TAKJ3ITLmAMAN:
THE SILENCING OF MEN'S EXPERIENCES OF
SEXUAL ABUSE DURING CHILDHOOD
Kathleen M. Burke
B .A. Indiana University, 1986
M.A. Indiana University, 1992
A THEBIS SUBMJTTED IN PARm FULFILLRIEN'F OF THE REQUIIREMENTS FOR Tl33 DEGREE OF DOCTOR OF PEIILOSOPHY
in the
School of Criminology
O Kathleen M. Burke 1998 SIMON FRASER UNIVERSITY October 1998
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It is only within the last five years that the child sexual abuse literature has begun to specifically examine how males experience this type of victimization. This literature has been influential in highlighting the unique needs of zdult male survivors of childhood and adolescent molestation: in particular, the role that gender plays in keeping males silent about their experiences of abuse. However, the theoretical and practical utility of this research is limited by its reliance upon and reinforcement of a singular, static, and acontextual view of masculinity to which males uniformly conform. The male child sexual abuse literature provides no sense of the complex, contradictory, and socially constructed process of gender, nor the context within which males construct and reconstruct their masculine identities and practices prior and in response to the abuse. This study, then, examines how current constructions of hegemonic masculinity affect how males name, disclose, and cope with sexual victimization during childhood and adolescence.
The research findings are based on in-depth interviews with 17 adult male survivors of child sexual abuse and seven counselling professionals who work withthis population. Their experiences and insights centred aroundthe contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure, and survival. Each of these contexts provided a window of opportunity through which to examine the interrelationship between gender and victirnization in the lives of males. The overarching
iii -- . . - -- - - framework of feminisms and the critical masculinities literature - infcrmed the gendered analysis of the menrs suppression, expression, and perseverance, Overall, this study found that male survivors understandings of what it means to be a man contoured their experiences of themselves , the abuse, and the relationship between the two . Socially encouraged and maintained gender expectations fuelled their silence, difficulties with disclosure, and strategies for moving on and beyond the effects of the abuse. Moreover, this research underscores that male survivors are not a homogeneous group. Although they share the experience of having been sexually abused in their youth, they diverge in how they manage their masculinity in response to the victimization. Acknowledgements
Experience has taught me that no project is accompli shed^ in isolation. Words and images and the labour of stringing them together are informed and sustained by the actions of an intricate web of support. It is here then, that 1 wish to acknowledge those who gave of their time and energy in the realization of this dissertation. This work could not have progressed beyond my own musings had
it not been for the courage of 17 men to emerge from the shadows with their stories of abuse. It is their gift of trust in me to relay their accounts that prodded me along on some dark days and long nights. This thesis haç also been dependent upon the assistance of severalcounselling professionals who impartedtheir understandings of male child sema1 abuse and infoxmed their clientele of male survivors about this research. In particular, 1 would like to thank Don Wright of the British Columbia Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse. Don's faith in my abilities as a researcher and his unfaltering cornmitment to raising awareness of the plight of male survivors were essential. Reflecting on the process of formulating, researching, and writing this dissertation, I am reminded of the signif icance of and my indebtedness to my supervisory cornmittee. In the capacity of senior supervisor, Dr. Karlene Faithts astute advice, care, and encouragement have been invaluable throughout my tenure in the Ph.D. program. Emphasizing the importance of critique, context, v and conscience, her gentle and consistent guidance nurtured my academic growth and bolstered my fortitude when my reserves were low. My heartfelt appreciation to Karlene for the many gifts that
she brought to my work. 1 also wish to recognize the extensive support of Dr. Rbbert Menzies -- ranging from helping me initially navigate the men and masculinity literatures to the careful and critical eye with which he considered my work. This thesis and my other academic endeavours have significantly benefitted from his
counsel and insight. Finally, 1 am so grateful for the judicious input and unwavering assistance afforded by Dr. Margaret Jackson.
I so appreciate Margaretfs open door and listening ear.
1 would also like to extend my gratitude to Dr- Brian Burtch- Since becoming aware of our joint interests in the masculinities and crime literature in the fa11 of 1993, Brian has helped me stay abreast of relevant books, articles, and conferences. Moreover, 1 am thankful for his interest in this research and initiative in sharing it with others. This work has also benefitted from the countless amount of
feedback, advice, and motivation 1 received from colleagues, friends, and family. Thank you Marie Abdelmalik, Dr. Susan Boyd, Elizabeth and Patrick Burke, Barbara Burke Fondren, Dr. Jayne Seagrave, and Dr. Evelyn Zellerer for responding to my calls, entertaining vague queries and very rough drafts, and asking tough questions. Beyond the "nuts and bolts" of writing this thesis, nary a word would have been written on numerous days without the .- -- - L - - assistance of Marg Wahl in tending to my daughter McKenna. but oh so importantly, 1 acknowledge the importance To my two-year-old daughter , McKenna , who daily reminds me to be open to life and of the pleasure of smiling, singing, and simply being. To my partner, Elizabeth, who has navigated me and this thesis over the last four years. With little cornplaint she has endured my Sour moods, long days and nights shut in with the cornputer, incessant ramblings about abstract concepts, and ambiguous responses to when 1 think 1 might be finished. Her gifts of patience, encouragement, and serenity, amidst my restlessness, were integral to this project coming full circle.
vii TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter One
Introduction...... ,...,...... 1
Def ining and exploring male child sexual abuse...... 3
Chapter Two - Theorizing Men and Masculinities...... , .,.... 10 Masculinity and Men in Crisis ...... 10 Accounting for Difference: Theorizing Masculinities. 19 Men Against Sexism: The Radical Edge of the Men's Movement.~...... ,~...... 23 Embodying Resistance: Gay Men and Masculinity ...... 28 Exposing the Layers: Hegemonic and Subordinate Masculinities ...... 32
Chapter Three - Researching Male Child Sexual Abuse.-,., ...... 40 Accounting for the "Male" in Child Sexual Abuse. . . . . 46 Atternpts to Profile Victimized Boys ...... ,...... 53 Theorizing the Abuse of Boys ...... 59
viii . . Filling the Gaps: Critically Engendering the Abuse of Males ......
Chapter Four .Researching Gender and Abuse in the Lives of Males...... The influence of critical and feminist methodologies Surviving sexual abuse in Southwestern B .C ...... The researchpxocess ...... Ethical considerations ...... Research limitations ...... Summary ......
Chapter Five .Biographical Portraits: The Men and their Experiences of muse ...... 99 Sample demographics: Male survivors ...... 99 Sample demographics: Service providers ...... 106 Summary ...... 108
Chapter Six .Coping in a Gendered World: Masculinity and Victimization ...... 111 The context of abuse ...... 111 The context of silence ...... 121 The context of dislosure ...... 136 The context of survival ...... 145
Chapter Seven .Doing Gender in the Contexts of Victimization and~urvival...... 163 Characterizing the abuse and the abuser ...... 163 Setting the stage: ~ultivatingmanhood ...... 166 Damage control: Doing gender in the . Sharing the secret: Precursors and reactions to disclosure...... Male survivors : On being men and moving on ...... -. Recommendations for future research ...... Conclusion. .
Appendix A .Interview
Appendix B O Participant Profiles ...... 216
References ...... 220 -- - ~istof Tables
Male survivor demographic characteristics,,.. . ,..102- Cross-tabulation of number of incidents by number of ab~sers...... ~.lO4 sex number abusers. .. . ,105 between participant and - -- Chapter One Introduction
The 1990s have witnessed a surge in awareness regarding the sexual abuse of boys in Canada. Fuelled by the CBC airing of IfThe
Boys of St. Vincenttsin 1993, the plight of sexually abused males has hesitantly stepped out of the shadows. The print and visual media have been instrumental in chronicling the molestation of boys by Catholic and Anglican priests and Christian Brothers in residential and training schools across Canada. More recently, the institution of Canadian hockey has been dealt a major blow with NXL player Sheldon Kennedy's disclosure that he had been sexually abused over a period of five years by his junior hockey coach. Subsequent revelations by other players and a large-scale investigation into the sexual assault of boys by three Maple Leaf Gardens employees have also been granted column space and air time. The sexual abuse of males, however, is not restricted to what is portrayed in the media. Who are the boys/men whose stories are not aired? and what issues do male survivors of childhood sexual abuse face before and after their accounts becorne public?
It is only since the late 1980s that the child sexual abuse literature has begun to specifically examine how males experience this type of victimization. Although earlier studies recognized that boys were not immune to molestation, such occurrences were frequently deemed rare or less traumatizing relative to the abuse of girls. Furthemore, endeavours to explain the ------.. - underrepresentation of males tended not to go beyond speculating that the -1ow rates for boys could be due to l'the homosexual character of most abuse of boyst1 (Finkelhor and Baron, 1986: 46) . In contrast, more recent scholarship (Hunter, 1990; Lew, 1990; Mendel, 1995) has attempted to explore malesr experiences of sexual victimization from their perspectives as gendered beings. Since 1990, personal accounts of men's experiences of child sema1 abuse have begun to filter into academic inquiries and popular literature, These narratives have been essential in illuminating the difficulty males have in validating and coping with their experiences of abuse as masculine beings. In
particular, the male child sema1 abuse literature emphasizes that associations of masculinity with self-reliance, stoicism and strength, among other characteristics, serve to silence boys and men who have been sexually molested. However, this literature is limited in that it tends to rely on the notion of a unitary masculine role which uniformly affects male experiences of abuse. It offers little insight into how men resist and reconstruct what it means to be "menIf as they corne to identify and cope with their victimization. By examining the contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure and çurvival, this study highlights the role of gender expectations, identities and practices in obfuscating, downplaying and ignoring the sexual abuse of boys. In this study, the critical masculinities literature is used as a lens through which to examine male survivorsr experiences. This work is central to the analysis in that it recognizes that -- - - dominant representations of rnasculinity are socially (re)created and maintained -- they are I1embedded in religious doctrine and practice, mass media content, wage structures, the design of housing, welfare/taxation policies and so forth" (Connell,
1987:184). Moreover, this body of literature highlights that gender is variously constructed between men and over the course of an individual man's life. Scholarship in this area contextualizes masculinity, situating gender construction in a social setting where heterosexuality and categorical distinctions between men and women are nomialized. The masculinities literature, then, allows this thesis to move beyond descriptive accounts of male child semial abuse in order to generate new understandings of how prescribed gender roles affect the way men suppress, name and disclose their experiences of abuse. Drawing on the critical writings on men and masculinities, and the insights of ferninists in the area of child sema1 abuse, this thesis examines not only how social constructions of masculinity shape the way males define instances of sexual molestation during childhood and adolescence, but also howthis type of abuse affects the victimized boy's sense of and ability to accomplish masculinity .
Defining and ~xploringthe Gexual Abuse of Males
Where a good deal of the child sexual abuse research restricts its analyses to only those perçons who have experienced specific types of victimization, this dissertation explores the gendered process of managing victimization among males who self-identify as survivors of childhood molestation. In this project, I am more concerned with the male survivors perceptions of their experiences as harmful or abusive, than whether or not their incidents coincide with my own definition of abuse. This approach to studying victimization, then, incorporates not only overt sexual acts, but also sexualized verbal and visual messages that the participants found to be abusive or harmful. The term ttsurvivorttis employed here to characterize someone who continues to live after being victimized (ie. was not killed during the assault and did not commit suicide as a result of the abuse). The use of llsurvivorllis also an attempt to highlight a person's potential for change, resistance, and coping instead of solely focusing on the static, passive, and helpless qualities associated with the word tlvictim.u It is important to recognize, however, that survivor is a transitional term - "a temporary state, one that will be replaced by something bettertf(Lew, 1990:7). This dissertation is organized around the concept of hegemonic masculinity: historically specific andidealized representations of masculinity that achieve dominance through a series of ideological, social, political, and economic transformations (Connelf, 1987,
1995). It is presently signified by its heterosexuality and exaggerated difference from femininity. Hegemonic masculinity is further delineated by the hierarchical relations of power it cames out among men. The significance of this concept for this research, - then, lies in its ability to theorize the marginalization of sexually victirnized males. The pivotal this dissertation examine how hegemonic constructions of masculinity shape the ways males experience, suppress, disclose, and cope with sexual abuse in childhood and adolescence. This question grounds the interviews and segments male survivors accounts into gender-informative contexts for the purpose of analysis. Branching off this primary focus are several secondary probes for the purpose of gathering more context-specific and detailed information. First, to gain insight into factors which shaped the male survivorsr understandings of abuse, I sought information regarding what and how notions of manhood were communicated and reinforced in childhood. Second, male survivorsf views about the factors which contributed to and reinforced their concealment of the molestation are solicited. Third, 1 examine incidents which encouraged disclosure and the contexts of disclosure. Finally, I am interested in how male survivorsr currently cope with the memories and consequences of abuse and their opinions on how their needs could have been better met.
Supplementary insights from counselling professionals offer further information on the issues faced by male survivors of child sexual abuse and the extent to and adequacy with which their needs are publicly addressed. Therapistsf points of view afford important information regarding the perceptions of service providers and comparative data to reflect on the knowledge provided - .. - by male survivors. This dissertation investigates the dialectical relationship between gender and victimization. Not only does it highlight the consequences that gender has for how males perceive and respond to
child sexual abuse, but also the effects that victimization have on masculine identity and practice. By concentrating on how masculinity is variously construed, constructed, and contested in the contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure, and survival, I aimto demonstrate that coping with abuse is not a straightforward, homogenous process among males. Rather, male survivors as men continually and variously negotiate gender as they struggle to make sense of and corne to terms with having been molested in childhood.
Research Aims
On an immediate level, this research aims to further explicate the realities of male child sexual abuse. In particular, the thesis is designed to identify how hegemonic constructions of masculinity affect the way males experience sexual abuse in childhood and how this victimization, in turn, affects their gender identities and practices. This analysis of victimization as a process is significant given the tendency in much of the child sexual abuse literature to portray abuse and survival as static and isolated events. Second, I anticipate that the findings of this study will
provide a touchstone for other male survivors, a resource these men can use to affirm their collective experiences. Third, by highlighting men's experiences of disclosure and search for professional assistance, and their resulting fulfilments
and frustrations, it is expected that these findings will aid policy makers and service providers by identifying the needs of this population. Finally, this research is not about whether men or women are more abused, more affected by the abuse, or more in need of services; rather, it is a recognition of men as survivors of child semial abuse and the rights of al1 survivors ta be free from this type of molestation. It is about highlighting, among other things, that both men and women lose in a society that is based on the presumption of homogeneitywithin sex-specific gendered categories, namely wornen's passivity and submission and men's aggression and domination. A hegemonic construction of masculinity predicated on heterosexuality, male aggression, sexual prowess and difference from women, then, becomes an effective tool to deny, minimize, and mask the semal abuse of boys.
Organization of the Thesis
Chapter Two of this thesis examines the masculinity literature. After an initial overview of some of the salient perspectives theorizing men, this section launches into a more detailed exploration of the work on critical masculinities. Moving from static, unidimensional views of gender to dynamic and - + -A - - -- - multidimensionalunderstandings, criticalwritings on masculinities highlight-the interrelationship between gender, sexuality, power, and the state. Chapter Two not only provides the lens through
which male child sexual abuse is viewed, but it also lays the groundwork for the analytical direction of this research pro j ect . Chapter Three addresses the emergence of scholarship specifically researching the sexual abuse of boys. Within this context, 1 conduct an overview of salient themes emerging from this literature. Specifically, this section examines definitional and methodological issues associated with prevalence and case studies,
and the existence, risks, and effects of this type of abuse. The principal purpose of this chapter is to outline current understandings of malesr experiences of sexual victirnization during childhood and to be critical of this work from the perspective of masculinity theories. Chapter Three, then, highlights the gaps in the knowledge which this study endeavours to address. Chapter Four considers the research process. This section lays out the methodological guideposts, namely critical social inquiry and feminist rnethodology, and the variable ways in which each inform this study. In particular, this chapter will examine issues surrounding questionnaire construction, sample generation, ethical considerations and access, the dynamics of the interview process, and analysis of the data. The purpose of Chapter Four is to provide the reader with an understanding of the theoretical and practical factors which shaped, and were in turn shaped by, this Chapter Five organizes and highlights relevant demographic - information on the male survivors, their abuse experiences and the counselling professionals. With the use of data-dense paragraphs and tables, this chapter provides the reader with a general understanding of the research participants. In particular, descriptive characteristics of the male survivors regarding their age, marital status, educational and employment background, in addition to abuse and abuser attributes are among some of the areas of focus. This section sets the stage for a more in-depth analysis
of the role gender played in how these men dealt with sexual victimization during childhood and adolescence. Chapter Six provides a forum in which the voices of the male survivors and counselling professionals can be heard. The recorded accounts of both of these samples are divided into four contexts: abuse, silence, disclosure, and survival. Each of these segments examines the interrelation of gender and victimization in the participantsr words, Chapter Seven examines the patterns in the data against the backdrops of the critical masculinities and male child sexual abuse literatures. This section underscxes the role that gender plays in interpreting the abuse, initiating silence, facilitating disclosure, and coping with the long-term effects of molestation, In particular, this chapter demonstrates the myriad of ways males do gender in response to victimization. Chapter Two Theorizing Men and Masculinities
The mid 20th century has witnessed the public emergence of North American and European men who are collectively and individually considering the role gender plays in their lives. Largely in response to the challenge voiced by feminists that men recognize themselves as gendered beings, rather than as generic representatives of humanity, males have begun to variously address their masculinity. Men's responses to the ferninist cal1 have waxed and waned over these years, and their willingness to question their relative power within the current gender order has been uneven at best. Similarly, scholarship in the area of men and masculinity has grown and moved across disciplines, attempting to explore the expectations and practices associated with being a man. This chapter then, examines selected perspectives on men and masculinity and their respective strengths and limitations in theorizing the effects of gender in male experiences of child sema1 abuse.
Masculinity and Men in Crisis
What 1 refer to as the l'men in crisistrliterature accentuates a particularistic representation of masculinity. Here, masculinity is referred to as essential, static, singular, and responsible for alienating men from their feelings and fathers, thereby leaving them insecure in their manhood. Writers working within this area . -- -- have identified a variety of constraints which prevent Western men from accomplishing a complete and secure sense of their masculinity. Among these, capitalism and Enlightenrnent modernism have been faulted for tying masculine identity to employment status, denial of emotions, and self-control (Seidler, 1991, 1996) . From this perspective, it has been stressed that men need to liberate and reclairn their inner or I1trueWmasculinity - variously referred to as their "wild man insideIf and Vire in the bellyfr (Bly, 1990; Keen, 1991). Men organizing around men's liberation, which has been dubbed "the1'men's movement, originally emerged in North America alongside the sex role literature of the 1970s and early 1980s (cf. Carrigan, Connell, and Lee, 1985: 565) . These writings advanced the notion that men are socialized into a set of static and uniform masculine expectations that restrict not only how they express themselves, but also how they experience themselves as men. The oppressive masculine l'rolelgis blamed for alienating men fron their feelings, their fathers, and fraternity (cf. Pleck and Sawyer, 1974). The introduction of men's centres and consciousness-raising groups in the 1970s took on a pivotal role in allowing men to organize around their experiences of pain and isolation associated with masculine role constraints. The notion of llmen-in-crisisltcontinues to hold a good deal of popular sway, particularly in the U.S.-based mythopoetic men's movement (cf. Bly, 1990; Corneau, 1991; Keen, 1991). One popular outlet for this movement has been the emergence of workshops and - -- weekend retreats for men to share their experiences of
powerlessness and isolation (cf. Kimmel and Kaufman, 1994)- More
recently, major cities across the U, S. have hosted multitudes - of evangelical Christian men who refer to themselves as the Promise Keepers: a Bible-based movement which encourages men to (re)clairn and (re)assert their control in the family- The wounded male symbolizes these movements and many of the popular writings on and
by men in the late 1980s and 1990s. This image is intended to capture not only men% alienation £rom theix emotions, but also their disposability in times of war and replaceability in the workforce. Drawing primarily on the experiences of white, middle- class, heterosexual men, this literature heralds the message that men are hurting too, and identifies the need for a safe space in which to express and confront their pain. Although various aspects of menfs lives are reviewed in this literature, the subjects of emotion and fathering, and their significance for the development of a masculine identity, are highlighted.
Masculinitv and emotional illiteracv A significant portion of the books-about-men written during
the 1970s was the direct response of heterosexual men to feminism
(cf. Carrigan, Conne11 and Lee, 1985; Pleck and Sawyer, 1974). Although their reactions were not unified, much of this literature sought to emphasize how men are oppressed and limited by their
masculine role. Pleck and Sawyerrs Men and Masculinity (1974) was one of the earlier works to highlight the need for menfs liberation. The masculine role was viewed to be stifling, particuïarïy in its negation of emotionality. Discourses on men's oppression became centred on masculinityfs "demand for emotional self-controlw and the need for men to liberate themselves by getting in touch with their own feelings, thereby enhancing their potential for emotional growth (Pleck and Sawyer, 1974 :150) . Drawing from the womenfs movement, consciousness-raising groups took on a pivotal role in men's quests for liberation (Carrigan, et al., 1985).
The writings of Victor Seidler (1985, 1991) have emphasized the importance of consciousness-raising groups in helping men to recognize and explore their feelings. Seidler grounds menfs detachment from their emotions in conceptions of masculinity that emerged during the ~nlightenmentand were solidif ied by capitalist political economy. He views the association of masculinity with reason and control as exacerbated by liberal notions of individualism and resulting in the estrangement of men from their collective experiences as men. The importance of consciousness- raising for Seidler (1991), then, is its ability to assist men in becoming aware of the role of larger power structures in separating them from their emotional needs and from other men. Although Seidler places himself at odds with several of the assumptions frequently associated with the contemporary men s movementl, he
1. Distancing himself from the more extreme end of the movement for men% liberation, Seidler has stated that he does not believe the oppression of men can be paralleled with that of women. In addition, although Seidler s work does not address masculinities and is limited to the white, heterosexual, middle-class male ------A -- - does conform with their tendency to prioritize personal change over political-contention: As men we have to learn to meet more of our own needs, to give more time to ourselves....Unless we learn to develop more of a relationship with ourselves and so to learn to give pleasure and satisfaction to ourselves we can never learn to care for and nourish others (1985:174), There are also voices within the so-called men's movement that go beyond stressing the importance of men becoming more emotionally aware, to specifying the type of feelings that men most need to get
in touch with. For instance, Robert Bly (1990) is highly critical of what he perceives as the cultivation of an overabundance of lfsoftltmen during the last two decades. He views I1soft malesw as those men who were forced to acknowledge their feelings of concern and empathy (their llfeminine side") in response to the women's movement and the horrors of Vietnam. According to Bly, many of these men are noé happy. You quickly notice the lack of energy in them. They are life-preserving but not exactly life-giving .... The strong or life-giving women who graduated from the sixties. ..played an important part in producing this life-preserving, but not life-giving, man (1990:3).
Instead, B1y contends that men need to get in touch with their
inner wounds through contact with the I1wet,dark and lowIr: the Wild Man inside (1990:9). He views the Wild Man as representative of the energies lying inert within men that have the potential to enable them to act forcefully and with resolve. In a similar vein,
Sam Keen (1991) also emphasizes the importance of men cultivating and expressing their Yire in the bellyS1 (fierceness), ~tressing
experience, he does attempt to provide a historical and cultural framework for understanding masculinity (cf. Seidler 1991). -- .- - - .-.+ - - the ways men have been harmed by both women and the gender system, Keen argues that liberation will necessitate that men be allowed to - Iferupt in a deluge of uncornfortable emotion that will certainly
include torrents of rage and sorrowu (1991:193), There are oppositional voices stirring within and outside the discourses which seek to liberate men's ernotion~.~ These competing views reveal the unspoken, yet implicit, themes in the men's liberation literature that nourishes popular acceptance of the view of men as alienated from their emotions, For instance, the writings of Bly and Keen are criticized for perpetuating the idea of essential differences between the sexes that go beyond the
biological (cf. Brown, 1992). For example, Bly notes: Il... 1 suspect that in the womanfs heart there is a low string that makes her whole chest tremble when the qualities of the feminine are spoken of in the right way" (1990: 236) . Conversely, men are viewed as harbouring a prima1 maleness that is inhibited in Veminizedu spheres (e.g. single mother households, primary and secondary education, etc.) and that is therefore, in great need of expression. More generally, however, the emphasis on menfs emotional alienation is faulted for downplaying the social, political and economic dominance men hold in relation to wornen
2, Although 1 am not able to express the range and depth of the relevant critiques here, 1 do want to acknowledge Kimmelfs observation regarding the limitations of men getting in touch with their emotions, He notes, Men are today developing a wider repertoire of emotions, seeking to express their feelings more deeply and with a wider range of women and men, and yet violence againstwomen (rape, sexual assault, battery) and homophobia both seem to be increasing (1987:9) , (Brittan, 1989:6; ~arrigan,et al., 1985:590; Morgan, 1992:4O;
Segal, 1990: 82).
Masculine frasilitv and paternal absence A common theme that has emerged out of the various men's groups and writings on men concerns the fragility of masculine identity (cf. Corneau, 1991; Metcalf and Humphries, 1985; Pleck and Sawyer, 1974 ; Seidler, 1991) . Men were recognizing that they never felt completely cornfortable with their sense of masculinity; that they never could stop working at being a man. As Seidler asserts, I1[a]s boys, we learn constantly to prove Our masculinity. We can never take it for grantedfr (1985:155). These feelings of insecurity are seen as leading to menfs increased isolation from other men, in addition to their tendency to rely on defensive posturing to validate their manliness. Although the way the tentative character of masculinity was addressed within the literature was not uniform, object-relations theory was influential in accounting for the significance of fathers or father-figures in enabling boys to grow up with a secure masculinity. The impetus behind much of the importance placed on the increased participation of fathers in the lives of their children (sons) is the notion that "[t]he signature of a missing father is the fragile identity of hiç sonsw3 (Corneau, 1991: 38) . Within this literature there is little, if any, mention of a concern to
3. This view is particularly representative of the Jungian- influenced writings of Bly (1990) and Corneau (1991). .- .. - - form more equitable parenting relations that incorporate al1 aspects of childcare (from reading bedtime stories to tending to a sick child or mending clothes) in order to alleviate womenrs stress as primary caregivers. Instead, the emphasis is placed upon the inability of women to raise flmen.ltRelying heavily on Jungian concepts, both Bly (1990) and Corneau (1991) contend that it is necessary for boys to be involved and identify with active fathers, in addition to being presented with positive images of masculinity by their mothers. Bly (1990) maintains that a fatherrs absence will result in long-term injury to his sonfs masculine identity, regardless of the motherrs efforts and good intentionsO4 According to this view, the key to a boyrs development of a positive masculine identity is his rejection of his mother; otherwise, "the son...will probably see his own masculinity from the feminine point of view.. . . [h]e may admire it, but he will never feel at home with itw (Bly, 1990:25). There is minimal attention given to the violence that fathers frequently perpetrate against mothers and children. Instead, it is continually asserted that masculine identity needs...to be constantly reinforced and
regularly supported by other masculine presences in order to remain stable (Corneau, 1991: 15) .
A similar approach which further addresses the significance of father absence in the acquisition of masculine identity is that
4. Bly also suggests that paternal absence has the potential to negatively impact the lives of girls and wornen- He proposes that "[rn]uch of the rage that some women direct to the patriarchy stems from a vast disappointment over this lack of teaching from their own fathers" (1990:97). - -- - which draws from feminist object-relations theory. s In particular, Nancy Chodorow's theoretical framework in The Reproduction of Mothering (1978) has had significant appeal to men attempting to relate defensive and emotionally illiterate
constructions of masculinity to early childhood (cf. Eardley, 1985; Ryan, 1985). Writings on men and masculinity which draw from this perspective examine how the construction of masculinity, as distinct from femininity, has had an impact on the development of gender identity in boys where women are the primary providers of childcare. According to Tom Ryan, fr[t]here is reason to believe that the intersexed nature of the mother son relationship is a key to the understanding of menfs fragile gender identity and the
related problems of f ear of cornitment and intimacyn (1985 :15) . In other words, paternal absence requires boys to define masculinity negatively, thereby necessitating their rejection and devaluation of anything associated with ferni~inity (for example, emotions and dependence). Such a portrayal, however, not only obscures the abuse that boys often suffer at the hands of their fathers; it also ignores that there are other wbearer[s] of masculinity in a small boyfs field of visionttwho serve as models of masculine scripts
(Connell, l995:122).
It has been suggested, and 1 agree, that the attraction of object-relations theory for the contemporary men's movement is its ability to account for the emotional silence of men, while avoiding
5. For a more sustained understanding of the utility of object-relations theory to analyses of masculinity, refer to: Connell, 1987; Middleton, 1992; Rutherford, 1992; Segal, 1990. -- - - - .. - - issues of power (cf. Middleton, 1992 :128) . There is little or no mention of the significance of power in the construction of and meaning attached to men and masculinity (Segal, 1990: 82) . Instead, there is the tendency to produce a "description of a singular and normative mode1 of masculinityI1 (Rutherford, 1992:73). In addition, the focus on early childhood lends credibility to the assumption that "gender identity is a necessary dimension of normal personality growthw (Brittan, 1989:28). Such a depiction not only silences the differing effects of race, class, ethnicity, but also serves to further essentialize nuclear Eamily relations. Finally, an emphasis on the importance of a fatherfs physical and emotional presence in a boy's life obscures the physical and psychological abuse fathers frequently reap on their sons.
Accounting For Difference: Theorizing Masculinities
One of the biggest drawbacks of the wmen-in-crisislgthesis is its tendency to homogenize men and their expressions of gender.
This perspective is too llsimplisticbecause it.. .assumes al1 men are in crisis.. . [and] al1 men have a sense of collective identity1# (Brittan, 1989:183). Critical scholars, in contrast, have tended to distance themselves from such a singular, static view arguing that masculinity is not an inborn, stable quality shared by al1 males across time and culture. Rather, it is a historically and socially constructed set of characteristics that are variously adopted, resisted, and revised by males as they interact with the -
------world around them (Brittan, 1989; Connell, 1995; Hearn, 1992). A critical analysis of masculinity seeks to reveal the tensions and fissures within dominant images of masculinity. The movement of a critical studies of masculinity was prodded by the scholarship and activism of feminists , men organizing against sexism, and gay men (Carrigan, et al., 1985) . AlthougIi often disparate in their visions and practices, each of these movernents of women and men organizing around a critique of gender contributed to shaping the masculinities literature. A brief overview of several of the salient theoretical advances of each of these perspectives is helpful in illuminating several hallmarks of critical analyses of masculinity.
The ap~licabilityof feminisms to analvses of men There is considerable disagreement regarding what makes an analysis decisively feminist. Given that there are multiple feminisms, it is only appropriate that there should also be numerous representations of "ferninist1' research. The various currents of feminist thought are often qualified (for example, radical, socialist and liberal) based on their unique (yet overlapping) interpretations of wonien's oppression, objectives, and strategies for action (liberation) (cf. Descarries-Belanger and Roy, 1991). However, feminist discourses converge in their challenge of the naturalness and neutrality accorded to gender by highlighting how feminine and masculine images are socially constructed and reconstructed on both institutional and ------. .- - - . . . - - . interpersonal levels. Feminist analyses of women's experiences for example in the - -- nuclear family, the paid labour force, and the academic production of knowledge -- have depicted and problematized imbalances of power between women and men. Feminist scholars have highlighted how the artificial bifurcation of life into political (public) and private (personal) spheres has served to minimize and individualize the experiences of women. In challenging the private/public divide, they I1stress that womanrs everyday reality is informed and shaped
by politics and is necessarily political" (hooks, 1992:24). Feminist activism, centring around the slogan "the persona1 is political," not only verbalizes the interconnectedness of the two spheres, but also indicates the complicity of the state in maintaining the abuse of women and children by denying and downplaying its relevance in the wpublicllrealm. Although feminism is primarily grounded in theorizing and giving voice to the experiences of women, men and masculinity are
implied throughout (cf. Morgan, 1992:18), By highlighting the socially/politically constructed and historically variable character of gender, feminists insist that men recognize themselves as gendered beings rather than as generic representatives of
humanity (cf. Ahluwalia, 1991; Layland, 1990). Although research and literature on, by and for men is abundant, what is lacking is men engaging in scholarship that makes men and masculinity the objects of scrutiny, rather than the norm. For instance, socialist feminists have frequently expressed their frustrations in dealing with lfmalestreamtqsocialist politics (Burstyn, 1985 ; Cockburn,
1988; Segal, 1987). As Cockburn laments,
Ln] ot all, but most, men of the left pref er to think that the struggle for social change is essentially class struggle .... Even men whose analysis takes in patriarchy do not necessarily see masculinity - and their own part in expressions of masculinity - as a problem that male socialists have to confront in the name of socialism (1988:309). Cockburn implores male socialists specifically, and men generally, to examine the various ways in which they benefit £rom the relative subordination of women (Burstyn, 1985:81). Other feminists have been openly critical of various factions of what has been popularly dubbed "the men's m~vernent.~' In particular, the mythopoetic men's genre has been identified as homosocial male bonding organized around men collectively rnourning the various challenges to masculine authority, while reaffirming their position in the gender hierarchy (cf. Hagan, 1992) . Instead, many feminists stress the need for males to go beyond repackaging masculinity into more palatable models, to fully examine the social, political and discursive elements which create, recreate, reinforce, and disseminate an image of masculinity centred around dominance over and difference from femininity (Caputi and MacKenzie, 1992 :72) . Such a critique recognizes that as long as f'[m]ale grivilege continues to cloud men's vision ....the men's movement will continue to sleepwalkff(Gill, 1992 :152) . Although critical of such "men's liberation movement~,~many feminists steadfastly aver the necessity of men's involvement in eradicating sexism (Brown, 1992:97; Gray, 1992:166; hooks, 1984 :81) . Specifically, "men have a tremendous contribution to 22 - .. --. - - make to feminist struggle in the area of exposing, confronting, opposing, and transforming the sexism of their male peersgf(hooks,
1984:81). Although there has been considerable concern voiced in the literature regarding how men will interpret and respond to a feminist cal1 to action (Adair, 1992; Canaan and Griffin, 1990;
Hanmer, 1990 ; Luxton, 1993 ) , encouragement is generally garnered from the actions of men who espouse an anti-sexist politics. It is these men organizing against sexism (eg. National ~rganizationof Men Against Sexism and The White Ribbon Campaign) that are most commonly viewed as holding the greatest promise to be accountable for their gendered privilege. 6
Ken Against Sexism: The Progressive Edge of the Henrs Movement
The National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS), the White Ribbon Campaign, and local collectives of men which identify themselves as anti-sexist have been largely ignored within much of the mainstream media. Their views and actions, for the most part,
6. Meg Luxton identifies requirenents which men need to fulfil in order to be fully accountabie for their privilege. This requires, first of all, acceptance of the fact of privilege and acknowledgement of the injustice of their historical privilege as men. It requires them to recognize and challenge the ongoing ideologies, economic, political and social structures which keep that privilege in place. This also involves relinquishing defensive denials and competitive claims to also experience oppression. Rather than taking insult as a point of principle when women point out that men are rapists or wife abusers, it requires that men acknowledge such patterns and work actively to change them. Lt also requires that men learn to understand and tolerate feminist anger (1993: 369) . -- -- - emerged in direct response to and were %harply critical of the complacency and egocentricity of much of the 'men's movement,' its failure to confront patriarchy, its blindness to race and classr'
(Carrigan, et al., 1985:574). Reflecting the diversity within other men's movements, men who align themselves with Men Against Sexism (MAS) often Vary in their points of emphasis and the extent to which they prioritize sexism over racism, classism, and heterosexism. Generally, however, anti-sexist men acknowledge and attempt confront and transform the patriarchal structure
power ,
Creatins an anti-sexist ~oliticsfor men Much of the writing of anti-sexist men is sceptical of or outright contradicts many of the themes which have emerged out of the menrs liberation movement. Two early and influential texts addressing this theme are Jon Snodgrassrs For Men Against Sexism (1977) and John Stoltenbergfs Refusing to be a Man (1990).
Stoltenberg (1990) for instance, firmly rejects the notion that men are incapable of expressing their feelings. He poignantly observes that men as a class have always expressed their feelings, eloquently, and extensively .... Men have expressed their feelings about women, wealth, possession, and territory and turned those feelings into laws and nation-states. Men have expressed their feelings about women, murder, and the masculinity of other men and from those feelings forged battalions and detonatable devices.... Men have institutionalized their feelings.. . . (1990:92) . Male wliberationistsw have also been criticized for being apolitical: more committed to homosocial male bonding around menfs concerns than ~consciouslyaitacking heterosexual male privilege, class privilege, and white skin privilegew (Lamm, 1977 :155) . It has been suggested that men's liberation consciousness-raising has the potential to exacerbate the sexist behaviour of men (Hornacek, 1977; Stoltenberg, 1990) . Conversely, anti-sexist menfs consciousness-raising (C-R) groups have stressed the importance of prioritizing the political struggle against sexism. In attempting to avoid the sexist and heterosexist pitfalls of various menrs movements (for example, rnenfs liberation, gay liberation, and the New Left) , Leonard Schein (1977) has outlined what he believes to be the four dangers that need to be attended to when constructing anti-sexist men's C-R groups. He suggests that anti-sexist menfs groups need to take the following precautions: guard against the groups becoming spaces where men collectively bad-mouth women; make certain anger is directed at the appropriate source (s) (for example, structures that reinforce patriarchal relations) rather than being launched at women; preserve the importance of critiquing menrs individual and collective sexism so that group members do not lapse into unconditional acceptance; and ensure the consciousness-raising is politicizedthrough challenging the sexism of CO-workers, friends, and family (1977: 132-4) Although it is debatable whether and to what extent Scheinfs precautions have been heeded within anti-sexist men's groups, several of his concerns have found elaboration elsewhere. .. - ..A ------Anti-sexist politics and practice Relying heavily on the insights of radical feminiçts Andrea - Dworkin and Catharine MacKinnon, Stoléenberg (1990) explores the political construction of male semial identity and the need for Ilpeople born with penises" to choose an ethic of justice and responsibility toward others. According to Stoltenberg, masculinity is neither biological nor a social role; rather it is a politically constructed idea that becomes real through action. For Stoltenberg, the utility of men within the feminist struggle is dependent upon their ability to relinquish their male sexual identity. He contends, One cannot cling to one's gender as the core of one's being and be of use in the struggle. One must change the core of one's being. The core of one's being must love justice more than manhood (1990:185). Other pro-feminist men's organizations have identified their goals in more explicit and grounded terms. For instance, both the White Ribbon Campaign and the National Organization for Men Against Sexism (NOMAS) view their roles in supporting and furthering an anti-sexist politics to necessitate: "ending men's violence;
supporting reproductive rights for wornen; and a more just custody arrangement for childrenmf(Young, 1993 :32 3) .
Self-reiection and suilt: A critique of MAS Wnile a number of feminists have responded favourably in print to the writings of anti-sexist men and their critique of gendered power relations (cf. Adair, 1992; Eisler, 1992 ; hooks, 1992) , other scholars have been more quick to point out the limitations of this
26 literature, A common criticism aimed at the works emerging out of the MAS movement is that they are frequently overwhelmed by guilt
(cf. Carrigan, et al., 1985; Rutherford, 1992; Seidler, 1990,
1991). Much of this literature is viewed as presenting a static, essentialized, singular, and negative version of masculinity. In particular, Stoltenberg (1990) has been criticized for relying too heavily on moral language and for asserting that men must abandon their masculine identity in order to identify with the various feminist struggles (Rutherford, 1992; ~eidler,1991). Instead, it has been suggested that men need to redefine and recognize the plural dimensions of masculinity, rather than supporting the 'tabandonment of masculinity itself (Seidler, 1990 :218) . The Snodgrass anthology (1977) is also portrayed as self-defeating and limited in its scope. According to Carrigan, et, al., One gets the impression that being subject to constant criticism by feminists is the emotional center of this book, and that the response is to bend over backwards, and backwawds again. A relationship with ferninism is indeed crucialto any counter-sexist politics among heterosexual men; but doing a series of back somersaults is not a strong posture from which to confront the patriarchal power structure (1985:576). A further criticism of the MAS literature has attended to the limits of its often "confessionalu tone:
#Truc Confessionsr are almost inevitably sexual in tone, and the man aware of his complicity in gender oppression may be more willing to mite about his masturbatory fantasies than his f inancial practices . Both, however, may oppress women (Morgan, 1992:40). More generally, the works of anti-sexist men have been faulted for marginalizing or inadequately addressing the various subordinated masculinities (for example, gay and black) . For instance, Snodgrass ' s collection (1977) separated out the articles dealing with gay and black masculinities from the bulk of the book's discussion of male dominance and anti-sexism (cf . Carrigan, et al., 1985:577). It is the contributions directed at accounting for and examining gwalternativellmasculinities to which this paper now turns .
Embodying Resistance: Gay Men and ~asculinity
The emergence of a visible and vocal gay movement during the
1970s has had a significant impact on current discourses on men and
masculinities . As Jefferson keenly observed, [ il f straight men struggled to recognize themselves in the Hyde-like portraits presented them by radical feminism, 'outf gays were already celebrating their difference from 'normalf straight masculinity in a variety of waysI1 (1996:339) . Gay activists were among the f irst group to problematize the political structure of male sexuality and, in doing sol criticized modernist notions of masculinity as tlinherentlyllheterosexual (Carrigan, et al., 1985) . Out of this movement emerged theoretical work linking the social construction
of a homosexual identity in the late lgth century with, amcng other things, the need to give ascendancy to and llnormalizellheterosexual masculinity (cf. Weeks, 1985) . Relying on literature which located the sources of the social oppression of homosexuality, gay men were able to challenge views of homosexuality as a gender inversion, thereby exposing the political structure of definitions of - .- - masculinity. As mentioned above, however, many of the concerns of gay men have been marginalized or ignored within the various men's movements. According to Gary Kinsman,
Lines like ltImay be anti-sexist, but 1 am certainly not gayt1 can still be heard. These men may be questioning some aspects of male privilege, but in attempting to remake masculinity they have not questioned the institution of heterosexuality (1987:103) . Yet, in some acadernic circles, the discourses emerging out of the gay movement have been very influential in the development of an understanding of dynamic and plural masculinities. They compel a view of masculinity as constantly constructed within I1a complex and political field, which there continuing process of mobilization, marginalization, contestation, resistance, and subordinationt1(Carrigan, et al. , 1985 :589) . However, even with the ernphasis on resistance, there has been some scepticism expressed concerning the extent to which gay men contest other attributes commonly associated with masculinity, outside of heterosexuality .
Gav ltmenU: The ltmachoization'lof male homosexuality A good deal of the gay menfs literature has addressed the t'machoizationl'of gay male culture that occurred during the mid
1970s (Blanchford, 1981; Edwards, 1990; Kinsman, 1987; Kleinburg, 1987) . This emphasis on aggressive expressions of masculinity was seen as a way for gay men to reassert their manliness, thereby challenging stereotypical associations of homosexualitywith gender inversion. The process of llmachoizationwis described as "a reification of the masculine exemplified through a series of identities, dress codes and psycho-sexual meanings epitomized in the practice of promiscuous public sex, cruising, and, in particular, clone culture" (Edwards , 1990 :114) . Controversy emerges, however, when one questions whether this emphasis on exaggerating images traditionally viewed as masculine is a resistance to or reproduction of male dominance. It has been suggested that the masculinization of gay male culture not only has contributed to the reification of the masculine, but also has immobilized gay men within existing gender polarities. As Kinsman observes, "[tlhe assertion of masculinized imagery can to some extent lead us away from the critique of the institution of masculinity and its effects in Our lives and persuade us that gender is no longer an issue for gay men"
(1987 :114) . So, is clone culture simply a way in which homosexual men are attempting to reclaim and reassert masculine privilege?
The work of Gregg Blanchford (1981) proposes that the structure of male hornosexual culture is much more complex in the way it reproduces, negotiates, and challenges dominant conceptions of masculinity. For instance, he observes that although the emphasis on promiscuous and impersonal sex among gay men can be viewed as akin to the construction of masculinity in heterosexual casual sex, this apparent reproduction of attributes of male dominance can also be understood as a form of resistance. He notes that for gay men l~promiscuoussex can be seen as the actual devaluation of the - - -- - centrality of sex in a society that gives us meaning as prirnarily sexual be&ngsI1 (1981: 198) . If anything can be stated with certainty about gay men and the movements for gay liberation it is that, like the other movements examined above, gay men do not act in concert. oppositional voices are raised continually. For instance, the way mainstream gay politics have prioritized the importance of llcomingoutm has been
contested for ignoring the experiences of black homosexuals. As Mercer and Julien cogently observe, unlike the stereotypical nuclear family, the extended family system in black communities is a vital means of resistance, to white racisrn. Trying to subvert it by sexual confession is not, for us, the way to solve the contradictions we experience in being gay and remaining part of Our families and communities (l988:lO5) . It is these contesting discourses, within and outside of particular movements, that signify change. As gay men have challenged movements for men's liberation and men against sexism, men of different racial, ethnic, and class backgrounds continue to contest the silencing of their experiences and concerns within the politics of gay liberation. They illuminate the existence of multiple, overlapping and intersecting power relations that beg recognition in order to challenge the "interlocked web of oppression: sexism, heterosexism, racism, and class exploitation" (Kinsman, 1987:104). It is this "interlocked web of oppressionf1that the scholarship on masculinities is beginning to expose and explore. Exposing the Layers: Hegemonic and Subordinate Masculinities
Within the last ten years, scholarship in the area of men and masculinity has begun to move beyond static and unidimensional notions of gender. Much of the present focus attempts to demonstrate the existence of dynamic and multidimensional socially constructed masculinities (Brittan, 1989; Chapman and Rutherford,
1988; Connell, 1995; Hearn, 1992; Hearn and Morgan, 1990; Messerschmidt, 1993; Segal, 1990). In addition to accounting for the patriarchal power structure, this literature prioritizes differences among men, thereby illuminating how masculine identities are mediated through other relations of power (for example, race, class, sexual orientation, ethnicity, and age) . Meanings of masculinity are cornplex, contradictory and variable between men and over the course of an individual man's life. Drawing from and expanding on the aforementioned bodies of work, the masculinities literature centres on recognizing and exploring gender construction as a multifarious process. Given its emphasis on the complex and dynamic character of gender, theoretical work on masculinities rejects the notion that men in general are currently experiencing a crisis of masculinity. Such
7. Although definitions of patriarchy are variable, 1 find Dobash and Dobash's (1979) explanation most useful in my own work. They view patriarchy as a "hierarchical organization of social institutions and social relations [that] ... relegates selected individuals, groups, or classes to positions of power, privilege, and leadership and others to some form of subservience" (1979 :43) . In addition, the structure of patriarchy is viewed as supported by an ideology that regulates challenges to the hierarchical order and reinforces and legitimates cornpliance. a general presumption of crisis is viewed as simplistic, ahistorical, and limited in its failure to move beyond categorical thinking (Brittan, 1989; Connell, 1987 ; Kimmel, 1987) . Thus, in referring to the current plight of ltmen,wla core message in the liberationist movements of men assumes men share a collective
identity , thereby underplay [ ing 3 the turbulence and contradictoriness within the social process of gender" (Connell,
1987: 60). The masculinities literature centres on recognizing and exploring dominant and subordinate representations of what it means to be a man. The work of R. W. Connell (1987, 1995) has been central in documenting and postulating the relational structure of gender . Connellfs work hinges on the concept of llhegemonic masculinity~: historically specific and idealized masculine representations that achieve ascendancy through a cornplex series of ideological, social, political and economic transformations that confer power onto the hegemonic form. The significance of employing the Gramscian concept of hegemony to characterize the social construction of gender rests in its ability to capture
lf...the active process of doingf gender and sexuality, the existence of power struggleç and points of conflict, and the range of opportunities that do existu (Frank, 1987 :168) . Approaching gender from this perspective allows one to move away from static, top-down understandings of power and control. Instead, the concept of hegemony attempts to address the rnurkier qualities of the achievement and maintenance of dominance, which is more about coaxing than force (Connell , 1995:77; Donaldson, 1993:645). - Although the use force not precluded in its maintenance, hegemonic masculinity acquires the ability to def ine femininity and other types masculinity through various processes and negotiations: the nuclear familyfsregulation of desire, the sema1 division of labour, and state cornplicity in establishing and enforcing regulations which reinforce this hegemonic form
(Carrigan, et al., 1985~594). Hegemonic masculinity, then, does not exist in isolation; rather it acquires both its meaning and privilege when countered with other expressions of masculinity. Such an analysis of gender not only demands a recognition of the wide variety of ways men "do" gender but, more significantly, it necessitates an understanding of the hierarchical ordering of the various expressions of masculinity. As Connell cautions, l1 [t]O recognize diversity in masculinities is not enough. We must also recognize the relations between the different kinds of masculinity: relations of alliance, dominance and subordinationff (1995: 3 7) . This relational character of masculinity is one of the keys to understanding its hegemonic constructions. In other words, dominant representations of masculinity are defined by what they are not: not ferninine, homosexual, or physically disabled. Hence, the process of aligning with hegemonic identities and practices often results in men restraining Ifa range of emotions, needs and possibilities, such as nurturing, receptivity, empathy, and compassion, which are experienced as inconsistentwith the power of manhoodlf (Kaufman, 1994 :148) . As it is presently constructed, this dominant form of masculinity is primarily signified by its heterosexuality: both its "difference from, and desire for womenvf (Segal, 1990:99) .
Masculinities: Carvincr out the boundaries Blye Frank (1987) uses the term vvhegemonicheterosexual masculinitym to draw attention to the fact that as masculinity is currently constructed, only a "straightN man can be a I1realWvman. The significance of this insight is not limited to a recognition of men's persona1 sema1 preferences. More than this, it highlights how t@. . .the social practices of institutions and their agents-..encourag[e] particular forms of masculinity while discouraging othersw (Frank, 1987 :161) . According to Donaldson, gay men are vlcounter-hegemoniclvfor three reasons: [f3 irstly, hostility to homosexuality is seen as fundamental to male heterosexuality; secondly, homosexuality is associated with ef feminacy ; and thirdly, the f orm of homosexual pleasure is itself considered subversivev@ (1993 :648) .* In the current culture of hegemonic heterosexual masculinity, homophobia is employed as both a weapon to police the appropriateness of other menfs actions and a shield to protect onefs own masculine security. As Lehne emphasizes,
8- For a more thorough understanding of the historical and cultural factors associated with the "creation of the homosexualWt and its implications for masculinity see G. Kinsman, (1987). The Recrulation of Desire: Sexualitv in Canada. Montreal: Black Rose Books; Plumer, K. (Ed.) , (1981). The Makina of the Modern HomosexuaL London: Hutchison. Homophobia is a threat used...to enforce social conformity in the male role, and maintain social control. The taunt Vhat are you a fag?' is used in many ways to encourage certain types of male behaviour and to define the limits of 'acceptablef masculinity (1989:389). This culturally imbued relation between masculinity and heterosexuality, however, does not necessarily translate into straightforward practice in the lives of individual men. For instance, in his interviews with working-class young men, Connell noted that it is not unusual for a man to have had homosemal encounters, but to define himself as exclusively heterosexual (1991: 154) . Furthemore, Conne11 noted that the majority of gay men he interviewed had their first sexual encounter with a woman (1992:742). His observations counter the notion of an essential heterosexuality and highlight the multiple ways "the male body has to be disciplined to heterosexualityI1 (1995: 104) . In his research generally, Connell stresses that no male follows a linear trajectory to a secure sense of gender identity. Instead, [a]n active process of grappling with a situation, and constructing ways of living in it, is central to the making of genderlg (Connell, 1995:114). This process is further confounded with the addition of other factors, aside from homosexuality, which work to impede the extent to which males can engage in hegemonic representations of masculinity. Although it is the central concept in most critical analyses of gender, hegemonic masculinity is a representation of gender that few men have the social, economic, physical, or emotional resources to sustain. Hegemonic masculinity is more aptly viewed as an - -- -. - L idealistic goal toward which men strive, with most merely cornplicit in its project -- namely the subordination of women (Connell, 1995:79) In particular, where a male is situated within other relations of power (for example, class status, race, age, physical limitations) shapes his ability to construct an acceptable
masculinity ; "create a dif ference between himself and women and girlsw (Messerschmidt, 1993:84). In these instances, "rnarginalizedw men seek out other resources to construct a masculinity which will enable them to carve out and maintain a respectable place within the hierarchy of masculinities. For instance, research has demonstrated that one of the ways lower socio-economic status males attempt to counter a lack of economic opportunities is through exaggerated displays of toughness (Connell, 1991: 149; Messerschmidt, 1993: 104; Willis, 1977:36) . However, a low income or racialized minority background does not necessarily lead a male to engage in violent or other extreme representations of masculinity. It is important to bear in mind the dialectical process that is ongoing between the individual and social structures as a male goes about "doing gender."
This section critically summarizes several of the salient approaches to understanding masculinity. By focusing on the strengths and limitations of the various theorizations, I have identified those components which, when applied to the context of - ---- .- .- - - - male child sexual abuse, will highlight the dialectical
relationship between gender and abuse. 1 argue that the processual
& component of this correlation is obscured by a vision of masculinity as a biological trait or a static role which is uniformly imparted by society and passively accepted by males, resulting in men sharing a unitary experience of gender. Instead, it is stressed that gender is most effectively analyzed as a historically and culturally constructed process which is manifold, f luid, cornplex, and contradictory in its experience and expression. Moreover, the utility of this perspective on masculinities is furthered by its recognition of the "different forms of structural power and powerlessness among menw and the intricate ways men experience themselves and engage the world around them (Kaufman,
1994:153). The critical masculinities literature, and specifically the theoretical concepts of hegemonic, marginalized and subordinate masculinities, are essential to illuminate the process of gender identity and enactment across time and settings. In particular, such a perspective enables one to examine "how different men, with their varying relationships to and engagement with hegemonic masculinity" respond to and cope with victimization (Stanko and
Hobdell, 1993:402). In the following chapters, the masculinities literature will be employed to reflect on the male child sexual abuse research and to analyze how perceptions of masculinity shape the way males make sense of childhood sexual victimization and how their experiences of abuse, in turn, affect their masculine identities and practices . .- -. -- - - Chapter Three ~esearchingMale Child Sexual Abuse
Analyses of male experiences of child and adolescent sexual abuse are a relatively recent addition to the academic literature. Although earlier studies demonstrated that boys are not immune to sexual victimization (Bender and Blau, 1937) such occurrences were deemed rare or less significant than the molestation of girls. Where the relative absence of males from incidence and prevalence inquiries were more thoroughly probed, researchers were apt to attribute their underrepresentation to the boysr fears of being viewed as homosexual (Finkelhor, 1984: Nasjleti, 1986) . It was not until the late 1980s and early 1990s that men's experiences of semial victimization as children found their way into academic and popular literatures. This chapter highlights the emergence and central f indings of the male child semial abuse literature, First, a brief account is given of the events and literature which served as catalysts for more in-depth analyses of sexual victimization from the perspectives of males. Second, a summary of the reported incidence and prevalence of this type of abuse is provided, with a critical look at definitional and methodological issues and their effects. Third, salient findings and conclusions emerging from this body of work are examined with particular attention to how gender and sexuality are theorized in relation to male experiences of victimization and survival. Finally, the ability of the critical - -- - masculinities literature to fil1 in the gaps in the knowledge in the male child sexual abuse research is considered.
Buildins a bridae: The im~ortanceof feminism Over the course of the 20th century, academic interest in the semial mistreatment of children has waxed and waned. Although the early work of Bender and Blau (1937) is frequently cited as evidence of the long standing academic awareness of and interest in
the molestation of children, it is the decade of the 70s in North America which is most often associated with the lldiscoveryflof child sexual abuse (Best, 1990:71-2; Kelly, 198855-9; Mendel, 1995:7; Pfohl, 1977).l Following on the heels of the onset of the civil rightç and womenfs movements, the sexual revolution and Stonewall, the 1970s provided a context within which the sexual molestation of children could be more openly explored. It was also during this time that the U.S. witnessed the implementation of mandatory child abuse reporting (Bolton, Morris, and MacEachron, 1989:35), in addition to the compilation of national statistics on child mistreatment following the enactment of the Child Abuse
Prevention and Treatment Act in 1974 (Krugman, 1996:266).
The 1970s, then, witnessed an explosion of literature in this area. In particular, the North American womenfs movement and radical Eeminism provided a platform upon which many women stood to
1. A detailed historical perspective on the sexual abuse of children is beyond the scope of this paper. Please refer to Rush (1980) and Gordon (1988) for historical looks at incest/child sexual abuse. publicly acknowledge what had long been considered their "private pains. l1 More specifically, the womenfs movementfs aim to make the persona1 political gave women a safe and supportive environment to disclose and discuss, among other experiences, their sexual victimization as girls and adolescents. From these accounts emerged various books and articles chronicling and politicizing womenrs experiences of childhood molestation by men (particularly their fathers) . Through the noted works of Brownmiller (1975), Herman and Hirschman (1977) and Rush (1974) and subsequent research by Russell (1986) and Ward (1984) , feminists sought to problematize mainstream perceptions and approaches to the sexual abuse of girls. These early works were particularly critical of explanatory models highlighting the female as seductress, the notion of the incest ntaboo,lland the role of pathological family systems. As McLeod and Saraga aptly note, u[f]eminist theory starts with gender. In looking at why children get sexually abused we are not looking at some *Neanderthal driverr nor at problern families, but at problematic sexual and adult-child politicsfv(1988:39). Central to feministsF understandings of child molestation is their emphasis on the role of patriarchy (predicated on male sexual, zconomic and politicaf dominance), unequal power relations within the family, and gender socialization. These themes are particularly salient in feminist scholarship examining incest. Here, upon recognizingthe widespread prevalence of father-daughter incest, feminists challenged the notion of a ubiquitous incest taboo (Bell, 1993; Gordon and OfKeefe, 1985, Herman, 1985). As ------. -- Gordon and OfKeefe poignantly observe, To consider a behaviour with this level of frequency 'taboof is to drain the concept of meaning. What has been tabooed is the formation of new families based on incestuous mating; it may that nonreproductive incestuous sex, particularly between older males and females, has been socially prohibited, as murder has been prohibited, but with plenty of violations (1985:78) . It is the portrayal of incest as unnatural and extremely rare in occurrence which serves to isolate the children who are victimized, reinforce public/off icial denial, and maintain the power of men who
engage in this abusive practice (Butler, 1985:9). The concept of power is central to feminist perspectives on the sema1 abuse of children. In illuminating and politicizing the extent and impact of male violence against girls in the so-called "private sphere,I1 feminists have prioritized power imbalances: ".. .male violence is rooted in the unequal power relationships between men and women [and adults and children] at both a persona1 and structural level. . . . (Parton, 1990: 41) . Within the context of highlighting gendered and generational imbalances of power, feminists have been at the forefront in problematizing notions of the nuclear family as natural, harmonious, static, and universal. In particular, ferninists have illuminated the diversity of family forms; the gendered and generational power differentials inherent within the nuclear family; "the family" as socially and politically constructed; and the way that "the ecanomic and social structure of the family is based upon and reinforces the power and authority of
the husband/fatherI1 (Duffy, 1988 :113 ; cf. Barrett and McIntosh, 1990; Osmond and Thorne, 1993) . Although this critique of the -.------* family has been countered by women of colour for ignoring IV... the importance of family as a kinship structure that can sustain and - nourish people,<' it also served as a springboard for feminist
understandings of 'Vincesttl(hooks , 1984 :38 ; Nain, 1991 :10) . Not surprisingly, many feminists have been critical of scholarship which addresses issues of child sexual abuse under the broader rubric of Vamily ~iolence.~Drawing on a variety of perspectives (for example, social learning, ecology, psychiatry,
etc. ) , the family violence literature focuses on family dynamics and sets UP a false dichotomy between abusive (dysfunctional/aberrant) and non-abusive (functional/normal)
families (Finkelhor, 1983; Gelles and Cornell, 1990; Justice and
Justice, 1990; Tierney and Corwin, 1983). In particular, this literature emphasizes the role of psychological family dynamics, in which child sexual abuse becomes a symptom of or solution to underlying dysfunction within the family structure. In these analyses, certain family characteristics are viewed as creating an environment of risk for the child to be sexually abuseà (for example, absence of the mother, poor mother-daughter relations, and frequent parental conflict). ~eminists have been very critical of the Vamily systemsI1 modelrs failure to question Vamily membersf roles and imbalances of power and for concerning itself with the family, rather than the victimtl in its approaches to treatment (MacLeod and Saraga,
1988 :32) . In addition, they problematized the tendency within this approach to portray the abuser as the 'victimf of alcoholism, child sexual abuse, or blocked social and sexual opportunities
(Finkelhor , 198 6: 118) , while rein£orcing the notion of the %olluding motherll who is frequently held culpable for precipitating the abusive actions of the f ather/son/other male relative (Kelly, 1988 :57 ; MacLeod and Saraga, 1988 :31) . Generally, then, feminists have problematized the tendency to minimize the pervasiveness of rnale-perpetrated abuse of women and children, ignore the hierarchicaf structure of gender and sexual relations, and obfuscate patriarchal ideology, which glorifies motherhood, idealizes intact nuclear families, and masks power imbalances and male prerogative (Krane, 199 0 :19 1) . In working toward a general theory of menfs violence, however, feminists, particularly those identif ied with the radical genre, have been criticized for their tendency to essentialize masculinity and male sexuality in explaining the pervasiveness of male violence against women and children (Messerschmidt, 1993 :45-8 ; Segal,
1990:261-71). In particular, it has been suggested that the feminist focus on the female child as the victim and the adult male as the offender has little to offer in terms of theorizing the sema1 abuse of boys (Liddle, 1993) . In this thesis, I argue to the contrary that feminist scholarship and activism in the area of child sexual abuse has shed theoretical light on the sexual victimization of males. For instance, feminisrn ".. . challenges the idea of men and women as unambiguous social categories which stand in immutable opposition tu each other, because in sexual relation to adult men, gender divisions within the category of youth are attenuated" (Nava, 1984 :87) . Even though feminist research provides little direct insight regarding the sexual abuse of boys, it offers a powerful critique of the patriarchal structures and
ideologies that maintain and obscure child sema1 abuse. As ~ickie Bell argues, The specific contribution of the feminist perspective is that it locates the problem of incest within the normal practices of sexuality, of power and of practices of 'net- hearing. ' Its task has been to show the gendered and generational guality of these practices (1993 :176) . The importance of feminism(s) to an analysis of male child sexual abuse, then, lies within their critiques of patriarchal/power relations, the social construction of gender/sexuality, and a cornmitment to radical structural change.
Accounting For The "Malewgin Child Sexual Abuse
Incidence and prevalence For the most part, the child sexual abuse literature has been limited to examining and theorizing the victimization of girls. As noted above, feminist scholarship and activism greatly influenced the direction of many of these inquiries. However, they also raised general awareness and action, thereby clearing a path upon which many men would travel in naming their own experiences of abuse. In addition, the introduction and spread of men's consciousness- raising groups in the late 1970s and early 1980s allowed men a forum in which to examine experiences of suffering in their own lives. Although neither female nor male child sexual abuse has yet to be adequately addressed or suf f iciently challenged, menfs accounts of tneir experiences of sexual abuse as boys are - - - - - . relatively recent, Where it was once assumed that the sexual victimization of boys was a rare occurrence (or at least much less significant than the abuse of girls), more recent research has demonstrated the shortsightedness of this speculation (cf. Watkins and Bentovim,
1992) O For instance, two of the most often cited national prevalence studies , which estimate the percentage of the population that was sexually victimized, found that approximately 8% of Canadian males (Cornmittee on Sexual Offences Against Children and
Youths, 1984) and 16% of the men in the U.S. (Finkelhor, Hotaling,
Lewis and Smith, 1990) reported unwanted or abusive sexual contact before the ages of 17 and 18 years, respectively. Additional non- clinical survey research variously confirms that males are at risk
of sema1 abuse. Prevalence estimates emerging from selected samples of undergraduate students range from 6% ta 24% for males
(Finkelhor, 1979; Fromuth and Burkhart, 1989; Violeto and Genius, 1992; Wellman, 1993). Further, community samples also verify a significant number of males among those sexually victimized during
childhood and adolescence, with rates ranging between 3% and 9%
(Finkelhor, 1979, 1984; Fritz, Stol1 and Wagner, 1981; Kercher and McShane, 1984). Overall, in their comprehensive review of the literature, Watkins and Bentovim identified estimates of prevalence
ranging from 3% to 31% for boys and 6% to 62% for girls (1992:199). In comparing reported prevalence rates concerning the sexual abuse of girls, commonly cited national and community-based studies indicate a ratio of two to five girls for every boy abused (Cornmittee on the Sexual Offences Against Children and Youths,
1984; Finkelhor, 1979, 1984, 1990; Kercher and ~c~hane,1984). Officially collected data used to calculate the overall incidence of abuse based on the total number of reported cases lend additional credence to the existence of victimized males. Although these findings generally also record a lower number of boys as compared to girls who suffered sexual abuse, a recent study uncovered slightly higher proportions of males relative to females when asking parents whether their children had been sexually
abused, rather than relying on data provided by service providers
(Finkelhor, Moore, Hamby, & Straus, 1997: 3) . In isolation, such small percentages of males may seem less signif icant . However , when extrapolated to the general population, the potential magnitude of the semial abuse of boys is
unmistakable. For example, using 1980 U.S. census records, David
Finkelhor projected that a 2.5% to 5% rate of male victimization ".. . should mean a total of 550,000 to 1,100,000 of the currently 22 million boys under 13" (1984 :155) . Such figures far exceed the estimated 7600 cases of sexually abused boys known to prof essionals in the U.S. in 1979 (Finkelhor, 1984:155) and further eclipse the approximately 300,000 cases of sexually abused boys and girls reported by prof essionals in the latest U. S. National Incidence study (Sedlak and Broadhurst, 1996) . Such discrepancies in the data, however, are less indicative of actual occurences and more representative of inconsistencies in definitionial parameters and methodological strategies employed by researchers. ------Limitations to ~revalencedata ~luctuations in prevalence rates can be the source of considerable confusion, particularly when the numbers alone are presented to the public. It is irnperative that the reader ask numerous questions of the data before drawing final conclusions. For example, the higher end of the ranges cited above often originated in studies which employed broad definitional parameters, while the lower end of the spectrum likely emerged from research relying on a more restrictive definition of abuse. It is not unusual for relatively high estimates of abuse to be identified in inquiries where the respondents were asked about experiencing non- contact (for example, exhibitionism and displaying of pornography) in addition to contact forms of abuse. For instance, Fritz, Stol1
and Wagner (1981) limited their criteria to only contact behaviours
and identified a 4.8% prevalence rate for males in their sample of
undergraduates. However, Finkelhor (1979) included both contact and non-contact forms of abuse in bis definition and witnessed an
8.7% prevalence rate arnong a similar cohoxt. In addition, it has been suggested that the elirnination of exposure from a definition of sexual abuse can result in narrowing the ratio of girls to boys
who are victimized (Wachtel, 1986: 80) . Often definitional specificity is equated with accuracy, but by providing a close-ended definition the researcher may fail to include experiences that the victim considers abuse. This realization has led some researchers to stress the need not to delimit definitions of abuse. For instance, Mic Hunter argues that sexualized verbal and emotional abuse, including the ridicule of a child s llsexualdevelopment, pref erence, or organsI1 may also be - ' part of the criteria used to identify abuse victims "...because it pairs oners gender, sexual orientation, or body with shamefq
(1990:12). Although potentially problematic in terms of
reliability, such approaches are significant because they bring to light the victimsr perceptions of the actions and verbalizations which they consider abusive. A further definitional issue concerns the utility of the word
lrabuse.u It has been argued that the use of the term qlsexual interactionsq1instead of llsexualabuse," is more likely to resuit
in a higher prevalence rate because it is less culturally loaded and many respondents, in particular males, are less likely to perceive such experiences as abusive (~romuthand Burkhart, 1987).
Similarly, Matthew Mendel (1995) focused on childhood sexual
interactions rather than I1abuseq1because males are less likely to characterize coercive sexual activity by a female, sibling or peer
as abusive. Other researchers have inquired if the respondent was 'lever touched in a sexual wayqtor Ilforceâ to have sex by an adult
or older childw prior to the age of majority rather than asking about "abuseIf (Finkelhor, et. al., 1997:3).
A related issue that has been addressed in the literature concerns standardizing the age differential between victim and
offender. Although some studies do not take the o£fenderrs age into consideration (Cornmittee on Sexual Offences Against Children and Youth, 1984; Kercher and McShane, 1984)~more researchers are adopting a five year age differential between the perpetrator and victimized youth in determining which acts qualify as I*abuserf
(Finkelhor, 1979, 1990)- Recently, however, there has been concern that the five year age gap would overlook the prevalence and effect of abuse by peers. The significance of peer sexual abuse has been raised in particular by researchers who have found males to be more at risk than females of being sexually assaulted by another adolescent (Johnson, 1988 ; Reinhart, 1987) .* Once a researcher has delineated her or his definitional parameters, the outcome of the survey will also be affected by the group selected as the sample. At present, there have been relatively few attempts to gauge national prevalency rates
(Cornmittee on Sexual Offences Against Children, 1984 ; Finkelhor , et al., 1990). For the most part, the current knowledge base is supplied by the responses of undergraduate samples and other cornmunity/specific populations (Mendel, 1995:46). Although the data gathered from these groups are informative, they also have limitations that must be considered when making interpretations or generalizing to broader populations. Samples consisting of undergraduate students, for example, tend to be non-random and notoriously underrepresentative of racialized minorities and low income populations. Furthermore, such samples often rely on students in psychology or sociology classes, thereby omitting those
2. See Bolton, et al.; 1989:31-5; Mendel, 1995:41-7; and Wyatt and Peters, 1986 for more detailed discussions of the definitional and methodological concerns in child sexual abuse research, particularly studies involving males. .- . . - -. - - who gravitate toward other fields of study and the new information they could potentially contribute. Depending on how they were selected, community samples can also place restrictions on how confidently conclusions can be reached. For instance, Kercher and McShanefs (1984) study of 2,000 Texas residents was limited on several fronts. First, their sampling frame was the list of persons holding valid Texas driver's licences, thereby excluding those Texans who did not drive or whose licences were suspended. Second, even though this U.S. state bordexs Mexico and comprises a significant number of Spanish speaking residents, their definition of abuse and the questionnaire were in English only. Third, they administered their survey through the mail, a difficult venue through which to acquire such sensitive data, particularly if an abused respondent lives in the same household with the abuser, Furthermore, mail questionnaires are unable to tap into the experiences of those persons who do not have a fixed address. Complications resulting from the method of data collection, however, are not uncommon in this type of research. With f ixed budgets and f ew research assistants, the vast majority of prevalence studies are conducted through self- administered surveys (Cornittee on Sexual Of fences Against
Children and Youths, 1984 ; Finkelhor, 1979, 1984; Finkelhor, et al., 1990; Rercher and McShane, 1984; Wellman, 1993) which tend to yield lower prevalence rates and less detailed accounts than face- to-face interviews (Wyatt and Peters, 1986). In addition to the aforementioned rnethodological concerns, ------reducing the "dark figure1' of child sexual abuse, particularly among males, is further hampered by the fact that males are underidentified by those service providers who are an important source of information in calculating incidence rates or the number of new cases of sexual abuse in a particular area during a calendar year (Finkelhor, 1984:157-9). Generally, research has demonstrated that sexually molested boys are significantly less likely than girls to corne to the attention of social service providers (e.g. hospitals and child protection agencies) (Finkelhor, 1985:103;
Wachtel, 1986:Bl). This higher female to male ratio is also reflected in the 1981 U.S. National Incidence Study, leading some researchers to theorize that agencies and definitions of abuse which focus on intrafamilial assault result in the
underrepresentation of males (Finkelhor, 1984:157). Although there are some inconsistencies in the research regarding how extensively boys are underidentified compared to girls in police files on child
molestation (Finkelhor, 1985:103), the general conclusion appears to be that "the sexual abuse of boys is not coming to public attention to the same extent as the sexual abuse of girlsff (Finkelhor, 1985:102). ~hisconcern with the underreporting of victimized males has served as the impetus and focus for much of the work in the area of male child sexual abuse.
Attempts to Profile Victimized Boys
Researchers are continually searching for certain traits that
53 would characterize boys (and girls) at risk of victimization. It is anticipated that identifiable characteristics would assist in alerting social service providers to potential victims of sexual abuse. Although these findings axe limited for the reasons hiqhlighted above, they are useful in underscoring patterns across abuse situations- Among other information, these data illuminate similarities in the victimfs age, family status , type of abuse, and abuser.
Age of the victim When trying to determine the average age of a victimized youth, we are confronted with confusion regarding what is meant by I1age. 1s the researcher referring to the age of the victim at the onset of the abuse, his age when the abuse was first reported, or the age an adult estimates he was at the time of the abuse? Unfortunately, much of the research is silent on this question, This failure to define the victimrs age could have significant consequences for professionals, among others, who are attempting to target the age groups most likely to be at risk of victimization. Generaïly, research has been conflicting in comparing the age of male and female victims. While some studies identify the age of onset for boys to be significantly lower than for girls (Committee on the Sexual Offenses Against Children and Youth, 1984; Pierce and Pierce, 1985; Reinhart, 1987) , other researchers have found an older mean age for victimized boys when compared to girls (Dube and
Herbert, 1988; Finkelhor, 1979, 1990). For instance, in their -
- - -< - - - - sample, Pierce and Pierce (1985) noted a mean onset of age of abuse
for males-at 8.6 years and females at 10.6 years. However, Dube
and Herbert reported a mean age of 6.8 years and 7.4 years for females and males respectively. Selective recorded ages for males
range £rom a low of 5.9 years (Reinhart, 1987) to a high of 11.2 years (Finkelhor, 1979) . Such discrepancies in the recorded ages of onset for males could be due to a variety of factors (for example, sample population, def inition of abuse) . Finkelhor suggests that a low age of onset for boys might be attributable to the hesitancy of older boys to disclose their abuse because they are imbued with "the masculine ideology of self-sufficiency and [a] reluctance to
get helptl(1984 :162) . Furtherrnore, for those studies which rely on service providers for data (Dube and Herbert, 1988; Pierce and
Pierce, 1985), generally only younger males come to the attention of professionals. In cases where the mean age is higher for males than for females, it is not uncommon for these averages to come from retrospective community or popul~tionsamples where a male may feel safer reporting having been sexually victimized in anonymity now that he is an adult.
Familv structure An often highlighted household characteristic that is associated with a boy being at risk of molestation is the absence of a biological parent, particularly a father, in the home (Bolton,
Morris and MacEachron, 1989; Finkelhor, 1984; Finkelhor, et. al., - .-A.. -+ A- - - - - 1997; Pierce and Pierce, 1985) or the presence of a step-father (Reinhart, 1987). ~hisfinding corresponds with the family - composition frequently associated with the sema1 abuse of girls, in particular the presence of a stepfather in the home (Finkelhor and Baron, 1986; Russell, 1986; Vander Mey and Neff, 1986).
As a rule, ethnicity has not been identified as significantly related to the sexual abuse of males or females (Pierce and Pierce, 1985; ~einhart,1987; Russell, 1983; Wyatt, 1985) . ~eterminingthe effects of ethnicity has been particularly difficult, however, given that the majority of samples tend to comprise relatively low numbers of ethnic minorities (Finkelhor, et al., 1997; Kercher and McShane, 1984). With regard to the effects of social class, researchersf opinions of the role of the financial status of a child's primary caretakers have been mixed. Although many studies find that child
sexual abuse cuts across class lines, other research has countered these assurnptions. For instance, it has been noted that children are more likely to be sexually abused when they are raised in a lower income household, with boys at particular risk in such
settings (Finkelhor, 1984:163; Finkelhor, et al., 1997). Not surprisingly, incidence studies which accumulate data from cases
known to professionals are more likely to see young boys from low income homes (Finkelhor, 1984:163). Such findings reflect the propensity of social service agencies to identify and intervene in cases of sexual abuse involving children from lower income homes. Finally, boys have also been identified as more likely than girls to suffer physical abuse in the home, in addition to sexual molestation (Dimmock, 1988:206; Finkelhor, 1984:163). Using a
large data base compiled by the American Humane Association (1978) of al1 cases of child sexual abuse reported to professionals, Finkelhor noted that physical violence was reported in only 5% of the families of sexually abused girls, but 20% of the households of sexually abused boys (1984 :163) . Further research has reported the majority of its male sample of survivors as having suffered often "brutaln forms of physical violence at the hands of both parents
(Mendel, 19%: 150).
Characteristics of the abuse and abuser With regard to the sexual abuse of boys, the majority of studies have characterized this type of molestation as being more likely to be committed by someone who was not a family member, particularly when compared to the abuse of girls (Finkelhor, 1979,
1990; Pierce and Pierce, 1985; Reinhart, 1987; Watkins and
Bentovim, 1992). Although some studies have recorded comparable rates of intrafamilial abuse for both males and females, such findings are often due to peculiarities in the data (for example, samples drawn from the case files of social service providers which primarily comprise instances of abuse among family members) . Finkelhor (19841, however, suggests that there are distinct differences between boys who are abused alone and those who are victimized with girls in a particular setting. For instance, in his analysis of data cornpiled in a 1978 American Humane Association national study on child abuse and neglect, Finkelhor found that
Igboys victimized alone were 2.5 times more likely than girls to be victimized by a non-family member ...[and] over 4 times more likely to be victimized by a non-family member than boys victimized in tandem with girlsf1 (1984: 165) . Of those boys who are sexually victimized by non-f amily members , their abusers are stil1 likely to be caretakers, coaches, or other authority figures in positions of trust (Finkelhor, 1985; Reinhart, 1987). The sex of the offender, however, is one factor that remains constant. Regardless of whether the child is male or female, the overwhelming majority (80-90%) of perpetrators are male (Dube and
Herbert, 1988; Finkelhor, 1979, 1984; Pierce and Pierce, 1985;
Reinhart, 1987; Russell, 1983). Although there is no doubt that women do sexually abuse boys, research generally demonstrates their presence as perpetrators in only 5% to 15% of the cases (Watkins and Bentovim, 1992 :205) . Fromuth and Burkhart (1989) and Fritz, et al. (1981) are extreme exceptions in that they reported the majority of their male college student samples as having been abused by fernales. Although these figures have been touted by some as revealing a "truernrrate of female perpetration, one must keep in mind the definitional parameters of these studies. For instance, Fromuth and Burkhart asked about sexual interactions, nat sexual abuse. Even when women are reported as perpetrators, research has found that they are significantly less likely to sexually abuse a child oz their own, as compared to acting in concert with a man (Finkelhor, 1985:105) . ------Theorizing the Abuse of Boys
Victimization as emasculinization The majority of information that exists on the semial molestation of boys has been collected retrospectively from adult
men in small clinical settings (Bolton, et al., 1989; Dimmock,
1988; Grubman-Black, 1990; Hunter, 1990; Lew, 1990; Mendel, 1995). Limited in generalizability, these data have been essential not only in raising general awareness of this type of abuse, but also in eliciting detailed understandings of men's experiences and reactions to sexual abuse during their youth. A common sentiment running through this literature is its focus on the pivotal function of IVtheV1masculine role in keeping males silent about sexual victimization. The majority of literature examining the molestation of boys has drawn on a singular and static notion of masculinity while highlighting its association with emotional detachment, physical aggressiveness and sexual potency. Principal arnong the reasons for the underreporting of the sexual abuse of boys are that: l1boys grow
up with the male ethic of self-relianceVV (Finkelhor, 1985: 102) ;
IVourculture provides no room for a man as victimV1(Lew, 1990:41) ; masculine identity is coupled with sexual prowess, so to "be preyed upon.. As a phenornenon for which most males have little or no
guidanceu (Blanchard, 1987:19); boys are seen as not needing
protection (Bolton, et al., 1989: Pierce and Pierce, 1985) ; and "emotional repression, as an effort to preserve onefs masculine -- - - d L image greatly limits a man in overcoming the sexual traumas in his pastw (Blanchard, 1987:22). The csmmon theme running through each - of these explanations is that male child semial abuse is silenced and invalidated by characteristics associated with "thew masculine image. Gender becomes the thread that stitches together our frayed understandings of the sexual molestation of boys. Awareness of the role that masculinity plays in impeding males from disclosing their experiences of abuse has led some researchers to conclude that the ratio between male and female victims is much closer than prevalence and incidence studies suggest (Finkelhor,
1984: 150-66; Knopp, 1986: 4; Vander Mey, 1988: 62). According to Vander Mey, At this tirne, estimates of prevalence and incidence must be used with caution. Barriers to accepting males as victims, the silence surrounding the victimization of males, and the possibility that at least the incestuous abuse of males may go undiscovered in the absence of sister victims preclude confidence in this estimate (1988:62). This tendency of males to hide their experiences of molestation in order to preserve a socially supported masculine image of strength, self-reliance, and sexual prowess is further complicated when authority figures (ie. parents, teachers, social workers, physicians) look the other way when this type of abuse is brought to their attention. Researchers have illuminated the role of social service providers in frequently contributing to an under-identification of male survivors. For instance, when a male does corne forward to disclose abuse, there is a strong tendency for that person to reinforce certain gender expectationsthrough denying, downplaying,
60 or dismissing the revelations. In particular, social service prof essionals have been faulted for their recurrent failure to look for and recognize signs of childhood sexual trauma in males (Bolton, et al., 1989; Finkelhor, 1984). A recent survey of clinical psychologists, in which they were asked to hypothetically diagnose a case summary of an adult client where only the sex of the client was manipulated, revealed that males were significantly less likely to be suspected of having been sexually abused (Holmes and Offen, 1996) . Furthemore, clinicians who identif ied sexual abuse as the antecedent to the male client's problems ranked it aç a significantly less important issue than those who associated sexual abuse with the female client's presenting difficulties (Holmes and Offen, 1996) . A further study conducted by Pierce and Pierce (1985) comparing responses of U. S. state protective agencies to sexually abused boys and girls observed that males were less likely to be removed from the home upon substantiation of the abuse. In addition, when treatment was recomended, boys were released from therapy significantly earlier than girls. Mendel attributes such examples of gender stereotyping to a general tendency "to see what we expect to see or are open to seeing" (1995~3). Such cultural expectations surrounding victim appropriateness have also been deemed responsible for preventing male victims from acknowledging their own experience (s) as abusive. Therapists working with male survivors of child sexual abuse have identified gender expectations as impeding men from recognizing themselves as victims (Bolton, et al. , 1989; Hunter, 7- . . - -. - - 1990; Lew, 199-0; McMullen, 1990). As Bolton, et al. observed, Males may eventually break the silënce by telling someone about their childhood abuse of sexuality experiences, but they often continue to use denial strategies with thelnselves.,..This is a frequent xnethod used by males to protect themselves from ... being forced to see themselves as a victim (198% 103). This resistance of males has been theorized as stemming from the failure of their experience(s) to fit their own or othersr definitions of abuse and the fear that the loss of power associated with victimization means they are no longer Ilmen. Accordingly , several scholars have emphasized the need for men to identify themselves as victims before talking in terms of survival (Bolton, et. al., 1989; Hunter, 1990; McMullen, 1990) . However, the need to shore up a male survivorfs sense of manhood prior to addressing his victimization has also been stressed. According to Mendel, "The implication for therapy with a male victim is, perhaps, that one must first assist him in affirming his masculinity, strength, and competence before helping him to accept.. .he was victimized and acted-upontf(1995:205). ~resuppositionsabout gender then, serve to filter information and shape understandings regarding victim appropriateness. This selective recognition of who can be a wvictimvtand what actions can be considered wabusivetfare further problematized by an association of masculinity with heterosexuality.
The (homo)sema1 abuse of boys Given that the overwhelming majority of identified male survivors were abused by another male, the concept of homophobia
62 - -- - . - -- has become central to understanding this type of victimization. This same-sex character of most abuse of boys is viewed as significantly contributing their silence. Within general critique of masculinity, the "stigma of homosexualityw is deemed responsible for exacerbating malesf feelings of shame, guilt and
emasculinization (Bolton, et al, 1989; Dimmock, 1988; Finkelhor,
1986; Hunter, 1990; Lew, 1990; Nasjleti, 1980). As Finkelhor observes, ~homosexualityis one of the more fearsome stigmas among many male peer groups, and boys may be concerned about eaxning the label ,queerf as a result of people finding out about a sexual abuse experience (1985: 103) . It is theorized that the tendency among males to shy away from disclosure is attributable to a fear
of being perceived as being less of a man: II. - .to be less than a man is seen as feminization. The heterosexual survivor , clearly not a woman, worries about whether he is that even more sbameful being - a feminized man, a homosexualtl (Lew, 1990:57). A further complication that seems to result from the same-sex character of the sexual abuse of boys is the confusion of sexual orientation experienced by the victimized males (Bolton, et al.,
1989; Dimmock, 1988; Hunter, 1990; Lew, 1990; Watkins and Bentovim, 1992). Most of this research has been based on adult malesf accounts of their struggles to corne to terms with this type of
abuse and their tendency to If.. .perceive their selection for abuse as a sign of their homosexuality. . .. (Watkins and Bentovim, 1992:217) . Concomitant with confusions about their sexuality, male survivors have been identified as exhibiting a variety of sexual For instance, they are portrayed being more prone to sexual compulsiveness, impotence and difficulty in
maintaining relationships (Blanchard, 1987; Dimmock, 1988; Lew, 1990) . Such complications, however, are not limited to those males assaulted by other males. The effects of female perpetrated child sexual abuse have corne under increasing scrutiny in literature pertaining to victimized males. The molestation of boys by women and the relative inattention paid to this type of abuse in the media and popular and academic literatures have been singled out as further invalidating and isolating the experiences of those males who were abused by
women (Lew, 1990 :58 ; Mendel, 1995: 21-34) . Recent seholarship has shown that male survivors often view themselves and are viewed by others as less than llmennfor not enjoying early sexual encounters with women (Lew, 1990; Mendel, 1995). As one therapist who counsels male survivors observed, For the adolescent male that was abused by an older female and recounts this in later life, other males Say, "oh you were lucky that an older woman was there to give you your first sexual experience." The experience is downgxaded by other males....11 (Burke, 1993:20). Furthermore, popular notions of males as sexually aggressive and commanding of their sexual experiences have obscured the potential for boys to be victimized. According to Finkelhor, "the male ethic itself has tended to portray youthful male sexuality in very positive, adventuresome terms ...paintring] boysf experiences with older persons and adults as much less victimizing than it actually is" (1985:98). However, as Mica Nava observes, "ci311 the context ------of cross-generational relations, boys may be as powerless as girls ...cast[ing] some light upon the multifaceted nature of masculinity ...." (1984:87). This multi-dimensional character of gender is the theoretical focus of this study.
Pilling the Gaps: Critically Engendering the Abuse of Males
Although essential in its heightening of awareness of male victimization, the male child sexual abuse literature relies upon and reinforces a static, homogeneous, I1natural1'understanding of gender. In other words, the vast majority of writers on this subject perpetuate an association of manhood with traits such as virility, competence, heterosexuality, and security. Furthemore, upon reading this literature, one could easily conclude that it is an experience of sexual abuse alone, which leads to a male's gender confusion. Gender is essentialized and dichotomized and its acquisition is portrayed in all-or-nothing terms. For example, non-abused males are implicitly viewed as neatly acceding to a unitary masculine role, while abuse is perceived as thwarting a male's ability to embody qualities associated with manliness. This literature provides little knowledge of the multiple and often contradictory character of masculine identities and practices as they influence and are affected by experiences of sexual victimization. It is here that the masculinities literature is
most useful, enabling one to capture the images of the various ways males define and enact what it means to be a man as they name, ------disclose and cope with childhood sexual victimization.
Connellrs (1987, 1995) concept of "hegemonic ma~culinity,~~ - introducted in Chapter Two, is pivotal to a critical analysis of masculinities in the area of male child sexual abuse. Not only does this idea emphasize the historical/cultural construction of gender, but it is also grounded in an understanding of masculine identities as variable, hierarchically ordered, and continually contested. Furthermore, it accentuates the link between sexuality and gender, both of which (and the relationship between them) are central to an analysis of male child sexual abuse. In particular, the relational character of hegemonic masculinity permits the analysis of the process by which males negotiate gender in response to sexual victimization. As outlined above, the available research identifies gender confusion to be a primary characteristic of males who were sexually abused in childhood or adolescence. Generally, it is the same-sex character of most abuse of boys that has been deemed responsible for this confusion. Although homophobia is identified as impeding boys from disclosing this type of abuse, it remains largely uncontextualized. Furthermore, it was not unusual for researchers to employ the term llhomosexual~abuse/incest, thereby confusing action with orientation, while reinforcing a naturally dichotomized view of sexuality (Blanchard, 1987 ; Bolton, et al., 1989) . Once again, the masculinities literature is integral in its ability to ground homophobia in the social and political context and expose its role in establishing and maintaining the boundaries of hegemonic masculinity. Finally, the works of Conne11 and other critical masculinities theorists focus on the dialectical process of gender construction as males interact with the world around them. This approach to understanding gender allows one to examine how men resist and reconstruct what it means to be a man as they corne to identify and cope with victimization. A primary purpose of this research is to move away from tendencies in the child sexual abuse literature to treat abuse and survival as static events engaged in by individuals who are homogeneously affected. Instead, my aim is to address the multiple ways males survive abuse as gendered beings situated in a context in which particular representations of masculinity are privileged. - Chapter Four
Rasearching Gander and Abuse in the Lives of Ifales
In Chapters Two and Three 1 have emphasized the significance of critical perspectives on masculinities to more adequately theorize the influence of gender in instances of male child sexual abuse. This chapter focuses on the research process, delineating the methodological frameworks which infonn this study and the procedures involved in formulating, conducting and analyzing the interviews. In particular, this analysis of the various ways gender affects how males name, disclose and cope with childhood molestation will draw from distinct, yet overlapping, perspectives. Using guiding principles of critical social research and elements of feminism, this study aims to move beyond descriptive accounts of abuse, in order to generate new understandings of how hegemonic masculinity shapes perceptions of abuse and, concomitantly, how experiences of victimization affect a male's sense of himself as a man. Following an examination of the methodological guideposts informing this study, 1 consider the context within which the male survivors who participated in this project have grappled with issues of abuse. The chapter continues with a review of how the interview schedules were formulated, issues of sample generation, the interview processes with male survivors and counselling professionals, ethical concerns, data analysis, and reflective comments concerning the limitations of this research. The Influence of Critical and Feminist Methodologies
Beneath the surface: Critical social reçearch
A critical approach to research begins with the assumption that facts, knowledges and realities are socially constructed and dependent upon their wider socio-historical context for meaning
(cf. Harvey, 1990; Palys, 1998 ; Thomas, 1993) . Critical social research moves beyond the description of a phenomenon or social setting to question the underlying structures and ideologies that inform these descriptions. A key component of this approach is its recognition "that knowledge is structured by existing sets of social relationsl~ (Harvey, 1990:2). In the case of male child sema1 abuse, this study proceeds from the understanding that knowledge is organized around and impeded by hegemonic constructions of masculinity which emphasize qualities that are inconsistent with sexual victimization (for example, virility, sexual prowess, aggressor, and protector) . Critical inquiry questions the very nature of knowledge and, in turn, stimulates new understandings through maintaining a constant reflexive tension between surface appearances and structures and ideologies within which they are embedded. In the context of this research, a critical approach facilitates a constant dialectical process between the responses and reactions of male survivors and the gendered contexts within which they are generated and shared.
The critical component of this approach is necessary in order to demystify and challenge the "truthsn and "taken-for-granteds" - - that currently shape perceptions of male child sexual abuse; a critical framework permits the exploration of contradictions and the contexts within which they emerge. This approach allows one to move beyond questions of causality in order to examine how hegemonic constructions of gender mold understandings of abuse: who can be an abuser, who can be abused, and under what circumstances can an act be defined as abusive. Folding men's experiences of abuse back upon the context within which gender relations are constructed and articulated, this research explores and exposes the multitude of ways men struggle to cope with their experiences of abuse as gendered beings. Critical methodology is an integrative process which, rather than isolating variables for exploration, Ifargues that elements have to be looked at in terms of their interrelations and how they relate to the social structure as a wholeff (Harvey, 1990:20). These qualities of critical research are significant in that they foster an analysis of masculinities and how privileged masculine expectations variously hinder male survivors from recognizing and coping with abusive experiences. In particular, this approach to inquiry permits an examination of the structures and ideologies invested in hegemonic gender construction and maintenance, while exploring their effects on victimized males. The broad rubric of critical social research is further conducive to this analysis in that it is grounded in the expectation that knowledge gained in the research process will dialectically inf orm and be inf ormed by (political) action. - -* -- - - - According to Jim Thomas (1993), this action can take a variety of . . forms. IR particular Thomas ernphasizes the potential for critical ethnographie methods to provide the subject with alternative ways of viewing a particular issue; enhancing awareness through the
sharing of information can lead to constructive change in (re)action (1993 :32) . This process of transfomiing f indings into action is significant to this inquiry. In particular, it is anticipated that the dissemination of this research will serve to more adequately inform the public (at the community, therapeutic, and law enforcement levels) regarding the isolation many men feel as survivors of child sexual abuse. The concepts of praxis, integration and demystification are not unique to critical social research. Many of the aims outlined above are shared by and elaborated within feminist methodologies, which also significantly contribute to the design and process of this analysis .
Researchins the marsins: Feminist methodoloqies Although there is no specific 'Yeminist rneth~d,~~there are a variety of ways in which feminists theorize the research process that are particularly useful when the subjects are situated "on the margins of the production of knowledgel* (Kirby and McKenna,
1989:17). Feminist methodology is a type of critical social research. Its distinction cornes primarily from the emphasis it places on providing a voice to the interpretations, perceptions and experiences of women, given that female voices have been conspicuously absent from traditional approaches to academic inquiry. In what way, then, is a ferninist-informed approach to - research applicable to men? As a woman who fias been greatly influenced by feminist insights and activism, 1 initially questioned the utility of this approach to analyses of men, who in the main are the manufacturers of the "knowledgettand de facto wielders of the "powertt (for example, social, economic, and political) that are the target of feminist criticism. Within the ranks of feminists, however, are scholars who also recognize that men are a necessary focus of study
for feminists (Layland, 1990 ; Stanko and Hobdell, 1992 ; Stanley and
Wise, 1990). As Stanley and Wise emphasize, Women do not inhabit a single-sexed universe ....In investigating the textually mediated, institutionally located social relations of ruling, there is no way in which a focus on men can be excluded; but it should be included so as to deconstruct the notion of any transcendent, always all- powerful, patriarchal 'Manf (1990:44). David Morgan echoes the importance of incorporating non-sexist (ie. feminist) techniques in analyses of men and stresses the need to take Itgender into account , thereby problematizing masculinity (1981: 95, 1992 :186) . The employment of feminist methodological perspectives when conducting research on men is particularly indispensable when the men being interviewed and the knowledge they share are marginalized. A common theme throughout this thesis is the role that childhood and adolescent sexual victimization plays in marginalizing victimized males. The research informs us that male survivors endure years of silence about the abuse because they fear they will in some way jeopardize their daim to manhood by disclosing the incident (s). Although men are generally privileged in relation to women, these men experience various degrees of marginalization and subordination among other men because of their past sema1 victimization. It is this segregation of male survivors and their knowledges £rom hegemonic representations of masculinity that makes feminist methodology applicable to the study of their experiences. In particular, several of the techniques
employed by feminists are well suited to researching gender within such a sensitive subject area as sexual abuse.
An important aspect of feminist-informed research that 1 found useful was the process of locating myself and my own experiences in the research. This process is referred to in a variety of ways,
for example, lVbeing honourable, " l' intersubj ectivity , l' and Veflexivityu; it is important as a means of keeping the researcher in touch with or grounded in the research process (Duelli-Klein,
1980: 56; Kirby and McKenna, 1989 :31; Roberts, 1981: 16) . This approach is amenable to critical research of a sensitive topic such as sema1 abuse, whereas it would be anathema to a positivist design which strives for researcher detachment and value- neutrality. Although the process of self-reflection is not employed in only feminist analyses (cf. Adler, Adler, and Rochford, 1986) , 1 appreciate the importance many feminist researchers place on the researcher being ".. .another subject in the research process [who]...is left vulnerable in a way that changes the traditional power dynamic/hierarchy that has existed between researcher and .- -. -- - - researched" (~irbyand McKenna , 1989 :32 ) . Continual self-reflection played a significant role in this analysis. It resulted in my keeping track of the ways in which my perspectives changed over the course of the project, and it allowed me to continually account for the limitations incurred by my own persona1 history. The implications of irnplementing this approach were particularly relevant as 1 recognized the degree to which 1 lugged my own cultural baggage regarding gender appropriateness and victim/offender preconceptions into the interview settings. Like al1 of the men 1 interviewed, 1 also was reared in an environment in which gendered qualities were dichotomized and assigned on a mutually exclusive basis to a particular biological sex. Although
1 actively resisted these notions throughout my life, 1 was amazed that 1 continued to harbour remnants of this either/or view of gender. Therefore, I found it essential to spend time after each interview reflecting on how my presence and rapport with the participant shaped the interview and how the session affected my own understandings,
1 was also influenced by the importance many feminiçt ethnographers place on deconstructingthe interview process (Kelly, 1988 ; Oakley , 1981) . Those engaging in feminist-informed research are often critical of positivist-schooled researchers who only interact with their respondents through their research instrument (for example, a questionnaire). 1 purposively selected a semi- structured interview schedule to allow the opportunity to develop ------rapport and to foster "a learning environment. The positivist - emphasis on the researcher maintaining control can often be detrimental ta the establishment of an authentic dialogue between the researcher and llsubject.llAlthough one can nevex be certain how the mere presence of the researcher stifles the flow of communication (cf. Hammersley and Atkinson, 1983) , 1 found that honesty (with regard to the purpose of the project) , f lexibility (not clinging to the order of my outlined themes), and accessibility (openness to input and suggestions from research participants), enhanced the rapport. Feminist research further tends to be process-oriented. Feminists argue that a positivist focus on presenting isolated facts is "context-strippingtt;it ignores the processes by which certain phenomena and viewpoints corne into being (Duelli-Klein,
1980:62; Sprague and Zimmerman, 1989:75). The continual grounding of data within the contexts from which they sprouted is essential if one is to capture the richness and depth of a participant's response. Contextually situating the data was particularly imperative in this reseorch where male experience (s) of abuse could not be isolated from the structural, ideological and discursive privileging of particular masculine forms. Although this section cannot fully capture the richness of the variable ways feminists theorize "how research should proceed, it
1. The concept of a Irlearning environmentII refers to a reversal of the traditional research hierarchy. Instead of "xesearching down,I1 this approach allows one to promote an atmosphere of exchange, in which the researcher assumes the role of a student or learner. highlights those aspects which have been specifically influential
formulating , engaging and analyz hg this particular research pro ject (Harding, 1987 :3) . These insights, coupled with sorne of the salient foci of critical social research, have enabled me to examine the primary research question: How do hegemonic constructions of masculinity shape how males experience, name, and disclose sexual abuse that occurred their childhood and adolescence?
Surviving ~hildSexual Abuse in Southwestern B. C.
Dispersed throughout the culturally diverse southwestern region of British columbia2 are a large number of male as well as
female survivors of child sema1 abuse. Although estimates Vary with regard to the actual prevalence of this type of abuse, the findings of a national survey conducted by the Canadian Committee on Sexual Offenses against Children and Youth (1984) are widely
cited. According to their survey of 2008 adults, 17.6% of the women and 8.2% of the men had experienced some type of serious,
unwanted sexual act before the age of 17.3 Although in isolation such figures may not seem staggering, a Vancouver-based therapist,
2. For the purpose of this research this area extends west to include the Gulf Islands and Vancouver Island, north to 100 Mile House, east to Hope and south to the U.S. border.
3. For some interesting critiques of the Committeefs method and findings see Lowman, J., M.A. Jackson, T.S. Palys, and S. Gavigan (1986) Requlatincr Sex: An Antholosv of Commentaries on the Findinas and ~ecommendations of the Badalev and Fraser Re~orts. Burnaby, B.C.: School of Criminology Simon Fraser University. ------. - using a ratio of one in ten males as having been sexually abused, puts such-an estimate into perspective: Vancouver is a city, or rather a metropolis of a million and one half . So if there are 300,000 men above the age of 20, that means that there are 30,000 male survivors in Vancouver, if it is one out of ten...I'rn carrying a full caseload and 1 can see about 20 (quoted in Burke, 1993). Programs and services for the B.C. population of adult survivors of this type of abuse are grossly inadequate: waiting lists can be months long, and funding, when available, is sporadic. The existence and availability of programs specifically designed to address the needs of males are particularly sparse. During a recent conversation, a Vancouver-based therapist commented that, at one point, he had f ive men who regularly travelled from Kelowna (457 kms. inland from Vancouver) for counselling because of the unavailability of services specific to male survivors in that aream4 In southwestern BC., there are currently two programs that provide counselling services specifically to male survivors of
child sexual abuse: VSMSS~ (Society for Male Survivors of Sexual
Abuse located both in Vancouver and Victoria) ; and VISAC (Vancouver Incest and Sexual Assault Centre) . In addition, there are occasional groups that may be offered at various other agencies when funding permits . Because these programs are primarily located
4 A men's group has since started in Kelowna and these men no longer travel to Vancouver. 5. Since this research was conducted the name of this organization has been changed to the British Columbia Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse. For the purpose of this project, 1 will use the old name as it is how the participants referred to this organization. ------. - . - in or near the downtown districts of Vancouver and Victoria, men who live in satellite communities (for example, Abbotsford, Maple - Ridge, and Port Alberni), in the interior of B.C., or on one of the Gulf Islands often are unaware of the availability of these programs or lack consistent access to or funds for transportation to receive these services. Costs of counselling can also prove to be prohibitive for those men and women who çeek professional assistance in coping with the long-tenn effects of childhood sexual abuse. Although several private and agency-based therapists operate on a sliding-scale , the number of clients they can accommodate at the lower end of the fee schedule is very limited, leaving one with the option of being put
on a waiting list or paying fees ranging from $50 to over $100 per hour. For those men and women who qualify, there are some
alternative funding sources that cover or help defray the cost of counselling. For instance, the Residential Historical Abuse program will cover the cost of up to six months of professional
counselling for residents of British Columbia who were sexually abused under the age of 19 years while residing in a provincially funded home or residential program. Alternatively, a survivor of childhood sexual abuse may apply for financial assistance through the Criminal Injuries Compensation program once he or she has filed
a report of the abuse with the police. The restrictions placed on
the length and type of services by these funding agencies, however, have been problematized as ineffective and individualized band-aid
solutions to large scale social problems (c.f. Burke, 1993:23-24; Dobash and Dobash, 1992:291). There have been attempts to raise public awareness of the existence and prevalence of male child sexual abuse within B.C. and throughout Canada during the last several years. For example, the
Canadian National Film Board's 1993 "The Boys of St. Vincentf1 depicts the extensive and systematic sexual abuse of young boys who were institutionalized in a Catholic orphanage by the priests who staffed the institution. Not long after the film was aired, BOYS Donft Crv was published. This book documents the struggle of bringing the physical and sexual abuse of boys by the Christian Brothers at Ontario's St, Josephfs and St. John'ç training schools to the attention of the criminal justice system and subsequently, the nation (Henton and McCann, 1995). National attention was further piqued with the public admission by Canadian hockey player
Sheldon Kennedy that he had been sexually abused by his former junior hockey coach, and the subsequent admission by a Maple Leaf
Garden employee to molesting 24 boys (cf. Vancouver Sun, January 7,
1997:Dg; Vancouver Sun, September 9, 1997:A4). Locally, the media, on occasion, draw attention to the experiences of and need for services for adult men who were sexually victimized as children
(cf. Vancouver Sun, October 9, 1992 :A3 ; Vancouver Sun, November 20, 1993 :Dl3) . Male child sexual abuse was the subject of a Vancouver- based late night talk radio program (David Berner show, CKNW, April
12, 1995). However, it remains questionable whether such atternpts at raising awareness actually facilitate male survivorsr perceptions of risk or disclosures of the abuse because of the .- . . . - - . - - present lack of research in this area.
The Research Process
Formulation of the interview schedule My initial interest in studying male child sexual abuse was piqued while engaging in research on female abuse during my M.A. program in 1990. 1 became aware of how relatively little information there was on the sexual victimization of boys and the adult male survivor. This interest was solidified, during the first year of my Ph.D. program, when 1 came across a newspaper article which depicted the lack of services available to male survivors in the Lower Mainland (Vancouver Sun, October 9, l992:A3).
Initially, 1 sought to explore what the newspaper article had described as a dearth of services for men. This inquiry involved interviewing ten counselling professionals who offer services to male survivors regarding their perceptions of the needs of this population and the extent to which they believe these needs are being met. Their experiences with male survivors and viewpoints regarding male child sexual abuse supplement this dissertation to provide a sense of what caregivers perceive to be the needs of males who have been sexually victimized. Furthermore, the data accumulated from these interviews, coupled with in-depth reviews of male child sema1 abuse and men and masculinities literatures, provided the foundation for constructing an open-ended, semi- - -- - . - - - structuxed schedule to interview adult men who had been rnolested during their youth. The significance of an open-ended semi-structured interview schedule for this study rests in its flexibility. This type of schedule usually comprises a list of questions or topics of interest which are ordered according to the conversational flow, rather than rigidly ordered, pre-set inquiries. The versatility of this approach affords the participants the opportunity to diverge from the initial research questions and themes and describe their own perceptions in their own words. Researching an area in which comparatively little analysis has been done would be incompatible with an interview structured around a series of fixed questions purporting to pre-know the relevant issues. Furthermore, this kind of interviewing allows for the development of rapport and fosters an environment in which the researcher can learn from the participant. A semi-structured approach to interviewing is more than a means of data collection - it fosters "a sharing of ideas and philosophy and experience and symbolic expressions-..a sharing
of selfII (Kirby and McKenna, 1989 :68) . The original set of questions underwent several drafts . Revisions wexe based on input solicited from members of my dissertation cornmittee, additional faculty, and colleagues within and outside of the School of Criminology. Following approval from
the University Ethics Review Committee on October 14, 1994, two pilot interviews were conducted with adult males, one of whom had been sexually assauited as a young adult. These trial runs proved -- - --
A a - - -- usef ul in identifying ambiguities in wording and awkwardness in format. For example, 1 originally intended to elicit demographic information verbally , but both men in the pilot interviews expressed discomfort with being asked directly about sensitive issues such as their sexual orientation or incorne. Admittedly, 1 also felt awkward posing these questions aloud. The pilot participants suggested that 1 obtain relevant demographic information by distributing a short closed-ended written questionnaire toward the end of the interview. In subsequent interviews, 1 found this method of data collection to work very well in minimizing the intrusiveness of gathering potentially sensitive information.
Male survivors: Sam~leaeneration and issues of access For the purpose of this project, the sample population was limited to adult men living in southwestern British Columbia who describe themselves as survivors of child sexual abuse. In this study, a l'survivor" of child sexual abuse describes someone who continues to live after the victimization (that is, who was not killed during the abuse or did not commit suicide as a result of the abuse). The use of this word 'lsurvivor" also represents an attempt to highlight the person's potential for change, resistance, and coping, instead of focusing solely on the static, passive, and helpless qualities associated with the term llvictim.ll1 chose to restrict the target population to southwestern B. C. because of its concentration of programs and services for male survivors within ------the province and the fact that 1 was operating on a very limited
budget. Further, 1 was specifically interested in the opinions of the men who live in this geographic area regarding the availability and adequacy of services. Locating and gaining access to adult men who identify themselves as having been sexually abused during their youth is an arduous task. For instance, there is no list of male survivors to sample from, and men who seek professional services often discontinue therapy upon disclosing their experiences of abuse
(Burke, 1993). Further, as research has extensively documented, sexual abuse is not something men readily disclose. With these limitations in mind, then, I chose to rely on the recommendations
of 11gatekeepers1t6.In this case, 1 contacted eight of the 10
social service professionals whom 1 had interviewed in 1993' and five additional therapists who were recommended by acquaintances, and informed them of the nature of this study and the need for
participants. Each professional was originally contacted by phone in order to personalize the project. Subsequently, a letter was
mailed detailing the aims of the research and requesting their assistance in informing those men who meet the research criteria:
being 19 years or older and self-identifying as having been
6. The term ltgatekeepertfrefers to a person who controls access to a particular setting or individual (for example, the counsellor of a men's group) . 7. 1 was not able to contact al1 of the original social service providers that were interviewed in 1993 either because they were no longer with a particular agency, their contact phone number was no longer valid, or they did not return my calls. ------sexually abused in childhood and/or adolescence. For the purposes
of this research, 1 am more concerned with the survivorst perceptions of the experience(s) as harmful or abusive than with legal criteria. This definitional approach incorporates not only overt sexual acts, but also sexualized verbal and visual messages that the survivor found to be abusive/harmful during childhood and adolescence. Several of the service providers and therizpists expressed concern about soliciting their clientele to participate in this research. Appropriately, they wanted to ensure several things: that in their opinion the men were emotionally strong enough to talk in-depth about the abuse outside of the therapeutic setting; that the confidentiality and anonymity of those men who chose to participate would be adequately protected; and that participants would be able to freely terminate the interview at any stage of the process. The board of one agency, in particular, was very hesitant to inform their clientele about the research. Specifically, a board member was concerned that my research would not benefit male survivors and that my qualitative approach would not be "rigorousn enough. After numerous phone calls, faxes, the creation of an informed consent fom to implement during these interviews, * and the intervention of a thesis cornmittee member on my behalf, approval was given over three months after my initial request. Overall, initial requests were mailed to the service professionals
8. For reasons explained below, 1 did not use informed consent forms for those men who were not contacted through this particufar agency. in October of 1994 and the final interview with a male survivor was
completed in July of 1995. Relying on snowball sampling that built on the referrals of service providers, 1 located and interviewed 17 adult men (19 years or older) who identified themselves as having been sexually abused as children andior as adolescents. 1 found this sampling method to be best suited to the sensitive nature of the research topic because it allowed me to develop a continuous sample from the recommendations of gatekeeping professionals and prior participants. Sixteen of the interviews were conducted in a face- to-face setting and one was completed over the telephone. Al1 of the men were residing within the boundaries of what 1 have labelled southwestern B. C., except for one man who had recently moved out of the province. Although 1 had originally intended to rely only on non-captive populations, 1 was contacted by a counsellor regarding two male prisoners who wanted to share their experiences with me, After receiving special approval from the University
Ethics ~eviewCommittee, 1 interviewed these men, both of whom significantly contributed to the diversity of the sample.
Interviewins male survivors
The interviews were audio-taped and ranged front 90 minutes to four hours in length. At the commencement of each interview, I provided the participant with some persona1 background information and the reasons why 1 am conducting this research. The purpose of this opening approach was to set an informa1 tone and allow the men .. . . - - . - - to become mo;e acquainted and comfortable with me and their - surroundings. After this introduction, the men were asked to - choose how they would like the interview to proceed. Some of the participants felt most comfortable talking about their stories of abuse without any initial prompting. Other men asked to begin by having me pose a question or two and then would begin to recount their experiences and what they considered to be important. Finally, there were a few men who preferred the structure of a question and answer format from which they could deviate, but which would guide the conversation. Each format allowed me to address the issues outlined in the interview schedule and probe those areas of which 1 was unaware or had only vague knowledge.
The research setting varied. When possible, 1 asked the participantto decide where he would be most comfortable conducting the interview. Of the 17 sessions, one took place over the phone, two were conducted in my home, two were completed in penitentiaries, four occurred in the participant's home, and the remaining eight interviews were carried out at the Vancouver
Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Assault. As it turned out, the interview setting, including factors such as lighting, noise, and distractions, significantly influenced the interview dynamic. The interviews which took place in either my home or the participants' were generally relaxed and minimally hindered by distractions. The one exception took place in a man's house on a cold and snowy afternoon in March. The house was old, drafty, and had a stone fireplace as the only source of heat. Although 1 was - .- y -- dressed warmly, kept my coat and gloves on, and we both sat in front of the fire, I was continuously distracted by numbness in my toes. Worse, for the first hour, the tape-recorder inexplicably kept going on and off and the interview was interrupted on several
occasions as we sought out other electrical outlets and ways to rectify the situation, The institutional settings posed their own challenges. In one
case, the participant and 1 were given his Case Management Officer's (CMO) office to use. Although we could close the door
for privacy, the phone frequently rang loudly and his CM0 came into the room four times during the interview, shuffled through some papers and abruptly left again. In the other institution, we were given one of two glass-enclosed rooms. My chair faced the other room which was occupied by a man working in a professional capacity with his back towards me and a prisoner seated and often staring in my direction. During Our lengthy session, a series of men were seated in the next room in my direct line of vision. This facility is known for conf ining a large percentage of sex offenders and 1 found myself distracted by and uncomfortable with the gazes of those prisoners in the next room. As a rule, interviewing at the Vancouver Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse (VSMSSA) was comfortable, relaxed and private. However, on Saturdays, the most common day for interviewing in this location, 1 was often assigned a room which shaxed a wall with an area where modelling photo sessions were held
on the weekends. As a result, frequent roaring laughter and loud ------disco music filtered into the room. Although the men never complained, there were awkward moments when a participant was tearfully recounting the abuse or pausing to collect his emotions while the vibrations of Kool and the Gang's VelebrationW or
Madonnars "Like a Virginw thumped loudly on the walls. Overafl, audio-taping proved to be essential in collecting such sensitive data. Although it was not without glitches, the tape recorder served as my third and most sensitive ear. Ié
captured conversational nuances that 1 had forgotten by the time 1 sat dom to transcribe. Although it has been noted that the introduction of this small piece of technology has the tendency to make some participants feel uncornfortable, the presence of a tape recorder need not elicit anxiety, and 1 found audio-taping an indispensible tool for collecting data about sexual abuse. Using a tape recorder can be beneficial in its symbolic ability to signal the start of an interview with a push of a button and in keeping
the interview focused (Jackson, 1987:89)* Moreover, the cassette recorder allowed me to maintain consistent eye contact with the men as they shared their stories. It would have been awkward and inconsiderate to hand-record notes as the men, often painf ully, recalled their experiences. In light of these benefits, audio-taping also has its limitations. Unfortunately, some of these drawbacks were the result of interviewer-error. For instance, on three occasions 1 forgot to turn the microphone on and lost a portion of the interview. Although 1 tried to revisit the information which was ------not recorded, I found it to be less rich and detailed than the original insights. On other occasions 1 would be so involved with what a participant was saying that I forgot to turn the tape over
before it had ended. Even on those occasions when 1 did remernber to change sides of the tape, my impulse to do so would often be at a point in the interview where it wouLd not have been appropriate to abruptly switch sides of the tape. I found it difficult to be unobtrusive in this regard and would frequently wait for a break or a lighter moment to turn the tape, often before it had run out. Finally, when transcribing, I was often hindered by the tendency of the recorder to magnify distant noises. Too often, a chirping bird, an accelerating bus, or conversations of passersby would drown out or mask some of the participant's words.
Interviewina counsellina professionals, The interviews with the therapists and other service providers afford supplementary data to this study. They were significantly shorter in length, less detailed and narrower in focus than the interviews with the male survivors. The purpose of incorporating the insights of this group is to juxtapose their perceptions of the issues faced by and the needs of men who have been sexually abused with the opinions of male survivors themselves. Specifically, their viewpoints were solicited regarding: the benefits and impediments to working with male survivors; the motivations that lead male survivors to seek counselling services; the adequacy and distribution of information available to male survivors; and how .. -- - - .-- - the needs of male survivors can best be met.
Overall, I spoke with 12 social service providers who had - various experiences working with males who had been sexually abused as children and/or adolescents. In this study, however, only those seven interviews which were audio-taped will be analyzed, even though al1 of the conversations contributed to this research, with each interview building on information obtained in previous sessions. Locating and accessing service professionals who have had experience counselling male survivors was problematic. Generally, other than counsellors working for the VSMSSA, therapists working with men who were sexually abused tend to be as %wisiblefl as their clients. The newspaper article which highlighted the lack of services for males provided a starting point by listing two agencies which offered services to victimized males. Thereafter, the sample began to snowball with some counsellors providing names of colleagues who had male survivors in their clientele, The interviews were generally brief. Only two sessions lasted
over one hour. 1 began by emphasizing that my goal was to learn as much as possible about what professionals working with male survivors perceive to be the major issues and needs of this group. As expected, the range of each participant's experience with counselling victimized males varied from those who worked exclusively with this group, to those who encountered one or two isolated cases. 1 found this diversity to be highly desirable because it enabled me to gain some sense of how the extent of their experience affected their perceptions of male child sexual abuse. The conte- within which the interviews took place varied, ranging from a quiet, cornfortable, closed-door session in the participant's office, to the loud and cramped environment of a small cafe. As with the male survivor interviews, the distractions associated with each setting not only affected the type of
information that 1 was able to obtain, but also hindered my ability to transcribe conversations which were recorded in noisier atmospheres. Of the seven participants who permitted their opinions to be audio-taped, only one requested that the recorder be
turned off for a short period of time during the interview.
Analvsis of the data A key component of critical social research is that analysis is not restricted to the period of time after al1 the data have been collected. Rather, "the process of assimilating and reflecting on the data" begins with the initial contact with participants (Harvey, 1990: 13) . As a way of facilitating this process, 1 found a quiet place after each interview to take notes and to reflect on the session: what the participant focused on and
circumvented in recounting his experiences and answering my questions. This period of reflection allowed me to focus on any new themes which may have emerged, and differences and commonalities among participants with regard to their experiences and reactions. I transcribed the 17 male survivor and seven service provider interviews wi€h--the -assistanceof a transcription machine. While this was at times a tedious process, transcribing the tapes myself was essential in that it (re)immersed me in the data, allowing the opportunity for new insights and questions to emerge. Following transcription, the interviews were read and reread in order to discern specific and generalizable patterns in the data. During this stage, 1 selected out strings of words or sentences from each transcript that corresponded to identifiable themes which emerged from the data overall. Once these themes were coded, the analysis consisted of moving between the highlighted themes, looking for patterns and disparities in the data. The resulting patterns were continuously reflected back on the theoretical frameworks informing this research, and the social context within which the interview and the participants experiences of abuse, suppression, and revelation occurred.
From this analytical process 1 found that the men's accounts of their abuse consolidated around the dialectical relationship between the participant * s perceptions of victimization and masculinity within the contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure and surviving. Their experiences within each of these contexts will provide the analytical fodder for this thesis.
Ethical Considerations
This research was approved by the University Ethics Review Committee in October of 1994 (see Appendix) . Given the sensitivity - -- surrounding the issue of child sexual abuse, 1 took a variety of precautions to ensure that the identity and integrity of the
participants would not be sacrificed. One way that 1 sought to ameliorate this concern was by not proactively soliciting the participation of specific male survivors in this project. Rather,
1 relied on prior participants and professional contacts to spread the word, thereby allowing potential interviewees to notify me if they were interested. The protection of participantst anonymity and confidentiality remained a concern throughout. An answering machine installed in a secure room allowed each potential participant to contact me any day of the week and at any t ime . The message requested only that the caller leave an identifying first name, phone number, and the best time to be contacted. The taped message and referring therapists further ensured the caller that the recorder was in a secure room and that his information would remain confidential. Additional participants were brought to my attention by service professionals who acted as liaisons in setting up the interviews in order to protect the identity of their clientele. With the exception of those men who were contacted and interviewed at the Vancouver Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse, informed consent forms were not used in
order to further safeguard the identities of those men 1 interviewed. Instead, the participantst stated willingness to become involved in and continue with the interview, after receiving information about the research content and process, constituted evidence of voluntary and informed consent. Al1 participants were - - . . .. identified only by a code and any names used during the interview
were either deleted or changed upon transcription, Finally, al1 tapes were stored in a secure place in a locked file and will be destroyed following the conclusion of this project. The potential for a participantto experience emotional stress before, during, and after the interview is a typical concern in this type of research. Although some participants in this project visibly struggled in recounting the abuse, previous research has demonstrated that recalling and searching for meaning in abuse has
empowering effects (Kelly, 1988; Silver, Boon, and Stones, 1983)-
In addition, 1 attempted to mitigate the potential for the interview to induce stress among participants by taking the following precautions: interviewing men who have already named their experience(s) of abuse; answering participantsf concerns
prior to, during, and after receiving their consent; informing the men that they could refuse to answer any questions and discontinue the interview at any time; and acting as a resource for support groups, books, and services specific to male survivors that could help participants explore other questions and concerns beyond the interview and their therapy.
Unlike the fields of medicine and psychology , l1 [ i] n f ieldwork. . .the most serious harms result from the manipulation of data, not people, and occur at a later date, when the research
findings are disseminated...." (Wax and Cassell, 1981:226). This is a potential ethical concern that must be considered in this research. As the researcher, it is my responsiblity to ensure, to ------the best of my ability, that the data and conclusions do not misrepresent the words of participants and are not used to the
disadvantage of male survivors (c.f. Kirby and McKenna, 1989:164). With these concerns in mind, a compilation of the research findings and srzmmaries will be distributed to those men who provided me with a contact address for the purpose of remaining inforrned. Thereafter, 1 anticipate contributing information obtained from this study to the local Voices for Survivors Support Society newsletter. I will also make myself available to speak to police off icers, recruits, and other interested prof essionals at the local Justice Institute regaxding the research.
Research imitations
Al1 research projects are in some way limited by the parameters that are constructed around issues of definition, sampling, data collection and analysis - and this study is no different. Specifically, 1 made numerous decisions each of which shaped the boundaries of the project and restricted the questions
I asked and the conclusions that 1 drew, First, this study is limited in that it only incorporated the insights of men who had already disclosed their abuses and who sought therapeutic services from a counselling prof essional. Although it would have been very informative to learn more about
those male survivors who had not received therapy for the abuse, 1 did not find that approach to be ethically viable because of the - .- - - - .--- - - potential for a first-time disclosure to be emotionally detrimental, particularly without a support network in place. - Recognizingthe difficulty of obtaining interviews with men who had never disclosed their abuse or sought therapy, such data would be invaluable in broadening our understandings of childhood sexual abuse. Second, the geographical parameters which were placed around this study in order to make it manageable excluded the voices of men who dwell outside of this boundary. The experiences of male survivors living in the interior of B.C., and more isolated communities generally, beg exploration. Unfortunately, it was not feasible to pursue the perceptions of men in more rural communities in this project. ~hisgeographical picture, however, as it pertains to the intersection of masculinity and abuse, is in need
of examination. Such research would offer comparative insights between the experiences of males who were sexually abused in an urban area, where gendered expressions are afforded more anonymity, and those whose masculine identities were more likely scrutinized in close-knit, rural communities, Third, given restrictions on my time and resources and the difficulty of locating men who had been molested as children, the sample size is relatively sma11. This is a common problem in qualitative studies of child semial abuse. However, in small- scale, in-depth studies, what a researcher trades off in generalizability is frequently gained in validity. It was this more comprehensive understanding that wa5 sought in this project. ~inall~,the f indings of this research-are limited in that the data were collected at one point in tirne. 1 likened the interviews to the experience of jumping on and off a moving train. There was no definitive beginning or end. The men in my sample al1 continually process the abuse and their responses to it, but 1 was only able to capture their perceptions at one particular moment. It is this moment, however, which offers insight into the role that masculinity plays in shaping their understandings of and reactions to sexual victimization.
This chapter has linked the methodological with the procedural. Critical social research and feminist ways of knowing provide the guideposts which allow me to expose and explore the intricacies of the dialectical relationship between masculinity and child sema1 victimization. Specifically, these approaches ta inquiry are essential to this study in that they are grounded in the structural, ideological, and discursive elements which create and reinforce social standards regarding gender and victim appropriateness, while concealing and marginalizing alternatives. Furthemore, critical/feminist perspectives foster a research environment amenable to questioning "taken-for-grantedsIf about gender .and abuse. These methodological orientations laid the groundwork and set the tone for the questions that were asked and the manner in which the data were collected and analyzed.
97 .. - - ~hischaljter has also described the process of locating and interviewing men who were sexually abused as children and adolescents. These 17 interviews serve as the primary analytical
focus for this dissertation in that they represent the first-hand accounts of the various ways gender expectations shape perceptions of abuse, and how victimization influences masculine identities and practices . The seven interviews with therapists supplement the voices of the male survivors. The data collected from the social service providers are incorporated to gauge the extent to which the concerns and needs of males who have been abused are reflected in the knowledge therapists have gleaned from counselling this population. The following chapters will describe and analyze the data accumulated during these interviews. Chapter Five provides descriptive data of the respective samples. Chapter Six presents the research findings on the content thernes which emerged from the data: doing rnasculinity and dealing with abuse in the contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure, and survival. Finally, Chapter Seven will analyze the data in light of the theoretical frameworks discussed in Chapters Two and Three. - -- - Chapter Five
Biographical Portraits: The Men and their Expariences of Abuse
The purpose of this research is to expose the ways socially privileged masculine expectations influence how males encounter, conceal, disclose, and endure experiences of sexual molestation in childhood and adolescence. Chapters Two, Three and Four laid the theoretical and methodological foundations from whichthis research objective was formulated and examined. More specif ically , they divulged the potential for hegemonic understandings of masculinity to shape how male survivors make sense of their victimization. This chapter and Chapter Six are based on the data gathered from
the interviews with the 17 men who were sexually abused and the seven counselling professionals. Specifically, this chapter highlights descriptive information about these male survivors and the selected therapists who provide services to this population. Moreover, it describes salient aspects of the abuse these men experienced in their youth.
Sample Demographics : Male Survivors
Seventeen men completed the in-depth interview for this study. The demographic attributes of these men are summerized in Table
5.1. They ranged in age from 26 to 50 with a mean age of 35.8 years. Eleven of these participants were under the age of 40 years at the time of the interview. Fourteen of the men were caucasian and identified themselves as being of ~ritish/European, Canadian or American heritage. The remaining three participants recognized their ethnic background as Native, Ekitish/Native, and Filipino, respectively. The question eliciting the participantsr sexual orientation turned out to be the most confounding item of the demographic questionnaire, Many of the men paused or initially skipped over this question. One participant changed his response after a period of pondering and four others, either in writing or verbally, questioned whether they could make such an either/or determination. Upon completion of the questionnaire, eight of the respondents had identified themselves as heterosexual, three as gay, two as bisexual and four as uncertain. However, even those men who described themselves as exclusively heterosexual or homosexual recounted sexual experiences with both sexes and expressed uncertainty about their sexual orientation during the interview. This confusion is best depicted in the following interview excerpts :
1 love women, uh, I still do, I think about them always. Ifve been with men, you know? I guess I bisexual . I donft really enjoy men. (02, p. 1)
As it happens 1 have had, um, heterosexual and bisexual experiences and, um, Ifm pretty sure Ifm heterosexual for the most part [lauqhs] ...I used to think, well because I maxxied her and have a baby, that I am, but 7, um, I'm fairly sure I am, (05, p.10)
1, I donft know what my sexuality is. Um, i have tried it, you know, tried everything. (07, p -3)
Sexual preference became a fear. I was afraid to be straight, I was afraid that I might be gay.. . . But not knowing what you -- - - . - -- - are is scary and like I said, 1 know what I am or I know what Pmnot. I know that Ifm not a gay man and I also know that I never wanted to be touched by another man in a sexual way.. . . Yet, there was a part of me that wanted it, that it didn't matter if it was a man, you know? And it's still, I mean there are some things that 1 am still trying to figure out with that. I'm not complete in saying this is my sexuality. I mean, let me reverse that. I may be complete in saying this is my sexuality, but I'm not complete in feeling comfortable with being with a woman and even that is a play on my consciousness . It 's like alriyht, you 're not a homosemal. You know you 're not bisexual. You are heterosexual. I am, ifm heterosexual. (10, p.14)
The marital status of the male survivors who took part in this research is reflective of their difficulties regarding sexual orientation. As will be discussed in Chapter Six, problems establishing and maintaining intimate relationships were identified
by almost al1 of the men interviewed. The majority (10) of the them have never been married. Three of the participants were in a marriage or other long-term, committed relationship, one of which is a gay couple. The remainder of the sample were either separated (3) or divorced (1). The educational background of the participants did not provide any indication for the likelihood of abuse. Of the 14 men who had graduated from secondary school , only six completed college, university or technical school and from that cohort, two went on to receive a graduate or professional degree. Although their educational attainments were higher than the nom, the majority (11) of the male survivors earned less than $20,000 annually. Although there were two men who earned more than
$40,000 per year, most of the respondents subsisted on the lower level of the income scale. ~ull-timeand part-time employmentwere held by six and four of the participants, respectively, The remaining seven interviewees were currently unemployed for a variety of factors (for example, disability, imprisoned, seasonal worker) . Table 5.1
Male survivor demoaraphic characteristics
Mean 35.8 yrs.; Range = 26 to 50 British/European; Canadian; American British/Native Nat ive Filipino Sexual Orlentation Heterosexual Uncertain Gay Bisemial
Marital Status Never married Married/Gay couple Separated Divorced Educat ion Completed secondary school Somecollege/univexsity/tech. school Completed college/university Completed graduate school Full-time Part-tirne Disability Imprisoned Unernployed, no explanation Unemployed, seasonal
Income Under 10,000 10,000 - 19,999 20,000 - 29,999 30,000 - 39,999 40,000 - 49,999 Over 50,000 Characteristics of the abuse exueriences The purpose of this section is to depict relevant attributes of the sexual abuse experienced by the men in this study. In particular, 1 highlight the age of onset of abuse, the location and
size of the community in which it occurred, number of incidents, and characteristics of the abuser(s). The majority of the men in this sample knew exactly how old they were when the abuse began. Some of them associated this time in their lives with the release of a specific Song, enrollment in a particular grade at school, or another identifier that helped them to recall their age. only one of the participants had no idea how old he was when he was first molested. For those male survivors who did remember, their ages at the onset of the abuse ranged from 2.5 to 13.5 years.l The mean age of onçet for those participants was 7 years. Although the family composition often changed after the first
incident of molestation, nearly two-thirds of al1 the participants were living in homes with their biological mothers and fathers when the abuse began. The remaining third were residing in a step- parent family (3), foster care (2), or a female-headed single parent family (1). The abuse of the men in this research primarily occurred in provinces or states outside of British Columbia. Eight were
1. Several of the men stated that they were either one age or another when the abuse began (for example, either six or seven years old). In these instances 1 averaged the two estimates for the purpose of comparing their ages with those of the other respondents. - .- - - - victimized in Ontario, cornpared to the four who were abused in B. C. The remaining five survivors were molested in Alberta, Manitoba, New York, New Mexico and the Philippines, respectively . Within these locations, most of the men (9) described the community where
they resided at the onset of the abuse as a city. Three characterized this place as a city/town, three as a town, and two as a rural locale,
A slim majority (9) of the sample were victimized by a single perpetrator, with eight having multiple abusers. No participants, however, reported being molested by more than one offender in a single incident. Only one participant recalled being molested on a single occasion. The remainder of the men (16) were sexually assaulted more than once. As depicted in Table 5.2, a single abuse incident was rare with only one incident involving a lone offender and no occurrences in the category of multiple offenders. For the
most part, male survivors who were victimized on more than one occasion were evenly distributed between those who had a single abuser and those who had multiple perpetrators,
Table 5.2 Cross-tabulation of number of incidents bv number of abusers
NUMBER OF ABUSERS Single ~ultipïe Row Marginals
Single 1 (6%) 0 (0%) 1 (6%) INCIDENTS Multiple 8 (47%) 8 (47%) 16 (94%)
Column Marginals 9 (53%) 8 (47%) 17 (100%)
104 consistent with the current male child sexual abuse
literature, almost al1 of the men (16) who volunteered for this research were victimized by other males. As depicted in Table 5.3, twelve were abused exclusively by males, one only by a female and four were molested by both males and fernales. According to the information provided by the participants, sexual abuse by male and female offenders occurred in separate incidences and most often at different stages of the male survivors' lives. This breakdown is significant as it demonstrates that female perpetration most often occurred in cases where there was more than one offender, at least one of whom was male. Those respondents who were at some time abused by a male, however, were evenly distributed between those who had a single and multiple offender(s).
Table 5.3
Cross-tabulation of sex by number of abusers
NUMBER OF ABUSERS Single Multiple Row Marginals
Male 8 (47%) 4 (24%) 12 (71%) SEX Female 1 (6%) O (0%) 1 (6%)
Male & Female 0 (0%) 4 (24%) 4 (24%)
Column ~arginals 9 (53%) 8 (47%) 17 (100%)
Table 5.4 portrays the position and relationship of the perpetrators éo the men who had been abused. Because almost half of the men 1 interviewed reported having been abused by more than
105 - .- -- - . - .. - one offender, the categories of assailants are numerous and variable.- They shared their experiences of molestation by family and non-farnily members alike, often not discriminating between the two categories of offenders in terms of the pain and betrayal they had inflicted. The largest proportion of men (7) were abused by a
non-familial adult authority figure, four of which were
priests/Christian brothers. Five of the male survivors were abused by a parent or step-parent and five by a brother or step-brother. Offences by a family friend/acquaintance comprised five of the incidents of abuse reported. Only two of the men identified a stranger as their assailant.
Sample Demographics: Service Providers
Although 1 spoke with 14 social service providers regarding their experiences of working with male survivors since the inception of this research, only seven of those professionals
agreed to be audiotaped. It is these taped interviews which will provide a sense of what therapists perceive to be the needs of adult males who were molested during their youth. Although the background information gathered on this population was minimal, a few items of biographical data may be useful in contextualizing their comments. Table 5.4 Relationshi~between participant and Offender*
Perpetrator Number of Participants Reporting Abuse by this Category of Offender
Father Step-father Mother Brother Step-brother
Grandfather Grandmother Uncle
Authority Figure** Male Female
Peer Male Female
Family Friend/Acquaintance 5 Male 4 Female I Stranger Male * Because there were multiple offenders in several cases, the percentages will not total 100. ** The category authority figure included those male survivors who were abused by a priest/Christian brother (4), nun (i), fire f ighter (1), and f emale group home parent (1). Al1 seven of the therapists whose interviews 1 recorded were caucasian males. Their experience working with male survivorç was variable. Based on their descriptions of the contact they had and
the services they provided to male survivors, 1 categorized the extent to which this population formed their client-base: frequently, occasionally, or rarely. Three of the therapists could best be depicted as frequently counselling male survivors, three as occasionally, and one as rarely.
The context in which these counsellors provided therapy also varied. Four rendered services to male survivors from within an organization. Two of the professionals counselled within a family services agency, one worked in a program for males who had been sexually abused, and the final therapist was employed in a drug and alcohol clinic. The remaining three service providers counselled males who had been sexually abused as children as part of their private practice.
Summary
This chapter is compacted with relevant biographical data on the male survivors and therapists who participated in this project. Although some of the material presented here will be elaborated in
Chapter Six, the purpose of the above discussion has been to provide the reader with some necessary background information about the participants and their experiences. Moreover, it provides a springboard of knowledge upon which to embark on a focused .. . - -- - - exploration of the relationship between sexual victimization and gendered expectations and practices. From the data presented in this chapter, 1 have shown that the male survivors who spoke with me were primarily white heterosexuals with an average age of 36 years. The majority of these men had never been married and had some university/college education. A slight majority of these participants were employed on a full or part-time basis, yet almost half of al1 of the respondents earned less than $10,000 per year on average. With regard to their experiences of abuse, most respondents had first been victimized while residing with both biological parents in a city in a province or state outside of B.C. Almost al1 of the men had been abused on more than one occasion with equal numbers being victimized by a single and multiple of fender (s) . Al1 of the participants, except one, had been molested by another male. Of those men who were sexually offended by a fernale, the majority were also abused at some time by a male. The relationship of the offender to the participant was most frequently one of an authority figure (for example, religious leaders). A slight majority of the perpetrators were not family members. Of those men abused within their families, parents and brothers were equally likely to be identified as the victimizers. Abuse by a stranger was reported by only two of the participants. The sample of seven therapists was exclusively male. Alrnost al1 of these professionals counselled male survivors on either a frequent or occasional basis . They were slightly more likely to be -.-- - working in an agency context than in a private practice environment, The aim of Chapter Six is to employ the accurnulated data- more fully examine the interrelationship of gender and abuse. In
particular, 1 will examine how hegemonic understandings of masculinity influence the context in which these men were abused, concealed the experience, told someone else, and currently cope as
survivors, These four contexts, then, will serve as Che foci within which the role of genàer is evaluated, -
Chapter Six
Coping in a Gendered World: ~asculinityand Victimization
One of the hallmarks of the critical masculinities literature is a recognition of the variable ways men interpret and practice masculinity. Unfortunately, social research too often assumes hegemonic gender constructions to be the nom and either fails to look for or pathologizes alternative/contradictory identities. In light of the complexity of gender, this chapter focuses on the malleability of masculinity in the situation of coping with childhood molestation. Following Chapter Five's overview of the male survivors who participated in this research, this chapter presents their accounts in four segmented contexts: abuse, silence, disclosure, and survival. Each of these contexts serve as a microcosm in which to examine the dialec-tic between gender and victimization. In particular, this chapter illuminates how male survivorsf perceptions and practices of masculinity affect the way they deal with childhood sexual abuse and how the abuse, in turn, (re)f oms their understandings and enactments of gender . Where applicable, the insights of the solicited counselling professionals will be integrated as they variously confirm and contradict the accounts of the male survivors.
The Context of Abuse
~his section examines the environment in which the -- - - - participants were living at the onset of the abuse - the people, places, perceptions and practices which were recalled as preceding the abuse. Many of the men spent a significant amount of time describing what was going on in their lives when they were
victimized. Their depictions centred around thxee themes: isolation, family relations, and expectations. These topics, then, underscore the process of engendering in the lives of men who were sexually victimized in childhood and how their engagement with masculinity shaped how they defined and coped with the abuse.
Isolation Nearly al1 of the male survivors with whom I spoke recounted being socially and/or physically isolated during their youth. For some of them this lack of connection with others resulted Erom frequently moving from location to location. When asked how many
homes they lived in between ages of one and 18 years, the majority
of the 17 total participants (10) recalled living in five or more dif ferent dwellings. Only two men stayed in the same house for the first 17 years of their lives. Recurrent relocation was often cited as contributing to the loneliness many of these men felt as children.
Between the ages of five years old and six and one half, I was somewhere in the neighbourhood of 30 foster homes. I keep saying 32, but I think it's 30. (04. p.3)
We moved around an awful lot so I never really had a sense of community or a sense of friendship that lasted more than a year or two. And I never really had a sense of belonging. After like the fourth time wefd moved into a new community I gave up and I realized I'm not going to be here very long so I'm not going to make any new friends. (15, p.5) . - -. - -- - * We did move around a lot. I had a funny feeling it had something to do with him (father) not working and not paying the rent and oh my goodness, we must have moved once a year from about age five to about age eleven. (01, p. 2 7) I was born in Burnaby, then 1 lived in (inaudible) . ..I started school at age five in Langley. We had a farm then. Then we lived in a house with just a yard and stuff like that in Langley . ,.And then we moved to Abbotsford . We were there about two and one half years and that/s when I was ten. (11, P-17)
Coupled with the social detachment many of the participants experienced from moving so often from place to place, was their isolation from peers and non-f amily members. At times this separation was the result of where they were living (for example in the country). In other instances the home environment was not amenable to having friends over or cultivating relationships outside of the family.
We lived in the country and were not driven to sporting events, extracurricular activities, friends, nothing . We were just sort of secluded in the country. (OS, p.4)
As children we werenft really allowed out of the house or out of the yard. My mother was very overpxotective . (08, p. 4) I remember we lived out in the country. Well, back then it was called the country. About five miles that separated us. .. . We didn t play as kids . (09, p. 9) We were very strictly brought up. We had to be diligent about doing our homework. School and study came first . Uh, (long pause) you canrt walk outside a certain block till you get to a certain age . (14, p. 4) I didn't like bringing friends into my home. My mom was so uptight . She was really a wild card She could be just great and she could be a nightmare. (16, p.4) Al1 but two of the men were residing in a home with at least one biological parent at the onset of the abuse. Not surprisingly, their relationships with their caregivers were a central focus when they recounted the abuse. Generally, the men spent a good deal of time lamenting the infrequent, volatile or distant contact they had with their fathers. As a rule, fathers were depicted as being only narginally involved in their sons' lives. Their mernories are punctuated with their fathers' infidelities, anger, and physical and emotional absence.
Dad was always at a distance from us. I think dad honestly did not know how to parent us. Uh, well he didn't have a father either. He left the farm when he was like 13. So, 1 mean he had absolutely no instruction in that area and 1 think he was overwhelmed with it.. . . But, uh, even though he was there he was at such a distance from us emotionally. (01, p-17) I never really saw my dad very much when I was younger and we never had any, really any special times together. . . .I used to get the strap al1 the tirne. He was very angry al1 the time. He worked a lot.. . (05, p.6) My dad was 44 when I was born.. .he was shut in his room my whole childhood.. .I only focused on why my dad didn't want me. I never thought about, uh, that my dad was just old and it wasnrt about me. It was about him going throuqh his own shit.. .I was looking for a dad. (07, p.1) My father was a longshoreman.. .always worked a lot, drank a lot and he would never corne on vacation with us. He would sleep with other women. Um, we cauyht him once when we went on vacation and came home. (12, p. 17)
~e didntt get along. I think basically we are, we are two persons with dif ferent personali ties. We are not compatible . In some ways sometimes, he would do things that I would not like. Most of the times 1 hate him for that.. . . He had a mistress, another woman, and he got a child from her. And we were so poor. How could he have gambling and another woman? The role the mother played in the homes of these male survivors was most often depicted as that of an overworked and dissatisf ied housewif e, too busy ta meet her sonrs needs . Although the mothers were most often the primary caregivers, they were frequently portrayed as being preoccupied with household responsibilities and marital unhappiness. It was not unusual for some of the men to describe themselves as struggling to make their mothers happy. As a rule, however, the participants painted their mothers as being unavailable or unable to protect them from or help them deal with the abuse.
He (dad) went to (another city) and worked there for a number of years and would only come home on the weekends. But through al1 that time (my brother) and I really did become mom's emotional, uh, spouse. A lot of times she would ask if we would just come and lay down on the bed with her. I mean, nothing ever happened there, but it was juçt, just to lay there. She had sornebody near her. So in that sense, yeah we were there to meet her emotional needs. (01, p.16)
My mom often blamed me for things that I didn 't do, uh, was quite often angry at me. Uh, I just remember her often being quite angry and, uh, not punishing me. Aïways getting my father to punish me.. .it went between that and me being the hero because I coufd fix things or do things that my sisters couldn't and she couldn't. (OS, p.5) My mom had to, she had a lot going on.. . . She was, well a secretary for my father's business and weL1, essentially, his slave. She had meals prepared for him whenever he came home.. .She took care of the family and sort of the business for my father. (08, p.2,4)
My mom didn 't pay any attention to me whatsoever. I feel that she thought this is my third kid, I've already raised two, this kid's gonna grow up on his own because Pd rather watch soap operas. That sort of thing. I always felt like she was never there. (10, p.il) She was virtually on medication as long as 1 can remember. Very depressed, very unhappy, quite violent. . . . My mother went through a really suicida1 phase where she was like manic and, uh, I spent a lot of time at home.. . . I had quite a bit of responsibility for my brothers, a lot. And my mom was, uh, I was very frightened that she was gonna die and I did a lot of work that was to make sure she didn't die. Cleaniny around the house and trying to make her happy. (16, p.3)
Overwhelmingly, the men who participated in this research referred to either one or both of their parents as being alcoholic. From their accounts, it appeared as if the abuse of alcohol served to both fuel parental anger with each other and their children and pacify their feelings of unhappiness. Alcohol was also identified as a significant factor in the fatherfs unemployment and poor relationship between the parents and between parent and child.
Father was a major alcoholic.. . . He had lost one of his jobs in town due to his drinking. (01, p. 12)
X know my dad worked for the township and drank al1 his 1ife . . .I don t remember my mom drinkin ' too much. I don 't remember that, but my cousin says, "oh yeah, she was a hard drinker.I1 (02, p.20)
I mean alcohol abuse was there . . ,Dad was an alcoholic. I mean he spent his entire life in the bar. (09, p. 7)
My family was not the caring, loving family. Alcoholics, they were, so there was a lot of chaos. (11, p.5)
The majority of the men characterized their parents0 relationships as unhappy, often exemplified by explosive arguments, physical and verbal abuse and noncommunicativeness. In some instances, parental disagreements and grievances were aired in a
116 surreptitious fashion. Generally , however , the men recounted more overt battles between their parents. Not surprisingly, with the amount of alcohol abuse going on in the home, watching their fathers beat their mothers was a frequent occurrence in the early 1 ives of these male survivors .
Dad used to treat mom really bad. He used to hit her and she would always Say like, "why do you do this to mef1? And he 'd Say, ffwellbecause I love you. ".. . . Whenever he (dad) used to be arguing with mom, he used to Say some pretty derogatory things . .. . you know for some parts of the female anatomy . (01, p. 14,21)
My parents were pretty much at each otherfs throats when I was a kid. I think, I mean 1 know that they loved each other at one time, but it was gone. so regardless of the abuse, I didn t see good relations. (07, p.13)
My father, yeah, he would always be beating my mother up and she would be out drinkin' at her friends. And it was just a lot of drinkin' and a lot of drunken beating up. My father wouldn't want us helpin' my mother when he was beatinf her so thatfs why he would lock us up. (11, p.18)
One night my mom got slammed against the refrigerator by my dad, decided that was enough and went after him with a knife. He took the knife away and slugged her one. Um, we ended up, al1 of us kids, sittin' huddled under blankets in the front yard while the [police] questioned my dad. (13, p.5)
My parents were the type of people, let's not ever, ever show the kids our problems. Put on a happy face. .. . I mean we saw them like bicker and be mad at each other, but we 'd only just see them be mad at each other. We'd never hear the fights, we'd never see them fight.. . . So it was a total shock to us when they called us down one morning and said to us that dad was moving out. (15, p. 5)
Gender expectations
Almost al1 of the male survivors recalled having certain responsibilities in their families because they were boys. It was - - not uriconuion-for their roles as males in their families to not be clearly defined except for conscript behaviourial expectations. Generally, it was understood and reinforced that boys donft cry, are athletic, and self-sufficient. Frequently, however, such requirements were identified by their lack, rather than their
presence, in the boysf conduct. In other words, many participants
recalled being reprimanded for not acting like a boy/man as the most likely avenue for teaching gender appropriate behaviour.
I was taught al2 this stuff about what being a male is. That I don't feel, that I don't talk about my feelings. (06, p. 1)
I remember my older brother when he came home and my mom and sister cried because they were happy and I cried. And I remember being told boys don't cry.. .I had to' be a brave little soldier. (07, p.9)
My father started callin' me a fairy when I was three and then at five he started gettiny my brothers and sister, well not getting, but it caught on to them. Then I was a fairy and I was, they wanted me to do sports and I didnft dare cry too much and this stuff. I waç a momma~sboy and, you know, that wasn't very well looked upon. (11, p.18) When I went to live with my dad. ..he was on welfare and, uh, not doinq very well . He was living in a really horrible place. The first niqht I was there I tripped over a rip in the linoleum and just about covered him from head to toe in spaghetti. Uh, and he raised his hand to me and I started crying, you know? I just like, and at that point I knew that I had completely disappointed my father. That instead of being a manly boy who never cried unless really, really hurt, you know, then suddenly I was cowering at just a raised hand and bursting into tears . (13, p-3) The perfect male child, what the perfect male child does, uh, I did a good job of it. I mean I basically turned myself into a zombie, 1 didnft have emotions . If I did I wasn 't about to admit them. I believed it, you know the work hard and get educated ethic. Play sports, take care of your sister. Don t steal, don't lie, don't cheat. (14, p.8) - -- .- . ------1 mean I was expected to take care of myself when I was seven and eight. (17, p.9)
Interestingly, it was not uncommon for contradictory expectations
to be placed upon them in different settings. For instance, while
the young boy may be required to be passive and obedient in the home, such qualities were often admonished by the father or other family figure when enacted among peers. Moreover, qualities that were less associated with rnasculinity in adulthood, were frequently required of these participants in their youth. For instance,
several of the men recounted having to care for their younger siblings.
You might feel invulnerable, create some kind of power thing over other people around me. At the same time I was forced to be subservient. To cornplete anything anyone told me. 1 had to be able to do bath at different times. (06, pl)
I didn t have a happy childhood because of me being the eldest in the family. Most of my childhood was spent takinq care of my younger brothers. . . . At a very young age, my fatherfs working somewhere and my motherfs workiny, so I ended up sometimes alone in the house and I had to look after them when they /re age about, even one year or nine months .. .I didn t have time to play or be friends with my peers. So I had no idea what it is to be a boy, what it is to be a man, you know? (12, P-7)
At the same tirne there was this amazing sort of injunction of obeying his (fatherfs) will and if he didnft know what he wanted from me, then it got very confusing. Which is to Say, stand up for yourself except around me. Uh, he would beat me if I let the neighbourhood kids shove me around and I did, he would beat me for not standing up to them. (14, p.3)
Oh very cornpetitive, very strong (how he was expected to interact with his brothers) . I was the smallest one in my family and they were al1 huge . . . . It was quite violent at times.. . . I spent a lot of time nurturing my two younger brothers. I spent a lot of time at home with them, taking tare of them, looking after them. (16, p. 4)
Along with the frequent absences of their fathers from their lives, it was not uncommon for the participants to have identified with or assimilated the masculine identities of another person. At times they modelled their behaviours after an older brother or male f amily friend. In one instance, a male survivort s mother served as the masculine exemplar in the family. On some occasions, the men described these idolç as attempts to find a father figure in their lives. In several cases, these models of masculinity reinforced aggression and domination over women, along with athletic aptitude and stoicism.
He (older brother) taught me how to be tough and mean. He was a bodybuilder and he had a click of bros. Young girls over there, he used to gang bang 'em. Yeah, and it was just hey do you want dope and party and booze. (02, p. 23)
Motorcycles and gangs. Power, power and control. I idolized motorcycle gangs, Hel1's Angels . (04, p. 24) I took up with this kid and he was the toughest in the school. And, uh, he thought I had fairly qood potential to be a good fighter. So he began me on a, a training program. He taught me how to kick the shit out of just about anybody, no matter how big they were. In fact he çtarted me off with small guys and then worked me up. (13, p. 6) Primarily raised by my mother, yeah . Though, interesting enough, the models that she used were very male-like. She was very strong, she was very smart, she was very angry and her manifestation of anger was very male-like. . .My father in a lot of ways wasnft a really strong male, though he was quite successful . (16, p. 3) - - . . - -. - - Context of Silence
Once the sexual abuse had begun, the painful and lengthy process of silence waç initiated. Although some of the male survivors acknowledged vaguely recognizing that the sexual assault was "wrongnl from the outset, others recalled assuming that the molestation was just a continuation of the abuse they had experienced at home or from peers. Generally, the participants referred to having no Erame of reference to assist in naming or dealing with this type of experience.
I just assumed it would be considered two boys playing. (03, P-2) I guess at the time because I had nothing to compare it to, I didn t know. I didn 't know that it was wrong. I didn t know that it was going Co affect me for the rest of my life. (05, P* 10) Um, I think, yeah, I waç aware that what was happening wasnft supposed to be happening, but as far as my ability to do anything about it goes, really I didnft feel that I had any ability to do anything about it. (08, p. 4)
I was trying to work it out in my own head. I had no idea, no way to figure out what had happened, what was happening in my life. I had no point of reference at ail. (15, p.7) Itfs kind of outside that referencing of what experience is supposed to be. Kind of like, I We never heard anything about éhis . Ifve never read anything about this, I've never actually heard anybody talk to me about it, I'd never seen it. (16, p.5)
However , despite the isolation and ernotional tumoil they encountered as a result of the victimization, disclosing to someone was depicted as a more problematic option.
12 1 This section explores the contexts in which the participants concealed their experiences of abuse. Based on the information provided, this topic is divided into three focal areas: rationale for concealment, coping strategies, and consequences.
Rationale for concealment Although the men differed in how they initially defined the abuse, they unanimously recalled knowing that it would not have been advisable to tell someone about the event(s). At times, they internalized the experience. For instance, they felt the abuse would be perceived as their fault. In other cases, characteristics of the offender were identified as a reason for not disclosing. Frequently, the participantsf rationales for concealment harboured masculinist overtones. Many of the male survivors associated their silence with the concern that they were in some way responsible for the abuse. Explicit in many of their accounts was the notion that there was something I9wrongtgwith them. The power of this self-blame was particularly evident in those instances where a participant highlighted the number of years it took him to tell someone about the victimization.
I wouldn't tell anybody because I had too much shame and embarrassment, humiliation, degrading, feeling shitty and dirty and feeling humiliated. And it was just too yucky too gross, It wasnrt what normal people, the people I hung around with (voice trails off). (04, p-22) I didn't want to see myself as a victim. Uh, I think that was a big thing in keeping me quiet. Like I did want to be that strongperson. (07, p.13)
The worst thing about it has been, 30 years and you canrt ever really tell anybody because, itfslike, hell nothin0 happened and even if it did maybe you wanted it or it was just some stupid kid thing. (09, p.3) .. .being male means you are stronger. You can handle it, you donft cry, you don't show emotion. Itfs stupid. Therefore, nobody knows it. You just keep it in there (points to his chest) (12, p. 6)
I think it was just, um, I would Say probably that there was something wrong with me. You know, there might be some homophobia in there, as well. Uh, therets something wrong with me and it really didn't happen.. . . It took me 18 years (to talk about the abuse). ..and at that time, I even trivialized it then. (16, p- 6)
Two of the men went so far as to rnake sense of their repeated victimization by describing it as their job -- a task or duty that they were chosen to fulfil.
Everyonets raised a certain way. Someone's gotta take this route, 1 guess. Someone's gotta do this job. That's the way I can look at this. 1 was the chosen one, I had to do this. I look at it sometimes that way. Well, it was a job given to me and 1 had to do i t . I had to do i t al1 the time. (02, P-24) That was just my job. Um, that's what I did, that was expected of me. I donft know.. . . I couldnft fight it no more. It was there, it was a job. It was my duty kind of thing. (11, p.20)
The second factor the participants identified as inhibiting them from disclosing the molestation was their fear of the abuser.
At times this fear was the result of overt actions by the offender.
In other cases, it was generated by allusions to future consequences in which they would bear the brunt of the blame. - --. - When I was younger, I think what kept me silent was fear.. . for instance, my brother would severely abuse me, um, on a previous evening and the next morning my brothers and father would be sitting around the table having breakfast before they went off to work. And my brother would Say something like, "go get me the milk.I1 And I would be angry with him and refuse to get the milk and my father would then beat me up essentially for not complying with his request. (08, p.4)
When 1 was 14.. .my stepdad (abuser) found a letter that I was in the process of writinq to my dad, my real dad, .. .outlining the abuse, physical and sexual.. . . And he (stepfather) actually arranged for the neighbourhood bully to know exactly where I was al1 the time. Like hegd send me to the store and cal1 the bully and Say, "he's on his way back from the store. If He got 20 bucks when he beat me up. (13, p.2) .. .he was huqe, big, huge, fat, six-foot ta11 man . I was a little four-foot ta11 kid.. . . He was, he was never violent with me. Um, but he was always warning me not to tell anybody, otherwise we fd both get in real trouble. (15, p. 8)
I felt helpless. I used to have this, their (stepsiblingst) grandmother made them these really heavy quilts, just beautiful quilts, and he (abusing stepbrother) used to take it and smothek me in it. I -was just deathly afraid of it, if I wouldn't do what he wanted. Just deathly afraid of it. (17, P-4)
The thought of not being believed or being blamed upon disclosure further inhibited several of the respondents. In these cases, the experiences of girls who had been sexually abused was occasionally evoked for the purpose of illustrating the potential trauma of disclosing.
I think what bothered me more was the fear of being undermined. That someone would deny it or where someone would Say, "oh you were just two boys playinq, just think of those poor girls that are raped constantly by their fathers. '< (03,
Uh, for a girl, well there was rape, but then you see what can happen to her being a victim. It was like, whoa, you're not gonna tell anybody you 've had something weird, cause look what --.------happened to her. What's gonna happen to you? Well, just, I mean if that's the way they treated a girl, whatfs gonna happen to you and you /re a man? (09, p. 21)
That, uh, I knew what I was doing, that I had this attraction to men and that I was gay and that I was different and I thought that it was my fault because this was in me. I was drawing it out in the priest (the abuser) and I was corrupting him.. .So I thought people would see that if I ever brought it out. Theyfd see, oh he's just a young Iittle fag and he was corrupting the priest so why would we believe him? (15, p.8)
Damaae control: Copina with the memories of abuse
Al1 of the men with whom 1 spoke struggled through the years of silence by relying on a variety of coping strategies. In some instances, their goal was to numb their emotions and du11 their mernories of the abuse through the use of alcohol and other drugs. Isolation, the coping mechanism of choice within many of the
families, was another tactic the survivors employed to ensure that their secret remained known only to themselves and the offender(s) . A final category of coping behaviour is what 1 identify as rnasculinity damage control. Due to the contradiction the participants experienced between gender expectations and victimization, many of them engaged in actions prior to disclosing the abuse that could be considered as exaggerated or cornplicit masculine posturings.
A majority (10) of the survivors recounted long-term abuse of alcohol and other drugs. Many directly related their use to the need to allay the painful mernories of being sexually victimized. It was not uncommon for the drug use to begin in adolescence and continue into adulthood. . ..I had really gotten into the drug use pretty heavy. Started experimenting with that. Really started dealing it a lot from 17, 18, 19, 20, really badly into it.. .one year I can remember I was stoned everyday except for, I think it was like three or four days of the year. (01, p. 15) I spent so much time lying to people, uh, in fear of them finding out who I am or where I came from or what I was as a child. I carried so much pain and so much shame inside me, uh, that alcohol and drugs were the only two things that could do anything for me. (04, p. 12)
1 mean Ifve done drugs since I was, I started using drugs and alcohol, 1 mean I sold my first joint at eight years old. But 1 wasn 't a regular user until I was about 12, 11, 12. . . . 1 thought that 's the way people lived. People drank till they got obliviated, people used drugs, that was the way to deal with things. 1 did not know that, you know, 1 didn't allow myself to feel anything. It was not allowed. (11, p.9) I forgot it (the abuse) for 15 years. . .I mean if it wasn't for the LSD and peyote and mushrooms and hash and everything else that Pve done, um, and 1 never became a junkie because when 1 did junk I remembered. (23, p. 11)
Social isolation was a second method of coping that helped many of these survivors ensure no one would find out about their past victimization. Once again, the lack of interpersonal relations was, for most respondents, a continuation of the physical and emotional seperation they endured in their f amilies.
Generally, this defense mechanism was not unique given that the majority of the respondents were cut off from interpersonal relations. Even those men who acknowledged wanting ta have close friends felt that the abuse impeded such familiarity. This lack of social connectedness, then, reinforced their silence -- there was no one to whom they felt close enough to disclose the abuse.
Um, just not feeling like I measured up, I was any good,
12 6 .------anybody would want to get to know me and even if they did get to know me, man they must see right through me, that I had this encounter with another man kinda thing. And it ,s like, the best way to make sure no one knows this is donft make any relationships, so to speak or keep everyone at a distance to the point where they don't know you md you don't know yourself . (01, p. 24) Hey, if I could have jumped on a rocket and landed on the moon with enough food to get by, I'd been happy to go there. 1 would have felt the best there, I feel the best when Ifm isolated and away from everybody. Doing lengthy peric<:i ef time in segregation, in the hole (solitary confinement), with nothin' but a blanket and a pillow and complete silence. 1 didn 't care if the light bulb was on 24 hours a day, that's where 1 felt the safest. (04, p-24) I used to have this terrible desire to be alone,. . . 1 mean I used to go on family vacations and sit in the car and I'd cover my head up with a pillow just so that I wouldntt hear them, I wouldn 't see them, 1 wouldn 't know them, that sort of thing. I needed that because I was dying. (20, p.11) I never had any friends until, like I got some friends in the last two years of high school. I started to make some friends, but no one really close. Never anyone close.. .no one ever really that I could tell anything. 1 never told anybody about any of this stuff because that wasn't that close of friends, obviously . There was always that distance. (11, P 19) I went from being this really innocent, qentle kid, really innocent, shy, gentle kid to being really cynical and paranoid, isolated, um, dirty. . . . I had no friends. I had no relationships. My mom, who was my closest relationship, she was driftinq off with her own pain about the end of her marriage. My dad was out of the house. My brother was dealing with his own pain about the break-up. So I had nathing, nothing at all. (15, p. 7)
A final category into which the participants' coping behaviours fell was rnasculinity damage control, In describing their years of silence, it was not uncommon for the men to refer to engaging in certain activities which could be subdivided into exaggerated and complicit masculinity. 1 use the term exaggerated - - 7- -- masculinity to characterize the practices of those men which reflected their need to dernonstrate power and control when their silence left them feeling powerless. In these instances, masculinity was associated with visible aggression, anger, bravery -- acts which separated the llmenllfrom the boys and the girls. For some of these men, such bold feats served as testimony to their virility at a tirne when they felt their manhood was questioned.
I robbed and stuff and, you know, did everything. I was involved in everything you could ever think of. You know, anywhere from like organized crime right to, uh, anywhere. Murler to, you know, drugs, robberies, bank robberies, the whole deal, you know I been in it.. . . It's almost like 1 gotta be touqh. Like I 've done some really fuckin ' crazy shit in my life. You know, I got shot in the legs with a fuckinf Uzi submachine gun and 1 pulled the bullets out myself and it was like Ifm a man for doin' that. (02, p.2, 15)
You know, I got involved with motorcycle gangs. The way they treated their women, uh, get me a beer, shine my bike. .. lay down beside your dish, biech. I used to think that was humorous. Thatts what was taught when 1 was 17 years old when I qot involved with gangs. They were the teachers of how you treat women .. . . I mean I built fast bikes and I walked high steel, I lived on the razor edge al1 my life and when I ainrt doin' that Irm hangin' out with gangs, motorcycle gangs, (04, p.14, 19)
Playing football, that was something 1 did to prove I was a man. I don't know if it was because 1 was semally abused, maybe it was. Maybe that was in the back of my rnind, but I saw it as something to prove 1 was a man because I was a crossdresser and I had to prove that to myself . You know.. . with racing cars that, did that, rode bulls. I did al1 that crap.. . . But I did that and that was in my mind, I was doinf that to prove I was a man. To prove it to these guys that I hung with. Taking stupid chances, you know? 1 couldfve gotten killed. It was stupid, but that was something I did. (17, P. 8)
Those menfs accounts which ernphasized playing the role of a - - - - -* - -- %ormaltl male were grouped under the category of cornplicit masculinity. In these cases, participants referred to outwardly meeting the requirements of a "go~d~~husband, father, and son in order to conceal their inadequacy because of the abuse. This image was often constructed through strong academic performance, marriage, professional attainments, and community work.
For al1 intents and purposes 1, on the surface, looked like I had a normal life. (07, p.12) I was really basically, uh, I mean I had lire down so pat and so pathetically sick that I fooled everybody. I mean I was in that relationship (marriage) for ten years. I had a fairly good job, not the best, eh, but it was a good position. Oh, I was the perfect alcoholic. . .I had the perfect marriage, I had a home, I had a good job in the local hotel. You know, I raised her kid from, he was about five years old till seventeen. I was fulfilling whatever, I donft know, what I was supposed to be doing. Which I didnft know what the hell I was doing either, but thatrs what a husband did so hey. (09, P* 12)
I did things to look perfect. 1, you know I would try to do, I did volunteer work. At 13 I was written up in. .. (a) major. . .newspaper. I was written up there, picture and story for the volunteer work I was doing. I was trying to become the perfect person and have people Say Irm good and look for some sort of acceptance and praise. So that, you know because I was such a bad person. I was always bad. I mean I learned how to become a perfectionist. How to achieve perfection and don 't let any, not allow any darkness . Never let anything bad be known. (11, p.22)
Well, 1 tried to be perfect. I tried to do everything that I possibly could to be perfect, right? And not attract negative attention so that I wouldn /t get beaten. (14, p. 7) I would certainly do things outside that would demonstrate that I was okay. I was really academically motivated and anything I did I had to be the best at which was a very consuming task. But, you know, if I did something I just didnft do it, I did it! (16, p.8) ------Livins with silence Living with and concealing the mernories of the abuse had a number of ef fects on the persona1 lives of the participants, Their accounts detailed a desire to detach thernselves from their biological sex, a tendency toward revictimization, the lack of intimacy in their lives, and sexuality confusion-
A few of the male survivors recalled a period after the abuse
when they wished they no longer had a penis. The male sex organ
was singled out as a cause of the confusion and responsibility they
felt for the abuse. In addition, imagining being a girl was
comforting to two of the participants as young boys.
At times I had thought that, oh I wish I could just rip my own (laugh) parts off. It was like, how could this, why has this thing to do this kind of stuff. (01, p.20) The part of my escape from that horror was to pretend inside sometimes that I was a girl and then no bad stuff would happen to me if I was a girl. (06, p.12) I can remember a period where, shortly after the abuse stopped, standing in front of the mirror and wiçhinq that I was a woman because I thought that somehow what happened would have been alright if I was a woman, I mean a girl. I mean I realize that it wouldn't have been alright if I was a girl that age, but it was not about the age thing. It was about the gender. Um, so I mean I think I even prayed that çomehow they made a mistake and I had, you know, female organs. Somehow, I mean you go through al1 these contortions to make it okay for the person to do what they did to you. . . (07, p. 4) .
Many of the men told of having engaged in prostitution in the years following the abuse and before disclosure. Looking back, several of them interpreted this behaviour as reliving the abuse - the only way they knew how to be sexual. Moreover, it was not
130 unusual for a participant to construe these incidents as situations in which he was in control. -
There were situations where. .. it started off innocently enough, but I got a ride home one night from work and, uh, I realized I was getting a ride right where al1 the hookers, the male prostitutes were. And, you know, so I let somebody give me a blow job in their car which is what my first experience was with my abuser. Anci so this became a familiar pattern for me. (07,p.6) . . .as sick as it sounds, 1 used it (sex with an older man) to my advantage because what are these people gonna do? Like whether it was my older brother (first abuser) or one of the guys back there. . . 'cause he (the older man) was a bank manager and I thought 1% qonna go and rip this guy for a loan, with no intentions of paying it back and whatfs he gonna do. Hers not gonna report it because he's gonna be afraid that Ifm gonna Say something about him. So, I mean that 's how sick it gets. You turn everything and you play, I don 't know, a sick game really because I used it against my brother instead of confronting them as to the situation. Instead, I used things to get stuff. (09, p.4) I've prostituted myself. I've worked the streets.. . . Um, I had a full-time, but worked the streets to keep my drug habit up.. .. And that, in the beqinninq, was a sense of control. I had control 'cause here again were these older men, it was always older men. Uh, I had al1 of a sudden something they wanted and I could manipulate them, but it didn t end up that way. It was like, I felt, I thought this was perfect. I 'm in control. If they want me, they have to pay. I cal1 the shots . But it wasn't that way. They continued to rule me. (11, p.=)
So I spent the rest of that time, from 14 on, living in the streets. I became a hustler.... I just reversed the situation. Instead of, uh, having to do things for other men, like my stepfather (abuser), 1 turned the whole thing around so that they had to pay me, you know? (13, p.3)
As the participants entered late adolescence and early adulthood, sexuality became an increasing problem. Some of them recounted having a multitude of casual sex partners, while others described difficulty having any sexual relations.
Um, trying to have relationships with girlfriends was always a fear for me because if I try to get too close to them theyfre gonna see scars and burns on my leg and theyfre not gonna want a person like me that's al1 used up and I must be queer or something because these priests done al1 these bad things to me and stuff. That was my fear of them findinq out who I was and where 1 came from. That was fear number one. Fear number two, kissin ' and holdin ' hands, touchin, ' gettin ' anywhere close to a girl nauseates the shit out of me. (04, P-6) For a long time, 1 guess this relates, um, I refused to get involved, to get intimate with anyone, uh, for years. If anyone got close to me, I was just gone. (08, p.6)
I mean Ifve gone for about ten years with no (sexual) experience. I mean I don't want to tally up the years since I've had contact with another human. Uh, but it was definitely the time leaJiiig up to the therapy. (07, p.3)
I had a gay friend. Almost every night we'd go out from eleven ofclock in the evening sometimes to three ofclock in the morning. You know, going with the boys, having sex. I think that makes me forget what happened to me because it relieves the pain. (12, p. 10)
As far as I go, from the time I was 14 until now, 1 have had over 100 girlfriends, uh, I 've had over 300 sexual encounters. (13, P.14) I never thought I was sexual at all. Some people are asexual and I was one of them . Sex felt weird . You know it took a long time to have a sexual relationship with anybody and it didn't last long. (14, p.9)
As a rule, the male survivors 1 spoke with recalled being aware that heterosexual relations and marriage symbolized manhood. However , this expectation was problematic for many of them given their difficulties with intimacy and sexuality confusion.
I came out here to change my life. I wanted to change my life. I was still livin* and in between I was hopefully trying to pick up a woman to prove that I was a man and making sure that there wasn't a man picking me up anymore.. . . I didn't know if1 was supposed to be with a woman or a man, but society said a woman so I got married. (09, p.15)
I had the synagogue booked and this lady that, uh, who 1 was going to be married to. I picked her sister up from the airport one day. She had just flown in from another country and I picked her up to drive her home. And I remember turning to her and 1 asked her, point blank, "am 1 a man, yet?". And she said, lfwell of course you are, you 're getting married. " And I said, "yeah, 1 know I'm getting married, but am I a man?", I don't know. (10, p.7) There was al1 this stereotypical bullshit that lived and breathed al1 the time. You know, the dominant male, the breadwinner of the family. It was expected that you were heterosexual. You grew up, get married, have kids and raise them the same way that yoWd been raised and to believe basically the same things. (14, p.5) [Question: So being heterosexual was very much a part of being a man?] Oh, absolutely. Very much. My family would not take the news very well if 1 was homosexual. They would certainly have a reaction to that. The whole homophobic, well just the whole sexualized belief that what men are supposed to be like and how it was different for me in my experience of being abused by a man.... It probably exacerbated the whole traumatic experience significantly because there was just the trauma of the experience, but there was also, I kind of retraumatized myself given how I had been raised and what I was supposed to be. (16, p. 9)
Although some of the men werenft cornfortable sharing details of their intimate relationships, of the 12 who did, eight had had consensual sexual expewiences with both males and females in their adult lives.
Service professionals' insishts
Referring to the hesitancy of males to disclose abuse, insights of the seven therapists who participated in this research . -- -- echoed many of the factors identified by the survivors. Specifically, their conunents centred around the incongruence between being a llmanlland being a victim, the guilt they experienced, and the tendency toward hypermasculinity as a coping mechanism. Service providers noted the role of masculine attributes as invalidating the men's experiences of their childhood abuse. Professionals tended to highlight and reinforce the gender dichotomy when depicting the difficulty men have in recognizing and talking about sexual victimization in childhood.
As a rule, men have been, although it /s changing, more resistant to asking for help, in seeing themselves as victims. Where women are more comfortable with the victim role, with asking for help, than men. (T02, p. 1) Females will open up much more readily, admit it, they'll deal with it and you already have the fact that theyrre in touch with their feelings on your side. Men may not reveal a lot about the event so when they spi11 much out to the counsellor men wil2 stop, start missing appointments, cancel appointments. (T04, p.4) I think men feel more shame than women do, you know? There shouldnft be.. .but for men they are supposed to take care of themselves, it shouldn 't happen to them, I should have been able to handle it. You know, that whole line of crap. That's the basic issue. (T05, p.1)
A second issue that therapists viewed as hindering males £rom disclosing was guilt or humiliation. This reaction was seen as equally common in male- and female-perpetrated acts. Professionals found that boys who were abused by other males were often fearful of being labelled gay. In those cases where a fernale was the - - offender, concerns that the experience would be trivialized were
depicted by the therapists. Moreover, the appearance or lack of
physical arousal was portrayed as further engraining feelings - of shame and blame.
.. .if theytve been abused by the same gender then theyfre thinking, "oh my god, I got aroused I must be homosexual ." And itfs interesting because men ehat have been abused by a woman can go through the same thing. "What's wrong with me, I didnft like it and it was a woman and 1 should like this and I didnft so geez, I must be gay." It doesn t matter whether shefs your aunt and shets 20 years older. (TOI, p.8) That 's why a lot of the men don t corne forward. Especially if they were abused by men, they were afraid of being identified as gay.. . . If the abuse was with a woman, then therets the whole thing about, Nwell you must have enjoyed it, %ren 't you lucky, I wish that had happened to me.« (T02, p.2)
So if youfre a 13 year old boy and you're molested by a guy, you know, then you tell your uncle or somebody. You know, the immediate response is, llwell, he must be a fag,« you know, "let's go beat him up. " Vh, so yeaho and males of al1 ages really do believe in some way the act 1s what determines their sexuality. (T10, p.5)
Finally, three of the service providers referred to the
propensity of victimized males to engage in exaggerated forms of
masculinity prior to disclosure. One therapist in particular recounted his experience of counselling young boys who were much
more willing to discuss their victimizing than being victimized.
1 have had guys who are ostensibly referred to me as male survivors or in some cases theyfve been referred as both survivors and offenders and this applies to teenage boys too, who would be much more willing to talk to me about being offenders than they have about being victims. Like a 14 year old boy, for example, is more willing to Say, "yeah I dia this with a six year old boy or girl I was babysitting. " But, you -. - - .. . -. . -. .- kind of ask, "what was it that happened to you"? and they shut down, they donrt want to be seen as victims. And you know, even to be an offender is to identify with the masculine principle . (Tl0, p. 5) They were frepently abusive of people in their relationships. That might be physical abuse if they were attempting to assert their masculinity by knocking their partners around or it may be that any kind of closeness that occurred in the relationship would be met with a distancinq. (TH, p. 1)
Context of Disclosure
Concealing their childhood victimization(s) took its toll on the personal and professional lives of al1 the participants. The resulting drug and alcoholproblems, relationship difficulties, and overwhelming feelings of shame later became the catalysts for many of the survivors to talk about the abuse. The process of naming and sharing the molestation proved to be both empowering and revictimizing. While most of the men reported feeling a huge sense of relief upon breaking their silence, other men found that the reactions of those to whom they disclosed often reinforced their guilt and sharne. This section exposes the two stages of disclosure. First, the impetus to tell someone is addresçed. The second stage highlights the individual(s) or agency which the participants spoke with about the incident(s) and the reactions they received upon divulging their secret.
The catalvsts Although some of the men recognized that what happened to them
136 ------was very wrong and harmful, others werenrt sure how to define or discuss the experience. Feeling the "need to do sornethingm was a very common motivation expressed by the men who sought professional
help. Often they felt their lives (for example, persona1 relationships and jobs) were falling apart, or they couldn't explain lingering unhappiness or anger. It was often in the process of trying to rectify these surface problems that they found themselves talking about the abuse.
Alcohol was a problem. So I ended up goiny to, how it started out is I went to the hospital back there, they had counselling that was covered by the hospital . So I got in with this lady and we would week by week, you know, once a week and she would ask me why I couldn't show up without having a few drinks. Then, about the third session, we got more into about my past life. Things started to corne up.. . . I wasn't really, I wasnft there for help for the alcohol abuse or to try and really Save my marriage. 1 was really there because I had been sexually abused as a kid and my whole life was screwed up. (09, p.2) I guess I just figured that it was about time I did something about it. My mom died back in '89, she'd never known that my stepfather had abused me and I felt really guilty about that. (13, p-1) .. .I graduated university and I realized that I had to deal with the real world. I couldn't, uh, just hide in a class somewhere and do my work on my own and actually had to get out and be a productive member of society, try to earn my own living, and 1 kind of panicked.. . . You have to have a really good understanding of yourself if you're gonna be a good teacher and not screw up any of your kids. So 1 decided I better get into therapy for real and deal with rny sema1 abuse /cause that was the one thing that I had a really clear memory of, the abuse. (15, p. 1)
Some things werentt working in my life. Um, I was unhappy in some aspects in my life. There was kind of a theme of unhappiness inside that I would kind of dissociate from whenever I could. I'd keep a lid on, but it was stilf there and I knew it was there. No matter what I did it didn't go away. (16, p.1) . - -. - -.-- - - Witnessing the disclosure of another survivor and discussions child sexual abuse in the media were further triggers identified some of the participants. Although they remembered the abusive incident(s), it often took public unveilings of victimization for some of the survivors to name and verbalize their experience(s).
So movies, then the talkshows and then they got talking a little about abuse and a little about the topic child sexual abuse and thatCswhere I started to pick up on this a little bit more and then a littfe bit in literature starts to come in. Yeah, okay? And I have to minimize it too, it was like I really, almost, well almost to the point of actually denying what 1 had experienced. Was that really abuse? You know? And 1, that wasnft until I was probably, oh goodness, 29, 30. (01, P.23)
Well it actually happened when I was living in Vancouver. And when 1, Ifm a Roman Catholic priest and as part of my training I attended a sema1 abuse seminar.. . . I went to this seminar as a professional. Then I started crying, that's when it started coming out. (03, p. 1) 1 went out on this date with, uh, this lady who told me that she was a survivor and out of nowhere the words came out of my mouth, Ifm a survivor too. And it just completely changed my world overnight . (10, p.1) It was jolted by a conversation I was having actually, uh, with a couple of women who are survivors. One of them was a survivor of ritual abuse, as well . There was something she said, I can't remember what it was, but I was just finally ready to hear it or something clicked and I found myself, ended up having a weeping fit for reasons that 1 wasnft entirely sure of later on that night, although I suspected.
The first time I ever heard anyone talk about it was on Donahue, like 10 years ago and that was amazing for me, to hear somebody talk about it. And that was just sexual abuse, in general. They weren't talkinf about males, they were talkinf about females, but 1, uh, I understood and I heard myself being discussed for the first time in the media and it took me awhile before I heard the word sexual abuse until I realized that it actually applied to me. (15, p.3) A final factor which helped several of the men break their silence about the abuse was the fear or knowledge that their off enders were still victimizing children. For one survivor, a concern that the abuser might reoffend was coupled with apprehension about his own risk for molesting.
.. .what happened was my youngest sister came to me and said, '*look, these things have been happening to meu and I was just overwhelmed by, overwhelmed and feeling guilty because I hadnrt done anything sooner. I really had no idea that he (abusinq brother) had continued. (08, p. 4) . . .I heard him (abuser) speak of his grandsons and of other children in the neighbourhood. Saying things, you know, saying that they were doing things to him. Sexual things to him. I mean at eight years old, and 11 and 15? ...... ad then I came home and I was watching the news and al1 of the sudden this news program came on and they had this thing saying that information has it that abuseds become abusers and 1, you know, 1 got terrified. I thought, oh my god, if this happens to me. It scared me terribly.. . . You know, I have to do something and I thought these poor boys who are now suffering. You know, his grandsons who he takes away each sumer. . .I don t want them to suffer al1 these years, you know, of hell if they can be helped now. (11, p.3)
But, uh, I think 1 needed to, uh, take care of the fact that he was a deacon in the Baptist Church teaching Sunday school . And if he is a paedophile, I didnft want anyone else to have to put up with this. (13, p.9)
Comins out When they were ready to share their stories of abuse, the participants turned to a nurnber of different outlets. Family members, police officers, spouses/partners, and crisis line or victim services workers were among those selected to hear their accounts. The criminal justice system and partners/family members
139 .- . .. - - were rnost often turned to in the process of disclosure. Sharing their experienceç of abuse, however, was-only half of the battle. For al1 of the men, the reactions of those to whom they disclosed significantly affected how they felt about themselves and whether or not they would reveal their secret to anyone else. Several of the participants spoke directly about telling a
family member or partner about being molested. Although there were only two men who told their partners, their reactions were depicted as positive and supportive.
Uh, it was (my wife) and that was only about three years ago. Um, three or four years ago. Wefve been married about çeven and one half years and it was always there, always there. When will I tell her? What will I say? How will she reçpond, you know?...... she hugged me and, um, she said she understood, you know, and she just accepted me for, you know, who I was.. . . 1 donft think 1 could have told anyone else. 1 think I needed to know that there was a strong relationship there too. Uh, that it wasn't gonna corne back on me. (01, P-22)
Seven of the men spoke of telling a parent or sibling about
the abuse. The reactions they received from family members tended
to oscillate between anger toward themselves and the offender and dismissal or disbelief.
I told my mother and sister a few years ago. . .. She (sister) got angry and wanted to know who the abuser was. But my mother said, "oh him, well at least it was someone you knew." (03, P-2) I /d always known what had happened ..but her (sister) response was just "oh gross," like she didnrt want to talk about it and she certainly didn 't She's only five years older than me, but, and you know, it had no, it effectively shut me up aqain. (07, P-2) .. .it has only been in the last few years I guess where I really started to face and deal with it (abuse). I guess my oldest sister, I approached her on it and the attitude that 1 got, and Ifve never talked to her since anyway, uh, was basically, "oh thank god he (abuçing brother) did it to you and not my kids, " and that was the end of the conversation . (09, P. 1) It was only after 1 brought it up that my mother said that she had been sexually abused by her father and two brothers and that my father said that he was sexually abused. Ml in the same night and they al1 said, "but it hasn 't aff ected me. . . .II My dad said, "unless your brother penetrated you anally, it was not sexual abuse (10, p. 8)
Eight of the participants filed a report with the police regarding the sexual offence. Although the power of the criminal justice system to respond to their cornplaint appeared promising, only two of the men identified their experiences with the criminal justice system as positive. In one instance, the officer had a substantial amount of corroborating evidence against the accused and, in the other case, the officer was fernale-
. .. I can remember leaving the police station and walking down the hi11 and on the one hand, I was elated. You know, they were great from the start, the police. Xe (officer) was fantastic. Like, first of all, the guy (officer)was younger than me, Pmsure and he was fantastic. Like instantly I felt believed. He never made me feel like I was, you know there was anything wrong with me, nothing. (07, p. 8) I got a woman (officer). So she wasnft a macho asshole and she was very understanding. She said that she had a friend that had gone through it...they knew what to do for a woman. You know, a womanfs been raped, therers a whole rape kit. Therefs the whole counselling approach and everything. Um, that 's taken care of, but for men there is nothing. (13, p. 9)
The majority of respondents who involved the criminal justice ------system in their disclosure gave very negative feedback on their experience. The extent of their involvement varied with some not going beyond filing a police report, while others' cases went to trial and were heard by the Victim Comp.ensation Board. They referred to criminal justice practitioners downplaying and challenging the abuse. Moreover, several of the men mentioned the tendency of the investigating off icers to focus on their sexual orientation.
And I told them (Victim Compensation Board) that when we were in the back she started fondlin' me and that we had sex. Well, she had sex, I guess. You know I was 15 and 1 didn't even like girls. Uh, and then he (compensation board member) was like, okay, right on. I guess he's supposed to be like this I guess. He's like, "okay what 's next" ? .. .I felt pretty dirty after that happened. .. . Say I vas a little girl, right? And that was a man. I think it would be a little different. (02, p.15) . .I phoned the police. . .and they, essentially, blew me off. You know, they said, "wefl that's years ago and why are you calling us about it nowM? ., , they were sa responsive to a female caller (younger sister who was al50 abused by the brother) , but not as responsive when I caïïed. And, uh, when the policeman did arrive to take Our impact statements, he went on ad nauseam about homosexuality.. . . Throughout the trial the prosecutor, the Crown attorney, sugqested that yes, I had gone through a lot, but not nearly as much as my sisters, like they really went through hell+..he was kind of saying, <'look, youfre a guy, you've got a life, you've got a job, why is it a big deal for you, just get on with your life. But his attitude toward my sisters was very different. You know, he was coming to their rescue. Um, vigilante kind of attitude. (08, p.6)
He (police officer) talked down to me like I was dumb and just that, that I was no good. I had a feeling, that, you know because perhaps, you know because he knew 1 was gay and you know, maybe that had, I'm sure that was part of the main reason. (21, p. 5)
The interactions I had with the police officer, he wasn *t necessarily insensitive, but he wasn 't supportive, either . . .. -- -2- - He wasn 't wanting to be a champion fox me or anything like that and he did ask me, this is something that annoyed me, he asked me what my motives were for pursuing this. And 1 didn't understand the question. Why do you ask a rape victim what his motives are for pursuing a case? (15, p. 17)
Other organizations the male survivors turned to were Victim Services and crisis lines, Generally, their evaluations of these options were more positive than the police and family responses. However, a few of the men lamented the fact these services often had little knowledge about or experience in dealing with men who had been sexually victimized in childhood.
I called a sexual assault centre. Fortunately, qot through to one of them who was understanding towards me as a male.. . .. The woman just didn't quite, thought I was, you know, they heard a male voice and seemed to think that I was calling to harass them or something. So, um, I got through to a very helpful woman who told me there was a thing called Victim Services, Great! Gave me the address, I got a hold of them. I talked to someone there. They were somewhat helpful and they told me of the stuff that was available.. . . (06, p.4) I contacted Victim Services and, I mean they were very, Victim Services, the person I spoke to was very supportive, but as far as knowing what I should do or who I should be talking to, uh, she wasn't really helpful. Therers also, I donrt know if it still exists, but there was a sexual assault centre in Edmonton and 1 contacted them to see if they had any legal information or they could tell me what to do. And their attitude was essentially, if you were a man, you were an offender. (08, p.9) ,. .I phoned to the Children's Helpline . That Zenith 1234, whatever. Um, they said to, you know, and I got information because I didn't know what to do either. I mean it was a long time ago. 1 mean he told me some stuff, but I mean what do I do? I didnrt know what I should do. So they said I should go and make a police report and so I did. (Il, p.3) Professionalsr points of view Service professionals elaborated on some of the struggles men - face when they embark on disclosure. Overall, the therapists found it difficult to get men to talk unimpeded about the abuse in therapy and even harder to keep them from becoming a wno-showtt after disclosure.
Like they got to a certain point in their work and they just got scared and have left. (T05, p.3)
Generally, male survivors were portrayed as being likely to seek counselling for an issue other than the abuse.
. . .within the last two to three years at the most, I 've seen men cominq forward saying, "1 was sexually abused, I want to work on this." But before that, it was only coming out secondarily. They were coming in for relationship problems, for drug and alcohol problems, for legal problems and then what would emerge was that they had been victims. (T02, p.2) And frequently the men, their initial introduction to therapy in general, has been a substance issue or has been, as I suggested earlier, a partner abuse issue. And once some of that has been dealt with, they are then ready to address this issue as well . (TH, p. 7)
A few of the counsellors also referred to the criminal justice system as an ineffective route for many male survivors. Reinforcing some of the experiences raised by survivors, therapists were critical of the handling by police and prosecutors of complaints made by victimized males. ------What happens is they go to the detective, they tell their story, they tell it in detail and then it gets shifted off to a prosecutor and thatfs where the system oflen breaks down- (T02, P-5) Itfs very intimidating because it takes a lot for a guy to walk into a police station and Say, "well I was sexually abused when I was 14 years old and so I would like to file a report." Some police are quite well trained, but a lot aren't. So you get men going in there and they get this sort of adversarial stuff like, tlwhy didnft you come in when you were 14"? Uh, you know, therefs kind of a macho, homophobic sort of attitude that a lot of police officers adopt and they get into this, "well you got a cornplaint, prove it, make the cornplaint good ...." So yeah, the police frequently scare people off. (T10, p.4)
The Context of survival
When we met during the interview, the participants were in various stages of accepting themselves as survivors of child sexual
abuse and as "men." Al1 of the respondents acknowledged wanting to
get on with their lives, but remained variably hindered by the abuse and its aftermath. Even though they found disclosure a generally positive experience, many of the men still struggled to hold down jobs and hold ont0 intimate relationships.
Because of what happened, my sexuality is completely buried, I have come to terms with it and I donft see the priesthood as an escape But the interesting thing is that celibacy has not been a problem. (03, p.3)
Try holdinf hands with me and Ifll just go like that (pulls his hand away) . Try hugginf me, 1/11 just turn to steel. So what Ifm trying to Say here is that because of the abuse that went back so far, that 1 am having a real sexuality problem. (04, P.9) I havenrt been able to work for the last nine months. Ifve been on disability, anti-depressants . .. . (08, p .6) Pm28 and that relationçhip with him (abuser) is the longest, most enduring one that I've ever had which is like, really, really frustrating for me. (15, p.14)
As they spoke about themselves in the present, three themes emerged. First, almost al1 of the respondents addressed the extent to which they found the tems tfvictimluand %urvivorfl applicable to their experience and useful. Second, the men depicted the variable ways in which they engaged in masculinity. Finally, recommendations were made regarding how the needs of men who were sexually abused can best be met.
~ictimor survivor: The utility of labels Al1 of the participants had opinions about the utility of the terms llvictimuand l~survivor.ffMost of the men were familiar with these labels through the media and self-help books and commented on whether either concept was reflective of their experience(s). As a rule, they found the notion of survivorship to be more useful than the word victim, but many of the respondents expressed a desire to move beyond survival and labels generally.
The reticence to associate themselves with the term qlvictimfl was particularly evident among some of the participants. In these instances, the association of this label with the qualities of being weak and lacking agency were among the reasons for shunning its use.
I think it soundç very defeated. There's a defeatism that's there . .. it 's very confining, shows absolutely no hope, shows 146 . - - . - -. - - the person that there is absolutely no opportunity for growth, for change.. .. 1 would just Say to whoever else I have shared this with, I was sexually abused, period. You know? Again, I think victim is, I mean you feel bad enough as it is. - (01, P-26) Victim seems so weak and I don8t know, that people will walk ail over you . It just seems such a word that people can, that you 're totally powerless ,. .if you 're a victim, you 're weak and everything . (11, p. 25) 1 can 't stand the word victim. Pmon a pilgrimage to destroy it. Um, when you cal1 somebody a victim, you're denying their agency. . . . It 's a nice way of actually sort of ascribing blame without being seen to do it or herefs the code word for somebody that can be picked on. (14, p. 11)
I know I wasn't responsible, but I don't, I very rarely think of myself as a victim.. . . I don't like the word victim. . .. Victim has a weaker context to it. (16, p.10)
There were two men who identified themselves as victims and found the concept useful. In particular, they found the word victim to more accurately represent their experience as boys and better able to capture what actually happened.
. . .I guess I identify myself more as a victim and that may corne from my family's denial and not being validated for what I had experienced.. .and with the term survivor is very often - an invalidation: so non you donft have to deal with it anymore, you survived it, get on with your life. (08, p.12) I've heard about the debate and I know that a lot of victims feel better with the word survivor because it implies that they're moving on and theyrre growing and they're healing. But, um, the experience is, is not simply survivorship. It fs an absolute, total victimization and I think it more accurately represents what happens to a boy. (15, p.19)
The concept of survivor was viewed as a more applicable and positive way to depict several of the participants' experiences of - .- - abuse .
I'm a survivor. I'm a survivor of what I've had to survive- in the same way that someone whose ship sank when they were crossing the Atlantic. (06, p.10)
Victim didn't apply. Victim didn't ring true until survivor dido Survivor came first.. -. Itfs another notch in the self- esteem belt (chuckle) . (10, p.16) I did survive. I'm sitting here right now. I haven't killed myself, yet I've come close. I haven't killed anybody else, yet. Things are horrible, but you know, I never thought I would get this far. (14, p.12)
I prefer the word survivor. I survived my childhood. I survived my family . I survived the experience . (16, p. 10)
The notion of surviving also proved to be problematic for a few of the men. In some instances, they had difficulty perceiving themselves as a survivor because of its connotations of being strong and complete. For Iwo other men, the label survivor was too limiting and stifling in its own way. They pondered whether one should always remain a survivor,
I take it one step further and Say that I'm a success. I'm not, you know I'm not just a survivor from it. I survived the day after and the day after that and the day after that. But, I realize too I will always have that with me. What I'm hoping to do with that stuff is to be able to draw on it at times to help others, okay? So that takes me way beyond survivor. (01, p.26)
Somebody called me a fellow survivor and I realized that I reaily cantt use that. I donft know ifI'm a survivor yet and that scares me. . .. Like I don 't think of suicide as something bad or frightening. I've always thought of suicide as a relief, almost a friend. Like if things got really bad I know I could do it ..At remains an option. (07, p.12)
I survived, you know? Thatfs okay, everythingfs fine. I sunrived it, no big deal, but then the word survivor sounds so big, so heroic, I don't know, strong and stuff. (11, p.25) But I don 't want to be a survivor of everything. I want ta be able to go and kick his (abuser's) ass and I cantt do that so I don't want to be left holdinf the baq, you know? (17, p-8)
Beina a man: contradictions, conflict and chanse
A significant challenge for many of the participants was trying to describe what it currently meant for them to be man. Generally, the messages about masculinity that were espoused and modelled throughout their youth and much of their adult lives were depicted as unattainable or unbearable images. Emphases on marriage, children, a well-paying job, physical toughness, and emotional detachment did not reflect the day-to-day realities Tor most of the respondents. These contradictions between masculine expectations and realities were evident during the interview, For instance, a few of the men showed me their scars from fist or gun fights or espoused their mechanical or business acumen soon after becoming emotional while describing the abuse. These tensions were further revealed when some of the men recounted various life events.
Ifm a heartless guy, in one sense. But when it comes to women, it's like, I don't know, Ifm a pussy, I guess that's what they cal1 it. You know, like I guess a woman corrld control me a lot easier.. . . To cuddle up. Just for me to put my head in a womanfs lap would mean a big thing to me., .. . . .if I felt anyone was even like barkinf or yellinf at a girl Ifd like, Ifd be like, Ifd jump right in there and, you want to do that, you want to feel a little taste of me buddy? That /s what it means for me to be a man, I guess. Ifve had a gun to my head a few times and it was like, pull the trigger bud, you ain't yot the balls. (02, p.16) ------If anything good came out of what happened is that it made me so compassionate so that, I mean I might crack women jokes or Say 'different things, but I ,ve known women and Ifve helped women who We been abused. (09, p. 18)
Ifm a martial artist, I could have easily beat the two guys up and I didn't raise a finger. I didn t even bother to protect myself. (13, p.1)
Other men spoke directly about the incongruence they felt between socially espoused masculine expectations and their
experiences of gendered life.
Well I think about how 1 feel to be a man and what that means and 1 do feel abnormal sometimes. I think what becomes normal for most men is hard for me because I have to work at it and that makes me angry. It makes me very angry. (03, p. 10)
As guys wefre supposed to be successful and be the providers and be confident and get out there and earn a living and be a go-getter and Ifve never had that sense of self, uh, to be that. But, I judge myself very harshly too. Like I judge myself by societyfs standards. So Ifm always beatinq up on myself for not being successful, for not having a decent income. And, so Itm always measuring myself by societyfs yardstick and I always come out really, really short. (15, P-22) We're socialized that women are gonna be abused and when they do get abused, well that fs not really a surprise. But that fs not the story for men. In fact itJsvery different.. . . I was a product of that socialization process myself. So on the one hand, Ifm trying to do some work over here (therapy) and on the other hand, another part of me is working diligently against that. So there are those two voices about what healinq should look like. (16, p.2)
Like right now I feel a lot of pressure, especially from my aunt and uncle who raised me, to go out and find a wife and kids. I don't know if Pl1 ever be doing that, you know? (17, POU
In an attempt to try to reconcile their understandings of what
150 ------it means to be a man and what it means to have been sexuâlly victimized, the majority of the participants distanced themselves
from stereotypical masculine images. Two of the survivors rejected qualities commonly associated with being a man, while another respondent voiced a qualified resistance toward certain masculine- identified traits.
You know that's something I feel guilty or bad being part of the male gender knowing that of al1 the rages and al1 the sexual harassrnent and a11 the offenders, al1 the abuse. I feel bad sometimes being a guy. (05, p.13) Just about any notion of masculinity is mostly, automatically so abusive or coercive to others that, uh, forget it, Ifm not interested. Where it has given me a bad time is now, having to, you know I am male and 1 was raised as one and I do have, you know I have that baggage and various conflicts over it. But 1 would just as soon not be male. I would rather fail any masculinity thing. (14, p. 8) I've never felt connected to this masculine archetype, never in my life, I feel like a third sex because emotionally Ifm more empathetic toward women and the woman /s experience. I can't Say that 1 can ever understand it, but Ifve never been, I don't have any agqression. 1 don 't have any, I think I have a testosterone deficiency or something because Ifm not aggressive or violent. (15. p.12)
Most of the participants, however, spoke of broadening notions of rnanliness as a way ta ease the tensions between expectations and realities, Generally, this process of redefining gender involved blending certain qualities that are socially characterized as gender-specific. Another respondent pondered the usefulness of distinctions based on gender.
Men are, this is gonna sound pretty weird, men are pretty much like women, You know they want to be accepted, they want to be loved. I want to be accepted. I want to be loved. I want to be respected. 1 want to be valued. 1 think thatfs what real men (laugh) want. I think they want people to give them the opportunity to do that without judgement. (Of, p.30)
I guess I donft know what masculine or feminine, I think I don ft make that distinction very much .. . . 1 mean the stereotypes for al1 genders are gone for now as far as I'm concerned, for me, Now I know most people think women Wear dresses and cook, maybe it 's changing for everybody. .-1 don 't know, I think whatever works, I mean al1 I'm trying to do is find something that works. (07, p. 15) . .men as a whole are very weak. As strong as men are perceived to be on the screen or in ads, the reality is theyfre abused. As strong as Schwarzenegger is, is the reality of just how weak men really are, most of them. And we need to somehow make it okay and understand that there is a woman inside of us. As it is for women to say that itfsokay that there's a man inside of us. There are a heck of a lot more similarities than there are differences . My feminine side is what is responsible for the emotions that I feel. I mean maybe it 's masculine too, but in today's terminology. I hope one day we get to the point where there's no more, you know? Where there's more similarities, there's no differences between men and women . . .except for the biological ones. (10, P.20)
Recommendations: Hel~inamale survivors in hindsisht
When asked how they felt the needs of young males who have been sexually abused could best be met, the participants primarily focused on three areas, First, the men expressed their concerns regarding the utility of the media as a tool to raise awareness. Second, they asserted the need for a more inclusive understanding of gender, Finally, they highlighted the significance of more expansive, affordable and inclusive services.
The majority of the p~rticipants at some point in the interview addressed the role of the media in informing the public about the sexual abuse of boys. The canadian film, "The Boys of . - . . - -. - - St. Vincent" was commented on by many of the survivors. Although its airing was generally favourably received, a few men had reservations about how accurately the film depicted abuse.
.. .there is not as much coverage on male sema2 abuse and 1 have to give the Canadians or society a lot of credit for that kind of a story - "The Boys of St. Vincent." That was so powerful, that film. There was still this, uh, eroticizinq of the male-male kind of experience. And where it is with women or the females having it done to them by a male perpetrator, uh, it is more like therers an innocence being damaged here. (01, P. 3) . . .you know I hear people talkin ' about beiny abused and stuff like that. ~ometimes I just go, fuck! "Boys of St. VincentM . . .if that 's the best excuse they can give as Brother ~avinof child abuse, then you may as well watch the Simpsons, there's more violence there. Give me ten Brother ~avinsfor ten years and I'd be the happiest man in the world. I can handle that, that woufd be nothin', that would be zilch. And Canada's al1 devastated about child abuse -- wake up and smell the coffee. (04, p.15)
For the most part the men were critical of the media's focus, in that it did not capture their own experience. One respondent was furious oves what he viewed as sanitized depictions of abuse on talkshows. Other men problematized the tendency of the media to focus on sensational cases such as institutionalized abuse and the cycle of abuse experienced by sex offenders.
1/21 tell ya, 1 wish I could get on the news and stuff. 1 see a11 this crap on this Shirley show. Get me on there, Pl1 give you a taste of medicine. . .. it ain 't nothin ' . Cause there wasn't a day in my life, since I was seven, eight, nine, ten right to this age, basically that I wasnft abused, my head smashed off walls, fucked in the ass, people cumin' al1 over your face and stickin, their dicks down your throat, the whole shot.. . . Anywhere from preachers, right to boys in the (group) home, right to perverts on the street when you're -- . hitchhikin ' and rumin ' away from group homes. .. to women, five different women, group home parents, group home kids, the whole lot. (02, p.5) Maybe Catholic schools, maybe that's, you know, what rea2ly maybe broke the ice to make some people realize that we're out there.. . . I mean let's face it, when you take a school that's being cared for by the Roman Catholics, itrs not just one person that was sexually abused. You 're lookin ' at, maybe anywhere from one to 20 kids in the school. So it stuns people very fast, but it goes away fast too. .. then the single person who's been abused, itfs like, well you know, maybe something happened to him, what the heck. (09, p.1) The only time I hear about it is when it's perpetrators who were çexually abused as children and then they'll talk about an offender who's been charged on T .V. or who is going throuqh the court process and then, as part of the defense, the defense says, "oh well, he was abused when he was a child. That's the only real time 1 hear it being acknowledged and that seems to make a connection in people's minds between sexual abuse and male offender. If they hear males and sexual abuse, people immediately assume offenders. They don 't think about kids. (15, p.4)
Dichotomized and mutually exclusive gender expectations were singled out as hindering disclosures, impeding awareness and obscuring the seriousness of male child sexual abuse. The importance of broadening the repertoire of actions and feelings that can be legitimately exhibited by males and females was emphasized by many of the men.
The whole thing of what it is to be male or female, those sorts of issues I think have to be examined a lot more deeply than they have been in the past, for a number of reasons. Um, I think a lot of where this cornes from is the socialization standards . If you 're a man, yourre this way and if you 're victimized, the only way to get power back is to victimize someone else, whatever. But I think society has to really re- examine their, the definitions and the meanings that are attributed to these concepts. (08, p.13) What we've been using so far as configurations of masculinity and femininity are ridiculously hobbled. Full of unnecessary compartments and ridiculous boundaries that don't need to exist and a whole lot of judgements that corne dom about passing or failing these notions. The fewer, the better. (14, P.13)
As a guy.. .I'm just supposed to muscle on through and I'm not allowed to be a victim healing from past trauma in the eyes of society. And people will look at me funny if I try and talk about it with a lot of antagonism. It just makes it even harder. Tt just makes me want to hide even more. (15, p.22)
Al1 of the participants identified services as a main area that needed to be more available, affordable and relevant to theexperiences of male survivors . The men found applicable services for male survivors were too few in number and too hard to find. The Vancouver Society for Male Survivoïs of Sexual Abuse
(VSMSSA) was often held up as a mode1 for what suitable services should look like, however, its lack of sufficient funding relative to womenrs programs and inaccessibility to men outside of the Lower Mainland were highlighted.
Well, there needs to be, on a practical level, there needs to be more places like this one (VSMSSA) making the acknowledgement that male children get raped. Nowhere near as often as female children get raped, but often enough. I mean how often is often enough before somebody powerful is williny to count it as an actual experience or something that needs to be addressed? How many raped people do you need who will go out and work it out on their own kids? . . . The freedom just to talk about it. I mean from person to person and in our social structures, no taboos, no censorçhip, no denial, no evasions. This place multiplied, multiplied and scattered everywhere. (14, P.13) Services and providing as much government funding for the services for men as there are for women. Um, this program (VSMSSA) is struggling to survive; it always has from day one. . .. And we 're not gonna stop that cycle of abuse of the system, abuse of public funds, abuse of the environment, abuse -- - - of others if we cantt go to the root and help the people who have been abused. Help guys that are being, that are still being hurt by what happened when they were young kids. (15, P.21) I think therapy is essential. I don't think you can do it by yourself. I would even venture to guess that it / s impossible. And then, on the other hand, itfshard to find a therapist and the good therapiçts are expensive. I paid a hundred bucks an hour. Now fortunately I had access to income to do that.. . . I think important services in the community are there for a woman and not there for a man and accessing those is more ciifficult . . .and that 's not to Say that their (men 's) experience is worse and often itFsnot. (16, p. 12)
Regarding existing services, the participants stressed the
need for professionals to be more aware of the fact that males are
sexually victimized and knowledgeable of issues relevant to this
population. As gatekeepers to additional programs and information, proper training of and information sharing among service providers were viewed as two of the keys to better serving male survivorsf needs .
Pd like to see more education in terms of the medical community, in terms of psychiatry, psychology, and doctors and practitioners. . .psychiatry is holding on in terms of medical funding and uh, medical coverage. Pm a survivor of abuse. 7 can go see a psychiatrist who will prescribe pills to keep me messed up till forever, no problem. I can't get therapeutic help that will help me resolve the emotional conflicts of the abuse, its effects on me. . .that 's like a big, big problem. (06, p.25) I think there must be more training with these people, front line people who provide services. Whether they be pc:iicemen or social workers or therapists. .. .I think those groups have to be a lot more integrated so that they are aware of what each other are doing so that people can be directed toward the services that they require. You know, policemen may not know that this place (VSMSSA) exists or a social worker may not know the implications of child abuse...I think more training needs to be done right across the board. (08, p.14) ------Even when 1 went to the police. I didnrt think anyone, you know, no one was believing me. No one believed me until the very end, So I mean and that 's now and 1'm a 3 0 year old man. - As a kid, whors gonna believe a kid to a man? (11, p.26)
Service ~roviders~pers~ectives
The input 1 received from counselling professionals who work with sexually victimized males was, for the most part, reflective of the recommendations outlined by the survivors. First, the role of the media was mentioned in three instances. Although they recognized the significance of television, radio, newspapers and magazines in rais ing awareness , therapists also reinforced some of the concerns about media depictions expressed by the survivors.
A lot more energy needs to be addressed as to who are male survivors of sexual abuse. The image that is currently entertained is males are perpetrated (against) in institutions. In boys' schools, in group homes, schools for the deaf, within the church, orphanages. Those are the stories in the media. Uh, there needs to be a recognition that males are sexually abused that are not in the newspapers. And why I believe that is important is without that identification men are isolated. (Tll, p. 9)
A second issue the service pro£essionals raised coincided with the importance of broadening conceptions of masculinity as outlined by many of the survivors. Several therapists emphasized that a movement toward expanding the range of attributes that are considered acceptable for males is not only imperative for men dealing with abuse, but is also necessary for general social recognition and validation. I thinlc that if wefre going to addrek this whole issue of abuse that we need to validate the right for al1 human beings to be emotional. (TOI, p. 3) But men are gonna take a long the to corne out of the woods and it's al1 tied up with masculinity and their perception of that. To admit that you have a problem decreases your masculinity. If you cry, express your emotions you 're not masculine.. .. That's how society looks at men and it doesn t work. (T04, p.5) .. .much of the work that I was doing with the men (survivors) was addressing the menCs apathy to define their masculinity and to be able to do so in a way where theyfre not needing to continually reassert it . (T11, p.3)
Finally, the professionals highlighted the paucity and inadequacies of the programs designed to serve victirnized males.
They were unified in their assertion that the needs of male survivors are not being met.
Well the focus now is on female survivors and women's equali ty. . .. You don t have a part of the goverment that devotes itself to male issues . (T04, p.2) No, male survivors' needs are not being met. The figures Ifve seen in the literature are one out of three women and one out of anywhere between four and ten males, uh, have been abused as children. . . . (He estimates in the city of Vancouver) ...thattherefs30,000malesurvivors. If itfsoneoutof ten.. .I'm carrying a full caseload and I can see about 20 . (T06, P-1)
A good portion of the gap in services for males was associated with the lack of training specific to men's needs and often reflected a bias against men as survivors of sexual abuse. In addition, two of the therapists complained that some services set up for male and fernale survivors continue to harbour and perpetuate misperceptions - - - . - - - - about who can be a victim and an offender.
.. .recently an organization which 1 wonft mention supported some training, uh, and they supported a particular person to do that training and that &rson said, tlwell, I willnot work with men." And so the men in this organization were denied training, even thouqh the organization was meant to be a survivor organization that had amongst its members males and females.... (TOI, p.3)
[Question: How often do you offer training at the Justice Institute?] Couple of times a year. [Question: And is it specifically for male survivors?] I just do a day on male survivors or sometimes I do two days. But, yeah, itfs a big program and the men only get one day out of about ten, still . (T02, P-8) When I started doing this work with an agency where the focus was sexual abuse survivors, I was asked (inaudible) that I wouldn 't sexually abuse female clients. And I know dam well that no female w&d ever be asked that they wouldn t sexually abuse either a male or a female client. I mean nor did they ask me that I wouldn [t sexually abuse a male client. (~11; P-8)
Summary
The overarching aim of this chapter is to provide a forum for the voices of male survivors to be heard. Comparable and clivergent themes which emerged from their accounts were categorized into four sections. The contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure and survival house their experiences and understandings about victirnization and masculinity and the confluence between the two.
The first section highlighted the environment in which the participants were Eirst victimized and began to make sense of the incident (s). The context in which the abuse occurred was often dspicted as one of isolation, where the father was frequently
159 -- . - .- - physically and emotionally absent and the mother unhappy and preoccupied. Many of the men recalled their fathers as physically and emotionally abusive, particularly toward their mothers, and often under the influence of alcohol. The period prior to and during the onset of molestation was also a time the participants remembered receiving messages about gender appropriateness. These expectations of stoicism, competitiveness, athleticism, and self- sufficiency were modelled by a variety of men in their lives (for example, fathers, brothers, uncles, priests, and peers) and on one occasion, a mother. ~enerally,this was a period where the men encountered a situation that was counter to everything they knew about gender acceptability in a space where they felt isolated, ignored, and confused, The context in which the participants rernained silent is also multi-dimensional. They attributed their concealment to three factors: self-blame, fear of the abuser, and concern that they would not be believed. Most of the men coped with the pain of remaining silent by dulling its effects with alcohol and other drugs . In addition, some of the survivors socially isolated themselves. During this time, they often attempted to shore up their sense of manhood either by engaging in exaggerated forms of masculine behaviour or by socially enacting a %ormal, " healthy masculinity. Regardless of the appearances they publicly sustained, the survivors individually struggled with sexuality and what it meant to be a man. The therapists who contributed to this research emphasized that men deal with abuse much differently from ------women and suffer from guilt and humiliation as a result of the abuse. Moreover, a few professionals also confirmed the tendency of some male survivors to display a physically aggressive and victimizing masculinity. The third context portrays the events preceding and the reactions to disclosure. Generally, the men were prompted to reveal the abuse when they sought professional help for drug or relationship problems, witnessed the disclosure of another survivor, or had reason to believe that their abuser was still offending. Often they chose to tell a family member about the abuse, but the responses they received were most often negative, Although some spouses and siblings were supportive, the majority were dismissive or challenged the account (s) . Of those participants who turned to the criminal justice system, only two found the experience positive. Generally, criminal justice practitioners were depicted as homophobic and dismissive of cornplaints made by men. The experiences of counselling professionals coincided with the survivors' accounts of the police and reinforced the notion that male survivors initially are likely to seek professional help for a problem other than the abuse. The final section examined how male survivors move on in their lives after disclosing the abuse. Al1 of the men expressed that they were continuing to experience personal and professional difficulties that they attributed to the abuse and coping mechanisms . Although they were generally more cornfortable referring to themselves as survivors than victims, both labels were ------seen as too limiting by several of the participants. Still struggling to feel confortable with and confident in their masculinity, a f ew of the men distanced themselves from or rejected conventional gender expectations. Many of the participants, however, stressed the need for broader and more inclusive understandings of what itmeans to be a "man." To better meet the needs of abused males, they recommended that the media need to depict a wider range of sexually victimizing behaviours experienced by males and to cease reinforcing the notion that male victims and male offenders are synonymous. Along with therapists, the survivors also reiterated the significance of more inclusive understandings of gender and adequate and applicable services to less the trauma of disclosure. Drawing on the male child sexual abuse and masculinities literatures, Chapter Seven analyzes the themes outlined above. More specifically, it describes how understandings of gender and victimization are interlaced, and how the reinforcement of victim appropriateness strengthens select masculine expectations. However, there are places where the fabric begins to unravel, where men go public with their abuse and challenge conceptions of gender. Chapter Seven, then, explores both the cloak of masculinity strengths and its flaws. ------.------Chapter Seven
Doing Gender in the Contexts of Victimization and Survival - In recounting their experiences of abuse, silence, disclosure,
and survival, the participants explicitly and implicitly referred to gender roles in shaping each context. Understandings of sex- specific gender appropriateness were central to their own and othersr downplaying and dismissing of the victimization. Moreover, the molestation af fected these male survivorst perceptions of their own abilities to fulfil the Vequirernent~~~of masculinity. In
Chapters Five and Six, 1 presented overviews of the consistencies and conflicts in the men's accounts of abuse. This chapter considers these data in light of the masculinities and male child sexual abuse literatures with emphasis on the complexity of gender identity and practice. In particular, this chapter of the thesis theorizes the interrelationship of gender and victimization,
Characterizing the Abuse and the Abuser
The rnenrs depictions of their experiences of victimization are best considered in light of what we already know about boys who have been molested. As noted in Chapter Three, findings from a collection of national and community-based prevalence surveys and in-depth case studies provide a barometer by which to gauge shifts in the current knowledge-base. This section, then, examines the extent to which the data collected £rom these interviews converge and deviate from findings in published studies.
163 The mean age of 7 years for the onset of abuse of participants in this project is reflective of one of the estimates identified in the literature (Dube and Herbert, 1988) . Generally, this mean age of onset is low compared to the medians of approximately 11 years cited in the literature (Finkelhor, 1979, 1984; Finkelhor, et al., 1990; Reinhart, 1987) . Such variations in the mean ages of onset of abuse, as elaborated in Chapter Three, are often reflective of discrepancies in the definitional parameters placed around age of victimization. For example, where some studies measure age during the first incident of abuse, others examine age at the time of disclosure or discovery. Moreover, it is very difficult to gather this information retroactively. Whereas much of the literature identified males to be more at risk than females of having multiple offenders (Finkelhor, 1984;
Mendel, 1995; Reinhart, 1987), a slight majority (9) of the men in this study had been victimized by a single perpetrator. Sampling strategies could affect the proportion of respondents who report multiple offenders. For instance, reported cases of abuse and clinical case studies are apt to reflect more severe and long-term types of abuse, often involving multiple offenders, than self- report surveys . Although 68% of Dube and Herbert's (1988) sample reported being molested on a single occasion, a good deal of the published research highlights the tendency for males to be victimized repeatedly (Finkelhor, et al. , 1990, Mendel, 1995). Al1 but one of the participants in this analysis reported being victimized on more -- -. -- - - than one occasion. This finding corresponds with much of the research in this area and could be reflective of the marginally higher nunber of men who had multiple offenders or the fact that the majority of the sample were abused by someone in a position of trust with frequent access. Consistent with much of the research on victimized males (Dube
and Herbert, 1988; Finkelhor, 1979, 1984; Pierce and Pierce, 1985; Reinhart, 1987) , this study found that males are sexually assaulted primarily by other males. Four of the 17 respondents were abused by women, but al1 but one were also abused by at least one male. Despite the protest by some scholars (Fritz, et al., 1981; Fromuth
and Burkhart, 1989) and local service professionals that fernales molest boys at almost the same rate as males, the presence of male perpetrators in this analysis is overwhelming. In those instances where there was a female offender, she was most often the only female in a series of perpetrators recalled by the survivor. Comparing the sexual abuse of boys to girls, the bulk of the studies have found young males to be most at risk of victimization by someone outside of their immediate family (Finkelhor, 1979,
1984; Finkelhor, et. al., 1990; Pierce and Pierce, 1988; Reinhart, 1987). In this study, there were slightly more offenders classified as extrafamilial than intrafamilial: seventeen compared to fifteen. Although this distinction is commonly made in child sexual abuse research to accentuate the damage caused by abusive family members (especially parents), from the survivorsf accounts I have found it to be an artificial and arbitrary boundary marker. -- . - - - .- - . Most of the unrelated perpetrators held positions of trust as authority figures (for example, religious leaders) and family
friends who had frequent, unsupervised contact with the victimïzed male, much like family members. Moreover, the survivors generally made no distinction between extra and intrafamilial offenders in
terras of the emotional and physical harm they experienced.
Setting the Stage: ~ultivatingmManhoodw'
A good portion of the popular and academic writings on men and masculinity argue that males are not secure in their masculinity
(Bly, 1990; Corneau, 1991; Farrell, 1993; Keen, 1991). Much of this insecurity is attributed to the absence of fathers and gender conf irming rituals in the lives of young males. As expressed by Corneau, "[tlhe signature of the missing father is the fragile
identity of his sonsu (1991:38). The accounts of the male survivors who participated in this study, however, contradict such popular perspectives. Their experiences in the years prior to, during, and after the molestation were saturated with messages about gender expectations and appropriateness. In particular, communications about masculinity naturalized not only the link between certain attributes and maleness, but also their inherent differences from female-based qualities. This section explores these gender missives, their meanings, and implications for victimized males. - - -. - . - -. The role of the father In contrast to the finding that males are more at risk of
abuse in a household where the biological father was absent or a stepfather was present (Bolton, et al., 1989; Finklalhor, 1984; Finkelhor, et al., 1997; Pierce and Pierce, 1985) , the majority (13) of the participants in this study were abused in a two biological parent home environment. Although the family structure often changed in the months and years after the abuse was initiated, most of the survivors had both a mother and father residing in the home when the molestation was initiated. Even though the father was prin~ipallyresiding in the home, he was often emotionally and physically absent from his son's life. Innumerable stories were shared regarding fathers who were more often at work or drinking with friends than at home. Several of the men lamented their fathersf insistence on being left alone when
they were home. Some of the fathers were depicted as using verbal threats and aggressive posturing ta ensure that they were net disturbed, while others retreated eo a chair in front of the television or behind a locked door to distance themselves. Alcohol abuse was an added factor which served to widen the gap between father and son. These distant and deficient father-son relationships as reported by the participants contradict a central theme of the writings on men: namely that a father's residence in the home is essentialto inculcate a secure masculine identity in young males (Bly, 1990:15; Corneau, 1991:38; Ryan, l985:15). Many of the participantsr fathers embodied a gender identity ------.--- - - that was marginalized from, yet complicit in, the overall project . - of hegemonic masculinity. In many instances fathers were portrayed as men who struggled to construct and maintain a dominant position in the home in order to counter the submission that was required of them in the public realm (for example, treating women as superiors and peers in the work environment). As Connell noted, the home is one of the many arenas where "boundaries are drawn and exclusions
are made1!regarding gender acceptability (1995:83). Several of the fathers carved out the gender hierarchy in the farnily through the use of violence. Physical and emotional wife abuse was a frequent and vivid reminder of the llpowerlfand 'controlvv of men during the youth of many of the survivors. In other cases, sex-based gender distinctions were formulated and enforced less directly, communicated through the fatherfs detachment and exclusion Erom domestic responsibilities (for example, childcare and household chores) . The homes of the menrs childhood were overwhelmingly governed by a strict division of labour, in which the mother was responsible for tending to the needs of her husband, children, and household duties, yet always accountable to her husband. Regardless of the limited involvement of fathers in their lives, the participants generally did not lack an understanding of what was expected of them as boys and young men. Contrary to the image portrayed in much of the popular writings on men, " [tlhe father is not the only bearer of masculinity in a young boy's field of visiont1 (Connell, 1995: 122) . In addition to their fathers, several of the men recalled the influence of other masculine models ------dur ing their youth. For instance, older brothers were commonly held up as exemplars of manhood, particularly those who excelled in - sports, business, or academics. In othex instances, they strove to emulate another male relative, family friend, or older male peer who paid them attention and appeared knowledgeable, respected and in control. Representatives of masculinity, however, were not restricted to males. For instance, one participant identified his mother as a stronger masculine personality than his father .
Irrespective of the model, however, the message was primarily the
same: It 'men' must be distinguished from the 'womentU (Segal,
1990:132).
Doina sender, doins difference Echoing themes in the male child sexual abuse and masculinity
literatures, al1 of the men with whom 1 spoke recalled directly and indirectly learning gender appropriate behaviour. For the most part, it was understood that boys are aggressive, stoic, self- sufficient, and athletic. It is these qualities that are identified in the literatures as impeding victimized males from
disclosure (Blanchard, 1987:22; Dimock, 1988:204; Finkelhor, 1985: 102; Lew, 1990:41) , and as generally confining males to a
restrictive (and damaging) gender urole" (Bly, 1990 ; Pleck and Sawyer, 1974; Keen, 1991) . However, these attributes and their implications for males need to be situated within the wider social context in order to avoid being essentialized and isolated as male
"traits. 1t Hegemonic representations of masculinity, both current and in
the 1960s and lWOs, when many of the participants were growing up, are primarily based on a difference from and domination over women (Connell, 1995; Donaldson, 1993 ; Messerschmidt, 1993 ; Segal, 1990) . A critically contextualized understanding of hegemonic masculinity recognizes that social relations, politics, and the economy are gendered. The aforementioned attributes, then, are meaningless in isolation from the broader structural relations of gender. "Both rnasculinity and femininity are relational terms. Masculinity has no meaning by itself - it is always defined in opposition to femininityN (Brittan, 1989 :181) . In other words, masculine stoicism and aggression acquire their significance only in relation to feminine excitability and passivity. Moreover, the boundary of acceptability is not only drawn between masculine and feminine, but also stratifies relations among men and masculinities. Homosemal enactments are viewed as the antithesis of hegemonic masculinity. Homophobia, then, is a principal hallmark of hegemonic masculinity. One participant, in particular, recounted the power of collective homophobia in his youth.
I know that there was a kid that rode the school bus who was obviously gay and ho didn't, I mean he didn't try not to be. I mean this was a small town, hockey town, smelter town, there weren 't gay people or gay people were the scuz of the earth. Well this kid, he played the violin and he would just be tormented endlessly on the bus. 1 mean I saw what happened to gay people and, uh, I was never cruel, but I never stood up for them. You know, I just sat there and so I feel guilty about that, but I also didnft see it as, you know, there certainly were no role models or anybody who suggested that it (beinq gay) was acceptable behaviour. (07, p. 6) A couple -of other ;urvivors referred to understanding in their
youth that being called a "fairyw and "queertl in ' different situations placed them outside of the bounds of appropriate masculinity. Kimmel underscores the role of other males in maintaining the gender divide: "our peers are a kind of gender police, constantly threatening to unmask us as ferninine, as sissies" (1994 :132) . The hegemonic %ode, " however, was not omnipotent in their persona1 and interpersonal lives. Even though al1 of the men were taught variations of the hegemonic masculine model, their location within other social structures (for example, class) shaped the extent to which they had access to dominance performatives. The demands of the family and preservation of the parental power hierarchy often warped the boundaries of gender appropriateness. For instance, it was very common for many of the survivors, as boys, to have had the responsibility of tending to their younger siblings (changing diapers, preparing meals, and meeting their emotional needs) while their mothers toiled inside and outsi.de of the home. Several participants also noted learning early in life that gender construction is contextual. Although they were expected to stand up to their peers and dominate interactions, their youth also demanded subservience to their fathers, mothers, older brothers, religious figures, as well as other significant adults. Private enactments and public constructions of masculinity grew increasingly more complex after the incidence(s) of sexual victimization. -- . Damage Control: Doing Gender in the Margins
Al1 of the male survivors who participated in this research dealt with the emotional and, at times, physical trauma of having been sexually abused through silence. This tendency for male and
female survivors to hide the experience (s) is extensively documented in the literature (Dimock, 1988 :207 ; Finkelhor,
1984: 232; Hunter, 1990:27; Kelly, 1988~89; Mendel, 1995: 150; Nasjleti, 1986:69; Russell, 1986:35). The child sexual abuse research further harrnonizes around the theme that "the masculine rolegtimpedes males from disclosing childhood semial victimization (Blanchard, 1987:19: Bolton, et al., 1989:39; Dimock, 1988:219; Finkelhor, 1985:102: Lew, 1990:41). As Nasjleti notes, gl[f]rorn early childhood boys learn that masculinity means not depending on anyone, not being weak, not being passive, not being a loser in confrontation, in short, not being a victimtt(1986:67). Generally, the data obtained from the male survivors who were interviewed for this project coincide with the above f indings -- masculine expectations play a cental role in their silence. However, their accounts revealed a complexity which is not captured in the literature. These interviews detailed the nuances of gender construction and maintenance in the face of victimization. Male survivors are not a homogeneous group. Although they are similar in having been sexually victimized duringtheir youth, they diverge over time and across context in the extent to which they reinforce, contest, and contradict dominant masculine identities and behaviours.
Conceptualizins: Fittinq a sauare Des into a round hole An initial challenge males face after the incident (s) of abuse is one of definition (Hunter, 1990:32; Lew, 1990:41) . Although a few of the survivors recalled knowing the experience was %rongfff they remarked that they had no framework to assist them in naming the incident(s) . There was a large chasm between what they knew about manliness and their understanding of sexual abuse. Although a distinction is commonly made between flboyslland "men," the participantsr depictions of their youth typically characterize themselves in boyhood as Ifmen in progress.<' In other words, many of their interactions were akin to training sessions in gender appropriateness . To identify the experience (s) as sexual abuse, then, jeopardizes a malers ability to successfully daim his masculinity (Lew, 1990 :41) . All of the men, in various ways, recognized that the molestation had restricted their ability to construct dominant representations of masculinity. The process of marginalization is not limited to male survivors of sexual abuse, but reflects the ability of hegemonic constructions of masculinity to situate contrary practices outside the bounds of acceptability (Connell,
1995:80). Not disclosing the abuse, then, was one strategy enlisted by the respondentsr to lessen further damage to their masculinity. Although potential reprisal from the offender served to - -- -. --- quelch some of the survivorrs accounts as boys, they stressed the importance of portraying emotional strength and denial in attempts to allay their self-blame and humiliation. For two men, reinterpreting the abuse as a lljobllor I1dutyilallowed them to construct an image of the incident(s) which was more amenable to masculinist demands -- accentuating the link between being a man, labour, and responsibility. ~verwhelrningly, the survivors recognized that as a male, their claims of having been sexually abused would be downplayed, dismissed, or distorted as "a young little fag ...corrupting the [abuser] ...." (15, p.8). Early on in their lives they were aware of victim-appropriateness -- that girls and women are the only legitimate I1victims. The correspondence between ferninine attributes and victim characteristics (namely weakness and passivity) reinforced the cognitive dissonance experienced by the participants. In attempts to alleviate the discord, the men attempted to variously reconstruct and fortify their manhood within their bubble of silence.
Takins the bu11 bv the horns: Reconstructins a damaqed masculinitv During the years in which they told no one about the abuse, the participants sought to carve out methods to protect their secret and promote their masculinity. The abuse of alcohol and other drugs is a popular and socially acceptable route for male survivors, and men generally, to numb their emotions and du11 their distress. Research has demonstrated that substance misuse is very
common among males who have been sexually abused (Dimock, 1988:207; - - - - .- - -. ------. - - Hunter, 1990:85; Krug, 1989:117; Lew, 1990:109). From the menfs accounts, it was clear that drinking alcohol and doing other drugs - were essential in managing the memories of the abuse. A second tactic employed to ensure that no one learned about the victimization was social isolation. For many of the men, voluntary solitude was merely an extension of the social and physical detachment that was enforced in their homes during their youth. Studies have found social isolation to be not only a risk
factor of sexual abuse (Finkelhor, 1984:24; Finkelhor and Baron, 1986:54), but also a consequence of being victimized (Hunter,
1990 :82 ; Lew, 1990 :130) . Though social distancinq, drinking and other drugs made the silence more tolerable; much of the participant's time and attention was directed toward proving he was a "man. " ~ichael Kimmel refers to masculinity as a homos social
We are under the constant careful scrutiny of other men, Other men watch us, rank us, grant our acceptance into the realm of manhood. Manhood is demonstrated for other men's approval. It is other men who evaluate the performance (1994: 128) This role of other men in granting a male his manhood was often evident in the survivors' accounts. Proving oneself worthy of being a man was a public and private endeavour for the participants. For some of them these undertakings took more exaggerated foms (for example, riding bulls, doing violent crime, joining a motorcycle gang), while others sought to blend into the ranks of men who exhibited a discreet, complicit masculinity (for example, dutiful husbands, fathers, employees, and academics). Although al1 of the participants explicitly or implicitly recounted the abuse as an experience of powerlessness, they took a variety of paths in attempts to reestablish their potency. Robert Conne11 drew on Alfred Adler's concept of 9uasculine protest" to characterize certain young menfs "response to powerlessness, [their] daim to the gendered position of power, [their] pressured exaggeration ...of masculine conventions" (995:) Several of the survivors sought to demonstrate their manliness through public displays of aggression, speed, daring, and callousness.
Involvement in motorcycle gangs, criminal activity, and other types of risk taking behaviour were attempts to counter the survivorfs own gender insecurities and stifle any challenges to his masculine credibility. The role of other male gfwitnessesllwas essential bere, reinforcing Kimmelfs (1994) notion that manhood can be imparted only by other men. As one survivor noted, "1 did that [playing football, riding bulls, racing cars] ...to prove 1 was a man. To prove it to these guys that I hung withI1 (17, p. 8) . The experiences of therapists seem to confirm the tendency of male survivors to overemphasize their bravado in order to drown out the word WictimH ringing in their ears. Therefore, it is not unusual for professionals to discover that survivors are more interested in talking about the victimization of others than theix own molestation. Such extrene expressions of manliness, however, are only one of many gendered trajectories a survivor may choose. For instance, being raised in a violent environment did not necessarily . . . - - - - lead to the reproduction of a violent masculinity. On the - contrary, a few of the men who were reared by fathers who regularly beat their mothers engaged in less hyper-masculine practices than those depicted above. For many of the survivors, more restrained enactments of manhood were preferred. Their behaviour is best characterized as complicit: constructed ways that realize the patriarchal dividend, without the tensions risks being the frontline troops of patriarchy. . .. (Connell, 1995: 79) . For these men the goal appeared to be one of prudent integration into the manly masses in order not to draw undue attention to themselves or their past . The descriptors %ormalu and IfperfectV1 were frequently evoked to describe their attempts to portray their masculinity. Most of ten marriage, f athering, regular employment , and academic aptitude were the avenues chosen to portray responsible, sensible, and successful gender accomplishment. Generally, though , the participants described themselves as just going through the motions, Ifplaying the game," but continually insecure about their ability to really measure up as a man. Within this context of silence, several of the men also sought assext their ability dominate engaging prostitution. Research has found prostitution to be a cornmon pattern of behaviour for male survivors of childhood sexual abuse (Janus, Burgess and
McCormack, 1987). In this study, the participants interpreted their involvement in prostitution as creating situations where they were in control. Instead of seeing such behaviour as -- d - - revictimization, the men generally depicted their hustling as a way of demonstrating their power -- they "cal1 the ~hots,~'they get paid, they have lfcontrol'tover what other men want to buy. ~iven the restricted resources (for example, limited education and earning power) of several of the sexual abuse survivors, this was one of the few ways they could attempt to accomplish dominance. Their gendered lives, as they struggled to endure the years of self-imposed silence about the abuse, were teeming with inconsistencies. This contradictory character of masculine identity and enactment is central to the findings of Connellfs (1991, 1992) life history interviews with men. He attributes the emergence of divergent masculinities among men with sirnilar backgrounds to the (re)creation of gender as being [aln active process of grappling with a situation, and constructing ways of
living with it .. . .l1 (1995: 114) . In this sample of survivors, a myriad of masculinities were performed across and within the different contexts. For instance, one of the men who engaged in
some of the more daring and dangerous feats to prove his manhood among peers also went to great lengths to secure clothing and a safe space to dress like a woman. On the whole, in contrast to their boasts about and testirnonies to their manhood, the participants often publicly masked their insecurity about their masculinity . Self-blarne is not an uncommon reaction arnong males (and females) who were sexually victimized during their youth (Hunter,
1990; Lew, 1990; Mendel, 1995). Even though this was a frequent reaction among this sample, for three of the men it translated into a rejection of their maleness and/or a desire to be female. Although this was described as a temporary response following the abuse, they surmised that the absence of a penis/presence of female reproductory organs would somehow make their experience of abuse less traumatic. Such anecdotes seem to invoke and reinforce the notion that girls/women are socially acceptable victims. This sentiment was also alluded to by the counselling professionals. Most of the therapists contended that females are generally more cornfortable talking about abuse and less bound by shame -- that they "are more comfortable in the victim role" than males. Once again, such insights tend to essentialize the experiences of women, ignoring cultural links between femininity and victirn attributes and the arduous role of the womenrs niovement and feminism in providing a forum for women to disclose their experiences of victimization as part of the process of empowerment. The incongruous character of doing gender in this sample of male survivors was also evident in their difficulties surrounding sexuality. As elaborated in Chapter Two, a hallmark of hegemonic masculinity is its heterosexuality. In its historical development heterosexuality is tied up with the institution of rnasculinity, which gives social and cultural meaning to biological male anatomy, associating it with masculinity, aggressiveness, and an 'activet sexuality. 'Realf men are intrinsically heterosexual. ... (Kinsman, 1987: 104) This "trait" of manhood was perhaps the most heavily emphasized by parents, peers, and the media in the lives of the participants. Heterosexuality, however, is not intrinsic to males (or females):
179 - - -. - . - -. - "the male body has to be disciplined to heterosexuality" (Connell, . . 1991:154)-. Childhood molestation was portrayed as thwarting this training in sexual appropriateness. Although the survivors were aware of social expectations of heterosexual desire and prowess, for the most part, they had difficulty establishing even the most casual relationships with fernales. Much of the male child sexual abuse literature documents problems with intimacy as a long-term effect of victimization
(Bolton, et al., 1989; Dimock, 1988; Hunter, 1990; Kinzl, Mangweth,
Traweger, and Biebl, 1996; Krug, 1989; Lew, 1990; Mendel, 1995). Correspondingly, the majority of the sample of male survivors and therapists also identified their trouble in establishing and
maintaining intimate relationships with the opposite sex as a significant problem. For many of the participants, this deficiency signified their inability to accomplish manhood. In particular,
several men concluded that their diff iculties with sexuality alone segregated them from frnormalllmen. Such assumptions, however, perpetuate the myth that sexual proficiency, insatiability and command are intrinsic to men, and reinforce the insecurity of males who are deemed or view themselves as falling short of this mark. Not surprisingly, it is their inability to be intimate, along with other problematic coping strategies, that eventually lead them to disclose the abuse. - - - - .- -- Sharing the Secret: Precursors and Reactions to Disclosure
Lengthy periods of silence are not unusual among males (and
females) who were sexually victimized during childhood. First, the incident(s) may not be interpreted as abusive -- lf[v]ictimization is not in the repertoire of what mostmen would envision happening to thern" (Dimock, 1988:219) . Second is the problern of identifying a safe person with whom to share the account (s). Finally, the fear that such a revelation will publicly place a male survivor outside the bounds of manhood and result in added humiliation and lower
self-esteen are further impediments (Hunter, 1990 ; Lew, 1990 ; Nasj leti, 1986) . More and more men, however, are beginning to corne forward and share their stories of being victimized. ~hissection examines the factors that led these participants to disclose and the reactions to their revelations within a context which is organized around a dichotomous understanding and hierarchical ordering of gender .
Heedins the "need to do somethinqn: The context of discîosure
Aiter years of burying the mernories of the victimization deep within themselves, most of the participants recounted reaching a stage when they knew they had to "do something" -- tell someone about the abuse. Frequently, this breaking point was accelerated by the participantsf isolation and involvement in abusive and self- abusive practices as a means of coping. Drug and alcohol misuse, violence, and the inability to be intimate are al1 cornon factors which precipitate disclosure (Blanchard, 1987:25; Hunter, 1990:85;
Lew, 1990:130; Watkins and Bentovim, 1992:225). In fact, six of the seven therapists interviewed for this dissertation reported that in their experiences, male survivors most often initially sought counselling for an issue other than the molestation in their childhoods. Past sexual victimization was usually brought up only after a significant degree of trust had been established between therapist and survivor. Unhappiness, social unconnectedness, and simmering anger (often muffled by alcohol and other drugs) fuelled several of the men's contacts with and revelations to service professionals. Witnessing other survivors of childhood sexual abuse divulge their stories also prompted some of the men to share their own account (s) . Often, the realization that the experience (s) of another survivor coincided with their own provided enough validation to lessen the risk of coming forward. This process of reciprocal disclosure, then, not only aids the survivor in naming his experience, but also provides an emotionally and physically safe space to voice the incident(s) (Lew, 1990:154). Interestingly, the disclosures of most of the participants were not dependent upon the awareness or witnessing of the accounts of other molested males. Overwhelmingly, the stories of women who were sexually victimized in childhood were credited as providing the opportunity , incentive, and support necessary for the participants to release their secret. Such a finding confirms my assertion in Chapter Three regarding the significance of the women's movement and feminism in not only providing an outlet for women to voice their experiences, but also clearing a path upon which men could name and divulge their own sexual trauma(s) in childhood. A final motivating factor in telling someone about the abuse was the fear or knowledge of the perpetrator reoffending. The thought of other young boys and girls having to endure the physical and emotionaltrauma they had suffered was sufficient incentive for some of the men to "blow the whistleffon the abuser. The five respondents who were prompted by this concern al1 went to the authorities with their accusations. Although their experiences of using the criminal justice system are more fully examined below, generally the participants found this to be a (em)powerful, albeit frustrating, act. Where victimization was equated with a loss of control and power, disclosing in an attempt to thwart future offending by the abuser aided these survivors in their attempt to recoup a more potent masculinity- Their realities of coming forward with their stories of abuse, however, were fraught with others' attempts to downplay, dismiss, and deny their experiences.
Reflectins and reinforcins manhood: Minimizins the abuse of bovs The term ltrevictimizinglfis commonly evoked to characterize the process of disclosing childhood sexual abuse. This concept denotes the tendency for parents, peers, therapists, police officers, prosecutors and others to cause further trauma to the WictimW by questioning or blaming him or Ber for the abuse (Lew, 1990 :149 ; Hunter, 1990: 115) . Survivors' fears that they will be - -- -. - - . ------disbelieved or faulted upon voicing their past victimization are often realized. Although spouses and close friends were depicted - as generally supportive of the participantsf revelations, their reactions were atypical. As a rue peoplefs reluctance to validate accounts of abuse and attempts to place the onus on the survivor reflect a broader hesitancy to acknowledge that child semial abuse is so pervasive and traumatizing and that %~rrnal~~
males can be victims of molestation (Hunter, 1990:119).
In contrast to the generally supportive responses of spouses and friends, dismissal by primary family members (parents and siblings) was very common among the sample of survivors. The act of disclosing was further convoluted when the abuser was a family member or close family friend. As Mike Lew noted,
lff[w]histleblowersfare seldom rewarded in our societyw (1990:151). Two of the men recalled indirectly trying to tell a parent early on about the abuse, only to be reprimanded:
. .. the second time he [abusing uncle] tried [fondling f the next day, 1 sort of lost it. And 1 ran away, like stay away, stay away from me. And then rny mother came in and said, "dontt you Say that, that's not nice. (21, p.9)
I remember telling my parents about him [abuser] the best I could.. .My father would Say so and so is coming to babysit and I would start bawling when I heard about it and my father would Say, "why are you crying?" and I would Say "because so and so hits me." My father said, "he doesn't hit you. " (10, P-11)
Disclosures to family members as adults were also fiercely challenged and dismissed. These reactions tended to convey the messages that such incidents were aberrant, insignificant, or too ilgrosstito even discuss. Such responses from parents and siblings are not uncommon for either male or female survivors (Hunter, 1990:52; Lew, 1990: 151; Womenfs Research Centre, 1989:190-96). For victirnized males, negative family member reactions are often fuelled by underlying fears of the abused son or brother being homosexual, and result in attempts to force the issue back into the closet. The association of male child sexual abuse with homosexuality was even more common and less discreet when the disclosure was made to police and prosecutors. Within the feminist and critical masculinities literatures, the state has been exposed as "part of a wider structure of gender relations" which organizes and reinforces relations of power based on gender, class, race, sexual orientation and ethnicity, to name a few (Connell, 1990:520). The state, its institutions and policies have specifically been identified as legislating and sustaining a hegemonic heterosexual maçculinity (Brittan, 1989; Connell, 1990; Segal, 1990). For instance, studies have highlighted the ways in which the state maintains and legitimates hegemonic masculinity through the lkriminalization of male honiosexuality~~ (Carrigan, et al., 1985:594; cf. Brittan, 1989; Kinsman, 1987; Segal, 1990) . Although "the state may no longer criminalize al1 forms of homosexuality ...through legislation on the age of consent, welfare practices as regards adoption, and in al1 forms of taxation and benefits arrangements, it denies legitimacy ta homosexual relations" (Segal, 1990: 98; cf. Brittan, 1989 :129) . -- The staters tendency to actively devalue and regulate male - homosexuality is also evident in how reports of childhood molestation against males are viewed and responded to by state agencies . Although two participants recounted relatively positive experiences of disclosing to the police, the rnajority of those who sought the assistance of the criminal justice system were critical of the action and inaction that were taken. Soth the male survivors and service providers who were interviewed noted that homophobic reactions by intake officers were not uncommon. In some instances, the officer probed the participant about his sexual orientation. In another case the respondent was continually Nreassuredllthat being victimized didnft mean he was gay:
In the victim report I had to be very graphic about the type of acts that were committed. And as he [officer] was reading them back, he would Say, "oh, you know, yeah, this happened, but that doeçn't necessarily make you a homosexual. You know he's trying to comfort me for maybe not necessarily being gay.. .and my nephew was also abused by this brother and he is gay and in the same room as these officers. (08, p.8)
Research has also identified homophobia in the tendency of the criminal justice system to deal more harshly with same-sex molestation (particularly the abuse of a boy by another male), than victimization of a female by a male or vice versa (Adler, 1992;
Nava, 1984; Pierce and Pierce, 1985). According to her analysis of the current scope, implernentation, and underlying assumptions of law on sexual ------offences against males in Britain, Zsuzsanna Adler Eound that "the law on sexual crimes involving male victims is primarily concerned with the control of homosexual behaviourm (1992: 125) . This notion that the official response to male child sexual abuse is organized primarily to repress homosexuality is occasionally ref lected in this current study. For example, one of the men complained that his allegation of being molested by a woman during his youth was slighted, while detailed attention was given to the incidents in which he was sexually assaulted by males. Officersr reactions, however, were not uniform. In a situation where there was substantial corroborative evidence from other victimized males against the accused and where a report was filed with a supportive
and sympathetic female officer, the criminal justice system was rated quite favourably. Generally, though, the majority of the men who filled out a police report on the incident(s) of abuse depicted the experience as one of interrogation rather than support. Other victim-oriented services tended to be rated as more helpful than the police, but primarily geared to address the needs of victimized women and girls. A Eew of the participants encountered frontline crisis workers who were not only unfamiliar with issues confronting male survivors, but who associated men with offenders and refused to provide assistance to males. Once again, static, unidimensional portrayals of men as aggressors and women as victims mute the existence of male survivors and female of fenders. Such encounters led some of the male survivors to propose that female survivors have an easier road to recognition, validation, and recovery than males. Although some of the men recognized the struggles girls and wornen face in coming forward with their allegations of abuse, several of the participants, over the course of the interview, proposed that they would have been more readily believed and less traumatized had they been female. Much of their speculation centred on their assumption or knowledge that female survivors are less likely to be challenged, and are txeated more sensitively than males. Such allegations of differences in the treatment of sexually victimized males and females, however, are not generally supported in the literature. Numerous studies of females who had been sexually assaulted in childhood document how young girls are often blamed for seducing their male victimizers; the ways in which the abuse is downplayed as a symptom of family dysfunction; and the hesitancy of professionals to ask about and report cases of father- daughter incest (Garbarino, 1989 ; Herman, 1985; Kelly, 1988 ; Krane,
1990; MacLeod and Saraga, 1988; Mitra, 1987; Womenrs Research
Centre, 1989). On the whole, the experienceç of male and female survivors of childhood sexual abuse appear to be more similar than different. For both, moving beyond the abuse and on with their lives can be a long and arduous task.
Male Survivors: On ~eingMen and Moving On
For al1 of the men with whom I spoke, struggles with their masculine identity, sexuality, and ability to cope with the - - -- memofies of-abusewere not resolved upon disclosure. Telling
someone else about being victimized was only a continuation of the long process of living with the abuse and its repercussions. Although the majority of the men found that breaking the silence about the molestation eased their minds and lifted their spirits,
they were also frustrated by the glacial Pace of their ability to move on and beyond the effects of the abuse. ~uestionsof when could they put the sexual assault(s) behind them and when would they feel like a "regular guy1I shadowed their narratives. This section explores the engendered overtones embedded in the participantsf views on terminology, manhood, and how to best address male survivorsf needs.
Victim/survivor: Im~licationsfor masculinity Feminists employ the term usurvivorm in an attempt to capture the active continuance of women's lives after abuse: how women strive to regain "personal powerfi(ie. "inner strength that arises from a strong motivation to survivetf)that was shaken as a result of victimization (Waldby, Clancy, Emetchi and Summerfield, 1989:103; cf. Kelly, 1988:162; Women's Research Centre, 1989:22). A good portion of the male child sexual abuse literature has drawn on the ~victim/sur~ivor~~distinction made by ferninists, while emphasizing the distinctiveness of this process for men (Bolton, et al., 1989; Huntsr, 1990; McMullen, 1990; Lew, 1990) . In particular it has been suggested that males who were sexually assaulted in childhood have difficulty viewing themselves as victims (Bolton, et --.--. ------.- -. al., 1989:95; Hunter, 1990:94). This reticence to be identified as a victim was expressed by several of the participants. Generally, - their resistance stemmed from the association of the label Wictimrl with the qualities of weakness and powerlessness, characteristics inconsistent with hegemonic masculinity. Hot unlike female survivors of child sexual abuse, these men wanted to be credited
with how far they had corne and not be relegated permanently to victimhood, The label ufvictim,ufhowever, was significant to two of the participants. They stressed the ability of this concept to validate and acknowledge the trauma of their experiences. The views of these two men echoed a concern voiced in the literature regarding the need for men to identify as victims in order to
I1believe in their own innocenceuf(Hunter, 1990: 94; cf. Bolton, et
al, 1989; McMullen, 1990). An additional utility of this concept is that it addresses the tendency for men, I1when recalling the abuse ...[to] mentally picture themselves as men rather than as boysut (Hunter. 1990: 94) . An emphasis on victimization, then, is viewed as beneficial to male survivors and their masculine identities in that it is a reminder that the assault took place in childhood and adolescence, a period of limited options and control
(Bolton, et al, 1989:95; Hunter, 1990:94). Other respondents eschewed the term u8victimHin favour of the word ufsurvivorlvand its emphasis on the empowering process of moving front silent resignation to vocal resistance. For some of the men, the word %ur~ivor~~symbolized a step toward securing a - more positive sense of self and of their own manhood. However. other participants found the concept empty, restrictive. and inaccurate. The notion of survivorship has inundated North American discourse as a way to describe people who have endured a wide range of experiences. People sexual abuse, boring vacation spots, graduate school, and family reunions. It is no wonder. then. that a few of the male survivors found the concept to be
drained of its empowering edge. As one respondent dryly noted, "1 don't want to be a survivor of everything. For other men, the label belied the fact that they continued to contemplate suicide or slip into harmful coping strategies . In other words , llsurvivorll conveyed a sense of completion and strength that they didn't believe was an accurate depiction. Finally, a few men felt that the term %urvivoru left them in limbo; where do they go from here and are they forever destined to be identified as a survivor? While it has been suggested that uvictorflwould be the next stage in the process of healing from the abuse (McMullen, 1990:68), much of the literature and several of the participants stressed that such labels are transient and I1[need] to be dropped so the individual doesntt think of himself as a victim or a survivor but merely as a person" (Hunter, 1990: 95) . The presence and absence of might and command permeated many of their concerns about the utility of the labels %ictimtl and "çur~ivor.~For instance, their concerns centred around a label reinforcing their weakness, inaccurately boasting their strength, ------or confining ;hem to an image that left little room for options. - Although useful in some respects, single word classifications were for many respondents an added impediment as they struggled to conceptualize and enact their masculinity.
Masculinitv: Messages. mvths, and misste~s A key theme emerging out of the critical masculinities literature is that the construction of gender across contexts and over the course of an individual man's life is not seamless (Connell, 1995; Kimmel and Messner, 1989) . There is no single path from boyhood to manhood; on the contrary there are numerous routes fraught with obstacles. Complications arise because one does not
ltdoN gender in a vacuum. Instead, a male's capacity to accomplish masculinity is aff ected by where he is simultaneously situated within other social positionings (ie. race, sexual orientation,
age, class), Gender, then, Iris not a static thing thatwe become, but is a form of ongoing interaction with the structures of the
surrounding world" (Kimmel, 1994:147). The intersection of other relations of power with gender restrict but do not determine the gendered course of an individual man's life. Sexual abuse in childhood is an event which conditions the options available to a male to display his manhood. For some male survivors being molested as a boy had a minimal visible impact on how they define and actualize their masculinity, while othersr engagements are more visceral and pronounced. This section examines the complex and contradictory ways in which the participants currently struggle - -- - with what it means to be a man. For several of the men the interview setting was another context in which they felt a need to invest in their manliness, particularly after recounting a situation of powerlessness, passivity, or emotional pain. 1 was shown scars from fights, informed of martial arts credentials, and apprised of other feats, often following depictions of the abuse, Furthermore, gaps in their public and private demonstrations of manhood were elucidated. In particular, it was not uncommon for the male survivors to recount doing masculinity differently in the Company of women and the presence of other men. Several of the men countered their acquiescent side around certain women with a boisterous Ifoneof the boysrtattitude among other males. The significance of other men in confirming and denying a man's masculinity often results in such contradictory behaviour. For instance, one respondent referred to the emotional and financial support that he provided to women who had been abused on the heels of noting that he I1might crack women jokes and Say different thingsttthat degrade women around other men. Kimmel notes that it is this need to Save face around other men that Ifexplainswhy women often cornplain that their male friends or partners are often so understanding when they are alone and yet
laugh at sexist jokes or even make these jokes themselves when they are out with a groupl' (Kimmel, 1994 :13 1) . Generally, the interviews were littered with references to gender, reinforcing the notion that the creation of I1masculinity is a relentless testf1 (Kimmel, 1994: 126) . Even those men who spurned dominant - - -. --- understandings of gender harked back to the lessons they had learned about gender appropriateness in their youth. The role of the family has been identified as significant in the lives of some males in laying the foundations for gender identity and practice (Barrett and McIntosh, 1990 ; Duffy, 1988 ; Osmond and Thorne, 1993) -- it is what Connell (1995) refers to as a 19moment of engagementr1with hegemonic masculinity. It was in these early contexts that the participants recalled learning the lîcorrectwway to act and interact -- be stoic, be cornpetitive, be successful, be dominant, be heterosexual. Such messages and the realities of having been abused reminded many of the male survivors that they fell short of what was expected of them as men. The roles of the family and other engendering institutions, however, "are not f ixed. . . [t]hey are fields of relationship Cs] within which gender is negotiatedul (Connell, 1995 :146) . In other words, the possibilities for interpreting and enacting gender are varied across contexts and time and are not deternined by a particular set of configurations portrayed at home (ie. a violent father or mother does not necessarily beget violent behaviour in the son). Three of the men who were reared in very physically, emotionally, and sexually abusive home environments were also among the most resistant to hegemonic conceptualizations of gender. The outright rejection by one of the participants of his maleness and manliness spoke to his association between acting abusively and portraying masculinity. His way of distancing himself from the damage done by the sexual assault is to attempt to detach himself --- - L - from qualities identified as masculine. Such efforts by males to themselves vestiges of masculinity, however, are problematized courting kind of gender vertigom -- fear and disorientation resulting from the rejection of hegemonic masculinity which %tructured the world and the self for them in gendered terms..." (Conneli, 1995:137). In order to maintain some orienting structure in their lives, other participants sought to
broaden their understandings of gender rather than renounce their masculinity. In describing what it means to be a man, these participants drew on more inclusive definitions of rnasculinity and femininity. They sought fewer restrictions on their behaviour in order to allow the expression of emotions and the potential for vulnerability without being excluded from manhood. Interestingly, it was not uncommon for these men who wanted to break down gender distinctions to evoke and reinforce the very differences they endeavoured to eliminate. For instance, a few of the men referred to cultivating their I1feminine sideVI (usually their emotions) , reinforcing the cultural ties between femininity and emotionality. Conne11 (1995:137) identifies such paradoxical action as men's attempts Yo set limits to the loss of structurew1they encounter when seeking to resist and restructure representations of masculinity. The participantsr critiques of culturally based and maintained assumptions around the dichotomy of gender, however, were iurther voiced when rnaking recommendations about how to best meet the needs of male survivors. ------Resmondins ta needs of male survivors as men A particularly insightful and intense part of the interviews explored how the needs of sexually victimized males could be better served. In soliciting the advice of male survivors and therapists working with this population, 1 sought to heighten the praxiological component of the research. In other words, their suggestions are aired in the hope that they will orient future inquiries and inform the public and professional communities regarding the limitations of the current knowledge and services addressing male child sexual abuse. I profile the insights of males who daily contend with the consequences of living through childhood sema1 victimization. Their concerns centre around three areas: insufficient and limited media coverage; gender stereotypes; and the availability, affordability and relevance of services. The print, visual and electronic media have been essential in
raising awareness about the sexual abuse of boys. The 1990s in particular have witnessed numerous accounts of male child sexual assault being documented in film, newspaper reports, magazine stories, radio and television talkshows, and internet websites. The significance of the CBC airing "The Boys of St. VincentN in
1993 was acknowledged by most of the participants. For a number of them this film signified a turning point in their ability to identify their own experience. Three respondents, however, were more reserved in their opinions or openly critical of the images depicted in the movie. For instance, a couple of men expressed their concern that the film tended to lleroticizer'the same-sex component of the abuse by showing young boys showering together naked. Alcoff and Gray agree with this sentiment, noting that the media 'loften eroticize the depictions of survivors and of sexual
violence to titillate and expand theix audiencesn (1993:262). Another participant lashed out at what he saw as sanitized images being portrayed in the movie. A survivor of extreme sexual abuse at the hands of Christian Brothers in a Canada-based training school, he found the depictions of the abuse and abusers to be too sterile and toned down to accurately convey the violent trauma inflicted in such a setting. This inability of the media to capture the more severe types of abuse was echoed by another respondent concerning the tame stories of molestation recounted on television talkshows, The limitations of the media were further voiced around their tendency to focus on large-scale institutional abuse in the case of males, For instance, in southwestern B.C. there has been extensive coverage of the sexual assault of boys in Canadian residential and training schools, orphanages and, more recently, of young males by two male employees at Maple Leaf Gardens. Although publication of these incidents is important, there were participants who argued that restricting coverage to such high profile cases serves to further isolate and minimize the experiences of the large number of males who were singly molested. These men called for media coverage on the range of abuse cases in order to halt the appearance of selective validation based on what makes it in the papers or on the evening news. .- . ------Finally, several male survivors and counselling professionals stressed that the media need to show men and boys in a variety of roles. For instance, television, novels and newspapers almost exclusively portray males (both youth and adult) as offenders, thereby obscuring their potential to be victimized, particularly sexually. It has been argued in the literature, by therapist, and male survivors that focusing solely on men as offenders not only biases the views of the public, but also sways professionals away from recognizing and acting on suspicions that a boy has been molested (Holmes and Offen, 1996). Several GE the counselling professionals who were interviewed recounted first-hand experiences with agencies and training seminars which perpetuated the dualistic notion that men are offenders and women are victims. Identifying these gaps in media-generated information about male child sexual abuse led several of the participants to recommend that the media and other socializing institutions (ie. family and school) broaden their understandings and representations of gender acceptability. Although they variously supported and enacted dominant manly attributes, the male survivors with whom I spoke agreed that they felt tfhobbledn by hegemonic masculine expectations . On an individual level and in their interactions with family, friends, and professionals, the participants felt silenced because their experiences of being sexually victimized failed to correspond with what it meant to be a "man.1t The tendency in the literature to label the sexual assault of boys by anothew male as "homosexual abuset1(Blanchard, 1986 ; Bolton, et al. , 1989) Eurther marginalizes -. such incidents as outside the boundary cf hegemonic heterosexual masculinity. According to Mike Lew, Men are not supposed to be victimized. A 'real man' is expected to be able to protect himself in any situation.. -. Since men are 'not supposed to be victims,' abuse (and particularly sexual abuse) becomes a process of demasculinization (or emasculinization) . If men arenrt to be victims (the equation reads), then victims are not men (l99O:4l) In response to this culturally canstructed oxymoron, the male survivors emphasized the significance of expanding the range of attributes under the rubric of ffmasculine.fl For the most part, the respondents recognized the cultural roots of gender- It is this realization of masculinity and femininity as socially created and maintained that provided encouragement for the male survivors - there is a corresponding potential for change. Although they occasionally carved out or reinforced boundaries between masculine and ferninine, they recognized the synunetry between the two categories. The need to work toward more inclusive definitions of manhood was stressed as essential to aiding earlier disclosures from males and providing more emotionally and physically safe spaces for them to share their accounts. A significant portion of the research has stressed the lack of services and treatment programs relevant to and available for men who were sexually assaulted in childhood and adolescence (Bolton, et al, 1989; Lew, 1990; Pierce and Pierce, 1985) . Although there is the tendency to draw Eunding batCle lines between services for men and women in the literature, anong male survivors, and counselling professionals, the fact is that neither the needs of males or females are being met. In the southwestern corner of B. C. where this sample of male survivors was drawn, there are typically long waiting lists comprising both men and women vying for spots amid a paucity of support groups and counselling services specifically dealing with child sexual abuse issues. In the case of male survivors, those who participated in this research concur that current services are frequently underfunded, overburdened, overpriced, or otherwise inaccessible. Generally, the male survivors argued for more support specific to their needs (ie. the Vancouver Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse) . This was especially the case for those men who lived outside of Vancouver and Victoria and had difficulty finding reliable transportation. Moreover, the need for more af fordable services was emphasized. Although many organizations and private therapists arrange their fees on a sliding scale, the lower end of the scale is frequently full, thereby excluding the opportunities of men who have no access to the necessary funds. Finally, several participants underscored the need for more professional training on the issues faced by men who were molested as boys. Having encountered physicians, police officers, psychologists, and other counselling professionals who dismissed and downplayed their accounts of abuse, the male survivors argued for more education of and communication between these support personnel. In particular, the men highlighted a need for a continuum of service in which al1 service providers would be aware ------of each others' roles so that male survivors would not be
rnisdire~~ed.As gatekeepers to applicable resources , adequately and accurately infoming community service providers of the needs of victimized males was deemed as essential ta the overall health of this population.
Recommendations for Future Research
This research is singular on several levels. In addition to highlighting how hegemonic representations of manliness orient and obscure the sexual abuse of boys, this project illumin.ates the variable ways males deal with a perceived damage to or loss of
masculinity as a result of childhood molestation. Although the literature addresses the role of gender expectations in silencing victimized males, it provides only a limited understanding of the hierarchical ordering of masculinities and the multiple, and often contradictory, practices abused males enact to reassert, resist, and redefine their manhood over time. This present study, however, has limitations. For instance, it is restricted by its sample, research questions, and methods of
data collection. It is these shortcomings, in concert with the gaps in knowledges and services identified by the participants, which bave the potential to direct and expand future inquiries. In tkfs section, I identify six areas in which initial or additional research is needed. First, the current bank of information on male child sexual - -- -- .- . .- -- - . - .--- - - abuse is overwhelmingly based on cases that have corne to the attention of service providers (for example, therapists, - physicians, police officers). In other words, there is scant information on young and adult male survivors who, for a variety of reasons, have not sought professional assistance. Although there are challenges to locating such a population, their input would be essential to ensuring the development of more applicable proactive measures against and responses to the sexual abuse of boys. Second, the bulk of current knowledge on male survivors has been gleaned from caucasian males. The experiences of men of colour have yet to be adequately explored. The voices of Native, East Indian, Asian, Hispanie, and Af rican-American males are largely absent from the male child sexual abuse literature. This gap may result from the hesitancy of these populations to seek therapy or file a police report. For instance, al1 the therapists with whom 1 spoke acknowledged having minimal to no experience in working with male survivors of colour. Their inclusion, however, is imperative to gauge the relevancy of current services and to shed theoretical light on their ability to accomplish particular images of masculinity. Third, three of the participants in this study lived a significant distance from the epicentres of support for male survivors (Vancouver and Victoria). Their remote locations had a decided effect on their abilities to secure accessible and a£ fordable services. ~urviving abuse in rural or otherwise isolated communities is apt to be distinct from coping in more diverse, service-oriented urban centres. At present, this is another looming gap in the knowledge-base that demands future exploration. Fourth, there is a need for a more thorough examination of services for men who are sexually victimized in childhood. This study found that support geared to the needs of males is generally limited, underfunded, and overpriced. Although the subject of services was addressed, it was not a focal point of this research. Future inquiries, then, are needed to gauge what kind of services exist; where they are located; and why they are accessed by some male survivors and not others. Fifth, there is debate in the literature regarding whether therapy is a panacea for abuse survivors. Though the majority of the participants in this research touted the benefits of therapy, there are questions about its empowering potential and ability to effect broader structural changes. For instance, Alcoff and Gray argue that the importance of the role placed on the tfexpertgv (therapist) in mediating and interpreting disclosures results in gfvictimsttbeing depicted as ones Who can only recount their experiences as if these are transparent, and who offer pitiable instantiations of the universal truths the experts revealgp
(1993 :277) , Moreover, there is the concern that a focus on therapy may occlude the need for broader structural changes. As Dobash and Dobash warn, "[tlherapeutic orientations eliminate wider political visions of change and move, instead, to discourses associated with individual medical/psychiatric carew (1992 :29 1) . .- ----.-- Critical analyses of the significance and drawbacks of therapists - and the therapeutic process and their potential for a~tu~lizingthe above concerns are needed. Sixth, although it was touched on in this inquiry, little information is available regarding the role of the criminal justice system in revictimizing males who report incidents of childhood sexual assault in adulthood. In Chapter Six several of the participants recounted homophobic attitudes expressed by police and prosecutors and their tendency to downplay molestation by a female offender. A more in-depth analysis of the responses by criminal justice practitioners to victimized males is necessary in order to more fully examine this institution's role in gender enforcement in this context.
Conclus ion
Critically engendering the sexual abuse of boys, their silence, disclosure, and strategies for living with the assault is essential. The victimization of males needs to be understood from boys ' and menrs "actual or potential experiences of violence ...[highlighting] how different men [and boys] with their varying relationships to and engagement with hegernonic masculinity. . .respond to violent victimizationw (Stanko and Hobdell, 1993 :402) . In particular, the concept of hegemonic masculinity and its emphasis on the contextuality of gender, its relational character, and the hierarchical structuring of relations - .- - -- - among men and masculinities provide a necessary theoretical springboard for analyzing the politics of gender within the context of male child sexual abuse. My study demonstrates that males do not respond to child sexual abuse in a straightforward fashion. Althoughthe literature emphasizes that "the male roletlimpedes boys and men from coming forward with their accounts of having been victimized, the reactions of male survivors are much more complex and contradictory. Soliciting victimized men's understandings of and engagement with masculinity in the contexts of abuse, silence, disclosure, and survival, this research illuminates how they oscillated between exaggerated posturings of manliness and understated attempts at accomplishing masculinity. For instance, it was not unusual for most of the participants to hold ont0 certain hallmarks of masculinity (for example, heterosexuality, physical strength, mechanical or technical acumen, rationality) while challenging other masculine assumptions such as stoicism.
Moreover, 1 highlight how the men's dif f iculties with managing their masculinity, while secreting their experience(s) of molestation, eventually resulted in disclosure. At some point for al1 of the men, the abuse necessitated a reinterpretation of gender, one which accommodated the victimization, rather than using it as a reason for exclusion from manhood. Throughout al1 stages of dealing with the abuse, the participants had to navigate around an array of gender regulators. Homophobia among police off icers, minimizing by f amily members, and denial of certain services in the support: sector were just a few of the reactions endured by the participants upon disclosure. Moreover, they found the labels ascribed to perçons who had experienced one or more abusive incidents saturated with notions of gender. For instance, while the word lgvictimwwas depicted as incongruent with understandings of manliness, the term ~rsurvivor~ conveyed a greater sense of strength and bravado than some of the men felt they reflected. TheLr ability to shoulder through the risks of revealing the abuse, however, enabled many of the participants to carve out a space where they could question and reconceptualize what it means to be a man. In making recommendations regarding how to better meet the needs of male survivors, the importance of recognizing and permitting a wider range of attributes among males was paramount. This problematization of masculinity is significant in that it underscores that hegemonic views and manifestations of gender are not omnipotent. Sexual victimization in childhood is just one life experience which plants the seeds for personal/political struggle which contradicts, negotiates, and contests the terrains on which masculinities are constructed, The process of living through incidents of victimization, then, has transf ormative potential, for males as "menw, to challenge the disparities between their persona1 experiences and the global patterns of power, abuse, and powerlessness . Appendix A
Interview Schedules
Interview Schedule for Male Survivors Interview Schedule for Counselling Professionals code : time: length :
Male Survivors Interview
PART 1
As you know, we first made contact through agency/program. 1 would like to begin by talking about this agency/program and male child sema1 abuse more generally. What led you to first seek therapy? Did you have difficulty finding counselling services/programs as a male survivor of child semial abuse? What helped you decide on the particular program or counsellor that you are seeing now? cprobe>individual or group sessions?
PART 11
1 would now like to ask you several questions about yourself, the abuse and how you cope with it.
1. What was your home like as a child?
What was it like to be a boy when you were growing up? treatment by and expectations of family, friends, teachers Who were your Vole modelsm when you were growing up? What kinds of discussions did you engage in with your primary caregivers (specify) regarding sex?
Did what happened to you fit with your own understanding of sema1 abuse? How did you corne to name what happened to you as Ilabu~e?~~
How would you currently def ine childhood sexual abuse ( incest) ?
Can you tell me a little about the person(s) who abused you ?
What would you like to see done with the information 1 obtain with these interviews? How are you feeling now after this interview? . -- - -. .. code :
PART III
1. How old are you? yrs .
2. What is your race/ethnic background or heritage? British European (specify) African-American Asian (specify) Indo-Canadian Native/Aboriginal Latino Other (specify)
3. How would you describe your sexual orientation? Heterosexual - Gay Bisexual Other
4. What is your marital status? single, never married married (how long common-law part of gay couple (how long 1 separated (how long 1 divorced (how long 1 remarried (how many times 1 widower
5. What was the last grade of school you completed? - grade completed (if less than 12th grade) finished secondary school some technical school beyond secondary school some college/university but did not graduate craduated from college/university
-. some graduate or professional school cornpleted graduate or professional school ------6. What was the last grade of school completed by your father? grad-e completed (if less than 12th grade) finished secondary school some technical school beyond secondary scb001 some college/university but did not graduate graduated from college/university some graduate or professional school completed graduate or professional school
7. What was the last grade of school completed by your mother? grade completed (if less than 12th grade) finished secondary school some technical school beyond secondary scbool some college/university but did not graduate graduated from college/university some grad~ateor professional school completed graduate or professional school
8. Are you currently employed outside of the home? (Check al1 that ~PP~Y yes, full-tirne (specify) yes, part-time (specify) no, disability no, layoff, strike no, full-tirne student no, retired no, welfare no, other ( specify)
If no, when were you last employed? within the last 2 years more than 2 years ago never been employed
9. What is you annual persona1 income? under 10,000 10,000 - 19,999 20,000 - 29,999 30,000 - 39,999 40,000 - 49,999 Over 50,000 - -- -- 10. How would you describe the financial statu~of your primary caretaker (s) during your childhood years? frequently unemployed working-class middle-class professional/affluent
11. How many homes did you live in between the ages of one and 18 years?
12. In which province/state were you primarily raised? Would you describe this community as a: city town rural community
13. How many siblings do you have? (Step-siblings)
Are your siblings older or younger than you? older brothers older sisters younger brothers younger sisters Interview Schedule (Therapists and Social service Providers)
-mat do you view as the benefits and impediments to working with male survivors? -mat do you perceive to be the motivations that lead male survivors to seek counselling services? -How would you characterize the amount of igformation currently availableto male surviviors of child sexualabuse?
-Does the current distribution of information and services meet the needs of male survivors in the Lower Mainland? -In your opinion, how can the needs of male survivors best be met? - Participant Profiles participant Profiles
Participant #1 is a 38 year old who depicts his heritage as Canadian. He is heterosexual and has been married for over seven years. He was raised by his biological mother and father. He was abused by his older brother. He graduated from university and was employed full-time.
Participant #2 is a 31 year old caucasian. He described himself as heterosexual and was single at the time of the interview. From the age of seven years he was reared in a variety of foster, group home and training school settings. He was abused by male peers, two foster mothers, a fernale group home aid, and several Christian Brothers. He was in prison at the time of the interview.
Participant #3 is 48 years old and of European heritage. He is uncertain about his sexual orientation and was single at the time of the interview. He was raised by his biological mother and father. He was abused by a male peer. He completed some graduate school and -was working in a profession.
Participant #4 is a 40 year old Native man. He described himself as asexual and was single at the time of the interview- He was raised in a series of foster homes and a training school for boys. He was sexually assaulted by older female youths, nuns, and several of the Christian Brothers who ran the training school. He was in prison at the time of the interview.
Participant #5 is a 26 year old man of British heritage. He is heterosexual and had been separated from his wife for about two months when we spoke. He was reared by his biological mother and father. He was abused by a Brother who taught him at a ~atholic al1 boys school. He completed secondary school and was employed on a full-time basis.
Participant #6 is 26 years old and of British and Native neritages. He is bisexual and was single at the time of the interview. He was primarily raised by his biological mother and father. He was abused by his mother, father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and several older cousins. He was receiving some technical and university education and was on disability at the time of the interview.
Participant #7 is 43 years old and of British and European heritage- He is uncertain about his sexual orientation and was single at the time of the interview. He was raised by his biological mother and father. He was abused by a man he met through the Catholic Church who was a volunteer £ire fighter and a community council member. He had some college/university education and was working as an artist and in seasonal occupations, but primarily living on social assistance at the time of the interview.
Participant #8 is a 33 year old man of Russian descent. He is heterosexual and was married at the time of the interview. He was raised by his biological mother and father. He was abused by both of his older brothers. He had completed some graduate/professional school and was on disability at the time of the interview.
Participant #9 is 44 years old and depicted his heritage as Canadian, He defined himself as heterosexual and had been separated from his wife for one and one half years. He was reared by his biological father and a stepmother. He was abused by his biological brother and several other adult males who he did not know. He completed grade 10 and was unemployed at the time of the interview.
Participant #10 is 29 years old and of European heritage. He is heterosexual and was single at the time of the interview. He was reared by his biological mother and father. He was abused by his older brother and a male baby-sitter. He had completed some college/university training and was self-employed at the time of the interview.
Participant #11 is 30 years old and of British and European descent, He is gay and was single at the tirne of the interview. He was raised by his biological mother and father until they divorced when he was 10 years old. He was abused by his materna1 uncfe, a male family friend, and several other adult male strangers, He has had some technical training and was working part-time,
Participant #l2 is a 50 year old Filipino. He is gay and was divorced after being married for two years. He was raised by his biological mother and father. He was sexually assaulted by his mother. He graduated from college/university and was working full- time.
Participant #13 is 38 years old and of British and European descent. He is heterosexual and was single at the time of the interview. He was raised by his biological mother and father until they divorced and his mother remarried when he was 11 years old, He was abused by his stepfather. He was working part-time.
Participant f14 is 34 years old and of European heritage, He is bisexual and was single at the time of the interview. He was reared by his biological mother and father until he father died when he was 10 years old. He was abused by his father. He had some college/university education and was not employed at the tirne of the interview. Participant is 28 years old and of ~ritishdescent. He is gay and was in a partnership at the time of the interview. He was raised by his biological mother and father until they divorced when he was 11 years old. He was sexually assaulted by a priest. He graduated from college/university and was employed full-time.
Participant fl6 is 42 years old and of British descent. He is heterosexual and had been separated for four years at the time of the interview. He was reared by his biological mother and father. He was abused by his older brother and a male friend of the family. He has some college/university education. He was employed full- t ime . Participant 817 is 29 years old and described himself as American. He was uncertain about his sema1 orientation and was single at the tirne of the interview, He was raised at different times in his youth by his father, stepmother, and aunt and uncle. His father died when he was in his junior year of high school -- he never knew his mother. He was abused by an older stepbrother. He had completed graduate/professional school and was working full- time. _ ------. Referenees
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