PAGE 86 C M Y K Weekend

‘People keep mistaking me for Boy George – taxi drivers often tell me they love Karma Chameleon!’

the afternoon walking round the rag definite market in Birmingham looking at fab- rics. I’d spend the evening at home in Kent with my partner Ian. I’d have a gin and tonic on the lawn with our dogs Valerie and Albert and our three chick- article ens, then we’d have sushi with red wine. The happiest moment you will cherish We ask a celebrity a set of devilishly forever… My show at the London Pal- ladium in 1993 was very special probing questions – and only accept because it’s such an iconic venue. All my family and friends were there and I THE definitive answer. This week remember taking a moment to savour it. it’s comedian ’s turn The saddest time that shook your world… The deaths of my partner The prized possession you value above The priority activity if you were the Christopher and my best friend Stephen, all others… The ashes of Fanny the Invisible Man for a day… I’d go to who both had AIDS, in the 1990s. It Wonder Dog, my whippet-cross who per- Syria and stop those awful ISIS was very sad and dramatic and I didn’t formed with me for years. I had her for 16 people murdering gay men by deal with any of it for a long time. years until she died in 1999. Her ashes throwing them off buildings. The unfulfilled ambition that contin- are in a little box by her photo at my home The unlikely interest The event that altered the course of The pet hate that makes ues to haunt you… To play Sir Andrew in Kent. It’s like a little shrine – I touch that engages your your life and character… Telling a rude your hackles rise... Aguecheek in Twelfth Night at the the box for luck whenever I go out. curiosity… Ironing – I joke about Norman Lamont at the Brit- Groups of teenage National Theatre. If there are any find it therapeutic. ish Comedy Awards on live TV in 1993 The biggest regret you wish you could girls on crowded directors reading this... [Julian was blacklisted as a result]. In amend… Calling ‘over- buses. They’re always The piece of wisdom you retrospect it was a good thing because I The philosophy that underpins your weight’ on Celebrity in 2012. so out of control that would pass on to a child… was losing the plot and the scandal life… Stop thinking and start living. No We were asked to tell someone a home there’s danger in the air. Beware of Catholic priests! I went cleared my diary and gave me space to good comes from dwelling on things. truth and I knew it upset her the moment to a Catholic school and one of the The film you can watch time and get myself together. It was like an act of I said it. She’s fine now and we’ve worked brothers was later imprisoned for child The order of service at your funeral… time again… Gone With The Wind for God – I was saved by a joke. together since, but it was not abuse – not that it happened to me. I want a direct incineration after death, pure escapism. It makes me laugh and The crime you would commit knowing like David Bowie. nice. I’m sorry, Coleen! The treasured item you lost and wish cry and I always lose myself in it. you could get away with it… I’d steal The temptation you wish you could have again… My grandfather The way you want to be remembered… Princess Diana’s engagement ring, now He didn’t outstay his welcome. The person who has influenced you Hector’s Rolex Oyster watch. It was sto- Photo you could resist… Mak- worn by the Duchess of Cambridge. I ing a fuss of puppies. most… My mum, Brenda. She len from my dressing room during a The Plug… Julian’s new children’s novel

know a good sapphire when I see one. g taught me to be self-sufficient and panto in Brighton in 2001. I was so The Bolds To The Rescue is published ra The book that holds an p always say yes to things so I’d have bereft I stopped eating for a few weeks. The song that means most to you… c hs: everlasting reso - by Andersen Press, £6.99. The Joy Of an interesting life. She’s 85 now Don’t Worry, Be Happy by Bobby shuttersto allstar, alamy, mirror, moodie/daily lemmie The unending quest that drives you Mincing tour runs from 25 March until nance… Stop Thinking, and still fills her diary every day. McFerrin. I played it to graduating on… Laughter – whether it’s making 27 May. Visit julianclary.co.uk. n Start Living by Rich- students when I was given an honor- ard Carlson. I first read The figure from history for myself or others laugh. As told to Rob McGibbon whom you’d most like to buy a ary doctorate by the Univer- it 15 years ago and it pie and a pint… Noël Cow- The poem that touches your soul… sity of East Anglia in 2014. helped me snap out of Shakespeare’s Sonnet 94. I had to learn ard. I’ve always been fasci- The way you would spend a downward spiral it at school when I was 12 and I can still nated by him and I live in your fantasy 24 hours, with by letting go of recite it from memory. I have no idea his old farmhouse. We’d no travel restrictions...I’d negative thoughts. what it’s about, but it’s my party piece. write a song together have croissants and tea for Right: Vivien and then I’d quiz him The misapprehension about yourself breakfast with Leigh in Gone about the shadowy parts you wish you could erase… That I’m at her house in St Tropez, then With The Wind. of his life. I’d like to know Boy George. Taxi drivers often say, ‘I go snorkelling over the Great Above right: an iron. Far right: whether he had a rela- love your music, especially Karma Barrier Reef. After that I’d the Great tionship with the then Chameleon.’ Boy George tells me they relax on a beach somewhere, Barrier Reef Duke of Kent. say to him, ‘You’re really funny!’ but I’d skip lunch and spend ck Next week PS... l Racy Raj drama Indian Angelina Jolie is back to voice Tigress in Kung Fu Panda 3 – in Summers returns – and cinemas from Friday. Motown The Musical opens at London’s this time it’s even steamier l Sweet or savoury – how Shaftesbury Theatre on Tuesday. And Ellie Goulding starts her to bake perfect pies l Monty Don’s tips for a top crocus display UK tour on the same day at the Motorpoint Arena, Cardiff l PLUS Britain’s best TV listings

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National 5 March