining chair, her sil practically gave me the leg up onto the "Mesotherapy? It's supposed to treat ver Tory Burch sandals gleaming. operating table, insisting I tough it cellulite, but there aren't any clinical stud "They're nice and chubby now,"Brandt out and go ahead with dermabrasion, a ies to prove its efficacy, so I'm not behind reassure d the woman, injectingRestylane procedure to sand off of the feathery lip it. I'm sorry," he added, the weight of an into her earlobes, which, after a lifetime stick lines around my mouth, which anticli mactic appointment pressing down of heavy, dangly earrings, had become as Hidalgo had recommended. I was on everyone in the room. "But the Reno flaccid as an elephant's. scared because my mother had had it done va will help," Brandtsaid, brightening up. "That's the only place I like chubby," during one of her face-lifts, and I had "It'll take anywhere from three months to she said. watched how agonizing and disgusting (cONT INUJ<: U O N page 360 ) ww w . ell e.com 283 EllE [fill------THE OTHER SI DE OF THE MIRROR all the action I was witnessing. ARMY BRAT C O" T ' ''U E II F RO .\I p age 283 Then, at Brandt's Miami office, I gree dily C ONT I N UE n f"RO~ 1 page 3 1 1 the oozing and crusting ofthe recovery had been acce pted Lad y Germa ine's offer to analyze decorated general'arrives for a visit and many, for her. But still, she said I'd regret it if! didn't do my complexio n. The results confir med that many boots sudden ly go thumpi ng in his direc it. Th e lines would only worsen. I wouldn't want my face was almost wrinkl e-free (the needl es, tion, she rolls her eyes at this "rock-star-iris." to go back for another surgery. So, before going the lasers, the peels, the creams-all working! More often, though, McFate sincerely tells me under anesthesia, I abided the echo of her last Yippee!), but the UV damage beneath the how much she respects the politeness and com words: "Get it over with, Daughter!" sur face (otherwise known as the biological petency service breeds."These guys are sodedi "There mustbedrugsin the cookies,"Brandt 's half-life of adolescent sunbath ing with an cated, so smart, and they try so hard. They're chubby-lobed patient said. "I keep coming back alumi num-wrapped album cover during the Americans, you know?To be an American isto here. Youjust want more." '70s) was so severe that I wanted to chec k my believe in some fairly simple yet difficult-to-at But there was little else Brandt could do, since self into a crypt. Permanentl y. tain virtues: freedom, fairness, patriotism, ren her previous visit only a few months earlier had The Visia results left me with no choice: On dering assistance when it's required. You may involved a major renovation, from scalp to neck my way home, the minute the airplane began think they're deluded, but more than anything, line, requiring so many syring es that the total its descent into LaGuardia I flipp ed open my theseguyswantto win, and they knowyou'renot cost could have bought a car, she said (well, cell phone, shruggi ng off a flight attenda nt going to win with a bullet- you're going to win maybejust a used one). And judging by her face, who furiously tapp ed at my shoulder, insisting with a kiss.They're trying so hard to learn a new which looked round, smooth, and 10 years that I was interfering with the navigation sys way to fightin the middle ofa war." younger than her age, she'd gotten her money's tem. How could thatmatter, now that I knew of worth. the latent wrinkling I was facing? These days, nothing provokes McFate's own "Look again!" she insisted. "Should I add Becau se Brandt wasn't due in town for pugnaciousness like anthro pologists who think more to my lips?" another two weeks-a duration seemingly so her angel-on-the-shoulder, "win with a kiss" "No!" Brandt, the daughter, and I cried out in interminable that the mere thought ofit caused rhetoric is nonsense- and that cozying up with unison. me to hyperv entil ate in a brown paper lun ch the military is her own weird way ofworkingout "Ca n you lift up my brow?" the mother bag-I once again yielded to my inn er Hester issues with her bohemian upbringing."I've been asked. Prynne and made an appointment with accused of prostituting the science. I've been ac "I've already done that," Brandt said. anoth er derm atologi st, my longtime friend cused of being in this for the money. I've been "Shoot me some more," she begged. "How David Colbert, MD . The tim e had come for accused ofbeing unethical. I've been accused of could you be finished so soon?" Fraxel laser treatm ent s, the last hop e for the being stupid. I've been accused ofbeing fat- all Brandt didn't answer. Defeated, the mother hop elessly sun-damaged, or so I've been told kind s of things ," McFate says, her normally low offered up her daughter. and, mor e importantl y, want to believe. key patter sharpe ning. It's true that these charg Th e fact that the mother had confessed to Because really, to believe, no matter how es have all been made on Savage Minds and jonesing for still more sticks mad e me question blindly, is the fund am ent al trait ofthe cosmet other blogs where anthro pologists go to blow her motives. Perhap s they were less pure than I ic derm atologyclient: She believes that look steam-with, yes, sometimes surp rising savage had thought. Maybe the psychodynamic I was ing younger will make her feel better about ry-and that the American AnthropologicalAs witnessing was that of a moth er looking for a herself; tha t her boosted self-confidence, plus sociation has issued a statement disapproving of Dina Lohan-like vicarious thrill. the luster of her cosmece utically infu sed skin, the Human TerrainTeams (HTT). "Show him the crease," the mother said. will susta in her sexu al desirability; that lip But it's also true that McFate has a knack for Th e daughter pointed to a small horizontal plumpers aren't just an antidote to shriveling inflamingthe debate she sitsatop, givingasgood line under her left eye. up in old age but an affirma tion of life and a as she gets.With bile that Rush Limbaugh would "It's a sleep line," was Brandt's diagnosis. subco nscious (okay, maybe not so sub) denial admire,she chargesthat these "Ivory Toweraca "Botox won't work. Ifyou fill in a fine line with of death, especially when a bright lipstick is demics" are unduly "concerned with keeping collagen, it'll only last a few months . It's not applied . their hands clean," that they're just trying to worth it." Of course, the "she" I'm speaking of is me. claim "a political and moral higherground."De "How about her bunny lines?" the mother But when I held up the looking glass to the fendingher choice to work with armed forcesto pressed on.She was pushing hard now,referring women in Dr. Brandt's office, their reflections The WallStreetjournallast summer, she suggest to the barely visible diagonal wrinkl es at the top (no matter the postprocedural bleeding, bruis ed that her brand of in-the-system activism was of her daughter's nose that came from squinting ing, and swelling) bor e an unmistakably better than "waving a big sign outside the Penta in the sun. beatific expression. gon saying 'You suck.'" At the anthropological "No one sees them but you," Brandtsays. Th at said , I've got to tell you a truth you group's2006 meeting, after George Mason Uni "She definitely needs her lls injected," the might not want to hear:All this talk about versity professor Hugh Gusterson disparaged mother said stiffly. "maintenance" is pure dissimulation. Hone st McFate in a talk, she reportedly approached Brandt took a look at the daughter's "l is," the ly, I have never reached a point where my pur him and whispered in his ear, "Hugh, I know two para llel lines between her eyebrows that suit of beingbright-eyed and pink-che eked has why you're so cruel to me. It's because you want came from frownin g. leveled off. No matter what I do to myself, or me."(Though this story has "spread like wildfire "Those I can inject," he conceded. how much I have don e, the five or 10years that in the community," one anthropologist told me, With that, the mother catapulted herself from a dermatologist initi ally succeeds in sloughing McFate insists she merely said, "You musthavea the examining chair, grabbed two fistfuls of offwill come back in proportion to my increas crush on me, Hugh, ifyou're thismean to me,") gauze pads from the counter, and , waving them ing age. The climb ju st keeps getting steeper, Anthropology, as McFate wellknows,isa dis like a pair of porn poms, cheered, the comeliness harder to reach. cipline struggling with its own identity. As fund "B-O -T-O-X! Go,Botox!Go!" But what's the altern ative? To pull a Greta ing for long-term study of indigenous cultures Garbo, becoming a recluse at 36, leaving the dwindles, anthropologists are increasingly tak Th e Prim al Scene world an illusion of eternal pulchritud e but ing their research skills to corporations, founda never getting out of your pj's? Better to coat all tions, and government, where they're largely Being a terminal narcissist, I could only re the mirrors in the house with Vaseline and free (unlike doctors and lawyers, who need li main behind the mirror for so long. After a cover the lightbulbs, Blanche DuB ois- style, censes to ply their trades)to operate bywhatever whole morning of watching Brandt's Manhat with paper lant erns (pink ones are the most ethical codes they choose. Even academic an tan pati ent s getting poked and plumped, stuck flattering, should you need to know). thropologists realize that in this Internet age and smoo thed, I was wracked with envy. So, I refuse to buy into growing old gracefully, there'ssomethingpoignantlyantiqueabouttheir du ring my lunch, I raced upstairs to dermatol whether in hidin g or in plain sight. My moth er desire to control how their scholarship isapplied. ogist Roy Ge ronemus (he's in the same build is my inspiration : At 71,she has pledged to stick So it'stemptingto write offtheir objectionsasthe ing as Brandt) and had him laser away all the with Brandt until the day she needs a walker embittered gnashing of"a moribund discipline" broke n capillaries on my face. Brandt was too and is too frail to man euver it thr ough his office that, in fact, has a long history of engagement boo ked to zap me-besides, I was supp osed to door. As her daughter, I am adding a codicil to with the militar y, as McFate says. (Anthropolo be "wor king for" him! It just wouldn't have my living will: Skip the DNR and send me out, gy's embarrassing nickname- "the handm aid bee n professional. Still, I ju st had to get in on instead, on a final Botox bender. • en of coloniali sm"-springs from the British ELLE 360 www .elle .com government'spractice,startingin the early twen Afghan rugs ; and a select few artifacts from her little ofoneself. It's that old saw: 'Ifyou can' t take tieth century, of using ethnographic research to past, includ ing a gorgeous, glowing red glass the heat, don't stand in the kitchen.'" stabilize occupied African colonies.) One irate ship's lamp from the boat on which she grew Th e next morning, I meet McFate for coffee anthropologist floats the perfectly unprovable up-we finally begin. McFate tells me the deci at Starbucks and-perh aps after a good night's theory that the Pentagon positions McFate as a sion to put scholars in uniform was made out of sleep-she seems lessdefensive and more reflec badgirl to give thatsquare (okay,pentagonal)in concern for their safety. (Since Western civilians tive. When I ask what really explains her mili stitution fresh streetcredto counteracute war fa have become high-value targets for insurge nts, tary calling, she pau ses. "I guess in some ways it tigue. Others tell me, with audible sniffs, that the un iforms are "discouragement to the snip wasmy father'shavinglost hismindafter the Ko anthropologists who join human terrain teams er.") Sure, she shrugs, the military garb might rean War," she says, for the first time seeming aren't smart enough to hack it in academia, or compel people to speak to her teams, but she in willingto earne stlygrapple with her family'sleg they'rejustdoingitformoney(which at$lOO,OOO sists that by this time Iraqi s and Afghans are so acy. His death, she says, prodded her to want to a year is quite good, especially compared accustomed to the military that they can distin reduce "the deep personal consequences" for with the measly sums beginning professors gui sh who wants to sit and chat from who has "individuals in extreme situatio ns that involve command). deadli er busin ess in mind. violence." Marrying a soldier was another push Yet some concerns anthropologists raise Maybe so. As for the risk that the academics factor, she says."In the best relationships, you in about McFate-about the risks her program might actually get ordinary people killed , Me corporate the experiences ofpeople you love." poses for civilians in war zones and for the field's Fate denied "vehemently" to The New York McFate also says something that may explain reputationas a whole-dogive one pause. Cath Timesthat her teams contribute to intelligence why she's so quick to draw bright lines around erine Lutz, a Brown University anthropology gathering-tagginginsurgents for elimination, who's with her and who's aga inst her. "My father professor who helped start a petition against that is. She ha s also told me repeat edly that one died when I was very young. My mom was an projects like McFate's, says it's "very seductive" U.S. commander in Afghanistan says the HTT iconoclastic artist," she says. Th ere ispride in her to want to serve the humanitarian aspects of embedded in his unit last spring (there are now voice when she talks of the person her mother counterinsurgency: to listen to the Iraqis' hearts nin e in Iraq and two in Afghanistan) helped re was, yet "she was disengaged ," McFate says, un and minds, to help armed forces deliver school duce combat operations by 60 percent, with doubtedly putting it kindl y. And so, she contin supplies and vaccinations. But those who buy milit ar y and civilian deaths dropping corres ues, "I think it's very imp ort ant that the peo ple that by bringing scholars into the war we're pondingly. To me, however, she admits that you love stand with you rather than outside. somehow "fighting smarter" are "extremely control is not perfect. Yes, the data her teams What really matters is that the people you re nearsighted," she says. That's because, in her collect go "into the intelligence lan e, the logis spect and love respect and admire you-that opinion, the Bush administration's real reason tics lane," she says, with rising irr itation, but matters much more than public approbation." for invading Iraqwas to secure long-term access that's better than the alternative. "Ifyou're sit McFate tells me her greatest hope for teach to the country's oil; the professed interest in ex ting in your little office, at your little un iversity, ing soldiers to study culture now is that one day, ploring the souls of the people isjusta "PR line" whatopportunity do you have to influence how when they're military leaders- and,who knows , to pretty up the picture for an enduring occupa the brigade does business? Absolutely none!. .. maybe even defense secretaries-they'll "fully tion, she says. "There is no evidence [the human Not that I'm advocating taking over countries, comprehend" the costs of going to war before terrain program] does anything but prolong the but that's the situation we find ourse lves in now, they plunge in. "If they don't, that's a failure of war, and to the extent that it prolongs the war and to pretendotherwise is to hide your head under the American political and executive system ," even a day, itcreates more deaths." a blanketand say,'Naanananana.''' she says, though she copsto the "sad fact" that we Another petition author, David Price, an Ifan anthropologist discovers that someone often haven't learned from history: "These mis associate professor of anthropology at Saint is, say, working with the Taliban planting road takes have been made by the U.S. again and Martin'sUniversity in Washington, has written side bombs, he or she will work with soldiers to again and again." extensively about the history of anthropolo see if the insurgent can be persuaded to come Wheth er the Human Terrain System will gists' engagement with the military, for better over to the other side: "Why is this person a succeed in the near term depend s on man y and worse. He tells me that HTT members member of the Taliban? Are they ideologically things- includingAmerican s' will for commit wearing uniforms-and carrying guns if the y committed ?" McFate says, ticking off the kinds ting troops to the painstaking work of counter choose- inevitably create a coercive dynamic of questions her people will explore. "Are they insurgency (10 so many years after "M ission in which ordinary Iraqis and Afghans will feel doing it because their family is threatened ? Do Acco mplished" ), as well as how closely our pressured to speak. Anthropologists also know they need the money?" Commanders are in lead ers decid e to heed the message of people from previous experience that cultural knowl creasingly willing to consider optionsotherthan who, in Iraq at least, are telling poll sters they edgeis not always used benignly in battle, most elimination because they now appreciate that want us out. Skepti cs in the DoD also need to egregiously during the Vietnam War, when when the military offs one guy, it's likely to trig continue to be conv inced that the "culture and U.S . Special Forces employed social science ger a chain of killings-onboth sides. nuance" corps is worth its price (to da te, it has research to identify and assassinate suspected As we run through the battery of charges lev cost American taxpayers close to $60 mill ion), VietCongsympathizers. Fast-forward46 years, eled at her (Price, for instance, has accused Me and, of course, McFate will need to keep dr aw and Price says that while HTTs are supposedly Fate ofplagiarizingportionsofher chapterin the ing on her diplomatic skills, not to mention her all about the "soft," nation-building aspects of counterinsurgency manu al; but she included charm. Because if any anthro-embe ds come counterinsurgency, there is always the danger footnot es-itwas her editors who decided to cut forth to describe moral dilemmas they couldn't that their information can cross over to the them), McFatesinks down in her seat. "I'm tired stomach,you can bet her opponents will sprea d "hard" side of the effort. To wit, anthropologists ofit. I'm tryingto be honest, and I'm trying to be the bad news far and wide. could end up helping the military figure out fair.Butit'sveryalarmingto suddenly find you're Partofme wishes I could come at this thorny who's againstus-atworst, help soldiers "delin a public figure, andpeople expect you should do deb ate from the side, tack le it, and take itapart to eate who should be a target." this and that," she says, looking genuinely wh clarify absolutely where the clearest voices of upp ed. After McFate says she's finished for the conscience lie. But I can't, and I'm not sure When I meet with McFate in DC in early De day, I speak with Sean, who's taking a break anybody can just yet. As J ay Cohen notes, cember, she'sjustback from SouthAfrica,where from writing in his office. A brawny, thoughtful "Montgomery at this point in her life is an ap Sean was delivering a paperat a securit y confer guy, he takes up where his wife left off.The an plied pragmatist, as opposed to a theoretical ide ence, and she's stilljet-lagged. She takes me to a thropologists' uproar over the HTTs is "a proxy alist.There isno right or wro ng.These are shades restaurant near her apartment in Adams Mor for their antiwar sentiments," he says, "which, of gray, and there are roles for all these different gan where transvestites suddenly bust out of the ironically, [Mitzy and I]share." attitudes." back room for a long, loud floor show.She forgot The real issue is that for all her subtlety of What does seem indisputable, however, is all about this Sunday brunch spectacular, she mind, McFate can't seem to grasp that anybody that the passions und erlying McFate's, her al says with a Cheshire smile. Could she have cho could fail to see the wisdom ofembeddingschol lies', and her oppone nts' arguments all stem sen this discombobulating spot because I told ars with soldiers. If her at times bitter incredu from essentially the same place: a deep, collec her up front that I had some tough questions? lousnesstoward her opponents weren'tso deeply tive well of shame over the havoc we wreaked Nah, not Mitzy. felt, it might, in fact, seem disingenuous. "In going to war as hub rislically unprepared as we Back at her apartment-a series of elegant Washington," saysJ acki Lyden, "for every posi were. Since then , many ofus have been too com rooms decorated with antiques; Persian and tion, there's an opposite. One has to hold back a placent, confused, or frightened to voice our www .e l le .c o m 361 El LE