“Becoming a Mother Is Nothing Like You See on TV!”: a Reflexive Autoethnography Exploring Dominant Cultural Ideologies of Motherhood
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MORAN, EMILY JEAN, Ph.D. “Becoming a Mother is Nothing Like You See on TV!”: A Reflexive Autoethnography Exploring Dominant Cultural Ideologies of Motherhood. (2014) Directed by Dr. Leila E. Villaverde. 348 pp. Mothers in contemporary American society are bombarded with images and stereotypes about motherhood. Dominant cultural discourses of motherhood draw from essentialist and socially constructed ideologies that are oppressive to women. This study uses autoethnographic research methods to explore the author’s experiences becoming a mother. Feminist theory is utilized to analyze the themes, the silences, and the absences in the autoethnographic stories. Using a feminist theoretical lens allows the author to deconstruct the hegemonic ideologies that shape the experience becoming a mother. I examine the role of dominant ideologies of motherhood in my own life. I explore the practices of maternal gatekeeping paying particular attention to the role of attachment theory in shaping the ideology of intensive mothering. I argue that autoethnography as a research method allows writers and readers to cross borders so long as they practice deep reflexivity and allow themselves to be vulnerable. This research is similar to Van Maanen’s (1988) confessional tale, where the researcher writes about the process that takes place behind the scenes of the research project. In this project, I write an autoethnography and then I describe the process of analysis, vulnerability, and reflexivity while examining the themes and silences within the data. “BECOMING A MOTHER IS NOTHING LIKE YOU SEE ON TV!”: A REFLEXIVE AUTOETHNOGRAPHY EXPLORING DOMINANT CULTURAL IDEOLOGIES OF MOTHERHOOD by Emily Jean Moran A Dissertation Submitted to the the Faculty of The Graduate School at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree Doctor of Philosophy Greensboro 2014 Approved by Leila E. Villaverde Committee Chair © 2014 Emily Jean Moran To my husband and family for their unwavering encouragement and support. For my son, Noah who I love with all of my heart. This journey would not have been possible without you. ii APPROVAL PAGE This dissertation written by EMILY JEAN MORAN has been approved by the following committee of the Faculty of The Graduate School at The University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Committee Chair._____________________________________ Committee Members._____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ ____________________________ Date of Acceptance by Committee __________________________ Date of Final Oral Examination iii TABLE OF CONTENTS Page CHAPTER I. INTRODUCTION .................................................................................................1 Introduction and Overview of the Chapter ..................................................1 Statement of the Research Problem .............................................................2 Feminist Theoretical Framework ...............................................................11 The History of White Middle-Class American Mothering ........................13 “Are You Mom Enough?”: Media Messages and My Decision to Write an Autoethnography ................................................................18 Overview of the Chapters ..........................................................................21 II. CULTURAL IDEOLOGIES OF MOTHERHOOD: DOMINANT DISCOURSE & A REVIEW OF THE LITERATURE ................................25 Introduction and Overview of the Chapter ................................................25 Situating the Research................................................................................27 Ideological Formations, Hegemony, and Social Construction ..................29 Ideology of Patriarchy, Ideology of Technology, and Ideology of Capitalism as Central Threads of Motherhood ..................................33 Feminist Theories of Motherhood .............................................................37 Motherhood as Institution ..........................................................................40 A Philosophical Perspective: Maternal Thinking ......................................43 Care-Focused Feminism: Motherhood and Mothering ..............................47 Essentialism, Natural and Medical Discourses of Motherhood .................50 The Ideology of Intensive Mothering ........................................................52 New Momism, the Media and the Good Mother .......................................56 Cultural Scripts, Mediated Mom Labels, and Consumerism .....................59 Diverse Perspectives: Non-White Mothers, Lesbian Motherhood, Adoption, and Women Who Choose Not to Become Mothers .............63 The Mask of Motherhood: What Research Reveals When the Silence is Broken .............................................................................70 The Mommy Wars: Motherhood and the Workplace ................................75 Double Bind Messages and Cultural Contradictions .................................77 Motherhood, Graduate School, and the Ivory Tower ................................79 Mothers and Technology ...........................................................................81 Implications of the Research on Motherhood ............................................83 The Need for More Research: Filling the Gap with an Autoethnography of Motherhood ..........................................................84 iv III. REFLEXIVE AUTOETHNOGRAPHY AS RESEARCH METHODOLOGY: THE RESEARCHER AS EPISTEMOLOGICAL AND ONTOLOGICAL NEXUS .............................86 Introduction and Overview of the Chapter ................................................86 What is Autoethnography?: Defining the Hybrid Term ............................88 Methodological Approaches, Principles, and Goals of Autoethnography ..................................................................................90 Reflexive Autoethnography and Critical/Feminist Epistemology ........................................................................................93 Storytelling and Personal Narratives: The Process of Doing Autoethnography and Writing Stories as Witnessing and Sharing Testimony .................................................................................96 Evaluative Criteria for Autoethnography: Effective Autoethnography as Empirical Research ............................................100 The Role of Autoethnographic Stories in Cultural Foundations and Educational Research ...................................................................102 Reflexivity, Trustworthiness, and Generalizability in Autoethnographic Methods .................................................................105 A Study of Motherhood through Autoethnographic Research Methods: The Process and the Product ................................................108 Conclusion ...............................................................................................113 IV. AUTOETHNOGRAPHIC STORIES & REFLECTIONS: MY JOURNEY BECOMING A MOTHER .......................................................115 Introduction and Overview of the Chapter ..............................................115 Setting the Stage for Becoming a Mother: My Background ....................116 Finding out I Was Pregnant with Noah: An Unexpected Surprise ................................................................................................118 A Boy or a Girl: The Ultrasound .............................................................122 Pre-Baby Rituals ......................................................................................123 Noah’s Birth Story: “No pain medicine! ... Please give me the epidural!” ............................................................................................126 Breastfeeding: A Love-Hate Activity ......................................................138 Writing a Dissertation and Raising a Baby: Graduate School and Being a New Mom .......................................................................140 Noah’s Head Injury and Mommy’s Guilt ................................................141 I’m a mom! Noah is here! Why is no one around to help? ......................144 Mothering Alone? ....................................................................................146 Tuesdays with Nana .................................................................................149 Showers and Sleep ...................................................................................151 Intentional Buying: Mommy as Responsible Consumer .........................153 v Facebook Mommies: Sharing Your Status ..............................................154 A Few of My Favorite Things .................................................................155 Naptime, Schedules, and Efficient Mothering .........................................156 My Career Status: Stay at Home Mom or Part-Time Worker? ...............159 The Preschool Experience ........................................................................163 “I Hate Stay at Home Moms”: Working vs. Being a Stay at Home Mom ..........................................................................................167 I’m Ready to Go Back to Work Full-Time: Questioning My Beliefs about Motherhood ....................................................................170 From Preschool to Daycare: Choosing Education for Noah ....................172 Sharing the Decision