Václav Havel We Usually Stop, Examine the Statesman, the Artist Our Lives...And Ultimately 8 Horoscopes Determine That We’Re Powerless to Change It, Any of It

Your Guide to Prague...F I L M · F O O D · S T Y L E · D I V E R S I O N · MUSIC pull-out guide / programov / guide pull-out HAVEL plus d a o r b a s e o g THEWEEKEND WANDERER HOROSCOPES STUDENTGUIDE Ticketstream Z HRADU á příloha á a m r a d z / e e r f

January/Leden 2003 #01

PRAGUEPRAGUE JANUARY/LEDEN 2003

PUBLISHER Ann Lysek

SENIOR EDITOR Miguel Tuason

GRAPHIC DESIGNERS Douglas Rogers Miguel Tuason

THAT GUY Mervyn Murray

CONTRIBUTORS Lilian von der Ahe Ryan E Clontz Lenka Dostalková Jennifer Hamm Mark Hopkins Andrea Jurčová Ajay Madiwale Missed Manners Big Rock Joseph Silber Hilary St. John Mick Swiney

PHOTOGRAPHERS Thomas Boullé Ryan E Clontz Ajay Madiwale Douglas Rogers www.clubber.cz

ADDRESS Sokolská 22 120 00 Prague 2 Czech Republic

NEW EMAIL [email protected]

3 FROM THE EDITOR

Welcome to 2003. 5 Missed Manners As this time of year rolls-in, 6 FAREWELL Václav Havel we usually stop, examine The Statesman, The Artist our lives...and ultimately 8 horoscopes determine that we’re powerless to change it, any of it. And anyway, we’re The Meaning Of Life 10 thinkSTUDENT GUIDE having loads of fun living it.

So this month, think again 12 Weekend Wanderer wants to say, “Hey, it’s okay, America’s red-neck region rozumime.”

Spotlight From a deep look into the Meaning The PULL-OUT guide to your inevitable future of Life, to a meaningful tool into the beginning of school, this issue 15 FILM focuses on the way it is, right here, Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers right now... January Premieres Now it’s your turn! Tell us what 16 STAR RENTALS YOU’d like to see, and what YOU’d Super videos to make you feel like a kid again like not to see. And look in future issues and see what YOU said, in 17 FOOD print. FOUND: The BEST Chinese in Prague Radost F/X - Late night eating that keeps you healthy Send your letters to: think again 18 STYLE Sokolská 22 January Make-Over: NAIL IT DOWN 120 00 P2 Georgie’s Box Or email to: 19 DIVERSION [email protected] Crossword Book excerpt: Four Blondes All letters become the property of think again and may be edited for 20 MUSIC length or clarity. MELODYctionary Plastic People of the Universe CORRECTION: Due to printer-error in Weekend 22 NEbulous MOments Wanderer (December), the line: Kolín = Kutná Hora 26 theBACKpage should have been: Kolín =/ Kutná Hora We hope we didn’t offend anyone from either city.

Cover Designed by: Doug Rogers Issue #1

JANUARY2003 LEDEN i s s e d M M a n n e r s The Meaning Of Life new year, a new beginning. And But what about this life business, while perhaps, time to take stock anew of we are distinct, and conscious as ourselves? Does just what on earth we’re doing with our it have meaning? A lives. Just what, exactly, should we be No. doing anyway? What is the “meaning” of life? Not ultimately. But that does not mean it Here we are, grappling with what is doesn’t matter. probably the world’s most misphrased question. Some might conclude from all this that Life has no more inherent “meaning” than does a nothing matters but the way we perceive things tree. What is the “meaning” of a “tree,” we might – that reality is relative and many-sided and, thus, as well ask. the universal is amoral. While this may, strictly But let’s begin at the beginning. All speaking, be true, the relativity is concrete enough matter is 99.99% vacuum. The Universe itself is through the interconnectedness of all things to a sea of swirling matter/energy. And as the First make the behavior of one entity to another matter Law of Thermodynamics tells us, energy cannot profoundly. The Universe may be amoral, but as be created or destroyed – it merely changes forms. long as you’re standing here on two solid feet You, that table you are sitting at, the drink you’re you’d better behave, Buddy. Every other entity enjoying, the wall, your keys, your eyes, the air, light, – whether a fl y, a dog, or a chicken – has as much and heat – all are in motion on a quantum level right to its brief shining moment of consciousness and are mostly vacuum, mixed with ricocheting as we do: So do no harm, and help if you can. particles. (Which is why it is theoretically possible Alternatively, those with a nihilistic bent for you to pass your fi nger through the table might be tempted to conclude that nothing really or walk through a wall. If only all the colliding matters, since there may not be a God or other particles would politely get out of each other’s Supreme Being to reward and/or punish them for way, and allow their respective material substances their actions. But honestly, even if the teacher’s to merge. But I digress. We might just end up falling not looking, do you really want to throw Sally out though the fl oor anyway.) the window? Now an infi nitesimal portion of this We – along with other conscious entities vast, swirling matter/energy of the Universe – are the way the Universe looks at itself, grasps makes up organic life forms that are conscious. itself, appreciates itself. If we don’t enjoy it, who We perceive ourselves as distinct entities from all will? And what a dark universe indeed it would other things, and in relation to what is around us. be without enjoyment, without pleasure, without We are no longer At One with the all-swirling, a appreciation and wonderment. mere unconscious part of its motion. Hence the So enjoy it! Even the pain, if you can angst, and sometimes loneliness, that is conscious – study it, dissect it, experience it fully. It’s all so existence. fl eeting, and one day you will be utterly unaware But consider that your consciousness of any of this. We have the rest of eternity to be lasts for a mere blip relative to the life span of the profoundly oblivious. So thanks, Oblivion, I’ll take Universe. You get to be aware for a brief window a rain check. M of time, to look around and think, “Wow!” Then M your energy gets sucked right back into the swirling mass and ends up pushing planets around Questions? Dilemmas? as gravity, or light, or dust. Missed Manners professes to be a wealth of All major religions address this process. random tips, social and otherwise. No question Whether they refer to it as becoming One with too small, no inquiry too profound. the Universe, or being At One with Buddha Please send questions and musings to: consciousness, or playing harp with God in [email protected] heaven, it’s all the same idea: returning, after death, to the All. JANUARY LEDEN 5 farewell President Václav Havel Soon, the heart light will be turned off and with it, will go a remarkable and compelling era in Czech history: Václav Havel as the nation’s president.

he neon heart above Prague Castle, a replica of President Jacques Chirac, he’s made strong friendships tthe one Havel often draws under his signature, is part and alliances with leaders that helped bring his nation of his farewell as president, a position he’s held since greater prestige and power. But more than shaking just after the collapse of communism in 1989. Like the hands and throwing parties with other presidents, Havel president, the pulsing piece of modern art, which was has also done the roll-up-your-sleeves kind of work to put on display last November, has drawn a wide array of accelerate the Czech Republic being brought into the criticism and praise since the moment it appeared. western fold. There is perhaps no greater example than his lobbying efforts to secure the nation’s invitation to join the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. After first suggesting the idea to Clinton in 1993, Havel turned up his efforts in 1997. And in 1998, he went to Washington, D.C. to meet with politicians one-on-one Whatever your opinion of the playwright- to convince them of expansion. The following year, the cum-politician, or his heart, one thing is clear: the Czech Republic became among the first of the former country will not be the same when Havel steps down as communist nations to join NATO. Indeed, the staging president in early February. of last November’s NATO Summit here – the first And nowhere will that be more clear than in to be held behind the former Iron Curtain – was an the strength the Czech Republic will have on the western acknowledgement to Havel’s pull with his counterparts world’s radar screen. Havel is almost entirely credited in the west. During the two-day summit, Havel hosted with giving this small nation in central Europe a relatively a farewell dinner, in which he widely praised the dozens big voice in both Washington, D.C. and Brussels. Since of heads of state who attended. Chirac described Havel taking office as president of Czechoslovakia in 1990, as the “friendly, humble, soft but vivid light of the iron Havel has won-over three American presidents and man who, in the dark depths of jail, in the abyss of far more world leaders. Whether he was jamming with totalitarianism, never weakened.” It is this image of the President Bill Clinton or waxing philosophy with French dissident-playwright, who spent five years in jail, and was 6 dijon vu - the same mustard as before. Václav Havel the Playwright In today’s world, Havel is known primarily for his political involvement. As a result, we often take little notice of his accomplishments in the artistic realm. Prior to revolutionary political action, he surfaced to international fame as a playwright while working in Divadlo Na Zabradli (The Theater on the Balustrade) with the award winning play, The Garden Party (1963). Because of its success, Havel continued to write plays such as The Memorandum, The Increased Diffi culty of Concentration, and Redevelopment. The fact that his plays were fi lled with blatant political criticism caused many of them to be forbidden in Soviet Occupied Czechoslovakia. Due to private circulation and secret performances, however, his works were very infl uential for the dissidents and

PHOTO CREDITS: Karel Cudlín; Czech News Agency -intellectuals Oldřich Škácha of that time. Since becoming president, he has been unable to continue writing plays. Devotees are left to wonder if he plans to write again upon leaving offi ce. By Mark Hopkins

later exalted by the people to Prague Castle (“Havel Na Hrad”) that has captured the imaginations of western Europeans and North Americans and contributed to AANNAA the love affair they seem to have with him. Ironically, RR this persona has hurt him at home. In recent years, many Czechs have soured on Havel’s idealism and believe him to be out of touch and perhaps even egocentric. But now that Havel’s days in offi ce are numbered, Czechs are PA T wincing at the notion of the two most likely successors: K N IST RA Václav Klaus or Miloš Zeman. Both politicians, former TANI RESTAU leaders of the country’s most powerful political parties, Exotic cuisines no longer enjoy voter popularity and compared to Havel, of the ancient have relatively small standing on the world stage. (The president is elected through a vote in Parliament.) lands of Pakistan Delicious curries and tandoories Havel may be losing his title as president but he’s not giving up his name or the infl uence he carries. Provided his health does not continue to deteriorate, which many are worried it will, Havel stands poised to continue as a spokesman for his nation and this region. And as it faces entry into the European Union in 2004, he may be may more needed than ever. Na Dědince 12/515 180 00 Praha 8 tram stop “Vosmíkových” trams 25,24,10 reservations tel.: 721 809 084 or 726 199 080 open 12.00 - 23.00 By Jennifer Hamm 7 CAPRICORN AQUARIUS PISCES ARIES 22 Dec-19 Jan 20 Jan-18 Feb 19 Feb-20 Mar 21 Mar-19 Apr Saturn Uranus Neptune Mars Brown Turquoise Seafoam Green Red Now that you’ve You have got to give This is your time to shine. Dig a hole, bring your recovered from your to receive this month. It’s time to rub elbows with work and don’t come New Year’s festivities, Calling home, doing all those important people out until it’s finished. No it’s time to take some that favor for your friend you’ve been making a list news is good news this responsibility for your and a little extra work of. So buy a new outfit month. emotional well-being. around the flat will set and sell yourself. So pack your bags, you straight to enjoy the make your amends and stray that follows you take your friend to your home later. favorite tropical island.

Horoscopes

SAGITARIUS SCORPIO LIBRA VIRGO 22 Nov-21 Dec 23 Oct-21 Nov 23 Sep-22 Oct 23 Aug-22 Sep Jupiter Pluto Venus Mercury Purple Maroon Rosy Pink Blue This is the month to take A lock on your wallet and First half of the month Take notice of the little an interest in yourself. A LOT less excess and is spent nursing the things in life. When you Relaxation and a few impulsiveness will give wounds of a friend or are asked to go skydiving/ healthy habbits will get those budding ideas of family member. But it all rock-climbing/etc, GO! you farther than the walk yours room to bring you pays-off when your friend It will change your life home from the after- fortune and opportunity opens doos for you soon forever; you may even hours party. beyond what even a after. come back as a pair. Scorpio can imagine.

8 dijon vu - still the same mustard as before. TAURUS GEMINI 20 Apr-20 May 21 May-20 Jun Venus Mercury Olive Gray Keep your head screwed- Open your mind, explore on tight, stay sensible your creative side and and fight the urge to be find some interesting guided by emptions. A people to hang out with. small investment will An adventure awaits. pay-off big at the end of the month.

HoroscopesBy Ryan E Clontz Illustrations by Douglas Rogers

LEO CANCER 23 Jul-22 Aug 21 Jun-20 Jul Sun Moon Firey Orange Silver Get a hobby and spend Put that dream to paper. some time doing it with Stay focused and you’ll those closest to you. Too realize your dream in much work this month weeks, but don’t forget to could leave you with look up from the drawing enough money to have board at the end of the dinner alone every night. month or you just might miss your soulmate.

9 s t u d e n t g u i d e 2003think again would like to welcome the returning and new students to the first semester of 2003. We hope this guide makes the getting- to-know part that much easier... Compiled By Ajay Midawale Student Café PICKS Student Bar PICKS The Globe Scarlett’s Bar Pštrossová 6, P1 Mostecka 21, P1 tel: 224 934 203 tel: 257 532 649 This bookstore/cafe is designed for large study As Cheers-y as a bar off the Charles Bridge could groups. Big sturdy tables, inexpensive and decent possibly get. On all nights of the week, this place teams with English-speaking students. Damn food, plus ethernet ports for your laptop, make it the cheap (17Kč beer/wine, 35kc mixed drinks) during perfect place to cram before midterms. happy hour and reasonably priced all other times, this bar is perfect for when you’re in that “start Medusa drinking at two in the afternoon” mood. Belgická 17, Praha 2 This Vinohrady café offers a lot for students looking From Dusk ‘til Dawn for a relaxed atmosphere and quiet environment. Tynska 19, P1 Tables are almost always taken, so come early So American it’s nauseating; but that’s the charm of to grab a seat. Hands down the best bar-food in this old town bar. Loud music and an often rowdy Prague. Their Cheese Crackers taste like Cheez- crowd make this place a sure bet on a weekend its. night. Absolutely fantastic Cocktails. These super- friendly bartenders have talent! Try a Dry Gin Šiva Martini by Lukaš (one of the best I’ve ever had) or a Masna 8, Praha 1 Flaming Volcano. Halfway between náměsti Republiky and Staroměské náměsti, this cajovna/hookah bar is Zion Žižkov (ask around, you’ll fi nd it!) a great place to bring a book and while away the This hole in the wall is just that, a HOLE IN THE day. With over 100 selections of teas, imported WALL. It’s small, dirty and cheap. But if you like Lebanese wines and excellent Middle Eastern that, then this Žižkov bar will be everything you’re snack food, you’ll never want to leave. They offer looking for. Talented, amateur DJ’s spin excellent private, curtained rooms for larger groups. reggae/hip-hop on a regular basis. The great crowd is always willing to share, if not exactly fl uent in Dobra Trafi ka, English. Ujezd, P1 Korunni, P2 Ujezd With two convenient locations, this cafe works Ujezd 19, P1 perfectly for studying, reading or just hanging out. This Mala Strana three-fl oor dive is full of students Coffee and tea menus are extensive, and there are of all nationalities. The bartenders are fl uent few but tasty food options. Try the Iced Mocha. in English when they choose to be, so expect competition from the regulars when trying to order Café Louvre a drink. Nevertheless, the relaxed vibe and friendly Národni třida 20, P1 clientele consistently lend themselves to a good tel:224 930 949 time. If you want to study where Rudolph Steiner, Albert Marquis De Sade Einstein, and Franz Kafka held court, then this is Templova 8, P1 your place. With a staff that will leave you alone tel: 606 857 013 with one cup of coffee for three hours, this historic Though nothing like the name might imply, this cafe is meant for intellectual discourse. Carries former brothel now houses one of Prague’s most many English papers for free, and once you’re done famous bars. Prohibition style décor, two fl oors and studying, you can go play billiards at one of the fi ve extraordinarily high ceilings create Marquis’ unique tables available. American Lemonade served here. ambience.

10 Cell phones: Having a cell phone in Prague is vital. Obviously the safest, most reliable option for your mobile needs would be any of the Eurotel, T-Mobile, or Oskar stores found all over the city. But they are, by no means, the cheapest. For a more Internet Café PICKS: economical new or used (sketchy) phone, head to the bazaars at Národni třida or Karlovo náměsti. The Internet Mouse Example of savings: a phone that retails at Nokia Rumunská 9, P2 for 8665Kč was bought new with original box and tel: 222 521 273 sim card at Národni třida for 6100Kč. Just small and cozy enough for those times you want to surf for hours, this place offers the standard, high-speed internet connection (1Kč/ min) with ultra friendly service. Grocery Stores Well, assuming that unless you’re blind, you have Kava Kava Kava seen the Tesco at Národni třida. So here are your Platyz Passage, P1 other options: Located across the street from Tesco (Narodní třidá), this is an excellent place in the center of Carrefour Novy Smichov town with excellent coffees and pastries. Travel Anděl metro-tram stops one fl ight down for their internet terminals. Undoubtedly the biggest supermarket (and full-on shopping mall) near the center, Carrefour remains your best bet for comprehensive grocery shopping Bohemia Bagel similar to that found in western supermarkets. Ujezd and Stare Mesto (P1) tel: 224 812 560 24 hour Tesco Two great locations and big comfy couches put Zličin metro stop (+ transfer to bus) this place on this list despite its expensive 1.5kc For those late-night cravings for chevre, head way a minute charge. Prepaid discount cards are the fuck out on the yellow line to Zlicin. There you also available. Nab computer #15 in the ujezd will fi nd all your twenty four hour food needs met by location. the twenty four hour Tesco. Planeta Internet Cafe Vinohradská 102, P3 Taxis Extraordinarily cheap at 40h a minute, but as a Hailing a taxi in Prague is a bad idea. result always packed. Wait a little, save a lot. One, they’re sketchy; Two, you will get ripped off. No exceptions. Instead, order one via City Laundry and internet Café Korunni Taxi (233 103 310) or AAA (233 113 311). Korunni , P2 They come to the rescue with fast, reliable and Surf the net while your clothes dry, need I say inexpensive service. These taxi agencies are by more? Yes, because at 2kc a minute this is the far your best bet when you don’t want to take most expensive place I have listed. Still, I say the night tram. it’s worth it. Housing Libraries Most prearranged, student housing in Prague is a bit sub-par. So if you need more space, or if British Council that awful roomate is bugging you, then get your Národní 10, Praha 1 own place. Rent here can be very cheap...if you’re patient. There is an apartment for every Prague Municipal Library price range. Look in the newspapers (Annonce, Mariánské nám. 1, Praha 1 The Prague Post) for apartment listings. You can also try a number of websites like Library of the Academy of Science www.reality.cz, which is all in Czech, so have Národní 3, Praha 1 your slovník ready. If you are uncomfortable with tel: 221 403 280 that try www.happyhouserentals.com, which is in English. Be patient and allow yourself, at Technical Library least two or three weeks to fi nd a place. Happy Mariánské nám. 5 (Klementinum), Praha 1 Hunting.

11 The Weekend Wanderer The American Red-Neck Region goes abroad When visiting America’s legendary Bible Belt, here are a few random items you won’t want to be without: 1. The Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous 2. A bottle of Becherovka 3. Your meds

You may ask why the hell we didn’t go same shade of brown. The only thing keeping someplace interesting like New York or the countryside from being beautiful is the fact Chicago, but instead chose the less well-known that... well, it’s really fucking ugly. town of Tulsa, Oklahoma. We’re wondering the Weather in Tulsa when I arrive: 75° F (22° C). same thing ourselves. 8:30 pm Mom and Dad’s: Thursday, 7:25 am – 2:15 pm I arrive and greet my family, passing in and Getting There: out of jet lag-induced perplexity. My brother Unless you plan to swim or dig, the best way demands to know whether those communists to get to America is to fly. My route is American have warped my mind. Airlines via Paris. Cost: four months rent. This involves dinner, snack, and as many 9:00 pm AMC Cinemas: viewings of Austin Powers: Goldmember as Not wanting to sleep, I partake in the #1 you can cram into a ten-hour flight. You may pastime of Tulsa (next to drinking and driving): be tempted to order the salmon for dinner. If the multiplex. I see “The Two Towers.” A so, keep one of those handy wax-glossed paper before-the-movie preview shows a car bags nearby. commercial which consists of a helmeted driver racing a sedan through the streets of Pozor! They charge you for beer – she’s Prague. already poured it when I realize I don’t have “I live there,” I say out loud. “Shh,” say the any US currency. people behind me. Flight Attendant: “We also accept Euro.” “Yeah, like that Vin Diesel movie,” my Me: “I only have crowns”. brother volunteers. Flight Attendant: “What the hell’s a crown?” In the end she gives me the beer anyway. 1:00 am Across the Street: After months of Gambrinus, about the only Visiting neighbors Becky, forty-something, positive thing I can say about Heineken is that her daughter Carolyn, 19, and Carolyn’s three it’s wet. toddlers, smoking on the front porch. Cost: a dinner at Velryba. They ask where I live. “Prague,” I say. I arrive in Dallas, TX. My suitcase arrives in Chicago, IL. Becky: “Is that in the Panhandle?” Me: “No, the Czech Republic.” 3:00 pm – 8:00 pm Driving: Carolyn: (correcting me) “Czechoslovakia.” In America, everybody drives everywhere. Carolyn: “Are you doing missionary work over In Texas, everybody drives like a homicidal there, or are Christians allowed to roam free maniac on crack. I cross the border into without getting shot?” Oklahoma where I find trees, hills, rock Becky: “Yeah, Slobodan Milosevic. They speak formations, and lakes, all of which are the German over there?” 12 Politicians & diapers have one thing in common:... Me: “No, Czech.” Lunch The Corner Café: Becky: “What does it sound like?” Menu consists of omelettes topped with Me: “Strč prst skrz krk.” a pool of oil and stuffed with an orange Carolyn: “Sounds like Klingon.” substance resembling cheese, and glasses of We are joined by Carolyn’s husband Tim, 20. water (free!). We spend lunch trying to name He asks what their names would be in Czech. each of the ten Star Trek movies. “Beky?” I guess. “Karolyñ?” Jim asks where I live. “Prague,” I say. John: “That’s in Hungary, right?” I explain that the name ‘Tim’ is a lot like the Jim: “What? What??” Czech pronoun tím. “Like if you ask me how I John explains that a shortage of oxygen light my cigarette,” I say, and hold up my lighter. to Jim’s brain makes it difficult for him to “S tím, with this.” comprehend language. I silently hope that “See?” Tim tells his wife. “You do everything the same problem causes my failure to learn with me.” Czech.

Friday, 6:30 am Jet Lag: 5:00 pm Mom and Dad’s: I break open the present I brought for Mom I wake up early and can’t go back to sleep. and Dad, a bottle of Becherovka, and consume I mess with the showerhead for ten minutes several shots to deal with my Corner Café before I realize it doesn’t come off. omelette. My dad comes home from work with a 7:00 am – 12:00 pm Absolutely shopping bag, and announces that he has Nothing Happens. finally found a long searched-for Christmas present for my grandmother. I go see “The Two Towers” again. “Fantasticky,” I say. He pulls out a compact, heavy-duty flashlight. 12:30 pm High School Buddies: “I think she might like it,” he says. I meet up with old friends John, a dual- diagnosis counselor at a rehab center, and Saturday, 7:00 am – 12:00 pm Jim, a dual-diagnosis inpatient in treatment for substance abuse and schizophrenia. They take Absolutely Nothing Happens. me to an AA Meeting. I go see “The Two Towers” again. 13 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm concluded their services, since On the Road: most of the crowd seems to be I drive to the nearby college improvising various hymns and town of Stillwater to help sermons for each other’s benefit my friend Joan pack up her as they wait in line. apartment. Oklahoma radio As we eat, Gramma asks me stations keep us company all about the Czech language, along the way with the following begging me to demonstrate hit songs: some for her. “Smokin’”, Boston “Strč prst skrz krk,” I say. “I Remember You”, Skid Row “That certainly sounds foreign,” she replies. “The Hanukkah Song,” Adam Sandler “Unseasonably high temperatures throughout Evening Patrick’s: the day...”, the radio continues. Located in a strip mall, the outside of the On the way we pass a number of oil wells bar could be just another shop selling potpourri – none of which are pumping. Finally a roadside and greeting cards; the inside looks like an sign approaches, spelling the ‘w’ in “Stillwater” with airport terminal with a bigscreen showing what is clearly an upside-down lowercase ‘m’. football. I play shuffleboard with a guy named Jack, Afternoon Stillwater: who tends bar next door and has just finished There is absolutely nothing of interest which work. He points out various cowgirls in the bar, can be said about this town. Local attractions each of whom he claims is giving him “a Fuck are Eskimo Joe’s bar and grill, self-proclaimed Me look”, and offers to “split” them with me. as “Stillwater’s Jumpin’ Little Juke Joint”, and He stares, open-mouthed, as each woman the Git ‘n’ Gallup convenience store. My eventually leaves. personal favorite is the highway exit leading back to Tulsa. Last Night in Town Mom and Dad’s: Evening Back in Tulsa: I drink several poorman’s speedballs when I sit with Joan at her favorite restaurant, I suddenly run out of cigarettes. Rather than the International House of Pancakes, the U add to the mobs of drunk drivers on the streets, Fleku of the Plains States, and talk about her I decide to walk to the nearest gas station. I pregnancy. A waitress serving a nearby table realize an hour later why everyone drives of truck drivers overhears and points to Joan’s everywhere. cigarette. “Women who smoke when they’re pregnant got a 98% chance a havin’ retarded Monday, All Day Long Getting babies,” she says. Home: I spend five painfully hungover hours by car Sunday, 10:00 am Saint Mary’s: to Dallas. By the ten-hour flight to Paris a bizarre Church with the family. A historical shortage cold has set in. I spend the 3-hour layover of African-Americans has not prevented the white recovering from the salmon, and sleep for the middle-class housewives in the church choir from next hour and a half to Prague. When I wake up, we are descending rapidly singing a number of African-American spirituals. through fog so solid I can barely make out the A flautist provides backup with Jethro Tull-esque wing of the plane through the window. We land disco solos. in an airport which looks vaguely familiar, but I continue to spend the first half hour of my arrival 12:00 pm Lunch with Gramma: convinced I have landed in Finland by mistake. We go to the Piccadilly Restaurant, a typical It’s not until now, on the bus from the airport to Sunday push-your-tray-along-a-metal-rack-and- Dejvická, that I’ve started relaxing back into the choose-meals-such-as-chicken-pot-pie-from- voices and images of Prague... again so new, again so welcome. behind-protective-glass cafeteria. It is obvious that several local charismatic churches have just By Mick Swiney

14 ...they should both be changed regularly & for the same reason. MOVIE PICK

The Lord of the Rings series’ second installment is a reminder that movies this cool fit into their own category – the only real criticism anyone can muster about the series is that you have to wait a year to see the next one. “The Two Towers” is no exception: the film portrays the defense of Rohan, a nation of horse masters which represents one of the last “free” human kingdoms in Middle Earth, against the ethnic Lord of the Ring: cleansing efforts of the evil wizard Sauruman The Two Towers (Christopher Lee) and his army of scary-looking Pan prstenu: Dve veze Uruk-Hai. A rather simple plot, you might argue, for a three- USA 2002, adventure hour film, and you’d be right ... the majority of the Director movie is spent on nothing other than good old- Peter Jackson Starring fashioned ass kicking. Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, But of course there are slower moments, subplots Viggo Mortensen such as the darker side of Aragorn’s (Viggo Premieres Mortensen) relationship with Arwen (Liv Tyler), 16 January 2003 and especially Frodo Baggins’ (Elijah Wood) BOTTOM LINE growing heroin addict-style ring fever, every scene of which is stolen by the computer-animated BIG thumbs up – I’ve already got the Special Gollum (Andy Sirkis), a creature with even bigger puppy-dog eyes than Wood – which is a good Edition DVD on next year’s Xmas list. thing. Even with these precious breathers, you’ll still crawl out of the theater physically exhausted... R A T I N G A + it’s that intense. By Mick Swiney

January Film Premieres Die Another Day / Dnes Mies vailla menneisyytt / The neumirej Man Without a Past/ Muz bez The 51st State / Predpis 51 VB, 2002, action minulosti USA, GB, comedy Dir. Lee Tamahori Finland, Germany, France, 2002, Dir. Ronny Yu Star. Pierce Brosnan, Halle Berry, drama Star. Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Rick Yune Dir. Aki Kaurismaki Carlyle, Meat Loaf Prem. 2 January Star. Markku Peltola, Kati Outinen Prem. 23 January Prem. 9 January Full Frontal / Hollywood, Sweet Home Alabama / Holka Heaven / Nebe Hollywood na roztrhani USA, Italy, GB, France, Germany USA 2002, comedy USA 2002, romantic comedy 2002 Dir. Steven Soderbergh Dir. Andy Tennant Dir. Tom Tykwer Star. Julia Roberts, David Star. Reese Witherspoon, Josh Star. Cate Blanchett, Giovanni Duchovny, Brad Pitt Lucas Ribisi Prem. 2 January Prem. 9 January Prem. 30 January

...they should both be changed regularly & for the same reason. 15 A long time ago, you saw these movies. You can see them again without traveling to a galaxy far, far away...

SPIDERMAN / Some of us may have grown up reading about this super hero in the comic books; finally, he has come to life together with all of the characters we love. Fans won’t be disappointed with this movie, for it sticks to the comic nicely. Those who aren’t familiar Miguel Tuason with Spiderman will have something to look forward to as this classic super hero saves New York City

from the infamous Green Illustration by Goblin. If you like this film, check out X-Men, another Inc. will have you quoting dark Lords. This movie not be the best, but you movie adapted from the lines to your co-workers is amazing, and though it still wish you were born comics. like a three-year-old child. goes on for three hours, in a wizard family. Catch Shrek is a contemporary, you still can’t get enough the second installment STAR WARS Episode II: silly fairy tale. Ice Age of it. Unfortunately it in teaters now. There is Attack of the Clones / is just like the cartoons leaves one wondering nothing like Harry Potter to nobody hasn’t heard you watched as a child. what will happen in the give you the motivation to of Star Wars, and this Nothing like these three next film, Twin Towers, go back to school! movie is the second in animated films can make which opens this month. the prequel. It’s almost you feel young again. And While you wait, content E.T. the Extra Terrestrial like watching the very if you liked these, there yourself with Willow and / The movie we all loved. first ones (which are in are more: Toy Story (1 and The Never Ending Story if A special edition has just actuality the fourth, fifth 2), Antz and A Bug’s Life. you like this film. come out making all of us and sixth ones). If you can All are computer-animated who watched this fantastic withstand the script, the and bring a smile on your HARRY POTTER and the movie as a kid want to see movie is actually good, face. Philosopher’s Stone / it again. Remember when once you are in the mood. Reading the book makes you were a child and you Yoda’s light-saber battle THE LORD OF THE RINGS: you feel young again. found an alien? Well, now kicks ass! The Fellowship of the Ring Reading all the books you can relive the memory / Whenever you’re feeling does. Watch Harry Potter at with this film. There is ICE AGE, SHREK and down and stressed-out his first year at Hogwart’s nothing out there quite MONSTERS, INC. / the by adult life, pop in the School of Witchcraft and like it. new computer animation video and pull yourself Wizardry, making friends these three movies are into a magical world with and fighting giant trolls. the best yet! Monsters, Hobbits, Elves, and evil The special effects may By Hilary St. John

16 RESTAURANT PICK

FOUND: the best Chinese in Prague

By Miguel Tuason Čínská Restaurace po Sečuansku Kodanská 47, P10 tel: 271 726 693 Since arriving in this city, every trip into a establishment is that every bite of my delicious Cubed Chinese restaurant had resulted in disappointment. Chicken Kung Pao (105Kč) included a diced piece of That’s bound to happen, especially for those of us who choice chicken meat (breast and thigh). Too often have have a very specifi c taste when it comes to Chinese I ordered diced chicken dishes which only contained cuisine. And for me, no place had hit the mark in the the “throw-away” bits of the chicken: fat and cartilage; past, not even close – and I’ve tried many. Finally, I sometimes, it didn’t even taste or look like chicken. found it; the one and, so far, only restaurant in Prague My companions had the Curry Chicken that prepares food in that distinctly western style I’d been (105Kč) and the Chicken with bamboo shoots and missing: big portions, not too spicy and even a little bit mushrooms (119Kč). Three clean plates at the end. sweet. That restaurant is ČÍNSKÁ RESTAURACE PO They also offer an extensive weekday lunch menu with SEČUANSKU. Formerly located on Národní třida, the dishes starting at 59Kč. restaurant has just reopened, now in the cozier Vršovice The decor is clean, spacious and will certainly neighborhood. fi t large groups comfortably. Basically, it looks just like It’s diffi cult to explain this western-style of every Chinese restaurant you’ve ever visited in your life, Chinese cooking. It has to do with dishes being served complete with a life-size fountain. But when the food without (or at least with only small amounts) of mono- is THIS good, you hardly notice anything else. And the sodium glutamate (msg) or L-glutamic acid – a toxic, staff is just as comfortable speaking in English as in unnatural, headache-inducing food seasoning known to Czech, making short-timers and tourists feel as equally cause the “China restaurant syndrome” (not to mention at home as the Pražak. high-blood pressure). Basically, a dish bathing in msg usually tastes delicious when you begin eating, but will BOTTOM LINE soon taste like pure salt; fi nally, you’ll be unbelievably thirsty. You’ll walk-away from that meal completely If you miss Chinese cooking as you remember it from home, unsatisfi ed. I don’t claim that this restaurant uses no this is the place for you. Go. Now. Today. msg, I didn’t ask; but they certainly don’t overuse it. Another reason I confi dently recommend this R A T I N G A + Radost F/X New Kid On The Block

With a great new atmosphere, this nuevo Mexican take-out joint is actually good. The “fresh” is there because everything’s fresh; from the tortillias to the salsa. Dishes start at only 49Kč, and they’ve ThoughThough l late-nightate-night d diningining o optionsptions i inn P Praguerague h haveave b beeneen r ratherather limitedlimited inin thethe got a vegetarian menu too. We hear past. think again is happy to see more and more establishments popping- that there are plans to start delivery up around town which cater to our 3am cravings. But RADOST F/X, with its soon. We can’t wait. imaginative menu, chill atmosphere and handsome staff, continues to be one of our prefered final-stops after a long night, especially now when the nights are so bloody long. Meat-eater’s recommendation: Sloppy Joe Revoluční 4, P1 tel: 222 322 022 RADOST F/X, Bělehraská 120, P2 tel: 224 254 776 17 LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR BAD NAILS JANUARY MAKE-OVER

By Ann Lysek Nail It Down It’s 5pm on a Saturday; and we’re sitting in a bar drinking copious BEFORE amounts of coffee because it’s just too early to start drinking beer. “No one wrote in for the make-over,” I tell the girls. I stare down at my 1/2 green mis-shapen nails that look as if I have been digging my own metro. “A manicure,” we cry in unison. So it’s off to Kotva, armed with a camera. The “artiste” at the first floor beauty shop agrees to do a manicure even though we don’t have an appointment. She begins by cutting, evening-out and painfully fixing the cuticles. Then, after buffing and filing, she applies two coats of our Color of the Month, Pearl. 20 minutes and 310Kč later, I feel like a new woman. And finally, it’s now late enough to start drinking. AFTER

Acknowledgements: Make-Over by: o ----- Alexo Kadeřnictví Kosmetika Nehtové Studio ------Kotva first floor / Nám. Republiky 8, P1 Georgie’s Box Appointments: 603 221 152 nails 224 801 444 / studio 224 801 620 o Mon-Fri 09-20h / Sat and Sun 10-18h Don’t be too quick to say, “out with the old” in Photos by: the new year. Take your Michelle old jeans and transform them into a hip-hugging IT’S YOUR TURN and indeed very hip jean In 50 words or less, tell us why you’d skirt. It’s easy. Just cut the inseam all the way up like to change your look. Enclose a to the zipper, determine picture and send a letter to: the length of your slip think again and sew together. You can do this to any old Sokolská 22 trousers too. 120 00, P2 (no email entries please)

18 The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time... WE DARE YOU TO USE A PEN

By Tiffany

The author and publisher of this crossword puzzle are both well aware that it does not follow the guidelines of “Simon & Schuster.” So just look past that and enjoy!

ACROSS 1. Built Motion 4. You’re my only ______8. Correct 9. Popcorn ______11. Spectacle glass 12. Betty ______14. ______Town 15. Playground Seats 18. Beer Measurement 20. Sullivan and Wood 21. British Bum 23. Raffle Tickets 24. Tear off 25. Legal Trial DOWN 19. Largest Plants 26. “Tak” in Czech 1. Mass Of Hair 21. ______on the back 27. Line-up a shot 2. Requires 22. A Few 28. Horse named Mr. ______3. More Than One Idiot 23. Household Pest 30. Agreement 4. Assists 26. Gap 32. It All ______5. Personal Poem 29. Leaders 36. Expert 6. Discontinued Ford 31. Come to an End 38. Sticky Material 7. Foreign Beings 33. Challenge 39. Action Film Must 10. Factories 34. Water Tone 43. T_____ Spelling 12. States a Price 35. Up to Standard 44. Emerald Isle 13. Original Gangster 37. Cole Cut Middle 45. Not Shared 14. Observer 40. ______de Janeiro 46. Takes Back 15. Spanish Pineapple 41. Boston Red ______47. Leave 17. Wild Plant 42. Become Solid Crossword answers found on page 26. January Book Excerpt Janey smiled and pushed her hair back. She turned onto her stomach, swinging one leg up. She put her head in both hands. Her expression was serious, but not too serious. She looked directly at the camera. “I guess you could say...I don’t know where I’m going.” She paused a second for effect. “But I know I’m going somewhere.”

Available at Shakespeare And Sons Bookstore and Cafe

...but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. 19 MUSICALITY TODAY

melodyCTIONARY A GLOSSARY OF PUNK Since the early beginnings of punk, the styles and types of music that can be called “punk” have become numerous. Here is a brief list to help you figure it all out.ey a r y 77’ PUNK: This is punk in its most basic form. Bands playing this style will be reminiscent of such early acts as The PUNK AND ROLL: Clash, The Sex Pistols and The Ramones. Without a doubt, Social Distortion can be considered the flagship band of this category. By mixing traditional STREET PUNK: rock styles with punk attitude and angst; and throwing- This beer-fueled anthem-laden punk had its origins in in a healthy dose of showmanship, bands such as this the 80’s Oi! movement from England. Street punk is and Turbo Negro have taken this type of punk to a popular with the mohawk set as well as the skinheads. whole new level. Current examples include The Dropkick Murphys, Oxymoron and 80’s veterans such as GBH and The EMO: Business. Drawing its moniker from the emotional content of its lyrics and musical force, this offshoot of punk dates- HARDCORE: back to the band Fugazi, and has grown to be almost Originally from Washington, DC, this sound grew to be as wide in musical scope as punk itself. Bands such popular all across the eastern seaboard of the United as The Alkaline Trio, Planes Mistaken For Stars and States of America and then swept Europe. Hardcore quite a few Czech bands such as Lvmen fall into this groups include “tuff guy” bands like Slapshot and category. Agnostic Front; as well as non “tuff guy” acts like Strike Anywhere and As Friends Rust. STRAIGHTEDGE: This movement takes its name from the title of a Minor POP PUNK: Treat song. Followers of the straightedge ethic shun Probably the most radio-friendly of the bunch; bands alcohol, tobacco, drugs and even premarital sex. Is it like Bad Religion, Die Toten Hosen, NOFX and The any wonder why it is characteristically angry? Offspring, have been making this style party music for many years and provided many fans entry to the world of punk. By Big Rock

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20 Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Aj obešel já polí pět Plastic People of the Universe Agon Orchestra, Club Roxy - 15.12.02 Accompanied by the 20-piece Agon Orchestra, the Plastic People of the Universe recreated a 1979 concert celebrating the work of poet Ladislav Klíma. The original show was, like most in the band’s first twenty years, an exercise in subverting the Communist authorities, and those who attended it knew it was something of an event. The Roxy show was well- publicized and sponsored by Česká Spořitelna. (In fact there was a huge Česká Spořitelna banner spread out on the Roxy’s eastern wall.)

Times have indeed changed. kadeřnický salon / hair salon The 1979 show, a remastered recording of which Call now for an appointment: was available at the merchandise counter, featured an 2 2482 7373 602 171 016 audience respectful of the band and the event, and the Contact: circumstances attendant to it. In contrast, much of the [email protected]á Štupartská 9. 110 00. Praha 1 Roxy audience couldn’t find the patience to shut up www.jameshair.czotviraci doba / open hours: contact: and listen. ut/tue - pa/fri 8-20 hod. [email protected] The Agon Orchestra specializes in experimental sob/sat 9-17 hod. www.jameshair.cz compositions and has in its repertoire pieces for retuned instruments and vast amounts of percussion. They were a good match for augmenting the Plastic People’s combination of jazz, rock, and noise in this evening’s endeavor. The texts themselves were read, whispered, or screamed by PPU frontman/saxophonist Vratislav Brabenec in between blasts of controlled chaos from the orchestra. The flow of the performance was disturbed, however, by the occasional retirement of the principle members of the PPU, Brabanec, to a table set with pitchers of water and beer while the orchestra took over. Additionally, it was hard to tell when the performance had concluded. After the introductions of several soloists, much of the orchestra left the stage while the conductor and some others remained at the table and some music was still flowing from the stage. The music itself while flowing in many ways would have benefited from more structure in delivery and a different performance space. Given the nature of the material and its history, Aj obešel já polí pět would have been better suited to a theater rather than a club. In a venue with seats, the audience might have been induced to give the music the respect it deserved and the band might have been inclined to give the music some boundaries. By Joseph Silber 21 GET TRAINED! New Year’s Eve Party Train to Olomouc

LORD OF THE RING Silvestr 2002 Roxy Praha

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24 A day without sunshine is like night. thanks for the memories...

25 theBACKpage

Drink of the Month Desperately Seeking...

Drunken Irish Iced Coffee (As seen in “The Weekend Wanderer”)

Poor one cooled shot of espresso over ice in a tall glass, mix in a tablespoon of dark brown sugar (optional), add one shot of Jamesons and then one shot of Baileys, top it off with a dollop of whipped cream.

When you’ve had more than three of these drinks, the name changes to: “Po’Mans speedball.” think again proudly presents our monthly free personals. CROSSWORD ANSWERS (from page 19) Send us your own personal ad (up to 20 words) to be printed in our next issue. Please select ONE of the following categories:

MEN SEEKING WOMEN WOMEN SEEKING MEN MEN SEEKING MEN WOMEN SEEKING WOMEN ANYTHING GOES

EMAIL TO: [email protected]

All ads are accepted at the discretion of the publisher and become the property of think again magazine.

cut-out coupon! think again & Chilly’s present Salsa Extravaganza Friday, 17 January; 21h - ?

Snacks Performance by Vranoha Tombola, The Wonder Wheel CHILLY’S bar restaurant club Vladislavova 18, P1 NEXT MONTH: tel: 224 949 305 The holidays Down-Under must involve a lot of plastic trees 50% OFF ENTRY WITH THIS COUPON and spray snow...but at least it’s warm! Watch for our February issue and get your minds off Prague’s deep freeze.

26 In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.