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Living with a Transvestite : a Phenomenological Study of Wives and Committed Partners of Transvestites

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Living with a Transvestite : a Phenomenological Study of Wives and Committed Partners of Transvestites Edith Cowan University Research Online Theses: Doctorates and Masters Theses 1-1-2000 Living with a transvestite : A phenomenological study of wives and committed partners of transvestites Heather Christine Freegard Edith Cowan University Follow this and additional works at: https://ro.ecu.edu.au/theses Part of the Gender and Sexuality Commons Recommended Citation Freegard, H. C. (2000). Living with a transvestite : A phenomenological study of wives and committed partners of transvestites. https://ro.ecu.edu.au/theses/1365 This Thesis is posted at Research Online. https://ro.ecu.edu.au/theses/1365 Edith Cowan University Copyright Warning You may print or download ONE copy of this document for the purpose of your own research or study. The University does not authorize you to copy, communicate or otherwise make available electronically to any other person any copyright material contained on this site. You are reminded of the following: Copyright owners are entitled to take legal action against persons who infringe their copyright. A reproduction of material that is protected by copyright may be a copyright infringement. Where the reproduction of such material is done without attribution of authorship, with false attribution of authorship or the authorship is treated in a derogatory manner, this may be a breach of the author’s moral rights contained in Part IX of the Copyright Act 1968 (Cth). Courts have the power to impose a wide range of civil and criminal sanctions for infringement of copyright, infringement of moral rights and other offences under the Copyright Act 1968 (Cth). Higher penalties may apply, and higher damages may be awarded, for offences and infringements involving the conversion of material into digital or electronic form. USE OF THESIS The Use of Thesis statement is not included in this version of the thesis. LIVING WITH A TRANSVESTITE: A PHENOMENOLOGICAL STUDY OF WIVES AND COMMITTED PARTNERS OF TRANSVESTITES. BY Heather Christine Freegard Assoc.OT, B.App.Sc.(OT), Grad.Dip.Soc.Sc.(Human Services) A thesis submitted to fulfill the requirement for the award of Master of Social Science (Human Services) At the Faculty of Community Services, Education and Social Sciences Edith Cowan University. Perth, Western Australia. Date of Submission: November, 2000. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I would like to express my appreciation to the people who have been so helpful in the undertaking of this research study. Firstly, my thanks to the nine women who are, or were, wives and committed partners of a transvestite, the expert informants for this study. Their generosity, honesty and preparedness to share their most intimate emotions and experiences are awe-inspiring. It has been my great privilege to know them. Sincere thanks to Dr. Margaret Sims, Edith Cowan University, as my supervisor for her consistent optimism, pragmatism, encouragement and intellectual guidance. Finally, I would like to thank my mentors, Dr. Ruth Marquis and Lyn lsted for their professional and personal support and encouragement throughout the entire journey. 2 ABSTRACT Being a man or woman is at the core of human social lives and personal identity, and guides appropriate behaviours such as dress, mannerisms and relationships. Transvestism, or the practice of wearing the clothes of the other gender, challenges societal values and guidelines forbehaviour. The attitude of society to this practice has varied from veneration to vilification depending on the period of history and the culture of the people. In western countries, although there is little social or legal repression, transvestism is largely a hidden phenomena. The tradition of comic drag has dominated public recognition of cross-dressing. Hence transvestites are perceived to be freakish or funny. Transvestites often marry, or form a committed heterosexual relationship without telling their partner of their cross-dressing. Because the public largely ignores the practice of transvestism, women who are married to, or form committed relationships with a transvestite are rendered invisible. The invisibility isolates women from information and social support. Although a substantial amount of literature is available regarding the nature of transvestism and the experience of transvestites, only sporadic attempts have been made to understand the experience of, and influence on, the wives or committed partners of transvestites. The purpose of this study was to describe the experience of living in a committed relationship with a transvestite from the point of view of the woman. 3 A phenomenological approach to data collection and content analysis identified emergent themes arising from in-depth interviews with nine women who were currently living, or had in the past lived, in a committed relationship with a transvestite. The women were aged between 38 and 84, resided in Western Australia and were of English speaking background. Significantly, some participants had left therelationship. This group of women has never been accessed in previous research hence their input increases the overall knowledge of the experiences of women in relationship with a transvestite. Women described the disclosure of transvestism by their partner to be a great shock that precipitated a long period of complicated grieving. Analysis of data indicated that the relationships between their partner and the femme identity of the man and the woman, whilst unintentional on the part of the man, was experienced as emotionally and sexually abusive by the women. The women resolved the conflict in various ways. Some re­ committed to a renegotiated relationship and some tolerated their partner s behaviour. Most felt trapped within the relationship at some stage. The majority of women chose to leave the relationship. In retrospect, the women recognised positive changes within themselves as a result of overcoming adversity. 4 DECLARATION I certify that this thesis does not to the best of my knowledge and belief: (i) incorporate without acknowledgement any material previously submitted for a degree or diploma in any institution of higher education; (ii) contain any material previously published or written by another person except where due reference is made in the text; or (iii) contain any defamatory material. tk,1; �j Signature: Heather Freegard \ �·\--- /\ (AV(;� a. (j(') \ Date: \ J 5 TABLE OF CONTENTS Page CHAPTER 1: INTRODUCTION 11 1.1 Introduction to the study 11 1.2 Background to the study 11 1.3 Significance of the study 21 1.4 Statement of the problem 23 1.5 Purpose of the study 24 1.6 Objectives of the study 24 1.7 Research question 24 1.8 Definition of terms 24 1.9 Conceptual framework 25 1.9.1 Symbolic interactionism 26 1.9.2 Social ecology 27 1.10 Assumptions underlying the study 32 CHAPTER 2: LITERATURE REVIEW 33 2.1 Introduction and overview 33 2.2 Cross-dressing behaviours: an historical perspective 33 2.3 Cross-dressing behaviours: sorting out the labels 41 2.4 Defining Transvestism ,45 4.8 The experience of wives and committed partners 63 6 page CHAPTER3:METH0DOLOGY 75 3.1 Introduction 75 3.2 The paradigm for inquiry 75 3.3 Phenomenology as method 79 3.4 Feminist research methodology 85 3.5 Credibility and Validity 89 3.6 Research procedures 92 3.6.1 Strategy for sampling 92 3.6.2 Access to the sample 93 3.6.3 In-depth interviews 96 3. 6.4 The interview guide 97 3.6.5 The interview procedure 98 3.6.6 The group interview 99 3.7 Data collection and analysis 102 3.8 Coding of data 104 3.9 Storage of data 104 3.10 Ethical considerations 105 CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS 107 4.1 Introduction 107 4.2 Description of participants 107 4.3 Phenomenological analysis 108 4.4 The experience of living with a transvestite 110 4.5 The discovery 112 7 page 4.6 Theme 1 : A living grief 117 4.7 Theme 2: Living with shadows 126 4.8 Theme 3: Three in the bed 135 4.9 Theme 4: Living with a transvestite 142 4.10 Theme 5: What about the children? 155 4.11 Theme 6: Consequences of telling the children 160 4.12 Theme 7: It s all a big secret 164 4.13 Theme 8: Is there no-one to help me? 171 4.14 Theme 9. At last someone understands 176 4.15 Theme 10: Getting through the day 181 4.16 Theme 11: Looking to the future 186 4.17 Wisdom of the women 198 4.18 Postscript 200 CHAPTER 5: DISCUSSION 206 5.1 Introduction 206 5.2 Grieving forthe lost relationship 209 5.3 The changed relationship 214 5.4 Challenges to self-identity 218 5.5 Sexual identity and sexual competence 225 5.6 Styles of coping 228 5.7 Emotional abuse 231 5.8 Sexual abuse 234 5.9 Relationships with others 239 8 5.10 The secret nature of transvestism 241 5.11 Activities of grieving 242 5.12 Gaining strength from adversity 251 5.13 Other points of view 253 5.14 Limitations of the study 258 5.15 Summary 260 REFERENCES 262 APPENDICES 275 Appendix A: Consent form 275 Appendix B: Letter of introduction 277 Appendix C: Demographic information form 279 Appendix D: Confidentiality statement - transcriber 280 Appendix E: Profile of participants 281 Appendix F: Participant feedback on findings 282 9 LIST OF FIGURES Figure Page 1.1 The social ecology of a relationship between a male transvestite and female partner 29 1.2 Theoretical frame of reference 31 4.1 Living with a transvestite: themes and sub-themes 110 4.2 Theme 1: A living grief 117 4.3 Theme 2: Living with shadows 126 4.4 Theme 3: Three in the bed 135 4.5 Theme 4: Living with a transvestite 142 4.6 Theme 5: What about the children? 155 4.7 Theme 6: Consequences of telling the children 160 4.8 Theme 7: It s all a big secret 164 4.9 Theme 8: Is there no-one to help me? 171 4.10 Theme 9: At last someone understands 176 4.11 Theme 10: Getting through the day 181 4.12 Theme 11 : Looking to the future 186 5.1 The pendulum of themes 207 10 CHAPTER ONE: INTRODUCTION 1.1: INTRODUCTION TO THE STUDY This thesis describes a study of the lived experience of women living in a committed relationship with a transvestite.
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