Yusuf Qureshi

This candidate did not supply a manifesto.

Candidate Manifestos: Union President

Jiangxuan Chen

This candidate did not supply a manifesto. Yusuf Qureshi

This candidate did not supply a manifesto. CandidateYusuf Qureshi Manifestos: Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) This candidate did not supply a manifesto. Candidate Manifestos:Candidate Union Manifestos: President Union PresidentCandidate Manifestos:Candidate Union Manifestos: President Union President Thomas Bacarese- organisation and development role as too opaque. I will ensure that all relevant Management Group Chair for ICSM. information is released in a way which Hamilton My experience has given me valuable you are able to understand. Jiangxuan Chen Jiangxuan Chen Imperial College Union is proud to hostJiangxuan insight into Chen areas where we doJiangxuan really Chen over 350 clubs and societies, all run by well and three main areas which I Management- You have long ISSUE 1659 ... the UnionThis Elections candidate did issue not supply a manifesto.This candidate did not supply a manifesto.an incredibly valuable volunteer baseThis candidatewould like did to not develop supply (and a manifesto. formThis a candidate complaineddid not supplyFRIDAY about a manifesto. minibuses, 3 MARCH storage 2017 Harry- our students Collini - willing to commit so convenient acronym): and room bookings. I will review how Thismuch candidate to ensure did not their supply success. a manifesto. we manage club amenities to ensure Training- You say you have felt under- that you are able to get the maximum I want not only to represent all of Jamesprepared Targett for your volunteer roles, sorunning I available. over 200 shows/events at entertainments committee -- More Live these volunteers, but to also make will ensure that appropriate training imperial,is with societies, the bar, and the Music REDUCE CLUB ADMIN BURDEN Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Education)improvements so that everyone canI’m Jamie.tailored I’ve been for all at students, Imperial allowingfor youEvents-and-Conferences to For my full manifesto, team and -- Beingto ask -- Improve eActivities’ usability -- Make enjoy their clubs and societiesCandidate as much7 years, feelnow confident I’m runningManifestos: in yourfor DPFS. roles. at ImperialDeputyquestions, as an Undergrad, visit President https://votetom.wixsite. 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Decide your nextinto Constituent practice byConstituent becoming a Student Roy Talinternational Dew Union! tour to Prague. structure of the council and improve would conduct meetings in smaller for ordinary students to propose and positions have given me appropriate university rather than being restricted to these limitations. I’ve been the groups to create a more open experience in voicing the opinionsTrustee. of vote for union policies. The Chair is Union President imperial andthe Committee loudestcollege voices. Despite union. the Council imperial beingorg/ a crucialvote collegeAcademicunion. 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However, the Council by12:00, advertisingCouncil importantFriday is the democratic 3 March medium my school12:00, for four. I believeFriday that these 10 Marchwould incentivise input across the entire the current lack of awareness and the gap between the student bodyresponsible and forinformation everything on that social the media, suchwill ashelp guide an even more successful now. for ordinaryUnion. students Vote toWaite! propose and positions have given me appropriate university rather than being restricted to the Council. In order to achieveUnion this, I does, deciding its vision and Visit our website to vote and get more information on all the positions and candidates. intimidating atmosphere of Council Voting opens Visit our website Facebook.to vote and get I’m more confident informationvote on this allfor the union wouldpositions policies. and candidates. The Chair is experience in voicing the opinions of the loudest voices. suggest putting in place a simplevalues. and meetings does not facilitate appropriate provide the average studentresponsible with fora governing the flow the student population to authority anonymous platform for students to imperialcollegeunion.org/elections representation of the student body. imperialbetterVotingcollege understanding opensunion. of informationunionorg/ policy- betweenelections the Council figures. If elected, I would deal with the Lastly, I hope to raise awareness about 12:00propose their, motions.Friday Additionally, 3 IMarch As Chair, I would strive to reshape the making. and the Officer Trustees. However, problem of intimidation by bridging the Council by advertising important 12:00, Fridaythe current lack 3 of March awareness and the gap between the student body and information on social media, such as intimidating atmosphere of Council the Council. In order to achieve this, I Facebook. I’m confident this would Voting closes meetings does not facilitate appropriate suggest putting in place a simple and provide the average student with a Your voteVoting will closesrepresentation create of the changestudent body. anonymousthat platform for students to better understanding of union policy- 12:00, Friday 10 March As Chair, I would strive to reshape the propose their motions. Additionally, I making. makes12:00 a difference, Friday 10 atMarch Imperial. Vote online at Who willVote you online choose at to take the lead? imperialcollegeunion.org/vote Voting opensimperialcollegeunion.Votingorg/ closesvote You can also vote on your mobile phone! Visit bit.ly/voteicuYou can alsothrough vote on your mobile phone! Visit bit.ly/voteicu through your phone’s browser. 12:00, Fridayyour 3phone’s March browser. 12:00, Friday 10 March

Visit our website to vote and get more information on all the positions Visitand ourcandidates. website to vote and get more information on all the positions and candidates. imperialcollegeunion.org/ electionsimperialcollegeunion.org/elections 2 felixonline.co.uk [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 felix EDITORIAL My manifesto

ello everyone. My name is Lef. Some I pledge to listen to YOU. All of you. All the time. of you might know me from my reign of Your dreams, your fears, your private desires. I want terror as felix editor. Others might have to be in your head. Or, at least in your house. I promise spotted me making short sustenance to bug every student’s accommodation and spend runs to the union or the JCR (dem buns resources to monitor the feeds. Non-stop. tho...) and might have admired my But, perhaps most importantly, I promise to correct Hluscious locks or strong eye-liner game. Regardless of the gender-ratio skew. I will end the awkward nights in your relationship with me, sexual or platonic, I’m here Metric, where single women are surrounded by packs to present my case to you and convince you to ‘elect’ of hungry men. There will be no gender inequality in me as your malevolent, tyrannical Dragon Emperor this institution. I have no interest in women, so they Supreme. will all be banned and Imperial will become an all- First of all I will rename the Union, the ‘State’. The boys university. The dress-code will be shirt-optional. State and I will be one and the same. I will make the On Friday, we’ll wear leather. I will smash the glass role hereditary. The elections will be replaced by ceiling, and rebuild the entire university out of glass. gladiatorial tournaments (these are purely for my Also felix will basically become Dazed and every pleasure, and serve no electoral function), which will page will be a new-age arty centrefold. You’re conclude in foam parties. welcome. No student will be left unfed. The streets will run Vote Lef 4 malevolent, tyrannical Dragon Emperor beige with curly fries and sweet potato fries will fill Supreme. No one will listen to you as closely or as your plates and your stomachs (beverages will cost carefully as I will. Vote Lef, vote experience, vote extra). leather.

Editor-in-Chief | Lef Apostolakis || Deputy Editor | Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi || News Editor | Matt Johnston, Joanna Wormald || Comment THE Editors | Vivien Hadlow, Tessa Davey, Jonathan Masters || Culture Ringmaster | Fred Fyles || Culture Editors | Indira Mallik, Meryl Anil, Anurag Deshpande, Theo Farah, Simran Kukran || Puzzles Editor | Hamish Beck || Clubs & Societies Editor | Abigail de Bruin || Science TEAM Editor | Lizzie Riach, Ipsita Herlekar || Millennials Queen | Tessa Davey || Millennials Editors | Saad Ahmed, Sanjay Battacharaya, Matt Johnston || Sports Editor | Sam Smith || Illustrator | Nathan Macabuag || Copy Chief | Mattin Mir-Tahmasebi || Copy Editors | Sandra Bruderer, , Alex Adler, Aishwarya Pattar, Anna Shukla || Cover | Lef Apostolakis ||Editorial Pic | ChemSoc

Address | felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London, SW7 2BB || Telephone | 02075948072 || Printed by | Mortons Media Group Ltd Media Centre, Morton Way, Horncastle, Lincolnshire, LN9 6JR || Registered Newspaper | ISSN 1040-0711 || Copyright © felix 2016 Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 3 NEWS felix Where did all the election candidates go?

Lef Apostolakis Could marketing efforts be behind poor nomination numbers?

lukewarm \\ There are only Union President, Nas as last year in the time leading \\ I am saddened candidate Andriopoulos said: “All of the to the closure of nominations. turnout marks 21 students running sabbatical roles, including “I can’t say they started it late, that more students the beginning for sabbatical ICSMSU President and but compared to previous have not nominated of this year’s FELIX, are contested and years, the marketing came Leadership positions \\ have some strong candidates out a lot later. They did only themselves \\ AElections, as revealed by the from various backgrounds do workshops around the last publication of the manifestos within the Union. Following week of nominations. I can see earlier last Monday, after Services in the first round of last year’s bumper crop of that affecting people on the Trustee positions so the role nominations closed on Sunday elections last year. candidates, I am saddened border of running or [people is technically uncontested). Despite boasting over 700 This year in comparison, that more students have not who are] not Union-involved, But it’s also a bad year for candidates and “Britain’s most there are only 21 students nominated themselves, and I because it takes longer to Constituent Unions, with active student democracy”, running for sabbatical am especially disappointed convince these people to do it. only six students running for representation for some of positions. From those, only that more of the Presidential Quite often these are some of President across all constituent the major positions has been thirteen can realistically be candidates did not submit a the people who would be best unions (ICSMU is considered disappointing. considered serious candidates. manifesto. It is obviously less for the job because they have a sabbatical position and not Last year, saw a record Particularly in the case of than ideal for our democracy, the right amount of self-doubt taken into account here). The breaking 32 candidates Union President, arguably but none of these elections are to push themselves. They tend Presidential roles of the RCSU running for one of the full- the most prestigious role appointments and I would like to entirely do it because they and RSMU are uncontested. time sabbatical positions, available, only one candidate to remind voters that they can care and they love it.” On the plus side, we’re including eleven students has bothered supplying a vote to Re-open Nominations This year also marks a seeing a spike of interest in contesting the Union President headshot or a manifesto, with (RON)” five year low for Council the Liberation roles, including role and nine contesting the the rest having presumably One Union source that would Chair and Student Trustee two candidates contesting Deputy President Welfare role missed the deadline. Though like to remain anonymous candidates, with only two the newly established (DPW). On the other hand, no since, four candidates have blames it on marketing efforts, students contesting each Mental Health Officer role. one actually ran for Deputy oficially pulled out of the race. which haven’t been as strong role (there are two Student Andriopoulos said: “One of President for Finance and We reached out to them to the most pleasing things about enquire on the reasons behind this set of elections is the their incomplete campaign number of candidates running \\ Representation but have not received any for Liberation Officer roles, comment.Whether this will which now includes the new for some of the work to the advantage of the Mental Health Officer. All of major positions candidate who has provided these positions are contested a manifesto, or to their by some very experienced, has been detriment, causing a RON (re- passionate candidates and disappointing \\ opening of nominations) vote this suggests good things for cascade remains to be seen. 700 candidates isn’t quite as impressive as they’d have you believe \\ campaigning in the future.” Imperial College Union

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Join the news team [email protected] SEND NEWS 4 felixonline.co.uk/news [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/news 5 felix NEWS NEWS felix How many Union policies are still active? Can students bear London’s housig crisis? Stephen Naulls takes you through recent political developments aiming at tackliong the country’s Lef Apostolakis Less than half according to the website but is that true? housing crisis while discussing how students are affeted and what they can expect.

he Union has fallen \\ Though some of which allows our exchange It’s that time of year again. of demand through huge behind maintaining the expired policies students to join clubs and The ‘Private Housing Event’ \\ No government infrastructure developments, up to date policies participate in Union events invitation has appeared on has built enough the only solution for people responsible for have become and activities. Facebook, your housemates on low incomes is to seek managing a range redudant...others This remains an assumption are suspiciously quiet about homes for decades social housing – the only of issues, from though as the only way that looming deadline to now\\ option left available at a TEquality of Opportunities remain essential for to find out is by looking renew your tenancy, and the reasonable price. But with to Club Society and Project through the Board of Trustees thought of going through the 1.8 million people currently (CSP) Equipment. managing minutes (warning: they are whole process again makes on the waiting lists for social A felix investigation found the Union’s not particularly detailed), Apparently it’s one of the largest collections in Europe \\ ICU you even more nauseous than burning money. Recently, housing, and local authorities that according to the Union which state the Associate that seventh snakebite you the number of homeless allocating it with a needs- website, out of the Union’s operations \\ Membership Policy as an item had at Reynolds the previous households in the U.K. has based approach, students are 70 policies, 36 are currently discussed, but don’t make veteran Council member, now you want mixed into anything evening. risen to more than 50,000; very rarely included in such marked as expired. Though clear whether the policy was alumnus and honorary life else you want, including spirits As the number of outright all of this serves as a damning schemes. This leaves only the some of the expired policies to have one as part of Prevent passed or whether it’s still in member of the Union who said into draughts (though there home owners in the U.K. has indictment of the sheer lack private sector. have become redundant, such and puts us at terrible risk.” review (though after pestering that “It is perfectly reasonable are undeniably many more fallen drastically, along with a of capacity in the housing But for students in particular, as CSP Budgeting Policy 15-16 Although we were informed the Union President we were to assert that “lapse” (as serious side effects to the lack moderate decline in the social system. We desperately need the private rented sector can which has been replaced with by Union President, Nas informed that it was passed). used in Bye Law C) means of an updated Drinks Service rented sector, the number a long-term solution. present unique challenges and Budgeting Policy 2016/17, Andriopoulos, that this Others still may have that the policy no longer has policy, and god knows the So what is the long-term be daunting in its complexity. others remain essential particular policy should been passed at Council. It is any standing and thus there legal risk the Union is putting solution? Somebody with The astronomical fees that for managing the Union’s actually still be in accordance typical for Union policies to is no need to even entertain itself in). \\ There are now the most basic grasp of letting agents charge, frankly operations, such as the Tours with the bye-laws and be reviewed en mass at the any reference to the lapsed But the fact that no one really economics will tell you that odious conditions some Policy, which describes how constitution which say policy end of the year, felix was told policy. Thus there is space for knows is the real issue. more than nine there is a failure of the landlords expect you to live in tours are defined and should exists for three years since by a Union official. A look individuals to make executive “This is a recurring problem” million people living balance between supply and purely on account of being a be taken into consideration ratification, and as it was at the last Council meeting decisions.” says Stephen Ball, an alumnus demand in the U.K. housing student, and trouble of finding when budgets are allocated passed in June 2015, it should for the year 2015/16 for But the real issue is the lack and honorary life member of in private rented market. The position of the a guarantor for your tenancy towards tours. be live until June 2018. “I do example, shows that eight of transparency and even the Union. “The issue is that accommodation in two main political parties, the agreement can all burden believe the webpage showing policies were discussed. These knowledge as to the Union’s when there is no official policy Conservatives and Labour, is people with unnecessary the lapsed date of July 2016 is include the Unpaid Internships resolutions. With the annual there is nothing to direct staff, England \\ to build 200,000 more homes levels of stress as they house- The private rental sector has grown substantially over the past decade. Households by tenure, share of the total 1991-2013/14 \\ parliament.uk \\ Out of the Union’s erroneous.” At the same time it Policy, which condemns the brain drain which follows sabbs or students in their by 2020, but this is juxtaposed hunt. In London especially, is stated in the policy that the exploitation of students by the succession of sabbatical decisions. This can allow of people relying on private with a report published by the where the costs are so inflated 70 policies, 36 are policy needs to be reviewed companies which have the officers, it is easy to lose track individuals to make unilateral renting has risen sharply. House of Lords, citing a need and continue to soar even currently marked as annually (to ensure that it’s means to pay for labour, of what needs doing within the decisions without consultation There are now more for 300,000 new homes to now, it feels increasingly like accommodation from second draft Supplementary Planning uptodate with Prevent updates the Tankards Policy, which organisation. or making inconsistent than nine million people be built in this Parliament. No we have no control or voice. year onwards – preventing Guidance aims to streamline expired \\ presumably). Confused? So outlines the management Sure, maybe the Transport decisions without a good living in private rented government has built enough Schemes such as Share and them from having to pay the planning process for new are we. of one of Europe’s largest Polic y has expired and you can basis e.g. the order minibuses accommodation in England. It homes for decades now. Care and Homeshare UK have three to six months of rent in housing projects. All of this Furthermore, some policies tankard collections (hosted now use the Union minibuses are rented out – which club is neither particularly secure, As the nation desperately popped up in recent years advance. Last year, a large is long overdue to deal with Others protect the Union seem to have been renewed in the Union Bar) including for your IKEA trip, or maybe gets priority. This opens the nor financially sensible, and grapples with the need to – their aim being to match group of Imperial students the problems Londoners face, from legal risk, such as the also by the Board of Trustees but new tankard specs, and the the Drinks Service Policy has door to the possibility of often compared to effectively chase the increasing levels people looking for affordable attended a massive event as and more needs to be done lapsed Freedom of Speech have not been updated on the Environmental Policy which lapsed and you’re now able to challenges, of discrimination accommodation with elderly part of the London Mayoral to ensure students are able and Events Approval Policy Union’s website, such as the presents guidelines on waste order triple shots, quadruple or bias. But it also puts sabbs, people in need of support and Election in association with to claim their fair share of the which is meant to be adhered Associate Membership Policy, reduction, water use, carbon shots and really any multiple staff and student volunteers in company. Increasing numbers CitizensUK to quiz candidates new homes. to by all students organising emissions, energy and you desire and have anything challenging situations as they of students are turning to on their pledges for students The housing crisis is a events on and off campus. transport. have to make judgement calls. them as a solution to see them going forward. deeply-rooted issue in our The policy ensures that Again it is unclear whether “[This] is a longstanding issue through their studies. One of the key pledges society – the result of decades checks are made on external these policies were passed or \\ It is unclear and is reflective of the seeming At Imperial specifically, last coming out of the CitizensUK of under-investment in new speakers and that events amended in any way as the lack of concern being given year College announced its event was Sadiq Khan’s focus developments. Students comply to the Union’s Equality minutes currently available whether these to the Union’s democratic plans to act as a guarantor for on affordable housing for have been forced to burden of Opportunities Policy aren’t particularly detailed or policies were structures as also reflected in international students seeking Londoners. Over the next four an unfair share of the (which has also expired), so helpful. passed or amended the issues with minutes and and a half years £3.15 billion consequences that stem from as to minimise risks such as At the same time there papers being released.” \\ Last year College will be invested in building this. But hope may be on the conducting unlawful political doesn’t seem to be a trace in any way as the The current managing announced its 90,000 new homes specifically horizon, with our new Mayor activity, breaching public of the review progress of minutes currently director Jarlath O’Hara and in London. Students will be pledging to deliver genuinely benefit principles or even other policies. Including the the Union President have plans to act as particularly happy to see affordable homes for all putting the safety of attendees Transport Policy and the available aren’t made promises to review the a guarantor for that 58,000 of these are Londoners. I can only hope all at risk. Drinks Service Policy. Have particularly detailed procedure at the end of the to be reserved as ‘London students are included in that One Union source said “It these policies expired and if year. international Living Wage’ dwellings too. defines our interactions with Technically you can have as so what does that mean? targeted at people on low many as you want \\ Jim Sher or helpful \\ external speakers. We have We asked Stephen Naulls, a Khan Sadiq solve the housing crisis? \\ Dionisos Olympian students \\ incomes. Meanwhile, his For more comment visit felixonline.co.uk/comment

6 felixonline.co. uk /comment [email protected] Friday 3 March 2016 Friday 3 March 2016 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/comment 7

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BLAH...blah? Blah. Blah.Blah.Blah blah..! blah? blah blah blah blah BLAH? COMMENT blah

Blah!? FREEZE PEACH BLAH! ...blah Blah.blah blahblah- COMMENT felix ...BLAH! blah! felix Charles Titmuss explains why Labour Alexander Luisi compares the language is doomed – and it's not all Jeremy used by Trump's administration and the Labour has a Corbyn's fault Trump's cabinet Party in Orwell's 1984 one way ticket \\ Jeremy has not been able is cleverer than \\ Because the language is to shift this image that La- unequivocal, it may be hard bour is bad for the economy. to believe anything other to Switzerland He has simply added some you think than the given information if extra problems \\ taken at face value \\

he by-elections Labour Party elected Jeremy, Labour even more unelectable, he is only further alienating he language – it is far from that expected of goal – simple language has resulting in public outrage that in both Stoke it was already in crisis. It had chief among them that he those that would vote for him of the Trump a statesman. George W. Bush the benefit of concisely convey- Eastasia was the enemy all and Copeland lost the 2015 election – to a is not a strong or effective with his policies on Brexit, administration managed words with more syl- ing a point without ambiguity. along, with blind disregard for were both called coalition and a Tory party leader. He has been unable to Trident, and the fact that he fascinates me. The lables. On the campaign trail For example, Trump’s govern- the past. This is because of the recently, due to that pushed through hard line reconcile those members of his lacks the abilities of a leader daily barrage of ment is constantly reaffirming bare meaning of the language their respective MPs austerity as its policy – and party that were not part of the that could truly unite the left comments, tweets its position and how well it is and its constructs, and how it Tresigning. As I’m sure you it had lost critical political membership explosion that and oust the Tories. A more Tand press conferences reveals doing, so when Donald Trump has subsequently discouraged are aware, Labour lost the capital to the SNP and UKIP. resulted in his election and reasonable expectation would something quite fundamental \\ With this or his press secretary Sean thoughtcrime. A similar phe- Copeland seat and held on Jeremy wouldn’t have even has also supported policies be too ensure that an effective about the way that the Spicer use ‘great’, they create nomenon is happening with to the Stoke seat, but suffered been in contention if this were and positions that do not government is operating, and restricted range a façade of control, where the Trump, his cabinet and his a reduction in the proportion not the case. Labour under appeal to traditional Labour how it will operate. It’s hard to of words, and situation is better than just aver- supporters as a whole – per- of votes compared to 2015. the leadership of Tony Blair voters. Essentially, Jeremy is believe that the administration age (which is the implication of sonified best by “alternative This is viewed by many, myself well as other criticism from and Gordon Brown taking currently attempting to run the \\ Labour was is not in utter chaos, and what therefore thought, it their use of ‘good’). With this facts”. Take the recent resigna- almost) but this deliberate over- included, as a crucial test within the Labour Party. It is the UK into the Iraq War, party in order to please the is striking is the language used would seem to the restricted range of words, and tion of the National Security sight of what was previously of Labour’s appeal to the important to note that since into Afghanistan, and most membership that elected him, already on life in the information presented, therefore thought, it would advisor Michael Flynn. The ini- announced, combined with the general public, particularly Jeremy’s election, there have crucially through the 2008 as opposed to acknowledging support, and Jeremy and the nature in which it uncritical ear that seem to the uncritical ear that tial report to the media, from quick affirmation by others in at a transformative time in been 11 by-elections, of which Great Recession has greatly that the wider electorate is presented. It conveys a the government is the government is functioning. Conway, was that Flynn had, the administration eerily resem- Labour’s history. only 1 has been a loss for has much broader desires is helping to assure semblance of order and the The fact that the travel ban was “the full confidence” of the bles events during Hate Week Labour is of course under the Labour. than those of the Corbynistas the Labour Party is impression that the President functioning \\ implemented for several days in 1984. Because the language leadership of Jeremy Corbyn, When examining the current that form the base of his it's on the train to and his team are 'doing great’. with government officials and is unequivocal, it may be hard for some he is a saviour and situation Labour is in, it is \\ Jeremy is a man support. Jeremy is a man of Sound familiar? That’s because supporters alike defending it to believe anything other than hero of the left, and for others, important to contextualise principle, but it takes a man of Ber n \\ it is. The limited vocabulary of reinforces that the actions of \\ This deliberate the given information if taken he is its damnation. Many these results: they are by- of principle, but compromise to be an effective Trump is starkly Orwellian in this lack of linguistic ability the government are at face at face value. have linked his leadership elections and are not an it takes a man of politician and account for all nature. Groan you may – it’s exposed the man as a semi-co- value, as clear-cut as their oversight of what Could the language of the to Labour’s struggle in the indicator of how the nation points of view. pretty cliché to compare any herent orator with barely the language. was previously Administration actually devolve polls, blaming his inconsistent will vote in three years’ time. compromise to In my view, Labour opposition is maintained, aspect of any government to capacity for holding office. Now combine this basic, entirely into a bare-meaning position on the EU, his weak With any luck, May will make be an effective winning the next election but he is simply failing in that in 1984 – but aside from Countless times were the words unequivocal language with announced, dialect like Newspeak? Its stance on defence and NATO domestic and foreign policy was always a long shot, for that regard, and a lack of illustrating totalitarianism, the "great", "terrible", "strong", how the administration deliv- combined with quick immediate meaning certainly and his association with the errors, and there is usually a politician \\ all the reasons previously opposition can be devastating novel dealt with the nuanced "weak", "winning" and "losing" ers information and you get a portrays the current situation left wing group Momentum, trend towards unpopularity mentioned. Unfortunately, to the democratic process. aspects of a regime that was used, and always in their direct recipe for something that is in affirmation by others with no attention to what hap- as well as the anti-Semitism for the ruling party as its reign the voters to whom Jeremy Of course the title of this determined to demonstrate its pairs. Now in power, this the same vein as the Ministry in the administration, pened previously, which makes scandal in the Labour Party. comes to an end. wants to appeal – the young article is inflammatory. I’m coherence to the people, so simplicity has become more of Truth. The persistent televi- it so powerful from an ideolog- Others, most recently John However, it is possible to impacted Labour’s image. and disenfranchised – do not not really suggesting that makes for a solid comparison. sinister and is reminiscent of sion interviews with Kellyanne eerily resembles ical standpoint. If Trump and say that Labour is not in a The impression that Labour is vote in force historically and he should register for the The simplicity of Trump’s Newspeak, the language used Conway or Stephen Miller, as events during Hate his government were to cap- good place. This is the first not good for the economy has Dignitas™ treatment, but language is staggering. His in Orwell’s dystopia. Its pur- well as the painful press confer- italise on this while gagging time since 1982 that an stuck, and the perception that looking at it this way, Labour vocabulary is incredibly basic pose is to "diminish the range of ences with Sean Spicer, seem Week in 1984 \\ and intimidating the media the \\ Before the Labour opposition party has lost a the Conservatives played a was already on life support, and his sentences are ver y shor t thought", to suit the ideological to give different narratives as implications on the mind-set of seat to the governing party in major role in cleaning up the and Jeremy is helping to needs of the Party by removing they go and then finally agree society, or at the very least his Party elected Jere- a by-election. In a recent poll mess is prevalent. Labour is assure that the Labour Party all but the essential meaning of on a common line of thought, supporters, would be ‘yuge’. my, it was already in (Opinium/Observer), Labour still viewed by many as a pro- is on the train to Bern. He words so as to prevent thought- somewhat akin to the work of President but only a few hours No. Instead, the reality is that was predicted to win 30% globalisation, pro-free market really is committed to leading crime. In the case of the Trump Orwell’s protagonist Winston later, our favourite press secre- Trump has already, and will crisis \\ of the votes compared to the party, and in the aftermath of the party through thick and administration, this particular in Minitrue when he has to sift tary declared that the situation continue to become a victim of Conservatives' 38%, likely Brexit, this is a less electable thin, he will be there to hold set of words and others have through old news articles and had become, “unsustainable” his own language. This could leading to a large election position. its hand as it drifts off into the been used to the point where reports altering information to because the Vice President mean four years might not be loss. Whether Jeremy is Jeremy Corbyn has not been black abyss of irrelevance. they have lost all but their suit the Party. When Oceania had been misled by Flynn four years after all. If it is a full Mcdonnell, have blamed the entirely to blame for these low able to shift this image that bare meaning. Though com- changes adversaries in the regarding his conversations term, there’s always the memes lack of unity in the Labour polling figures is the matter of Labour is bad for the economy. pletely unintentional, it would war from Eurasia to Eastasia, with the Russian Ambassador. to look forward to. party, such as Tony Blair’s contention. He has simply added some make a lot of sense if it were the history of the perpetual History wasn’t rewritten (thank- criticism of his leadership, as I would argue that before the extra problems that make applied to suit an ideological conflict is entirely rewritten, fully there is still a free press, For more comment visit felixonline.co.uk/comment

8 felixonline.co. uk /comment [email protected] Friday 3 March 2016 Friday 3 March 2016 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/comment 9

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BLAH...blah? Blah. Blah.Blah.Blah blah..! blah? blah blah blah blah BLAH? COMMENT blah

Blah!? FREEZE PEACH BLAH! ...blah Blah.blah blahblah- COMMENT felix ...BLAH! blah! felix Alexandre Adler knows Imperial will Emily-Jane Cramphorn talks about eventually divest, but will it be too late? the importance of eating disorder Imperial still We really need awarenees and how conversation is the only way to tackle the stigma needs to divest to talk about

\\ I guess the only green eating disorders \\ You never know when from fossil fuels that matters at Imperial is the your life might be derailed Queen's Lawn \\ by an eating disorder \\

ast year, while models of oil rigs proudly sit performance roughly correlate booms and busts closely follow he past week Eating disorders are a huge, everybody’s problem because, of what anorexia is. Yet this challenge it through conversa- doing my Erasmus in the Royal School of Mines. with slides in the £. Since we the patterns of global growth. on campus has complex and somewhat as a previous B-eat slogan message has been perpetu- tion and education, hence the at King’s College Sustainability week came and do not know what is in Impe- Now, if that was the only issue, been a busy one, terrifying subject and as such emphasises, “everybody ated and celebrated by those importance of eating disorders London, I spotted a rial’s fund, we should assume it would not make oil stand out \\ In its research what with the people tend to shy away from knows somebody”. Eating trying to fight back against awareness week. small placard on the it is standard, and as such has all this much; after all, most capacity, Imperial 2017 leadership the conversation. Talking disorders affect at least 10% This year’s EDAW theme wall calling on the \\ The fossil free invested to some extent in oil companies suffer during a elections, ‘show about eating disorders is one of our population without focuses on early intervention, Luniversity to "divest" from and gas companies. recession. However, fossil fuels does not want to Tseason’ at the union concert of those things that you keep taking into account those which is shown to improve fossil fuels. By this, they meant campaign has no However, the stated objec- are also a channel through hall, and of course Varsity putting to the side because who are undiagnosed and \\ The majority of prognosis for those with that the college should not tives of the endowment fund which countries leverage polit- associate with those g o i n g o n. B u t t h e p a s t we e k h a s you want to do it right but the loved ones of sufferers. eating disorders, and aims to invest in corporations linked committee listed on would make a good argument ical and diplomatic leverage. who purposefully also seen activists across the you’re not quite sure how to People should take an interest people with an eat- incite change in the treatment to fossil fuel extraction and the Union website, for divestment themselves. The The destinies of drillers depend nation trying to create change go about it. Then of course in eating disorders, not just ing disorder are not of eating disorders by remov- exploitation. I am not a large stated aims of the fund are a decisively on the dreams of slow down progress for people who are impacted because of people like me ing BMI barriers and allowing fan of endowment funds in and models of oil growth over five years of infla- democrats and despots. For and spit in the face by eating disorders. The final shouting about it, but because underweight \\ sufferers to access treatments general and would really rigs proudly sit in tion plus 4%, a lower than instance, every tentative move week of February is Eating you never know when your life regardless of weight. Remov- of inconvenient \\ Sadly, my efforts like to see a greener world, RSM \\ average volatility in its invest- of Ukraine towards the EU Disorders Awareness Week might be derailed by one. ing low-BMI requirements so the idea appealed to ments. Why on God’s green has resulted in Russia closing truths \\ (EDAW) both in the UK and the have been some- Eating disorders count some from treatment is extremely me immediately. This year, Earth would you choose the the gas pipelines, forcing gas USA, and thus I have worked of the deadliest mental illnesses diet culture. Anorexia is not apparently, a few King’s energy sector as an investment providers on the continent to hard to lead a supportive what overshadowed amongst their ranks. Despite a choice; one does not simply students took the campaign went, with little clamour. I guess shed extra money for alterna- campaign from ICU. Sadly, my by what can be seen 20% of anorexics dying as a try being anorexic and eat a a little further, and spray- the only green that matters at tive sources. The explosion of value of stocks significantly efforts have been somewhat result of their condition, the sandwich when it’s too difficult. \\ Removing low- as more pressing painted a few pillars on the Imperial is the Queen’s Lawn. Iraq inflated oil prices (twice), within hours. As such, it makes overshadowed by what can be media still celebrate thinness, Anorexia is a deadly and life BMI requirements Strand building, an offence The endowment fund’s repar- \\ It makes no sense as has the Iranian revolution. no sense for college to invest its seen as more pressing issues issues \\ self-deprivation and obsessive wrecking mental illness that for which they promptly got tition is unfortunately not for college to invest On the other side, an attempt money in a sector so volatile, such as Elections and Varsity. relationships with food. The has claimed too many wonder- from treatment is arrested (anybody who has publicly available informa- by Saudi Arabia and Aramco since it states that it looks for Whilst this is frustrating, I same culture, and a wave of ful people from this earth. seen that building’s façade tion, and students don’t have its money in a sector to drive out of business the low volatility. can understand why EDAW skinny-shaming culture born Another myth perpetuated by extremely important knows that the architect of access to the contact webpage so volatile, since it US fracking industry resulted In the very long term, Impe- isn’t at the top of everyone’s there are the people who out of it, trivialises eating dis- the media is that people with in helping people the Strand building is the of the people responsible for in a prolonged slump in oil rial will divest from oil, gas and agenda: eating disorders simply think eating disorders orders as something sufferers eating disorders are skinny. real culprit as far as urban the fund. As a result, there states that it looks prices that brought numerous coal, as these energy sources are a seemingly niche and aren’t a real problem and choose and can simply give Whilst that is the case for recover faster and vandalism is concerned). is no way of knowing what for low volatility \\ exploration and equipment will lose relevance when poorly understood topic and that those suffering are just up at will. Megan Trainor, some, the majority of people fuller \\ This year, I study at Imperial. amount Imperial has invested companies to their knees. renewables become cheaper. might not take priority when narcissistic teenage girls who for example, who’s been her- with an eating disorder are I am yet to see a poster calling in oil, coal and gas, although Those are not long-term events Climate change may cause we are all under pressure to want to look like Kate or alded as a body positive role not underweight. Anorexia is for the College to divest from an examination of its perfor- that are correlate to the wider irreparable damages by then, meet deadlines and balance a Cara. The reality is that by model, told reporters that she one of the least common eating oil and gas. The fossil free cam- mance suggests that much of then? These companies’ for- economy or to technological but it will happen eventually. It rudimentary social life. This in not engaging in conversation “tried being anorexic for an disorders yet is what we gen- important in helping people paign has no committee listed its portfolio is labelled in US tunes are highly dependent advances. Those are shocks is however crystal clear that as itself is not necessarily a huge about eating disorders – and hour” and then got her mum erally think of when discussing recover faster and fuller, but on the Union website, and dollars, as the periods of best on the economic cycle, as oil that can reduce or inflate the long as the companies of the problem but it is indicative I don’t mean spreading gossip to make her a sandwich, show- eating disorders. Thousands it has the power to change sector have any influence, they of the wider problem of about celebrity weight – we ing her gross misunderstanding of people suffer in isolation so much more than that by will try to slow the transition how eating disorders are are doing more harm than by through fear of being ridiculed removing the stigma around towards a carbon neutral econ- perceived, discussed and saying the wrong thing. By or disbelieved if they talk about having an eating disorder omy down, in the same way treated in society. We don’t talking about eating disorders their eating disorders, simply without being underweight. they drove the fight against have to talk about eating with those whose lives have \\ Eating disorders because they are not under- Please help fight stigma by recognizing global warming disorders for only one week been touched by them we weight. And for those who learning a little more or starting for a quarter of a century. In of the year. I, and others who learn about the dos and don’ts count some of the are underweight, there is a a conversation about eating its research capacity, Imperial are trying to foster change, for conversations in the future. deadliest mental fear of not being underweight disorders over the coming does not want to associate with am willing to talk about eating But more importantly we enough, perpetuated by com- weeks. Oh! and if you haven’t those who purposefully slow disorders all year long. The continue to chip away at the illnesses amongst ments like “but you don’t look already done so, please check down progress and spit in the problem is, other people aren’t stigma and misconceptions, their ranks \\ anorexic” and the rationing out the EDAW online prize face of inconvenient truths. necessarily as keen because starting with openly discussing of treatments based on body draw on the union shop, every Why should it associate with eating disorders aren’t eating disorders. Quite mass index. The only way penny will go to B-eat and will them financially? seen as hugely important. frankly, eating disorders are to change this rhetoric is to help save a life. 10 felixonline.co.uk/science [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 felix SCIENCE Sequencing all of life My sun Lizzie Riach discusses plans to create a full genetic map of all life on Earth and stars

n the 23rd of so may take time to kick off. biology”. arthropods; and B10K, which February, Oliver Ryder, a conservation Despite being a long way is looking at 10,500 bird a small biologist for the San Diego off a concrete plan, the species genomes. EBP would group of Zoo Institute says “This is estimated costs are already simply coordinate, compile researchers a grand idea – if we really being worked out, with the and fund these various teams. announced want to understand how life entire eukaryotic sequence The biggest challenge may, Othey wanted to sequence “all evolved, genome biology will costing around the same as it however, be getting the DNA life on Earth” at a meeting be a part of that”. did to sequence the very first itself. Museum specimens, organised by the Smithsonian So why should all life be human genome (according as well as recently collected Initiative of Biodiversity sequenced? The research- to Lewin). In today’s money, frozen samples may not Genomics and China-based ers involved drew several this is around $4.8 billion, yield enough, so many sequencing powerhouse parallels between this and and could take as little time may have to be retrieved BGI. The plan has been aptly the Human Genome project, as a decade according to the from the wild. If completed, named the Earth BioGenome which resulted in many new organisers. this project could provide Project (EBP), and would DNA technologies that form This seems like a big job, valuable insights into our act: humans are 90% firstly focus on sequencing the backbone of many new but a lot of headway has evolution and own genomic stardust. the DNA of the eukaryotes medical treatments. Harry already been made, with lots make up. Lewin maintains Human beings are – the group of organisms Lewin, one of the EBP vision- of smaller projects already that this is the natural course mostly made up of that includes plants, animals, aries and an evolutionary having sequenced large of genomics, as sequencing water, with a few fungi and single-celled genomicist at the University numbers of genomes. These improves with time, saying “It other bits and pieces microorganisms like amoebas. of California points out include the Genome 10K became apparent to me that Fthrown in for good measure. The response to the plan that “people have learned Project, that aims to sequence at a certain point, it would be That means we are largely was well received, however from the human genome 10,000 vertebrate genomes possible to sequence all life made of Hydrogen atoms, the financial cost will be experience that [sequencing] (one from each genus); on Earth.” followed by lots of Oxygen, a several billion dollars, and is a tremendous advance in i5K, deciphering 5000 fair bit of Carbon, some Nitro- gen and a sprinkling of some more interesting stuff. Immediately after the big bang, the only elements that existed were Hydrogen and Helium: everything else was formed over billions of New discoveries in space years as a product of fusion reactions (when two atoms fuse together to make a re current Indeed, a newly-discovered time in history that so many could start much sooner than single heavier atom). These politics getting solar system just 39 light Earth-sized planets have been anticipated. Ignas Snellen, an fusion reactions take place you down? years from Earth contains found in orbit around the astrophysicist at the Leiden in stars, producing heavier Worried that planets that are possibly same star. This star has the Observatory in the Neth- elements such as Oxygen, the world is warm enough to sustain water characteristic of being small erlands said “This is really Nitrogen and Carbon, as well heading in the and life. and cold, hence allowing the something new. When they as recycling lots of Hydro- Awrong direction? Worry not – These have been found seven closely-packed planets started this search several gen. The really heavy atoms habitable, pristine, Trumpless, around a small star in the that orbit around it to have years ago, I really thought – think Gold and Silver – planets are coming soon to constellation of Aquarius, remarkably moderate temper- it was a waste of time. I was require something a bit more galaxies near you (perhaps). Trappist-1, presenting the first atures. Their sizes vary from very, very wrong”. dramatic, and are made only 25% smaller to 10% larger Astronomers are now focus- during the massive energy than the Earth. ing on using current space release of supernovas. This discovery, completely technology, including the So all those familiar unexpected, has thrilled Hubble and NASA’s James elements – Calcium in your many, as it has raised hopes Webb Space Telescope to bones and Iron in your blood that the hunt for alien life determine whether the planets – are just bits of leftover beyond the solar system have atmospheres and they stardust made in great balls hope to know whether there of fire billions of years ago. \\ The hunt for alien is life on the planets within the It’s enough to make you feel next decade, when the next just a little bit special. life beyond the generation of telescopes will solar system could be fully developed. Exciting times in the astronomical start sooner than world. Another one of Mr. Aran anticipated \\ Shaunak’s Little Bites of \\ NASA Sara Hamilton Science Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 11

CULTURE elix here is little doubt confusedlyf around, they that technology has \\ I suspect that the seemed designed to appeal pervaded every to our tendency to anthro- inch of our modern robots' instability pomorphosise electronic Robot | A lives. From people was down to devices. Nao #1 was gently plugged in on their the limitations helped out of his box by one Tdaily commutes, to the seas of the dancers, like a parent of smartphones at concerts, of current robot- teaching a child his or her first confusing we seem to be constantly steps. They then performed a immersed in gadgetry. But dancing technology short dance together, with the is that a good or bad thing? rather than any dancer lifting the tiny robot hodgepodge This question has become intention by the above his head in an amusing something of a hot topic in pas de deux. recent months, with shows choreographer \\ This was followed by a cho- such as Westworld and Black reographed routine carried of man and Mirror exploring the darker out entirely by seven Nao consequences of a future say, robotic? models. Or rather, the Nao dominated by technology. Robot's selling point is its robots made a brave attempt Choreographer Blanca generous use of actual robots. at finishing their routine, only machine Li takes a more playful The orchestra is self-playing, to fall down every few moves approach with Robot, a composed of 10 mechanical and struggle back to their production filled with dancers instruments by Japanese art feet. This delighted the audi- both human and humanoid. group Maywa Denki. The ence, with every new tumble It's an interesting premise. musical prototypes are rather eliciting coos and ‘aahs’. Sure, robots can perform whimsical: percussion instru- Was it intentional, or were calculations with superhu- ments dominate, although the Nao robots genuinely man speed and precision there is a flower-shaped incapable of keeping their – Google's AlphaGo AI marimba and an automated balance? If the former, cater- has even beaten us at Go concertina (which produced ing to the audience’s desire – but how will they fare a dreadful screeching note). to see robots as harmless with something as uniquely While the soundtrack, com- and bumbling would have human as dancing? Surely posed by Tao Gutiérrez, was been some clever lampshad- creative expression remains quite enjoyable in parts, after ing by Li. However, I rather very much our domain. half an hour of drumbeats suspect that it was down Unfortunately, Robot doesn't and mechanical beeping to the limitations of current deliver on its potential for an it started to become quite robot-dancing technology interesting dialogue between headache-inducing. rather than any intention by humans and robots; what- The Nao robots were the choreographer. ever message Li intended definitely the selling point of As the production wore to convey is lost some- Robot. Infantile, with round on, it all struck me as a tad where between the strange faces and LED eyes blinking juvenile – the cutely inept sequences, and the dance Naos, the low-tech mechan- pieces that went on for longer ical orchestra, the human than they should have. dancers who seemed to In all fairness, the play second string to the Blanca Li Dance Company, Robot \\ A eight human dancers dancing robots. Finally, Jerocki performed with the curtains closed skill and ease; on a giant tangle of their stamina machinery – var- for carrying iously blinking, such energetic beeping, and moves for bumping into over an hour each other. A was quite stray Roomba Claire Chan commend- wandered able. But to the edge despite the of the stage, energetic and was left choreogra- outside when the phy, the moves curtains closed. Robot was on at the Barbican felt rather By the end of the from the 22nd – 25th February monotonous and performance, I felt repetitive – dare I just as confused.

Blanca Li Dance Company, Robot \\ Laurent Philippe 12 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 13

elix CULTURE CULTURE elix f oing into the Barebone in the recent film is graced with, one which uba’s premier \\ fEven in The National Fantastic Beasts and Where also masquerades as an dance company Theatre’s to Find Them, Tamsin Greig ostensible, full-size fountain. stopped by Listening Room, production of is able to put forward a per- The presence of all this water Twelfth Night London for one distinct gender roles, but as a piece with very Shakespeare’s formance which is hilarious seems to simply beg for some- Danza night last week the performance goes on the Twelfth Night, in the subtlety of its humour. body to get drenched. Suffice during their boundaries between male little direction from GI was expecting a slightly The cold, disapproving stares to say we are not disap- Cwhirlwind tour of the UK. and female become increas- the choreographer, less-conventional production. and dramatic, inappropriate pointed on those grounds. | A contrast Founded in 1959, Danza ingly blurred, culminating in the Cuban energy I was not wrong. Director pauses, which are her forte, This audacious scenery is Contemporánea Contemporánea de Cuba has a powerful ending where the Simon Godwin is certainly are in stark contrast to her testament to the brilliant show had over half a century to two genders “unite into one shows through in not afraid to show us that puritan exterior: the very stuff put on – quite literally – by develop its distinct aesthetic single breath”. the dancers' own this is a modern play from from which ironic comedy is the technical and lighting between de Cuba | – contemporary dance The second piece was The the off, with a flashy display made. Certain moments of the team. They make full use of and classical ballet, with Listening Room by Clinkard, interpretations of the of a shiny car cruising onto play, however – such as the the Olivier Theatre’s majestic Spanish and Afro-Caribbean a British choreographer. the stage piled with Orsino frankly outrageous costume drum revolve, whose centre- influences. While they Its concept is quite unique music \\ (Oliver Chris) and his dapper in which she greets Olivia, or piece is a grand triangular subtlety and Electrifying have performed in London – the dancers interpret a entourage. One lady I spoke the sudden and exceedingly staircase: at one moment before – at the Royal Opera soundtrack that they hear to noted that the production dramatic change of character, stationary, and at the next through noise-cancelling run off stage for a nostalgic, was ‘unorthodox’, which is suggestive of her repressed swivelling to create a sense of headphones, while the yearning solo dance by Iosm- saying something, considering love – are probably unnec- simultaneity between several aplomb dance with a \\ Cuban energy audience listens to a different aly Ordoñez, who then dons just how outrageous the essarily over the top, given different settings. Within track entirely. As Steve Reich’s a modern outfit to join the rest original play is in terms of the Greig’s talent for being funny seconds, the set manages to runs through the instrumentals filled the hall, I of the troupe in a lively finish themes it addresses: much without the need for such an change from a ship crashing three performances could almost deceive myself with Cuban salsa rhythms. of Twelfth Night’s charm can obvious display of ridicule. into rocks in a storm, to the Cuban flavour that the energetic dancing Cuban energy runs through be attributed to its storyline, Perhaps it was the twirling more docile setting of Olivia’s like a thread \\ on stage was to the same the three performances centring around classic tassels on her costume that house, complete with modern beat. Then the audience’s like a thread. In Reversible cases of mistaken identity tipped the scales from hilarity looking glass panels and men soundtrack abruptly switched and Matria Etnocentra, the and complicated, mutating to downright disbelief. in suits bright enough to throw House, Sadler’s Wells, and off. Despite the utter silence, choreography is designed love polygons, of which But Shakespeare’s ‘come- light on the future of fashion. the Coliseum – this is their the dancing on stage con- specifically with the compa- Shakespeare is undoubtedly dies’ are not – in the sense Not to be outmatched first time on the Barbican tinued as though nothing ny’s background in mind. In a master of. of the word – simply light- by Orsino and his crew, a stage. This tour sees them had happened. It was then Reversible, “the concept of The name of the play itself hearted and humorous, as a very hipster Sir Toby Belch, showcasing three completely that I realised the disconnect gender and soul is universal” refers to the last night of comedy of today might be; played by Tim McMullan, is new pieces from award- between the dancers and the but the dancing, especially Christmas, on which ridicule is despite the hilarious nature one of the highlights of this winning choreographers audience. It was as though the bachata sequences, are supposed to ensue – hus- of this play there is of course performance. His authen- Annabelle Lopez Ochoa, the music was visible only particularly Cuban; in Matria bands swapping roles with the more sombre side that tic performance as the Theo Clinkard, and George through the movements of Etnocentra, the entire concept wives and so forth. It is per- accompanies Malvolia’s later constantly drunk uncle was Céspedes. the dancers; watching their of the piece revolves around haps appropriate therefore, fate. Grieg’s portrayal of the so good that it made me feel Twelfth Night – Tamsin Greig as Mal- The evening opened with free interpretations, I found the social context of Cuba. that the most striking addition tragedy of a woman whose as though the bottles he was volia \\ Marc Brenner Ochoa’s Reversible. Chore- myself trying to guess what Even in The Listening Room, a to this production is Malvo- love has been made into a incessantly swigging from ographed specifically for kind of music they were really piece with very little direction lio’s replacement by Tamsin joke was raw in its emotion, were perhaps slightly more Danza Contemporánea de listening to. from the choreographer, it Greig’s Malvolia, cementing and heart-breaking to watch. than simple props. Along with Cuba, Ochoa’s work deals Finally, the evening shows through in the dancers' this production’s status as a Again, this felt odd in contrast the wing-man with a man-bun with ideas of gender, seduc- concluded with a piece by own interpretations of the very modern take on a play with the incredulity of her Sir Andrew Aguecheek – tion, and rivalry, with both Céspedes, the company’s music. that itself was well ahead of earlier flashy show. Daniel Rigby – the two are the male and female dancers own in-house choreographer: More than the Cuban its time – not only due to the Ideas about the roles of the comedy relief duo of the Waleed El-Geresy going topless at various Matria Etnocentra. The piece style it brings to the stage, more modern costumes and gender run strong throughout comedy itself, entertaining parts of the choreography. is something of a tribute to Danza Contemporánea de scenery, but also in the extent the performance: Feste is also us with their various antics to In addition to the soundtrack Cuban identity – the regi- Cuba is by all standards a to which it thrusts the play’s played by a woman – Doon pleasant tunes sung by Feste – sometimes drumbeats, mented daily life combined stellar dance company. The ideas about gender roles into Mackichan – whose charac- and a small but skilled team Twelfth Night is on at the Danza Contemporánea de Cuba's produc- sometimes sibilant whispers, with the verve and energy of three pieces showcase the the limelight. The recasting ter is playful, light-hearted, of live musicians – including tion of Theo Clinkard's The Listening Room sometimes pure silence – this the country’s inhabitants. Mil- 24 dancers’ versatility and of Malvolio as Malvolia – a and very entertaining, a saxophone player and gui- National Theatre until 13th May \\ Adolfo Izquierdo adds to the primal, almost itary drill-inspired formations technical excellence. Every woman played by a woman certainly lightening the mood; tarist - adding a lot of aural mystical, quality of the piece. dominate the first section; the move is executed with fluidity – has a fitting parallel in Tamara Lawrance’s Viola is colour to the atmosphere. In one section, sensuality is regularity of the marshalled and feeling, and they bring the times of Shakespeare, very boyish and believable, For the most part, the Tickets from £15 conveyed beautifully through configurations contrasts with a warmth and physicality to in which men would have quite adorably capturing modern take on this play bachata rhythms and graceful a later section, in which the the stage which is infectious played the female roles. This the humour of the dramatic does question ideas about hip movements. Ochoa dancers pound their clenched – from the grins on their is perhaps an attempt by ironies of her situation. Her societal roles well. However, also playfully interchanges fists against their hearts. Is this faces to the foot-stamping, Godwin to show how society antics with Olivia (Phoebe attempts to put emphasis on things louder can sometimes comedy whose very name Claire Chan traditional gendered clothing: a form of social commentary hand-clapping sequences has evolved: gender identity Fox) whilst cross-dressing as these ideas can sometimes produce an effect opposite suggests it is meant to be the male dancers wear skirts by Céspedes? The dancers they spontaneously break out is becoming more and Cesario, are amusing, and go a bit too far, notably in to that intended – some- over the top and outra- and the female dancers wear into while taking their bows. more distinct from sex, with there are fitting touches of a rather flamboyant scene thing not exclusive to the geous; Godwin, his cast, trousers. It works surprisingly Truly an outstanding com- traditional male and female modern humour added here involving a drag queen domain of theatre – and I and the production team well. The piece starts out with pany, one I hope to see back societal expectations being and there, such as a racy at a saucy bar called The would say that the cleverest certainly managed to put Danza Contemporánea de the dancers expressing two in London soon! questioned and challenged. scene in a Jacuzzi involving Elephant which seemed to be moments of this production on a great performance, Despite (and probably a set of golden swimming in the production for the sole were when humour and leaving myself and most of Cuba was on at the Barbican partly because of) her solemn trunks. This would not be pos- purpose of making absolutely ideas were put forward the audience in stitches. rd and reserved appearance, sible without a fully-fledged certain we understood the less explicitly. On the other on the 23 February which brings to mind Mary water feature that the stage main theme. Simply shouting hand, Twelfth Night is a 14 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/culture 15

elix CULTURE CULTURE elix f from his struggle with depres- that this was intentional. In Croydon mentioned bible f sion to misinterpretation of his a recent interview with the verses in a bar (“Brother, I’m his was a gig that, heavy music. every one of her songs. lyrics by mainstream media Guardian, Stormzy stressed good, I stay with the lord / due to Bonobo’s As he played through his This, however, is where I felt Gang “LBC’s trynna black ball me / that he wants the same Bible carrier, that’s my sword Bonobo incredible talent set, throwing in other classics the venue let the gig fall a tad And trynna blame your boy respect as artists like Frank / Matthew 12, so I don’t and sense of sound, from his previous albums short. As was the case last for knife crime”. Talking to Ocean or Adele. In other talk / John 19’s why I never engendered awe including Cirrus, Kong and year when I saw Chet Faker “The fader”, Stormzy said he words, Stormzy is not here got caught”) that I actually throughout the Kiara, each new song was here; the vocals seemed to Signs and used this track to “deal with for the critics that want to opened it. With this album, at O2 Tpacked venue, however the met with a wave of euphoria be drowned out by the instru- all these people chatting shit”. put him in the box of “grime Stormzy somehow found a occasion was let down by among the crowd and cheer- mentals for the most part, He wanted the album to start artist”. He is an artist in the way for ‘gospel-grime’ to the poor sound setup at the ing all around. Everyone with the mids sounding flat, like a “punch in the face”; and truest sense of the word and make sense. Academy. got drawn into each song, and barely carrying across to Prayer it did. this album is a beautiful blend On the final track,Lay Me Academy As you walked in, the depth the back of the venue. One thing is very clear from of genres that betrays the Bare, we see Stormzy at his of the bass notes was clear by Bonobo is a unique artist this album, Stormzy has three fact that Stormzy’s artistry is most vulnerable as he gives the vibrating felt throughout \\ Each new song that records his music with main pillars in his life to lean influenced by a wide range of us an insight into his constant the corridors as I waited to was met with a instruments and produces on when he’s struggling or music. Listeners can tell that battle with his own demons. Brixton hand in my jacket, eager it electronically. It was feeling low: his friends/ family every detail of this album has He addresses the resentment to join the crowd and get wave of euphoria interesting to see how this (his heart-warming admira- been meticulously planned, he still holds towards his ready for Bonobo (Simon would be applied to a live tion for his mum in particular from his flawless return to absent father and further Green). Being the tour for among the crowd \\ performance, especially with is evident throughout the the scene and the build-up details his struggles with his new album Migration, the less instrumental-heavy album), his girlfriend, and to its release, to the choice depression and his faith. On he opened up with several Migration album. However, God. When he’s not spitting of guest artists who enhance the last track in particular, class tracks such as Bombro mesmerised by the talent on Bonobo did not disappoint, venomous bars aimed at every track that they’re Stormzy has humanised the Koyo Ganda and No Reason. stage. Bonobo doesn’t just hit perfectly replicating his music anonymous paigons who stereotype of the ‘angry black With the drops of the songs the decks and mix his songs onstage, while not only keep- have pissed him off, Stormzy man’. blasting throughout the crowd for the crowd to listen to, but ing on par with the sound of dedicates the rest of this \\ It begins with a Something I found particu- and the light show offering meticulously takes time to his tracks, but improving upon album to them. Tracks like larly inspiring is Stormzy’s stunning visuals alongside the offer a performance; playing them, with impeccable transi- Velvet/ Jenny Francis (Inter- voicemail message call to action for ‘young black projected panels of pictures the guitar himself, alongside tions between them. lude) and Cigarettes and from his mum, Kings’. His message is simple, \\ Philipp Antonas and bright, trippy artwork, other band members and a Cush sound like an extended “if you want something, just it was easy to get absorbed vocalist, who’s notes carried love letter to his girlfriend and praying that he go and fucking do it”, and into the music and the crowd beautifully across the arena in By Philipp Antonas he even raps about marriage had a blessed day. he’s leading by example and dance along to the beat on 21 Gun Salute. 100 bags by remaining independent is a truly wonderful track, Myself and every and launching his #Merky ver recent his highly anticipated album. the sort of track that will melt other Ghanaian can label. As Stormzy describes years, the UK After a few months of silence, fans’ hearts and make them it, “black people have been grime and Stormzy’s social media want to call their mums just probably attest to getting twanged for the long- urban scene started flickering back to life to say “I love you”. It begins receiving a similar est”. Stormzy has recognised he venue’s facade permitting him to play techno included Awake, Dive and has had a and he launched a mysterious with a voicemail message the influence he currently has was bright and at 8pm, before introducing Past is Prologue, the titular Tycho at renaissance billboard campaign across from his mum, praying that message \\ over younger generations fairly minimalist, Tycho and leaving. tracks from their respective Oand one man has been at the London. The release of the he had a blessed day. Myself and has used his position with white walls and The mood rose in response, albums. Scott credited Roni forefront of this wave – the album’s lead single Big For and every other Ghanaian and responsibility to prove a simple entrance. as the stalls steadily filled up Size and the Bristol Drum & WickedSkengMan live in Your Boots soon followed. can probably attest to receiv- featured on. We’re treated to that a group of young black Inside, we were with people. Brought closer Bass scene as musical influ- Electric the flesh, Stormzy (Michael Announcement of a UK tour ing a similar message. Finally, smooth, jazzy production on boys can be successful. On Tsurprised to hear techno to the stage by the influx, the ences for Past is Prologue, Omari Jr.) In addition to his (now sold out) and a string of Stormzy’s dedication to his Cigarettes and Cush, gospel a lighter note, Stormzy also pumping out of the solid familiar gig funk of stale beer his “first attempt at Drum & raw musical talent, Stormzy’s surprise performances later, Christian faith it is abundantly on Blinded By Your Grace made dark skin sexy again, sound system in front of us. and farts began to emanate Bass”. Much praise is due omnipresence on social including joining Ed Sheeran clear throughout the album. and we hear him sing over a and for that I’ll always be I looked around, noting the from the spectators. As you for Rory’s heroic effort on Brixton media: uploading daily on stage at the Brits to He raps on Velvet/ Jenny chopped and screwed sample grateful. The release of this royal blue walls decorated would expect for IDM, a drums. Tycho’s vision as Snapchat stories, tweeting perform a remix of Sheeran’s Francis (Interlude), “The boys of Nao’s Intro (Like Velvet) on album feels like it could be by gold baroque detailing; label I hesitate to use for its ISO50 was felt throughout regularly, and releasing wanna tease at my faith / Velvet/ Jenny Francis (Inter- a very big moment for the the interior felt both modern pretentious connotations, the the performance, with a viral videos (the Stormzy That’s just another reason to lude). Of course, the album grime scene, similar to how and antiquated. Two tiers of crowd was mostly male and video backdrop showing hype reached its peak with \\ The pressure pray”. Stormzy is a UK ver- also has plenty of bars and Dizzee Rascal’s Boy in da balconies encompassed the bespectacled, but there was scenes of natural beauty, the Shut Up video, which sion of Chance The Rapper: high-energy grime bangers, Corner album was important dance floor and stage, giving still an interesting mix of styles family, ceremony, and the propelled him to 8th place was on, and at the They’re the same age, they’re like Cold and Return of the for the genre. Time will tell if a vaudeville vibe. We learned – from new wave dreadlocks female form, an often-double in the Christmas 2015 UK tail-end of 2016, both absolutely winning right Rucksack. With its hook, Crazy Titch’s prediction that that the source of the techno on my left, to close fades and exposed waking dream. It felt Singles charts), has led to now, they both seem to be “Dickhead yute and a dick- Stormzy’s “about to take it was Heathered Pearls (Jakub muscle shirts on my right. like insight was given into the him generating such a large Stormzy went well-grounded characters, head crew / Getting gassed [grime] from a second rate Alexander), who was opening Tycho (Scott Hansen), has nature of the band, with the global fan base. Stormzy AWOL \\ universally liked by their up by your dickhead friends” genre to a first rate genre” for Tycho. The two have a been accompanied by a full reverse chronological move- had emerged as the ‘chosen peers in the music industry, and bars like, “Mum, if you’re will come true. I can’t help but close working relationship: band on tour since 2010, ment from their latest album one’ of the new wave of and both are unafraid to listening, close your ears / agree with Ghetts, who ends both are signed to Ghostly including Zac Brown on guitar to their eldest contrasting the grime artists and, to justify number one banger Shape remain independent and use But tell them paigons suck his verse on Bad Boys (my International, with Jakub and bass, Rory O’Connor on musical development of each this hype, he simply had to of You, and Stormzy’s debut their music to shine a light on my dick / I’ve had enough personal favourite track on doing A+R for them too, drums, and Joe Davancens successive release. As each deliver a hard-hitting debut album is finally here. their faith and their relation- of them, they all piss me off”. the album and one which ref- all while managing Tycho, on bass guitar and keyboard. track ended, the spell over album. The pressure was on, Stormzy begins the album ship with God. Mr. Skeng in particular makes erences the legendary Bashy and curating his artwork After a brief introduction, the the crowd would be broken \\ Electric Brixton and at the tail-end of 2016, by getting a few things off his It’s difficult to categorise this me want to slap a dickhead vs. Ghetts clash) with “It was on the ISO50 blog (Tycho’s band launched into their set. and voices would bubble up Stormzy went AWOL. He de- chest on the opening track, album and that is a testament in the face and pray for him all calm before Stormzy / moniker as an artist). His set Beginning with the grungier, around us. Truly an immersive activated all his social media First Things First. Using his sig- to Stormzy’s versatility as an after. I have to admit that my Now it’s lightning”. was neat and built nicely, bass and drum heavy, new audiovisual experience. accounts and cancelled all nature aggressive flow over artist. It is a grime album in parents tell me to read my injecting some movement album, Epoch, they worked but one of his remaining live a raw, dark beat, Stormzy the loosest sense of the term bible everyday but it wasn’t By Andy Djaba into the audience. He joked backward through their shows, seemingly to finish addresses a number of issues, and you can’t help but feel until a 6’5’’ grime artist from to the fledgling crowd about discography. Stand out tracks By Theo Farah Candidate Manifestos: Union President

Jiangxuan Chen

This candidate did not supply a manifesto.

Harry Collini

This candidate did not supply a manifesto. YouYou decide decideThe who candidateswho are in. Who will you choose to lead Imperial? willwill run run your your ConstituentConstituent Union! Union! In this pull out, you can read the manifestos for: DecideDecide your your next nextConstituent Constituent Union President Alex Chippy Compton this experience to improve the student days; Study skills advice for first years; Union President and Committee experience at Imperial. This year I have Support for Constituent Unions Union President and Committee The landscape of higher education been part of a strong team of ICU and Management Groups; Staff and now. Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) is changing and there are challenges sabbatical officers and have first-hand sabbatical officer presence at non-SK now. ahead. I have the experience to lead the knowledge of the great activities and campuses; Advancing the current work Deputy President (Education) Union through this change and ensure support the Union offers. I will continue on protected Wednesday afternoons Voting opens the best outcomes for all. I currently to promote all this. I also want to for PG students; Focusing the ongoing represent 2000 of you in all aspects of work towards long term development. programme to increase external Voting opensDeputy President (Finance & Services) your university life in my role as ICSMSU Building on the work of this year’s team revenue sources to give better value for 12:00, Friday 3 March President. Previously I was ICSM Clubs we can make lasting change to benefit money. 12:00, Friday 3 March & Societies Officer and ICSM Treasurer you and students to come. Deputy President (Welfare) and I have held 16 committee positions Trust Experience Trust Chippy. across 6 different societies. During my 5 Specific things I would work to achieve Voting closes Felix Editor years at Imperial it has been amazing include: Shuttle service to Heston/ Full manifesto: votechippy.strikingly.com to have met, supported and worked Harlington on Wednesdays; Counselling 12:00Voting, Friday closes 10 MarchICSMSU President with so many people. I want to use triage appointments within 10 college #votechippy 12:00, Friday 10Council March Chair Mahmoud El-Khatib Vote online at Student Trustee imperialVote onlinecollege at union.org/vote This candidate did not supply a manifesto. You canTo also seevote on all your the mobile candidates’ phone! Visit bit.ly/voteicu manifestos, through visit imperialcollegeunion.org/elections. your phone’s imperial browser. collegeunion.org/vote You can also vote on your mobile phone! Visit bit.ly/voteicu through

Visit our websiteAllyour informationto phone’s vote and get browser. more information enclosed on all the has positions come and candidates. directly from the candidates and hasn’t been altered. Any imperialviewscollege stated areunion. those oforg/ the candidates.elections All information correct at the time of going to print. Visit our website to vote and get more information on all the positions and candidates. imperialcollegeunion.org/elections Yusuf Qureshi Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Education) This candidate did not supply a manifesto.

Nicholas Burstow (Education). Pick Nick for ideas: Listen. system across College • I will ensure Feedback. Improve: LISTEN: • Students that students are consulted during the Why Pick Nick to be your next Deputy should feel empowered to shape their design, implementation and evaluation President (Education)? Pick Nick for education. I aim to foster two-way of assessment and feedback. IMPROVE: experience: As Academic Affairs Officer relationships between staff and students, • Improve communication on education for ICSM this year, I have represented so that your views are not just heard, between departments and faculties, the educational needs of hundreds of but listened to • I will work with College so that ‘good practices’ become ‘best biomedical and medical students across to implement the newly approved practices’ • Improve the post-graduate 13 different subjects. I have introduced “teaching consultants” programme, education experience, ensuring that new teaching content, worked where students can work with lecturers College deliver on their pledge to with College to develop an iBook to improve practise FEEDBACK: • There keep Wednesday afternoons free • for students, and most importantly, are still vast differences in assessment Improve the transparency of mitigating ensured that student’s opinions are feedback across College • I will continue circumstance policy across College by communicated to Faculty. I believe that the pursuit of improving feedback creating clear guidelines for students this year has given me the skills needed quality and timeliness by ensuring Pick Nick to be your next Deputy Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Clubs & Societies) to succeed as your Deputy President the implementation of the traffic light President (Education)

Imperial daily. For this reason, I am close existence. Any or all of these may organisation and development role as too opaque. I will ensure that all relevant Mohamed Elyas Thomas Bacarese- enough to the issues at hand that I can accurately describe your experience of Management Group Chair for ICSM. information is released in a way which Hi, I’m Mo, a fourth year student present your concerns accurately and Panopto. I will endeavour to work with Hamilton My experience has given me valuable you are able to understand. currently completing my masters in from your perspective. With this intuitive staff directly to increase the quality, Imperial College Union is proud to host insight into areas where we do really chemical engineering. My Imperial understanding, and by unlimited reliability and availability of E-learning over 350 clubs and societies, all run by well and three main areas which I Management- You have long experience however extends beyond accessibility to you, I am confident we material. Interdepartmental fluidity: I will an incredibly valuable volunteer base would like to develop (and form a complained about minibuses, storage CGCU. Through my interactions with can tackle the following issues: work towards increasing the amount - our students - willing to commit so convenient acronym): and room bookings. I will review how students from different departments, I Feedback: The unacceptable of academic interaction that is possible much to ensure their success. we manage club amenities to ensure have developed a deep understanding inconsistency with feedback times between disciplines. By opening up Training- You say you have felt under- that you are able to get the maximum of the issues faced by the wider student for projects and courseworks needs learning resources for courses in one I want not only to represent all of prepared for your volunteer roles, so I available. body. to be addressed. I will work tirelessly field to the other faculties, I plan to these volunteers, but to also make will ensure that appropriate training is to introduce stringent operating provide students with the ability to take improvements so that everyone can tailored for all students, allowing you to For my full manifesto, and to ask Despite having headed societal procedures, lowering these waiting a module from a different subject with enjoy their clubs and societies as much feel confident in your roles. questions, visit https://votetom.wixsite. campaigns with teams of over a times across all departments. ease, allowing them to diversify their as I have. In my five years at Imperial com/gettom and don’t forget to find and hundred fellow students, I still come up Panopto: Potato level recordings, knowledge. I have gained experience as a club Openness-You sometimes feel that the share my facebook event! Don’t forget against the academic shortcomings of delayed uploads or complete non- member, as a club treasurer and in a Union, College and Sport Imperial are to VOTE TOM, GET T.O.M. Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Finance & Services) James Breakey and meaningful student experience. see is what you get. I have a dream of an Imperial where Matthew Blackett o No above-inflation drink price rises And finally, pre-poured pints at ACC Bar “If loving Imperial College’s clubs and students strive to strike a perfect Policies include: Working alongside o Improve non-SK campus facilities nights! societies was a crime, by all means lock balance between academia and often DPFS on delivering clearer policies on Hi, I am Matt and I am running to be me up” forgotten extra-curriculars. I shall how funding pots (tour funding, ADF, your DPFS. I am a final year Chemistry MAKE FUNDING AND SERVICES In my 4 years at Imperial, I have been – James Snakey every Wednesday. achieve my vision by being voted as BUCS) are allocated. Granting the Union and Business School student and as PROPERLY SUPPORT CSPs heavily involved with various clubs & the people’s representative in order responsibility to handle their own your DPFS I would: o All minibuses to be roadworthy at societies holding positions of financial Alright fellas and fellarinas, my name is to synergistically forge the bridges general club issues independently whilst the start of the year o Coach service to responsibility, including as the ACC James and I am an anticipating Biology between the clubs and societies and Sport Imperial only handle bookings/ INCREASE EXTERNAL INCOME TO Heston and Harlington o Centralised Management Group Vice-Chair. Having graduate, a 3-year veteran/committee the Imperial College Union. I might not fixtures. Allowing management groups MAKE YOUR UNION BETTER VALUE club regalia studied good financial practice in the member of ICHC and just a stand- be the most experienced but I more chairs to sit on more sport boards for o Centralised Sponsorship of the Union Business School, I will make sure the up guy looking to contribute. A more than make up for that in passion and better student representation. Campus o Life Membership funding directly to MAKE YOUR UNION MORE ACCESSIBLE Union’s finances are in safe hands. It is extra-curricular approach to university creativity. Furthermore, if you believe drinks prices match local competition CSPs o Union minibuses during holidays o Student involvement in the biggest these experiences of interacting with life cannot be stressed enough, even in honesty and transparency, I strictly (e.g. The Slug). Finding better storage Union-run events o Increased number every level of the Union, as well as my at an academia focused institution like suggest you give consider me for vote facilities. Imperial sports teams must BETTER SERVICE EXPERIENCE IN THE and quality of part-time Union jobs o straight-forward, pragmatic, problem- Imperial as it will grant a more rounded as I’m a straight shooter and what you have a snake-based mascot. BARS AND SHOPS Continue financial infographic series fixer attitude that will allow me to o Increase range and quality of food o Promote Imperial Plus improve your experience of the Union.

Yusuf Qureshi Yusuf Qureshi This candidate did not supply a manifesto. This candidate did not supply a manifesto.

James Targett running over 200 shows/events at entertainments committee -- More Live Katya Pchelintseva meetings to feedback on current Mums and Dads scheme and personal imperial, with societies, the bar, and the Music REDUCE CLUB ADMIN BURDEN welfare problems. This will allow me tutors enabling regular meetings in I’m Jamie. I’ve been at Imperial for Events-and-Conferences team -- Being -- Improve eActivities’ usability -- Make Hi! My name is Katya, I am a to strategise the course of action an informal setting. As the previous 7 years, now I’m running for DPFS. at Imperial as an Undergrad, Postgrad, club mailing lists better -- Review Bioengineering Masters student. Before that would benefit all departments. - Welfare and Academic Officer for The DPFS is responsible for the and PhD student and being involved financial authorisation levels (one size this, I studied Biology here at Imperial Introduce workshops every term to Biology and the current Departmental bars, shops and other commercial with over 30 societies has allowed me doesn’t fit all) -- Improve the room too. Being part of both the RCSU and educate students on how to recognise Representative for Bioengineering, I services run by the union, as well to see Imperial from many different booking system -- Fix the printing CGCU, I realise how varied the problems and support your friends going through have the experience and knowledge as student development, marketing, perspectives. But what am I going to system OTHER MISCELLANEOUS across College are and how much mental health problems. - Start a of the system which will help me to sponsorship and union services. I have *do*? IMPROVE THE BARS -- Pre-order POLICIES -- Continue the Union’s work is required to improve welfare support group for international students, pinpoint problems and deliver effective a vast amount of relevant experience food from FiveSixEight online -- Faster current work of increasing its external for ALL students. I am eager to take where you can talk about the difficulties solutions as DPW. including: -- Holding financially service on Wednesday and Friday nights income -- Introduce a better e-voting responsibility and give my absolute best of being international and receive responsible positions with multiple -- “Express lane” with bottle bar and system for clubs -- Decide fair to improve YOUR student experience! advice from those more experienced. A vote for Katya is a vote for a candidate societies over five years and overseeing pre-poured pints -- Jägerbombs on budgeting rules *before* clubs submit - Establish anonymous chat and with experience in the RCSU and CGCU, over £37,000 of club expenditure -- tap. -- Refurbish Metric and improve their budgets. -- Improve the records of My main policies: - Develop a network counselling services to share your passion for the role, and the drive to Sitting on Union Council and the Arts FiveSixEight’s doors -- Review bar the Union’s historic £200k collection of amongst departmental Welfare Officers concerns and feelings confidentially. really help people. Imperial Board -- Being involved with staff pay and conditions -- Create an tankards. with annual training and regular - Campaign to increase funding for the

Candidate Manifestos: Deputy President (Welfare) Yusuf Qureshi Jessica Chapman as big as the stigma around mental Blackboard and in the new student health conditions. I believe no problem welcome pack This candidate did not supply a manifesto. Hello, person reading this. Whilst I really is too big or too small when it comes * improving communication between hope you’re enjoying your time at to your health and happiness. My goals students and staff Imperial, there’s a possibility that that include: * emphasising the importance of of isn’t the case- that you’ve felt scared * full mental health first aid training for organisation, timeliness and reliability in and alone, or too dumb to be here, or more staff, and subsidised sessions for the way courses are run filled with self-hate for re-watching Bake students * improving awareness of exam Off instead of doing your mechanics * establishing student support groups- adjustments other than extra time homework. The good news is that you both for those struggling and for their * better training for personal tutors and aren’t alone- not by a long shot. loved ones and friends supervisors * inviting external speakers with * more consistent support for those I want to be your Welfare Officer disabilities or mental health issues who taking an interruption of studies because I am genuinely passionate have had successful careers in STEM For more information on my policies about welfare, from things as small as * creating clear, concise resources on and why I think I’d be good, you can effective use of Panopto to things as Imperial’s welfare services, both on check out my extended manifesto.

Candidate Manifestos: Felix Editor Sophie Johnston • Guidance document for those VOTE LBGT+ REFORMS • Campaigning interrupting studies and Year in Industry for more gender-neutral toilets on VOTE EXPERIENCE • Actively involved students, including how to obtain all campuses • Eliminate transphobia Fred Fyles > Hold investigative journalism social media, encouraging direct with Imperial College Union, working mental health support Departmental in bathrooms • Clear guidelines and workshops, encouraging students to feedback > Collaborate with ICTV to at Beit Bars, and active in leadership of support • Restructure the personal tutor formalisation on how to change names, Hello! I’m Fred, and I’ve been involved question College policy. KEEP THE encourage video journalism > Create a RAG and Comedy Society • Member system - including training in supporting titles and IDs at Imperial • LGBT+ mental with Felix for the last five years. In CAT FRIENDLY > Create a welcome weekly newsletter, with the best stories of the LGBT+ community • First-hand students with mental health problems health issues incorporated into tutor, this time, I’ve been nominated for a environment for Felix, with face-to-face sent straight to your inbox. KEEP THE experience of struggles obtaining and Specific Learning Difficulties • hall senior and mental health First Aider Guardian Student Media Award, edited feedback and drop-in sessions where CAT FOR ALL > Work with ICSMSU, mental health and financial support Mental health first aiders across all training • LGBT+ 101 leaflets in fresher three editions of Phoenix magazine, writers can discuss ideas > Ensure Felix’s CGCU, RSMU, and RCSU to ensure during an interruption year • Former departments Improving Imperial College welcome packs • Incorporate LGBT+ and edited the Culture, Arts, and fresher issue is in all first year halls > diversity of voices > Collaborate and community & events officer for a healthcare • Increased funding from training for new students and staff Film sections. I love Felix, but it’s not Hold workshops on news reporting, establish ties with other societies, such charity, leading a team through multiple college to shorten wait times • Support perfect. If elected, I promise to: KEEP criticism, and feature writing giving as PhotoSoc > Establish a weekly listings campaigns. VOTE SUPPORT for substance abuse • Improved mental VOTE SOPH, and together we can put THE CAT FREE > Hold the Union and students the confidence to get involved section where clubs and societies can Support during interruption years • health counselling for international welfare at the forefront of life at IC. Sabbatical Officers to account, with KEEP THE CAT FORWARD THINKING advertise events > Ensure that Felix Lobby college to set up an emergency students taking interruption years termly progress reports showing what > Establish a dedicated online team to speaks for all students, not just a few fund for all interruption students #sophantastic campaign promises haven’t been get news up when it happens, rather delivered > Establish alternative revenue than waiting until Friday > Redesign the VOTE FRED FOR FELIX EDITOR! sources to increase Felix’s independence Felix website > Improve integration with

issues such as support for interruptions Fintan O’Connor many small changes. • Mental Health: a wider array of students to contribute. as they are done, posting small, web- of study, among others. • Personal Qasim Mahmood Continue work in frontline training, However, the biggest issue facing the only articles and videos on the more Tutors: Work to design a system where The Union and the College are at a development of College services, and I’m Qasim, a fourth-year Aerospace newspaper is its lack of digital presence; interesting content, such as interviews access to a good personal tutor is not a critical point in their welfare strategy. better mapping of how to get help, in Materials student. Over the past four the infrequency of Facebook posts and with the authors or more in-depth lucky dip. • Sexual Assault and Consent: You deserve a DPW who is passionate, and out of Imperial. • Listen to you: years I’ve been at Imperial, I’ve written the lack of any web-only content is discussions on a topic. Having been Capitalise on current successes; committed to supporting you, and can Engage you in the process – help you many high-quality articles for Felix, holding the paper back significantly, and Publicity Head of Charity Week, I have maximise the benefit to students negotiate to create a lasting legacy to shape your union. Welfare is diverse – ranging from science to technology this sorely needs to be rectified. ample experience with publicising from the HEFCE proposal for active of better service provision. I have every one of you matters. EXPERIENCE and gaming. Being deeply involved with events, which I can use to promote bystander training, more comprehensive the vision, the enthusiasm and the • CGCU Welfare Officer • Working the newspaper as a content provider, This is exactly what I aim to improve, Felix. I also aim to give societies allotted sexual violence disclosure guidelines, experience to be that officer. closely under current DPW • Union I have a very different outlook on how by holding more open, well-publicised times to contribute articles to promote and sexual violence liaison officers. • Council voting member • Community Felix should operate than those who’ve events to tackle general tips for writing upcoming events and discuss relevant Campaigning: Follow up on the review ACTION • Education and Welfare and Welfare Board voting member worked as section editors. articles, aimed towards giving people content. This, along with inter-uni of campaigning support. Better support Link: I recognise that education and • Under Pressure Campaign volunteer more confidence to contribute. I will articles and contributors will significantly and training for liberation officers. welfare are inextricably linked. Will work • Sexual health supplies and advice The lack of diversity is still an issue, and massively increasing Felix’s social media boost readership and make Felix a paper Enable the student body to shape their closely with the DP (Education) to solve provision there needs to be a drive to encourage presence, by posting articles as soon to be proud of. community. Believe in the power of problems at the source, supporting • Academic Year Rep a wider array of students to contribute. as they are done, posting small, web- Jonathan Masters make all sports nights free, and Owen Heaney the paper was sent to a ‘working 2. Fostering communication between everyone will get one free portion group’ and quickly forgotten. This year, Council and the Trustee board through Too long has Felix drained the union of curly fries ( no cheese/chilli you Council is a part of the Union known despite being off-campus on a year’s regular reports of the activities of each dry for unnecessary funds that could scroungers). I promise more inclusion, by relatively few and understood placement, I have remained active to the other be used elsewhere, and does anybody namely less lefty whiners writing by fewer, yet it is one of the most in its process, co-authoring a pair of actually read Felix for any reason articles, and more memes (preferably important bodies involved in running papers again trying to improve Council’s 3. Improving the visibility of Council in other than the puzzles section? The of the dank variety). Please vote for the Union, so it is important to pick procedures so it can do good work the wider student body by publishing personality cult of editors and their me for a better Felix, a fairer Felix, and the right candidate for Chair. I am for every student at Imperial. These, details of meetings in the most new age centre-folds must end. Felix something you will actually want to an experienced member of Council, too, were sent to working groups prominent place possible and getting currently costs the union around read. and have seen first-hand the positive and forgotten. As Council Chair, I will work out when an important decision is £40,000 a year, but under my leadership changes which it can implement when improve the effectiveness of Council by: due to be made. this era of fake tabloid news will end it’s working well. However, there have as we finally accept that print is dead been problems; as an Ordinary Member, 1. Pushing on with positive changes to You will not find anyone more and move into the 21st century. In the I proposed reforms aiming to improve Union structures to make sure everyone committed to improving the Union’s money we will save by making Felix the way Council works. Despite being is properly represented structures than me. Please, vote for app-based and online-centered, I will well-received by a majority present, Owen Heaney for Council Chair. Candidate Manifestos: Student Trustee Candidate Manifestos: ICSMSU President Eric Suen improve imperial’s university experience. If elected, I would continue to reach out Marinos Ioannides and yet no solution is forthcoming. 2) Monthly Meetings with the leaders Recently, I’ve looked into how difficult to more of you, and make sure that your How many more issues like this have of all major clubs within ICSM to tackle Hi! I’m Eric, currently an Ordinary it is to get appointments from Career voices are heard. If there’s any college Sometimes it takes a fresh outlook to fix been abandoned halfway through this the issues facing societies promptly and Member of the Union Council , and I’m Services during peak season, which I’m matters that you believe are unjust or a broken system. process? How many boring lectures, deal with them efficiently. running for the role of Student Trustee. sure some of you may relate to. Thanks should be changed, I would be more terrible courses and mismanaged In my three years at Council, which is to the feedback I gathered from you all, I than willing to take emails or messages, Six months ago I discovered an projects still exist because a student 3) Termly Open Forum with the Senior the governance level below the trustee was able to pass a paper addressing the and to express your concerns on behalf oversight in the new bursary system. couldn’t reach the right people? Enough Faculty. The only way change can board, I’ve tried my best to voice your issue through council. of you. This oversight reduces the funding is enough. I promise to implement 3 truly happen is if the faculty hear our concerns and to lobby for change. From allocated by almost 20%. I wasn’t on main solutions from my very first day as complaints, and I will make that happen opposing the closure of the Weeks Hall Along with my experience at various Dedicated, motivated and approachable, SU, wasn’t a treasurer, and wasn’t even president: with public Q&A meetings between you accommodation at Prince’s Garden, college-wide committees, e.g. the I genuinely hope that I could have your affected personally by this mistake. and the faculty at least once per term. to suggesting the extension of student Health and Safety Committee and vote as student trustee this year! However, I made it my business to 1) Weekly Meetings between myself and loans, and to promoting the “re-boot” Discipline Committee, I hope to find a solution. Six months later and a cross section of ICSM students. I will Sometimes it takes a fresh outlook to fix of Evelyn Gardens as a student hall convince you that I have the experience the issue still persists. I’ve met with visit Imperial sites and have lunch with a broken system. That’s why I’m running (instead of leaving it defunct) for non- and heart to represent you at the trustee department heads, administrators and any student who wants to discuss any for President. first-years, I’ve been working hard to board. even Martin Lupton himself, problem they are facing, large or small. You decide who Thomas Waite I believe my track record points to my Rhys Smith the history and traditions that make us the Union to improve the efficiency ability to represent our views and make proud to say we are part of ICSM. of club activities. I will do this by will run yourI have had the Youprivilege of being decide this an impact who in doing this. As Physoc My past two years on ICSMSU increasing the space available to our year’s Physics Society President and I President I’ve brought onboard record have given me the experience and Education. I will empower students clubs, maximising transport options and have previously represented my year funding, organised a huge Christmas knowledge to thrive in this role. Having throughout their degree by offering reducing the bureaucracy surrounding Constituentas a Year Union! Rep. Thesewill experiences run have yourDinner, jointly coordinated a three already run a multitude of successful more student choice modules. This will your activity. taught me what students expect and society ‘Undergrad Physics Research’ events, such as the town hall meeting deliver a course tailored to your specific want from their Union. I want to put this conference and will be leading our with faculty, to freshers, I know I have interests right from the start. Events. Expand our range of events Decide your nextinto Constituent practice byConstituent becoming a Student international Union! tour to Prague. the skill-set to best represent you. Our and introduce new activities to provide Union PresidentTrustee. and Committee strong community spirit is matched Welfare. By offering personal tutor experiences that all can enjoy, without Decide your nextI have Constituenta proven record of being able only by the hard work all of our students systems based at Charing Cross, at a breaking the bank! The student trustees sit on the trustee to deliver and make the things that we put in, and I want to make sure you time that suits you, I will ensure that our now. board of the Union.Union They are Presidentultimately want happen. and As Committee your student trustee I get the recognition you deserve for welfare and personal tutor provision is Thank you for taking the time to read responsible for everything that the will help guide an even more successful that. I want to be your next president easily accessible. my manifesto, for more about my ideas Union does, decidingnow. its vision and Union. Vote Waite! so that together we can take ICSM into visit my website. And don’t forget...... Voting opens values. the modern world whilst preserving Clubs and Societies. I will work with VOTE RHYS! 12:00, Friday 3 MarchVoting opens 12:00, Friday 3 March Voting closes Candidate Manifestos: Council Chair Your voteVoting will closes create change that 12:00, Friday 10 March Roy Tal Dew structure of the council and improve would conduct meetings in smaller 12:00, Friday 10 March these limitations. I’ve been the groups to create a more open makes a difference at Imperial. Despite the Council being a crucial Academic Representative of my atmosphere where students could branch of the student union, it remains course for the past two years and was more comfortably approach council Vote online at Vote online at somewhat underrepresented. The a member of the Student Council in members. I believe that these changes Who will you choose to take the lead? Council is the democratic medium my school for four. I believe that these would incentivise input across the entire imperialcollegeunion.org/vote for ordinary students to propose and positions have given me appropriate university rather than being restricted to Voting opensimperialcollegeunion.Votingorg/ closesvote vote for union policies. The Chair is experience in voicing the opinions of the loudest voices. You can also vote on your mobile phone! Visit bit.ly/voteicuYou can alsothrough vote on your mobile phone! Visit bit.ly/voteicu through responsible for governing the flow the student population to authority your phone’s browser. your phone’s browser. of information between the Council figures. If elected, I would deal with the Lastly, I hope to raise awareness about 12:00, Friday 3 March 12:00, Friday 10 March and the Officer Trustees. However, problem of intimidation by bridging the Council by advertising important the current lack of awareness and the gap between the student body and information on social media, such as Visit our website to vote and get more information on all the positions Visitand ourcandidates. website to vote and get more information on all the positions and candidates. intimidating atmosphere of Council the Council. In order to achieve this, I Facebook. I’m confident this would imperialcollegeunion.org/elections meetings does not facilitate appropriate suggest putting in place a simple and provide the average student with a imperialcollegeunion.org/elections representation of the student body. anonymous platform for students to better understanding of union policy- As Chair, I would strive to reshape the propose their motions. Additionally, I making. 26 felixonline.co.uk/culture [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017

elix CULTURE f ou can now add particular, plays off brilliantly plot to subtly get the message Riverdale to with Veronica Lodge, who’s across. As a high-school the increasing trying to move past the rich- drama, it’s appreciated that list of media girl personality she’s known this series is more reflective of Life with adaptations of for in the comics. Reggie current times and society. various forms Mantle is still a tool, but hey, At the end of the day, ofY literature. Like most recent there’s gotta be that one jock most of the characters are adaptations, Riverdale also who don’t care about. teenagers, so this is largely a Archie | goes for a darker and edgier The overarching story high-school drama. For some feel; however in this case, revolves around the murder people, that’s not really an this approach pulls off and of a student, Jason Blos- issue but if you’re the kind of actually works spectacularly soms and the circumstances person who wanted to get Riverdale well. surrounding his death. This away from all that, this show Riverdale is based upon the plot point forms the glue of may not be for you. I’ve read the show, driving several characters together and \\ If you stop and putting them into contact, and \\ As a high-school often conflict with each other. think about it, a We learn several secrets and drama, it’s appreci- completely faithful mysteries from practically all ated that this series the characters, and it is this adaptation ran the mystery that keeps us craving is more reflective of risk of being stale \\ the instalment so that we get current times \\ all the answers. Sometimes things may happen just to Archie Comics, which was a move the plot forward but it’s somewhere online that this fun light-hearted series about only a minor point, and one show is described as “Twin the general lives of different only notice if you really pay Peaks with attractive people”. teenagers in a small town attention. I can honestly say that is the called Riverdale. The Archie An interesting little titbit is case; sure there’s the mystery Comics are probably most how diverse the show is and and intrigue, but there’s also well known for their spin-offs, how it tries to reflect and a fair amount of fan service. Josie and the Pussycats and provide some commentary on In fact now that I think about Sabrina the Teenage Witch. real life. We see a young gay it, I’m sure practically every The stories told were fairly man, open up about himself relevant character is really colorful and comedic, making and his feelings; we see attractive in some shape or up for their lack of depth with Archie get called on for his form. I suppose you can’t an entertainment factor. white privilege when he wants really get everything right If you stop and think about to help the all-black Pussycats about high school. it, a completely faithful adap- band write some of their Riverdale is a very much tation ran the risk of being songs. In one episode, there’s ‘CW’ take on the Archie Careful you don’t cut yourself on all that stale or uninspiring. Riverdale a frank discussion on the Comics; but it is one with edge \\ The CW takes the comic series and impact of slut-shaming as well interesting mythos and strong characters and gives it its own as how it may affect some of acting, with some shocking spin, which gives the show the victims. What’s really nice story developments thrown an extra layer of complexity, is that none of these moments in here and there. While while still resembling the orig- ever feel forced or present seeing old characters with a inal material enough to be just to fill a quota, but rather, twist may be a bit jarring and considered an adaptation. are naturally woven into the even though we’re a few epi- Saad Ahmed The characters are written sodes into the first season, it way deeper than their one-di- definitely looks as though mensional portrayals in the viewers are in for a comics. At the centre of the wild and engaging show is Archie Andrews, an ride. attractive red-haired student (who we see shirtless a number of times), who wants to become a musician whilst struggling to maintain an illicit relationship with his music teacher. Rather than being portrayed as a clumsy, humor- ous everyman, this version is more driven, uncertain and world-weary. Betty Cooper is still the cute girl next door, but one with an overbear- ing mother and struggles A kind of Dynamic Duo \\ The CW with perfectionism. She in Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 27

MILLENNIALS elix armour, and is shackled by a and beast is the driving force strange;f they feel tactile, yet metal collar. After attempt- of the entire game; Trico is also rather clunky. The but- ing to help by removing the your only means of dispatch- tons are mapped to directions Game Review first spear, he does not take ing the eerie, ghost-like suits meaning triangle is jump kindly to your presence and of armour that hunt you, and and X is crawl, taking after lashes out, knocking the boy time and time again you must Shadow of the Colossus and, unconscious. However, your place your life in his ability generally, older Japanese | The Last continued efforts to help after to do so. On the flip side, the games. There’s a heft involved you awaken eventually pay boy can progress to areas in every action you perform, off; the spears are removed, where Trico cannot, open as the boy struggles notice- Guardian the collar is unlocked and his passages to move further, and ably to pick up barrels and armour falls to the ground. bring back barrels of food to climb ledges, making every The creature is freed, and thus nurse Trico back to health. action feel more meaningful. your journey begins. Trico is the real star of The camera is also incredibly At first, Trico is wary and the game. He is incredibly frustrating at times, seeming detailed, and seems to be to not work very well at all in an amalgamation of several close-quarters. \\ The bond different creatures. His I realise that these flaws will feathers ruffle individually in be more than enough to make between boy and the wind, and he is incredibly people pass this game up, or beast is the driving expressive; his facial expres- force of the entire sions and body language tell you a lot about any situation \\ You don’t see the game \\ you are in. His eyes change colour when he is angry, he code or the artificial will look at you with wide characterisation that only tentatively aids the boy eyes and tilt his head when in traversing the landscape, curious, and he will sit on his defines most video and needs to be coaxed into hind legs and make plaintive game characters \\ helping by using food barrels cries when he can’t find that are found lying around. you. He gets injured and However, this relationship heals slowly as you progress at least will massively affect slowly builds until the boy is through the story; any spears their enjoyment. However, United we stand \\ genDESIGN able to give basic commands, you leave lodged in him will the bond you build with Trico and Sony Interactive Entertainment and eventually the pivotal stay there throughout the feels natural and organic, moment arrives when you entire game. Trico truly feels and its execution is sublime. must trust Trico with your life, alive. When you look into his As the game drew to its close, as you jump off a platform eyes after you’ve managed this unspoken bond far out- hoping he will catch you as to escape a particularly dan- weighed any of the flaws I felt you plummet into the abyss gerous situation, you don’t the game had and because below. Near the end of the see the code or the artificial of this, I truly believe The Last Qasim Mahmood story this bond is so great that characterisation that defines Guardian one of the best Trico actively nuzzles the boy most video game characters. games of the past decade. with his head, and is greatly You see an honest portrayal The Last Guardian is out on troubled when he can’t see of an intricate, living thing. you. The bond between boy The controls are incredibly the Playstation 4

his is, without a linked and The Last Guardian doubt, a truly seems to be a marriage of phenomenal the two, as you partner with game. Created a massive beast to escape a by the minds over ruined castle. at genDESIGN It all begins as you, a young T(previously Team ICO), it boy, awaken in a dark, damp bears a striking resemblance cave with a giant creature to both of their previous named Trico imprisoned at games, Ico and Shadow your side. Before you learn of the Colossus. In Ico you anything about the beast or played a boy guiding a the situation you find yourself helpless young girl through in, you are compelled to free a castle in an attempt to him and nurse him back to escape, while Shadow health in an act of empathy of the Colossus tasks you and kindness that goes on to with finding and killing 16 define the entire game. As monstrous beasts. Despite you interact with Trico, you being so different, the two notice that he has spears games seem intrinsically lodged in the gaps of the Boy’s best friend, a weird, Griffin-like monster \\ genDESIGN and Sony Interactive Entertainment 28 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 29 felix MILLENNIALS MILLENNIALS felix Life in the blogosphere #tablesituation The ugly truth behind food waste

You might envy the food bloggers of Sadly, it has to be said that we are the instagram world - all those lovely a wasteful species - and this is often free meals, cocktails and socialising most apparent on our plates. We’ve with the hip and trendy from across got some ideas as to how you can the culinary scene. An insiders view change that, and why you should

shows that it’s sometimes a bit more bother doing so. Sarah Kakadellis superficial, but you’ll still probably here is no way being a foodie; it’s about be jealous at the end, sorry. of denying it: we being an educated, responsi- Christy Lam overproduce. ble one. You cannot pretend Constantly. We to be passionate about food throw. Shamelessly. without considering the food osh, what a on North Row, a restaurant We waste. chain as a whole and measur- morning, I serving British food, a rarity TConsciously. Every day, ing its impact not only on our thought to in the area. The room, con- tonnes of food are thrown society, but on our ecosystem myself as I verted from a listed stable, away simply because some as a whole. How about what modernfamer.com landed on a was decorated in their distinc- food legislation has put a we don’t eat, about what we lush, green, tive, classy interior of red and standardized limit ‘eat before’ guiltlessly throw away? It Gvelvet chair, flushed and out dark green walls, chandeliers date or due to surplus. Worse, seems so ironic how students of breath from an intense and mahogany tables. because we buy more than often complain about tiny buying local, and seasonal. achievement too. By putting power walking session down After catching up with the we really need. However, budgets when so much of Strawberries in February will in common what one wants to 1 cup jumbo oats Park Lane (my definition of latest restaurant openings for catering companies, their grocery shopping goes of course cost you thrice as get rid of when someone else 1 cup sugar (brown for more being ‘fashionably late’). and Trump’s rants on Twitter, I restaurants and cafés, for to waste. On a low budget, much as they would in June, craves for the same thing, flavoured crumble) A fellow blogger sitting escaped from the crazy world which food waste is a daily we tend to choose quantity if not more. Choose your a whole common project of 1/3 cup room-temperature butter th opposite was doing her 5 outside to study the breakfast issue, acknowledging it is still over quality, and students are products yourself, rather than sustainability emerges. And (salted or not, whatever’s in the re-run on Snapchat: “…it’s menu in an elegant, black, something inconsiderable. As the first victims of this vicious already packaged. You’d be there is nothing more empow- fridge) in cubes too early in the morning to art deco font: lobster eggs if by admitting a truth we all cycle. Bigger packages offer amazed to see how cheaper ering than building a more 1 tsp ground cinnamon do this without a filter…” benedict, haggis, Devonshire know – although we refuse deals that outcompete any the very same tomatoes are sustainable future together. Other bloggers purred at crab omelettes, devilled veal to believe it ourselves – it individual offer. Yet, I spend when you pick them alone. Before you chuck your 1 tsp vanilla extract each other, exchanging kidneys. A pancake menu \\ The table of buttercup yellow hollandaise would expose them to shame, less than any of my friends Buy ‘simple’, non-processed wrinkly apples, why don’t you delicate kisses on cheeks and was also available in time sauce. You could hear shutter customers’ disapproval and on food. Around £10, up food. It’s not that hard to give them another chance 1. Preheat the oven to Instagram-perfect smiles. for Pancake Day, featuring bloggers all stood sounds from the cameras, like ultimately to bankruptcy. to £15 a week. That’s right, make your own morning por- and treat yourself or your 180°C/350F/Gas 4. It is always events like this smoked salmon, scrambled up like meerkats, a machine gun shooting at It is outrageous how our one five. Fair enough, I ridge with basic ingredients friends with a delicious apple 2. Place the flour, sugar that makes my inner introvert duck eggs all the way to dry the beautiful plate of smoked modern society, one of am vegetarian with vegan rather than buy the ‘ready crumble or turn the potatoes and oats in a large bowl and feel... out of place. My com- aged sirloin steak (yes, on phones and cameras salmon crepes that was overproduction and fierce aspirations; I am a not-that- to eat’ package. Besides, and carrots that have been mix well. Add a few drops of bination of typical Chinese pancakes). Interesting. ready, making way ordered “just for photos”. consumerism, has allowed tall (hey not so-short-either doesn’t food taste so much lying around for way too long vanilla extract. Add the cubes features, black hair, small The waitress, slightly flus- This continued for another such a phenomenon to build though) girl. But let’s look at better when it is homemade? into a creamy carrot soup? of butter and rub into the eyes and all, was an anomaly tered by the never-ending for the breakfast 10 minutes until each social in throughout the past years. it from another perspective. This article isn’t about dic- These recipes will fill your flour mixture. Keep rubbing amongst the sea of blonde buzz of demands from the plates \\ media account was satisfied. The more we produce, the I tend to go for high quality tating the lifestyle you ought palate and your mind – as until the mixture resembles hair, bronzed cheeks and lips only table that morning, took By then, the food has gone more extra we produce. products, organic whenever to adopt. Mine alone is far well as your wallet – with breadcrumbs. tinted with the most-hyped our orders and left us to con- cold, per usual. I picked up Competition between brands I can. Moreover, I love nuts. from being perfect. It is about joy. And next time you see 3. Peel and core the apple MLBB (My Lips But Better) tinue on the blogger chit chat phones and cameras ready, my knife and fork, slicing the has led to overproduction I’m absolutely nuts about raising questions. About start- that really tempting offer and cut into cubes, about the colour on Youtube. Being a for another half-hour. making way for the breakfast caramelized banana on my at minimal costs, with little nuts. And my favourite way of ing to be aware of what we at the shop, think about all size of a big thumb. Place the third year Chemical Engineer- The food arrived when the plates, pushing away stained hazelnut praline pancake. benefit to the companies who spending a chill evening is to consume, or rather how we the yummy food at home fruit in an ovenproof dish and ing student at Imperial didn’t caffeine had finally seeped napkins and water glasses, The spongy pancake had first started this strategy. The bake. All these should signifi- do so. Last year I joined an that still waits to be eaten sprinkle the crumble base on help either – conversations into my brain. What followed fighting for the spot with the soaked up the melted vanilla consumers themselves – that cantly increase the cost of my app that shares leftovers by with love. For the love of our top. were better kept away from was the scene that you’ll best natural light, positioning ice cream, still delicious is, us – are not left untouched shopping list, and hence coun- a means of bringing the local planet, start sharing food and 4. Bake in the oven for a 20-year old’s daunting never, ever see through that the food for the perfect #flat- despite the prolonged photo- either, constantly manipu- terbalance the advantages of community together and pre- preventing food waste. Food 20-35 minutes until the coursework deadlines and static, photoshopped square lay shot. shooting session. lated by massive advertising my diet. venting food waste. I realized tastes much better when it is crumble is browned and back to London Fashion Week on Instagram. Perfectly poached Burford The meal phased out as campaigns and never-ending So how to minimize your one thing, a simple equation: shared – or when it is free. the fruit mixture bubbling. and brand-sponsored trips Like any other event, I was Brown eggs were carefully fellow bloggers began to rush varieties to choose from, food expenses without sharing food equals sharing Serve warm with thick cream, abroad. ready for their arrival – my sliced open to reveal that off for their next event. Shame producing a crowd that is starving yourself? There is happiness. It feels like you Apple and cinnamon oat custard or ice cream, or just This morning wasn’t any trusty DSLR on my right, my river of bright orange #yolk- – half the dishes were left completely lost in the ocean no secret to it. Only rational won the lottery when you pick crumble enjoy plain. different from the rest of the 8 iPhone logged on to Insta- porn. An artistically cut ruby unfinished. A typical #tablesit- of quantity – often over qual- thinking, which most of us, as up free food from someone 6-8 apples (wrinkly apples most am press breakfasts scribbled gram Story mode on my left. grapefruit was shuffled across uation in the blogging world. ity, but that is another story to scientists, would be expected else. It feels even better when welcome) in my schedule. Except for a I was, of course, not the only the table to give that contrast- And a typical snapshot of be told. to have. And a relentless you give away what you change in environment. I was one. The table of bloggers ing pop of colour against the my morning from the eyes of The saying goes, ‘you are will to radically change our would otherwise throw away 1 cup flour sitting in Boisdale of Mayfair all stood up like meerkats, green crushed avocado and a blogger. what you eat’. It isn’t about current mentality. Start with and there is this feeling of

Imperial Bursary If your family’s household income has changed you can be reassessed during the academic year by the Student Finance England (or equivalent awarding body). You need to ask for a current year income assessment which will assess your household’s current financial situation. You may be entitled to a larger loan for living costs from the Student Loans Company and larger Imperial Bursary. Once you have been assessed you must get in touch with the Student Financial Support Team before 1 May 2017 to be reassessed for your Imperial Bursary.

It is available for each year of your course, so long

as your household income is below £60,000

There are exceptions. Go to imperial.ac.uk/fees-and-funding to find out more.

STUDENT FINANCIAL CONTACT THE STUDENT SUPPORT can give advice FINANCIAL SUPPORT TEAM on the cost of living in TO FIND OUT MORE: London, emergency funding, funding for +44(0)20 7594 9014 placements and advice Student Hub, Level 3, on your SLC loans and Sherfield Building the Imperial Bursary. www.Imperial.ac.uk/fees-and-funding Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 31 MILLENNIALS felix SEX Enter the kink | BDSM 101 B.C. Maile

ollowing the election BDSM community about these have a lot of overlap, so gags. spanking, clamps, weights or theme, today I’m books, the majority of which people who are into one of Domination: This is more electrodes on various body going to talk about suggests that it is not really a them tend to be into a few of a vague one, and there’s parts, the list goes on. relinquishing control book about BDSM at all; it’s if not all of them. Whilst I’m not too much to say on it. It Now we’re all caught up on of yourself to just abuse-themed masturba- sure most readers will know involves a partner or partners definitions, you might be won- someone who you tory material for your mum. I what they mean, I’ll outline it taking a dominant role, while dering why people like this Fdeem trustworthy enough not can’t really comment as I only anyway just in case. another partner or partners sort of thing. To provide some to cause permanent damage got halfway through before I Bondage: bondage is a submit. understanding, I interviewed to your well-being. Welcome got bored, but what I can do blanket term for practices Sado-masochism: This refers two friends: one of them a to BDSM 101. is give a little insight into what relating to restraint of the to people who get off on pansexual girl and the other There’s been a fair bit of BDSM is all about. body and sensory depri- inflicting pain on others, and a gay guy. To conceal their press around BDSM since the BDSM stands for bondage, vation. This can go from those who enjoy having pain identities, I will use the pseu- release of those Fifty Shades domination, and sado-mas- furry handcuffs, ropes and inflicted on them. This can donyms Hamisha Beck and of Grey books. There’s been ochism. They are all quite blindfolds anywhere up to involve whipping, caning, Hamish Beck respectively. a fair bit of backlash from the different things, but certainly full-body straitjackets and

So first off, what are you two into when it What do you like about BDSM? comes to BDSM? Well it’s hard to pin one thing down but I definitely find the control very hot. Teasing and playing right on the edge of peoples’ limits is a huge I’m into all of it a little bit really. I like shibari (Japanese artistic turn on for me. I guess it’s just really exciting. rope bondage) and I’m a bit of a sadist at heart. I take a domi- nant role. I’ve subbed in the past but it’s not really my thing. I just love the complete forfeiture of control. It’s hard to explain why without getting too Freudian. As for the pain side, I think all I’m also into most of it, but I’m a full on sub. My main thing is sensory extremes are quite deeply connected. That uncertainty full-body restraint. I like being completely unable to move and of whether a feeling is pleasurable or painful is just so exciting to particularly being suspended from something. I’m also quite into me. electro play. Any advice for those wanting to try it Do you have equipment for this? out? I’ve got a nice silk rope set, a couple of whips, a riding crop, a spanking paddle, some nipple clamps and a spreader bar (attaches to the ankles and Consent! Consent and trust are the big things here. It’s important that you wrists to keep the legs spread apart) start slowly, and establish your partner’s comfort zone before you start to push beyond it. When you finally do, push gently, and remember the impor- I’ve got quite a collection so I’ll just list it and you can explain what the tance of aftercare. things are. I’ve got a sleepsack (basically a full body straightjacket), ropes, a suspension frame (to hang the sleepsack from), a paddle, several leather I second that. Aftercare is a big thing. It’s important that after a session is and rubber hoods, spreader bars, weights to hang on the balls, an elec- finished, everyone involved feels respected and safe. trostim buttplug and and electrocock cage (they shock your bits). \\ It’s And that concludes our interview! I’d just like to highlight that last What’s your number one fantasy? important that point. Consent and trust really are the most important things in any encounter, and it seems that is why Fifty Shades received such I wouldn’t really say I have one. I get to live out most of mine so I after a session is a bad reaction from the BDSM community. BDSM is not about like a mix really. Most of them involve pretty rope arrangement finished, everyone abuse, it’s about mutually-enjoyed, exciting sexual experiences. though. Google shibari and you’ll see what I mean. For that reason, I’d recommend you leave that book on your involved feels mum’s bedside table, and learn about BDSM from pros like Hami- I think my number one fantasy is to be suspended in a sleepsack, respected and sha and Hamish. I hope that’s been somewhat enlightening. See gagged, with an electro butt plug and electro pads on my dick, you next week! while someone else controls the power dial. safe \\ 32 felixonline.co.uk/millennials [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 felix MILLENNIALS My plan failed and also I’m back to liberate I’m triggered by sheep my column from now foreign oppression

Jonathan Masters’ plan to Monathan Jasters is back to show relinquish this world sadly failed, you what’s up and shit all over but now he is back to rejoice from ICU’s elections and the Oscars the defeat of La La Land among other things V S f any of you remember, when to become black became available pparently for the listen to the liberal elite complain I wrote my last column, I to me I would take it faster than last couple of about a fairly elected leader, I had been intent on living you could call me Rachel Dolezal. weeks my usual would read this tampon of a news- in isolation for the next few Another thing to take happiness column has been paper. I did hear about the utter years. However, I don’t think from is the fact that when the farmed out to a travesty of political correctness, anyone actually makes it past polar ice caps eventually melt, we few immigrants. however, which didn’t surprise Ithe naked people in the centrefold, will no longer have to contend AOn the one hand I agree with me, but still made me shit blood so who knows if anyone actually with the alt-right, racism, gourmet slave labour, but the idea of giving regardless. What a surprise that read that. Anyway, needless to burger places that don’t give you more work to the Chinese makes the Hollywood elite couldn’t just say, my self-enforced isolation kind chips when you buy a burger as me feel like vomiting up my own let a good film win. It had to be of came to a halt when I realised if they’re some sort of side dish, asshole. If any of my dedicated the SJW festival of black homos that I had forgotten to bring any vegan fried chicken restaurants (if readers are wondering where just to prove that they’re not racist coconut water for hydration, you want to be vegan, don’t try to I have been for the past couple – how about just admit it and instead I had to suck from the pretend to be all high and mighty of weeks, unfortunately I am not move on? That’s what I’ve done teat of the sheep I brought with when you’re just trying to replace legally allowed to say due to the and it means I don’t have to watch me. However, I may have sucked chicken), and also sheep. I get trig- case still being in court, however, moody two hour dramas about its (gender is as fluid as sheep gered every time I see one now, so I can tell you that it rhymes with known homosexuals crying, or milk so please don’t forget your please put trigger warnings on any hexual sarassment. Honestly just a whatever they do. I was surprised, pronouns) whole body dry. Well, farmyard related posts in future bunch of uptight liberals being so however, because I thought that as a result, I may have ended up please. entrenched up their own asses that black people couldn’t be homo- inadvertently killing the sheep and they’re just too frigid for their own sexuals – or is it that they can’t after a few days dead goat really good. swim? Anyway, Lala Land is not starts to stink out the place. If I had Of course big papi Trump has overrated and should have won, remembered to bring my vegan been continuously slandered for and it’s good to be back. pot pourri with me then I could the past couple of weeks for no have perhaps dealt with it, but apparent reason – It was a ban on unfortunately I bought four copies terrorists, not Muslims. If you had of No Logo instead. Oh well. actually read the executive order Now that isolating myself from then you would known that! Also the real world has failed, I have the whole ‘he’s not my president!’ decided to fully embrace change vibe has gotten old and we should and somehow cope with the next finally come together and become couple of years by learning to a unified nation. Apart from the take comfort in the little joys in life blacks and lesbians of course. – like the fact that the overrated From one crooked election to white-centric La La Land had their another, the Imperial College best picture Oscar wrenched out Union elections have started, or of their white-privileged-jazz-bro so I hear. It looks like this year’s hands in order to give it to the collection of people too inept for superior film that is Moonlight. a real job and medicine students Now, although I was born in who have run out of money for the Cambridge to a local MP, that film last years of their degree promises * Sponsored by made me wish that I was a known to be the most uneventful election The Oscars homosexual, that I was a muscled to date. If I were to predict who black man, and that my mother would win, I would come to the had a crack cocaine addiction. I opinion that no-one gives a shit, as just have always identified more long as the hot ones win. with African culture than my own, Did anyone watch the Oscars? and if in the future the opportunity Yeah me neither – if I wanted to Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/millennials 33 MILLENNIALS felix

CRISIS Dear Floyd,

I think I met your baby sitter at an ACC! dare they assume my gender ? Dear Chris, Chris Arguably, I do not remember everything, but you chose her well: she facesitted on my Anyway, to address your problem, I think you Two of my closest friends colluded behind my back to babyface, and it was amazing. I ended up overlooked the obvious answer. If you are in nominate me in the upcoming leadership elections. (I knew throwing up my liquid intake of the night, but charge of counting quorum, and you don’t I should never have given them my college ID, but how did she had thankfully gotten off me (and gotten show up, who will count you as absent? So they guess my password was Ilikespankings?). Unfortunately, off in general) by then. Anyway, I should enjoy the elections, the results party (can you the policy that would have allowed me to pull out has lapsed, really find something that holds to the stomach bring your baby sitter with you again?) and and I am now the only candidate for junior assistant council better. Maybe those new pre-pulled pints will don’t take your new job seriously: I mean, quorum counter. However, I am not ready for such a responsi- go down better, since they lack the fizz. Or none of the sabbs do, clearly. bility. I fear responsibility so badly, I ran out of home the day maybe I should stick to Jäeger. I was given control over my allowance. I despise it so much, I Big luv, take a baby-sitter to ACC night. But I like curly fries too much Anyway, that is to say I will vote for anybody Chris xxxx to flee Imperial and start a new life as a Peer of the House of who promises to add hard drugs inside drinks, Lords. What should I do? since I have found they make the musical selec- tion at Metric bearable. I am even prepared Sincerely, to accept a surcharge, although I won’t budge on the whole “we don’t take your credit card if Tom Floyd it’s covered in cocaine, Sir” thing. I mean, how

HOROSCOPES VIRGO ARIES TAURUS LEO CANCER GEMINI

This week you This week you decide This week you’re La This week you end up at This week you This week, try and message to make friends the La Land! No, wait, a house party. You wake download Tinder but predictably, you get Crushperial but end unconventional way you’re Moonlight! up with two road signs, a as you’re an Imperial drunk. You’re a fucking up posting on your by posing as the ICU Hang on, actually photo album and half a student you decide you mess. Sort your life crush’s Facebook wall. Returning Officer. Crafty. you’re Batman vs bannister in your bed. need an edge. Hit the out. After that pint I Worst social media #voteicu Superman. And you’re Gym? Brush up on your guess. fuckup since those shit. flirting? Nah, hack the ‘problematic’ tweets algorithm. from Lucinda. #voteicu SAGITTARIUS LIBRA SCORPIO AQUARIUS CAPRICORN PISCES

This week you realise This week you go This week you decide This week you’re This week you decide This week you’re that Heathrow’s new #large at ACC and to run in the union Rob Garside and to win the elections Tessa Davey and runway is a great decide to sleep in elections but your assault one of the using military force. It you’ve been at idea! You’ll be able to the kit room in the name’s RON. Tough candidates on Live TV. works! ALL HAIL YOUR Imperial for almost not afford to jet away West Basement. You luck. #voteicu NEW OVERLORD. a decade. You might somewhere exotic awake to find that #voteicu #voteicu not be a medic, but even quicker now! mountaineering have you’ve certainly slept taken you up Ben with more than enough Nevis. of them. Well done. #voteicu otin oens at 12:00 today It’s quick and easy to vote anywhere! Visit itlyoteicu through your phone’s browser. Voting closes 12:00, Friday 10 March !

r ote online at imperialcollegeunion.org/vote

Visit our website to vote and get more information on all the positions and candidates. imperialcollegeunion.org/elections Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/sport 35 SPORT felix RSM bring home the bottle

n 20th \\ Ten minutes gone who skilfully drew his man the Londoners on. From the get into the opposition 22. February and offloaded to Moorby to next scrum on the halfway Blackett won a penalty after 2016, a and with a 13 point canter over unopposed on line, and with a sizable collecting a loose ball only to tragedy lead, the bottle the left wing. Moorbs once blindside to attack, no. eight be tackled high, with the CSM befell the again held his nerve with Zaboronsky took off in his attempted tackler having Royal seemed like it was the boot to put us up by ten usual sideways fashion and, to be taken off for a blood OSchool of Mines in the dark on its way back to points. From the restart, which ignoring calls for a pass from replacement. Moorby easily dingy depths of Falmouth. The DNS collected in his usual the wing, broke through three tapped over the penalty from Bottle was lost! In the midst of the capital. CSM, over-the-head fashion, RSM tackles before finally offload- in front. Shortly after, CSM one of the biggest storms the however, had other kept up the same flowing and ing to set Amato up with some were dealt another blow with south coast had ever seen, accurate style of play, round- clear air ahead of him and their captain having to be the RSM rugby players fell plans \\ ing off several good phases only one covering defender stretchered off with a broken victim to the CSM scum in with another penalty kick. Ten to beat. Using his quick feet leg, thus ending the first half the muddy trenches. A year minutes gone and with a 13 and outrageous pace, he five minutes early. later in the leafy suburbs half, we were rewarded with point lead, the bottle seemed rounded the last man to dot Both teams came flying out of Harlington a new mining the first penalty of the match like it was on its way back to down and restore RSM’s of the blocks for the second outfit strode out to make and a chance for Moorby the capital. CSM, however, early dominance, to many period with more big hits and battle, adorned in their new to put the Black and Gold had other plans and came cheers from the Black and outrageous steps. Everything windstopper jackets #stash. It in front, which he duly took. storming back straight from Gold sideline. Moorby was was going RSM’s way was time for the annual Bottle CSM pitched the ball high off the kick off, piling the pres- once again impeccable from though, as they got straight Match, the world’s 2nd oldest the kick-off, RSM collected sure on to the RSM forwards the tee, neatly bisecting the back into the opposition half rugby varsity, to commence. and kicked back deep to with good line speed and low posts from near the touchline. and after some sustained With both sidelines cheering keep the pressure on the tackles. From a turnover they This try seemed to get under pressure, once again we spun and jeering the players on Cornishmen. More good worked it wide and with a the skin of those in blue and the ball wide and this time with effervescent merriment, defence resulted in a quick slipped tackle, dived over the yellow shirts, with a few scuf- Moorby turned provider to the whistle sounded and Sam turnover and after some good line to get themselves slightly fles erupting in the following put Captain Dunne (Ruairi Moorby got us underway. phase-play from hard running back into the game. 13-8 to minutes, which the ref calmed Ruairi Dunne, Ruairi Dunne, After some strong defence forwards, James Field spread RSM. However, having their down with a severe scalding. Ruaaaairi Ruairi Dunne, nah from RSM in the opposition the ball wide to Dunning lead cut only seemed to spur There followed a mundane nah nah nah nah) through for passage of play with both RSM’s third try of the match. sides committing many errors CSM came back with another and not being able to sustain try through some offloads and enough pressure to trouble a bit of luck from the bounce either defence. But, as if he of the ball but Moorby gave had sensed the game needed us some more breathing room sparking up, out of nowhere, with two more penalties. a thumping dump tackle by With two minutes to go, the Mike Wright landed a poor Cornishmen converted from a CSM player flat on his back wide move off a lineout within and doubled over in pain. The our 22. However, shortly ref, however, feared for the after the kick off they knocked poor CSM player’s dignity in on and Blackett sent the ball front of all of his mates, and into the crowds to the sound showed Wright a yellow card of the whistle, kicking off the for his excellent technique. wild celebrations and pitch But even being down to 14 invasion. Dunne was hoisted men did not phase the RSM, onto shoulders to receive the as they fought back hard to bottle which he held aloft to triumphant cheers from the Black and Gold army. \\ The ref, however, The crowd and players then returned to the union to place feared for the the bottle in its rightful place poor CSM player’s and celebrate their success. Final score RSM 36-19 CSM. dignity ... and The Bottle is home. showed Wright a

yellow card for his Matt Blackett excellent technique \\ 36 felixonline.co.uk/sport [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 Friday 3 March 2017 [email protected] felixonline.co.uk/sport 37 felix SPORT SPORT felix Club developments going smart Octopush-ing the limits with style

he membership yacht club’s operations were branding analysis for the aturday was matches, which vary from captains tried to coach their base of the presented to ICG to better yacht club. Consultants com- the most games we play during train- last few tactics between Imperial College understand the existing issues pared the yacht club against anticipated day ing with three referees for games. This allowed for Yacht Club had and objectives. other sports clubs at Imperial of the underwater every game: two water refs just under 100 games to be shrunk over the Since then, the consultants and other UK universities in hockey calendar: and one land ref, watching played throughout the day, past five years have worked on the project order to understand the rela- the national from above the water. Every with our team competing in Tand the new committee of collaboratively and updated tive position of the yacht club. Stournament. Hosted by a player’s moves are under an exhausting ten of them. the yacht club are eager to the yacht club committee An indicative survey, which different university each year scrutiny, trying to withhold As none of us had ever find solutions to improve this through frequent discussions. received over 110 responds, and run with the assistance the non-contact aspects of competed at this level situation as well as the club’s The ICG consultants have also revealed the yacht club’s of our governing body (the play, although after a fin or before, we started with low operations. received training and mentor- public perception in areas British Octopush Association), two to the face you will soon expectations. We were very After a summer-long dis- ship from L.E.K. Consulting, a such as the quality of activ- the student nationals see realise this is not a sport for much there to learn from the cussion within the yacht club, leading global strategy con- ities, membership cost, trip the best underwater hockey the delicate. Despite the refs other teams and soak up leaps and bounds since our We quickly became close to potential areas of develop- sulting firm. Despite startimg prices, social media commu- teams from around the communicating by signs indi- some experience, but were first tournament last term Oxford, who we had played ment were identified, such as with modest consulting back- nications, and etc. Although country battle head to head cating rules akin to football, pleased to hold up a fair and continuously recruiting a friendly against only a few participating in regattas over- grounds, the ICG consultants seen as an expensive sport, to secure the title of national even including the off-side game against several teams. new players to our Thursday days before. Smashing this seas and introducing yachting quickly picked up the skill set many students are interested champions. With Plymouth A rule, the pool was anything Playing against some GB evening training sessions at friendly had really boosted courses to Imperial students. along the project. in yachting and are willing to the interview seeded the team wearing t-shirts boasting but quiet. As a 50 metre com- players, every single goal ETHOS (8pm-10pm). our team morale. Unfortunately, as soon as the During the project, ICG give it a try. goodwill of yachting collabo- of their six consecutive wins, petition pool it was split into was a great achievement. Last but not least, we were academic year began, the first conducted the feasibility In order to understand how rations in the future between \\ A wonderful the pressure was on. four areas: three games were Drawing in our final game, rewarded with an after-party yacht club started to focus on study of delivering the Royal yacht clubs are operated Cambridge and Imperial. success ... Shines As a fast growing sport here played simultaneously, each we finished the tournament in in the evening, an opportunity its existing yachting activities. Yachting Association (RYA) in other top universities, Lastly, ICG developed a at Imperial, our team was with their own set of splashes high-spirits, with high hopes to let our hair down out of our Those seemingly ambitious yachting courses to Imperial the yacht club arranged an five-year growth strategy for a light on the novice heavy. This meant and cheers over goals, and for next year as we continue ridiculous-looking hats and plans were suspended due to students. Offering yachting interview for ICG with Dr Paul the yacht club based on the yachet club’s future the tournament saw several the warm-up area had its to improve, having come on get to know the other teams. lack of capacity. courses is an important part Wedrich, the former vice-com- insights from the investigations debutants during official own intense atmosphere as Esme Hotston Moore An occasional opportunity of the development strategy modore of Cambridge and analysis. After approx- development \\ put the yacht club in contact as it adds a new source of University Yacht Club. During imately ten weeks, the final with the Imperial Consulting income to the club. ICG then the meeting Dr Wedrich deliverables of the consulting Group (ICG), an organisation proposed a roadmap of intro- talked about the history of the project were organised and participating in the world’s run by Imperial students. The ducing the RYA course based Cambridge University Yacht formally presented to the biggest student regatta in yacht club then engaged ICG on different costs and human Club, and how the club devel- yacht club’s committee. Some France this April. Also, an in the hopes of delivering resources options. According oped, step by step, towards of the highlights of the five- initial collaboration with the IC American Football | Divison champs systematic strategies to offer to the plan, by delivering the owning two yachts, and gen- year growth strategy include Cambridge University Yacht better services to its members. courses the yacht club itself erating an annual turnover the offering of yachting day Club is likely to launch next The collaboration process will become an RYA-certified over £100,000. The interview trips, more competitive mem- academic year, focusing on started with a kickstart training centre, able to con- was obviously inspiring, but bership fee and reasonable yachting trainings. Mean- meeting between yacht club duct yacht trainings globally. also implied the importance pricings. while, ICG has started its fter a season- \\ Due to having In no time at all the ball P W D L GD PTS committee and ICG consult- The consultants then focused of development strategy for Yacht club’s president was second-round spring projects. long fight, ended up in the notoriously Imperial 1s 8 6 - 2 105 12 ants. During the meeting, the on membership study and a student club. Nevertheless, thrilled with the results and ICG is actively seeking it all boiled the undoubtedly grabby hands of Josemi Kent 1s 8 6 - 2 60 12 described it as “a wonderful consulting projects from down to the best scores, both (is it pronounced Hosemi? Cambridge 1s 8 6 - 2 25 12 success” and that it “shines a societies within the Imperial last Sunday Yosemi? You choose!) in RHUL East Anglia 1s 8 2 - 6 -22 4 light on the yacht club’s future Union, hoping to provide aid of the regular on offense and endzone after a gorgeous Royal Holloway 8 0 - 8 -168 0 development”. After the to any issues ranging from Aseason. To be or not to be, defence, the tie 30-yard pass. 6-0. successful presentation, con- long term growth plans to it’s now or never: all three Immortals defense proved sultants from the project were feasibility studies, offering play-off qualifiers (Imperial was broken in our why they’re the best in the 6-0 to us. Thankfully, Will the in a 6-2 tie. Due to having the offered committee positions value through students with Immortals, Cambridge favour, handing us league and forced a three- Bear does not seem to have undoubtedly best scores, both within the yacht club. In the varied backgrounds and Pythons and Kent Falcons) and-out, officially giving suffered any lasting injury, on offense and defense, the yacht club’s general opinion, perspectives. could come out top of the the 1A South East RHUL offense less action than and we sincerely wish him a tie was broken in our favour, they are the right talents to To learn more about Impe- division if the day went their conference title \\ you can get at an average speedy recovery. handing us the 1A South East lead the implementation of rial College Yacht Club and way. sports night. Ball returned After this rather sombre conference title along with the study results. One con- Imperial Consulting Group, While our play-off rivals season. to Immortals offense, which win, we tuned into Kent-Cam- a 3rd seed in the play-offs, a sultant has already accepted please do visit the respective had a game between them, And fight we did. After a slowly but surely moved bridge to witness a Falcons home game at #FortHarling- the offer, and commented websites below: we travelled to Royal Hollo- short offensive drive and a forwards until the very begin- victory, meaning all three of ton and a hangover to start that “it will be an entirely way to face their Bears. The punt on the Royal Holloway ning of the second quarter top division teams ended up the week. new experience to join the Imperial College Yacht coming spring had brought part, the ball was handed to when Jason made me recycle Look for us on www.face- client side, but we will learn Club: https://www.union.ic.ac. an end to their hibernation, Immortals offense. Having his old “Kill’em” nickname book.com/ImmortalsAFC/ for to adapt and create values uk/acc/yacht/ and the 0-7 team were giving found their footing in the by doing exactly what it says \\ #BecomeImmortal updates or if you’ve decided where possible.” Imperial Consulting Group: tough resistance to teams that previous 46-0 victory against on the tin. After waiting for to join the champions and The yacht club has already https://icglondon.com/ used to walk over them just the then-reigning Pythons, an appropriately-equipped for the next #BecomeImmortal for the next started implementing the before the Christmas break. the offense gained five to ambulance due to a sus- season \\ season. #HustleHitNeverQuit strategies. Their racing Bob Xu We had to fight to not hand ten yards per carry faster pected neck injury on RHUL team, Team Imperial, is them their first win of the than the Bears could blink. side, the game was called Gatis Ogle 38 felixonline.co.uk/sport [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017 felix SPORT Randori nationals success for Jiu Jitsu

ast weekend, from bruises and scratches … Friday to Sunday The morning training evening, IC Jiu starts with a warm up, and Jitsu took part in a participants are then divided national competition by grade. Each grade will in Northampton, get to train with up to three Land brought back SEVEN instructors, practicing tech- MEDALS. This competition, niques needed for their next contrary to the competition grade or perfecting one they happening in November, already knew. After this all is not called “atemis” but grades are mixed and train “randoris”. Randori is a type together, also with different of practice that you can also instructors who can pick out encounter in judo, it is a way a particular technique they of applying and practicing would like to teach. After a your knowledge freely, small lunch break the competi- playing around with the tion starts. techniques you’ve gathered In this type of competition, so far. participants are divided forfeit if they pass out on will decide who won the fight getting off of it after the fight, The weekend was divided between male and female, the mat (meaning that they depending on technique and bow to the referee and then as follows: training Saturday by grade, and by weight usually did not tap out from a initiative demonstrated. to each other. This essentially morning and, for those who class. The higher your grade, hold when they should have), Grades green and above mean that the competitors can practice with a hangover, the more techniques (locks, or cannot stop a bleeding also have to go through a respect and entrust them- Sunday morning; qualification chokes, strangles…fun times) (doesn’t matter how small) in standing, or “tachi waza”, selves to each other, and if fights on Saturday afternoon you are allowed to use. For a reasonable time. competition consisting of anybody gets hurt there will and finals Sunday afternoon. the referees to not get con- All grades have to go trying to throw your opponent be no bad feelings about it. And it wouldn’t be a proper fused between participants through a “ne waza” competi- as they are resisting you. During the fights the edges competition weekend without in a fight, opponents have tion, which is all groundwork: Competitors start standing, of the mat area are crowded a party on Saturday!!! The to wear belts of different competitors start sitting down, face to face, and try to throw with people cheering for the dress code of the party was colours, for us it was red back to back, and after the each other to the ground. competitors, and trying to smart casual, meaning you and white. Penalties can be start is given they can win Points are given for each shout out relevant advice. would see all participants you attributed if a participant the round by pinning their throw relative to the control Even though it can put some had just fought out of their does not respect the rules of opponent to the ground for pressure on you, having your sweaty “gi” (the traditional the competition, or if they try 20 seconds, put them in a club and other jitsu friends outfit that looks like white to apply a technique that is lock and make them tap out, \\ The higher the cheering for you does give pyjamas) and all groomed not allowed for their grade. A or if they don’t manage to you more confidence and up, but with still a few leftover participant can be declared get a clear win the referees grade, the more pushes you to go all out techniques (locks, even more to win the fight. The fights do not last more chocks, strangles ... than a few minutes, but they fun times) you are are extremely tiring. Being against somebody of the allowed to use \\ same build as you usually means that they will have the same type of fighting prefer- demonstrated while executing ences, making it really tough the technique. There is a point to do anything as you are limit as well as a time limit for both trying to do the same those fights. thing. Even though we are all RESULTS: trying to beat the lights out of Yellows men: silver and 4th in each other, respect between ground competitors is omnipres- Orange women: bronze in ent, and opponents usually ground become really good friends. Green women: gold in You can see most fights ground and standing ending up with a smile and an Purple Women: 4th in exhausted hug or a respectful ground, silver in standing handshake. Respect is a big Purple men: silver in ground part of Jiu Jitsu: competitors and standing bow (“rei”) before getting on the mat to fight and when Cloe Fradin Your Union events Friday 3 March

BATTLE OF THE BANDS

The heats are on! Who will survive? Join us at the Reynolds Bar to decide Heat #2: Thursday 16 March, 19:30 Heat #3: Thursday 23 March, 19:30

The line up of each heat will be announced online. £2.00 There's £500 up for grabs for the winner of the final in entry March, plus the chance to play at the Union's Summer Ball.

imperialcollegeunion.org/attleoteans

The P C BPM 2017

Friday 10 March Metric & FiveSixEiht free entry ear the results from the eadership lections in etric from before the s tae over in etric and iveiight to help us celebrate from .

imperialcollegeunion.org/elections Get exclusive offers, discounts and more on our bars’ Facebook Pages. imperialcollegeunion.org/atson 40 felixonline.co.uk/puzzles [email protected] Friday 3 March 2017

elix PUZZLES f      FUCWIT  

 Leaderboard
  Anonymous 334  The Czechmates 329 NSNO 328   Willie Rush 328 
 
S c h r ö d i n g e r s C a t S t r i k e s B a c k 315 Sneezing Pandas 233 
  Les Nuls 225     Guinea Pigs 209        
The Gravitons 181 CEP MSC 159  
TIA 152        T h e A n t i - G ra v i t y Ac o r ns 14 4 Beasts 120 
Kenny Wangler, Cunnyfangler119    Grilled Cheese Inc. 116       THE Crystallographer 104 DQ 102 Yellow Fever 92
    Civeng Eating 84 The Couple on the Train 77 Slyther Inc 69 Chemical Brethren 64 Puzzled 62 Across One in a M1riam 54 1. Sweet message (11)   The Mystical Spankyman 44        7. Divine Comedy opener (7)                    RollEEEr 40 8. Substantial (5)                              The Ultimate Fucwit 38 10. Harsh shout (4)                                  Grand Day in Cullercoats 37 11. Catastrophe (8)                                   Big Mahmoud 36                                   13. Wyndham’s problematic                                  Christo, Jay and Erkin 36 organisms (6)                                    Luncheon Pals 30 15. Liminal time (6)  Salmon ft. Kanye 30 17. Opposite (8)  Computer Magic 24

18. Hole culprit (4)    Pseudo-coup 24 21. Poorly defined (5)    Lube Lords 23 22. Large crustacean (7)   Banananana 20 23. 1 + 2 - 3 (10) Dairylea Dunkers 18   
   Les Baguettes 18 Down    Rising Tsar 18 1. More secure (5)      Dat Boi 15

2. ____ one’s corn (4)         Poulet 15 3. Cancer or Capricorn (6)     Hillary Killed Harambe 14 4. Rapturous (8)      Shusie-Q 12 5. Akin (7)  G. Hackman 10         6. Characteristic of the Devil           Pintos-13 9 (10)        Sting Like a Butterfly 9 9. Landlocked county (10)    Tessa and Simran 9 12. Worshipful (8)      Pollux 7   
    14. Frankness (7)   Mr Dick Tingler 6 16. Refuge (6)       The Erudites 6 19. Spirit measure (5)        Too gay 2 f(x) 6 20. Nefariously aid (4)         Crosswordy McCrosswordface 5            Singed Potato 4       TP-LINK_M5_B057AD 4 Karet Slat 3 RIP Fray Bentos 3 Fanny Schmeller 2

     Bridges. Connect the circles with vertical and Points Available 18  Solutions  horizontal lines. No more than two lines can leave a Crossword 6 circle in the same direction. The numbers indicate how Bridges 6 


Send in your solutions to fsudoku@imperial.  many lines leave each circle and all circles must be Nonogram 6 ac.uk before midday Wednesday to get your    connected. No lines may cross or pass over a circle. 

score added to our leaderboard. Make sure you    include the name/team name that you’d like us to 
Nonogram. The numbers show, in order, the length of   use! blocks to be filled along that row/column. Each block  must be separated by at least one empty cell.